#for one: so many people conveniently forget that she was the one who controlled and was apparently fortifying the ToL

[wishesofeternity]

“Warwick launched his final bid at kingmaking, this time in alliance with Margaret of Anjou to restore Henry VI. He and Clarence landed in Devon while the King was in Yorkshire. Elizabeth (Woodville)’s initial reaction was to prepare for a siege in the Tower of London where she had already retired in expectation of the imminent birth of another child. But on 1 October news reached the capital that the King was preparing to set sail from Bishop’s Lynn, abandoning his kingdom. With no hope of imminent rescue, Elizabeth moved swiftly into the Sanctuary of Westminster Abbey with her mother and her daughters. She sent Abbot Thomas Millyng to advise the Mayor and Aldermen that she was surrendering the Tower, and consequently Henry VI, into their custody.

- J.L Laynesmith,  “Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight’s Widow” in “Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts” / “The Last Medieval Queens, English Queenship 1445-1503″

"Elizabeth (Woodville) at first fortified the Tower of London against the approaching Lancastrians, but then decided instead to hand over custody of the Tower to the mayor and aldermen of London while she went into sanctuary at Westminster Abbey. It was a move which not only protected her daughters, who were with her, but also saved London from attack, which perhaps explains some of the praise she later received. The author of 'The Historic of the Arrival of Edward IV, who claimed to have witnessed much of what he recorded, stressed

the right great trowble, sorow, and hevines, whiche [the queen] sustayned with all manar pacience that belonged to eny creature, and as constantly as hathe bene sene at any tyme any of so highe estate to endure; in the whiche season natheles she had browght into this worldc, to the Kyngs grcatystc joy, a fayrc son.

...When Edward (IV) arrived, there was a scene of family bliss, in which the queen's vulnerability and domesticity could be contrasted with his heroism.  The king was thus presented in an unusually human guise, which might appeal to readers familiar with such partings themselves throughout the civil wars:

The king comfortid the quene, and other ladyes ckc;  His swete babis ful tendurly he did kys;  The yonge prynce he behelde, and in his armys did bere. Thus his bale turnyd hym to blis.

[crazilust]

My thoughts on these placements

based on my last lover. PSA: this might be biased. don’t take it TOO seriously, it’s mostly for me to purge this relationship. LETS GOOOOOOO !!

1. Gemini rising

Have you ever felt hella special to someone and then you see them interact with someone else and you’re like “oh. i’m… i’m just another one of their friends.” this is what it feels to be around a gemini rising sometimes. most of the ones I know, are either extremely popular, know alot of people or at the very least just hang out regularly with a bunch of people (might just be colleagues and not necessarily friends but they’re often surrounded). And they have this way of making you feel special, and funny and entertaining but most of the times, they’re the ones controlling the discussion and the flow of it.

when it came to my ex, he knew so many people and every person he was interacting with, he knew a little detail about them, and it made the person care so much about him. Even though he didn’t as much. Somewhat flimsy, it’s hard to know a Gemini rising’ true intentions with you.

2. Sagittarius sun

Sags don’t have the best reputation in my book, and he certainly didn’t help the stereotypes. The thing with Sags sun that I find hard to understand is the constant lie they have between who they truly are and who they want to be. It’s a constant battle of “don’t look too hard into my flaws bc soon enough I’ll be this grandiose super star and therefore you can forget about the awkward nerd you have in front of you.” Most of them are nerds, truly. But they hate it. As opposed to Aquarius sun’s desire to be different and their ability to stand on their two feet even tho they’re being outcast, a Sag sun’s deepest fear is to be seen as the weirdo they are. (that unfortunately they associated with being a loser)

If you’ve never been close with a Sag, you’ll be the first to deny this claim. “What?? The Sag I met was THE life of the party! No weirdo here.” or “The Sag I met was a boss ass btch, she had everything under control and very educated!!”

And that, my friends, is what we call a front. Sure, they can be the life of the party, usually very keen on getting their diplomas, but if you don’t know them, that’s the only part of them you’ll get to see cause it’s the part they deem acceptable.

I’m not even gonna comment on the commitment issues, cause yall… you know it already lmao.

3. Virgo moon

Nobody hates an underdeveloped virgo moon more than they hate themselves. So critical, judgemental and harsh. They notice absolutely everything that you do and instead of going to you and confront you about the issue, they’ll keep it in, and throw it back to your face the minute it’s convenient for them (when they effed up). Very hard to love because they simply can’t accept that you love and accept their own flaws. I remember my ex asking me litteraly all the time “How can you love me if I’m not as pretty as before” (it was in his head, he was just as cute) “How can you love me if I don’t have a job?” (He had lost his job for only 2 months at that point) No matter what I’d say, he couldn’t believe that I loved him wholeheartedly, no matter what.

Sometimes, when I look at a virgo moon, unevolved ofc, all I can see is pain. Virgo is an already hard sign to have imo (sorry!) but in the moon placement, it’s just sad. These natives are so harsh on themselves and accept no help whatsoever. And if you do try, they’ll do everything to push you away and trust me, one thing Virgos do is succeed.

4. Libra Mars

As a scorpio mars, libra mars is not my favorite placement. But as I checked my vedic chart and I do, in fact, have a libra mars, I hate that I understand why they act the way they do.

They care so much about everything being perfect, everyone getting along and most importantly being at peace with the ones they love. The cliches are true for a reason, they dislike conflict and yes, are passive agressive but it’s because they don’t want to lose the people they love with petty drama.

So they don’t say anything, and they accomodate even tho that one thing irritated them and then when you confront them about something, they bring you everything you’ve done wrong for the past six months. That’s the part I hate, ofc, but I also hate that I get it.

I get it. They’re the biggest people pleasers and when they don’t say anything about something that upsets them, they actually think they’re doing it for the greater good. They obviously analyse everything you’re doing wrong, but they don’t mind not saying it cause they’d rather be at peace with you. So how dare you don’t do the same for them?

That’s the mentality. Unfortunately for them, it brings bigger conflict because then you feel betrayed they never said anything to begin with. UGH.

SPEAK YOUR MIND, Libras of any placements actually <3

5. Sagittarius Mercury

If you consider yourself soft, delicate, sensitive, do not date a Sag mercury. These people are ruthless. As friends, I find them hilarious and fun to be around, but as lovers I would never do that to myself again. Just never <3. They are very blunt (which doesn’t mean they won’t lie! We’re talking about a Jupiter ruled sign here yall), but in a way that won’t make you feel good about yourself. They’ll often use humour to attack you and then use it as a shield the moment you call them out on it (i.e : It was just a jokeeeeee!)

Gives very good advice, I’ll give them that. I think sometimes I can have a little bit of tunnel vision and with Sag mercuries, they’re able to tap you on the shoulder and be like “Have you consider this tho?” in the most casual way and you’re like “oh.. no. yes. you’re right”

6. Aquarius Venus

If you love the friends to lovers trope, you’ll just love dating an Aquarius venus because that friendship-like relationship will be the foundation of your dynamic. Everything feels fun, the complicity is at an all time high.

But the commitment.

Now, I’ve read multiple times here that Aquarius venus is actually very committed to the person they love when they like you. Well, I guess I wasn’t his person cause I only felt the commitment phobia.

Anyways, I still loved the dynamic of the relationship, but I can’t lie, it didn’t feel serious at all.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~•~•

Well that’s all for me, today. Love yall!!

Remember, these are the big 6 of my ex so it is biased nothing to take too personal but if it applies and resonates, great💛

B.

[another-goblin]

Random thoughts on Sunday and new Tingyun

Now that they officially teased playable Sunday, I'm worried about something. The game tends to introduce important things about characters to then completely disregard them (I think Blade is the biggest victim of this; I might make a post about it. I mean, currently he's just like a grumpy but harmless socially awkward uncle. He might have been a bit mean to our friend, but it's all in the past, right? Nothing bad worthy of addressing. Not like he was teased as a cosmic-level threat, a spirit of vengeance fueled by pain and madness who subjected DH to decades, if not centuries, of exquisit torture and killed thousands of innocent people).

So Sunday is basically a typical "morally-grey" vilian, doing a very bad thing "for greater good." And let's not forget what he did to Aventurine. He prodded into his past, knowing that it's a very painful topic to him, with no reason basically, just to show that he has an upper hand. And then just doomed him to 17 hours of absolute torture and inavitable death in the end, knowing full well that he isn't responsible for Robin's "death." Again, vilian behavior.

How is the game going to deal with it? My prediction - by completely ignoring it. He's going to be just a normal chill guy who just loves his sister. The story will handwave everything he did off as his mentor's fault or something. I really hope I'm wrong. A character being forced to face and process the bad things they did and achieve character development through it would be a first for this game. But just wait and see them completely neuter one of their most interesting, complex, and morally-grey characters.

BTW, they really have a tendency to remove responsibility from characters. 

Whatever Blade did, it's not his fault because he was driven crazy by mara and Jingliu's torture. But it's not her fault because she was driven crazy by mara and whatever Yingxing and Dan Feng did to Baiheng. But it's not their fault either, because although they kind of still exist enough to create some kind of connection with these past events, it's not enough to bear any responsibility for what their past selves did. A lot of very bad things happened, but nothing is anybody's fault, how convenient. Similarly, what Cocolia did isn't her fault because she was controlled by stellaron. I hope they won't do something like that to Sunday.

Speaking of new characters, not gonna lie, I'm very excited to see new Tingyun (also glad to see a new version of a non-Astral Express character).

I hope she's not some messed-up zombie reanimated by Ruan Mei, but our good old actual Tingyun. But her return to Luofu is going to be awkward. I mean, we had a whole sad little event, everybody saying their heartfelt goodbye to her and stuff, giving her postimous gifts. A bit impolite of her to return alive now. 

But that finally puts an end to the idea that there are stakes and that playable characters can die. After so many fakeouts, it loses its impact; even if they actually kill a character for good one day, nobody will believe it. My prediction: next they'll find a way to make Misha and Gallagher "real boys."

btw isn't it weird how they make very similar characters sometimes? First we have two 5-star young barefoot girls, who are physical destruction and have very similar mechanics. Now two 5-star fire nihility foxians with pink tails.

[hellcifrogs]

There is the trope with doctors being the scariest thing if they get angry. Because of all the knowledge they have about the body.

What are your medic OCs like when they are pissed off and where would you put them in a 1-10 scale where 1 "Eh... ok doc..." and 10 is "Holy shit! I'm gonna die..."?

How convenient that I have (currently) exactly 10 official medic ocs in the Junko AU (these ones). I ranked them by imagining how they'd deal with troublesome patients.

The nice doctors:

1 - Petro is the least scary and most patient of the bunch, you'd need to break serious hospital safety rules, disturb the staff AND insult his sister to actually get him angry enough to be scary.

2 - Dante is also very very calm and controlled most of the time, but can also be strict in making sure his patients are safe and well cared.

3 - Kyouharu learned everything from Dante, he's so pleasant and kind to everyone that most people forget he's also a taijutsu master, and will use force to get things in order. He'll just go back to smiling right away so usually people only get shocked and confused, but not really scared.

4 - Diane tries not to scare people and be very gentle, but they're not exactly a trained doctor and will remind anyone that they're doing them a favor by helping treat them and can stop and leave anytime (Most likely won't, but activating the byakugan doesn't help soften the threat).

5 - Yuriko doesn't care about being sweet and polite to her patients, she's used to healing people in the battlefield and will get straight to the point when needed. She can be quite forceful and intimidating if anyone gets in the way of her work.

The scary doctors:

6 - Irene has a temper and her being scary when angry is just who she is. The fact that she does have medical knowledge without being properly trained only adds to it, but not many people actually know about that.

7 - Junko is not a doctor, she was introduced to the basics of it by Kyouharu, but overall she's not the best option to heal someone. And that's probably what makes her scarier, because if she's using what she knows, she's not using it to heal you.

8 - Suzuyasu is naturally intimidating, the rumors and gossip don't help his case. He can be scary on purpose and, like Yuriko, has been in far too many battlefields to know when to be forceful. All that aside he's a skilled doctor and is even great with children.

9 - Neno is neither a doctor nor here to treat you. She's only interested in poisons and if someone decided you're her patient, then you're in for some uncomfortable time, at best. She might actually get hired by the torture and interrogation team one day.

10 - Vera is probably the last person you'd want to find strapping you to a hospital bed. She doesn't need to get angry to be scary, much less if you know who she is. Traitor, assassin, crazy doctor... basically, you'll need to be tied down not to run away.

[dani-luminae]

Also I forgot to ask but: choose violence: 3, 4, 7, 9, 10, 14, 16 and 21.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Uh probably either that one post about Chloe being as awful as Chad. Alternatively, this one take I saw that was like "Audrey cheated on Ben first because she kissed Chad before Ben ever said the relationship was over!"

Honey, if "just sang a love song to a girl who's not his girlfriend" wasn't a clear indication that the relationship was solidly over, I don't know what is.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Well if we're talking about that one person who was posting pictures of me (as a minor!) in the Descendants tag, that last straw was when they were outright ableist, so...

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

"Starboy" from Wish. Ignoring that he was supposed to literally be her grandfather returned to earth!!!!!!!!! People really can't stand that Asha could be her own protagonist without a romance. Besides, you want a romance? Dahlia's right there! Simon is right there and there's plenty of tropes that can be applied to his "magically controlled to hurt my friends" situation!

9. worst part of canon

Everything about Beast's character in Descendants. Folks he's literally the last person who should have been an option for the "oh he just decided to drag all the villains back from the dead and imprison them" idea. He's the one prince who had a character arc about not being cruel and unkind!

If I had to chose I would pick Prince Florian for that b*llshit. We know nothing about him as an actual character with personality and given how many people love to go the whole "eew he kissed a fourteen year old!!!!! WTF" route...

10. worst part of fanon

Wish rewrites that are literally just "the movie but Starboy exists and he and Asha have a romance! Also ignore how Asha's conveniently lightwashed"

I keep seeing a Wish rewrite reposted to Pinterest from Instagram called "Alicia and the Kingdom of Starlight"

WHO TF IS ALICIA?

That's not a rewrite at that point. That's just a plain OC.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

I don't... read fics enough to really answer this. I read my own fics, my mutuals fics (you and @descendantofthesparrow) and that's... about it.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Is "Starboy" still an option?

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

The Isle of the Lost. I think there's so much more potential to be shown in Auradon instead with the Isle kids adjusting to freedom instead of D2 trying constantly to go "oh but remember you were an Isle kid!!!! That'll never change!!!!!" (and then D3 forgets it altogether).

Also Wonderland. What was the fucking point with Wonderland. They couldn't afford the sets for the Isle of the Lost and Auradon Prep again so they just had to change course?

[dingoat]

ghost: for best girl and also my boy crow

Ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Ooooh. Well! Ahuska is absolutely haunted by the people she's killed (or in Blakk's case, almost killed), which is a list that grows longer the more of her memory she regains. She was, initially, a very successful Imperial project, taken out every full moon and dropped conveniently close to her target for the night, then tidied up by her handler and (courtesy of a chemical inhibitor) left with no memory of the incident come morning.

She's hurt people in so many different ways while wolfed out; directly, through her command/control word conditioning, indirectly as a by-product of the berserk rage she flies into in the proximity of Force sensitives (hellooo, Havoc squad, and more recently a poor Jedi padawan), and, in the case of Blakk, quite purposefully while driven to a point of absolute fury and despair, lashing out with no thought beyond the present.

Of course- she has since broken free from several different instances of captivity and is on the road to recovery, but it's a long, slow, painful road. While she does intend to get complete control of herself back and work toward making amends for those she's hurt, right now she's actually doing a very good job of not dealing/living with her ghosts at all and is diving head first into the absolute forget-about-the-world distraction that is Thirteen. The temptation to run away and pretend none of it ever happened is strong.

Crow, meanwhile, I think is haunted most by people left behind. Sure, he's basically made a career out of switching sides, deserting and defecting as it suited him and somehow always managing to be just skilful and charming enough to get away with it...

But at the end of the day, there are some faces that are hard to shake. A big one would be Lyrisal, his original Republic army captain, who is still locked up in Belsavis (as far as he knows) after their first major desertion. There's a lot of guilt wrapped up there, especially with his current position and (relative) freedom with Imperial Intelligence. Another, of course, is Fynta, his captain the second time around during his stint in Havoc 2.0. Ultimately, (this version of) Fynta's relentless desire for revenge against Ahuska pushed him away, and made it all the easier for him to be lured to the other side by the monster hawkbat, but he had loved the squad a great deal and sometimes catches himself wondering if things couldn't have gone differently.

I think his main coping strategy for actually living with his ghosts is telling himself that 'one day' he will actually find a way to do something about them, though he really has no idea how exactly to go about breaking someone out of Belsavis (without causing trouble to rain down on the people he cares about) or, even more difficult, to enact some sort of reconciliation between Fynta and Ahuska. Ahuska is still wanted after all (though technically deceased as far as official records go), and he's pretty sure Fynta would shoot either of them on sight.

[quitealotofsodapop]

More details on "Shane the Witch Child" au;

Shane sorta takes over as the "main character" in place of the Farmer in this au cus the Junimos aren't gonna let him forget it.

Shane can't remember his birth parents. Side effect of the Shrine of Memory. He does remember that his birth name means "Gift from Yoba" - though it isn't "Shane".

Although he recovered physically from being "dove'd" as a toddler, the experience was super tramatizing to Shane. Even if he can't remember it fully.

Shane is neurodivergent. It's unconnected to his "doving" experience, he's just born that way. Being undiagnosed for so long + trauma during his early 20s stoked the fire of his alchoholism.

Jas isn't directly related to Shane, but was the daughter of his best friends. Him and said friends followed eachother from childhood to college, and Shane was declared Jas's godfather. Then within one tragic car accident; Shane found himself Jas's only living legal guardian. And because of his injuries sustained in the crash, Shane lost his college gridball scholarship. He moved back in with Marnie after the accident and fell into the bottle ever since.

Marnie isn't an active magic user but being the Witch's sister, is naturally attuned to the magical world. It's why she doesn't question the existance of Void Chickens. To her, they've always just "been there".

Their family have almost always been farmers, going back generations - the sole exception being the Witch, and her and Marnie's father.

The family has had a business-type association with "Grandpa" from the farm north of the ranch for... wait. How old was that coot when he passed?

The "Farmers" that inherit Grandpa's old Farm aren't human. Shane is one of the few people able to see this. The lazy second-born Ffion, the one in charge of morning feeds and birds, loves to tease Shane about this fact when they cross paths in the morning. Shane hates this guy especially since he spends all day lazing in the sun and shade like all other serpents.

Shane and Emily get along so well because 1: shared special interest in birds, 2: related struggles with impulse control, and 3: neurodivergent besties. As a fellow neurodivergent person - we tend to accidentally flock together (birds of a feather if you will).

Shane gets super-attached to the birds he's raised personally and can't bring himself to eat bird meat. He's pretty much sees his birds as his kids. He's even ended up raising and releasing many wild birds who's nests got disturbed during Joja Corp development projects. Lapwings, Oystercatchers, Barnacle Geese, Plovers, Gulls, etc.. After his revelation that he wants to raise birds for a living, he starts taking in rescues. (irl reference that inspired this part A Chick Called Albert). He wonders if any of those birds remember him - they do.

Charlie the Chicken isn't allowed in the house unless she's wearing bird diapers. Shane thinks she looks ridiculous. Marnie refutes saying that Shane can sleep in the coop if he so wants - something he honestly considers. Charlie puts up with it so long as she gets to sleep in the bed next to Shane.

Shane encounters Leo early on (long story). He immediately finds a kindred spirit in the little parrot-kid. Leo thinks Shane is a "big blue bird" cus of his Joja Mart uniform, and Shane doesn't correct him. Shane acquires bird-son. Marnie was very relieved/confused when Shane made it back home with a kid and a few wild birds in tow.

The conflict between Joja Mart and the Community Centre is far more drawn out. In conjunction with Shane discovering that he has magic(!!!) despite not believing in the supernatural, he struggles with the ideas of putting Luddism/farming before convenience and stability. He's not gonna drop a decent 9 to 5 to chase a pipe dream if it puts Jas's future at risk. The Junimos will not leave Shane alone though.

Shane accidentally befriends Krobus and the Dwarf. The former because he found out that the shadow spirit was protecting Jas, and the latter because Dwarf admires Shane "protecting the Smoluanu birds" (chickens). Shane is very confused.

Song that inspired this au: "Devil's Train" by The Lab Rats. I leave it up to the imagination exactly who's offering to make Shane a deal.

Let me know what y'all think ;3

[thetangibleghost]

okay. TW for implied sexual violence. but like you kinda gotta read between the lines.

Park:

Just got off the phone with someone I know in the states. The Truman show delusion is really bad for me, but I said that I would keep my US number on till the 12, even though it's like 6 dollars a day. And I would do that for most people I guess. He was like. He exists. When I talk to him on the phone, I hear his voice. this is worse.

Vent:

💥, I really wanted it to happen again. I liked the way 💥 looked at me, and I liked the way you could see that 💥 was thinking. It didn't seem unfair, looking back I understand more, but there was no betrayal or anything. It was like I poked the bear. I had... fun. it felt really good, but that's kinda why it was fucked up. I feel like everyone can see me all the time, like they can just think about me and know what I'm doing. Friday helps by narrating what the crowd of sometimes specific people are taking about. But I think it's just a feeling, Friday helps give insight though.

〰️:

I look for ➖ everywhere, I saw her in 💥, I see her in everybody. When I got to know 💥 better I realized they were pretty different and liked them both. I didn't think ➖ and I ever expected eachother to be committed or anything, or four the to be any sure if relationship beyond what happened. nobody in the system believes me that she existed. Nobody believes 'Vent' about 💥 either. It's hard to keep faith that ➖ is even alive, it seems unlikely. I didn't think either of them would like present day us very much either. I'm suprised the guy who we talked on the phone with still talks to us, I think it's more of a convenience thing. I had a lot of questions to ask ➖. I never really got the chance, or I was to scared. I really wanted to ask her if she believed in God and what her God what like. I think she would've thought I was joking. The other alters think it's all metaphor, that it's me latching onto stories. They're the ones that actually believe the Truman show shit idk why I'm the fucking crazy one for being like "u know how we have the forget you childhood trauma disorder? well there were some people we forgot". I always back up other alters when they come forward with stories or forgotten faces, but they never return the trust, the integrity. It's like I'm just the fucking crazy girl. I feel so fucking alone without her, even after learning about how people get endoctrinated into this kinda stuff I still feel like my parents should have understood, that they were choosing to do that to me. like, Abraham didn't have to bring Isaac up the mountain, he could've said "my God would never make someone do that, my God wouldn't want me to kill my child." but I bet he was excited to try. And I bet he'd wanted to before. I don't even like that God, That's the God they were always saying was my God. They never told me about the Bible or much about Jesus or anything. And they told me so many lies. They didn't like the Bible, but it had to be that one because they mentioned Jesus. We never even went to church. A few years ago I was looking through a box of my mom's things and found out id been promised to the Evangelicals. its not the same as a baptism, I think it might have been for my grandparents or something. It's not like this was some long running family thing, like why did this happen? Who's God were you serving? was it anyone's at all? it sometimes felt like you really did believe what you were saying. I blame the internet.

Love:

I keep thinking he's fucking outside my fucking door. I think he's an introject of ➖. He keeps telling me real and he's coming to save me. he keeps telling me to do things. So many of my alters just ask me to do things. When they're not fronting, they like to sit next to me and lie about everything. Sometimes It's like I back up and I can see the shape of this whole thing, these parts that don't have so much control, just working with old tools, ticking clocks, old mindsets. Im embarrassingly dependant on him. I just remembered a section of the innerworld, some bit of story but I didn't remember the context. some post apocalypse or woods outside of a war zone... I think didn't starve characters are involved smh. teen getting his face pressed to a grill over a fire. I HEAR LAUGHING ALL THE TIME OUTSIDE, normal but the timing always seems... well timed! Every time I hear it. Since he woke up last November I've associated Friday with laughter, not always good. I was in the hospital and there was a guy laughing, like uncontrollable joker-type laughing, I was so convinced it was him, because it started after I had thought about him laughing! Everything just seems so connected. Whenever I look outside or open the door he's never there. I think it might be the audience messing with me, everyone has decided I don't deserve to balance on the tightrope, so they shake it. and I'm so scared. Nothing makes sense. There's a dead snake in the road. My eardrums are blown out like daisies. I'm growing crystals in my throat, purple. People don't bleed, that's a myth. You soft boys love to beat people with your pillow fists, claiming physics isn't real, claiming the lion is the winner, claiming teeth never dull, claiming claiming claiming. I want to rip your feathers out with my teeth, make you incapable of flight. I'm so jealous that you all get wings. These flashbacks are so embarrassing, full body plays, I just feel like a nymphomaniac. I'm so tired of it all being so serious. 💥 was nice because Vent got to say what she/he always wanted to say, no punishment, love like how the tires love the road enough that the bones break and the organs spread like butter. as opposed to an impact, to a hunt, to photographs of dead bodies in snow, like the cold was the killer when really the killer was warm. It's all just an means to an end with this kinda stuff. Friday said that after it happened 💥 noticed rope burns on our wrists, but that 💥 was uninvolved. I don't remember ever having rope burns, but someone drew a picture once. We were older in that picture than Vent is implying though. The guy we just got off the phone with reminds me of ➖ too. but in a weird way I'm not used to. I think we're forgetting her, we've always been forgetting. but I think it's to the point now where there's barely any left at all. I know that's not what everyone says, I'm sure 〰️ disagrees. Idk if she really existed anyway. Idk if any of this stuff is real, or just another means to some unknown end.

Last four lines of Tulips by Sylvia Plath

"And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes

Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.

The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,

And comes from a country far away as health."

as I get older the meaning I take changes, but my favorite line has always been "And I'm aware of my heart: it opens and closes"

I wanted to get it tattooed on the outside of my shoulder for a while. like sort of American traditional style but just the line art, and then the red roses. But idk. what if someone skins it off of me or something.

[brjeauregard]

It’s wild to me how many people are angry at Orym for “letting” Laudna lose control and for telling Keyleth about Imogen’s mom. It feels like people are conveniently forgetting everything he’s been through in favor of coddling Imogen and Laudna. Don’t get me wrong, I love Imogen and Laudna and think they’re great characters, but they aren’t the only ones with trauma.

Sure Orym could have stepped in and stopped Laudna from killing Bor’Dor, but Liam confirmed on 4SD that Orym was going to kill him regardless. All of the pain and anger that Laudna felt from Bor’Dor’s betrayal was also felt by Orym, coupled with the fact that he was facing a member of the group that killed his husband and father. To say that Orym is blinded by his anger and not capable of seeing the situation objectively is saying that there are two sides to consider. The Ruby Vanguard are killing people indiscriminately and everyone knows that Ludinus can’t be trusted. Was it selfish if Orym to want Delilah back? Yes, but you also can’t ignore his very valid reason for wanting the power to stop Ludinus.

On the Imogen issue, Keyleth has every right to know about the people she’s trusting to help her and her people. A lot of people have already pointed this out, but her reaction would have been so much worse if she found out about Imogen’s connection to the Liliana from an outside source. It’s completely valid for Imogen to want her mom to be good and to try to justify her actions, but doing so in front of Keyleth and Orym, two people who have lost loved ones to the Ruby Vanguard, wasn’t the smartest choice. You can’t defend your enemy and then be surprised when your allies don’t fully trust you. Orym has very clear in the past that he doesn’t want to hear Imogen offer excuses for the Ruby Vanguard or defend their actions. He can love and care about Imogen while also holding her at an arms length in case she does turn on them.

These characters are complex, flawed, and deeply traumatized. They’re not always going to make the morally correct decision, but their choices almost always have a reasonable explanation behind them. You don’t have to agree with every decision they make, but a lot of people conveniently ignore very valid character motivations whenever those characters do something that hurts or upsets their favorite character.

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman 

1. Love’s A Losing Game.

I finally have a chance to touch on the scene between Roman and Gerri, and, as usual, my thoughts may be a bit controversial, but here we go. When we see them again, Roman is propositioning Gerri for advice after having fired her in the last episode, and Gerri rebuffs him with a firm, “No.” This seems to shock Roman, who then quickly plunges into damage control, attempting to cajole her and convince her his firing of her wasn’t real. As he puts it, “Dad fired people all the time. I was just feeling kind of fire-ish.” I can understand the logic behind Roman’s statement because, if one recalls in Season 1, Logan fired Frank, and, shockingly, Frank came back to Waystar and to Logan again anyway later on. Even Gerri was shocked by this, to which Frank replied, “Baby needs shoes, moth to a flame [...]”. This moment in Hunting between them sort of sets us up for what Gerri does in Tailgate Party by refusing to return, but again, Roman had seen the Old Guard kicked so many times he naturally thought Gerri wouldn’t permanently abandon him. Sadly, he thought wrong, and she has firmly--and gladly--removed herself from the picture. Most of the discourse online has cheered Gerri on, saying Roman got what was coming to him, and, to degree, I can agree with this. However, Gerri says something interesting that I’ve seen no one comment on which is the line about his dick pics: “[...] I will sue and I will go public with the many, many pictures of your genitalia that I have in my possession.” This struck me as quite pertinent because many fans debated about Roman’s sending of the dick pic in Season 3, wondering whether the one he sent his father was the only one, whether when Gerri asked him to stop sending, “the items”, she had been receiving photos before. This confirms that Gerri had received photos of Roman’s private parts before, and, until the moment she took the CEO spot, likely entertained his proclivity for sending them the same way she engaged in his other kinks. This brings me to my point, which is, did Roman deserve for Gerri to walk out on him? Sure, to a degree. He treated her poorly several times this season, and expected loyalty in return, which was foolish of him. However, was he the only one in the wrong? Not in the least. What many seem to conveniently forget when discussing their relationship is that Gerri willingly entered into a pseudo-romance with him, dancing the dance and leading him along as much as he led her. She was no virginal ingenue out to sea with a predator, she was a willing participant in their relationship, and she is as much responsible for its dissolution as he is. Her inconsistent communication with him in Season 3--her vague outlining of what was appropriate, her pulling back suddenly without any real clear sit-down conversation--is largely what led Roman to send her the photos. He even says to her, “I’m not so sure, I feel like you do want them, but you’re being kind of typically minxy.” Of course, she did seriously tell him to stop, but us fans remained confused through the run of the season like Roman did, and so I can’t help but sympathize with him now. He knew better than to send the photos and sent them anyway, and Gerri knew better than to enter into a relationship with her boss’s son and then turn around and throw the responsibility for it’s destruction in his face as though he was the only villain in the story. I am prepared to get a heap of criticism for this opinion, but I still stand by it. There’s something about the endless backing of Gerri and lack of actual critique of her actions that rubs me wrong. I do, however, still hope for some sort of turn in their relationship, naïve as that may seem, because, truly, they were much better together than apart. They were a more powerful team when they worked alongside each other, and to see the show just throw it all away feels cheap. I am interested to hear what others think about this scene, and, of course, discussion is always welcome, whether you agree or disagree with me. 

AN: I just wanted to add a quick thank you to all who have read and commented on my writings so far. As always I like hearing everyone’s thoughts, and I like how honest people are in the replies. Makes life more fun. 

[gib-mir-gift]

making an oc list here cuz i keep forgetting my own fictional people

Julius - manisfestation of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, intrustive thoughts, and just generally everything wrong with me. favourite drawing is of it sitting in a window and waving.

Maximus - julius brother. same routine different font. favourite drawing is of him puppeteering me while singing 'gehenna' by slipknot.

Johannes - the child of krampus. basically krampus jr but a major stoner. favourite drawing is of them smoking while studying a snow globe.

Amsterdam - johannes asshole cat. the soul of their best friend (who was a human named Virgo that died) was moved into his cats body to live on. the cat body got fucked up tho so hes obviously not a normal pet cat. favourite drawing is of his soul moving from his human body to the cat body.

Melodic - think venom meets an alternate from 'the mandela catelogue' (though i created it before i knew what venom was + before tmc came out). way too many teeth, communicates via low hums that sort of mimic human singing. favourite drawing is of it crouching in a door frame.

Brennan Walker - the cringefail loser that melodic loves putting through situations n circumstances n such. think paul matthews from tgwdlm but worse in ways that nmt couldnt even begin to comprehend. favourite drawing is of him lifeless on the floor while melodic looks at him like a kid looking at a bug under a rock.

Flatline - what brennan turns into when melodic finally gets bored. favourite drawing is its existential crisis/joy overload at what its become and the torture from melodic being over.

ZebraSpider - spidersona. deaf trans woman. she can jump over pretty much any building, and her fighting style mimics an aerial silk performance. favourite drawing is of her beating the absolute fuck out of her nemesis.

Mister Formid - zebraspiders nemesis. supernatural ability to control peoples stress levels (can make you feel calm, nervous, euphoric, pure dread, etc etc) just by looking at them. favourite drawing is him getting the absolute fuck beat out of him by zebraspider.

Matthew 'Keys' Köhler - ghostbusters oc. blind in one eye, tattoo sleeve of keys, slut gay autistic enby (they/he) that joined between gb1 and gb2. best friend is winston. faceclaim is ayre gross. favourite drawing is of them sucking face with peter.

Elija Zeddemore - another ghostbusters oc. winstons younger brother, aroace king, plays chess with egon a lot. best friends with janine. faceclaim is corey dorris. favourite drawing is of him unimpressed by winston covered in exploded stay puft marshmallow man.

Umberella - a birman 'cats' oc. best friends with plato and admetus. his human family moved to the area of the junkyard then abandoned him when moving back. he doesnt care cuz he likes the jellicles infinitely more than them. favourite drawing is of him trying to slut it out for skimble during the jellicle ball ('trying' cuz skimble is immune to his flirting).

Nettle - umberellas older sibling. closer to cassandra, alonzo, munkustrap, and demeter but her best friend is bombalurina (who calls him 'nett' which very very conveniently means 'nice'). they spend a lot of time sleeping and sunbathing and literally nothing else

Dugal Jones - pronounced 'doo-gull'. i am cringe but i am free cuz i made this maggotsona to be craigs kid. sampler that also plays bass in their spare time. the most goat/sheep themed lil dude you have ever seen in your life. favourite drawing is of them being taught how to play piano by clown.

Ae'ito - 'avatar' oc. ometicaya hunter. part of tsu'teys close friend group (before tsu'tey died) then became a close friend of mo'at, norm, and max after the clan moved to the mountains. favourite drawing is of her braiding the hair of norms avatar.

Fernweh - my fursona. black, red, yellow, and a very light burgandy coloured sabertooth dog (i have yet to decide the type of dog but their canine features tend to be very german shephard). favourite drawing is of them in a crop top that says "fat men are hot".

i have like 20 other furry ocs that i am entirely too lazy to include here so all youre getting is my fursona lmao

[chthonicgodling]

10 for chal and 18 for pho and icy ?

Ty!!! again questions from here w ocs from here - aaaand again behind a cut cause LONG Lmfao aaughhhh

10- If they have a love interest how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? (Re: Chal)

FENIXE AND I DIDNT PLAN CHAL AND BEL GETTING TOGETHER AT AAAAALLLL just like everything we’ve ever done it just sort of happened! So Chal was pretty solidly the way she was since before Bel, BUT certain traits of hers did definitely end up becoming emphasized just by nature of putting the two of them next to each other especially one specific thing like

The thing about Bel is that, as a mindreader and also as a split god linked to his own twin sibling, Bel’s not…. good at…….. communicating his own thoughts and feelings? Like Bel’s always been used to Ty just knowing everything about him all the time cause the two of them are ALWAYS in each others heads they can’t turn it off. That’s not to say Bel isn’t extremely well spoken and emotionally intelligent he just uh. Forgets to Do That On The Outside.

‘Cause then you put him next to someone like Chal who is not only incredibly imperceptive of how other people are feeling (she has gotten so much better with this but lmao still!!) but also NOT in tune with her OWN thoughts and emotions, and so all of that “Chal-ness” about Chal just jumped way more intensely to the forefront. Bel’s always poker faced and never reveals what he’s feeling - Chal, his partner, is frantically babbling every single thing she’s thinking and experiencing the second anything pops into her head. Bel himself summed up pretty concisely a while ago (yes I went back to 2017 to find tbis exact quote lol) - “I think the way we love each other is different.  You're more intense, I'm more subtle.”

so was that on PURPOSE okay no like I said Chal was never designed with Bel specifically in mind but. Is this something about Chal that’s become more pronounced as she developed alongside Bel! yyeeessss. So to foil alongside Bel Chal has gotten LOUDER and BABBLIER

fun fact re all of this though that idk if I’ve ever shared - they have had MANY conversations about their extreme communication differences cause it has caused problems due to Chal not!! being able to read minds and Bel!! forgetting that not everyone can read minds!!!!! They have a rule set up between them that Chal can ask at any time “what are you thinking” and Bel will always answer honestly no exceptions 💞 Chal asks this 40 times a day and it’s become so second nature to them that she’s even occasionally slipped up and done it to like, Tory, Gany, lol

18- What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? (Re: Icy & Pho)

the way these are both Chal related cause the last time they were really around in canon doing anything was around her lmfao—

For Icy: I’ve yet to formally do anything about this in canon but Icy’s still on and off crushing on Chal solely because I think it’s really funny so i’m stalling as long as possible since Neo and Icy are forever endgame anyway. HOWEVER I have discovered in my daydream planning that the way Icy will finally and definitively stop fawning over her is gonna be the moment he finally has an actual in depth conversation with Chal in order to discover that Chal, just like Icy, is an anxious wreck disaster - maybe even more so - and the shock of looking in a metaphorical mirror will be enough to knock some sense back into him. No way can Icy be the put together confident one in a relationship they can’t BOTH be falling apart aahhhh. Icy’s gonna realise that he can only date an opposite! HMM WHO’S ICY’S POLAR OPPOSITE AND CONVENIENTLY HIS BEST FRIEND AT HIS SIDE —

For Pho: this came to light for me the moment Pho and Chal actually met each other in canon cause I hadn’t realized how Pho was going to behave until he was behaving as such (I said, as the person responsible for writing and controlling all of these characters — shhhhhhhh) — is the discovery that Pho REALLY can’t stand Chal and it’s NOT for any of the reasons anyone else has hated her lmfao?! Literally nothing to do with Thanatos?!?!!

Pho and his dayglo glitter projection self has always existed outside of “time” in the sense that since like, physical age 4 onwards Pho has never actually ACTED his age, babbling in competent paragraphs due to his powers as a brain-mental(dream) god advancing him well beyond typical development. Kid-not-really-a-kid. Who else in the palace was merely kid-shaped but actually mentally existing well beyond their physical age???

Why, mindreading mindgods Ty and Bel of course, who froze themselves deliberately in the shape of children at age 7ish to be 7 forever with their big sister Meli, despite their powers advancing them outside the confines of age and space and time. they’re mind gods - they’re every mind!

and that’s a lonely life to live forever but not when you have a glittery buddy who’s also masquerading the same way to hang out with :-) besties! Except of course then Bel and Ty moved to Chal’s house— and dropped the facade, for Chal’s sake, to actually appear as the adults they were. For Chal’s sake! happily ever after for Chal!

…well. then. Pho was quite dismayed to discover that his besties weren’t kids to hang out with anymore. they didn’t even tell him fffdkfkff whoops??? like they just showed up at the palace again all different and Pho hanging out there with Icy was like what the FUCK??? so when Pho finally met Chal the discovery - suddenly became very clear to me that he harbors QUITE a bit of jealous resentment against her for “taking Bel and Ty away” and uhhh. will this be a grudge Pho holds forever?! maybe lmao! everyone’s oblivious no one can read Pho’s mind cause it’s all glitter sooooo……….. hm…….. keeping that one in the back of my mind……

[alatismeni-theitsa]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFcaKjQL/

The tiktoker saying at the beginning "Guys i am literally Greek, but i have never been in Greece before" and i am like...

Oh no a Greek migrant that went to US but her family didn't probably kept her in touch with her roots 😬

I see it unfortunately with others that migrated to US from India, China, Europe etc where they will say often how when they visit their relatives they will barely know the language, and it's sad for them not knowing their language.

Eeh let's not throw a pity party for people we don't know. Most second or third-generation Greek immigrants who don't know the language are not fully responsible for that. There are many variables outside their control. Their parents or immediate family didn't teach them, and with other stuff going on it's a bit hard to pick up the language from zero.

There are also feelings of guilt and disconnect when one doesn't know the language of their parents and this can lead to the person picking up the language later. It is great and beneficiary to know the language of your parents since it's a big part of the culture, but for the reasons above I don't want to judge the Greek immigrants who don't know Greek. They can always learn later. Besides, the goal in their lives might not be to become "super Greek" and that's fine as well.

The girl could very well be Greek by ethnicity, it just doesn't show where she lives. If she was living in Congo or Myanmar she would be visibly a "foreigner".

Like here, many Greeks still call "Pakistani" (not "Pakistani-Greek") the children who grew up here and they could have visited Pakistan just 1-2 times. Greeks do that for Nigerian children, Albanian children etc. Very conveniently in these cases Greeks don't forget the ethnicity of these people, even though these second or third-generation immigrants may have never been to the country or been once and felt like tourists. With that logic, yeah, she could very well be Greek.

I find it incredibly stupid when Greeks use the "argument" (ο Θεος να το κανει) "but she has never visited Greece!" Sooo?? She didn't say she was a Greek citizen! She meant her family's culture was Greek. There are Greek communities all over the world and the people of these communities don't have Greek citizenship.

I also disagree with people who say "it's in her blood" because culture =/= blood. If blood had anything to do with it, second gen immigrants to Greece wouldn't "belong" to Greek culture at all (but they do). And blood doesn't automatically make you know your culture and history or language. You can engage with it, of course, as anyone else with "different blood" is free to do so. These people could just say "She grew up in the culture" and that's it.

Of course, we should address the elephant in the room; the fact that this woman treated the (mostly common Greek) food like she'd never seen it in her life, and she misnamed and mispronounced words all the time. Her behavior and expression, and attitude toward the food don't distinguish her at all from the stereotypical USAmerican girl. This shows she is culturally quite far removed from the culture and it's reasonable that her claim of being Greek creates skepticism. (I just wish they weren't so rude and stubborn about it).

I can also tell that she probably had little to no contact with Greek culture (even if her parents were 100% fully Greek and moved to the US -- and I assume she is from the US because of her tonality and accent). It's not a crime to be removed from your parents' culture and there is no reason to engage in Greek culture if she doesn't want to. I am just saying that starting the video with "Guys I am literally Greek…" and then proceeding to be a full-blown USAmerican in every turn is eeeeeeeh weird, to say the least.

If she indeed is Greek by ethnicity I won't tell her that she isn't but I guess her identity explanation could be a bit different and more accurate to her own experience?

[wack-ashimself]

For the hype, 'The Creator' was actually quite fucking basic.

Sure, it had a few good twists and turns but....I have a rule.

If your movie wasn't super expensive and pretty, would I still watch it?

And the answer for this one is a pretty sturdy 'no.'

Because this movie is ONLY worth the watch for how stunningly beautiful it is AND how visually entertaining the fights are.

Plot wise, story wise....weak as fuck. ESPECIALLY the lead.

SPOILERS.

AI robots nuke LA. USA goes genocide on all AI (mostly in Asia for some reason). Lead is USA solider who hates AI, sees them as things, treats them as such the WHOLE ENTIRE MOVIE, then, changes his mind at the last minute because of his dead ex, who was super Pro AI (tho he spent tons of time with her where, logically, if he was gonna change his mind, it would've been when she was ALIVE.)

His motivations made NO fucking sense. He was allowing the kid AI (ultimate weapon that can control everything) to stay alive to find his ex, then, he does, and goes 'well, after killing countless innocent humans AND robots, I guess I was wrong.' There were WAY too many moments before this he SHOULD have changed his mind. When he did was convenient for the script, not logical for his character.

So lame story. BUT here's more plot holes cuz I was REALLY looking forward to this movie, and it pissed me off.

-The nuke in LA? Tho they GLOSS OVER IT, they basically say there was no way it was AI, it was a human computing error. But they don't say if it was USA people, foreign governments, etc. So the REASON THE MOVIE HAPPENS was a lie, then they never clarify the lie AT ALL. LAZY.

-How his wife survived a DIRECT BOMBING and was rescued: never covered.

-His wife KNEW he 'used' to work for the enemies. And, it turns out, she's the fucking leader of the AIs. SO....WHY WOULD SHE NOT KEEP EYES ON HER HUSBAND THAT JUST TURNED SIDES?!

-How his wife created the super AI, before she went into a coma, it was hidden for 5 years, and only THEN the bad guys figured out it existed. The Ai was underground, in a vault. WHO THE FUCK TOLD THEM? It wasn't the god damn lead! I mean, if his wife DID trust him (at least at the moment) why did she not tell her husband of the AI based on their unborn child? Either she DID trust him or not. Cuz it seemed like she was 1/2 way both ways. Contradiction.

-The first sky bomb knocked the lead out, made him forget some things. The 2nd sky bomb....he just ended up in a boat. Cuz why the fuck not?

-Where is literally any of Asia's federal government's military? They say it is new Asia, small vulnerable towns (and they all look poor) so...HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY REGULARLY AFFORDING TO BUILD COMPLEX AI ROBOTS!? THEY DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES OR MANPOWER!

-Where is literally the rest of the world? No joke, most of the movie is the USA using a sky bomber to bomb all of Asia. Without proof or reasoning. The rest of the world is okay with this? Also Asia is the ONLY country working with AI?

-Again, anti AI usa. THEY USE AI. Primitive stuff, but still use it. And you're telling me a SPACE BOMBER doesn't have SOME level of AI? Fuck off.

-This is just me, personally, but if someone was hit with a remote sticky grenade and got on my helicopter, no they didn't; I'd kick them the fuck off. Mofos-this is war. And I ain't going to kill 5 people in hopes I save 1. That's just stupid. Looks good in movies; stupid on fucking paper.

-The bad guys had no reason to bring in the lead alive (and prove that by letting him roam free) outside of 'for the movie to happen.' Nor to let him kill the super AI except, AGAIN, 'for the movie to happen.' TERRIBLE fucking logic.

-If AI have a sleep mode, known to all, why would they not either uninstall it or block it? Sorry but if I was an AI, I'd spend all my time finding out ways to upgrade my body.

-Once on the space station, why in the world would the bad guys only send PART of their solders? If this is a 'they could destroy the base' kind of moment, SEND EVERYONE. Within the base and outside.

-How did the AI child know to upload her mom's consciousness into another AI body? THEY HAD NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF IT DONE! ('The lead told the AI.' Only that her mom was on the stick. She still should not have known what to do with it.)

-How did some of the escape pods land after the ship? How did the ship crash, and escape pods that launched BEFORE it crashed, land after? It looked good; made no fucking sense.

-Space base of not, the bad guys still have tanks the size of 20 city blocks. ....this better not open for a sequel.

-I'm sorry, but at the end of the day, with how many humans and AI he killed, the lead isn't even an anti hero. He's a bad guy that did the right thing in the end. BIG difference.

-GPS. Sorry but super AI, space bombers, space shuttles flying like planes...BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE GPS ON EVERYTHING?! People to tanks to anything else. SO many future tech movies do this: we can go into your BRAIN....but fuck if we cant find you within a city of 1000s of cameras. DUMB.

Worth seeing, not worth thinking about. It will make you dumber. I will never understand how me, a regular guy, can find plot holes in multi million dollar movies which the script had to go thru MANY levels of approval. But this is what happens to 'art' when you want it to be profitable, not make a point.

'The Creator'. 6.4/10.

ps-best part? Ugh. Do I have one? It was a pretty movie. Hm..I liked the lead AI kid. Good actor. Actually, all of the acting was spot on. It was...what they had to work with script wise...ok. I do have 2 fav parts. Both DUMB AS FUCK, but I loved them. Not once, but TWICE in this movie animals unintentionally killed the bad guys. It...was unexpected, but fun. DUMB, but fun.

Side note: for how much this movie pushed the idea that AI and human were equal, make a note every time an AI is killed. A good...1/4 of the time, they play it off as comical. Not the human deaths, but the AI ones....

[hersweetrevenge]

corey cunningham x roger allen: relationship headcanons

i've become unreasonably invested in this pairing, and feel the need to explain myself lol. i think a relationship between corey and mr allen is fundamentally very complex and problematic, while also being an all american story of infidelity and youth.

WARNING for corey cunningham x mr allen, age gap relationship, smut, unprotected sex, infidelity/cheating, implied sex work, mildly implied child abuse (corey and his mom), murder, violence and child death. 3.8k word count.

pre-accident

their relationship is sort of like a subversion of the "lonely wife has an affair with the pool boy", but instead it's the "white collar husband has an affair with the boy who mows their lawn".

no matter how many times roger tells corey to call him roger, corey pretty much always says mr allen.

when corey first starts doing yard work, he put flyers (printed at the library) in the letterboxes through the nicer neighbourhoods in haddonfield.

joan is not happy about it. she wants corey at home, with her, always. but he's been getting a lot of big idead lately about college and independence and she is not happy. not one bit.

he meets the allens when they call the number he left and ask if he can come by at the weekend to talk about what he can help with.

corey got a crush first, almost as soon as he first met the allens, but roger was the one to instigate the affair, after a couple of months.

to begin with, roger thinks corey is a well-meaning but awkward kid, clearly not used to speaking to people that much. there's a sort of boyish confidence that comes through now and then, when he's talking about something he knows well. as time goes by roger starts to wonder -- when corey takes his shirt off in the heat, he must know what he's doing, right?

both of them are bisexual. roger experimented in college and was comfortable in his identity, but isn't really open about it since he got married. corey is still figuring himself out when the affair starts, but he's had a lot of crushes on both men, especially older men, and women.

[contrary to my original fic] i actually think corey was 20 when he starts working for the allens, while roger is in his mid 40s.

roger starts an affair for the classic, all american reason: his marriage has gotten boring. he wants an affair with someone younger and more exciting who will let him play out his fantasy of still being in his prime.

i don't think he has sinister or malicious intentions when he "seduces" corey. maybe he's just defending his own actions, but corey is an adult, if he didn't want to do anything then he wouldn't, right? corey clearly has a crush, right?

corey really, genuinely respects the allens' marriage.

not only does corey respect the allens as a couple (the ideal american marriage when compared with his mom and ronald), but he also really respects roger. i don't think (at that point) corey would "whore himself out" for a man he didn't respect.

deep down, corey is aware of how this all looks. he knows he's being a homewrecker.

but another part of him feels like he's doing something good. if roger was going to cheat, surely it's better that he does it with corey, than with someone else who doesn't care about his marriage.

another motivation for why corey gives in so easily is that his life is so controlled and there is so much pressure on him, he just wants an outlet to forget about everything. think gifted kid to dumbification kink pipeline.

he doesn't want to think about anything at all, and roger makes it so he doesn't have to. makes it so that his mind is empty and all he has to do is lie there and let himself feel good. it's an offer he won't can't pass up.

roger used to watch corey do yard work from the kitchen window, when he was at home. the sight made him stay home on the weekend a lot more.

even though a lot of their affair is based on convenience, roger can very much see how handsome corey is.

roger loves making corey laugh, because his laugh loud and childish. and he means it to, roger can tell he isn't faking.

mrs allen is rarely mentioned, beyond whether she is home or not, and where she is if she isn't home. both of them have a guilty conscience about her.

roger starts to wonder, is corey like this with everyone he works for? does he put on an elaborate act of "awkward, blushing virgin" -- is he actually sleeping with all the people he does yard work for? and he acts all innocent because he knows it gets people going?

corey understands he's being used. he knows this isn't a "relationship" and roger definitely isn't going to leave his family for him or anything like that, they're not going to be together, so he tells himself that he's just going to enjoy it while it lasts.

but in saying that, corey definitely fell in love a little bit.

corey's isn't your "classic" attention whore, but he is one all the same. he never had a dad and now this older man is showing him a lot of (special) attention? he'll do anything to keep it.

what can he say, he has some intense daddy issues. being wanted by an older man satiates that for a while.

plus it makes him feel like he has some control in his life. and makes him feel like an adult where he doesn't at home. it feels so grown up to have an affair.

roger doesn't know everything about corey's home life, but he thinks he understands, from what corey tells him when he's feeling vulnerable. he knows corey is lonely and stressed; a resentful momma's boy.

corey tells him about his college plans; he wants to be an engineer, wants to go to a school in chicago. if anything, roger feels an affection for him. he wants corey to find a better life for himself.

in all honesty, corey doesn't really know much about roger either. he sees him as this ideal family man, father figure and partner. he's so caught up in that, and so validated by his attention, that he forget he doesn't really know him. he knows one side of him.

roger still pays corey money for doing "yard work". corey does still do that, to keep up appearances, but he's less thorough than he used to be. they both know what the money is really for.

corey tells himself he doesn't care about the money. he needs it, but that's not what he's having this affair for.

he's selling himself (or letting himself be bought) for affection more than money.

subconsciously, it does mess him up a little bit though.

roger's thoughts about corey possibly putting on an act lose all their credit after the first few times they do anything. there's no way corey is faking this sort of earnest inexperience.

because corey is very nervous and shy at first. he's so inexperienced and he doesn't want to embarrass himself. mostly he just let's roger do whatever he wants to him.

they always have their trysts at the allen house.

at first it's at the weekend when corey is there to do the yard and mrs allen and jeremy aren't at home, but then roger starts inviting corey around more, still when mrs allen and jeremy are out (lucky for them, his wife and child have busy social lives).

roger starts finding more time to be at home when corey can be there, working from home when he can. think blow jobs while on a zoom meeting.

roger drinks heineken, pretty much all of their hook ups begin with them having a drink, even before corey hits 21.

corey's about to get a pavlov response to the sound of beer bottles clinking together.

the first few times, they only kiss. then it gets more hot and heavy, dry humping and grinding, a hand job here and there. roger teaches corey how to give head. he fingers him to get him used to the feeling because he's never done this before. they stay in the kitchen or on the couch.

the first time corey ever sucked dick, it took him a while to take it down all the way, even with roger guiding him through it.

his eyes water and roger wipes away the tears that spill over, his other hand always in his hair.

he gets good though, very good, even though he's nervous every time. roger secretly likes that nervous look, it's such a contrast to how he actually takes it like a champ. call him the king of sloppy toppy. and he always swallows.

the first time corey got a blow job he cried. just like he did with all of his other firsts. it's actually kind of rare that roger gives corey head. corey'd rather give than receive with oral, he thinks, but really roger is just kind of selfish.

roger took corey's virginity. sometimes he even feels guilty about it.

corey cried. he tried not to, he really did, but he couldn't help it. the stretch was more than he expected, even with a lot of prep and he'd never felt so full before.

("just the tip," roger had promised, to see if he could take it. it felt okay, corey had nodded to keep going but didn't realise how overwhelming it'd be)

roger pets his hair, kisses his temple, strokes his dick to try and and calm him down. it starts feeling good, really good and too much all at once.

condoms? never heard if them. it's not like roger can knock him up and they're both clean so roger never even suggests it.

corey loses his virginity in the allens' bed. after that, they pretty much always do it in the bedroom.

missionary is their usual position, though sometimes corey rides cowgirl because roger likes seeing him do all the work to get himself there.

roger doesn't really do dirty talk, corey seems too innocent for that sort of thing (in the beginning anyway). he does dole out the praise though.

"good boy" "you're so good for me" "you're taking me so well, look at you" "it's okay, i've got you"

their sex life is pretty vanilla to be honest. roger isn't into anything particularly kinky, and corey hasn't figured himself out that far yet.

the thrill of "we shouldn't be doing this" is enough.

while praise is the main thing corey likes, he's also into overstimulation (once he deals with the actually overwhelming aspect of the first few time), something like dumbification (without the more objectifying aspects), and he is more than willing to do a little bit of begging. roger tries a little bit of teasing degradation on occasion, but corey doesn't like it that much; he doesn't want to feel like he's doing something wrong or he isn't good enough.

the riskiest thing they ever did was have a quickie while jeremy was at home. corey was there to do the yard (and more), but jeremy is unexpectedly at home because his playdate got cancelled. jeremy is playing upstairs in his room and when corey comes back inside from the garden, mr allen corners him in the kitchen.

he nudges corey up onto the counter, a hand going down the front of his shorts.

corey whimpers and shakes his head, "jeremy's --"

"upstairs," mr allen finishes his sentence for him, "he won't be down for a while - kids and their computers- don't worry about it."

slowly corey starts to get more comfortable and confident during their escapades, he leans into what he knows roger wants. someone young and playful who can give him a run for his money, but who will always give in, in the end.

he starts having fun, like he's playing the role of someone more confident and sexy and teasing.

roger sometimes sends him upstairs to get ready while he grabs them some beers and locks the front door. corey does as he's told, stripping off and laying in mr allen's bed and when he walks in, corey smiles at the older man, legs spread wantonly, "see anything you like?"

roger is initially surprised at how malleable and easy corey is to manhandle when he wants to be. roger is taller by a few inches, but corey had broad shoulders and broad hips, he isn't waifish by any means. roger likes how boyishly masculine corey is.

corey is very, very good at keeping secrets. he's so used to his mom's snooping and meddling that he's perfected the art of hiding things from her. and really, who else is he going to tell?

the hardest part is hiding any marks on his skin. corey is carefully not to leave any on roger, but roger doesn't always extend the same courtesy.

joan has an annoying habit of just walking into corey's room, or even the bathroom while he's in the shower, without knocking to collect his washing or talk to him or interrogate him, so he has to be careful she doesn't see anything like a hickey ln his neck or bruises on his hips or else he'll never, ever hear the end of it.

corey is a stickler for punctuality. he is always home in time for dinner. there have been a few close calls where they lost track of time and corey needed to bike hard as hell to get home on time.

a random thing corey was unnecessarily embarrassed about was that he only wears tighty-whiteys, and not even a good brand, they are classic fruit of the loom. roger literally doesn't care, it's even kind of endearing. and the darker part of him gets a thrill out of it, knowing corey's mom still buys and probably washes his underwear while corey is here getting his brains fucked out.

speaking of that darker side of roger. he knows corey is an adult, capable of making his own decisions, but there's something about him being so dependent that does something to him.

[i'm not sure if i really believe they'd go this far, but i don't think it's out of the realm of possibility] roger takes corey out of town for a dirty weekend. corey lies to his mom, roger lies to theresa.

this dirty weekend is a turning point for their sex life.

with no time constraints, they go so many rounds they start losing count.

still nothing particularly wild, but things mrs allen wouldn't do.

corey already fulfilled one of those things for him, of course. theresa would never let him do anal.

the rest are more mundane things, like doggy style and wake up blow jobs and shower sex. even just the sense of free use that means they keep going and going and going.

corey isn't delusional (he swears he isn't), but he turns off his brain for the weekend and imagines this is his real life. with roger spending money like it was nothing, on a fancy as fuck hotel room and hundreds of dollars of room service, and having all the time in the world to laze around in bed watching movies and having zero expectations placed on him.

the boldest and hottest thing corey did on that trip was pull roger's wedding ring off with his teeth when he put his fingers in his mouth to get wet. even corey doesn't know what possessed him to do that, but the way roger practically fold him in half to fuck him afterwards, he's glad for the divine inspiration.

that is also the first time they literally sleep together after having sex, and they end up getting, perhaps dangerously, sentimental. corey just wants to be held and roger is much too gentle with him for someone who claims this is just a casual fling.

in corey's fantasies when he's alone in bed, he gets off on the forbidden nature of the affair, but it never really translates to their actual encounters.

he thinks about how he does things for mr allen that mrs allen wouldn't, thinks about saying it one day because he knows it'd drive roger crazy.

"i bet your wife doesn't feel this good, does she?" "she doesn't moan like i do" "she doesn't let you ruin her".

he'd never say any of that out loud, and it leads to some of his meaner and more delusional daydreams.

selfish. corey knows deep down that he's selfish. He doesn't want to think about mrs allen or jeremy, and he wants to be mr allen's one and only. he'd let mr allen do anything to him and he knows he'd love him so well if he got the chance.

but that is never going to happen, of course. corey knows that.

corey swings between those selfish daydreams and feeling guilty. mrs allen is really nice, he doesn't want to wreck her marriage. but is it really hurting anyone, if no one ever finds out?

the final time they fuck before the accident was on the weekend before halloween.

neither of them showed any indication of wanting to stop anytime soon. if it weren't for the accident, the affair could have gone on for months more, maybe even a year -- until corey went to college.

everything that weekend was normal, their usual routine. corey raked some leaves and then got railed.

if only they knew that would be their last time, maybe they could have savoured it.

roger is the one who suggests calling corey on halloween when their babysitter cancels on them. theresa is sceptical -- she doesn't know corey that well -- but roger makes a convincing case.

he knows corey is a good, responsible kid, and it's only for a few hours. he trusts corey.

post-accident

after the accident, they never speak. roger barely even says anything while they wait for the ambulance and the cops.

the trial is long and roger watches corey but they never interact beyond being in the same courtroom.

theresa had yelled at him outside the courthouse and roger had just held her, watching as ronald acted as a buffer between corey and anyone who tried to get close, mostly the press. he bundles him in the back of their car before they start the long drive back to warren county.

a horrible, selfish part of roger is relieved that corey never told anyone about the affair. no one who mattered anyway. he might of told his therapist, but nothing could would come of it now, he thinks.

as it happens, corey never did tell anyone. not his therapist, not the cops, certainly not his mother.

he doesn't think anyone would believe him, even if he did.

roger sees corey around town. a lot. sometimes he thinks about talking to him, but he holds steady. corey killed his son, he tells himself.

(jeremy's death is the penance he has to pay for his infidelity, he thinks)

corey takes the "break up" really hard. not only is he wracked with guilt over jeremy's death, but in a single moment, his relationship with roger is over. all that attention and affection and comfort, even just having someone to alleviate the physical need of getting off, is gone.

when mrs allen rips into him at the bar, corey's stomach drops thinking she might of found out about the affair in the years since. but no, she just hasn't forgiven him for killing her baby.

the first time they speak in four years is when roger picks corey up the morning after he meets michael.

corey isn't thinking clearly. something happened to him, something that changed everything.

roger hasn't spoken to him in years, but corey knows what he wants. it's the only thing he ever wanted from him.

he's resentful that roger tries to act like he doesn't want sex, then still feels resentful when it turns out he does.

where once corey had been shy and virginal, now he doesn't care. he's not been with anyone for a long time, something is happening to him that he doesn't understand and he wants, just for a while, to have something familiar. so he just lets himself let go.

part of him is trying to process his sudden and dangerous attraction to michael, by going back to his "first love", safe and familiar mr allen.

roger is meaner now. if corey can be -- bringing up theresa in the way he does -- then so can he. he's been through a lot. he deserves to take it out on corey, especially when corey is offering himself up.

it's rough and roger knows it must hurt, at least a little bit, but corey doesn't slow down.

when corey sleeps with allyson, he thinks about how different it is this way around. wonders if this is how it felt for mr allen when he fucked him.

post-michael

corey has absolutely nothing left to lose. a combination of stress and past trauma and an untreated concussion causes him to snap.

after killing those kids -- those fucking kids -- and that dj and his momma, and with michael in tow, he finds mr allen one more time.

(he begs michael to stay outside, he wants to do this one all on his own)

he knocks on the door, "can i talk to you?", roger lets him in, because what's the harm.

corey says everything he wishes he'd said before, that morning when mr allen picked him up and they fucked in that empty lot.

he screams and yells and blames everything on roger. getting more and more nonsensical as he goes on. working himself up to just do it --

"-- it's all your fault, everything that happened is because of you. you only asked me to babysit because you'd been fucking me behind your wife's back and you knew i'd drop everything to help you, you knew i'd do it and - and i did and then everything went wrong and - and it's your fault and you never fucking loved me, you never --"

roger thinks corey is having a mental breakdown (which in a way, he very much is)

so he just stands there and takes it, letting corey get out whatever he needs to before he can take him home to his mom or call the cops or whatever.

corey takes a deep breath and leans forward. pulls roger to him and kisses him. it's messy and desperate. corey's hands twisted in roger's shirt.

then, so much like that first kill, corey stabs him. the blood gushes over his hand and roger gasps like he's been winded.

corey doesn't break the kiss, though roger isn't even an active participant anymore. he pulls his hand back and stabs him again. and again. and again.

he only pulls away when roger crumples, unable to hold his own weight. blood pools around corey's feet on the cream carpet.

corey wipes the tears from his face that he didn't even notice had fallen and goes back outside to find michael.

[xoteajays]

My sleep habits are extremely erratic... That never changed about me either. So I sleep whenever I'm tired, and wake up whenever I wake up - which is common knowledge. I am more toward being a crepuscular and nocturnal person, rather than a diurnal person. So nothing wrong in the day time for me. But it's usually quieter at night for me to enjoy.

But I haven't been getting properly sleep lately. So that's irritating me lately.. Maybe that's why I have been more annoyed than I usually am.

~

As for drugs.. Well. Obviously people were smoking cigarettes, Hyuga smoking whatever he was smoking too. I'm not sure if that could be a tobacco or some other product that I don't know yet. But, for Redrum though, there might have been one vague scene with drugs when the Rascals were in a meeting with Rocky about the drugs - they mention how customers were trying to convince the women to take the drugs. Maybe like cocaine? I think. Redrum might be a drug you could either snort or lick, consuming the drug in that way. The only scene I can be able to think of. If I actually remember the scenes correctly anyway.

I could send you personalities of the seasons and card suits that may help defining your characters. But I'll send a separate message for it.

But depending on what happens with Alice In Borderland, who knows if you won't get inspiration for another story. Maybe. Or.. I don't know.

Exactly! I love the Oya boys. But I also even love the Sannoh, Rascals, Rude and Daruma boys too.. Those boys needed more scenes for me. And you. Those boys actually needed more love than what happened. What the fuck. I wish we had more of them. But we're stuck with DTC instead. I like Tettsu to an extent, but never Dan or Chiharu though.

Did you see the H&L posts I sent you? Mainly the gifs of the Daruma's gambling business and the women working there. I sent that to you.

~

I was going to say something vulgar.. But just forget that. Nevermind.

So that.. He's taking on an undercover job from a completely different faction for his promotion. But only that department knows about, but not anyone who should know about the job. Like his wife for example.

And so the gang boss has a picture, a fake picture, of a man who he's thinking is her husband but he's not the real husband. So now the big bad mafia boss is showing the real husband pictures of fake husband to compare him with the husband. So basically, he wants to fuck her.

That's a whole dick measuring contest. Men are so stupid in this way.

I was only a baby when these events happened.

When it comes to expressing negative emotions towards any person.. I avoid crying in public. But I will scream, shrieking, cursing toward so many people. I may even try throwing things at them if they anger me too, or make any attempts to maim those people in some way if I can.

So I might really have a tempered when my boundaries are crossed.. I am around stupid people all the time. But I can control my temper for the most part, but I will snap if someone crosses my boundaries too.

I choose violence.

And, like Vincenzo, my wine glass broke on me.. I need new glasses.

That's what I thought? Because there are some businesses like that in America. I've actually known some people who live in the apartments connected to their businesses. My grandmother's salon also had only a single apartment above the salon, but she never lived there, but she should have though. And my uncle's friend had his apartment over an entire restaurant - his restaurant, so he never really went far for work.

So I know there are buildings like that. But an entire building seems a bit weird to me. But also kind of convenient in apocalyptic situations.

I've been rewatching All Of Us Are Dead.. Halloween season is here so I wanted to start watching some horror media. Which also include the zombie creatures. That made me think of eighth episode of Vincenzo.

So. There are actors I recognize in the show. Yoon Byung-hee's one of gym teachers, he's actually in Vincenzo as one of the lawyers working with Vincenzo. He's the nerdy looking lawyer always following Vince.

Jeon Bae-sso is On-jo's father, he was also in the show The K2 which was the show that Ji Chang-wook starred in (who is the police officer in Worst Of Evil). And in The King: Eternal Monarch with Do-hwan.. A show I have yet to watch. But I really had to confirm the actors first.

The actor of Gwi-nam seems about the same height as any male cast in the show (for the taller male characters). And he does seem like his height towards over some of the female cast for the most part since I remembered you asked about that before. Or something like that.

But now that I'm rewatching the show, I'm remembering many details as I'm just watching it. So it's actually refreshing my memory now any time a scene comes on, the characters or things to help remember it.

i’m just a tired girl. just sleepy 24/7. at night, my brain can barely shut up for long enough to sleep well. just blahblahblahs until i pass out sometime around midnight or very early in the am most nights.

~

the smoking i remember, but i don’t recall anyone actually took the redrum drug. idk enough about drugs to guess what kind of way redrum’s taken. since it seems like a ‘party drug’, maybe it could be eaten?

if they introduce some new characters, i might find someone to make an oc for. will just have to see when new information comes out.

they introduced a bunch of new characters for rascals and daruma with the smg and the babies, but then didn’t have the chance to do any with them! so yea, would’ve liked to see more of the other gangs. maybe another season as opposed to a movie.

i saw those posts! the gambling den has a such a cool aesthetic and the girls are so pretty. also every time i see those pics of hyuga on his car, all i can think is that he’d slide right off the hood if they stopped too quickly. it’s so dangerous what’s wrong with him

i’ll be keeping that other ask about the seasons and card suits saved in my inbox. so i can look at it later. thank you!

~

yes, no one else knows. just the other department guy and his boss above him since the cop is working close with them for information. not the cop’s actual division boss or his wife.

oh he absolutely wants to fuck her. he’s still totally in love with her. he ragged on her husband for being a countryside cop and that she should’ve married someone rich to live in luxury (read: the gang boss is a rich man). he also found out her mother was in hospital and brought her an expensive cashmere shoulderwrap and took her out for a walk and lied that he wasn’t a criminal like rumours were saying about him. also he got confused for her son-in-law by one of the nurses and the SMILE on his face! insane. insane man. and the cop can do NOTHING because he’s undercover and trying to get close to the boss.

i was not even born. my mother wasn’t even pregnant with me. i think my parents might’ve just gotten married.

i’ve absolutely cried in public. like probably more than once. i’ve cried at my workplace. i’m a huge baby and sometimes i just can’t hold it back. that’s the problem with burying emotions i guess. i’m very good at not yelling in public tho, can shut that down real quick and keep it in my head. very good at walking away from situations.

i don’t drink wine. never enjoyed the taste. i’m more of a rum and coke girl. so don’t have to worry about thin, more fragile glasses with that. i also just. can’t drink vodka. it makes me throw up every time. drank too much of it when i was 18 (legal age in aus).

i’m sure there’s some places like that in australia, but i don’t know of any around my area. a lot of smaller businesses where i live are stacked up. like where i went to therapy had completely different businesses above and below in the same building.

i haven’t gotten around to watching anything else, i’ve been busy with worst of evil and playing pokemon and writing another karube/niragi fanfic because i’ve been neglecting them and the s3 announcement brought me back.