#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it
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Why are people blaming the fact that Stan got kicked out on Ford and not on Filbrick
#sorry I just saw a post like that and I was like???#bro filbrick kicked him out not ford#“but he didn't do anything to stop it-” u do realise that Filbrick would had also probably kicked him out if he did right#also he had the right to be mad at stan he basically ruined his chances at going to his dream school and prove himself worthy#beyond being a “freak” and that's literally one important part of his character#and then stan refused to take responsibility for his actions#and of course stan absolutely did not deserve to be kicked out#but it's filbricks fault not fords#honestly why am I even trying to reason with a fandom that clearly doesn't understand how abuse and trauma can effect someone and has#- the mentality of victim blamers#ugh#I'm pissed#I hate this fandom#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#ford dw I'll defend you with my life#if filbrick has no haters I'm dead
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if anyone does anything that makes me feel even remotely out of control it changes my brain chemistry about them forever even if I know they mean well and want so badly for things to go back to the way they used to but they can never go back and I hate myself for that
#ill literally ruin every friendship ig#does anyone else experience this bc it’s actually so fucked up I hate it sm#and like im good at pretending it’s ok so even if the other person goes back to normal I never am#it’s like the grudge just stays forever no matter how much forgiveness I logical have#and the association w the person just feels sickening even if they r so full of love#and I think that talking about it will help but it just digs a further hole#like it always get resolved on their end but somehow I feel worse#I’ve lost some of the greatest ppl bc of this :(#like ppl make mistakes#and sometimes it’s not even a mistake or anything wrong im just insane#and then I feel I don’t treat them as well but not in ways they would notice ugh idk im actually fkd#hence I mostly cut them off bc I don’t wanna treat them badly they don’t deserve it#but im also sick of cutting ppl pff who r genuinely so nice and made one off comment#bc I’ve made plenty of off comments im sure bc im human and yet other ppl r ok w it like y can’t I be#anyways usually the whole reason they have even said anything that has put me off them is just their reaction to me being mentally ill#so it kinda all stems from me everytim LOL yay
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mcu is the best Loki so shut up you are wrong! Only tom hiddleston is the best Loki the rest are lame copycats especially these rp ones ugh
LMAAAAO AND YOU HAD TO GO ANONYMOUS AND BULLY MINORS ON THE INTERNET BECAUSE OF THIS???????? IF U'RE SURE THEN SHOW YOUR FACE COWARD
#HAHA WHITE MAN SIMP#ugh i hate mcu stans#I have been very passive about giving my opinion on the internet about the MCU#but I had a good laugh at this ask#Thank you very much for giving me more reasons to dislike the MCU and its fans :3#Seriously#what goes through someone's head to send that kind of message to someone who literally hasn't even spoken to you?#I wasn't lying when I said I laughed but this kind of message always makes me a little nervous and unable to breathe properly#since I have a constant need for approval#This kind of thing#no matter how small#can affect someone a lot.#Is it really worth sending this kind of thing#to a CHILD even#just to defend the honor of a guy you don't even know and who wasn't even mentioned at any time by that person?#anti mcu#anti mcu stans#mcu critical
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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been playing emerald for the first time on and off as of late and RSE Brendan is so different from ORAS Brendan it’s funny like you’re NOT my son who is this bratty kid 😭
#I hate to say it but I wouldn’t have cared for hoennshipping if RSE was my intro to it instead of ORAS 🫢#and that’s saying a lot cause hoennshipping is… literally the reason I draw.#I was so obsessed with dorky neighbor Brendan that I see RSE Brendan with his stupid lowkey 2000’s misogyny and I’m like….. bruh#the fact he says this shit while being dressed with that horrid outfit…..#Ugh I know hyo would kill me for saying all this crap he’s been wanting me to play emerald for ages and I just think it’s ok 🧍🏽♀️#I see emerald and all I can think is “wow Oras was such a good remake actually wtf” and I’m angry it took until BDSP for ppl to admit that#like if it took you until BDSP to realize ORAS isn’t a shitty remake then you don’t deserve ORAS in fact ur a faker Hoenn fan than I am!! /#Anyways I told Lexie and Maple this and Lexie was like “there’s a reason Brendan didn’t rank high until ORAS”#And Maple said “I didn’t even ship them until I met you and you were so passionate about it lmfao”#ORAS fixed Brendan tho maybe I’m exaggerating saying I wouldn’t like yuuharu if I played RSE first when I had a crush on CALEM in HS#CALEM YOUR FRIENDZONE SCENE GAVE ME SO MUCH PTSD I MADE MY SERENA A LESBIAN (nah I made her a lesbian for other reasons)#Ally shut up#Ally speaks words
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my lolita professor who i ta'd for emailed me back within fifteen minutes and said she'd love to get together when i'm back in town.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
i highly recommend getting at least one tenured professor who (metaphorically) holds you in her arms and tells you you're on the right path bc. it's a helluva drug
#i'm literally ALWAYS terrifeid to reach out bc i'm convinced she hates me and she always replies so nice and ugh we just gush at each other#she's like my best friend except she scares me and i think wrote a not so great rec letter for me but stillllllll#she's literally the ENTIRE reason i'm on this path#i would never have considered literature i would never have considered academia seriously
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pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this
#tomgreg#where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go.#so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him.#who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal.#who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now.#he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that#would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out.#he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love?#a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case.#and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl.#you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you.#you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you.#the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic.#and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god#they are so annoying. anyway#the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!!#what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul.#then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE#or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye
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Comm for @hirokiyuu of their OCs Yuujin & Leona!
I AM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME A MONTH!!!!! CRIES THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!! And I'm sorry the draft i tried to send didn't work- I hope this is something like what you had in mind regardless. ^^;
EDIT I JUST REALIZED I LEFT OUT YUUJINS PIERCINGS..... i'll add those & modify the post in a bit 😅 dang it. sorry bout that
#i am about to go on a brief rant i apologize#I had to redraw this. three separate times. because the first program I did it in wouldn't export it at all (thankfully it was only a draft#but like wft right?) and then i had to do another draft & do the lines for the new one#and my dumb idiot ass ended up doing it in PHOTOSHOP for some reason. NEVER ANIMATE IN PHOTOSHOP IF YOU CAN HELP IT#i hate it. SO much. When i was doing my senior project a few years ago I told my advisors i was going to do it in flash. and i did.#but one of my senior project advisors was like 'you should do it in photoshop! it's better quality!'#and i had to restrain myself from being like 'i would literally rather die. you could shoot me and it would be preferable'#and i am remembering why I felt that way!!!!!!!! grits teeth#psa to all artists out there. dont. animate in photoshop. or if you do please let me know how you deal with no onionskin. ugh#anyway im sorry about that rant lol. im happy with how this came out and i hope you are too! ^^;#thank you again for commissioning me :) hope you have a lovely rest of your evening!#i am slowly. slowly chugging along again. i apologize once again for the wait on the comms
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regretting not saying my piece about this tiresome discourse that occasionally comes up around two specific 2023 movies bc its not relevant at all anymore but i have finally figured out how to put my thoughts into words
#i let it go uncommented on but now im like wait why have i let a bunch of people haughtily make a stupid argument. ugh#especially when so much of the posting about it is from people who havent even seen both movies and are blatantly wrong abt one of them...#avpost#well anyway all i can say is its cringe of you to hate on one movie for a specific reason and then hype up another movie#that literally does the exact same thing! what are you even talking about smfh
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I'm still not feeling great. now one side of my face also hurts lol, it's just one thing after another, this body sucks
#no idea what my face is complaining about but I'm sure it'll be fine in a couple of days#it's really annoying how used I am to 'things just randomly hurt a lot for no reason' lol#but anyway! I've finally made an appointment with a different ENT doctor. somehow I'm not okay with just being told my eardrum just doesn't#work (for no reason. at least none that I've been told) and that they won't do anything about it and I'm just gonna live with it#like if that's the best thing sure! then that's fine! but literally being told that I'm imagining everything is not enough :)#I don't care I just refuse to have this be the last thing I hear about this. that piece of shit doctor can go fuck himself and I hope he#gets hit by a bus (and then told that he's just imagining it)#plus. the tube thing they put in my ear did help at least a bit. but when I asked about that this jerk just said they won't do that over#and over 'for the next 90 years' and that I just have to live with it. my guy. I'm not planning on making it to 122?! and also I never#fucking asked for that? I just wanted to know if there's any OPTIONS. like doing that again. or anything else. and he just kept cutting me#off whenever I talked. ugh I fucking hate this guy.#anyway so I hope this lady will be better.#somehow I've had really bad luck with ENT doctors specifically?! I hope not all of them suck....#personal
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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the more i think about it the more mad i get that she didn’t use i can do it with a broken heart as the single
#ttpd#would’ve been perfect for so many reasons#1. it’s actually catchy#2. references the whole last year of eras mania#3. has some cute tik tok hooks (sad but true)#like it was RIGHT THERE#ugh the more i sit s the album the more annoyed i am bc there is something genuinely really good in there#but instead it’s such a MESS#and everyone saying that’s the point — like okay? that doesn’t mean it’s good tho#also like you can’t say oh no it’s bad but she did that on purpose so it’s ok#like bffr it’s just bad! but if she’d cut it down 1 standard album and released a good single?#and called it literally anything else?? (i hate the title <3)#ugh. this could’ve been amazing. instead it’s … what it is
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:) :) :) :) :)
#if anyone. ANYONE. even people who condemn Vigilante Justice and talk about [xyz thing that was apparently wrong with him]#straight-up openly thirsts over the shooter and talks about how hot they think he is on a personal preference level#I am blocking you and never speaking to you again.#is this petty? yeah probably. almost definitely.#but I've earned the right to be petty after seeing all these fuck-ass awful takes on literally every subject imaginable#we NEED to put more '''''ugly''''' people in public positions this is actually IMPERATIVE#the fucking leeway you will give ANY white man who you think is attractive jesus FUCKING christ#it doesn't matter!!!! how you look is a morally neutral thing!!!!!!! most people are not '''''hot''''' actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!#get a hobby!!!!! worry about something actually meaningful for once!!!!!!!!!!!#find a fictional character who's horrible instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh I forgot. we can't like horrible fictional constructs for any reason that's bad. we can stan literally anyone irl though.#murderers. fundamentalists. abusers. dictators. the guy formerly known as bren------s.#THAT'S all fine.#I can't believe I'm going to say this. I hate this phrase and I think more often than not it is used in very bad faith but: SOOOOOO many of#you for real need to go out and touch grass#like for your own self-preservation#and for the sanity of the rest of us#current events#tw: guns#my God I have blocked and unfollowed more people in the past month than like. the entirety of my almost-eight-years here probably#UGH. good-BYE#(once again asking myself if I should legit just deactivate but I would lose touch with a few people and also access to some of my#beloved fandom communities)
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Christ alive, just woke up to someone picking a fight with me over the concept of adopting fictional kids, in a very aggressive way: someone who didn't even follow me and thought my fictional f/os were OCs despite their clear sources in my bio.
If anyone actually wants to have a productive and private discussion about how that's handled in my familial selfships and my personal feelings on adoption as a kid who spent years getting bounced around other families (and as a person who's considering being a foster parent in a financially stable future), then that's cool and fine.
For the moment, if I accidentally blocked that person's sideblog and they're still interacting with my blog with a different username but I can't see them anymore, please let me know. I've had that happen before and I'm not 100% sure if tumblr has fixed that ridiculous feature but I would appreciate the help from anyone who sees this post <3
#all of this was over octavia#who literally stays with her dad half the time and me half the time#if you wanna start with trauma let's address her mum trying to kill her dad and go from there#maybe eventually we'll get to my self-insert but i'm not fucking sure#ugh i hate people coming out of left field#there are things i expect to be critiqued for but this is not goddamn one of them#again i am open to reasonable questions and issue-raising#i'm just a bit worked up right now#grump grump grump#vent#adoption discourse#i guess
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In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1
#oc liveblogging#ughhhhhhh i really CANNOT afford to be procrastinating rn but i know this happens when im extremelyyyyyy fucking stressed.#creative/art related classes always get me for this reason bc ill use 'wait but i need to find inspiration!' as an excuse to procrastinate.#fuckkkkkkkkkk. UGH IM NOT EVEN WRITING SOMETHING FROM SCRATCH ITS JUST A FINAL REVISION BUT IM CONVINCED IT SUCKS#the worst part is hkjhkjGHKJ I HAVE TO PRESENT SOME OF THIS SHIT AT AN. INTERNATIONAL FUCKING CONFERENCE GUYS. GUYSYSSSS#anyways this post is sadly not related to that. nothing im presenting is related to my ocs [un]fortunately lmao#ive just been thinking rotating various oc stories around in my head again ourgghhhh.#and i realized this LMAO. i mean maybe technically not 2 separate stories anymore because im recycling a lot from one for the other?#one of these was already established lowkey and the other was something i made for an assignment for a class like 2 years ago#i actually don't know if petunie will be blonde in her final incarnation?? ive always imagined her as silvery blonde ig but idk#if ill keep that. she doesnt have proper colors like colin but at least colin has his design set more straight somewhat.#and all the recent petunie development is lowkey really fucking funny to think abt. i girlbossed with her character development so#hard that she really replaced lucian as a protagonist HAHAJSDHKGJ. ok well not 100% kamille's story is a shoot-off#of lucian's technically? i guess? it started becoming that and now its solidified as that lowkey bc same town same place time period people#but man if im not careful i might accidentally make kamille/petunie's arc THE default one and lucian's main one the offshoot instead#a lot remains to be seen. but also yeah the other one who's story is mostly getting recycled (myrtille) actually ALSO HAD HER MOM#COME FROM THIS SAME FUCKING PLACE BASICALLY. a few decades later but still bruh given developments for lucian's story too its just like#at this point im noticing a pattern man wtf is wrong w/ women who come from this town specifically lol. 😔🥴#this town in general is just fucking cursed though i think ahkjshkg. i mean that jokingly and literally lolololl i gotta. work on it. but y#I HATE IT HERE WHY ARE WEIRD LITTLE FUCKING TOWNS WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS ALWAYS A CONSISTENT TROPE IN MY STORIES /silly#I DONT EVEN COME FROM A WEIRD LITTLE TOWN MY HOMETOWN IS LIKE. AVERAGE NORMALISH NOT SUPER LARGE??? IDFK?????#haaaaaaa fuck i need to finish this by the end of TODAY I S2G!!! SO I CAN MOVE ON TO ALL THE OTHER SHIT I OWE FUCKKKK
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If you want to find the most wildly hateful internalized misogynists then look no further than the comments section on any shoujo/romance comic.
#so interesting how much some of these girls hate the fl for literally no reason than the crime of not being a blank slate to project onto#its especially obvious on webcomics with ml that are drawn excessivly attractive#like its a strange equation....#the more hot a ml is the more hated the fl is#esp annoying when like i see comments before i read that are like /UGH!!! she is so ANNOYING always whining!!/#so i expect her to be like that but then shes not#like she actually quite strong and mature and a but bratty but otherwise not whiny#and she only actually cries in one chapter and its a pretty valid reason to cry#and its like hmmmmm...... maybe we didnt read the same comic just now#personal
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