#for how bad the last couple of seasons were god damn were the high points of this show done so well

[daincrediblegg]

Feeling compelled to liveblog my covid got rewatch again because jesus the battle of castle black was fun as hell and also god damnit oberyn martell why did you have to be such a cocky little cunt

[animebw]

Short Reflection: My Hero Academia Season 6

I try not to be too smug when talking about anime. Discussing media always works best when you keep an open mind to all perspectives, so if someone has an opinion I disagree with, I do my best to disagree politely and present my side of the argument fairly. I’m not always successful, but I always make the attempt. Today, though? I feel justified in being a bit of a smarmy jackass. So allow me to present a couple of quotes from my review of My Hero Academia’s fifth season, back when everyone was calling it the worst show in the world because it made a couple arcs 50% less bloody.

“All this is to say, don’t be surprised when My Hero Academia once again becomes the most beloved shonen on the planet heading into its final stretch. Because this show has far from run its course yet.”

“Season 5 may be a low point in its history, but the fact that its low point is still so damn high is a testament to why this show deserved to conquer the world in the first place. My Hero Academia is still good, and I’ll be happy to say “I told you so” when the final seasons blow everyone’s socks off and make them fall in love with it all over again.”

Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, allow me to state, on record, that I fucking called it.

God, do you know how long I’ve been waiting to get that off my chest? I’ve suffered through years of mediocre actioners being worshipped as the new best thing ever, watched as bottom-of-the-barrel crap like Tokyo Revengers and Fire Force tricked everyone into liking them, listened to a flighty, tasteless fandom turn their backs on one of the modern era’s greatest shonen because their lizard brains couldn’t concentrate without a thousand particle effects popping off every second. But no more. No more do I have to carry the torch solo as I have for far too long. Because at long last, after two subpar seasons that still blow most of its contemporaries out of the water, the second anime I ever watched has clawed its way back to the front of the pack and forced everyone to remember why My Hero Academia remains one of anime’s greatest modern standard bearers. The king is back on top, and I look forward to apologies from everyone who ever doubted it deserved the crown.

Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh. It’s not like My Hero Academia has ever been a perfect show, despite its self-evident excellence. Even in this fantastic return to form, plenty of its old issues still carry over. There’s the stupid unnecessary title cards all the characters get every episode, like the show thinks we’re so stupid we’ll forget everyone’s name in the week’s time between episodes. There’s the comedy that never quite clicks as well as it needs to, often disrupting otherwise fantastic scenes. The cast has grown overstuffed enough to officially qualify as a problem, with some characters frustratingly underutilized and some given way too much attention (seriously, who thought Best Jeanist was interesting enough to take over the tertiary protagonist role this season?). And it has a bad habit of stopping at huge moments and pausing the action for unnecessary flashbacks that we didn’t need to understand how the characters got where they were. If you’re the kind of shonen-head who just wants to turn your brain off and enjoy a bunch of flashy fights, it’s no wonder you’d be seduced by the sakuga-laden likes of Demon Slayer and JJK, despite their far more glaring issues in the story department.

But if you’re someone who actually appreciates a good story as a backbone to all those fisticuffs? Then you already know why MHA stands head and shoulders above its competition. And after five seasons watching this pressure cooker of a society boil hotter and hotter, it’s finally time for the lid to pop.

Season 6 is an explosion, plain and simple. It’s over a hundred episodes of peeling back the layers of hero society finally coming to a head and bringing the whole damn house of cards crashing down. The season’s first half is entirely taken up by a massive heroes vs villains war, a war in which everyone is pushed past their breaking point and forced to make climactic decisions about who they are and who they want to be. Characters die, self-actualize, rise to their ideas and shatter beneath them, on all sides of the conflict and sometimes all at the same time. If the All Might vs All For One battle back in season 3 was the end of My Hero Academia’s first act, then this barn-burner brawl is the climax to its second act. It’s the destruction of the status quo, an inflection point for all its characters, and as definitive a no-going-back mic drop as you can imagine. This is the end of the world as we know it, all the mistakes and hypocrisies of heroes past finally coming home to roost as Shigaraki puts his master plan into motion and the foundations of the earth itself tremble in response.

And once the rubble has finally settled, the season’s second half turns to tackle the aftermath. What happens when the world falls apart? What happens when everything people believed in turns out to be a lie? The heroes they put their trust in failed to protect them, and many revealed themselves to be little better than the villains they were supposed to be fighting. Fear and hatred compound, safety nets fails one after the other, and this society that once seemed so perfect reveals itself for the sham it always was. And Deku and his friends are caught right in the middle of the chaos, thrust far too soon into the role of the world’s hope for the future. They always wanted to be heroes: now, it’s time for them to come to terms with what that really means.

There’s a level of moral complexity to these developments that I don’t think any of us could have predicted. My Hero Academia started out as one of the most outwardly inspirational, optimistic stories on the market, but it’s proven itself more than capable of deconstructing its own premise. Heroism in MHA isn’t a static state of affairs; it’s a question that must be asked, re-asked, and asked again through the contradictions and imperfections of the real world. What does it mean to protect? To save? Where does the responsibility lie when we fall short? Is it ever too late to fix your mistakes and start over again? A lesser show might shy away from those questions, but MHA relishes in teasing out their intricacies. And it makes this season- especially the second half- some of the most captivating drama we’ve ever gotten from this genre. Watching the world come undone, and watching the heroes struggle to face the new task before them, results in not just some of MHA’s best moments, but some of the most hard-hitting resolutions in all of shonen history. The Deku/Shigaraki parallels! The return of You Say Run! Uraraka’s climactic speech re-cementing her as one of the all-time great shonen love interests! Payoff for not one, but two of the best goddamn redemption arcs this side of Zuko (and with Shigaraki, that number may climb to 3...)! Twice! Hawks! Lady Nagant! Season 6 is a portrait of a world falling apart, but it’s also a portrait of what rises from the ashes it left behind. As Deku himself says at one point, the world is far more complex than simple black and white, but that only makes it even more important to stand up for what really matters when the chips are down.

I’ve been watching My Hero Academia for a while. I started it back when there were just two seasons out and everyone was still riding high on the hype train. I’ve experienced its highs, its lows, its brilliance and its stupidity (Mineta has done nothing pervy this season and I am SO HAPPY YOU GUYS). I’ve been with this show for a long ass time. But no matter how its perception has shifted over the years, no matter how much anime I’ve consumed since then, I keep returning to the simple fact that MHA is really goddamn good. I don’t just like it because it was one of my firsts, or because of sunk cost fallacy, or anything like that; this genuinely is one of the smartest, richest, most emotionally resonant works of shonen storytelling to ever appear in Jump’s pages. And watching so many of its threads come to a head in season 6 has only confirmed that it’s going to stand the test of time. I can’t count how many episodes left me weepy, how often I was left astonished at the courage and intelligence of Horikoshi’s writing. This isn’t one of those stories that squanders its potential along the way and leaves you indifferent by the end: this is a story that’s going to fulfil every last promise it made, pay off every last idea it set up, and bring it all together in a complete package that makes the entire show better in hindsight.

Because even in its slowest moments, this show was so much more than a mindless punch-em-up. This is a story all about the nature of heroism itself, and what it truly means to be a hero in a seemingly perfect world that actually has more cracks in its foundation than a log cabin built atop the San Andreas fault. This is a story about what happens when golden ideals run up against reality, how good intentions go awry and send an entire society down a path to ruin. This is a story about what drives villains to be villains in the first place, and why they deserve our understanding even in spite of their crimes. And it’s a story about how to rediscover and reforge hope, learning all over again what it means to make the world a better place. Unlike so many of its contemporaries, My Hero Academia actually has things to say about our modern world, ideas it wants to convey that run deeper than “just believe in yourself!” Demon Slayer can lavish as many pretty lights and spinning cameras as it wants atop its cardboard world and stick figure characters, but that momentary flash is nothing compared to this slow-burning tale of what it takes to rediscover heroism in a world that’s forgotten its true form.

Season 6 of My Hero Academia is phenomenal. It’s a lightning-bolt payoff to a story years in the making, sending it hurtling into its final act in as staggeringly brilliant fashion as I ever could have dreamed. It’s not just a new high water mark for this show, finally surpassing the bar set by season 3; it’s cemented this show’s status as one of anime’s all-time classics. When we look back on this period, it won’t be the vapid flashiness of Demon Slayer or the agonizing stupidity of Tokyo Revengers that stand the test of time. It’ll be the story of how a crybaby with green hair became the greatest hero... and how the entire world became the greatest hero right alongside him. And for that, I’m more than happy to give it a score of:

9.5/10

We’re almost at the end now. Bring it home, Horikoshi. I believe in you.

[thelegendofjenna]

New Year's Eve with Darren Criss

Okay, so while it's decently fresh in my mind I'm just going to write down everything I remember from Darren's NYE show. This is very stream of consciousness, and all quotes are just paraphrased from my memory (I've already seen some videos floating around, but I don't know if there's any footage of him talking between songs). This is mostly for my own benefit, because I never want to forget this night.

He walked on stage wearing a silver suit with black boots. He started out with Happy Holidays/The Holiday Season, which fit so well with the full symphony accompanying, and the rest of the first half was all Christmas music from his album. Most of his talking in between was about the songs, and really similar to what he said at the Beacon Theater show or other press for the album. He also introduced the conductor, Bruce Kiesling, who was the music director for AVPS (along with like, tons of other impressive accomplishments). When he asked at the start how many people had been to a show of his before, there wasn't a huge response. My guess is that about half of the audience was familiar with him? At least a good chunk were just symphony-goers who were in for a surprise.

While he was talking after the first song he made the same joke about it turning into a stand-up routine, and just talked for a decent amount of time, at one point looking back at the musicians and joking "Bruce is like, 'damn it, we didn't rehearse with you talking so much between songs.'" He then emphasized that he was going to talk a lot "so you'll hopefully learn something new, and you won't notice if I mess up the singing. You'll think back and say 'the singing was...fine. But he was very charming.'" Before the next song, as the orchestra was starting to play but his cue hadn't come yet, he commented, "I can feel my voice going dry and I'm very nervous." He also later in the show said that "singing is the least interesting thing I do, I really like arranging music."

(his voice held up for the whole show though haha, I mean there were a couple iffy notes but nothing significant, and one song where he went an octave low on what's usually a high note, I can't remember which song.)

He did River, St Patrick's Day (before which he said something about how John Mayer is an incredible guitarist or something like that, some audience members laughed, and he said "no, I'm serious - okay, we don't have time, that's a whole other show."), Everybody's Waitin' For The Man With the Bag (as a solo), All Those Christmas Cliches (and explained that "east of Westerly" refers to Rhode Island, which I don't remember hearing before), The Christmas Song, and Christmas Dance (before that one he said "this is probably the last time I'll perform this one until next year...and then, God willing, every year for the rest of my life").

Then there was intermission. For the second half of the show, he walked out in a sparklier, striped suit and sparkly silver boots. He came out and immediately played Somewhere Only We Know, without any introduction, and I DIED. Then afterwards he commented on his wardrobe change ("I'm not a self-indulgent man, but tonight I'm a self-indulgent man.") and then talked about the song - how he sung it on Glee (some audience members cheered), but also his connection with the original Keane album it's from, how he strongly remembered blasting that album when he was driving around SF just after getting his license. "Speaking of Glee," he said, and transitioned into introducing The Luckiest. I think it was also during this break that he said a quote so good I actually wrote it down - he mentioned Glee, kind of paused, and after a moment there were some cheers. "Yeah, I was kind of waiting for that," he said, "for the woo-girl riot." Then he sort of backpedaled, like, 'I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I love it,' and then (this is what I wrote down) "That could be the name of a memoir. 'The Woo-Girl Riot,' by Darren Criss."

Anyway, he explained stuff about the Luckiest (it's the same kind of thing he said in the DEC AID stream about how he would have liked it to be Blaine's last song), mentioned how he had an original song in the Glee finale ("I always like to say that it's an Emmy-award losing song"), complimented Ben Folds' piano playing, and then added that it was also emblematic of how fortunate he feels, to be where he is in life and playing a show in his hometown, etc. He played it, it was gorgeous.

Next, he explained the premise of Royalties, and the basic set-up of the song from the first episode. He said that when he knew he was going to have an orchestra at his disposal, he wanted to play this song. He'd never done it live before and it was a very stupid song and he was excited. As he was getting ready he seemed a little nervous ("Okay, I have my lyrics here," he said, shuffling papers on the piano. "I can see people with their phones out so I don't wanna mess up, this is going to be the definitive version") They played Just That Good and it was indeed very stupid and very funny and very well-done. Afterwards he said "I can't believe I just did that. When the SF Symphony asked me to play a show I was like 'are you sure?'"

Then he did Welcome Home, which again he explained mostly as he did at the Beacon, but also emphasized how it was special to be playing it in his hometown, and in the city where he was in Fanny as a kid.

Then he picked up his guitar and explained how he wrote this song when he was fifteen, in response to a Stanislavski quote about the art and the self. He told the orchestra that the song was short, but they'd have a long enough break for "at least one sudoku." Then, just him and his guitar, he sang Human. I died again.

He returned to the piano and introed his next song - apparently while he was living in Italy he saw this upcoming singer on Italian TV that no one else knew about, and he wrote this song with her in mind. The up and coming singer was Adele, lmao. Then he talked about how the song was incorporated into a show he did with Starkid (cheers from the audience), but he wasn't going to try explaining Starkid because "that's a whole other show." And he explained that the song has kind of taken on a life of its own, beyond him ("I played this at the second inauguration of one President Barack Obama. That wasn't just me flexing, it's - sorry, I'm not trying to brag, I'm trying to explain how important this song is to me"), and how the comfort and emotion that so many other people have gotten from the song has made it all the more meaningful to him. And then he performed Not Alone, with a full orchestral backing.

And, you know. I died a third time.

The "final" song was For a Night Like This, which he gave the typical spiel for, but mentioned that it's usually a very pop-rock song, so adapting it to an acoustic orchestra was different. And yeah, it did sound different, but still very good. And yes he said "this one is dedicated to the dedicated" at the start.

So then he and Bruce bowed and waved and walked off stage. But the orchestra didn't leave stage, so we hung around for the encore. Also, he hadn't sung New Year yet, so I knew he wasn't done lol. Then he came back, and they did New Year, which was absolutely gorgeous and poignant as it always is. We all cheered and clapped and stood again. And then he exchanged a few off-mic words with Bruce and said "okay, we're gonna do one more. I'm being self-indulgent tonight."

He wanted to do the last song without his mic, just projecting his voice and taking advantage of the acoustics of the symphony hall, so he put his guitar on and stepped away from the mic and shouted to see if everyone could hear. Mostly we could (I was on the floor level and decently close, so I definitely could). He said, "sorry for those of you in the very back if you can't hear everything, but it'll be a vibe." He had a music stand with sheet music on it (or maybe handwritten notes lol, I don't know), and said that he'd only figured this out a few hours beforehand. So once again, it was just him and his guitar, this time with no artificial amplification. He sang San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair), which was obviously exciting in that "you're singing about the city that we're in and also it's your hometown so there are a lot of FEELINGS" way. Then, partway through the song, he transitioned into Auld Lang Syne, which. I literally got chills, I don't even know how to describe it, it was just a magical moment where you feel so connected with the person on stage and all the people in the audience and the fact that it's new years eve and you're all alive and experiencing this together.

So anyway, it was all fucking incredible and it was so him and it felt like such a special, unique show and I'm SO GLAD that I was able to go.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[trashforhockeyguys]

Don’t Hold Me -19- Carter Hart

A/N: as always, all previous parts are linked in my master list. Also, umm don’t hate me for what happens at the very end. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE  at the end as well, so if that could potently be triggering for you please be warned.

There was a moment, right when you first opened your eyes that you could’ve sworn you were a teenager again. You could hear Travis arguing with Ethan just feet from you, with the sound of someone playing NHL in the background. You felt so warm due to a blanket that someone had to have tossed over you at some point during the night. You wondered if you would see your house when you opened your eyes.

But there was an arm wrapped around you. So you couldn’t be at home. You were in Travis’s apartment. Ethan came in to help you and Kora move all of your things into a storage unit for the summer. He was going to stay for part of the playoffs. Carter was sleeping next to you. You’d both fallen asleep during a movie. 

You wiggled out from under Carter’s arm, following the sound of the voices to the kitchen. Kora, who still looked half asleep, was tucked under Ethan’s arm. Nolan was playing NHL in the living room, yelling at one of the other Flyers through a headset. In your gut, you knew this was what a normal morning with them. This is what life should be like. 

“Y/N! Tell him that he’s wrong!” Travis begged, pointing to Ethan. 

You shook your head, still too tired to even start to get into their mess, “Please tell me someone made coffee?”

Kora stepped away from E, “I’ll pour you a cup.”

“Carter still knocked out?” Ethan asked as you sat down on one of the bar stools. 

“Yeah, you two arguing woke me up,” You responded slowly, “What were you two arguing over anyway?”

“Don’t ask,” Kora handed you a cup of coffee, “They’re being guys.”

“They’re arguing over who had more points when they played together,” Nolan announced from the couch. 

“Oh, that’s easy, it was Ethan,” You shrugged, “Travis had the most penalty minutes.”

Kora had to hold back a laugh at the face that Travis made. Truth was, although Travis was an incredible player, even then, he was still very scrappy. He made a lot of bad plays and often let his head get the better of him. Ethan was always more level headed, and was responsible for more than his fair share of assists. But when the two of them were on the ice together, nothing was going to stop them. You missed watching them together like that. 

“Someone had to do all the dirty work,” Travis explained, “But I don’t get that many penalties now.”

Kora reached over and messed up his hair, “No, you behave now. Like a good little feisty Canadian.”

“Careful, he bites when provoked,” Carter joked, finally seeming to have woken up. 

“Better watch it, we have practice in a couple of hours, I won’t take it easy on you,” Travis warned. 

“Okay Teeks, sure,” Carter kissed the top of your head, “Morning babe.”

You felt your cheeks heat up a little as you tilted your head to look up at him. This was something you could really get used to, all of you being together like this. You and Kora had to move out of the dorm, since the year was finally over. So Travis was letting her and Ethan crash at his place, while you stayed with Carter. Although, last night all of you ended up over here to watch movies and eat pizza. Nolan casually reminded everyone that pizza was not a part of the approved playoff diet. 

“Sleep okay?” Carter asked you, taking a sip of your coffee. 

You nodded and leaned back into him, “Out like a light.”

Carter wrapped his arms around you, dropping his head so his chin rested on your shoulder. His hair tickled your cheek, causing you to smile. Across from you, both Ethan and Travis were watching you with the same sort of fond smile. 

Kora looked between the two other men, “Just say it, they’re cute,” She huffed, “Nolan, you wanna play me?”

“I’d like to see what you’re made of,” Nolan replied, holding up an extra controller. 

The following night, you, Kora, and Ethan file into the arena, ready for the next game in the series. Carter was starting in net tonight, and Travis literally wouldn’t stop bouncing all day long. You made a joke that someone needed to take out his batteries. Kora held onto Ethan, smiling as random Flyers fans high fived each other for wearing jerseys. 

“Now this is a good way to celebrate another year of hell being over,” Kora joked, “We’re all drinking tonight, right?”

“You two can have all you’d like,” E told us, “I’ll be semi sober so I can take care of both of you.”

Kora looked up at him in a way that you could only describe as love. It was weird, seeing your best friend and your brother like that. Yet, it made you happy at the same time. You liked the idea of them being happy together, come what may.

“We should get to our seats,” You told them, “Drinks later.”

“I’m going to be the only one getting drunk tonight, aren’t I?” Kora questioned. 

Both you and Ethan laughed, knowing you weren’t going to have more than a drink, maybe two. The only time you ever really got drunk was with Kora, but you wanted to be sober for this. You wanted to watch every second as the game unfolded. You wanted to be able to run to Carter and hold him after the game was over, because who knew how many more times you could do that.

Kora leaned over to you once you were all in your seats, “You have that look again, are you okay?”

You forced a smile and tried to push away the sudden sickening feeling you had in your stomach, “yeah, I’m fine.”

But you couldn’t shake the sudden feeling that you shouldn’t have come tonight. That you should’ve watched from Carter’s apartment. But you hadn’t missed a home game almost all season, and you certainly weren’t going to miss a playoff game. 

Yet, every ounce of you was screaming to run, to get away while you still could. But you knew you were safe, Zachary wouldn’t dare come near you while Ethan was here. He wouldn’t really do anything in the arena, where all of the security knew you by now. You were safe here. 

You tugged on the sleeves of your jersey, pulling them down so they covered your hands. You couldn’t help the little shiver that went through you. So instead, you pulled out your phone and looked at the last text Carter sent you, vowing to win since everyone was here. Your eyes seemed to stay glued to the part where he said he loved you and he loved knowing that you were wearing his jersey. 

Although he laughed about it at first, somehow knowing that the jersey on your back was actually his old one, and not just one you got from the team store, made him feel different. Like you were really shouting to everyone that you were his, and he was yours. He often chirped some of the other guys about their relationships, but that all stopped when he realized how much he loved you. 

Because the truth of it was, Carter could see a whole life with you. An entire future that was so bright and full of love and happiness. He hadn’t told you that yet, mainly because he didn’t want to scare you. But he wanted everything with you. He wanted a ring on your finger, you walking down an aisle all in white, maybe a couple of kids in a house outside the city one day. But for now...for now he was just happy knowing you had on his jersey while you watched him play.

You hold tightly onto Kora’s hand as the clock ticks down. Carter was so close to a shutout. How often could you say that your boyfriend got a shutout during the Stanley Cup playoffs? You were so sure that your heart would beat right out of your chest. Even E seemed to literally be on the edge of his seat. 

Sure they were still a few games off from winning the series, but this would really tip the scales in their favor. For the first time you actually let yourself think about it. About what it would mean for Travis, Nolan, and for Carter. You could almost picture them hoisting the cup. Could almost see yourself on the ice with everyone, laughing as Travis attacked you. You could almost see all of it. You could almost see all of the things you hadn’t allowed yourself to want. 

The arena erupted, fans were yelling so loudly you swore your ears were going to be rining for days. You’d even lost your own voice sometime during the second period. You spent the whole game engaging with everyone in the arena. You hadn’t experienced energy like that in years. You were almost willing to bet that you felt the same level of adrenaline as the team did. Honestly, you’d probably be just as amped up as Carter when you got home. 

“He did it,” Ethan marveled over the roar of the arena, “He fucking did it.”

Kora nearly jumped on your shoulders, “My best friend is dating a goal god!”

You were in a state of shock right up until the time you saw Carter after the game. Then it was like everything kicked into high gear and you ran to him, you even jumped so he had to catch you. A couple other members of the team whistled jokingly as you kissed him. 

“You did so good.” 

Maybe it was the bit of alcohol in your system, or the adrenaline from the game. But you seemed to forget every little problem you had. You forgot about Zachary, and the impossible decision that lurked there. Or the fact that you still had to pick who you were going to spend the summer with, if anyone. You forgot about all of it. All you wanted to do was be with all of them.

“Damn you look good tonight,” Carter joked, tugging on his jersey. 

“We should go out. All of us,” You told Carter excitedly, “Like go get drinks or something.”

“You want to go out?” Carter asked, surprised that you were the one to even bring it up. 

“I feel like dancing and having fun. Finals are over, you just fucking owned the net. C’mon, please?”

“Hartsy take the girl out,” Kevin Hayes chirped.

Carter smiled and kissed you again, “Well, let’s go out then.”

So that's what you did. All of you filed into some club that Travis knew about. You weren’t really dressed for it, although you did have a nice top on under the jersey, but you didn’t care. Not as the music seemed to fill your soul as you held onto Carter. He laughed and danced with you, both of you seeming to forget everything.

Ethan watched as you let go. He and Travis just looked at each other and smiled. Neither of them had seen this side of you since you were in high school, before Zachary broke so much of you. Ethan felt himself relax the more you seemed to smile and come alive. Kora soon pulled Ethan and Travis both onto the dance floor, insisting that all of you be together. 

Hours later, so late in fact that you were pretty sure it was morning, you and Carter were slowly making your way towards his building. Ethan, Kora, and Travis all split off a while ago so they could go back to Travis’ place. You were still so giddy, happily talking off Carter’s ear. 

He felt a sort of warmth in his chest. This was the person Trvais and Nolan talked about. He was finally able to see the you that Travis told him about for years, the you that was free. He wished he could’ve met her sooner. 

“I want to go back with you,” You told him suddenly. 

“Huh?” he wasn’t entirely sure how you’d gone from talking about wanting a breakfast beagle from the diner off campus, that certainly wasn’t open this time of the morning, to wanting to go somewhere else with him. His brain was hazy, both from the alcohol and everything else that happened. 

“To Canada, if the offer still stands?” 

You stopped walking and turned to face him. When you really stopped to think about it earlier in the night you realized that there wasn’t any other place you wanted to be. You’d be safe with him in Canada, you would finally be able to fully love him there. Nothing would stand in your way. It would just be you and Carter. Everything would be okay. 

“God I love you,” He whispered before leaning down to kiss you, “Of course the offer still stands.”

“Good,” You pulled at his neck so he would kiss you again. 

You really didn’t care that you were in the middle of a dark sidewalk in the middle of the night. You couldn’t even pay attention to the cold that was slowly working its way into your bones. Because all you could think about was his lips on yours, and the summer that now awaited you. All you wanted was that. You just wanted him. 

“Now Doll, this isn’t part of the game,” You couldn’t pull away from Carter fast enough to find the source of the voice. But you already knew. You wanted to warn Carter to run, to get away. But there was a loud sound that made your ears ring again, but in a different way from the arena. And then...there was just nothing.

[harpyjoy]

"I can't believe I didn't think of shipping these two before"

After thinking about it for a while I decided that it is better to tell it by a separate publication because it was seriously something too long xD

@rayshippouuchiha here are my delusions while I had a fever from the side effect of the vaccine...

It all started with the scene where Zero absorbs Ichiru towards the end of the second season, well in a way I think this part was a bit influenced by watching Hellsing, because at that point everything was combined with Zero, the fact that for having a life in which everything seems to go wrong (his family was murdered, he was turned into a vampire, he is about to go wild, the girl he loved turned out to be a vampire, he has been used as a pawn by another vampire and has to his brother dying in his arms) feels abandoned by god, so he abandons him in turn and Ichiru's blood flows to him...

(This is where I later realized that it might as well be a nice divergence for another even crazier ship like Alucard x Zero idk, but that's a can of worms I'm not willing to open right now)

...and a voice whispers an offer to him (because there always has to be a mystical and mysterious voice) that if he wants Ichiru to live. Now, I don't remember very well how the deal is going because after all it was a dream in the middle of a fever of like 39ºC but it would be something more or less like the two being born again as twin brothers, but this time there is no hunter's curse, Zero remembering all his past life but Ichiru won't remember anything.

The voice tells him that since it is an exchange of lives, he has to learn to live that new life and pay the price, whatever, between leaving that cell to continue doing what others want and deciding to take the reins for once in his life . Well, it's not difficult to choose, right? Zero chooses and reincarnates in the past as a pureblood baby vampire...

(and then he realized it was a damn cheating offer!)

In the arms of Shizuka Hio smile happily...

(what the hell is my life now?!)

...so apparently the price is to have this bloodsucking woman as his mother and to be a bloodsucker himself too, again ... but come on! at least now he's not going to fall to level E; so even though he's looking at Shizuka Hio's face in front of him now (what the heck? now that he notices it...is it normal for a hunter family to look so much like a pureblood family?) that it seems like now it's his mother, also, if that voice was telling the truth (which is very likely, since not all supernatural entities in the universe have the power to make you a reincarnation / time-dimension travel combo) Ichiru will be able to live a full life...

...and seeing a cute baby Ichiru in the arms of what seems to be his father in this life (that as my brain did not give for more, let's think that Shizuka's lover who was killed in the canon in this alternate universe was also a pureblood Hio cousin or something of her! more than anything because I don't want to think of another last name, and basically because I want her to be happy too) he has high hopes that it's true!

Anyway, the years pass and Zero learns that being a pureblood vampire is not so bad and since in this life Ichiru cuts his hair, Zero is the one who lets it grow (in honor of the Ichiru of his past life) although he still knows pierces because... why not?

Yes, the Council of Elders sucks, he had to live the early years of his second childhood in places without windows and the eyes of some noble vampires when they look at him are somewhat disturbing, but he has his brother safe and sound, and Shizuka...

(when she's not a bloodthirsty bitch fed for revenge)

...is actually a good mother, plus she has more strength in one hand than I could imagine and it feels pretty good to say "to hell with the Kurans", then the war between vampires and hunters breaks out and there are more pureblood gatherings than ever...

(and oh no, the damn Kuran! wait, since when are they three?)

...then, in one of those meetings Zero says "fuck it", because there is a guy who looks like the damn Kaname and a woman who is just like Yuuki ... and these old men from the Council do not shut up! so he escapes to breathe for a few moments and then he meets Rido Kuran and he honestly does not know what to think, he wants to hate him, but so many years have passed, he has Ichiru with him, he hardly remembers his human parents and he has enough with the discomfort he feels seeing Haruka and Juuri Kuran...

...and Rido looks so lonely that Zero almost sees himself in him when he was in his darkest moments in his old life and since Zero is not a heartless bastard he decides to talk to him about something random, and then the guy doesn't stop appearing everywhere!! and he first teases and laughs at Zero and then it seems that he can't understand what personal space is because he doesn't stop touching his hair and playing with the bell braided in his locks that Ichiru gave him and...

then he looks at him like he's...everything.

AND AT THIS POINT!! honestly with everything and my omniscient point of view even I was embarrassed to look at them because I felt like I was breaking into an intimate moment no matter they were just looking at each other because Rido looked so…thirsty.

He's basically a big cat and I think all the love, obsession and longing he felt for Juuri in the canon in this universe is focused on Zero, and the guy is The Yandere…Ichiru isn't impressed, but Zero seems to like him so meh.

And then it seems that pureblood vampires can have babies!! Because...who cares?

(Sincerely Zero no longer believes that something is going to surprise him)

They are not human, they are basically millennial immortal beings, one or two incredible things do not hurt and then the council of elders decides that they want to engage Rido with Ichiru (because he is the youngest), Zero has not even come out of shock when the two involved are already protesting very vocally and aggressively because who the hell came up with such a horrible idea?!, half the world and their mothers know that Rido and Zero are close! and Ichiru and Rido only interact when absolutely necessary (mostly because of Zero), fortunately the Council stops the proposal suddenly before it becomes more than a simple suggestion and...

then...I don't remember if when Rido and Zero get married they are Kuran or Hio?...

BUT, I remember that when you see them together they look like rock stars and they are the most atypical purebloods in history, where the other others look ethereal and fragile, they look dangerous and intimidating but equally or more attractive, like a seductive trap mortal.

They drive the Council absolutely crazy but they don’t care about them and they are a couple of cheeky, like very cheeky, I'm talking about public displays of affection and closeness that has more than one vampire looking away.

And so Zero is Senri's mother? (What the hell?!) Because let's remember that in the canon he is Rido's son with a noble and technically Yuuki and Kaname's cousin (?).... BUT! here his mom is Zero, because when Zero holds his baby for the first time and he is biting his finger to feed him with blood, the little one opens his eyes and Zero knows that look, he recognizes that light blue in apathetic eyes in the past and although now his hair may be more silver than dark he knows who he is, or rather who could have been (and damn he carried it in his womb for who knows how many months, it is his baby of course he keeps it)

THEN I WOKE UP!!  (」° ロ °)」

and I was left with a dazed and feverish haze sitting on the edge of my bed staring at a shoe for like 10 minutes desperately thinking what else I could remember about the crazy cool dream I just had so I could take notes on everything, because that was a damn REVELATION!!, and then do something, anything, just something because it was too good to be true and when I looked for Rido x Zero fics on the internet they were all dark and distressing and unfinished fics and that was a big NO! And guess who's scribbling half-formed sketches and ideas with the happiness of a kindergartener right now? I don't know if this is going to end in a fic or a fanart or a comic or what the hell, but now it's my baby.

[bumblebear30]

The heights you take me to.

Rita Calhoun x Casey Novak

Established Calvak

Warnings: Discussion of fears around heights, No smut but allusions to. Language. Casey Novak being so fucking adorable she’ll steal your girl and you’d still thank her.

The heights you take me to.

Not that anyone ever did ask, but if anyone had ever been brazen enough to raise the issue, Rita would categorically deny that she was scared of heights.

And she would win that argument. Even a polygraph test on the subject would be passed with flying colours. She was entirely content on those shallow balconies at the opera, mezzanine floors in apartments in Paris posed no hindrance and, thankfully, even the thought of flying in planes didn’t bother her. So truly heights weren’t the issue.

If you were going to get technical about it, maybe, possibly, perhaps, she had a mild concern – an often valid mild-concern – about falling from unstable platforms. Honestly it just seemed common sense to avoid such scenarios. An intrinsic urge of self-protection that had served her well through life so far. So much so, the issue very rarely came up at all.

And yet, somehow Casey, so typically enthusiastic, utterly wonderfully childlike in her glee and adoration of things somehow put Rita in a situation where she had to confront that maybe she should have voiced her concerns much earlier in their relationship.

It had all come about because Casey had won their most recent head-to-head case and they'd long since set up and agreement that after a case where they been up against each other whoever won got to choose whatever date it was that they went on as soon as they could.

Sometimes it was as mundane as choosing which wine and takeaway combo would go with whatever mindless TV or comfort film they'd watch as they settled back into their domestic selves, or something like Casey making Rita join her on a walk around the park when the seasons were changing so she could point out the beauty of the leaves changing colour or the blossom scattering the footpath. She was always such a romantic; as much in love with the natural world around her as with the woman stood next to her holding her hand. Despite her apparent grumbling Rita actually loved those walks, just getting to have a glimpse of how Casey saw things always made her fall for the redhead even more.

Other times, if she'd won, Rita would go all out spoiling Casey with a quick weekend away, or lavish meal out – not to gloat, never to gloat - but to simply spoil her girl as she deserved to be spoilt.

One time Casey had made Rita go camping... Despite the defence attorney trying her best to cope with it all after several tantrums Casey learnt quickly that camp life did not hold the same joyful relaxation for the brunette as she’d hoped, and had hastily found them a glamping resort nearby to save the long weekend.

But, given the nature of some of the cases, and just how passionately Rita would defend her client and Casey would fight for justice for the victim, sometimes there simply had to be a cooling off phase of a couple of days before either one was quite ready to think about indulging the whims of the winning party.

The longest they'd gone through such a détente had been ten days. It had just clocked over to the eleventh when Rita had woken to the sounds of Casey sniffling, trying to muffle her tears on the couch where she'd been sleeping, self-imposed it had to be said. Wordlessly Rita had left the warmth of their bed and padded across the apartment simply to cuddle up with the redhead: wrapping her arms around her and cradling her head into the crook of her neck. The unspoken love and comfort in the gentle touches, the light peppering of kisses against her hair, had initially just made Casey sob even harder. It was exactly what she'd needed ten days ago but her own smarting pride and anger at the world's injustices had meant she denied herself from seeking out from the one person who could truly console her. Rita had continued to just hold her though and rub her back, letting Casey get it all out without judgement.

Exhausted Casey had eventually fallen asleep, utterly spent after finally letting the emotional dam burst. With great care Rita had slowly manoeuvred them (an impressive feat she was quite proud of really) so that she could lie down on the couch properly with Casey draped comatose over her hip, her face pillowed on Rita's chest. She knew she'd inevitably end up with a drool mark on her satin sleep shirt but making sure Casey was comfortable was far more important - and for the first time in weeks, fell asleep holding her love.

Waking up being held so tenderly by Rita, who had spent the night on the couch with her simply because Casey had needed her, almost made Casey cry again. Although this time because her heart was so full. She'd laid there for a little while completely content to just listen to Rita's soft snores (she only ever did when she slept on her back, Casey always thought they were adorable), until she could resist no longer and started to trail her hand across the top of Rita's shoulder and down her arm a little.

So absorbed in the sensation of the satin under her fingertips, and the incomparable softness of Rita's skin where it had slipped more open on her chest, Casey hadn't realised the gentle snores had stopped till she felt an answering hand come up to run across the back of her head gently. Looking up she had been greeted with such a soft sleepy smile from her girlfriend that Casey just wanted to remember it forever.

The woman was just so perfect for her. Rita would of course argue with a smirk across her face that she was perfect, full stop, but Casey always simply pointed out that she loved Rita’s imperfections just as much anyway. It usually earned her a sweet kiss, or three. But that morning it was Casey who poured as much love and gratefulness into the kisses she pressed to Rita’s cheek before offering to cook one of Rita’s beloved egg-white omelettes.

At this precise moment in time though Rita wished with every fibre of her being that she was back in their apartment, safely sat on the couch which was so securely resting on the ground.

Casey had won their most recent professional battle – Rita was secretly relieved, the guy creeped her out too – and the redhead had promptly declared that she wanted to go to Coney Island. Initially Rita thought she was joking, and had laughed in her face. She thought it went without saying that fair ground rides, fried foods and screaming children were not her idea of a fun evening with her girlfriend. But upon seeing the puppy dog worthy pout that was now gracing said girlfriend’s face she had immediately relented, although only once securing a promise that she could wear Casey’s clothes. She’d be damned if her designer wardrobe was going to be sacrificed along with her professional court win-rate. Chanel and cotton candy did not mix.

So, a few days later she’d subsequently found herself dressed in Casey’s jeans and old softball team hoody. When she’d left the bedroom and when Casey had caught sight of how her ass filled out the jeans let alone seeing Rita with ‘NOVAK’ emblazoned across her shoulders? She was reduced to an absolute puddle of adoration and affection.

Rita had recognised the gleam in her redhead’s eyes and it had buoyed her confidence, loving to have the chance to flirt and spoil Casey to her heart’s content. Although really with the small fortune she’d spent on letting Casey try to win at the coconut shy she would’ve expected a higher quality prize than the little plush tiger the redhead eventually chose. But when Casey had then only slightly bashfully presented it to her, saying that it reminded her of her courtroom persona Rita surprised herself with how much she immediately treasured it, able to picture where it would rest 'on-guard' on top of her jewellery box on the dressing table.

She’d tried to counter how the moment got to her by quipping that she’d need to work harder if Casey saw her as soft and cuddly in court, but Casey had simply rolled her eyes and laughed, quickly tugging Rita towards her to press a quick kiss to the side of her head before leading her further down the boardwalk and onto the next distraction.

Rita had been all too happy to follow. With the quite fierce and regal looking little tiger securely tucked under one arm, and her free hand safely and lovingly entangled with Casey’s whenever possible – only releasing her when Casey wanted to play a stall, or to tsk as she had to untangle Casey’s hair as it got caught on whatever food stuff the redhead kept on encouraging her to indulge in, Rita actually found herself not just tolerating the date, but actively enjoying it.

Cotton candy tasted sweeter when stolen off of her girlfriend’s stick of it. The gleam of Casey’s eyes in all the bright lights made the neon flashing bearable. The screams of hyperactive and wayward children were relegated to the background as Casey laughed and joked with her, muttering sweet nothings into her ear as they watched the sunset, and decidedly naughtier comments when they indulged in ice creams and hotdogs. It had all been going just swimmingly. But then Casey had legitimately squealed and bounced like an excitable golden retriever as she bounded towards the one thing Rita had been determinedly ignoring:

That fucking Ferris wheel.

As she covered her unease – all those different treats suddenly bubbling inside her stomach suddenly felt like such a bad idea – with an attempt at an indulgent smile and joined Casey in the queue, Rita couldn’t help but consider how they’d managed to get so far into their relationship without the discussion about Rita’s concerns – definitely not fear, Rita Calhoun was not scared of anything or anyone thank you very much – but unease, about being up on something so rickety and unstable that just went unnecessarily high and when was it last inspected and god did the damn seats have to sway so and oh shit was it just a bar across their laps that was meant to protect them? She was Rita fucking Calhoun, surely there was something more robust and reliable than a single metal 2x4 to stop her from plunging to her imminent dea-

Oh.

Rita glanced down at where Casey had taken her white knuckled grip from the metal safety bar and now held her hand in both of her own in the warmth of her lap,

“Babe, you should’ve just said if you didn’t want to go on the ride.”

Rita was glad that Casey was so close and so beautiful, it meant she could safely focus on her rather than how the ground, nice safe terra firma, was getting smaller and smaller the higher up they went. She made herself focus on the brightness of her eyes – how they seemed to radiate such love and warmth at her, to take in how there were a few more smile lines at the corner of those eyes than there were when she’d first found herself getting lost in them.

She dropped her gaze (oh god, wrong choice of word she chided herself), to the top of Casey’s cupid bow lip, able to instantly conjure the countless memories of how that lip felt pressed against her own, tracing down her throat and across her body drawing out and bringing her such pleasure. Right now though, the corner of those lips were curling up in one of those soft, ever so slightly teasing smiles that still made Rita’s heart beat faster despite how long they’d been together– although she was glad to notice that actually this time it actually slowed her racing pulse, letting her breathe deeply once more,

“I’m not scared,” she finally huffed out, even though she tried to shuffle closer to Casey in the same moment and instantly froze wide-eyed as the seat seemed to swing at her movement. With a roll of her eyes Casey lifted her arm to come round the back of Rita’s shoulders, encouraging the brunette to cuddle into her side,

“Of course not darling. I never said you were.”

Rita’s sigh this time was in apparent exasperation but truly, she felt inexplicably safer with Casey’s arm wrapped comfortingly around her. She finally felt brave enough to look past Casey’s face, being pressed so closely against the crook of her shoulder she could smell the distinctive scent of Casey’s perfume from where she’d applied it to her pulse point. It made her smile. She’d bought the redhead the bespoke scent for their second Christmas together, and it had been her go-to ever since. With the familiar hints of bergamot, blood orange and nutmeg swirling through her senses and Casey’s low voice pointing out the different sights that surrounded them Rita actually felt herself relax and begin to enjoy the experience.

Until the blasted wheel groaned and ground to a stop just as they came round to the top once again,

“Fuck! What’s happening? Is it breaking? Casey!”

With a gentle chuckle Casey ran her thumb over Rita’s knuckles and the back of her hand to calm her,

“Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t know you were going to be not scared so I slipped the operator an extra $10 so we could stop at the top for a bit.”

Rita turned to face her aghast,

“And why would you do such a thing!?!”

“Maybe because I wanted to look at all the different sights with my girlfriend,” she reached out to tuck some of the fly-aways of Rita’s classic half-up do back behind her ear, “Or maybe I wanted to make out with the love of my life on the Ferris wheel like a horny teenager…”

The wickedly teasing smile and gleam to her eyes elicited the exact knowing and playful laugh from Rita that Casey knew it would,

“Well, when you put it like that darling,” Casey loved how Rita’s usual confidence seemed to exude from her once the redhead had focussed her attention, already leaning forward as Rita beckoned her with her fingers curling under her chin, “C’mere you.”

So maybe Ferris wheels weren’t so bad after all.

In fact, sharing such sweet kisses that tasted like candy as the fair lights flashed, oblivious in their own world as children screamed and parents yelled all around them, meant Rita thought she could just about say she was a fan of the mechanical monstrosity.

Just.

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[joyfulhopelox]

Right now i don’t know if i want to kiss you or shove you off this building

Part 1 | Part 2(end)

A/N: I have no words really, just i needed to get this off my chest and i wrote it so quickly that part 2 is probably going to be out by the end of the week.

genre: fluff (x100), University! au/ College!au

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox do NOT repost or reblog

Stealing is a crime please do not steal, i do not cross post anywhere else only Tumblr

Pairing: J-Hope x reader (College!AU/ University!AU)

Word count: 4,000 words

Warnings: i'm still bad at writing fluff but here we go (i cried a lot inside whilst writing it)

There are few times in someone’s life when they would have to rush out of the house in the middle of the night. Most times, it involved an emergency of some sorts.The usual A&E rush, the cravings rush and most important of them all, the all nighter in the library rush.

You have been debating for over an hour now if you should make a dash to the library. Your exhausted body screaming at you to just curl up into a ball and sleep- or cry, whichever came first. However your consciousness, and the fact that your anxiety was at an all time high, was telling you to just suck it up and go get your books from the library. That coupled with your approaching deadline. And to be honest you knew exactly what you would end up doing. After all, your grades could not afford to take a fall. Not worse than what they’ve dropped to now. Anymore and you would flunk the year completely.

But do you really need that book? Your brain tried it’s last card on you. You could technically just stay in, bury yourself in your blankets like the Michelin man, and write your essay that way. Sighing, you rubbed your tired eyes and got up grabbing your prized pen, the one that got you through your first and second year of exams, a couple of pieces of paper just in case, and your laptop. A trek to the library it is.

The spring air was doing a good job of waking you up. The light breeze, warm enough to not make you die of cold, but cold enough to cool down your tired flushed face. The 10 minutes it took to walk from your accommodation to the library was enough for you to steel yourself against an all nighter of studying.

What you had expected when you went in was anything but a packed library with students quietly studying. The noises of scratching pens and the rhythmic click-clacking of keyboards creating a mellow background noise. Some were dozing off, and you could not blame them, but holy hell could they not have done that at home? Okay, maybe you were judging, but could anyone blame you? You were desperate for a space and by the looks of the rows of heads between the shelves, there was a slim chance you would actually get a seat somewhere. If needed, you knew you could just crouch in between the shelves near the section that housed the maps, but you did not feel like inhaling dust and sporting a cramped leg for the rest of the night.

“Oh come on! This is a big library, there must be a seat somewhere” you whispered to yourself quietly, your eyes scanning the 3rd floor of the library. Aha! There. By the will of the gods, there was a seat, a lone corner at a table that was packed to the brim. You hastily made your way before anyone could spring out of nowhere and claim it, and slammed your butt down on the seat sighing in satisfaction. You’d made it. The first task done. Proud of yourself, you opened up your laptop and pulled the document you had been writing on. The bold letters at the top stating you NEEDED to get that specific book. A harsh reminder that the second task now would be even more difficult. Hunting for a book in this mammoth of a place. But what if you lost your spot? You needed your laptop to search for the book and to be honest you did not trust your laptop to not be stolen. You groaned to yourself, once again debating whether or not you needed the book

You finally decided that the book was non-negotiable and so you quickly grabbed your pen, with the promise to yourself that you would not get lost in the maze of shelves and interesting literature. Hastily writing a ‘will be back’ note, you slammed the pen down on top of the paper and rushed out of your seat.

The library atmosphere was quiet, despite the space being full of poor students who were rushing to meet a deadline or had exams coming up soon. Perusing the shelves, taking note of names that may interest you further on in your degree or even just as personal pleasure, you basked in the quietness and the dimness of the space. You loved the library at night, sure, but not when you were in a rush to finish a paper and not when exam and deadlines season pushed everyone and their mother to cram themselves in the space like sardines. Overall though, the space was dark and quiet just as you liked it.

Finally arriving at the area that was of interest to you, you stood in front of the row of shelves, a slow grin forming on your face. It was perfect, 4 rows of untouched literature. And you had all the time in the world.

Except...you didn’t. “Fuck” you cursed to yourself. You knew you did not have the time and you promised yourself you would not do this. Looking down at your watch, you let out another curse. “Fuck”. It had taken you half an hour to get here, the digital face of your watch showing 12.30am. “Oh man, I did it again” muttering to yourself, you turned your back towards the interesting titles that were calling your name and focused on the one book you actually needed.

Only to not find it on the shelf. Just your luck. “What am i supposed to do now?” dejectedly sighing you slowly made your way back to your seat. All you could think about was the missing book on the shelf.

How were you supposed to be finishing your paper now? Suddenly the quiet and calm atmosphere became gloomy and dark, this was not going very well for you. So lost in your thought you almost walked by your spot. Stopping right on time you looked to the side only to do a double take. It was not your spot anymore, the leather jacket as well as the mop of dark hair that could be seen occupying the seat was definitely not you. You double checked the area making sure you did not stray away again and somehow landed in the wrong spot but no. That was definitely the desk you had placed your note on.

It was just missing the note and seating another person now. Today was definitely not your day. The last thing you wanted to do at this time of the night, especially when you were in a hurry to finish and hand in your paper, was to be civil. But that was your seat. You refused to slouch in between the shelves and cram a seven thousand word paper tonight. You’ve done it enough times in the past for your bum and back to already be screaming at you in protest. Taking a deep breath in, you steeled yourself and approached the seat stealer.

The closer you got, the better the view of the seat stealer. Goddamn they were handsome. At least the side profile was something to enjoy looking at, but that did not change the fact that they had stolen your seat and were comfortably spread out onto the desk casually typing away at their laptop.

To top it all off, as if the scene was not enough to taunt your nerves, they were humming quietly to the beat that you could faintly hear coming from their headphones. And if you were to admit it to yourself, which you would not, they were very good at said humming.

“Uhm...excuse me” your voice cracked, having not been used for a couple of hours. You could not afford to seem meek in front of them, cute as hell and a great hummer be damned, they would not get the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. Truth be told, you hated confrontation. It was the last thing you resorted to under normal circumstances, let alone now when you were tired and stressed. Standing up straighter you tried again, “Excuse me!”

They made no move to acknowledge you or your shadow that cast now over the desk, as if you were both one and the same. Frustrated, you let out a huff and reached out to tap their shoulder. However, as if the fates had it out for you today, the humming seat stealer also came to life, moving his head towards your outstretched hand as they went to grab for their notebook and pen. That motion combined with yours caused a painful collision for the both of you. As it had not gotten a chance to change trajectory towards their shoulder, your unprepared hand bent awkwardly as it made contact with the side of the person’s head. A loud “oh fuck” chorused from the both of you, as both parties retracted as if burnt. Had you mentioned it was not your day?

“Is there a reason why I’m being assaulted at...1am on a Tuesday in the library?”. the seat stealer asked as he turned around to face you completely. He finally had a voice as well, and it was just as nice as the humming. Scrunching your nose in annoyance, you took a deep breath in prepared to tell him off. Not only was HE the one assaulting your hand but also your well deserved seat. Only to do the stereotypical double take. The mop of hair hid a very handsome face. High cheekbones and a pointed nose, your eyes trailed further down to his long neck and toned body. “Uh…” the stranger, seat stealer muttered, his hand going to scratch awkwardly at his long neck. Your brain agreed, “Uh…” you smartly copied snapping your eyes back at the face. You had clearly been caught staring judging by the smug smirk the person had on their face. Not only that but you had managed in a few minutes to smack a total stranger and display copious amounts of intelligence whilst trying your hand at a smart rebuttal to their question.

“So, now that I have your attention. Care to tell me why you are assaulting me at 1am on a Tuesday?” The tone of voice was less alarmed, more amused now. As if he clearly found your embarrassment entertaining.

“Assault? I have not assaulted you….you seat stealer!” You furiously exclaimed only to be interrupted by an equally stressed out fellow student“, Keep it down”. Only then did you become aware of the situation you are in. Three other rows of desks near the one you were currently at, and each of them seated a student who, like you, probably either had exams or deadlines. They were sleep deprived, hungry, and probably had too much caffeine running through their blood for their own good. And they were all focused on your form. To embarrass you further, the seat stealer even had the audacity to smugly smile and whisper “yeah, shhhhh.”

Getting redder by the minute, whether in mortification at being told off by the student a few rows away from you or from increasing anger at the seat stealer, you bent down, eyes narrowed “you….you...shush, and whilst you are at it, get out of my seat, you seat stealer”. You were unsure whether your shouted whisper would sound menacing enough to convey the mixture of emotions running through your veins at the moment. The stranger’s smug smile dropped instantly, a look of confusion replacing it, “seat stealer? What is that about?”

“You stole my seat!”

“I did not. The seat was free. If you passed by it, it was free and you didn’t sit down or leave your stuff on the chair; it doesn't automatically make it yours.” The stranger shrugged carefully, studying your expressions. What he saw must have really amused him because he started snickering to himself. Getting redder by the minute your rebuttal was weak, if only you’d have thought about it beforehand.

“I only have my laptop on me! And I left a note and my precious pen on the desk! A note which you have thrown out to steal my seat.” That is when it all went downhill. “you ‘strange seat stealer’!” the snickers coming from the handsome man got even more violent, to the point of you worrying about him choking- had you not been angry at him you would have asked if he was ok. Unfortunately, you were angry and nothing he did could have solved that.

The stranger abruptly stood up, so close to your face that you could see the numerous lashes that shadowed his dark eyes, amusement still plastered onto his face. He grabbed your elbow lightly, giving you a chance to break free if needed, but you were so stunned by his actions that all you could do was question how handsome his angular face was. “You’re cute, and that was a smart, if odd, alliteration you made there” He breathed, the action making a stray strand of hair blow away from your face, “but we’re making a scene”.

“Wh-” before you could process what he’d said, he trailed his hand from your elbow to your own hand and lightly gripped it with the intention of moving you away. The sudden jolt sprung your brain back to life and you tried fruitlessly to pull your hand away from his grip. Unfortunately, your brain decided to work a bit too late, as you were already past the rows of desks and shelves of books, closer to the lift lobby on that floor. “I am not making a scene, you are making a scene. Who are you to get me away from my seat not only once, but twice?!” Your feet firmly planted on the ground and finally got the stranger to stop. “I don’t know who you are” as he made a move to talk, you interrupted “and I don’t care, I saw that seat first, left a note on it to say I was going to be back and you stole it! I need the space!”

“Why?” The stranger calmly asked. His face showed no signs of anger or frustration, and it seemed like it belonged like that, serene and peaceful. And it made you wonder if anything could ever anger this man. Sure, you did not know him but you had been yelling in his face for the past minute. His demeanour and question threw you off so much so that your brain once again hiccuped.

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean why do you NEED the space, it’s clear that you do not have a bag or any belongings for that matter.” He gave you a once over to emphasize his words, his calm eyes lingering a bit too long on your form for your anger to continue overriding the flustered mess that you had become. “I- I do!” You don’t know why you needed to prove yourself to him, but it was a valid question he’d asked. So, you showed him the arm he was not holding, that carried a laptop. Realising he was still holding onto your hand, the sudden thought made you suddenly hot and clammy and before he could do anything about it you pulled it out of his warm hold.

Trying to ignore the loss of warmth the contact brought you, you looked away flustered.

“This cannot be happening. Look, I sat down there first, I put a note down because I needed to go find a book for my essay and….oh god...it’s due in like…..five hours”. Not looking at him the entire time you explained your situation to him, frustration and anxiety taking over your anger you missed the worried look he threw at your red face and the slight movement he made with his hands as if to grab your fretting ones. Instead when you looked back at him after a couple of moments of silence, what you saw was him studying the space behind you closely. “Hey! Are you even listening?” You got over your anger and tried to explain, (not that you needed to) somewhat logically to make this person understand why you needed the seat back and all they did was ignore you.

“Have you found the book that you needed?” He turned his attention back to you, a small smile forming onto his face. You did not know whether it was the fact that he completely ignored what you had said earlier, the untimely smile he gave you, or the fact that your heart sped up at the said smile, but your anger went through the roof once again.

“No! Now excuse me whilst I go reclaim my seat. If you want to waste time out here just staring at the walls, that is your issue, some of us have problems they need to fix.” Making a move to turn around you halted, realising you were going the wrong way. Mumbling to yourself you brushed past the guy and headed for the lifts. Calling the lift you tapped your foot impatiently. You could find another seat somewhere else, and if not, you were desperate enough to finish the paper that you would risk your own bottom and sit in between shelves. It felt like an eternity until the lift arrived and as soon as you got in you pressed the button for the floor above you thinking you may have some luck there. Surveying the corridor you noticed that the guy had left, and surprisingly a twinge of disappointment made you sigh. You just wanted to continue the argument, nothing else.

Right before the doors to the lift could close though a running form made its way to the lift sliding in between the door with swift grace, almost barreling into you. It took you a moment to realise it was the seat stealer with his bags packed up and his laptop in his hands. “What are you doing?” you hissed as you noticed he cancelled your floor and pressed the tower one instead. “Making up for stealing your seat”, he casually replied as he observed the numbers in the lift change.

“By not letting me go find another seat?” you huffed, “you could have just vacated the seat earlier and it would have all been fine.”

“But it wouldn’t have given me an excuse to talk to you for longer than three seconds would it? I’m Hoseok by the way.” He turned and smiled at you, the dimples in his cheeks becoming prominent. Rendered speechless by his forwardness, you did not know how to respond. So you settled onto clearing your throat and willing the blush that was taking over the apples of your cheeks away. Not meeting his eyes and refusing to grant him with the same grace and give him your name, you chose instead to ask where he was planning to take you. His response was just as cryptic as his previous one, “you will see”.

The rest of the way had been spent in silence, you having given up on trying to argue with the seat stealer...Hoseok. You repeated the name in your head multiple times, it suited him. For a brief second you wondered how it would sound if you said it out loud, but you squashed that thought away very quickly. You weren’t friends or even acquaintances so there was no reason for you to do so.

Whilst your brain was running a hundred miles an hour, throughout this time Hoseok took the time to observe you. Undeniably pretty, a smile made its way onto his face as he watched the different faces that you were pulling clearly lost deep in thought. You are cute. He knew that your argument couldn’t even be called as such. To his defense, the seat he had occupied had nothing on it. It was only when he ran back to gather his things and rush back to you that he noticed the note and the pen that were lying on the floor near the foot of the desk. In his haste he had grabbed both of them hoping that if his plan did not work he would have another excuse to approach you at some point. Now, those two items were weighing down in his pocket. Your name, which you had not freely given to him but it was written on the note, burnt into his mind. Maybe he did not need them after all. He would give you your pen back of course, but he would keep the note. It would be good memorabilia in the future.

The lift came to a halt and the doors opened .This time Hoseok did not even hesitate to grab your hand and lead you to your destination as he was afraid you would run away from him. Your heart thumping again at the gesture you let yourself be led by him too astonished to say anything. Who was this human being and why was he so friendly after you’d argued for the good part of an hour. Before you could panic about the time you had lost, Hoseok stopped abruptly.

‘We’re here’ he motioned with his free hand. The one that did not occupy yours.

Realising so you tried to inconspicuously free your hand from his, the astonishment at his behaviour quickly turned into amazement at the choice of space he was presenting you with. You were not a fan of the tower as heights were a bit of a stretch for you but the cosy alcove with window seats and the view of the night time sky it provided were enough to make you forget that. “Woah, how did you find this place?”’ You mumbled and quickly went to the window observing the lights of the city behind you. For how late it was, the scenery down below was surprisingly animated. Not getting a response you turned around thinking he had abandoned you there. What you were not expecting was the bashful look he was giving you whilst rubbing the back of his neck. “Uhm, by mistake really, I just happened to wander here one day and yeah...thought it was quiet enough and...well, I needed to make up for the fact that you did not have a seat in the end and you said you needed to finish your paper and…yeah’

Him reminding you of the paper that was now due in less than three hours made you jump in panic. Without thinking you threw your laptop onto the little table space that the alcove offered and sat down. Typing your password you opened the document you were working on. Whilst waiting for it to load you hesitated, bit your lip and looked up.

“Are you not going to sit down? I assume you also have work to do since you are here?” Without looking, you motioned to the seat directly across from you. This could end up being the best decision of your life or your worst... but you came to the conclusion you wouldn’t know unless you took a chance. Hearing him shift his feet and the feel of his knees close to yours as he sat down was enough to make you blush again. Here it goes, now or never.

‘I’m Y/N by the way’ you looked up in time to see him smile.

‘I know’

[fromiftowhen]

fic: i want your midnights (an Upstead secret santa one shot)

A little New Year’s Eve Upstead fic for the @chicagopd-secretsanta Secret Santa exchange! I got to write for @bleedinghearthalstead who prompted “New Year’s Eve in the emergency room.” I hope this is what you were looking for, and I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season! 

Rated T | 3300 words | Title from New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

“Hailey, I swear, this is a waste of time,” he groans. “I’m good.”

“Yeah, you look really good. Your knee is three times the size it’s supposed to be, Jay,” she says, gesturing to the ice pack barely covering his right knee.

“You don’t think I look good?” He lifts the corner of his mouth in a smirk, and she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up. Obviously, I think you look good, that’s why we’re in this situation.”

“Oh, I remember,” he grins, letting his eyes roam down her body and back up slowly. “But we’re gonna miss Kim’s New Year party.”

She nods. “She’ll have one next year. Maybe you’ll learn to keep your hands to yourself by then and we won’t end up sitting in the ER waiting for the ball to drop.”

“Excuse me, I'll learn to keep my hands to myself? Pretty sure you started it.”

She just rolls her eyes and adjusts the ice pack on his knee.

He watches her for a moment until she glances up and narrows her eyes at him. “What?”

He shakes his head, grinning. “You want to spend next New Year’s Eve with me,” he says, fighting to keep the laugh out of his voice.

“Shut up,” she says again, but there’s a tiny hint of a blush creeping across her cheeks. It’s the first New Year’s Eve they’ve spent together as a couple and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been looking forward to Kim’s annual party, where he’d spent the last few years ringing in midnight with Hailey beside him.

This year, though, wouldn’t find him awkwardly swigging his beer to keep from reaching over and kissing her as the clock struck midnight. He’s not one for tradition or resolutions, doesn’t believe things magically change because the calendar flips over again.

This year, though. Well, her cheeks are still a little pink, and he’s finally gonna kiss her at midnight, hospital room and bad lighting and knee pain aside.

He just grins, and of course, she rolls her eyes again. “Try not to get any more stupid injuries this next year, and we’ll see about spending another New Year together.”

He finally lets himself laugh. “I’m sorry,” he says, incredulous. “Stupid injuries? You were a willing, enthusiastic participant.”

“Don’t give yourself too much credit there, pal,” she mutters. “You can shower by yourself next New Year’s Eve.”

“I was trying to,” he laughs, cringing a little as he shifts, and his knee protests with sharp pain.

She frowns. “See, it does hurt.”

“I’m fine,” he insists, but he lets her reach behind him and adjust his pillow so he doesn’t have to shift back too far in the bed.

Jay watches her pace the small hospital room, her arms crossed over her chest. She’s worried, and it’s honestly pretty damn cute.

“I’m sure you are,” she says, but it sounds like she’s just placating him. “I’m just saying, you made a very weird noise when you fell.”

“Yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “That’s because I was about to--”

The automatic whir of the sliding door sounds and Will’s voice interrupts him.

“I’m all for a full medical history, but please, god, don’t finish that sentence,” he says, hugging a chart to his chest. He looks gleeful and Jay wants to punch him.

“Isn’t there some rule about not treating family members?” He asks, eyeing Will suspiciously.

Will rolls his eyes, and beside him, he watches Hailey try to hide a smirk.

“Hey, I don’t need you two ganging up on me right now. I’m injured here.” He’ll never admit it sounds like a whine.

“Sure,” Hailey says. “The doctor comes in and suddenly you’re injured. You were fine two seconds ago.”

“Don’t call him the doctor, please,” he groans. “He’s already gonna be insufferable.”

“They worry we might become too emotionally invested,” Will says, shrugging like it’s another rule he’s about to disregard. “Pretty sure that’s not gonna be a problem.” He grins, flipping open the chart.

“Any chance you can get us out of here by midnight?” Jay asks, watching Will’s smirk grow a little as he reads over the chart.

“Bro,” he groans, glancing back up. “I already pulled the only strings I have to get you back here without a long wait. No promises.”

“We’re good, Will,” Hailey says. “We can wait.” Her voice sounds pointed but her fingers on his shoulder are gentle.

“Thank you, Hailey,” Will says. “Seriously, Jay, the right knee. Again?”

He shrugs, but Hailey lets out a little choking noise next to him, and he turns to her.

“Again? This has happened before?”

He starts to shake his head, but Will cuts in. “Oh, yeah. What, you were 13 the first time? And then high school, and your first year on patrol?”

Hailey looks like she's going to lose her mind, and Jay tosses Will a look, silently begging him to shut up.

“Baseball, Hailey,” Jay tells her, trying not to laugh. “Rounding the bases the first time and sliding into home the second. And chasing an offender on patrol.”

She nods slowly. “Okay. That makes more sense.”

Jay watches Will glance between them and then down at the chart. “This just says you fell. What did it this time?”

He doesn't say anything, but he can see pink flares dance across Hailey's cheeks. His brother is an idiot, but he's not an idiot, and Jay watches him put the pieces together.

“Ah,” he nods, smirking, and Jay can hear the laughter trying to fight its way through. “Well, sounds like you were at least rounding the bases this time too.”

“Oh, my god,” Hailey whispers, running a hand down her face.

Will sets the chart down and lifts the ice pack on his knee, pressing lightly around the swelling. “One to ten?” He asks, glancing up as Jay tries and fails not to hiss.

“Two,” he says.

“And if your girlfriend wasn't two feet away?”

“I hate you,” he whispers. “Four. Maybe five,” he admits.

Will steps back, grinning. “You worship me. You're gonna be fine. Doesn't seem like anything's torn, but I want a scan to double-check.”

“You can't just--”

“No,” Will sighs. “I can't just wrap it or let you leave or whatever other malpractice you were about to suggest.”

Jay rolls his eyes, but nods. “Fine. But no--”

“No needles, we know,” Hailey and Will say together, and honestly, he's not sure when his idiot brother and his sarcastic girlfriend became BFFs, but he's not into it.

He grumbles out a thanks but smiles when Hailey's fingers tangle with his on the edge of the mattress.

“I'm gonna go order your scan. How's the pain, really? Need anything for it?” It's Will's concerned doctor voice, but it sounds a lot like his protective brother voice and something in him tugs with appreciation.

“I’m good, but thanks.”

Will smiles. “Okay. But don't be a hero, doofus,” he says, picking up the chart and heading for the door. “Someone will come to get you soon.”

He nods.

“Oh, and Jay?” Will’s caring brother voice is gone, and Jay steels himself.

“Next time, let the girl shower alone.” Jay shoots him a look because they hadn't said anything, but Will just grins.

“I see this way too often. Plus, both of you have wet hair and I'm pretty sure your shirt is on backward.”

“Jesus christ,” Hailey whispers.

“You good, Hailey? I don't see any visible injuries. Escaped unscathed?”

She nods, but Jay's pretty sure she might murder both of them if given the slightest chance.

Will laughs. “Good. Oh, to be young and stupid and in love.”

He rolls his eyes. “For the record, I was in the shower first. By myself. This is barely my fault,” he says, but Will just gives a sarcastic little wave as the door closes behind him.

The room quiets as Hailey's fingers tug at his collar, little sparks of heat lingering where she touches.

“He was right,” she groans. Her fingers trail down his arm and he smiles.

“Well, don't ever tell him that,” he says, leaning forward and reaching for his collar to tug the shirt over his head. He glances at her, her eyes tracking his movements as he's turning it around, and smirks.

“Yeah, you probably shouldn't look at me like that right now. That look is the reason we're sitting here,” he grins, pulling the shirt slowly back down his chest.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, smoothing back her ponytail. When she glances up, her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I was joking.”

She nods. “I know.”

“C’mere,” he says, reaching out an arm for her and pulling her up onto the narrow mattress with him. “It was an accident, babe.”

She nods again, reaching up to thread their fingers together where his arm rests over her shoulder. “I am sorry, though.”

“I’m gonna need you to stop apologizing for surprising me in the shower,” he laughs, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “Not ever gonna be mad about that.”

She laughs against his chest, and things feel like they're righting themselves again. He barely feels his knee.

“I'm not apologizing for that. That was fun,” she says. “Just. You know, the part where you fell.”

“Yeah, that wasn't the ending I was hoping for, but I'll survive. And still, not your fault.”

“Still,” she says. “I feel bad.”

“Gonna need that to stop, too. And I'm gonna be really mad if this keeps you from joining me in the shower in the future, just so we're clear.”

She rolls her eyes. “We'll see. Let's give you some time to heal first.”

He shrugs. “Not necessary.”

“Right, I forgot, you're fine,” she says. “I'll get you one of those shower chairs, maybe a handrail installed?

He wrinkles his nose slightly, shaking his head as he leans in to kiss her. “I mean, you can get me a shower chair if you're planning to--”

A knock sounds on the glass and he groans slightly when she pulls away as the door opens and a transporter with a wheelchair comes in.

“You must know someone,” he says. “Dr. Halstead had me skip you to the front of the line.”

“Aww,” Hailey says. “That’s a good brother.”

Jay laughs, shifting himself off the mattress and into the chair quickly. “That’s an annoyed brother,” he tells her. “He wants me out of here before I remind him how much I hate hospitals.”

She shifts so she’s more comfortable on the mattress where he was stretched out. “Yeah, I want you out of here too, I’m gonna stretch out for a bit.”

“What, too much exercise earlier?” He smirks as he’s wheeled out of the room.

“Bye, Jay,” she calls, and he watches her until she’s out of sight.

——————————

By the time he’s wheeled back in the room, it’s a little after 11PM, and Hailey is stretched out on the mattress on her phone.

“Go okay?” She asks, sitting up as he slides onto the mattress beside her, shifting to put his knee back up.

“‘Bout as good as anything in a hospital can,” he says, leaning over to press a kiss to her shoulder. “Think we’ll be out of here by midnight?”

She bites her lip. “I saw Will and April run by for a trauma a little while ago, so…”

“Probably not,” he fills in. “Oh well, good company at least,” he says, knocking his shoulder with hers.

“Mhmm,” she murmurs.

“You gonna make it to midnight, pal?” He asks quietly, watching her yawn.

She nods. “‘Course. I just didn't plan on being in bed before midnight. Got a little too relaxed.”

He winks. “I didn't plan on it either. Or, at least, not a hospital bed,” he grins, leaning over to press his lips to her cheek.

She lifts her lips in a small, easy smile and reaches for her phone when it lights up a moment later.

“Kim says hi,” she says. “And also, that you're an idiot.”

“Ouch,” he laughs. “Does she… know why I'm an idiot?”

She gives him a please look, raising her eyebrows. “Does anybody?”

“You're mean in the hospital,” he teases. “I like shower Hailey better, injuries and all.”

She rolls her eyes, holding out her phone to show him a picture of Kim, Kevin, and Adam, a ridiculously large box of fireworks in the frame.

“Oh, they are very drunk, that's a horrible idea,” he laughs. “Might wanna warn Will to look out for them later.”

“Warn Will about who?” Will asks, sneaking in through the still-open door.

“Our very drunk coworkers,” Hailey says. “Everything going okay out there?”

Will glances over his shoulder and Jay watches him closely as he turns back. It's not, he can see it on his face. But Will just smiles.

“It's New Year’s Eve, and it's still early, really. But look,” he sighs. “Radiology is backed up, it's gonna be a while before I can see your scans. Sorry, man.”

He shrugs. “I figured. Could be worse.”

Will nods, glancing at his watch. “Hey, we have a little tradition here at midnight. Give me like, half an hour and I'll come to get you.”

Jay nods. “Okay,” he says, a little unsure.

“Trust me, bro. And in the meantime, don't do anything stupid to injure yourself further. Hospital sex isn't that cool.”

“Okay, that's my limit of hearing the wrong Halstead brother discuss my sex life,” Hailey sighs.

Will points to himself, cocky grin in place, and Jay prepares to have to leverage himself up onto his bad knee to punch him.

“Wrong Halstead? I'm the right Halstead. Best Halstead,” he says, grinning.

“You know what, you both suck,” she says, and Will laughs as he leaves the room, which feels like a little bit of a win.

Jay leans into her when they're alone again, his chin on her shoulder. “I'm the best Halstead, right?”

“Ehhh,” she says, shrugging.

“Mean,” he whispers. She laughs, her shoulders shaking under his chin.

“Fine,” she laughs. “You’re the best Halstead for me.”

He presses his lips to her jaw slowly. “That feels like a cop-out, but I’m gonna take it.”

“Good,” she says. Her phone vibrates next to them again and she picks it up, stifling a laugh as she swipes it open.

“Five bucks one of them is missing an eyebrow on Monday,” she says, showing him a video Kim sent, fireworks blasting in the background, and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Adam yelling over the music.

“If by one of them you mean Adam, that's a sucker's bet.”

“True,” she laughs. “How's the knee feel?”

He shifts back on the mattress, guiding his arm around her waist and bringing her back with him. “Once you've been shot, everything else is like an annoying paper cut,” he downplays, and her look tells him she knows he's full of it.

But she doesn't say anything, just settles in against him, yawning again.

“Sorry we're spending our first New Year’s Eve at the ER,” he whispers.

She shrugs. “Best New Year’s Eve I've spent in the ER.”

Something inside him clenches because it probably should have occurred to him. It's been years, but he knows she still carries the Booth stuff around with her, and he can still picture her face from that whole week so clearly, the anger and fear and determination.

He presses his lips to her temple and breathes slowly against her, in and out. He searches for something to say that won't be pointless or trite, but by the time he thinks he's found the words, her breathing has evened out against him and a quick glance down tells him she's dozed off.

His good knee is cramping a little where her thigh is resting over his, but he just smiles and lets her doze, letting her relaxed features ease him too.

——————————

He distracts himself with his phone and Hailey's quiet breathing in and out against him until a light knock sounds on the glass and Will sticks his head in the door.

“You annoy her to death finally?”

He rolls his eyes, but Will just smirks.

“Wanna wake her up?”

He pauses for a moment, considering. She looks relaxed and comfortable, and really, that's all he ever wants for her on the nights when sleep is hard to find.

And he wants to kiss her at midnight more than he'll admit, in the cheesiest way he can imagine, fireworks between them if not in the sky. But he knows he can kiss her whenever, and it'll be just as good then.

But a loud crash sounds in the hallway before he can make up his mind, and as Will turns to check on it, Hailey shifts against him, waking up.

“Hey,” he whispers quietly.

“Hey.” She runs a hand across her eyes, stretching her back slowly. “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“You're good. Wanna get up and go with Will?”

She nods as Will turns back to them.

“And she's alive,” he says. “Maybe you're less annoying than I thought, Jay.”

“Doubtful,” Hailey says, sitting up. “Where are we going?”

“That's a surprise,” Will says, turning to wheel in a wheelchair.

“Dude, come on. At least get me some crutches.”

“Nope,” he says, Hailey's voice echoing right behind his. “Come on.”

——————————

“The roof, bro? This isn't gonna be like when I was seven and you tried to push me off, right?”

Will rolls his eyes, easing the wheelchair to a stop near the edge of the roof. “For the thousandth time, you slipped, Jay. Plus, Hailey would probably stop me.”

“Depends on the day.” Her voice is quiet and her fingers are pinpoints of heat against the back of his neck in the cold. “This is really nice, Will.”

And it is. There are lights strung and it's as quiet as the city gets on a night like this, traffic down below painting the night in red and gold moving lights.

“Figured if you have to be here, you may as well get the good view. Usually, there’s a little crowd, so you lucked out.”

They chat for a couple of minutes until Will's pager goes off and he groans quietly, glancing down at it.

Jay glances at his watch. 11:57.

“Gotta run. I'll call you when I see your scans,” he says, clapping Jay on the shoulder, shaking him a little. “Don't freeze to death up here please.”

“Happy New Year, man.”

Will grins, leaning in to give Hailey a quick hug. “You guys too. Seriously, though, no dying, this is probably against all kinds of rules. I don’t need that hassle.”

“Go, dude,” Jay says, laughing.

Will waves and heads back toward the roof access door and Hailey turns to him.

“I dunno, your brother might be my favorite Halstead right now.”

Jay just shakes his head. “Absolutely unacceptable,” he says, holding out his hand to bring her closer, pulling her down to sit on his good knee.

“Okay?” She asks quietly, settling in.

“Think I'll survive,” he whispers, his hands coming to rest on her waist. “You know, they say how you ring in the new year is how you spend the rest of the year.”

She bites her lip. “So, on a hospital roof, injured? Gotta say, not all that promising.”

He rolls his eyes. “Or, you know, together with me could work too. Maybe minus the injuries.”

She scrunches up her nose but grins. “That might be okay.”

He glances at his watch behind her back. “Yeah?”

“Could be better, probably,” she whispers, already leaning in.

His lips meet hers and he kisses her slowly, mentally counting down until he hears fireworks and cars honking below on the street.

When she pulls back, she’s smiling, and yeah, he could definitely spend the year exactly like this.

He thinks about pulling away, looking for fireworks in the night sky, but she leans back in and he closes his eyes, and he doesn’t need to look anywhere else to find them.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 14: So If You Put a Fraction Into a Duel Disk, the Card Explodes

We left on quite the cliffhanger last episode, so I’ll fill you in:

I did not get the haircut.

Like I seriously considered getting a Zigfried for a cool 3 or 4 minutes there, but then I decided to wait a couple of days and I basically forgot.

But, back to the arc finale, Seto has decided to walk, not run, to the Kaiba lab in order to fix the virus rapidly eating his entire company.

I just want to point out that Zigfried went through a LOT of work to get Seto Kiaba to go “uggggh” turn around, and pretend to calmly walk away. I’m used to Seto losing his nut kind of a lot and blowing things up but this season he’s like “be chill be chill be chill” so that the entire world doesn’t think he’s a spaz on TV.

And little aside about Seto’s design choices here, I fell down a hole of interior design videos, and can I just say: apparently these wood frame things on the wall are back in style? Good on you, 2002(3?) Seto Kaiba. Don’t think that current designers are painting them purple but...we’re halfway there to Yugioh fashion.

Meanwhile, Pharaoh decides to remind everyone that these stakes are hella low. The worst that happens is that Zigfried deletes the plane that Yugi needs to fly home...which would be an impressive virus.

Like it’s hard to tell if Yami even has a solid concept of “capitalism” and whether or not he cares about or understands the makeup of Seto’s company (which up till now has operated like a small country and not a business...which is a little more Pharaoh’s understanding. Either way...hard to tell if Yami would shed two tears for the loss of Kaiba corp.)

And, despite what I say in the caps, I feel like Leon and Zigfried are the first villains we’ve ever had that Yugi and Pharaoh didn’t unintentionally disclose that they are 2 people to. Zigfried and Leon are just...completely oblivious to how effed up Yugi’s bean is. They think that’s just a normal kid and lol no dudes...y’all got distracted by Seto Kabia but you have a literal Egyptian God just hovering around in the background and dating 3 people by accident.

Like when the show shelves the main storyline, it is very funny how it’s all “And we’re gonna put the Pharaoh crisis on hold--just put a pin in it. No one will notice this child is two nervous wrecks stitched together” and then Yugi and Yami just kinda hold it in and watch all patiently until it’s their turn to get off the bench.

(read more under the cut)

In the giant computer tower, Seto Kaiba shouts out a string of orders and numbers, admired the many sonar detector looking windows open on every monitor, and then sat down at his desk to like...check the firewall, I guess?

The virus is past the firewall. It’s um...it’s inside the firewall, pretty sure that was the point, but youknow, it’s a kid’s show so they’re just throwing out computer stuff that has no meaning to the writers of this show.

Mokuba thinks fondly of how Seto Kaiba has never screwed him over (which I mean...maybe not on purpose, ((except for that one time he did screw him over on purpose to get Gozaburo Kaiba to accidentally give Seto Kaiba the company, but you could say that was a grander scheme that he knew Mokuba would see through, which...)) but Seto certainly has screwed Mokuba over accidentally. At least once.)

And meanwhile, Yami fixes everything through card shenanigans.

So here’s the shenanigan this episode: I don’t go over cards here but this one requires a limited amount of explanation.

So every round the golden castle deletes half of Yugi’s cards. So he was like...I’ll just draw down to one card. They can’t delete half a card...so that means the card must delete one of the two cards on the field which means it must delete itself.

...which is like the closest Yugioh will probably ever get to abusing a glitch to do a speedrunning tactic like GDQ.

Anyway, like I stated in the title: there are no fractions allowed in Yugioh. If you do that to your priceless one-of-a-kind card you got from winning one of Pegasus’ murder tournies, it will irreparably bust the card.

I’m sure at least one of you will correct me with the proper way to insert a fraction into your duel disk. Cuz like...as I say multiple times so we never forget, I barely pay attention to this card game and I’m just flying by the seat of my pants.

I want to say Seto and Mokuba were in the hacker chairs for like...3 minutes maybe before they realized “oh...Yugi fixed it...” and walked the half a mile back to the duel arena.

and also, as I’m looking at Seto’s glasses here, I just realized...all of Kaiba’s team wears sunglasses all the time. Inside, outside, night, or day...

They haven’t outright said this...but what if those aren’t sunglasses?

Is Roland and that other Roland wearing fancy cyber glasses? They are, right? Because they wear them indoors?

Damn, they can’t take a piss without being on call with Kaiba Corp, can they?

Now the problem is...Yugi played all of his cards (he has two in front of him face down, but none in his deck) and after milling himself, this means he’s now basically a sitting duck for Leon to take the title of “King of Games.”

Leon insists that he defend whatever scraps are left of his card honor and not duel a person who is carrying no cards and Yugi was like “COME AT ME BRO THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW I’M ALIVE.”

He didn’t even have to do a horror on Leon, he just...played cards good? I skipped it, I’ll be honest, but overall Leon’s card honor was...saved? Maybe? I mean he also go destroyed when his competitor had not a single card in his duel disk so...

...Leon will have to work on his card honor off screen because he’s pretty well humiliated at this point.

But stumbling onto the playing field like he’s half dazed/daydrunk, Zigfried is like “You forgot I already won, bastards!”

Which is when we find out that Zigfried’s “delete all” virus failed to press “enter” and deleted basically nothing. Just like when my Mom attempts to send something in Gmail but doesn’t press “Send” and tells me that Google is down and broken.

Sorry my bro has informed me that he ALSO has had to help my Mother locate the “Send” button and I just...I know she absolutely did that but I’m in denial that this Riddle of the Sphinx has happened to her multiple times.

Honestly, the pep talk we get from Leon at the end to cheer up his bro was a whole lot of “we will pick ourselves up and we’ll do better next time. Together.” and sure you can translate that as “we’ll be honest next time” or you can translate that as “next time we will be not nearly as obvious about inserting a virus into their computer until it is done doing the job, bro.”

Just like Dartz, we didn’t really get a whole lot of retribution or closure when it comes to Zigfried. But, unlike Dartz, Zigfried didn’t do too much murder, so I guess this is fine. He tried to cheat in a card game...

...and I guess tried to delete Kaiba Corp but youknow...

...people let him have that. The police saw the ticket of “this man tried to delete Kaiba Corp” and they just...didn’t arrest him. The judge saw that ticket and didn’t put out a warrant. They just let Zigfried have this, almost like “better luck next time, ya?”

And then Roland clocked out for the day and went home, thus ending this arc.

Look at all these characters, most of which we never saw duel even one card.

We also got one shot of Mai for some reason although she was not in this arc.

AAAHHHH. Every time I’m like “the show is done screwing geography” we get another freakin geography spook!

But we went back to California in order to get a scene of these guys in an airport to get a flight to Japan...

which means Rex and Weevil just...were they shipped home by the Kaibas? Because way to ditch getting arrested by the American Government, hot damn. They are...literally terrorists who destroyed a Caltrain in a plot to kill everyone in the world so like...really surprised Rex and Weevil are in public...but maybe all the FBI were dead at the time so they just didn’t know?

Meanwhile, Duke has to go back to Death Valley and call a tow truck for his car, RIP.

I sure hope he got PTO during this stunt and isn’t going home to a pink slip.

I’m not sure of Dukes life or anything going on with Duke. I’m sure the thing about Serenity is him joking because we have all forgotten about that girl by this point...but also...is Duke...still living in the Tenderloin? The crime rate is very, very high and the ground isn’t solid, so it will liquefy if there’s an Earthquake, but it is one of the few places in the Bay Area that doesn’t light on fire every year. He has that going for him.

I just really hope Duke moves out of the Tenderloin one of these days, he needs a better life.

Meanwhile, Rebecca does one last crime.

This is like a post-epidemic reaction to a hug, but in 2002(3?).

I don’t think I’ll miss Rebecca too much. Wanted to like her more, but she was under-utilized, like most of the characters on Yugioh. Not even just talking girl characters here--most characters on Yugioh are super under-utilized, just Tristan Wallflowers doing nothing, but also being selectively OP as hell about very specific things they never, ever need to do.

Speaking of the devil:

Yugi...just saved his entire company...

But Mokuba is just has to make sure to make it seem like they owed Mokuba and not the other way around. Just in case.

So off they go on this massive plane. It’s probably more to do with the length of the trip as to why the plane is so big but also...

This plane is overcompensating.

But before we analyze that, lets close the book on Seto Kaiba’s very short therapy arc. Overall, it was a nice distraction, but I can see why people call it a filler arc, as it really doesn’t affect...anything going on in the major plotlines, which makes me think it could have been a movie or a game or something. But overall, it’s not bad, it’s just not what you’d expect if you were a Western audience.

Like I’m preaching to the choir, but typically, Western stories are entirely plot focused, and so our arcs always give or take away from that plot. But in a Eastern story arc, it may instead be character focused, where the climax is a character evolving or coming to some sort of cathartic realization, which this arc was, in a big way. We still had some plot, because this is a Shonen, but overall it was about characters, and specifically whether or not Leon and his bro would reconcile or change--which they did.

We did get to see a little more growth on Seto in that he...didn’t go bonkers and hallucinate during a card game. It’s been a while since we’ve had him not do that. Seto was very chill this arc, which makes sense, it was a very chill slice of life arc for everyone involved.

So, next we move on to the next one, which bro has informed me...is

still not Bakura.

According to Bro, the next arc didn’t even air in the Japanese version of the show? Like he’s got a lot of spicy Yugioh headcanons so he could be wrong (He did tell me that he thought that Zigfried was Seto Kaiba’s ex boyfriend when he saw this as a kid which...that sure is a way to interpret this arc, and it probably wasn’t just my little brother who went down that thought tube there...)

(Bro Note: To be fair, I didn’t watch much of this arc as a kid.)

But he says the next arc was originally a movie. But they released it in the States as episodes to be part of S5, just to put more episodes in there. Which, if he’s correct, makes it seem like we’re getting like the Mulan 2 experience kind of shoved in between this arc and the next

But um..

according to bro it has virtually no card games.

.......

I’m so used to only capping 10 minutes an episode, what?

Anyway, until then, here’s the link to read the rest of these from the start in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’m kinda itching to do a Season Zero, it’s been a hot minute--so those take a little longer to do, especially since I need to go to a different site I haven’t...checked out yet...I’ll be back...eventually? I just know that at some point in Season Zero they fight it out with yo-yo’s and I want to see it.

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Pivitol~

Summary: You can always count on your coworker and friend Yuko to help you short out your emotions while giving some good advice as well. After your little phone call it was time to have a heart to heart with Kai. The night is winding down. This is your last night here for a little bit after all. Why not open up?

Chapter: 15

Warnings: None

You tried to focus while in the shower but a feeling of guilt came over you for a split second. This was the first real time you managed to make Kai sad in the relationship. For someone as stoic as him, he always managed to show you his real side occasionally when alone together. You had never seen him more disappointed than tonight when at the dinner table. However, a part of you was threatening to smack yourself over it. Why should you have to give up this job you got in Japan and your entire apartment just to move in with him? He should move in with you instead! Suddenly the thought of Kai being cooped up in your little apartment while you were at work made you laugh. He’d probably be in there cleaning everything from head to toe until you’d come home from work. If he learned how to cook better, maybe he’d make dinner. Yeah...maybe it wasn’t a good idea if he lived with you. Still, you can’t just up and leave everything for him. Knowing him, he’d literally buy you a car to travel to and from work with. but that wouldn’t do much good either because he’d probably complain about not seeing you enough anyway. Pops would be ecstatic at the thought of having you here! The old man already welcomed you with such open arms that he left you alone with Kai in the house for 2 days straight. He speaks so highly of you so you know he really feels for you. It wouldn’t be so bad now that you thought about it, but you didn’t want to let go of that sense of independence so soon. What would Yuko think? You immediately finished your shower, dried off, and changed into pajamas before peeking out the doorway and seeing Kai not in the room. You shuffled to quietly close the door of the room before heading back into the bathroom and closing yourself in there too. You quickly picked up your phone and dialed up Yuko’s number, She picked up on the second ring as usual. “Calling your coworker on vacation? Wow, you really are a workaholic!” She didn’t waste her time in teasing you. “Oh hush up and listen! Okay so I’m at Kai’s house right now and-” Her loud excited squeal damn near busted the speaker AND your eardrum. “Oh my God, OH MY GOD! TELL ME EVERYTHING!” 

“I would if you’d stop screaming in my ear!” You laughed lightly. “Okay listen, things have been going great so far. I met his father and all of that when suddenly, get this. His dad bounces off on this random trip and leaves me to housesit by myself...with Kai.” 

“Ohhhhh you know he did that on purpose right?”

“Stop, cut it out.”

“No think about it! I had this ex girlfriend in high school and when we were together, her parents would leave us alone for the most bullshit reasons. Like one time they had to run errands at like 12:00 a.m while I was there. I think it’s pretty clear they just wanted us to have privacy at the time. I’m telling you, he’s definitely doing this on purpose” Yuko said. You sighed and thought about it for a second. “Okay yeah that’s probably why he suddenly had to go. Anyway, that’s beside the point! So me and him are eating tonight and he literally just randomly brought up that I should move in with him. Then he starts talking about how he can support me and I don’t have to work and-”

“So why didn’t you say YES?!” Yuko interrupted and you groaned. “Y/N it’s like a dream if I could just move into a nice house instead of my shitty apartment and never have to work again. Like why wouldn’t you want that???”

“Because I don’t want to have to depend on anyone whether he wants to give it to me or not! I mean I literally just moved here months back and got the job! I like having my own sense of achievement. I mean I love him and I’m not against the whole job thing but we haven’t even reached some of the important milestones in our relationship and oop-” You mentally slapped yourself when you realized you fucked up by telling her this. Yuko would hound you until you fessed up what you meant so you might as well come clean now. “I...what I mean by that is we just had our first kiss earlier today.” You waited for the pause and Yuko laughed. “Big deal! A lot of couples don’t kiss until a few months of dating!” 

“No Yuko...I mean this was his FIRST kiss in EVER.”

“Y/N...how uh...how old is he again?” 

“It doesn’t matter! Listen, the whole reason is because he a germaphobe I guess. I think for the most part I’m surely his first girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. But when we kissed today I felt like we could’ve gone further. That’s beside the point. Tonight will be the first night we sleep in the same bed together NOT SEXUALLY before you bring it up.” You paused to hear the huff in her voice. “Anyway, like I said. It’s too fast to jump from the first kiss to moving in together.” Yuko sighed over the line and waited before she replied. “I’m going to give you this last bit of advice before I get off the line because I need rest and I’m covering Sosuke’s shift tomorrow. Every relationship moves at it’s own pace when it comes to different people okay? While another couple could be on the other side of the city waiting 2 years before moving in together, there is another couple that dated for half a month and are already unpacking boxes in their new home. It’s all about communication, understanding, and compromise. You don’t have to do things because it’s the stereotypical thing to do. Just because its more common for the first kiss to come before moving in together doesn’t mean it applies to everyone. Besides, he is a germaphobe after all, so your relationship is unconventional to begin with. At the end of the day, it’s okay to stand your ground when you feel your independence is at stake, but don’t do it out of fear of losing something you can maintain just the same if you moved in with him. Whether that is tomorrow, 3 months from now, or 4 years.”

“...Thanks Yuko.”

“Anytime.”

After you got off the phone you left the bathroom and bedroom to find Kai on the couch. He was currently pretty invested in reruns of the show you watched together for sometime. “Rerun huh? Are you finally done poking holes in the plot?” You teased him and he suddenly turned his head to look at you. He smiled and nodded. “I figured I’d get caught up again before the new season comes out. Are you ready for bed Angel?” You nodded at him and silently went to the room. He turned the phone off and followed behind you. While you got settled into bed, he headed to take his own shower. When he finally came out, you turned to look at him in the dim light and smiled softly. “Kai you don’t need to force yourself for this.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh please, it’s about time I took advantage of having an angel in my presence. Besides, I want to see what all the fuss is about when it comes to this cuddling business.” He spoke as he slipped under the covers and into bed with you. “Take it at your own pace.” You reassured him and he nodded. You turned so your back faced him, that way he didn’t have to possibly feel any pressure from having you look at him. Slowly but surely he carefully crept over to you. He cautiously closed the gap between you two and placed an arm around you as his face slowly fell onto the top of your head. The smell of his soap never really piqued his interest but it was different when you had showered with it. He took a long quiet inhale of your scent and hugged you a bit tighter. After a moment of blissful silence you finally spoke up. “Kai I’m uh sorry. Ab-about earlier I mean. It’s not that I don’t want to live with you or anything. I just don’t feel like right now is the best time. I don’t want you to have to jump at giving me an entire car to go to work or even supporting me if I quit. I’m not saying I won’t change my mind, but if you give me time to think on it then I know I’ll come to agree eventually.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I took some time to think about how my decisions and actions affected you as well. Ever since I was younger I had a thing about me. I always take things a bit far sometimes and I tend to get carried away. Even Pops says this is true. I just got so excited with idea of being able to see you everyday that I couldn’t help but to ask. My mind doesn’t change however, I’m still hoping you’ll agree. But if you need time then so be it.” He became bold for a moment and laid a loving kiss on the back of your head. “Wow, you really like me enough to want to see me every day?” You teased him and he laughed quietly. “Oh absolutely. I can’t wait until that day comes.” You smiled to yourself and rolled over to face him. The way his eyes seemed to shine brightly even under the dim lighting of the room really made your heart skip a beat. There wasn’t a doubt in the world when you looked in those eyes that he loved you. You snuggled into his chest and the both of your were out like a light. 

[yan-twst]

CYOA - Twisted Wonderland

aaand here it is, finally! Chapter one of my choose your own adventure fic for twst! This is the very first chapter; it’s a bit of a slow start, establishing the plot and all, you know? As was decided by the poll, the reader is in Diasomnia (however, I’m sure y’all can probably figure out a way to worm out of the dorm quickly and meet more characters). Anyways, without further ado, here’s the fic!

You sometimes wished that your dorm wasn’t so… Gloomy. Sure, Diasomnia had some cool things; the whole “Valley of Thorns Castle” aesthetic was cool, and the fact the hallways were lit with green torches always looked cool at night, not to mention the TVs and games in the common room, but… As you tried to study for the upcoming quiz, you quietly cursed the controlled climate. Yes, you knew that rain and storms were natural in the area; but didn’t the school control the dorm’s climate with fae magic?! It was way too difficult to concentrate on your potions notes when the rain outside felt like it was lulling you to sleep as it fell against your windows.

Your roommate was snoozing in his bed- either he’d already studied, or he’d given up on the quiz. Either way, you couldn’t deny that it was alluring to just forget the damn thing and go to bed. It wasn’t that late, but you’d been going to sleep at awful hours lately, and your body sorely demanded you get some sleep. And yet, glancing down at the recipe for the minor memory erasing draught you’d have to concoct tomorrow, you knew that if you went to sleep now, you’d be dealing with Crewel’s biting critique and a terrible grade tomorrow.

A snore from your roommate broke your concentration, and you glared at the sleeping boy. Usually you and him got along just fine, but in this moment, it felt like he was testing you, as he slept sweetly and your sleep deprived self stressed over a notebook. Hearing another snore, you decided to move to the common room- maybe there you’d concentrate a bit better, and also not be tempted by the siren’s call of your bed. Picking up your phone and your notebook, you left the room, closing the door softly so as to not disturb your roommate, and made your way down the eerie halls of the dorm.

“Vice dorm leader…?” immediately, you noticed that Lilia was in the common room. After that your nose registered a smell so odd it almost made you turn around and leave. It wasn’t a bad smell, just… Incredibly odd and off putting: and you quickly pinpointed the source of it to be some charred, blackened and bizarre dish that your vice dorm leader was holding. 

“Oh? Hello there.” he said with a chuckle. You wouldn’t call Lilia a close friend by any means, but you did know him well. As a vice dorm leader, he did his best to help out the Diasomnia students, and he was also fond of pulling small pranks here and there; you’d been a victim of his tricks and also gone to him for help a couple times in your two years of being at NRC. “It’s an odd hour to be hanging out… Or could it be the smell of my cooking that brought you here?”

“Your… cooking?” so that charred thing he was holding was… food? You’d been warned- mostly by your fellow second year Silver- that Lilia was not a good cook (in fact, Silver had made it seem like his food was somehow a health hazard), but you’d imagined the usual cooking oopsies. Too much salt, not enough seasoning, maybe burning some of the food; the usual mistakes people made when cooking. However, looking at the blackened and mysterious substance in the plate he held… You wondered if perhaps Silver had been right in making Lilia’s cooking sound like some sort of biohazard.

“Indeed, I’ve been cooking some cookies. I wanted to cheer Silver, since he’s been studying hard for a quiz. And there’s nothing quite like some cookies to snack on while studying, right?” said Lilia. Cookies…? You walked closer and squinted at the plate; so those were Lilia’s cookies…? You were pretty sure you could see eggshell shards on the otherwise charcoal black pieces of what you hoped was dough. Did he… Did he not see the problem with them?

“Oh, the potions quiz for tomorrow? Yeah, I’m sure he’s been studying… I doubt Crewel is going to go easy on us.” You said with a nervous laughter, trying to divert the topic from the so-called cookies. The last thing you wanted was for him to ask you to taste test or something. A bite of those cookies would probably take you out of commission for a good week or two, and while being sick to miss class tomorrow and avoid the quiz was tempting, you really weren’t sure if it was worth it to risk some crazy horrible food poisoning for that. 

“Fufu, you’re also working quite hard, I gather? Did you come to study here?” asked Lilia, pointing to your notebook. You nodded. 

“Mhm, my roommate was being a bit loud, so…” you shrugged with a smile. You weren’t gonna throw your roommate under the bus and tell Lilia he was snoring like a train and that drove you out of the room, you were at least kind enough to omit that particular piece of info. “Well, I’m probably just going to look over the notes a bit and then go to sleep. I can only study so much to make a potion without actually being at the lab, after all.”

“Ah, Silver did mention that Crewel was making you all make a draught from memory.” Lilia hummed. “Are you having trouble with this? I can always try to help, after delivering these delicious cookies to Silver.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly bother you with this, it’s ok, vice dorm leader!” you said, quickly shaking your head. You didn’t want to waste Lilia’s time; he was a third year, after all… If your work was hard as a second year, he was probably drowning in schoolwork and studying, right? Not to mention you kind of felt like you should show more respect to him: he was an ancient fae and you were pretty sure he was a war veteran despite being in high school. 

“Oh, please call me Lilia. We’ve known each other for too long for you to be using titles, (name). I still remember the day the magic mirror sorted you into Diasomnia, right after my dear Silver was sorted.” he said with a smile, his pointy fangs catching your eye. “You’re close friends with Silver, aren’t you? I’m quite grateful you spend time with him, he’s a good boy.”

“Oh, um, well… Then I’ll call you Lilia, if that’s really ok…” you said, a bit bashful. You didn’t miss how he talked about Silver; you knew that the 2nd year did constantly refer to Lilia as ‘old man’, but you’d brushed it off to perhaps him being close enough to Lilia to use that as a nickname, but… The way Lilia spoke, it almost sounded like a father being happy his son had found a friend. “Yes, me and Silver are close. We’re in the same class, I usually give him my notes when he falls asleep in the middle of lectures. He also helps me study, sometimes.”

“Oh, you do? I must thank you, then. It’s quite kind of you.” Lilia said with a smile. “Oh! How rude of me, I haven’t offered you a cookie, have I? They’re freshly baked, you should try them. It’s the same recipe I made for Silver when he was younger.”

“Er-!” you paled. Crap, this was what you’d been fearing. The stress of the request made you not even stop to think about the odd wording of ‘making cookies for Silver ever since he was younger’ or the implication Lilia had somehow raised Silver; your brain was blaring alarms telling you to NOT put those… Things anywhere close to your face. But at the same time, Lilia was smiling so happily as he picked one of the charred objects and stuck it out in your direction.

“Lilia. You shouldn’t be giving that to humans.” a deep voice made you freeze before you accepted the cookie with a reluctant hand. You quickly turned around to spot the dorm leader entering the common room, arms crossed as he stared at Lilia. “You’re going to kill them if you make them eat that.”

“Oh, come on Malleus, don’t say that! My cookies are delicious.” Lilia sighed, taking back his baked treat and taking a bite for himself. You internally cringed at the noise of what you now absolutely knew to be chunks of eggshell and god knows what else in the object. “Don’t you see you’ll give (name) a bad impression of my cooking if you say that?”

“... It’s my duty to protect my dorm members.” said Malleus, walking closer to you and warily eyeing Lilia’s cooking. You held back a sigh of relief- yup, he’d definitely saved you. If even Malleus Draconia was scared of Lilia’s hellish cookies, you probably would have keeled over and died if you’d put that in your mouth. “Besides, it’s late. Why were you baking?”

“I was making a treat for Silver, since he was studying. This little one just happened to walk in when the cookies were ready- they’re studying for the same quiz Silver is cramming for.” said Lilia, gesturing to you. “It seems Crewel is having his fun in stressing out the first years, fufu. What potion is he making you all make?”

“Oh, um, it’s… A minor memory loss draught. It’s got a lot of steps and ingredients, and it’s way too easy to mess up, so…” you said, a bit nervous. You felt… A little bit silly now, for stressing so much over it. Right now, you were surrounded by one of the strongest mages in the world- who was also the prince of the dark fae- and an ancient and wise fae who had probably fought in great wars and aided the Valley of Thorns royalty. To them, making a weak potion was probably as easy as blinking. 

“A memory loss draught… That does indeed have many steps to its preparation, if I’m not remembering wrong.” said Malleus. His words made you relax a little- you’d half been expecting some comment like a minor memory loss draught? That’s child’s play, why are you stressing out? or something. Your dorm leader was known to be a bit haughty at times. “You look exhausted. I assume you’ve been studying a lot?”

“Wait, I look tired…? Crap, is it showing in my face?” you said, cursing internally. You had a few friends in Pomefiore and you just knew they’d be fretting over you if your eyebags and exhaustion were so evident your dorm leader, who was not too good at picking up clues, could notice.

“I’m afraid so, my dear. You look like you’re ready to drop any second now- I know you’ve got a lot of work, but perhaps you’re pushing yourself too hard.” said Lilia. You grimaced; great, now you’d somehow managed to worry the two of them. It felt… Wrong to have two powerful and important beings even express concern over your wellbeing: you were just… Some puny human who got sorted into Diasomnia, you weren’t even particularly close to either of them. Hell, you’d only spoken to Malleus a couple of times before, for fuck’s sake.

“Hmm, Malleus, could it be that you still remember how to make that potion?” said Lilia, tilting his head. The taller fae nodded, making Lilia hum in understanding. “I see, I see. Well, (name), I’m sure you’d get an amazing grade if you were to study with Malleus. He’s quite good in potionmaking when he concentrates, I promise you. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt at all for him to get closer to his own dorm members now, would it?”

“That’s-!” you visibly stiffened, looking at Malleus. Sure, you weren’t as scared of him as some of the other students were, but…! You still couldn’t just treat him all willy-nilly like some random kid; he was one of the most powerful mages in the world and crown prince from the Valley of Thorns. The mere idea of dragging him off for a study session that benefitted only you made your gut twist. Although the idea was anxiety inducing, you couldn’t help but notice a spark of… Curiosity? In Malleus’ eyes, almost as if he was entertained by the idea of it all; still, you couldn’t just accept something like that.  “I couldn’t possibly-!”

“... or you could go study with Silver. I was going to go check up on him, so you could come with me.” said Lilia, perhaps sensing your panic. 

--- time to make a choice! vote in the poll linked below to choose how to advance in the story!

poll: https://www.strawpoll.me/20971117

[jiminrings]

coach! jungkook and y/n!!! jk being extra extra clingy

mvp: clingy

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

notes: aHHHHH coach!koo remains as i think my most popular piece and this is actually the first actual drabble he gets!! :D

read most valuable, the piece that started it all!!!

so you see

this isn’t a brag or anything pinky promise

but uh jungkook.,..

jungkook rARELY feels insecure ok

those two words don’t belong in the same sentence!!

THEY AREN’T EVEN IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH!!!

but god is he lying when he says he doesn’t feel the tiniest bit insecure with this mINgYu fellow

not to be that boyfriend but uhhh why don’t you laugh with him like THAT

:(((

“kook do you have someone in mind for a guest coach??”

jimin asks for the third time this week, looking mAjorly frustrated as he plops himself in the swivel chair

the dish was that y’know what!! it happens!! THIS happens!!!!

jimin’s been the longest assistant coach (and generally a coach) your team has ever had

he was practically there from the start!!!

whether he admits it or not, jimin’s a binding piece for you and the girls no matter what

then jungkook became head coach right

now the things was....

burnouts happen!! it’s normal!!!

it’s normal to LOSE your drive and passion for your sport as an athlete <3

the last season ended on a good note for sure because after all, you won the championships!!

not to mention that you were hailed mvp hee-hee :D

but then some months have passed

and the new season was supposed to start three months ago but of course it just had to be rESCHEDULED

it’s not necessarily an entirely bad thing

the extra time gave you more time to heal after your injury and your conditioning back to your prime is at top-notch!!

but it just can’t be helped

you and the girls??? your momentum??? aBSOLUTELY PUT-OFF

the training for next season just started last week and jimin and kook rEALLY prepared for this ok

there’s another reason to why kook is almost practically living at yours and jimin’s place nowadays lmao

... it just doesn’t work

it feels like every trick in both their books have been thoroughly used and it’s just not a challenge for you anymore

not to fLEX or anything but

basically the drills and the workouts just feel like warm-ups nowadays :D

and the warm-ups feel like a brisk walk in the park :D

that is both an insult and a compliment to jimin and jungkook because wOW!!! omg we instilled discipline and mastery to them <3

but at the same time it’s like you should nOT be giggling while i make you practice your pancake dives repeatedly

the two of them just need to BOOST everyone’s morale!!!

“actually, i finally found someone!! just thought of it last night but i didn’t wanna knock on your door because jupiter was in the living room and he thought i was an intruder aGAIN”

lol

sometimes jimin can’t wrap his head around that he sees jungkook perhaps almost ALL the damn time

he wakes up disoriented and he sees you on the couch with a bowl of cereal and look!!! my best friend slash roomie already made me breakfast :D

then he plops to the couch and there is this bEEFY entity lying on it covered with a blanket and???? jungkook???? what are yOU doing here

then jimin’s taking a spoonful of his cereal while he’s thinking because uH are the two of you screwing???

“hyung that’s my cereal”

“i put yours in the refrigerator jiminie!! i know how you like it cold!!”

aH and then it hits him

oh right the two of you are a couple now and jungkook just likes crashing and sleeping over at his apartment with you

when his oWN place is not even thirty minutes away wtf

<3 anyways get out of my way jungkook that’s MY spot on MY couch <3

jimin perks up at that because god fuck finally!!! he needs to make calls immediately

“well? who is it??”

jungkook pauses for a dramatic effect before he claps his hands, also eager to start this mini workshop of sorts for a week to boost team spirit

“mingyu!!!! he was my teammate from my former team and well there’s no rival conflict or anything like that!! perfect score!!!!”

that’s-

hmmmmmm

“y’talking about kim mingyu? tall guy, slicked hair, jumps high??”

“you know him??”

jungkook squints to himself because after all that was a little bit of a sTOOPID question

their games were televised and jimin’s a coach how could he nOT expect that

“yeah, yeah. he was my junior in high school and we were kinda friends i guess...”

there’s something in jimin’s tone and jungkook tries to dig in to that because well he thOught his hyung would be a bit more excited

jimin knows that kook could hear the cringe in his voice and it makes him scratch at the back of his head

“ah, you should probably keep y/n away. mingyu... well he was pretty mUCH notorious for stealing everyone’s girlfriends and opportunities from people and such.,.,..”

he still has a bit of resentment for mingyu ok

he was a fucking vULTURE

whatever he did first or whatever he wanted, mingyu would do and pursue the exact same

and jimin was definitely irked because people were hailing mingyu as the cool guy or sth for the things that he was copying off of jIMIN!!!!

they weren’t just coincidences!!!

they say imitiation is the best form of flattery but fuck that jimin is NOT flattered

“aish c’mon, jimin. you uNDERESTIMATE me!!! y/n only has eyes for me, silly!! :D”

aha

aHA

jungkook may have been too confident this time

he knows you still LOVE him!!!! right??

pls say right

there’s this wrenching feeling in the pit of his stomach when he sees you and mingyu doing one-on-one drills as he goes through you all

it was just a simple rally!!! a back-and-forth of the volleyball!! nOTHING major right??

wrong

jungkook could only focus to how focused YOU look

and to how at one point mingyu gave you a tricky throw back and you still managed to give it back to him and how you gIGGLED!!!!

g i g g l e d

then you gave a tricky throw back to mingyu and passed it back and this time he laughed and you cACKLED!!!!

oh my god why is jungkook feeling this way

jimin’s standing beside him and he could hear these little growls from jungkook???

like it’s not exactly gROWLING but it sounds like it

it’s a hybrid between a light snore and a growl and with how jungkook has his eyebrows knitted he is definitely nOt sleepy that’s fo sure

ugh are the two of you fighting again???

does jimin need to give jungkook a wake-up call again or-

wait

hold on

OH

hE KNOWS WHAT’S HAPPENING

the jeon jungkook is inTIMIDATED by mingyu!!!!

wow

he’s never thought that a day like this would come in which jungkook isn’t knocked down a couple of pegs bUT HERE IT IS :D

in your opinion this is GREAT for the team morale!!! coach mingyu was just a breath of fresh air for a guest coach and u are enjoying it

he’s given the team new insights and it helped break the collective burn-out!!

kook just feels insecure ok

and threatened

which is why the moment jimin called for a ten-minute break, jungkook immediately sITS you down

“hi hi okay whAt are you doing???”

you’re endeared but you’re taken aback because jungkook’s immediately hovering above you, swiping and patting down the sweat from your forehead

“i’m taking care of you, silly!! :D”

that’s nice, maybe???

you don’t wanna think much of it hehe jungkook’s just being a caring boyfriend u guess

although he’s never done this before ur gonna admit and you’re stILL dumbfounded

he’s going all-out

even getting a cold towel to put around your nape to help you cool down fetched you a sports drink aLLLLL by himself

he’s even gonna lift up your shirt and wipe down your boob sweat himself and tHEN you stop him

“koo baby i can do that by myself y’know!!!”

although it looks like jungkook doesn’t get why you dON’T want him to take care of you????

doesn’t waver though :D

just lifts your shirt in the slightest bit and shoves a towel to your sports bra and there he goes

“want a snack?? ah, want me to order pizza?? nO?? okay fine i’ll order oNE extra box just for you and me and i gUESS jimin if you want!!!”

it’s a spitfire of questions and you can’t even answer because jungkook’s already hopping on his merry way!!!

not before he presses a fat kiss to your cheek and exaggerates the mWAH sound

aha maybe he’s just being extra loving today

... maybe

“what do you want for dinner??”

“oh i was just thinking what about if we just order-“

“baby wHY do we need to order when your boyfriend is perfectly capable in making you dinner!!!”

ok then

????

something may be wrong with jungkook

it’s just not in his nature to take care of you this attentively

he takes care of you of course but not to the point that you don’t even have to move a single inch because he wants to do eVERYTHING

“jimin??”

you immediately call out when jungkook’s out from the apartment because he said that he’d be out in a flash to get some things from the convenience store because he’s gonna make some dAMN cocktails in his own words

“yeah???”

jimin’s showering atm and that doesn’t stop you from conversing by pressing yourself to the door

“did we lose a sponsor for the team or something????”

“no....? i even received another offer just awhile ago!!! what are you on about??”

oh really?? that’s nICE!!

but that isn’t really your point and you quickly recover before you get sidetracked

“huh?? nothing, minnie!! jungkook just feels a little... off,.,..”

jimin stops lathering his body wash on his loofah then because oh my god he thought he was the only one!!!

you asking basically confirms that jungkook being weird has nOTHING to do with you and his previous theory is 100% correct

you aren’t that bothered with jungkook being affectionate with you!!!

in fact you like it because wow.,.. love.,.. love that for me :D

but uh

this degree tho

“jungkook you are very uHh attached to me, aren’t you??”

here’s a list to how he’s been extra extra cLINGY to you

you were watching 50 first dates because it was the first thing that popped up when you opened the tv then the scene of the waffle house came on and you cOOED

and jungkook immediately jumped into action

by action that meant him literally DIVING to the other end of the couch where you were lying down and cuddled you

“i’m making you that tomorrow for breakfast!!!!”

you were a little sappy after that and it ended late and you just wanted to wash up before bed because there was still training tomorrow

nonetheless you were gonna wake up the next day because your boyfriend IS the head coach and ur roommate IS the assistant coach so u don’t really have a choice

might as well wrap up the night early

you had to wriggle yourself out of jungkook’s death grip to go to the bathroom and when he finally got his bearings???

you’re brushing your teeth :D

then jungkook’s just sat at the closed toilet seat :D looking at you :D

“wow... look at you.... ur so cute brushing your teeth”

“shwshshshw thwank you??”

it didn’t stop there however

of course you cuddled!! jungkook even takes his shirt off for it because in the middle of the night he could randomly get hot and fussy

this time jungkook was the bIG spoon

it’s no surprise that he likes being babied at times hee-hee but wOw so this was the feeling of warmth!!! of being wrapped around by a furnace!!!! it’s nice!!!

the next days however.,.,.

it was getting a little overboard

every single time he had the opportunity to, he would nuzzle his head to your neck and cling onto you until you tAP out

doesn’t care if mingyu sees him chasing you around with a towel on one hand and ice water on the other :D

of course why would he care :D

after all he iS the boyfriend and mingyu isn’t :D

when you bring down one hand as you just let the other scroll down your phone??

hOLD !!! IN TER TWINE !!! I MUST HOLD

you scratch that part of your scalp that randomly gets itchy when you are incapable of itching it???

kook drops everything he’s doing to scratch at your hair and even presses kisses to your hairline!!

even in sleep he was aTTACHED!!!

kinda like how he’s a koala and u are the only branch left in the world for him to cling on

he has his leg trapping you down and his arm on your middle and you’re just about to maneuver yourself so it would be cOmfy

but then kook takes that as a signal that he was still too loose so he cuddles up even MORE

you’re just about to grunt but then you look over to jungkook and-

!!!!

HE’S AWAKE

you immediately squeak and jungkook shuts his eyes sO quick and so hard that it becomes even more obvious that he’s awake

his eyeballs are trembling underneath his eyelids lmao

even his lip is twitching and his breathing isn’t as relaxed if he were ACTUALLY sleeping

“wanna tell me about it??”

...

“... no i’m asleep”

“want me to talk until you fall asleep??”

“yes pls i’m asleep anyway”

jungkook is even cuter this way :((

when he is beyond oblivious that he’s adorable by just being like himself basically

“training was great today!! i don’t know if you saw, but mingyu and i had a contest awhile ago to see who jumps up higher!! so mingyu-...”

jungkook oPENS his eyes at that only for them to twitch

all he hears is mingyu mingyu mingyu and frankly it’s iRRITATING

he reacts exactly when you mention the guest coach’s name and it makes you halt

“hmmm so it iS about him, huh?? jimin was right,” you mumble underneath your breath but he hears you nonetheless and it makes him huff

jungkook completely detaches and turns away from you in an instant as if he’s throwing a tantrum that makes you reach out for him more

“is that why you’ve been clinging onto me??”

he can’t lie he’s extremely sOFT the moment you try and wrap your arms around his huffing figure

“figured that if i’m attached to you by the hip, then you’d only think of me and nOt him”

he’s kind of ashamed as he admits because he feels like he’s being childish with his feelings

he’s not so used to being vulnerable and it makes him uHhHh vulnerable????

he doesn’t like it

“i don’t like mingyu, koo.”

he feels you pressing a tender kiss to his cheek that makes them squish

he hAS to have a stronger resolve than this

“then stOp mentioning his name!!”

he was tHREATENED that’s for sure

he doesn’t need to say that aloud because god what for <3 he’s already suffering he doesn’t wanna speAk

“you do know that you’re my oNLY best boy, hmm??”

buttering up jungkook could be a little tricky

but you seem to hit the notch just pERFECTly this time because he’s basically putty

“yeah? i don’t really know about that”

he’s a wHORE for affection!!! that much he’s realized halfway through the week of being attached to you

you seem to be also forgetting that jungkook’s shirtless and he’s taking his comforter down, a cheeky smile gracing him that you snOrt as soon as it registers in your mind

:D

“remind me?”

[bbrandy2002]

Fools Rush In

Part 1

I am participating in @wackydrabbles prompts: “I don’t plan to stop”

A/N: In this, MC does not exist in Liam’s social season. OC Riley lives in Las Vegas.

A/N/N: This series is crazy lol

Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine -- his pick during the social season -- the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunken night, he finds himself with more than he bargained for.

Book: The Royal Romance

Word Count: 1152

Inspired by Carrie Underwoods song, ‘Last name’

Perma tags: @emceesynonymroll​ @romanticatheart-posts​ @burnsoslow​ @dcbbw​ @ao719​ @jessiembruno​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @texaskitten30​ @janezillow​ @merridithsmiscellany-blog​ @mskaneko​ @loveellamae​ @queenjilian​ @sirbeepsalot​ @pedudley​ @caroldxnvxrs​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @desireepow-1986​ @bebepac​ @kingliam2019​ @lovablegranny​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @amandablink​ @blueaster-blog1​ @liamsx-world

-----------------

High above the Las Vegas strip, on the rooftop lounge of the Rio Hotel and Casino, the Voodoo Nightclub was rife with energy and spirited chatter. Covered overhead by only a cluster of twinkling stars, the patio's dancefloor was packed with rhythmic freestyling movements to the DJ's techno beats. A large crowd gathered around the flair bartenders who wowed with their acrobatic-like tossing of bottles and shakers. Nightlifers admired the vast cityscape of flashing neon and rolling gold letters from fifty-one stories below. 

It was noisy and upbeat. 

It was full of gigantic cocktails and mixers. 

And on this warm spring night, surrounded by loud music and drunken tourists, Liam sat at a table alone, wondering how the hell he got abandoned at his own bachelor party.

Well, he wasn't completely alone, the ringleader of this little shindig was at the bar drinking shots out of the bellybuttons of some randos while dressed as Elvis.

He could almost kick his brother's ass for getting him into this position. He was the spare. This was supposed to be Leo's problem; he was born and bred for this position. Now Liam was stuck unhappily engaged to be married to his brother's former fiance in two weeks, who coincidentally was also his step-cousin. I'm the white trash King of Cordonia, he mused, that's what they'll call me.

The second in command: his best friend, Drake, took off 30 minutes ago to spend some of his big winnings on the boulevard while bitching about ending his dry spell.

And the last time he saw Maxwell, the youngest Beaumont was trying to show off a dance move on the balcony's railing. One of the cage dancers assured the mesmerized crowd he landed safely on cloth awning a few stories below.

At least the lovely couple having sex behind him briefly engaged in conversation, even if it was only to ask him to be their lookout. 

He had nothing better to do and liked the concoction Leo ordered him, so why not. Viva Las Vegas!

While he sipped the rum and fruit-flavored cocktail and tried not to choke on his straw from the couple behind him repeatedly banging into his chair, he looked up to see a young woman approaching him.

"Jax?" She flashed a hopeful smile at Liam.

Liam shook his head, trying not to get lost in her beautiful smile and scintillating brown eyes that reflected the clubs flashing neon like glass. "Uh, no. It's Liam." I wish I were Jax.

Her smile faded. "Oh! Well, shit. I'm sorry. He was supposed to meet me here 20 minutes ago, and you resemble his tinder profile pic."

Do I pretend to know what the hell that is? He nodded with an awkward chuckle. "Good old Tinder."

She unlocked her phone and held it out to him. Liam studied the picture of the man who did look a lot like him. He read the bio aloud: "Jax, 28. I always keep a loaded gun beside my bed in the event of intruders so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people." He grimaced with wry amusement before glancing back to her. "I think we know what happened to Jax."

"Damn." She slumped her shoulders in disappointment until she noticed the activity taking place at the table behind Liam. She stooped down with a slight smirk and leaned into his ear. "I hate to tell you this, but there are people having sex behind you."

Liam scratched the tip of his nose. "Yeah, I know. I'm their lookout. And I don't plan to stop until those two lovebirds are finished."

The woman winced and scrunched her brows. "Really?"

"Noooo," Liam whined. "Get me the hell out of here," he pleaded.

She laughed and grasped onto his wrist. "Come on, Liam. We can sit at the bar together if you'd like."

He looked down at her tiny hand wrapped around his wrist; it was so soft and warm. He smiled up at her. "I'd like that a lot, Miss ..."

"Brooks. Riley Brooks."

Liam rose from his chair, knowing he probably shouldn't go with her. Riley was pretty and sweet, and he was already two sheets to the wind. He couldn't help himself, though; there was something about her.

They took their seats at the bar and ordered a Witch Doctor to share. When the bartender set the massive cocktail in front of them, Riley took a sip from her straw and turned to Liam. "So, what's a good looking guy like yourself doing here alone?"

Liam twisted his straw between his forefinger and thumb, not wanting to discuss his complicated situation, but he was never one to lie. "It's... um ... my bachelor party." 

"Ohhh! I see." Riley scooted away and, with a half-hearted smile, said, "I guess congratulations are in order."

Liam scoffed. "If you knew the whole story, you might not congratulate me so quickly."

"Is she that bad? Surely there's something good about her."

He took a long sip of his drink, then looked at her with a deadpan stare. "Not one."

Riley chuckled. "Do I even wanna know why you're marrying her then?

"Probably not," he quipped.

Liam told her how his friends threw him the bachelor party as one last big hoorah to his freedom and then ditched him for their own pursuits. And how he really wanted to see the Statue of Liberty at the New York New York Hotel, but it wasn't in the guy's plans.

Feeling bad for her new friend, Riley offered to make his dream a reality. After finishing their drink and downing a few Jager bombs, the two of them staggered out.

Liam and Riley swayed down the bustling sidewalk, holding onto one another for balance and cackling the whole way.

"Liam!" Riley animately pointed. "Look! There it is."

Liam lifted his heavy head, and his droopy eyelids widened when he gazed up at the 150-foot replica of Lady Liberty. "Whoa … She... Is … Magnificent." He stood at attention and saluted. "Here's to freedom and … other cool shit," he slurred.

Riley lowered her head and placed a hand over her heart. "God bless America."

Liam shook his head in agreement. "Yes. Yes. Just ... bless the hell out of it. And you know what? The rollercoaster makes it even more ... bitchin."

Riley grabbed his upper arm and shook it hard with excitement. "We gotta ride it, Liam!"

He smirked. "Try to stop me!"

After riding the coaster, both laughed through nausea as they stepped off. 

"Ahhh, that was so much fun! We should go again!" Riley shrieked while hovered over a trash bin.

Liam thought about it until he caught sight of a couple coming out of a wedding chapel across the street.

Liam swung his arm over her shoulder with a grin. “You know what else would be fun?”

Riley giggled. “What?”

“Getting married.”

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]