#for legal reasons this is a joke and fake

[bizarrelittlemew]

subscribe to his channel!!

[theinfinitedivides]

recently every time i read an Aldis Hodge interview and he's geeking out like 'i got married!!!!! i have a kid!!!!! i'm going to be in [insert title of next coolest project here]!!!!!' my thought process is just 1. congratulations, ofc you're geeking out (as you should) and 2. do you need a third

[ariapmdeol]

hello! can you expand on what you mean by "pro cannibalism"? I know it seems obvious but I struggle sometimes, so I wanna make sure I understand what you mean

it's because i love cannibalism 🫶 it's my birthday i think i should get a little human flesh as a treat

more seriously: it's a joke referencing a previous anon who called me a 'pro cannibalism individual'. I thought it was funny so i embraced the title SADKJLJDLASK

the more detailed context is I like a lot of media with cannibalism in it, and make a lot of jokes about it! i am The Cannibalism Mutual ^_^

I think it's peak romance 💖 Peak symbolism 💖 incredibly funny 💖 a delightful little snack 💖 fellas is it gay as a man to eat another man (yes) 💖 i love eating human flesh 💖 this is yaoiyuri. to me 💖

[just-slightly-chayotic]

everything can be a kimchay au if you have enough imagination. which is to say that the interaction i just had with one of my new neighbours is going in my wip list

[wh00psramblings]

only after writing a really long post i realised my main gripe with the new itzy album is that all the songs either sound like itzy b-sides which belong on different albums or dont sound like itzy

like gold sounds like nmixx, imaginary friend just doesnt sound like itzy and bad girls r us n supernatural feel like you took itzy and sprinkled in some ive? then five sounds like a mature version of an early b-side

which yk usually wouldnt be bad (the album is like 1-2 title tracks n 3 b sides) but in an album where no song made be go HELL YH it just means the entire album was kinda underwhelming

its an album which i feel like is aggressively good but underwhelming and it might be because my favourite itzy tracks are from born to be and guess who which we can all agree that gold is not rlly similar to these but still i dont think many of these songs are going into my playlist which is wild bc like 75% of itzys discography is in there

like im not saying the album is bad its just good, not great, not shit, just good

like ive only been an itzy fan since the kill my doubt era (though i did catch up on their discography dw) but this album didnt make me go "HELL YH IM AN ITZY STAN" unlike born to be did and especially after kill my doubt born to be felt like a natural progression but gold doesnt feel like a natural progression of born to be

it kind of feels like jyp are trying to look at options for itzy but i think its happening in a very messy way where jyp have a schedule they cant just not release for a year while they sort out changing and evolving itzys sound and i think that shows especially badly in gold

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about nora again

[pr]

"oh well youre not a NATURAL redhead" thats right bitch i am an UNNATURAL redhead, do you know how much more insane that makes me???? to pay thousands of dollars to maintain this identity and i LOVE it????

[thomas-mvller]

[kitofawriter]

I’m constantly flipping between “I couldn’t possibly be autistic! Someone would’ve noticed!” And remembering that I used to sort beads for fun. Like I had one of those boxes of pony beads and I would dump them all together then sort them into their own pockets because it was fun.

[swiftie-as-a-coursing-river]

YLM is actually a hiddleswift anthem but she wrote it from HIS perspective bc she did him so dirty 😇

[ourdreamsareneon]

When your coworker that is of beekeeping age tells you he's contemplating taking up beekeeping

[mariacallous]

https://meidasnews.com/news/republican-mayor-of-3rd-largest-city-in-az-endorses-harris

John Giles, the Republican Mayor of Mesa, Arizona, wrote an OpEd today for the Arizona Republic stating the reasons why he is endorsing Kamala Harris for President. Mesa is the 3rd largest city in Arizona, and the Arizona Republic is the largest newspaper by circulation in the crucial battleground state. 

Giles listed the following reasons why he can't support Donald Trump: 1. He refused to accept the outcome of the 2020 election, and continues to do so. 2. He continues to trash the American legal system to delegitimize it. 3. He orchestrated the "fake elector" scheme in Arizona. 4. He orchestrated the sham "audit" of the election by the Arizona Senate and Cyber Ninjas. 5. He blocked the bipartisan border bill negotiated in the Senate. 6. He treated Infrastructure Week like a joke when cities like his badly needed it.

7. He is a convicted felon and threat to the nation. 8. He has threatened to abandoned NATO. 9. He has eroded public confidence in our institutions. 10. His advisors and associates drafted Project 2025, which is a threat to our freedoms. 11. He is crude and vulgar. Giles then listed the reasons why he isn't just anti-Trump, he is also pro-Harris: 1. The Administration delivered on their promise with infrastructure funding for the Phoenix-Mesa Airport, and made technological investments in the transportation sector. 2. Thousands of new jobs are being created in Arizona with the CHIPS Act. 3. She has taken a strong stand against gun violence. 4. She has taken a strong stand for women's rights which are under assault from MAGA Republicans.

Giles then concluded with the following: "We can choose a future for our children and grandchildren based on decency, respect and morality — or succumb to the crudeness and vulgarity of Trump and J.D. Vance and the far-right agenda they would champion.

Arizona leaders like McCain and Sen. Mark Kelly have embodied the commitment to country over party. And it’s that same high caliber of character and leadership I see in Vice President Harris.

That’s why I’m standing with her. Kamala Harris is the competent, just and fair leader our country deserves. This year too much is at stake to vote Republican at the top of the ticket.

It will take Arizona Republicans, independents and Democrats standing together against a far-right agenda. Let us put country over party by voting to stop Trump and protect our democracy."

Powerful stuff. 

Winning back Arizona is crucial for Donald Trump. It is difficult to see any electoral path to victory for Trump without Arizona. He has continued to support candidates in that state like Kari Lake and Blake Masters who are toxic to moderate voters. He continues to attack the McCain family, who remain popular with those same moderate Arizona voters. 

This endorsement by Giles certainly doesn't help Donald Trump, and gives a big boost to Kamala Harris in Arizona.

[magicpiano]

DCxDP AU where Dani fakes being an alien.

Dani's obsession with travel also left her with a desire to know more about the places she couldn't travel to, like Krypton and Mars. Considering the vast majority of both those populations are dead, it was easy enough for her to befriend some ghost aliens. From them she learns about their culture and language.

At some point one of her new friends jokes that her ghost powers kind of function like a mix of Kryptonian and Martian biology. She laughs. It is just a joke.

At least till she is in danger. The GIW finally found her. She is scared and desperate and tells a lie. Dani screams out, "Superman, if you can hear me, I am Kryptonian too and they are trying to capture me. Please help."

She doesn't actually expect this plan to work. It was a last ditch hail Mary. She figured she would (fully) die here, but even if he was on the other side of the earth he hears her and comes to her rescue.

But see, actions have consequences and now that she is safe she needs to keep the lie going. It is a good thing her alien ghost friends are willing to help her create a fabricated story about how a Martin and a Kryptonian managed to get to earth, have a child, and for some reason aren't around anymore.

It is not an ideal situation, but being an alien is legal while being a ghost isn't, so what's a girl to do? If there is one thing a child who travels the world alone knows how to do, it is lie and bullshit their way through any situation.

Meanwhile, Clark and J'onn are thrilled and fighting each other for custody.

[svltzmans]

bet - h.m.

hope mikaelson x fem! reader

warnings: smut 18+! wrote most of this late at night (sorry if there are nonsense sentences) reader and hope drink a teeny bit (but are both of legal drinking age) <3

"truth or dare?"

hope erupts into laughter. she's sure y/n wasn't actually asking her to play a sleepover game invented by twelve year olds.

then again, y/n had suggested crazier things after a drink or two.

playing a party game on the floor of hope's bedroom was tame.

"i'm serious," y/n insists, before inadvertently starting to giggle alongside hope. "which one?"

"truth, i guess, i don't trust you to give me a dare," hope had to get on y/n's nerves a bit, considering she was the reason they were playing this immature game in the first place.

y/n feigns offense, bringing her hand to her chest in exaggerated shock. "you don't trust me?"

"not with this. now, what do you wanna hear the truth about?" hope quips, taking a sip of her beverage.

"how can i make this as scandalous as possible?"

"so i can't trust you with truths either?"

y/n can't help but laugh at hope once again, and before they know it, they're both laughing until they're out of breath.

"so, have you ever faked an orgasm?"

hope practically chokes on air, taken aback by the forward nature of y/n's question.

y/n continues to laugh. "sorry, too forward?"

"i mean, it's truth or dare. might as well make it interesting. yeah, i have."

"no way." y/n stares at hope with a doubtful look in her face.

"i honestly don't think i've ever... not faked one."

"what? you've never...?"

"i mean, i have by myself. never with anyone else."

y/n couldn't believe the conversation she was having with hope. they had always been close, but not quite this close.

hope hides her face behind her hands. "don't look at me like that!"

"that's just... pathetic," y/n laughs before finishing her sentence. "people still can't make a girl cum."

hope's breath hitches at the vulgarity of the conversation. she'd be lying if she said she wasn't enjoying the tension.

"well, they otherwise were winners i suppose."

hope's attempt to defend her taste in partners fails miserably, with y/n stifling a laugh.

"what, like you could do better?" hope interjects smugly, crossing her arms dramatically across her chest.

"i bet i could."

hope is sure y/n is joking. they had shared many laughs throughout the night.

but y/n is looking at her in a way that tells her she's dead serious.

and before she knows it, she's leaning into y/n, pulling her lips into her own.

y/n is swift at lifting hope off the floor and into her lap, hands firm on her thighs.

hope's hips inadvertently rock back and forth, gasps escaping under her breath.

y/n flips them over, hovering over hope laying on her back.

"strip," she mutters, with a sudden confidence.

hope is quick to oblige, shuffling out of her outfit in record time.

"you're perfect," y/n lowly mumbles. "spread your legs."

hope almost whines at her command before following it.

y/n rests her head between hope's legs, lightly kissing her thighs.

hope had never experienced so much care in this type of situation - or been so filled with need.

"my god y/n just hurry up- oh,"

hope's complaint is interrupted by y/n's tongue on her aching clit, her hands pushing her thighs further apart.

she whines when y/n pulls away, a smirk plastered on her face.

"already fucking you better than the others, huh?" she taunts, inches away from hope's pussy.

hope pulls her back in by the hair. "keep doing that. we have a goal here, don't we?"

"touché," y/n mutters before sucking hope's clit into her mouth.

"fuck, y/n. just like that."

motivated by hope's praise, y/n is unrelenting. she didn't intend to go easy on her.

"you're so good at that," hope mewls, running her fingers through y/n's hair.

hope presses her legs together, the sight of y/n between them making her moan.

she rocks her hips back and forth, letting y/n's tongue roll over her in a way that nearly sends her over the edge.

"i'm, i'm close, so close," she manages to growl, her back arching into y/n. "please don't stop, you're gonna make me cum."

hope is blabbering the words out, her brain only able to focus on the feeling.

y/n makes eye contact with hope, looking deeply at her with an expression of pure desire, throwing her over the edge.

hope lets out a raspy moan, her vision briefly going black. she swears she's on another planet by the time her body finally relaxes.

y/n smirks up at hope. "i won the bet."

"that you did," she responds, still out of breath.

[dairy-farmer]

Tim is the prosecutor who successfully argues that the Joker should get the death penalty and Jason is completely enthralled by him

!!!!!!

the problem that jason and the other bats face with many of the rogues, not just joker, is that it's hard to change a courts decision that someone is NOT criminally insane. because the things that joker, poison ivy, mad hatter, two face, or any combination of the arkham crew do are very clearly rooted in insanity. who would create a gas just to make people laugh themselves to death if not an insane person? who would make man eating plants if not an insane person?

and so the revolving door of arkham is hard to stop. dangerous inmates are sent there, dangerous inmates escape, cause havoc, kill and traumatize the general population, they're captured, sent back, and wash and repeat.

jason attempting to kill the gotham inmates no matter how much people say they deserve it is opening a huge can of worms. bats running around killing the legally declared mentally ill? not a good look because arkham is the butt of every joke in gotham in its conversation about crime, news anchors love to deride it when complaining about how the city and state spends millions on it. but it DOES work.

not for joker or the other rogues, but they make up less than 1% of the facility's residents. its those that are sent there for a year or so because of the mental breaks they suffer from living in a place like gotham that benefit. arkham's max security inmates are essentially a lost cause, low hope of ever rehabilitating and even if they did their sentences state they they will die in those cinderblock rooms and be buried in arkham's unmarked cemetary. but the minimum security inmates? gotham funnels millions to arkham because its one of the few, if ONLY, well funded sanitariums for psychiatric illness on the entire east coast. arkham's minimum security produces the lowest rate of reoffenders in the state, is a major reason the poor and underinsured are able to recieve quality mental health care at all, and helps make sure that blackgate doesn't become over saturated with people who only committed crimes because of psychiatric issues.

politicians running for reelection use keeping arkham funded as a way to gain and maintain support. because gotham leads the country in rates of violent crime, drug use, and homelessness. all of which are contributing factors to worsened mental health. and in gotham? everyone knows someone or is related to someone who has been or interacted with arkham in some way whether its a six month hold at their facility, a 50 step program, or some other way.

and having people turn on the nightly news and seeing the headline 'gotham inmate killed by red hood'? it's not good. it scares people away from seeking help and makes things worse in the long run.

it's why jason has never gone after any of the arkham crew with intent to permanently put them down. and so joker gets to keep breathing. until tim.

and tim does not have an easy battle to fight because hundreds of lawyers before him have tried. but being able to successfully argue that the joker ISN'T insane and is, in fact, fully aware of his actions and so he no longer qualifies for arkham? it's a hard thing to do. to make the argument that joker is essentially a fraud who has exaggerated and faked mental illness to avoid jail. those who have done so before have personally gained joker's attention and ended up dead during the nest breakout. and those that weren't stll didn't succeed persuading a court because...joker's got a good lawyer.

because it's a mob lawyer and mob lawyers are fucking good. it's why other arkham rogues also successfully plead insanity. the mob knows that if the rogues weren't around batman would be solely focused on them and so they always pick up the tab on legal fees and joker stays in an arkham cell waiting for his next taste of freedom.

but tim is different. tim does not focus on joker, the clown prince of crime. he focuses on something else. jason's not sure how long tim spent on the case, on the lengths he had to go to to track down witnesses, gather statements, find age old security footage that had sat rotting in police stations in the middle of nowhere.

people like joker don't just magically get good at killing, at holding people hostage, at building bombs. however or whenever the joker had gone insane- it wouldn't have magically imbued him with the knowledge to cause chaos the way he had. he had to have learned it somehow.

and tim finds out how. before databases to categorize evidence existed, most police stations just stored samples they found in evidence bags and left them in a storage room until time came to test them against a suspect. but never getting a suspect meant that the evidence just sat unused.

when batman first caught joker the first thing he did was store his blood and dna on the computer to match up with any future crimes. but he hadn't found any past crimes, mostly because the evidence batman could have used was sitting in a police station whose most technologically advanced equipment was a new coffee maker.

people like joker don't appear out of nowhere. and he didn't.

tim finds trails of crime dating back a near decade before "joker" appeared in gotham. only he didn't go by joker. he went by jack napier. some failure, drop out chemistry student that made money by building bombs and stealing chemicals for low brow gangs. murdered security guards, dead gas station cashiers, a high way patrol officer. bodies and crime from philadelphia, to trenton, to atlantic city, and ending in gotham where jack had remained ever since.

joker had been declared legally insane. but jack napier? after getting expelled for trying to steal from the chem lab, one of the university's psychologists had evaluated him and recommend the school press charges. because during their talk it was revealed that jack was no more a slave to impulse than he was. that he'd gone in with clear intent and planning, that he was aware of consequences, and that he was not an individual that could be trusted to remain on campus. the university called the police but by the time they arrived jack had cleared out his dorm.

from there the crime spree was traceable. with eyewitnesses and dna putting him at the scene of where a 17 year old cashier was shot in the face so jack could leave with a full tank of gas and $45.67 in money from the register. the car he was using that matched the description of where a highway patrol was mowed down during a traffic stop. more dead cashiers and dead security guards at chemical supply companies, including one less than 5 miles from jack napier's university that was robbed the same day he was expelled and where a student id had been found at the scene.

it was sloppy work, buckets and mountains of evidence tying jack to all those crimes. it's something a prosecutor could only DREAM of.

and tim had found it. and could use it. because both new jersey and pennsylvania had no statute of limitations on murder.

but there was still one key difference between the two states that swayed tim's decision on where to take the bar exam to get licensed.

it was something that made jason pay very close attention when yet another prosecutor wandered into the gotham courthouse with papers to begin an Interstate extradition for joker from new jersey to pennsylvania.

it was important that joker be tried in pennsylvania.

because unlike new jersey, pennsylvania had the death penalty.

and joker may be legally declared mentally ill, he was not mentally incompetent.

so, if found guilty, the state would kill him. he would die.

he would die and pay for crimes he comitted decades ago under a different name. crimes he probably didn't even consider as 'worth' the joker.

and jason sees how that starts to settle in for him when joker's face twitches as the courts start referring to him as 'mr. napier' and 'jack napier' instead of his preferred title.

barbara had always said calling the rogue gallery by their stupid made up names like joker or mad hatter or poison ivy just further reinforced and encouraged them. but using civilian names always tended to make them all angry or violent so the bats refrained from it.

and yet here jason was in the raftors of the court watching the sweating judge, the clerk, the court reporter, the lawyers, and tim drake hesitantly use joker's real name and then grow more confident and then boldly turning to a furious joker and asking "mr. napier do you understand the proceedings happening here?"

jason's at the courthouse along with the rest of the bats.

when bruce had caught wind of the extradition going through he'd gone quiet and then, in a strange toned voice, told the rest of them they'd be on protection detail at the courthouse and escorting the prison transport until jok- bruce had stopped and then said "jack napier" was in custody at a philadelphia prison.

it's a tense few months. once out of gotham joker doesn't have his connections not with guards or goons and can't stage his usual breakouts. bruce is out of gotham through the entirety of the trial, setting up camp in philly because he wasn't going to be taking any chances.

dick said he thought it was because bruce still didn't quite think it was really going to happen. it's like all of gotham was waiting with bated breath over the outcome of the trial. every update was plastered all over the news and on the radio. a few of gotham's hometown news stations had even begun making the drive to the courthouse to film as much of the proceedings rather than using shots made by other and more local news crews.

in gotham everyone is restless especially the capes. this is a case none of them have had a hand in. and its not like gotham's legal system is fully incompetent it was just that everyone knew things went smoother if the bats were involved. but here not a single one of them had touched decades old murder cases comitted alongside and on a stretch of empty road.

bruce was stepping on more than a few tail feathers, strongarming into someone else's territory. based on what dick said the capes from the philadelphia area were none too happy over his prescense but willing to give him a break given everything.

jason knew more than a few capes were paying close attention and that clark even did frequent checks of joker in his cell on bruce's request.

it's a high stakes situation. if it doesn't work it'll be the biggest disappointment any of them have ever felt. so they try not to get their hopes up.

but still.

[desperate-gay]

1v1

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

“Hi, I’m Kelley O'Hara, and this is one v one. Today I am joined by former NWSL player who now plays for Barcelona and the USWNT, Y/n Y/l/n!” Kelley does jazzy hands towards you while you smile and wave at one of the many cameras pointed at the two of you.

Both you and Alexia decided to take a trip to the states so you could see all of your friends and family and so Alexia could take a break from all the press who followed her around. You both share an apartment in New York in case you’re ever in the US and, obviously, a house in Spain. Kelley asked if you’d be okay with doing one of the interviews she conducts with Just Women’s Sports, and of course, you said yes. You’ve missed her since the World Cup ended, so who were you to say no? Alexia decided to stay back and rest for a bit while you went.

You’re now seated in front of multiple cameras with a few crew members and beside Kelley. The room you’re in is nice and calm, and the window behind you allows the natural light to peek its way in.

“Now, getting straight into it, I introduced you as Y/n Y/l/n, but soon you won’t have that name,” Kelley smirks with a teasing eyebrow while you blush and fiddle with the ring on your finger. “Seeing as your lover, aka the goat of soccer, aka la reina, aka Alexia Putellas, proposed to you a couple of months ago.”

You laugh at the multiple names the brunette presents your fiancé with. “First of all, Alexia is going to be mad at you for calling it soccer and her la reina. Second, yes, my name will very soon be legally changed.” Kelley starts applauding with a bright smile on her face.

“I can’t believe two of my teammates are going to be married to basically the two best female soccer players ever! Mrs. and Mrs. Putellas, then Mrs. Kerr and Mrs. Mewis.” You nod excitedly, hoping for your wedding to approach sooner.

“I remember when you came up to me and Kristie, explaining to us how we couldn’t talk to our fiancé’s about our game plans.” The defender laughs and nods her head, remembering how offended both of you looked. “Me and Kristie are still mad at you for not trusting us.”

Kelley puts her hands in fake surrender before going on to explain. "Well, a couple of us were thinking about how you two are with the enemy, and one of us just had to make sure.”

“A couple of you?” You shout in disbelief, making her look at the camera with a worried face. “Nope, cut the cameras. Interview is off!” You joke as you make it look like you’re taking off your mic. The crew chuckles at your guy’s antics and shakes their heads.

—

After several minutes of talking about why you moved to Barca and how you’ve been over there, you are now down to the last discussion.

“As we all know, you’re with Alexia Putellas, as previously mentioned. A lot of fans want to know how the it couple met.” Kelley’s legs are crisscrossed on the chair while she faces you. “I mean, I already know the story, but gotta give the fans what they want.”

Thinking back, it was a cute little story. A couple of Spanish players were in the states for whatever reason, most likely for conferences, and you didn’t have anything to do that day.

“Well, we all know my bestest friend is the one and only Christen Press, and she’s also friends with the amazing Jenni Hermoso. So when word got around they were in town, everyone set plans to go to this nice club and essentially hang out. I specifically remember after Chris and Tobin dragged me with them when we got there and sat in the round booths, both Jenni and Chris forced me and Alexia in the middle to sit next to each other. We got to talking, and eventually, we went on a couple of dates until Jenni and Christen finally admitted they had been trying to set us up.”

Most of what you say is true, but you leave out some parts to keep it PG. After you both got extremely drunk, Alexia dragged you to her hotel room, where you both had an unrestful night. The next morning, she did explain how she’d love to take you on a date, to which you said yes, and now you’re happily engaged. After you two were together for around a year and a half, Barca had an offer for you, which you quickly accepted. Everyone adored how you moved to the club with your fiancé.

Kelley’s head rests on her hand as she stares at you in a complete trance. “Tell me more.”

You laugh at her words and say, “Umm, oh! Now Christen is my maid of honor for our wedding, and Jenni is Alexia’s. Mapi was not happy about being knocked down to just a bridesmaid or groomsman, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m a little offended that I wasn't offered the position of maid of honor.” The brunette places a hand on her heart in fake hurt, making you roll your eyes.

“You’re literally one of my bridesmaids. I can just put you as a guest if you want."

“No! No, I’m cool with bridesmaids.”

—

Once the interview was done, you and Kelley hung out for a little bit to catch up. After a while, she offered you a ride back to your apartment, which you gladly accepted.

Alexia is sitting on the couch with Nala in her lap when she hears the fiddle of keys in the doorway. The pomeranian jumps up from her lap and over towards the place where you now stand. You crouch down and pet through her fur.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hola, mi amor.” Alexia makes her way over to you and pecks you on the lips.

“I was actually talking to this one.” You gesture to the dog that’s now panting in your arms. The taller girl glares at you and takes Nala from your arms before beginning to walk away. “No no no no no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say as you press multiple kisses on her lips.

“That’s what I thought.” She mumbles against you and sets the ball of fluff on the ground. Her hands grab onto your hips, pulling you in, and start to wrap around your waist. She nuzzles her face in the crook of your neck while placing feather-like kisses on your skin. “I’ve missed you.”

You wrap your arms back around her, feeling all of your tension go away. “Awe, I’ve missed you too, baby. I know I’ve only been gone for a few hours, but it felt like years.” Your voice is muffled by your face being pressed against her chest.

“I’m glad you decided to sleep with the enemy.” You pull back from the embrace and notice her little smirk.

“You saw the interview, huh?”

The Spanish player nods before hooking her arm behind your legs and lifting you up. “Now, I have been patiently waiting for you to get home so I can get my daily cuddles.”

She struts off into your bedroom and throws you, not so gently, on the bed. Cutting off your complaining, she jumps on top of you, hugging your body and resting her head on your stomach. You shake her head with a smile on your face and begin to run your fingers through her faded pink hair. Her head slowly rises and falls due to your breathing, but it still lulls her right to sleep. Nala jumps beside you and also rests her head on your chest, causing you to smile softly and run your other hand through her fur. There is no other place you’d rather be than with your two favorite girls sleeping on top of you.