#for me. like in a surprisingly healthy way imo

[halfblankhalfapocalyptic]

i do think the internet is ruining activism. and is also the greatest tool yet for modern solidarity and mutual aid and awareness

[superfallingstars]

Playlist for Snupin dancing in the kitchen?

(from Remus-poopin btw)

send me playlist prompts! please i still want them!

Gnjfhfjjdkfjsk this is like the ideal playlist ask THANK YOU

This is a playlist of warm and sunny 60s/70s/80s songs to dance and cook to, with a healthy amount of (slightly complicated) love songs. I'm gonna go thru this song by song because as per usual I have shit to say

Track list:

Todd Rundgren - Can We Still Be Friends?: so Snupin is kinda an enemies-to-lovers thing, right? So this lovely little song – "Let's admit we made a mistake, but can we still be friends?" – is rather fitting. Also I just love Todd Rundgren and his warm jazzy 70s piano songs, he makes great kitchen music.

Laura Nyro - Stoned Soul Picnic: I'm going to need to remove the phrase "warm jazzy 70s piano songs" from my vocabulary by the end of this, but that's exactly what this song is. Also I'm just a huge Laura Nyro fan and looking for an excuse to talk about her. Unrelated but also she looks like how I imagine Eileen Prince

The Cleaners from Venus - Lukewarm Love Song: IMO this is the best song on this playlist. Like I mentioned in the Remus playlist ask, The Cleaners from Venus (with their adorable jazzy lo-fi jangle pop songs) are peak Remus to me. This song is one of my favorites of theirs and imo fits the Snupin dynamic very well. The lyrics are SO ambiguous in the best way possible: "I would not be with you unless I wanted to" could be a comforting reassurance if that person is, well, with you, but if you're in a complicated enemies-to-lovers situationship, it might mean something else...! In this context, I read it as someone (let's be real probably Snape) convincing themselves that they don't like the other person, even though they are with them, and they do call them, and they think about them all the time (as the rest of the lyrics go)... and maybe THEN they realize that they're doing all of this because they want to. You done gone and fell in love idiot!

Shira Small - My Life's Alright: Ok I just have to say this album is amazing, this is Shira Small's only album and she made it in college and it's just the loveliest most comforting jazzy 70s thing in the world and I love it so much that I transcribed all the lyrics on Genius and it's great. To me this song is about slowing down and noticing the small things and being grateful for being alive and dancing in the kitchen and I like it!!!!

Warren Zevon - Werewolves of London: I like to imagine that Snape antagonizes Lupin with this song but Lupin begrudgingly enjoys it. I should finish that comic I started about this

Todd Rundgren - Izzat Love?: another W for Todd Rundgren and his warm jazzy 70s love songs

Shira Small - Here I Stand: A lovely little song of platonic or romantic devotion that also is surprisingly matter-of-fact. Here I stand with you but also you need to make up your mind about whether you want to enjoy life or not. Aka Lupin @ Snape

Orange Juice - Falling and Laughing: This is just kinda of one of the best love songs ever, I don't make the rules

The Replacements - Swingin' Party: This is very, we're cleaning up after everyone's gone home from the party but the music is still on and we're not quite sober yet. Also "if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side" ?!!!! screaming crying throwing up

Ronnie D'Addario - Nice Meeting You Again: I think this song is very fun in the context of two people who met a long time ago and fucking hated each other. "With every day, I see the way our love's brand new again" – CUTE.

Thank you so much for this ask and letting me gush about all of these songs. I have such brainrot for this ship. Hopefully this playlist shows the dynamic I'm going for and doesn't just make me look insane 👍

[nagihono-stan]

1

My comfort characters?

One of my long time comfort characters was Juudai Yuuki from Yu-Gi-Oh GX, a trend that you'll ses with my comfort characters is that they're either A, super adorable, or B, a suffering wet cat in the rain. Juudai is an example of A, at least in season 1. He's also a comfort because, like a lot of other people, I can relate to him. I will always stand by the idea that GX is really just a coming of age story, and Juudai represents that well. I can make a whole essay about this boyo if I wanted.

One of my more significant (if that makes sense idk how else to describe it) comfort characters is Dimitri (fe3h). He's got the best of both worlds, imo. He's both adorable and a suffering wet cat in the rain, oh the duality of man. Can I just give him a hug? I wanna give him a hug. He was a surprisingly big influence on my writing. The way he was written (at least in azure moon i haven't played azure gleam yet and i refuse to be spoiled) like... that's how I wanna write a character. I also cried during his supports with Marianne, and it's definitely an achievement for a work of FICTION to make me cry.

I get a lot of comfort from the Kirby characters a lot. It's because they're just so freaking cute I can just turn my brain off and enjoy the spoingles :D If I could be in any fictional world I would definitely be in the Kirby world. Even when there is stressful world ending stuff, it's still super cute! Very stress free and I need to be stress free... 😅

I have more but I don't really have as much to say about them other than whether they're adorable (A), or a suffering wet cat in the rain (B), so I'll just give a list. Some of them are from fandoms that I'm no longer a part of, just a heads up!

Yuusei Fuudo (Yu-Gi-Oh 5DS) A but in a mature way if that makes sense

Kaiser Ryo (Yu-Gi-Oh GX) Sometimes I just find comfort in other people's suffering. (People being fictional characters,I'm not a sadist irl don't arrest me)

Ok this might sound really weird and you're probably gonna lose a lot of respect for me for this but Sans the Skeleton. He's the exception to the A or B rule. I really only find comfort because some (keyword SOME) fan art is just really, really pretty and calming to look at. Also he's chill.

ENA (ENA YouTube Series) A. I find them (I still don't know what gender they are) to be just really fun. They're world is definitely number 2 for which one I would be in. ENA's kind of an "unreality" thing for me. They're world is a form of escapism.

I just started watching The Owl House and I'm kinda obsessed with it lmao, and with this obsession came my newest comfort character that I think about too much to be healthy! 🥳 It's the mother fricking Golden Guard. He's both A and B, if you were wondering. I'm a little ashamed about it, and I don't really know why, but then again I feel shame for everything I've ever done soooooo

[anakinh]

sw brotherhood ramblings (spoilers!)

okay so SW Brotherhood was really good. The plot was weak at times but the characterizations and character relationships (esp between Anakin and Obi Wan) is A+++. And isn’t that why we’re here? To read about the characters? It’s not called Star Wars: Good Plot (although the plot itself is fine enough)

I just finished it so I haven’t had time to stew, and I haven’t read anyone’s opinion on it or read much from the author with the exception of the acknowledgements (surprisingly informative) and one (1) tweet explaining that blitzball is from Final Fantasy X which is the most important piece of canonical Star Wars lore of all time. Anyway. Spoilers below the cut since I wrote a lot.

Overall I love it.

There were several weak spots, especially in the plot - for example, why did Obi Wan accept such a bad bargain in the first place? I guess he was desperate, but the investigation never would’ve worked with what he had. Ketar was also the weakest character imo. His descent into villainy is obviously supposed to mirror Anakin and I think also be a reference to the "angry young man without support or healthy emotional outlet” to “we’re all domestic terrorists” pipeline irl but it was very rushed and happened very quickly. Like this dude went from angry to terrorist in a few days? And we never really got to hear his Tragic Backstory until the trial, which didn’t help in his favour (although the nuance on how badly the Republic treated Cato Nemoidia was well done). It does, however, in a rushed way, show us how people exploit angry young men for terrible purposes, and how leaving them aside and assuming everything’s fine without affirming that you care or checking leads to terrible consequences which, hey, in this political environment probably helps. To be fair to Ruug, she did try at first before she got busy. Also the be fair to her she was only busy for a few days, but this whole thing took several days which, again, feels like it’s a bit too fast to be realistic. The final confrontation with Ketar was also quite heavy handed and messy, since Mill was narrating his emotions at every turn (we know he’s angry, thank you Mill, that’s been obvious for a while now) while Obi Wan and Anakin often talked to each other on the side... while Ketar was holding a detonator for a bomb and monologuing? Where did they have the time.

Another weak part is that imo it relies far too heavily on Anakin-related dramatic irony. Now, to be fair, what’s the clone wars without increasingly heavy handed Anakin-related dramatic irony? [deep sigh] It also mentions the memes a lot. Like, I get that technically Anakin is right and sand is, in fact, coarse and rough and irritating and it does, in fact, get everywhere, but every time you mention it I remember the meme and it makes things funny. Is this part supposed to be funny, Mike?

The golden, shining spotlight is the characterizations (barring Ketar) and the Anakin and Obi Wan relationship, though. And to a lesser extent the Anakin and Mill Alibeth relationship, which is adorable and Mill is the light of my life. Astonishingly, Obi Wan isn’t characterized as a perfect being who can do no wrong and Anakin isn’t characterized as a dumb impulsive idiot! I mean, don’t get me wrong, Anakin is both dumb and impulsive, but he’s also compassionate and caring and he loves so fiercely and he’s a genius who likes to fix things. And Obi Wan level-headed and eloquent but he also acknowledges mistakes he made with training Anakin (and he’s not gonna fix them, as we know) and he has blind spots he doesn’t consider. I have become so jaded with the way fandom portrays the two of them lmao. Even a tiny smidgen of Obi Wan not being perfect is enough to make me happy. Anakin’s relationship with his new arm is also nicely done. In the Prequels (specifically, in side notes) there was this very ableist idea given by George Lucas (and said to be believed by the Jedi Council) that his arm being cut off means that he is weaker in the Force due to the lack of midichlorians. Luckily, the Jedi Council never mentions this here and Anakin does have problems with his arm (understandable, it’s a new prosthetic) but he comes to accept it as a part of him and useful. What a breath of fresh air. Another very good reference to the difference between the more expressive TCW Anakin and the less expressive Prequels Anakin is the explicit note that Anakin puts on a monotone when he speaks to the Jedi. This ... fits. Anakin in TCW tends to be more expressive, Anakin in the Prequels is less, yes, but he sounds the most natural in the first 20 mins of Revenge of the Sith and when alone with Padme. It’s a very good tidbit to fill in.

Anakin and Obi Wan’s relationship is wonderfully done. They obviously care and love each other. The ways they work with each other, the ways the reign each other in, highlight their good parts and mitigate their bad, their slow acceptance that they’re equals now, both of them chilling out with regards to each other. The banter... it’s a great way to show them sliding into their Clone Wars relationship while acknowledging the friction (but care!) in AOTC. The way Obi Wan wishes Anakin was here to get him out of the mess because Anakin always manages to find a way but when Anakin shows up he immediately protests about having a plan that Anakin ruined. Anakin trusting Obi Wan to take care of himself and focusing instead on the bigger picture instead of his loved ones. Genuinely unprecedented for this boy, we love to see some growth. ([stares out into the distance])

Anakin and Mill are adorable, he’s always been good with kids (heavy...handed...Anakin-based...dramatic...irony....) and it shows in how he cares about her and encourages her to follow her heart. And he tells her that he’s learning from her and he does! He notes some things that he wished Obi Wan did for him and he does it for her! Genuinely so cute.

Obi Wan and Ruug... is probably something we should have more of. She seems like a rougher, more cynical version of Obi Wan - clearly meant to parallel him the same way Ketar parallels Anakin, except he could also see bits of Anakin in her. She’s also just a very cool character. Brave and good, but also cynical and pragmatic and hardened by war. We don’t get to see her interactions with Ketar as much, especially after he starts talking to Ventress, which is on purpose but still to both of their detriment. I also like how Ventress is more of a manipulator than a fighter here. Good to remember all of her skills, and good to remember that she also has reasons to dislike the Republic.

Side note, while I am talking about relationships: Anakin and Padme are so obviously in their Honeymoon Phase and it’s so funny. Obi Wan suspects but each time he’s like “are they... nah. No. I am going to think about something else.”

There are also some legit criticisms of the Jedi that I like being delivered. Like obviously they’re good, they’re trying to be good while the Republic is asking them to stray further from their vows, but lookat little Mill Alibeth pointing out that for a peacekeeping force, the Jedi place way too much value on their swords. Also Ventress pointed out some stuff but that’s was more in the manner of a creative use of the truth to make a better lie. It’s a well done piece of manipulation, certainly, but it’s not as impactful.

Lastly, author Mike Chen noted that he read the Revenge of the Sith novelization in his acknowledgements. Based and it shows and I love him for it. Literally bits in the narration that ties directly into that novel. The continuity of it all. [Chefs kiss].

[nastasyafilippovnas]

If Laura is so GREAT the show needs to stop teasing us with Cory and Bradley because this is the angst I live for ! It’s tortureeeee

loool Ikr??!! ALL THE PINING AND THE ANGST. Make up your mind, TMS, because this love triangle will be the death of me. But of course it is like this, because this season has been all over the place. The moment you think you have a character figured out, they throw another curve ball and it changes your whole perception.

And this has been especially bad with Bradley and her relationship with Laura. As I've said before, I don't trust Laura - her conversation with Chip last episode, when she mentioned Maggie, only reassured me she has her own secret agenda. Despite that, and despite their incredibly cringy start, I think Bradley and Laura had some good scenes these last two episodes, that showed us they are/can be happy together. (Although some already pointed how Laura could've dealt better with Bradley's feelings after coming out, but it was a stressful situation for her too imo). How real Bradley feelings are or is she just using Laura to escape her loneliness, *I* don't know, because it has been surprisingly hard to read Bradley this season. I wouldn't be surprised either way. Still, they could be good together.

Having said all that...they certainly don't have the development (and chemistry) that Bradley and Cory have, lol. They have a relationship that was built, first, on friendship - and a healthy and necessary dose of flirting and sexual tension. They went through a lot together and they both care about each other. Yes, Cory did something bad last episode, he broke Bradley's trust in a way that deeply hurt her, but it's not something unforgivable (imo). I think they could come back from it. Maybe not as a couple (yet), but for sure as even stronger friends. He clearly loves her and will always be there for her. It's also interesting that the episode not only ended with them, but with a scene where Cory is the one that managed to offer some comfort to Bradley, that knew the right thing to say to make her feel better.... So, yeah, I have no idea what they are doing to us but... not all hope is lost?

[bigskydreaming]

#when i read about tim i often kind of come to the idea that he's relatively self centered#and that can be both a flaw and a strength#but he doesn't often consider other people's feelings and circumstances#like when dick made damian robin he didn't really consider the situation from anyone else's view#or in his origin story#he doesn't seem to consider how dick would feel about hearing how tim was affected by dick's parents' death#or with the spyral situation#or in regards to him earning robin#and its pretty consistent in fandom characterization even if a lot of writers don't seem to be aware of it#its interesting cause i think its something i think he has in common with bruce#its honestly a surprisingly consistent thing from what i see#and it can be a strength to#it can absolutely lead to some confidence and self actualization#as well as being able commit to fixing something and working hard at it#because you believe you can and don't think anyone else can/will do it via @emenerd

Y’know, what’s interesting to me about these points is the fact that like.....Tim having tendencies towards self-centeredness is actually something that COMPLETELY makes sense and can be quite sympathetic in light of his backstory of having neglectful parents.

In an age of armchair diagnosticians eager to label anyone who expresses a controversial viewpoint while centering themselves as an example, as like, having a narcissistic personality disorder (and with the loaded implication that this makes them a bad person even if its true, instead of just....having a disorder, yay weaponizable ableism) like, it can be important to add in distinctions that even tendencies that share overlap with a lot of things born of entitlement, etc....aren’t always necessarily proof of that.

For instance, in Tim’s case, an overemphasis on himself and his own position in situations and arguments can very reasonably be attributed as a coping mechanism he developed in an attempt to acknowledge and address self-esteem issues he sees himself as having, DUE to parental neglect.

Its not that he thinks he’s the most important person in the room, necessarily, its that he spent so many years not even being considered a person in the room, that now he OVERCOMPENSATES on his own behalf, in an attempt to remind himself that no, his opinion and feelings and situations do matter.....and because he like most of the Bat-characters has a tendency towards hyper-fixating on a problem they’re trying to address, this can also understandably create a kind of tunnel vision. Where he’s so busy focusing on what he’s diagnosed as an actual issue he has that he’s trying to address or make up for, in order to build up his self-esteem....that he neglects to keep everyone around him equally centered in his interactions with them, and remember that like, they have their own issues and ignoring that to focus entirely on his own runs the risk of negatively impacting them in the exact same way he’s still learning to cope with having been negatively impacted in his development as a child.

None of this makes him a bad person, or is stuff that can’t be addressed and developed just by paying the appropriate attention to it and his interactions.

SO the issue I tend to more often have....

Is with how often in fandom and fanon we hear references to Tim’s neglect and emotional abuse and how this impacted him.....much in the same way we see Jason and Cass and Damian and Dick’s various forms of abuse and the developmental impact it had on them....

BUT there tends to then be a disconnect, IMO, because that acknowledgment of the WHAT of Tim’s neglect and abuse and the HOW it hurt him.....isn’t often followed up by an examination/awareness of how it also SHAPED him.....at least, not compared to how discussions/fics about say, Jason’s abuse tend to point out the latter as much as the former.

And this is a big part of my gripe with the ways abuse is centered and tackled as a topic in fics and fandom discussions, because its so often capitalized upon as a defense or shield for a character from criticism, stuff like that.....without ever actually EXPLORING the topic itself, or the FULLNESS of the impact it can have.

But only in regards to some characters.

What I mean is like....we see a lot of focus on Jason’s childhood abuse, yeah? And this often is then connected through headcanons, meta and fics to various aspects of Jason’s characterization as a teenager, and as an adult as well.....with a tendency towards anger or violence, abrasive personality, etc. Don’t get me wrong, its usually presented as such in a SYMPATHETIC light, especially when raised by fans of Jason themselves.....but his abuse is very much present and centered in fics and discussions as something that not only impacted him and made him suffer, but something that actually shaped him to varying degrees as well....with a lot of focus then in fics of him as an adult, like, paid to him going to therapy and unpacking his childhood abuse in an effort to WORK on these aspects of himself that make his present day life harder or less healthy than he’d like it to be. The issue of how his abuse lent itself to various behaviorisms is raised in order to address various byproducts of his abuse as FLAWS that he seeks to eliminate, in order to make himself happier and make himself someone that people want to be around more.

And again, don’t get me wrong - for the most part, this is a GOOD thing. The caveat here is just a personal dislike I have for how often these narratives smack of a kind of saviorism, and act like it was only through the grace of Bruce and becoming part of the Batfam that Jason’s ever afforded the opportunity to better himself as a person. I dislike the hell out of this because it not only pairs all too well with a lot of classist shit, it feeds into the singular narrative we’re so often presented with by media about abused kids: the myth of the victim being destined to become a victimizer, it all being an inevitable cycle. The reason this myth is so easily perpetuated is the exact reason I’m so critical of the saviorism in a lot of abused-Jason fics.....people can very easily fall into the trap of assuming that abused kids are likely to grow up to be abusers because they never have anyone to TEACH them that abuse is wrong, or to lead by healthy example. 

The harm of this perception is that it kinda throws under the bus every kid who never lucks out and gets a Bruce Wayne style savior swooping in to not only save them from their abusive environs, but TEACH them that they deserved better and that abuse is wrong. 

Because its like, uh, the thing is, plenty of abused kids who never get a personal mentor or savior figure are fully capable of figuring out for themselves that they deserve better and that people hurting them is wrong, because it makes them feel bad and they don’t like that? 

Many abused kids don’t grow up in a media vacuum where they simply have no access to glimpses of lives different from their own.....we see kids having happier, healthier family lives on TV or in books and are able to figure out that society overall thinks that’s what family is SUPPOSED to look like, and its ours that is the aberration? 

The very fact that we’re taught or have it instilled in us by abusive parents that like, we’re not to bring up instances or examples of our abuse to teachers or friends, that its a SECRET, is like, usually a dead giveaway that there’s something WRONG with it that we’re being instructed - and enforced with abusive consequences - to keep from alerting others to....like, this is basically a blaring siren to a lot of us that no, what’s happening to us ISN’T normal and acceptable, and that’s literally WHY the parent we’re afraid of is so insistent on us keeping the facts of it hidden? 

And so like, tons of abused kids figure out for ourselves the difference between right or wrong, based off nothing more than our own feelings about things and a desire to not be like the people who make us feel miserable - like, never underestimate the power of spite to like, keep a kid from growing up doing the same thing to others that was done to them, lol. 

But point being, lots of kids never get a Bruce Wayne figure to take them away from their abuse and also teach them that they never deserved it and how not to pass the hurt forward by doing the same things to others. And its kinda condescending as fuck that we so often see narratives that take it as so obvious it barely merits commenting on, that like, ‘of COURSE abused kids grow up to become abusers if they don’t have someone else step in and show them a better way’....mmm, no. Fuck that. But you get what I mean.

So like, its a mixed bag. Its a good thing, to see Jason-centric stories that show him addressing his childhood and seeking just a more fuller, happier, healthier life for himself. Its a less great thing to see this narrative presented as all encompassing, with it never being raised that no, Jason actually could figure out he deserved better and how to treat people in ways he’d want to be treated even without a billionaire guardian angel.....NOT because the narrative wherein someone helps an abused kid figure out what was wrong about how they were treated is like, NEVER valid....but rather it just becomes a problem when looked at as a data point against the larger tapestry of fandom-wide works....and noticing that this specific narrative is pretty much the ONLY one raised or treated as valid. With it just being ASSUMED to be the natural course of events and characters, rather than just....the direction society overall has their perceptions of abuse steered towards due to a singular and constantly reinforced abuse narrative shown to us in media.

And the way this all plays back into my point about Tim and what took me down this road in general.....

Is that disconnect I was talking about, lies specifically in HOW Tim is often acknowledged and regarded as an abuse survivor due to his emotional abuse and neglect......with this abuse and its impact on HIM often taking center stage, much the way Jason’s abuse and its impact takes center stage in his narratives.....

BUT with a key difference being that while a lot of Jason’s narratives go on to denote the specific ways his abuse helped SHAPE him and his interactions with others, and raise and address the ways in which he can better himself and his relationships by unpacking all of this openly....

Most of the stories about Tim’s abuse/neglect tend to just STOP at the awareness of its existence and impact on him. Never taking it that one step further to examine how those specific forms of abuse could have additionally SHAPED him....in ways that sometimes negatively impact those around him and his own loved ones, even if this is completely unintentional on his part. The difference, the disconnect, lies solely in how rarely its ever acknowledged that Tim’s own upbringing can and does play directly into how he interacts with people later on in life.....and in ways that he’s fully capable of addressing and bettering himself so as to be happier and healthier just in his own life, and in his relationships, as someone others want to be around.

Aaaaand once you actually examine or consider WHY there’s this discrepancy between the full ramifications of Tim’s abuse and that which various siblings of his underwent, when there’s full agreement that what he did go through absolutely can be termed abusive as well....like, its the implications of what about Tim makes him more naturally resistant or whatever to being shaped by his abuse in ways that have actual negative impact on others in his life, whereas the same isn’t true of say, Jason.....that’s when the red flags start to go up for me, and the unintended subtext starts to get Less Than Stellar, IMO.

Anyway. Just food for thought on the subject of Tim, his upbringing, the various impacts this had on not JUST him but also on how he interacts with others, and ways in which all of this compares and contrasts with how the subject of abuse is raised and depicted in regards to other Batkids.

[johns-prince]

John also had a lovely mix of masculine and feminine physical traits, though this wouldn't become obvious until 1968. When he was on the skinny side (which I loved, sue me) you could tell how beautifully delicate and dainty his bone structure was, way more than Paul's imo. He had those gorgeous long legs and graceful narrow hips that you most commonly find in fashion models. And I love that until at least 1975, he showcased his body beautifully, especially those legs.

Ironically I feel as if people didn't embrace John's femme beauty as well as they did with Paul. I don't know why. Most people seem to prefer him with the more masculine look of 1966. Which was great as well, he was gorgeous but I am a big fan of the 1968 to 1974 run. Btw, note to fanfic writers: please, show John's body some love, I know Paul is stunning but it's kind of exhausting reading 10 pages about how pretty he is and when it comes to my boy John he barely gets a paragraph 😂

Alright, I feel like I’m probably gonna rub a lot of people in this fandom the wrong way with what I’m going to say but this is my blog and you did send this to my inbox so here we go; At the end of the days these are my thoughts and feelings and I might not articulate them very well or I often ramble till I do!

I have my issues, and a complicated relationship with 1968-70s John Lennon. I love John, and thought him healthy and just right in his body type, basically up until 1968, and it’s spotty onward throughout the 70s. To me, John was naturally masculine looking, there’s not exactly an era or year that I could give you like you gave me [Specifically 1966? What about his teddy boy days? All of the early 60s? Hell even throughout the 70s, to me John still was masculine looking to me] He was a bit awkward in his teenhood, but all the boys were, and gradually grew into his adult body. Boy was built and sturdy, naturally thick and strong. 

So we’re probably split on this, because while you see the positives in 1968-1974/70s John, I only really see the negatives. You say skinny, I say malnourished and/or sickly. Depressed druggie who was pushing everyone and everything he loved away, and becoming pathetically dependent on an individual like Yoko [and the other vultures during that time who were terrible influences] 

George was skinny, John was not well and either starving himself or simply using drugs and alcohol as the basis for his diet. And diets.. don’t even get me started on that, the diets he was on, the unhealthy lifestyle that his wife only seemed to enable and help him get on. 

When I look at George, sometimes I get the need to feed him, like an old Mexican mother. When I look at John, who’d lost an unhealthy amount of weight for what it looked like for his body type, I don’t see delicate and dainty bone structure. I see a man who just, he’s not well, something’s wrong.

I’ll give it to you that 1974 New York photoshoot looked very nice, he had muscle again in his arms, though he was still relatively skinny, he didn’t look sickly, or depressed. So I can give you that period during the 70s, I will give you that [hey he was away from Yoko during this no fucking wonder he looked pretty good here] and that shoot was definitely a model moment, wasn’t it? [Not like he didn’t have many of those moments throughout his life] 

So there moments in the seventies where I think John doesn’t look half bad? Even relatively fine? Certainly, I’m devastatingly attracted to this man, dear God almighty have mercy on my soul yes I am. So I’ll agree that yeah, there were periods during the 70s in which John seemed to hold himself fairly well, I’d still climb it.

But I’m at least willing to admit that when John started his spiraling, in 1968, that he was Not Okay. And I personally believe he wasn’t all that okay throughout most of the 70s too... Maybe my issue isn’t with him being ‘skinny’ as it is I don’t like the underweight/severely underweight look on John, I just don’t. The incredibly unhealthy way he went about losing weight... Physically frail doesn’t fit him, and it only upsets me whenever I see photos of him that show how thin his legs became or how you can see his ribs, just how wasted away he’d look at times throughout the 70s, up until the last days of his life. 

You want a “skinny” or ''skinnier'' John Lennon? A healthy, ‘’skinny/skinnier’’ John Lennon for his body type, is ‘66 and ‘67 in my eyes, and even then it wasn’t a radical change in weight loss; John still looked like John.

And speaking of 1968-1969, or the White Album era; don’t think it isn’t lost on me when I see people making light of John’s unhygienic appearance during the making of the White Album. Boy was depressed and hurting for whatever reason, again, spiraling, and getting lost in Yoko and heroin as a means of escapism and someone to tell him ‘it’s alright it isn’t your fault it’s everyone else’s fault’. Of course he didn’t care much for his personal appearance or hygiene... I will say I appreciate your appreciation for him during that period, instead of getting the whole ‘stinky/smelly rat man.’ Maybe I’m too much of a ‘’stan’’ but I don’t find it very amusing or endearing. 

Don’t find me mocking or ‘’teasing’’ Paul’s depressed ass and his appearance during the breakup period/white album era-- but I suppose it’s because Paul actually tried and wasn’t on hard drugs, and had a good wife, so he was able to wear his depression and struggle with alcoholism a bit better, hmm? I don’t like Paul’s beard simply because I know it was the result of his lack of energy, depression, and falling into the drink-- he simply didn’t feel the need nor had the energy to care for himself, so that’s why he let it grow out. I don’t like it because of that, but that’s as much as you’ll get from me. 

Anyway... Maybe I just don’t see John as characteristically feminine/effeminate as Paul, although he has his moments of acting and wearing clothes that are campy and elegant or give off a softer appearance, specifically around 1968 and throughout the 70s. But otherwise, I can’t agree, John didn’t have the same mixture, or balance of masculine and feminine traits as Paul-- and if it’s only made obvious during the downfall turning point of The Beatles and John (1968), then I don’t think that really counts as a ‘’lovely’’ mix of masculine and feminine traits for the reasons I mentioned. So I’ve got to disagree. John's always come off as much more masculine, or naturally masculine, both physically and characteristically, to me.

You know maybe it’s just the blogs I interact with, but I feel like it’s the other way around. I know I can sometimes come off as aggressive but at the end of the day I don’t necessarily care what one person thinks or believes, since it’s all relatively subjective to our own ideas of things and biases, etc... I have my thoughts and beliefs and theories and whether people agree or disagree with them on tumblr dot com... Well, what’re you gonna do? Nothing, it’s not my problem. 

What I 100% agree on you with is about showing Johnny’s body a bit more love and attention to detail when it comes to writing about him in fanfiction! 

There’s his auburn red hair, a darker ginger, which was thick and fun to watch as it lit up like fire when sunlight hit him, and could easily go wavy and curl when left unkempt and natural. The splattered and scattered galaxies of light freckles up and down his arms, his shoulders, his back, even a couple on his face. His aquiline nose, a relatively square jawline and facial structure, thick, heavy eyebrows which really intensify expressions of rage and hurt, almond shaped eyes which are the color of honey-amber when the light hits them just right and outlined with thick, long lashes, blind as a bat without his glasses but can give a mean squint which either helps scare off trouble, or brings it right to him, especially when he’s got thin bitten lips that could pull off a devilishly cheeky smirk or a no-good, charming grin to showcase teeth with the upper front turned slightly in towards each other, gives that imperfection which truly just perfects it-- a face like that of a tragic hero in a Greek Romance, distinctive and handsome. How he just oozed filthy sex and genuine trouble, sweaty leather and smoky dancehalls and rock & roll that crawls up your spine like an orgasm. Hips that could roll like Elvis and strong legs, thick thighs which would make a lovely place to sit. Broad shoulders, strong arms that could easily manage to lift you up and manhandle you in any way he’d like. Big hands, almost like shovels-- beautiful hands, with fingernails usually bitten short and occasionally had black ink or charcoal under them from when he’d be working on art, and rough, callused fingertips from playing guitar till they split and bleed, add a lovely roughness to any gentle touching he might do. A naturally thick midsection, a normal, healthy layer of fat which covers the sinewy just beneath. Any hair is light, light and lightly colored, on his arms and legs and chest. Cute tush, nice butt, a nice boy butt, slightly muscular bubble butt. 

Fun facts; he had the largest feet out of all four Beatles. John isn’t circumcised. John and George share the same height. John has a surprisingly long tongue. John’s skin tone may be light, but for comparison, he’s much tanner compared to Paul-- he’s a bit more olive or wheat to his skin tone, and tanned very, very well. John’s cheeks could become easily red though. John liked the scent of citrus to wear--  he was also self conscious about the fact he could easily sweat and so usually wore such colognes or scents, didn’t want to smell bad. He started smelling of witch hazel when with Yoko. Despite his issue with sweating, he didn’t smell bad naturally. John was a true romantic, being an artist outside of being a musician/rock and roller-- he just didn’t like to show it, and growing up in his time, you couldn’t. John’s a swimmer, he loved to swim and loved the ocean. 

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

rank kurt ships: kalter, kurtofsky, hevans, kelliott, kadam, klaine, kurtbastian, kurt/chandler. also rank Blaine ships: klaine, blam, blainofsky, seblaine, blaine/jeremiah

Oooooh, okay! Fair warning - there’s going to be a lot of negativity in this one, so I’m placing it under a cut.

Kurt Ships:

Doing this list made me realize that I don’t like most Kurt ships. There are only two that I genuinely like - none of the others are good enough for him.

-

8. Kurt/Karofsky - Y’all, Karofsky traumatized Kurt. He physically and sexually assaulted him, scared him to the point where he had to change schools. That would make for the most toxic and horribly traumatic relationship. I don’t judge 99% of ships, but if you ship these two then I genuinely worry about you.

7. Kurt/Chandler - They interacted in one scene. Chandler was in essence, a more annoying Tyler Oakley. Why does this ship even exist?

6. Kurt/Sebastian - Sebastian spent all eight minutes of screentime with Kurt insulting, demeaning, and trying to blind Kurt - no thank you. They get a spot higher solely because Grant and Chris have excellent chemistry.

5. Kurt/Walter - I apologize for being judgmental, but I find large age gaps extremely skeevy. Sorry. Kurt and Walter’s entire “relationship” made me very uncomfortable, and this is only higher than Kurtbastian because Walter never tried to hurt Kurt.

4. Kurt/Adam - They couldn’t have given Kurt a more bland and uninteresting midgame if they’d tried. Baby Got Back? Really? I was sorely disappointed by the lack of chemistry between the two and how Kurt barely had any interest in Adam.

3. Kurt/Sam - Listen, I don’t like this ship. It’s just that the options below it are so bad that I am forced to place this one higher. I don’t see the compatibility at all and I feel like more often than not, Kurt would be annoyed by Sam rather than endeared by him. I love them as friends, but I don’t see them in a legitimate relationship.

2. Kurt/Elliott - I love them! I love them so much! I will always maintain that Kurt and Elliott should have hooked up or had a short fling, and then stayed friends for the rest of the show.

1. Kurt/Blaine - I adore them with all my heart and more. They’re special to me because they were the first queer couple I saw that actually got a story, complete with all the ups and downs any straight couple would go through, and even after all of that they got a happy ending. It meant the world to me to see that. And even without the representation aspect, I love their story, imperfectly perfect as is.

Blaine Ships:

Oh, damn. I also hate almost all of these. Why didn’t either of them get legitimate midgames?

5. Blaine/Sebastian - Anyone who has spent any time on my blog will notice how much I loathe this ship. It’s one of two ships that I can never tolerate, and I really and truly do not see the appeal. What is it - no chemistry? Disrespect and refusing to take no for an answer? One-sided obsession? One half of the ship repeatedly stating that the other one means nothing to them?

Or is it the fact that people just want to see two hot men together? Yeah, that’s probably it. It’s funny, because I’ve heard people say that Klaine shippers are mlm fetishizers, but in my experience that term is much more suitable for people who ship Blaine and Sebastian together, because there’s nothing beyond the attractiveness of their actors that anyone could find appealing.  

Sebastian had zero personality beyond being a pretentious dick and doesn’t belong anywhere near Blaine (or Kurt).

4. Blaine/Jeremiah - Haha, I’m not really sure what to do with this. I have no opinions on this ship, but I do think it would have been hilarious if Blaine had ended up dating Jeremiah in S6 instead of Dave.

3. Blaine/Sam - I don’t ship them romantically at all, and I really dislike the idea of them in a relationship, but objectively speaking they would probably make a cute couple. I just don’t vibe with them that way, and that’s fine.

2. Blaine/Karofsky - I’m going to be honest, this is the one of the few instances in Glee where the execution is better than the idea. The idea of Blaine with Kurt’s former tormentor is so much worse than the reality of what we got - which was surprisingly a sweet, loving relationship that was (dare I say it) healthy for Blaine.

They’re overhated, IMO, and even though I don’t like them together, I will say that they were objectively not a bad couple. Had it not been for the baggage, I would have probably shipped them.

1. Blaine/Kurt - they’re why I’m here, y’all 🥰

-

I really do wish Kurt and Blaine had been given actual midgame relationships. I love their story as is, but if I had to make some tweaks, genuine midgames would certainly be one of them. 

[1010ll]

do you have any new recipes that you've learned recently? i remember you wrote something a while ago about carbonara and i tried it out for myself it was really fun!!

i love this 😭 im gonna write way too much idec! something that has changed since that post: my kitchen is worse. i have a horrible combi oven which has resulted in me accidentally eating raw chicken, because it had been in there for more than 2 hours at supposedly 230 °C and i was really hungry and thought it HAD to be done by then. also i have less time and less money lol. it has made me a bit sad, and less motivated to cook nice things but i also love food! which means these tips/recipes are gonna reflect that and might seem a bit dull but probably also relatable for a lot of people.   i’ve definitely made spaghetti carbonara a bit too much because it’s simple and require few ingredients! will still vouch for that one tip about substituting the bacon with roasted veggies and other types of meat.

last week i made risotto for the very first time, i think? which means i might be assuming a bit too much, but i think it’s a great dish that you can almost make with whatever you have in your fridge. i made it with roasted beetroot(needs A LOT of time to soften, lesson learned), carrots and parsley root or parsnip(idk the difference), dried rosemary and thyme, garlic and onion. i had some leftover sushi rice, which is great for risotto apparently(love versatile ingredients), roasted them in some oil and then added white wine and chicken stock and actually added a leftover parmesan rind i had in the fridge to give the ‘stock’ some flavour, a bit of nutmeg and then in the end some shredded gouda lol… it was surprisingly delicious and i didn’t even really care to cook the rice perfectly. it also tasted delicious 3 days later, which was a nice surprise. i bet there are tons of risotto recipes online, but as long as you have rice, some kind of flavoured water, i guess you could kind of add whatever you want of veggies and top with whatever herb you have around.

another type of porridge i consume a lot these days is hot oat porridge, which i’ve eaten since i was little and it was the first ‘dish’ i learnt to make myself and it’s cheap. some people really dislike the consistency and look but i don’t. it’s also very easy to customise. i put in whatever nuts and seeds(which are often cheaper than nuts) i have around: flaxseed, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chopped almonds and sometimes a dollop of peanut butter. i let them simmer along with the oats. i like adding those elements because it gives it some texture and it keeps me more full throughout the day. it’s very important to me because i hate spending money i don’t have on fast-food when i’m not home and i hate being hungry. dried raisins, cranberries for a bit of sweetness and if i’m treating myself i’ll add some fresh apples cut into small pieces or some homemade berry compote(i use frozen) or brown sugar. if i had more money i’d use maple syrup but i don’t at the moment. i also add a bit of cinnamon and cardamom, dried ginger etc, whatever you feel like. some people also add milk afterwards but i’d rather spend my milk on my coffee.

a small tip: making chili flake / garlic oil. it’s really delicious, you could put it straight on pasta with some parmesan and pepper and it would be a filling meal. either chop the garlic really fine, grate it, microplane it, smash it to pieces. heat some olive oil until it’s quite hot, then remove from heat and add the chili flakes and garlic. if the oil isn’t hot enough you can just put the pan or pot back on the heat but be careful you don’t burn the chili flakes or garlic, as it will make it bitter. the longer it will toast, the less pronounced the raw garlic flavour will be, so when it smells toasted enough for your taste, take it off. i store it in a tiny glass jar and add it in stews, sauces, toasts, pizza, sandwiches etc. the flavour is very strong imo and everything it touches will smell like it. something to drink: i like strong foods and i like sour foods, which is why i like lemon/ginger based drinks. to make it even more winter friendly and easy to make, i like to grate unpeeled ginger(i hate slices of ginger, they do nothing for me and seems like a waste of ginger), lemon zest, lemon juice and mix it or blend it with some water/apple juice and honey and strain it afterwards. if you have a really nice blender you can just add all of it together with some ice. i’m basically making a large amount of ginger shot mixture. then when i feel like it, i can take some of the mixture and either drink it as it is, add more apple juice if i need a refreshing beverage or add hot water and more honey for when im cold. you could also add turmeric, chili, use less sweetener and other sorts of healthy stuff but i honestly do it for the taste so i don’t care about that that much.

something sweet: i posted earlier about cakes and someone mentioned swedish kladdkaka, which is a super delicious, cheap, brownie-like chocolate cake that is easily customized and hard to fuck up which is why i’ve made it since i was very young and is a go-to and i didn’t even know it was a swedish thing. if you like airy, light cakes this is not for your. this is sticky, sweet and almost like confection. you can add nuts, swirls of peanutbutter, tahini, actual pieces of chocolate, replace the white sugar with brown sugar, the butter with oil(you can be fancy and use a bit of olive oil) or use a mixture, brown the butter, you name it. the recipe i use is this: melt 100 g butter and let cool. mix 2 eggs + 3 dl sugar in a bowl until fluffy in one bowl. mix 1.5 dl flour, 4 tbs cocoa, 1 pinch of salt in another. mix the dry with the wet mixture and add the cooled, melted butter. this is the point where you’d add chopped nuts, chocolate etc. pour the batter into a cake tin lined with parchment (i use one that is 16 cm in diameters i think). bake the cake for around 30 mins at 150°C - 175°C degrees. check on the cake using a cake tester or a a knife. if the knife is clean after … stabbing it, it’s done! the cake will change it’s texture after cooling. this is a cheap cake, and if you like cake dough you might want to give it less time in the oven for a more fudgey texture. make it your own! there are no rules. last time i made this, i left it in for too long in my opinion but it was still delicious. also i literally have a shit oven with a round oven rack that goes in circles no matter what due to the microwave function, and the only ‘mixing’ equipment i have is a whisk and a spatula. no need for kitchen aids or  even electrical hand mixers.

something else i’ve been eating a lot for lunch is simple open faced sandwiches, and something that can really elevate those is: making your own mayonnaise(and toasting the bread). it can be challenging, but it’s really worth it imo and i can’t remember the last time i bought it in a store. i have a small plastic bowl, whisk and 1 egg yolk. something i can really recommend is buying pour snouts for bottles. i transfer my oils from their plastic bottles to smaller, old soda bottles because im cheesy like that and it’s really handy especially when making mayo. constantly whisking the egg yolk by hand and then adding the NEUTRAL oil ever so slowly. don’t be fancy and use cold pressed stuff or extra virgin olive oil because it will taste weird. i only ever fail when i try to use immersion blenders for some weird reason but i find it rewarding to do by hand anyways and i think it might be easier to make smaller portions that way. mayo needs acid and you can get it by adding regular vinegar, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice, pickle juice, citric acid dissolved in water etc. it’s really easy to customise! when im making banh mi, i add some sesame oil, soy sauce for saltiness and use lime as the acidic element. for more regular use i add a bit of mustard(also helps with the emulsion), for fries, i like adding some fresh garlic. something as simple as mayo, tomatoes, flaky salt and pepper topped with chives is really nice. i also really like using slices of boiled potatoes or boiled eggs(idk if that’s only a thing where i’m from), mayo and the chili garlic oil. it’s also great for making tuna salad. yesterday i made a really simple sandwich with a very simple tuna salad(tuna, mayo, yoghurt, lemon and pepper), arugula, basil, the garlic/chili oil, cream cheese, pickled jalapeños and onions, green peber, cucumber and tomatoes. you could leave out everything but the tuna salad and it would still be a great little meal.

another nice condiment that beats the supermarket stuff by far is homemade ‘pesto’. when i buy parsley from my local grocery store, it’s a gigantic amount that i in no way can consume in a week. first of all when buying fresh herbs i really recommend washing them, wrapping them in a damp towel and keeping them in a closed container. it will prolong their lifetime from lasting a day to a week(change the towel if it seems too wet). i once had some cilantro in my fridge for several weeks and still be fresh. anyways, when i buy that much parsley, i like to remove the tougher parts of the stem(which i use in stews/sauces! chop it up and sautee it along with garlic and onion), add literally just olive oil, water, pepper, garlic, and a bit of acid and then blend away! it keeps for a long time in the fridge and is also delicious beneath tomatoes/potatoes/cheese on open-faced sandwiches. if you want to be fancy you can of course add some type of hard cheese, nuts, seeds, dried tomatoes, whatever.

i know this is the longest text post ever, but as a last reminder, i really recommend watching pasta grannies on youtube. really simple recipes with focus on few, good ingredients that just takes some time and love.

[ardeidae]

chain of iron ranting

honestly tbh i’ve kinda just been struggling over this book like . i love it but there are so many things that i cannot get over so...i thought i’d compile them in one post just to get my mind off them

positives

of the many, many character relationships, i found myself caring the most about jordelia (w/ some matthew) and grace w/ everyone (surprisingly). it’s pretty obvious why i care about jordelia—from all the domestic scenes to the almost absurd amount of miscommunication and heartbreak, i want to slap them both in the face and just get them to be happy. ofc, i understand why they aren’t, but i’m mad (and waiting for chain of thorns).

ofc, when we talk about jordelia, we have to mention matthew. i am literally praying that matthew and cordelia aren’t the final couple—which is funny, because pre-chain-of-iron i was rooting for fairstairs. but i’ve backed up on that decision. we saw real, genuine james in this book, and all the scenes with him and cordelia convinced me that jordelia (hopefully) is what we’ll get in the end. and besides, cordelia’s sorta said that she can’t love matthew in the way he wants her too, and i’m half-convinced matthew doesn’t actually love her in that way either—half-convinced, though. chain of thorns chould change my mind, i’m open to suggestions.

grace is slightly different. we got a look into just who she is, and i find myself...not liking, but understanding her better. the moments when she stops herself from using her power on christopher is one of my favorites (i’m still mad she pulled a one-eighty at the end though and pretend like it was nothing)

i love alastair in this book (...though i found myself not caring about him with thomas, which i found curious). we see more of the mature side of him, and he’s really one of the only characters who isn’t flat-out lying in this book, which is refreshing. i found his attitude towards his father interesting, and his little thing about the child not having a father was heartbreaking. loved him here.

negatives

now that i’ve got the stuff i liked out of the way...the negatives. i found myself—surprisingly—not too fond of jesse and lucie in this book. i understand lucie’s motivations—she both “loves” jesse and owes jesse for james’ life, even if jesse won’t hold her to that. but man, i don’t understand all the secrets. when lucie stood in front of cordelia, who was trying her damn hardest to not run a sword through lucie, all she could think about was jesse. jesse’s dead, and while she might have the power to save him, that isn’t a healthy relationship. they’re cute—i’ll give them that—but chain of gold didn’t give us a glimpse into how far she’s willing to go for jesse, and i don’t like this new development. she’s putting jesse over everyone—over cordelia, over her entire family. and i’m not happy about it. imo this is a fantasy—lucie getting to be the main hero of her story, only it’s not a story that can have a happy ending. at least, in my opinion.

speaking of that, i thought there were several things that were forced in this. it might be because i hate that cordelia ran off with matthew (though i understand why she did it), but i think the whole “james lucie will only listen to you” argument is stupid. we’ve never seen a case of this before—of lucie listening to james over her parents—and i feel like it was a plot device used only to make sure james didn’t run after cordelia and matthew.

i also found the whole “win a game, get a question” thing a bit peculiar. it’s rarely used as more than an exposition device, and we see it used once so that cordelia can find out why the merry thieves hate her brother (to my memory). i think i would have liked it better if we’d gotten more moments with this—after all, they play chess or some other game every night, and we could have gotten so many moments (i’m still mad that we never got the end of the scene where cordelia is like “if you wanna know who i had a crush on you gotta beat me at chess” like i want to see competitive james).

the...meh

there was stuff i wasn’t too excited about here either. the plot was decent—i didn’t expect the lilith twist—but something about the pacing felt old. too slow in some places, and too fast in others. also there’s more than one plot line here, and while the murder one was cool, the resurrection one felt a bit...messy. it kind of splits into two—what lucie’s doing, and what grace is doing, and lucie’s gets a lot more of the spotlight. not really a decision i liked—i find grace’s motivations and how far she’s willing to go more interesting, and i’ve already discussed why i didn’t really like lucie in this book.

i found anna and ariadne boring too. i’m not a person who cares about...steamy scenes that much, and steamy pretty much defines most of their relationship throughout the book. i would have liked it better if we spent more time on it, but this books juggles a lot—and i mean, a lot—of relationships, and it felt underdeveloped.

i also had some qualms about the dialogue. maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it took awkward jumps to reach certain conclusions (like there was a checklist for certain dialogues) and it didn’t feel natural. but that’s just me being picky.

...oh and i’m on the edge about alastair and thomas. the fact they spent their time together making out isn’t something i liked. i would rather have them talk, because that’s kind of what their relationship needs. i completely understand why alastair turned him down at the end, and while i pity thomas, i can’t say i disagree.

i also can’t understand why magnus and james spent so long in the spiral labyrinth. i read the short story at the end, and it kinda felt like a reason to just not have two trustable, actually sane adults to help. maybe i missed something (i was running on very little sleep by this point) but i didn’t get it.

...well that was me ranting. i don’t expect anyone to care, but i like writing things down. anyway (if anyone has finished this to the end, in which case, i’m thankful) have a wonderful day :)))

[shinhatigf]

okay so I do have an anakin fix it au floating around in my brain in which revenge of the sith goes as well as it possibly could BUT that's not the important part of this post the IMPORTANT part is what happens to maul in this au. (disclaimer: all I know about maul's backstory is from watching the clone wars and reading his wookiepedia page so some of this might be inaccurate. bear with me)

okay so because order 66 didn't happen, maul is brought before the council. he was sith so the council would want to deal with him personally

I think with palpatine dead (fully and completely 100% dead no take backs) the influence of the dark side everywhere would be lessened. everyone would feel a lot clearer, happier, brighter, like a dark cloud had been lifted from their mind. this would include maul.

however, for maul, diving deep into the dark side has been something of a coping mechanism. amassing as much power as possible and giving yourself over to this dark higher power means you don't have the contemplate the fact that you were stolen from your family and home world and fed incredibly damaging rhetoric from the man who 1) let you die 2) immediately upon finding out you were still alive electrocuted the fuck out of you and killed the last part of your family and (imo) the only person you ever truly loved

so maul upon arriving to the jedi council, while slightly less affected by the dark side, is still full of pure rage, hate, and a clusterfuck of other emotions brought about by thinking about the jedi. he's a whole disaster

okay this is going to get very very long I'm going to put a read more here

I imagine some in the council would like to kill or exile him and be done with it, but after the inherent trauma of the clone wars and seeing how far separated from their ideals the jedi order has become, they'd show him mercy. this part may not necessarily make 100% sense but shut up this is the good things for maul au maul gets good things

therefore, the council would vote in favor of rehabilitation. what I imagine this would look like is maul would be heavily guarded and watched, and whenever possible he would be visited by jedi masters (and masters ONLY. they're not dumb)

maul gets his own quarters, which are big enough not to be stifling or tiny but small enough to still fit in a jedi temple where they value austerity and forsaking possessions. they would want to give maul as much freedom as possible while making sure he couldn't be a threat to anyone around him, which would mean he doesn't have much freedom at all. he's fed and watered and visited by at least one jedi master a day. these visits are usually someone meditating and trying to rehabilitate maul's mind while not being openly invading, rather guiding maul's broken mind into its natural state and removing palpatine's influence. these visits are also good old fashioned therapy (maul desperately needs to talk some shit out)

it would take a very very very long time but with guided meditation and constant consistent kindness and understanding shown to him by the jedi maul would start to heal. one of the major things that palpatine forcibly shoved into his brain is a distrust and particular hatred for the jedi, but after spending so many years in their care and with constant (almost annoying) understanding that belief system would start to break down.

it would start small. like one day maybe instead of feeling rage and anger around savage's death he feels sadness because for the first time he's in an environment where he has the space to breathe and remember his brother

I think once maul has actually started to improve a little bit and moved past his rage and murder phase that's when obi-wan would visit him. which would definitely bring back some rage and murder but also it would bring maul some closure. I'd imagine they'd both need some sort of closure, considering maul killed qui gon and obi-wan essentially killed him. but obi-wan saying something like "I forgive you. I'm not your enemy." that might throw a wrench into maul's thinking

so over time, maul is becoming less and less emotionally tumultuous. he's in a stable environment in which a set group of people visit him daily solely for the purpose of rehabilitating him, both through the force and just regular conversation as equals. eventually, after enough time in this environment, whoever maul is beneath the rage and pain and the dark side would emerge

this is the side of maul that I wrote this for. this is why he's one of my favorites.

maul is deeply intelligent, and rather calculating. while he usually forgoes rational thought to scream "kenOBIIIIIII" into the night he's very good at assessing a situation and how to get the best possible outcome. he feels things very deeply but he's incredibly bad at naming exactly what his feelings are and he's not very good at reading the emotions of others. I think a flaw of his is that he really forgets to take emotions into account, while for the jedi that's kind of their whole thing. (yeah the jedi are stereotyped as unfeeling warriors but that's not true at all, they acknowledge and release their feelings into the force. for them their feelings are the force.)

I think one day when maul is beyond resisting his existence at the jedi temple, when he slowly realizes "hey my life sucks a whole lot less than before" he manages to actually solve a problem for one of the masters who visits him regularly and has become the closest thing he can really have to a friend. said master (maybe kit fisto just because I like kit fisto) rants about a problem or a mission that they're having and maul just goes "well it's obvious, really." and manages to solve the problem like that by nature of his unique perspective.

and after a looong amount of time has passed, maul's role shifts from enemy, victim, and a patient to being a voice of rationality, a problem-solver, and someone to rant to when the whole jedi master thing gets to be A Lot™

seriously though I cannot stress how long it would take for maul to heal and get to this point. MINIMUM five years.

eventually maul and some people he's forged friendships with petition the council to allow him to have some more freedom. while extremely hesitant, without palps clouding their vision they could much more clearly see maul's mental state and what sort of danger he would pose to the jedi, and they would let him move freely about the temple

okay here's my favorite part of this whole thing. maul is a fucking nerd. he discovers the jedi library and goes insane. maul would read so many books about so many different things because he's interested in everything and he'd want to build his knowledge in a myriad of subjects. he would spend hours upon hours in the jedi library just reading every single thing in there. he'd beg one of the masters to let him access the "forbidden knowledge" just because it's knowledge and he wants it. and if that didn't work he'd find a way to break in (the forbidden knowledge did not disappoint).

I also think maul would love to spar with lightsabers and stuff. he'd know techniques the jedi wouldn't, and so in friendly spars with people he'd managed to befriend, he'd actually give them a fight and teach them something, while also learning new techniques from the jedi

I think maul would consider becoming a jedi for a brief second. he's happier here than he's probably ever been, finally free from palpatine's influence and in a healthy environment. but he knows it's not his path.

after spending a long time living at the jedi temple, having carved out something of a life for himself, made friends for the first time in his life, having finally achieved emotional stability, he approaches the order on his own. they expect, after having been long used to his presence, for him to ask to be a jedi. but he comes with an unexpected proposal.

maul asks to leave the jedi temple to go home to dathomir, to see what had become of his family and of the nightbrothers. he's much much more stable than he was, but he still has burning questions that palpatine would never have let him find the answers to. and he genuinely does want to get there, eventually. but he also wants to learn more about the force that the jedi wouldn't teach him, to learn more about the sith.

his departure is surprisingly more emotional than he was expecting. the jedi temple was the first place he'd ever actually felt safe, that he'd been allowed to just exist. he would miss it.

armed with all the knowledge in the jedi temple, he searches for knowledge the jedi wouldn't have access to. he finds the remains of mortis, and researches the mortis gods. he spends a period of time wandering around like batman crushing the people he doesn't particularly like (usually people objectively morally horrible. he spent years with the jedi he has ✨morals✨ now). he even made his way to ilum, and found two crystals to forge a new double-bladed lightsaber. (the blades are yellow.)

maul would also study ancient sith texts, and spend a lot of time investigating old sith temples (like the one on malachor). however, he doesn't have the same burning desire to seize the power for himself anymore. it's an odd feeling.

eventually he does return home to dathomir to find the genocide of the nightsisters (with only one nightsister, merrin, remaining) and the nightbrothers in disarray after the loss of the dictatorial government they'd lived under for generations. maul ends up taking over a la mandalore (but with a lot less murder and awfulness. ✨morals✨)

what I'd love to see is maul founding an opposite sort of order to the jedi. not necessarily the sith, since the sith treated him horribly and destroyed his entire life, but i think maul would believe that for the force to truly be in balance, you couldn't try to eradicate an entire half of it from the galaxy. I would love to see maul found an order of dark side force users that teaches about how to use the dark side, how to avoid total corruption, and the correct channels for the power you control.

maul would be a very effective teacher in the dark side because of how much experience he has with it. he experienced the absolute worst of the dark side, the total corruption and loss of self, but he also used the dark side to save the nightbrothers from destroying themselves after the loss of the nightsisters and used his power to keep them together and safe (not to mention the period of time with Batman Maul where he used the dark side to help people).

also I would love to see the new generation of jedi and the new generation of dark side users not to be in opposition for once. by nature of maul being rehabilitated by the jedi, he would teach about them and their teachings with a modicum of respect, and the two orders would be seen as two sides of the same coin. twins, almost.

maul would not be a child snatcher, he was child snatched. the dark side is different from the light in that its always there. it comes much more naturally to force users, and unlike the jedi, it wouldn't require you to join from a ridiculously young age. his order is always known and always open to any force user who wishes to learn about the force.

maul's life comes to an end peacefully, at his home on dathomir, having built a new society for the nightbrothers and a new order for users of the dark side.

[slipperyskell]

Spare mason head canons? Any spare mason head canons for the poor? (This is nuka world blues btw also hi I love your art)

howdy howdy howdy, i have many headcanons for sale

okay so! 

already p well established, but he’s an absolute fucking unit 

Prolly one of the only people who’s taller than Gage (who I hc is like... 6′1″ or so) 

I’m talking like 6′7″ 

300 lbs at least, prolly more tho

he will bend you into a pretzel 

also he’s that healthy kinda muscular where you can tell he’s absolutely fucking ripped but there’s a healthy layer of fat over it like there’s supposed to be 

he ain’t really tech savvy specifically when it comes to computers, but he’s a lot smarter than he lets on when it comes to people 

and weaponry, for that matter

i mean those predator grenades he gives you at the end of the Nuka-World questline (assuming you let the pack live)? He straight up says he was the one who made them after messing around with some tech he found on a couple of Ops’s corpses. Which he killed, I might add 

that being said though, i actually HC he may have come from a vault. which one? I have no idea. But he got real fuckin tired of vault life and headed out as soon as he could before stumbling into the pack. None of em thought he’d be shit at first but they still let him in, and look where he’s at now? 

now to be clear there ain’t any bits of evidence in game of him being a vaultie being the case - this is my own take. Only reason i say it might be is simply considering the fact that so many people would be small and malnourished because of the harsh wastes. Meanwhile, we have Mason (and Cito, though that’s a can of worms in of itself) who’s tall as fuck and built like a brick shit house to boot 

So if you wanna go that route you can but you don’t have to 

ANYWHOOSIES

i like to think he’s the chaotic neutral, airing on evil version of Hancock 

let’s his people do what they want, but he’s in charge, they know that, and will be reminded if they need to be 

speaking of Hancock, his romance (if mason had one >:’) ) would be a chaotic neutral airing on evil version of Hancock’s, too. Puts up that cocky persona so people don’t fuck with him or you, but v much turns into a softy when he’s around you. 

prolly just as if not more horny tho let’s be real

Surprisingly playful, likes to tease - will call you a shithead for fun 

he will give you noogies - it’s going to happen, you’re just gonna have to deal

honestly? I think he’s bi

drinks he respec women juice (honestly the level of misogyny i’ve seen from Mason content, namely fic, is rather alarming since there’s nothing in game even suggesting he’d be that way (aside from him calling Mags a bitch, and that’s when she and her brother riot and take over the power plant if it’s the ops that get fucked over, which imo is justified) 

like there’s literally nothing saying he’d treat em any less and it bugs me just how many people think he’d act that way 

anywhoosies tho

very much the youngest of the bosses tho - i’m talkin like mid to late twenties 

it’s implied in game that he may or may not have actually killed the previous alphas before taking their place (mags mentions she’s looking evidence for it iirc), and while i wouldn’t entirely put it past him to do so, i like to think the tarring and feathering is what did the previous alphas in 

which isn’t a good thing considering you’re specifically not supposed to kill the alphas when challenging them, only strip them of their rank and exile them 

in game his bed is just a pile of pillows by his terminal, which like... valid

but also consider: his bedroom being in a dressing room in the back stage of the amphitheater, separate from everyone else’s. lots of fun string lights, plenty of mirrors so he can look at himself while he’s putting on his face paint for the day, the works 

still has his glorified pile of pillows, but also a hammock that he LOVES napping in if he ain’t got shit to do (which is very rare all things considered). maybe a beanbag chair 

will use rifles n the like if he has to, but he’s much more a fan of shotguns and melee weaponry. 

for some reason this makes me think of the Psychos from Borderlands

perhaps Krieg? 

just... absolutely feral/violent on the battlefield 

ain’t afraid to play dirty if he has to, though normally he ain’t one to let himself get into that position in the first place if he can help it 

doesn’t really fuck with chems or booze, but might have some jet or daytripper if he’s having a REALLY bad day

gotta keep sharp yo 

that being said, he actually ends up being the designated trip sitter half the time during parties n shit 

which the pack has a lot of 

he doesn’t mind, really - but they owe him if it’s a surprise tripsitting 

His voice is a bit raspier than it actually is since he’s gotta pull out the Commanding voice to make sure people and animal alike are put back in line 

which, considering the state the previous alphas left the pack in, he’s gotta do it a lot 

he loves his pack, he really does, but jesus fucking christ 

honestly tho, despite him having to bare his teeth as much as he has to to make sure people are doing what they’re supposed to do, he’s surprisingly hard to actually piss off. 

though if you do piss him off? good luck 

you’re absolutely fucking screwed

hates seafood of all kinds - thinks it tastes gross 

if he HAS to eat it he will ofc, but he will bitch 

much prefers land meats 

namely lamb (if that’s a thing which i assume it is) and radstag. he does love a good gamey taste 

certainly ain’t gonna pass up a bramhin steak, that being said 

definitely works out, be it deliberately or through whatever he’s doing on his day to day 

I’ll prolly have more in the future about mason or the pack in general (or honestly just nuka world shit since my hyperfixation has shifted back to nuka time now) but this is what i got so far 

[lightofthedeep]

who are your favorite top ten black clover characters and ships? talk about them!

Well that’s going to be a long list! I’ll state a simplified list and elaborate in the cut then!

Favorite Characters: 

Leopold Vermillion

Finral Roulacase

Langris Vaude

Yuno

Asta

Rill Boismortier 

Fuegeoleon Vermillion

William Vangeance

Mereoleona Vermillion

Dorothy Unsworth

Favorite Ships:

YunoLeo

AsuNoe / Astelle

YamiChar

Mars/Fana

Rillmy

Nozel/Dorothy

WiriPatri

YamiWiri 

Klaus/Letoile

I have no other ships so I’m going for Finral x Light 

Favorite Characters

Wow my favorite character lists is really not that diverse. Vermillion + Captain supremacy. 

1. Leopold Vermillion

Where to begin with Leo? If you can’t tell by my Black Clover fanart being 80% Leopold, you’d know that I am iN LOVE WITH THIS KID AND HIS CHARACTER. I adore Leopold so much it’s such a shame that he doesn’t get as much screen time as he should because he has so much potential. His fiery, energetic, loud personality just sticks out to me. I could go more in detail but I’ll spare them to make this post shorter.

2. Finral Roulacase

WHERE TO BEGIN WITH FINRAL? I am absolutely in love with this man JAOISJDOAIOEHAO. Finral really resonates with me since I feel a connection with him through his low self-worth and his struggles with being an older sibling. Other than that, I absolutely adore him so much. He’s such a cutie and I love all of his comedic moments and how hard working he is sm. 

3. Langris Vaude

This goes to show how much I just love the space brothers. Langris is such a complex character and I LOVE his relationship with Finral. Of course, a lot of people are really quick to hate on Langris-- and rightfully so. But examining his character, it definitely shows reason (but def not excuses) to why Langris acts the way he does. 

4. Yuno

I just straight up adore Yuno. I love his stoic, cold character and his reasons for it. He could have his comedic moments which is quite hilarious to say the very least. I do wish we would know more about his experiences in the Golden Dawn though since I feel like even though he’s a main character, we hardly know anything about him. But he is just as hardworking as Asta and I love how healthy his rivalry with Asta is.

5. Asta

Asta is what the cool kids call, “the GOAT.” I absolutely love his character and his role as the MC of the series. I think Tabata writes his character really well. I love how he always picks himself back up, despite literally the entire world being against him. I think Asta is very inspirational and hands down one of my favorite shonen protagonists. He is very underrated and it pains me to see him downgraded to someone who screams a lot since he really doesn’t scream that much past the beginning. (I personally found his screaming endearing!)

6. Rill Boismortier

RILL IS MY FAVORITE CAPTAIN AAAAA! HE IS SO CUTE! As an artist, I absolutely adore his magic! I just love everything about him; his carefree attitude, his entire design, his laugh, everything!

7. Fuegeoleon Vermillion

King Vermillion, everyone! I just have a soft spot for the Vermillions. I love how strong Fuego is! He’s such a kind-hearted person with such a strong will! I’m super glad he has Salamander by his side because he deserves it!!!!!!!!!!! Out of everyone, I’m hoping he’ll be the next wizard king. 

8. William Vangeance

You know what’s funny? I didn’t know people actually hated Vangeance until I encountered BC twitter lmao. But I love Vangeance so much. He’s another huge, complex character that people seem to either hate him or love him. His characters throughout the entire series plays such a huge role and I love that. 

9. Mereoleona Vermillion

QUEEN VERMILLION! I just love how she isn’t your typical magic knight and she just does her own thing! She is the epitome of powerful woman and she is hands down, imo, the strongest captain. 

10. Dorothy Unsworth

oH MAN??? GLAMOUR WORLD? ARE YOU KIDDING? Her entire character is phenomenal. From her design, to her magic, to her personality, she just screams perfection. I do wish to know more about her soon, though we got a glimpse of it when she was talking to Noelle about Megicula!

Favorite Ships

If I’m being honest, I really only have a top 3? But the only ship I’m actually passionate about is yunoleo so--

1. YunoLeo

If you’re new to my account, you’d definitely find this ship to be a surprise. It actually wasn’t a ship I thought about until my friend Himae and I were joking talking about Yuno and Leo and then went “holy shit wait---” The relationship of YunoLeo is all about POTENTIAL since the two have not interacted much in canon. But, I can’t stress enough how perfect I think Yuno and Leo would be together. They would definitely go into the “rivals-to-lovers” and “opposites attract” tropes. Not to mention, my personal headcanon for both of them is that they’re both gay.  I believe if Tabata were to allow Yuno and Leopold to interact more, it would definitely show the potential they would have together. I could elaborate more in detail but I think this post would be way too long. 

2. AsuNoe / Astelle

Out of everyone in the “Asta harem,” I tend to like AsuNoe more, surprisingly. I feel like I’m not quite used to shipping the main MCs together, let alone the MC with the tsundere female MC. However, I have a soft spot for Noelle. I feel like if her character wasn’t super revolved around her crush on Asta, they’d definitely flow better. I like how they interact. It’s quite obvious that Asta does care about Noelle as much as she does. But, as oblivious as Asta is, I don’t think they’ll get together anything soon LOL. I’m not super passionate about AsuNoe, but I do like them the most out of all the potential Asta ships. From them being teammates, there’s a lot of build-up that can occur, not to mention the huge canon influence.

3. YamiChar

Charlotte’s crush on Yami is the cutest thing ever. I just love the dynamic between her and Yami; Yami being oblivious to her feelings, but thinking Charlotte secretly hates him since she avoids him but Charlotte avoiding him because she’s actually super nervous. I don’t think that Yami has a romantic interest towards Charlotte in canon at the moment, but I do think he does like her. 

4. Mars/Fana

Pretty much canon, I don’t really have much to say about them aside from the fact that I hope they get married already!

5. Rillmy

OKAY RILLMY IS JUST SO CUTE. I definitely adore the idea of the two of them together! Their characters flow really well together and I really think they have potential! Maybe they’ll get more scenes together from this arc? I hope so!

6. Nozel/Dorothy

This ship is really cute to! Though we don’t actually see them interact in canon, the fact that Nozel and Dorothy seem to talk to each other a lot and Nozel being able to confide in Dorothy makes me go ohohoho.

7. WiriPatri

LITERAL SOULMATES. The fact that they were finally able to see one another makes my heart soar. The scene where Patri slowly falls against Vangeance’s shoulder as Vangeance holds him aaaAAAAAA FUCK. TOO GOOD. 

8. YamiWiri

Such a good “rivals-to-lovers” ship. They work so well together and they have SUCH a good, strong relationship. 

9. Klaus/Letoile

Okay listen, I ship them based off of purely aesthetics but like.... hello? Very good. They were in panels together in the manga! That’s enough canon validation for me LMAO.

10. Finral x Light 

canon. amazing. spectacular. all based off on the fact that i am in love with finral roulacase. 

[sugarandspice-games]

Spicy take time (costarring Sugar): The Bros rated by how well I think their arcs/character development/relationship with MC was written and how much it makes sense. (Disclaimer: Our affection for these characters and how interesting, compelling, and lovable we find them has ZERO bearing on this list. ALSO, beware, here there be salt, IE, this is critical of the writing. It’s also long as fuck, so if you just wanna skim and read the bold parts, that’s okay too. You are also free to disagree with us as this is just an opinion, and keep in mind that we have only read to chapter 24 so if there are elements of the story we are unaware of... please be understanding of that and don’t spoil it.) Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Starting at the top is BEST BOI IMO: Beelzebub. So, yeah, in terms of character development and growth, he really doesn’t change all that much, aside from starting off not trusting MC to slowly opening up to them about his trauma. But putting that to the side, his relationship with them makes the most sense. After sharing a bedroom and helping him open up, as well as having the mutual goal of protecting Luke, and then even later going on to save his beloved little brother, it follows that he absolutely adores you afterward. Also, he doesn’t start off disliking you like some of the others. So, all around, he makes the most sense. He’s also one of the deeper characters with his backstory, even if I wish they’d give him other flaws than just being hongry (and playing his unhealthy eating habits/coping mechanism as a joke. Disordered eating should be taken more seriously, especially binge eating but that’s a can of worms for another day)

2) Second best is probably going to shock you, but Satan takes this spot. Why? Well, strictly in terms of arc progression, his relationship with MC starting out as one of manipulation and growing into something more genuine when they go on a heartwarming and wacky adventure together with his hated older brother which causes him to open up makes a lot of sense, at least more so than some of the others. While I wish they gave him more meat characterization wise, I think his arc was pretty well done in terms of story structure.

Okay, so, Sugar here. While I agree with Spice that Satan could use some more meat (and that we should be able to have some more information on Baby Satan because we all need that in our lives), I think that the progression of him and LUCI’S bond (not MC’s) could have done with more subtlety. While I appreciate him softening up, and see that progress, we don’t really get to see the tension of the newfound change and how he settles into letting things go/mellow out and I get it-- it’s a dating sim and the secondary relationships are well, secondary, but it would be interesting to see him and MC bond more through time.

3) Third place probably won’t be all that shocking, because this is where I’m placing Lucifer. He’s arguably one of the characters in the series who’s gotten the most love from the writers, having the most screentime, the most affectionate scenes with MC, and the most fleshed out backstory and characterization as well as fleshed out relationships with each of the characters. His relationship progression with MC also takes a nice, even pace, with him slowly learning to trust them and respect them, culminating in an almost-confession (I THINK. Unless I’m reading that part wrong) and then being shattered at MC’s betrayal, and then earned back in true Pixar-movie fashion by them teaming up for a common goal. HOWEVER. And this is a big however. I would love to see his unhealthy tendencies addressed and NOT fetishized. (Don’t come at me with that “BUT THEY’RE DEMONS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVILLLLL” dude. If a demon being in a healthy relationship is where you draw the line in terms of believability, then why are you playing a fantasy demon dating sim anyway?) I love him, I stan him, I simp for him, but I wish he had at least apologized for his not-subtle threats of physical violence toward MC rather than jumping straight into the ALSO kinda violent “You’re mine and nobody else’s” gimmick.

Unlike some men (SPICE), I am actually not a Luci stan and while I do have a soft spot, and understanding of his place as an eldest sibling... I would also like to see the writer’s unravel the unhealthiness/coping Lucifer has in place and why/how it came to be. I feel like we get a sense that Luci has thawed since coming to the Devildom but we don’t really see how Lucifer in the Celestial Realm (and how his friendship with Simeon) has progressed. Luci has a lot of love from the writers but from a story stand-point, he is never really allowed to be weak and own up to his own flaws and how that has impacted/hurt MC.

4) Sharing fourth place is Leviathan and Mammon! I’m putting them in the same spot because the issues I have with them are the same, though I plan on addressing their good points individually. But since my beef is simpler, I’m going to start off with the bad. IMO, a good rivals to friends to lovers romance happens in STEPS. You start off from not getting along, to then finding some things in common, and gradually coming to respect each other, and then like each other, and finally love each other. This... doesn’t really happen with these two, and while we see the change from both tsundere boys starting off disliking you and eventually coming to love you, we don’t really get that inbetween that makes the payoff so much worth it. And if those inbetweens are there, the story doesn’t really tell us that, and it doesn’t show us their thought processes. Like, how much would it suck if in pokemon, your charmander evolved immediately into Charizard upon beating your first few gyms? It’s like that.

But as for the good, Levi’s arc makes sense because you’re the first person to really let him be himself and not shame him for the things he loves. You let him ramble about his interests and show interest in them yourself (AT LEAST IF YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING MONSTER. I’ll let Sugar talk more on him, that’s their boy.)

Whoo, boy. Here we go! For whatever reason, the otaku became my favorite and I love him, but as far as arcs go... He could have gotten a bit more screentime and progress. It makes sense that he would become attached to MC as his brothers are very, very... critical and patronizing about his interests. He is also by far the most skittish and introverted of the bunch, coupled with his sin and seeing all the ways he falls short (in his eyes) is a recipe for loneliness and desire for companionship/friendship. While I am not happy with the progression, for me, it makes sense and I would also have loved to see some breaking/softening of how much his Sin influences him when it comes to MC. I’m not saying erase it because demons are meant to give in to temptation but some reassurance and acceptance of that would be good.

(I also know that there is some disk horse about him guilt-tripping you about spending time with his brothers and while I agree it can be hard... It definitely isn’t on a painful level. Like, say... Ray’s in Jihyun’s route in Mystic Messenger. This also is a difference for players who are interested in one love route versus the many route and different strokes, but I digress.)

As far as Mammon goes, well, you’re his first. And he’s not only glad that there’s someone who’s kind to him instead of making fun of him, but also takes pride in having someone to protect. His puppy crush going to full blown love is adorable.

This blog is all about spicy takes, yeah? Well, here’s mine (Sugar): Mammon is lovable but not as lovable as he could be and before all the Mammon stans, come for me- let it be known I like Mammon but his introduction and how he comes to be soft is NOT an easy, or believable transition. There are ways to write a good tsundere and the writers just missed the mark by having Mammon be too callous and then slipping to lovable without that sweet slide into the other end. I will not deny he is very cute, and a good character, and a good brother (and also the most human, according to Satan’s home screen interaction) but... The progression and endearment factor is lacking because of the structure of the narrative.

5) Is another unsurprising one, but this spot is Belphegor’s. Solmare. My dude. Why did you do this. We could have had it ALL. It could have been great. But you screwed the pooch. You took anything good about this relationship out behind the shed and shot it like a lame horse. Let it be known that I LIKED Belphie and MC’s alliance to get him out of gay baby jail, and I adored that love he still holds for Beel... I thought he was going to be a fav of mine, in fact. But how they handled the... uhm... murder ruined it for me. I’m sorry, I just cannot believe that I’m supposed to suddenly be besties with the man who manipulated me and crushed me to death like, a week after it happened. What if I have PTSD from that??? Also... he claims that he loves MC for who they are and not because of Lilith, but that’s not believable when his whole turning point is finding out that they’re Lilith’s descendant. The change needed to be more gradual, and having a subtle, gradual forgiveness arc would have been AWESOME but we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU!!!!!

Annnd... Belphie is actually one of my favorites FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T KNOW MAN. I agree that we could have had it and I’m like (Insert Hades red flaming hair gif here). The decision to not have a redemption arc ruined it for me and while I love Belphie and his softness/brattiness mixture with handling MC... It is underscored by a lack of believable affection and the payoff of struggle on both Belphie’s part and MC’s. Also, there is a lot of ‘You are not who I want you to be, but it’s good enough’ with MC regarding their lineage and connections to the brothers and how that plays out/color the relationships with maybe the exception of Satan and surprisingly, Mammon that irks me but again, another thought for another time.

6) Aaaaand last and also the least... Asmodeus. “YOU GET NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR.” --Solmare to Asmo. The writers neglected him SO much, I like him but what the hell are they doing? There’s so much that could be explored here, and with anything involving Asmo they’re like “I do not see it”. His love for MC also isn’t really that believable when his turning point is realizing that they’re powerful. It doesn’t even fit with any of his potential conflicts. The Diavolo’s castle arc set us up to think that Asmo would have some deep seated insecurities with not being able to be loved or desired by everyone, or maybe some insecurities about not being an angel anymore, or some vulnerability issues or something, and they were just like NOPE. It doesn’t make any gotdamn sense! I just... Grrr. Asmo, I’m so sorry, sweetie. You deserve better.

Asmodeus definitely deserves better and I will stand by that until the day I stop playing this damn game. While I, personally, think that his intrigue with MC makes sense (because he is lusty-- probably not just for sex but in general), it makes sense he would want someone with power but while the set up is there, his character falls flat because there is no bonding moment, or turning point for him at all. His affection for MC is still that playful, carefree, flirty persona he carries and I would love to see it dropped and how his fall from the Celestial Realm really weighs on him and an arc where he and MC talk about vulnerability and the power behind being seen as someone attractive and the way it dehumanizes you at the same time. It could be good-- hell, it could be great-- but it was killed before it started and I will never not think that Asmo could have had some KILLER growth. As it stands, he has more connection/romantic potential with Solomon than MC.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Feel free to yell at us in the replies, you know you want to. If this post blows up enough, maybe we can rate the undatables (though they don’t have any story arcs so... that would be a challenge.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

[whelvenwings]

So I just saw that post on laziness that you reblogged and I was wondering what your thoughts are on laziness vs procrastination? Because I'm going through a particularly bad round of procrastination, but I don't feel like it's borne out of laziness (which to me, is more of "I don't feel like doing this immediately but I will do it soon"). Whereas procrastination is constantly postponing something but never being able to convince my brain to actually do the task (also any tips on tackling this?)

Hello anon!! Yes hello good hi. first of all, ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time with procrastination lately. it’s rough and I hope it eases up for you.

hmmmm yes, so, laziness and procrastination. WELL. hmm. OKAY. these thoughts might be a bit all over the place, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I ramble on a bit. or a lot. probably a lot! I have a lot of thoughts about it all.

so I think I’d start off by saying that I kind of don’t believe in laziness. 

it’s like... for me, laziness is... chronically choosing not to do something that you know you should do, even though that thing is entirely doable for you. that is to say, you have the time for a task, the skills for it, and the ability to motivate yourself to do it - but you regularly choose not to do it.

the key element here is choice. for me, laziness implies not just that a task isn’t done - it implies you could’ve done it, and then you chose not to. but to be able to choose not to do something, that thing has to be completely possible in the first place, right? we wouldn’t say we choose not to fly, we say that we can’t do it, it’s not possible for us. every day that I walk around instead of flying, I’m not being lazy, I’m just not doing something that’s outside my capability. very often (I’d argue always) when we regularly don’t do something, it’s because we cannot do it. it’s not a choice not to do it, because there’s something going on that makes the task impossible in our status quo. I think our ideas about what we can and can’t do, and how serious a barrier it is to not be able to motivate ourselves, are often really skewed by comparison with others. if I lived in a world populated only by birds, maybe I’d think I was procrastinating on flying.

the thing that briefly breaks me out of a procrastination loop is usually panic at the promise of Bad Consequences, i.e. my brain is finally convinced of the importance of the task, but this is a quick one-off fix that doesn’t help the chronic issue, so next time I have to do the same task I’ll follow the same pattern of putting it off until Total Panic Time. and at a certain point, even the Bad Consequences just aren’t enough motivation, and I simply can’t do the task. often I am in distress at not being able to do the task. just as often, the distress is a contributing factor in the task not getting done for longer.

the issue that makes the task not doable for me tends to vary a lot depending on the situation. and I think a lot of people have it the same way, where different issues crop up with different tasks.

- so like sometimes it’s a Success Elsewhere issue. you just can’t believe you can actually decently do the thing you have to do, so you go work at something else that you think you can succeed at. “lazy” to me implies a lack of effort, right? and yet with this one, the things that you do instead of homework or chores or whatever, they often take plenty of effort. like you’re kicking ass at video games, pouring hours into it, because the game makes you feel like you really could be the best!! it’s worth the effort because you get rewards! you’re working, just not at the thing you Should be doing, because you can’t believe working on that thing will lead to any reward/success.

- sometimes it’s a Why Does It Matter issue. sometimes you just aren’t convinced enough that the reward of doing a task is worth the work it’ll take, because you can clearly see that the world is in crisis and it’s exceptionally hard to believe that, say, homework matters when everything feels like it’s on fire.

- sometimes it’s a Fuck You Anyway issue. a lot of people feel alienated by the society we live in, the same society that says hey, you have to do homework, you have to succeed at university, you have to get these grades, you have to be polite, you can’t get angry, you have to respond to emails, you have to do this specific kind of job to make good money or else you won’t have enough. when an authority you don’t trust/a system that is clearly broken tries to shove you into doing something, sometimes you don’t want to bloody do it, you know? sometimes you don’t want to do the small tasks that build up into following a path you don’t believe in.

- sometimes it’s a The World Has Swept Me This Far, What, Are You Saying I Have to Do Things for Myself Now issue. between parents and teachers and societal expectations, a person can go surprisingly far in this world just kind of keeping to the course that other people decide for them. but the map always has edges, right? eventually people stop having a plan for you and you’re quite suddenly expected to know exactly what to do with yourself, and just become a success with the opportunities you’ve been given, but you have no clue whatsoever how to do that. doing nothing in this instance isn’t laziness, it’s not that you want to sit and stagnate - it’s just that you’re doing exactly what you’ve always done: what you’re being guided to do. the only difference is that now you’re not being guided to do anything, so you don’t do anything. you have no idea how to flex the muscles of personal choice; you don’t even know if you have them.

- sometimes it’s a Distraction issue. again, for a huge amount of people, the world is pretty garbage right now. and sometimes you’re clinging on via the happy hormone hit you get when you do something fun, so doing something hard/boring feels like it would push you too far. or sometimes the hard/boring task doesn’t absorb enough of your attention, leaving way too much space for your brain to talk to itself and spiral out of control with bad thoughts and feelings, which it won’t do if you’re watching videos or scrolling on your phone or hanging out with friends etc. given how tailored our brain hormones naturally are to finding the shortest path to happiness, and how relatively easy it is in our culture to find short-term happiness via the internet, I don’t find it surprising that a lot of people just literally cannot engage with doing difficult, boring tasks when there’s a small burst of happiness just one tap away. 

- sometimes it’s an Energy issue. bad mental health is a motivation killer. battling depression or anxiety or another mental health issue just leeches away your reserves for other things. you don’t have the spoons for doing a task, but people with more spoons will look at you not doing it and call you lazy - because for them, the task is doable, and they don’t get that for you it is not.

UGH MAN there’s so much more to it than just these separate scenarios, they all interweave and there are loads more of them, and I want to talk about how being neurodivergent affects these things and how being queer affects it too imo, but I feel like I could go on and on forever so I’ll leave it at that. my point is, I think both procrastination and so-called laziness start when for some reason, a task isn’t doable for you. so the key is figuring out why the task isn’t doable, and changing something, and then hopefully being able to chug away at it!

some things that have helped me are:

- getting little bits of help - when my mum and I hang out, she’ll sometimes just sit and chat to me while I clean around her because it’s doable for me while she’s there. collaboration can ease a lot of procrastination woes for me.

- instead of telling myself “I have to do this”, I tell myself “I deserve to have this done”. so like, instead of “I have to clean the bathroom”, it’s “I deserve to live in a clean house”. instead of “I have to do this essay for homework”, it should have been “I deserve to be able to show the skills I have, and get help from my teachers in the places where I have holes in my understanding”. it’s just like, less focus on the dumb task and more focus on the goal that I’ll achieve by doing the task, with a healthy dose of self-validation on the side.

- if the problem’s really chronic and affecting your life in a pretty major way, maybe it’s time to look into whether there’s an underlying issue with the way your brain focuses? I’m autistic, and I have friends with ADHD, and the way our brains focus/don’t focus on things can be hard to manage at times - but understanding what’s going on inside the old brainspace and reading about how other people handle the same things can be a really good way to start breaking the cycle of procrastination.