#for one reason or another it just does not happen
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Added another chapter, here we goooo ~~
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Tim stepped out of the Batcave to grab himself a coffee. He was gone for 10 minutes.
So tell him why as soon as he closes the entrance, he's accosted with the sound of Jason and Damian bickering over the bat computer. The computer he’d been using for the past 5 hours to try and solve an ongoing trafficking ring.
“I told you my fucking number and I’m no liar,” Jason grumbles.
“Shut it Todd, I’m concentrating.”
Why does this always happen to Tim? What god did he piss off enough to regularly put him in the room when his brothers are arguing? What did he do to deserve such slander??
“You wouldn't have to concentrate if you just believed me-” Jason snaps, as Tim starts to make his way down the staircase, quietly stepping between shadows to avoid being seen.
“I refuse to believe that you’ve killed that many people since you were revived.”
“I’mma crime lord, brat. I’ve killed a lot of fucking people. Not to mention the Pit Rage.”
When Tim gets his first peak of the Bat Computer, he doesn't know why he bothered to be sneaky. At a first glance, Jason looks casually relaxed, his feet up on the desk, but his shoulders are tight and his attention is focused on whatever the hell Damian is doing.
Did Tim mention that he didn’t like where this is going? He would like it on record that he doesn't like this one bit.
“Pit Rage or not, that’s a preposterous number.”
“And that’s a good enough reason to hack into the Watchtower for all the information they have on the League of Assassins?”
Oh shit. Oh fuck .
“Father has encrypted folders stored in their databases holding detailed information pertaining to the League of Assassins." Damian sniffs, "If the information we seek is anywhere, it’ll be there.”
Nope, Tim is definitely not a fan of this development. He’d been meaning to see if he could get to that particular file and erase all mentions of Ra’s obsession with him. Tim just hadn’t gotten around to it.
“And you’re what? Going to hack past Oracle?”
“No,” Damian scoffs, “I know the password.”
Tim scrambles for his phone. It’s not his favorite device to hack from but dammit, needs must.
"How the hell did you manage that?"
"As if I'd tell you."
“Sneaky little shit.” Jason sounds begrudgingly impressed.
For a few moments, the cave is filled with the sound of aggressive typing, before Damian makes a small, pleased noise.
“I’m in.”
From this angle he can’t see what Damian typed, but Tim has been breaking into shit he shouldn’t for longer than he should have been able to. He’s just gotta get in before they can download something they shouldn’t.
“Great, where’s the LOA files? Do they even have the LOA files?”
“Of course they do, the watchtower is updated on every major server-”
Tim frantically pulls up backdoors and firewall scanners, hoping he can slip his way inside despite not being connected to a direct network.
“What’s that?”
“We have a task, Todd. Try to stay focused.”
“No, go back. I’ve never seen that before.”
Damian scoffs, but returns to a file labeled, 'The Detective - Project Failed’
See, this is why Tim can’t have nice things. Every time he lets his guard down for even a second, a meddling brother fucks it up for him. Truly a tragic life he leads.
“It’s nothing important. Clearly it wasn’t successful-”
“Open it.”
“This is not a leisurely perusement of information, Todd. We have a task to fulfill.”
“The file was created two years ago. That’s too recent to have been Bruce.”
Damian pauses, cursor hovering over the file. Tim hopes with everything he has that the kid will ignore Jason’s request.
But of course, because the universe hates him, Damian clicks it.
The Detective
Age: 17
Height: 5’6”
Weight: 131 lbs
"I fucking told you it wasn't Batman. That's Robin levels of scrawny."
"I applaud your clearly superior intellect, Todd." Damian drawls.
"Who the hell taught you sarcasm?"
“I didn’t need to be taught, unlike some.”
“Bullshit.”
“I don't see how this is relevant.”
ABILITIES:
Trained by Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, Lady Shiva
Martial arts disciplines including but not limited to:
Kung Fu, Aikido, Jeet Kune Do, Escrima, Krav Maga, Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Wing Chun, Hapkido, Karate, Savate, Kendo, Ninjitsu, Tai Chi, Leopard Kung Fu and Biangan.
Prefered Weapon
Bow staff
Highly skilled combatant
Master Detective, Tactician, and Strategist
Gifted Intellect
Excels in computer science and inventions
Firm grasp of assorted scientific techniques including biology, engineering genetics, forensic, criminology, acrobatics, stealth, disguise, and escapology.
"So I know I made a joke about this being a Robin, but…" Jason trails off.
"These descriptions are too specific." Damien agrees.
AFFILIATIONS:
Batman and his associates
Leader of Young Justice
Leader of Teen Titans
Justice League associates
League of Assassins associates
"Which fucking Robin worked with Ra's of all people?"
"I am the heir of-"
"Tell me when exactly you lead Young Justice."
“Tch.” Damain scoffs.
PERSONAL CONNECTIONS:
Janet Drake (Mother): Dead
Jack Drake (Father): Dead
Eddie Drake (Uncle): Fake Identity
"Oh fuck ." Jason breathes.
ALIAS:
Timothy (Tim) Jackson Drake-Wayne
Robin - Boy Wonder
Red Robin
The Detective
Alvin Draper
"What kind of alias is Alvin ? What the fuck?"
History:
Defeated King Snake (assisted)
Defeated Clusmaster (alone)
Escaped Bane and Killer Croc (alone)
Defeated Firefly (alone)
'Zero Hour'
Defeated KGBeast (alone)
Kidnapped by Zeus - (escaped alone)
First contact with LOA - apocalypse virus
Defeated Cluemasrer (alone)
Lead Young Justice
'No Man's Land'
Defeated Mr. Freeze and Ratcatcher (alone)
Defeated Darkseid (assisted)
'Titans Tomorrow'
Defended Bludhaven from OMAC's (assisted)
Defeated Secret Society of Super Villains (assisted)
Reassembled Teen Titans
Defeated Obeah Man (alone)
LOA affiliation - Objective: [REDACTED]
“No fucking way.” Jason breathes, and judging by Damain’s silence, he shares Jason’s sentiment.
Tim’s frantic typing is yielding no results. Fuck .
“I didn’t think the kid had it in him.”
“I was not aware that Drake was so… versatile in his skills.”
“That’s a fancy fucking way of saying he’s got a rap sheet longer than Santa’s naughty list.”
“He didn’t strike me as the type to work with Grandfather.”
“Yeah, no shit. When did that even happen?”
“By the dates, it would have been during Father’s disappearance into the time stream.”
“ Oh my fucking god .”
Classification: Potential Heir
Mission Success Rate: 98%
Active Member: N/A
Time of Service: 1y 2m 15d
Kill Count: 8,528
“That number can’t possibly be right.”
“Holy fuck, that’s a higher kill count than me .”
“I refuse to believe this. We need more evidence.” Damian states, scrolling down to the detailed notes.
“He blew up a League base?”
“Not just one. He blew up 7.”
“I don’t understand how he would have had the information-”
Tim’s phone vibrates as finally gains access to the Watchtower. It’s too late to have kept his brothers from seeing what they did, but that doesn’t mean he can’t bury his file.
“It says he that he was favored by Ra’s and… that bastard wanted him to be the next Demon’s Head? What the hell did Timmy do ?”
“I don’t understand.”
The data starts disappearing, and Tim clears his throat. His brothers turn around, staring wide-eyed at Tim’s blank face.
His heart is in his throat and his hands are shaking, but he forces a smirk.
“No one will ever believe you.”
Tim turns and sprints for the door.
Without the copies stored away in the watchtower database, his brothers will be hard-pressed to come up with proof about his crimes and really, he’s heard far too many comments about him being one of the more morally sound people in the family, so it’s not likely that his brothers will be taken seriously, but he's not sticking around long enough to get caught.
Tim’s escape lasts about five minutes.
It’s an epic five minutes, there’s a lot of sick flips and narrow misses involved, but by the end of it, the entire family is on the chase.
Which, Tim thinks wryly, is just fucking perfect as he wheezes under the weight of 200 pounds of sheer muscle.
“You have some fucking explaining to do, Timbo.” The jerk that’s currently crushing all of the air out of Tim’s lungs says, but all Tim can do is wheeze.
The weight lifts and oh . Fuck . Yeah, no wonder Tim was on the verge of breaking a rib, Jason was the one who tackled him.
Rude. Tim weighs like. A third of him. The man could at least pretend to use some constraint.
“Tell me why,” Jason starts in a dangerously low tone, “You have the highest kill count in this family.”
Tim tilts his head, the picture of innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“ Bull. Shit . Damian and I saw the fucking file. Deleting it doesn't change the facts.”
Tim's expression doesn't falter. He’s been rubbing elbows with high society since before he could walk. He’s well practiced in a poker face. “What file?”
Jason lunges for him.
A short scuffle later finds both Tim and Jason separated, Bruce with an arm across Jason’s chest and Dick bodily hauling Tim off the ground.
"What's going on?"
Ah shit, that's Bruce's Batman voice.
"Tim has a kill count higher than me." Jason immediately spits, the snitch.
"He worked with Grandfather."
"He blew up 7 league bases."
Every gaze in the room lands on Tim, and he sighs, admitting defeat and slumping in the hold Dick has him in. Damn the man and his octopus arms.
It was a good run. But the gig is up.
"I was in a… bad headspace." He shrugs ruefully, "Black Canary once told me that shared misery is halved misery.”
“Your ‘bad headspace’ lead to blowing up 7 League bases ?”
Tim shrugs. “In my defense, Ra’s is an asshole who has my spleen in a jar. I think he deserves it.”
The arms tighten around Tim, “He has what -”
”Your spleen ?”
“That does sound indicative of Grandfather’s behavior.”
“What the actual fuck, replacement.”
"You have some serious explaining to do." Bruce says, tone authoritative with no room for argument.
Tim sighs. He just wanted coffee.
An opinion. Jason was the only batkid who did not come with a pre-installed Kill option, that was downloaded, after death, while he was with the League. Dick, Tim and Damian, tho, they came with it, and Bruce had to learn to manually turn it off.
99% success rate with Dick and Damian.
76% success rate with Tim who has not killed anybody, but has contemplated it way too many times for Bruce to be comfortable with.
Edit: for all the people who keep saying "But Tim blew up the League bases with so many people," listen, if Bruce doesn't know, it didn't happen. Don't go snitching on my boy like that.
#tim being a mass murder is my favorite troupe#tim drake is a menace#batman#dc#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#damian wayne#robin#tim drake#red robin#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbrothers#batbros#batdad#headcanon
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“Obedient Soldier”
[A phrase uttered by Sephiroth in Scene 07-06. As this line indicates, Sephiroth in BC (Before Crisis) was regularly obedient to orders, such as defending the Mako canon and protecting Hojo. Therefore, Shinra valued the worth of Sephiroth's loyalty and treated him like a hero.]
-Keyword Collection, CC Complete Guide, p. 285
“Until then, I will be an obedient soldier of Shinra…”
He uses the term “従順な“ which is described above. He willfully submits himself to Shinra’s authority regularly in spite of inner turmoil and reluctance much of the time.
I see more of this with every update in The First Soldier. Sephiroth calls it his only job. You would say then “Yes, and he is paid for it and treated like a hero! That is why he obeys!”
First. Where is this interest in money? And who is to say he receives it? He was raised and trained by Shinra from his boyhood days. His lack of interest in money is said clearly.
Angeal might have partially misjudged him for it too in chapter one of episode 2 when Bachman asked Sephiroth’s opinion on the situation in Robio:
Sephiroth: “Search for the missing troops. Don’t interfere with the filming. Anything else is not my job.”
Angeal: “You’re a stingy guy.”
Sephiroth: “What?”
Angeal: ”There’s no harm in experiencing things. Don’t just consider profit gain and loss.”
Sephiroth: “That’s not the reason.”
Angeal: “Then tell me what it is.”
Sephiroth: “….”
(Japanese translation) (*Note about the nuance here at the bottom of the post!)
There is another reason Sephiroth focuses so narrowly on his job but he does not want to state it. He does not want to explain why he focuses on nothing else. Why?
His disinterest in money itself was more obviously stated in episode one:
Matt: “We'll have to talk about the distribution of the reward money… fortunately, he (Sephiroth) doesn't seem to care about money.”
Money is not the reason for Sephiroth’s loyalty to Shinra then. You might then say it’s because they treated him as a hero! Like as it was said in the Guide, they valued his loyalty and dealt with him as a hero. But where is it stated that Sephiroth wants that either? No, it is the opposite.
Sephiroth: ”I don’t want to be a hero. I want to live a normal life…”
Glenn: “What did you say?”
Sephiroth: “Nothing. It’s never going to happen.”
But Sephiroth! Since you are a hero, Shinra must spoil you and treat you well? They must give you so much! Is that why you stay with that defeated resignation?
Perhaps you have authority and respect within the military! The fandom has always called him the General….
Ignore that you see the cameras he hates, the false propaganda he knows about, his low sense of self-worth, how he sees himself as a cyborg killer that does not deserve friends. He never experienced the sensation of joy and fun with others until he met Glenn’s team. Ignore that he was trained to be afraid and heartless. Forget that he has memories of Hojo’s pain and training.
And authority?
“Very sorry. We cannot follow orders from others outside of the normal chain of command.”
These are just infantrymen.
Sephiroth’s ability to refuse orders in Crisis Core was also an unofficial privilege that existed under Lazard’s generous command. If it were Heidegger, no privilege like that would have existed and Sephiroth would have had to kill Genesis and Angeal in Banora. Lazard, a man already disloyal to Shinra, had to be in command for that point in Crisis Core to exist.
“Also, there may or may not be a right to veto orders...It seems to be just unofficial though..”
-Kunsel to Zack, CC DMW flashback
Angeal Hewley is also made team leader over “Shinra’s hero” in episode 2 of The First Soldier. Years later Angeal still gives orders to Sephiroth that the hero follows. Sephiroth’s authority inside Shinra is not like a general or even a captain.
Not that then. Perhaps you are living a lavish lifestyle, hero?
….ah, but do I even need to explain why this one is nonsense when this boy was isolated and brought up by Hojo?
”Mom? Why are you in my bedroom?”
-Sephiroth, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.
A lab cell near to where Aerith and Ifalna were held as prisoners?
“I’ve never had many opportunities to interact with people.”
-Sephiroth, chapter five, The First Soldier Episode 1, Japanese.
He would not have in the environment Hojo gave him.
“I am a SOLDIER that was raised to stand on the battlefield. SOLDIERs are worthless unless they are strong in body and mind.”
-Sephiroth, chapter five, The First Soldier Episode 1, Japanese.
“You and I grew up in different worlds. The day we understand each other will never come.”
-Sephiroth to Angeal, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.
Hojo is who raised him like this! In isolation and cruelty!
“I am the only one who can speak to Professor Hojo freely at any time, who researches the limits of our SOLDIER abilities…”
-Sephiroth to Angeal, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.
Did that Halloween event not show us the deeper horror beneath these other horrors? And who they were connected to?
Hojo: “Endure the pain, Sephiroth. You’re not at your limit yet. The more you endure, the more of your hidden strength will awaken.”
Glenn: Hey! Hang in there!
Sephiroth: “I’m sorry. I was suddenly in a lot of pain, but I’m alright now.”
Glenn: “Don’t be so strong!! Rest! Rest! Don’t push yourself so hard just because you’re the team leader!! Just relax!
Sephiroth: “….I’ve never heard anything like that before. It’s just the reverse of what the professor said…”
(Japanese translation)
Who would have ingrained such deep loyalty into the world’s strongest SOLDIER so well other than his father Hojo? Sephiroth does not speak of leaving Shinra until he is close to 25 years. He was shaken when Elfe questioned why he fought and if it was for any reason. He responds to a command from his friend Genesis on immediate instinct.
He is conditioned. That is why he was an obedient soldier to Shinra and why he stayed with them even when he hated his life. He was afraid. Of them and of Hojo!
The First Soldier will only keep showing this. Sephiroth’s friends were his chain to mental stability. When they left and died, he became vulnerable again and Nibelheim was timed just right. How much grief and anger must he have felt learning about how deep the use of his body and mind had gone? Enough to hate Shinra and soon everything.
Shinra is run by greedy pigs who have their dogs and sheep. They have their SOLDIER recruits, their Turks, their Deepground prisoners, their clueless employees. You will find that among these pawns, there are many who try to leave or question the power keeping them in check and that is because Shinra was not so careful enough to condition and lie to them.
They were careful with Sephiroth though because disloyalty from him would be so dangerous. The story shows this well enough.
Out of all of their abused pawns and attack dogs, Sephiroth was the one chosen to be exploited in front of the world and decorated in hero’s ribbons to cover up the scars. He was lied to about the depth of his abuse and given false hope in his two dear friends. He was trying to claw his way to the light and find himself so that he could be a real hero and protect others but there was no hope for such things. His cage was gilded and when he became aware of it, that boy’s heart was filled with sadness and then anger and then hatred.
His life was DESTROYED by Shinra from the start. His loyalty was sown into him mostly by Hojo. This new episode of The First Soldier has brought this truth further to the light and I do not think it was will stop.
Thank you to those who helped me with this post in DMs!
Notes:
*Angeal’s words in chapter one of FS Episode 2 about Sephiroth’s “stinginess” do have a nuance that I do not want to ignore. He can be talking about money gain/loss but also a whole mindset! His words are broadly referring to a narrow-minded and “Scrooge-ish” view of things where there is not much room for anything outside of Sephiroth’s thin focus. That thin focus is Sephiroth’s assignment and the gain of completing it, which could include profit from Angeal’s perspective and would be a reason to complete a mission if we remember his scene with his parents where that is a discussion. The point is to say that Angeal is not only talking about money, but for this post I focused on that aspect of it because of Sephiroth’s response against the entire assumption and his formerly mentioned lack of interest in money.
#now i will sleep#this was a passionate write up for me#ffvii#final fantasy 7#ff7#ever crisis#the first soldier#sephiroth#crisis core#angeal hewley#glenn lodbrok#professor hojo#shinra#my translations
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So I’ve been sitting on my feelings about the BuckTommy breakup and handling of it for a while, trying to get my thoughts in order. And after a while of thinking on it—and the recent Lou interview dropping making me feel like my feelings are valid—kind of made me want to just blurt them all out and hope for the best. So this is that.
Ultimately the entire handling of the BuckTommy breakup feels cruel. And not just cruel in an intentional way, but cruel in a casually, not even given any thought cruelty, which is worse sometimes. And to be honest, I think that’s part of why I’ve been struggling with it so much. (That and the echoes of Magicians season 4, which if you know you know).
What I mean by cruelty is just the lack of any real effort or care put into this storyline, one that they had previously been handled with so much care and concern and were praised (rightly so) for at the time. It’s the way they introduce this Tommy as Abby’s ex thing, which makes hardly any sense at all, but also feels cruel in the intention of laughing at the invisible string of fate theory between them. It’s they way that they’re 6 months anniversary and not only have they not talked about this, but Buck (Evan Buckley) didn’t get him a gift that feels cruel because that feels so wildly out of character for him. It’s the way they had the break up play into some bisexual stereotypes at best and inherently biphobic at worst by having Maddie suggest Abby turned him gay or that Buck needs to “explore” things to figure out what he wants or that Buck “Doesn’t know what pond to jump back into” of it all. (Not to mention the comments from OS about wanting Buck to fuck—which I’m not getting into because I didn’t read it and as a bisexual woman, don’t feel the need to go and try to find something that might upset me more.)
All those reasons are why the breakup itself is cruel to the characters, but it’s also cruel to those of us watching, and especially to anyone and everyone who loved and/or related to the character of Tommy, who we see walk away much much worse off than when we found him. It’s the way the story (intentionally or not) is framing it like a romcom break up – make up – pining storyline which they apparently are not doing according to interviews. It’s the way they didn’t give any sort of closure to Tommy for the character or for the audience.
There’s a reason that people lose themselves in stories—it’s because they follow certain rules and contracts. It’s expected that stories do not match up to real life because while things don’t have bigger meanings in life or they don’t work out according to plan, in stories, everything happens for a reason. Because that’s the whole point of what you’re consuming. And along with that, emotional moments are meant to feel cathartic in a way, at least eventually, because you were able to see the bigger picture, to feel the finality to things, and to really understand what’s being said and what’s happening. This breakup does none of that and actually seems to have been included and rushed for shock value and that to me, is just shitty, lazy writing.
If you were going to break them up and have no desire for any sort of reunion or closure, why not make it intentional? Tommy could be the one who wants marriage and kids and settling down and Buck internally freaks out because theoretically he wants that but maybe it’s too soon and as much as Tommy loves Buck, he’s not going to wait around and hope that Buck feels the same for him because he’s been hurt too many times like that. Or Tommy could be leaving for another state because he’s no longer going to be a firefighter or needs to go for family reasons or gets a job at a different station that he applied for ages ago and he has everything all set up and isn’t going to ask Buck to leave his entire life for Tommy, so they decide to breakup even if it hurts both of them. In either of those cases, it’s sad and devastating, but at least there would be some closure to it and understanding of it for both the characters and the audience and some peace knowing that at least these two are going to be moving toward happiness in whatever way that means for them.
Instead, what we have, is a hail-mary last-second breakup that comes out of nowhere and feels abrupt and crappy in the way we leave Tommy specifically because we might never see him again. And that is the crux of the issue. Because the way this was written, the understanding is that they are going to get back together or reunion or at least have that final closure conversation—because that’s what happens in stories. We see this type of surprise breakups, breakups where they issue is they love each other too much and are afraid to go further (Athena/Bobby and Maddie/Chimney to name two examples we saw in universe) only to eventually fight to be together and realize that if they don’t take a chance they might never know how amazing it is. So the fact that it’s set up to follow this same path while nearly every interview is telling the opposite, again demonstrates that casual cruelty as well as an inherent failure on the writing. If you have to go in interview and explain what it is you wrote or are telling, then you have failed as a writer. It’s really as simple as that.
This breakup doesn’t feel set up or foreshadowed, it just feels like they added it on because they didn’t want to do anything more with it? And that feels incredibly crappy as a decision to so many people who related to Buck and Tommy and them coming out later in life and all those other things. I’m rambling and on my phone and feeling a lot of things that I can’t fully express right now, but the long and short of it: If this was always intended to be the final time we see Tommy, this breakup is even crueler than intended.
#I just have thoughts and have been thinking about writing this all day so here we are#I don’t know if I’m explaining this well because my thoughts are jumbled and sad#bucktommy#tevan#911 critical#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tim minear#911 abc
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So everyone knows, I am 100% a Buck girl and I will always do my best to be levelheaded when it comes to him. The problem is even when I do that, because of the writing on the show, it is difficult to parse between what I think is actually being done versus how things are looking on screen. And I genuinely am wondering exactly what they are doing and if I am even looking in the right direction.
But let's say they are for whatever reason doing a similar thing they did in 5A with some storylines, like Eddie potentially leaving, Buck dealing with relationship issues, etc. Now, to be honest, I do not like the idea of this kind of parallel mainly because the way I've seen it used is as some sort of gotcha about whether or not a certain ship is happening. So this isn't going to be about that, it's going to be about Buck.
What I think Buck might be doing is he is overcorrecting and thinking that since this relationship is another one that has come to an end, that he shouldn't fight for it. He doesn't realize yet that he can because in his mind, if Tommy doesn't want him, then he shouldn't chase him. The only issue with my line of thinking is are the writers showing this? And if they are, are they doing it right?
I don't particularly think the dialogue is helping. At all. I thought it was cute at first to describe him wanting to call Tommy as craving him, but the more you use the words to describe it as an addiction, the more unhealthy it sounds. So if they are actually saying that Buck is trying to do anything except cling to a relationship he thinks he can't have, why are they saying it that way? Is that what they actually mean?
If Buck is trying not to cling to relationships anymore, then it would be an interesting journey to see him on in 8B. Because I think if he were to try to actually call Tommy while his sister is missing, Eddie is potentially moving, then he wouldn't be calling him for the right reasons. He would be clinging and I don't think he wants to do that. Or so he thinks he is doing when in reality, he just wants his partner to be there for him.
So if he does end up having a brief fling (paralleling Lucy but hey at least he's not cheating on anyone) and realizes that no, this isn't what he wants, he wants Tommy. I could see it eventually being good growth for him to see that just because his life might be a wreck, it doesn't mean at least talking to Tommy means he is trying to cling to something that doesn't work. Because it did work, the communication was just off kilter.
Idk these are just my thoughts on if they are paralleling s5 a little bit, maybe that's what is happening. But at the same time, I would prefer they do something better for all of the characters, especially Buck. Because after eight seasons, the cycle needs to stop. Just let him be happy.
#evan buckley#911#911 spoilers#bucktommy#i mean it mainly is centered on Buck but this is also in the vein of wanting to see him finally talk to Tommy
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Oh absolutely, but you see, I never even wanted her to be queer, I don't need it, and I'm fine saying I like pop. The reason I like her is that I believe she's being genuine in all the messiness she lets show. She believes herself to be tortured, to be tragic, to "keep her side of the street clean" despite of, hmm, also admitting to snitching on a guy that pissed her off to FBI in another song on the same album. I love how sometimes she shows self awareness and that she just doesn't care, she will spell out that yeah, this is low, but I am absolutely going to go there. She does so much of the "this is how much I don't care" circus that shows she cares in multiple different contexts. She made an album with a theme of "I wrote it late at night when drunk" and people loved it, so she made it her aspiration to get worse by genuinely spiraling further down to make the next one. She has similar self-esteem, trust, attachment and emotional stability issues as myself at 16, pre-therapy, learning anything or having any sort of support in my life, except she's a whole ass adult who can wipe her tears off with money and millions of people who tell her she's perfect that way and whatever man it currently is must be the problem, so... it's very funny to me, I have endless love for this tragicomedy happening. She has too much fame and money to ever get better, she will only get worse, and I'll be cheering her on.
can i get permission to say something that could potentially get me killed here and would DEFINITELY get me killed on twitter. am i safe with you here
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I agree with the last Anon they are just friends, they are both in relationships and are both happy, you need to get over it, Lukola is never going to happen, you say you support Luke and Nic, but this is not supporting them as your not supporting their relationships and you call yourself a fan you should be happy for them
Well lookie here another virgin who wouldn’t know a relationship if it touched them on the arm - which for the record no one ever has.
Have you talked to either Luke or Nic personally? Because I haven’t heard either one say they’re “in relationships.” I’ve only heard fans who seem to have a rage boner towards the other claim relationships.
Those who think “Luke would never be attracted to Nic” claim he’s in a relationship. Those who hate Luke for no reason claim she’s in a relationship. It’s honestly disgusting.
That leads me to your comment about their happiness and I can assure you their happiness does not stem from “other serious relationships” - be for real my friend.
You’re so brave coming on here and telling me I need to “get over it” but until the day losers like you come off Anon - I’ll stay under it.
Guess what I can do whatever the fuck I want because I’m an adult with a fully functioning brain and until you have one of those you may want to shhhhh. 🤫
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training partners (pt. 12)
summary: without another word from jack, you and hugh continue your relationship without any issue or distraction. filming comes close to an end and there's one scene that hugh needs your assistance with. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: smut (18+, mdni), lots of oil (duh, someone's gotta lube hugh up for that end scene), dirty talk, teasing, sex in hugh's trailer, oral - f & m receiving, unprotected p in v, swallowing, missionary, hugh covers your mouth (to keep you quiet), implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), no use of y/n. word count: 3.6k a/n: ok, this is complete filth lol. i had to write something about this scene because when hugh said that there were people whose sole job was to lube him up??? well, let's just say my mind went places lol. hope y'all enjoy! (needed some good fluff / smut before we get back into the angst hehe) as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. prev part.
Filming continues and you’re grateful that Jack hasn’t tried to reach out to you nor does he try to look for you either. Knowing that he got the hint that you no longer are giving him control of your life, it gives you relief. You feel like you can finally breathe again, can finally move forward with your life, with Hugh.
Without worrying about Jack coming back, you’re able to get back to enjoying your day-to-day responsibilities of continuing to take photographs on set of the movie. Every day, you wake up feeling immensely grateful for Hugh, Ryan, and Shawn for giving you this opportunity. While you normally take photographs of couples who have recently gotten engaged and have occasionally worked a small wedding, being an on-set photographer and capturing behind the scenes content is so much more enjoyable. It gives you a glimpse of how movies are made, shows you the passion and dedication of each cast and crew member.
But Hugh… you had always been a fan of his work and being able to see him in his element left you speechless every time. The way he’s able to switch into character so easily and become Logan Howlett - a character that you’ve always loved.
Throughout filming, you’re just in awe of everyone on set and to be able to see the movie unfold right before your eyes is an experience that you’re sure will only happen once in a lifetime.
And as the end of filming fast approaches, you embrace every second of every day you’re on set. You find that you fall more in love with Hugh, watching him interact with every single person and making sure that they feel seen and heard - he truly is perfect, and a really good man, and you have to wonder what you did to deserve him.
Hugh hadn’t brought up Jack in months since the last argument you both had and you’re grateful. You never wanted Jack to ever be the reason to get in between you and Hugh. While you feel partially responsible, you have come to realize that it was bound to happen eventually. It was naive to think that Hugh wouldn’t have reacted the way he did.
“So,” Hugh says, pulling you from your thoughts as you both remain lying in bed, limbs entangled after yet another intimate session of lovemaking.
“Hm?” You ask, turning to look over at him as your fingertips run across his bare chest.
“How are we going to go back to New York and not be with each other every night and morning?”
You arch a brow in his direction. You know what he’s implying and he’s just staring at you with a small smile. A hopeful smile. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to have my own space after–,” you tease, trying to keep a straight face.
Hugh narrows his eyes and moves to hover above you, hands grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your heads. You’re both still naked and he makes sure to press his hips into you. You can feel him getting harder and harder by the second.
“Wanna say that again, baby?”
“How are you getting hard again?” You ask, lifting your hips to roll against his.
“You make it easy,” he winks. “Now, don’t go and change the subject.”
“Well, that’s really difficult when you’re literally distracting me!”
Hugh smirks, his grip around your wrist tightening as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. “You ain’t gonna miss me?” He whispers, moving his hips as his tip brush against you. “Not gonna miss sleeping next to me and waking up next to me, baby?”
“Hugh…” your eyes flutter and your legs wrap around his hips, locking your ankles at his lower back. “I will… I will miss you. I was just teasing and–”
Hugh grins and slides into you in one thrust, growling as your walls surround him. “That’s what I thought.”
—
Later that week, you’re staring up at Hugh who’s grinning down at you. You’re in his trailer and he’s already in his Wolverine suit - albeit a little dirtier than when he first put it on and his arms now in full display.
“You’re telling me that I will need to oil you up?” You ask, eyes wide. “For what? Why? Oh my god, I’m gonna– How will I do that?!”
“Well, you put oil on your hands and–”
“Okay, ha ha.” You roll your eyes playfully, feeling his hands move to your hips. “Hugh…”
“What? You want someone else to oil me up? That it? First you say you won’t miss me when we go back home, that you want your space, and now you don’t wanna touch me?” He teases with a smirk. “What’s next, baby?”
“Oh stop, you’re being dramatic.” You laugh quietly, looking into his eyes.
“So, you’ll oil me up?” He grins.
“If I must,” you tease. “But you owe me.”
“Oh, baby, just you wait.” He winks.
“What does the scene even consist of where I have to put oil on you?”
“You’ll see.”
“Not even a hint?”
Hugh shakes his head and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Nope. I will say, though,” he whispers, moving his lips along your jawline to your ear. “I’m gonna try my very best not to get excited when your hands are all over me.”
“Oh my god, you’re going to be shirtless, aren’t you?”
His lips grow into a wide grin as he gently nips along the side of your neck, hands gripping your hips. “Yeah, baby.”
You look at him from top to bottom, biting down on your lower lip as your gaze darkens at the thought. You clear your throat and look back into his eyes, slowly shaking your head. “Yeah, you owe me because I don’t know how I’m going to oil you up without wanting to–”
“Oh, I know,” Hugh chuckles, interrupting you. “Good thing it’s the last scene to shoot before we call it a day.”
“So, what I’m hearing is that after that scene, you’re going to take me back to the hotel and…” you wiggle your brows together. “You know.”
Hugh smirks, hands slowly moving from your hips to wrap around your waist, dipping low to rest on your backside. “I don’t know,” he lies. “Why don’t you tell me what I’ll be doing when we get back to the hotel room?”
“You’re gonna let me have my way with you,” you grin, nodding excitedly.
“Oh, I’m gonna let you, will I?”
“Yes.” you answer, matter-of-factly.
“Love the confidence, baby,” Hugh grins as he leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Gotta get back on set. I’ll see you later.”
“You’re such a tease.”
“Am I?”
“Yes, Hugh,” you answer, pulling back and looking up at him with a small pout on your lips.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he winks. “You know I will.”
“You better.”
“I promise,” Hugh says. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smile.
—
Throughout the rest of the day, you find yourself distracted with the thought of having to oil Hugh up for the last scene of the day. While you’re still in awe of the acting from both Ryan and Hugh, you can’t help but your eyes deviate to Hugh’s arms as he says his lines.
And even as that scene approaches, Shawn is the first one to walk up to you, a teasing grin on his lips. “So, you’re okay with oiling Hugh up for this last scene?”
“I think it’d be weird if I wasn’t,” you tease, biting the inside of your cheek in anticipation.
“That’s true,” he chuckles. “Ryan’s been teasing him all day about it,” Shawn points out.
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you smile. “How much oil will I have to put on him, by the way?”
“Um,” Shawn grins. “Quite a lot and depending on how many takes we’ll need to get the right one…”
“Okay, so we might need more than one bottle.”
“Oh, we have plenty.”
“And this scene…” you begin, playing with your camera strap.
“It’s a good one,” Shawn finishes for you.
“I mean, it wouldn’t be Wolverine if there wasn’t at least one shot of him without a shirt, right?”
Shawn laughs quietly. “That’s right… Speaking of the devil,” he nods his head over your shoulder and you turn slightly to see Hugh without his shirt, simply dressed in only the yellow and blue pants with the matching boots and cowl.
You clear your throat at the sight of him, his muscles clearly defined as you bite your lower lip. Your eyes linger on his chest and abdomen, moving along his strong arms and shoulders. Ryan’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you turn your gaze on the other man, who’s dressed in his entire Deadpool gear.
“You might want to pick up your jaw off the floor,” Ryan chuckles.
“Oh, shut up,” you reply, gently smacking his chest. “I see this every day, it’s nothing new to me,” you lie.
Hugh places his hands on his hips, staring at you with a slight tilt to his head and a small smirk on his lips. He can see your eyes flitting back to him, can see the way you're gently gnawing at your lower lip and he knows exactly what kind of look you’re giving him.
“I know,” Ryan sighs dramatically. “Lucky you.”
“Got the oil for you,” Hugh says, handing it to you and breaking you out of your thoughts. You take it from him slowly, fingers brushing against his.
“Right. So, we’re doing this now.” you say, gripping the bottle of oil tightly in your grasp.
Shawn nods and then looks over at you. “Don’t put too much,” he advises. “Just enough to make his skin glisten, like he’s sweating.”
“Right, right,” you nod, clearing your throat. “Not too much, but just enough.”
Ryan and Shawn quietly chuckle to themselves before giving the both of you some privacy. You look up at Hugh and bite your lower lip, eyes lingering on his lips as it moves down the side of his neck, to his chest and down his abdomen and back up.
“You nervous, baby?” Hugh whispers.
“N– No,” you stammer. “I just don’t want to mess up.”
“I don’t even think that’s possible,” he chuckles. “I’m ready for you, love.”
You nod slowly and then open the bottle of oil, squeezing just enough onto your palm. You set the bottle aside and rub your hands together to evenly distribute the oil before you reach out to place your hands on his shoulders, slowly moving them up and down before you move to his chest.
Hugh smirks, flexing his chest for you and he lets out a quiet chuckle when he hears you quietly gasp. “Love feeling your hands on me, baby,” he whispers.
“Stop distracting me,” you tease, pouring just a bit more oil onto your hands before you reach out to spread it along his chest down to his abdomen, feeling each ridge and muscle of his abs. Your hands move dangerously closer to the waistband of his pants, feeling Hugh’s hand immediately dart out to rest on your hip.
“Careful, baby.”
“Just making sure I got everything.” Slowly, you pull away and look at him, his upper half glistening with the oil you just applied. “I think– I think you’re ready to go.”
Hugh smiles and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Thank you, baby.”
“I miss seeing your eyes,” you point out, motioning towards the cowl that’s placed atop of his head. “But I can’t lie… this is just as good a view.”
Hugh opens his mouth to say something, but hears his name being called by Ryan and Shawn. “Duty calls.”
“Try and get this in one take so you can take me back to the hotel.”
Hugh smirks. “Impatient, aren’t you?”
“Do you see yourself? I’d jump you right here if I could.”
“Naughty girl,” he whispers lowly.
“Hugh!” Ryan calls out. “Come on, buddy. I’m sure she will oil you up soon enough.”
“Go,” you say quietly.
Hugh nods and then turns on his heel to take his place on set.
—
It takes more than one take to complete the scene. After about two and a half bottles of oil and intense sexual tension radiating off you and Hugh, Shawn finally calls cut. Hugh walks over to you and takes the towel from your hands to wipe off the immense amount of oil that’s dripping from him, but he can’t help but watch your eyes ogle him. It always made him feel so special and borderline shy when your eyes linger on him, especially with the way you’re staring at him now.
“Just gotta head back to the trailer and change,” Hugh says. “Then we can go back to the hotel.”
Anticipation courses through your veins as you keep a tight hold on Hugh’s hand, fingers laced together as you walk alongside him. Once at his trailer, Hugh shuts the door and locks it behind him.
Before you can even ask what he’s doing, Hugh turns to face you and removes the cowl to set it aside. His gaze darkens at the sight of you and in just a few strides in your direction, he’s wrapping his strong arms around your waist and lifting you off your feet.
Your legs immediately wrap around his waist and your arms move around his shoulders. Letting out a quiet gasp, Hugh gently rests you on your back against the couch, kneeling on the floor between your legs.
“Hugh, what are you–”
“Been wanting you all day,” he says, his large hands moving to your jeans and undoing the button and zipper of it all too quickly. “Can’t wait anymore.”
“Baby–”
“Shh,” Hugh whispers, tugging your jeans down your legs and tossing the fabric over his shoulder. He looks up at you and then moves his hands to the waistband of your black lace panties, slowly tugging them down your legs as well. Once your lower half is completely exposed for him, Hugh holds your legs apart and growls at the sight of your slickened sex. He leans in and brushes the bridge of his nose against you, hands gripping your legs tightly. “Goddamn, baby. You’re already so wet for me.”
“It was because of all that oil,” you whimper, moving your hands to rest in his hair. “Please…”
“And here I thought you were gonna have your way with me,” he grins, pulling back just enough to brush the pad of his thumb against your bundle of nerves. Hugh looks up at you, watches you tilt your head back and your eyes fall shut at the lightest of touches.
“Oh, I will,” you groan. “But first, how about you do what you need to do and–”
“So demanding lately,” he grins, leaning in to lick a stripe along your soaking heat. A loud moan escapes your lips and Hugh smiles, pulling away. “Baby, you gotta stay quiet for me. There are still people on set and we can’t have them hearing you, hearing what I’m doing to you.”
“Fuck,” you whimper, nodding and moving your hands from his hair to cover your mouth instead. “I’ll try my best,” you mumble.
“Atta girl,” he praises and leans back in to lap at your juices, your wetness slowly beginning to trickle down his chest. Hugh grips your hips, holding you firmly against the couch as he moves his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue against it as he brings one hand between your legs. Without hesitation, he slides in two fingers as he sucks at your clit, beginning to pump his two digits in and out of your depths.
The sounds of your wetness squelches with each thrust of his fingers and he stares up at you to see how hard you’re trying to stay quiet. He smirks against you and slowly adds a third finger, a loud whimper escaping your lips at the intrusion.
Hugh turns his head and places soft kisses on the inside of your thigh as he leans back, continuing to move his fingers in and out of your depths as he leans over you. With his free hand, he gently removes your own from your mouth and leans in to brush his lips against yours.
“Feel good, baby?” he whispers, keeping his fingers deep within your depths as he begins to curl them inside of you. “Oh yeah, I can feel you trembling…”
You stare up at him, biting your lower lip as you try to hold back your moans. “Hugh, baby…”
“Doing so good for me, staying so quiet,” he grins, his fingers curling inwards as your walls begin to tremble and he knows you’re close. Knows that you’re about to reach a heightened pleasure that he leans in and presses his lips against yours in hopes to quiet your moans.
You reach down and grip his wrist, fingertips digging into his skin as you arch your back. You moan against his lips, feeling his tongue slide past your own and the sensations are just too much, too overwhelming. Hugh pumps his fingers in and out of you to help you ride out your climax, slowly pulling away to hold up his fingers in your direction.
“Look how wet you are for me,” he grins.
You look up at him, biting your lower lip as you watch him suck on his fingers, cleaning your slick free from his digits. “Hugh…”
“So fucking good,” he winks.
You’re breathing heavily, but you reach down for his pants and tug on it, seeing the length of his manhood pressing against the yellow fabric. “Take these off.”
Hugh smirks. “Yes, ma’am.” He makes quick work to remove his boots and his pants, kicking them off to the side carelessly. He looks down at himself, his manhood at attention and he settles himself once more between your legs. He holds onto the base of his length and runs his tip across your sex, growling lowly.
“Gonna fuck you now,” he groans.
“Please,” you whimper.
“Being such a good girl, baby,” Hugh smirks, slowly sliding into you in one thrust. He groans at your wetness, your warmth walls surrounding every inch of him. He leans down and rests his forehead against yours, pulling his hips back before he slides back in.
“Hugh, I don’t think…” you moan, moving your hands to his shoulders. “I can’t– I can’t stay quiet and–”
“Shh,” he whispers, moving his large hand over your mouth as he delivers a sharp thrust. “Yeah, you can, baby.”
You let out a loud moan, muffled by his hand as you stare up at him. Hugh pulls out to his tip and slides back into you in one thrust, your legs moving to wrap around his waist.
Hugh rests his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes as he keeps his hand over your mouth. Your moans and whimpers are muffled by his large hand and with each thrust, he can see the way your eyes flutter. Hugh’s thrusts continue at a rhythmic pace, your walls sliding along each inch and vein of his manhood. You’re so wet, so tight and warm and Hugh knows he can’t keep this up any longer.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s hips begin to stutter, but you reach down and push him away from you, causing a loud groan to escape his lips. He’s quick to grasp his manhood to slide back into you, but you shake your head and sit up on the couch, urging him to stand up. “What?”
“I want you to come in my mouth,” you tell him, biting your lower lip. “That’s one way you can keep me quiet.”
Hugh growls and nods, standing up like you asked. He brings a hand down to your cheek, brushing his thumb across your soft skin and gently tucking a fallen strand behind your ear. “Well?”
“Now, who’s impatient, hm?” you grin, reaching up to wrap your hand around his slick coated base as your lips move to his tip. Wrapping your lips around him, you begin to bob your head, hollowing your cheeks as your hand strokes the rest of him. You keep your eyes focused on him, watching as he tilts his head back and a hand moves to tangle his fingers into your hair.
“Oh, baby,” he groans, the grip in your tightening as you continue to bob your head in time with your strokes. Hugh can feel the tightness build once again in the pit of his stomach. He looks down at you and groans at the sight, your eyes staring up at him with his cock in his mouth.
God, if he could spend the rest of his days like this, Hugh would die a happy man.
“I’m close, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s voice cuts off as you take him even deeper into your mouth and he can feel the tip of his length hit the back of your throat. He groans loudly and gently brushes your hand away from him as he takes a hold of his base. He strokes himself once, twice, three times before spurts of his come release into your mouth.
You feel his warm spend fill your mouth, a mixture of salty and sweet taste. You swallow it eagerly, slowly bobbing your head as you feel him shudder against you, his hand in your release loosening its grip. When he pulls away, you smile up at him and gently place a soft and light kiss on his tip.
“Did you really just–”
“Swallow?” you finish for him and nod. “Yup… Is that okay?”
“Is that okay?” Hugh repeats. “Baby, you’re fucking perfect.”
---
taglist (if links don't work, i'm sorry!): @corvusmorte - @dragonqueen89 - @whimsiwitchy - @kellyxo1
@wolviehugh - @moonxknightx - @sullyselena - @angelofthorr - @spectorrrhgf
@needz1nk - @fandomxo00 - @godlypresley - @kythefangirl25 - @callsignyourmom
@sue8724 - @squishyfruitloop - @sylviavf - @emotrash1 - @dissentientss
@sir-thisisadndserver - @absolutepie - @millajay - @itsallyscorner - @haytchee
@wolverigrl - @its-in-the-woods - @d3ad2you - @definitely-not-chill - @khxna
@jules-and-gemss
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x female reader#hugh jackman x f!reader#hugh jackman x fem!reader#real person fiction#rpf#real person fanfiction#real person fanfic#story: training partners
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The Heart Killers EP1: Kant & Bison's Desire for Agency
I recently wrote a post around Kant being the vehicle for Bison's freedom, but I'm spotting a bigger theme that these two lovebirds share in common. Both feel stripped of their agency, their ability to dictate their lives freely on their own terms and by their own ideals and desires.
For that reason, they're respectively struggling with where they are versus where they want to be, as factors beyond their control currently inhibit that from being attainable.
"I've cleared my name of car theft. My hands are so damn clean now." Kant is keen to put his past behind him, however Captain Chris has him cornered under the threat of re-opening his previous felonies and possible jail time, dangling custody of his brother as a bargaining chip. "If you get this done for me, not only will your criminal record be swept away, I'll wipe it clean." "If you go to jail, who'd take care of your brother?" This leaves Kant with no choice but to begrudgingly concede.
Bison feels similarly trapped by a life he didn't choose, clearly eager at any opportunity to 'clock off'. "I do what I have to do. Now I want to do what I want to. Can't I just live a little?" "If being hitmen makes it so hard to live, shouldn't we just quit?" "I don't want to kill people for a living my whole life... I just want to live my life." He just wants to enjoy a normal life - to have fun, to be frivolous, to embrace being a 24 year old.
TOGETHER WE BREAK FREE
Their relationship serves as temporary relief or escape from the situations they both find themselves in. Bison finds Kant's company a break from routine and monotony, a welcome distraction in between killing and working at the burger bar (neither of which he chose for himself). Dating Kant is an insight into the joys of life he fears missing out on. 'When I'm with you, I'm not a killer, I'm just a boy'.
By some poetic irony, Kant's mission to instrument Bison's capture would grant him access to the freedom he is seeking - allowing him and his brother to truly start afresh. There is absolutely more backstory to come as to why Kant wants this so badly, that he’s willing to throw so much in. Dating Bison may begin as a means to an end, but Kant does find himself falling in love, despite his objective.
Once everything is out in the open, I do think they'll aid one another in acquiring the agency they each so desperately desire. No one can better understand how it feels to be trapped than someone who is also fighting against the bars of their own cage.
OVERCOMING YOUR RESTRAINTS
On their first official date, Kant shares the following with Bison: “Would you believe me if I told you that I'm afraid of the ocean? Something happened when I was a kid. I almost drowned. Now I'm still afraid of it." One could argue that we don't know if Kant's admission is true, but I don't see any reason for him to lie about this specifically.
This promptly takes me back to this moment from the trailer, which has prominently stuck in my mind. I still get the impression that they are working together when Kant jumps in. If Bison was on the offensive, I don't think he'd be as stationary or calm. Maybe he's performing under someone's watchful eye, or his gun is aimed at something out of shot, or they're practicing a specific stunt.
Whatever the context, this scene now has considerably more weight. The fact that Kant jumps in whilst his hands are bound, when he has a fear of drowning is an indication he's putting his complete trust in Bison (who is adept at swimming), to rescue him if needs be. The implication here being that Bison may quite literally, mentally and symbolically free Kant from his restraints, helping him to overcome what he’s most afraid of.
BDSM: THE PLEASURE OF CONTROL
Funnily enough, this duo's exploration of BDSM even aligns with their shared desire for agency. From the few snippets we’ve been shown, Bison likes being the one in control. Your partner consents to be at your mercy, affording you the power to enact pleasure and/or pain. And there’s a heady thrill in being handed that control. (It's worth noting the inherent power play in taking a life, but whether Bison derives any pleasure from this, I'm not 100% sure. Kant also knows Bison is capable of killing, so letting him dominate actually says a tonne). During their one night stand, Bison even quips, "you're not doing this solo, you know," which teases that he's no passive participant.
Kant seems happy to indulge Bison in taking the reins. Having his agency taken away during acts of passion, but on his terms is completely different to feeling forcibly pushed - because you've chosen how and who you forfeit that agency to. This is partly why I suspect Kant actually gives Bison permission to tie him up in that boat scene (above).
You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating as the show airs.
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#THK#THK meta#kantbison#firstkhao#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#speculating about that boat scene has me quaking#bison being the personification of FOMO#i just have a feeling kant's backstory is going to hurt
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The "child" in the womb belongs to the mother. It's literally part of the mother's body. Because all people inherently have full autonomy over their bodies, she gets to decide everything that happens to her. It's not the federal or state government's business or choice.
The mother makes an enormous health and life-impacting sacrifice to birth a child. It's the level of bodily trauma that you simply cannot force a person to undergo unwillingly. Only the person in question can make that choice. Just like you can't order a person to experience torture to save another person's life, you can't force a mother to give birth if she decides it's not for her. Only she gets to choose. Life isn't a movie and she's not obligated to be a hero.
It's that simple.
You can go ahead and believe that it's "morally wrong." Your beliefs are up to you. But they also don't play a role. She can still do what she wants. It can be "wrong" (to you) and she can do it anyway.
She can do it out of fear if she wants. I would not consent to life-altering torture to save someone I don't know. That sounds horrible! No way. Yes, I would be afraid. So what? I'm allowed to be afraid, just like I'm allowed to do whatever I want to my body for whatever reason.
That inherent right exists and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it. You can have your opinion, and it doesn't change anything.
But also, your "statistics" on the "vast majority of women being afraid or greedy" are wrong.
And also, it wouldn't matter if they were correct.
Bodily autonomy is independent of and agnostic from morality. Morality does not apply, least of all from some random person. What's right and wrong is up to the one person involved, which is the mother.
No one needs to sacrifice their health and well-being for another person. Not even a child! That child is not more important and does not have more rights than a fully developed and accomplished adult. If anything, the adult is worth more because more has been invested into them to make them into the incredibly worthwhile and valuable life they are today.
You don't sacrifice that for something undeveloped.
But you know, if the father still wants the child, he can have it. It'll be up to him to figure out how to keep growing the clump of cells, but that's not the mother's problem when she's withdrawn her consent.
Here’s the thing I think conservatives don’t understand: I don’t care what someone else does with their own body.
You wanna get surgery or take medication to make you look a certain way? Okay. I don’t care
You wanna ctrl+alt+delete that clump of cells in your uterus. Sure. I don’t care.
You wanna use meds to block a natural aspect of your body’s system? Alright by me. I. Don’t. Care.
I don’t care because it’s not my body
“But what if they regret it?” So? Let them regret it. That’s their choice to live with.
“But what if that baby would have grown up to cure cancer?” Kinda short sighted on God’s part to only put that potential in one baby, yeah? (Also … you can’t cure cancer, but that’s a level of nuance for a different time)
“But what if they want to use that function in the future?” Funny thing about meds: you can just stop fucking taking them and things usually go back to normal.
I DON’T CARE WHAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING DOES WITH THEIR OWN BODY! I don’t care 🤷♀️ it’s not my body so why should I have a say in it?
The choice is not “being left up to the states instead of the federal government”, it’s that the choice is being taken away from individuals.
Why the fuck to they care so much what other people do with their own shit??
#this is reality#anyone has the right to whatever morality opinion they want#but also those opinions don't matter#people can still do what they want with their bodies and that's basic physical reality#government position is not a real factor. laws are not a real factor. opinions are not a real factor#inherent bodily autonomy exists. just like gravity! whether you believe in it or not#and just like gravity. it doesn't require your belief#no one has to sacrifice their health and wellbeing for any person. not even for a child!!#commentary
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Isekai Reader, currently floating in mid-air: this is fine this is normal...
Isekai Reader: FUCKIN GET ME DOWN!!!*flapping their arms and just trying to get down*
Dick: just calm down maybe you might float down
Isekai Reader: I TRIED EARLIER!
Dick: you really need to be calm
Isekai Reader: FUCK YOU GRAYSON!
......
Duke: how did that happen?
Isekai Reader, stops struggling a while ago and just float mindlessly: my best bet is that after mama wayne possessed me*shivers remembering what happened the week before* is that I gained a but of ghostly powers look I can phase through the chandelier if I want to
Duke: would kryptonite work on you?
Isekai reader: I'm not kryptonian
Isekai reader: wanna find out?
Duke: sure lemme go grab it
Isekai reader: m'kay
....
Alfred: why thank you for cleaning the ceiling and the chandelier
Isekai Reader: no problemo does that mean I get the last snack you made *hopeful*
Alfred: go right ahead
Isekai reader: YAY!!
....
Bruce sipping coffee as he looks at the picture he took with his parents, reader cropped out(you know what I mean): mom.. dad.. *ignores his eldest son running away from reader*
Dick, runs away with the said snack reader wants: ITS JUST ONE SNACK! THE HELL
Isekai Reader, zooming through the air: I DID WHAT ALFRED TOLD ME TO AND THAT SHIT IS MY REWARD GET BACK HERE GRAYSON!
Isekai! Reader/ you: *floating* coming here was already weird enough, but having ghost powers is another thing.
Dick: what’s your hero name?
Isekai! Reader/ you: *smirks* Danny Phantom *waits for applause*
Duke:…is that another one of your references or?
Isekai! Reader/ you: *pouts as you being to phase through the ceiling into Jason’s room* boo, you’re both boring I’m going to hit on your hot brother.
Dick: DO NOT HIT ON JASON!
Duke: you’re even starting to sound like Bruce.
Dick; aww man. *pouts* but seriously who’s Danny phantom?
Duke: *shrugs*
…
Jason: I can feel you staring at me babe.
Isekai! Reader/you: no you can’t.
Jason; just because you’ve got powers doesn’t mean I can feel that stare that you always give me.
Isekai! Reader/ you: …you knew?
Jason: you don’t exactly make it subtly to be honest.
Isekai! Reader/you: …*phases through the floor*
…
Isekai! Reader/ you: *to dick and duke* HE FUCKING KNOWS!
Dick: you don’t exactly make it subtle.
Duke: I mean you stare at his back, thighs, biceps, chest and his face so intently I got concerned for your health.
Isekai!reader/ you:…he’s really pretty!
Dick: am I pretty *batts his eye lashes*
Isekai! Reader/ you: …I guess…
Dick: WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO AWNSER!?
…
Martha: do we think we did something wrong with possessing them?
Thomas: no, what makes you think that my love?
Martha: *points at Isekai! Reader/ you -now having learnt how to fly and go invisible- go after Dick, Tim, Jason and Stephanie for reasons unknown*
Dick: WHAT THE FUCK
Jason: WERE SORRY FOR SPOILING THE SHOW!
Tim: IT WAS ALL DICK’s IDEA!
Dick: WHAT THE FUCK TIM
Tim: IT’s TRUE!
Stephanie: MY PHONE ISNT WORKING! *it’s screen glitches as the words ‘you spoiled it for me’ are scrawled across it*
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc comics x reader#dc x y/n#batfam x reader#batfam imagine#batfamily imagine#batfamily imagines#batfam imagines#isekai reader
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DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 2: POTIONS/DEATH
CW: Suicide attempt, suicidal ideations, mental breakdown, ableism, DDDNE
This is the first thing Zam does when he realizes that everything he has done this season has been absolutely useless: he kills himself.
Okay, he tries: he abruptly turns away, throws off all his armor, takes a few springy steps, and then jumps down. The height is small, but he has ridiculously few hearts, so it's enough...
A moment before landing something breaks on top of his head, and the fall does not cause any damage. The nasty swamp slime gets into his mouth, and he spits it out, at the same time shaking off the glass stuck in his hair.
– What do you think is the probability that he has milk? – Pyro asks Spoke, tossing another splash bottle in his hand. Zam stares at him. How the fuck did he even hit? He is disgusting and wet. He has milk, but only in the enderchest, and he is not stupid enough to believe that he will be given time to drink it. Or that it would make any difference.
– I don't know, man, – Spoke spreads his hands, – like, high? Doesn't matter. Let's continue my supervillain speech. Time is not infinite, you know.
He doesn't want to continue the conversation. He pukes on the spot. He reeks of corpse rot. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be anywhere at all. Oh, God, can he just fucking die already?
Mapicc rolls his eyes. He looks annoyed, but not surprised. He and Spoke exchange understanding glances. Zam mechanically wipes his mouth from vomit, staring past them. There are too many things around. Everything is too bright and distinct. He wants to pierce through his belly with a sword, and he is horrified to realize that this will not help.
They- they don't even laugh at his insignificance and helplessness, they see it as an expected hindrance, as something that will happen when you tell the PrinceZam about the impending apocalypse. For some reason, it's so much worse. The vomit is creeping up in his throat again.
Step. Another. Third. This time he jumps into the void – because the Abyss kills anything, and even if not, suffocating in the infinity is still better than being next to them. That's the only thing he wants right now – to die.
He barely does not manage to reach y 0 when he is teleported back to their feet, and he falls to the knees. He violently coughs up bile. Deep disgust fills every cell of his body.
– Listen, – Mapicc says wearily, – let's skip this part. Yes, Spoke has backdoored the server, yes, he has an OP, and yes, no mundane plots have any meaning anymore. Wormhole will open in a week. Are you with us?
He lowers his head. His hands are shaking. He wants to wash himself. He wants to be anywhere else. He wants warm clothes and soft food. He wants to go home and bake a pumpkin pie. He wants to kill himself.
– Earth to the PrinceZam,– Spoke snaps fingers in front of his face, – bro, hang off. I need your answer. I'm only giving you a choice anyway because you're different. Be faster.
He opens his mouth and stutters and gasps. Nothing in his body works properly. For the first time in months, he can't say anything. Why-why at all. What's the difference. They can't make his life worse. They won't be able to mess up any more. They are not-
A blurry image with black and red appears in front of his face. Black hair. A pale face. A red hoodie. Bandana. Horns. Zam doesn't have to think about it to know that it's Mapicc.
– Listen, – Mapicc's voice comes to him as if from under water, - I know it's hard, – no, he has no idea, – and really, really sucks. but this is the situation we find ourselves in now. Right now, you don't have to do much, right now you just need to make one decision. Okay?
Something inhuman is bursting out of him. He's throwing up again. Mapicc sighs.
– Hey, – he says too calmly, – it's hard, I know. But not worse than the end of season two, right? – much, much worse, – just take a deep breath, exhale, give yourself time to think and make a decision, okay? And we'll leave you alone.
He can't. He can't. He is not-
– If I refuse, – he says, dead–straight, – will you let me die?
– No, of course not, – Spoke's voice comes from somewhere to the side, and he doesn't have enough strength to turn his head, – why did we try otherwise? Wait for the Wormhole, and I'll think about it. Maybe I'll give you endless effects, or maybe I'll let you die in peace. Who knows? I haven't decided yet.
– Don't listen to him, – Mapicc interrupts, irritated, – don't think about it. Just decide whether you want to destroy this world or fight for its preservation. If you want to keep it, the defenders will pick you up sooner or later. If you want to destroy it, you will become the third with me and Spoke. We will work together. Like before.
He's looking past them. His heart is beating too fast.
– if I join you, – he says dryly, – will you let me die?
– When you will finish your work? – Spoke giggles, – yeah, sure, why not. It wouldn't matter.
He swallows a lump. His throat hurts. Mapicc seems to be looking right at him. He's suffocating. He doesn't want any of this.
– Okay, – he says in the end, – I'll help you. And then you'll let me go.
Spoke grins.
– And that's the deal! Good job, PrinceZam. That's more like it.
At least Mapicc and I will be friends again, he thinks detachedly. At least there's anything good about it. Maybe I can get over it. Even if it's only to get the fuck out later.
#cw suicide attempt#cw suicide ideations#cw mental breakdown#cw ableism#cw dead dove#lsdevotionweek#do you remember how devious duo made their end island fully safe because they thought that zam will try to kill himself? bc i do.#d.fics#fanfiction#devotion duo
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Fandom Discourse Analysis
Mentions of aging up, enjoying villian characters, and disliking popular characters.
Something I have noticed about anime becoming more popular and mainstream and also the rise in minors in certain spaces is a constant level of discourse over certain topics. I truly believe it’s a good thing anime has become more popular. However, as it brings in more viewers, I think it’s important too open up the conversation surrounding the necessity of distinguishing fiction from reality. There is a lot of posts I see while browsing tags and although I don’t post often I think something needs to be said about three very specific topics that, for me, mean a lot and seem to have a lot of discourse surrounding them.
One of the things I see happening a lot lately within the community is the hatred against people for liking fictional characters who happen to be minors in their respective animes. The aging up dilemma. First off, let me start by saying that a fictional pixel on a screen does not = minor. It can not be a minor because it is a drawing that was made up whenever the author wrote it. And in a lot of these instances, these characters are crafted by the authors with traits that appeal broadly to audiences, transcending their canon ages. This is particularly evident in shonen anime, where characters are often depicted with maturity, wisdom, or exaggerated physical features that align more closely with adult aesthetics rather than with children. This stylistic choice by many authors is done purposely to cater to a wide demographic, enabling viewers to form connections with characters regardless of age.
It's important to recognize that a great majority of the time it is NOT the age that attracts viewers to the character which differentiates them with people in real life who are attracted to minors. Having a crush on, or writing about a fictional character that, like I said previously more closely align with adult aesthetics, does not make someone a pedophile. I think when it comes to loli and shota, then yes maybe we can open up this conversation as those characters are made to look like children. But that’s another topic. Acknowledging the fictional nature of these characters and their resemblance to adult fictional characters should be taken into consideration and not be misconstrued as indicative of real-life inclinations towards minors. Not to mention many of these authors don’t want them to be minors which is why they write about them as adults. Again, these are NOT minors. They are drawings and their ages can be changed depending on who’s writing them. An author could come out tomorrow and say the character has always been an adult and that would make it canon. It is not the same as pedophilia. Most people like characters like Sukuna that doesn’t reflect their real life tastes. Which brings me to my next point.
Liking a villainous character does not correspond to endorsing those actions in real life. Anime often portrays "evil" characters with a depth that makes them appealing through usually through some form of tragic backstory, a charismatic or confident personality, or having extremely complex motivations. I think this makes people often misunderstand that liking them is a reflection of one's real-world values. That is not the case.
Some people even like these characters just for being attractive and due to the fact they are fictional, and again an authors way of getting people to appeal to said characters, it can not be misconstrued of saying that those actions would be okay in real life scenarios. These characters allow viewers to explore themes of conflict, redemption, and moral ambiguity that can be explored in safety because it’s fiction. I think one of the main reasons people find themselves drawn to them is that villian characters are often created with flaws and authors give them depth to explore said flaws. This is why anti-hero characters are also often seen as more relatable and engaging. Anti-heroes, like villains, aren't bound by the usual moral constraints and often make decisions that are more realistic than heroes would. They can express doubts, conflicts, and vulnerabilities that mirror real human experiences. This makes them intriguing and allows audiences to connect with them on a deeper level.
All that said I think the attraction to villainous or morally grey characters often stems from their complexity and the opportunity they provide for viewers to engage with difficult ideas and emotions in a safe, controlled setting. These characters challenge our perceptions of good and evil by navigating a blurred line between the two which is appealing for most people.
The last thing I want to bring up which kind of ties in with liking villainous characters is that disliking certain characters beloved by others is not necessarily a negative stance. Anime characters are crafted with diverse backgrounds, personalities, and motives, which naturally produce varied reactions among viewers. Understanding a character's motives yet still disliking them is completely valid and should stop being treated as inherently wrong or a negative reflection of someone.
People are allowed personal preference and I think that encourages a a better discussion within anime communities whereby differing opinions can coexist. It is through these discussions that fans can dig into character analysis and conversations revolving around characters. Recognizing that disagreement over characters is totally normal and that people can be cool with each other, or be friends and disagree is important in both real life and fiction.
At the end of the day there is also the block button which I will admit I use when needed, if you disagree with someone’s take. Instead of sending them hate and being a horrible person on the internet.
#jujutsu kaisen#naruto#blue lock#my hero academia#demon slayer#satoru gojo#giyu tomioka#tanjiro kamado#attack on titan#yuta okkotsu#haikyuu#sukuna#suguru geto#muzan kibutsuji#one piece#yuji itadori#eren yeager#nagi seishiro#jjk#bllk#mha#anime#tw: discourse#megumi fushiguro#isagi yoichi#jjk x reader#fandom discourse#aging up
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One thing I will say for the ending of DAV is that it's made one thing from Trespasser that always confused me a bit finally make sense: the fact that Solas spares even low approval Quiz. Like, the fact that he does that means that affection clearly doesn't come into that decision! He may be nicer about it if he likes Quiz, but he's not sparing them because he likes them. But it makes a lot more sense in the context of him making an enemy of Rook and then leaving them alive when he meets them in Minrathous, just assuming that they'll do what he wants and not get in his way and being completely blindsided by them tricking him even though they have no reason to just go along with what he says. At the end of the day Solas just... doesn't respect either Rook or Quiz enough as equals to see them as a potential threat, and that both explains him sparing Quiz and ultimately leads to his downfall.
I mean, think about it. He killed Mythal. He killed Felassan. Clearly he is not above killing even the people he loves best, the very last remnants of the world he's supposedly in this to save at that, if their survival might get in the way of his plans! You can talk about how much he cares for high approval Quiz, or even how much he loves Lavellan in a Sol@vellan (censored to keep it out of the tags) worldstate, but love demonstrably would not stop him if he determined Quiz to be a threat! He does not love them more than Mythal (he really, really doesn't love them more than he loves Mythal, Christ on a bike the amount of shit he does for Mythal and then refuses to accept her culpability for the fallout of is insane), he does not love them more than Felassan, he does not have more reason to spare them when they say they're going to stop him (whether peacefully or by force) than he did those two, but he still does even if he hates them. Now Solas doesn't like killing (he just has no concept of what counts as actual necessity or willingness to stop when he's going to kill most of Thedas), so it makes sense he wouldn't want them dead if he could avoid it, but if he saw them as a threat he would not spare Quiz where he didn't spare Mythal or Felassan. He's not going to spare a Quiz he hates who's vowing to stop him at all costs where he killed the last remnants of the world he wants to save... unless of course he doesn't think they actually can stop him.
And him not thinking they can stop him makes sense when you his response to Rook, who breaks out of a prison Solas thought was inescapable and by Solas's own admission gets further in dealing with the Evanuris than Solas ever could have himself; he still just completely dismisses them as a real threat, takes no steps to prevent them from turning on him, has no plan for if they find out what killing Elgar'nan will do, and is caught completely off-guard if they trick him with a fake dagger. He sees Rook surpass his every expectation and do better than he himself ever could have, and he still completely fails to realize that they do in fact pose a threat! I do believe that he on at least some level can grow to respect and even care for Quiz and Rook as people who exist, but he always thinks he is ultimately above them. He totally fails to see them as potential threats, and that's what ultimately leads to his downfall: if he'd preemptively killed Quiz at the end of Trespasser, or killed Rook the second Elgar'nan fell and they were no longer needed, or even just made any sort of plan for what to do if either or both of them were in fact the threats they made it clear they intended to be he might very well have won! But his unbridled arrogance and refusal to accept that a mortal could ever outdo the Dread Wolf ultimately gets him locked in the Fade (including the ending where he goes willingly, which only happens because Rook faces down yet another god to make it work). It's a very fitting end for someone who muses about the parallels between him and Elgar'nan and him and Rook and fails to consider what it might mean for him when Rook fully steps into his place in the narrative.
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Mom Friend - Kenma (Angst-ish)
“You don’t love me and I’m being really brave about it.”
-
The air is soft and cool, like a blanket made from silk. You take it as a good sign, smile up at the traffic sign above you like it’s a flower or an ornament.
How silly that love can make ordinary things bloom.
Tonight you feel good in your clothes. No need to worry about tomorrow.
Your phone buzzes in the pocket of your jacket but you don’t want to pull it out right now. You want to stay in the moment, right here, enjoy that buzzing feeling inside of you.
Maybe tonight, you think. Maybe tonight something will happen.
You’re not insecure, not questioning, not doubting anything.
Just waiting, patiently, for something that sure will come.
-
You spot him first, head buried in his hoody, eyes on the phone in his hand.
Knowing Kenma, he’s playing a game to pass the time.
You don’t wave, but keep your eyes on him as you come closer. It’s rare that you get to enjoy that sight for yourself, that you can watch without being watched.
He’s pretty. Always has been, you think, even though you’ve only really had a chance to befriend him lately. But you’ve seen the pictures, and besides, you can’t imagine him being anything but.
Just a few more steps to go but he raises his head and spots you without hesitation, the pupils of eyes growing smaller.
You’ve read about it, you can’t help but think. How the size of one’s pupil tells about their attraction.
A first seed of doubt begins to sprout but you push it down with a well-practiced smile.
“Hi,” you greet him, your voice weirdly breathless. You’re not that out of shape, he just does that to you. Do you shake his hand? Hug him?
He makes no move to greet you other than a quiet nod so you think that’s it and push down the disappointment. Kenma hugs Hinata.
Well, everyone hugs Hinata, you tell yourself, and look for something to say.
“Are we early?”
“No,” he dips his nose deeper into his hoody. “Kuroo’s not coming.”
“O-oh,” you pull out your phone to check. He’s right. The message is there, in the group chat. Right below it is another one, from Hinata.
“Can’t make it tonight, sorry guys. Rain check?”
“Should we-?”
“I’m going to watch the movie,” Kenma interrupts you, voice level. He doesn’t sound angry, or annoyed, or even bored, he just… sounds. Is flat the right word for it?
“Okay?”
His eyes, big and round and golden, move toward you and back to the sign above the door. “You can join me if you want.”
-
The movie isn’t bad. You like action movies, even the dumber ones. There’s a reason why Hinata still invites you to these hangouts, after all.
But you know you’re missing a crucial part of knowledge about the game this movie is based on.
There are jokes you don’t get that leave Kenma chuckling to himself and you can’t help but wonder what he thinks of you. Does he know you’re- Well, he has to, right?
You know he’s a little more on the shy side. Or, not shy, but more… private?
Maybe this is his way of getting a date with you?
The thought electrifies you.
But no. Kenma’s not acting like a guy on a date. He’s not sharing his food with you, has not even tried to pay for yours or initiate any conversation so far.
If you’d have to describe it, it would be like… getting to come along with your big brother.
Your face twists into a scowl. That is not the kind of thing you want to associate with Kenma.
-
“Do you wanna eat something?” You ask once you leave the cinema, dust your clothes off and get rid of the last remnants of popcorn and stray skittles.
Kenma hesitates for a second.
“Yeah, why not?”
You follow him out of the Cinema and down the street.
The wind is soothing on your warm cheeks. A couple walks down the street, facing you. Your heart squeezes tight when the guy swings their joined hands.
As they pass, Kenma steps out of their way, bumping into you.
He does not apologize.
It feels like a sign. A different one this time.
-
The restaurant is small but private and Kenma finds a booth at the back, orders like someone who’s been here before. You need a little longer to figure out what you want but then there’s nothing else to do but wait.
Kenma pulls out his phone, looks at the unlit screen and puts it face down on the table.
“Do you have a crush on me?”
His voice is even, like he’s reading from the menu and it takes you a second to register the meaning of the words.
Your mouth opens, but you can’t bring yourself to say it.
Nonetheless, your silence is answer enough. Your eyes fall back down to the table.
“I’m sorry,” Kenma mutters and there’s almost warmth to his words now.
He says nothing more for a while and you swallow a bout of tears that’s threatening to spill.
Silly you, you think.
Doubts and insecurities raise their ugly heads.
“Kuroo thought you might be into Shouyou,” Kenma starts anew. When you look up he’s staring out the window. “Cuz you’re always mothering him.”
“I’m not-”
“You’re like Kuroo, in that way,” Kenma adds on, as if he’s not hearing you. “Always bothering people. You bring extra water bottles and extra pain killers and a snack in case someone gets hungry and you remind them of their appointments.”
Your fingers clench around the utensils that are useless without any food but you need to hold onto something real if you want to survive this.
“Why are you telling me this?”
Golden eyes turn back to you and you wonder how it has taken you so long to realize that gold is not warm. Gold is a metal, heavy and cold, and not at all made for cuddling.
“Shouyou is my friend,” Kenma points out. “He doesn’t mind being mothered.”
“So?”
“You’d do better with a partner that likes that part of you. We all want-” He stops for a second, the first time you’ve seen him hesitate. “It’s not good if you have to change who you are for a relationship to work.”
“You could have just said you’re not interested,” you point out, petulance winning over the hurt. Or maybe the hurt is triggering it.
Kenma blinks slowly. “I am trying to be a good friend here.”
“Who’s friend?”
He opens his mouth to answer but the food arrives and he pulls back again, stares at you silently, like a cat stalking its prey.
“I’m not good at verbalizing my thoughts,” he begins again when the server has left. “You remind me of Kuroo in some way. I think-” He hesitates again. “If you want a partner that you can mother, you should try dating Shouyou.”
“I don’t want to date Hinata.”
Kenma sighs. “You could try Kuroo but I think-”
Your chopsticks dig into your hands as you interrupt him, pointing them at him like a weapon. “Stop it,” you hiss. “You’re not interested and that’s it. You don’t need to push me into someone else's arms like I’m something too valuable to throw away but not valuable enough to actually cherish.”
His face goes slack. He tries to speak again but you turn your face away and begin eating, stuffing your face with a pace that can’t be healthy but you just want to get out of here, out of this conversation.
Quiet settles. Your cheeks sting as if sensing the coming tears. But you don’t cry.
You finish first and get up, squeezing the handle of your purse so tight in your hand that it hurts.
“The bill is on me,” you tell Kenma. “Have a good night.”
-
part 2 is coming tomorrow
Taglist: @notsochillnerd
@kaykaystrings @alienaiver @alexxavicry @tsxkishimx @stellar-haikyuu
@fuzztacular (for the angst)
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I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.
First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.
As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.
The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.
Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.
Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.
Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.
Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.
I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.
Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.
As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.
Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.
So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):
So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!
#DC Comics#Stephanie Brown#Jackson Hyde#Kara Zor El#M'gann M'orzz#Miri Riam#Maxine Hunkel#Jaime Reyes#Mia Dearden#Carol Ferris#Derek James#my art#Training Wheels au
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Again, since Sin Resources are even in-text described as feelings the Sinners themselves feel (from Sign of Roses observation log, describing the mechanic of sapping Sin Resources: "It was like some… emotion in me was getting snapped in half." and "Everyone told me that it was as though the bottled—up feelings inside them were melting away.") I don't see how it can be argued to be coming from anyone else other than Gregor himself.
The reason why it's possible for the Lust to "come from his arm" rather than specifically Gregor himself is because, despite his perception of it being otherwise, they are both still inherently part of one being. After all, his arm is a PTSD allegory - even if he may see it as him not being himself when in the middle of reliving his trauma, it is still a part of him. This does not apply with Hermann - a completely different person with seperate feelings and experiences.
There is currently no precedent for a situation where someone's E.G.O requires the feelings and experiences to come from a Completely Different Person. You'd have to have a really good reason for such a massive break from the rules and conventions to happen, especially when E.G.O are as a concept so inherently tied to the very self using them, to the point where E.G.O of the same abnormality can represent vastly different things for different people. It's a leap in logic that I simply can't stand by when the explanation of Lust coming from Gregor himself, just simply a part of himself that he wishes to be divorced from, is much more fitting with established lore and still explains why he can't fuel it himself.
I never disagreed with you on the fact of emotional and spiritual fulfillment being a part of Lust - it very much is so. But to say it has nothing to do with the idea of base desires at all is to actively ignore a massive amount of visual motives, design choices, and narrative points.
Base desires in this case aren't just, as you put it, "cannibalistic eating and fucking". Human connection could be said to be a base desire in the context of Limbus's narrative as well - aren't so many stories in Project Moon's world focused on how people will form relationships and care for one another even when the world actively stands in their way and punishes them for it? Humans are inherently social creatures after all.
Isn't that the point of Heathcliff's Lust, that his wish to connect with Catherine is so strong that he's willing to do anything to earn her back? Isn't that why for Erlking that Lust is replaced with Gloom, since he has fully abandoned that wish and instead is focused on destroying every Heathcliff that contributed to hurting Catherine? You could argue this Lust counts as emotional fulfillment too, but it's certainly no "higher goal" - it's a simple base desire of being cared for and to care for another, born in a household where such care was actively witheld.
Also the interpretation that Bloodfiends somehow seek out "enkephalin" is just. Straight up wrong and I have no idea where you got it from SFGHGF. We know Enkephalin comes from the central nervous system, Faust says so in Canto 1: "Enkephalin can only be extracted from the brain and the spinal nerves." It has no connection to blood whatsoever.
The Bloodfiends explicitly need Blood, the difference here however is that it's not a literal physical need - it's a conceptual one. It's not that the Blood they consume is Literally Consumed For The Emotions Held Within, but rather that, conceptually, to them Blood is everything they are. It's the culmination of their being - their feelings, ambitions, worth, reasons for existence. Without Blood, there is no Bloodfiend, because on a conceptual level it's the only thing their self is. It's a base need inherent to them as beings on an abstract level.
It works similarly to how Mermaids are formed through their human selves becoming one with the Whale that digests them, down to the conceptual level where it becomes impossible to tell where the human the Mermaid used to be ends and where the Whale it is now a part of begins. Or how many Singularities work by directly interacting with abstract concepts rather than physical reality, like K Corp's Tears bringing things back to a conceptual "previous state" and thus requiring to be processed with an idea, a concept of what that previous state even is in the first place to be able to work properly.
The connection between Lust and Addiction is explicitly made through the Mirror Dungeon floor packs - one of the Lust-themed floor packs has the name "Addicting Lust". Also, while Gregor does smoke, he is never actively pointed out to be smoking as much as Ryoshu does - someone who is consistently called out for being a chainsmoker to the point Vergilius only ever refers to her when telling people to not smoke on the bus. When Gregor is shown to smoke, it's primarily done in response to negative emotions - he's stress smoking, a Gloom-tinted action rather than Ryoshu's Lust-tinted chain addiction, which she does so frequently and unconditionally that she knows the exact time it takes her to finish a cigarette.
Goddammit the two-in-one theory is even supported by GAMEPLAY MECHANICS
HONG LU'S BASE ID IS SPLIT BETWEEN RUPTURE AND SINKING
Yuuup. I haven't mentioned it on here but yup.
Fun fact, he's the only Base Identity who uses two of the Major Status Effects rather than the usual one!
And just to add to it in case you think that doesn't matter - Faust is the only Base Identity who doesn't inflict any Major Status Effect, and we know she usually sees herself as more of a vessel for the Gesselschaft than a seperate person herself.
So clearly, there has to be Something to it.
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