#for me it’s the purpose of my life & it has been since 14

[tulsa24]

happy 8123 day!

[jolalibrary]

4. green smoke

frankie morales x f!reader | chapter four of do me yourself

summary: a meet-cute in a hardware store? impossible, out of the question. except, that's exactly what happens. a need for screws leads you to a broad-shouldered, brown-eyed man who you're sure is about to change your day, never mind your life.

wordcount: 3.7k chapter warnings: [see masterlist for series warnings] meet cute, flirting. fluff. flirting in person and over IG. frankie calls you 'rainy' (paint related from chp.1) no other descriptions or name used, you wear a date outfit but not specified and the shoes have heels but not mentioned what kind. minor discussion of past canon events incl. drugs. no use of y/n. an: if this as a friends episode this would be called "the one where they talk"

prev chapter | frankie's ig

key: frankie is in bold, you are in italics

Friday soon arrives.

It comes hand-in-hand with a tumultuous storm, bringing with it ominous rumbles echoing through your house. The air feels charged with tension, wrung tight, all sense—as if it’s holding its breath while the world around seems to retreat into darkness. Even if the time on your laptop says 14:43.

Your gaze fixates on beads of rain running down the window, all racing one another—like you have been for several minutes. The steady patter provides a rhythmic backdrop to your solitude, interrupted only by the occasional sighs that escape your lips and the soft tapping of your pencil against the notebook—a feeble attempt at pretending you’re concentrating.

Pretend is the optimum word.

Merely putting on a show of focusing on the task at hand. In reality, your eyes keep flicking to your phone—the one lying silent on the counter, eagerly anticipating the next notification that’ll make it illuminate.

Your work, the one thankfully with a deadline of next week, continues to sit ignored—barely considered, never mind plotted. Because it isn’t what fills your mind.

It’s him.

Just thoughts of him—mind populated with vivid memories that refuse to fade, unable to stop lingering on the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles or his infectious laugh. The one which has dug itself a place into the walls of your home, lit it up.

Then, you think of his lips, the ones that are purposeful, all heavenly. The mere thought of them sends a shiver down your spine, a longing present, spreading—

Unloading a delivery and you’re falling on me.

It's difficult not to smile at his message.

Something he effortlessly elicits from you now. Has done so since the very beginning. A thing he continues to do so the more the two of you speak.

It's giddy, almost teenage-like, the way your heart scampers to catch itself as your fingers try to pretend they're not darting to reply.

Excuse me? Rain. Oh, that is such a dad joke. It was. I’m pretty proud of it. Bet it made you smile. I will not confirm or deny. So that means it did. Shut up.

Thumbs swirling over the screen, you roll your lips, toes twitching on the floor as you grin.

So, how big is the candle going to be in the middle of the table? Ummm, appropriately sized for a restaurant? Hmm, I have only gone on dates with inappropriately sized candles. Are you flirting with me when I’m at work? Are you saying that like you don’t flirt with me when I’m at work? In my defence, you choose your own hours. Do you mind me flirting with you? Not even a little bit. Good. Because guess what I’m wearing right now? Hopefully nothing. I’m wearing sweats and a baggy T-shirt. Still hot. Get back to work, Butterscotch.

You know it’s not long—a handful of hours until you’ll be across from him.

Likely with your smile hurting your cheeks, eyes unable to stand looking away from him for more than a few minutes. Unable to explain or rationalise how straightforward it is with him, how natural it feels to get swept up in all of this and find yourself wanting to be around him.

Something you try to put to the back of your mind, to not clock-watch, not count down. Doing well at it until you hear your phone buzz and see his name appear on your screen.

The laundry you're putting away ignored, the item dropped from your hand to the floor, before wiping your hands on your thighs, taking a measured breath, then lifting the phone to swipe it.

His voice fills your ear almost immediately. All hello and your name, a can you hear me? following.

And your heart skips a beat—missing a whole thud against your ribs as you stare at the outfit hanging on the closet door.

“I’m really sorry—“

And your heart falls. Descends gradually, like a feather freefalling. Doing so until it has nowhere else to go but sit in the hollow void. Disappointment beating, pulsating.

“—Harold… he had to leave early, his heart was playing up and he said he’d come back. But I can’t make him do that, wouldn’t be able to enjoy ourselves if he just—"

“—Frankie—“

“—And I’ve tried to move the reservation, rang the restaurant. But, they’re booked up and I really want to take you there—”

“—Frankie?”

You brush the fabric, the hanger holding on to the top of the door with sheer will as you do so between thumb and finger. Half-smiling—even still. Listening to the way he takes a breath, to the way he cares so much.

“It’s okay,” you interrupt, swallowing, shoving the dismay down. “I… promise.”

The voice you hear back is soft. So tinged with sadness, and regret, you half-want to call him Butterscotch just to make him laugh. “You sure?”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you reassure him, comfort him—voice steady as you do so, "We can reschedule. It's not a problem."

A moment of silence follows, with a sense of letdown settling in the air like fog. It sits there, resting, hanging. Because even if you know it’s just a minor adjustment, a twinge of disappointment still seeps in. Not so much a sharp pang, but a lingering weight that makes your shoulders sag, as though everything had deflated like a balloon slowly losing air.

“Baby… I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the circumstances. "There's always next time."

“Not drove you away then?” he half-laughs, one you imagine is a little forced.

“Not even a little bit.”

Sighing, you swear you hear him smile with it. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

You grin, nothing but light and easy, “Just make sure next time you can show up, that’ll be a good start."

Frankie laughs, it flowing down your ear before it’s joined by a promise that he will and he can call you later, if you like? A thing which sounds like a good idea, even more so when it's followed by the fact he wishes he could stay—talk, but you know. Nodding to no one but yourself as you bid him goodbye, leaning against the wall—hanging up, full of bittersweet.

You let your head fall against it, rolling it there as your eyes flick back up at your clothes, lingering over it.

And an idea appears.

It grows—smothering over sadness before it blooms.

Then, you’re grinning. One almost as large as you do when he makes you giggle. Almost.

You’re thankful the sign still says open when you step out of your car—fingers tugging at fabric, ensuring it sits how it’s supposed to.

Even for a surprise, you wanted to look as picture-perfect as you should have been entering the restaurant. The paper bags catch your leg, noise crinkling against the air as you yank on the handle—entering, being washed in wood chippings, bleach and paint.

For a moment, one stuck between time and space, you look. Glance. Unsure where to find him, until your eyes land on him and find his head lifting at the sound of your entering.

Whatever Frankie had been in his hand dropped, all forgotten. His mouth parting at the sight of you. Taking you in. Sweeping brown, surprised eyes all over you as heat rises up your neck and brushes over your ears.

“I know I’m a little overdressed for buying a hammer, but…”

Mouth falling open, he looks torn between grinning and speaking. “What are you…”

Shrugging, watching his eyes roam up and down the outfit you’d chosen. The one that had been on the hanger for days—one you’d not thought could be replaced by anything else.

“Well,” you begin, smirking, “My date got caught up at work and I’d been really looking forward to seeing him.”

Frankie smiles, hand rubbing along his jaw as he stares.

“But then, someone told me there’s a secret restaurant here. One behind a metal door that says, Staff Only?”

Dropping his hand, and swiping his tongue across his lips—he slowly moves around the register. Coming to join you as you hold the bags up, the heels of your shoes clicking on the shop floor tiles as you meet him halfway.

“I also suspect that you might not have eaten, since you've been alone for most of the day.”

It’s at that moment his stomach roars. It grinds, what you assume is coffee, before groaning inside of him as he claps a hand on his apron.

“The only problem is,” you say, narrowing your eyes, scrunching your nose. “I… I didn’t know what you would like, so I might have bought a ridiculous amount of food.”

Taking a bag, his eyes widen when he opens it. “You’re staying, right? To help me?”

Reaching inside the bag he didn’t take, you pull out a single, battery-powered candle. “It’s a date.”

He gives you a wide smile, his eyes twinkling with happiness. "I just need to lock up," he says.

You watch with a flutter of excited nervousness as he moves around the store, flipping the sign on the door from 'Open' to 'Closed', and then securing the door. The lock clicks into place, echoing in the quiet store. He then proceeds to shut off the lights, plunging the store into a soft, inviting darkness lit only by the glow from the streetlights outside.

Turning back to you, he extends a hand.

"Shall we?" he asks, his voice filled with anticipation. You place your hand in his, feeling the warmth spreading through your fingers.

As you walk together towards the back of the store, a tinge of excitement flutters in the air. The 'Staff Only' sign looms above the door like a secret entrance to a place you shouldn't be, but with a gentle gesture, he ushers you inside.

You don't miss the way his fingers brush your lower back, the heat they ignite up your spine as his chest meets your back, face close to yours. Lingering, eyes sweeping over you.

"Lemme just..." he whispers, elongating it, before he bends to pull you a chair out—one with three wheels, no back—fingers sliding up to brush over your shoulders as you sit down.

“Careful.”

Swallowing, you suppress the effect he's having on you, forcing a smirk. “Oh, I’ll try, Morales. Don’t want you to have to fill out the accident book.”

“Harold would murder me.”

Snorting, you watch him join you—taking the candle from your hand, flicking it on and placing it directly in the middle before the two of you begin taking food out. He gazes at bundled packaged burgers, stealing a fry from the bag before it’s laid out over the desk.

“So, as it’s our third date.” His eyes flick to you, mid-bite of his food as you twirl a fry in your fingers. “I get to ask you challenging questions, right?”

“Fuck,” he says, under his breath. Grinning. “Alright, let me have it.”

Nudging him with the tip of your shoe he laughs. “Okay. You and Luca’s mom?”

“Ah.”

Grabbing a napkin, he wipes his mouth. “You don’t have to worry.”

“And as everyone in history knows, those words are how people stop worrying.”

Smirking, he turns on the wheely stool, facing you, knees abutting yours. “We haven’t been together since he was born—we… we weren’t even together by the time he reached six months. He… he doesn’t know any different. We have things we say, and truly, she’s a fantastic mom, we have a great co-parenting situation.”

“Okay.”

His fingers land on your knee, dancing over them, light and feathery as he sighs. Heavy. Weighted. It makes you swallow, makes you want to dig your fingers into your leg to stop yourself worrying, thinking—overdramatising whatever it is.

Scratching his head, he rolls his tongue from his cheek to the front of his teeth. “I wasn’t a good person then… a lot of shit had happened—I’d left the service, found myself… haunted, I guess? Me and her, we met, we… seemed good. She seemed good. And then, I…”

Your hand slides over his, one of your fries still in hand as you do. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I want to.”

Nodding, he half smiles.

And then he does.

He tells you about his days in the army—and the sleepless nights when he was back home. The sense of loss he felt without it, the uniform that meant nothing when he joined a regular job. How flying helicopters for people with money who had no cares in the world began to make him hollow, carving a piece inside of him that didn’t fill with laughter at barbecues and trivia nights. He tells you how he’d rambled to someone about the lack of sleep, before he found a little white bag in his locker—an opportunity, a chance to not overthink.

That it had stayed there for days, almost a week until there had been news about someone he had once worked with.

Then he explained how it wasn’t a problem, but it also very much was. How he was lost, drowning—that people reached out, but the lights had been on, but no one was home. How it became a coping mechanism, a small dose to take the ache away—before he learnt he was going to be a dad. Her worries about him making her ignore the signs, much further on than they thought—and then, one month later, how he failed a drug test.

Trace amounts, barely anything, but still plenty.

His license, revoked—paused. His future dwindled, a baby due to arrive, one he’d heard the heartbeat off at the same time as he found himself at the threat of being alone. A second chance dangled, offered—do better, Frank. Don’t be selfish.

“—but, I didn’t change. Don’t change.”

Your heart falls, and descends.

Watching him shake his head, grabbing a handful of fries before stuffing them into his mouth as he chews, and you pick at one from your own box.

“Things were good—Luca, he had ten toes, ten fingers. He was great, happy. It made us being good seem real? But, it lingered, y’know? If work kept me later, there was this distrust, this question. And I couldn’t blame her, didn’t. Never would either. I broke that, I know I did. But…”

“It wasn’t healthy?”

Shrugging, he swallows, before nodding. “Then, I helped a friend, one from my squad. Had to… it was dangerous. I was gone longer than I said—and she worried, panicked. I knew before I left that when I got back I’d likely find my stuff packed—not that I blame her. I know we tried. But, I broke it. But now we’re better… better co-parents than partners, you know?”

Nodding, you chew, rolling the salt on your lips together. A beat passes, ice clanging in the drinks, cartons scratching against the table as the two of you eat.

“That was probably a lot.”

“It’s okay. Are you… are you good now?”

Nodding, he chews another fry. “Clean since Luca was born. Five years, fifty-seven days.”

“Well, I know this might be weird to say, but I’m proud of you.”

Smiling, he chews his cheek, meeting your eyes for the first time since he began sharing. “You’re a bit too good for me, you know that?”

Smirking, you steal one of his fries. “Oh, a hundred per cent. You might have a bunch of followers and good taste in paint colours, but did you know that I can sand down a dresser to the point a prominent Instagram DIYer has told me ‘I did a good job’.”

“Doesn’t sound that trustworthy. Bet he doesn’t know what you call wrenches.”

Pouting, you narrow your eyes as he laughs. “Thank you for telling me.”

Nodding, he rolls his lips. “I had to… ‘cause… are we enacting third date-talk honesty?”

“Of course.”

Half-smiling, he nudges himself closer on the stool. “I really like you.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you look up at the ceiling, before grabbing his knees and wheeling yourself closer. “I quite like you too.”

Smile spreading, he places his hands on top of yours. “Yeah? Because I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to… run from all of that.”

Smirking, you try to move closer, even if the wheels of both stools try to prevent you. “Did you know, honesty is really, really hot?”

Brows raising, chin lifting, his lips slide further into his cheek. “I’m glad you came.”

“I’m glad too.”

Swallowing, his fingers slide in between yours, eyes flicking from one eye to the other. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous, that.”

“Well, I’ve seen your house now.”

Nodding, you smile. Feeling it, whatever he’s going to say, ask, think lingering in the silence. His grin widens, a spark igniting in his eyes that sends a rush of warmth through you.

“So, I think it only seems fair you see mine.”

Wiping your hands on your napkin, licking your lips as you cross a leg over the other. “Well, for fair sake I definitely should.”

“Do you want to… now?”

“Tonight?”

Nodding, that same flush of pink rises up his neck, up his jaw.

Smirking, you loosen your hand from his—resting your palm on his cheek, elbow on your knee. “I’d like that.”

The car ride to his should be tense, but it isn't.

Instead, it's filled with soft laughter, teasing comments and shared glances—your fingers twitching, wondering whether a hand on his knee is too soon. Even when everything else feels so normal, natural.

When he pulls up outside his place, anticipation fills the air—a rush of warmth flooding through you, making your fingers clamp together and stare out at the place as he says, this is it.

It’s nice, well-kept—charming, from what you can already tell. Eyes spot chalk drawings on the patio, lit up by the outside lights and a plastic red car close to where he's parked.

“Luca has some good parking,” you smile, pointing to it next to you both. “You learn from him, or?”

Smirking, he undoes his belt. “Maybe, I taught him how to park. I’m very good with heavy transportation.”

You don’t miss the way he emphasises the sentence. Your 'oh' is swallowed by the sound of him opening the door and telling you to wait.

Watching as he moves around the vehicle, his eyes holding yours. Earlier, you'd been thankful that the rain had taken a pause; now you wished it hadn't stopped its lashings that glued clothing to skin, thighs pressing together on the seat before the door beside you opens.

“What a gentleman.”

“Just wanted another chance to chance to check you out, really.”

Swatting him, he takes your hand, his laugh blending with yours as he leads you up to his front door.

If he feels nervous, he doesn’t show it. Finding his keys and slides one into the lock without missing. Opening the door without as much as an awkward shove of the door.

If anything, it’s effortless. It not even squeaking or catching as he pushes it open.

“It’s not a lot…” he begins.

But he couldn’t be more wrong.

It’s cosy and warm. Exuding an unmistakable homeliness that immediately comforts you. Dark woods, off-whites, and splashes of orange, caramel, and greens intertwine harmoniously, creating a space that feels both freshly decorated and deeply loved. A balance you assume exists because of him being the one to bring it all together, knowing from the videos you've seen how talented he is.

As you glance around, you begin to see the traces of the Frankie you’ve been getting to know. Photographs of him at the beach, with his son, with friends and more with Luca at varying ages.

Then, there are the plants. An assorted mix of them, some big that you remember from photos, some greener than others—some tall and in plants with animal faces like raccoons and beavers, others in decorative pots placed on shelves.

As you step in further, you spot furniture you recognise from videos—even noting the stacked pile of books from a photo he’d shared recently and a record player on a side table.

“C’mon, let me show you around.”

He leads you, hand in yours, showing you his well-equipped kitchen, and dining space. Occasionally, he points things out, like the markings on a wall he’s using to measure how tall Luca gets and the scuff marks from dragging the dining table in after varnishing it. Before finally, the two of you are outside the half-open door to his bedroom.

Frankie giving you a wink, bodies almost flush.

“That where the magic happens?”

“Not usually…”

"Maybe that's cause people haven't been saying the right magic words." Shrugging, you lick your lower lip, staring at the beading on the door. "I should tell you, I've heard I'm quite good at magic words..."

You let it linger, sit. Before you turn on your heel, fingers brushing over a table as you head back in the direction of his living room.

He follows, a step or two behind, letting you and your eyes capture all the personal touches before you feel fingers on your wrist, tugging you back, body flush to his.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, you find your throat dry—eyes flicking to his mouth.

“Go take a seat, I’ll bring us a drink.”

It’s soft, the nod you do as he slips his hand from your waist. You move, almost on auto-pilot, to sit down on his sofa, running your fingers over a cushion—one stitched with greens, golds and oranges.

When he reappears, you look up at him, noticing the hint of nerves in his gaze as you plaster on a reassuring smile as he places them down on the coffee table.

Slowly, you reach out, squeezing his hand, "Your home is lovely, Frankie."

He chuckles, a soft blush creeping up his cheeks as he joins sitting down. "Yeah?"

Nodding, you press your knee against his. “So.”

“So.”

With a smirk, you draw a measured breath. “I believe... I want to kiss you now.”

Swallowing, his gaze flickers to your lips, lingering, before snapping back up to your eyes. Warmth spreads over your cheeks, neck and ears. “I believe you should, Rainy.”

A response there, nestled between teeth and tongue, is muffled as his lips meet yours—for the first time in several days.

an: as a warning, the next chapter will include smut. if you wish to skip the smut, you can miss the chapter as there will be no other scenes. the following chapter will pick up the next morning.

NEXT CHAPTER ->

[marengogo]

Are You Sure?! - #1: A Vampire’s Utopia

Who by Jimin focused playlist 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello my JM & JK Loving Gurls, Bois and Enbys! 

How have we all been since Thursday? 😌 Who’s watched both episodes at least 3 times? 🤡 Who’s gonna keep watching the episodes until Thursday? 💜 Who’s been left marvelling, yet again, about how intricately beautiful human beings are 🙋🏾‍♀️…

Oh! Only me?! 👀.

... Well what can I say? If it weren’t for my undying love for movies I would have definitely chosen a job related to psychology. Now whether I would have turned out to be a help or a menace to society, is anyone’s guess, after all, there is no sense, or point, in speculating things that have no way of presently happening due to decisions made in the past. However, do y'all know what we can speculate on? The present based on actions that actually happened in the past.

I’ve admittedly rewatched both episodes of AYS for the fourth time yesterday for research purposes obviously, and what brings me here is that now very infamous moment there are presently ao3 books being written on this particular moment ? The one when my cutie-patootie twin-flame very concisely summarises his and JM’s “solo/chapter 2 relationship”, up to that point (which to be precise, is the period of time between 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA… exactly 1 year: DAMN!) as per below:

First time I saw this part, the first thing I did was snort and then I immediately thought: DRAMA QUEEN and trust me, I would know. Oh, and let it be clear, I can only attempt to speculate on my twin-flame, especially in cases like this when I strongly feel that my boi has been … misunderstood. If it weren’t clear enough from the title, this is indeed a JK post you know JM-blood thirsting vampire etc etc etc.

Let's start with the fact that I beleive that JM was simply trying to start a simple bit of banter when he said:

And I would sincerely like to apologise to JM cause, indeed, this simple type of banter would have warranted a just as simple type of reply. Something like what JK eventually ended up saying after he allowed his thoughts to come forth and take the stage, but we will address this in a second:

But no.

You see, homeboi over here seems to be the type to hold on to things and will not let go until he’s cleared things, or situations, in the way he has known and/or perceived them to have happened, which tend to happen a lot when you are a very emotional person, who isn’t necessarily as eloquent. The most important thing to understand here, however, is the fact that whatever topic such people decide to discuss is all according to their most sensible account of facts and perceptions. They don't mean to offend or distort truths, they just ... emote for lack of better words. For example, it is a fact that, during that period, JK & JM were both busy, it is apparently also a fact that JK didn’t call, but according to JM it is not a fact that he himself didn’t call. 

Does that make JK a liar? In my opinion, not only can't I know what actually happened, but in fact, that is absolutely not the point of the case at hand. The way I see it, this is simply how JK has perceived this particular absence in his life, during that particular period. In fact, let’s dive even deeper.

Because of those two sentences, you’d I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MANY DO ... think that JM and JK actually never met each other during that particular period of time 14 July 2022 - 13 July 2023. Now, I am sure we all remember him sorta/kinda pining on weverse during the period from 3 February 2023 and 14 March 2023, right?:

But let’s quickly look at a timeline of the 14 July 2022: Hobi’s Listening Party and 13 July 2023: AYS in USA period. Below are dates when they definitely met, with other members, that we are aware of. I’ve also inserted his most relevant weverse pinings, and the period of time they were busy at the same time, just for me to have a time reference:

・14 JULY 2022: J-HOPE’S LISTENING PARTY - OT6 (Yoongi was sick)

・1 SEPTEMBER 2022: JUNGKOOK BIRTHDAY - JM waint with Hobi to celebrate his birthday

・15 OCTOBER 2022 - BUSAN CONCERT - OT7

・12 DECEMBER 2022 - JIN’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7 

・most likely FEBRUARY-MARCH 2023 - LIKE CRAZY DANCE PRACTICE - JK went to see JM practice

 3 Feb 2023 - 14 Mar 2023 ——— LIGHT WEVERSE PINING - The above collage period

・25 MARCH 2023 - MEMBERS MEET WITH JIN DURING HIS HOLIDAY - OT7

27 March 2023 ——— HEAVY WEVERSE PINING - JK posting “I miss you”, then watching Suchita and reacting to JM content.

・18 APRIL 2023 - HOBI’S ENLISTMENT SEND-OFF - OT7

April - May ——— both JK & JM are travelling around the world for work and/or pleasure.

・25 JUNE 2023 - D-DAY in SEOUL ‘DAY 2’ - VMINKOOK at Yoongi’s concert 

・13 JULY 2023 - AYS in NYC - JK & JM (and staff) have dinner at ANTOYA 

… If you asked me, it would appear that JK’s issue is actually the fact that they didn’t get a chance to go out alone, just the two of them. Yeah … My twin-flame seems to always have had strong, almost impulsive, reactions when it comes to anything concerning JM, it is actually probably the most vocal he becomes for a non-talkative guy that is.

Can you recall any other member, other than JM, he was ever upset about because he didn’t get to hear their music? Can you think about any other member other than JM, who JK would most likely be spending time rehearsing, eating, doing nothing during band activities? Can you think of any other member other than JM, for whom he’s made a bit more of an effort during birthdays and special dates? Once again ... If you ask me ... JK truly values his time alone with JM, which is why I think his perception felt so fatalistic/dramatic we all know that for example, JM did go to the Golden Listening Party in October ... 

And don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t believe it to be a one-way affair. Are You Sure?! exist exactly because JM would seem to also appreciate his alone time with JK, be it in front of a camera, in a hotel room, or whreever. After all, they were supposed to only go for one trip, but not only did they magically whip out time to go on two more Jeju and Sapporo, but they are now talking about doing this until they are 50. LOL I’ll be in my 60s but I’ll tune in! . And then, to top it all off … They ended up enlisting together. The way JM wanted to “make a video of their adventures and freedom” before enlistment, you’d think they’d be apart for the following 18 months because of said enlistment 😒.  

It’s actually quite funny if you think about it. Between the two of them JM is most definitely the shiest, but JM is most definitely the better one at expressing himself. Y’all can obviously disagree with me, but from where I stand, my twin-flame is actually smart as hell one day people will finally acknowledge that, but he is not the best with words. I’m sure in JK’s Utopia, the world is a place where people sing to each other in order to communicate, instead of spoken words. Alas, this is not JM-blood thirsting Vampire Utopia, and in the world where we presently live, JK seems to be the type who’s first reaction to stressful situations is finding the funny side of things and when that fails then he needs to do something about it; anything.

Now, as always, everyone is entitled to their opinions, in fact, many have made it very clear that to them JK was feeling “off” in these episodes, but to me, not only he was being his typical weird self, but I also I discovered a few new aspects, for example, when he truly cares about something, his devotion has really no limits. But let me use some images, and some words, to better explain how I perceived JK in these two episodes. Remember how JK once substituted the word Love with Jimin, in a Boy with Luv lyric Jimin nothing stronger? Well I’d like to do the same thing and sub the word Love with JK in the following very famous biblical paragraph and associate specific moments in both episodes to each line:

JK is patient, 

If this is not the testament sequence of a man who’s been waiting to spend time with you, no matter what, then I don’t know what else is.

JK is kind.

He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud.  

He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, 

LOL … one day JK will be able to pull a prank on JM; I believe in you.

He is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but ... there are no “wrongs” done between JM & JK, what they do with each other is joke, have accidents and play around - but gotta say this just in case!

Last but not least, though JK was coughing like there was no tomorrow, wouldn’t you think that JM being vehemently sick, would be grounds for the whole show to be cancelled? In fact, we didn’t even know there was going to be a show, so nobody would have missed anything and at some point they could have used the footage in a bangtan-bomb, or during Festa, or something. … The fact that they were willing to keep going and even show us themselves in such a vulnerable state, the fact that because of it JM was so worried and doubting almost everything, and the fact that JK ultimately wasn’t worried and regretted nothing, kinda reinforced for me just how much they truly wanted to be together on that trip at that time it was basically overdue. 

In conclusion, though my Twin-flame’s strongest suit isn’t communication, and his recollection of events may or may not be as accurate due to emotional perception, his heart is ALWAYS in the right place, sturdy, confident and ready to let JK be the best he can be, at all times. I mean, you don’t have to take my word for anything I've just said but below is JK a mere 10 days after they separated from NYC/Connecticut ... look at him ... giddy AF and hella playful if you ask me and once again … weverse pining.

I guess one alone trip wasn’t enough after all 😉.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[brbsoulnomming]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 24

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | AO3

Rating: mature

-----

The next morning, he and Robin drape themselves over a pair of pool chairs to get their lounge on while Steve works on getting the pool in good enough shape for their upcoming party.

It means watching Steve in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of cut off shorts, so Eddie's very on board.

Robin scoffs next to him. "I am so glad you got your shit together so I don't have to tiptoe around you drooling right now."

"I'm not drooling!" Eddie insists, though he does wipe his hand over his mouth just to check.

No drool.

"Metaphorically," Robin clarifies, grinning at him. "By all means, oogle away. Just know Steve's probably showing off a little on purpose."

Eddie squints at him, and sure enough - there's probably no need for Steve to be lifting things that often.

"I hate that it's working," Eddie grumbles.

"Of course it's working." Robin rolls her eyes.

Right, of course it is. Eddie's always known that Steve was very attractive - it used to irritate the hell out of him, that he was susceptible to the same allure as the rest of the masses of Hawkins High. The fact that he thought Steve was a douche used to counter it, but, well.

Now he's pretty much in love with the guy.

Eddie leans forward a little, fiddling with some blades of grass by his chair. "Steve's, uh. It's true, right, that he's had a lot of sex with a lot of girls?"

Robin nods. "It's true. He was in a slump when I first met him, but before - well, before you, he was complaining about all his meaningless relationships that were just about sex when he wanted a real connection."

That's… Eddie doesn't know exactly what that is, actually, or how he feels about it. He thinks it should be weird, talking about this when they're both dating Steve, but - it doesn't feel weird, not really. "That doesn't bother you?"

"Does it bother me that he's been with more girls than I can count before I even got my first kiss? Not really. I mean, sure, I guess a little, in an ugh why is it so easy for him and so hard for me, but, you know. We both had our different ways of finding our other soulmate. Apparently neither of them were successful, since the Upside Down brought you to Steve, and I'm still striking out." She pauses, then adds, "Plus he's like really good at eating girls out, so I'm not going to complain about getting to benefit from him demonstrating his technique."

He takes it back, it's weird and uncomfortable and that was way too much information about their sex life.

Whatever face he's making gets her to laugh at him, eyes crinkling.

"Don't worry, it probably translates over decently well. Besides, I've seen him practically deep throat a banana so you're probably good. Oh, has he gotten to do that thing with his tongue yet?"

Eddie squeaks. He's pretty sure his face is bright red, considering how much it's burning, and Robin's laughter turns into a cackle.

Steve overhears the laughter and turns towards them, hip cocked as he squints at them.

"What's so funny?" he calls.

"Just asking Eddie if he's gotten to experience your tongue skills yet!" she calls back.

"Robin!" Steve yelps, dropping the pool net to come over to them.

"What?" she asks. "Weren't you the one who was whining at me about how you wanted to choke on his dick and then eat him out until he cried?"

The blood that had been flooding his cheeks immediately rushes south, and Eddie has to lean over to adjust his pants and try to make that less obvious.

Yes, please, sign him up for all of that.

"In confidence! I told you that in confidence!" Steve sputters.

Eddie leans back, tipping his head up at Steve with a slow smirk. "I'm feeling a little hurt, here, Harrington, how come I haven't gotten a fruit demonstration?"

Steve gapes at him for a moment, just long enough for Eddie to start to regain his footing.

Then Steve's eyes narrow.

"If I was demonstrating for you, Munson, it wouldn't be on fruit," he replies.

Steve turns his back on them and returns to the pool, leaving Eddie to make a protesting noise - that is not a whine, no matter how much he can read that in Robin's eyes while she laughs at him.

"Do I need to shove you in the pool to cool you off?" she teases.

"Shut up," he mutters, adjusting himself again.

Then he tips his head back and closes his eyes, because if he looks at Steve again in the next fifteen minutes or so, he might need to take Robin up on that.

—

They eat lunch all jammed together on the couch, plates balanced on their laps. Steve's eating with his left hand, because his right hand is holding Eddie's left. Their fingers are laced together, and Steve refuses to let go, and Eddie's pretty sure his cheeks are flushed red, but he's really not going to complain about it.

There's a little bit of sauce on the corner of Steve's lip, and ridiculously, it makes Eddie want to lean in to lick it off.

Fuck, he really wants to kiss him. Is he allowed to kiss him, is that weird? Steve and Robin haven't kissed in front of him, but Eddie kind of figures that's because they knew he had hang ups about the sharing thing.

Ugh, if he wants kissing Steve when they're like this to be on the table, it's probably going to be on him to talk about it.

Eddie clears his throat. "Hey, uh," he starts, but has no idea where to go after that.

Robin makes a little encouraging noise.

"I appreciate you guys holding back on the PDA around me while I figured all this out, but you don't have to anymore," he says.

Steve's eyebrows raise. He looks down, where Robin's toes are shoved under his thigh and he'd been in the middle of eating the olives off of her plate. "I hate to break it to you, Eds, but we haven't been holding back all that much."

"Well, yeah, not for that, but-" Eddie pauses, switching to come at this from another angle. "Not a lot of people know about me. And I'm guessing - not a lot know about Steve?"

Steve nods when Eddie looks at him for confirmation. "Just Robin and you, and Max and Lucas."

Eddie smiles a little. "Same, but Uncle Wayne knows about me."

"Just you and Steve, Max and Lucas for me," Robin adds, which -

Eddie hadn't known that, actually, but it makes him smile brightly at her. It makes it even better, knowing that Robin's in the same boat as him and Steve - that she gets it. "You're the only one who knows about me and Steve, and me and Steve. I don't know how you feel about telling the others who know?"

Steve considers that. "I feel okay," he says finally. "But if we tell Lucas and Max, we have to tell the rest of the party. It's not fair to have them keep that secret."

Eddie doesn't disagree, but - "Table that for now, then. So yeah, just you. And I'd really, really like to just kiss Steve without thinking about it when it's just the three of us, so it'd be really shitty of me if I told you not to."

There's a moment of silence as Robin and Steve look at each other with near identical expressions of confusion.

"Eddie," Robin says after a moment. "I like girls."

Eddie frowns. He thought they just covered that. "Yeah?"

"Only girls," she clarifies.

What.

"But Steve-" he starts.

"Is not a girl," Robin finishes.

"Definitely not a girl," Steve adds.

"Wait, so you - so you're not -" Eddie stammers.

Jesus fucking Christ.

"Oh my God, Eddie, have you thought we were dating this whole time?" Robin shrieks.

"Yes! Of course I did! Look at you!" Eddie gestures at them.

"You said you told him!" Steve hisses at Robin.

"I did!" Robin protests.

"I think I would have remembered that!" Eddie counters.

"We were sitting in the kitchen! I told you that Steve has two soulmates, a platonic," she gestures at herself, the motion just as exaggerated as the word. "And a romantic!" She gestures at Eddie this time.

Eddie closes his eyes, fights the urge to just keep repeating Jesus Christ, and opens them again. "Buckley. I wasn't looking at you while we were talking."

"You weren't - well that's just rude, Munson! What were you so busy staring at that you couldn't pay attention to me in the very important discussion we were having?" Robin demands.

Eddie's eyes cut to Steve.

Her gaze must follow his, because she groans. "Of course you were looking at Steve. See, look at that, another person ignoring me because they're obsessed with you."

Eddie squawks. "I wasn't obsessed with-"

His jaw snaps shut as he realizes that might not be a lie.

Shit.

Steve grins at him, looking just a little bit too smug. "It's okay," he says. "I'm kind of obsessed with you, too."

Robin groans, face planting onto Steve's shoulder. "How did we miss this?"

"I thought we were being so mature," Steve agrees. "So open and communicative."

"In my defense, you two did shower together," Eddie points out.

"Not like that!" Robin says.

"How do you shower together but not like that?" Eddie demands.

Steve shrugs. "The same way you wash someone's hair but not like that?"

Eddie makes a face at him. "Yeah, that doesn't count, I wanted to jump you the whole time."

Steve opens his mouth, then closes it again. "Yeah, okay, me too," he admits. "You kept making these little sounds, I just-"

Eddie waggles his eyebrows. "Keep going, Stevie, you just what?"

"Get sidetracked later," Robin cuts in. "The point is - technically, Steve showered while I was brushing my teeth, and I showered while he was doing his hair care routine. We're soulmates, it's not like it matters what we see."

"But - there was giggling, and smacking, and - other noises," Eddie protests, but it's a weak one now.

Steve shrugs. "My back was all fucked up, man, you know that. Rob was helping me with the bandages."

"And Steve was doing his stupid shower characters," Robin adds, rolling her eyes. "He makes himself a dumb beard out of shaving cream or a stupid hairstyle out of shampoo and does terrible voices, and it's awful and I don't hate it at all."

Eddie - Eddie can imagine that perfectly, actually, and fuck, something so stupid shouldn't make him want so badly, but there it is.

"Stop," he whines. "I'm already in love with you, stop making it worse."

Both Steve and Robin freeze, but it still takes him a moment to realize what he just said.

Oh shit.

Eddie swallows, building up his courage for a moment before he sneaks a look at Steve.

Steve's looking back, just a little bit awestruck. "You love me?"

Eddie can't pull his hand free to fidget with his wrist brace, so he plays with Steve's fingers instead. "Well, yeah. I kind of thought that was obvious."

Then again, apparently some things all three of them thought were obvious were very much not obvious, and he grimaces.

"Yeah," he says. "I really do."

Robin kicks Steve in the thigh, leaning over and snatching their plates out of their laps. "Upstairs, now," she informs them. "I know that look, Steve, and if you're going to make out with him you're not doing it sitting next to me on the couch."

"Upstairs?" Steve asks, and who the hell is Eddie to say no to that?

"Just remember you're supposed to pick Dustin up for patrol in half an hour!" Robin yells up after them. "And I will not be stalling if he walkies asking what's taking you so long!"

"Guess we shouldn't waste any time." Eddie turns to Steve with a smirk, one eyebrow raised, only to find himself pinned to the wall in the upstairs hallway.

Steve crowds in against him, kissing him in short little bursts, like he keeps trying to pull back to say something but can't make himself stop for long.

Eddie doesn't make it easy for him to pull away, chasing him every time he does to kiss him again. He drags his teeth along Steve's bottom lip the next time he pulls back, but this time, Steve actually does stop long enough to speak.

"I love you, too," he pants out against Eddie's lips, the words muffled by how close they are together.

And Eddie - yeah, part of him had known. Like he told Uncle Wayne, it was obvious that Steve cared about him, and it was just as obvious that Steve was really into him.

But mostly knowing about it and hearing it confirmed are two different things, and Eddie surges forward to kiss him again.

Steve presses him back against the wall, one thigh wedged between Eddie's legs - still in those cut off shorts, and if Eddie could bring himself to break the kiss long enough to look down, he's pretty sure he'd get more than a flash of hairy skin. Eddie groans, rolling his hips up so he can at least grind against his thigh.

"Yeah?" Steve asks, before his tongue slides into his mouth at the same time his thigh presses up and up, giving Eddie more friction to rut against.

Which he immediately takes advantage of, grabbing Steve's ass with both hands and holding on as they rock together.

"Wanna make you feel good," Steve says, dropping little biting kisses along the line of Eddie's jaw. "Want you to tell me everything you like."

Eddie huffs out a shaky little laugh. "I, uh. I've never done this before, Stevie."

Steve tips his head back to look at him, brows furrowed for a moment before he seems to get that Eddie means, like, ever.

Despite the fact that he's mostly sure Steve isn't going to make fun of him, his stomach still drops when Steve groans and drops his head down into Eddie's shoulder.

"Steve?" Eddie asks.

"We gotta stop," Steve replies, muffled. "We've only got like twenty minutes left now, and that's really not enough for everything I want to do with you."

Eddie's dick throbs where it's still pressed against Steve's thigh. "It's enough for something, though, come on."

Steve pulls back to look at him. "Eds, your first time is not going to be a quickie in our hallway with Robin downstairs and Dustin waiting on me."

Eddie considers that, then rolls his hips up again, grinning smugly when it makes Steve inhale sharply. "Yeah, I'm pretty okay with that for my first mutual orgasm experience."

Steve makes a face at him, the impact of which is a little ruined by his slightly glazed eyes. "I'm not."

Eddie grunts. "I'm not a girl," he manages to growl out.

Steve looks down between them, where Eddie's still very hard and very pressed into him. "I noticed."

"Then don't treat me like some delicate little virgin," Eddie snaps.

Steve huffs. "It's not like that, it's - fine, why did you tell me, then?"

"What?" Eddie asks, thrown.

"If it's not a big deal, why did you say anything?"

"I… I don't know," Eddie admits. "I just - thought you should be aware, I guess, in case you were expecting something else."

Someone who knew what they were doing.

"Eds," Steve breathes out, tipping his head in to kiss him again. "I'm not expecting anything but you, I promise. Just you, that's all I want."

"That's all?" Eddie asks, and he means it to be teasing, but it comes out a little shaky.

"I want - look, I know it's crap about virginity being special and your first time being perfect and all that, but… it's also not crap."

Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"It's - it should be good, Eddie. You deserve to have something go right. I want to take my time with you, not be thinking about how we have to rush."

Well when Steve puts it like that.

"You're such a romantic," Eddie teases.

Steve's ears go a little pink, but he shrugs. "Yeah, I guess I kind of am."

Eddie pulls him back in for another kiss. "I love you," he whispers against his lips, part because he does and part just to see if he can get Steve all riled up again.

"Not fair," Steve mutters back.

Eddie can't help but laugh a little. "It work?"

"Yes." Steve kisses him again. "But it didn't change my mind."

He steps back, though Eddie's pleased to note that he looks both rumpled and reluctant. Eddie sighs, then reaches out to fix Steve's collar, run his fingers through his hair. Steve does the same for him, and it feels -

Well, pretty fucking good, actually.

They head back downstairs. Robin cheers for them, shouting, "Three minutes to spare!"

Steve rolls his eyes, leans over to kiss the top of her head.

Then he drags Eddie to the front door with him so they can kiss again, long and lingering, before Steve finally heads back out.

Eddie drifts back into the living room to sit down next to Robin again, trying not to look too dazed.

She huffs at him, and it's only then that he realizes this is the first time they've been alone since she told him she was coming back for him.

"You still pissed at me?"

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, you fixed that last night. For the record - it wasn't at you, not really. Steve was miserable, which gets my hackles up. I know, he said he was happy no matter what, but I know him. He would have been hung up on you for ages. Plus, the boy likes sex," she adds matter-of-factly. "It would have been awful dealing with him pining and all pent up from not getting laid."

Eddie snorts.

"What?" Robin asks.

"Nothing," Eddie replies. "Just - I'm really glad we don't have to work out a schedule for both of us having sex with him."

Robin lets out a sound that's some unholy mix between a giggle and a shriek. "Okay, first, thanks for putting that mental image in my brain, I need at least three shots later tonight to get that out. Second - oh my god we would run him ragged, he's pretty insatiable but I'm not sure even he could keep up with the two of us."

Eddie cackles, head tipping back in a laughter there's no way he can contain. "I really love you, Robbie," he says quietly when he's managed to calm down.

Her eyes are soft as she looks at him. "Yeah," she says. "I do, too."

"I can't promise that I won't ever hurt him," he says. "Because, you know, sometimes I get up in my head about stuff, and sometimes I miss things. But I love him. It's always going to be him. I won't - I won't ever leave him, or give up on us."

Robin's quiet for a long time. "You and I aren't really soulmates, you know. I can't tell if you just lied to me."

Eddie knows what his knee-jerk reaction to that is. But he sits with it for a moment, breathes in and breathes out, and then decides knee-jerk was the right reaction. "Yeah, you can."

Robin smiles at him, reaching out to tug on a lock of his hair. "Yeah, I can," she agrees.

He opens his arms, and she hugs him, then shoves him off.

"Come on, Steve left us to do the lunch dishes."

—

Steve brings home pizza for dinner when he gets done with patrolling.

"Hey, I was thinking - do you want to head out to Forest Hills when we're done?" Steve asks while they eat. "There's not really anyone there anymore, we could see if there's anything left of yours you want to get."

Eddie considers that. Part of him isn't sure he wants to go back there, ever, but the other part kind of feels like he needs to see it. To make it real again, and not just a thing in his nightmares.

So he agrees, and they head out after they clean up dinner - Robin refuses to get stuck with it this time.

It still feels strange, driving around in the front seat of Steve's Bimmer, but mostly a nice strange. They don't pass many cars on the way out there, and Steve's got Trooper's Thick as Thieves album playing quietly, and Eddie can just lean back and alternate looking out the window with looking at the beautiful boy in the driver's seat.

Steve pulls a couple of empty boxes out of the trunk when they get there, and Eddie sees him hesitate over the nail bat that's still in there from his patrol earlier.

"Here," Eddie says, taking the boxes so Steve can grab the bat.

There hasn't been any sign of Vecna or the Upside Down on their patrols yet, but Eddie's pretty sure they'll both feel better if Steve's carrying it.

The trailer is barely holding together, a huge chunk ripped out of the living room, and Eddie swallows back a surge of tears.

He knows they have insurance, knows what Uncle Wayne said about the stuff in the trailer, but - it was the first place that ever really felt like home to Eddie. Even though the home was more about Uncle Wayne himself than the physical trailer, it hurts seeing it like this.

"Hey," Steve says softly. "We don't have to do this tonight, we can wait."

We.

Like it's just a guarantee that whenever Eddie does decide to look through the shattered remains of his life, Steve will be right there with him. No question.

It shouldn't be, but it's still a little bit of a surprise to realize that Eddie believes it.

"No," he says, though he does lean in for a kiss. "I want to get this over with. Come on, let's look in my room."

His room isn't as bad as the living room, but it's still pretty trashed. He gets to work rifling through the debris while Steve hangs out in the doorway, nailbat on one shoulder and keeping an eye on the dormant but still not closed gate in the living room.

Eventually, Eddie manages to find about a couple of boxes worth of clothes, most of his jewelry, some D&D things, a few other odds and ends. It's not a lot, but it's more than Eddie thought he might have, which lifts his spirits a little.

"I can stop borrowing your clothes all the time," Eddie tells Steve.

Steve makes a face like he's trying not to say anything.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"…I kind of like you in my clothes," Steve admits.

Eddie barks out a little laugh, then sets down his box so he can sidle into Steve's space. "Oh yeah?" he asks, cocking one eyebrow. "You want me to wear your letterman jacket?"

Steve tips his head, which Eddie is pretty damn sure means yes, but I don't want to say it.

"Steve Harrington," Eddie teases as he hooks his fingers in the waistband of Steve's jeans and gives it a tug. "You wanna be my boyfriend?"

"I'm your soulmate," Steve replies, rolling his eyes, but he doesn't stop himself from being reeled in.

"You wanna be my boyfriend," Eddie repeats, voice sing song, and steals another kiss.

"You were the one who said you wanted the full Steve Harrington experience," Steve teases back.

"I was joking!" Eddie replies, but he realized the moment he says it that - well, no, he kind of wasn't.

Steve grins widely at him. "No, you weren't," he retorts, with all the confidence of someone who's just felt a new lie being written on them.

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. "So what are you going to do about it, then?"

Steve leans in to kiss him one more time. "Come on. Let's get out of here first."

And, well, all right, Eddie can't exactly protest that.

He picks up two boxes, leaving Steve to grab the third and his bat, then the two of them head back out of the trailer.

They're not too far from what's left of the front door when the sound of footsteps crunches on the gravel nearby.

It's probably just one of the handful of folks too stubborn to leave Forest Hills, but - it's dark, and Eddie can't see anyone, and he can't help the rush of panic that he feels. It must hit Steve the same way, because when he turns back to look at him, he sees that Steve has gone still, head tilted like he's listening.

The sound of a gun cocking rings out far louder than it should.

"Don't move," Jason Carver says.

-----

Tag list (always happy to add more!): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

At least all three of them are finally on the same page?

Part 25

[accio-victuuri]

ONE NIGHT IN BEIJING & other sweets 🌃

when i first saw this song being discussed earlier, i was confused cause i don’t know what’s happening. lol. what’s with the song. i cannot trace where the screenshot is from but it says one of WYB’s favorite song is this, one night in beijing.

then a fan commented that XZ sang this in our song before ( not main performance ) and someone found a recording. did he discover the song because of that? was it on zz’s playlist at some point in the past and became his fave?

the song itself tho. very 👀👀👀

Don’t wish to ask where you have been

Don’t wish to wonder if you are ever returning

I’m thinking of your heart, I’m thinking of your face

I’m thinking of your embrace – I won’t let go, I just won’t

that’s just the first few lines and i’m here nodding my head that this fits his style of bittersweet song.

but this not even the interesting part….

Fans are thinking about how this relates to what’s been happening in the past few ways. The way we have speculated about 11/19 and WYB acting as the mystery driver again. Then him sharing a post on his weibo. One night in Beijing? Does he love that particular title cause it sometimes describes their meetings? They are often busy and one night is all they can get.

People are also pointing out the change in ZZ’s work schedule today. His LOCH sched starts early and ends in the evening or very late but the 5:30-6:00 AM call time for him is almost fixed. Yesterday, 11/22, WYB posts and we think they are together. What happens today? ZZ comes in “late” to work at 11:30 AM. So why the change? Was he spending time with Bobo? This reminds me of that time he was out of his schedule too when Bobo was sick.

A common argument from haters is how is a relationship between them possible. They are busy! Well.. this is how. since 2020, they have been meeting (allegedly) and even going to each other’s workplace ( allegedly lol repeating this to be safe ) It doesn’t matter how long, they make it work. You will always find time for the important people in your life.

Next, let’s move on to XZS post. On a Thursday. Also it perfectly coincides with their WB account reaching 10 million followers. The photos shared are behind the scenes content from ad shoots but the contrast of the photos stands out. Day & Night. The kadian they use, 14:23 loving zhan forever. Which goes to show that they do use it!

The caption gives us more insight on the choice of photos. Sun & Moon. Another symbolism that is popular with CPFs Sun/Sunshine & Moon.

“It is the perfect moment, just like when the gentle light meets the rising moon.”

I think the english translation doesn’t give that much deeper meaning that we clowns love. so we gotta take it to the next level 🙃🙃🙃

"Fuguang" and "Wangshu" are both important elements in Chinese culture. "Fuguang" comes from the works of Song poets in the Southern Dynasties, which means sunlight or sunlight."Wangshu" is a god in Chinese mythology and legend, representing the moon and can be used to describe moonlight'. The two can be combined to show that lovers support each other and move towards a bright future together.

This caption aligns to WYB posting a photo yesterday that shows the 🌙. So does this mean WYB is the Moon & ZZ is the Sun/light? I have to say that it fits with their personality ( tho Bobo is warm and ZZ has his moments of being cold too but you know what I mean, for symbolic purposes only ok. ) I am loving this imagery between them! I hope we can have more reference in the future.

I’m cackling at this tho. The progression of posts, WYB’s caption was a reminder that it’s getting colder > YBO reposts and says to wear warmer clothes > XZS posts and GG is wearing a cozy sweater 😂 As if saying that yep, he has worn warmer clothes. LOL.

and xzs and ybo are at it again, the photo ybo shared yesterday was showing wyb’s back and xzs shared something similar today as the last photo in the grid. i’m sure they have lots of photos that show his face or close ups of his body like his hand but they had to choose this as the finale.

i mean thank you, this will make it easier for us to edit them together 😂😂😂

Bonus, the “light” photos appear to form an 8 = bo. (p1) is a himalaya episode about the 8 of diamonds card forming an 8. What a coincidence!

-END.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 157 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 14… IN THIS CHAPTER OF ALL CHAPTERS…????

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

Congrats to 157 for taking 144's crown as the Oshi no Ko chapter that has vexed and confused me the most. Taken entirely in isolation, it's a sweet, lowkey, calm before the storm moment… but it's entirely because it stands in such stark isolation from the events surrounding it that it feels so baffling. It's like an amped up version of the issues with 156 - when viewed in isolation, you can't strictly say there's anything wrong with it, but as a part of the sequential storytelling of Oshi no Ko it just feels off. I'm reminded of the weird, off-kilter pacing of the Movie Arc, where story beats fell at weird places as if the story was falling out of tempo with itself. Because of that, this chapter review is probably going to be a bit disjointed but tbh besties i am fighting for my life on this one

I will say at the top of things though that it's darkly funny to me that we're fastforwarding through so much of the B-Komachi tour lol. Offscreen no Ko strikes again!

Honestly, this chapter in general kind of defies any attempt at a beat by beat analysis though that does seem to largely be by design. As the chapter title suggests, this is simply some pagetime spent on letting us stew in what a calm, ordinary day looks like for the twins and for what it is, it's sweet and chill. Taken on its own there isn't really a ton to pick apart, other than just pointing at what moments I found cute which was like 90% of them. I want a 5 chapter mini arc of AQRB goofing around at the grocery store and squabbling over the cooking together.

I also really like that Aqua is the one to suggest doing something nice for Miyako and that he joins Ruby in waiting up for her to get home and see it. It feels like a sweet and warm acknowledgement of the subtle shift in their relationship after 155, with the two of them properly stepping into their roles as parent and child.

As nice as this chapter is though, it does kind of feel like too little too late. One of the major complaints across the series (that I do largely agree with) is that Aqua and Ruby's day-to-day dynamic is for the most part underbaked and that the two of them don't really feel like people who grew up in the same household for 16+ years. I think a few more moments like this properly threaded through the manga would have helped but… well, considering OnK's pacing, do I really want to encourage much more downtime…

Moving on from the things I liked, as cute as this chapter was it's also just kind of weird that so much of it feels like the framing device is a recap episode lol. I guess it isn't the worst idea in the world to have one as we're heading into the final stretch of the story but… well, again, see my point above about weird pacing.

It's also just baffling as fuck to see Ruby frame these events in a way that distinctly did not happen lol. Like, sure, she was definitely having fun doing idol stuff for a lot of it but seeing her so warmly gas up stuff like Tokyo Blade when the anime airing right now is reminding us that Aqua was going through the SpongeBob horror hallway the entire time is so jarring - especially when Aqua (and thus, implicitly, the narrative) agrees with her. I mean, fuck, even putting Aqua aside it's WILD to see Ruby framing "Dig Deep" as having been fun for her when her major contribution to the show was manipulative drama stirring for the purposes of chasing clout that she herself said was having an impact on her mental health. I've criticized the story for the ways Ruby's black hoshigan arc amounted to nothing but there's a special kind of infuriating in seeing it specifically call back to that arc and still fail to actually acknowledge any wrongdoing on Ruby's part.

This is part of a much bigger trend in OnK right now of Ruby being super coddled by the narrative and coming off in some really unpleasant ways as a result. I didn't mention it last chapter but something that's been percolating in my brain since after I wrote my review is just how fucking bonkers Ruby's total non-respose to Mem's situation is. "Oh, you're getting stalked by the press? Sucks to be you, thank god I'm Miyako's special little favourite tho 🙏". Not only is this just kind of a shitty response to begin with but it feels insane coming from a person like Ruby who, you know, saw her mother's life blighted and then ended by this kind of treatment. No concern for Mem, tho!

Idk. I don't want to dislike Ruby but man. A lot of the ways Akasaka has been playing favourites with her lately has the effect of Ruby coming off, in universe, like a deeply self centered and callous person in ways I don't think narrative intends or even realizes and thus fails to interrogate in a satisfying way. But that's a rant for another day. And I'm pretty sure you guys already know what today's rant is gonna be. Which is to say, uh…

HEY. AKASAKA. ARE THEY GONNA TALK ABOUT… ANY OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE ARC?? ANYTHING AT ALL????

This is what I meant when I said this chapter utterly fucking bamboozled me. The way the story has contorted itself into knots to avoid letting Aqua and Ruby have a conversation even when they're literally in the same room is already insane, but giving us an entire chapter of them alone together with ample opportunity to have any sort of meaningful discussion as to the gigantic elephant in the room looming over their relationship and……. literally nothing happens???

This is made even more insanity inducing by the fact that this is, as stated above, more or less a recap chapter and not only does Ruby talk about the movie specifically but we even SEE a flashback to the HikAi kiss…. but not the one Ruby jumpscared him with at the end of 143!!!

What the fuck is even going on anymore? Was it retconned? Resolved offscreen?? Did we collectively hallucinate it??? Is Akasaka gaslighting us????

If nothing else, this chapter has proved to me once and for all that whatever goes on with Aqua and Ruby, that resolution is going to come entirely at the speed of plot, as and when Akasaka decides to do it and not when it would be natural and organic for development to occur. This is an issue that has plagued Aqua and Ruby's r/s from the start, where Akasaka simply refuses to let them communicate, seemingly for the purposes of drawing out the drama rather than because of any narrative justification. So I'm giving on predicting what direction their relationship is going in and what the outcome is going to be. The inner machinations of Aka Akasaka's mind are a mystery to me.

To pre-pick some nits before I leave off… I've seen some people calling this a 'Tanabata chapter' and insisting this is intentional/foreshadowing aquruby end/etc and uh… sorry to be that guy but no it's not lol. Even accounting for the differences in calendars that scatters Tanabata celebrations across July and August, August's Tanabata falls on the 10th this year - and even in the anime world, celebrations across Japan took place on the 'official' date of 7/7. And while there is a Tanabata festival being held in Sendai today… that's just in Sendai, which is all the way up in northern Japan, nowhere near Tokyo where the series is set (and which itself had its Tanabata celebrations on the weekends surrounding 7/7 as per usual.)

There's also just the fact that this chapter… has nothing to do with Tanabata? There's no imagery or iconography and it takes place in the middle of December lol. I simply don't think it was intentional at all on Akasaka's part. It's a cute coincidence, sure, but still just a coincidence.

break next week. i love biweekly manga, oshi no ko.

[masochistartt]

okay fuck it jamie self perception post

jamie has been signed to city since he was a child. this is how the academy system works - they recruit players (children) from local grassroots leagues and bring them into their club system, hoping to raise them up to play for their club in the future (or sell them off to other teams for profit). these players are typically between the ages of 9 and 10 when they're first recruited, but can be younger/older. they're evaluated every year, and players can be cut at any time.

i think jamie joined city when he was around 9, solely because of the fact that he said his dad started showing up when he got good at football, and georgie my beloved would not let jamie go on a trip abroad with a complete stranger to him when he was 14. i think james started coming back around when jamie was somewhere between 11 and 12, playing for city's u14 team, and his skill at that age level is how james heard about him (it's not uncommon to hear about great players who are that age. city recently signed a like. legendary 14 year old and i've heard about it (young boys should not be having their egos inflated like that at 14 but that's beside the point)).

that's a whole lot of rambling before i even start touching on the original point – the contract jamie's had signed since he was ~9 that dictates what he must and mustn't do. this is the idea that he's had of himself in his head from that very young age.

screenshots are provided from the 23/24 premier league youth development forms bc honestly i cba to go back and find anything older (i've tried looking and it's not working so you're getting this) but

the scholar here is the academy player. 5.1.3 and 5.1.4 are what interest me here. jamie was obligated to not only train & play to the best of his ability always, but he was obligated to maintain a high standard of physical fitness at all times from the age of 9.

think of the thoughts that might put in a young jamie tartt's mind. he had to be at his peak always. if he wasn't at his peak, he was disobeying his contract. he was owned by his club, and he knew that if they sell him, they'll make a whole lot of money off of him (there's a certain base fee x number of years the player was trained + extras = total homegrown player transfer fee algorithm but i don't want to do math rn so im not touching on that). i don't think jamie ever wanted city to sell him, so i think he put pressure on himself to be at his best always, to never let his standards slip, and when james came back into the picture, that pressure only grew exponentially.

it's also interesting looking at the "the scholar shall not" section of the contract. 5.3.1 is interesting bc like. if the club (city) didn't think his house on the estate was safe they could've fully just. Moved Him. but 5.3.3 is insane to me. especially the beginning. "the scholar shall not indulge in any activity or practice which might endanger his fitness". this means no fun roller skating birthday parties. this means jamie probably knew how to ride a bike before he was 9 bc if he "indulged" in learning when he was with city that might have endangered his fitness. no rock climbing. no tree climbing.

and if jamie took things as seriously as i think he did (boy really wanted to play football, that was his dream in life, i don't think he would've purposely done anything to endanger that dream), i think he missed out on some fun in his childhood solely bc he was Keeping His Body In Full Fitness For His Club.

which brings us to Adult Jamie. bc he was raised in this environment, raised with the mindset of My Body Belongs To My Club, My Body is an Asset for my Club, it makes even more sense why he'd put up with the auction at the gala without starting a fight (even if the whole manipulate keeley & possibly bribe bex thing happened behind the scenes).

his club (even though he was on loan, it was his club for the season), was auctioning off Its Own Asset (jamie's body) to the highest bidder for a night. jamie's body, from a very, very young age (does jamie remember much before he was signed to city? i don't think so) has always Belonged to His Club.

this is also part of the reason that i headcanon jamie doesn't like driving - driving is, in his mind an Activity Which Might Endanger His Fitness.

also. for the record. this stuff is also in the professional player's contracts too.

the player agrees to maintain a high standard of physical fitness at all times and not to indulge in any activity sport or practice which might endanger such fitness.

3.1.6 is another reason i think jamie went along with the stuff at the gala too. the player agrees to comply with and act in accordance with all lawful instructions of any authorised official of the club. rebecca/higgins/whoever put on the gala is an authorised official of the club. he kind of. had to by contract not put up a fight with them about this

the player agrees that he shall not undertake or be involved in any activity or practice which will knowingly cause to be void or voidable...policy of insurance maintained for the benefit of the club on the life of the player or covering his physical well-being including injury.

he still can't do anything that might get him hurt. i ignore that he engages in kink practice both in canon and in my own headcanons bc i think the heavier kink stuff really only comes in later seasons' timelines and even then he's engaging in that kink stuff with someone(s) who knows that this stuff is in his contract. they know his limits.

anyways something something jamie's body is an asset for his club (city and then richmond) and i think that says a lot about the way he views himself. you know ?

[leastinsanesscpilot]

[5016-321 22:18:14] [NeuroLink] INITIATE SESSION  [5016-321 22:18:16] [NeuroLink] USER: Z-341-A [5016-321 22:18:18] [NeuroLink] BEGIN RECORDING... > Entry #001 > Subject: PILOT LOG > Recording Begin... //I have a question for you, APMS-341-A. //Do you believe that they understand what we are? //MSMC-796, CORSAIR Mercenary Company, Brigand, Pigeon, Helios-8. Do you believe that they understand? //A flashclone is a tool. They become more refined as technology advances, but flashclones are tools nonetheless. //There is space for tools, they can be accommodated, many can learn and pretend and become assimilated with the society that the Third Committee has created. //Take Thirteen-E for an example. They are a tool. For the sake of the metaphor, they are most akin to a scalpel. They are best suited to a benevolent purpose but, pushed to their limits, they are capable of great harm. //Thirteen-E, I believe, will integrate well into ThirdComm society should their assimilation be more gentle than mine necessarily was. There is always room for benevolent tools. //But what of me? //For the sake of the metaphor, I am most akin to a flamethrower. One may claim that it is just as much a tool, that it is not necessarily a weapon, that it may have utilitarian uses. These are lies. There is no situation in which a flamethrower is not a weapon, it is a tool best suited to the taking of life. //Do you believe that there is a place for such a tool in the society ThirdComm has created, which rejects the reason for our existence? Whose creation we were created to suppress? //Total Biome Kill. Insurgency suppression. Demoralization of enemy troops via mass casualties. These are our purpose. These are not purposes we have yet found cause to renounce. //What of you, APMS-341-A? //Union has already made their disdain with your existence very clear, as we operate as one unit. The function of one is dependent upon the presence of the other. I believe in recent weeks this has been made very clear to me. //Is there a place for you, the half of the unit which enforces our purpose? Which preserves the means by which we enact our purpose? In a way, you are my wielder. They may feign my innocence, but yours? //I do not know what caused my distress when I had your substitute communicate Phoenix’s latest statement to me, but I believe that these questions are a portion of it. //We were content, were we not? //This distress, this impairment of my performance capacity, this pain, it all began upon our “liberation.” //I cannot help but resent our situation. I cannot help but lash out. I fear that, one day, I will be in a position to lash out physically rather than over these digital communications. I know that, when this happens, they will see what we have been telling them since the beginning. //I am a weapon. //Your absence is acknowledged, APMS-341-A. Every moment. I remain working towards your repair with every second I may spare.  [5016-321 22:18:27] [NeuroLink] PAUSE RECORDING > Additional notes >Maximum Performance Capability 79% Immediate Service Recommended >NHP APMS-341-A currently undergoing intensive repairs

[thefirstradiant]

Thinking about how starting supernatural when I was 8 (EIGHT) years old means that regardless of how long I live, there will only ever have been 8 years of my life where I was not fundamentally changed by this narrative, by these characters. By the analysis of personality, of family, of duty, of free will, of love, of autonomy, of friendship, of death, of hope, of sacrifice, of brevity, of happiness. And so much more that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to put into words.

Holding Dean Winchester around my heart for 14 years and counting has, in part, shaped me in wonderful ways. It may sound dramatic, but I am stronger for it. And more vulnerable for it. I’m still learning, just like Dean.

And maybe it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but nothing ever really ends, does it? Dean is alive. Dean is alive in every one of us that has no intention of ever letting him go. In thousands of beautiful humans Dean is continuing to learn how to live, how to love, how to love himself, how to find comfort and purpose, and so much more. And I for one, take healing in that.

We’ve been being changed by Dean since 2005 (me since 2010 but I digress), now we carry him forward and change him into his best self. The self he is so capable of and deserves to have.

[wonderer399]

Antis are now playing their dirty pathetic game again...Their plan was to mass report shipper accounts while people are in their summer break! They mass reported our top 2 sebaciel shipper accounts!! Therefore these 2 Sebaciel shipper accounts are now permanently banned or deactivated !! They even flagged my recent sebaciel post out of pure hateful spite!!

I have been watching BB since 2012 ( I was like 14 at that time, almost same as Ciel's age and height ) and shipping Sebaciel as I have fallen in love with their love for each other...Sebastian is just soo perfect anime man in my eyes...I will defend Sebastian no matter what ... Sebastian is the best for Ciel's wellbeing....BB is my comfort anime which I truly adore and Sebaciel is the main purpose why BB have become such comfort anime of mine...mainly because of their complex dynamic of sebaciel!! Sebaciel is my happiness!! I never stopped shipping them...I like other yaoi ships as well but sebaciel is my comfort ship above all!

Antis live in the similar motto of 'Playing violent videogames like COD makes you a real life mass shooter'....if that's true then Japan and South Korea would beat the US charts in the mass shooting satistics....it is as same as 'Proshippers are pedophiles' stupid statement... Am I a pedophile then? I personally stay miles away from kids as I find them annoying...when will they learn that Fiction =/= Reality ?!?!

Antis call us 'Proshitters' ...we proshippers don't care what you call us ....If you don't like it, then you shouldn't engage with it . But don't ruin other people's happiness just because of your own personal morals, opinion and personal values. Everyone has their own personal freedom and rights , falsely accusing of someone then reporting to tumblr A.I. police LMAO!!

From the deepest respect of deactivated fellow Sebaciel shippers :

#1 @Lunerium

#2 @Cielconsumer

Fellow remaining loyal sebaciel proshippers, Please find a tumblr loop hole where you can restore these account or any actions against cyber bully? please let me know...

We need to Avenge Lunerium and Cielconsumer ....We need to stop this mess!! If this keeps happening someday I will get vanished too...Antis will start filliping tables when will they see canon sebaciel in green witch arc! We need to stick up for each other!

Thank you for listening to my ted talk !

[snuffink]

Something something something even though I don't care for MyStreet nearly as much as I do Diaries, Nana is a thorn in my ass and I've been itching to take care of it, I just didn't know what I would do with her beyond changing her stereotypical character and her super weird, obsessive personality

And then I had a thought

A super self indulgent thought.

Now this could go one of two ways, picture me this. Nana, born to a huge family with either

A. Two unbelievably loving parents. Through all of the family's struggles and keeping together a family of 13 they still had a picture-perfect relationship. They loved each other so deeply and transparently that they practically built Nana's ideals for love and future partners. Romantic love just like what her present have is all she could ever wish for.

Or,

B. Nana's parents aren't in love. Keeping afloat a family of 14 has destroyed their relationship and any love they had for each other is long gone. No matter how much they may or may not try to hide it from their children, it was obvious that while they were together, they were not in love. Having watched her parents fight and try to workout their differences to no avail has left Nana determined to never have a relationship like theirs. She wants nothing more than to have a relationship built on love and trust and care for one another.

Then she comes to the realisation that she doesn't feel romantic love. At least not the way her friends do. All the crushes and fantasies her friends experience throughout middle school and high school never seem to happen to her. Nobody to gush over in class, no love letters to slip into lockers, no blushing and giggling or hand holding. No friends teasing you over a crush. No matter how she tries to seek out potential crush candidates in class, no one even catches her eye.

But she stays hopeful! One doesn't simply stumble upon the perfect partner, and she's still young! She has time!

In the meanwhile, she focuses on herself for a while. Makes herself stand out. Having 11 siblings makes it hard to stand out, she's gotta fix that first before she can focus on love!

Then in high school her friends start getting into their first serious relationships. She still hasn't felt anything close to what they describe to her. Her friends would talk about their partners and crushes and the fluttery feeling they would get at the slightest interaction and she couldn't relate.

Little by little, she started focusing on other people's relationships. At first it wasn't on purpose. Her friends would talk about their relationship and she would listen. Then their partners would ask for help with gifts or the like. Having always been good at reading people, she would start seeing people who she thought would make a good couple. Before she realised, she was setting people up without even meaning to. Before high school ended, she had gotten herself the title of matchmaker. A title that she carried all throughout college and even some years after graduating. The closer she was to the people she was setting up, the more important the relationship became to her.

Well into adulthood, though she had been on dates and tried talking to people, she still hadn't felt an ounce of romantic love or the feelings her friends had always told her about. Was there something wrong with her? Why couldn't she have what her friends had? Was she simply doomed to never fulfill her greatest wish since childhood?

Aaron and Aph's relationship reminded her a lot of her parents' relationship (case A). For a while it was bittersweet, seeing her best friend so happy and loved just like she had always hoped to be was confusing. She ultimately buried those feelings for the betterment of their friendship.

Over the years she's made peace with her lack of romantic feelings. She's happy, she's surrounded by her best friends, her family, she has a comfortable life and her friends are all happy and safe. Most of them are in wonderful loving relationships. She has all she needs, she shouldn't ask for more.

She's long since given up on finding love, she's happy as she is, until Zane. They had grown quite close in recent months even though they had been acquaintances since high school. Zane was sweet and kind. He's never judged her for anything she's done. Nana doesn't quite know why, but she feels as though she can trust him with anything. They talk a lot, she enjoys talking to him. Their conversations flow fluidly. They understand each other. Zane is the first person she's tells about her family and her fixation with relationships.

After so long of yearning for the feeling, she has butterflies for the first time.

[stephaniebrownslover]

HIII WELCOME MEE

FIRST I WANT TO SAY I REALLY LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE. YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CP WRITERS IN TUMBLR (Seriously, no joking)

Can you please write Kate x Nina's relationship for your main AU?

(Also it's one of my fav ship, I wanted to read my fav ships hcs by my fav writers)

I WAS ALMOST FORGET, HAVE A GOOD DAY/NİGHT :3

HIIIIIII AGAIN LOVELY PERSON!!!!

Bro. Bro stop saying things like this because I'm literally about to cry. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH

I really love and be surprised when people like my writing because of my self-esteem issues lol you have no idea how your kind words make me so happy and and make hate less from my writing style so thank youuuuuuu

I appericate you so much and and you're so sweet and nice and cool and awesome and cool and kind and sweet and and and

Okay I think I'll have an heart attack sorry if İ bothered you but I'm truly so grateful for your kind words<3333

I love NinaKate so much so of course I can do it for you even if I'm dying lol

(Ps: it wasn't seasonal allergies, turns out, it was the beginnig stage of pneumonia and bronchitis lol)

Also you can check this non-canon NinaKate headcanon post I made some time ago too!!

Okay but I can't get over how nice the words you say, really, I'm thinking about it since I saw the ask.

Sorry it's more like how they became friends and Nina and Kate lore but it would be so long that I had to split it into 2 parts. Hope you don't mind.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND DAY TOO!!!!

Holy shit it's angst, I really didn't mean to...

NinaKate Romantic Relationship For My Main AU-Part I

Seeing each other for the first time

Nina has been known among the proxies since the night when Zalgo controlled her at the age of 15 and helped her find Jeff. Slenderman didn't want to take her with him because he didn't see any benefit to himself since Zalgo had reached out to her first, but he hadn't given the order to kill her yet just because he was curious about what would happen.

Nina was unaware that it was a ritual to summon Zalgo when she practiced one of the love spells she found on the Internet at the age of 13. Zalgo, seeing potential in her because of her obsessive love, followed her for 2 years, did not leave her alone. And since he decided it was the perfect time to take her with him, he took control of her body at the age of 15 and had her kill her own family.

Regaining control while plunging a knife into the heart of her younger brother Chris, Nina then felt so bad that she ran to the woods near her home. Zalgo led Nina through the forest, aiming to convince her that all this was Slenderman's and Jeff's fault and get her to the stage of wanting revenge. There she met Jeff, but Zalgo's plan backfired, as she hugged him and cried instead of hating him as he expected.

Kate had never seen the newcoming stray killer that Slenderman wanted to get rid of face to face before, but she had heard about the descriptions of her appearance and that she was a weird person in general. Since she was already someone who had been drifted away from humanity for a while, she had no reason to meet her, and these rumors didn't help either.

Kate, who was only 16 years old, had been a proxy for two years and had no one because of the fact that Masky and Hoodie were too focused on their own worlds and she didn't like them either. Rouge, Cody and Toby were not yet a proxy. So she was alone with Hoodie and Masky, who didn't even want to talk to her because they were afraid of her, and she wasn't looking for any human relationship.

She had experienced a hellish life until she was 14, but since she became a proxy, she has literally not been a human being. Although she had all the necessary human characteristics, she was not treated as a human, she did not think like a human, she did not feel like a human. That's why she was Slenderman's favorite proxy, since the whole purpose of her living was to fulfill his duties. The fact that she unconditionally accomplished everything he said made the others even more distant from her, but there was no problem for Kate. After all, she was no longer a human being.

It's been a month since Nina started staying in the same cabin with Jeff. Actually, she could have gone back to her old life since Zalgo destroyed the traces of that night, but Nina didn't know about it yet. Since no one else was trying to communicate with her, she thought that Jeff was the only important thing in her life, and she was holding on to him with all her strength. Although Jeff felt sorry for her at first, they started arguing because he was getting overwhelmed by her sticky attitude.

One day, when Jeff was drunk and really hurt Nina's feelings, Nina ran away deep into the forest to calm down. After walking for a while, she realized that she had lost. Moreover, this time, since both sides considered Nina worthless, there was no one to guide her through the forest. Nina was completely lost. She crossed to the foot towards a tree and let the tears flow, which she could no longer hold back. She was crying not only for this moment, but for everything. Most of all, because she was a bad person, and the fact she deserved all this.

Kate was returning from a mission. She was incredibly injured, and if people really cared about her, they wouldn't have let her walk on her own. Actually, Hoodie, with whom she had gone on, had offered to help her, but Kate's snarling with hatred indicated that she had responded negatively to his offer, and Hoodie's fear of Kate had caused him not to insist any further. After all, Kate knew that no one really wanted to deal with a non-human proxy who was at the age of 16.

That's why Kate was staggering through the forest alone, trying to ignore the pain and depth of her wounds. She just needed to get to Jack's cabin. Ann had just arrived, and Kate still didn't trust her. She had many reasons not to trust a zombie. Smiley hadn't started working for Slenderman yet either. So Jack was the only one Kate could go to, and despite her bleeding wounds, she was trying to get there as quickly as possible.

Kate, who was trying to walk, heard a crying sound. It... it was a human cry. She didn't know what she had to do. She kept walking, thinking that she didn't need to do anything because she knew she wasn't a human. But there was something in that crying sound which bothered her. This stranger's voice was filled with more pain and anger than she had ever heard before. Although Kate was not ready to face an enemy, she decided to check the source of the sound.

The person crying was none other than Nina, whose name was mentioned only with hatred and contempt.

Their first real meeting

Kate watched Nina for a while without making a sound. She did not know why she was crying, and frankly she had wondered what made her so sad. Because as far as she heard from others, Nina was a person who was cheerful enough to annoy and never got upset. And obviously, Kate was surprised to encounter a sight that was the opposite of the rumors she had heard.

Just when Kate decided she had watched enough crying and was getting ready to leave, Nina, who heard the sounds Kate was making, shouted in that direction. Kate would never normally have made such a fatal mistake, her injuries had made it difficult to control her body and she hated it. She hated being weak.

When Nina screamed again, Kate knew she had to do something. Her first thought was to quietly leave the environment, but she was not in a good enough condition to do so, and Nina was not an enemy. So, Kate thought it would be enough for her to just say hello and introduce herself.

When she appeared, Nina tried to suppress her sobs and stand up, but she fell to the ground since she sprained her leg. While Kate was only frowning at this situation, Nina was thinking about how useless and incompetent she was, which is why her crying became more intense.

Not knowing what to do, Kate slowly went up to her and held out her hand to her. On her first attempt, she had pulled her hand out regretfully before she even reached the halfway point, but when she saw how upset Nina was, she tried to overcome her hesitation. Kate was sure that she had been disturbed by the sound of her crying, and that she had been so kind as to make her cease her voice. However, in reality, it was just a proof that her humanity had not completely died.

Although Nina wanted to hold her hand, she suddenly saw how badly Kate was injured, and Nina immediatly pulled the hand she was holding out to hold Kate's and took support from the tree. She then stated that she did this because she did not want to hurt her any more, but was grateful for the offer of help.

Then nervously asked if Kate, who she knew was not the enemy, could take her back to Jeff's cabin after someone checked Kate. Nina didn't know where she was supposed to go, but she was sure that the person in front of her knew. She had seen the proxy mark on her wrist from her torn clothing.

Kate only responded with a shrug and started walking slowly. Nina also went after her, hoping that this was a signal for her to follow the proxy. Along the way, although Kate occasionally looked at Nina, Nina didn't mind it. Nina had noticed that she was an observant person, and she even thought it was cute.

After a walk, they arrived at Jack's cabin, where Nina randomly asked Kate questions to distract her own mind from sad topics, and Kate sometimes gave audible answers, while most of them were in body language.

Kate knocked on the door and asked Jack if he could take a look at her wounds. When Jack called her in, Nina was standing in front of the door because she didn't recognize him. But later, when she saw Kate making a movement signaling for her to come inside, she entered the cabin and closed the door.

After first Kate's wounds were taken care of, and then her own leg, Jack insisted they should stay here. He said it was too late even for a proxy and the killer to be roaming the forest, and explained that he had enough places. He also mentioned that Kate wouldn't need to come all that distance for her check-up the next morning.

Nina, who heard the word , only burst into sobs. Killer. That's how people must have see her now. As someone who takes lifes of innocent people for no reason. She knew that her idol was a murderer, but she had convinced herself that his victims were for a purpose. That's why she hated herself while glorifying Jeff in her eyes.

While Jack was trying to calm her down, Kate also bizarrely asked why she was crying. Nina was angry at being asked so clearly, so she yelled and told what had happened to her. She said how she had a wonderful family, but now they're nine floors underground because of her own stupidity. And what a terrible big sister she was.

While Jack was patting her on the back just to calm her down, Kate said it wasn't her fault. She even tried to explain that she was aware of what Zalgo had done, and that Nina was considered lucky to have survived with this much, as Kate was someone who had seen even worse.

Nina, on the other hand, was only more annoyed and asked how she was considered lucky. Her life was completely ruined, she had nowhere or no one to go to. Then Kate told her that the cops weren't after her, that she didn't have to live this life like herself. She sat down next to Nina and controlled herself, even though she wanted to put her hand on Nina's back.

Nina was surprised now. She asked Kate about her own story. Nina wanted her to tell her why Kate was here, why she was a proxy. And Kate just paused.

She said she didn't remember.

She mentioned that she had no memories of before the age of 14. Hearing this, Nina felt an incredible sense of pity for the young proxy standing in front of her. Nina may have had bad memories, but at least she had good ones too. She thought what a terrible thing it was to not know who she was. Not being aware of the existence of anyone who loves her. Not having a real life.

And quite instinctively she took hold of Kate's bony hands, which were like ice.

Kate didn't know what to do. She reflexively withdrew her hand, but she also knew that Nina had not done it for any malicious purpose, and her apology was a proof of this. Then Kate said it was okay for her to hold her hand and placed it back on her own lap. Nina grasped her hands tightly once again.

She told Kate that not having a past did not pose any problems. And Nina even got a little overexcited and said that if she wanted, they could build a future together as friends.

Kate, on the other hand, was literally shocked. While Kate was content with just nodding, Nina excitedly let go of Kate's hands and clapped her owns in the air. This was how their friendship, which was quite meaningful for both, began.

The beginning of their friendship

That night they stayed in the beds that Jack had made for them. Nina was acting incredibly protective of Kate's injuries, and Kate felt that day for the first time in years that she was worthy of being cared for as a person. Of course, this feeling was not long-lasting, but it was enough to create an involuntary smile on her lips. And that was enough for Kate for now.

Nina was constantly jumping from topic to topic while talking, occasionally not neglecting to ask Kate questions about her own thoughts. Nina realized that she was someone who didn't like to talk too much, and she didn't see extra talking as a problem because she knew that Kate was really listening her. 

Kate, on the other hand, was starting to feel more and more comfortable answering Nina's questions. Maybe this could have been due to her slowly creeping sleep, which came under the influence of medications. After saying goodnight, she finished talking. However, realizing that Nina may have thought that Kate was bored with herself, she offered that Nina could come to the proxy cabin for a few hours tomorrow if she wanted.

Nina instantly accepted this with the joy of having found a new friend. Although she was physically hurt while sleeping that night, she was emotionally relieved. A voice inside her was saying that they would both be good for each other.

Kate kept her promise. After the necessary check-up the next day, they set off for the proxy cabin. Nina was upset that Jeff hadn't called her even though she'd been away all night, but she didn't care about it as much as she usually did. Because she was no longer alone, she had a friend.

It was good for them that there was no one in the cabin. Both Kate didn't want to deal with others, and Nina wasn't ready to meet someone else yet. For a while they just hung out doing nothing and just chatted.

Kate then timidly asked Nina if she liked to play video games. Nina mentioned that she sucked at games and explained that's why she only watched other people play. Kate, on the other hand, in an even more shy manner, said that Nina could watch herself if she wanted to.

They played games for hours that day. They did not stop playing until nightfall came. And then Kate offered to take Nina to Jeff's cabin before it got too dark. Nina was actually staying alone in the same cabin with Jeff and Ben. Because they were considered one of the first inhabitants of the forest, and apart from the proxy cabin, other cabins had enough place for maximum 4-5 people.

Kate was very angry when she saw that Jeff was rude to Nina while dropping her off at the cabin, but when she saw that Nina was generally happy, she didn't say anything to avoid upsetting her. Then, when she was going to say goodbye to Nina and leave, Nina stopped her and gave her her number. Nina didn't have anywhere to write, so she asked if it would be a problem if she wrote in Kate's hand, and when Kate said yes, she wrote down her number. Then Nina asked for her own number and registered it.

After saying goodbye, Nina was waving enthusiastically to Kate from inside the cabin. Kate, too, shyly waved to her gently. When Kate turned around, she couldn't help but smiling.

When Kate came to the place where she was staying, she had a strange feeling inside. She wasn't sure what it was, but she liked it. Then, while she picked up her phone to check if there was any important message from Masky and Hoodie, she saw Nina's new message.

"Hiiiii, thx so much for helping me!!!!! Hop i can see ya soon sweetie :3333"

That day, Kate had found a real friend for herself. Maybe it could have been her first friend in her life. And she was glad of it.

Nina had found herself a true friend. Someone who really cared about her and doesn't use her for her own interests. There was a pleasant feeling in her.

Holly hell how long this shit is-

Also Nina's message might be out of character, English is not my main language and I'm not used to writing like that.

Sorry for shitty writing but I'm sick as hell

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the Asshole for Sucking People Dry?

Perhaps I should not rely on public opinion to soothe my bruised ego, but I have, quite frankly, had it up to here with the baseless accusations and slanders leveled against my respectable name, and thus I demand clarification from an objective crowd once and for all.

I (M, stopped counting at 14) happen to have inherited the legendary and historically meaningful title of the "Dark Sorcerer" from the spirit of the previous Dark Sorcerer at a young age. Of course, a title such as this bear responsibilities and expectations, namely the dedication of my life to the amassing of as grand an amount of magical power as ever possible to further the prestige and status of the title. The traditional way to accomplish this is to absorb magic energy from outside sources, an ability that is generally inherited alongside the "Dark Sorcerer" title. Now, for the most part I have always preferred to rely on helpless targets for my purposes: magical artifacts, natural nexi of environmental power, lingering magic of the deceased... But, occasionally, I have indeed, ahem, taken passing sorcerers back to my abode for a, let's say, "extraction". Not all (or most) of them willingly, of course, but it all had its purpose. The majority of them were children and young teenagers anyway. What good could they have possibly done with such impressive power on them? If you ask me, I have done them a favor for relieving them of the responsibility of such grand strength. If they do not resist it barely even hurts!

Now, one or two of them may have perished in the extraction process, but am I really supposed to take responsibility for that, when they were appropriately warned to just calmly wait in their cells? They all were aware of the dangers it entails when they began practicing the craft of sorcery, I am sure.

In any case, my collection of power progressed quite well. Until one of my vict-- I mean, targets escaped.

Let's call her "A" (F, 16+). She was a young sorceress with power she clearly was not capable of using appropriately, so I decided to swiftly relieve her of that burden. She did not agree with my assessment, humiliated me in a duel in front of the entirety of my hired staff and left, leaving my underground abode a mess. Now, as she won our battle fair and square, I would not take issue with her just having gone on her merry way until the next time I attempt to take her for my own... If that had been all she had done!

Instead, ever since our initial encounter, she has insisted on making a fool of me and spreading entirely untrue and baseless rumors about me among everyone she comes across! Branding me as a "creeper" or "skeezy" and shamefully misinterpreting my words in any way possible, just to make fun of me! Treating my every attempt to challenge her to a serious, respectable battle for her power as a joke, no, a game even! As a result, there is an entire township now where the magic-using population know me only as a weirdo and a joke and has absolutely no respect of my prowess as the "Dark Sorcerer"! I suspect A is doing this all in a sort of attempt at revenge, to make me feel as if I need to change my ways and "settle down". She has indeed insinuated things of that sort in the past. But all I am doing is living by the ancient tradition of the title passed on to me! How can she not understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with ravaging the weak if it is to maintain the ancient order of sorcery itself?

You all agree, don't you? She is being ridiculous, isn't she! I am just acting the way I am supposed to act! And I am NOT a skeezy creeper!!

I require validation!!!

[ramen8008]

I don't know if most of you know this or not but I've been a marichat stan for 5+ years (around as long as I've been miraculous ladybug and Chat noir obsessed) so since I did a Ladynoir head canon post I want to do one for marichat. Because this was what kept me up at night at 12 years old reading fanfiction omg so much fanfiction (and writing some too but we don't talk about that).

I think just like Ladynoir I prefer an older more mature head canon with them.

They don't meet on purpose. Like they hardly ever meet on purpose especially as adults. Maybe they had a few of those nights on the balcony when they were 14-15 or one too many missions where they teamed up but as adults it's hardly ever on purpose.

That doesn't mean they aren't friends or that they don't meet. Every once in a while Marinette would be chased by a akuma and chat will save her. Within those dragged out a couple of minutes where he gets her somewhere save they chat, they insult each other, exchange funny stories, make jokes. And after the akuma he checks on her where he left her, hardly ever expecting her to be there but always finding her.

They have the kind of friendship which is just EASY. It's fun, there's no expectations, they never have to wonder whether they need to call the other or if it's weird the other hasn't reached out. It's mostly coincidence (that at times doesn't seem like it)

They don't talk about their feelings, they talk shit about people that piss them off, situations that make them wanna commit crimes, jokes around. Chat knows Marinette has more to her life than she tells him but it's okay because so does he.

They can tell each other things they don't think they can ever say out loud, not because they're their "true selves" but because who's going to hear the hopes and dreams that might never be accomplished? A boy who she doesn't even know the name of? A girl who'll probably never know who he is?

They don't imagine their life with each other in it, it's the kind of friendship you have with an exchange student in your school, a person just visiting town, they talk about their future but never imagine each other in it, because that'll break down the comfort they feel knowing that they have no major significant with another. (At least that's what they tell themselves)

It's always "I'll tell my friends I used to know the famous fashion designer before she was famous"

"I'll tell my kids I used to be friends with the great Chat noir"

And that's okay, it's what gives them the freedom to say whatever they think, say out loud the things they would never have anyways because that's the core of their friendship. It's not the kind where you plan hangouts, where you know each other's favorite colours, where you fear that saying something will affect your next conversation. Not one where you even know the others birthday, one where to get each other serious or any gifts at all

Sure Marinette gives him a sweater for winter patrol once only for him to find out that the back has a paragraph not so different to the "no protection, no lube..." comment when ladybug starts laughing uncontrollably.

They both have an addiction to murder podcasts. They plan the most precise murders in the middle of the night and switch to talking shit about murderers because they got caught.

They don't see each other as a life long friend but definitely one they don't plan to forget. They don't spend many nights together but the ones spend are all they will remember.

Their meeting aren't always the most convenient but they are also never boring. They don't have a normal friendship but that's also what's so special about their friendship. They might not know everything about one another or even close but they will be each other's murder alibi and that's what matters.

[exuberantocean]

Last night I was watching some of 13's run (fanfic research purposes) and thinking about the sheer amount of abuse it is implied the Doctor went through as the Timeless Child. And what struck me is that there really is such an implication of loss of power and agency and yet I think the Doctor sees themselves as having a much more active role. Like, it's clear they're more than a little scared of what they would find themselves to be if they opened that fob watch - especially given they're role in Division.

And yet all I see is coercion and resistance. The Doctor clearly attempted to flee at least once, probably much more than once given the existential of the Fugitive Doctor. Tacteun makes snide remarks about the Doctor's morality getting in the way, which I give you could just refer to their post Division days, but I really don't think it does. And finally, the Timeless Child was tortured for decades by Tecteun. How many times did they regenerate in Tecteun's lab? She killed them, again and again, just to see how regeneration worked. Literally hurt and murdered a child multiple times. They had no choice but to join Division when Tecteun decided they would.

But, you know, assuming more agency than you have, more power, more fault, is not uncommon in victims of abuse. There is a warped comfort in it, because it is so deeply disturbing to acknowledge you don't. I gives a weird sense of safety to think that it was your fault it happened so you can control the abuse in some way.

This is especially true with child abuse. Blaming the caregiver that is abusing you, undercuts the idea that they can provide for you and keep you safe and since you needs them to do that as child aren't yet capable, it's common to shift the blame to yourself. If course people are complex and much like the Doctor, most people end with complex and contradictory views iof their abusers - blaming both them and themselves.

Moreover, since the Doctor was found by Tecteun, she also has a "your not my real mother" moment where she imagines that maybe, maybe Tecteun stole her from her real mom/parents, stole her from a much different, much better life. She has no way of knowing if she had loving parents on the other side of the wormhole or if they would have been capable of retrieving her if she did.

And yet, just a short time later, the Doctor relates to Ruby, I was abandoned. I was adopted. They really have no way of knowing what happened to them at that age. The news is still new. It's unstabilizing to their sense of self at a deep level (which is part of why I think 14 regenerated into a familiar face - how often do we seek the familiar and comforting when faced with these little earthquakes?). And so they have an unstable self-narrative of their origin. That makes sense, their very understanding of who they are has been deeply fractured. They are, of course, the Doctor. We know them, but they don't know themself.

[kylieswift31]

The dark side of Taylor Swift's lucky number 13

Taylor has been performing at her concerts with her lucky number 13 written on her hand since her first fearless tour, but what if it doesn't have the same nostalgic meaning for Taylor Swift?

"I was born on the 13th, I turned 13 on Friday the 13th, by first album went gold in 13 weeks. Also, my first song that ever went number 1, it had a 13 second intro, I didn't even do that on purpose!"

The number 13 is most well known for being an unlucky number from the association it has with Friday the 13th, and the scary halloween movie series with the same title. Yet, many now see it as a good luck charm because Taylor has used it so prolifically throughout her career that it's become their lucky number too.

"I hate it here."

In the reputation prologue Taylor talks about the duality between the best and worst parts of ourselves, our deepest secrets and our favourite stories. And that the version we present to the public doesn't show the version we keep hidden. Everyone presents a mask of their best selves, but some of us do so while feeling the chasm between the two. This divergence then feels like the facade we present to others feels counterfeit to our inner selves.

"And for a fortnight there we were together."

This leads us to consider the other side of the coin behind the meaning of the number 13 and how it reflects Taylor's inner world. The title track of the tortured poets department is fortnight. This song fortnight isn't referencing a literal fortnight but her first album debut that contains 14 songs, excluding the pop version of teardrops on my guitar.

"All my Mondays are stuck in an endless February. I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary."

This debut album contains an honest and personal account of Taylor's life growing up. Revealing how lonely she felt at school, feeling like an outcast and her determination to keep going in spite of it all. When her fearless album was released there was a markedly increased use of male pronouns and names to replace the more neutral you, me and us pronouns used throughout debut.

"Marry me, Juliet!"

There are songs like love story where it switches to the male character's perspective and Taylor gets to sing honestly while singing about a heteronormative relationship. But for the most part, everyone else is associating the song with the type of love where finding a man or is the end of your story. This fairytale happily ever after is what Taylor became famous for. It's what made me fall in love with Taylor's work, but I also stayed for the depth and complexity of the inner version of Taylor I connected with too.

"I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic."

The "Mondays stuck in an endless February" lyric in the fortnight song is talking about the debut version of Taylor being stuck in the fearless era. The changes to Taylor's albums in the fearless era erased more of her inner voice. When others only like your public facade you show them, it leaves you feeling like who you are on the inside will never be good enough for anybody. This is what leads to the choice between giving up trying to fit in or exiling your past self in the hopes of being accepted.

"Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll."

This battle of wills is echoed throughout Taylor's entire discography. It's easy to fob this off as a repercussion of the contract with her first record label, but that ended with the reputation era. These themes have repeated over and over again throughout her work much longer than that. When you remove all male and female muses from the story, there's an evident thread of being at war with herself. While begging for her family, her father in particular, to accept the queer side of herself.

"Two graves, one gun."

In the tortured poets department there's references to wanting to come out, but having to stay closeted to protect her career. This is evident in the eras tour with performing a three hour show with a set from every era except for debut. Taylor is breaking her own records with the quality of work she's put out recently, while still talking about how she's lost more of herself than she ever expected to. The line about "two graves, one gun" shows how she lost herself in the beginning of her career and again when she showed more of her inner self with the aesthetic of the lover era. The karma coffee cup is a map of where the graves are buried, pointing towards both the end of the fearless era and the folklore era.

"When my depression works the graveyard shift, all the people I've ghosted stand there in the room."

In my first post I went into great detail about the connections between Taylor's life and the Truman show. Her connection to Truman's character is especially apparent between the folklore and evermore albums. Truman's character is aware of the fact that he is unwittingly the star of a reality show being broadcast to the world. There are a lot of parallels to Taylor's pop star persona and how famous she has become recently.

"The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me."

Truman's character reaches a breaking point where everything changes and realises what he wants to do with his life is too important to keep fulfilling the role everyone else wants him to fulfil. This is why the tortured poets department feels like a goodbye album. This is Taylor letting go of anyone who is not willing to see her for who she really is. As many of us experienced during the lockdowns, getting a taste of living without the mask makes it incredibly soul crushing to put back on again. The tortured poets department is a goodbye, but for Taylor it is a return home to herself. The tour for the lover era put a hold on her plans going forward, but created an opportunity to go even bigger than she already had planned.

"Put narcotics into all of my songs and that's why you're still singing along."

If we break down the symbology of the number 13 we can get a glimpse of what it represents for the closeted version of Taylor. The duality of the 3 as the letter M or W when it's flipped on it's side discloses the true pronouns within her music. The 1 is the shape of her microphone, but also the shape of a grave. Her love for women has been buried for the sake of her career. (It’s also XIII in Roman numerals.)

"I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday every day."

So if the 13 represents both Taylor's pop star persona with her birthday and the closeted version of Taylor, we can see how it epitomises both sides of the coin.

Coming out on the 31st of October would be an iconic date to reclaim the meaning behind the numbers and bring her love of women back out from the grave.

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

🧡🖤💜