#for past fandoms I’d have to order things online or go to a convention to find anything in person

[yuji-enjoyer]

Look who I found at Ross of all places???

[bog-o-bones]

Kaiju Media Forecast 2020

The kaiju fandom has certainly seen a gigantic upswing in content since the last time I did one of these “year going forward” reviews. Let’s take a look at some of the major movies, events, merchandise and more that kaiju fans have to look forward to in the coming year!

Movies

Every year since at least 2013, the kaiju fandom has had one “tentpole” film event of the year, usually the most highly anticipated feature coming out that year that most media and merchandise hype will surround. This year’s choice is the latest (and possibly last?) of the Legendary MonsterVerse which just last year introduced us to the first American incarnations of Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah. Later this year, the King of the Monsters will once again take on the King of Skull Island in a rematch nearly 60 years in the making with Godzilla vs. Kong. The only snippet of footage we’ve seen is featured in the screenshot above and recently leaked toy fair displays have quite a lot in store for the big crossover event of the MonsterVerse. Godzilla vs. Kong drops November 20th.

According to your definition, the first kaiju film of 2020 launched two weeks ago with Underwater. The Kristen Stewart-helmed deep-sea monster movie isn’t really making the splash it was looking for box office-wise and most people who have seen it say that it’s okay at worst. Regardless, if you like big monsters and quasi-Cloverfield type films, you can give it a shot in theaters now or in a few months when it hits home media.

Godzilla’s sole big screen appearance won’t just be limited to the big crossover with Kong as a snow-covered cameo role will land him a spot in the new Shinkalion movie. From a clip posted on Yahoo Japan (refresh the page if it doesn’t work) Godzilla briefly faces Hatsune Miku piloting a giant train-based mecha (I tried pinching myself, believe me) at the very end. This role is likely going to be very short but nonetheless, it’s always satisfying to see Godzilla pop up in the most unexpected places.

Again, stretching the definition of “kaiju” here, but also apparently the Monster Hunter movie still exists and is coming out later this year in September? I don’t know much about the franchise, but I do know it’s probably going to be butchered with a Paul W.S. Anderson directed schlock fest. Who knows, maybe the monster scenes will make up for it?

As is tradition, the Ultraman franchise hits us once again with an annual theatrical movie based off the previous year’s show. Ultraman Taiga The Movie: New Generation Climax will be out in March and judging by the title, will feature a climactic event featuring the New Generation assortment of Ultraman heroes. I still have yet to see Taiga but hopefully this provides a fun conclusion to the show.

Famed director Hideaki Anno returns to the world of his most famous creation with Evangelion 3.0+1.0, the highly anticipated final installment in the Rebuild series to be released this June. I have not seen any of the Rebuild movies myself but this is sure to be a wild and crazy ride for Evangelion fans.

Finally, the oddball of the bunch. Kadokawa rises from it’s dusty grave with a brand new monster film focused on the unproduced predecessor to Gamera: Nezura 1964. Featuring giant rat monsters and a cast comprised of many Daiei/Kadokawa favorites, it’ll be interesting to see if this film can capitalize on the recent kaiju craze and be successful enough to possibly give our old turtle friend the revival he truly deserves. Nezura 1964 is due out in December in Japan.

Television

Not much on the television docket this year. It’s far too early to speculate about Tsuburaya’s next Ultra series, leaving us with little to discuss. Studio Trigger is supposedly making some kind of new series related to it’s Gridman show from last year (another item I have yet to see). Titled SSSS.DYNAZENON, nobody knows when it’s due out so for all I know this could be a rather outdated entry.

What we do know for sure is coming is something not particularly kaiju but still related via the tokusatsu connection is the continuation of Kamen Rider Zero-One, the first Rider series in Japan’s newly named Reiwa period. This isn’t really related to the year 2020 but honestly I’d rather have something in this TV section to talk about than just the Gridman sequel.

Merchandise

Last year was one of the greatest years in the history of the American Ultraman fandom with the officially sanctioned releases of Ultra Q, Ultraman, Ultraseven, Ultraman Orb and Ultraman Geed to Blu-Ray in the West for the very first time. In this new year, Mill Creek will continue to satiate the needs of Western Ultra fans with releases of previously unseen-on-western-disc series Return of Ultraman, Ultraman Ace, Ultraman X, and the Ultraman Orb Origin Saga. A schedule flyer released online also teases many other entries in the franchise making the continuous release of these beloved shows a treat to look forward to. You can pre-order the four releases discussed above on Amazon.

American toy company Playmates acquired the license for the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline last year and in early January, a few figures from their non-film focused toylines showed up at Walmarts across the country. They’re uh...well, let’s be honest: they’re not great. Leaked images of the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline were also shared around social media but I’ll avoid talking about them here for spoiler purposes. Let’s just say the line is looking mighty juicy for kaiju fans and it will be interesting to see if they’re promoted come New York Toy Fair.

Bandai’s Movie Monsters Series line will likely continue to issue newly reissued/remolded monsters in the Godzilla line (as well as produce new figures for Godzilla vs. Kong) but coming out in March is a sight for sore eyes: a brand new sculpt of the 1995 Gamera design for the 25th anniversary of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe. Hopefully a Super Gyaos is not far behind!

The S.H. MonsterArts line had a fairly predictable and underwhelming list of releases last year. Great figures for the most part, but obvious choices without much surprise. This being a movie year, I don’t expect much to change and we’ll likely see Godzilla vs. Kong figures soon enough. What is confirmed and releasing in May is their take on the Burning Godzilla design featured in Godzilla: King of the Monsters last year. Originally a Tamashii WebShop exclusive, it’s being released in America by Bluefin around June.

Media company SRS Cinema continues to throw unexpected independent kaiju films our way with releases of Deep Sea Monster Reigo and Deep Sea Monster Raiga last year on limited Blu-Ray and wide-release DVD. They’ll continue the assortment this year with Attack of the Giant Teacher and Raiga vs. Ohga. The films likely won’t be much to look at, but more independent kaiju films seeing a western release is never a bad thing. Here’s hoping Daikaiju Eiga G or Gehara see a release soon.

In an almost perfect repeat of Daiei and Toho’s box office bout sixty years ago, boutique label Arrow Video has reportedly secured the rights to the Gamera franchise and are planning a box set that could rival Criterion’s late 2019 release of the entire Showa Godzilla series. Arrow Video puts out sublime products and kaiju fans will likely want to keep their eyes peeled for this set, even if they’ve already secured Mill Creek’s rather dull bargain sets from years past.

While not on the docket for tie-ins to Godzilla vs. Kong (yet), NECA will likely be continuing to pump out new figures in their Classic Godzilla line. No brand new sculpts are known at the moment, but fans can look forward to a blue, poster-styled repaint of their KOTM Mothra figure and some reissues of their older molds in new box-styled, poster-featuring packaging. Some, like the 1985 Godzilla, might even feature newly molded details.

In rather shocking news, Media Blasters has seemingly propped one of its kaiju films up from the depths of licensing hell with an announcement of a Blu-Ray release of Gappa the Triphibian Monsters scheduled for a February release. The out-of-nowhere circumstances surrounding this release as well as a proclaimed inclusion of an “uncut” Japanese release (despite the International version containing more footage than the Japanese version) and Media Blasters rather spotty history regarding kaiju Blu-Rays should have folks taking this with a grain of salt until the actual discs are in collectors’ hands.

Events

As per usual, the kaiju fan’s Woodstock G-FEST will be continuing it’s annual celebration of all things giant monster from July 10-12 at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O’Hare in Rosemont, IL. No guest announcements at this time, but fans looking to go should register and book a hotel immediately as attendance will continue to spike and rooms in the convention’s hotel are already sold out.

As is tradition, the San Diego Comic Con will take place this summer a week after G-FEST is over and will likely bring with it new information on Godzilla vs. Kong and many other kaiju-related media. NECA will possibly show off new figures and we may even see some post-2020 information on the MonsterVerse.

Not necessarily guaranteed, but kaiju fans may also want to look out for this year’s New York ToyFair taking place in February. ToyFair has pretty much become the SDCC for toy collectors with many companies showing off their new products for the new year. Kaiju collectors will possibly get a glimpse at the Playmates Godzilla vs. Kong assortment as well as a few other possible surprise reveals from other companies like NECA or Diamond Select.

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2020 is looking to be a monstrous year for kaiju fans. Hopefully the fandom will enjoy everything to come from our favorite franchises.

Here’s to a happy 2020!

[elven-ariaera]

Welcome all!

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do. Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity.

For those who are only interested in certain segments, I’ve broken the article into the following sections for you to easily maneuver your way throughout the piece: Art, cosplay, writing, and questions asked by you.

I know I’m no professional and compared to a lot of others I don’t have as outstanding an amount of followers, but if this article can help inspire at least one artist to try something new or learn something they didn’t know, well, that’s good enough for me! I hope you enjoy!

Art

When did you get into art?

I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember, but I do recall middle school in particular being the time that I really started pursuing art. I had to choose between volleyball and art club after school, and guess which one I picked. It wasn’t just academics either. My notebooks were full of fan art of mostly Link and Zelda, but you could find some Kirby, Pokémon, and Naruto scattered in there as well.

Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Yeah. It’s… Something.

What defines your artistic style?

I think the faces of the characters I draw distinguish my art. I always have a certain way of drawing the eyes, ears, and other features. I always give my females more prominent eyelashes than males as well. Certain clothing as well — The way I draw capes and hoods are distinct. Not to mention when designing my own clothes, I tend to use similar patterns.

Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I occasionally dabble outside my comfort zone. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of the “Cal-Arts” style, but I’ve tried it every now and then, especially when creating fan art for shows like Steven Universe, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Amphibia. I don’t really do it too often, but I’ve made a piece for my portfolio mimicking several art styles from a variety of different shows just to demonstrate that I can do it if I’d like to.

What levels of artistic education have you had?

Honestly, just high school. I thought I was going to college for digital illustrations but it turned out communication/graphic design was totally different. I actually got into that because I could draw when not many other people in that field could. Of course, I’m always interested in learning outside of school. I learn through watching other artists on social media, seeing how they create their work. Just watching a speed draw can help so much! The way I learn the most, however, is just by doing. Practice, practice, practice! 

Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

I’ve been doing a lot of Fire Emblem doodles for my new sticker line, so here’s Setsuna. Honestly, I just like drawing bust portraits like this.

What is your favorite piece that you have done?

I can’t just pick one! I’ve drawn over 900 things since I first joined DeviantArt (and I’ve been drawing even before then), you want me to pick just one? Haha, I’ll narrow it down to three of my favorites (in no particular order):

I love this one because it was like the first cute drawing of Ivysaur I’ve ever done. Ivysaur was always a tricky pokémon for me to draw, but this was the first time I feel like I nailed it. Ivysaur also happens to be one of my absolute favorites, so that’s a plus.

This is Minerva, a Guardian from my fantasy stories. Every time I drew her prior, I could never quite get the look I wanted. This was the one that I really liked and so I colored it and am very happy with how it turned out.

I don’t know why I just love this drawing I did of Dimitri from Three Houses. I think its the eyes and hair. And the color contrast — especially in the original ink sketch (that I hung up over my craft table.) I just love it.

What is your least favorite piece that you have done?

Again, you want just one? Haha, too many failures. I’ll be fair, though, and post three of those as well.

Here’s one from my early days. I was trying so hard to get the hair all detailed like and instead it came out looking like gross looking veins. Not to mention how atrocious the proportions were. Oh man, I’m sorry past me, I know you tried.

Here’s one I was so proud of: I copied the official art for Twilight Princess and thought it came out amazing. So amazing I titled the piece “Awesomeful Link.” Yeah. Um. Nope.

Here’s a more recent one that I’m not too pleased with. I was so excited about the latest batch of Steven Universe episodes (which I would later learn were a big bunch of filler episodes and that didn’t make anything better) I drew Pearl reciting her ‘big line’ of the trailer. I tried to mix styles and I tried something different with the eyes and all in all it just came out… Meh.

What do you like most about your art?

I like the faces that I draw. They’re always the most fun and I think they come out the best. I especially love the eyes, I go into so much detail on them (even though they’re usually so small when I print them.) I’ve had issues in the past where I made all of my characters look like they had the same face, but I feel I’ve been doing a lot better at individualizing the face of each character and that makes it all the more fun as well.

What do you like least about your art?

The hands. Sometimes I draw them well, but I still struggle hard and sometimes it really shows. For chibi drawings, I don’t really care as much, but on my more “serious” art, I get a little bummed when I’ve got a wonky hand hanging off their wrists. Feet also sometimes give me a bit of trouble, but usually only when I do poses that involve more movement, which is why I sometimes make my art stiffer and I don’t like doing that either.

Have you ever considered taking commissions?

I do take commissions. In fact, I’d love to take more if it were possible.

Are you looking to pursue a career in art?

I do it part-time right now. I’m satisfied doing commissions and artist tables at local conventions. I think I’d like to pursue writing more than art, but I do love art just as well, so part-time is perfect for me.

What do you like drawing the most?

As I mentioned before, faces. I love drawing facial expressions, I feel like it’s the very core of a character. It’s the first thing I notice when I look at anyone’s art, so I always go all out on my own. I also like drawing hair and wrinkles in clothing. I used to be really obsessed with wrinkles and it would always look like my characters didn’t iron their laundry, but I’ve definitely toned it down since then, haha.

All in all, I like drawing human characters the best — or humanoid. Elves, fairies, merfolk; I love them the most. I like drawing animals too, but not as much as people. 

What do you like drawing the least?

Once again my answer is hands. They are still as difficult to draw as the day I started.

Backgrounds are also not enjoyable for me to draw. It’s an important part of a piece, but I get so bored drawing anything that’s not a character — which is why you’ll probably notice in a lot of my art that I do a lot of very minimal backgrounds. I’ve been trying very hard not to just take stock photos anymore (with the exception of my Mythical Month art as they’re meant to be stickers,) and I’ve been using games like Skyrim and Breath of the Wild as inspiration with their gorgeous scenery. 

Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of?

I post a lot more fan art than original — at least I used to, but I also think I have expanded in sharing my original art more and more with my Mythical Months/Mondays. I guess maybe I’d say about half and half.

What medium/program do you use the most in your art?

Digitally I always use Photoshop. Always. As for traditional art, I’ve been using Copic knock-offs (I’m still learning, so I’d rather not waste the money) and the Sakura Micron pens for my ink sketches. I’ve really been enjoying them, actually, it’s very therapeutic. However, no matter digitally or traditionally, I always, ALWAYS start with a pencil. I like mechanical pencils, I don’t like traditional #2 pencils anymore. The thin lead helps me keep control better.

How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

I always say I think my art is “above average.” I know it’s not bad, but I think it could always use improvement. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I think my art is phenomenal, but I’m content with it, it makes me happy, and that’s all that matters.

List at least one of your “artspirations.”

My art style was greatly inspired by Naruto, Fire Emblem, and Zelda. I always liked more proper body proportions with that hint of anime inspiration. I like bigger eyes on my characters because they help convey emotion so much better, but I also don’t like the oversized baby eyes outside of the occasional chibi style. Avatar: The Last Airbender was also a great influence since the creators did exactly what I like to do and execute it wonderfully.

What do you think you could stand to improve on?

I feel like I can always improve on everything that I do in my art. There are things I’m good at, but I don’t feel like I’ve mastered anything in particular. Then there’s hands and feet again which I definitely need to work on. Lastly, motion. I want to be able to draw more fluid character motions. I’ve been working on it with my original art that I don’t post online, but hopefully I’ll start incorporating it into all my work.

Do you have a shameful art past? (recolor sprite comics, tracing art, etc.?)

Ugh, yes, YES! I admit I was so bad at first, but I also think that’s just how we learn. I used to do a lot of tracing. I started first just full-on tracing images off my computer — That’s right, I’d put the paper up to the computer and trace it like that. Then I started using bases, which was better because at least I had to draw all the details like hair and clothing by myself. Then I finally worked up the courage to stop using them completely. I’d use references, but I would force myself to figure it out by eye rather than copy it straight from the source. I’m happy to say I haven’t been tracing since my late middle school- early high school years.

Cosplay

How many years have you cosplayed?

My first cosplay was when I was fourteen, and I’m twenty-five at the time of writing this article, so eleven years now. Wow.

How did you get into cosplaying?

I honestly don’t know. I was invited to a convention where I heard people dressed up and was like “hey, I want to try that!” I guess it was because I didn’t really do Halloween as a kid and I was so deathly terrified of costumed characters as a toddler that I never took an interest until high school.

How many cosplays have you done?

That’s funny, you want me to remember how many cosplays I’ve ever done. A lot. According to my photo collection, I’ve done about 60 different cosplays (59 exactly if I’m counting correctly.)

What was your first cosplay and why did you choose it?

My first cosplay was Osaka from Azumanga Daioh in her blue summer uniform. Azumanga Daioh was my second ever manga series and my cousin and I were so obsessed with it. She even went as Yukari with me to the convention (though only, like, two people knew who we were.) Tomo is probably my favorite character, but I related personally more to Osaka, being the air-head that I am. I also didn’t have to really style my hair (because that was an era before I used wigs.)

What is your favorite cosplay you’ve done so far?

It’s a tie between my Trainee Link (Hyrule Warriors) costume and my Royal Guard Link (Zelda: Breath of the Wild) costume. Both are alternative costumes for one of my all-time favorite characters that I hand made all the really detailed pieces all from scratch. Link has always been a special character for me to cosplay, but these two are my favorites.

What is your least favorite you’ve cosplayed?

Rapunzel (Tangled). I was obsessed with her at the time which is why I wanted to cosplay her originally, but my dress was not the best and I didn’t look good as her. At least I think so. It was the only costume that made me feel insecure.

What cosplay is the most uncomfortable or troublesome?

Okay, I love this costume and character to pieces, but my gosh the struggles I go through for Pearl (Steven Universe). Blue Diamond (Steven Universe) is the worst in terms of how long it takes me to put my makeup on, but Pearl is right behind her at about 2 hours being my best time. However, the thing that makes Pearl more troublesome to wear is one thing and one thing alone: armsocks.

They look great and prevent you from having to dab makeup all over your body, but I literally couldn’t even hit the home button on my cellphone and it’s not like I could just take them off like gloves. They’re attached at your middle and putting them on is a hassle on its own. Getting your fingers into each tiny socket is so time-consuming. Now imagine this while also being coated in body paint. Plus, having white be the color of the stockings, you have to be conscious of everything you touch because it will stain and show. Because of all this, I refuse to use the restroom dressed as Pearl, and while that is “in character,” it is not healthy and totally NOT recommended you do that.

What is your most comfortable cosplay?

During the winter, Ravio (Zelda: A Link Between Worlds) for sure. It’s like wearing a giant snuggie. However, in summer, it does get hot very quickly (which is why I literally only wear biker shorts and a tank underneath if I ever do take it out on a hot day), so I only wear it in summer if I know there will be AC. Heatstroke is a real thing. Miss Frizzle (Magic School Bus) is probably the best all-year cosplay in terms of comfort. It’s just a dress, stockings, and a wig really.

But in all honesty, most of my cosplays are relatively comfortable. There’s really nothing that I’ve been so uncomfortable that it’s made my physically ill or scarred me physically. My health is important to me, and should safety should always come first.

How do you research the cosplay before you make it?

I look up lots of reference images. I need an image of the front and back, though if it’s not available, I just improvise based on the images I do have on hand. After that, I kind of just wing it.

Do you sew your cosplays yourself?

A good majority of them, yes. There are a few exceptions to this, though: My Disney princesses are all bought since I use them in performances and want them to be durable if children come and tug on the outfit. Pearl, also being a performance cosplay, I did buy as well. For her second reformation outfit (the sleeveless with the ribbon) I got specially commissioned to look and fit me just right whereas her movie/future appearance (jacket and mom-jeans) I literally found at a thrift store. I also love to find costume pieces at thrift stores. Whether I use them as is or make alterations, they make life so much easier when you make a good find for a cheap price. Leni Loud (Loud House) is probably my favorite thrift/sew hybrid. I found a base dress, altered the top and added strap sleeves, put lace around the edges, found a blingy pair of sunglasses, bought earrings and painted them, and made bows for sandals I already had. The most expensive part of that cosplay was the wig I bought from Arda (and it’s always worth it to buy from them in my opinion.)

When I make a costume completely from scratch (like Ravio, Thranduil, any of my Link cosplays) are when I really love the costume and character and want to take on a challenge and bring it to life myself. They also tend to have pieces that can’t be altered from your everyday clothing, but that just makes me work harder and learn more!

How did you learn to sew?

My grandmother taught me how. Osaka was my first cosplay, but my mom altered it from a tee shirt we found at a thrift store and a lucky skirt find. Kabuto Yakushi (Naruto) was the first cosplay I made from scratch (and I won best novice at the convention I wore it to — even with my terrible wig, haha.) She showed me how to use patterns when we made that and my Ayame Sohma cosplay, but after that, I scrapped using patterns and I basically just eyeball everything now. It’s totally not recommended, but I’m a little weirdo and just prefer to do things the way I do. Still, I wouldn’t be able to use a sewing machine if it weren’t for her. Thanks, Nanny!

Do you make your own props?

Most of them. I don’t really use props too often as I find them cumbersome to lug around a convention (which is how I thought of the Fire Emblem, Gravity Falls, and Skyrim book boxes to store your stuff and add some extra flair to a costume.) The few props I have made include Link’s sword, his trainee shield, his original shield from Zelda 1, and Soren’s Wind Tome (which I used for Laurent (Fire Emblem: Awakening) because I didn’t finish Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) yet…) Then there’s my prized cosplay prop; Victreebel for James (Pokémon). That was all thanks to my fleece hat business in high school that taught me the skills to build that thing.

I actually think the only prop I store-bought was my Hylian Shield because it was so lightweight and easy to carry, plus I was dreading doing all those details at the time. Maybe one day I’ll make it from scratch, but for now, I’m content with my store-bought.

Do you style your own wigs?

Yes. I have been improving my styling skills a lot more since I first started. It was always a more difficult task for me, but I’ve been practicing more and more. The first one that I attempted on my own was my short-haired Rapunzel. That was basically just giving it a haircut, though. My first real styling challenge was Breath of the Wild Link. It took a long time, but I actually had fun figuring out his hair.

For most of my costumes, it’s really just the bangs that need that extra pop, to which I use Got2B gel and spray. Does the trick every time and keeps everything in place. For those who are wondering, though: No, I did not style Pearl’s wig. I am not ready for that kind of gravity-defying styling. That was all E-Bay.

What skill has been most useful for making your cosplay?

Well, sewing mostly, but other skills that have come in handy for me personally have been painting, crafting, makeup, styling, and overall decorating. Probably other stuff too, just nothing more I can think of off the top of my head.

What is the hardest thing when making a cosplay?

Probably figuring out how things connect. This is the main reason I’m timid when it comes to armor. I’ve been getting better, but I’m still having trouble figuring out how everything attaches and how to put on these kinds of costumes, which is why my Skyrim Elven Armor has been put on hold.

What was the biggest screw up you’ve had making a cosplay?

I’m not sure if I had any major crisis’ when it comes to making cosplays, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of irritating mishaps and mistakes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally sewn the sleeves on a costume inside out about 4 times before I finally got it right.

I’ve cut holes in my clothing, I’ve sewn sleeves on too tight, and I’ve even completed a hat that took hours just for it to wind up being too small when I put a wig on. I guess most of the major issues I’ve had with sewing are measurement issues, so my advice to you is to always measure and try on your costume as you go. Don’t wait until the day of the con to try out your new cosplay.

How often do you injure yourself while making a cosplay?

Not too often, I occasionally prick my finger with my sewing needles, but I haven’t had too many serious injuries. I think the worst was when I slashed my thumb with the exacto-knife when making my first shield for Link. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood.

Do you try to stay cheap or do you splurge on materials?

I am a frugal soul; if I can save, I will. That’s why I thrift so much. However, on a costume I’m really passionate about, I will spend more to ensure the quality. For example, I spent a little more going to a more shimmery material for Royal Guard Link. It cost about $50 for the blue and red material, which to me, is a lot (and that was with coupons). However, the results were 100% worth it. PS, Michaels and Joann’s ALWAYS have coupons. I totally recommend downloading both apps.

I also stand by that with wigs and contacts. I love Arda, their quality is great, but they are more expensive than Amazon. Contacts I don’t mind spending more for as well since the quality is VERY important in this case; they are going on your eyes, after all.

However, as I said, I am absolutely not opposed to going cheap. If you can make it work, make it work. My Nyo!Austria (Hetalia) cosplay came out very cute and it was literally made from bedsheets. From using mostly thrifted and recycled materials, a lot of my cosplays came to around an overall price of around $30. Some of these costumes include Mega Gardevoir (Pokemon), Tomoyo Sakagami (Clannad), Spyro (Spyro the Dragon), and Luan Loud (Loud House.)

Cosplay can be totally affordable, you just have to be creative and think a little outside the box sometimes to make it work.

Have you ever cosplayed with a partner or group?

Yes, a few times. I’d love to do more group cosplays, but we all have to think of something we all like. Luckily, two of my very good friends decided they would dress up as Steven Universe and Amethyst to go with my Pearl this year for Comic-Con and it was such a great experience! I’m trying to convince them to do others as well, such as The Loud House and The Magic School Bus with me as well, haha.

Do you try to act in character?

Always: but I don’t always succeed. It really depends on the character. Pearl I could roleplay for days. It’s probably because I connect so much with her and performing as her doesn’t hurt either. Dee Dee Magno Hall says her favorite lines to say are peoples names, and after giving it a shot myself, I totally see why. I even practiced Garnets “Stronger than you” monologue in Pearl’s voice and tone (in case no one volunteered to sing during our karaoke event) and it always makes my friends laugh.

The characters that stump me a little more are the more serious characters I choose to portray; Link, Laurent, Thranduil (the Hobbit), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), just to name a few. I’m kind of a goofball/airhead so those characters clash with my personality a little bit, but I am getting better. Blue Diamond is surprisingly the easiest of these types to stay in character for.

That being said, I love being the outgoing, oddball characters. Like I said, Pearl is second nature to me, as well as Anna from Frozen. Back in my Hetalia days, Austria and America were my go-to guys. I could act as them forever, and my friends and I literally lived as them for a while with how much we role-played. Most of the Disney Princesses it’s pretty easy for me to stay in character, especially (like I said before) Anna, Sofia the First, and Merida.

How do you react to cosplayers dressed as a character from the same anime/game/etc?

If there are some good character opportunities, I will role-play on the spot, but more often than not I will ask if we could all get a picture together. There were so many fun interactions with other Steven Universe cosplayers when my friends and I did our little group, but one of my favorite interactions was probably when I was dressed as Laurent and I stumbled across a Miriel cosplayer and I just shouted out “MOM! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!”

Do you try to duplicate your character’s expressions, walk, movements, etc?

I can talk the talk (mostly), but I have more trouble walking the walk. I’ve been trying to replicate movements better, but facial expressions I have trouble with (ironic as it’s my favorite part of drawing.) I’m not as photogenic as I’d like to be, as you could probably tell by most of my pictures being the same face, but I definitely am striving to improve on that.

What was your funniest experience of acting in character?

Okay, there’s a lot that I could share, and eventually, I want to do an article solely on cosplay “in-character” experiences, but the one I HAVE to share right now is a recent experience when I was dressed as Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

I was performing at the family day event my church helps out at my pastor’s air force base as Ariel, and after my sing-a-long, my makeup was a little smudged. I asked a volunteer where the restroom was so I could touch up before I headed back out to the crowds. I thought he’d take me to a private restroom, but he brought me to the public one where there were families waiting outside. They noticed and the dad joked “See? Even princesses have to go.” to which I laughed and gave my best Ariel shrug to play along. I went inside, fixed my makeup, and went back outside.

It wasn’t long, so the family was still outside the men’s room. As I walked by, the man’s son shouted out “Ariel, congratulations on going pee-pee!” to which I bursted out laughing. Everyone was. I mean, if you gotta congratulate a princess on using the bathroom, you picked the right one! After that, I did explain that I was just putting on makeup but I appreciated his enthusiasm and thanked him for it.

Do you compete in cosplay contests?

All the time. I love them. Whether I win or lose, I always get something out of it. I learn tips from other cosplayers, get to meet so many interesting people, and those times I do win I get prizes which is always nice as well. Most importantly, though, the memories that are made there are the very best part.

Have you won anything?

I have won quite a few. I have three trophies, a medal, a few certificates, and have won a cash prize as well. My first win was my second convention as Kabuto where I won the best novice trophy. My most recent win was for Ravio in August of 2019 with best in show. It’s amazing, I never thought I would get this far, but I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been a part of.

Again, it’s totally not about winning, but I’ll admit that it does feel really nice to have my hard work appreciated. Just as drawing, I still feel like I have a lot of room for improvement in my cosplay, so winning a few contests here and there definitely helps my low self-esteem.

Do you prefer skits or walk-ons?

I’ve only ever done walk-ons. I’ve never had anyone to do a skit with and I don’t think I could pull one off on my own. I’d love to do one eventually, but for now, our panels are good enough.

How many friends have you made because of cosplay?

Quite a lot. My Instagram is full of cosplayers I’ve met at conventions and I love seeing their cosplays and drawings, it’s all so inspiring!

Do you attend photoshoots and meet-ups outside of conventions?

Occasionally. I’ve never done a professional photoshoot (though one day I’d like to,) but I have attended a few meetups. I’ve done one for Steven Universe, Once Upon a Time, Disney, and I actually accidentally walked into a Fire Emblem: Awakening one dressed as Laurent, so that worked out.

What is the funniest reaction you’ve gotten cosplaying from people outside of the community?

The best one was when I was dressed as Link and my friend and I were on the subway. There was a mom and her kid sitting across from us and she pointed to me and said to her child, “Look, an elf! You see? Santa’s got his helpers out all year round, so you have to be good!”

I also had another wonderful experience outside of a con dressed as Link, though it’s not as funny but more just a sweet memory. It’s quite a bit, but luckily I’ve already written about it for Zelda Universe so I’ll just link it here for anyone who’s interested. 

Name a few cosplays you’re planning to do next:

I’ve got to get Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) done soon. I’ve been wanting to do this cosplay forever and I did start it, but I need to finally finish it. Dimitri (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) is also on my list to do next. Not sure about who else I want to do for sure, but some ideas that have floated around in my head have been Tilly Green (Big City Greens), Anna with her Frozen 2 look, Princess Peach (Super Mario), and a Thalmor Mage (Skyrim.)

What is your dream cosplay?

Princess Zelda from Twilight Princess. I’m still too scared to try to cosplay her. I bought a cheap starter costume that I was going to build off of and it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted, so I put it off again. One day I’ll feel confident enough to make her costume, but until then I’m totally satisfied with my Link cosplays.

What do you take into consideration when picking a character to cosplay?

Honestly, I just have to love them as a character and the costume itself has to seem do-able. I mean, I’m totally not opposed to buying cosplays if I really want to be a particular character, but like I said, making it means all the more to me. It’s my display of affection towards that character, the creators behind them, and the series as a whole.

Is cosplay serious business for you?

Yes and no. No because I don’t do it for money, likes, or internet fame. I do it because it’s fun and what I like to do. Yes because I go all out when I cosplay. I do everything I can to get the look the way I want it and I put my blood, sweat, and tears into it when I make them by hand. 

What is your favorite thing about cosplay?

Everything: Dressing up as a character I love, roleplaying them, taking photos, just everything! I would do it more often if I could!

How do you want to grow as a cosplayer?

I want to learn how to make more. I want to build armor, I want to learn new makeup and hairstyling techniques, and so much more. I’m happy where I am, but I know I can be better. I will watch others and learn from them and push myself to try new things!

Are you willing to answer questions and help other cosplayers?

Absolutely! I may not be a top dog of cosplaying, but if I can help someone with something I’ve learned along the way, I’m more than happy to help!

Writing

When did you start writing?

I started in middle school as well, I used to write a Nintendo fan fiction called “The Kirby Show,” where Kirby and his friends would get into wacky sitcom scenarios. They were really just knock-offs of the television shows I used to watch back in the day, but hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.

As for my original writing, I started that more in high school. I still wrote a lot of fan fiction at that point, but I was starting to develop my own characters as well. I thought it about time to think of my own creations, and I did. I remember I was in my Godmother’s car when I thought of the main three characters and since then the cast has expanded so much, their stories are much better developed, and the lore is much more solid.

When you were a beginning writer, what did you write primarily? What do you write now, primarily?  (i.e. romance, fan-fiction, poetry)

As mentioned before, I started out writing stories about characters that were not my own. Now I do all original writing — well, aside from my work at Zelda Universe. There I get to write about all the unique aspects of one of my favorite game series of all time, so there’s that as well. Writing there has helped me start writing little fandom topical posts for my own blog, such as top 10’s, reviews, and other things along those lines. 

How often do you write?

I make it a habit to try and write at least a half-hour a day. If I’m really on a roll, I could write up to a few hours a day before I get burnt out. Even though I’m not always writing, I’m always developing the stories in my head. 

When is your favorite time of the day to write?

I always write a half hour before I go to bed. The later it is, the more ideas keep rolling in. With my early hours for work now it’s harder to stay up late, but that doesn’t stop the ideas. I just gotta push myself a little harder to start earlier to have more time before I need to go to bed. 

Do you have a writing muse? If so, who/what?

Not in particular. I always just write about what I like and incorporate different aspects of my life into it. I guess I’m my own muse in that sense? I don’t know. I just write what I do know. 

What is your most popular lit piece?

Out of all my public pieces, I’d say either my “Animal Crossing Diaries” series or my “Endless Ocean” screenplay. “Vagabond” gets some decent attention as well, which is nice, but honestly, I’d be happy if there was just one person enjoying my work, so I really can’t complain. 

What is the piece you are currently writing?

Out of my public blog works, “Vagabond,” from my Zelda Universe collection I’m working on a character piece on Colin from Twilight Princess. 

What is the piece you most recently finished?

On my blog that would be my “Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Characters” list. For Zelda Universe, it’s actually a piece about Fire Emblem as well — It was DS week, I could write about whatever DS game I wanted to, of course I have to sneak in some Fire Emblem.

What piece are you most proud of?

While “Vagabond” definitely needs some more work, out of all the pieces I’ve posted publicly, that one is the one I am the proudest of. If anything just for Kurt and Maerwynn. They are two of my favorite characters to play around with and I’m so happy that somehow I was allowed to think these two up.

In my more private works, my fantasy story is my pride and joy. I feel so blessed to have been able to come up with these characters, and I do hope that someday I will be able to share them, whether on a television screen as I’ve always dreamed of in a novel of some sort. One day, maybe. 

What piece are you most disappointed in?

It’s not so much disappointment, but rather I’ve grown so much in my work, it’s very hard for me to look back at my first romance story. It’s a little cheesy and the dialogue is a bit clunky, some of the actions that my characters had performed totally go against what their characters have become now after spending a lot more time with them. It’s something I would love to revisit and maybe even go public with, but it’s going to take a lot of work. 

From all of your stories, who is/are your favorite character(s) and why? (try to limit it to 3)

Since I only published “Vagabond” online, I’ll stick to characters from this story in particular.

Maerwynn is definitely a favorite because she’s got a lot of qualities that I wish I was bold enough to enact myself. She speaks her mind without a care of what anyone else will think, even if it’s blatantly rude. She goes for her goals, even if they may seem ridiculous, and she pursues them with great passion and ferocity. Even with this rough and tough exterior, she’s still got a softer side that she’s just discovering in her new life at the palace. Now, I wouldn’t ever recommend being like Maerwynn ALL the time, but there’s definitely is a time and place where we could all be a little bit more like her, I think. Her confidence is the thing I admire most about her.

Kurt I connect with as well. Again, he says all the things that we all wish we could get away with at one point or another, but he knows he can because he’s royalty. However, he’s got so much going on underneath the surface as well with the complications of his past. He’s learning to open up, connect with others, and understand his feelings. Despite feeling restricted by the laws of his kingdom and the traditions of the royal family, he finds his own way to feel free and be himself. 

What is the best compliment you ever got on your writing?

My best friend who I’ve been sharing these stories with for as long as we’ve known each other told me the nicest thing not to long ago. I always laugh at myself for going so crazy in-depth with the lore and characters of my fantasy world, but she told me how she’s admired that and the love and care I put into each little thing was what made it so great. It really meant the world to me to hear that and I can’t thank her enough for all the love and support throughout the years! 

What is your main goal in writing?

I don’t know if there’s one main goal in particular, but I suppose if I had to pick just one, it would be to show good through the works of my characters and hope and pray that it inspires others to be like them. Kindness is growing scarce in the world, and if I can just inspire a little bit of it in someone, I suppose that’s all I can ask for. 

Have you ever been published?

No, but I am aiming for it. Once I complete Vagabond, give it another revise myself, and hopefully find an editor to give it another look over, I’d love to find someone to publish my book or even self publish on a platform like Amazon. Just something to get my work out there.

Questions asked by you

Who is an artist that you look up to? There are a few artists online that I follow who I just adore their work. Three that come to mind in particular are Bianca Roman-Stumpff, Bellhenge, and TheStarfishFace. Their art is so different from mine, but I think that’s probably why I love it so much (if that makes sense?)  They each have such a unique style and great subject material, I highly recommend giving them a look!

What did you think of “Frozen 2”?

I loved it. No secret that I’m a huge Frozen fan, so I was bound to like it. I was actually really nervous about how it was going to end, but I can say (without spoilers) that I am 100% satisfied with how it concluded. Also, Kristoff finally gets the spotlight that he deserves, thank you, Disney.

However, as much as I did love it, I do totally admit I do see flaws in it that could have been improved on. That being said, there was that in the first movie too and I stilled loved it. The characters have enough charm to keep the film entertaining throughout and I just adore them!

What does your family think of your art?

My parents have always encouraged me about my art and I know my grandmother loves it; I gave her a sweater with the art she liked of mine last Christmas and my mom says she wears it all the time. The rest of my family knows and supports my art as well, I  never really had any issue with my small art business and the family.

Any memorable cosplay experiences at a con?

So many. I’ve shared a few before, but I think I’d like to make a whole article on the great cosplay experiences I’ve had! There are so many to talk about and stories to share.

Is there a type of art that you would like to get into? I’ve seen a lot of people doing wood carving and burning, but that looks insanely difficult.

I’ve actually been considering wood burning, haha! It does look difficult, that’s why I’ve been hesitant, but maybe in the future I’d give it a shot. I think they’d make my Skyrim wood pieces look legit.

I’m really up for trying anything. If money wasn’t a thing, I’d have tried a lot more by now. In the future, I’d love to try needlepoint as well! 

Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity. Welcome all! If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do.

[erynalicia]

This weekend, I had the great pleasure to meet the man that inspired my character Alexander Bronwyn from Falling for Hope, actor Adam Croasdell.

Adam Croasdell – a man of many talents

Adam Croasdell as Eccarius – Preacher _ Season 3, Episode 6 – Photo Credit: Alfonso Bresciani/AMC/Sony Pictures Television

Reign Episode 408 “Uncharted Waters Trailer” (screen grab) CR: The CW

Adam is best known for his acting on stage, television, and film; as well as voice acting for a video games and cartoons. I met him through social media about three years ago when he introduced himself to the Once Upon A Time fandom as “Papa Hook” (Captain Hook’s estranged, dastardly father). Incredibly friendly and tweetative (talkative), he and I hit it off. I happened to just be finishing Falling for Phoenix and desperate to go right into the next story. I had a loose plot but no particulars until Adam starting tweeting about what life on the seas with little Killian and Liam Jones would be like. Somehow that triggered my thoughts into seeing him play a father to young children.

My tweet to Adam with the buds of plot thoughts in my head. Oct. 27, 2015 – notice his icon is the gold triangle and he’d liked it.

My bud of a plan about a man searching for his birth family in order to find a blood marrow donor for his son suddenly had a father figure –Adam.

I wrote him back then about my idea and asked if he minded if I based this character after him. He was honored, and the book was written.

But after all this time with notes back and forth, becoming online friends, and professional colleagues we had never met… that is until this past Saturday afternoon, February 16, 2019.

I caught my first glimpse of the back of his head walking into one of the convention’s room where he was going to do a panel on acting and voice acting, and decided to peek around the corner to see where he had gone in the room. He was sitting in a chair behind the other guests finishing up the panel in session. I waited. Then as the guests began to file out, I started in.

He didn’t see me at first, then looked over his shoulder as perhaps my presence was felt. With a big smile on his face, he said, “Eryn, I was wondering when I’d see you,” and immediately stood from his chair with open arms. We clasped each other in a long awaited embrace, laughing with glee for finally meeting each other. He wasn’t some fancy-dancy television star; not a voice actor with the most perfect baritone British accent… he was my friend and even more so — he was my Alexander Bronwyn in real life. I was more than elated.

After pleasantries and compliments, Adam asked if my husband and son came with me. I said, “Just my son,” and called Cameron in.

With a big handshake and rich baritone British accent he said, “Cameron, nice to meet you, mate.” (I did giggle a little then over the fact that he called my son mate… probably the only fangirl thing I did).

Adam spoke with Cam a bit about video games and the convention. When the conversation turned to how long did the drive take and who else we liked here, we could honestly say, “We only know you.”

Adam was genuinely touched. It was then I could tell him how important his being was to me seeing he was the reason my character my created. Now, as I’ve discussed on my website before and now with Adam, I had a very rough time in losing my precious Marley last October. My motivation was shot, my creative ideas were gone, any concentration I had was lost; I honestly didn’t know if continuing writing was possible for me. Seeing a character of mine in flesh and blood was important to my healing but what I didn’t expect was the uplifting motivation Adam gave to me from one professional in a tough career to another.

From the long table that sat before the audience of cosplayers and comic enthusiasts, Adam introduced me as his friend, and published author. He went on to tell the room how important writing is as a craft. “Acting is wonderful,” he said with grandiose bravado, “But writing… ahh, there you have all those thoughts and words down on paper and you can pass them across a desk and say, ‘not only am I an actor, but I am a writer as well.'”

He continued to say hone your craft, keep working, keep improving and never ever give up. Don’t leave an unfinished job as it is detrimental to the psyche. Such wonderful, uplifting words not just for me, but everyone to hear.

Later, during the autograph session, Adam was a love and signed a few things for me, including the dedication page of Falling for Hope, and happily posed for a few photographs with the book included. I won’t share what he wrote inside that book, because it is very touching and special to only me, but let’s just say it is a day and a character that I will never forget, and my dreams will never die. You will see more from this author… a lot more.

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Meeting Alexander Bronwyn aka Adam Croasdell This weekend, I had the great pleasure to meet the man that inspired my character Alexander Bronwyn from…

[nimuulap]

[ 5 things I enjoy about myself ]

tagged by the lovely @yuuris-piano ! <3

My stubbornness; honestly man, without if I wasn’t as stubborn as I am right now, I wouldn’t be an artist and I wouldn’t have accomplished so much. I’m grateful that I have the ability to hang on even when I really want to give up or when it feels like I’m up against the world. I see a lot of amazing people let go of projects or just don’t continue something because they’ve given up and don’t feel like they can do it;;; and when I was younger, I didn’t understand why because not giving up just seemed like a simple concept for me back then. Now that I’m older, I understand what those people went through and how it must have hurt, but at the same time, I want to learn from those experiences and keep fighting in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish! <3

My friends and family; asdfjk; i love them TTOTT I can’t begin to describe how grateful I am to have ended up in such an environment with so many supportive and wonderful people ;v;;; Even if I sometimes hate what my parents do or if we end up fighting, in the end, it gets resolved. On top of that, it’s because of our flaws that I’m able to become stronger. You don’t want to live in an environment that’s toooo strict, but it can’t be tooo laid-back. My family fits in the middle :’D My friends are honestly such blessings;;; both online and in real life;;; There’s been so many times I’ve felt down, but they were there to bring me back up. In recent years, I’ve started to doubt myself more, but they’re the ones who reassure me constantly without knowing that they’re doing it :’> sometimes even just talking to them about my thoughts just makes my life so much better. And they write the sweetest birthday cards?? Like some of them are writing novels in tiny little cards asdfjk; and I’m just so touched whenever they tell me how much I’ve done for them (so I write essays as well in birthday cards because they need to know how much they mean to me adsjfk). I would be still in doubt about going into animation if it weren’t for my friends and family. I’d still be in doubt or maybe stuck with my current doujin if it weren’t for the friends that kept telling me that I can do it :’>

Character development?? I just feel like everything happened for a reason. I entered high school all optimistic and enthusiastic, then I fell apart after a year, but then I was “reborn” after watching yuri on ice and just interacting with a fandom again :’> I just feel like I’ve become stronger as a person in these past few years. It wasn’t an easy journey, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I learned how to be more confident, more grateful and happier.

Experience; adsfjk; this sounds so weird but whenever I’m put in a certain art environment, whether it’s at school in art class, or at a local drawing thing, I feel confident just because of my experiences. My free time is only made up of drawing, and just having the experience with commissions, different drawing tasks, conventions, zines and other art-related events or projects... I just makes you feel a bit special on the inside because not everyone gets to experience all of those :’> And it’s not only drawing; it’s coding, layout, posters, graphic design, music videos and just a lot of different projects. One that I’ll never forget was when I had to create an illustrated music video for improvised piano and god that was difficult. It took me such a long time to think of a story, and I just can’t work with piano jazz sometimes adsfjkl;;;; but in the end, the person who hired me was happy with the outcome, and I even got interviewed a few months later ;v;;; So wherever I am, I feel confident about my skills (most of the time??) because of that foundation. Usually, that confidence has an effect on my drawings as well (more confident lines, i’m calm when drawing, etc.)

My social skills; I used to be that really annoying kid in elementary school who also complained about having no friends... So I’m surprised to be where I am now. In most environments, I know how to act in order to get on people’s good sides... But I don’t do it all the time because there’s some people that I’d prefer not be on their good sides ahaha :> Nonetheless, I’m still kind of awkward around some people that I don’t talk to often. But in general, I’m nowhere near concerned about having no friends. I also don’t encounter friendship problems now anymore, and I no longer have any “fake friends”, so I’m pretty happy with where I ended up in my social life! So happy I don’t even notice or remember the mean people ahaha

[avelera]

Some musings on fanfiction literary trends, fandom, and the evolution of online culture (as seen in 15+ years of Tolkien-based fanfic from The Lord of the Rings to The Hobbit films) 

Reading 15-year-old Lord of the Rings fic is absolutely wild because the prose style for fanfic has changed so much during the intervening years. There was a huge focus back then (~2002) on mimicking Tolkien’s style with elevated language, a lack of phobia over using the passive voice, and otherwise formal “epic” dialogue patterns. 

At times it’s a bit hard for me to read, because my inner editor voice wants to rearrange sentences and remove “on the nose” description and dialogue (explicitly saying what the character is or is not thinking/saying like “He spoke nothing of his fears, which were great.”)*

It got me thinking about fashions in prose. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this style, just as there’s nothing inherently “wrong” about 19th c. romantic purple prose vs 20th c. spare, Hemingway-esque thriller prose. Yet writers and teachers of writing delight in creating long lists of what should and should not be done as if they’re ironclad laws of physics rather than extremely subjective matters of taste and changing times.

But back to fanfic, I’m fascinated by the unspoken linguistic trends that pervade fandom, from phrases ( “he smelled of X, and Y, and something all his own”), to aversion to adverbs, to casual vs elevated tone. Even tropes like A/B/O are fascinating in how they spread from niche fetish communities to fandoms that aren’t even tangental to one another, and from there become vehicles for dialogue on matters of society, gender, sexuality, and even history. The pace is rapid, less than a few years ago in The Hobbit community I observed that fanfic writers needed to make some sort of author note in the margin if there was a trans* or gender queer main character, in order to clarify that aspect of the story to unfamiliar readers. Today, such fics hardly need a disclaimer at all because the issue is so much more widely understood, this wider awareness seeming to rise in rough parallel with the IRL fight for trans* rights. Similarly, fifteen years ago in the Lord of the Rings fandom a story that contained slash of any kind (even if they lacked any form of explicit sexual scene) would often contain long, agonized explanations as to why these characters were “just friends” if it made the reader more comfortable, or that the chapter containing a slash sex scene was skippable if it made fans of Tolkien’s work uncomfortable. 

Another trend is the evolution of the acceptance of the Mary Sue. Again, 15 years ago in the Lord of the Rings fandom, it was possibly the most reviled concept out there. “Tenth member of the Fellowship” “Girl falls into Middle Earth” were easy and constant targets of ridicule. The frustration was somewhat understandable, given that at one point I remember counting the first 10 pages of Fanfiction.net, and at the time and fully 60% of the new stories involved a female self-insert character into what was inevitably the film universe. Fans of the book often fled to make their own archives where such stories were explicitly forbidden unless the reached a certain level of prose quality. One of the most popular comedy series was of partnered assassins who would “jump in” to various fanfic universes and waylay Mary Sues before they could make contact with the main characters (all tongue in cheek, I remember adoring these self-aware self-inserts as a teenager). 

Nowadays, I’d venture to say that level of vitriol towards Mary Sues is falling out of favor. I personally still struggle with reading any sort of self-insert fanfic, or any OC fanfic in general, which is a psychological leftover from developing as a reader and writer during that era. But I’ve observed that, like with slash, acceptance has grown and Mary Sues are now defended in a “live and let live” manner. Certainly I would rather avoid reading a Mary Sue fic by a new writer, but I wholly support their writing efforts and see it as an important step in their development as writers. 

For younger fans, you have to understand, this level of basic tolerance was not always the norm. If you’re puzzled by people asking readers not to “flame” it’s because in the early 2000s it wasn’t uncommon for trolls to go into fanfiction comment sections just to send insulting messages to the author for the very idea of their story, to the extent that authors would have to beg in the notes “don’t like, don’t read”. "Don’t like, don’t read” has largely become an unspoken rule of fanfic as a result. (Though Tumblr has removed some of that tolerance, in my view, by the way dashboards work putting “objectionable” content in front of people’s eyes through the clusterfuck of a tagging system.) This evolution runs roughly parallel to the fading of legal “disclaimers” which were once necessary at the top of fics, as fanfic has gained wider acceptance and the need to defend oneself legally online against aggressive authors and creators has vanished in all but the most extreme copyright violation examples.

The greatest change in fanfic in the last decade+ though is without question the acceptance and then the prevalence of slash. It has gone from a small and passionate, but often disdained, niche group--that was seen by some as a fetish culture akin to furries or BDSM, with its own fan conventions--to practically the norm of fanfiction (at least on AO3, which is also relatively new and signaled a huge fundamental shift in the way fanfic is consumed online). I vividly remember in my early days of LotR fanfic seeing the passionate slash fans “over there” and how they were seen as a totally separate, rabid subculture rather than as part of the “mainstream” fandom community. Now, I would say they are the mainstream in fandom.

Meanwhile, “Gen” has gone from the more “respected” “elevated” subgenre to a struggling one. Again, to specify, this is based on my observations of changes in the Tolkien fandom spanning the LotR to The Hobbit film period, and a US-centric one at that. Het fics are still thriving, where I’ve observed a closer linguistic parallel to the language and tropes seen in popular romance novels than I necessarily see in slash fanfic, though there is bleed through. Het is no longer the accepted default along the lines of “canon relationships” that it was 10 years ago, i.e you didn’t even need to tag for romance if it was a het story with the usual main pairings, it just meant you were writing "canon adjacent” works.

It’s curious to watch these changes in fanfiction, as I daresay they mirror the changes seen in the literary world over the past 200+ years, the only difference really is how fluid and fast these changes are. A year online feels like a decade compared to IRL literary trends, and it has also been fascinating to watch what I perceive to be the bleed-through of ideas that fandom has been batting around for years entering the mainstream. For example, the growing acceptance of same-sex relationships in fiction, and a growing comfort with female-led stories with a push back against the automatic knee-jerk accusation of “Mary Sue” as a bad thing. It’s hard to say which came first, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that fanfic played at least a small part in the wider cultural acceptance.

[frankensteined]

i tried writing this last night, but kept tripping over what i wanted to say, because i’ve got so much to say about this show and this fandom that i could go on and on for ages and never say enough. 

i’ve lived just shy of two hours outside of toronto for my entire life, and i’ve been there more times than i can count, for more reasons than i can count, but one of those reasons, at least, has been the big conventions that happen annually: toronto comicon in march, and fanexpo at the end of summer. back in 2013, it was at one of those events that i first found out about this show that was going to end up being one of Those Shows that was going to stick with me for the rest of my life. the space channel booth can always be counted on to hand out free stuff promoting its hits and up and coming new programs, and after having a few free buttons with sarah, felix, and paul’s faces on them pushed into my hands, the gal behind the booth encouraged me to check out the show without actually...telling me much about it. 

“it’s cool! it’s sci-fi! it’s made here, in toronto!” was pretty much all she’d give me.

i didn’t know that it was a clone show, guys. i had no idea what i was getting into. but, it was made practically next door to me, with a cast that was predominantly canadian, and i was curious, so i checked it out. 

and then i spent the next two seasons trying to convince all my friends and family members and neighbours and co-workers and probably even my mail carrier to watch this show that i’d fallen completely in love with.  

speaking as a canadian, it can be really, really hard to get your fellow canadians to give canadian-made programs a chance. let’s face it: compared to US and british made shows, we just don’t have the most reputable library to choose from. we’ve always had incredible talent up here, but that talent usually had to end up migrating across the border in order to make a name for themselves. it used to be that, if you wanted to convince a canadian to seriously give a canadian-made show a chance, you’d need to lure them in with a promise like “you should watch (show title!) it’s made up here, and it’s got (insert actor here that starred in a canadian made show from your childhood that you have nostalgic fondness for) in it!” and even that wouldn’t be a sure sale. i can’t count the number of amused “oh yeah?”s i got when i’d tell people that this amazing show that i was recommending to them was a canadian thing. the rule was: stuff gets filmed up here all the time, but it doesn’t often get to be here and still be good.

that’s never. going to be a thing. again. 

because of this show - because of the story that it’s been telling, and the characters that it’s given us, and the actors that it’s put on our screen, and the crew behind the scenes - no one is going to be able to doubt what canadian talent can do in canada. the show has paved ways for so many others up here to be taken seriously, to reach the audience they deserve, and that’s just never gonna be something that i’m not consistently blown away by.

i like to say that there’s “toronto before orphan black” and there’s “toronto after orphan black”. before, i just went there, got swallowed up into the city, and then went home when i was done. but now, having had seasons and seasons to go “hey, i know that place!” while watching the show, recognizing stuff that had been right next door to me all along, and finding myself walking around the city and spotting locations that appeared in the show, it’s given me a sense of home and kinship that i had never felt before with a tv series. it wasn’t just the characters themselves that had become so important to me, it was the entire city, and i just feel that little bit closer to it all every time i venture on back to toronto.   (i still get swallowed up by the city, though. i’m bad with directions.)

and that’s not even covering just what this show has meant on a global scale. i officially slid into the fandom during the s2 hiatus, after having run out of people nearby to badger into watching it. being part of this fandom has elevated the show’s theme of family in such a beautiful way for me. over the years, i’ve had so many people move from being just usernames and ‘like’s on a post to being people that i truly don’t want to be without in the future. i’ve watched people discover and become the best versions of themselves because of this show, and i’ve spent hours, well past everyone’s bed times, laughing and raging and crying with friends i’ve made through clone club, all on our favourite characters’ behalf. i’ve been able to send holiday cards to friends i’ve made all over the world because of this show! the art and the writing and the cosplay and the music that’s been produced by this fandom over the years blows my mind!  this show has been both formative and transformative for so, so many people in so, so many ways.

i don’t know who i’d be without orphan black, but i do know who i am because of it, and i like that person. and the show’s told me that it’s okay to like that person. 

to the friends i’ve made: you know who you are, and you know that i love you. i’ll always be grateful to this show for helping me find you in this big, messy world. 

to john & graeme: even when i’ve joked about wanting to fight you over you hurting this character that i love or making that character that i love cry or what have you, it all is coming from a place of love, and this show wouldn’t exist without you. thank you so much for so many years.  

to tat, kathryn, ari, jordan, kevin, maria, kristian, evelyne, josh, skyler, cynthia (*DEEP BREATH*) lauren, zoe, kyra, calwyn, james frain, rosemary dunsmore, matt frewer (ohmygodiammissingsomanypeoplei’msosorry), to ALL the cast from seasons’ past:  just. thank you. i love you all and can’t wait to be introduced to new and exciting projects through you in the future.

to the rest of clone club, even if we’ve never chatted directly: you’ve been The Very Best, and recognizing you both online and in real life makes the world feel a little bit cozier.  

@orphanblack, thank you.

[plaidstiel-wormstache]

Asylum18

My Experience at MY FIRST EVER CON!

Hey all,

So I’ve been away a few weeks, but now I’m back! And this past weekend (12-14 May) I was at Asylum 18 in Blackpool with my supernatural family!

It was an epic adventure and I loved every second of it!

If you’d like to read about it - click on keep reading, if not, and you just want photos, I’ll create another post! Just FYI - it’s flippin long, I do apologise.

THURSDAY I woke up, pumped, tired, but pumped, and picked up my hire car. Headed to the airport to pick up the first member of the fambam! She’d arrived from Germany and was overwhelmed! It was an easy 1hr and a bit drive to our hotel - where we did end up parking in the wrong area, but ... adventures! Then I ferried more of my family from the station to the hotel, in two lots. Now we’re all together, all checked in. Blah blah - met up with more family, had fish and chips for tea and just chatted about how excited we were for our weekend to start.

FRIDAY We had more family arrive, and now our group was complete. Today was registration, lots of lines, lots of waiting, perfecting the art of snake queues and figuring out where each member of the group were. By the time me and twinsie (a lady named Carolyn who thinks a little too much like me!) passed through registration, added extras and picked up our pre-orders - we’d probably passed 3 or more hours. Rookie moves were made by not packing water, so we then indulged in slushee’s after we’d passed out the other end of that mammoth queue. She checked in to her room, and we were taking a breather when we got the tweet - autos were happening. ARGH! So we met back up and headed straight to autos. I have a pillow case that I was getting signed - we started with Mark P (who was lovely and the only person who commented on the badges on my jacket - he liked). Moved on to Kim - the loveliest person ever, she looked stunned when I told her to have a good day, she told me to have a good one too! Then Lauren, who is just so precious. She thought I’d made the pillow case and was saying how smart and talented I am ... bless her, I had to say I’d clicked a button online and it showed up on my doorstep! Katherine Ramdeen was oh so sweet, had me wishing I had bought an op with her, she was so nice and genuine. The line for Briana and Osric were very long, so we went over to Chad, he was quirky, very sweet and kind though. Then we went to the line for Briana, and they closed the doors for autos, so phew we’d got in in time. Briana was oh so special! She told me to enjoy myself, and we’d moved on by the time I could think, and oh what a thought - kicking myself I didn’t say “often do!” And last but definitely not least, Osric. He was all smiles and happiness and the sun just shines outta that man. He was sweet AF, liked the pillow case and said he hoped I enjoyed the weekend, as I had wished him a fun one. That night most of us had dinner together, then separated and washed up for “the party” that night. Twinsie and I cosplayed (my first ever). We dressed as Howard and Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory - made funnier by the fact that I was taller than her and the blonde wig was just ... wigging me out! Everyone loved our costumes! But it was an early night as we were tired from queuing all day.

SATURDAY! I was up early at 0630 and showered and ready for breakfast by 0745. I went down the hall to a friends room and we had breakfast together in the hotel. Then stood in the queue (oh yes, another) for the main hall where the panel would take place. Myself and two new friends followed Jensen (no, not that Jensen. Yes, it was fun yelling his name and watching people turn round so fast whiplash was inevitable) into the hall, then realised he was up with the diamonds, and we were the cheapies. So we found seats at the back and got comfy for the rest of the day, practically! - First up with their panel was Kim and Briana - Adam Rose and Chris Gauthier were our co-hosts. The ladies were inspiring and brilliant and had alot to say about their characters, how they wished we would get to see more of them - so to keep an eye out for an upcoming side work! And Kim was very clear that Jodie was hers whilst she was in front of a camera, when she had a script, but then Jodie became ours to do what we will with her, that she supports all the creativity and ideas people have about Jodie, and that she encourages us to keep going, and even send her stuff! - Fifteen min break, then Adam and David - our beloved BMoL men. They said they were nervous but they looked like they were in their element. There were times where they would both keep saying “I’m sure this is boring, but I gotta tell ya real quick...” bless them - nothing you say will bore us! One of the questions was about their most embarassing job they’d ever taken. Adam said his had to be a stage play where he had the role of a gay male, had nude scenes and there was a lot of kissing the same sex. Apparently his sister was mortified when she went to see it and his Dad shook his hand and said “there was a lot of kissing in that!”, but his mum was proud. And David’s job was at a convention where he was dressed as a member of Devo and listened to Whip It nine hours straight for two days, and had to dance and stick stickers on people who came through the doors - he gave us a song and dance as example, much whistling happened! - Chad, Katherine Ramdeen, Chris and Adam Rose were up next. The boys were up there a while without Kat as she was still doing photo’s. I ran out to get Alaina’s auto at some point - SO SWEET, love her and she appreciated that I liked her daughters painting art that she posts on instagram. The four of them were actually quite interesting and sweet, although when I came back in Kat was talking about how she’d synced up with Kathryn on set, the boys then started making fun of her - not happy bout that, but there’s nothing I can do about that. - Misha ... and of course they posted a vague tweet about photo ops, maybe one I had, so I rushed out (knowing my seat was safe). Not my photo op, so I went back to my seat. Then Mark S autos were called, so I ran off again (my row is not too impressed by now). I get to autos and Mark is gone ... BUT Adam Rose and others were there and I have a ticket for him, so I text my friend with my bag, and ask her to pass back my wallet with all the tickets (as opposed to climbing back over everyone). David Haydn-Jones’s was very kind and said he was enjoying his second con so much and is impressed by all the love that this fandom has to offer and was surprised when I said I was from Aus but relieved when I said I’d moved so I hadn’t come up just for this! Adam Fergus didn’t have a lot of people at his table and he was brilliant, again enjoying his second con and loving the people he’s coming across. No one was at Adam’s desk so I got his autograph and got to have a lovely conversation with him. He was genuinely amazed that I had brought up his travels and loved following along on Insta and that I remembered that he had a dog and then we were talking about his pup, and then he said I should check out his youtube for more traveling. Then I was back to Misha’s panel. LUNCH (this is getting long, apologies, I’ll start paraphrasing). - So Osric and Lauren’s panel was first after lunch, but I was at Alaina’s photo op, again, she’s so sweet and said she hopped she got my request right - I’d asked for a raised eyebrow... she nailed it! Then returned to the LOsric panel, they are both darling. - Mark P and Alaina were up next, they were actually great up there together. Not a packed house, but a lot of questions and they had a great laugh together. - Mark S... he’s hilarious. He walked around the whole auditorium, he was rude and sassy and sarcastic and just brilliant. People were handing him chocolate bars and I was worrying cause I had Tim Tam’s for him (well his wife, heaven knows they didn’t get back to her!). He walked right behind me and was answering a question as I shook the packet at him. He smiled like it was christmas day and I’d given the best present. He then collected something else from the other side of the hall and went up to the stage, sat down and asked if there were any Aussie’s in the audience. I was the only WOO and he laughed, ripped into the Tim Tams, bit the top and bottom off one and picked up his tea. I was the only one to cheer, then he used it as a straw and then ate the whole thing. I screamed out “YOU’RE WELCOME”! That night my roomies were like - was that you? Yep uhuh thought so! - Hillywood were up next - but I was gone. I like their parody - but that’s all I’ve seen of them, and that’s not enough to keep me in my seat. Me and roomies got pizza, I drove out and picked it all up. Then I wandered down the hall to Jensen’s room to watch Eurovision. Jason Mann’s was performing that night and Briana made a surprise appearance (that Alaina pretty much said she was doing then sent her a text while in her panel). It was a fun night with a small room packed with nine people then eventually eleven.

SUNDAY Today was BUSY AF. I was back and forth and that hotel is spread out! Sat through the Mark P and Alaina panel to start my day then I went back to the room to get rid of some stuff out of my bag, use the loo, then as I reached the main hall Mark S was walking in front of me, he was slow and I wanted to go around him, but I was headed to his photo op, so why not stay behind him. But when I reached the room, they called all groups for Misha... - So in I go, Misha (it was go go go, I asked for an awkward prom photo, he spun me around and it turned into a weird pregnancy photo). - Had my Mark S photo, he was himself! But when I got up there with another packet of Tim Tams he smiled and said “I still have my other packet!” I said he better! And then explained I wanted to do it like a Tim Tam advert, he pulled me in close, it’s my fave picture. Then as I was leaving and after I’d said thank you, he said you better eat them and not share them! - Mark P was up next, I asked for a hug but with bunny ears, he was so tall I couldn’t reach, so it looks like I’m trying to grab his hair, but it’s a good photo. Left my copy there as the printers were jam packed, but headed over to... - Lauren and Osric, they were were the cutest and sweetest, and not many people were there for the duo so they were really taking their time with each person. I asked for an awkward family photo with the weird hands on hips and odd faces. Osric shotgunned back and Lauren was confused, but it’s my second fave photo, it turned out so well! - FINALLY got my Misha auto, I got to the desk and said “You’re doing an amazing job, not just here at con, but everywhere... in life.” And he looked at me as if I was the first person to ever tell him that and he said “Thank you so much.” Like it meant to world to him. And then I had to go and have a moment in my room (no not like that!) cause I didn’t expect for that to hit me like it did - but I could say that to you and I’d have the same reaction. (yeah YOU). Got changed, packed away the pillow case, reorganised my bag, went downstairs, got lunch (before the massive lines started) then joined my friends in the hall for Mark S’s panel - more walking around, more brutal than yesterday, just hilarious. LUNCH... - Had my Kim and Briana op, my friends (mum and daughter) in front of me had theirs first, they did the YMCA and it was BRILLIANT, Bri stood the wrong way round for the C then got it right, then was cautious to not have her arm in Dawn’s face. Then I asked for a sandwich but with faces that said someone smelt like BO - great photo! - Back to the hall to wait for my group to get called for Adam and David. Kat, Chad, Adam and Chris were up on stage when I got there, and only had two more people in line to ask questions and still had half an hour to go, so I thought I’d get up to save from being awward. I wrote out a question for Kat (as everyone had questions for Chad and Adam...) then Dawn said “ask them what their fave cheeses are”! A lot of waiting, i was last question, and just skipped the Kat question went right for the cheese. Kat was real animated cause I mentioned that she was Vegan so my friend Dawn was wondering ... it was a good last question, they all got a kick out of it! - THEN ADAM AND DAVID!!!! There was a long line, but they were giving each person a good amount of time with them, making them all feel special. I asked for a smushy hug, and it was heaven. You’ll see i got a little possessive. And David grabbed me at the end and looked in my eyes and said Thanks. And Adam was very thankful and sweet as well, wished me a good end of con, I said I hoped he’d enjoyed it. Then the steward was proper “MOVE” - doing their job! - Back to Panel’s, Kim and Briana, the goddesses that they are. And Kim talked about how much she’s learnt from her autistic daughter and that she’s realised she tried to mother everyone, now she just mother’s her child. Same for Bri, she’s more than happy to let her kid do whatever and figure it out for themselves cause they’ll never take you for your word. - Misha was last up, he was very grateful to everyone for coming along. Said how “nice blackpool” was (sarcasm - the venue was mediocre at best). He took of his jacket - the crowd went nuts as they do. He thanked the event organisers and just like that, an amazing weekend was over. - That night the few that remained played CAH and ate chicken meals, opting for an early-ish night before saying goodbye in the morning. I wouldn’t have traded a second of it for anything. It was a grand weekend, and amazing first con and I had an absolute blast meeting all those new people, meeting my family and seeing old faces. I can’t wait to go to another one!

Taking Pics Making Friends

[huntedbyacreature]

my SWCO highlights

First of all, it was so lovely to meet people I’ve connected with online (@bastila-bae, @vulpeculavincere) in the flesh, see some tumblr friends I’d met up with before (@holocroning, @starwarssuccumbed), and meet other Reylo supporters who have crossed my dash (@cobwebbing, @mnemehoshiko, @theknightsjedi, @judaas, @bensolodefensesquad, @thewayofthetrashcompactor, among others).

Day-by-day highlights and some photos of my Aphra cosplay below the cut.

Thursday, April 13

Watched 40th Anniversary panel livestreamed into one of the overflow stages because I didn’t arrive early enough the night before to make it to the sleepover. I got up at 4 am instead. I hadn’t slept much the past few nights due to work and personal stress. But had I known (or had it been rumored) John Williams would be gracing us with a live performance I would have rearranged my life to be in queue by 7 pm. Even though not all of us made it to the live room, we all received that beautiful limited edition Carrie Fisher tribute poster (an increasingly valuable item on eBay).

Missed the live Ian McDiarmid panel but caught livestream. What a sparkling wit and fine classical talent. Can you believe he’s 72? One of my favorite speakers of all the panelists.

Having learned my lesson, queued up early (5 pm or so) with @vulpeculavincere, @bastila-bae, @holocroning, @starwarssuccumbed and others for the sleepover for the next day’s Last Jedi panel. Navigating the interminable queue was a deathly underworld-like experience but I’m glad I made that journey with such an excellent group and oh, yes, the payoff was well worth it.

Rian Johnson. By now everyone knows about his surprise visit around 11 pm as captured on video and reposted on various media outlets. And what a surprise! You see the camera panning to shocked fans. I had been napping and when I awoke to the megaphone, with Rian Johnson standing right there, I just ... could not believe my eyes and could not function. Was I dreaming? Dazed and then jolted with the dawning realization Rian was just a few feet from where I was a disheveled lump shivering in my sleeping bag in the queue, all I could do was mutter “oh shit oh shit oh shit” under my breath in shock. Later, when Rian was working through a tunnel of fans signing badges and posing for photos (bless him, what a magnanimous gift of four hours of his time), I worked up the nerve to meet him and tell him how much I loved all his films. I’m so grateful for that opportunity.

Friday, April 14

The Last Jedi panel. I was tired and listless that morning. Yet, once in the room, my heart began to race. Thanks to @holocroning and @bastila-bae for enduring my screams and enthused hand-grabbing during the poster reveal and teaser trailer premiere. I’m told my hand squeezing intensified when we got a glimpse of the Jedi Order starbust symbol on the cover of that ancient tome, with its promise of Jedi lore yet to be explored. There were SO MANY HIGHS from this panel, too much to relive here, need to gather my thoughts later. (Now I’m experiencing a sort of post-SWCO comedown after all the endorphins released.)

Post-panel boozing. Also refueling, rehydrating and finally reuniting with a bed after nearly 18 hours on a concrete floor. A nap, to booze again. Of course, the rest of the day also involved obsessively rewatching the trailer and reading the breakdowns and watching the discourse unfold.

Saturday, April 15

Slept in, then dressed up in my Aphra cosplay. (Yes, it was the first time I used any marker on my skin, and I hadn’t thought to apply any fancy tape technique. So my rendition of Aphra’s neuro-hacked arm was rather sloppy.) What was really cool throughout the day was how many people approached me to tell me that Aphra was their new favorite character (in addition to complimenting me and asking for a photo). She’s flawed and messy, a mercenary who looks out for herself and makes some morally questionable choices as opposed to a pure “do the right thing” type, so it’s wonderful that people seem to embrace such a roguish female character. She’s also gay and hits on women in the comics. 

One of those people who stopped to ask for a photo, as I was walking around checking out the exhibit hall show floor, offhandedly mentioned he was going to be on the Marvel Comics panel. As my slow mind searched for possibilities, given the only panelists announced were editor Jordan White, writer Charles Soule, and artist Phil Noto, @bastila-bae kindly jumped in to fill in the gap: “You’re Matt Martin, aren’t you?” My jaw dropped and I think I could only manage to repeat his name with a dumbfounded and then mortified look on my face. (Clearly, I have very limited social recovery skills.) Somehow, I expected the Lucasfilm Story Group creative executive, one of the hallowed keepers of the canon who sift out the apocrypha, to look ...older? 

Marvel Comics panel. So many exciting projects in the works. For example, the new Vader comic that picks up right after ROTS, or ”Vader Year One” as Charles Soule puts it. Charles thinks of Anakin and Vader as a spectrum and loves “sneaky Sheev” so I’m thrilled someone who can uncover psychologically complex angles is writing this series. Also, coming this May is Screaming Castle, the crossover comic arc that features Luke and Aphra teaming up “on a faraway alien planet and winding up in the clutches of a sinister alien queen”, playing with the gothic fantasy horror genre (which Matt is apparently a big fan of). During the panel, Jordan White asked the Aphras in the room to raise their hands and then picked out another Aphra and me, inviting us to come up to the stage. Then he handed over his iPad with the first issue of Screaming Castle. I was, again, in a state of confusion and shock. “Go on, read it, you can sit over there.” So, during the panel, I got to read Screaming Castle! As I told Jordan after the panel when all the Aphras were invited backstage for a group photo, it was such a treat to get a first look at the comic, especially for Marco Checchetto’s stunning artwork. 

Backstage post-panel. Here I am, in close proximity to those who actually know all the secrets (Matt and the Marvel Comics editors) and of course I can’t pester them with my burning questions. Besides, at that moment I’m too overwhelmed (fangirling overload) to formulate any coherent thoughts. I manage to chat a bit with Charles Soule (center photo below). Later on, I see that Matt tweeted the group photo below with the caption “my year is made” (he’s so kind), Marvel Comics editors Jordan White and Heather Antos also posted group photos, and the creator of Aphra himself, Kieron Gillen, retweeted in approval. Same, Matt, my year is made.

Sunday, April 16

This anticlimactic last day was all about slinking back into my usual anonymity, walking around the convention halls observing all the ingenious cosplays, taking it all in. Some Easter Sunday highlights included a Stormtrooper sporting bunny ears walking around with an Easter basket and a Lego Hux cosplayer in pink cap and yellow romper complete with pink ice cream in a cone. 

I met another Aphra, who really identified with the character, as a half-Korean, as a gay woman herself (her girlfriend stitched together part of the outfit) and as ...a droid builder! She showed me the BB-8 she built, which was on display in one of the show rooms. Exploring the rooms set up by fans exposed me to a part of the fandom (the crafty guilds of droid builders, helmet and suit fabricators, and other professional quality costume and prop makers) I had never interacted with.

I saw David Collins randomly, at the bottom of the stairwell outside the exhibit hall, and was able to tell him how much I appreciated his Star Wars Oxygen music analyses (given my classical music background).

Generally, across the four days, I was so impressed by the quality and variety of cosplays, the creativity and labor-intensiveness involved. There were mass gatherings of rebel pilots and imperial pilots. Stormtroopers, deathtroopers, snowtroopers, sandtroopers. Plenty of mashups, including sandtroopers in beach outfits. A group of Matt the Radar technicians. KOTOR cosplayers with Darth Revan a popular choice. Elaborately regal Padme cosplays. And of course all the Kylos and Reys. Families of Han, Leia and Kylo. Lots of Rogue One characters as well, including a skillfully wrought Saw Gerrera and several Chirrut and Baze pairs. 

This was my first Star Wars Celebration, and I’ve never been to any comic con either, so it was an unparalleled experience for me. Unforgettable, for all the highlights above and more. This fandom ... it’s so much bigger. 

[maiassensibleblog]

Why I do fandom and how I think we should do fandom

[Views are entirely my own and not aimed at any person/people in particular. This is also a bit outdated from my personal views, but I’m keeping it up cos personal growth is important to show.]

fandomˈfandəm/ noun

the state or condition of being a fan of someone or something. “my 17 years of sports fandom”

the fans of a particular person, team, fictional series, etc. regarded collectively as a community or subculture. “the Breaking Bad fandom”

-Google

I’ve been doing fandom for a long time…

From ever since I can remember, my life can be split into series of very intense fandoms. I grew up with the growth of the internet. I remember it feeling fairly new and exciting when my mum got us a dial up box but I was young and it has kind of always been available to me. The internet fuels fangirls: We live online. Some people think this is a terrible thing, that we’re missing the actual world, but it’s a whole world on there and, an awful lot of the time, it’s a much better, more accepting world.

Harry Potter was my first fandom and has been constant and underlying through everything else I’ve loved. I threw myself onto mugglenet as soon as I had the internet at home. I don’t think I was allowed an account on the forum as a kid but I read the posts and felt “yes, these are my people. I’m not that strange. There are other people who re-read the Harry Potter books on a constant rotation.” I think I was probably in this fandom from the ages of 9-12, mainly watching from the side-lines but having a sense of home.

Then I had the typical tween fandom phase: Zac Efron and related movies. Like EVERYTHING. I was so intense. This was back in the day that youtube was used as social media. I’m pretty sure I liked it so much because my mum wasn’t really aware that I was talking to strangers on there, she just thought I was looking up videos of Zac’s abbs (not entirely wrong but a pretty good cover up, well done 13 year old me!). I made my first fandom friends. We chatted all the time on MSN. It sort of allowed me to separate my obsession and my “real” life and I think it made me a bit less annoying to my school friends.

My mum was amazing with this fandom. She used to take me to premieres to meet him and I would get this shaky, butterflies feeling for weeks afterwards. I, of course, mistook this for being madly in love with him. Spoiler alert: actual love feels completely different to this infatuation but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for me to experience as a young-mid teenager. If you fancy a celebrity it’s a completely safe expression of your sexuality. This is why I think girls tend to be a lot more intense than boys in fandom: culture doesn’t allow us to express ourselves in many ways and this is seen as totally innocent and acceptable.

Somehow, in all this, I found the energy to count down to the last Potter book for 100 days and get 13 A*-C GCSE’s. And have non-fandom friends. I sort of fell out of the fandom when I was about 15/16.

I then moved onto Doctor Who when I was about 16-21. I think this is when fandom started to become more about the “fandom” than the actual TV show for me. Fandom is literally a kingdom of fans and it is honestly a family of lost, crazy young people who need somewhere to express themselves. I was pretty intense but only really to the people in my fandom (obviously my non-fandom friends knew I loved it) but the friends I made (hello, Kinglets) are still some of my dearest. We’re even going to be bridesmaids at the first wedding in the group.

We go to conventions together, we go the all the actors plays together, we’ll go and find them if they’re filming in London. But mostly, we’re really important friends. I know that I can go to them for anything and that intense start to our friendship has made them really deep.

The Cursed Child fandom

And then we get to now. You can see my post about Cursed Child here. But in short we are binge-watching a play because we’ve sussed how to get tickets pretty much whenever we want them. It is bringing me so much joy and it feels really, really intense: way more than my pervious fandoms. Most my fandom friends live in or close to London because that’s the only way you can really watch the play constantly, some of them I even met at stage door and not online. The reason this is so intense is because it is so accessible. Many of the cast are really active on social media and (if I wanted to, had absolutely no shame and nothing better to do with my life) I could go to stage door everyday.

Since this fandom has been so intense and I’ve been very visible as more than just a username there has been a lot of controversy about why I am doing this and whether it’s appropriate. We have constant conversations on the group chat about if certain people are taking it too far and how and why. They’re just discussions and nobody in that chat thinks they have the right to judge the others because we’ve all got close to that invisible line in the past 6 months but where does the line stand for different people? Obviously we all draw the line in different places based on our perspectives on life. Is it even our responsibility to police each other? We’ve often thought we were better than the younger members of the Cursed Child fandom because we don’t tweet the cast everyday to say we love them and we don’t scream and cry at them (not sober anyway, and we’ve learnt our lesson on that one). But does that make us better? Do we have the right to judge anyone?

Why I do fandom

The reason why I am doing this is easy for me to decode. Fangirls tend to be the clever, successful young people. The popular kids were not and will never be one of us. We have busy lives and we’re really easily bored. I am always thinking and always inside of my own head: if there isn’t something for me to focus on I get fidgety and frustrated. But if we’re the clever kids, how is this intense obsession not taking up all our brain space and preventing us achieving our full potentials? I find that it’s easier for me to focus on my studies when I’m intensely part of a fandom. It helps to give me tunnel vision; with just my work and my fandom to focus on, I have less to be distracted by. I’m a scientist; my success relies upon my obsession with my work. It is already very intense and in order to take effective time out, it helps to be obsessed with my hobbies too.

Second, fandom is my creative outlet. I have to be so calculated and methodical all day and that isn’t all I am good at or enjoy. Writing fanfiction lets me write without having to take the time to develop my own characters because I’m way too busy with my work. Having theatre friends lets me go and see everything and talk about plays in a way that a room full of scientist will never want to. And it gives me a group of people who encourage me to pursue creative hobbies rather than telling me it’s a waste of time.

Finally, and perhaps more importantly, this fandom gives me intense joy. Both watching the play and hanging out with the friends I’ve made through it. The fact that I can experience that joy over and over again and express that to the members of the cast that are bringing that is an absolute blessing. And therefore I am not going to stop doing it because people are jealous or are worried that I’m annoying somebody. This doesn’t mean I won’t adjust my behaviour if somebody has a point but I know why I’m doing this and it’s all because it makes me so happy.

How should we do fandom?

The question about where we should draw the line is much more complicated. We definitely freaked out some of the younger cast members when we started obsessing. This is also a unique fandom because these people are the same age as most of us, we’re adults and so have the awareness that this is, if you really think about it, quite weird. Its taken a few months but I think we’ve reached a balance where we all understand each other. They don’t need to have their guards up with us, we’re joking most of the time. We’re not the fans who are going to follow them to the tube station; we don’t have their twitter notifications switched on so we can reply to them 2 seconds after they tweet anything just to tell them we love them and we aren’t going to hover around stage door except when we’re meant to be doing so after the show. We genuinely appreciate their art.  

But should we stop going to stage door when we’ve seen the show? And is it wrong for us to go when we haven’t been in and our friends have? It has reached the point that if anyone is watching the play anyone who is in the area will go and meet them at stage door and just hover behind them because we want to see our friends. I don’t actually get a buzz from seeing Sams’ face, but I do get a buzz from seeing one of the collective. My intention is not inappropriate so I think its fine. Others do not think its fine but I’m not hurting anyone and as long as we’re aware that we should be as respectful as possible, I think this is all good. I’m also never going to stop going to stage door while people seem happy to see me. I’m actually quite perceptive and think I’d be able to tell if people were genuinely done with me.

But I do think that, to some extent, it is our responsibility to police each other. I think that, in general, fandom-policing is a waste of time because you can’t control people who are as intense as we are, and you shouldn’t. But I think that we are an actual group of friends and a sub-fandom of sorts, who have such open access to this play and its cast that we have to follow our own rules and should remind each other to do so. We don’t want to be known as annoying and we don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. I don’t appreciate when people outside of our group tell us to behave a certain way because they have no way of knowing the context of what we do or previous conversations which may make some things ok for us to do, but not others. But I do think it’s important for us to continue to discuss where the line is to keep having an amazing time.

Fandom is an intense experience for everyone involved. The only way I can describe it to non-fandom people is that it’s like when you fall in love really quickly but it’s with a whole group of people and a thing, all at the same time. It’s a bit like falling but it’s amazing. Of course this leads to insanity for both the members of the fandom, who are loving it, and the objects of it, who are probably confused by the whole thing. If we want to be seen as responsible, adult fandom members it’s so important to keep checking ourselves.

This intensity has hit me as complete and utter joy since I saw Cursed Child for the first time last June. The friendships I’ve made have been so important and are valid and real. We don’t have to justify ourselves to the rest of the world and we aren’t hurting anyone.

I know that I’m a bit annoying and obsessed but as a wise man once said: “Some people are obsessed with heroin” (Daniel Radcliff).