#and live many thousands of miles away
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itssideria · 10 months ago
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Sorry to bring politics into your inbox but genuinely please do not vote red. If you don’t vote then sure!! Why not. Please do consider voting blue though because I promise you that biden’s shit, yes, and the usa’s voting system with basically only two parties is also shit but trump will be worse. Republicans will be worse. There’s been a plan for taking away queer (especially trans people) rights and Biden is supporting genocide in Palestine and the republicans will be even worse about it. Just because there’s shit things happening doesn’t mean one needs to, like, make things worse where they are.
alright, anon. i took some time after reading your ask so i wouldn't immediately respond in anger or reaction. remember that. i am actively taking the effort to be empathetic and kind and civil.
i want you to reread what you've sent me. what you, presumably an american who is not affiliated with palestine/the middle east, has sent to me, an egyptian who grew up with syrians and iraqis and palestinians and iranians who have the devastation of their homelands immortalised in their history, in their blood. whose homelands were devastated at the insistence of your nation. whose homelands are being devastated right fucking now, gleefully, skillfully, at the hands of that disgusting coloniser you insist deserves a second chance.
i want you to think about it. i want you to fucking think about it. i want you to imagine your home, decimated. your school or university, flattened. your future, crushed. your family, slaughtered. there are no trees or flowers left. there is nothing to farm. the air is thick with dust and it settles on your face and it itches so fucking bad and you don't have any water to wash it off. i want you to think, anon.
and i want to ask you, genuinely, no double-meaning: this is really all you have to say to my anger? i'm not palestinian. what if i was, though? would you have said this to the palestinians i've grown up with and known? would this really be all you have to say?
it's always the "republicans will be worse" with you lot. biden has killed thirty thousand people. that is not me being sensational. he used your taxes to send those bombs. he bypassed lawmakers to do it. he broke your sacred fucking constitution to bomb the only country doing anything to protect the dead. he flouts your laws, your congress, your people. he ignores the 70% majority that wants a ceasefire. he does nothing when reproductive rights are taken. he stands by as several states pass anti-lgbt bills. he actively signs for a project that will make global warming worse for us all.
what do you even have left to protect?
i never once advocated for trump. as far as i'm concerned, trump can choke. i don't know what the solution is with your country. i don't know how to respond to you in any way that doesn't devolve into me screaming the vilest insults i can come up with, because i am so tired of americans and i am so tired of white americans and i am so tired of white queer americans who don't even have the shame to cast their pro-genocider vote in silence. at least back home, we take the action, even if it does nothing, even if it's only symbolic.
do what you want. there are no good options, and it's not like i can stop you. just stop pretending any of it is moral. stop pretending that you're advocating for something that isn't inherently sick. if biden wins, that's the signal that genocide is a-ok with you all. if biden wins, i only hope your country takes it willingly when the rest of the global south never wants to have anything to do with it ever again.
my only faith is in Allah, now.
please think before you send your asks.
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iniziare · 5 months ago
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#guizhong. [ many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow. ]#guizhong: ic. [ wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains. ]#guizhong: countenance. [ and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand. ]#guizhong: introspection. [ although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other. ]#guizhong: meta. [ her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been. ]#guizhong: little notes. [ she always sought to make everyone happy and one must say: she had quite the gift for it. ]#guizhong: wishes. [ it took a treasure hunt just to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization. ]#guizhong: etc. [ we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different?#guizhong: mortals. [ at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them. ]#guizhong: guili plains. [ as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.” ]#guizhong: liyue. [ perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become. ]#guizhong: realm of clouds. [ a voyage to a sanguine sky. ]#guizhong: mechanical arts. [ in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts. ]#guizhong: glaze lilies. [ they were far more abundant back then. the entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers. ]#guizhong: adepti. [ until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end. ]#guizhong: morax. [ whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed. ]#guizhong: guili. [ with shortness of breath; i will explain the infinite. and how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist. ] delusiona#guizhong: marchosius. [ who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight: we would all drop any argument. ]#guizhong: streetward rambler. [ it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away. ]#guizhong: cloud retainer. [ we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other. ]#guizhong: skybracer. [ to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. they thought higher of him than they thought of the lord of geo.#guizhong: osial. [ she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing along to the harmony of water. was this his song? ]#guizhong: sea gazer. [ he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off. ]#guizhong: ganyu. [ if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies? ]#guizhong: v. descension. [ she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around. ]#guizhong: v. guili assembly. [ it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains. ]#guizhong: v. archon war. [ they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered. ]#guizhong: v. present. [ all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it. ]#guizhong: inquiries. [ hmph. she always had a way with words. ]
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lesbiansanemi · 6 months ago
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I don’t often think I’m upset at not having a good relationship with my parents but sometimes it really fucking hits me that I don’t have a good mom I don’t have a dad I’ll never experience having a good parent and someone I can lean on like that and I get… really upset
#I have this coworker who is about my mom’s age#I love her and she’s a wonderful person and she’s such a good parent to her kids#her autistic queer kids and she fights for them and defends them all the time#she values their interests and does things they love with them and supports their choices and jusy#ugh#today she gave me a hug because ‘it’s really seemed like I wasn’t doing okay’#and ‘I’ve been dealing with a lot of hard things and big life changes which she knows is really hard’#and I kinda teared up#my own parents don’t even know about everything that has happened with my roommate or the friends I’ve lost this year#I don’t tell them. and I could but it wouldn’t matter#my mother wouldn’t care. she definitely wouldn’t sympathize or give me a hug over it#she wouldn’t comfort me#my dad my try but he lives thousands of miles away#and I love my dad but I didn’t get to know him until I was 17#I don’t think he’s really like… a dad you know?#he’s more like some weird friend or MAYBE an uncle than anything#which is fine! I think it’s really the best we can do and like I said I do love him and I know he loves me#but it’s still… different than a parent you know?#and sometimes I just ache knowing I don’t get parents…#I don’t get that relationship that so many ppl have that’s so important to them#and it just doesn’t feel fair and makes me feel really sad#I’m glad I’m as independent as I am but even that doesn’t feel fair#I’ve lived on my own since I was 17…. I never should have had to do that anyways….#and I just feel sad because I got a hug from my coworker that made me want to sob#because it’s like damn… is this a teeny tiny taste of what having an actual good mom is like?#I missed out on so much….#kaz rambles
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boochanz · 11 months ago
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the fact that so many peoples first response to seeing all these palestinian children orphaned is not ‘wow we should really do something to ensure these children live in a world where they don’t have to fear waking up to a bomb being dropped on their parents heads’ and instead is ��oh em gee how can i adopt these children whose culture i have 0 knowledge of whatsoever and bring them to my homeland thousands of miles away, thereby thrusting them into another deeply traumatizing situation’ is actually kind of wild to me.
please be so serious …. they don’t want you adopting their children. you guys do realize that arabs have a deep sense of family and community right… even with 0 family members left there are still so many people who will step in and make sure those children are looked after. those kids don’t need rescuing from their homeland, they need their homeland to be safe so they can have yknow, a chance at life. they don’t need new families, they need for their families to not be murdered in the dead of the night. why don’t we work on that instead and drop the savior mindset please????? to do nothing towards the cause of palestinian freedom but offer to adopt their children is nuts.
ps. it would benefit a lot of people to do basic research and realize that the process of adoption into a lot of western countries serves to completely erase the identity of the child and also is not in line with the principles / general process of adoption in islam (which is the religion of a fair majority of these kids). ‘offering’ to take them from all they know is disrespectful enough without the consideration that in doing so you would completely be overstepping multiple rules and processes of their religion and culture.
none of us want any more kids to die but ‘save the children’ doesn’t mean the solution is to let anna from florida have them. it means the solution is to make sure they have a future where apartment buildings don’t fall over their heads while they sleep.
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atavist · 3 months ago
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Layan Albaz is one of thousands of Palestinian children who had lost limbs in Israeli air strikes since October 7—and one of the very few evacuated to the U.S. for medical care. 
The new Atavist story, COMING TO AMERICA, is now live, and also available in Arabic:
The average U.S. public school has about 550 students. Imagine eight or nine schools in an area roughly the size of Philadelphia where every kid is missing at least one limb. Imagine also that their amputations happened alongside a torrent of other tragedies: the loss of family members, friends, neighbors, schools, houses.
Now imagine that the only hope to reclaim some semblance of physical normalcy required those children to leave home. Gaza’s sole manufacturer of prosthetics and its affiliated rehabilitation center were destroyed in an air strike months ago; as a result, many families of children who have lost limbs are trying to evacuate them so they can receive medical care abroad. Social media is brimming with their desperate pleas, and only a few get what amounts to a lucky ticket for the mortally unlucky: Countries willing to take pediatric amputees from Gaza are doing so in relatively small numbers.
The kids who do find a way out board planes for distant places. In Layan’s case, that place was more than 6,000 miles away from everything and everyone she knew.
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moonstruckme · 11 days ago
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vampire!james is such a fun concept!
what about if reader was a newly turned vampire too and James lets her feed on him
like the scene with elena feeding on damon in TVD?
because blood sharing is intimate :P
Hi lovely! I don’t really remember what this was like in TVD because I last watched that show probably 10 years ago and I don’t think I finished it but hopefully this is along the lines of what you were thinking, thank you for requesting <3
cw: blood, feels mature at times but no smut (vampires are just hot idk)
vampire!James x fledgling!reader ♡ 1k words
James hates seeing you like this. He remembers what it feels like—being aware for the first time of every nerve ending in your body, your mind whirring at a thousand miles a minute, everything worse and louder and so much more than it had felt when you were human. 
He’d warned you the transition would be like this, but you’d wanted it anyway. You keep trying to act like you’re alright even now, trembling from head to toe in the corner of the bed, eyes darting towards every sound and movement like your body thinks you’re under attack. The three bags of blood you’d gotten from the butcher lie empty on the floor. Normally James only needs one every few days, but this is one thing he’d forgotten about the transition, he supposes. The hunger is intense. He won’t be able to get you more for at least a few hours.
“Sweetheart,” James says softly. You still flinch as though he’s shouted. “You should try to go to sleep. It’ll help with the cravings.”
“I don’t think I can.” Your lisp is sort of cute. You haven’t been able to retract your fangs yet, have pricked your own lip more than once. “I can hear so many hearts. They’re loud.” 
James nods. He’s learned to tune them out, like the hum of electricity or the rush of wind outside, but he knows what you mean. If he focuses, he can listen to the beating heart of the bird nesting in the tree by your window, the neighbor’s cat, the woman who lives at the end of your street. Sometimes they seem synchronized together, the unceasing, steady beat of life in the world. It gets louder when he’s starving. 
“The butcher won’t be open until morning,” he tells you, though you know already. You nod, wrapping your arms around your legs. “But I can try to help, if you want. You could try feeding from me.” 
It’s an idea James has been toying with since you said you wanted to turn. He doesn’t think you could survive off each other forever—he’s not sure if he still makes new blood, if his body works that way anymore—but he doesn’t have need for his blood the way a human does. Maybe he could sate you for a bit. 
You give him a look of wary surprise, but James knows how you feel well enough to recognize the hope behind it. Any chance of feeding will sound good to you right now. 
“Can we do that?” you ask. 
“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “But I don’t think it’ll hurt to try. Might taste a bit stale, though.” 
It’s a lame joke, and you don’t laugh. Your trembling worsens, your restraint barely holding out against your cravings. Your voice is small. “I don’t know if I can be gentle. I feel…weird.” 
James offers you a smile. “I know, honey. It’s okay. Can I touch you?” 
You nod. James is careful about it, not wanting to overstimulate your sensitive nerves. He takes your hands in his, slowly guiding you onto his lap. 
“You’re alright,” he promises. “Let me help.” 
Your brows crease, and your lip starts bleeding again when you prick it with your fang. James gently thumbs the droplet away. “I don’t want to hurt you,” you whisper, scared. 
“I’ll be fine.” He looks you in the eyes, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks calmingly. “You did it for me, right? That wasn’t so bad. Just…” James palms the back of your head, bringing it to the crook of his neck like an embrace. “Take what you need.” 
James doesn’t have a heartbeat for you to hear, but that doesn’t matter; once you’re close you can’t restrain yourself anymore. You bite into his neck eagerly. 
It feels like you described. Part of James worried that you were stretching the truth, trying to make him feel better, but the places where your mouth connects to his skin are suddenly the center of James’ universe. He can feel his blood rushing to meet you, to sate you, fill you up and be everything you need. Your low moan vibrates against his skin, and James laughs, dizzy and drunk on you. 
One of your hands fists in his hair, pulling his head further to the side. He bears his neck to you readily. He hopes you glut yourself on him, stay here with him, keep your mouth suctioned to his skin until you both die whatever deaths immortals can. 
He feels a bead of wet roll down his chest. You make a soft, thoughtless sound in the back of your throat, leaving his neck to chase it. Your tongue licks a stripe up James’ left pectoral. 
He blinks slowly as you wipe your mouth, breathing hard. It feels like waking up from a dream. You have blood smeared around your mouth and nearly dripping from your chin. You look embarrassed as you catch it with your fingers and lick them clean. 
“Sorry,” you say. 
“It’s okay.” James smiles at you. He still feels slightly doped up, but it’s also sweet to see you like this, pupils still blown from the taste of him and shy about it at the same time. “You were right, that was nice.” 
One side of your mouth tilts up tentatively. “I didn’t hurt you? You were so controlled when you fed from me.” 
“That’s not your fault, honey, you can’t be controlled this early on.” James kisses you, pleased to find your fangs are starting to retract. “It’s not possible. But no, it didn’t hurt.” 
Your smile blooms with relief. “You didn’t taste stale,” you reassure him. “You sort of tasted like yourself, if that makes sense.” 
He nods. You’d tasted like yourself, too, all sticky sweet and addicting. 
You let your breath out in a whoosh, sagging in his hold. “I’m…god, how do you manage to walk home after this? I’m so tired.” 
“It gets easier with time,” James reassures you. He pets the back of your head, turning you both around so his back rests against the headboard of your bed. “You can sleep, though. We’ll clean you up tomorrow.” 
There are no arguments from you. You’re fading fast, head falling naturally back into the curve of his neck. 
“Sorry,” you mumble, “I wasn’t as nice about it as you were with me.” 
“Sure you were, sweetheart. You’re always nice, I don’t think you can help it.” 
“Yeah, well.” You turn your head slightly to mush a kiss over the puncture marks you’ve left him. “Thanks.” 
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trollprincess · 30 days ago
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So I have a friend from high school who is a cop. (Yes, I KNOW.) I shared a photo on Facebook of a packed highway of people attempting to evacuate from Hurricane Milton, all while the lanes going in the opposite direction were open and empty. And my Facebook post was basically me screaming, “Open the other side of the highway and reverse it so that people can GET OUT.”
His response was essentially, “Yeah, that is *really* difficult for us to do.” Not in a condescending way, because he genuinely isn’t a huge asshole. (Yes, I KNOW.)
And then I may have vented in my response, in which I tried not to imply that the police were a problem. Because to be honest, I don’t see this as a police problem. I see this as how we have fucked ourselves as a nation by making ourselves so dependent on cars.
There is that poll on this site – or multiple polls, at this point – asking how long people can tolerate being in their cars. And the thing is, Americans (and Canadians as well, I am imagining) have almost no other options. We have to be used to spending a good 12 hours in a car without breaking a sweat. Everything in this country is built around being in a car. There’s a reason when you ask us how far away a place is from somewhere else, we normally give that distance in hours and not miles.
Air travel sucks. It sucks for a multitude of reasons – cost, the hassle of dealing with security, the time suck, etc. – and in an emergency, only a select few are going to be able to use it to get away from a hurricane. And that’s one of the few disasters where air travel is an optional escape.
Train travel sucks. Amtrak is not something you’re gonna be complaining about if you’re trying to get away from whatever disaster you need to evacuate from. But next to so many other countries, Amtrak looks like we’ve been receiving other countries’s leftover railway systems from the 70s. It also doesn’t go everywhere. I live in northeastern Pennsylvania near Scranton, which prides itself on its history in the train industry. We have a museum and everything. We have multiple things named after that museum, including the Steamtown marathon which is happening tomorrow.
Can you get on a passenger train in Scranton? Nope.
(The main argument against this always seems to be that people will come here from New York City and commit crimes, which is hilarious considering if somebody wanted to come here from New York City and commit crimes it’s only a 2.5-hour drive.)
Anyway, disasters.
If the only option you’re gonna give most people to get out of areas of Florida that are being targeted by hurricanes or areas of California that suffer from wildfires or places in the Midwest that face flooding are cars, then we need a better fucking emergency management system regarding transportation in this country. You can’t just sit there and mock people for not evacuating because they can’t or won’t when getting away from Milton meant sitting on highway for hours with absolutely no gas stations whatsoever nearby having any gas at all. (It just makes me think of those photos of people stranded on the highway in their cars in blizzards where people are like, “Now imagine imagine how bad it would be if all of those cars were electric!“ Well, all of those cars in that photo in that blizzard run on gas and they’re fucking stranded, sooooooo.)
Look, we can change the transportation system in this country. we did it before and we can do it again. We used to have more train options, fewer highways. My small hometown had a fucking trolley in the 40s. Now, if you don’t have a car here, you’re stuck. You can’t even get Uber here. if a wildfire started here and surrounded the town, it would be a clusterfuck.
Regardless of how you feel about the police, if police and fire departments in this country cannot organize an evacuation on a highway in a way that will reduce the backup so that tens of thousands of people aren’t sitting in their cars when a hurricane hits, that’s a problem – not just for those people, but for the police, and the fire department, and emergency management in general.
The people in charge of emergency management are just people, just human. I’m researching the Camp Fire in 2018 right now, and you had a bunch of people calling 911 saying, “I can see a huge fire off to the east. Are we safe? Should we evacuate?” The 911 operators could only work off the information they had. They could have told people to evacuate earlier, but Cal Fire didn’t anticipate the strength of the fire. Which is understandable. Nobody could anticipate the strength of that fire. But the 911 operators were sitting in an office with no windows, and they had no idea what was going on the east. They couldn’t look out and see exactly what was happening. If they could have, they probably would have told people to leave as soon as possible much sooner than they were told to. Instead, they waited for official confirmation, and when they did start telling people to evacuate, traffic managed to back up in a small town of 25,000 people until many of them were trapped in an unimaginable hellscape.
When people need to evacuate from a disaster, and they stay instead, far too many people - including those in positions of power – just kind of wave their hands and say, “Well, we tried.” No, we didn’t. This country made not trying its watchword, and now we’re at a point where unless you own a car, which is a luxury a lot of people cannot afford in this economy, escaping from disaster is impossible. So you can get in your car or somebody else’s car and go sit on a highway and hope your gas doesn’t run out, since none of the gas stations for 100 miles have any gas to give you, or you can stay in your house and hope you don’t die.
Sometimes, I really wish somebody would make me the head of the department of transportation. I would demand an absurd amount of money to build a better train system, to provide better transportation options for smaller towns, to provide extensive training for rescue personnel in managing evacuations like the clusterfuck in Florida this week. I would become an absolute fucking nuisance to Congress. I would be asking for money left and right to make it so that our only options as Americans weren’t to get into cars we can barely afford these days and attempt to organize our own evacuations from the growing number of natural disasters in this country.
Y’all keep posting these polls about how long you can tolerate being in a car at the same time that tens of thousands of Floridians were sitting on highways trying to get away from Tampa so they wouldn’t die in a hurricane.
We can tolerate being in a car all goddamn day. It’s because we don’t have a fucking choice, even when it’s life or death.
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plushipaws · 1 year ago
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“Dragon, I am not sure that I am a prince.”
“Of course not, you are my beloved pet.” “No, I mean… gender-wise.”
“Oh. Are you a princess?”
“No, I don’t think so.” “Alright, dear. Then, what are you?” “I think- well I’m not sure I am allowed.”
“You can be anything you want to be, my darling.”
“Well- and please don’t laugh- I think I’d like to be a dragon. … Like you.”
The dragon purred and wrapped its long neck around the smaller being and nuzzled its nose on their head. “Then a dragon you are, my love.”
“But I’m worried I’m not qualified to be a dragon. I don’t have scales or wings.”
“Dragons come in all sorts of kinds. Many are scaleless or wingless.”
“And I’m rather small and weak for a dragon…” They sighed. “I mean, I am already fairly small and weak for a human.”
The dragon studied the being who was now a smaller dragon for a long time before speaking rather gently. “I am rather small and weak for a dragon too you know… It is something I never told you, and you couldn’t know because you have none other to compare me to.” “What? But you’re so big and strong! You fly ten miles a day to hunt for us and you defend me from nosey knights who try to ‘rescue’ me!”
The dragon nodded. “Yes, but other dragons can fly for a thousand miles a day and hunt for an army, and they could fight off an army too. After fighting a single knight I become quite tired… This is why I live alone in this cave, away from other dragons. They harass me for my weakness, and try to push me to do more… they say what I am is not enough.” With this, the dragon lowered it’s head, seeming to feel ashamed. 
The smaller, human shaped dragon kissed the larger one on the snout. “Well, you are certainly enough for me. You might not be able to fight or feed an army, but your hunts keep us both full and your claws keep us both safe. And I always look forward to curling up under your wings at the end of the day. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” They frowned, their brow furrowing. “It makes me angry how you were treated.”
“It makes me angry how you were treated! That is what drew me to rescue you. I could see your society was treating you the same as mine was… Pushing you to do too much when you were tired, not appreciating you for who you are… but I appreciate you. You always know how to make me laugh, and all your little faces are so cute. I always look forward to feeling you press against my sides at the end of the day.” It nuzzled them. “You are dragon enough for me, better than any other dragon I have met. You are enough.”
The smaller dragon nodded. “We are our own sort of dragons. And that is enough.”
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rederiswrites · 7 months ago
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You can train your tastes. You can choose what you see beauty in.
Lemme go further, actually. You are constantly doing so--or letting others do it for you.
Nearly two decades ago, when we were planning our wedding, I made a very firm decision not to look at any wedding planning magazines or anything with marketing material for wedding products. I wanted our wedding to be uniquely us, and I also wanted not to be bombarded by product advertisement and beautiful photo shoots of very expensive weddings. Consequently, maybe we wasted a little bit of time reinventing the wheel, but we had a wedding we were very happy with that only cost perhaps four thousand dollars at most, probably not that much, spread out over our finances and those of both our families. Our guests went home with live potted plants that we'd paid pennies for at end of season, our florist had a great time getting to design a bouquet that tested her skills because I didn't have any preconceived ideas, my dress was utterly unique--and I really do feel that those magazines would have had a corrosive effect on all that.
When we moved to this property three years ago, I spent a LOT of time looking at images online, trying to form a coherent vision for a property that was at the time a fairly blank slate. I found myself scrolling through a lot of Russian dacha Instagrams, of all things, and they unlocked something for me. Seeing the same homey make-do decorations and techniques I grew up around a continent away, the same plywood cutout old ladies and tractor tire flower planters, somehow chewed through that last binding cord of classism, and suddenly I saw the art in it. The expression of a desire to embellish and beautify, even when you have very little, even when all you can afford is things the more well-to-do consider trash. I saw the exuberance of human love for beauty in a brilliant flower bed planted next to a collapsing shed--it didn't need to be perfect to be worthwhile. They didn't wait til everything was pristine to start enjoying things. And now I earnestly and unironically covet my own version of the tractor-tire Christmas tree at the farm down the road.
We've spent centuries now idolizing the manicured estates and quaint country retreats of the European wealthy elites. We've turned thousands of miles of living ecosystem into grass deserts in service of this vision. We need to start deliberately retraining our tastes. Seek out images of a different idea of beauty and peace. I'm not telling you what it'll be. I'm telling you this is not involuntary. You can participate. You can look at the many beautiful examples of native xeriscaping for arid climates, or photos of chaotic tangles of wildflowers, tamed by narrow paths, a bench under an arbor overwhelmed with wisteria. Maybe instead of trying to get lawn to grown under your mature trees, you'd actually get far more joy out of a patch of dirt. A hammock. A firepit ringed with log sections for seats.
You can free yourself from harmful conventions of taste and beauty, and you do it through imagining something better.
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if-loves · 1 month ago
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once upon a dream
// Yandere Capitano
sum: you haunt his existence. now, he wishes to repent.
wc: 1473
warnings: 5.1 story quest spoilers (mostly capitano lore spoilers), probably OOC capitano
a/n: i need capitano in a way that concerns my sanity / sorry for not posting in a hot second lmao have capitano as compensation
likes & reblogs are appreciated :)
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Capitano would know you blind, deaf, and devoid of sense. He would know you by the way you breathe, the way you walk, and most of all, your soul.
He first met you five hundred years ago, upon the fall of Khaenri’ah, when he and his platoon fled to Natlan. You, a Master of the Night-Wind, who joined your chief in aiding what most could only assume were the enemies, with nothing but kindness and understanding in all your actions and words. Never once had you treated him or his men as lesser than, as burdens, but instead as one of your own.
He had never been the kind of person that sought for love, for he knew of the foolishness it brought far too often. He prioritised his duty to the kingdom, for its continued survival and prosperity, all until it fell to the hands of Celestia and its gods. Grief and regret often grappled his heart, but even so, he trudged forwards, for if not forwards, where else could he go?
When you touched his wounds for the first time, a gentle smile on your face, reassuring him that all will be alright, he felt as though he had transcended beyond the mortal realm and met an angel. You bandaged his wounds carefully and always offered a warm smile no matter the situation, always chastising him to have a little more regard for his own body, to which he would merely chuckle in reply.
When Ayizu had passed, grief once again racked his being, but he still felt grounded knowing you lived. He had yet to come to terms with his ever-growing feelings let alone your imminent death, and he wasn’t sure what he’d do if you were to die.
He quickly found out that he’d be wracked with grief and sorrow like never before, mourning the loss of you and what could have been, on his knees in the pouring rain cradling your lifeless body. You, who had died long before he even had the sliver of a chance to come to your aid, like you had to him.
Upon watching your tribesmen bury you, Capitano was left to ponder a question. What is the use of his strength, if he cannot even use it to protect those dear to him?
He swears that the first few nights after your passing were the worst he’s ever had in his entire life. He dreams of you, in all of your smiles and gentleness, crying for help as you’re ripped to shreds by abyssal monsters, staring at him with betrayal in your beautiful eyes, as he is unable to do anything except watch, an unwilling witness to your death. He then awakens, breathing heavily yet somehow barely breathing at the same time, drenched in sweat and regret.
He often wonders what your last thoughts were. Were they regretful, or were they full of fear? Or were they hopeful, believing he’d come just in time to save you? He hopes they weren’t. He hopes you didn’t die hopeful, waiting on a hero that could never exist.
Capitano remembers wandering for a long while before being recruited by Pierro, before being given his new identity. He swore many things by the Tsaritsa’s name, but the one he remembers most clearly is the one where he promises to make Natlan, make Teyvat, a safe place for you to exist freely without fear of war or death.
~~
Capitano thinks he’s going insane. He has started seeing, hallucinating, you in his subordinates. The glimpses are brief, and had he been a second too late, he would’ve completely missed you - but he’d know you just by your existence, and he’s certain that even if you were thousands of miles away from him, he’d feel you in the depths of his soul.
He’s desperate to see you again, in front of him. He desires nothing more than to feel the warmth of your skin against his own once more, to hear your heartbeat and confirm to himself that you’re alive again, so that he may right his wrongs and ensure your safety and your happiness in a way he couldn’t before. He is a powerful man now, not like when he first met you; he can give you the world.
His search is to no avail, and it is once again as though you had never existed. He’s almost on the verge of flipping through recruit profiles, until he hears of a group sent away to Liyue, and your name is mentioned. But of course, he is too late. You died, saving your comrades.
He is left to mourn you once again.
~~
The third time he sees you, he wonders if it’s a form of divine punishment. Is it because he’s Khaenrian that he must suffer this cruel fate? The destruction of his homeland, the curse of immortality, the deterioration of the nation that once protected him, the death of those he holds dear… He wonders when will be enough, how much repentance it will take for Celestia to finally cleanse him of his sin. But he has long stopped asking, because he knows the answer better than most.
He sees you many more times, both in reality and in his dreams. Each and every time, he is a second too late, one step away from saving you, from getting you back. And each and every time, he can see you, staring at him with betrayal in the eyes he so dearly adores.
Even so, he doubts he truly wants to see you anymore. His strength is a husk of its former glory, his flesh long rotted. He is perhaps the furthest thing from a human, more akin to an abyssal monster, and he fears that should you meet once more, you’d only stare at him in disgust or, worse yet, fear. He doesn’t think he can handle it.
~~
Capitano had long lost count of how many times he’s encountered you, but for this particular kind, he knows for a fact that it’s the first of its kind.
You stare up at him, confusion in the eyes he so adores, and he wishes for nothing more than to embrace you and listen to the steady beating of your heart. Unfortunately, he is surrounded by his subordinates, and he has a reputation to uphold. Instead, he takes your hand as gently as he can, trying to recall how you treated him before.
“You must come with me.” Is all he offers, before he drags you all the way to Snezhnaya, forsaking his own duties all for you.
He keeps you close to him the entire journey, never allowing you out of his sight for even a second. He wouldn’t allow it, not when that was all it took to lose you. You’re offered no explanation even as you demand for one, violently thrashing in his hold. It pains him to see you like this, and so he forces you to sleep.
At the end of the journey lies an old but sturdy mansion, gifted to him by the Tsaritsa upon his oath to her and the Fatui. It is kept in pristine condition with servants at every corner, busying themselves with tidying the already tidy home. The only sound is the wind beating at the windows harshly.
He brings you to a room, void of any sort of decoration, and chains you to the bed. It is then you realise that the windows have grills, separate from the glass, and the door has a lock on the outside. He, although his actions so cruel, treats you as gently as a monster can afford, and it makes you confused.
“What am I to you?” You question, staring into the darkness of his mask. In the dim room, you can faintly see the glow of blue.
“Everything.” He replies without hesitation, not even a second later than your question. He sounds as though he’s been waiting a very, very long time for this question.
“I do not know you.”
“But I know you.”
He walks closer and closer, until he stands in front of you. Silently, he kneels, head lowered as if in reverence.
“I’d know you blind, deaf, on the verge of death. I’d know you by the way you breathe, walk, smile. I’d know you no matter your appearance, because I know your soul.” He takes one of your chained hands in his gloved ones, bringing the back of it into the abyss of his helmet. You feel a faint kiss by lips chapped and skin rotting.
“It’s okay if you hate me, resent me.” He murmurs, unwilling to let go of your hand. “It’s okay if you wish me dead. As long as you’re alive, I could want for nothing more.”
If only beings like him died so easily.
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mr2swap · 5 months ago
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The great shift: a stinking symbiotic relationship
I came home empty-handed, I hadn't even been able to get a job as a cashier at McDonald's, but I can't blame them who would hire an overweight middle-aged man like me... A lot of things are different since the Great Shift, but I guess that some things remain the same, I opened the door to my apartment and the first thing I looked at was my old body sitting on the couch with an annoyed look.
-Dude, What the fuck? You were supposed to be here 35 minutes ago, my phone is blowing up with messages on our subscribers! You know them, they can't wait a minute for any of this! -
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Gary Muller, my roommate and my “business partner,” flexed one of his enormous biceps until the shirt that covered the muscular and perfect body that used to belong to me almost burst, then with one of his long fingers he pointed to one of his armpits that for a moment They were dry.
Gary took off his shirt, revealing the body he used to look at every day in the mirror, grabbed a pair of dumbbells that were on the floor and started working out for our afternoon show.
-Yeah... I'm sorry, I went to a couple of job interviews, and they went a little longer than I thought, just... let me change while you train a little-
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He just ignored me and went about his business while I walked into our apartment. I had heard that many people ended up in bodies thousands of miles away because of the Great Shift, but me and Gary living next to each other was a strange coincidence.
I didn't know anything about Gary before all this. Furthermore, I only considered him as the old man who lived next to me, sometimes in the mornings while my uncle went to the gym I could see him leaving the building, dressed in a cheap suit and heading to his office job. It was a surprise for me, One day I woke up in his apartment with his old body.
 The Real Gary was as surprised as I was, the first time I saw my old body from Gary's perspective I was speechless, there was an expression of confusion on that beautiful, symmetrically perfect face, the long, muscular arms of which I used to be so proud now they were in someone else's possession, but the worst of all was how short I was now. The height difference between us was enormous, while I was almost two meters tall Gary was 1.50 CM Even some children They are taller than me now.
But over time I got used to Gary's horrible old body... every day I prayed to get my old life back, but every day I woke up with horrible back pain and with a face older than my father's, perhaps the most strange now is the hair, Gary started going bald since high school and when he turned 30 he decided to shave all his hair, Gary's bathroom was full of hair growth products that hadn't worked for years.
And while I was suffering from trying not to adapt to the life of a 48-year-old, the real Gary was enjoying his new youth and his new muscular body. I learned that people treat you very differently when you look like a damn stud instead of a wrinkled Troll.
He could hear through the walls like the real home, and he had fun with my body and with all the boys I brought to my old apartment every night, I had never realized how thin the walls were in this building Until for the first time I heard the powerful moans of my old voice at the same time that Gary used my cock to fornicate another man.
Time passed and society continued on its path, for me, it was surprisingly fast how the government recovered from all this. But there was only one problem, there were a lot of unemployed people everywhere, and among all of them was me.
I used to work at the local gym as a trainer, but with this body that had never been in a gym in its entire life, I was quickly fired. On the other hand, Gary's company went bankrupt when most of the investors ended up in young bodies And they decided to sell the company.
As the days went by, Gary and I became somewhat of friends, I helped him with exercise routines and taught him about the nutrition My body needed, We decided that it would be much cheaper for both of us to live together while all this was resolved, And I returned to my old apartment, but I felt like a stranger among my own things. I settled in the smallest room surrounded by my training equipment that was totally useless to me now, everything was too heavy.
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Living with Gary was certainly better than living on the street, But every day it made me reconsider if that was true, Unsuccessfully I tried to get a damn job, so I could get out of that apartment and start my life over in Gary's weak old body. I felt like a parasite even with Gary, he paid the rent and all the house services.
On top of that, he used to party every night and hang out with his new gym friends during the day, it was a total mystery to me how he made so much money... until I started receiving some strange messages on my old Instagram account. .
“Hey buddy, was this your body?”
“Dude, are you DaddyGary?”
“Damn, you had such a hot body… I always knew what was under those shorts, you didn't disappoint me.”
It wasn't hard to realize that Gary had been making his filthy armpit fetish porn for those desperate gays. I felt so dirty watching the videos of my old body worshiping his sweaty armpits after the gym.
I immediately confronted Gary about it, and surprisingly he admitted it very quickly. He didn't seem embarrassed, or sorry for doing it, I could even notice a slight mocking smile on his face as I told him how humiliated I felt while a bunch of perverted men masturbated with my stinky armpits.
It was at that moment when those words from Gary sealed the destiny I am living in now.
-Those “disgusting” things like you call them are what pay the rent for this place and keep your old ass from sleeping in some dumpster. And if you want to continue sleeping in your comfortable bed, it's time for you to start contributing a little money, and I know how you can do it... Come here -
He flexed both arms showing his armpits, I was surprised to see that he had recently shaved his armpits, eliminating all the wild hair that I previously kept in my sweaty pits, I... I couldn't control myself, I don't think he's homosexual, but the powerful musk of my old armpits made me react like a bee to honey.
Gary took his phone and started recording me while he worshiped his wet armpits with my tongue.
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-You like it, right?… “Gary” Do you like the taste of your old body? Can you believe this used to be me? Damn, You really are pathetic, “Gary” -
It had been several days since I had ejaculated, I had thought Gary's body had erectile dysfunction or something, but at that moment my little cock was hard as a rock and hot as hell. I had never felt this way, my head was completely clouded by the addictive testosterone filled aroma of my old armpits.
-Look friends, “Gary” is jerking off, it seems like he still misses his old body... Maybe we should let him play with him another time...-
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florencemtrash · 5 months ago
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The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Chapter Twenty-Three
Summary: Y/n's clairvoyance is a gift from the Mother, but it feels more like a curse. With the power to gain knowledge through touch alone, Y/n holes herself up in The Alcove and hopes her powers and parentage will remain a secret. But things will change after the Summer Solstice ball and a chance encounter with a certain Shadowsinger.
Warnings: Angst, some suggestiveness
The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Masterlist
Masterlist of Masterlists
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There was stillness. A few hesitant gasps. A churning inside your chest like an ocean brewing up a storm. Pieces of Koschei fluttered in the air, landing on your skin like bits of ash until all that was left were the chains of teeth spooled on the ground in bizarre memory of the death god who’d worn them. 
“Y/n,” Azriel gasped out, struggling to his knees. Sweat lined his brow and dripped from his temples. Blood flaked off his caramel skin like rust.
You could smell the iron on him and identify which stains belonged to which fae warrior. You could tell from one breath how they’d died. The dark mark on his thigh had come from a Spring court nymph run through with a snapped femur bone. The splatter on his cheek came from the Winter court Spymaster who’d been beheaded protecting his High Lord. There were a dozen marks for a dozen bodies, and you could hear their last words echo in your ears.
And there were prayers — so many prayers — being spoken and whispered and screamed throughout the world. Funeral songs. The sounds of weeping and twisted-tongue prophecies all competing to drown out the pleasant hum of the mating bond. 
Your skin boiled. The winter chill struck your body and let off steam. You looked down at your hands and saw your palms begin to crack and splinter, light pouring outward just as Ione’s had. Suddenly, you didn’t feel so powerful. 
Azriel sank his sword into the ground, dragging himself to his feet.
Don’t let her go into the mirror. Elain had warned him. She may not come out. 
Her haunting words froze Azriel to the core. He’d tried to decipher her prophecy, but vague and misleading as they could be, he’d let her warning fade into the background. Now that he was here, it was so painfully clear.
Don’t let her go into the lake. 
But he had let you go…and you’d gone for him. 
To protect him. 
To save him. 
Because you loved him. 
Now he needed to do everything in his power to save you. 
The world was a sharper place. Colors shook on different wavelengths. The air was tainted by new flavors. You could hear it when a human boy a thousand miles away coughed and breathed his last. You could hear his mother’s weeping as his body went cold. 
But worst of all, when you looked your father and Lucien in the eye as they propped each other up, you could see their deaths as clear as the clouds in the sky. As if their futures had been inked onto their cheekbones. It was a bloody end, as would befall all High Lords. 
You were afraid to look at Azriel when he finally staggered over to you, all but collapsing in his arms. He brought you both to the ground, drawing you into his lap and cradling your face like you were the most precious thing in the world. Fingertips glossed over your temples. Across your cheeks. Over your hot and cracked lips that spilled starlight over his hands. 
“Az—” You whispered, tears dotting your eyes and slipping down your cheeks in paths of gold. “I’m sorry—” 
“Don’t you dare,” Azriel all but growled. “You are not dying on me today.” He grabbed onto the bond, holding you to this plane of existence with desperation. Like a kite about to drift away. It was through the bond that you heard a smaller, more frightened voice beg, “Don’t leave me here alone.”
You were his mate. His mate. This male who’d become your best friend and your home was now your mate. You could have lived a thousand lifetimes with him and been happy. But no amount of time would have left you satisfied. You would have always been greedy for more. 
Another minute. Another second. 
You coughed and the blood that dribbled down your chin was liquid gold. 
Was this all you’d be given? A handful of confusing months and less than an hour together? A mating bond left incomplete? 
You wondered if this was how Bethsevah had felt when she’d consumed this power. Whether the same stubbornness had compelled her to hold on so that Koschei’s magic might die with her, or whether her promise to Thanatos to live and have her children had finally convinced her to let go and bury what remained in the lake.  
But the lake was no longer an option. In order to kill Koschei you had transformed the very nature of the magic you’d consumed until it belonged to you. You felt it inside your chest — inside your very soul. It was yours. And it was killing you. Like a flame that would soon run out of fuel to burn.
“You’ll be ok, won’t you?” You asked, leaning your head against his chest. You heard his heart beat frantically in your ears and for a moment, the rush of blood through his veins helped dim the choir of weeping and singing. Even now, Azriel was bringing you peace simply by existing. 
Helion and Lucien looked to Azriel as he held you, silently begging him to do something. 
Anything.
“Azriel,” you gasped, eyes fluttering, “It hurts.” 
“I know, Y/n, please just hold on a little while longer,” Azriel begged as more cracks appeared up your arms and across your chest, unfurling like leaves in spring. 
He scrambled to think of something as the bond roared with desperation. You would know what to do in his position. If your mind weren’t being driven to madness by a thousand voices you would have come up with a solution ages ago. You with your brilliant theories and your Librarian training and— 
Azriel choked, angry tears dripping from his eyes onto your cheeks where they crackled and turned to steam. 
You were his best friend. 
His home. 
His mate.
His mate. 
His—
“I always thought that mating bonds must be some special extension of that. Magic that’s not the same, but perfectly complementary.” 
“Like the difference between two sets of keys, versus a key and a lock.”
“Maybe? I suppose that’s not a terrible analogy to make, but I’m not sure.” You’d shot him a smile more radiant than the sun, “You’re beginning to think like a Librarian, Azriel.” 
Azriel saw the bond stretching before him like a bridge of moonbeam on a cloudless night. It looked like a future where he would always be wanted. Always be loved.
He hadn’t taken you to the seasides of Summer. He hadn’t brought you to meet his mother. He’d never asked for your hand in marriage or seen you in a wedding dress or accepted the bond. All things he so desperately wanted to do. 
All things he wanted a chance to do right. 
He saw the bond stretching before him, and barreled down with only one thought in mind: he would not lose you today. 
It was difficult work crossing the bond before it had been accepted. At times the path felt secure beneath his feet. Sometimes it felt at risk of disappearing entirely. But you were waiting for him. He’d never forgiven himself for that night at the Alcove when he’d arrived late and the wards had already gone up. He didn’t want to be late a second time. 
Your mind was composed of endless library stacks — a maze to keep your thoughts secret instead of walls of impenetrable adamant — but Azriel found his way. Bond or no bond, he still knew you like the back of his hand. 
When his soul reached yours, you were a flickering light crushed under the weight of your own magic. Pulsing and twisting and fighting to hang on. He caressed your soul, brought you peace of a kind you didn’t know was possible, and began to strip away those layers of light.
He bundled them up and dove down into the deepest recesses of your mind. Memories of the past flew by — painful, haunting, lonely. Full of crippling worries and undying hope for something more. It pressed against him from all sides until he finally came across something safe. Something frozen in time. A distant memory that had remained untouched for centuries. There he constructed a well, burying your powers behind walls of shadow and adamant and bricks of cobalt blue. 
Piece-by-piece he stored away your power until the light faded from your skin and you were no longer dying in his arms. 
He heard your weak voice, felt your soul flare like a struck match as you took your first clear breath, before beginning the long trek from the place where he’d hidden your power and back into his own body. 
He jerked to attention. Twin gasps left your lungs as you clung to one another. Your skin cooled and stitched itself together, leaving behind pale scars that feathered down your body like ferns. The world was far too silent now. The singing. The prayers. The screams. They were all gone. 
Until you heard Azriel whimper, “Y/n.” It was just a name. Your name. But it was also a prayer of its own. A quiet song of relief as he crashed over you like a great wave, burying his face against your chest as he began to shake. “Gods, Y/n, I thought I was going to lose you.” 
You shook your head, looping your arms around his neck and trembling from the sobs that wracked through his body. 
He closed his wings around you, blocking out the sights and sounds of the world as the others left to gather the dead. In this place — in his arms — you were safe. Your skin no longer crawled with fever and death. You could breathe and taste the air as it was. Nothing more. Nothing less. There was only the haggard rhythms of Azriel’s chest as he regained control of his breathing.
The sound of whispered promises.
Words of love.
The smell of cold wind and cedar wood.
Nearly an hour later, Azriel finally let you go for long enough to accept the cloak Helion draped over your shoulders, and a long embrace from your father and Lucien. 
“Never do anything so stupid again,” Lucien warned, squeezing you tightly. Your skin was still burnt and sensitive, but worth the spine-cracking hug. 
“It wasn’t stupid actually, it was a stroke of brilliance.” 
“Let’s not joke just yet,” Helion said, his voice strangled. 
Azriel appeared to be in agreement, quickly gathering you under the curve of his wings. You sighed deeply, nuzzling into his side and wishing he would take you far away from here. If you asked, Azriel would have flown away with you in an instant, his own exhaustion be damned. But that new power was humming in your veins. Azriel had locked much of it away, but not all of it. And as you knew all too well, power demanded release. 
You looked at Azriel — at your mate — noting his bloodshot eyes and the deep shadows beneath them.
“Azriel, you should—” 
“I’m not leaving you,” He croaked. His hazel eyes flashed with fear, his grip around your waist tightening as if to fuse himself to your side.
“You can barely stand.” 
His eyes softened, pleading. “Don’t ask me to stay away right now, Y/n. Please.” 
And so he followed. Azriel never left your side as you roamed the woods, gold-trimmed cloak trailing behind you. 
One by one, you stripped away the spells that had survived Koschei’s death. You were a new and welcome guest within these woods. They’d been left to rot and ruin for too long, like an abandoned house with boarded up windows and sheets laid down over the furniture. You swept off the sheets and tore open the windows. Over a thousand years these woods had laid in darkness. You finally let the light in.
The bones that had been pulled from the earth were laid to rest for good. You cleaned and preserved the bodies that had recently joined the dead, and when you reached the blindspot where Ione and Techaria had died, you took the pieces of Ione and fused her back together until she just looked like a young woman sleeping amongst the trees.
There was nothing left of Techaria for you to bury. 
Viviane would not allow you anywhere near Kallias, and so you let her attend to her mate and her grief in privacy. 
Then, you went in search of the firebird. 
Lucien was already with her, draping his cloak over her shivering, bloody form. She lay in silence, cradled in the pocket of earth she’d landed in after Viviane had cut through her wings with blades of ice. She croaked mournfully, twisting on the ground to gaze upon you with her beady eyes. With a few careful touches you drew away the curse like a curtain until she was a maiden once again, soot-stained but unharmed. 
Lucien wrapped her in the cloak, soothing her trembling cries as she called out for Jurian. But she was only met with silence. 
Hours later, you all stood by the edges of what was once a lake, carrying the dead and wounded alike in makeshift stretchers or folded neatly within gentle arms. 
Cassian had his left arm thrown around Nesta, his figure pale and crooked. His right arm stuck out awkwardly, bloodied rags wrapped tightly around the stump. 
Rhysand, prideful and stubborn as he was, refused to be carried on a stretcher. Instead, he limped, propped up on one side by Feyre and on the other side by Helion. Eris did the same, guarded by the remaining true-born sons of Autumn. Tarquin was more practical. He let his men carry him and the broken remains of his shield. Viviane was the last of their procession and carried her husband’s frost-coated body. Her tears dripped down her cheeks and froze there. 
At the sight of the High Lady of Winter, Azriel thrummed the bond. He wanted proof you were alive. 
You tugged at it gently and he tugged back with a small exhale of breath.
“Is it time to go home now?” You asked him. 
He caressed your cheek, and the bond, eyes shining. You shivered beneath both touches. 
“Yes, my love, it’s time to go home.” 
All those who could winnow pulled together the scraps of their power, the promise of home so tempting they would have swum across the ocean if needed. 
The fabric of the universe folded in half and everyone stepped through, leaving behind a wasteland decimated from battle and centuries under Koschei’s oppressive power. 
You promised yourself that you would never return, and would keep to that promise. But the next time anyone from Prythian or the Continent gathered enough courage to step foot on the grave of a death god, they would find that everything had changed. Life would find its way once more, and the only things that walked that ground would stand firmly on the side of the living. 
You jerked awake, hands clawing at your scalp as you remembered the power that had burned you from the inside out. It still weighed heavily in your chest — both the locked and unlocked portions — serving as a reminder that your magic was changed now. Touched by death like ink spilled over a book page. 
Azriel wasn’t asleep. He hadn’t slept since you’d arrived in Prythian and immediately collapsed in his arms, choosing to keep watch over you until you finally woke up. 
He was quick to wrap you in his arms and sent all his reassurance and love down the bond. You twitched in his hold. Dug your fingers into his chest so you could feel the beating of his heart. 
“Shhhhh, I’m here, Y/n. You’re alright. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he breathed into the crown of your hair. 
The bed you were in wasn’t yours, and it was too lush to be Azriel’s. You were drowning in opulence and silk. A far cry from the comfortable simplicity of Azriel’s deep colored walls and blue bed sheets and it felt wrong.
The downy feather pillows were covered in the vibrant turquoise, purples, and reds of the Dawn Court, which Azriel confirmed when he explained, “You were so exhausted you passed out the moment we were back in Prythian. We all decided to stay so Thesan could attend to you, Cass, and Rhys.” 
“How long?” You croaked out. Your tongue lay dry and heavy in your mouth. Like someone had shoved cotton down your throat. 
“Three days.”
That would explain the film over your teeth. But someone had bathed you since then. You smelled clean. A hint of lavender soap clung to your skin and hair, and the spare shirt you’d been tucked into smelled of night-chilled mist and cedar. 
There was no blood. No dirt. Nothing. 
If it weren’t for the fern-like scars snaking up and down your body and death’s mark on your powers, you might have believed it was all a dream. 
But there was another clue… or rather the absence of a clue. 
Azriel’s shadows were missing. He looked naked without them twisting around his wings and across his shoulders. 
“Your shadows they’re…” You were at a loss. 
Azriel winced. “They’re still gone.” 
Gone. Not dead or destroyed. Just… gone. 
“Do you think they’ll come back?”
“I don’t know.” It was the uncertainty that was eating away at him. “I can still hear their voices muffled like echoes in the distance, but I haven’t felt them since Koschei…” His words trailed off and he held you impossibly close. 
He hadn’t been born with his shadows, but they’d been by his side for all the years that mattered. Losing them had felt like losing a piece of himself. 
“Were you hurt elsewhere?” You asked, frantically running your fingers up and down his bare chest and back in search of new scars beneath your fingertips. 
“A few bruises here and there and a couple of scratches, but they’re gone now.”
“And the others?”
Azriel looked down at you and grief made the words come out slow. “Rhysand will never fly again and Cassian won’t be the warrior he once was.”
The words slammed into your chest, crushing the breath from your lungs in a strangled gasp. 
You didn’t know what to say. 
Rhysand had rarely shown his wings, preferring to hide what was truly important to him so that it might not be taken away. But he loved flying. He never smiled so wide as when he and Feyre would gather Nyx and Velaria into their arms and shoot off into the night sky until they’d become one with the stars. 
And Cassian… he was a warrior through and through. He may as well have been born with a sword and shield in his hands. 
Azriel tucked his fingers beneath your chin. “They’re alive. That’s what I say we focus on.” 
Because what else was there to say? 
You took his scarred hand in yours, tracing the grooves and valleys along the palms. 
You raised your arm, slipping your hands into a ray of light that spilled through the window and pooled across Azriel’s chest. Lightning shaped scars wound down your shoulder to the palms of your hands, catching the shimmering light along the newly healed scar tissue. 
“We’re matching,” You whispered, sliding your hand into his like it belonged there. 
Azriel’s heart stuttered in his chest and might have given out if you hadn’t kissed him then. It was a hungrier, wilder kiss than he was used to receiving from you. More desperate. As if you wanted to take the air from his lungs just to prove he was breathing. 
He pulled away when your hands drifted to his waist and then further down, gently taking your wrists and pinning them by your sides. 
“Y/n, you don’t want this. Not now.” 
But you did want this. Even if your hands were shaking and your heart was racing uncomfortably. 
It wasn’t how you’d imagined it would go. It wasn’t the ideal fantasy you’d read about thousands of times with a bed covered in rose petals and candles to light up the dark. But it was something. It was Azriel. And you were afraid that you’d wake up tomorrow and find that it was all a dream. Or that some other danger lurked around the corner, waiting for its moment to steal your mate from you. 
You couldn’t have that. You wouldn’t have that. Not when there were still so many things you wanted to do with him. 
You struggled to free your hands, terror rising in your chest at the realization that you’d nearly lost him. The bond had snapped in place and he’d almost died immediately after. What would you have been left with if Azriel had been taken from you? Memories spanning a handful of months and a gaping hole in your life? One half of a bond never realized? Another 300-hundred years alone? 
He rolled over on top of you, bracing his arms by your head and gently smoothing back your hair. He whispered for you to just breathe. 
It was the closest you’d ever gotten to one another.
“How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me?” You begged him for answers, tears streaming down your cheeks. It was clear from the moment the bond snapped into place that Azriel had known far longer than you had. It was written all over his face now — some mixture of shame and longing. A secret that had been kept hidden for too long.
“I’ve known since the night I met you. Since the moment you called me Azriel the Shadowsinger I’ve known. But I didn’t tell you because I wanted to do things right. I wanted you to love me. I wanted us to take our time.” You started to cry even harder and Azriel felt a piece of his heart crack. “Maybe I took too long.” 
He kissed your eyelids, smoothing away the tears with his lips before they could drip down your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier and I’m sorry I frightened you but… but when we do this, I don’t want you to be afraid. I don’t want to be in a stranger’s home or for you to be scared I’ll be gone in the morning.” 
“Then promise me,” you begged, tears streaming down your cheeks, “Promise me you’re really here. Promise me we’ll have more time together.” 
“I’m here, Y/n,” Azriel breathed. “And I swear to you, we will have all the time in the world.” 
Maybe it wasn’t a promise he could keep — the gods knew there were some forces beyond his control — but still, he made the promise over and over again with every belief that he could keep it. He whispered those words against your forehead, against your lips, and against your heart until you stopped shaking. 
He would tear down mountains and move the very stars in the sky for more time with you. 
There was untapped grief that would need to be spoken about and new futures to be arranged. But right now, you and Azriel chose to lay together in silence. It was a quiet sharing of things that couldn’t be spoken, but also couldn’t be carried alone. 
You still had each other. 
You’d both survived.
<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->
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Author's Note:
Y'all I remain hesitant about the ending of this chapter, but you know what, I'm going to let it stand. Nothing I write can be as weird as some of the questionable smut scenes SJM includes in her books (*cough cough* Feyre should not be giving blowjobs to the sounds of people dying on a battlefield). Like...
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Anyhow, thank you to everyone who has stuck around with me and this fic after 100k words (and yeah, we hit 100k words like two chapters back without me realizing!)
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justliketoreadsowhat · 4 months ago
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Saturday Night Lights ❦
- 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 -
𝐀/𝐧 ; 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ♥︎, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 & 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐞-𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞.
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“You look so beautiful tonight” Paige expressed her admiration for you, her eyes roaming across your features relentlessly, it became like a second nature to her, no matter where you two were. 
As for tonight, the Washington Spirts Soccer game was one of the many side quests you two had planned together. If there was ANY women’s sporting event occurring within a 30-mile radius, you could bet money you two would be in attendance. 
“Mmm.. so what about all the other nights?” you teased, knowing you’d be amused by her reaction, you just loved to egg her on. 
She clicked her tongue at your antics, “You look beautiful every night baby, but you already knew that” her tone low and soft eyeing your facial expression.  
“Ewww! Can you guys stop being so cringey and watch the game” Drew groaned dramatically, moving over 2 seats away from the two of you. He never failed to make you laugh even though he was being so serious, he was definitely a 2.0 version of Paige. 
“Just relax and eat the popcorn you begged me for”, she side-eyed him playfully
“Now you’re just dragging it, I can’t wait until Azzi gets here” shaking his head shamelessly, fixing his pride hat in the process. 
“She’s not gonna save you Drew” you laughed, reaching over to flip the top of his hat inside out. You loved messing with him every chance you got, over the past few months, he’s become one of your greatest little sick kicks. “Eh she might, y’know she has her favorite children, too bad you’re not one of them” she shrugged. 
“Not too much on Drew!” you snapped, mushing her face into your hands. “Guys! stop you’re on the big screen, look!” 
Both of your eyes jolted upwards, only to meet eyes with the jumbotron zooming in on the two of you. The stadium erupted with loud cheers and applause that shook the seats. 
“They left out Drew” she muttered through her cinematic smile, waving at the screen. 
Without a 2nd thought, you pulled Drew back to his designated seat next to you, he cheesed at the screen with delight 
“Yeah that’s definitely getting posted on Tiktok, guess you’ll have more to add to your collection hm?” a familiar voice rang from behind you. “Azzi! finally, I was getting tourtered out here” Drew said exasperated, pulling her down into a tig hug. 
“Wow so now we’re lying for fun” her nose scrunched up in disbelief, “remember those words” 
“Gosh what did ya’ll do to him this time?, kiss??” she questioned lingering with sarcasm. 
“No! we’d never do that“ 
“THATS A LIE! I still remember that day I caught you guys outside-“ 
“Okay anyways!” you intervene, saving yourself the embarrassment of re-living the moment. “There’s a spokesperson heading our way so act like civil human beings” 
“I already talked during the Mystic game so I’m clocked out for the day” Azzi sighed, climbing over the row of seats to sit next to Drew “Paige this is all you” tilting her head to the woman who stood near the railings waiting for people to clear the path. 
“I don’t even know what to say..” she trailed off, her fingers lightly tapping your forearm trying to gather her thoughts, her social battery had to be low by this point, but she would never turn down an opportunity to speak out at events, a professional yapper in her natural habitat always thrives. 
“Come with me” she asserted standing up to her full frame as you remained planted in your seat. There is no way you were going to endure a microphone being shoved in your face for thousands of people to see, being on the big screen was good enough for you. 
“What am I supposed to say?!” you said barely above a whisper. Your brain began to rattle with scenarios 
“Just stand there and look pretty like you always do” her hands met yours as she gently peeled you from your seat.
“Don’t forget to make eye contact, it gets em everytime” Azzi winked, you chuckled at her antics, she was so effortlessly charming, although she’d never admit it. 
“Make sure you remind her to blink, sometimes she forgets” Drew laughs, popcorn spilling from the bucket he soon forgets he was supposed to be holding. 
Paige swung her arm across his lap, sending the popcorn flying across the stands. “Make sure you clean up your mess, sometimes you forget” she grits. You gasped trying your best not to bring any more attention to the scene unfolding. Pulling her away from the seats you made your way to the spokeswoman. 
What a fun way to spend your Saturday night, and to think it was only the beginning. 
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lowkeyerror · 6 months ago
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The Family Business Ch.12
WandaNat x Reader
Word count: 2.7k
Ch. Notes: It's a converstion so dialouge heavy, non-sexual nudity
Summary: Natasha and Wanda reveal their feelings.
An: Ok... ok late again, but tell me it's not worth the wait. (Please don't) Hopefully you love it because it's 2:25am but I'm still doing this for yall and yes if everything goes right new ch. on Monday
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
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Wanda couldn’t look at you when she was speaking. You could see she was trying to find the words, but you didn’t know how to help her.
Natasha knowing what her wife is trying to say tries to take over.
“ Before I met you I was a little jealous. Seeing the love of my life light up talking about someone who was quite literally thousands of miles away, was a hard pill to swallow. I haven’t known you as long as Wanda, but I can see now why she had always spoken so highly of you.”
You want to interrupt the red head and say anything back to her, but you don’t. They had said they wanted to tell you everything before you spoke so you intended to let them.
“When Papa sent me away, I resented him for it. It was a great opportunity and a show of good faith, but I was angry with him because I didn’t want to leave you here. I thought we had grown quite close, little krolik. You were the best part of all my days. So much so that even thousands of miles away I couldn’t shut up about you. Even after I fell in love, you’d always find a way into my mind,” Wanda plays with her wedding ring as she speaks.
You look between the two woman silently urging them to continue.
“I’ve been many places, lived many lives, and have met many people, but I've never met anyone like you. There’s this light inside you that you keep so close to your chest. I can feel it behind all the walls you put up. I see it in how intensely you care about your family and I admire it. I admire you,” Natasha isn’t scared to take your hand in hers.
Wanda continues, “It’s hard not to admire you. If Natasha has seen it in these few months, it’s safe to say I’ve always seen it. I saw it before you put all these walls up, when you let it be known to everyone. I think that’s what startled me so much when I came home. I felt like a soldier come home from war to see his home was no longer his.”
The woman begins to get emotional. You reach out your other hand for her to take, not knowing what else to do.
“When I saw Wanda interact with you for the first time, I felt something. It wasn’t jealousy or hatred or anything like that. It was this overwhelming warmth. Seeing her hold you as if you’d disappear, seeing her smile as big as our wedding day, it made me happy,” Natasha recounts.
Wanda sighs, “When we were in my old room at the dinner I was terrified. I thought you were going to tell me the same thing everyone else had when it came to you, but you didn’t. You held me, dried my tears, and I think things really started to fall into place for me then.”
“I met Wanda when she was technically on a job. She was leading and in charge of operations. I had seen her get angry or upset on multiple occasions, but I don’t know if I ever saw her as mad as that night. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears when she had Pietro against the wall. As far as I knew, I was the only one who could calm her down, but then you did it like it was second nature.”
You speak quietly, “She’s always had a temper.”
You think the woman will roll her eyes, but she doesn’t, “I have and you have always been there to calm me down. I don’t know how to say this, Y/n. When I met you, you were just my little brother’s best friend, but then you became my friend and then a part of my family. You were so delicate back then, you weren’t even 18 for Christ sake.”
Natasha tries to help her wife find her bearings, “But by the time she left you were 22 and you had grown into a young woman.”
Wanda shakes her head a bit, “You had done a lot of growing, that I didn't want to see, that I was trying to ignore because I didn’t want you to think that I had intentions of taking advantage of you. I felt like at the time I was too old, you were too young, and we were too close.”
You look at her with confusion on your face. There’s only one thing that she could be talking about in your mind, but this can’t be happening.
“What are you saying Wanda?”
For the first time in the conversation her eyes meet yours. You see the fear in them, the uncertainty, the desperation. Her hand let’s go of yours and finds itself on her bouncing knee.
“I don't want to ruin this and I'm so scared of losing you, but if you would’ve died in that alley not knowing that I’m in love with you it would’ve destroyed me.”
You feel your heart beating against your chest. Your mouth opens and closes a few times as you try to find your voice. You find yourself stuttering for the first time in years, “Y-you w-what?”
Wanda stands abruptly trying to run from the conversation. This makes you panic and try to stand as well. However, you forget about your ankle and yelp at the weight you put on it.
Wanda’s arms are quick to steady you before you do anymore damage to yourself. She’s close to you and you swear you can hear her heartbeat.
“D-did you s-ay-” you give up frustrated with your reappearing stutter.
Wanda’s grip on you tightens slightly, “I’m in love with you.”
“Wanda I- you’re married,” you look back at Natasha only to find her staring at you.
She stands from her place on the couch, and closes the gap between the two of you.
“I have my own feelings for you Y/n,” Natasha is confident as she speaks.
Her assertion makes you turn red, “Y-you also?”
Natasha smiles sweetly, “Maybe not love just yet, but I could see myself falling for you.”
This situation was short-circuiting your brain, it felt like you were dreaming. This couldn’t be real. As you stood between the two woman it felt like less of a dream.
“I loved you before they sent you away,” you blurt out to your friend’s sister.
Once you start it’s like the words just pour out of your mouth, “You were way out of my league. You’re still out of my league, I mean does it get more taboo than falling for your best friend’s older sister. You’re just so easy to love, but I never thought I had a chance and then you came back with a wife; a very beautiful, very intelligent, ex-Russian spy of a wife, and I just knew I didn’t have a chance.”
“The chance is now. Admittedly, we don’t know how something like this works, but I think we can figure it out together,” Wanda levels with you.
“If you're interested,” Natasha adds on, leaving the ball in your court.
“It would’ve been nice if you guys had told me before I got a cut on my lip. I could’ve done the whole dramatic kiss to cut you off,” you tease them.
Wanda rolls her eyes, “If I could shove you and you wouldn’t fall over, I would.”
“You talk to every woman you’re in love with like that?”
Natasha chimes in, “You get used to it after awhile.”
You share a laugh and when it dies down Wanda speaks, “So we’re doing this?”
“I want to try, but I don’t want to ruin your marriage,” you speak honestly.
“You won’t,” Natasha declares with certainty.
“How do you know?”
She thinks for a moment, “The love Wanda and I have for each other is endless, I’ve never for a moment thought anything could break it up. We’re not changing the way we love each other, we’re just adding you into the already existing dynamic. Eventually it should end with the three of us loving each other endlessly. Does that make sense?”
You nod slowly, “It sounds perfect.”
Natasha places a kiss on your cheek like it’s second nature to her, “Good.”
Your ears heat at the contact and before you can respond Wanda places a light kiss at the corner of your lips.
The movement leaves you wanting more. Against better judgement you try to lean down and kiss her. You succeed in placing your lips against hers for a brief second but as you pull away you almost fall again.
Natasha is the one to steady you this time. She teases you, “Someone is eager?”
“My ankle doesn’t want me to be great.” you pout.
Natasha hesitates, but delicately she touches her lips to yours. It’s as quick as your attempt at kissing Wanda.
“Your ankle won’t stop us, bunny,” Wanda looks at you with shining eyes.
Your face heats at the nickname that’s only familiar to you in the woman’s native language. The women chuckle at the pigment of your skin.
“We’ll see who’s laughing when my lips don’t hurt and I can kiss you properly,” you try once again standing on your own.
“I’m looking forward to it,” Wanda lets her eyes fall to your lips.
You roll your eyes, “Stop teasing, and help me get ready for bed. This has simultaneously been one of the best and one of the most painful days of my life. Truly unforgettable.”
Natasha speaks first, “I’ll get some stuff ready for a shower.”
“I’ll help you to the bathroom,” Wanda finishes.
It’s an all too similar feeling as you find yourself perched on the bathroom counter with Wanda standing between your legs.
Her fingers play with the end of your shirt. She looks at you for permission and you give her a light nod.
Slowly as to not aggravate your injuries she takes your shirt off. She’s careful as she unwraps the bandages from your torso.
“You’ll need help in there,” she speaks softly as her eyes scan your body.
“I know,” the pain starts to catch up with you.
Leaning forward slightly you rest your head on her shoulder. She smells good and it calms your nerves.
Wanda can’t help herself as she speaks up, “Isn’t this a familiar scene?”
You raise your head off of her shoulder and smile, “It’s ringing a few bells.”
Natasha enters the restroom with some towels and pajamas, “I’m going to get some food going, if you guys are alright in here?”
Wanda nods, “I’ve got her, Nat.”
Natasha nods and proceeds to exit the bathroom, “Just holler if you need me.”
Wanda steps away from you to turn the shower on. She’s back in front of you in no time.
“How do you want to do this?”
You feel nerves as you speak, but you try to sound objective, “I think you should join me. Not because I want to see you, not that I don’t want to see you. Its just I can’t really stand and-”
She quiets you down by pulling her own shirt over her head. Her feet pad against the bathroom floor as she makes her way back over to you. Wanda’s hands place themselves on the top of your pants. Her movements are slow but sure as she begins to pull them down. She takes extra care when they're around your ankle.
Once they’re off she takes a step back swiftly removing her own pants. The only thing left on both of you is your underwear.
The sound of the shower rings heavily in your ears as you watch Wanda take her bra off. You can’t move even if you want to. Your eyes glance over her chest before following her hands path lower. She’s not teasing as she removes her panties.
Once again you find yourself with her standing between your legs, but this time there was significantly less fabric in the way. She reaches behind you back to place her hands on your bra clasp.
“Y/n, do you mind if-"
“Take it off,” you finish for her.
She does as you say, a shaky breath releases from her. Your bra falls off your shoulder, but you keep looking in her eyes. Her hand slides down from your back and her finger hooks around your underwear.
“Take it off,” you repeat in a hushed tone.
She follows your instructions. Her eyes snap back to yours. The two of you stare in silence. There’s an underlying tenderness to the moment.
Wanda’s hand reach for your waist, “Ready?”
You nod and she assists you off of the counter. The water hits your skin and you sigh. You enjoy the heat against your bruised skin. Wanda’s hands stay in place for a moment just keeping you steady.
It's a silent delicacy as Wanda soaps up a towel and begins to gently clean your skin. You marvel at the lightness of her touch.
She turns you around so you face her. You look down at her and can’t help but brush your nose against hers. You hear her breath hitch. Carefully you use your hand to guide her’s across your body.
Neither of you dwell as she cleans every inch of you intimately. You lean against the shower wall a bit so Wanda has room to wash herself. You take in the details of her body as she cleans herself.
She gets out first and then helps you put the pajamas laid out for you on before dressing herself.
“I love you,” you say it easily when everything is done.
Wanda places a kiss on your forehead, “I love you too.”
Wanda helps you to the kitchen table. Your eyes find Natasha moving about in the kitchen.
“Almost done, I know you’re tired lisichka. We can eat then get in the bed,” Natasha speaks to you.
“Thanks Natty,” you look at her with your hand on your chin.
“Did you re-wrap her torso detka?” Natasha asks her wife.
Wanda snaps her fingers, “I knew I forgot something.”
“Take over here, and I’ll do it?”
Wanda agrees to these terms. Natasha goes to fetch the medical wrap and quickly returns. You’re sitting down, so Natasha kneels to be level with your torso.
Carefully with tentative hands, she lifts up your shirt. Her hand finds the small of your back, to encourage you to sit straight. You follow her instructions.
“Tell me if it’s too tight, okay?”
You’re looking down into her eyes and you momentarily get lost in them. The hues of green draw you in like emeralds.
“Baby,” she says again a little more firm.
You snap out of it and nod, “I’ll tell you if it’s too tight.”
She brings the wrap around your torso multiple times, each time looking for any extensive discomfort in your expression.
When she’s done with your torso, she quickly does your ankle. Your ankle was more sensitive, so she made sure to be extra gentle.
“All set, lisichka,” the woman places a kiss on your forehead as she stands up.
“Food is ready,” Wanda announces bringing plates for the three of you to table.
At this point exhaustion was knocking at your door. You eat in comfortable silence and once you’re finished, they help you to bed.
When your head hits the pillow, you almost fall asleep instantly.
“If I didn’t want to kill him for what he did to my father, I’d kill him for this,” Wanda says to her wife.
“The men involved have been dealt with already,” Natasha relies to her Wanda.
“You work fast malyshka,” Wanda places her hands on Natasha’s hips.
Natasha looks at your sleeping figure, “I’d move at the speed of light for either of you.”
Natasha ends her statement by kissing Wanda.
“I love you,” Wanda pulls the woman closer to her.
Natasha smiles pecking the woman’s lips once more, “I love you too.”
The two of them climb into the bed, making sure to give you adequate space due to your injuries.
“Why does this already feel so natural?” Wanda questions.
Natasha answers instantly, “It’s just meant to be like this. This feels like the final piece to our little puzzle."
Wanda was more than content with that answer, closing her eyes, unable to fight rest.
Somewhat like before, but entirely different at the same time, the three women lay together.
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Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok @tarathia @bgwlsmahf25 @lezzylover @og-kxsh-420 @vanessashands @untoldreader @sxlfishbrokenheart @marvelgirlx @elle161989
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teatreeoilll · 10 months ago
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ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna drabble-headcanon thingy part 2 | part I here w/c - 750 cw: manga spoilers (although I'm only on chapter 180 so if it kind of doesn't make sense with the rest I'm sorry!!)
ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who wakes up a thousand years later, now trapped in a boy's body, unaware of the fact that you, too, had made a deal with the devil to satisfy your yet unmet need for revenge.
Hein Era
"You must be Kenjaku," you said, relief washing over your body. It has been three long years since you've decided to find the man, the journey wearing you out, turning you into an empty shell in tattered rags.
"May the traveler who knows my name introduce herself?" He proposed, not making the effort to turn around from his position over the cooking pot. The shabby hut you stood in and his mild demeanor hardly lived up to the reputation of the most vicious man to set foot in Japan in eons.
And so you do, with a deep bow and a mutter of your name, "I've come to an understanding that to kill the man I wish dead might take more than one lifetime," you proclaimed, "and I've been told you're the one to turn to."
Tokyo, 2018
ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna felt something strange the moment Itadori Yuji fell face-first into Tokyo Colony No. 1. However, he couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was, like the dull wistfulness of an old perfume. Itadori Yuji sensed it too, but had little time to muse over such things when he was too busy fighting to try to locate Higuruma Hiromi.
"Kogane, show me player Higuruma Hiromi," you order, looking at the information popping up, "his points are gone. Is he the one who changed the rule?" You don't wait for an answer before continuing, "It doesn't matter; he might still know something. Ikebukuro's close now."
You walk through the concrete and metal jungle; these people have built themselves miles upon miles of castles, you think, Sukuna probably enjoys watching them crumble.
When you approach the theater you were told Higuruma resides in, a boy walks out. As soon as he catches a glimpse of you, he halts, standing on guard on the other side of the road.
ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna has seen many faces, but yours was one that hadn't faded from his memory by the passing of time.
"I don't want to fight!" The boy exclaimed from across the road, but his shoulders were drawn back, fists curled near his pockets.
"I do not wish to fight either!" You shout back, thinking that another battle may wash off the remains of your strength. Besides, what good would it do to fight a young boy? Although only the look of his pink hair made your teeth clench and stomach tighten.
You watch the boy take a seat on the pavement, "Are you hurt?" You inquire, slowly drawing closer across the pavement.
"Just taking a breather!" He shouts, but you decide to approach regardless.
ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who laughs. He howls like a maniac inside Yuji's head, sending strange vibrations throughout the boy's body.
"Are you alright?" You ask the boy, watching him nod as he gulps the water you handed him. The resemblance is striking, you think, but perhaps I'm just thinking too much of it.
"Thank you," he puts the empty water bottle by his side, "I'm sorry I drank all your water."
"It's nothing." You assure him, "Have you seen Higuruma here? I've a question for him."
"I don't think he's the kind to answer questions," Yuji reflected, getting up from the sidewalk.
"I won't leave him much of a choice." You asserted, watching the boy's doubtful expression, "Do you have any insight you may offer on his technique?"
"Well, I don't think I understand it, really, but.." Yuji starts explaining, watching your brows furrow as you nod along at his descriptions.
You thank him, parting curtly before turning away towards the theater.
"Wait!" Yuji exclaims behind you, "What's the question? Maybe I'll save you the trouble."
You doubt his words, but turn back to face him, "There's a man I'm looking to kill," you disclosed, "trust me, you'd want him dead too,” you chuckle, pausing for a moment, but deciding there's no harm in asking, "Sukuna, do you know where he is?"
Yuji freezes, his heartbeat quickening at the mention of the name, his wide eyes pointed straight at you.
"Didn't think so," you sigh.
ChildhoodFriend!Sukuna who pops out as a mouth carved in Yuji's cheek, causing you to jump back slightly at the bizarre sight while he taunted loudly;
"You're not going to tell her, brat?"
_
tag list: @saoirseirose, @marimeown, @http-dilflvr Thank you guys for the wonderful comments on part one, hope this one doesn't disappoint
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Text
I’ll Be Yours For The Weekend
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WC: 2K
Summary: Highschool sweethearts Connor and Y/n reunite in their hometown for thanksgiving where their breakup after graduation happened and their reaction to seeing each other was to call each other babe for the weekend inevitably creating two different f reactions when returning to their separate lives across the country.
Warnings: None but ANGSTY ANGST ANGST
Connor Bedard stepped off the plane, the cold autumn air of Canada wrapping around him like an old, familiar blanket. It felt surreal to be back in the hometown that had shaped so much of who he was, yet everything felt heavier than he remembered. Months had passed since he was drafted by the Chicago Blackhawks, and now he stood on the cusp of a new life—one filled with expectations, pressure, and a dream he had long chased. But despite the excitement, an emptiness gnawed at him.
His thoughts drifted to Y/N, the girl he had loved for three years. The one who had stood by him through countless late-night practices, who had cheered him on from the stands, and whose laughter had filled his world with joy. Breaking up before the draft had been a decision they both had agonized over, but the weight of their separate futures had felt insurmountable. Now, as he drove through familiar streets, he couldn’t escape the memories. The school they attended together, the coffee shop where they spent endless afternoons, the park where they shared secrets, her parents house—it all felt achingly close yet impossibly distant.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Y/N stared out the window of her Los Angeles dorm. The palm trees swayed lazily in the warm breeze, but she felt frozen in time. She had thrown herself into her studies, trying to push the aside the remaining gaping void Connor had left behind. She followed his journey from afar through screens, proud yet heartbroken, knowing their love was now just a bittersweet memory. Thanksgiving was approaching, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to go home, despite the ache that came with it.
When she arrived back in their hometown, Y/N felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia wash over her. Every corner of the town whispered Connor’s name, from the diner they had frequented to the bench where they’d carved their initials. It felt like a time capsule, preserving their shared moments, while the reality of their separation weighed heavily on her heart.
The day before Thanksgiving, she found herself at the local grocery store, running errands her mother sent her to do before the feast. The store buzzed with activity, filled with the sounds of laughter and chatter, but Y/N felt isolated, her mind still wandering back to Connor. Suddenly, as she turned a corner, she collided with someone. The familiar voice broke through her thoughts.
“Y/N?”
Time stood still as she looked up into Connor’s eyes. It was as if the universe had conspired to bring them back together. They both wore expressions of shock, disbelief washing over them like a tidal wave.
“Connor-” she managed to breathe, a mix of surprise and warmth flooding her heart.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” he said, a smile breaking through the initial surprise.
They stood in the aisle, surrounded by shelves filled with holiday treats, but all they could see was each other. After a brief moment of hesitation, they fell into an easy conversation, sharing updates about their lives. The chemistry between them felt electric, as if no time had passed since their last encounter.
“Do you remember that time we got lost on our way to the lake?” Connor asked, laughter bubbling up from somewhere deep inside her.
“Of course! We ended up at that diner and ordered way too many fries,” Y/N replied, her smile genuine, igniting memories that warmed her heart.
As they continued to talk, the hurt of their breakup began to fade, replaced by a sense of comfort and familiarity. It was as if the months apart had been nothing more than a fleeting dream. They spent nearly an hour wandering the aisles, the grocery store fading into the background as they rediscovered each other.
“Hey,” Y/N said softly, the words barely escaping her lips. “What if we drove around town this weekend? Like old times?”
“Like old times?” Connor replied, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Yeah,” she said, her heart racing at the prospect of reclaiming a piece of their past.
The next day, they met again, the air crisp and fresh as they set off in Connor’s car. As they drove through familiar roads, every turn brought a rush of memories—each place was a snapshot of their past, a reminder of the love they had shared. Connor played their favorite songs, and they sang along, the laughter spilling out of the windows and into the crisp autumn air.
The first stop was the park where they had spent countless afternoons. They parked and stepped out, taking a moment to breathe in the nostalgia. The leaves crunched under their feet as they walked along the path, the same path they had walked as teenagers, hand in hand.
“Remember when we used to come here every weekend after school and just sat on that swing set?” Y/N asked, pointing to the rusting swings in the distance.
Connor chuckled, “And that day you pushed me so hard I flew off!”
“Hey there was in no way that was my fault! You leaned over!” she teased, nudging him playfully.
They made their way to the swings, their laughter echoing through the park. Y/N settled onto one swing while Connor took the one beside her. They began to swing gently, the rhythmic motion stirring memories of simpler times.
“Do you ever think about us?” Y/N asked, her voice softening.
“Every day,” Connor admitted, his gaze fixed on the ground. “It’s hard not to. You were such a huge part of my life.”
“I miss you,” she confessed, the weight of her words hanging between them.
“I miss you too,” he replied, the honesty in his voice wrapping around her like a warm hug. “But what do we do about it?”
The question lingered in the air, unanswered. They swung in silence for a moment, each lost in their thoughts. The connection they shared felt as real as ever, yet the reality of their separate lives loomed large.
After leaving the park, they drove past their old high school. Connor slowed down, memories flooding back. “Can you believe we actually graduated?” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yeah, and now look at us,” Y/N said with a hint of irony. “You’re an NHL player, and I’m… well, trying to figure out college.”
“Hey, you’re doing amazing,” he reassured her. “You’ve always been the smart one.”
As they reminisced, the hurt from their breakup felt like a distant memory. They were just two teenagers again, laughing and teasing one another. The conversation flowed easily, the comfort of their shared history creating a safe space to explore the unspoken tension.
Eventually, they found themselves at the local diner, a spot they had frequented during their high school years after discovering it instead of the lake. They settled into a booth, and as they browsed the menu, Connor glanced around, taking in the familiar sights.
“I can’t believe this place hasn’t changed at all,” he said, grinning. “Still serving the best milkshakes in town.”
Y/N laughed. “And the greasiest fries! Some things never change.”
They placed their orders and continued to chat, the conversation flowing seamlessly. With every laugh and shared memory, the walls they had built around themselves began to crumble. It felt natural, as if they were slipping back into their old rhythm.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said before,” Connor said suddenly, his tone shifting. “About driving around town. I mean, we’re here now. Why not make the most of it?”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s do everything we used to do,” he proposed, excitement sparking in his eyes. “Let’s revisit all our favorite spots.”
“Haven’t we been basically doing that?” she asked, her heart racing at the thought.
“I guess, but I mean for the whole weekend. Let’s call this weekend ours… Please?” he said, a pleading grin spreading across his face.
She couldn’t help but smile back. “Okay, but I’m in charge of the playlist!”
They left the diner, laughter bubbling between them as they jumped back into the car. Connor cranked up the music, the familiar tunes flooding their senses, and for a moment, everything felt right.
They visited the arcade where they had spent many Friday nights, laughing over games and sharing fries. They drove down the streets where they had cruised in Connor’s old car, the wind whipping through their hair as they sang along to their favorite songs. Each stop brought a rush of emotions, a mix of happiness and melancholy that only deepened their connection.
As the sun began to set, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange, they found themselves back at the park. The air was cooler now, but the warmth between them was undeniable. They wandered to the same bench where they had spent countless afternoons, lost in conversation.
“I can’t believe how easy this feels,” Y/N said, leaning back against the bench, looking up at the sky.
“Yeah, it’s like no time has passed,” Connor agreed, his gaze drifting to her. “It’s just us again.”
“Do you think we could… I don’t know, make this work?” she asked cautiously, the vulnerability in her voice palpable.
“I don’t know, Y/N,” he replied, the seriousness in his tone cutting through the lightness of the moment. “I want to. But everything is different now. You’re in L.A., I’m in Chicago…”
“But what if we tried?” she urged, her heart racing at the thought of losing him again.
Connor took a deep breath, the weight of her words pressing down on him. “I don’t want to hurt you again. We’ve come so far.”
“I know,” she said softly, her heart aching.
“But we’re happy now. Can’t we just enjoy this?”
She looked at him, and for a moment, it felt like the world faded away. “Yeah, let’s just enjoy this.”
As the weekend unfolded, their connection deepened
As the weekend drew to a close, the once bright spark of excitement began to dim, leaving behind a lingering sense of melancholy. Y/N and Connor spent their final hours together in quiet reflection, driving through the small town that had witnessed their shared history. It had been a weekend filled with laughter and warmth, but the uncertainty about their future remained.
The day they had to say goodbye arrived too soon. Connor was scheduled to fly back to Chicago, and Y/N had a flight back to Los Angeles the next morning. They stood in the driveway of her house, the chill of the autumn air pressing in on them.
“This feels harder than I thought it would be,” Connor said, his voice low as he looked down at Y/N.
“I know,” she replied softly, wrapping her arms around herself, as if the cold wasn’t just from the air, but from the inevitable goodbye.
Connor reached out and took her hand. “We’ve always had something special. But with you in L.A. and me in Chicago… I don’t know if I can handle the distance. I don’t want to keep dragging this out just to end up hurting each other.”
Y/N nodded, though her heart twisted painfully. She knew what he was saying was logical, but the emotions they had shared over the weekend had reignited something in her she wasn’t ready to let go of.
“I get it, Connor. But I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “I wish we could try.”
His hand tightened around hers, his eyes softening with regret. “I do too. But we agreed to just enjoy the moment, right? And that’s what we did.”
She looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears, but she forced a smile. “Yeah, let’s leave it at that.”
They hugged for a long moment, neither one wanting to let go. But eventually, Connor pulled away, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“Take care of yourself, Y/N.”
“You too, Connor.”
And just like that, he was gone.
Back in Los Angeles, Y/N threw herself into her studies again. The first few days were tough—she found herself replaying every conversation, every moment she and Connor had shared. She kept telling herself that she had made peace with their goodbye, but the quiet moments between her busy schedule reminded her otherwise.
But as time passed, she started to heal. University life picked up pace, and she found herself surrounded by friends and new experiences. Slowly, the ache of their goodbye lessened.
Meanwhile, in Chicago, Connor felt the opposite. Life in the NHL had been his dream for as long as he could remember, and playing for the Blackhawks was everything he had worked for. But the high of being in the league didn’t fill the emptiness inside him. He found himself thinking about Y/N constantly—about how she had looked at him with such hope in her eyes that weekend, and how he had let her go. He had told himself it was the right thing to do, but each day, the weight of that decision felt heavier.
Despite the distance, they hadn’t completely severed their connection. A few weeks after their goodbye, Connor followed Y/N on social media again, and she followed him back. It was a small gesture, but one that kept them tethered. Small texts started to trickle in—wishing each other good luck during games, asking how school was going, commenting on random things they saw online. It was casual, almost like two old friends who had drifted apart but still cared about each other.
For Y/N, these texts became easier as the months passed. She no longer felt the pang of loss every time she saw Connor’s name pop up on her screen. She had started dating again, nothing serious, but enough to remind her that life went on. She was healing, slowly but surely.
But for Connor, each message was a reminder of what he had walked away from. His teammates noticed he wasn’t quite himself—he was playing well, but there was a distance in his demeanor. Every time he texted Y/N, a part of him wished he could say more. He missed her, missed the way she understood him, missed the way she made him laugh. The loneliness gnawed at him, growing more unbearable with each passing day.
One night, after a particularly tough game, Connor found himself scrolling through his messages with Y/N, rereading their short exchanges. He stared at the screen, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. He wanted to reach out, to tell her he’d made a mistake. That he was willing to try long distance, that he didn’t care about the miles between them, that he’d wait for her—however long it took.
With a deep breath, Connor typed out a message: Hey, can we talk? I’ve been thinking a lot, and I miss you. I want us to try again, and I’m okay with long distance if you are. I just need you to know that I’ll wait for you.
Just as he was about to hit send, he hesitated. His thumb hovered over the send button, but something stopped him. Instead, he opened her Instagram, a habit he had picked up over the last few weeks. He scrolled through her recent posts, his heart aching as he saw her smiling, surrounded by friends, seemingly happy. And then he froze.
There was a new post—a picture of Y/N and a guy. They were sitting close together on a bench, the sun setting behind them, casting a warm glow over their faces. The guy had his arm around her, and though it wasn’t an overly intimate photo, the look in Y/N’s eyes as she smiled up at him said everything.
Connor’s stomach dropped. His hand clenched around his phone, his heart pounding in his chest. The words he had just typed out seemed suddenly foolish, pointless. She was moving on. She was happy. And he had no right to disrupt that, not after he had been the one to let her go.
Without another thought, he deleted the message, staring at the blank screen as the reality of his decision came crashing down on him.
Connor shut his phone off and leaned back on his couch, closing his eyes as regret washed over him. He had made a choice, and now he had to live with it. But in the back of his mind, the thought that maybe—just maybe—he had lost the one person who truly understood him, refused to go away.
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