#for me while I find all my obsessions embarrassing to a degree

[repurposedmeatlocker]

What is the cringiest fandom you’ve ever partaken in for a good extended period of time?

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Extracurriculars (S.R.)

Summary: Reader saves her TA from a frathouse.

Request: gradstudent!Spencer getting dragged to a frat party and hooking up with a girl in her undergrad (someone he's been interested in) A/N: Who wouldn’t want to deflower sweet Spencer? Characters are both around 21. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Virgin!Spencer, frat house, college party, alcohol, drunken sexual activity, heavy petting, kissing, making out, loss of virginity (male) penetrative sex, protected sex (condom), TA/Student relationship Word Count: 5k

MASTERLIST

When I was younger, my mother taught me a few key lessons about growing up. She had to teach me those things because, while they seemed to come naturally to other kids, they never came to me.

It seemed fundamentally unfair that I could do the quadratic formula before I could tie my shoes. Of course, with that, I could just insist I preferred Velcro. My inability to recognize the socially acceptable way to care for my body, or even recognize the signals it was sending to me, was a little harder to explain. It was even harder to calibrate.

By the time I reached college, I became obsessed with cleanliness to an unhealthy degree. I would avoid any situations where I could find myself fixated on dirt beneath my fingernails or anything that could be even tangentially described as ‘sticky.’

I was petrified of being perceived as anything but pure. I had been that way for long enough that it had basically become my defining character trait.

And then, on one very lonely and poorly planned night in grad school, I decided to challenge the idea that I could only be one thing.

That night, I went to a frat house.

Between the pulsing speakers that measured up to my hips and the remnants of discarded beer bottles, I realized that I had made a number of miscalculations—the kind that my mother had most certainly not prepared me for.

“Come on, man, live a little!” the student beside me shouted over impossibly loud music.

I hadn’t the slightest clue what he was asking me to do, but I could tell from the taunt that my answer would be the same regardless:

“N-No thanks.”

I looked down at the glass bottle still dripping beer from its lip. My stomach churned at the sight. I was so distracted by the thought of spit coating the finish that I had failed to connect the dots to realize that the group was planning to play the aptly named game ‘spin the bottle.’

That was, until the older but somehow less mature man to my side jeered, “Why not? Have you never kissed a girl before?”

My cheeks burned with some mixture of embarrassment and rage. I’d hoped that they would confuse it for drunkenness, if they’d thought about it at all.

I wanted to open my mouth to defend my decision without sounding pathetic, but my lips stayed tightly shut.

Then, just a second before the pause became awkward, a second voice chimed in.

“Piss off, idiot.”

I heard her right before I felt her. Her arm slung around my neck brought with it the comforting scent of jasmine and vanilla. Her heated skin somehow stayed warm but never sticky, and my body quickly corrected its instinct to move closer to her.

She’s my student, I reminded myself.

My favorite student, though.

Although the feeling was shared by the man she was speaking to, he wasn’t so clear about it. He seemed almost sarcastic when he shouted, “Whoa! Careful there (y/n), you might make me think you like me.”

By contrast, she was outright in her apathy when she droned, “No one likes you.”

“Ouch,” he replied with a hand clutching his chest, “You wound me.”

I’d half expected her to respond to him in kind. My mind ran a million confusing calculations to try to determine whether this was just harmless flirting or actual annoyance. All I knew for certain was that my chest burned with jealousy that dissipated within a second of her speaking again.

“Hey cutie, which of these jackasses brought you here?” she asked so sweetly I could taste sugar on my tongue as I tried to answer.

“Huh? Oh, u-uh. No… jackasses.”

Smooth as the cheap liquor we’re drinking.

“Yeah, right,” she chuckled in disbelief before explaining, “That’s all that’s here besides you.”

… Besides me?

“You wanna leave?”

My heart stopped at the mere thought. For a moment, I convinced myself that I had fantasized the question. Perhaps someone had slipped something into my drink that had turned me into a blubbering fool. Perhaps it was something more nefarious.

She wouldn’t.

Wouldn’t what?

“What?” I asked.

Before she could clarify, the now very unwelcome third presence chimed in, “He just got here! Let him stay.”

I watched as she bristled in response. Her fingernails dug slightly into my shoulder and she pulled me closer.

It must have been instinct. There was no way she could have meant it on purpose.

It felt nice, though, to be closer to her.

“I also just got here, and yet, I want to leave,” she sneered.

When he made a motion to touch her shoulder the same way she’d been touching mine, she jumped back with a stern warning.

“Touch me and lose at least one testicle.”

He put his hands up in surrender. She scoffed. Her hand dropped from my shoulder, but I never had time to miss her. She took my hand so quickly that I didn’t have time to think about my response. So, I held hers back.

My heart had finally made up its mind before she spoke.

“Come on, sweetheart. We’re leaving,” she ordered.

I followed.

“W-Where are we going?”

She shrugged.

“I don’t know. Somewhere else.”

She turned to look at me with the utmost skepticism, or, dare I say it, fascination with what she found.

“You have somewhere to be?” she asked.

“Um… no?”

I prayed it had been the right answer.

It was.

“Wanna come back to my place?” she offered with a smile, “It’s not far from here.”

She’d said it so casually that I couldn’t help but feel I’d missed something. Surely, she couldn’t be offering the normal incidental activities typically involved with accompanying someone ‘back to their place.’

I had been so certain of it that I’d even possessed the courage to ask.

“Uh… to do… what?”

She laughed. It wasn’t a painful sound; it was kind and airy. The music of her laughter lined the increasingly quiet streets as the music faded away in the background.

“You’re cute,” she hummed. Then, with a wicked smirk, she purred, “You got something in mind?”

My face filled with what felt like half the blood in my body. The rest went to another, somehow even more embarrassing aspect of my anatomy.

She didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed emboldened and excited by how smitten I seemed. It all felt so idyllic that I didn’t even question when she’d taken my hand in hers again.

“Come on, cutie,” she instructed.

My heart quivered at the compliment. I didn’t even try to convince myself that it had been uttered with condescension or sarcasm. I enjoyed, even just for a moment, the idea that I might be seen as something desirable to her.

I had many reasons not to trust women like her. I had been burned in the past, with ropes and blindfolds that still felt paralyzing. But in that moment, those cruel memories felt worlds away.

She had just seemed so… calm. So happy to flaunt our intertwined fingers no matter how many familiar faces we passed.

“What were you doing in a place like that, anyway?” she asked.

I laughed before I thought not to.

“Did I seem that uncomfortable?”

“Weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I was.”

The admission didn’t seem as humiliating as I’d expected it to. The girl swaying closer with each step seemed pleased at the answer. I realized that she might’ve carried her own concern that perhaps she had overstepped bounds by assuming she was doing me a favor.

“Thanks for saving me,” I reassured her.

“Please,” she sighed, “I was looking for a reason to leave.”

It was a genuine, if not puzzling statement. Although I’d failed to realize in the moment, I would come to learn that we had both arrived at the party with the exact same motivations.

“Why’d you go then?” I asked.

The glitter on her face paled in comparison to her eyes among the streetlights. While she stared at me, I lost myself in the mesmerizing cascade of fluttering incandescence among the backdrop of her irises.

It was not the alcohol in my veins that made my cheeks tinge pink. It was not the bitter heat of the drought, nor the fear of whatever was making my shoes stick to cement.

It was the sound of her sigh and the way she looked at me like I might know the solution to the problem that landed us there together.

“Hell if I know,” she laughed solemnly. “Lonely, I guess.”

That makes two of us, I wanted to say. But it could be zero. If you wanted it to.

I wasn’t drunk enough to say that, though. Just enough to not stop the seemingly rude question from slipping out.

“Do any of those people actually… like each other?”

“Definitely not,” she laughed again.

I wanted to hear it again, but I didn’t know how to make sure of that.

So, instead, I just smiled and said, “Noted.”

By some miracle, she giggled again. Once she finished, she turned to look at me. At first, I met her eyes, but the intensity caused a shiver to spark throughout my entire body. Goosebumps rippled as my heart struggled to make sense of the feelings her eyes stirred inside me.

She laughed again. I wouldn’t care if it was the hundredth time. I savored the sweet sound in each of its iterations.

With her bitten lip and her half-lidded eyes, she swayed closer to me until our bodies bumped. I wondered if she could feel the way I shivered in response.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re cute,” she answered.

It was such a strange thing for her to repeat that the insecurity riding the waves of alcohol bubbled over again.

“You aren’t drunk, right?”

Again, she laughed.

Again, I begged.

“No, silly! I know my limits.”

She certainly hadn’t been shy with sharing the lack of them, either. Her arm wrapped around mine and pulled me even closer. It took every bit of focus I could muster not to trip and bring an end to the most wonderful waking dream.

Of course, that focus vanished almost immediately once I realized what part of her anatomy was now pressed against my arm.

So soft and warm and—

“Why are you worried about it, anyway?” she hummed.

At the same time, she dipped her head down to force me to meet her eyes instead of staring at her chest. Somehow, that wasn’t the most humiliating part of the exchange. No, that honor was reserved for the question that followed.

“Are you sure you don’t have any extracurriculars in mind for when we get to my place?”

“I was just making sure!” I yelped in the most pathetic kind of defense. It took me a moment and her own wayward glances down my body to realize that the tease hadn’t been an accusation.

If anything, it felt more like an offer.

Pride and confusion swelled in my chest. In the chaos, a few words tumbled out of my mouth that I hadn’t pre-prepared.

“I-I mean, you keep calling me cute, so… Sounds like something a drunk girl would say,” I laughed.

She didn’t, though. Instead, she came to a sudden stop and her lips curled into a slightly unnerving curvature. A hungry, stomach turning desire for… something.

Me?

It couldn’t be.

I stopped, too, holding my breath and waiting for some permission or instruction to do anything but wait. Thankfully, she turned and climbed the stairs of what I could now safely assume was her porch.

She threw the door open without further fanfare but a little bit of a tease.

“Get inside, idiot,” she laughed.

I followed her instruction. Of course, I paused at the door and waited for her to show me the way. I nearly passed out when she intertwined our fingers once more and led me through the darkness of her otherwise unoccupied apartment.

My training to hopefully get into the FBI would have had me carefully inspecting her surroundings to learn more about this tantalizing woman. It wouldn’t have been a bad idea, but I knew there was no way I could focus on anything other than how it felt when she looked at me.

Especially then. Together in the light polluted darkness, she didn’t stray too far. Even when she reached behind me to shut the door to her room, she lingered.

I stumbled backwards, not in fear, but as a horrible overcorrection to what I wanted to do.

To my surprise, it didn’t dissuade her.

In fact, she came even closer. She stepped forward until her chest was pressed against mine and her breath ghosted over my ear.

“Was he right, by the way?”

“Who?”

She let go of my hand and began trailing her fingers softly up my arm until I honestly couldn’t see straight anymore.

I wanted her so badly. Almost on cue, she splayed her hand across my lower back and held my hips against hers.

Again, I whimpered. Again, she giggled.

Her hips rolled forward against my now very prominent erection wedged between us. Just before she spoke, she took a sharp inhale that was released with a shaky breath.

“Have you ever kissed a girl before?” she asked.

I couldn’t even think to speak, let alone lie.

I shook my head no. Her free hand immediately tangled in my hair, tilting my head to the side just to see whether I would resist.

I didn’t.

“Do you want to?” she asked.

That time, I had to say something. I was too afraid the moment would slip away.

“Um… are you… asking me to kiss you?”

Immediately, she returned the question with a question.

“Are you telling me no?”

“No!”

Her hand in my hair held me steady while she retreated. The room felt hopelessly cold without her body heat.

“No, no, I’m not telling you no,” I babbled while she looked on with that same wicked smile. “As in, I think my answer is… yes?”

Before I could resort to begging, she closed the distance between us. Her hands held my cheeks and pulled me forward until our lips crashed together.

I knew my kissing her was clumsy and naive, but I couldn’t help it. The moment I tasted faded fruit flavored chapstick, my mind gave up on any hope for reason.

Just when I thought she was done with me, she kissed me again. She kept kissing me—the action becoming sloppier and sweeter with every passing second.

Her hands dropped to grip fistfuls of my shirt at the same time mine jumped to cup her face.

She was so soft. The pillowy feeling of her lips made me forget how much I normally hated stickiness on my skin. Because I loved how it felt when her lips lingered.

I would’ve kissed her for hours, forever, but she ended that hope with a firm tug of my shirt before she tossed me towards her bed.

My heart leapt into my throat. It lodged itself just behind the Adam’s apple like it could hide its blatant affection from her somehow.

She stalked closer like she had before. She drew feathery patterns up my goosebump riddled arms before she whispered in my ear.

“You’re fun to kiss.”

“I-Is it bad?” I stammered, for some reason.

“No, it’s fun,” she repeated.

She didn’t dwell for a second on my insecurity and momentary idiocy. Instead, she began lowering her fingers down my stomach and giggling as she felt the muscles tense.

“You wanna do something more fun, Spencer?”

Completely lacking any oxygen, I breathed, “Like what?”

“You’re a genius, right?”

Just like that, she firmly grabbed hold of me through my pants. I responded with a broken, strangled cry that fell away the moment she started to drum her fingers against the burning fabric. 

“Do I need to say it?” she teased.

Her tongue peeked out between her teeth when she pulled back to look at me. At the same time, she began palming my erection with such familiarity that I nearly fell apart in her hand.

“Fuck,” I groaned involuntarily.

“Never heard you talk like that before,” she whispered, “Hope it’s a nice word.”

Euphoria flooded my senses that were dangerously heightened by the alcohol I’d consumed to make it through the party. Not enough to be inebriated, but enough to make me stupid.

Even more stupid than I was already made by the blood pooling in the appendage fighting against my pants.

“Fuck, please don’t stop,” I gasped. My hips started bucking against her, and for a moment, I thought she would grant me mercy.

But then her hand slowed to a stop.

“Gonna have to stop if you want to get to the fun part,” she cooed.

Half-joking, I slurred back, “Is this not the fun part?”

Then the world came to a standstill, the universe pausing its incessant tumbling to allow me to hear her next words with a crystal-like clarity.

“Do you want to fuck me, Spencer?”

I nodded without hesitation or shame.

“Use your pretty voice,” she chastised so kindly it made my heart ache.

“Yes,” I pleaded. “Yes, I want to f-fuck you.”

She smiled and it didn’t feel like a mockery, somehow.

“Good,” she chirped. Then, without hesitation, she began steadfastly undoing my pants.

She seemed so skilled at the movements that I doubted whether she’d had any alcohol at all.

I’d been so caught up in the wonder of her that every ounce of fight left my body. I let her undress me and barely managed to help in my stupor.

She still didn’t mind. The smile on her face persisted the entire time.

“Lay down,” she commanded.

I followed. I scrambled back onto her bed without ever taking my eyes off her.

She moved so elegantly, so graceful as she stripped and presented me with the most beautiful sight. My heart was pounding so hard against my rib cage that I was worried it might break free to find her.

Yet when she finally crawled on top of me, my body tried to sink into the mattress. As if to stop me, she wrapped her devilishly warm fingers around my dick.

Still, I’d managed to squeak, “Aren’t you worried that we’re… moving a little fast?”

“Are you worried?” she shot back without judgement.

My mind was caught in two types of fog, however. I tried to breathe through it, tried to think of anything besides how nice it felt when her fingers ghosted over the bare tip, but I couldn’t.

“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” I laughed again, the words getting caught on soft moans still pouring from my mouth.

“You tell me,” she dared.

Then she kissed me. This time, she didn’t stop at my lips. Her lithe tongue slipped between my teeth and nearly wrapped around my own.

The muffled sounds of pleasure between us were getting harder to bear. That energy, the pent up frustration of almost a full year of wanting her had to come out somehow.

I grabbed her hips harder than I thought I was capable of. My nails dug into soft flesh and it caused her to make the most beautiful sound.

That beautiful girl gasped before she moaned against my cheek. Her hips dug harder into my lap, bucking against the hardness wedged between her thighs.

I dragged my nails down her legs, surprising us both at how much I loved to watch her writhe.

Still, I knew she was the one in control. She looked down at me like a toy that played perfectly along with her fantasies.

I wanted to let her have her way with me. But when she leaned over my body, I couldn’t stop myself. My lips caught her breast the moment she came close enough.

My hands were gentler there, palming at the supple tissue that slipped between my fingers. I lavished the hardened peak at the center for as long as she would let me, suckling at her breast like a man starved.

Eventually, though, she wound a hand through my hair and pulled me back against the pillow.

In my daze, I hardly noticed the condom in her hand until she rolled the latex over my dick.

Suddenly, and without thinking, I sputtered out a confounding command.

“Wait!”

She froze. Her flushed chest heaved, still glistening with evidence of my affection.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice filled with the most genuine concern.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine, I just…” I tried to assure her and myself.

The poor girl looked horrified, like she was waiting for me to condemn her for her absolutely delightful enthusiasm up to this point.

It was such a silly worry that it almost made me laugh. It almost made the vulnerability that would follow feel like no risk at all.

“I need to tell you something first,” I explained.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at her. I really looked at her—that dazzling star of a girl. My student, my favorite student that I’d watched and lusted over in every class. My mind simmered with that feeling; the knowing that the thing I coveted most might actually be mine.

“I… like you,” I said.

Less eloquent than I’d hoped.

If her bubbly, wholehearted laugh was any indication, she still didn’t mind.

“Well, I’d sure hope so!” she snickered.

I felt compelled to explain.

“No, I mean, I’ve liked you for a while now. Like, I really like you,” I insisted.

That time when she kissed me, it felt like her own confession. Scooting forward until her heat was pressed against my own, she sighed happily against my lips.

“You’re so sweet, Spencer,” she hummed, “I really like-like you, too.”

Even though my mind tried to deny it, my foolhardy heart recognized the truth in her words. It clung to her the same as my hands drifting over the new marks on her thighs.

“But we don’t have to do this,” she assured me. “Do you want to do this, or do you want to stop?”

“I want you so bad,” I whined without any hesitation. “Please, please—I want you.”

That cruel twist of her lips returned. The sound of my begging urged her on until she lifted herself just above where I wanted her. She leaned forward again, propping herself up above me while her hair tickled my face.

“Kiss me,” she slurred against my lips.

I did. I kissed her even more feverishly than before and used all the air in my chest to worship her.

I was convinced my lungs would collapse when she finally started to ease her way onto my aching cock. Each second of tortuous pleasure, the scorching heat of her enveloping me like flames kissing desiccated wood.

My jaw was dropped open, my mouth losing all moisture as I panted and twitched with pleasure. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I saw her. I watched as she winced at how far her walls had to stretch around me.

Yet I felt her desire dripping at the base of me, glistening the same as my spit spread across her breast.

“That’s it, baby,” she purred as she settled at the base of me.

I looked down at where I’d disappeared inside of her and decided it was better than any magic trick I’d ever hoped to master.

“Does that feel good?” she whispered when she saw the wonder in my eyes.

Involuntarily, my hips bucked into her and made her gasp. Then, still without meaning to, I did it again.

“Yes,” I hissed when she tightened her walls around me.

“My sweet boy,” she cooed between breathy laughter, “You’re so fucking precious. I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

As if she hadn’t already.

But I would come to bite my tongue quicker than the words could make it out. Because for all the pleasure her descent had brought, it couldn’t compare to the feeling of her hips subtly rocking throughout her ascent.

My body actually trembled, overcome with the unadulterated pleasure of her careful rolling up and down my dick. It seemed insane for such a simple motion to render me absolutely dumbfounded, but it did.

I didn’t say a word. The only thing spilling from my lips were moans and butchered attempts at her name.

My hands, however, wandered. They traced her silhouette and groped whatever softness it could find. They settled, naturally, at her breasts. Through the motions of curious, clumsy fingers, I felt her heart beating harder against my palm.

As its speed increased, so did that of her hips. She came down harder while the pitch of her moans grew higher and more airy.

“Spencer,” she whined.

It sounded like starlight igniting deep in my chest. I felt that tension growing in my gut, threatening to bring an end to the wonder of loving her.

“Wait,” I grunted. My hands fell to her hips and halted her movements before I begged, “Sl-Slower.”

She obliged me. With her head tipped back and her hands on my chest, she rode me so slowly that I could feel every detail of her twitching muscles.

“You’re so beautiful,” I groaned.

My hips caught me off guard as they started to move. They bucked up into her with increasing intensity until it broke her rhythm.

That beautiful girl fell forward, barely catching herself before she collapsed against my body.

“Fuck me, Spencer,” she mumbled against my neck. She interrupted her own pleas with sloppy kisses against my jugular that lit my body on fire.

That passion was quickly muted by her words, however. Because that was when she growled, “Take me, Spencer. I’m yours.”

I’d never been a particularly strong man, but there was absolutely nothing that would stop me then. My hands splayed over the back of her thighs and lifted her just enough for my hips to move freely.

She clung to me, her arms wrapped around my neck and her whole body rippling with each collision of our hips.

I fucked her harder, my hands carving the memory into her skin and my jaw clenched so tightly I thought I might draw blood from my tongue.

“You can do it, sweetheart,” she purred.  “Give it to me.”

Then, just before I found my peak, I felt it. The unmistakable feeling of pulsing muscles as her body seized in my hold.

I gasped, choking on a moan as I felt her body begging me to fill her with the full extent of my desire.

I emptied myself into the condom and wished that it could have been her instead. I felt the warmth dripping back down me and dared to wonder what it would have looked like on her now-marked thighs.

“Good boy,” she snickered like she could read those fantasies raging in my mind. “That’s my good boy.”

She lifted her head just enough to plant one final kiss on my forehead, and then she promptly collapsed against my chest. I welcomed her weight despite the lack of air. Breathing hardly seemed important compared to her comfort.

And it was comfortable for me, too. As I nuzzled against her neck, I found a sense of home that I’d never felt before.

She was sticky with sweat and spit from haphazard kisses, but she was so beautiful that I barely even noticed.

When she got off of my lap, I missed her immediately. My hand chased hers and, to my unending pleasure, she let me hold it. She lingered for as long as she could before she excused herself and left me to clean up the evidence of what we’d done.

Her room was still as quiet as before. The heavy bass from the frat house felt lifetimes away. The alcohol still swirled in my bloodstream, doing little to warm my now freezing body.

When she walked back through the door, my body flooded with relief. I watched as she grabbed all of my clothing she’s tossed around and placed each piece on the nightstand.

There was a strange sadness in her eyes that I would’ve done anything to remedy.

“Hey, uh…” I started, yet my throat closed when she looked at me.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I-I have a question,” I said.

Then paused, again.

She smiled. When that didn’t serve as answer enough, she laughed.

“Yeah?”

That lovely sound granted me the confidence to finally ask the question I’d been pondering since the moment I stepped into her room.

“Are… Are you still lonely?”

I hadn’t thought it possible, but her smile grew even brighter. Abandoning starlight for the full force of the sun that would soon peek over the horizon.

“Not so much anymore,” she answered bashfully.

I smiled, too. With a playful tilt to my shrug, I asked her one more question that begged for an answer.

“Can I stay anyway?”

Again, she giggled.

“Yeah. I’d love that.”

“So would I,” I told her.

And so, we did.

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)

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[shinesurge]

Magically, I haven't really had to mute that "tumblr isn't dead Actually" post yet because most of the shitty responses are just people who are frustrated about not getting more engagement. WHICH I can understand for sure seeing as I've been making a comic for a decade that has 196 followers on tumblr lolol. I've been doing okay lately but I'm DEEPLY mentally ill and it's absolutely exacerbated by my career, y'all who have been around a while know i am DEFINITELY not salt-deficient in my own time.

mostly i just feel bad because like. man what would you like me to do, i made my point and none of their blogs disprove it. i know i'm REALLY not an example of Success™️ or whatever (my comic is on a six month timer literally right now, i'm working with dogfood over here lmfao) but if you're ONLY feigning enthusiasm with the EXPECTATION that you'll get Something in return that's not going to work either. tumblr, but also most nerdy social medias, is best for people who are obsessive about stuff. i said fandom in the original post but there are thriving craft communities here! there are weightlifters! it doesn't MATTER what the thing is, you just have to genuinely be into it to an embarrassing degree, and want to hang out with other people doing the same. that's how communities work.

this issue plays out /constantly/ in the webcomic community, SO many people show up to get popular or whatever with no intention of reading anyone else's stuff, or reading other comics is A Chore rather than a cause for excitement. Almost all of those projects die early because the creator gets burnt out, because webcomics are fuckin hard and thankless and the ONLY reason you keep at it is because you love it yourself and can't help but make the thing. and then you stick around long enough to find the other freaks who are also too stupid to quit, and now you have friends lol

I really feel for the folks who are so frustrated, i have one foot there pretty much all the time. but you can't fake this stuff, and unfortunately i do not know how to explain this concept to folks who don't even realize where the problem is

[dujour13]

9 People You Want to Know Better

tagged by @arendaes, @dmagedgoods and @undyingembers - thank you!! ����💕💕

Three ships:

Siavash/Woljif always ❤️ My chaotic boys are exponentially worse together, but also manage to balance each other out. The two-way hurt/comfort story that pushes all the right buttons for me.

And two of my dearest ships from my writer friends. Although these aren’t the only two I hold dear they're special to me:

@arendaes’ Ariadne Trias/Daeran Arendae/Woljif Jefto – a triad that are a degree more exponentially worse together, great fun and crazy in love.

@dragonologist-phd’s Cleo/Galfrey – The demon path Galfrey romance I can’t live without. There’s something about Galfrey’s walls of dignity and reserve being breached by this raging barbarian that’s just so romantic.

Last Song:

Where Devils Weep – Jonathan Hultèn

Last Movie:

Poor Things - I’m a Frankenstein nerd, a feminist, and I love absurdist cinema. No notes.

Currently Reading:

The Sleeping Giant – Kazuo Ishiguro

I’m loving this so far. Ishiguro’s a fave but this one’s shaping up to be my fave of his! Set in post-Arthurian Britain, the whole story feels suffused in myth and magic while not feeling like fantasy. Beautiful old couple love story.

Currently Watching:

In between series right now. Just finished IWTV and that’ll be a tough act to follow.

Currently Eating:

Bread, cheese and wine

Currently Craving:

Blorbo energy (see under “Current Obsession” below)

Favorite Color:

Burgundy

Favorite Flavor:

Dark chocolate

Current Obsession:

I wish I had one. In a bit of a dead zone right now due to RL stuff.

Last thing I googled:

Non-binary term for niece/nephew. Embarrassed I didn’t know this before. I’m going with nibling.

Favorite season:

Autumn! Halloween, chestnuts, storms, my birthday, the scent of dead leaves, rainy mornings. I just wish it didn’t also mean school starts.

Skill I’d like to learn:

I’d love to get back into drawing. I’m pretty good at copying references or doodling but I haven’t been practicing and it’s hard to find the time. That and learning a musical instrument. And German.

Best advice:

“Lighten up.” – Tom Robbins

Tagging: @the-raging-tempest, @jean-dieu, @yunessa, @spyridonya, @dragonflytehanu, @arrow90-quiver

[anonymous-kotlc-thoughts]

I’ll be honest here guys (this is quite embarrassing but, you know).

When I was like fourteen and I think Legacy had just come out, but I was OBSESSED with BTS at the time. (To a semi unhealthy degree). While reading the book Shannon mentioned a post of a boy band on Amy Fosters wall that Sophie had never heard of before. I am assuming she was meaning to imply this was one direction. But you know. I’m insane. So I researched deeply into the KOTLC Time line and lined up all the events. Anyways Sophie left in 2012 which was a YEAR after one direction released their first album. Now 1D wasn’t at the height of their fame; snd Sophie was a socially awkward tween BUT I’m TELLING YOU GUYS. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE . Literally inescapable part of the western world, especially I would say in America where literally everyone fawned over UK accents. Uh anyways. From this thesis I figured that Sophie just could not have not know 1D. And I bet you right now they were on her iPod music playlist. Anyways I concluded that the boyband poster was BTS. Also one of my favourite songs from them at the time is called black swan. I had an animatic planned to it.

Now is where the ask SHOULD stop. Because, well… the rest is quite embarrassing but I think it’s funny.

With the collision of these two interests of mind some insane washed over me and I decided I had to write a fanfiction. It was about Amy Foster joining the neverseen around the same time as Tam and Glimmer were around and it had an ungodly amount of BTS references and fandom jokes that I think were there purely to make me giggle. I was having QUITE the time you see and I posted maybe four chapters to Ao3? It was a complete cringefest. But I enjoyed it and that’s all that mattered at the time !! (I still kinda live by that statement). Anyways I didn’t expect for it to be exactly a hit but I got a couple of hits and like maybe 2 Kudos. I was like cool, people are enjoying this. That’s great! Anyways I got a comment on the fic. It was something along the lines of “Imao what is this.”.

And dude.

Look I’m not THAT great at reading text but that broke me. I gave up writing the fic and pulled it from the platform. Suffice to say my tolerance for criticism wasn’t that good- but I’m proud to say I have really built up that cringe but free mindset lately and every year I grow stronger. Anyways to anyone who’s ever written a fic or done something that they found fun and joyful and whimsy and someone else was being a little hater (even if they didn’t mean it) I see you, I feel you and I hope you are able to find a happier space where you csn be cringe and free !!! 💜

.

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode!

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 22 on my list: RKO’s 1938 screwball comedy Bringing Up Baby, directed by Howard Hawks, written by Dudley Nichols and Hagar Wilde, based on a story by Hagar Wilde, and starring Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant.

Paleontologist David Huxley (Cary Grant) has a lot going on. He’s about to marry Alice Swallow (Virginia Walker). The final bone to complete the brontosaurus skeleton he’s been assembling for four years has just been found. And the wealthy Mrs. Carlton Random (May Robson) is considering a million-dollar donation to his museum. But while David is golfing with Mrs. Random’s lawyer, Alexander Peabody (George Irving), his ball gets mixed up with that of zany, scatterbrained Susan Vance (Katharine Hepburn), who leads him on a series of misadventures involving wardrobe malfunctions, a thieving dog, trouble with the law, and two leopards.

When my mom was starting to introduce me to Old Hollywood, she got Bringing Up Baby from the library and said something along the lines of, “I don’t particularly like this one, but you probably will.” And, um…that was an understatement. I was obsessed with this movie in my early teens. Like, to an embarrassing degree. I quoted it constantly. For example, whenever there was a curb or other uneven surface, I had to walk along it with one leg higher than the other in reference to the part when Susan loses the heel of one of her shoes and says, “I was born on the side of a hill.” I’m pretty sure I had watched it a few times in 2002 before I started keeping track; then I saw it five times in 2003, twice in 2004, and three times in 2005. And then as I got older, I started to cringe about my initial enthusiasm, and to listen to people I knew who didn’t like it. I watched it once in 2008, once in 2013, once in 2014, once in 2016, and then I decided I liked it again, so I saw it twice in 2018, twice in 2021, and once in 2022.

This movie flopped in its initial release, but its reputation has grown over the years, and it’s now generally considered to be the definitive screwball comedy, one of the greatest comedic films ever made, and according to some, one of the greatest films of all time of any genre. And yet, many of the people I know in real life who have seen it don’t like it – apart from my brother; I could always count on him to watch it with me. I think a lot of people find it too unhinged and chaotic and frustrating – and, to be fair, they are correct in that assessment. But it happens to be unhinged and chaotic and frustrating in all the right ways for me. I totally get that it’s not for everyone, and I think it does tend to be over-praised now, perhaps to overcompensate for the lukewarm response it generated in 1938. Back then, Howard Hawks attributed the box office failure to the fact that there were no normal characters in the film, so there was nobody for the audience to identify with. And maybe that is the problem. Perhaps the people who don’t like this movie are too normal for it, and the reason I enjoy it is because I have never been normal.

I think especially when I was young, I saw a lot of myself in both David Huxley and Susan Vance, even though they are pretty much opposites. David is mild-mannered and socially awkward, which is how I tend to be around people I don’t know very well. He also has a fairly passive role in the story; lots of things happen to him, while he’s unwillingly along for the ride, and that was definitely how I perceived my life at the time when I was most into this movie. Susan, on the other hand, is outgoing and self-assured when she shouldn’t be, and she frequently prattles on to the point of obnoxiousness, which is how I tend to be around people I’m comfortable with – again, even more so when I was younger. The fact that I’m basically a combination of the two leading characters is not something I consciously noticed until recently, but I think it explains a lot. Like why I find this movie comforting when it seems like I should find it irritating. I truly cannot overemphasize how ridiculous this movie is. Nothing about it makes any sense, which normally would bother me, but the thing is, it’s clearly not supposed to make sense. David refers to his skeleton as a brontosaurus, when at the time most paleontologists considered them the same as an apatosaurus (although recently that’s been called into question again). The final bone he’s waiting for is the “intercostal clavicle” which would be a shoulder bone in between the ribs, which…is not a thing in any animal that I know of. And the main leopard, Baby, is introduced to the story because Susan’s brother sent him to her from Brazil, which means either the brother or the leopard was very lost, since leopards are native to Africa and Asia. These factual errors introduced early in the story help set the tone for the nonsense that’s about to ensue, and oh boy is there a lot of nonsense. I mean, not that there isn’t a story at all; there definitely is, and the plot is relatively easy to follow. It’s just absolutely bonkers. Nobody would wind up in jail for trying to get a leopard off a roof, after mistaking it for a different leopard. But it’s very funny to see what would happen if they did. Ultimately, this movie is just trying to be a comedy, and it very much succeeds at that. Most of the movie is witty dialogue between wacky characters in ridiculous situations – basically my favorite brand of humor. There is also excellent physical comedy, including lots of falling down, which normally I’m not a huge fan of, but for some reason this movie’s brand of falling humor works for me. It’s a fun silly movie that is clearly not meant to be taken seriously. And I would argue that its central romance isn’t meant to be taken seriously either.

Because this movie has a male and a female lead, predictably they end up together. But the thing is, I don’t believe that David and Susan truly have romantic feelings for each other. After they have run into each other a few times, Susan asks a psychiatrist she’s stumbled upon what he would say about a man who follows a woman around, and when she talks to him, he fights with her. Now, this is an extremely inaccurate representation of what has been happening – first she took over his golf ball, then she stole his car, then she dropped an olive causing him to slip and fall on his hat. He’s not just randomly picking fights with her; he has reasons to be upset with her. But based on what she said, the psychiatrist tells her, “The love impulse in men frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.” That leads Susan to conclude that David must be in love with her, and she then decides that she is also in love with him. Which very much sounds like the behavior of someone who does not understand romantic attraction. Throughout the rest of the movie, Susan keeps coming up with ways to prevent David from leaving, which she thinks is because she’s in love with him, but comes across to me as a lonely person desperate for a friend. David spends most of the movie trying to get away from Susan. He does help her resolve some of the situations that she gets herself into, but mostly because she’s either tricked or trapped him. At one point, he tells her, “In moments of quiet, I’m strangely drawn toward you, but there haven’t been any quiet moments,” implying that he is not, in fact, drawn toward her at all. He does care about her wellbeing in spite of himself, but that doesn’t automatically imply romantic feelings. At the climax, when David is trying to fight off the wild leopard that has been mistaken for the tame Baby, he urges Susan to run, and she says, “No, I won’t leave you, I love you!” and he just responds with an unpleasantly shocked, “WHAT?!” Granted, at the end, David confesses to Susan that in hindsight, the time he spent with her was the most fun he’s had in his whole life, to which she replies, “That means you must like me a little bit,” and he says, “It’s more than that! I love you, I think!” But then she accidentally breaks the dinosaur skeleton that he’s spent four years working on, and before he recovers his power of speech, she says, “Oh, David can you ever forgive me? You do? And you still love me!” and she embraces him, and he just goes, “Oh dear,” and hugs her back, and then the movie ends without even remotely convincing me that they’re really in love. I think the psychiatrist’s suggestion combined with amatonormativity has convinced them that they were thrown together by fate and destined to fall in love, so they decided that that was what had happened without really feeling it. The characters strike me as being better suited for friendship than romance, and I hope they discover that after the events of the film. I can see them meeting up every once in a while for more absurd adventures, but I feel like they would destroy each other if they tried to live together.

Now, could this all be me projecting my aromanticism onto these characters so I could relate to them even more? Absolutely. But there’s something indisputably queer about this movie that is definitely not all in my head. These characters are just so fascinatingly quirky that they can’t possibly all be straight allos. Apparently the script had scenes of David and Susan declaring love for each other in the middle that Howard Hawks cut during production, which implies that the director agreed with me that the leads weren’t intended to be too into each other that way. And of course, there’s That One Line. If you’re at all familiar with this movie, you probably know the one I mean, but for those who don’t: after they take Baby the leopard to Susan’s aunt’s country house in Connecticut, Susan convinces David that he needs to take a shower before he can go back to New York to marry his fiancée, and while he’s bathing she takes his clothes and sends them into town to be cleaned, so David won’t be able to leave. When he gets out of the shower, he has nothing to put on but a frilly woman’s bathrobe. Then Susan’s aunt (who also happens to be Mrs. Carlton Random, but he doesn’t know that yet) enters the house and asks who he is, to which he replies, “I don’t know, I’m not quite myself today.” And then when she demands to know why he’s wearing the feminine robe, he can’t come up with a good explanation, so he bursts out, “Because I just went GAY, all of a sudden!” This was an ad-lib by Cary Grant that somehow made it into the film and is now probably its most famous line. At the time, the word “gay” was being used by the homosexual community to refer to themselves, but that use had not entered mainstream consciousness yet, obviously, or the censors wouldn’t have allowed it in the movie. Most uses of “gay” in old films were clearly meant in the “lighthearted, carefree” sense, or were at least ambiguous enough that they could mean that, but in this context, that definition doesn’t really make sense. I don’t like forcing labels onto real people, but it does seem like Cary Grant was probably bisexual, and therefore it’s reasonable to assume that he would have been familiar with the less common definition. Of course, David is saying this sarcastically; he’s wearing the feminine robe because that was the only thing available to wear when he got out of the shower – it has nothing to do with his sexuality or gender presentation. But the idea that the character would be familiar with that use of the word “gay” raises some interesting questions.

In addition to Cary Grant, it’s also been widely speculated that Katharine Hepburn was not straight. She certainly was at least somewhat gender-nonconforming, frequently wearing pants at a time when that wasn’t socially acceptable for women. Susan Vance is one of her more feminine-dressing characters, and she doesn’t say anything about being gay, but right after that scene, when she hears that David is looking for clothes in her brother’s old room, she cries, “If he gets some clothes, he’ll go away, and he’s the only man I’ve ever loved!” I’m told that making it to 30 without having loved someone of the opposite sex is not a typical straight, alloromantic experience. So even if my initial theory is wrong and David and Susan are attracted to each other romantically, that doesn’t rule out the possibility that they’re some form of queer. And as for David’s fiancée, Alice, she’s not in much of the movie, but she makes it clear that her marriage to David is going to be more of a business arrangement than a romance. She has no interest in a honeymoon or children, insisting that the dinosaur skeleton will be their child, and like, I know she was probably meant to be a stereotypically frigid geeky girl with glasses, and it’s harmful to imply that women can either have brains or heart, but at the same time “why would we need to have sex when we have a dinosaur skeleton” is such an iconic ace attitude that I can’t help but admire her. Anyway, she breaks up with David after Mrs. Carlton Random finds out who he is and decides not to donate her million dollars to a museum that employs someone as unhinged as him, but I hope Alice finds happiness, preferably with another asexual dinosaur enthusiast. Most of the other characters also seem at least somewhat queer – Constable Slocum and his assistant Elmer kind of seem like they’re in a relationship with each other, for instance, and Major Applegate doesn’t seem very straight either. All of this might have been completely unintentional, but what the heck, in honor of Pride month, I’m declaring that every character in this movie is somewhere under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. This is my podcast and I make the rules.

Bringing Up Baby was reportedly very difficult to make. Production ended up taking 40 days longer than scheduled and costing $330,000 over budget. Part of that was because Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn kept cracking each other up and ruining takes, and because Howard Hawks had a fairly leisurely attitude on set, sometimes cancelling shooting early to take the cast to the races. They also had to deal with animals, which is always tricky. In modern films there are usually multiple animals playing the same character, but in this movie they only had one Leopard, named Nissa, who played both Baby and the vicious circus leopard. Katharine Hepburn seemed to enjoy working with the leopard, and she wasn’t afraid of it even though it did almost attack her at one point. But Cary Grant was terrified of Nissa, so most of his scenes with a leopard were either filmed with his stand-in, or his part and the leopard’s part were filmed separately. The visual effects were fairly advanced for 1938, and even though you can sometimes tell that the actors and the leopard weren’t actually together, it works well enough that you won’t really notice unless you’re watching for it. There’s also a dog named George who steals and buries the intercostal clavicle, and that dog was played by the famous Skippy, who had also played Asta in the first few Thin Man movies and appeared in a different Cary Grant movie called The Awful Truth. I haven’t heard any stories about how Skippy behaved on the Bringing Up Baby set, but I assume he was very professional.

Although the film’s box office failure did nothing to help Katharine Hepburn’s floundering film career in the late 1930s, I personally feel like it represents a significant turning point in her acting abilities. There’s a staggering difference between her pre-Bringing Up Baby performances and her post-Bringing Up Baby performances. Early in her career she was extremely overly dramatic, and while some of those films were still fairly good, many are painfully unwatchable. The story goes that initially, she wasn’t very good as Susan Vance either. She kept trying too hard to be funny, which ruined the comedy. Unable to get through to her himself, Howard Hawks asked Vaudeville veteran Walter Catlett to show her what she was doing wrong, and Hepburn found him so helpful that she asked Hawks to cast him in the movie so he’d be around to give her more pointers. So Walter Catlett played Constable Slocum, and Katharine Hepburn learned how to do comedy. Her character is relentlessly annoying and over-the-top ridiculous, but Hepburn commits. The knowledge that she needed help to get there in no way detracts from the brilliance of her performance. She plays everything Susan does as if it’s the most logical, natural thing in the world, and that’s what makes the movie work. If Susan was aware of how silly she was, the whole thing would have fallen apart. We all know that I love Cary Grant, and I do greatly enjoy his performance here, too, and I think they play off each other very well, but I feel like it’s mainly Hepburn’s performance that has compelled me to keep revisiting this film. As a young person, I related to certain things about Susan and wished I could be as carefree and self-assured as she was, although maybe a little less obnoxious. Now I relate to her less – I wish I had half her energy – but I still find her antics amusing. And it’s also fun to see how much better her acting got after this movie. Clearly she took Catlett’s lessons to heart, and combined them with her natural talent and determination and hard-working spirit to fully become the force to be reckoned with that she’s remembered as.

There is so much more I could say about Bringing Up Baby, like how much I love the scene when Susan pretends to be a gangster to get out of jail, but I’m worried I would just end up quoting the whole movie if I kept going, so I think I’ll wrap it up here. Thank you so much for listening, whether you love this movie, hate this movie, don’t have a strong opinion about this movie, or have never seen this movie. I appreciate you all so much! This will be my last solo episode for a while, as I have guests lined up for the next three episodes, so stay tuned for some fun conversations. Next up is the fifth and final film I watched 19 times while keeping track. As always I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “A date! What’s a date?”

[roostertuftart]

do what you want but you can't draw triggering things and then get mad about not getting notes. people should not be obligated to interact with posts that make them uncomfortable.

I was talking about both my own art but also OTHER people’s art, and not all of my art contains triggering content- tbh most of it is pretty wholesome! Was I a bit upset about my most recent gore art was not getting many notes for the first few hours? Yeah, but I kind of expected it to get less than usual, though it felt a little like the straw that broke the camel’s back for me in this frustration that I’ve felt (and posted about in the past in fact!!) for a while.

I’ve been getting less notes in general, and it’s disheartening when I work hard on my artwork! And when I looked through the notes of the most recent art I’ve reblogged from other people, some of it being work done from very popular artists on this app, I realized how this wasn’t something isolated to me, and I was pretty clear how this is a widespread problem for all of us in my original post and that’s an incredibly hard point to miss!!

Honestly you either haven’t read my post or you just want to believe I’m saying something I’m not and considering you’re probably the same anon who has shown tons of bad faith to me plenty of times before, I’m leaning the latter. I’d ask why you have to go on anon to say this “criticism” to me but it’s pretty clear it’s because it would be embarrassing to argue with me on something I very obviously wasn’t saying at all- something that also doubles as an incredibly lukewarm take!! Like I am far from the first person to have mentioned you should reblog from artists even in this fandom alone, let alone on Tumblr.

Anyway, why are you so desperate to put me down that you’ll jump on the most minute things I say? Does it make you so uncomfortable that I post things sometimes that you need to obsessively scrutinize every little word I say to the utmost degree- so much so that it’s literally not what i was saying anymore?? Please find a real struggle or do something productive, this is genuinely pathetic and anon hate almost never does the anon any favours.

[celustine]

yayyyyy ok nsfw, body horror, eye trauma, some implications of abuse, and rambling under the cut. and warning; my canon was dark (i'm 100% over it but i feel like i should warn for it just in case)

alternates are basically meant to be obedient machines, like a demonic version of angels; they are not meant to have freewill, only to serve "gabriel". i'm not gonna go into details, but basically if they deviate from that, they get punished SEVERELY and with no mercy until they "correct" themselves. so pretty much every alternate from my canon was 1. fucked up and traumatized to some degree and 2. probably wouldn't be doing half the shit they were doing if they had an actual choice in the matter lol.

which means if an alternate feels attraction towards someone/something, it does NOT know how to handle that shit! most of them either aren't going to consider a human's feelings and just do whatever they want, or believe violence and fear are normal and valid expressions of love. they're also most likely hungry and desperate for a meal. alternates feed off of emotions and since most of the time a human's first reaction to an alternate is fear, once they get a taste of it they'll try to amplify that emotion as possible to sate their hunger. alternates can feed off of other emotions/feelings though, most of them just never realize that.

in my memories, i diverged heavily from what an alternate was "supposed to be" bc i was disabled by alternate standards, and had to rely on another alternate to do basically anything. one of my eyes would rotate in its socket so half of my vision was the world upside down. very disorienting! i was also emotionally unstable and it affected my ability to pass as human; i would have random laughing fits and my limbs would spasm if i got overwhelmed.

there were also 2 alternates copying cesar in my canon; myself, and my partner who is headmates with me now<3 it was the one who took care of me and kept me grounded to reality. when we first met it didn't like me because it viewed me as "weak" but it got attached and the rest is history. it's my pookie bear and my princess mwah mwah (it's biting me). which is another "abnormality"; alternates teaming up isn't very common. sure, alternates might hunt as a pack but the alliance is disbanded the moment the hunt's over. we stayed together for wayyy longer than normal, and essentially became like two pair-bonded cats. 'do not separate' Or Else. it also had trouble adding affect to its tone, so i would help it sound more "human". in the og vol 1 call, it's the one that speaks from 3:00-3:50, and i start talking around 3:50 after we realized mark wasn't 100% convinced. the reason the call glitched out at 4:09 is because i had a laughing fit when i asked mark to check the back hallway, and my partner had to take the phone from me and finish the call.

remember how i said most alternates don't know how to handle attraction to a human? well i got absolutely OBSESSED with mark during that 3 day period and genuinely wanted him to live by the end of it. i viewed him as a christ-like figure that could "save" us somehow, idk. unfortunately i was very bad at keeping him alive. womp womp. i can't remember his death but we're both pretty sure he died the same way source mark did. all this time later and i'm still obsessed with him oops.

i don't remember much else other than that but i do have a VERY funny memory of randomly getting aroused (i may have been thinking about mark. perhaps) while i was invisible in the torres house and not knowing how to jack off. imagine the world's most sopping wet pathetic shadow creature wearing human skin trying to figure out how to get a 2 ft cock out of its sheath while shuffling awkwardly around trying to find an empty room and hoping it doesn't suddenly become visible to the human eye because cesar and his mom were RIGHT THERE having dinner. it was so embarrassing in the moment but it still makes me giggle.

[juszar2]

Five Stones and a Slingshot... And just like with David, God breathed on it.

I really don't know if it is mental illness or spirits. No... The frequent assertions that you would Blow your ****** out. Anything that would go wrong. That was him. My shock that I let gross in my life was exponentially worse for me without a doubt. Repulsion to a degree that he could not imagine. Because he'd have to have pride or dignity to imagine and he has none at all. Me, I would have someone who really low folks could very literally use to wipe their "parts" on. Toilet paper. While they're wiping those parts on a woman who lives as a man as they profess to love the woman who lives as a man while at the same time messaging about women, obsessing over me and propositioning and soliciting a low life. The lowest characters around. That is mind blowing for me. That is how bad it is to find that the real life nastiness and uncleanliness is actually trashiness. Shocking.

Because I've never been promiscuous nor trash nor have I asked and tried to persuade and convince men to have me. I don't know that life and haven't even had a handful in life. This toilet knows that I don't know toilets typically, he would be the lowest I've ever seen if all of this. So imagine my disgust to have let a toilet in my life. How the toilet speaks of this rot and homosexual in disdain, yes that is how I feel finding that this is likely a toilet with maybe a mental problem or personality disorder.... Shocking. He gets embarrassed when told that he is associated with low life treachery... By name, and face. I don't have a delorian to go back in time and erase the toilet and so it is a reality check that hits so hard. That these rot are stalking and he is a toilet. How the toilet feigns conservatism and decency, and says certain folks are low. Yes that is how I felt finding that it is likely a toilet and ill. Never being able to be self reliant... Ever and being parasitic, all of it came full circle when realizing that I created an unchangeable situation with something like that. And the weakness would be unfathomable and was really horrible as I correlated the severe cowardice that I'd been shown when he kept swearing he'd never be a coward again... So that I didn't run in the past before seeing this epitome of weak coward trashiness. Yes, it may have been sick all along, I just did not know. How would I know I am not a mental health professional.

Dissociative personality disorder is not my field. So the swearing and lies and he'd never be associated with black homosexual whores and rot... But I know a little bit. Now that I've had the chance to have the best and most esteemed professionals review this rot and the toilet whom is identified by full name and face and by depictions and record of exactly who and what it is. Yes will be forever identified as a treacherous gross situation of use, scorn and obsession. Full name identified associated with rot and what he says is black homosexual whores and whatever else. What Satan meant for harm in that regard, god sent the top to record and it was perfect. Both were serious and protective of me. Not ever even having known me, and not even sharing my ethnicity. Just good people who have seen some rot. I didn't have to say much just truth and the rest you can glean from what they did and documented. The verbatim words were "The world needs more people like you" verbatim. Said thought I was a wonderful person and asked me how I had been able to do what I did for myself independently over my whole life. Commended my intellect. Commended my life long character and that I was able to reproduce my traits and said that was the height of excellence. Then warned that these sorts of folks are out there and sick and look just like their documented platforms do. And that they indeed reproduce their traits and that is what is wrong in the world. Gave even a personal story of a friend and such rot much like these sickos involved in this lowliness. Unable to be disputed, some great folks concerned about me and that is how God used that. God wanted it recorded as such. That is what the toilet paper has been identified by in full name associated with a sick obsessed also identified rot with zero "integrity" and deviant sickness. What Satan meant to harm me, God sent the best to put it on record that the highest and esteemed opinion was that "there needs to be more people like me in the world" and there was no question and Only concern.... Because it was clear to see even without glasses that I'd encountered some rot and lowly. That is important to have recorded because of this sick stalking.... With an entire audience these rot follow my life and use trash to do it. Easily discernable by esteemed and took just the first minutes to see what was what. There are professionals who see stalking worse than this. Who see treachery and low life's. I didn't even realize that it would be good to have that recorded/opined just to relay the damage that is legitimately caused by encountering rot stalking and treachery. God knew and thus he used for good. This toilet didn't want to be connected to that... And now he is. Fencer, and black homosexual obsessed felon charged rot that are stalking me... Publicly.

[fightingmonsterswithwords]

I too am a very impatient bitch to get to the exciting parts when I am writing fics. I seriously don't think I could do a proper slow burn even if I tried 😅😂

I feel very much like Darth Sideous just going "do it!" when I was reading your most recent ask response, in regards to you just jumping to writing the parts you want to right away.

I totally agree with that ask though, I hate that your doubting where you want to take it because I am just as excited for things to ramp up in this story! I'm dying to read the next update whatever the content may contain, I just know I'm going to end up obsessing over it just as much if not even more than Ch. 7. It's embarrassing how much time I've spent thinking about this story even with as few chapters as you've done so far.

I don't think a fan fic has captured and consumed my attention like this in such a long time. One of the things I still find crazy about how great it is, is knowing that you're not a native English speaker. This story to me has very much been the stereotype meme of 'sorry guys, English isn't my first language' kind of fics that just turn out to be masterpieces on a whole different level than others.

Anyway, sorry for the fucking wall of words, I honestly could not stop myself.

In summation, you are absolutely amazing and I'm low-key growing obsessed with this story you've been sharing with us. Haha I don't want to sound crazy but I just think you should know that you've been creating such an amazing story that can invoke such a response in a reader.

Don't apologize for the long message, my answers are even longer, hahah.

Yess. I truly admire people capable of writing a good slow-paced romance, since I know it would take me ages to get there with my writing rhythm I just don't even think of doing it. I would give up halfway 😅 For original stuff I try to have everything outlined, but with fics I mostly improvise, so I can't plan that far ahead. But I try to keep the pacing realistic even if it's a bit hurried. And yeah, I sorta played the card that Alastor and Little Bird had an stablished weird relationship before for that reason.

I'm screaming that you would throw me into the 'non-native English writing masterpieces' meme thing 😭❤ I'm so not worthy. I always include that bit of information in case there are lots of weird sentences, false friends, etcetera. And there always are. But like, I'm reading a first person POV novel right now set in North Carolina and the protagonist says/thinks a lot of things I don't completely understand because I lack that level of cultural depth. I realized the same thing reading a Hazbin Hotel fic full of cultural references that I sorta understand but aren't that familiar to me. If I wanted to write something about Alastor while he was alive in New Orleans I would have to do so much research. But also, being completely honest, I have a Bachelor's Degree in English Studies and work in the Translation field. I read more in English than in my own language (and I do fear the stuff I write sometimes uses overly flowery English because I have studied so much classic stuff). I have a decent grasp of the language. Just not flawless, not by far. I'm not trying to be humble, just self-aware. 🙃 For example: my dialogues are zero percent realistic because I don't usually have conversations in English.

I'm truly honored that you love the fic this much and have told me so repeatedly 🥰 I might not be doing so bad, after all, hah.

Thanks again for all the love and support, Kew!! 💖💖💖

[stormswrath]

Letting Go

For the last year I've been seeing a therapist. Now this is not the first therapist I've seen. Unfortunately, I have had an unfortunate history with them. Most of the ones I saw were the type that just sat back while I talked. They never really worked for me. I might as well have been talking to myself. After my wife passed away, I was pointed in the direction of a new therapist. For the first time, I found someone who would actually engage with me and bounce thoughts back and forth. He was absolutely instrumental in helping me deal with my grief. I continued to stick with him for awhile up until the end of last year when his practice decided to stop accepting insurance. I was devastated having to walk away from the first helpful therapist I had. However, it would end up being the best thing that could happen.

Fast forward a couple months. I was seeing a psychiatrist (different company) for my medication. When I told her about losing my therapist, she encouraged me to reach out to a therapist within her company, which I did. The woman I ended up with was, for lack of a better term, a godsend. As I said, my old therapist was helpful, and even after I dealt with my loss, I still continued to see him. As I would come to realize, my problem was that I would only see him when I had a pressing issue. He would give me advice on how to deal with that and I might not see him for a few weeks or months. Essentially, I was dealing with symptoms as they appeared. I was not tackling the real problem, the core issue.

My current therapist actually pushed me, challenged me to look deeper, dig harder, and find the source of my issues. Now, I knew I had issues with letting go of things. Embarrassing moments, lost opportunities, old grudges, I held on to a lot. She made me see the degree of how that was negatively impacting me. I held on to so much, and rather than learn from those moments and move past them, I obsessed about ways to fix them, or make them disappear like it never happened. I knew it was impossible in most cases, but I did. Decades-old animosities, missed relationship opportunities, humiliating moments. I tried to imagine any way I could make them...unhappen. It sounds insane, I know. But that is where I was for so long. Too long.

I have finally begun to revisit all those moments. Accept that they happened. Learn what I could from them, and finally let them go. It is a slow and painful process, but with every past event I do this with, it almost feels like a little more weight slides off my shoulders. Every day, I feel a little more free. Letting go not only makes my heart and mind feel lighter, but it also made me see how much of the present moment I was missing because I was so fixated on the past. Finally I could be in the moment, be mindful of what is around me. Let the past be the past. Every day when I wake up, I say those inspirational words from Kung Fu Panda:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present"

I am on a long road to be my better self. It will be a long journey, full of dark moments and obstacles, but with every step forward I take, it is a victory. It is progress. I learned that the most important step is not the first step, it is each next step. As long as my mind and will are my own, I will keep moving forward, no matter what comes.

[ailithnight]

Back to the dinner that became a spontaneous birth then reprimand from a newborn toddler. Where genres collide. Before the misunderstandings clear, there is pain. : )

While the Bats have been busy being Bats, Alfred has been busy being Alfred. Making all the appropriate preparations for Tim and the innocent baby this deal has produced. (Because Alfred is a sensible gentleman and would never blame or punish a newborn for existing, regardless of the presumed 'sins of the father' or potential world ending future.)

That the baby came out so unexpectedly in the middle of dinner and also already a toddler, though clearly he is cognitively much older, is only a minor set back. Alfred had the foresight to acquire the necessities for what he had assumed would be several months of development. The smaller diapers and clothes will simply have to go into storage should one of the other children someday grace Master Bruce with more grandchildren.

"If I may, Master Tim. Young Master, Danny was it?" Tim mutely nods, brain still whirring away trying to figure out what happened to Danny and also why everyone is looking at him like that. "Young Master Danny seems to be in need of dressing." Danny looks down at himself for the first time, then immediately tries to hide in Tim's shoulder with a squeak.

"Da! Tim! Why my naked?"

"Last I checked, humans are not born with clothes, Danny."

"Oh. Yeah. Uh... can I boh-woe a t-shut?"

"Nonsense, young Master. I have plenty of clothes and diapers for a variety of young ages set aside."

Tim startles at that, clearly not expecting it. "Why?"

Danny squeaks again, clearly embarrassed. "Die-puhs?"

"Surely, Master Tim, you did not think I would allow my great grandson to go unclothed?" Alfred levels Tim with his patented eyebrow. "Now, if you would follow me, there is a nursery prepared in just across the hall from your bedroom. We shall find everything we need right now in there."

Apparently Tim's emotions haven't leveled out yet, not that he expected them too immediately, but it would have been nice; because tears are springing to his eyes at the casually implication that Alfred at least still considers him family. "Right, yes, right. Clothes, diapers, good idea."

Danny squeaks once more. "Do I hab t'wear die-puh?"

"You are physically a toddler. Your body probably doesn't have bladder and bowel control yet. So until we know for certain, yes." Tim stands, turning to leave the room with Alfred.

Bruce finally regains enough wits to speak. Which naturally means he immediately puts his foot all the way in his mouth. "Alfred, wait. The child is- We don't know- It's a Death God incarnate. It could be dangerous."

Tim freezes, back still to the room. The temperature seems to drop several degrees. The Bats scramble to take defensive stances. "What?"

"Tim, Son, I know your head is probably a bit messed up right now. But we are your family. We are. And you have to remember, I know you remember, you made a Deal with a Death God to bring me back. And it took advantage of your body to give itself human form. That's not a child, that is a Death God incarnate and it is m-"

Danny glances up over Tim's shoulder, wide eyes brimming with tears, before burying his face back in Tim's shoulder with a high whine straight from his core. Danny knows that Tim isn't his dad. That means Tim's dad isn't his grandad and his siblings aren't aunts and uncles.

Danny knows this big, loving albeit extremely dysfunctional isn't actually his family. But his core apparently didn't get the memo. So the rejection still hurts. It bites and stings and aches along the Y-shaped wound that doesn't physically exist on this body but Danny can still feel it scarred into his soul. And Danny doesn't really know what he did wrong here, but his tiny toddler body is full of big feelings and his Obsession demands he try to fix it, to regain the family's approval.

"Saw-we. I di-int wannoo take ad-ban-tage ob Tim. Wuh jus posed to we-go m' boh-dee. O a boh-dee. My boh-dee wuh hut bad an it wu-int he-wing an Cawk-wuk said dis would be good. Tim uh-gweed, to bing Buce home, I could he-uh inside him. Use his body as a temp-ate to fit mine. I doh-no wuh wen wong. I doh-no. Saw-we. M saw-we. I dunno. M saw-we."

.

Toddler translations again:

"Oh. Yeah. Uh... can I borrow a t-shirt?"

"Diapers?"

"Do I have to wear [a] diaper?"

"Sorry. I didn't want to take advantage of Tim. [I] Was just supposed to regrow my body. Or a body. My body was hurt bad and it wasn't healing and Clockwork said this would be good. Tim agreed, to bring Bruce home, I could heal inside him. Use his body as a template to fix mine. I don't know what went wrong. I don't know. Sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry."

Just a little idea

What if when Tim went off to look for Batman when he was lost in time he bumped into Phantom.

They made a Deal

Phantom knowing CW helped him find Bruce and how to get him back safely, Phantom in return for reasons (hurt badly & recovering, or evolving in power) needed someone very ecto-contaminated (Ra's fault) like Tim, to be contained in.

From a magic user point of view, knowing very little of the GZ and how they work, Tim made a very powerful Deal with a powerful death being (High Ghost King Phantom: Hello!) and is now somehow pregnant (not really but they don't know that)

Danny while inside Tim inside his core can still hear the world outside normally and can share his emotions with Tim to communicate. Which looks a lot like Tim is speaking to his belly just like expecting parents do.

This could be angst or crack

or

my personal favourite, different genres for different pov's

Tim's would be happy, just regular getting his life back together being a total BAMF, coming of age type of vibe

The rest of the Batfam and other heroes pov would be angst, paranormal, psychological horror.

Misunderstandings galore

Dick regretting heavily his decisions which caused Tim to run away because he did not believe him and he has many Regrets.

Bruce feeling guilty that Tim felt the need to make such a decision as to make a Deal and end up pregnant just to bring him back.

Meanwhile the magic users have told the other heroes about Tim's situation and now think that he's going to give birth to the child of a very powerful death being and if something happens to Tim to risk the baby it would cause all of their worlds destruction.

so pretty much-

Tim-Girl Boss, Gatekeep, Gaslight

Batfam- Much Angst

Others- *panicked chicken noises*

~

Just an Idea

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

7, 10, and 13 please!

Thanks for the ask! These are great questions

7. Where did the title come from? I love this question and I will talk about the title all the time. Like most goth girlies, I am sickeningly obsessed with wuthering heights. The title comes from the scene where heathcliff curses cathy. "You said I killed you — haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe — I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always — take any form — drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!"

It's one of my top five favorite literature quotes (and I have a degree in books, so that's saying something).

10. Why did you choose this pairing for this story? I said in an earlier answer that I had always wanted to write about the northern houses. And I had always wanted to write a character like Wylla. She's flawed. She makes mistakes. She's angry and lashes out. But she's very much a daughter of the north and she's capable of great growth. I think that's something Aemond needs. He needs someone to meet him head on, who sees beneath the cruelty and the dragon and the station. He needs someone who will love that sad little boy inside of him, as well as the frighteningly intense man he's become. And that's wylla! I think she also brings a very fresh perspective to the incredibly isolated world these kids live in, which they desperately need.

13. What music did you listen to while writing this story? I listened to the Braveheart and Last of the Mohicans soundtracks an embarrassing amount of times while writing this (my Spotify wrapped is gonna be so wacky this year). But the vibes are very on point for this story, especially for act ii, which i call the Riverlands arc. I highly recommend both scores. Trevor Jones and James Horner are incredible composers.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #091

(taken december 18th last year; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? Not legally, but I stayed in that apartment way, way too regularly to be considered a "guest" by that point.

How are you feeling today? Happy, sad, or anything else? I am super fucking at peace, Girt stayed last night and the one before that and it was great. Roman and Cookie both slept with us, and it was just a sound, cozy night. I woke up when he did with his alarms to go to work and we were both super cuddly and it was just cute. After work he comes straight back here to stay again, and I am ACTUALLY considering trying to make dinner out of something for us so I can feel like a proper adult and helpful partner. Idc, I wanna do something nice and adult-y.

Who was the last person that made you upset? What did they do? I am FULL prefacing this with the fact this was dumb as shit and I was absolutely being a brat, but I got frustrated I wanna say three nights ago when I was venting the tiniest bit to Girt and he took 'til like, midnight, when I was asleep, to reply. It's embarrassing to even share, like holy shit he has a life and responsibilities and also free time and such. He proves a million times over he cares and is absolutely always there for me, that night just sucked so pretty much everything was hurting me.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Tell me about them. "Crush" doesn't even begin to cover it. Been there for me consistently more than any friend I have ever, and I do mean ever, had. He's never lost faith that I can do great things and conquer what I'm afraid of. He makes me cry from laughing when I don't even want to smile. I feel like I can tell him pretty damn much anything. He's genuinely the most doting boyfriend ever and besides probably my mom of course, my biggest fan there is; he will hype me the fuck up over anything and supports me endlessly. He really appreciates and values my advice and opinions. He SOMEHOW acts entirely unashamed of me. I need to stop, I am too fucking emotional lately and am crying/fighting not to sob lmao jesus, he's just great.

Have you ever had something signed by someone famous? What and who? No but bitch I wish, there are some signatures I would frame lmao

Have you made out with anyone in the last 2 weeks? Yeah.

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? No. I want laser hair removal on my legs so fucking bad, my legs humiliate me but for multiple reasons regularly shaving them just is not reasonable, or maybe even not possible right now.

Does anyone hate you? Probably. Quite sure there are people who do.

What bugs you about the last person you dated? She is, honestly, one of the biggest liars I have ever met, and has been SINCE we met. Among other things.

Have you ever felt replaced? Oh yes.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No.

Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Oh yes, I was obsessed. Honestly, it started my computer addiction, I'm pretty sure. Omg I actually recently saw this tattoo featuring a sick tiger Neopet with the quote "we are all God's Neopets, and he forgot the password" and BOY I fucking CONSIDERED lmfao

Do you regularly check anyone’s profile online? Nope.

Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy tech for quite a while.

Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? I guess "Twinkie," which is the nickname my mom has used for me since I was a baby; she gave all her kids sweets nicknames, lol.

Are you any good at drawing? I guess, wish I was better though.

Is there anything unusual about your house? Uh I don't believe so.

Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? Yes, to such a debilitating degree that it has majorly affected my ability to work/find work I can function through.

How many wigs do you own? Zero.

Are your maternal/parental instincts strong? No, but more than they once were; I've helped my mom babysit my nieces and nephew so much that I guess they just naturally started to grow. Like I DO know I get way more upset when a baby cries than in the past, especially if they ARE my niece/nephew, like I get this desperate urge to fix whatever's wrong and I really feel like my heart hurts. It's weird, historically I've had stronger maternal-ish (major emphasis on "ish," don't make this weird) protection instincts over s/os, I've found especially if they're sick.

Do you feel confident in your body image? My self-confidence is in the fucking negatives and it's been getting to me even more than usual (which is already severely) the past few days.

Do you like country music? I hate it. In very rare instances, I'll hear a song I enjoy, but in general? I cannot stand it.

What was the last essay you remember writing about? Toxic masculinity. I wish I still had access to it, it was probably one of my favorite academic things I have ever written. My teacher loved it and used it as the example piece the following semester.

In your dream kitchen, would the worktops be marble or steel? Marble.

Who is considered the “black sheep” of your family? Why? Me. I am pretty starkly different from the general vibe and interests of my family.

What’s something you’re so good at that you take pride in your skill? I'm genuinely proud of my writing.

What’s the worst/best thing you’ve done without your parents knowing? My mom would probably kill me if she knew certain places I "did things" as a teen lmfao. Best, uhhhh... that's hard dude, my mom knows so, so, so much. I'm stumped enough to give in and also say the same things that qualified for "worst" kms 🥴

What’s a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? Honestly a lot from White Chicks, that movie is so fucking memeable and I love it.

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? I do that now, so yes. Although in Girt's situation, it's for his mom versus she housing him; she has mental health problems and couldn't work for many years, so she came back to Girt all the way from like Indiana or something and stayed with him because he's a fucking saint. He's basically run the place for he and Shelia for many years on his own, but she's now had a stable job for maybe like a year now and he's very READY to move out, the housing market is just so wordlessly insane right now that doing so is very unreasonable, so for right now they stay together.

Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? No.

Do you think there is life on other planets? In some form, absolutely. It's like, impossible for us to be the ONLY life-sustaining planet in an infinite space.

Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Hell yeah, those with Girt are the absolute best.

Would you watch a porno with your partner? No, porn grosses me out personally. I don't want to see two totally random people going at each other. I would get absolutely nothing but a disgust reaction from that. It's totally fine if others are into it (just not to an addiction level obviously, that's problematic), I'm just not.

Do you like gummy candy? Yeah, it's a texture I like more than most others.

Do you know what the person you have feelings for is doing at this moment? He's at work.

How many brothers does your father have? I'm quite sure he has none, or he just hasn't talked about him like, at all.

Are any of your relatives vets? Not that I know of.

Who cleans the most in your house? My mom.

Do you have any current or past teachers on your facebook friends? Quite a lot, and I doubt they're happy with me. 🥴

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? No.

Do your parents vote? I know Mom does, idk about Dad.

Who's the most romantic person you ever went out with? Jason.

How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant? That would be Girt so that would be a VERY quick breakup if it wasn't me. If it was me, I'd be fucking devastated, terrified, and get an abortion as absolutely soon as possible.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed dressed up fancy? Possibly in high school on his senior picture day, but I don't remember it.

Did you have a dream last night? No, last night's sleep was totally peaceful.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to your ex? I haven't *always* wanted to say it, but for years now I've just wanted to tell him I'm so sorry.

What would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl? My VERY strong instinct says that I would absolutely storm over to them and deck him dead in the face. I very literally think I would. And then call the cops.

What is the last state you were in besides your own? Virginia.

What two breeds of dog do you think would make a really great puppy? Maybe like... an akita and chow-chow. I looked it up and apparently they're legit and I'm in love.

Who is the best person you’ve ever “met” online? That's too hard. I have met THE greatest people through the Internet.

Describe your elementary school in 10 words or less. Very invested in their students, extremely friendly, bright, fun.

What is the greatest kids’ show ever and why? Okay don't judge but when I'm watching my niece with Mom, she LOVES the show Bluey, and honestly it is absolutely adorable and shows you such an ideal but also realistic picture of a good, honest, just picturesque family.

The best album ever made is ______ because _________: Ozzy's Black Rain because you skip NO song. EVERY single one fucking slaps.

Did you ever see a scorpion in the wild? No, they're not native here.

What is the newest thing you’ve learned? Two nights back at Girt's, we were talking about their old dog Charlotte and how much she fucking adored Donald; both Ashley and Shelia said that she did not just love him, that dog was in love with him. Apparently Charlotte's ashes were buried next to Donald because that's what both would have wanted. ;___;

Name a state you have never been to, but would like to go to. Arizona, probably surprisingly. There is a number of native animals there I would REALLY like to see.

Name a word that people use locally that outsiders probably can’t pronounce. Conetoe. You said it wrong.

Describe your world in 5 words. CONFUSING, stressful, poetic (not in all ways, but I'd say definitely in many), melancholy, but mine and one of a goddamn kind so I'll take it.

What time did you go to bed last night? Uh it was before 12. We played Jackbox Party Pack games for a few hours with some of his online buds, but he also tried excruciatingly spicy ramen, more than he should've because the psycho didn't wanna waste it but also to "build up [his] heat tolerance" and I was like BUT WHY?????? is that necessary????? Thankfully he knew I was right so didn't finish it and then he just wanted to go to bed lmao, he felt like shit.

Who did you last ride in a car with? Girt. Bless him, it's a 30 minute drive to his place and he was BELTIN shit which I usually don't mind at all, but between driving to his place and back, I got such a bad headache lol.

Are you currently heart broken? No, my heart is fuller than it normally is.

Do you know how to change a diaper? I mean, to be completely realistic I could probably figure it out, but immediately? No. I have changed ONE diaper in my entire life and never will again (and that one wasn't even very dirty).

Would you be tazed for a million bucks? Yes.

What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? My mom is always 100% certain she's right. Disagreeing is disrespect. My dad can be weird and sometimes rude to people, and he has no concept of "there are people who can hear you other than me" in public.

Do you completely trust the person you’re dating? Yes.

When was the last time you received a hug? Who was this hug from? This morning, Girt.

Are you one of those people who like The Nightmare Before Christmas? I do, but nowhere near obsessively or even as much as people seem to think I do. The movie is fine, but it's nothing amazing, honestly. Coincidentally, both my phone's lock and home screen are scenes from the movie, lol. Just for the holiday.

What is your favourite type of nut? Idk, I really don't like nuts very much. I guess cashews, I can handle them fine in like, nut/grain/etc. bars.

Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Guys I am not fucking kidding, it was literally at an indoor trampoline park sort of place that hosts parties, lmao. We went there for Girt's nephew's party, and that pizza, everything about it, was BOMB.

Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Oh yes, loved it.

Do you know anyone who smokes in their car? Dad and Kim.

[l-r-christian]

Sorry to ask again but I was wondering if you could do a poly!mikaelson fic were the reader is camilles sister because I've been so obsessed with the fics lately and I need some more to feed my obsession tysm love your writing btw and happy writers appreciation day💕❤

Yes and no problem 💕

Warnings: Fluff, Sassy Reader, Mikaelsons being protective,

A/N: sorry this took so long....it got buried in other requests.....also got carried away with this

Y/N O'Connell was Camille's 21 year old sister who was currently sitting in the bar being stared down by her older sister. Y/N had been suspended from school for being rude to her professor which Y/N explained that her French professor was trying to sleep with her to change a grade.

"You can't keep getting in trouble Y/N."

"Then maybe my professor should keep his cock in his pants." Y/n said texting a friend as Klaus walked in with Elijah both stopping see the young woman. Y/N sat wearing short jean shorts and crop-top lavender colored hair up in two buns.

"I understand but still, honestly Y/N how are you going to graduate?"

"Not sleep with my French Professor and continue on my art degree. Worst comes to worst I'll become a cam-girl." Y/N said getting a pointed look from Camille as both Elijah and Klaus was a bit shocked with how candied Y/N was with Camille.

"I am kidding Cammi. Besides Onlyfans is where the real money is at."

"Y/N! You will not do that!"

"Again kidding Cammi. What your sugar daddy artist not giving you a good fuck?" Y/N said tone light joking as Camille blushed angry and embarrassed by her baby sister noticing Klaus and Elijah. Both Originals looked at the bartender wondering who the young woman was.

"Elijah, Klaus meet my baby sister, Y/N. Sorry for her behavior." Camille said face burning with blush as Y/N looked up from her phone not embarrassed at all. Y/N let out a low whistle getting both men's attention seeing her clearly checking them out.

"Cammi, you lucky bitch. You get hot men while I'm stuck with frat boys that don't know how to please a lady."

"Y/N! Please stop talking." Camille hissed at her sister who just rolled her eyes going back to texting as Klaus smirked leaning on the bar finding it all amusing as Elijah looked the younger O'Connell over again.

"I'm gonna head over to uncle Kieran's and listen to him tell me that I am a heathen." Y/N says getting up then winked at Klaus and Elijah before walking out leaving behind a every tired Camille.

"My sis is a bit adventurous so can you both do me a huge favor and keep her safe?"

"Of course Camille. You have my word that nothing will happen to her." Elijah says as Klaus smirked mischievously looking at Camille who frowned.

"Don't Klaus. My sister isn't one for dating a one-night stand kinda girl." Camille said making both Mikaelson men smirk.

"Of course she is.

Y/N was bit of a handful and Camille knew this as Elijah had finally found the young woman at a bar, drunk dancing on top of the bar with another woman. Men let wolf whistles when Y/N kissed the other woman and Elijah took out his phone calling Camille who was worried sick about her baby sister but since she was stuck working. Camille asked the Mikaelsons to help as all of them had gotten close to her sister over the last month.

"I found her Camille."

'Great! Please get her home....I should be done by 4am so if you.....'

"I'll take care of it, dear Camille." Elijah says hanging up walking over to the bar catching the drunk college student before another man could even touch her when she fell.

"Oh! 'Lijah! I was....gonna call and ask to sit on that handsome face."

"Some other time when you aren't drunk, sweetheart." Elijah says smirking noting to bring this up when Y/N was sober, Y/N hummed laying her head on his shoulder wrapping her bare smooth legs around his waist clinging to him like a koala.

"Sounds awesome....can you take me home? I want sleep." Y/N mumbled against Elijah's neck as he chuckled rubbing her back as he payed her bar tab.

"Of course." Elijah says walking out much to the disappointment of the men in the bar as one guy got brave following Elijah out. Before he could even touch Elijah the man groaned lay on his stomach arm twisted behind his back.

"Hello Rebekah."

"You found our little lamb." Rebekah said digging her heel in the man's back as Y/N smiled at the blonde vampire.

"Beka....I get to ride 'Lijah's face ...later." Y/N said as Rebekah raised an eyebrow at her brother as Elijah chuckled.

"She asked so when she isn't drunk, I said she could."

"....'Lijah....can I sleep with your sister?" Y/N mumbled as both Elijah and Rebekah looked at her and Rebekah walked over kissing Y/N's cheek.

"When you aren't drunk, love." Rebekah said following Elijah as they took the young woman back to her apartment she shared with Camille.

"Awwww fuck....if I open my eyes, there better not be an idiot in my bed."

"I'm hurt Y/N, Rebekah and I stay as your request." Y/N heard Elijah's low baritone voice in her ear as she opened her eyes finding her self on Elijah's chest.

"Fuck......we didn't?"

"No no. Rebekah and I wouldn't have took advantage of you like that." Elijah says watching Y/N get pulling off her pajamas clearly more comfortable being undressed in front of Elijah than most women would be in front of a man.

"Thanks for...last night."

"Of course besides I promised you that you could ride my face." Elijah smirked watching her put on comfy clothes and put her auburn hair in a messy bun. Y/N gave Elijah a mischievous smirk leaning forward like she was gonna kiss him but pushed him back on the bed before skipping off. Elijah layed though blinking before following after seeing Y/N laying her head on the counter as Rebekah made her breakfast.

"Lazy day?"

"Yeah."

Klaus and Kol had got word of Y/N's drunken adventure and how open she was to both Elijah and Rebekah as on the human's first week in New Orleans, the Mikaelsons agreed to share her as each of them fell for her.

"Busy love?" Klaus asked walking into the apartment with Kol following behind as both found the human sitting on the floor with art books. Y/N had reading glasses on in just a football jersey, lace panties and socks hair in a messy ponytail.

"Yeah....writing my paper on why there was gay artists in the Renaissance and why I think that's neat." Y/N answered going back to tapping away on her laptop as Klaus smirked leaning down reading over her shoulder.

"You should ask Elijah about it after all he has first hand knowledge on it." Klaus said nipping at her neck while Kol layed next to her on the pillows. Y/N looked at Klaus smirking there was that twinkle in her eye.

"Here I thought you were the artist? Shame thought you would also have known first hand too."

"Oh love wouldn't you love to know." Klaus said as Y/N jumped feeling Kol's hand on her bare thigh as Klaus let close and Y/N made no move to stop them.

"Not in my living room!" Camille said spraying Klaus and Kol with water from a bottle as Y/N let out a loud laugh picking her stuff up heading back to her room. While Klaus talked to Camille, Kol followed after Y/N flopping down on her bed seeing her working on her paper.

"Can I ask a question darling?"

"Yeah, shoot." Y/N says feeling Kol's thumb rubbing her lower back, over the last month the Originals couldn't help but notice how comfortable Y/N was with their affections as not once had she told them to stop. Y/N let them take her out, when it was late one or two of them slept in her bed.

"How are you so comfortable with us? Hell some would say you are dating us."

"Because you four are the first people that I can actually see myself being with long term. And I say the last statement is true."

"Wait really?!"

"Yeah, like I can which schools to be closer after all you guys grew on me." Y/N said squeaking when the wildest Mikaelson tackled her kissing her roughly. Y/N mewled gripping Kol's shirt as hips moved against one another as Kol latched his mouth on Y/N's neck.

"Y/N! Can you not." Camille said sighing as y/N groaned in frustration before mumbled something in French under her breath.

Of course the vampire's were over the moon knowing Y/N liked them back and were more protective of her. Laying in bed one between Rebekah and Elijah, a thought entered Y/N's mind as Rebekah was laying on Y/N chest as Elijah was pressed against her back.

".....'Lijah you own me a face ride." Y/N blurted out making Rebekah laugh as Elijah smirked kissing her shoulder while Klaus and Kol joined.

"I know baby, I'll be more than happy to let you ride my face as long as you want. But it is nearly 4 in morning so sleep."

"Fine but I will not let this go. I'm hold you to this." Y/N said squeaking when Kol lightly bite her abdomen mumbling for her to go to sleep as they relaxed. Once Y/N fell back to sleep with Rebekah and Kol, Klaus looked to Elijah showing him the small ring box he and Kol making Elijah smiled as they too fell asleep knowing soon they will be spending the rest of forever with the woman they just adored.

[anisecandy]

How do I (23F) tell my best friend (26F) that I denounced a Character (?M) from the position of a blorbo after 4 years because he got more than 2 seconds of screen time? Context: About 4 years ago, or maybe 5, I don't remember at the moment, I watched a pilot for a show, and it had a Character that matched my aesthetic preferences to an eerie degree. While I didn't follow the creators or stayed up to date with any info they added (I don't have twitter etc), I think a lot of it still got reposted to Tumblr, and along with the fanarts and fanfictions it eventually had me getting really attached. I even started drawing fanarts myself and got really into a ship including this Character. My Best Friend of course knew about it, I always show her my drawings, I sent her the most fun/cute fanarts I found and occasionally even said in jest pretty deranged stuff, like I think the Character is adorable enough that I could keep him as a pet. She was, as she always is, very supportive and didn't mind talking about the Character, often finding and sending me content with him herself. However, recently the show finally got a full series and got released. As it turns out, the impression I got of the Character was quite wrong and in other circumstances I probably wouldn't get attached to him at all! Even so, those 4 (or 5) years of waiting rewired my brain a bit, so I'm sort of almost obsessed with the Character, but without actually liking him all that much. It's a weird experience, that includes a lot of cringing and making out loud "eww!" noises whenever I catch myself thinking he's cute or anything like that. It especially messes with my head because I'm often pretty "tsundere" about characters I like, so this feels like unlocking a higher level of it. That's not enjoyable at all! Because this experience has me extremely embarrassed, I haven't yet told my Best Friend that she can stop being supportive about my perceived blorbo crush. Yesterday night she sent me a fanart of the Character in a swimsuit and upon seeing it I wanted to put my face into a blender. What do I do?

Have you ever found yourself being utterly not normal™ about a character, but not in that "I'm gonna breed them teehee" way most talk about their blorbos, and more of a... I don't even know. Feeling like the world put them in your path in that specific moment, in that specific way just to spite you