#for once I thought I can resist my desire to take pictures of TV and just go take screenshot instead

[cheeseknives]

Horse girl James horse girl James

[bmo-galaxy]

sns, prompt: reincarnation, waiting, soulmates

There's always been a yearning in him. A drive that sets his blood on fire and clouds his brain with determination. Some invisible force that pushes him toward... something. Sasuke thinks it's jealousy of his elder brother.

Itachi was always the favorite, the focus, the one set up to take over in their father's stead. Focused, intelligent, determined, capable; Itachi was everything Sasuke yearned to be and strove to emulate.

For most of his life, Sasuke assumed it was this jealousy, this borderline hatred, that set the fire in his gut. It felt good, satisfying, right to work in an effort to best the elder Uchiha. Each step he took toward his goal soothed and spurred on that fire.

He excels in school, but in different subjects than his brother. He keeps busy with numerous sports and clubs, but different activities than Itachi did. While they both graduate valedictorian, Sasuke's is by a smaller margin than Itachi's had been.

In the end, Sasuke is never quite good enough for his father. The patriarch judges him harshly and scolds him severely. The comparisons between the brother's are never ending. It sets Sasuke's teeth on edge and spurs him on further, hardening his determination to get ahead.

Not wanting to simply follow in Itachi's footsteps, Sasuke chooses a different college than the elder raven's alma mater. It irritates his father but for some reason, the simmering flames in his blood seem to delight in this decision.

The buzzing anticipation and impatience, something he so long tied to his brother, urges and encourages his choice. His usually turbulent soul settles when he sends in his application and is overjoyed when he's accepted. The yearning grows, filling his lungs and chest and heart.

'One step closer to besting you, brother,' he thinks as he stares at the acceptance letter in his hands. It feels right and wrong all in the same thought, the same breath. Is that why he's going? Wasn't there something... something else... No, this was his lifelong goal.

That goal is the only reason he picked this school. That goal is all that matters and all that's ever mattered. Right? Right. And as soon as he did it, as soon as he won, this persistent and anxious fire in his core would finally settled. The yearning would ease. Right?

In a few months time, Sasuke leaves for school. Those months are confusing and disorienting, punctuated by moments of pause. Why this school again? Oh, yes, something is there. Something is waiting. Something.... something... No. Just his goals, just his chance to gain power.

The day he leaves is frustrating. The relentless burning in his soul won't ease enough for him to breath properly, leading his voice to waver when he spoke. It's so distracting that even his father's scathing scolds can't break through the fog. Sasuke just yearns to get there.

More than he's ever wanted to be anywhere, which is confusing and irrational considering Sasuke's never been to this place before. But it feels like he's returning somewhere important. He tries and fails to attribute it to his determination, his dedication to his goal.

He reasons that it feels like somewhere important because its the stage of his revenge, his chance to beat Itachi. He's off though and he knows it. This feeling is too... something. Sitting on the plane, waiting for touch down and buzzing with anticipation, Sasuke realizes he was wrong.

This frantic, seering need in his chest may overlap with his desire to be better than Itachi, but they aren't one in the same as he had believed. This fire had always been too something, entirely different from his brotherly jealousy even if Sasuke never admitted it. Too big, too consuming, too intense. 

A very part of his soul instead of simply a trait about him. Deep in his chest, buried in his heart, his soul is waiting for something. Not the satisfaction of beating Itachi or the honor of his father's acknowledgement.

While very real parts of him, Sasuke knows they pale in comparison to this wistful longing. A longing that gets stronger the closer he gets to campus. A sleek black car drops him off with his bags and when Sasuke steps out, it almost feels like he's been set ablaze.

That's right, something is waiting. Something is here. Sasuke confirms the rest of his things will be delivered and his father's staff nods. The car pulls away and Sasuke is left with the flames. There's no thought at this point, no decision to make. Where is it? What is it?

Stepping in the first direction that comes to mind, Sasuke walks. The raven keeps himself composed, maintaining a slow pace, even though his heart hammers against his breastbone. He wants to break out into a run, search every corner and crevice. Frankly, he feels insane.

This feeling, this need, this all encompassing desire; all of it feels insane. It doesn't matter though. Sasuke can accept being crazy to sate the fire and soothe the burning. His feet carry him to a large, stone building that he assumes is a library. It's a book?

Sasuke finds himself disappointed without really knowing the reason why. Climbing the steps into the cool, dimly lit library, Sasuke looks around slowly. Nothing jumps out or calls to him, the flames don't change.

Feeling foolish and frustrated now, Sasuke stalks down a random aisle and grits his teeth. 'This is stupid and foolish and insane.' Sasuke keeps walking. 'Silly to lose sight of my goal over a silly feeling.' Sasuke keeps walking. 'Nothing is waiting, there's only my goal.'

Sasuke keeps walking until he turns a corner into a brightly lit grouping of tables. Sunlight comes in from big bay windows, casting the area in a hazy glow. Sasuke comes to a halt, breath leaving him all at once. The tables aren't empty.

In a long ray of sun, glowing and ethereal, is a single person. Blonde, tan, muscular but lean. Tattoos peak out from under his shirt sleeve and his nails are painted a bright shade of green. Chin in his palm, the man peaks at him slowly.

Blue eyes, deep as seas and sparkling like sunshine on the ocean, stare at him fondly. The kind of fondness that speaks of deep connections, long histories, ancient love. Sasuke is ablaze, burning to his core. From head to toe, the yearning begs him to walk toward this man. 

Sasuke resists, staring, guarded. Is this...? Could this be...? The flames are insistent and wild, the yearning in his soul sharp and aching. It has to be... Sasuke’s lips part, he barely whispers, “Are you--” when the blonde speaks louder. 

Tan cheeks stretch as the man smiles, a dazzling and earnest smile, showing off a dimple on each cheek. Sasuke wants to kiss them and the thought leaves him reeling. 

“Kept me waiting long enough, bastard,” the blonde stranger teases lightly, expression warm with mirth. Something lurches in Sasuke’s gut, something powerful and deeply buried. 

“You know me,” Sasuke says in a faint voice. It’s almost a question. Naruto tips his head to the side and those sapphire eyes are sad for a moment. Sasuke longs to help but falls short knowing how. This man is a stranger. Right?

A knowing, sweet smile spreads over the blonde’s lips now. The fondness in his eyes, which cases away the sorrow, makes Sasuke feel seen and loved; his heart trembles in his chest. The breaking point is coming, Sasuke can’t burn like this for much longer. 

“I do know you, Sasuke. For a really long time, actually.” It takes hearing his name from those sweet lips for the flames to settle. As it recedes into his soul and settles into his bones, the fire leaves behind memories from long ago. Memories with this man. Naruto. 

Naruto can tell when Sasuke realizes. The wistful fondness gives way to infectious excitement and overwhelming affection. Sasuke feels ready to collapse, every fiber of his being feels weak. 

It’s strange, almost empty, without that constant desire in his gut. Every single bit of him feels like it’s shifted slightly, warped, changed in an irreversible way. No less himself, no less Sasuke Uchiha, just weighed down by an entire lifetime of memories. 

Naruto approaches slowly, almost cautiously, arms bent behind his head and face open, earnest. “Its weird, right? I cried when it happened. My folks thought I was finally lost it for real.” 

Sasuke chuckles, sounding hoarse. “When did you find out?” This is almost too wild to accept, too insane to even contemplate. How could this be real? How could he be so lucky, so fortunate, so deserving as to get another lifetime with Naruto?

“When I was eleven. Your family is a big deal, I saw a picture of you on TV. I’d always been really, like, restless, ya know?” And yes, yes, Sasuke understood because he’d been feeling that same thing up until five minutes ago. 

“I saw you and that anxious feeling disappeared, but then the memories came. I told my folks I had a headache and wanted to go home. Been waiting ever since.” Another easy, beautiful, breathtaking smile. It’s been a lifetime since Sasuke saw it. 

Sasuke marvels, astonished and speechless. “Why didn’t you ever reach out? You were pretty relentless about that in the past.” It’s unbelievable how easy it is to talk to Naruto. How natural. How comfortable. A lifetime has gone by but it feels like only moments. 

Naruto shrugs, eyes just as glued to Sasuke as Sasuke’s are to him. Blue travels over his face and along his figure, taking in every detail. Just as mesmerized, just as awestruck. It makes Sasuke feel smug, proud, to know that he still commands Naruto’s attention after all this time. 

“I was scared. I didn’t know if you remembered. I didn’t know if you wanted to remember. I...” When Naruto trails off, Sasuke knows what he’s thinking. Knows what Naruto has carried in his heart all these years. 

I didn’t want to see you happy without me. I didn’t want you to choose not to remember. I didn’t want you to regret remembering. I didn’t want to lose you again. 

Dropping his bags, Sasuke closes the distance between them. Steady hands rise to cradles Naruto warm, dimpled cheeks. Without a breath of hesitation, Sasuke kisses his soulmate soundly. The blonde responds immediately, wrapping his arms around Sasuke’s waist and pulling him in tight. Kissing back with the same passion and adoration. 

You won’t be an Uchiha and I won’t be a jinchuriki. We can finally understand each other in the next world. 

When they pull away and Sasuke watches Naruto’s pretty blue eyes flutter open, everything feels right with the world. The stars seem to align and the air stills and it’s just the two of them bathed in sunlight. Naruto gazes into Sasuke’s dark eyes endearingly, misty tears gathering on the edges. 

“Sorry for making you wait. I supposed I lost,” Sasuke murmurs, cracking a small smile and pressing his forehead to Naruto’s. It’s addicting being able to hold him, touch him, embrace him as he’s longed to for lifetimes. Everything he’d yearned for, everything he wants. 

Naruto smiles, sweet and teasing, with vibrant blue eyes that shine. “Better late than never.” Sasuke chuckles, shakes his head in disbelief, and bends to kiss the infuriating blonde again. 

fin~

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 1 (Elriel)

Synopsis: Elain’s stuck in a dead end relationship, bored beyond belief with her life. When she befriends her brand new neighbor, it’s like taking a breath of fresh air. But with each day of friendship, she grows more and more drawn to him and the past he’s desperate to escape. His smile is all she thinks about, invading her head at the most inconvenient moments. He’s made his intentions with her perfectly clear, but she’s determined to resist his charms. She won’t allow him to turn her calm, quiet life upside down. Right?

I’M SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG. Moving did NOT go smoothly, and my professors are taking online classes a little ~seriously~ even though they haven’t started yet lol. 

Part 2 should be out by Wednesday, and it’s in Azriel’s POV :))))) This one’s a slow burn ladies and gentlemen, so get ready for some pent up desire 

______________________________________________________________

Elain rolled over in bed, somehow too hot and cold at the same time. Gods, she was miserable. Her boyfriend was next to her, snoring loudly, and the sound did nothing to help her worsening mood. 

She was so exhausted-- when you owned a flower shop, wedding season was always hectic--but sleep had been refusing to find her for the past hour. 

It didn’t help that she had a moose-sounding man in the room. 

Reminding herself that she loved him and definitely didn’t want to strangle him in his loud ass sleep, she rolled over and pulled a pillow on her head. 

Somehow, after two years of dating, she hadn’t gotten used to how loudly Lucien snored. 

Thank the gods we don’t live together, she thought, then admonished herself for it. 

They would eventually. 

She just had to get used to it. 

The pillow over her head became suffocating, only adding to the over-heating problem, so she threw the covers off, grabbed a robe, and walked out. After going up a few flights of stairs, she found herself on the roof. 

It was the place she always went when she was stressed or sad or just needed to see the night sky. She’d even started a garden a few months ago, so she started to head over to check on it. 

But then she saw who was sitting on the bench in front of her rose bushes and paused. 

Paused and stared, because the man sitting in front of her wearing dark clothes and a smirk was both classically beautiful and dangerous. 

He was the kind of man most men would do anything not to fight and women would do anything to bed. 

Smoke curled around him, and the shadows somehow seemed to cling to his tall frame. The stranger dwarfed the small bench, large frame taking up enough space for two. Even though he was sitting, she could tell he was well over six feet. And built like a Greek god, if the way his black, long sleeve t-shirt clung to his chest was any indication.  

He was the most attractive man she’d ever seen, and that was without taking in the strong, clean shaven jaw, hazel eyes, and hair the color of spilled ink. 

And oh fuck, he was studying her, too. A shiver ran over her as she realized she was covered in just her robe. 

Her body begged her to both run far away and draw closer, and for some reason, she listened to the urge to do the latter. 

“Who are you?” she asked as she walked through the maze of flowers. 

“Who are you?” he shot back, not answering her question. Her body reacted to his voice alone, goosebumps raising at the cold but somehow soothing tone. 

A breeze caused her hair to swirl around her as she replied, “I’m Elain. What are you doing here?”

He jerked his chin at the cigarette dangling from his fingertips, but that wasn’t exactly what she’d been asking. “No, I mean what are you doing here?”

“I live here, Elain.”

She realized she shouldn’t have told him her name, because now he could say it in that sexy, very manly voice of his and it would do strange things to her sanity. 

He said her name like a lover would, soft and sensual, but also coldly amused. He sounded like he knew her, like he’d known her for years. 

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes are laughing at her now, but he didn’t sound mean. 

"Which apartment?”

“4B.”

Elain’s eyebrows pinched together at that news. She lived in 4A and hadn’t even noticed she’d gotten a new neighbor. Then again, she’d been at work all day. “Oh. I guess we’re neighbors then.”

A small smile graced his full lips, and she studied it before forcing her eyes back to his. “Lucky me.”

Oh, gods. Was he... flirting with her? 

She didn’t even know. It had been so long since someone had that she’d forgotten what it sounded like. 

So she rolled her eyes good naturedly, leaning against the brick railing encasing the roof. 

“Sneaking out for a smoke?” His voice was like gravel and smoke, and his hazel eyes raked over her body in a way that made her shiver. 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded, then extended the cigarette to her in question. She smiled but shook her head and said, “I don’t smoke.”

“A good girl, then.” He didn’t sound at all bothered by that statement. And once again, his hazel eyes skirted down her body. “Do you want to sit down?”

There was almost no room on the bench, but it beat standing on the edge of the roof on such a breezy night, so she walked over and sat as far away from him as possible. 

It was still way too close. 

Her arm was pressed against hers, allowing her to feel the dense muscle covering it. She doubted she could wrap both hands around it completely, but she shut down the urge to try as she crossed her legs casually.

The warmth from his body seeped into her, goosebumps raising where they touched. “You’re warm,” she commented stupidly. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, hazel eyes scanning her face, then dropping slightly. 

No small amount of horror grew when she realized what he’d glanced at. She crossed her arms over her chest, then scowled when he grinned. 

Her eyebrows flew up, though, when a heavy arm landed across her shoulders and tucked her into a warm, firm side. 

Oh, gods above every place they connected was tingling. Heat rushed into her--both between her legs and from his side.

She needed a heat CT. 

“Is this your garden?” he asked, taking a puff of his cigarette and blowing the smoke away from her. 

She nodded, then realized her head was pressed against his chest. Elain pulled away slightly, then asked, “Will you tell me your name?”

His hazel eyes were dark, like molten caramel. She felt lost in him. “What will you give me in return?”

Every inch of her body went taut and loose at the same time. Her thigh was suddenly warm, and she looked down to see his hand resting on her skin. The back of his hand was covered in scars and tattoos and his palm was covered in callouses, but it was nothing but gentle and warm on her thigh. 

Her maybe-neighbor was perfectly still, his face cool and composed while he waited for her to react. But his eyes told her exactly what would happen if she leaned into him just a tiny amount. 

And gods, she wanted to. 

Something was holding her back though. A small voice was screaming at her, and a disgusting amount of guilt crept up her shoulders. Almost jumping out of her skin, she remembered whose existence she’d forgotten completely. 

Lucien.

Her boyfriend. 

The man she’d been attempting to sleep next to not an hour ago.

She pulled away, instantly missing his warmth. “I have a boyfriend,” she said unceremoniously and with about as much enthusiasm as someone declaring grandma was dead. 

His eyes went a little darker, even as the corner of his lips twitched. “Hm.”

“I should go.” That was beyond true. 

Lucien was trusting, and their relationship was relaxed, but practically snuggling with another man wasn’t right. Even if it was all she wanted to do at the moment. 

“Okay.”

“I hope we can be friends in the future,” she said, trying to maintain polite normalcy. “But only if you tell me your name.”

Once again, those amber eyes slid over her, and she was very, very grateful she’d crossed her arms. “We’re never going to be friends, Elain.”

The way he said it didn’t feel like a rejection; it felt like a challenge. Her body thrummed, even as she shook her head slightly and started back down the stairs. 

The picture of his face followed her all the way into her apartment, sticking in her head until she fell asleep with a soft smile on her face. 

~

The next morning, she woke up and had breakfast with Lucien, who hardly glanced up from his eggs as he asked, “Where’d you go last night? I heard you get up.”

Her heart started to race even though she’d done nothing wrong. Technically. Calming her voice, she said, “I went to the roof to check on the garden. Couldn’t sleep.”

Lucien just shrugged, knowing this was pretty typical for her. 

She knew she should tell him she’d met their new neighbor, but for some reason, her mouth stayed shut. Probably because she didn’t even know his name. 

It definitely wasn’t because she’d almost kissed him. 

“I have to go; I have an early meeting.” He worked at a corporate finance place downtown, so this wasn’t exactly groundbreaking. He got up from the table, navy suit slightly wrinkled, and kissed her brow. “Thanks for breakfast. I’ll come back Friday, okay?”

This also wasn’t news. He stayed at her place a few nights a week, most of the time Sunday and Friday. She didn’t go to his that often because she didn’t have a car and liked to walk to work. 

Elain nodded and smiled, then went to get ready once he’d left. 

Were twenty-four year-olds supposed to feel like this? Like they were stuck on a conveyor belt, destined to do the same thing for the rest of her life?

It sometimes felt like she’d gone to sleep and woken up in the life of a fifty-year old housewife. 

Whenever he stayed over, he liked coming home to a clean house and meal, so she cooked for him, pretending to love it, when in reality, she’d be just as happy eating takeout on the sofa. 

She greeted him with a smile, and they talked and watched TV together, then went to bed at the same time every night. 

And gods, it was starting to get boring. 

Even the sex was starting to follow a routine. It wasn’t written down, but Elain had noticed they slept together at the beginning of the month, then not at all for a few weeks. 

She missed the beginning of the relationship, when they were so in love and crazy about each other they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  

She didn’t expect fireworks after being together for so long, but... it had only been two years. And despite never mentioning it, Lucien was bound to propose at some point. 

Could she do this for the rest of her life? Go to work, come home, cook, go to bed? Did she love him enough for fifty years of the same routine?

That thought shocked her. Of course she did. 

He was perfect for her. He didn’t keep secrets, had a good job, and treated her with kindness and respect. So what if the fizzle had worn off? 

So what if she got more turned on sitting on a cold bench next to a complete stranger than after actual foreplay with her boyfriend?

It meant nothing. 

At least, that’s what she told herself as she put on a light blue dress and sandals and fixed her hair. 

Once she was ready, she walked outside and started down the street to her store. It was only a five minute walk, one of her favorite things about her apartment’s location. 

“Elain,” came a low voice from right next to her. 

Surprised, she turned to see her brand new neighbor walking next to her. Just like last night, he was dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt. But with the light she could make out his features better, and it did nothing to sway her of how attractive she found him. 

“Good morning.”

He smiled, and she found herself mimicking the expression. 

I mean, when someone who looked like a villainous Prince Charming smiled at you, you smiled back. 

“Better now,” he told her in a low tone, still smirking. 

“You’re a horrible flirt,” she laughed, brushing off how the comment made her skin tingle. 

“Horrible?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting one as they walked. “I’ll have to step up my game then. You look beautiful today.”

“I amend my statement. You’re a mediocre flirt.”

He blew a cloud of smoke around him and rolled his eyes, and she grinned agian. She did that a lot around him, she realized. It was easy to. 

There was just something alluring about him. He was dark and cold and beyond mysterious, but also sensual in a way she’d never seen before. It both threw her off guard and made her want to be reckless for once in her life. 

“Where are you going?”

“Work. I own the flower shop down on third street,” she told him proudly. The shop was her life’s work, and it made her insanely happy to tell people about it. 

“The Archeron?” he asked, and her brows shot up in surprise. “I work across the street. Start today, actually.”

“Oh, at the tattoo place?” 

The idea of getting a needle stabbed into her skin over and over again made her nauseous. 

Azriel noticed her expression. “You ever come in, I’ll give you a discount.”

“I’ll absolutely never take you up on the offer, but thank you. If you ever want a lovely bouquet, feel free to come on in.”

His hazel eyes met hers. “And what if I just want to see you? Do I still have to buy flowers?” There was a blush on her cheeks, and his eyes darkened when he saw it. “I like making you blush.”

Gods above, the man wasn’t giving up. 

She was surprised to find she didn’t want him to. 

She deflected anyway. “Fine. You’re an average flirt.” 

“Oh, baby girl, you have no idea.” They were somehow already in front of her shop, and he looked through the window and grimaced. “On second thought, if I want to see you, I’ll just knock on your door. Lot of flowers in there.”

“That’s kind of the point,” she reminded him, blocking out the picture of Azriel coming over to her apartment. “If I want to see you, who should I ask for?”

Humor flickered across his hard features, but he still shot down the request. 

“If you need me, I’ll be across the street encouraging people to make horrible decisions.”

Laughing, she unlocked the store and watched him walk away. Somehow, even though it was broad daylight, he was a spot of darkness on the street. 

She didn’t even know his name, but she was tempted to follow him, just to see his smile again. If seeing him smile made her feel that happy, how would it be to hear his laugh? 

More than anything, she wanted to find out.

And Elain knew right there that he’d been completely right: they would never be friends. 

______________________________________________________________

Part 2

@cursebreaker29 @sjmships @starrynightsbooks @lovemollywho @januarystears @astreia-oniria @wineywitch202 @captainthefangirlofhp @perseusannabeth @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @a-bit-of-a-cactus @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @savemesoon8 @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace @poisonous00

[angelanimedesaray]

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 9:  April

AN:  I’m getting ahead of the question now and stating that in this world, AOT isn’t an anime (Poor souls). So no, the Reader isn’t going to become omnipotent to Levi’s life/world.

They did not binge this in one day.  The first round, for sure they did, but it was a little broken up in spurts.  For the sake of brevity, considering this was already going to be a long chapter, I cut out all the flickering back and forth and just focused on their Movie Nights and them watching the show.

It might feel a weird mix of rushed and long, because they’re watching the entirety of Your Lie In April, but I wasn’t going to transcribe the whole show, so there’s a lot of summarizing and cutting things out and highlighting certain pieces, but its still long because there’s a LOT to cover.

Also because of how emotional this chapter is actually going to be, I want to just remind...that Levi is like, mid teens, and hasn’t gone through much of the stuff that adult Levi has been through, so in my mind, that justifies a bit more of a REACTION for some of this stuff.  But he’s still Levi, and he’s still going to be reserved and such, just...not as controlled as Adult Levi.

This whole chapter is like one big lead up to the next chapter, funnily enough. XD

Also got to listen to “Constellation” by Far Out feat. Karra on repeat writing this.  It felt so fitting!

I’m putting quotes from Your Lie in April in italics with quotes and an indent like this, so its clear that they came from the show.  Levi’s thoughts/memories will just be in italics, no indention .

Characters:  Levi, Reader

Pairing:  (Eventual Levi x Reader)

Warnings:   SPOILERS FOR “YOUR LIE IN APRIL”, Angst, FEELINGS, Language

Word Count:  10994

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

At long last, Y/N was finally going to show him those movie, show things she kept talking about.  He knew plays and acting and putting on an act, but the concept of a show that was saved so you could watch it whenever you wanted without having to make people do it over and over was novel to him.

Boisterously proclaiming that it was going to be a “Movie Night” day, she’d grabbed his hand and dragged him after her like she’d used to do when they were young, despite his protests.  To be fair, he didn’t try too hard to wiggle away, either, letting her pull him along to the living room as she fussed and tried to decide what they were going to watch.

After all of her attempts to explain what a movie or TV show was, she decided that the best way to explain it to him was just to show him, though she still had to stop and explain the type of show they were watching.

“Okay, so what I’m showing you right now, is actually called an anime.  It’s a type of animation from a country called Japan, and it’s made from computers or hand drawn.  They draw the story, picture by picture, and put it together to make the characters and such move, with actors doing their voices and recording it in time with the pictures, sound effects like bells and wind also being saved, background music, so on and so forth,” she explained as she cut up pieces of paper and layered them on top of each other, pulling out a pencil and drawing a circle on each page, moving its position slightly each time.  “See, if you do it frame by frame, and then move it really fast, it's like the ball is bouncing--animation, and anime, works off the same concept, except they’re drawing everything,” she continued to explain, grabbing the bottom page and then letting the papers rapidly spring free, causing Levi to see the ball she drew appear to move along the page, even though he knew it was a bunch of individual drawings going by rapidly.

“They draw a solid background that doesn’t move, and then they add another layer on top that you can see through like glass, but they draw the moving parts on that layer, so it looks like they’re in the solid background and they’re walking and whatnot.  It’s really cool--makes me wish I could draw,” she continued, putting aside the papers she’d used for her demonstration and picking up the controller so she could get them started, gesturing for Levi to take a seat on the couch.  “I haven’t seen this one yet, but a friend recommended I watch it cause I love music, and I play the piano, and she said it was a really good coming of age story.  I’m a little wary cause she said she wanted my reaction to the end, but she usually suggests stuff I love, so I’m gonna trust it,” she continued to babble as the screen lit up with colors and pictures like a computer screen, most of it nonsensical to Levi as she shifted rapidly past most of it looking for the specific show.

She stopped on something extremely colorful, blues and yellows and pinks and reds in vibrant color with four drawn people lying in what looked like the sky, and she abruptly turned to face him.  “Are you okay with having to read what they say?  The original is in a different language, so it’ll have subtitles at the bottom translating what they say.  There are other versions where they redid the speaking parts in different languages, but I really like listening to the original--I feel like it really gets the emotions across because it's so well done.”

Levi hesitated for a moment, contemplating her offer of putting it in a language they understood or keeping the original and having to read what they were saying.  Eventually, he just shrugged.  “Whichever you want.”

“Subtitles it is,” she said, turning back to the TV and messing with a few things before she finally started the show, coming over to sit by him on the couch.  He was sitting normally, his ankle propped up on his leg with one arm resting against the back of the couch, the other lying casually in his lap.  Y/N, however, sat directly beside him, his arm behind her shoulders and her side pressed slightly against his, causing Levi to glance at her, mind flashing back to how she’d sat at the piano with him not too long ago.  She wasn’t even glancing at him, though, gradually relaxing next to him like a kitten curling up to get warm, her eyes fixed on the colorful display that was now on the TV.

Turning his attention back to the TV, Levi studied the images in front of him, a cheerful bit of piano music fluttering towards them as vibrant and colorful images of a girl chasing a black cat moved seamlessly across the screen, much smoother than the quickly drawn bouncing ball Y/N had put together to describe what they would be watching.

If she was trying to sneak a peak of his reaction, she would catch his eyes had widened at the vibrant colors and amazing detail, the realistic sounds that came through and made him want to check and see if the piano behind them was being played, or there were people hiding somewhere making the character’s voices and singing the song as the scene suddenly shifted to what Y/N described to him as an intro, a quick prologue of sorts that set the tone of the show.  Thankfully, however, she’d already explained to him that the sounds were done beforehand, recorded and somehow stored so it would be repeated to the images on the screen as they watched.

It was a little...outside his realm of understanding, how it all worked, and he had the sneaking suspicion he’d just have to accept that it just was and he needed to sit back and try to enjoy it.  That was how a show was supposed to work, right?  And that was exactly what Y/N seemed to be doing.

As she had warned him, the characters were speaking an entirely different language, so Levi couldn’t understand what was being said on its own.  Thankfully, there were the subtitles to translate, Levi’s gaze flickering between reading the small letters to looking at the colorful screen to see what was happening, trying not to get too caught up in the details he didn’t understand, like the games the kids were playing, and how different the environment was even to what he saw in Y/N’s world.

At least the basic stuff he could easily make sense of--the main character was obviously the quiet and reserved, black haired, blue eyed pianist Kousei, and the characters were around Levi and Y/N’s age.  The point of the story wasn’t clear yet, but she’d explained this was going to be episodic--it would be played like chapters in a novel, stopping at the end of a chapter before they would have to start the next one.  So it might be a while before he started catching that.  Right now, they were meeting characters, finding out their relationship to one another and getting hints at the history between them all.

Like the fact that Kousei lived alone because his father was absent, and his mother was deceased.  She’d succumbed to illness when he was still young.  That alone had the stirrings of empathy settling in Levi’s chest for the main character.  He couldn’t relate to the abuse, but the desire to make her better, that somehow he could do something to make her feel better did resonate.  It made him listen to their conversations a bit more, since he already had a foothold and something relatable.

Once he started drawing comparisons to the story unfolding in front of him, he couldn’t stop noticing them.

“The moment I met him, my life changed.  Everything I saw, heard, and felt.  All the scenery around me started to take on color.  The whole world began to sparkle.”

A world of monotone, devoid of color, until he meets a certain vibrant youth who brings a sudden rush of color and life into the world around her, dragging Kousei in by the hand--as if he could ever resist the force of nature she was.

Hm.  He wondered who that reminded him of.

He didn’t even notice when the “chapter” ended and the next started, his gaze flickering subtly towards Y/N on the couch beside him, appearing just as taken by the story as he already was.

However, this new chapter did bring about new questions, and was a bit closer to his grasp of understanding after watching Y/N play music for so long.

“Do you ever do competitions?” Levi asked as the characters walked around the competition and the history Kousei had at this specific building was teased, easily able to see that there was a piano on the stage despite it being a violin competition.  Surely if there were competitions for violins, there were for pianos?

She shook her head, chewing slightly on her lower lip as she answered him.  “No way--I play piano for myself and a few people.  I’m not looking to make a career of it or become famous for it.  Not to mention, I don’t think I’m cut out for competitions.  There’s a lot of pressure, and they’re really strict about playing the pieces exactly how they were originally written.  I want to play the piano how I feel, and that’s not always by paying attention to how it's written on the sheet.”

“And violins?  What are they like?” he asked.  He hadn’t seen or heard a violin yet, and was curious to hear what they would sound like.

“They’re a string instrument--portable, small.  Really beautiful, too--they’re my second favorite instrument.  They usually pair wonderfully with pianos--I’m pretty sure it’s common for a piano to accompany a violin in shows and competitions.”

Levi hushed with his questions again as the scenes playing out on the TV continued to unfold and the first violin performer took the stage, Levi hearing the light and lively music of the violin for the first time, the same song being performed over and over by the nondescript and nameless musicians on the stage in the show.

Beside him, Y/N was slowly tilting her head side to side as she listened to the music being played, eyes fixed on the screen.  She must have felt almost in her element watching this, while Levi felt a bit more like Tsubaki, not understanding a lot of the names and such that were being thrown around by the characters in discussion, but still there to enjoy it nonetheless.  When Kousei was tapping his fingers on the armchair to the piano music, Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N to see if she was doing something similar, since she seemed focused on the music as well.  It wasn’t as precise as Kousei, maybe she wasn’t playing every note in her head, but her fingers were lightly tapping against her legs like she wanted to be playing the keys on the piano.

Then came Kaori’s first performance.

Watching, Levi felt a familiarity in the girl’s intensity, once again reminded of the girl sitting next to him, who seemed to throw herself into every aspect of life around her--at least compared to him.  There was a tension in the air, a feeling that this was going to be much different than the music they’d been hearing up until this point.  Even Y/N had stilled next to him, eyes riveted to the girl on the screen.

The first notes were shocking.  After listening to Y/N play the piano for so long, even his unprofessional, inexperienced ear could hear the shift in the sound, and how rich and deep it suddenly was.  Beside him, Y/N shifted into a more upright position, eyes suddenly lighting up and sparkling as she leaned forward, her breath catching.  The ripple through the audience wasn’t just in the show, but in reality, as the two of them on the couch suddenly focused entirely on Kaori’s performance.

The girl’s eyes flashed on screen, and the music suddenly leapt to life before them, making his own heart seem to pound a little faster, the sounds pleasant and uplifting to his ears, making him restless in a good way.  It sounded similar to when Y/N played the piano with him that one day, not necessarily in skill, but in the life and emotion that was in it.

Like Y/N, Kaori was pouring herself into her playing, she shone brightly through in the piece, made like it was pulling back a curtain to reveal a part of her soul.  Kousei even said as much, stating that Kaori was making the piece hers and hers alone.

The performance ended, and Y/N suddenly grabbed his arm with a squeal.  “That was awesome!  I’m going to have to find a recording of that!” she said breathlessly.  Her excitement was infectious, and almost prompted Levi towards a smile as they slowly settled back onto the couch, the story progressing in front of them.

She was such a stark contrast to the black haired youth in front of her, the whirlwind to his reserved personality, but even she would show flashes of vulnerability, for his eyes only, it seemed.  And he did what he could to hide what he could in order to protect her, without her ever knowing, probably.

Wait, was he still thinking about Kaori and Kousei?

Levi shook his head, focusing back on what was happening, reading Kousei’s contemplations about how he could still hear the refrain of the music Kaori played in the competition he witnessed, over and over.

Levi’s fingers tapped slightly against the back of the couch and in his lap, barely tapping out the melodies for the song they’d played on the piano the other day, music he heard even when he was alone with his thoughts in his own world, still able to feel her fingers aligned with his, guiding him through each key.  He’d find himself tapping them out in rare moments of idleness, like he was still clinging to the memory of the sound even if he didn’t have a piano in his world.

Y/N shifted entirely back to her relaxed position against Levi’s side, head brushing briefly against his shoulder and making his skin tingle where the brief contact had been, his stomach squirming.

Kaori dragged poor Kousei around everywhere, usually into situations far out of his comfort zone, and far more aggressively than a certain someone sitting beside him.  However, it seemed like more often then not, those situations were wonderful places that he wouldn’t have found or experienced on his own.

She brought color to his monochrome life.

Where he was hidden in shadows, she was cast in light, and she didn’t hesitate to pull him into the sun.

”I know you’re broken and beat up, but I want you.  I choose you.  I want you here.”

The beginning chapters seemed to fly by quickly, with Kaori pushing Kousei more and more, and beside Levi, Y/N seemed to be slowly wiggling closer to him.  Was it intentional?  Did she realize she was doing it?  He did--he seemed hypersensitive to every motion, yet he didn’t pull away, didn’t even twitch.  He stayed still, like sudden movement might frighten her away as easily as a stray cat.

As intriguing as the events on the screen were--and he was taking in the information, such as how Kousei used to have a black cat, how he couldn’t hear the sound of the piano after his mother died and quit piano directly afterwards, important stuff like that--Levi’s thoughts kept wandering as he watched.

He thought of how beautiful the trees with the pink petals were, how breathtaking every scene with them was, and how prominently they seemed to feature in every scene that had something meaningful going on.  Y/N called them cherry blossom trees.  He wanted to see one.  What would it look like?  What would the scene be if he stood under one with her?

Before he knew it, Kaori had cornered Kousei into accompanying her on the piano, and they were rushing towards another performance.  Anticipation stirred in the air between him and Y/N, both of them wondering how this piece would sound, considering Kousei had already been framed as a child prodigy on the piano, and they knew Kaori was breathtaking.  What would it sound like when they played together?  Levi worried about how it would turn out, how Kousei seemed to be unraveling in front of them just before they went up on stage.

Before Kaori gave him a literal smack to get him out of his own head.

As lighthearted and carefree as she seemed to be, every now and then, she would drop these little petals of wisdom.

Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N again.

Her eyes would shift from a sparkle that almost seemed naive to a depth he hadn’t expected to see, and she’d say something that seemed beyond her years.

“Go on a journey.  A man away from home need feel no shame.”

“Natural.  Bizarre.  It’s like this girl herself is the journey with no clear destination.”

“You’re Freedom Itself.”

The couple took the stage.  The song started out slow, sensual, peaceful.  It reminded him slightly of the song Y/N taught him.

Before, predictably, Kaori brought her wild, fast paced playing back, bringing liveliness to the performance.  It started beautifully, but just as the music seemed to portray some kind of descent, Kousei lost sense of the notes, the sound distorted even for them, listening, as if they were Kousei, only able to faintly hear Kaori while the rest sounded muffled, strangled out by water.  When they were allowed to hear the sound again, it was off, it sounded harsh and jarring, out of sync.  Not at all pleasant.

Considering the earlier mentioned problems, he should have known this wasn’t going to be a perfect and completely enjoyable performance.  It was grating, and while he understood the emotional significance of seeing Kousei give up halfway through, his ears were a little grateful by that point.

The surprise was seeing Kaori stop as well.  He’d thought perhaps something would urge Kousei to start playing again, but he hadn’t expected Kaori to stop in the process.  Beside him, Y/N seemed to be biting on her thumbnail, her brows furrowed as she watched the screen in concern, a frown on her face, leg shifting restlessly around on the couch as she suddenly curled closer to Levi, directly against his side, oblivious to the surprised look he shot her because she was so focused with what was happening on the screen.

“Maybe there’s only a dark road up ahead.  But you still have to believe and keep going.  Believe that the stars will light your path, even a little bit.”

Kaori began to play again, the sound of just the violin playing on its own sounding lonely and out of place, especially when he knew there should be a piano playing with it.  All they needed was for Kousei to play again.  Would he?  No excuses, Kaori needed his support, and Levi found himself silently judging Kousei, mentally pushing him to help her, to play, because that was what she needed from him.

”So what was it that you saw in me?”

“But you have me!  Look up, and look at me.  Look at me.”

Kousei starting to play again was a relief, even if it wasn’t quite right at first.  After a bit of inner reflection, some time where they spent listening to the underwater sounds, it all faded away, and a soft scene of a mother and son filled the screen.  The mother’s softly sung lullaby was soothing, and as it shifted to a scene of the sky, Levi’s eyes widened at the brilliant beauty it was, the range of color, of blues and whites and even some purples and pinks.  How it sparkled and shimmered, stirring up emotions he didn’t know he’d buried somewhere inside him as he suddenly felt small again, curled up in a nest of soft warmth, staring out a small window up towards the sky high above him for the first time, gazing in wonder at the stars and moon that glittered high above him.

Words from one of the many times Y/N had played the piano for him drifted to his mind.  How she had perceived her music had struck some kind of chord with him, even if he wasn’t saying anything--even when he realized he had no words to describe what he was feeling listening to her play that single song.  He remembered how she’d told him that the point, what made music with her time, was how it could communicate what couldn’t be said with mere words.

The music shifted, and Kousei finally began to play, and the sound was enrapturing.  There were no words--it could only be felt, what was happening between the boy at the piano and the girl with the violin.

Could he find a violin in his world?  Could he learn to play it, so he could play with Y/N like Kousei played with Kaori?  Would they manage to produce something similar, something wonderful like that?  What would it feel like?  What would the sound between them be?  What would it say?

”I can hear your sound.”

So caught up in his thoughts, in the raw emotion and the music that had just enraptured them both, Levi was caught off guard when the mood took another shift.

He tensed, hand gripping the back of the couch a little harder as the sound faded away into an echo as Kaori suddenly collapsed.  The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to raise, warning him of something incoming, even though there was no physical threat.  He had a bad feeling, suddenly, seeing Kaori’s paler form in the hospital, seeing Kousei’s disbelieving look, the way all of her face wasn’t visible during certain key answers.  It put dread inside him over what was happening with her, where this would go.  A brief moment of happiness...but what did it mean in the long run?  What did it matter, if it was going to be ripped so harshly away, anyway?

“It was everything to you, and you’re trying to rip that away by force.  As if you were plucking off your limbs.  That’s why it hurts too much for you to bear.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to forget?  No, not a chance.  Because you and I are living for that moment.”

“I won’t forget.  I won’t forget, even if I die.”

“Thank you.”

The mood of the show mellowed drastically, far more serious notes seeping into the air around them as Kousei and those around him were faced with far more serious matters than who liked who, and music competitions.  The competitions seemed to be fading into the background, a mere backdrop to the true story.

Ah…

He might be seeing it now.

There was more to this tale than just playing in competitions.

And he had the feeling he was going to be facing some...difficult scenes.  Not the kind of gristly scenes of the everyday Underground.  The personal, emotional kind.  He was already getting flashes of past events, old emotions stirring this early on.  What would come next?  How deep was this show going to dig to bring out emotions or thoughts he didn’t even know he was keeping buried?

Y/N shifted again, now blatantly sidled up beside him, head leaning slightly to the side, coming to rest very lightly on his shoulder.  Levi stilled, pulled entirely from his thoughts, both of them seeming to hold the position to see what the other would do.

She didn’t pull away.

Neither did he.

Her head leaned a little more heavily against his shoulder, and she got more comfortable in her position next to him.  Levi relaxed, letting her do as she pleased, silently grateful for the companionable warmth her presence beside him seemed to be offering him, allowing the scarier thoughts to temporarily be soothed and chased away.  It helped that the story was shifting towards the more light-hearted as well, as Kaori and Kousei began to prepare for a piano competition.

“Before your fingers touch the keys, you must determine in your mind how you’re going to play it.  Why do you play the piano?  Is it for your sake?  For someone else’s sake?  How do you want to play this piece?”

Levi turned his head slightly to look at Y/N, curiosity stirred up in his mind as Kaori grilled Kousei for his mental imagery while he played.  “What about you?  What do you think of when you play the piano?” he asked her.

“Hm?” she asked, pulled for the first time out of the show as she turned slightly to meet his gaze, surprised by the inquiry.  “I...don’t know.  It depends on the moment.  Usually it’s memories, though.  Certain songs make me think of certain people, usually memories with that person.  Maybe something I want to do or say to them?  I haven’t thought of that much before...usually I just...do it.  And I tend to get lost in what I’m doing, too.  I guess that’s part of the reason why I haven’t thought of it much before.”

Levi continued to look at her even as she turned her attention back to the show, barely holding back a question that bubbled up inside him.

Have you ever thought of me?

She was teaching him to play the piano, right?  What would his mental imagery be when he played?

While Levi got his quick question in and mulled over his own thoughts once more, the mood shifted to something more serious in the show again.

Kaori was worried she was being too pushy, that Kousei might resent him for forcing him into the position he was in, now.  That she was being too hard on him.  And something that they said resonated with him, because of recent events.

“You’re suffering because of me.  I’m sorry.”

Levi saw Y/N in front of him in his mind’s eye.  Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched, and she was on the verge of tears after his barbed words expressing how shitty this situation was for him, how it teased him with what he could never have.  Did she blame herself, for him being pulled into her world, always around her for a brief while before he was kicked back?

But again, she’d been right.  Even if it was brief, that didn’t mean the time he spent here with her was worthless.  It still meant something to him, and it still brought him some comfort and, oddly enough, a sense of security.  From the very first time they’d met, she’d provided him with somewhere he could truly feel safe and cared for.

“It was you who swept away all the dust.  For sweeping away the dust that had collected on my body...thank you.  For encountering me.”

The more hints the story dropped about Kaori’s health, the more worried Levi became about the turn this story might take.  He was bracing for impact, a small frown on his face as he saw the pile of medicine Kaori was carrying around with her at the competition.  Kousei’s musical rivals didn’t register so much with him in the previous two chapters, because he was still so focused on what was happening with Kousei and Kaori.

Y/N had gotten up at one point by now to get a drink, bringing back a water for him to sip on as they continued the story, time passing by without either of their knowledge of just how long they’d been sitting here.  Even Levi, usually so much more active, was content to sit here and watch, hardly noticing his inactivity as he drank up every scene, every word, some ringing out through his mind, others falling into place as narrative importance, worry and elation and nostalgia, as well as so much more, all stirred together inside him, Y/N curled up like a kitten at his side, his arm still leaning against the back of the couch, his hand resting softly on her shoulder.

However, while he and Y/N were falling into a position of ease, the story seemed to be starting to shift more to the relationship between Kousei and his mother, and what happened to her.  Kaori was getting worse, it seemed, and they were digging into a relationship that felt, in certain ways, similar to what Levi had gone through, and not too long ago, either, now that he was forced to look at it.  It made him...uncomfortable, to say the least, but he wasn’t saying anything--he needed to see where this story was headed, with how invested he was at this point.  And even if it got personal, he thought he might be able to sit and endure it all the same.

”My mom’s coming from the hospital to see me perform...so you see, in order to make Mom well again, in order to make her happy, I’m gonna play my very best as a gift!”

The first hit actually made him flinch.  It was slight, but it was there, and Y/N might have caught it--he wasn’t expecting it, not from the tone, or what had just been discussed, or the way the scene changed so rapidly from the cheers of the audience after little Kousei finished playing his best for his mother to the slap across his face from the ailing woman.  He suddenly felt tense, his hand still on Y/N’s shoulder and his expression suddenly unreadable as the hits kept coming, making something dark and angry well up inside him as Kousei was hit hard enough to draw blood against a backdrop of the abuse he’d been suffering the entire time.

Perhaps Y/N hadn’t caught it, because she was flinching as well, and her reaction was far more open on her face, eyes watering with near-tears, a slight shake in her body, and the occasional, shaking breath.

”All I wanted was for you to get better.  All I wanted was for you to be happy.  And yet...I wish you would just die.”

“That was the last time I said anything to my mom.”

Levi’s grip tightened on Y/N’s shoulder, but neither of them said a word, a grimness in the air as they continued to watch the story in front of them that had started so colorful but was taking a darker turn rather quickly.

Levi scowled slightly at the switch to such an upbeat little song at the sudden end of the chapter, which would be followed by another upbeat song at the beginning of the next.

“These ‘intros’ and ‘outros’ are deceptively cheerful,” Levi criticized.

“What’s a good story without some struggle?” Y/N replied, though she briefly untangled herself from her position at Levi’s side and wiggled off the couch.  “Though, I think I’m going to go grab some tissues.  I’m starting to think there’s going to be some really sad or heartfelt stuff coming up.  Tell me when it’s back on if I’m still missing!” she added before darting away, leaving Levi to sigh quietly to himself and look up at the ceiling, keeping track of the show in front of him as he waited for her to run off and come back with a colorful box, squirming back into place beside him and letting his hand return to her shoulder as she placed the box next to her on the couch, sighing contently.

“The show must go on!” she insisted, face devoid of the strong emotion they’d been sharing just a few moments ago.  She settled next to him with a soft sigh, the sight of Kousei struggling at the piano returning where the previous chapter left off.

They watched him struggle against the ghost of his mother, trying to force himself to play through it, to play even though he couldn’t hear, even as the sound grated on them.  Watched as he slowly gave up, until he stopped entirely before the song was even over, just like he had with Kaori.

Part of him had expected Kousei to have some kind of revelation just before he quit and push through, but he’d really stopped.  Now it just remained to be seen if he could start again.  Of course, after his performance with Kaori, they knew he was disqualified.  But would he find a reason to play anyway, like she had?

”Even the you that’s here inside me, won’t let me give up.  That day, I wonder.  What did you play for?”

Levi felt the ghost of her fingers on his again, unaware that he was tapping the keys against the skin of her shoulder at the memory.

Once more, the sound changed as Kousei found his reason to play.  The girl who’d changed his world from monotone to color, who dragged him into a whirlwind of life without giving him the chance to think twice about it.

“Just one person matters to me.  Only you matter.  Thank you...Will it reach her?  I hope it reaches her.”

”Your hidden emotions.  The you that you’ve never known.  The piano drags out everything…”

Levi’s gaze once more was unfocused on the screen as he was swept away in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking back to the times he’d listened to Y/N play.  What had he been hearing those days?  What would he hear in her playing in the future?  If he put enough effort into learning to play as she tried to teach him...could it help him communicate some of the things he struggled to say?  It was at least worth giving it a shot.

And he would be sure to pay closer attention in the future to see what he could hear, what he may not be aware of.

The pacing lulled into something more relaxed once more, a brief reprieve after the emotions that were just thrown at them, allowing him and Y/N to talk a bit more, both of them keeping one eye on the subtitles even as they made little comments about what they’d heard so far.  The unspoken love triangle?  Maybe it was a triangle.  The romantic feelings were crisscrossed and all over the place between this group of friends.  They commented on their observations about Kousei and Kaori, what they thought was going to become of the two as they watched, whether Kaori or Tsubaki would end up the one with him in the future.

Music was another thing they talked about, obviously.  How they wanted to hear Kousei and Kaori play together again--and were excited they had the chance to with the upcoming concert.  Y/N also expressed how she loved Chopin pieces, and as a result was happy about how many Chopin pieces were in the show so far and was hoping to hear more.  She also mentioned that Love’s Sorrow, the song they were working on now for the concert, was a beautiful piece--mournful, obviously, but beautiful.  She even offered to help him learn it when he got more used to the piano if he wanted to.

Levi was a little distracted, though, by the further warning signs that something was going to happen to Kaori.  In the same stroke that he contemplated how she had a skill for seeing the beauty in the world, like Y/N tended to do for him, she said something ominous that further solidified a growing suspicion that Levi was keeping in mind.

“You know, I’m not always going to be around to help you.”

As worried about Kaori as that line made Levi for the context of the show, it also reminded him of his own situation with Y/N.  He helped when he could, but he was absent so often...and it worked both ways.  He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself when he was on his own, but Y/N he worried about.  What if something serious happened when he wasn’t around to help her?  Would she be all right?  Would she be able to take care of herself until he could be here to help her?

It was another line that resonated with him, another one that was going to burn in his mind and make him brood over their situation.  This show was rife with them, and it had his emotions all over the place, despite his outward calm posture.

He had no way of knowing just how strongly the next chapter was going to hit him.

He was as riled up as Kousei after hearing that smart mouthed kid claim that the music Kaori made was just disastrous noise.  If he’d ever heard someone say that about the music Y/N played, he was liable to sock them in the mouth.  Honestly, after that comment, he’d thought that the focus was going to be on Kaori again, even with all the recent focus on Kousei’s mother.  That misconception was quickly fixed, though, when the chapter began with a flashback to Kousei’s mother and how he became a pianist, further reinforced when Kousei started to play and they were given the first glimpses into his thought process, and what his new mentor--his mother’s old friend--was thinking.

Kousei’s mother’s favorite song, Kousei’s lullaby.

”Would she have played it like this?”

Kousei was curled up against the wall in the darkness of a room with no one else, knees pulled up to his chest, head buried, trying to shut out the world, the woman who’d known and been close to Kousei’s mother finding him in the darkness as Kousei cried out for his mother, for someone to help him, save him.  Levi tensed, going completely still beside Y/N with his gaze riveted on the scene in front of him.

”That son of ours is about to bid you a last farewell.”

”Will it reach her?”

Levi’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together as he attempted to keep a lid on the emotions that were trying to rise inside him again.

“After I’m gone, what’s going to become of Kousei?  Will he be able to earn a living?”

There was a pressure on his chest making it impossible to breathe and a forceful pain in his throat that was pushing right at the back, like there was something stuck there that wanted to come out but couldn’t, because he wouldn’t let it no matter how much it pushed.

”What a terrible mother.  There’s nothing I can leave that boy...”

His breathing ground to a halt except for the barest, shaking whisper through his nose.

“I wish I could’ve stayed with him longer...Will my treasure ever find happiness?”

Eyes fixed on the screen, Levi suddenly felt the overwhelming need to bolt, could feel his fingers and legs twitch like he was about to without warning, but the music was reaching a crescendo, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he might be able to make it through this, even as the pain in his throat and the pressure on his chest seemed to grow more crushing, more painful, so much harder to contain.

”Do you think it reached my mom?  The way I played my very best?  Do you think it reached Mom?”

“You two are connected, aren’t you?  Of course it reached her.”

Kousei broke on screen, and Levi suddenly realized he wasn’t going to make it to the end of the episode.  He needed to bolt now or he might shatter.

Levi tapped Y/N on the shoulder to get her to move, not daring to look at her and possible see her a crying mess already at the emotional scene.  He gave a brief, “I need to take a shit,” that he managed to get out in a steady voice past the pain in his throat by some miracle, and then stood up, the brief statement her only warning to shift before his movement accidentally dumped her on the ground.  He didn’t run to the bathroom, that would be too much of a tell.  Instead, he got up calmly and made his way to the bathroom, not hurrying his step until he was out of sight and already halfway up the stairs.

By the time he reached the bathroom, he couldn’t hold it back any further, safely locked behind the bathroom door with the water in the sink running seconds before he finally choked on the feeling in his throat and chest.  A strangled sound left him, and he leaned over the sink, trying to catch his breath even as his body tried to make him sob.  His breaths hitched painfully, a slight shake in his hands before they clenched the edge of the sink, shoulders hunched and teeth grinding painfully as a soft whine escaped his rigid body.

Y/N was waiting for him.  He couldn’t stay up here forever, but he at least had to get ahold of himself before he headed back down there.  Out of stubborn determination, Levi tried to gulp in air and steady his breath and hands.  Once he had a strong enough hold of his breathing, he cupped his hands under the water and splashed some of it onto his face to help calm himself down.

Only when he felt his composure had returned, Levi dried off his face and hands, then carefully made his way back downstairs, well-aware that the chapter wasn’t even over, and there were still several chapters left--nine, according to Y/N.

A lot could happen in nine chapters.

Levi calmly returned to his seat on the couch, Y/N giving him a quizzical, examining look before she resumed the position they’d been in before resuming the show in the exact spot he’d left--thankfully, it was after Kousei’s breakdown, so he wouldn’t have to see any of that again.

That didn’t, however, mean that he was in the clear.  No, now that they had put a neat little bow on Kousei’s struggle with his mental image of his mother, they were moving on to the one who had been concerning Levi since one of the first few episodes.

”There’s an ever present sorrow hanging over Arima’s music...Then it’s a demon’s path he must walk.  His growth is spurred by sorrow.  If he walks that path, he might have to lose someone to move forward.”

Kaori was in the hospital again, and Levi felt the uneasiness and dread about the direction this show was taking grow substantially.  Especially as Kousei ran inside the room and saw Kaori in the exact position his mother had been in.  The way this show was starting to dig at some subconscious and deeply buried pains and fears of his that he would rather keep far from the front of his mind, but it kept plodding on, and he felt far too invested now to just leave it where it was.  The curiosity and need to know what happened next would eat away at him if he asked Y/N to stop it there--plus, asking that might tip her off that something about it was upsetting him, considering at this point he couldn’t claim he was bored with it.

”You’re gonna be fine, right?”

“I can see you again, right?”

“You won’t leave me like my mom did, right?”

At this point, the focus on Tsubaki and Kousei’s relationship was a much needed break from the reality and darker questions being asked with Kaori and Kousei right now, questions that he had asked himself from time to time regarding Y/N, questions and concerns he didn’t want to think about for his own sanity.  What was happening with Tsubaki was more lighthearted, less grim, even if it was confusing and brought up even more questions to ask himself.  After all, Tsubaki was being faced with the question of how she felt about Kousei--the boy who had been her friend since they were little, who she was falling in love with no matter how much she tried to deny it, who she had always been beside and wanted to be beside forever.

It made him wonder.  He and Y/N were friends--had been for years now.  She was there for him during his darkest moments, and he’d been there for some of her scariest moments.  Yes, they were friends, but...was it starting to go deeper than that?  Did he feel closer to her, somehow?

Her hands had felt warm against his when they played the piano together, pressed against one another with his arms around each other so they wouldn’t get in each other’s way.  His skin had tingled where she touched him when she’d taken care of and cleaned him up after that fight.  He felt comfortable sitting beside her now, with her leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, despite how borderline intimate it felt.

Had she felt something similar?  They hadn’t really looked at each other in these moments--they’d been avoiding looking at each other whenever something like that happened, so he had no idea.  Was she aware of just how comfortable he was around her?  How different that was for him?  Did she have any clue how important she was becoming to him, how big a part of his life she had gradually become despite the very real distance and difference between their two worlds.

This entire time he’d been drawing similarities between them and Kousei and Kaori, when perhaps the comparison should have been with Tsubaki and Kousei.

It sure as hell might make him feel better, considering he was rather sure she had a terminal illness.  After growing up in the Underground and with the experiences he had so far, fatal illnesses were something he could spot, especially when there were as many warning signs as there were for Kaori.  She only seemed to be getting worse--he was pretty sure she’d been told she was going to die, even though there was no audio for the moment to confirm it.  Since the first episode, Kaori had been centered on making an impression, about living on in the memories and hearts of others--she was clearly afraid of disappearing without a trace after she was gone.

Still, amid all the aching and pain, there was still flashes of hope as Kaori struggled against her illness, and more moments that made him think about the relationship between himself and the girl next to him--more damn connections between them and Kousei and Kaori, which did nothing to sooth his nerves and fears he didn’t even know he had.

“Why are the sounds you make so beautiful I think I’m going to cry?”

“That devotion you showed.  Her heart had turned grey, and you gave it color.”

Had he managed to give her what she gave him?  He felt like he didn’t have anything to give, coming from the dreadful world he did.  She was always the one bringing color into his life, had he ever brought color to hers?  Would he ever be able to?  His world, his life, was ugly and dark and probably tragic.  What could he offer her out of that?

”Did I reach him?”

“You don’t have the time to see me.”

“It’s not about time--I want to see you.”

The chapter started so calmly--discussion about the next round of the competition, Kaori continuing her struggle to get better, Tsubaki finally admitting her feelings for Kousei in a way.  Levi even made a quip about how Watari and Kaori really needed to stop dragging him along as the awkward extra in their group, practically rubbing it in his face even if it was unintentional.  There was even another moment of resonance with something Tsubaki said to Kousei.

“So you won’t lose your way, so you won’t have regrets, I’ll stay by your side forever.”

Still, he should have seen it coming.  It shouldn’t have surprised him, considering he was well aware of the cruel shittiness of the world, even if Y/N wasn’t.  All this time he’d spent bracing himself with the hints of just how bad Kaori’s illness was, the ominous lines of hers.  All the lightheartedness and self-discovery of the past several episodes came crashing down with the emergency with Kaori as, from what Levi could see even though they clearly had far more advanced medicine that Levi knew nothing about, Kaori had some kind of close call, a brush with death, right in front of Kousei.  And then with the damn cat getting hit and dying literally moments later, Kousei having to wash the blood off of his hands and breaking down in the wake of everything that was happening.  He shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still ached to see it.

And there were two chapters left.  Realistically, he doubted that Kaori was going to recover in two chapters after all this time.  By now, he was certain that she was going to die by the end of the story.

She wasn’t even gone yet, and Kousei had already given up.  Levi had seen plenty of people reach that point.  No fight left, no will to move.  Kousei was right back in the position he’d been in at the start, the impending loss of Kaori the final nail in his coffin, his breaking point.

“Why does it have to end up this way?  I can’t...go on.  No more...I can’t try anymore.”

He hadn’t hit his breaking point--he hoped he never reached that point.  But he was sure even he had one, even if he wasn’t sure where his limit was.

Levi blinked at the white fluttering from the sky on screen. A novel sight he couldn’t ignore or just accept.  Snow, Kaori called it.

So that was what it looked like.  One of the many things he’d heard about but hadn’t seen…

“Have you seen snow before, Levi?  Since you live Underground,” Y/N suddenly asked from where she was curled up into his side, head turned to look at him curiously.  Levi shook his head no, and she hummed.  “You’ll have to show up some time in the winter so I can show you all kinds of awesome things you can do when it snows.  It’s cold, but it’s fun.  And everything looks so clean and pure...my favorite things are the trees encapsulated in ice,” she said with a wistful sigh, eventually quieting down as the scene on the screen continued to develop.

Maybe one day.  But he would have to come through not only when it was winter, but on a day that there was snow, and he had no control over when he blipped over into her world.

Blipped, blip...her word for when Levi flickered into and out of her world.  Clearly, it had caught on even in his mind.

“The people I care about keep leaving me...I’m going to be left all alone.”

Inwardly, Levi felt himself flinch, and that desire to bolt was trying to rear its head again, the desire for her to shut it off and spare him these comments that kept digging into the darker corners of himself, the weakness he kept hidden away for no one to see.

“But you have me.  But you have me.”

For the first time, Levi felt Y/N’s hand give his little squeeze on his knee as Kaori repeated her sentiment to Kousei.

Perhaps the feelings were mutual.  Maybe he wasn’t the only one drowning in emotions on the inside and drawing parallels while they watched this show, if she was giving him a little squeeze after those words.  After he registered that he had felt it, and he hadn’t imagined it, he gave her shoulder a small squeeze in return.

“I’m going to struggle as hard as I can.  Struggle, struggle, struggle, like there’s no tomorrow.”

“You gave me this desire to cling to the time that I spent with you.  Aren’t you going to struggle to?  We’re so good at struggling.”

Hell if that wasn’t the story of his life so far, right there.

Collectively, the two of them held their breath, watching as, after Kousei declared how useless it was for him to even try to play in the state he was in right now, Kaori got to her feet on her own, and the sound of the violin softly flickered towards them from the screen.  It was like the music was from a dream, her imaginary violin ethereal, Kaori lit up by a flurry of snow as she played to a crescendo and smiled at Kousei.

“See, miracles can happen just like that.”

Shaking, legs trembling, sweating, collapsed into Kousei’s arms with a breathless laugh, clinging to him like a source of comfort.  It wasn’t her reciting of the things she knew about Kousei, or what she wished she knew, that drew a response from him, but her heartfelt pleas with Kousei as he held her in her arms.

“I’m scared.  I’m scared!  Don’t leave me all alone!”

That was why it was familiar.  That was how Y/N had held him when…

And perhaps the reason he’d lashed out when he’d found out about how fleeting this world was for him had been because…

Levi shifted, and it was only when Y/N started to pull away did he realize he’d been shifting to get up and walk away, to bolt.  When she fixed him with that questioning look again, not-yet-spilled tears in her eyes from the emotion of the scene, her hand still fisted in his shirt, it brought him back to what was happening in the present, and he shook his head as if to dismiss the movement as he sat back down, relieved when the scene changed again.

Considering it was going to the competition and Kaori’s surgery at the same time, he doubted he was going to get much of a reprieve before the emotions hit again.  Kousei was still a mess, though it was a miracle he’d at least shown up to the competition, but even watching him was worrisome, wondering if he was going to break at the piano again after all this progress he’d made throughout the show, everyone watching in concern in the show and on the couch.

“I made you remember something you don’t want to remember…”

“I won’t forget, even if I die…”

“You can just forget about it all, like you’ve pressed the reset button…”

“I guess maybe we never should've met, huh?”

Levi had to close his eyes for a moment after that one, sucking in a sharp breath.  It was like it had come right out of his denial of their entire situation, how angry he’d been, the pain it had caused, how for a few moments, he’d felt like it would have been better if he could forget it all, if they had never met, because then he wouldn’t know about what he could never have.  His heart ached painfully, the words reverberating not in his mind, but in his bones as the pain in his throat already seemed to be returning.

He opened his eyes, and on screen, Kousei started to break down again, face in his hands, on the brink of tears seated at the piano, on stage in front of everyone once again.

Tsubaki sneezed, and after a few moments of reflecting, after realizing how many people he knew were there...Kousei finally began to play, the notes reverberating deep inside his chest in a full, resonating sound.  Something about it made him nostalgic, but also so...it was so…

“Bursting with such mournful color.”

The chapter suddenly came to an end mid performance, which startled Levi--especially when Y/N darted forward so suddenly to grab the remote and quickly jump to the next one, immediately snapping back into his side, clutching to his clothes like her life depended on it, curled into a ball as he realized for the first time that tissue box was suddenly right in front of her, easily accessible.

The last episode.

Considering the set-up, neither of them were going to get through this last part unscathed emotionally.

It started from the beginning of the piece this time, the commentary being made by the onlookers and Kousei different this time, centered entirely on Kousei after the very beginning.  Levi and Y/N were both enraptured by the performance though, holding to one another on the couch with gazes fixed forward, completely still, even their breathing slight as they paid full attention to every word, and let the music pull them in deeper into the emotional symphony Kousei was creating with just the piano.

“I’m so scared...Somebody…”

“But you have me.”

“I’m not alone.  From the moment that we meet someone else, none of us can ever be alone.  We’re all connected.”

Levi’s grip tightened slightly on Y/N’s shoulder again, and he felt her grip tighten in return.

“Don’t leave me all alone.”

“Dummy, you have me.”

“Inside me...you exist.”

Y/N nuzzled into his side like a cat, and he thought he felt his shirt starting to get damp.  He ignored it, keeping his grip on her firm and steady, staying still beneath her as he stared stalwartly at the screen, even as the emotions were starting to stir violently around inside him.

”No way am I going to leave you all alone.  Reach her.  Reach her.  Reach her.  Reach her.”

The scenery changed entirely, like Kousei was playing in the sky amid a shower of colors, floating around like leaves that autumn day when he and Y/N had jumped into the piles and sent them scattering into the air.  Kaori’s whispered ‘Thank you’ as Kousei carried her back down the stairs sent a shiver down his spine, especially when Kousei of the present reacted, and turned his head to see Kaori materializing beside him, violin in hand.

Beside him, there was suddenly a whine from Y/N, and a rather large sniffle, as well as that damp feeling on his clothes starting to spread.  She trembled slightly beneath his arm and hand, and he realized she was starting to cry rather heavily, her face partially buried in his side.

The music was jarring, disorienting, suddenly intense and tragic as Kousei closed his eyes, barely holding back tears.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

And there it was.

Kaori’s rich violin playing joined into Kousei’s suddenly mournful and tragic playing, and Levi realized that they were witnessing the last time the two would get to play together.  It couldn’t happen again in body, but at least in spirit.  Words weren’t needed for this moment.  Nothing was said between the characters on the screen, and not a word was spoken between Levi and Y/N.  She was continuing to cry into his side, with Levi starting to semi-awkwardly rub her shoulder to try and comfort her even as his own heart seemed to be pounding painfully at the sight in front of him, every note piercing him deeper than he thought possible with the raw emotion behind and pure weight of this single moment.  All there was at this moment in time, was him, Y/N, and the music being created on the stage in front of them between Kaori and Kousei, one last time.

A sob broke past Y/N’s control as the colorful day turned into a rich night, and Kaori stopped playing.  Levi held his breath, watching as transfixed on the scene as Kousei was transfixed on Kaori, the music softening for the briefest moment before it started to turn slow, mournful, and tragic again.

”Wait...please don’t go!”

As Kousei started to beg Kaori to do all of these things with him again, good and bad, Levi felt the pressure on his chest return, the burn in his eyes and the clench in his jaw, the pain in his throat.  Memories of his own were flickering before his eyes in place of what Kousei begged of Kaori.

A small hand offering a still-warm roll.  A splash of cool water to the face with shrieks and giggles filling the air.  The security of being able to lean comfortably against a warm back with the sun shining down from above, hands gripping his legs and his arms wrapped around the girl who carried him home on her back.  The cool taste of ice cream as they leaned against the brick store.  A gentle hand rubbing soft circles on his back as he slipped in and out of lucid thought in his feverish state.  The sound of hope amid darkness that they managed to create together despite his crude piano playing.  Her hand even now clenched tightly in his shirt seeking comfort, like when he’d led her home in the dark through the desert.

His hand was stretched out before him, pulled along by the girl that suddenly disappeared when he closed his eyes.  He tried to reach a little further, as if his fingertips could press past some veil between his world and hers, so he could reach her even for another moment.  The warmth and the softness of the comfort she wrapped him in evaporated into smoke between his fingers, disappearing in translucent curls, leaving him with nothing to hold, the weight of her presence suddenly disappearing.

What if one day he didn’t come back?

What if one day it all just...ended?  Without any warning?  The only sign that he would never return the passage of time and gradual loss of hope?

“Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t leave me behind!”

Y/N was sobbing openly into his side now, but she didn’t move to stop the show--she kept watching it.  Levi was unaware of the fact that his hand was shaking against her shoulder, all of his effort on keeping the emotions bottled inside him as he watched Kaori disappear before Kousei’s eyes in a flurry of petals, swept away by an indifferent wind.

The rest of the last chapter seemed to pass by in a blur, Levi spending most of that time trying to work his way down from the emotions that scene had stirred up in him, glancing over at Y/N to see a collection of tissues around her while her gaze remained fixed forward, still a blubbering mess over the events that were unfolding on screen.  Shards of Kaori’s letter made it through to Levi, certain fragments sticking with him in the moment, others slowly settling in likely to make an impact on him later.

“I want Kousei to play the piano for me!”

He understood that sentiment.  He loved listening to Y/N play for him, it was one of the many reasons why he brought it up so often.  Sure, it was nice she was trying to teach him to play, but the true moment of enjoyment for him was when she played for him.

“Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?”

“None of it was trivial.”

No, none of it was.  From playing card games in her room to playing tag on the playground, or eating frozen treats on the steps while they played simple games with their hands.  Every little moment was one Levi kept stored away, a secret trove of memories just for him and her, something bright and...something that the Underground couldn’t corrupt, because it couldn’t reach or touch this world or the girl at his side.

“Was I able to live inside your heart?  Do you think you’ll remember me at least a little?  You better not hit reset.  Don’t forget me, okay?  That’s a promise, okay?  I’m glad it’s you, after all.”

Like Y/N said, just because the moments were fleeting, didn’t mean they didn’t matter.  Even if they stopped one day, for whatever reason...at least he would have everything that had come before, the memories, the moments that nothing could take away.  He didn’t think she would want him to try and forget, anyway.  And a part of him wouldn’t want her to forget him, either.  Unlike everything else in his life so far, he wanted this good thing to last, one way or another.

“Will I reach you?  I hope I can reach you.”

This time, when his mind procured the image of his hand outstretched in front of him, trying to catch the disappearing back of the girl in front of him, fingers finding nothing but air, he let his hand squeeze slightly against Y/N’s shoulder once more, reminding himself she was right here in his arms right now, and not to take that for granted.  Maybe sometimes she’d be out of reach, but right now, she was right here.  She wasn’t always out of reach.  He’d just have to make each moment he was here count for something.

Thankfully, she already seemed pretty good at making that happen, so he felt like he wouldn’t have to worry about it too much.  She was always taking him by the hand to have him run with her wherever she wanted to go and explore, and so far, she hadn’t made him regret following her on her little adventures.

She made his life colorful.

“Thank you for being my friend, Levi.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea

Through The Looking Glass Tags:  @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie​ @tartheyes​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @huntersbunker​ @nefelimalfoy​ @soft-levi-girl-blog​ @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal​ @sugas-daddy7​ @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife​ @sanrioclit​

[sweetness47]

The Sleeping Beauty

Pairing Sam x Reader

@spnfluffbingo square filled: fairy tale AU

Warnings: nothing really, I don’t think anyways. Implied smut at the end? Mild violent scenes. Nothing too descriptive anywhere.

Final word count: 1924

Sam brought his arm around YN, smiling as she settled into his warm embrace. They were just hanging around, channel flipping, enjoying the quiet evening. Dean was at the bar, and Cas had gone with him, it was almost like a date, but neither would admit such a thing.

YN shivered as Sam traced along her arm, the touch so feathery soft, yet spoke volumes to the thoughts going through his mind. One of the things she liked about Sam was his quiet demeanor, the way   caressed her with a mere look, undressed her with his eyes. The thoughts that danced across his beautiful hazel orbs every time he looked at her, like she was a goddess, and he worshipped the ground she walked on, they made her feel like she could do anything as long as she had him.

They gazed at each other, lost in their silent caresses, too entranced to notice the lights flicker. There was a storm outside, so it would have been shrugged off as coincidence, until the TV went wonky, the picture flitting off and on, landing briefly on the screen of death, then landing on a movie.

“Sam, weren’t we watching Food network? How did we end up on Disney?”

Sam glanced at YN, then at the tv. Frowning, he looked back at his love. “No idea, must be some weird effect from the storm. Anyways, its one of your favorites. We can watch it if you want.”

He knew her well. Sleeping Beauty was indeed one of her all time favorite Disney classics. She was a sucker for romance and brave heroes.

YN snuggled closer to Sam. “Ok. Can you turn it up a bit though? It’s really quiet.”

No sooner did Sam touch the remote, a brilliant white light lit the entire room, and when it had subsided, Sam and YN were no longer there.

**

YN woke feeling strange, but she couldn’t figure out why. She also had no clue as to why she could hear birds chirping and smell fresh forest air. It was that moment her eyes flew open, noting she wasn’t in her bed, neither was she in her house.

In fact, she was most definitely not in her realm.

She was a cartoon, and not just any cartoon, but she was in fact, Princess Aurora.

But where was Sam? How did they get there? And how on Earth were they ever going to get home?

**

Sam woke standing in a stable, beside a horse. A cartoon horse. Running over to the fresh bucket of water, he glanced at his reflection and was shocked to see he was a cartoon. He was in Sleeping Beauty. He was Prince Philip, actually.

Maybe, YN was Aurora.

But how did this happen? He remembered when he had been transported with Dean and Cas into Scooby Doo, so maybe this was the same kind of deal. As long as they played out the story, they should be returned to their world at the end.

He just had to make sure he didn’t die, and that YN was unharmed as well. He’d only seen this particular movie a couple of times, but he knew the basics. It looked like they had come into the movie about midway, where Phillip is getting ready to go riding in the forest, and meets Aurora for the first time.

He saddled Samson and easily swung up onto the horse. He paced his ride to a slow trot, enjoying the natural sounds of the forest, but also listening for the musical voice that would lead him to YN/Aurora. He had heard her sing to many of the Disney films they’d watched over the years, and knew she could carry a tune fairly well. His opinion might be somewhat bias but in his heart he knew she was more than capable of playing this role.

**

YN, having seen this movie many times, played the role of Briar Rose perfectly. She was sent by the fairies to pick berries in the woods. She strolled along the paths, feeling the grass tickle her feet as she walked. For fun, she decided to see if she could really sing like the princess in the film, so she began humming, then quietly singing lines about animals having someone to love, yet she remained single. Her heart hoped the Prince was Sam, because he was who she desired the most.

As expected, the lovebirds finally find each other. Sam practically leaps off the horse and catches YN in his arms as she meets him halfway. They dance along the grassy meadow and sing together, gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly.

They know they can’t stay there, or run away together, if they want to go back to their own world, so Sam and YN reluctantly part ways, promising to finish the story so they can live happily ever after. Together in each other’s arms, forever.

YN returns to the cottage in the glen and finds the surprise dress and birthday cake her guardians have made. They then tell her the truth of her identity, and YN feels her heart break as she pretends to be distraught over the thought of never seeing the young man she met in the forest. Dressed in the beautiful blue gown, and covered in a blue cloak, the three fairies carefully lead the princess to her home and to her parents.

Once there, they lead her to a secluded room so they can keep her safe till the sun has set, thereby foiling the prophecy Maleficent had bestowed upon Aurora when she was a baby. The three of them combined their magic to create a beautiful crown to place upon YN’s head. She looked at the golden tiara and broke down into sobs, her head resting upon her arm on her dresser as she shed tears for her beloved.

When the fairies left her alone for a few minutes, YN knew what would come next, but the trance caused by the green orb took away all her sorrows, but also took away her free will. It was like watching from outside her body. Her mind was being controlled, but she still had her own consciousness. Ever so slowly, she climbed the steps to the top tower, where her fate awaited.

The princess entered the room the orb had coaxed her to, and walked toward the spinning wheel that stood in the middle of the floor. She could hear a menacing voice telling her to touch the spindle of the spinning wheel, but she hesitated briefly, then as the voice in her head grew more demanding, she could no longer resist.

The last thing she remembered was pricking her finger on the sharp point, her body crumpling to the ground as a deep slumber overtook her.

**

Sam made his way to the cottage he’d been ‘invited to’ by YN, but he couldn’t exactly remember what would happen next. He knew Phillip would get captured by Maleficent, and that it would be soon, but when he knocked on the cottage and stepped in, he wasn’t prepared to be overcome so quickly. The evil hordes quickly tied him up and took him away, his anger rising as the evil witch laughed at him.

Chained to the dungeon wall in Maleficent’s home, he listened to her goad him, telling him she would release him in 100 years to rescue his love, then laughing at him as he struggled to break free and kill her.

Once she left him, the three fairies, who had found Aurora lying on the ground in the tower, snuck inside the forbidden mountain where the evil witch resided, and freed Phillip from the chains. Bestowing upon him the Shield of Faith and the Mighty Sword of Truth, they led him to freedom and, after freeing Samson, they helped him escape.

Maleficent heard the commotion and was beyond angry at the incompetence of her minions. She sent a cursed wall of thorns to stop Sam from getting to the castle, but the sword he’d been gifted with cut the magical weeds with ease. He would take on the world if it meant rescuing his beloved YN.

When the thorns failed to stop him, Maleficent appeared before Phillip and spoke these words, “Now shall you deal with me, O Prince, and all the powers of hell!”

With a maniacal laugh, the witch changed, grew, and there before Sam stood a large black dragon. Sam charged at the dragon, and was met with a fiery blast. The shield easily protected him, and Phillip jumped off his horse to fight the great beast. Maleficent snapped her jaws at him, breathed fire at him, but the prince remained strong and vigilant.

When a rather powerful blast knocked Phillip’s shield away, Maleficent laughed and reveled in her almost victory. He wouldn’t survive now that he had no shield. But while she laughed, the three good fairies enchanted the Sword of truth:

O Sword of Truth, fly swift and sure,

That evil die and good endure!

When they finished the spell, Sam threw the sword at the large dragon, piercing her heart. With a great cry, the evil Maleficent fell to her death, never to darken the kingdom again.

With her death, the thorns and fire disappeared, allowing Sam to enter the castle and seek out YN. He reached the room where the fairies had laid her down on a soft bed, and bent down to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. YN woke, smiling as she gazed into her lover’s eyes.

They made their way to the grand ball room and paid respect to the king and queen, YN rushing to embrace her ‘parents’. Then the prince and princess danced and shared a kiss, and lived happily ever after.

As they kissed, lights flashed, blinding them, and they held on to each other, hoping they were going back home.

**

Sam and YN opened their eyes and found themselves back in the living room, the tv back on the Food channel and everything back to normal. They remembered everything though. Sam cleared his throat, and looked at YN.

“That was interesting.” He commented.

“It was, definitely, and kinda fun.” She replied.

“It got me thinking YN. I don’t want to waste any more time just dating you. I love you. I want to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you. Say you’ll be mine.”

YN felt her eyes sting with happy tears. “Sam, I can’t imagine any part of my future where you are not in it. You complete me, and you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to marry you, grow old with you, and have children with you.” She giggled as she said the last part. “Speaking of…I was going to tell you tonight anyways, but, um, we’ve already started the having children part.”

Sam’s eyes widened as her words caught up with him. “Really?”

The biggest grin she’d ever seen adorned his face as he joyously swung her around, planting kisses all over her face and neck. Picking her up bridal style, he took her to their room where he spent most of the night showing her how much he loved her.

@legion1993 @drkcnry67 @lyarr24 @idreamofplaid​

[dragon430]

~Where The Wheel Of Fortune Lands~ *Tarot Troop Day 11*

Fandom: American Gods

Pairing: Ostara x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: When you decide to join a game show, you meet someone amazing, and you can't help but think that it's fate.

Warning(s): None Word Count: 2693

You had never thought about joining a game show. It's not that they don't look fun. It's just that you never had the desire to be on one. And even if you did want to participate in one, the prizes were never really your style. You didn't need a new car, or your kitchen redone, or a vacation for two.

But that all changed when you found an ad for a game show looking for participants, called Twisted Themes. Now it wasn't the show itself that caught your attention; it was the prize. The winner is said to be gifted a luxury cabin with a breathtaking garden, something you wouldn't have believed by just reading the words alone. But they supplied pictures of the prize, and let's just say you couldn't resist.

So you put in your application within the hour. You had little expectations of actually being brought on as a member since, for as long as you can remember, you've had pretty terrible luck. But you never know the outcome until you try, right?

Looking back, it seems now that your luck has changed as you're on your way to the shooting sight. You had gotten an email back from the company only a few hours after submitting your application, saying you were accepted as a participant. Apparently, you lucked out and sent it in just before the deadline.

And you're happy, you are, but you're also a little...uneasy? It's hard to describe, really. You're excited about the opportunity of being on the show, and you imagine that you'll have quite a bit of fun whether you win or lose. Though there's also this uncertainty as if you made the wrong choice. Or maybe it's just on account of you being scared of making a fool of yourself on TV.

Really who knows at this point? All you do know is that you aren't turning back now. You're gonna see it through to the end no matter what and just hope for everything to go well. And if it doesn't, you can always just go home and drown your sorrows in ice cream or alcohol...or alcoholic ice cream.

The game sight comes into view, and you roll to a stop next to the entry booth. After showing them your ID and the email you received from the show, you’re free to go, being told to follow the flags and park in a spot with a yellow banner. So far, everything seemed pretty normal and organized.

Though, getting a camera shoved in your face before you can even exit your car was not your ideal way of making your first appearance.

"Everyone, welcome our fifth contestant: (Full Name)!" A middle-aged man with brown, slicked-back hair pops up next to you. Causing you to almost punch him in your fright, something that would have made your entry even worse.

He seems not to notice your flinch and continues talking eagerly. "You can go right over there with the others, and I'll explain the rules once the last opponent gets here."

You get out of your car slowly, locking the door while keeping an eye out for anyone else who might jump out at you. When you're sure you're safe, you follow the direction his finger is pointing, casting a backward glance at the over-excited man.

"Geez, could they have gotten any closer with that camera?" You mean for your grumble to go unheard. Though your words were proven to be too loud when a beautiful woman with golden hair turns towards you.

"I know, right." She smiles brightly, cupping her hand around her mouth and leaning closer to you to keep the others from hearing her next words. "I thought I was gonna get shoved back in my car by the damn thing."

You laugh at her comment, holding your hand out to her. "Yeah, you would think this is a survival show with how they're trying to take you out with it. My name is (First Name), by that way. Do you mind if I ask for yours?"

"I don't mind one bit." Her voice softens, light giggles slipping from her lips. The sound rings through the air, reminding you of the elegant singing of wind chimes dancing in the breeze. 

She reaches her hand forward, soft fingers clasping yours as she gives a firm shake. "My name is Ostara. It's a pleasure to meet you, sugar."

"A beautiful name for an even more beautiful woman. And I can assure you that the pleasure is all mine." You give her a genuine smile, one that you've never actually given a stranger before.

But she just has this energy about her that puts you at ease, that tells you that it's okay to let your guard down. And really, that's something that intrigues you but scares you at the same time.

"Well, aren't you just sweet?! I guess sugar is the perfect nickname for you."

"You can call me whatever you like-"

"Hello, contestants!! I'm your host, Drake, and I'm so happy for you all to be here! I'm sure you all know about the prize or why else would you be here, so let's get straight into the rules." As the man bounces around during his words, you're reminded of a child in a candy shop.

"This game is rather simple and is all point-based. You will all be asked a question that has to do with types of plants or flowers. When you want to answer the question, you must hit your buzzer, each of which has a different noise upon being pressed. When you answer the question correctly, you will be rewarded points. However, if you push your buzzer before I finish asking the question or you press it but don't know the answer, some points will be deducted. And those are the only rules!"

You're left nodding at Drake's explanation. The rules are simple enough, and you have no doubt that everything will go smoothly. And let's just say that you are very confident that you will do very well in this competition with all the questions being plant-based.

"Though there is a special twist!"

Now you don't like the sound of that or the devious smirk that's painted across his face. You might have to scratch things going smoothly off your mental list.

"If you remember, we had you park in front of a colored flag. Well, we had a reason for that. You see, the person who shares the same color flag as you is your teammate! Which is why we filmed you exiting your cars instead of entering the field. Isn't that exciting!"

No, it most definitely isn't exciting. You came here to have a chance of winning the prize, but now they're saying you have to have a teammate? How the hell is that supposed to work when there's only one prize? Are you supposed to share?

Well, that just put a damper on your mood. You went out of your way to travel all the way out here, and if that wasn't bad enough, you don't know any of these people. Even from the small conversation, you had with Ostara, you still don't know her well enough to know if she would actually share the prize.

And if the contest doesn't have any rules about how the prize will be shared, you may be stuck with someone who refuses to share it or doesn't know how to take care of it. But you'll keep hope that won't be the case with your partner.

"Now, now I know this isn't what you wanted when you all signed up but think of how fun it will be!" Drake continues, ignoring the unpleased grumbles of the other contestants.

"Okay, so when I call out your names, I'd like you to step forward. The ones I call at the same time are teammates, and from there, you will both go and stand behind the podium with the same colored button of the flag you parked behind. And once the teams are assigned, we will start!"

"Tom and Andrew." The two males step forward at Drake's call but refuse to look at each other. That team might not work out the best if their interaction is anything to go by. "Your team name is Aster. Shelby and Mike, you are team Nightshade."

The two meet each other with a handshake before calmly walking behind their podium. Good on them for being civil despite the circumstances. Though you have a sneaking suspicion that may only be because they have a small crush on each other, hinted at by the blushes adorning their faces. Guess you weren't the only one who got acquainted with one of the other contestants.

"And finally (First Name) and Ostara, you two are team Sunflower." Your eyes widen at Drake's sentence. When focusing on the other teams, you completely forgot about who was left with you.

Turning to face your teammate, you're greeted with a dazzling smile. "Well, I was hoping I would be teamed up with you, sugar. I think we'll make a fine team."

You can't help but return her grin; after all, how could you not. "I'll have to agree with you there. And hopefully, we can keep each other safe from the killer cameras, yeah?"

"Why, of course, we can." She giggles at your joke, a delicate hand raising to muffle the sound, and you have to resist the urge to move it. "Now come on. we have to get in our spots so that we can start this thing." You're being dragged to your podium before you have the chance to react, both of her arms securely hugged around one of your own.

"Okay, so now that you are all situated, let's jump right into things with our first question. "What is the symbolic meaning of the Abatina?"

Your hand hits the buzzer right as the last syllable leaves his lips, but before you're able to answer, Ostara speaks up. "Fickleness!"

"That is right! And the first point goes to (First Name) and Ostara."

You stare at your teammate for a second. Honestly, you didn't expect anyone to know the answer to that as usually people only know the meanings to flowers that you would give a loved one, like roses or carnations. Well, at least you won't have to carry the team now.

You return your gaze to Drake just as he flips the card with the previous question face down on his podium. "Next, when did flowers first appear?"

Just like the first question, your hand is first to buzz in, only this time you answer instead of your partner. "One hundred forty million years ago."

"Correct! Once again, the point goes to team Sunflower."

"Nice one, partner." Ostara elbows you lightly in the side, a smile shining brighter than the sun being directed your way.

You return her grin, "Not too bad yourself on the first one."

"Why, thank you." She playfully curtsies, causing you to chuckle.

"Okay, question number three! Give me an example of a plant that produces toxic substances that kill other plants around them."

Briiing. "Sunflower!" Your and Ostara's voice splits through the air. Oh yeah, you both have this in the bag.

"Okay, folks, we're on the last question, which is worth triple points. So far, our leader board is team Sunflower in first place with 275 points, Nightshade being second with 150 points, and Aster in last place with 65 points." At Drake's words, Tom and Andrew start grappling, each of them blaming the other as to why they are losing. 

Shaking your head at their childish antics, you have to hold yourself back from scoffing as security is called to take them off the set. You knew from the beginning that they didn't get along, but you thought they would still have acted their age.

Drake clears his voice, a look of annoyance quickly flashing across his face, the first emotion you've seen on him that isn't excitement. "Well, now that team Aster has been eliminated, we only have two teams left. So let's see if team Sunflower can hold their title as champions or if they are overthrown in their last step to victory. The last question is...Several centuries ago in Holland, which flower was considered more valuable than gold?"

Briiing. "Tulips." Ostara's voice rings out after you press your buzzer, the other team not having the time to hit their own button with your fast reflexes.

"Correct! And with that team, Sunflower takes their crown as our champions!!"

“We did it! I can’t believe it!” You barely have time to react before Ostara launches herself at you. Her arms encircling around your neck, legs coiling around your waist so quickly, you have just enough time to grab onto her to keep steady.

Once you're sure you won't tip over, you smile widely, too caught up in the happiness of the moment to care about the other's reactions. 

Wrapping your arms tightly around Ostara, you twirl her around. "We really did! And it's all thanks to you, Ostara!"

"Oh well," she smiles but hides her gaze behind her lashes, "I don't deserve all the credit."

She waves her hand dismissively in the air, and you catch the scent of flowers as it drifts by from her action. But it's not as strong or overpowering as perfume. No, it's a perfect blend of crisp Autumn leaves, of ripe strawberries, of the sweet aroma of wildflowers drifting by in the Spring breeze, something that fits perfectly on her.

"Though you know I am surprised by how much you knew."

You blink out of your stupor at her question, "I'm a botanist, so I kinda keep those details stored away. Though really we wouldn't have won this without you."

"If you keep saying things like that, you're gonna make me blush!"

"I don't see a problem with that." You laugh, and she lightly hits you on the shoulder.

Gazing into her eyes, you go to make a joke about her attacking you but pause. The blue of her irises is like a color you've never seen before, lighter than any flower you've ever seen and yet deeper than the sea. And really, you'd be willing to drown in them if it meant staying by her side a little longer.

Drake clearing his throat breaks you out of your trance. Looking down, you're struck with embarrassment when you realize you and Ostara are still wrapped in each other's embrace.

Coughing slightly, you look away in embarrassment. "U-um, I should probably put you down now, huh?"

"Wha-Oh. OH! Well, I guess we have been holding onto each other for quite some time."

She steps back and smooths her dress out, something you guess is a nervous habit. She shifts her face away from you, trying to use her golden locks to hide the blush across her cheeks. Not that it does anything since you've already seen it.

Before you even register doing it, you lift a hand and tuck the loose strands behind her ear. "You shouldn't hide your face when you blush. I know it's people's first instinct to look away when they're embarrassed, but you shouldn't. I mean, you're really cute when you blush; your cheeks turn the shade of a blooming rose. Though in my opinion, the color looks a lot more beautiful on you."

"Well, aren't you a charmer?!" She waves her hand in front of her face in an attempt to fan off her darkening cheeks. "I would ask you to go on, but I don't think my heart could take it."

"Then how about I continue over lunch?" You lift her hand to your lips, pressing a firm kiss to the back. Your gaze remains locked onto her blue eyes, and you throw her a wink for a little more charm.

"How could I refuse an offer like that?" She wraps her arms around yours, walking forward with you.

And you know, now that you think about it, sharing the cabin might not be too bad.

Tarot Troop Masterlist

Tarot Troop Day 10: The Hermit In The Dark Tarot Troop Day 12: May Justice Prevail

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[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

[kiwi-strawberry-banana]

So, this post is going to be an analysis on SkekTek the Scientist, comparing his movie self versus his tv self, as well as various predictions for season 2 or onwards. I know there have been analysis of him before, but this is a big ole hodgepodge of my own thoughts.

Ok, so, I will make no secret that SkekTek is my favorite, and as such I may or may not have analyzed him a lot in many pictures from the movie and tv show, and heres what I think;

The first season is only a peek at his descent into madness, as well as the lengths he will go to gain the approval of all around him.

In the show, it is already shown that SkekTek seeks the approval of those around him, especially the Emperor. He is regarded as the weakest Skeksis and, as such, is at the end of a lot of ridicule from the other Skeksis (he is most commonly referred to as "weakling" by various Skeksis including SkekVar the General, SkekMal the Hunter, and I believe SkekSo the Emperor). The ridicule is to the point where he is often secluded in his lab with his only friends being animals and Sidetic. ("SkekTek never forgets a true friend.")

His desire for acceptance from the other Skeksis is so deep reaching that he forsakes many things, such as his friendship with Aughra.

When she is being strapped to the chair, preparing to be drained, she brings up their past friendship. There is so much nuance behind here doing so. In that moment, she is reaching out to SkekTek, reminding him of what they once had, of how she hasn't forgotten.

She is reaching out and giving him a chance to stop. And if he had simply brushed her off, I wouldn't be bringing this up. But rather than immediately ignore her or respond

He looks to The Emperor, the Skeksis that rules over all of them, and one that SkekTek has been vying for approval from for so long.

And SkekSo knows it.

(Gif credit @rabid-apathy)

He doesn't tell SkekTek to get a move on, nor does he berate him. Instead, he looks to the side, almost as in a "you know what to do" type gesture. At this point, SkekTek is in too far deep, so desperate for the approval of his brethren that don't care about him in the slightest that he forsakes the possibility of rekindling a lost friendship.

"Another world, another time."

If you rewatch this scene and watch Aughras reaction after SkekTek says that (because I can't find the gif or pic of it), she is genuinely hurt and saddened by SkekTeks response. She was being genuine when she reminded him of their friendship and was hoping that maybe it could still be there, that he could stop this.

But he didn't.

And after further ridicule from multiple Skeksis and gorging himself on essence, he does what some would say is the moment he snaps.

He kills the Gruenaks.

I know this scene has already been analyzed before, so I won't go as in depth, but that moment was a very pivotal scene. Aside from it being the moment that all the anger that has been building up inside SkekTek comes out, as well as when the idea of the Garthim comes to pass, it is also both a sad and terrifying moment for both the Gruenaks and SkekTek.

For the Gruenaks, the moment is terrifying because they were so close to freedom only for the horrifying reality to come crashing back in their faces.

And for SkekTek, the moment is horrifying for two reasons. One, because he had been going through so much ridicule and mockery for so long despite everything he did for the Skeksis that the moment of two Gruenak slaves defying him ("No slaves") was the ultimate tipping point.

For so long, I don't think SkekTek even felt like one of the Skeksis. It is commented on by the Emperor when he confronts SkekTek on how much essence will be needed for immortality (Can't remember the exact quote, but it is along the lines of how SkekTek takes solace in animals compared to being around the other Skeksis). Time and time again, SkekTek rarely interacts with other Skeksis unless they need something. So when he sees the Gruenaks have turned against him, he goes on a long spiel about how he is SkekTek the Scientist, a master of life and death, etc.

But he ends it with:

"I am Skeksis!"

A yell that is desperate. A need for affirmation, one that no Skeksis has given him. And with it, he snaps.

If the Gruenaks hadn't resisted, it's likely he still would have killed them. If not, they would have at least been severely wounded. There was too much rage and, combined with him being drunk on essence, there was nothing the Gruenaks could have done to calm SkekTek down.

And that moment with the Gruenaks? That is the point where things tip.

That moment is the first big step into his descent into insanity.

There had been smaller steps up until then, such as the draining of Gelfling, the loss of his eye, the constant ridicule, and draining Aughra. But the Gruenaks was big.

Which brings me to my next point:

I don't know if this has been brought up before, if it has I have not seen it, but SkekTek is horrifyingly different when you compare his tv self and his movie self.

Tv:

Movie:

All the other Skeksis are obviously decrepit by the time of the movie (fun fact, movie SkekOk has one extra pair of glasses compared to tv SkekOk), however SkekTek is the most different.

We see him lose his eye in the show, and while the book states that he replaced his own arm and leg with robotic prosthetics, as well as put tubes in his body to study his bloodflow, those things do not happen before the tv show.

And I know this because, if you compare the two, it is clear that Skektek does have both arms in the show where as in the movie:

You can clearly see that that arm is definitely a robotic one.

(Fun fact 2, watch his scenes from the movie and watch his arms. While he will use the robotic one, he doesn't actually move that one around all that much compared to his other arm.)

Aside from his arm, movie SkekTek has a large amount of tubes, wires, and metal pieces all throughout his body, including even more where his eye prosthetic is.

I could go on with the side by side comparisons, but I think it is safe to say that there is more that happens to SkekTek aside from him aging.

But a final big change from the time of the show versus the movie has to be his animals.

I've already stated that in the show, they are his only real companions (especially Sidetic). The animals in his lab are his only company and, frankly, are rather calm when it's just SkekTek in the lab. But by the movie? He is constantly yelling at them to be quiet, regarding them cruelly and awfully while they screech about the moment he enters the room.

Which brings me to my final point and some speculation:

It is likely that, despite the creation of the Garthim, as well as him having developed the method for creating essence, SkekTek is still going to be the subject of constant ridicule by the Skeksis, to the point where his last shred of sanity snaps and he begins the experiments on his body.

Whether those experiments are due to the Emperors demand for a solution for his own deteriorating body or because SkekTek is so desperate to no longer be seen as weak that he replaces his limbs in a desperate bid for more strength, that is up for debate.

SkekTek is one of the few Skeksis to actually think about things such as the wellbeing of Thra (his momentary plea to the Emperor that the more they drain Gelfling, the faster the Darkening will spread), as well as having moments of genuine kindness to creatures that aren't Skeksis ("Hush now, hush now. All is well."), but like the rest of the Skeksis, SkekTek is driven by a combination of greed and fear, one that sends him on a downward spiral until he meets his ultimate end.

Tldr; SkekTek has a rougher time in the foreseeable future. Someone give this vulture a vacation please.

(Also, I do not condone any of the awful things SkekTek does. Yes, killing is bad.)

(Final thing, I know there is debatable continuity between the show and the movie. Even so, I still wanted to do this. Because I can.)

[quixotic-writer]

Adult Entertainment (part 2)

request: basically everyone

summary: Sal had made a bold statement saying he could last longer than Q watching porn. They both decide to put those words to the test and placed a bet in typical joker fashion: loser gets punished by the winner.

Warning: Smut ahead!

———————————————————

It had been about a week since their porn escapades that doubled as a steamy night in and they were ready for their next challenge, one that Sal had proposed afterwards: how much could they handle before they came undone untouched?

Rules were worked out between the two: They weren’t allowed to cum for a whole week to up the challenge, their hands were to be restrained the night of, they both would have their own dildo to use for some sort of pleasure (Sal suggested it), they would both throw together a playlist of porn to play for them to watch on the couch together. They would have no clue what videos they put into the playlist for the other so when they finally put themselves to the test, they would each be pleasantly surprised. Bottom line was: first one to cum gets a punishment. Simple and clean cut rules and regulations for another hot night.

Knowing the rules, it didn’t stop them from finding certain loop holes that they both didn’t mind but drove them crazy. There was only two words to describe the excruciating week: Edging and teasing. Sal’s favorite thing to do was to bend over in front of Q, giving him a full show of his ass or “accidentally” grind his ass against Q at any opportunity he could. The farthest he’s gone to torture Q was waking him up with a surprise blow job and pulling away to go and shower once he was close, this was the moment where Q almost lost his mind. As for Sal, Q would start talking dirty to him, sweet nothings serenading him and tantalizing his senses, then he would start rubbing his hands over his bulge and sometimes go as far as to start jerking him off. The moment Sal was close to cumming, he would back away and just leave him in that desperate state and quickly reminded him of the week’s rules. A taste of his own medicine.

By the time the seven days were finally done and over with, they felt so sensitive and as though the mere thought of release would be enough to get them hard and close.

They gathered all their things for the evening in the living room, the screen was already lit up and loaded up with their filthy playlist of porn, the blinds were drawn to a close to hide their dirty shenanigans from wandering eyes, and both men were stripped down to their boxers each sporting a semi hard on.

“How you feeling about this baby?” Q questions to Sal as he helps tie up his arms behind his back.

“Like this is going to be the hardest i’ve cum since my teenage years.” He jokes. His wrists are tightly (but safely) bound behind his back and the sensation of the restraint turns him on. Q helps remove his boxers and sees already how hard Sal is and feels himself twitch at the sight. “You don’t need to prep me by the way, got that bit covered.” Sal gives him a wink and Q felt his soul leave his body, but little did Sal know that Q had a surprise up his own sleeve.

Sal managed to help sloppily and loosely handcuff Q despite his arms being behind his back, he got on his hands and knees and took the band of his boxers between his teeth and gently pulled them down allowing Q to spring to life. When Q turned around to go sit on the couch, Sal felt as though he could’ve unraveled right then and there.

“Brian Quinn you naughty man.” In between the mountains of flesh tucked away was a butt plug that Q had snuck inside of him earlier that day to prep himself.

“Wasn’t used to having something in me, so I took the extra step.” Q reaches for the toy and slowly pulls it out, sad that he feels so empty, but eager knowing something better is to come. “Well Sally boy, time to put your money where your mouth is. Lets see which one of us can last longer.” Q sat himself on a dildo, slowly sinking down relishing in the full sensation of it all with a low hum. Sal joins in next to him with his own toy slowly entering him until he was fully seated with the toy poking at his prostate, making him close his eyes and bite his lip.

They take a moment to catch their breath and stare at the screen with a thumbnail of the video to play with a giant pause symbol over it. They look at each other, then to their tied up arms, then to the remote sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

“Brian Michael Quinn if you do what I think you’re about to do.” All Q does is smile and take his foot and press the play button on the remote with his big toe. Sal looks to him in disgust and makes a mental reminder to sanitize the shit out of the remote after all is said and done.

The first video begins and it was Q’s first pick: A basic vanilla porn, missionary position, minimal action, just something to get the blood pumping. Q sat in his seat and shifted slightly and felt as the toy moved around inside of him, gently grazing that special bundle of nerves, he bit his lip and hummed. Sal was trying to resist all urges to start bouncing on his toy and finally get the release he craved, but he was stubborn enough to hold himself back just to prove a point. Video one was short and over with pretty fast, but it did leave the two standing at full attention and already leaking pre-cum at the tip.

Next was Sal’s choice in video, things were slowly starting to pick up now. It was the same video of that girl riding a guy the first time they had watched porn together a week ago. Memories flooded quickly into Sal’s head that sent shockwaves to his cock and he found himself bouncing a little to release some tension. When his eyes glanced over to Q, he watched as his dick twitched in agony, now was time to play a little dirty.

“Brian, Nothing will ever compare to the way you fucked me hard that night. The way your hard cock slammed into my tight hole and filled me right up, fuck Bri, it drives me mad just thinking about it.” Sal spoke in a sultry seductive tone and watched as Q’s eyes began to haze with lust and his hips began to flick upwards in search of pleasure. He remembered the sensation vividly and recalled the way Sal felt and looked that night, the way he channeled a whole new side of him that was so sexually charged, and the dirty talk. The dirty talk is what turned him on the most, the way Sal described how horny and desperate he was without him. “Seems that you’re thinking about it too, huh? Thinking about slamming into me until i’m a whining mess below you begging to cum because i’ve been teased all week, watching me lose control in your arms and knowing you’re the one that made me unravel.” Sal kept painting such a clear picture for Q and he felt himself getting closer and closer to the euphoria he’s sought for a whole week.

But the realization that he was so close made him stop all his movements. Despite the disappointment and feeling the welling sensation die down in his pelvis, he knew what Sal was trying to play, and he refused to lose for such a pitiful reason, he would prove he had more self control. Q brought himself back down and watched the rest of the video through and knew his next choice was coming up on the queue.

When the video began, Sal’s senses felt heightened and as though his pores were shooting out lightning. Q bit his lip and smirked as he watched Sal begin to frivolously bounce on the couch next to him. Checkmate.

On occasion if the couple was feeling extra daring or knew they’d be apart for a while, they would whip out whoever’s phone was closest and hit record. It was their own personal collection of self made porn that they would indulge in whenever the mood struck them individually. Q had built up quite the collection and often turned to it when his imagination just wasn’t enough to get him off. Now he used it as his personal ammunition, and he knew he was getting exactly what he wanted.

The screen was lit up with the low quality phone footage of Sal bobbing his head up and down on Q’s dick. Filthy wet noises emanating out of Sal as he took Q further and further into his mouth making the man above him a filthy moaning mess.

“Fuck baby, your pretty little mouth feels so good around my cock. Come on now, you can take a little more darling, I know you can.” His voice is smooth and baritone, he speaks softly as a hand comes into frame and tangles into his hair and brings him down more soliciting a few gags from Sal as his nose hit Q’s stomach.

Sal at this point was fucking the toy inside of him like his life depended on it with the video playing fueling him further. He forgot all about the bet, he didn’t care if he lost, he didn’t care what his punishment would be, he wanted one thing now and he was focused on getting it. Q knew at this point he had gotten what he wanted, and all he wanted now was to watch the man he loved unravel before him. He smiled in victory and had already began plotting his special arrangements for Sal once this was all over.

“Sal, please, if you keep that up i’m gonna bust baby.” Sal felt heat rising fast in his abdomen, each time Q’s voice echoes from the TV, he felt it building quicker. His hips bucked in desperation

“Sally baby, are you close?” Sal lets out a whine in response unable to form actual words. It was enough to give Q an answer. “Look at you, getting off watching yourself pleasure me. Sensitive and desperate, so easily submissive to your desires. You’re a dirt little slut for me aren’t you? Do it then Sally baby. Cum for me on the dildo just like you did when you were horny and needy.” And just like that, with mere words and another slam of his hips downward, Sal was sent into blinding ecstasy. His torso going tense as he hunched over at the relieving sensation, hot thick ropes of white shooting out of him hard.

He collapses on his side allowing the toy to slip out of him gasping for breath feeling the energy draining quickly as sweat drips down the temples of his head. Q manages to slip his hands out of the cuffs that were (thankfully loosely wrapped around his wrists and get up off the couch to untie Sal.

“Are you okay? Did that feel good?” Sal, still in a haze smiles and nods and takes a gentle hand to Q’s cheeks and brings him in for a kiss. “Do you think you could handle more?”

“I haven’t cum in a week and i’ve got a lot of pent up energy.” Q’s eyes go dark as he gives his signature devilish grin to the man in his arms.

“Well then, my love. It’s time for your punishment then.”

———————————————————

A/N: I know this is a wee bit shorter than what I normally write ( ; w ; ) I was planning on adding the punishment to this part, but I decided why not make that a whole part in itself.. either that or i’ll come in and edit this to attach that extra bit. I’ve been slightly busy these pst few days but I just wanted to get something on here for my non-wattpad/ao3 users

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Established Relationship, Bury me with all my grammatical errors, Not Beta Read, Songfic, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content Series: Part 4 of Love in the Dark Summary:

Buck is going to fight for their love. Sugar, sprinkles and all.

[Finally we reach to the final chapter of the fourth installment ;) Thank you all :)]

Salvation of a Sinner

Eddie can smell his husband first before seeing him when he wakes up that morning. Buck smells like warm sugar and chocolate, with a hint of whipped vanilla.

For the last two and half days, Buck and Chris have been experimenting with the baked goods they supposed to prepare for the upcoming Bake Sale. Chris was quite indecisive and Buck having all the time on his hand now, decided to indulge their son and to try and see what came out the best.

The baked goods were then brought to the 118 with voting papers attached. The station actually looked brighter the moment Buck stepped inside with Carla in tow, all smiles and radiant. Eddie could see the small tension in Buck's shoulder melted away when he chanced a glance towards the locker, seeing his nameplate and gears were still there, loyally waiting for the owner to return.

Eddie himself can't wait for his husband to be cleared for duty, but presently, he needs to get ready for work, which will be long and arduous without Buck besides him.

He shifts towards Buck who is still very much asleep, marveling at the view of the peaceful features. Warm breath puffing in small huff from the parted mouth and Eddie can't resist but to lean down and kiss the edge of the red pouty lips. Buck scrunches his face when Eddie's morning stubble scratches his nose.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Eddie nuzzles into his husband's cheek, deliberately scratching the skin with his stubble knowing that will goad Buck awake.

"Ugh, go away you scratchy devil." Buck croaks, voice thick with sleep as he tries to push Eddie away before snuggling deeper into his pillow.

"Well husband of mine, do I need to remind you that you got 300 batch of Krispy treats and brownies to make today?" Eddie proceeds to scratch Buck's tousled bedhead, feeling the soft hair there, which only cause Buck to melt further in content.

"It's Rainbow Rice Krispies Treats and Cookies-and-Cream Oreo Fudge Brownies." Buck sasses. Those two got the highest vote from 118, much to Chris' delight. Despite being indecisive, Buck knew Chris was leaning towards the two, so if Buck rigged the votes just to give Chris some sense of validation, their son doesn't have to know.

"Which will not get done by themselves, fancy name or not." Eddie sasses back.

"Urgh, you’re so mean." Buck whines while stretching his elongated body like a cat. "Why can't you stay home and help me bake 'em?" Buck then plops his head into Eddie's lap, smacking his face into his husband's stomach, teasingly blowing raspberries like he usually does with Chris.

Eddie just chuckles, reminding himself how much he loves this man not to smack his arse away.

"Because you know I can't bake shit and I don't want to get my feelings hurt when you kick me out of the kitchen later. And also, why I already enlisted Carla's and Abuela's help." Eddie replies.

"You don't have to do that, you know. I can manage myself." Buck curls his hands around Eddie's waist, content with the warmth there.

"And risk Abuela killing me? No thanks." Eddie quips back. He swears even before they got married, Buck is already Abuela's favourite grandson. The man is charming, Eddie can't compete with that. But most of all, Buck is still prone to exhaustion and dizziness. Eddie sometimes caught him trying to steady himself once in a while, and while that obviously worries him, Eddie doesn't want to be condescending or patronising to Buck. Buck will hate him if he was to be treated like an invalid.

His hand then slowly travels to Buck's lower back, nearing the edge of his sweatpants and start to trace meaningless pattern there which only cause Buck to shudder with anticipation.

"Don't start something you can't finish, husband." Buck warns, breathing slightly hitched. He is not to be left alone in wanton if Eddie decides to rile him up before leaving him unsated.

"Who said I can't finish them?" Eddie smirks, bowing down to meet Buck's lips before kissing him causing Buck to grin in delight like a Cheshire cat.

"Prove it." Buck challenges.

Later, Eddie will find himself rushing through their front door trying to get to work on time, but not before leaving a very satiated husband in his wake.

///

Evan: The treats are almost done! >_< *image attached*

Eddie: They look fantastic, sweetheart! Good job! :)

Evan: But this treat *image attached* is far from being done. ;)

Eddie chokes on his freshly brewed afternoon coffee. One moment he was looking at arrays of fancy looking brownies and Krispies Treats cooling on their respective trays, then another moment he was staring at his half-naked husband, covered only in the “Lick the Spoon” apron. Buck was standing against the kitchen counter, flaunting his miles long leg with one hand teasing the gap between the thin material of the apron and the milky skin while licking a chocolate covered spatula held by the other hand. Some chocolate even dripping onto his bare chest. How did he even manage to snap this picture?

Eddie: R you crazy? Carla might see you! Or Abuela or Chris!

Eddie swears he never type that fast in his life before. He’s anxious, slightly furious, nobody is going to tell him otherwise, but he’s still saving the picture for you know, record purposes. But Eddie really wants to save Abuela, Carla and Chris from the nightmare of catching Buck sauntering around in their house naked.

Evan: Why? This treat isn’t that inviting? :(

Eddie: Evan, NO. =_=

Evan: Mean. :(

Eddie puts away his phone, determines to finish up his coffee before another alarm rings. They were having back to back medical calls all morning, so a quiet afternoon is very much appreciated.

When he is halfway through his cup, his phone vibrates again. Eddie rolls his eyes, expecting another antic of Buck sulking.

Evan: How about now? *image attached*

Eddie sputters, immediately stands up and fled downstairs while muttering furious curses under his breath, leaving a very confused Hen and Chim who are throwing each other silent glances, wondering what’s going on with the man.

“What’s up with him?” Chim whispers underneath his magazine. Hen shrugs. “Maybe a stir-crazy Buck is driving his husband out of his mind again.” Chim scoffs. “Glad I’m married to the other Buckley.” Hen smirks deviously. “Don’t be so sure. She’s still early in her pregnancy. Wait until she’s big and swollen, then we can have this conversation again.” She pats his shoulder before standing up to fix her own cup of coffee, leaving a very rattled looking Chim.

Safe in the deepest part of the storage room where nobody can take a peek on his phone screen, Eddie dares to open again the last image Buck has sent to him, slowly releasing his breath that he doesn’t even notice he’s holding. Eddie emits a strangling noise once the image popped up.  

Buck is in their bedroom, grinning widely at the mirror while still wearing the damn apron. Only now his bare ass is on full display, with little to nothing left for imagination saves only with the ribbon-loop of the apron loosely tied on his waist.

Buck flaunts his body in a way that he definitely knows is able to wake Eddie’s primal desire and he can’t risk gawking upon the picture in the common area. He has a reputation to hold, a man of principle that is not easily swayed by his sexy and charming husband.  

Eddie: Goddammit Evan! I’m at work. >:(

Evan: See you at home, husband. :)

Evan Buckley-Diaz is a menace and a chaos, but Eddie loves him anyway.

///

Later when Eddie return to a quiet home, his mouth water for totally different reason. Buck is no longer in the skimpy apron. Instead he found his husband sleeping on the couch engulfed in Eddie's LAFD hoodie and a very short shorts. Booty shorts short. His bubble butts perfectly filled them in, and it took greater self-restrain than Eddie initially thought he needed to stop himself from groping that ass, hard. From the look of it, Eddie dares to say Buck is trying to entice him when he comes home that night but finally succumb to the grip of sleep.

If Eddie didn't notice how tired Buck looks, Eddie would have him ravished there and then, consequences be damned. Plus, his husband has been riling him all over at work, but Eddie is a sensible man who thinks with his brain and not his dick, and his brain is telling him Buck needs his rest and sleep.

"Let's get you to bed, sweetheart." Eddie pulls Buck hand, trying to tug him into sitting up after he switches off the TV that is still flickering at the background.

"Carry me." Buck whines adorably, now hunching forward into Eddie’s tummy, still half-asleep.

Eddie scratches Buck's scalp before scooping him up in bridal carry. Buck has gained some of the lost weight, but he's still far along from bulking up to how he was before. At least his face is less gaunt, and he has more definition in his cheeks now.

Eddie peeks inside Chris’ room when they passed his slightly ajar door.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Eddie asks once Buck is safely deposited onto their bed. He then drags their duvet to tuck his husband in and fluffing his pillow up, pleased to see how content Buck looks.

"Em hmm." Buck replies albeit inarticulately.

"You're sure you don't need any of us accompanying you? Might be a lil bit late for me to opt out from work, but Carla and Abuela would be glad to do so. I can even cash my shift change with John tomorrow morning." Changing into his night wear, Eddie makes his way to the bathroom to wash up, keeping the door ajar. He already showers at the station beforehand so that he doesn't disturb Buck in case he's already asleep.

"Chris will be there." Buck replies while shifting on the bed to face the bathroom door.

"Chris doesn't count, sweetheart." Eddie leans on the doorframe with toothbrush still in hand.

"Just help me load them into the jeep first thing tomorrow morning and we're good." Buck half mumbles.

"Mmm." Eddie agrees, mouth full of toothpaste. “Are you sure?” He continues after spitting out the foam.

“Positive, Eddie. Now can you come in here faster. I’m cold. Need my human-radiator.”

Finishing up, Eddie proceeds to slide in under the duvet, shutting off the night lamp before pulling Buck into his embrace.

"Alright, your human-radiator is at full service. Go to sleep now. I love you." Eddie whispers to the crown of Buck's tousled head, soft curls tingling his nose.

"I love you more. Sex me." Buck starts to trace lazy patterns on Eddie's abs, nearing more to his happy trails, while trying to grind his groin with Eddie’s thigh together albeit weakly. The thin material of his booty short definitely doesn’t help Eddie’s cause here. While that is very inviting, he doesn't want them to make another hospital trip with Buck in tow. Eddie doesn’t want to be answerable to any of their family and friends as to why Buck is admitted again. Dying by being dicked.

"You're tired. I'll sex you up tomorrow morning if you up to it." Eddie swiftly catches Buck's wandering hand, immediately stopping the man from cupping his dick. If his half-hard dick has eyes, they would be giving Eddie stink eyes at the lost of sensation.

Buck seems to contemplate on the idea. "Sex me up good?" He finally concedes. Buck does feel tired. Exhausted really. If Carla and Abuela didn't help, he's positive Eddie might be coming home to him passed out on the kitchen floor.

Buck feels Eddie's lips pressed against his temple before Eddie brings Buck’s wandering hand up onto his mouth, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

"The best."

"Promises, promises."

Eddie can feel Buck relax in his hold and melted against his chest. A beat after that, Buck is already snoring softly. While Eddie feels like the weight of the day lifted from his shoulder, the weight of his husband pressing against him grounding him in a very comforting manner. Before long, Eddie finds himself drowsy and sleep comes peacefully to him.

"I thank God for everything

That you showed me, that you showed me, yeah

And I thank God for everything

That you showed me, that you showed me"

///

Buck is not a stranger at Christopher’s school events. Even before they got married, Buck had attended few show-and-tells, few plays and some projects exhibitions. However, when it comes to anything related to Chris’ English Class, Buck tends to avoid them like a plague, worried to collide with one Ana Flores. Buck is a firm believer that no confrontation is the best defense.

Ana Flores who is smart, pretty, lovely and everything nice. Ana Flores who had made Eddie acting like a fool the very first time he met her.

Ana Flores whom in Buck’s drug induced dream, smiling in their annual family Christmas card, who stands beside Eddie on Christopher’s graduation day, who sits at the front row when Christopher standing at the altar, waiting for his spouse-to-be.

So, what if Buck feels threaten by another woman. Hen said his feeling of insecurity is valid when Buck turned to her one day. Even though Ana now is not Chris’ teacher anymore, she is still the teacher responsible for special education kids. So, it was not surprising when Eddie bumped into her during the last parents-teacher meeting that eventually had led to all this mess.

Buck has forgiven Eddie and they’re past that. Even if Eddie still find it hard to believe it, Buck honestly doesn’t hold any anger, what’s more any resentment towards his husband. Eddie has confessed right after he got home that night, and ever since has been trying so hard to make amends. True, the doubt on his self-worth seems to be amplified, but Eddie keep proving to him repeatedly after the aneurysm to not be. Buck takes that as a win.

As for Ana Flores, Buck is not sure about his feeling towards the teacher. It’s not mere resentment, not bitter, not anger but more like insecurity and apprehension. Ana is everything that Buck isn’t. Specifically, Ana has something Buck will never have. A womb. The ability to carry a child. Eddie has created wonderful Christopher with Shannon before. What does Buck have to offer?

And now Buck is sweating buckets under his Henley. Even though Eddie had kept his promise and sexed him up good first thing this morning, they did nothing to calm his nerves when he starts up his jeep.

Buck knows he had come out strong to Eddie, saying he would be fine. But the truth is, he is a nervous wreck. Now Buck is starting to regret denying Eddie’s offer to come along, quoting that the team is already one man down and he did not want to impose Abuela or Carla any more than needed.

Chris is excited, ecstatic to sell the sweet goodness they have baked, and Buck doesn’t want to crash his enthusiasm by being a coward.

So here is Buck standing his ground and staking his claim, fully armored with all the sugary sweetness and one marvelous son (and a slight aching bum).

Arriving at the school, a volunteer leads them towards the registration counter where a teacher is attending eager students and equally eager parents as to their respective booth.

What is the chance that the teacher happens to be none other than Ms. Ana Flores? Well, the chance apparently is 100% for Buck because sitting at the counter, is the Ana Flores, wearing a daffodil hued blouse and sky-blue skirts. There is no denying it, she does look pretty, hair all swaying in the breeze.

Before Buck can collect his nerve, Chris has trudges forward like a man with mission. Well, they do have a mission if 300 brownies and Krispy Treats is anything to go by.

“He - Hello, Ms. Flores.” Chris strides his way towards the teacher, who later smiles brightly upon seeing the little man.

“Hello, Christopher. Are you ready to sell?” Ana greets back, now shifting her whole attention to Chris after another teacher took her place to assist other participants.

“Yeah. We baked – lots – and lots and we gonna sell lots – and lots.” Chris cheers enthusiastically. Watching Chris interacting with his (former?) teacher, Buck has since regains his confidence. You got this, Buck!

Ana looks up and saw Buck, and Buck smiles his thousand-megawatt smile, one that he used to throw around at the crowd of young spectators during their rescue. One that had made Eddie extremely jealous when a young man slipped his phone number into Buck’s pocket after saving his roommate. Here goes nothing.

Buck can’t help to notice Ana’s smile falters a bit after seeing him. Does she had hope Eddie will be the one coming? Alright, time to mark your territory, Buck. Buck braves forward, approaching the two.

“Hi, I’m Buck. I think we have met before.” Buck offers a handshake, still wearing the crowd-pleaser smile of his.

Ana seems to be pulled out from her stupor. “Yeah. Yes. I’m Ana. Umm, yes, we have met before, but we didn’t really introduce ourselves. I’m sorry, I was actually expecting Mr. Diaz. Christopher said his dad will be coming for this Bake Sale.” She replied cautiously while shaking Buck’s hand.

Buck raises his eyebrows. Huh. Cutting straight to the chase, won’t we?

But before Buck is able to open his mouth to cut Ana down a size, Chris chimes in, “Buck – Buck is my other – father, Ms. Flores. He is – my Pops.”

If anything, Buck leers wider. Take that Miss. Oh, Chris is up for a good treat this weekend. “Yeah, the name is Evan Buckley-Diaz, but people usually call me Buck. Eddie is my husband. Technically, I am the other Mr. Diaz. Is there a problem, Ms. Flores?” Buck asks while batting his eyelashes, eyes never leaving Ana’s, feigning innocence rivaling Chris’.

The moment Buck introduced himself, Ana suddenly freezes, breaking the eye contact first. Buck too, freezes because Ana froze, does that make sense? Buck can feel the electrifying tension in the air during the beat of silence between them.

What Buck does not expect is for Ana to blush. “I... well...I am,” Ana is gaping like a fish, trying to collect herself. While Chris giggles as if Ana has grown another set of head, now Buck genuinely pities her. Did he come in too strong? The momentary triumph he felt few minutes ago slowly ebbed out of him. Shaming Ana in public has never been in his plan, because Buck still remember being publicly humiliated after that poor man stole his identity to catfish unsuspecting women.

“Well, Mr Buckley...Diaz...,” Ana stammers.

“Just Buck, please.” Buck offers sympathetically.

“Well, Buck...” Now she is stumbling with the checklist, flipping through the names and stops at ‘E.B.Diaz’ written beside ‘Christopher D. B. Diaz’, oh, ooh, oooh, “your booth’s number is 29. You can unload your goods at the main entryway. Another volunteer will guide you to your booth and help you with the loads.” Ana finally gets her act together, switching into more professional demeanor, albeit a bit tensed.

“Thank you, Ms. Flores.” Buck simply said.

“Sure.” She nods ardently.

“Let’s – g – go Pops. The brow – brownies will get hot in – in the car.” Chris is already tugging Buck to move, blissfully unaware of the tension rising between the two adults.

///

When Ana sets her eyes onto one Edmundo Diaz for the first time, she knew she likes him. After knowing that Eddie's wife is out of picture long time ago, she knew she got a chance. Gathering information from Christopher’s stories, Ana collected that Eddie never tried to date again. The only constant is this guy named Buck whom according to Chris is his and his father's best friend. Chris incorporates Buck into every family-related project or homework.

She saw Buck a few times, picking up Chris from school, and even attended the school play and science fair. Tall, buff, and handsome, but she already got her eyes fixed on Mr. Diaz.

Now that Christopher is not in her class anymore, she finally made her move to convey her feeling to Mr. Diaz. She thought she would be more articulate, but she ended up jump straight to kissing Mr. Diaz after the parent-teacher conference. Which she admits, not her finesse moment, but before she can deepen the kiss, Mr. Diaz pulled back before cursing in long succession of Spanish and English. The man literally dashed across the hallway faster than the school’s track and field’s athlete. Did she feel humiliated? Yes. Will she give up? Absolutely not.

So, Ana waited for her chance to talk to Mr. Diaz privately.

But her chance never came afterwards. Later, she learnt that Buck was in hospital, which might explain the reason Christopher has been skipping schools for few days here and there.

But now, with the Bake Sale is coming, Ana sure her chance is finally here. Chris had confirmed that his father will be joining the Bake Sale and Ana can't wait. She wore her best outfit, dressed to the nine and even had her hair and nails done.

Then Ana met Buck instead of Mr. Diaz, who appears to be the one accompanying Christopher for the Bake Sale. He’s thinner than the last time Ana saw him, but otherwise looked healthy. Oh wait, scratch that. Evan Buckley-Diaz. E.B. Diaz. The E.B. Diaz. And Ana never had wished so hard upon a star for a hole to suddenly swallow her into the deepest pit, never to come up back again. Let her be buried in shame and disgrace.

///

After a very successful sale at the Bake Sale this morning, Buck and Chris return to their home with heads held high, clearly pleased with the outcome. Buck just earns himself the right to gloat to Eddie for the rest of his life. Despite he can see that Ana was actively avoiding their way, Buck didn’t allow it to bother him. What’s important is that Chris is happy, and he had stood his ground, introducing himself as Chris’ other official parent.

What he doesn’t expect is for Ana Flores to stand before their front door that late afternoon.

“I kissed Eddie.” She promptly blurts out.

Now Buck senses like he is experiencing some kind of deja vu.

///

Ana Flores might be a determined woman, but a home wrecker she is not. If confessing her sin is what needed so she can sleep at night, so be it.

And that's how she finds herself standing in front of the Diaz, no, Buckley-Diaz residence, late in the afternoon after the Bake Sale. Mrs. Dolores had given her some serious side eyes when she skipped the cleaning duty, citing family emergency. Well, technically this is an emergency. A family might be torn apart because she did something stupid.

She has drafted a perfect apology speech during her drive to the couple’s residence, but every word flew away the moment Buck opened the front door. “I kissed Eddie.” She blurts out, as finesse as the first time she kissed Mr. Diaz.

She nervously waits for the impending yells, or even slaps, but they never come. Instead she finds Buck doubling over, laughing his heart out. Now she is even more confused than the first time she discovered Mr. Diaz has remarried. Has another of his aneurysm popped?

“Mr. Buckley-Diaz…?” She inquiries, genuinely concern as to Buck’s health.

“I’m sorry. One moment. Oh, and just Buck, please.” Buck gathers his breath, some small chuckles escaping him.

“Mr. Buckley, please… I am so sorry.” Ana pleads, guilty etched on her sullen face.

“It’s okay. I gather that you didn’t know?” Buck asks back. From her demeanor after Chris dropped the bomb, she looked completely blindsided. Buck couldn’t possibly hold that against her.

Ana nodded furiously. “If I had known, I would never… I swear.”

“I believe you.”

///

The smell of rich chocolate still wafts sweetly through the front door when Eddie returns home that evening. He immediately feels at ease the moment he steps into their little house.

“I’m home.” He calls out to his family whose laughter could be heard emanating from the kitchen. To be honest, Eddie has been slightly on edge about the day, and Buck doesn’t really give him much update except from “it’s great” and “see you at home later”.

“Welcome home!” He hears Buck replies (yells) back to him.

Eddie quickly makes his way towards the kitchen. The dinner table is full of the duo’s bounties today. Chris must have convinced Buck to try everything out and Buck must have been indulging their son endlessly.

“How does it go?” Eddie questions tentatively, rounding his way to hug Buck who is sitting beside Chris.

Buck cheekily shows him the stacks of empty trays sitting by sink, waiting to be cleaned by none other than Eddie himself. Eddie can see how Chris’ and Buck’s eyes glimmers and wide grins spread across their faces, both vibrating in eagerness.

Something crossed on to his mind. “Did you guys sell everything?” Eddie exaggerates his surprise, pleased to see how both are smiling even brighter.

“Y – yes – Daddy.” Chris nods keenly, Eddie worries his neck might hurt.

“Good job big man!” Eddie throws a high five.

From the side of his eyes, he can see Buck pouting. “How about me?”

“Well, you did a good job baking, but I am sure Chris here is the selling point.” Eddie smirks teasingly.

Buck huffs. “Well, then please do a good job cleaning up those trays. Abuela wants them to be shiny when we return them later.” Buck quips before walking away with Chris in tow, ready to turn for the night.

///

Buck returns to the kitchen after finishing tucking Chris in.

“He’s asleep?” Eddie asks from the sink, still trying to scrape away the residues that somehow leaked from the baking paper.

“Not even reaching another page of the book.” Now they are on the first one of the Diary of the Wimpy Kid series. Buck then leans against the counter beside Eddie who is still struggling with the mess.

Eddie hums, still focusing hard to scrape the gooey madness that somehow refuse to go away.

“You only answered part of my question just now. How does it go?” Eddie turns towards his husband, already given up on the trays.

Oh.

“Peculiar yet funny things happened, you won’t even believe me.” Buck provides while hands pulling Eddie closer to him.

Eddie’s eyebrows crease in confusion. “Dare to enlighten me?” His hands in turn snakes around Buck’s waist.

“Ana doesn’t know that we are married. Never know that you remarried. Thought E.B. Diaz is Edmundo B. Diaz, Not Evan Buckley-Diaz. Plus, Chris had graduated from her class when we got married, so she doesn’t really get the notice.” Buck explains, patiently waiting for Eddie to wrap his head on the story.

At that very moment, Eddie’s worldview just cleared up even more. Huh.                

“Evan, I…” Eddie suddenly sounded a little bit on edge. If Ana didn’t know, then the burden of the guilt shifted onto him totally. Eddie only have himself to blame.

Sensing the tensing in Eddie’s voice and the way he is trying to free himself from their intertwined limbs, Buck just embraced him tighter and start swaying their bodies to the invisible rhythm.

“We’re past all that, Eddie. You didn’t know that she didn’t know. Plus, from what I gather, she’s the one who kissed you first, and you didn’t act upon it. This was all a huge misunderstanding. I love you, Eddie. I love our family. Nothing can take that from me, from you, from us, aneurysm or not. You need to forgive yourself, Eddie.” Buck says intently, sincerity and adoration clear in his bright eyes.  

Eddie never thought he can fall deeper in love with Buck, but he does. He whole being just fall in love even more with the man standing in his embrace. Buck is everything good that Eddie never thought he would find again after his first marriage crumbled. Buck just has that kind of power over Eddie, but Buck seems to be oblivious of it. Eddie has never been good with his words, so instead, he pulls Buck closer and press into his husband red lips in a filthy bruising kiss.

“You are my home.” Eddie whispers against Buck’s swollen lips, pressing their bodies even closer with no space left in between them.

“And you are mine.”

[euphorianyx]

Status : Complicated ~1~

Pairing: Dori Sakurada & MC Genre: Smut / Romance Summary: Me and Dori Sakurada were somehow involved. He was not my boyfriend. He never desired to be anything at all. I knew I meant nothing but just some of his time. It was like a storm taking over and there was no way making it to the end without traces. Though, I did not mind the situation at all. At least I thought so...

I pulled my leather jacket over a simple white dress that did not expose my curves too much. I grabbed my small bag then checked myself in the mirror. Realized I forgot to wear my lipstick I stopped for a moment to fix it. When I finally decided I look decent I slammed the door. 

After taking the subway I was only ten minutes away from the place I was supposed to meet with Mina. I rushed my steps towards the cafe not to keep her waiting. All of a sudden my body crashed a taller figure with dark clothes. Rubbing my shoulder, I looked up.

The guy had midnight black hair and big eyes. His lips sulked as he fixed his jacket. For a moment I thought my mind was deceiving me but when our eyes met again I was certain. He was Dori Sakurada and I had no idea what he was doing here. I bowed a little and murmured.

“I am sorry.”

Hearing me speaking Japanese he was surprised. Eyes wide he asked if I know Japanese well I bit down my lip.

“Well... I could say so so.”

A smile grew on his plump lips but it did not reach his eyes. His deep voice echoed in my ears.

“Then, I guess you can help me.”

I knew my friend was waiting but I could not miss such an opportunity. Though I playfully smiled.

“I believe you should have asked if I had time.”

He was taken aback for a good moment and stopped on his track.

“Ahh...”

It was funny seeing him struggle to find something but I saved him from the burden quickly.

“It’s your lucky day because I am in a good mood. I will take you there.”

When I grabbed his arm he started to follow me. I called my friend on our track to cancel our meeting. We had small chats about this and that and did not realize how time passed by. When he introduced himself as Akira, I was surprised but tried not to give myself away. Sometimes he smiled brightly, sometimes his words were colder than ice. The only thing I could feel he was not holding back at all. My eyes landed on this casual yet clean restaurant that cooks traditional meals.

“Do you have some time?”

I blurted out. His eyebrows were knitted together.

“What for?”

I pointed out the place.

“Let’s eat something.”

Akira’s only response was a nod. I knew he did not actually have time so I was surprised when he agreed. I asked what kind of food he liked so we could order something suitable. The dinner was quiet until he broke it.

“I have never been to this kind of place before.”

A smile grew up on my lips.

“Not hard to guess, Dori Sakurada.”

I calmly revealed even surprising myself. When he figured out I knew him all along, his eyes were colder then I have seen him in this short time. As if it was possible, his voice got even deeper.

“So you fooled me.”

I casually shook my head right away then talked after swallowing my bite.

“You wanted to be Akira and I just did not want to ruin it for you.”

His hand turned into a ball of fist before he removed it from the table. He grabbed the napkin and wiped his lips.

“Pity... I decided to be nice just for once but you don’t want it.”

That was all I heard before he threw some money on the table and dragged me out of the quiet place. I yanked my arm since it started hurting.

“Akira or Dori, be whoever you want to be. I could not care less. I will just be with you until we go there.”

He squinted his eyes.

“We are not going there.” 

I made the mistake of asking why but his ice-cold stare cut me off in my short word.

“I will give you something you will care about but have to forget.”

Before I could even process what was going on he grabbed his phone and canceled the plan he had. His long fingers tangled to mine felt warm for some reason. I knew nothing about the man in front of me but I was following him. I realized we were going back. 

We stopped in front of a big and luxurious building. It was the best hotel in the city and was the last place I could picture myself visiting. Compared to all the elegance, I looked plain next to him but he did not seem to mind that. The receptionist in the lobby just greeted him with respect and eyed me up to down. 

My palms were a little sweaty while waiting for the elevator. I took a few deep breaths to calm down but it barely worked. The doors of the elevator opened and I was hoping someone to be there but it was empty. The matte dark blue walls with silver decorations seemed even tighter. 

Dori grabbed my wrist and pushed me towards the wall. At first, I tried to resist but he grabbed my wrists and put them together above my head. When I threw him an angry look he grabbed my chin gently and turned it towards the mirror.

“Now watch and see who you actually met.”

He buried his head to my neck. Light kisses were tingling my skin and stopped a whimper before it escaped. Kisses left their place to sucking. The sensitive spot he constantly kept nibbling got me weak and I stopped caring at some point. I already wanted this and he did not make things easy at all. I could see his tall figure against mine. How his hands were skimming my chest and slowly pulling my skirt up. 

His warm fingers were on my thighs but he suddenly stopped after throwing a curse. I was a complete mess when he pulled away. I realized the door was open and someone was waiting there to get in. Dori had a big grin on his face as he whispered.

“After you...”

After a second of blankness, I finally moved and took baby steps in the hallway. His deep voice echoed behind me.

“On the right... The third room.”

This was the VIP section so the room must have been a suit. Dori stopped right behind me so I could feel his body against my back. His arms were each side of my smaller figure. Without a single word he opened the door with the black card he had in his hand. 

The suit was mostly in nude tones. The living room had two big sofas on each side of the expensive carpet and a table between them. I could see the mini bar on the left by the wall. The big flat-screen TV stood on the other side over a modern designed counter.

Though what got my attention more was the big bedroom I could see by the half ajar door. Dori unbuttoned his jacket without taking his eyes away from me. It was so intimidating that I could feel the blood rush in my veins. Folding the sleeves of his shirt he made his way towards me. He allowed my leather jacket to fall on the ground.

His lips crashed mine again while my back hit the wall next to the bedroom. His fingers ghosted on my back. His breath washed my ear before he whispered.

“You are not going in there with all these clothes on.”

He unzipped the dress and pulled it down. It flowed on my curves and pooled around my feet. I bit down my lip but his hawk eyes ignited me so I just pulled him, trying to unbutton his shirt but he caught my wrists. His fingers were quicker than my shaky hands. I pulled the fabric off of his body.

We stumbled inside the bedroom and within an instant, I found myself on the bed under him. He dive in for another kiss. The sweet torture started from my swollen lips went down to my neck. His hand caressing me along I was craving for more. 

“More...”

I barely whispered but Dori was not having it.

“Do you want more of me?”

He wanted me to say it and I did with no shame. The way he unzipped his pants and got rid of what was left between us caused my heart to beat faster. Then he filled me up. I knew he was watching and taking every little reaction from me to fuel his pride.

With a smirk on his face, he started. The way he moved in and out had no comparison. When he felt I was comfortable enough he got faster. I was biting my lips not to scream but he pulled my hand away. Skin slapping, my sweet screams, and his heavy breaths filled the room.

I felt his warmth surrounding me. It was only the moment. It was just him and I. It felt like I was alive. With his every move the pleasure swallowed me more and more. It became too much and I was hardly able to resist. I realized he knew when he whispered with his deep voice.

“Come...”

That simple word was all my body needed to come undone. My back arched as Dori let out a harsh groan. It took a while for our breaths to calm down. I spent the night between his arms with sweet things he whispered. He told me how beautiful I was, how much he enjoyed tonight. I knew they were all lies but I just let it slip because for once things felt right.

Morning light leaking through the window woke me up. When I turned around I saw Dori was all dressed up. He was smiling but it was the coldest expression he had on his face.

“Now that you got something to brag about...We can end this.”

His venom was stronger than his lies. I wanted to shout or slap him in the face but I could not. All I did was trying to explain myself but he did not even give me a chance.

“I will get going first...”

He just said then left without paying a glance towards my side. Since I did not want to linger around I took a quick shower and dried my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. Something has sure changed but I had no idea what it was. I just did not feel like the girl I have been yesterday. I grabbed everything and left with no trace behind in the room.

It was almost a week and nothing. Not a call even a simple text. Knowing that was bound to happen I sighed. Leaving my phone on the table I grabbed my laptop to watch some series to keep my mind off of him.

I was lucky to be invited to a party the following night so I spent my day shopping and getting ready. I picked up a mini bandage dress. It was burgundy and was completed with my soft pink stilettos and clutch bag. I wore my hair down and wavy. My makeup and rings completed the look. 

When I got Mina’s text letting me know she arrived to pick me up I checked myself in the mirror for the last time before I head off. She was so excited about introducing the guy she was seeing and I was encouraging her about how pretty and naive she looked.

We stopped in front of the very same hotel I have been with Dori. Thinking of it as a mockery coincidence I took a deep breath before I walked in and hated the fact I hoped to see him.

It was a huge party and the lobby was full of people with luxurious and expensive clothes. I was looking for some corner to keep away from the crowd. Then I heard Mina calling his name.

“Dori”

She chirped again with joy. What a fool I have been this whole time. They were seeing each other. My heart was aching in my chest but I was too late to avoid. They hugged each other and I kept looking at the ground. When he asked about her friend... About me... I raised my head slowly, looking right into his eyes with a smile burying the pain in my chest. I whispered my name as if we have never met.

[parkeraul]

boyfriend — prologue | s.m & t.h

warnings: cursing, smut, angst, drinking.

prologue | part 1

The term that describes exactly what’s in between the boys is quite a mystery. 

They’re far from being friends, but they’re also not declared enemies. Well, that’s what Harrison or Brian would probably answer if you ever ask them what’s the problem between your best friends? 

Around the college, it’s rare to see them actually arguing or coming for each other by the corridors or in the few classes they have together. But if you want to see things heating up, make sure you attend to the ‘friendly’ football match the guys from the Empshire University every friday after 5pm — when classes are over and the pitch is ready. It sounds childish, just like any regular boyish action if you may, but the atmosphere gets immensely heavier whenever both of them are playing in opposite teams. With that, you cannot say that Tom and Shawn aren’t exactly very similar, actually. Both competitive, both popular among people in college, both intelligent and passionate about art and its different forms. Oh, both annoyingly handsome in a way it gets most of the girls angry for not having a slight chance to trap them up onto a tightrope and call them boyfriend.  They both love going to the beach, having two or three bottles of beer and spend the rest of the day watching random sports on the TV when the day is free. 

But there are certainly lots of things that drifts one away from the other. 

Tom is a golf stan while Shawn is head–over–heels for hockey, for example.

Shawn is a helplessly romantic type of lover, might show up at your door and promise your parents he’ll drop you back home by 9. Long walks by the seashore under the moonlight — after buying you your favourite ice cream and complimenting your beautiful sundress, how amazingly well it fits you and highlights the colour of your skin. Shy touches, random love quotes and mentions of beautiful poems. Talks with you about dreams, about life and family, plans for the future. Wanna know the bands you like and what’s your favourite song ever. ‘Where’s your last name from?’ ‘What’s the class you like the least?’ ‘Do you love what you study?’. Timid & indirect flirting phrases — so he knows if it’s mutual by the way you either melt or step away — and wears his best cologne, hoping it’ll spark something inside of you. Typical Shawn Mendes. 

Tom, however, seems to be a lot more direct. If he wants you, he’ll sure let you know — probably through a joke, with a playful tone that carries all the sincerity. Festivals and crowdy — yet cozy — hangouts where you can both have an amazing time. Wants to get to know you better, making sure you know he’s paying attention to every word that comes out of your mouth by the way he looks at you so deeply, eyes shining as his irresistible smirk draws his lips. Laughs and happiness are priorities; soft but assertive touches on your hand as he walks beside you so you can notice he wants to hold hands with you; takes you to watch the city lights and goes crazy with you as your favourite song plays on his car’s radio. Stares at your lips intensely and dies inside whenever you poke your tongue out to lick them. Such a sucker type of lover, but you’ll only find it out if you stay long enough for him to trust you. Will make up dramatic scenes out of random situations to earn a laugh and wave you goodbye at your door, watching you disappear inside as he hopes your perfume is stuck on his cloth. Typical Tom Holland.

In between so many similarities and differences, there’s still a thing that connects Tom and Shawn more than football games and college classes.

Her.

When her frame crosses the rooms, it’s game over for both of them.  It’s ridiculous the way that she gets two grown–up men drooling for her effortlessly doing nothing more than just being herself. Call her a liar, but she swears she doesn’t sway her hips more intensely whenever she walks in front one of them. But it doesn’t matter, she could walk steady like a rock and it’d still light up a fire inside their boxers — to avoid saying heart because feelings aren’t part of the deal. It took a good while for her to surrender and stop messing around, finally step up and  give them a try. She always found funny the way they’d always try to impress her or melt her heart with their most incredible skills and stronger personality characteristics during the parties, or outside class begging to walk her home — getting nothing more than just her number, and then getting nothing more than a quick single response. 

No wonder why Tom enjoys reliving so much the day she finally softened up. 

“I’ve never imagined you’d be like this.”  “Like what?” Tom asks, moving tortuously slow as his grip strengthens.  “Kinky.”  She’s smiling so devilishly that he can’t help but do the same, squeezing the back of her thigh as he bends it more until the front part clinges to her boob. Like this, he gets more space to thrust into her deeper while he does his best to move closer, eyes glued on hers and lips brushing together with every push of his.  “Does that mean you had wet thoughts about me?” Tom whispers, feeling his mouth tickling hers as he rolls his hips unhurriedly. She gulps, enjoying the sensation of taking him inch by inch easily, once he’s getting soaked by her wetness and it makes his cock slide in and out deliciously.  Everything’s so deliberately intense that he can feel her core gradually swelling more, his length completely tightened inside of her warm heat holding him so delightfully. Even in his wildest dream, he’d never pictured this moment so perfectly with her looking so messily gorgeous under him. He’s sure amazed by her beauty, and now it seems to increase more his crush for her, if that’s even possible. She’s taken by surprise, noticing her throat going dry and chills taking over her entire body even though the temperature is hotter than hell. Tom never thought he’d see her weakening, but it’s not only real. It’s also priceless to watch her lips parting and eyes widening softly, pleasure mixing with the awe as he hits her g-spot with a forceful shove — which makes their skin slap together so loudly that it wouldn’t be unpredictable to get a knock on the door soon after.  “You’ve never answered my question, darlin’” He says sexily, capturing her bottom lip in between his teeth and sending her another hard stroke. She moans desperately, feeling the knot forming deep back in her pussy already supplicating for relief as it pulsates vigorously.  “Fuck, Holland,” Closing her eyes, she exhales sharply and takes a handful of the hair right above the nape of his neck. The other hand flies to his chest, scratching his flesh as it gets embellished by burning stripes of red. The strands of his chocolate hair are already a mess, making him look even more wrecked and sexy and his eyes are so dark that it matches with the atmosphere of the bedroom. “I just—”  “Just what?” And the bad thing is that his accent makes it all even worst. It’s impossible for her to resist the unmistakable sound of his voice — so unique and so sweet, but now washing her with desire as his tone falls one or two octaves and becomes low, raspy. Tucked deep inside of her, he makes quick and strong movements, knowing that he’s massaging her sensitive spot mercilessly by the way she starts squirming helplessly. Her moans turn into frantic cries, and Tom follows her because he can’t control himself and because he knows she loves when guys are loud also. He feels his cock throbbing just like her soaked walls around him and her hands instantly grab the headboard, while his fingers release her leg to curl around her throat. “Can’t even form a decent sentence, can ya?” He laughs under his breath and she swears she’s seeing stars beneath her eyelids. “Open your eyes, I wanna see you while I make you squirt all over my cock,” Tom demands, pressuring her throat a little bit more and as soon as she opens her eyes, it’s authomatic: they roll to the back of her head and flutter close again. “Open. Up.” 

With a huge effort, she does it lazily and finds his eyes already glancing at her. The moonlight breaking through the window is enough to illuminate their features enough for them to watch each other insanely dissolving in pure pleasure. There’s a glisten of sweat highlighting his defined abs and his hairline just like it’s also showing up on his lips, and she wonders if his tongue never gets tired of licking those pieces of plump skin everytime she clenches around him suddenly. Unexpectedly, Tom kisses her with a fiery craving and proves her wrong. From afar or licking inside her mouth, his tongue won’t ever get exhausted of teasing her. And she’s thankful, because the taste of sex stuck on their lips is insatiable. 

“Want to cum?” Tom breaks the kiss to ask through gritted teeth, feeling her gulping underneath his palm and she looks so damn beautiful all fucked like this.  But she only nods.  And he shoves his dick strongly at a point she thinks she’s never been hit this deep before, consequently letting her jaw fall in a silent scream.  “Betta use your mouth before I do.”  “Yes, daddy.”

That was such the perfect way to start the summer vacation, and that’s something they both know for sure. The bikini marks on her body contrasting with the rest of her tanned skin would remind her daily of a steamy week on the beach, definitely warmer in bed than on the sand. 

But by the end of the hot days — not naughtily speaking this time — the summer rain came to say and brought her a calming mood. A calm someone. 

She’s barely audible with the heavy rain pouring outside, drops hitting the ceiling harshly as she shivers  totally overpowered. Shawn’s tongue is lapping at her cunt devotedly, massaging her clit carefully, but not less intense at all. He’s savouring her like she’s his last meal, not believing his own eyes and, well, mouth too. It had never ocurred him that she’d taste this sweet and when he tries to reach her eyes, they’re closed and her face is serene. She’s got a defeated smile adorning her pretty face and her chest heavens beautifully, her hips moving delicately towards his wanting lips. 

It was hard to adapt herself to the softness at first, considering the feverish beginning of the season. But Shawn knew all too well how to ease her nerves with his skilled mouth, eating her out slow and passionate. She opens her eyes slightly to see Shawn’s lips moulding her pussy smoothly, taking her aching clit into his mouth and he looks like an angel down in there — flushed rosy cheeks under his hazel eyes, completely compelled by the sight of her splayed all over the bed so fucked for his mouth sucking on her now. Letting out a louder whimper, she takes his curls in between her fingers and rolls her hips provocatively. It obviously sparkles something inside his briefs and inside him, which leads Shawn to put one of her legs above his shoulder and circle her entrance with the tip of his forefinger. 

“Please, Shawn,” She begs under her breath, immersed in pleasure as her pussy swells under his control. “I need more.” 

And he can’t even pretend he wants to deny such a graceful requirement. 

In seconds, he inserts his finger all the way until it’s disappeared inside of her. He watches closely, forgetting to lick her purposely so he won’t miss this amazing moment. 

“More, baby.” 

He pushes the finger back and replaces it with his middle finger.  She thinks he might’ve probably understood it wrongly, but it’s just pure care.  He alternates fingers, one by one thrusting inside her soaked heat individually and she’s in the merge of losing her mind for fucks sake. Every move is too much and she’s not sure how long she can wait. 

When she considers sitting up to take the goddamn control, Shawn shoves the two fingers in a swift movement, making her back arch and a cry escape past her lips. This makes him smile, and he pumps the fingers with a certain strength as it gradually increases the wet sounds filling up the room. Every shove echoes throughout the space with smacking sounds and if she had ever felt her legs before, she doesn’t even remember. They’re trembling unstoppably as his mouth goes back on her sensitive bud, applying a heavier suction and flicking it with his tender, wet tongue. 

“Gon’ make you cum so good for me,” Shawn mutters against her, eventually switching from suctions to licks — from licks to suctions —  from suctions to kisses — from kisses to pumps. “So fuckin’ pretty taking me this well, eh?” 

And a lifetime would never be sufficient for him to compliment her enough. Even though he’s speechless to the view of her tanned body shaking more and more as she gets closer to her so–wanted high.

The thing though is that none of them had a single idea of what happened before the college days were back. And it’s true that the walls do have ears. Well, not all walls are made of concrete or bricks. Sometimes they’re ginger and tall, sometimes they’re blonde with blue eyes and a british accent.

“Dude,” Haz elbows Tom as he holds his beer still. “Don’t you think that there’s something wrong?”  “Nah,” Tom scoffs, taking a sip of his drink as they both watch her on the dance floor of Eryka’s party. By dance floor, it means large living room filled to the raftors. “She said ‘no strings attached’, so what? All the beginnings are fucked like this.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders like he’s got nothing to worry about.  “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout this,” Harrison says close to his friend’s ear and Tom follows his sight when he tilts his head back, catching the sight from all the way across the room. “A blue little bird told me she’s been seeing someone else too.” 

“If you keep staring they’ll know we’re talking about him,” Brian jokes, taking a single mouthful of his tequila shot.  “So what?” Shawn asks absentmindedly, toying with the empty beer bottle hanging in between his long fingers. “Maybe I’ll ask him to join us on some beer pong shit and finally check if what you said is true.”  “Wait, I didn’t say anything,” The ginger lifts his open hands in defeat. “Osterfield told me that. He could easily be fooling around.”  “Guess we’ll have to see, right?” This time, Shawn laughs. Maybe he doesn’t believe it at all. Maybe he doesn’t want to believe it might be true.

In between, there’s Eryka dancing with her to the beat of the music as she notices the fixed glare of the guys switching between her to each other.  “Don’t you wanna clear this up for these guys?” Eryka asks, grabbing her phone to check a message as she takes the last gulp of her drink.  “You know what do I really want?” She responds with another question, feeling the alcohol shoot some dirt and honesty to her intentions.  “Hm?”  “I want to suck him,” She comes closer to her friend and points to the left. “While he fucks me.” Pointing now to the right, she winks at Eryka and takes the empty cup from her hand, walking to the kitchen and hoping to be stalked by a very specific british guy and a very specific canadian boy.

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀: @lostinspidey — @goldenmndes — @shawnsunflower — @jawnjendes — @itrocksmysocks — @emilyxkate — @itrocksmysocks — @tell-me-when-ur-ready 

let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist.

[mymelodyheart]

Forget Me Not Chapter 7 ~The Family Gathering~

"Are ye sure ye want to be the one to tell them, Sassenach? I had it already in mind what to tell ma and da, and I'm more or less prepared," Jamie said as he handed the last of the washed plates to Claire, giving her a reassuring smile. 

"I'm definitely sure," Claire replied softly, flipping the dishcloth over her shoulder as she put away dishes in the cupboard. "Since I'm very much involved, I really ought to say something. Ma and da would probably be interested in what I have to say too. You can tell them about Annalise afterwards." 

Annalise. Christ! How could I have forgotten about her? 

Although Claire was a picture of calm, Jamie could feel the anxiety and nervousness rioting through her. It's a sixth sense he had developed where she was concerned. Jamie was very familiar with the nuances of her emotions, expressions and behaviour. And even after her six years of physical absence in his life, he could still read her like a book.

Earlier, during dinner, Jamie had announced his wish for a family meeting after their meal. Usually a loud affair, with everyone talking at the same time, the banter and chatter were toned down a notch as they noted the seriousness in Jamie's voice. Ellen, his mother, though looking a tad worried, tried to lighten the mood with a smile. "Of course, Jamie, dear. We will take our drinks in the living room after we're done eating...that's if the whole family are in agreement."

Everyone nodded in reply while Brian harumphed when his wife gave him a look, knowing he'd rather be watching sports on TV after his meal.

Although curiosity and concern were etched on everyone's faces, no one asked any questions, preferring to wait until they were all gathered in the family room. Seeing the attention had turned to Claire as they noticed her fidgeting on her seat and her face turning crimson, Jamie tried to downplay the situation by asking Geillis and Jenny's fiance, Ian, to join the family meeting.  Fuck it! They might as well know.

After dinner, Claire had volunteered to clear up, and Jamie had joined her, offering to wash the dishes while she dried. He presumed she needed time to gather her thoughts and probably, to sort out the many emotions he'd seen displayed on her face.  Christ, is she having doubts about us?

The night before, following the news of Annalise's cervical cancer and pregnancy, they both went home lost in their own thoughts, holding each other's hands after Jamie called for a cab. Claire's mere presence was a relief. How many times had they sat in silence whenever he was troubled as kids, and not a word would pass through their lips, her solace and support speaking in volumes. He still had doubts about Claire's true feelings and hoped she wasn't confusing her sibling affection for him as a love between a man and a woman that desired one another. Having kissed her and felt her respond to him after years of hoping she felt the same way, his heart felt like two stones grinding together, knowing he would be leaving soon.  It's far too soon when we should be enjoying the beginnings of a committed relationship.  But it had always been that way with her - others' needs before hers, and he felt like a reprobate and a scumbag for not giving Annalise's plight much thought.  There will be enough time for that!  Jamie had five days before he departs for France and he meant to spend every second with Claire before he goes. 

Growing up, they had been demonstrative with their affection for one another and were thick as thieves, but Jamie couldn't help but notice of late, Claire's sudden shyness whenever he was near. She was full of contradictions as there was nothing shy about her kisses when she was in his arms. Probably too much, too soon, he thought, and it didn't help that he couldn't keep his hands off her. Claire's responsiveness to his kisses took every shred of decency he possessed not to take it any further, thinking he might frighten her away.  Damn it!  He wished sometimes they didn't have those shared childhood memories labelled as siblings because it made their current relationship seem wrong in her eyes.

Without much thought of anyone that may walk in on them, he suddenly took Claire's hand and led her to the walk-in pantry. She didn't say a word, her smile hinting she knew what he was up to. In the small confines of the tiny room, he brought her up against him, enfolding her in a hug that made the world seem right again. He wanted so badly to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with what they felt for one another.

"Sassenach, after we've talked to everyone...ye and I...we're going to have a very long talk too," he muttered, grazing his teeth at the side of her neck. He heard a delicate whimper, and his heart started to race.  Oh fuck!  How could he concentrate on the task at hand when Claire reacts like that every time he touched her. It blew his mind that she enjoyed his kisses as much as he did.

"Talk sure, but kissing is better," she whispered, her hands pulling down his neck to bring his mouth closer to hers.

He resisted, though it pained him to do so. He'd taken to heart what Claire had said about doing the right thing by Annalise, but he needed to sort whatever is between them before he goes. "Christ Claire, I'm trying my hardest to be grown-up here and do the right thing when all I want is to be with ye. When I leave for France, there should be nae doubts between us and I need to know if ye'll be waiting for me. I'm all in, Sassenach...all the way in, and I want ye more than anything in life and always have, but I want ye to be sure if this is what ye want...us..."  Christ, being responsible is too fucking painful.

Claire seemed to search for the right words, as Jaime held his breath. "Yes, Jamie, I'm all in, if you are." 

It was all he needed to hear. "Good lass..." Then his mouth crushed down on Claire's for an intense kiss, willing whatever trepidation she had to vanish.

..........

This is what I want, right? Jamie...yes definitely. What if Annalise's health improves and Jamie falls in love with her again? What if the baby is his? Oh God, why am I sending this beautiful man who wants me away? It's too late to change my mind now. Fickle is immature and childish. Yes, I'm all in. I can do this. Oh fuck, what if I can't? 

One of her other biggest worries was, disappointing the only family she had left. It didn't help that memories of her being ostracised in school kept resurfacing for being unconventional. Now that she was back, what would the people that knew her, say. All she ever wanted was to fit in, and Jamie, for as long as she can remember, had always made sure she belonged. Now he wants her to belong to him...to be with him. Would that be acceptable in the eyes of the people that knew and love the Fraser family? Would ma and da be disappointed? This was in a hamlet where views and beliefs were still stuck in the past and very old fashion. In a lot of people's eyes, fostered or not, she was the Frasers' daughter, even though she had retained her real parents' name. For far too long, she suppressed the attraction she felt towards Jamie, not even daring to let it dwell in her thoughts, thinking it was unethical. Surely, not anymore, in this day and age.

Claire chewed her bottom lip, as she checked her phone, aware that Jamie's eyes were on her. She didn't want to raise her head in case someone saw the dread plastered on her face.

Everyone was seated in the family room, except for Brian. He had gone to retrieve a bottle of whisky from the cellar to replenish the drinks' cabinet as they all waited apprehensively...save for Geillis. She had a knowing smile on her face, having a fair idea of what is about to transpire. Claire avoided sitting next to Jamie and sat next to Willie instead. She knew the rest of the family would find it odd as she and Jamie had always sat together whenever possible when they were growing up, Ellen often mentioning that they were attached at the hip. Their usual seat was occupied by Ian and Jenny, a single armchair that they would have normally squeezed into.

"Right...so everyone has a glass?" Brian walked in with the whisky, and everyone perked up, eager for the family talk to get started.

Oh, God, here goes nothing.   Claire had prepared her speech and had been going through it in her head for the last fifteen minutes. She watched as Brian poured whisky in each glass, and when it came to her, she whispered, "Make it a treble, da." She was beyond caring. She needed the drink badly.

Without saying anything, Brian cocked an eyebrow at Claire as he poured her desired measure. Once the whisky was served, he settled down next to Ellen. "Alright, what's the meeting all about then, Jamie?" Brian addressed, asserting his position as the head of the family.

Before Jamie, could reply and before her bravado could leave her, Claire jumped onto her feet, surprising Willie and almost spilling his drink. "I'll go first," she announced in a cracked voice, as she walked into the middle of the room, facing the semi-circle formation of the occupied seats. She swigged her whisky and took one big swallow before continuing. "I have something to say too."

Nobody said a word except for a few "Ohs.". They weren't expecting her to commence the assemblage, but they all looked at her with surprised curiosity. Claire was about to speak further when it occurred to her, the speech she had prepared mentally, had gone flying out the window.  Oh fuck!  She slammed her eyes shut, trying to find the words.  Wing it, Beauchamp, for fuck sake, just wing it!  She looked at her audiences' eager faces, urging her to say something and decided to concentrate on one face. Jenny's! Her expression was always deadpan and the least distracting. 

Inhaling deeply, she let the words flow out. "I'm in love, " Claire blurted, regretting the outburst half a second later. 

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! Did I just say that! Too late Beauchamp...keep winging it!  It wasn't supposed to come out that way. Claire continued to grope in the dark for the speech she prepared, but the carefully memorised words remained elusive. She glanced quickly at Jamie. He was shaking his head with his eyes closed, a hand holding his forehead. He knew too that wasn't how it was supposed to come out.  Too late!

There was a hushed silence, as she refocused her attention on Jenny, whose face was slowly breaking into a smile and her head bobbing for Claire to continue while squeezing Ian's hand.

"Oh, that's lovely dear, " Ellen gushed, and in her periphery, Claire saw her foster mother lay both hands on her chest awaiting what her next words would be.

"Who's the lad?" Brian asked, seemingly unaffected by the announcement.

"Is it Frank?" Willie chimed in, a disappointment already forming his face.

Geillis didn't say a word. There was an irritating smug look on her face, and Claire knew, her friend was entertained by the whole scenario.

"I'm in love with one of my siblings."  Damn, damn, damn, it still came out wrong. Oh, fuck, never mind!  Indeed never mind...there it was now, out in the open. Claire let out a breath she'd been holding and waited. She saw Jenny's eyes widened, and Ian straightened up from his slumped position, while everyone remained hushed. She realised her gaze was still unwaveringly focused on Jenny.

It was Jenny who spoke first, her words coming out slow and careful. "Claire lass, ye're in love with me?"

Ellen gasped, and Jaime groaned.

Claire felt mortified at the misunderstanding. "Oh no, not you, Jenny! I do love you but no...oh God, not that way. Jesus! This is all coming out wrong, isn't it?"  Oh fuck!

"Claire, sweetheart which one of the lads?" Brian asked his voice steady and firm, seemingly the only one who understood the drift of what she was trying to say and understanding her discomfort.

Momentarily closing her eyes, she pointed a finger towards Jamie's direction, just like a child after being asked by a teacher who the culprit was.  Christ why couldn't I have just said his name...I'm such an idiot!  There was a long deafening silence, that seemed to go on forever. She hoped when she opened her eyes, they would all have disappeared. Unfortunately for her, when she did, they were all still there, their faces a picture of  awe?  That can't be, right? Not Willie's tone though.

"Jamie, what have ye done?" It was Willie, sounding displeased as if he had caught his younger brother doing something forbidden.

"What do you mean, what have I done?" Jamie retorted, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Claire spun around to look at Willie, his face was full of accusation. Then it dawned on her what her older foster brother must have been thinking. It was blowing all across his features like a red flag. "For fuck sake, Willie...lay off Jamie, will you! He's done nothing wrong. If you must know, I've never been with a man...I'm a virgin!"  Oh sweet mother of God, too much information....why can't I fucking shut my mouth up.

"Ye are?" Jenny and Willie asked simultaneously, their eyes genuinely wide as saucers in disbelief.

In the background, she could hear Geillis trying to smother a giggle.  Damn her! She started all this with her French kiss lessons!

Claire didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but she could feel hysteria rising up from the pit of her guts. If she hadn't been in the middle of this shamble, she would have found the situation amusing. Unfortunately, she had created this for herself, and she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

Before Claire could respond and say anything more, Jenny got up from her seat and squealed, hugging her tight. "Oh Claire, I've had my suspicions over the years, but I wasn't too sure. Ah ye wee dafty, is that why ye been acting funny these days?" And then she turned to Jamie. "Weel, lad...I suppose ye ken about this?"

It wasn't the reaction Claire was expecting. She looked at each of their faces staring at her. There was no look of disapproval nor reproach. Surprise yes and a hint of a smile from ma and da, while Willie's expression remained indiscernible as he looked on impassively.

Jamie nodded with a grin, winking at Claire. She could see the tension, had eased from his shoulders. "I have been in love with Claire for years, but I only told her yesterday," he confessed, the tips of his ears turning pink as everyone's attention turned to him.

"And I'm only hearing this now?" Willie asked his brother in a clipped voice, a frown marring his brow.

Claire glanced over at Willie to find him, what seemed like to her, scowling at Jamie. She thought this behaviour was odd as Willie was the most mild-mannered and least temperamental out of the three siblings.

"Ye were tae busy adulting, Willie...ye wanted nought to do with us children, in case ye've forgotten," Jamie pointed out, his lips twitching.

It was apparent to Claire that Jamie caught that funny tone on Willie's voice. Jamie had only told the truth as there was five years age gap between the brothers and growing up, Jamie was closer to Claire than he was with Willie and Jenny.

Her attention riveted to Ellen, as she stood up from her seat. Claire's heart skipping a beat, she waited with bated breath for what Ellen had to say. "Och, darling, my baby girl...come here." Claire blinked, as she was pulled into her arms, one hand stroking the back of her head. "Sweet, sweet, girl is in love with my boy."

Claire stifled a sob, as a wave of relief washed over her. Oh, how she had wanted their approval so much and now that she had it, she couldn't be any happier. She knew Jamie must feel the same way too. But the discussion was far from over as there was the case with Annalise to be told. She looked at Brian over Ellen's shoulder, who simply nodded and raised his tumbler of whisky as if to say, he was happy for them too. 

"Oh, God, ma...I thought you'd be mad."

"Mad?" Ellen appeared surprised. "Why should I be mad, darling? Love is something that comes to us all when we least expect it." Then Ellen leaned closer to her ears. "I'm just glad it was with ye Jamie has fallen in love with." 

She could hardly believe what Ellen was saying, as she stood there stupidly trying to take in all their reactions.

Claire was brought back from her thoughts when Brian brought their attention to him with a knuckle rap on the coffee table. "So, are we all done and sorted? Can I go now and watch the footie?" Everyone laughed. Brian didn't seem too bothered about Jamie and Claire's news, but he looked happy enough to ease Claire's worries.

"Er...da, we're not done yet. There's something else..." Jamie added quickly before everyone dispersed from the room.

"Aye, weel, get on with it, lad. I don't have all evening, ye ken."

The family remained seated as Jamie took Claire's place on the floor, explaining the situation with his ex-girlfriend. Although they felt sorry for Annalise's plight and didn't doubt Jamie's words when he said he doesn't think the baby she was carrying was his, the sad story was overshadowed by Claire's earlier confession. None of them had ever met Annalise; hence the lack of emotional connection. It was only Ellen who voiced her approval of what Jamie planned to do...the right thing.  Just in case...just in case the child Annalise is carrying is Jamie's and would be left orphaned if Annalise did die.

Claire looked around to ask Willie what he thought, but instead, she found an empty seat that he occupied earlier. She felt a tinge of sadness in her heart, as she wanted him badly to approve of her relationship with Jamie. 

...........

Later alone in her room, Claire let out a massive sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as her thoughts wandered back to reality. Jamie will be leaving for France in five days, to see another woman. His ex-girlfriend, no less. Oh God, for once, she wanted to be selfish, and she didn't want him to go. She looked at her reflection on the dressing table's mirror. Jesus, no wonder everyone... well almost everyone, can read her like an open book. Her expression was the epitome of conflicted.  No, stop it, Beauchamp, get a grip! He will be back before you know it.   She knew she will be busy enough once the hotel re-opens and hours will be rigorous to keep her mind preoccupied.

The door opened slowly, and Jamie let himself in. Claire had been expecting him after he gave her a nod earlier before she ran up the stairs. Their knack for understanding each other's unspoken communication had become finely honed over the years. 

Standing before her, Jamie's sheer size made her room suddenly seemed so small. He had always been a tall lad for his age while growing up, but over time, he had filled out too nicely. Having taken off his sweatshirt earlier, his grey top hugged tightly across the expanse of his muscular chest and taut washboard abs. Awareness crept over her, lifting goosebumps down the length of her arms, making her thighs feel like gelatin. Her breath hitched when he lifted her up from her dressing table seat and took her place, settling her on his lap with her legs, straddling his thighs. Her wrists locked automatically behind his neck.

He pressed his forehead against hers, a beautiful smile forming his lips. "How are ye, Sassenach? It wasna too bad earlier, was it?" he murmured, adjusting his hold to bring her closer against his chest.

She laughed if somewhat a wee bit shakily, his warm breath on her face doing wonders to her insides. "Not too bad? I thought you were dying a little out there, every time I opened my mouth to speak."

"Mmm, speaking of mouth, I thought the evening would never end. All I could think of is kissing you," came Jamie's low voice from her thick curls hanging around his shoulders. Claire could feel a finger tugging at a lone tendril. "This house has far too many people. How about we go to my house for a bit of privacy?"

Claire knew precisely what Jamie meant. In Frasers' household, nobody ever knocks on the door...they simply walked in. Although their secret wasn't secret anymore, she didn't want anyone walking on them while kissing. "Privacy to do what?" she teased, smiling against his lips as he brushed his mouth tantalisingly across hers.

"We can stay the night there. I have a mattress I use when working late in the house. We can carry it next to the fireplace, and we'll bring extra blankets and duvets." Mistaking her shudder for apprehension, he pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. "We're just going to cuddle, Sassenach and maybe talk a little. I want to spend a lot of time with ye before I go to France if that's alright?" His hands caressed her back and arms, his eyes, dark and intense, betraying how aware he was of her as she was of him.

"Of course Jamie, I would like that." She hardly heard her own voice when she replied as she felt a stirring coming to life inside of her. Yearning for something she couldn't verbalise, there was an unexpected awareness of emptiness in places she never knew, that she understood with sudden clarity, only Jamie could fill. "I'll just grab a few things. But before we go, I need to have a word with Willie," she croaked, her mouth suddenly feeling parched.

"Aye, do that, and I'll grab a few blankets and other things." He stood up, lifting Claire away from him, the gravelly tone of his voice revealing his effort of exercising control. "Don't take too long!" 

..........

Claire looked everywhere for Willie and finally found him sat outside on the doorstep, cradling an empty glass.

"Hey! There you are"

Willie looked up at her, scooting to the side so she can sit down. "Hey to ye too," he replied with a weak smile, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Want a top-up?" Claire showed a bottle of whisky she brought with her and took out her own glass from her jacket pocket. "It's cold out here, and I thought this should warm you up."

"Aye, thank ye." He watched as she poured the whisky. "Ye've developed quite a taste for excellent single malt over the years haven't ye?"

She laughed, raising the glass to him. "Does that mean, I'm officially a Scot?"

"Not quite. Ye still have that bloody posh English accent. I dinna ken how ye managed to hang on to it after all these years living here." When Claire didn't reply, he purposely bumped his shoulder against hers. "But ye ken, it doesnae matter if ye still carry the name Beauchamp...to me ye'll always be a Fraser."

Claire smiled, grateful that the frown on his face was gone. "Willie... I want to know if...if you disapprove of Jamie and me." She paused, taking a sip of her amber liquid. "You didn't look too happy in there earlier. And it's important to me that you don't hate me for it."

He laughed without humour as he took a sip of his own drink. "Ach, don't mind me, Claire. You know fine that I don't hate ye. I was probably just shocked. I dinna expect..." Willie swallowed hard. "I dinna expect ye and Jamie. I always thought ye were just a couple of kids beings kids. Don't worry about it."

"That's good. I'm glad..." Claire whispered. "Actually, I expected the shock reaction more from Jenny and ma and da...but, not from you."

Willie cocked an eyebrow, looking at her this time. "Aye? Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe it's because you rarely told me off or disapproved any of my life decisions. And I've done a lot of crazy things in my travels that you knew about and ye were the only one that I managed not to shock. Remember when I did that bungee jump? Christ, I received a lot rollicking from everyone, especially ma and Jamie...but you...you thought it was bloody brave of me."

Willie laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter more sincere this time. "Aye, that was brave of ye. I've always admired yer passion for adventure. I like the fact that ye dae what ye love to dae..." He shook his head, smiling. "Are ye happy, Claire?"

"Yes...very happy but sad at the same time that Jamie will be leaving soon." Then remembering it was her idea to send Jamie to Annalise, she added with a slightly defensive tone, "But I know he'll be doing the right thing, right? What do you think?"

He sighed and opened his arms to give her a hug. Claire scooted nearer and laid her head on his shoulder, his arms going around her back. "I cannae answer that Claire, but If I was Jamie, I wouldn't even think of leaving ye," Willie whispered, his eyes faraway looking into the dark of the night.

"Sassenach, are ye ready?" Jamie asked softly as he stood in the doorway, looking down at them.

Willie and Claire hadn't heard Jamie approached nor the door opened. "Just give me a minute Jamie...I shan't be long," Claire replied, inclining her head towards him. Then she turned to Willie. "I'll see you tomorrow? Jamie is taking me to his house."

Willie nodded with a smile. "Aye, see ye tomorrow. And leave the whisky behind, please. I think I'll sit here for a while."

Claire handed the bottle to him. "Don't drink the whole bottle, alright? Leave some for tomorrow. And here..." Claire took the scarf from her neck and gave it to him. "Sit on this or else the steps will freeze your arse off."

Willie laughed, taking the bottle and her scarf off her hand. "Thanks...now go...Jamie is waiting."

She gave Willie a quick peck on the cheek before clambering up the stairs, her legs twinging with pins and needles. Glancing back at Willie, she noticed he had wrapped her scarf around his shoulders instead of laying it on the steps to sit on. She sighed as she hoped and prayed, in her heart of hearts, that sombre smile he had just given her wasn't any indication that he was displeased with his brother.

[wee-guy]

                                 Why did you climb the mountain?

A rant sketch inspired by @insertdisc5​ post that I just reblogged. I haven’t been feeling great tonight and it’s always sat with me that these children climbed a big ass mountain without adult supervision. Especially Frisk. 

Below the cut is some headcannons for a kinda mental health AU? Idk, it was therapeutic to write.

It makes me think of a sort of AU were MC/reader purposefully goes to the mountain because of the rumours and obviously isn’t successful but meets a bunch of monsters who know why they came to the mountain and want to help.

Classic Sans: knows what it’s like to feel hopeless, to not want to get out of bed, how some things become so difficult to achieve. Knows what it’s like to have to hide how you feel, be happy and funny to make sure others don’t worry. If you need to do the thing, he will do the thing with you being “helpful” with his puns. He’s always there with soft encouragement and always praises the small things. Will probably make you those star stickers, “you got out of bed!” “you brushed your teeth!” “you managed social interaction!” “you didn’t cry today!”. Is interested in what you want to do in education and/or work. Will help you plan and work towards whatever that is. He knows some folk. 

Classic Papyrus: obviously is your personal cheer squad. Knows just how to motivate you but if it isn’t working and it’s a bad day knows when to calm down and let you take things at your own pace. Tell him your deepest desires, your biggest dreams, no matter how unattainable or silly it seems. You want to be an astronaut? You need to be physically healthy, go to school to get good grades and do training to achieve that? Pffft, that’s only three things, you can totally do that! Teaches you how to hold onto a dream and keep back the bad thoughts that say you can’t do it. You’ll show them! Will cook and bake with you while making some idle chatter. Afterwards will sit with you and watch MTT or something you’re currently interested in cuddled under a blanket.

Fell Sans (Red): the worst kept secret is that he is a softie. Will chill out with you and give you as much physical touch as you’re comfortable with. Little thumb strokes, hair strokes, hip bumps, squeezes and full on “you are now my personal squish, now chill out and watch the tv show”. Is your protector, there behind you to make sure no one walks over you or just there as silent encouragement when you need to do scary adult things. Knows what it’s like to have manic lows were the sadness is energetic and wants out. Knows how hard it is to stay strong when you need to be supported. Is there for you when this happens, even if he just silently holds you.

Fell Papyrus (Edge): you are the only one he is soft and gentle to. You know what that means? You are worthy of the terrible Papyrus! These other humans are merely jealous of your brilliance! Actual fashion icon who encourages you to express yourself however you want. Cut or dye your hair? Edge is there critiquing cuts and colours and of course approving of your choices. Your style is very much worthy of the terrible Papyrus’s approval. Humans are staring? Yes, how could they not? You look amazing! And the commoners are weak to resisting such style! Will absolutely call you by your preferred pronouns or name without question, although all skeles will do so too. Teaches you to be comfortable with yourself and that you are worth your own existence. 

Swap Sans (Blue): Another very energetic cheer squad! Preaches the importance of routine and activities. Won’t push you with exercise if you aren’t into that, gentle jogs or walks or swimming, anything calming and enjoyable. After all, what’s the point if you don’t enjoy it! Will help you figure out what the best times are you to do things, are you an early bird or a night owl? When do you get hungry? Do you have medication? When do you need to take them? He makes a very cool schedule with reminders on your phone so you don’t forget. Is very interested in your hyperfixations and is eager to learn all about it! Info dump your little heart out! Blue won’t judge and is 9/10 more likely to want to become involved too! He secretly knows what it’s like to not be respected for being yourself, whether that be for the things you love or how you look. He’s very well aware of what other monsters see him as. But! He will show you how the magnificent Sans achieves what he wants, does what he wants all the while being true to himself!

Swap Papyrus (Stretch): Another chill boy. He’s always there for you if you need to chill, talk or be distracted. No, literally. He always seems to be close to you wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, without actually moving at all...Is not at all a therapist but will listen to you when you need to talk or vent or explain something you love or have just learned. Will go with you to any doctors appointments or therapy sessions and be there for you, slouched down in his chair. Pull up a beanbag, pal, tell him all about it. Very good at distracting you with music or games or some sweet treats. A rock of a skeleton boy. Knows what it’s like to be so overwhelmed by your feelings being trapped inside you that you loose interest in things and become numb. Will show you coping mechanisms he learned himself and will always never let you forget that he is always there for you.

SwapFell Sans (Blackberry): This is a very smart boy. He clawed his way up to royal guard status without the usual violence, he doesn’t need to. Is an expert and obsessed with cheating the system and getting clever sneaky payback. Any trouble and he has it sorted, he’s both better and worse than a Karen. Will talk to a manager, teacher, professional and come out the victor. That person who bullied you? Strangely bolts whenever you are in their proximity ... Teaches you what you can do to help yourself in certain situations and how to come across confident in yourself even when you’re not. Somehow knows everything about everyone and is always doing things like reminding you that your medication is running low, you need to book another doctors appointment, even tells you that that thing you were eyeing up is much cheaper elsewhere and he’s already ordered it for you so don’t worry about it. His literal moto is “you don’t need to worry about it anymore, I’ll handle it.” But he knows when to slow down and teach you how to do things yourself. He is also a master at pet names. Darling? Sweetheart? Love? Baby? He’ll find out what you prefer and use it to his advantage, and you’ll love it. Knows how things can build and build and how sometimes the littlest thing can be the domino effect that makes everything crash. Shows you how to prioritise and take it one task at a time. 

Swapfell Papyrus (Russ): Just...a sweet boy. A little nasty, but sweet. Why do you sometimes have the urge to protect him and then suddenly feel submissive to his protection? Is a firm believer in therapy through action. You like art? He’s found this little group where you just be calm and do art and maybe talk about your feeling, lets both go. Is music your thing? Here, if you’re sad how about you press all the low keys at once? BOOOOOAAAAAMMMMM. Writing? Writing how you feel is very important to both understand yourself and how you’re feeling, to be able to reflect and point out things that triggered you and also be able to show a professional symptoms and explain how you feel without having to strain to remember. But you can also write for the pure enjoyment of words and the movement of your pen or the rhythmic click of your keyboard. Will help you with prompts and inspirations. Will never judge you for using a fandom or interest to help you get through this. Will definitely show you some of his own stuff. Knows how lonely you can feel even when surrounded by people, even when it doesn’t make sense to feel lonely or sad. Teaches you that it’s ok to feel these emotions but shows you when you need to stop in order not to become consumed by it. 

Horror Sans (Mars...?): Is deeply knowledgeable about trauma. He had a long road recovering from his. His trauma might make you feel stupid for your feelings but he will shut that down immediately. His broken leg doesn’t make your broken arm any less painful. Will be able to understand how you feel about your trauma and how that has affected you. He’s very careful to put down boundaries so neither of you trigger the other. He’s your mental health buddy, someone close who’s going through the same thing that you can talk to and know that you are fully understood. You can ask questions to help understand yourself and your own journey. Will show you how to focus and enjoy small things. Believes that people are either water people or earth people. Does the sound and sight of water make you calm? Just the rhythmic movement and sound drift you away while you both pick up cool looking rocks and smooth sea glass and sometimes even a shell! Or do you like big grassy parks or forests you can walk to your hearts content and just breathe? You both pick up some cool leaves to press between a book, take some pictures of plants and trees and sunsets. Whenever you need a break, whether you realise or not, he will whisk you away to just bask in silence for a while. A big cuddler, he has a blanket nest, hop on in and have a nap. 

Horror Papyrus (Sweetie): Knows deeply how hard it is to adapt sometimes, and how your adapting to situations can hurt you later. Knows what it’s like to be judged by how you look, especially if there are things you need to hide. Helps you with Edge’s quest, especially with clothes. He’s very good at finding unique objects that no one else has. Often comes back from thrift and charity shops with a few things he think’s you’ll like. Will cuddle up with you and listen to how you feel about yourself and the way you look. Helps you come to terms with yourself, accept yourself. Always has a compliment for you, building it up from small things so you can learn to believe and accept them. Knows ways to help you if you sometimes dissociate and especially if it’s triggered by photos or mirrors. If you need to go to the dentist or the doctor for operations or procedures, he’s right there with you holding your hand. He himself has some very cool braces for his teeth, some funky glasses and some support of his posture. Loves to teach you how to solve puzzles and will sit behind you and point out words he finds in the word searches. A very good bonding buddy. Also, he always has snacks, he is a snack mom. Sometimes he even slips food and water into your bag and pockets. 

[kazkazoozoo]

No Promises Ch1

Pairing: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker

(warning: this story contains angst and extramarital affairs.)

Inspired by Izmeny (TV Mini-Series 2015)

Read on AO3

It’s almost two in the morning when Peter starts to swing back to his apartment after a long tedious night patrol. He helped an old lady to find her way home, saved two civilians from their muggers and stopped a gang of three heavily armed jewelry store robbers. He got a few scratches and maybe a bruise, all of which will be completely healed by the time the sun rises, so he’s mostly unharmed.

Physically, that is.

This week has been nothing short of a mentally stressful disaster. His job at The Bugle sucked, as always, and Jameson has been extra shitty to him these days for some reason, threatening to fire him if he doesn’t come back with some ‘more scandalous’ pictures of Spider-Man.

It’s making him incredibly paranoid. Sometimes he feels like Jameson knows. About his life. About MJ.

And MJ. He hasn't heard from her for an entire week. It’s not the first time this has happened, so he’s not surprised nor alarmed.

But it doesn’t mean he has ever stopped thinking about her or wanting her. No matter how tired he feels right now, he can swear that he’ll be re-energized in an instant if she were waiting for him in his bed when he returns to the studio apartment he lives in by himself.

But he knows very well of her rule. That she doesn’t stay anywhere other than her own house for the night.

So he doesn’t dream about some miracle that will most likely never happen.

He slips through the window that he left unlocked into his kitchen, closes the window and shuts the blinds before turning on the light, only to be startled by a lithe figure lying languidly on his couch and gazing up to him.

MJ snickers mischievously when he trips over the ottoman.

“Geez…you scared the shit out of me. Why didn’t you turn on the lights?” He takes off the mask and combs his hair with his fingers.

“Photophobia. Migraine can be a real bitch, you know?” She was writhing around lazily, covering her eyes with one forearm.

He immediately switches off the light and hurries to squat down at her side.

“You okay? Do you need painkillers? Or should I give you a massage?” He whispers in a low-pitched voice.

She smiles contently.

“It’s already better once I got here. My house is the most relaxing place in the world and that’s why I’m here.” She coos.

He sighs. He has always known that she loves to screw with him, but he’s not sure how much longer he can take this.

“You mean the house you designed.”

He tries to stand up but she stops him by clutching his wrist. She pulls him down to kiss her, and he complies.

He simply doesn’t know how to resist her.

“What’s the difference? I crafted this place.” she breathes heavily during the short breaks between their deep kisses, “And I own the owner of this place.”

He’s hovering above her on the couch, already half-hard in his boxer under his skin-tight suit. His body wants to give in to the temptation and just enjoy another guaranteed great sex with her, but his mind, both rationally and emotionally, wants to get to the bottom of why she’s here tonight.

“Where’s Harry? Is he not at home tonight?” He can’t stop himself from blurting out.

She freezes and fixes him a venomous glare.

“How should I know?”

“He’s your husband.”

Peter never stops feeling guilty about the affair. But he has only been falling deeper and deeper for her ever since the night they met during one of his patrols.

The heartbreaking look in her red teary eyes, her messy long hair and her clothes that were drenched by the pouring rain clinging to her face and body, her shoulders heaving with her sobs…

He will never be able to shake that mental image off his mind.

MJ scoffs, pulling Peter out of his train of thoughts.

“Tell me about it.” She mutters.

She pushes Peter off and sits up herself. They are still sitting fairly close to each other on the couch, but the tension in the air between them is almost tangible.

The longer the silence stretches on, the clearer he can see she’s vibrating with anxiety.

Something’s not right.

“What’s wrong?” He tentatively touches her hand. She doesn’t refuse him, so he squeezes both her hands.

“Will you marry me?”

He nearly falls off the couch.

“What? Are you drunk?” He leans forward, trying to smell the alcohol.

“Will you marry me, if Harry’s not around anymore?”

She stares into his soul, and her eyes are pleading.

Peter’s confused. She has never shown any sign that she wants to leave Harry before. Something must have happened.

“Did something happen to him? Is that why you’re here?” He frowns.

Her face goes blank.

“I killed him.”

He watches her, mouth agape and completely stunned. Then an inexplicable fear rises inside him.

He’s not sure what he’s afraid of. That there’s a possibility she’ll be prosecuted, or hearing her confessing a crime still doesn’t change how he sees her, and therefore he’s starting to questioning his sense of morality and ethical framework in superheroing?

His brain’s barely functioning at this point, but he finds himself hugging her tightly to him and rubbing her back on autopilot.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” he chants softly, “I’ll take care of you, it’s okay…”

“You’ll take care of me even if I did that?” Her voice is wobbly.

“Especially if you did that.” He reassures.

She lets him continue to console her for another five minutes until she speaks up again.

“I didn’t kill him.”

He stops moving his hands, then pulls away to look at her face.

“Then why did you say that?”

“Wanted to know to what extent that you're willing to forgive me.” she smiles wearily, “If killing is okay, does that mean you’ll forgive me for anything else?”

Peter’s head is spinning. She‘s going to be the death of him.

“I don’t know about anything else, but lying about that just to test me…you’re driving me crazy.” He presses on his closed eyes with his fingers, forcing back the tears.

For the past five minutes, he’s been thinking about what to do next. The reason why he never tried to persuade her to leave her husband is that he’s Spider-Man. She’ll be safe staying with Harry, even if she’s not content with their crappy marriage.

But if Harry’s gone, he has to be the one protecting her.

He was thinking about giving up the superhero gig for her, but she was just testing him.

“You passed the test.” She kisses his cheek.

It was just a fleeting dream. A dream in which no one else other than the two of them exists.

But she hasn’t given up on her marriage during the hardest time, so she surely isn’t going to now.

She won’t choose him because she knows he can’t choose her.

“Maybe we should just stop this…” Peter feels his heart sinking.

“Shh. No more talking.”

She pulls him in, kissing him fervently. She pushes the spider emblem on his chest and the suit slackens. Her hands begin to explore every inch of his body, her touch is greedy and fiery…

He gives in to her, like he always does, eventually.

MJ wants something that’s concrete, like the physical contact she’s getting from Peter. She can feel his desire towards her, and it makes her feel warm, secure, content…

What she doesn’t need nor want, are the empty words of promises. She will not allow herself to be fooled by those unreliable fantasies.

Never again.

[beanfic]

Pumpkin Palooza

Kae & Sav’s Spooky Special | Masterlist

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5610

Authors’ Note: Hey frens! Here is the first chapter of our three-part miniseries!! Our beloved spooky special :) Hope you enjoy!!! (picture credit)

Tyler’s POV

The sounds of whatever song was playing on the radio carried softly into the bathroom as I stood brushing my teeth. I bopped my head slowly from side to side, barely matching the rhythm of the drums. Sunlight filtered in through the window on the far side of the room, illuminating half of my body. A few shadows danced across my face as I stared at myself in the mirror, scrutinizing my appearance.

The song came to an end, which I took as my cue to spit out my toothpaste and rinse my mouth. In my bedroom, I could just make out the sound of my phone vibrating on the bedside table. I dropped my toothbrush into its holder and leaned closer to the mirror, using one hand to run over my scruff. It was getting long, but not long enough for me to consider taking the time to shave it down. After taking a couple moments to run my hands through my damp hair and fix it to my liking, I headed into my bedroom to see what I had missed.

My phone was lit up with a couple messages from the group chat that I had with Josh and Y/N. I read over them as I walked out to the kitchen to make myself some cereal.

Y/N: good morning, my dudes

Josh: good morning :) you’re up early today

Y/N: casper woke me up early this morning because he wanted to go on a walk. trust me, i wish i was still sleeping :p but at least i have you two to talk to all morning :)

I sighed. Three messages in and the two of them were already starting the flirting for the day. It was something that I had quickly grown used to. I had never really been bothered by their near constant back and forth, although I was bothered by neither of them being bold enough to just admit their feelings for the other. Even if I tried to step in and hint at their mutual feelings, they both brushed it off as me playing around.

That’s why I had come up with my master plan.

Tyler: good morning

After sending my message, I set my phone down on the counter while I made myself a quick bowl of cereal. My hands had been off my phone for a grand total of five seconds before it buzzed again. I looked over at it while I poured my cereal.

Y/N: ty! how’s it going? now that you’re both up, are plans still on for today? it’s day one of our spooky extravaganza!

Josh: i’m down if you two are

I put the cereal away before sending my response.

Tyler: i’m in. i’ll pick you up around noon? 

Y/N: are you picking up josh first? :(

Tyler: it makes the most sense, so yes

Y/N: just once i want to be the one who gets picked up first

Josh: maybe you would get picked up first if you didn’t live on the opposite side of town

Y/N: it’s not my fault!

I shook my head as I grabbed a spoon. I had watched this same exact argument unfold hundreds of times before, and it always ended the same way.

Josh: hmm i think it is. there are plenty of houses for sale

Y/N: you think i can afford them? not all of us have money from all our successful albums and tours, joshua

Josh: you were the one who said you wanted to get picked up first!

Tyler: alright, you two, i’ll see you at noon

I set my phone down on the coffee table without waiting for a response and sank into the couch. The remote was already sitting on the cushions, making it easy for me to grab and switch on the TV. My phone vibrating against the coffee table soon become nothing more than background noise.

*     *     *

Josh dug his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatshirt as he walked down the path towards my car. He smiled as he opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, immediately moving his hands in front of my air vents.

“My heater isn’t working properly,” he explained, skipping over a hello. “I’ve been in sweatshirts and sweatpants since last night.”

“Do you have someone coming to fix it?” I asked as I pulled out of the driveway.

“Yeah, there’s some people stopping by to take a look today. I’m hoping they can get it fixed by tonight.”

“If not, you can always come crash at my place. I wouldn’t want you freezing to death.”

“Thanks.”

After a few more minutes of warming up his hands, Josh leaned back in his seat and dropped his hands to his lap. He yawned loudly as he did so.

“Yikes, sorry.”

“Tired?” I laughed.

“Yeah. I was up late talking to Y/N last night.”

“How late?”

“Like, I’m not sure, three in the morning, maybe?”

“Oh geez. Are they ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. They’re fine.”

“Why so late, then?”

“I just really like talking to them. I don’t know what it is.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Stop.”

I turned and shot Josh a look. His cheeks were dusted pink, but he had been in the car long enough that I knew it wasn’t from the cold outside. 

“Come on, man. You’ve already told me how you feel about Y/N, there’s no need to hide it now.”

“It’s not that.” He shook his head. “I’m just… I don’t think it’s going to happen. I can’t keep letting myself get my hopes up like this.”

“Josh, you and I both know there’s something there.”

“Is there?”

“Yes.”

And I was going to make sure that both of them finally realized that.

*     *     *

Your POV

“It’s colder than I thought it was going to be,” you said as you stepped out of the car. The makeshift parking lot was jam packed with cars and families making their way towards the farm. You pulled your sleeves down a little further over your hands.

“This is what my house felt like last night,” Josh said, pulling his beanie a little lower on his head. “It was awful.”

“I told you that you could have come over! But somebody didn’t want to make the drive.”

You just barely noticed the way Tyler turned to Josh with raised eyebrows out of the corner of your eye. A brief desire to ask what that look was all about crossed your mind, but you decided against feeding into it. It was probably better that you didn’t ask.

“It was like one in the morning and you were already in bed! I didn’t want to make you get up.”

“Hey, I am not going to listen to the two of you bickering all day. Let’s go,” Tyler said, tilting his head towards the entrance of the farm.

“Can we get something to drink?” you asked, falling into step with the boys. “It might be nice to have a warm drink to carry around so our fingers don’t freeze.”

“Yes!” Tyler grinned at you. “Let’s get donuts too.”

“Good thinking.”

You held a hand out to Tyler who happily engaged in the high five. Josh smiled at the two of you and shook his head.

“Hey, did I already say you look nice today, Y/N?” Josh added.

You looked down at the jeans and flannel combo you had opted for today. It hadn’t looked particularly special when you were studying yourself in the mirror, but you couldn’t deny the butterflies in your stomach at Josh’s compliment.

“Thanks, Josh,” you smiled. “You look nice too.”

A gust of wind hit right as you finished speaking, prickling at your cheeks. Josh’s face immediately flushed a dusty shade of pink, and you were unable to tell if the color was from your compliment or the cool air. Biting back a sigh, you turned away from Josh and continued to follow Tyler through the crowd towards the building that housed donuts and hot cider.

“Ok, what are we thinking?” Tyler asked. You didn’t immediately register his question at first, you were too busy enjoying the relief from the crisp autumn air outside.

“Powdered sugar,” Josh answered immediately.

You turned to him with furrowed eyebrows, “You would rather have powdered sugar than pumpkin donuts?”

“Just one or two,” he shrugged. “I like powdered donuts.”

“What are you thinking, Ty?”

“I definitely want a pumpkin donut. Or maybe a cinnamon one? I can’t decide.”

“Oh wait, they have a variety bag,” Josh chimed in, stepping closer to you. He rested one hand on your lower back as he used the other to point at the menu. “See it? Three powdered donuts, three pumpkin donuts, and three cinnamon donuts.”

“Would you be willing to trade your pumpkin donut for my powdered sugar one?” you asked.

Josh looked at you, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. “I think I could be convinced.”

“Then I think that sounds good. Ty, you in?”

He nodded, “I’m in.”

You made casual conversation with the boys as you stood in line. Josh continued to stand close to you, not that you were complaining. His close proximity meant it was easier for you to take in his body heat, as well as the faint laundry detergent scent coming from his sweatshirt. The only part you weren’t enjoying so much was Tyler shooting you knowing looks every so often.

With donuts and warm drinks in hand, you found a nice stack of hay bales outside to sit on. They were tall enough that they blocked most of the wind, making the temperature much more bearable. You got comfy on one of them and immediately reached into the bag for your first donut.

“Cheers,” Tyler said, holding out his own donut.

You giggled as you tapped your own treat against his and Josh’s. Josh immediately took a large bite of his donut, covering most of his mouth in powdered sugar. You watched in amusement as he attempted to lick most of it off, but there were some spots he couldn’t quite reach.

“Need help, Josh?” you asked.

“What?”

“With the…” you trailed off, instead gesturing vaguely towards your own mouth.

“There’s more?”

“Just a little,” you laughed.

He sighed and tilted his chin out towards you, “Alright.”

You gently reached out and brushed the excess powdered sugar away with your thumb. Josh’s skin was smooth beneath your fingertips and it was hard to resist the urge to just run your fingers along his bottom lip. He had such nice lips.

“Did you get it all?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, snapping yourself out of your daydream. “Try to be a little more careful next time.”

“No promises.”

“What’s the plan after this?” Tyler asked, joining the conversation. “Pumpkins?”

“I think that makes sense. I’d rather not stay here too long since it’s freezing out,” you answered.

“Agreed,” Josh nodded.

“Are we still going to your apartment to carve pumpkins?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah. We can order some pizza and watch horror movies too.”

“Awesome.”

“Hey, do you think I could do a backflip off this hay bale?” Josh asked, completely redirecting the conversation.

You took a second to assess your surroundings, then nodded. “Totally.”

Josh wasted no time in stuffing the rest of his donut into his mouth and climbing up a couple hay bales. After taking a moment to make sure nobody was in his way, he flipped off the hay bale and landed gracefully on the dirt. You bit back a smile at his proud smirk as he adjusted his beanie.

“You think I could do a flip?” you asked.

“Y/N,” Tyler warned.

“Sure, but only if I’m there to spot you,” Josh said.

“Of course. There’s no way I’m flipping on my own.”

“Please be careful,” Tyler said.

“I will be.”

Josh held a hand out to you and helped you up onto the taller hay bale. Flipping seemed a lot scarier now that you were up here.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” you said.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you,” Josh smiled.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

You listened carefully as Josh told you exactly what to do, although you were struggling to listen while he had one of his hands pressed firmly into your back as he spoke. Once you felt like you knew what you were doing, you gave Josh the ok.

“On my count, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Three, two, one, jump!”

You leaned into Josh’s hand and kicked your legs up over your head. His other arm caught your legs and helped them get all the way over so that you landed firmly on the ground beneath you.

“Woah, wait, I did it,” you grinned, stumbling slightly into Josh after your landing.

“Yeah, you did.” One of his arms was still wrapped around you, holding you close to his side. You were pressed up against him, still reeling from the adrenaline rush of doing a backflip… well, kind of.

“Impressive,” Tyler garbled around the donut in his mouth.

“Hey! Was that my cinnamon donut?” you asked.

Tyler’s eyes went wide as he realized what he had done. You shook your head and unwrapped yourself from Josh to instead go sit next to Tyler again.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” he sighed, swallowing down the last bit.

“It’s ok, Ty, but you do owe me now.”

“I think that’s fair.”

You sat around a while longer until you and Josh finished the last of your donuts. Once they were gone and Tyler took the opportunity to show off his residual basketball skills by tossing the crumpled bag into a trash can, you headed off to the hay ride that would take you to the pumpkin patch.

“How do we do this?” Tyler asked, watching as the tractor slowly grew closer. “Do we hang on to the sides or something?”

“No,” you laughed. “You get inside and sit down on the hay.”

“More hay?” Josh sighed. “My allergies are going to start acting up.”

“You’ll be fine,” you said, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “It’ll be five minutes at most.”

“If you insist.”

“The most important rule is to not fall off, alright? Because that’s bad news for everyone involved.”

“Don’t fall off,” Tyler nodded. “I think I can manage that.”

The tractor pulled up in front of you and you quickly helped the boys up and onto a hay bale. Other families filled in the space around you. A couple teenagers were giving Tyler and Josh prolonged glances, but you hardly even noticed. You had known the boys long enough to tune things like that out now, although there were still many times where you ended up taking pictures for a fan or two.

“It smells like gas,” Tyler commented, wrinkling his nose up.

“You sure it’s not your hands?” you grinned, bumping him with your elbow.

“Oh, come on,” he laughed. “That was too easy.”

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t resist.”

Tyler shook his head. Next to you, Josh was furiously rubbing his hands - which were now a lot redder than the last time you had seen them - together. 

“Put your hands in your pocket!” you said, reaching out to push them closer to his body. “They’re going to freeze.”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he laughed, but still put them in his pocket nonetheless.

After a few more minutes, the tractor came to a stop at the edge of a field of pumpkins. There were parents all over the place, chasing their toddlers as they happily smacked pumpkins and tried to climb all over them. You were already on the lookout for a perfect pumpkin to fulfill your vision.

“Where should we start?” Tyler asked.

“I don’t know, I’m overwhelmed,” Josh answered.

“Do you guys have an idea of what kind of pumpkin you want?”

“I want a big one,” Josh said. “Like a really big one.”

“I’m just going to see what calls to me,” Tyler said. His hands were also dug deep into his pockets as he looked around. “I don’t really have anything particular in mind.”

“Ok, then let's start wandering around.”

You led the boys through the field, occasionally pausing to survey a pumpkin here or there. Josh took any opportunity he could get to show off his strength by picking up excessively large pumpkins for you to look at. None of them had caught your eye yet, however.

“Wait!” Tyler called out. You stopped walking and turned around, only to realize that he was nearly ten feet behind you.

“Did you find one?” Josh asked.

“I think so.”

You and Josh wandered back to where Tyler was bent over a pumpkin. It was a little oddly shaped with weird bumps here and there, but he seemed completely pleased with it. After taking a moment to brush some dirt off, he scooped the pumpkin into his arms.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s the perfect pumpkin for you, Ty,” you smiled.

“Agreed.”

Tyler lugged his pumpkin around while you and Josh continued to look at the pumpkins. You eventually found one that you liked: it was nice and round, had a smooth surface, and didn’t seem to be rotting anywhere that you could see. Plus, it wasn’t too heavy which meant you would have no problem getting it back to the car.

“Alright, Josh, it’s all up to you now.”

“Oh geez,” he smiled. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

“It looks like there’s a lot of big pumpkins over there,” Tyler added. “Should we start there?”

“Good idea.”

You and Tyler followed after Josh with your pumpkins in your arms. Tyler’s pace started to slow, and for a moment you thought he was going to stop completely. It wasn’t until Josh was out of earshot and he beckoned you closer that you realized that this was deliberate.

“What?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s going on between you and Josh today?”

Your shoulders dropped in annoyance, “We’re not really doing this, are we?”

“You two are flirting nonstop! Did something happen that you didn’t tell me about?”

“No, nothing happened. Josh is just being friendly.”

“So I suppose that you wiping powdered donut off his lips was just friendly too?”

“Yes!” you whisper-yelled. “I would have done the same thing if you had food all over your face.”

“I can guarantee you that there would not be that much love in your eyes if you were wiping food off of my face.”

“There was no love in my eyes, what in the world are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“There’s nothing going on. Josh and I are friends and that’s it, alright?”

“Yeah, alright,” he said sarcastically.

“Hey! What are you guys doing all the way over there?” Josh called.

“Sorry, we just needed a rest!” Tyler answered, playing it off like nothing was going on. “It’s hard carrying around pumpkins while you keep aimlessly wandering around.”

“I found a good pumpkin.”

Before you made your way over to Josh, Tyler made sure to get in one last comment.

“I think there’s more there than you’re choosing to see.”

*     *     *

Josh’s POV

I smiled as Tyler sang along to the Halloween music that Y/N had put on as background noise for our pumpkin carving escapades. They were sitting across from me, carefully cutting out the top of their pumpkin so that they could start scooping out all the insides to start carving. That’s what I was currently doing with one hand as I munched on a piece of pizza with the other. Across from me, Tyler, aside from singing, was carefully sketching out his design on the face of his pumpkin.

“Hey! Watch the wood floors,” Y/N warned as some of my pumpkin guts went flying and landed dangerously close to the edge of the trashbags we were sitting on. “And Casper. I don’t want him covered in pumpkin by the end of the night.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled around pizza, glancing at where Casper was curled up next to Y/N. “I’ll be more careful.”

“What design are you doing, Ty?”

“I’m trying to do a skeleton,” he said, holding his pumpkin out for a moment to get a better look at it. “But I’m struggling to get the design right.”

“That’s why you’re a musician and not an artist,” I joked.

“Hey! Who said music isn’t art?”

I held up my hands in defeat and the both of us erupted into laughter, resulting in me nearly dropping my pizza onto the ground. Y/N shot me a look, but they were smiling.

“What about you, Josh?”

“I’m doing an alien, which I’m sure is a shock,” I laughed.

“Oh yeah, I never could have seen that one coming.”

“We have to stay on brand,” Tyler chimed in.

“What design are you doing, Y/N?”

“I was thinking a ghost. You know, spice things up instead of just doing a normal face.”

“I like it,” I nodded.

I admired Y/N as they worked on their pumpkin. They were chewing gently on their bottom lip as they sketched out their ghost design on the front of the pumpkin. My own pumpkin was completely forgotten until Tyler kicked my leg, drawing me back into reality. He held up a pumpkin seed and pretended to throw it at Y/N. My mouth immediately curled into a grin as I grabbed a seed from inside my pumpkin. After taking a moment to line up my shot, I tossed it at Y/N and immediately went back to pretending to clean out my pumpkin.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Y/N looking between Tyler and I. It was taking all my energy to not let a smile completely overtake my face. Once they finally gave in and went back to working on their design, Tyler and I shared a look and nearly burst into laughter. Since they were distracted again, I grabbed another pumpkin seed and threw it at them. Unfortunately for me, they were ready this time and looked up before I had a chance to go back to looking innocent.

“Josh,” Y/N said, drawing out the vowel. “You’re not throwing pumpkin seeds at me, are you?”

“Of course not,” I said, but the smile that I was trying to hide was completely evident on my face.

“Liar!” they laughed, grabbing their own handful of pumpkin seeds and starting to toss them at me. I quickly reached into the bag of discarded pumpkin insides and started to throw them back at Y/N. A couple of them missed and skidded along the hardwood floors and under the couch. “You’re going to have to help me clean those up!”

“You started this!” I said as I threw another seed at them.

“Did not!”

We continued to throw pumpkin seeds all over the place until I finally ran out. Casper was running around, attempting to catch the pumpkin seeds in his mouth. More than once, he nearly crashed into Y/N, throwing them off their rhythm. Tyler mostly ignored the entire thing and continued to work on his own pumpkin, enjoying the peace of not having small objects hitting him in the face every few seconds, despite the fact that this war had been his idea in the first place.

“Are you two done?” he asked once the seeds finally stopped flying.

“For now,” Y/N said, shooting me a look.

“I’ll call a truce if you do.”

“Deal.”

I held out a gross pumpkin-goop covered hand. Y/N studied my hand for a moment before giving in and shaking it anyway.

“Good. Now no more pumpkin projectiles,” Tyler laughed.

“Pumpkin projectiles,” I repeated with a snort.

Things went back to being peaceful for awhile. The three of us were working away on our pumpkins and talking about potential snacks Tyler could make for the party that he was hosting tomorrow. My pumpkin design was going well, or at least, well enough that you could tell it was an alien. As for my artistic ability, that was an entirely different story.

Deciding that it had been long enough since the last time I messed with Y/N, I started to hatch a plan to bother them yet again. They had been pretty consistently skipping over songs, which involved them turning their back to me for a couple seconds while they waited for one they liked enough to let play. This was also the perfect opportunity for me to take the tool they just so happened to be using to make their ghost design.

“Don’t like this song,” Y/N huffed, setting down their tool and yet again turning their back to Tyler and I. While they were distracted, I scooped up the little scraper and tucked it beneath my leg where they wouldn’t be able to find it. Tyler took notice of this and immediately began to smile.

I watched as Y/N turned back around and reached for their tool, only to find the spot where they had left it empty. They began to look around, even going so far as to lift up their pumpkin to see if it had somehow slipped under there. Tyler and I were barely containing our laughter, which Y/N eventually took notice of.

“Alright, which one of you has it?” they asked, crossing their arms.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tyler said.

“Oh, come on,” they huffed. “I know I’m a bit absent-minded at times but there’s no way I misplaced an entire pumpkin tool.”

“What does it look like?” I asked, pretending to be concerned.

“It’s a little, like, orange tool. This big,” they said, holding their fingers up for reference. “Wait, hold on a second. I’m still not entirely convinced that you didn’t take it.”

“Does it look like this?” I asked, grabbing it from beneath my leg.

“Yes, thank you,” they said, reaching for it. I wasn’t ready to give in so easily, so I pulled my arm back and out of Y/N’s reach. They frowned and scooted closer to me, reaching their arm as far as it would go. “Josh! Give it here,” they laughed.

“No way.”

“Josh! Come on.”

They moved forward, grabbing onto my bicep and trying to pull it towards them. I resisted, but not so much that I would accidentally punch something if they decided to let go all of a sudden.

“I thought we had a truce,” they laughed as they tugged on my arm.

“We had a truce for… what was it? Pumpkin projectiles?”

“That was it,” Tyler chimed in.

“You two are the worst.”

I tried to move the arm that was supporting my body a little further back, but I miscalculated how much weight was on it and ended up falling straight back onto the hardwood. This caused Y/N to tumble right on top of me, leaving our noses only a few inches apart. I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that my face was the brightest red that it had been all day.

“I’ll be taking that, thank you,” Y/N grinned, taking the tool out of my grip that had now loosened significantly.

I was still in a daze when Y/N fully climbed off of me and went back to sitting behind their own pumpkin. Tyler was looking at me with raised eyebrows, but I was avoiding his gaze. There were already enough butterflies in my stomach as it was and I didn’t need Tyler’s taunting look to make them even worse.

“Are you two almost done with your pumpkins?” Y/N asked as if nothing had happened. “I want to start the movie soon.”

“What movie are we watching?” Tyler asked.

“I was thinking The Conjuring. One of the best horror movies there is. Is that ok with you two?”

“Fine with me.”

“Yeah,” I said, swallowing hard. “Me too.”

*     *     *

“Do you have any other blankets?” I asked, noticing there were only two sitting on the couch.

“No, those are all I’ve got. We can share, if that’s ok with you?” Y/N asked, raising their eyebrows.

“Yeah, that’s ok. I’d rather not be alone under a blanket by myself while watching a horror movie, anyway.”

“Agreed,” Y/N smiled. “And there’s no way that Tyler is going to want to share a blanket with anyone.”

“Definitely not.”

I grabbed the larger of the two blankets and got settled on one end of the couch. Y/N always liked to sit between Tyler and I, especially when watching scary movies. They always joked around, saying that they felt safe with two celebrities on either side of them.

“Coming?” I asked, holding the blanket up for them to get comfortable.

The microwave went off in the other room, drawing their attention away. “Let me grab that, then I’ll come get comfortable.”

“Sounds good.”

I stared at some of the posters that Y/N had on their walls while I waited for them to return with snacks. Most of them were for movies that they particularly liked or bands that they had gone to see, although Tyler and I didn’t have the honor of being hung in the living room. Y/N always said that it was too cheesy to have their best friends on the wall, especially when they had guests over.

My looking around was interrupted by Casper joining me on the couch and plopping himself down right next to me. He looked at me for a moment before resting his head on my thigh and blinking up on me. Unable to resist his puppy dog eyes, I happily scratched at his fluffy ears.

“Ok, snacks are here!” Y/N grinned, returning with a bowl of popcorn and a bag of candy.

“Smells delicious,” I smiled.

“Thanks, I made it in the microwave,” they giggled. “Casper, down.”

I once again held the blanket out so that they could crawl under it once Casper was out of the way. They sat down next to me, leaving a small gap between us. I tried my best to mask my disappointment, but then decided that for once I wanted to make a bit of a move.

“You know, if you get a little closer to me then we can wrap the blanket around us a little tighter. It would be warmer.”

Y/N looked at me for a moment before they began to smile. “Good idea.”

They scooted closer so that our legs were now pressed together, sending tingles all the way up to my scalp. Tyler would undoubtedly have some comment about this situation, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Y/N was cuddled up next to me and that was more than enough to combat anything he had to say.

“Tyler!” Y/N called. “Are you almost done?”

“Yeah, I’m coming! I was just trying to get the bleeding to stop.”

“I should have gone in there and helped him,” Y/N sighed. “If he wasn’t capable of carving a pumpkin without injury, I should have known he wouldn’t be able to bandage it, either.”

Tyler appeared from the bathroom a few minutes later, now sporting a spooky bandage on his finger. He let his gaze linger on the two of us cuddled up under the blanket, but didn’t immediately make a comment. He just grabbed his own blanket and got comfortable on the other side of Y/N.

“Only two blankets, huh?” he smiled.

“I don’t have that many blankets here, Ty. I live alone.”

“I just asked a question!”

Y/N rolled their eyes and grabbed the remote from where it was sitting on the coffee table. The movie hadn’t even started and I could already feel my heart starting to beat a little harder in my chest, although that could have just been because Y/N was pressed up next to me. 

“Ready?” they asked, hovering over the “Play Movie” button.

“Ready,” I nodded.

“Ready.”

Thirty minutes of the movie had passed and it was going surprisingly well. There hadn’t been anything too scary, and I was beginning to wonder if it was really going to live up to all the hype that Y/N had given it. Tyler had even fallen asleep on the opposite end of the couch and was now snoring lightly. Next to me, Y/N was watching the screen intently. 

I was about to make a comment about the movie not being scary when the music ramped up and the first of what would eventually be many scary scenes played out on the screen. Without realizing it, my hand flew out and grabbed onto Y/N’s arm, gripping it tightly.

“Ow, Josh,” they laughed softly. “My arm.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, immediately loosening my grip. “I just wasn’t expecting that to happen.”

“That’s kind of the point.”

I let out a long breath of air. Maybe watching a scary movie hadn’t been such a good idea. Y/N must have noticed my distress, because they reached out and put a hand on my arm.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok. I’m right here.”

They slowly moved their hand along my arm until their fingers were laced with mine. All of the fear seemed to instantly melt away as I held their hand in my own. When I gave Y/N’s hand a light squeeze as thanks, I was met with one in return.

Maybe Tyler was onto something.

****

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