#for growing up with the internet im so bad at technology

[wildevenusian]

for some reason (i cant figure it out) the only time i get to listen to hits different is when I'm doing my training at work which makes it all infinitely more enjoyable but i wish i could listen to it more :(

[thejonymyster]

nine of clubs

in the spongebob deck, nine represents the conniving spongebob expression... there is a coy smile painted on his face but the eyes dont match it. with a furrowed brow, spongebob wants to try and convince you of something.

clubs represent wands represent fire... perhaps you will have power in spreading a bold faced lie.. (for better or worse)... or maybe you are feeling like you are being fed a line and it is burning you up inside... personally, i think its best to be honest or confrontative in a time like this and seek an honest, communicative resolution, but thats your prerogative.

trancefamiliar

im a bit rusty on yugioh but after reading up a bit: trancefamiliar is a psychic type effect monster with the dark attribute... dark, i read, has ties to themes of wickedness, mysteriousness, and... hey look, magic again! psychic cards often tie to themes of technology and altered humans (either mutants or cyborgs), and effect monsters... have a more literal meaning as far as game mechanics, but we can say this has to do with the effect that things have in your life;

tying into the previous card's magic connection, perhaps the effect of the digital world on your life (social media, internet etc) is causing you to experience negativity through misinformation or people misrepresenting the truth to you easily... you may want to be careful not to let yourself be manipulated by a coy liar... on the other hand, be sure youre not letting your own power online get to your head...!

alpocalypse

weird al cards are a bit more interpretive than the others, but this one has fairly clear theming: fire, of course, all over the cover, as well as an image of the apocalypse... but do note that this isnt necessarily a bad sign, as when we look at the back of the card we get more info about the album

alpocalypse, which "heralds a number of firsts", is catalogued under number "111", which is the angel number representing new beginnings... the combination of destruction and firsts and fresh starts represents to me a cycle of destruction and regeneration, where the old can die to give birth to the new. Thanks, Al.

Tying this up and wrapping it together with the rest of the reading, maybe whatever is going on between you and someone or you and the internet or something needs to end so that you can move forward into new things... maybe its the first time youve made a big change and all you can see are the flames but if you feel it could help you grow it might be worth going for :-) just be honest with yourself and ask yourself what you really need and if its something you can strive for, even if it means stopping doing something else

Or maybe I'm lying to you (like spongebob) on the internet (like trancefamiliar) because its funny (like weird al)

...

For more information, contact a professional.

trick or treat!

nine of clubs

trancefamiliar

alpocalypse

[steorn]

great news!!! I'm watching old Cryaotic Late Night VODs and being in pain.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crash Course - Bucky Barnes

a/n: this one? im in LOVE with this fic and im not even ashamed of it. there is just something about the MC helping him get used to living in the new century and im a sucker for it. so please enjoy this fluffy piece!

pairing: Bucky X Reader

word count: 3.6k

summary: Bucky is a regular at the café where you work at and seeing him struggling with technology, you offer to help him, teaching him the basics while you are both thinking about taking it a little further than just a crash course.

masterlist

The time between the morning rush and lunch time is always quiet, the café is almost completely empty, that’s why Bucky prefers to go out during that time, tuck himself away in the corner of the small but cozy place, a black coffee steaming on the wooden table in front of him, his laptop or a book or his phone reserving his attention, whatever he decides to put his energy into that day.

Today has been a rainy day, therefore the morning was a lot quieter than usually, not many likes to make an extra trip for a coffee in the pouring rain, so you’ve been enjoying the calmness, the soft jazz music playing through the speakers as you are putting away the freshly washed cups behind the counter. As if he has an appointment, Bucky walks into the café with a laptop under his arm, his cap hiding part of his face, but you can still see the shy smile on his lips as he closes the door behind him, the little bell chiming for a second time at his arrival.

“Welcome back, the usual?” you ask as he heads to his spot.

“Yes please,” he nods, shooting you a thankful smile.

You try to ignore the little butterflies in your stomach at the sight of the man, it’s almost ridiculous how you still get nervous when you see him, even though he has been showing up every day at the same time for the past about two months. You just can’t help it, there’s just something in those ocean eyes and perfect manner he always treats you with, something you don’t often get these days. Not many take the time to ask about your day or wish you a good one after you hand them their coffee, but Bucky is different. The same question falls from his lips every time you appear at his table with his order.

“How has your day been going?” he asks when you place the cup next to his laptop that’s loading.

“Pretty quiet, the rain keeps people away,” you chuckle, hoping your blush is not as apparent as it feels. “What about yours?”

“Just the same as usual,” he smiles softly and you nod, though you have no idea what’s usual for him. He might be friendly and quite welcoming when he is sitting at the café, he often chats with you about anything and everything, yet still, you know near nothing about him and his life outside of this place. It’s clear he is the kind of person that prefers to keep things to himself, but sometimes you are so desperate for just the smallest crumb of information about him. With the lack of details, you often find yourself making up things about him, like what his favorite dish is, where he likes to shop, what shows he watches on the TV. You might be entirely wrong about all of these, but it’s all you have.

Moving back behind the counter you busy yourself with cleaning it off as Bucky’s attention shifts to the screen in front of him. There are only two more customers in there and they are quite locked away in their own world as well, a college student working on some kind of assignment on her second espresso and an old lady solving Sudoku at the table near the window, sipping on a nice latte.

You can’t help but glance in his direction every now and then as you move the muffins around on the counter. He seems deeply focused, eyebrows knitted together as he is clicking away on the computer. From the looks of it, he is solving some kind of enigma, but when you walk past his table you see that he has an email open on the screen, his cursor moving around kind of aimlessly.

“Not finding the right words?” you ask, stopping to clean the table next to his that was previously occupied by a young couple. His eyes snap up to you before he huffs shaking his head.

“No, I’m just… terribly bad at IT stuff and I’m supposed to “CC” someone on this email,” he explains, using his fingers to air-quote as he glances back at the screen. “But if I’m being honest I don’t even know what it means,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.

You find it amusing, even cute that he is like an old man with these stuff. You’ve seen him struggling to type in a text message before on his flip phone that’s from the last century for sure and now this.

Placing the tray of cups down on the table you move over to him, taking the free chair next to him as you reach for the laptop, but you stop before touching it.

“May I…?”

“Go ahead,” he gestures with a nod.

You turn the device towards yourself as you click a few times, bringing up the option to send a copy of the email to another receiver.

“CC means that more people get the same email. You can put their addresses here. But you can also BCC people, in that case, the original receiver won’t see if the email was sent to others as well,” you explain patiently. Bucky tries his best to focus on the screen and what you’re saying, rather than the way your lips are moving and how badly he wants to taste them.

You haven’t been the only one feeling flustered and like a giddy teenager and Bucky didn’t choose this café as his usual spot for nothing. He spotted you the first time he stumbled in and the way you smiled brightly at everyone and the sweet chiming of your laughter made him want to come back the moment he stepped out that day. So he returned the next day and then the next day again… and now he couldn’t even imagine a day without seeing your eyes light up when he walks in while he can only hope you are just as happy to see him as he is to see you.

You help him send his email and you cheer in victory once it’s done and sent.

“See? It’s not as hard as it seems,” you smile at him gently, patting his arm that’s covered by a hoodie and your eyes fall onto his gloved hands on the tabletop.

“Yeah, I just have a lot of catching up to do from the past seven decades,” he mumbles under his breath, though he immediately regrets not keeping his mouth shut.

Your eyes flicker to his hand once again, then up to meet his gaze and he knows he just outed himself. He is expecting the usual: disgust, disappointment, even fear. That’s how most people react when they find out who he really is. But as he stares back at you, scared like a little kitten, you just smile back at him softly.

It’s not that you haven’t heard of the Avengers, because it’s impossible not to know who they are. You were just not expecting one of them to become a regular at your working place. The few times you saw him on TV he had long hair and his face was covered with a mask, so you’re not surprised you didn’t put the picture together. But knowing now who he is, you don’t see him in a worse lighting. If anything, you feel a little sad that he had to go through so much in his extremely long life.

“Well, feel free to ask any more questions. I’m not an IT guy, but I can help you with everyday stuff,” you tell him and he is in awe at your very normal, very sweet reaction. All he can do is nod as you stand from the table and grab the tray you abandoned not long ago, moving back behind the counter.

When you glance up your gaze meets his as he is still staring at you, nervous, a little anxious, but definitely relieved by your smooth reaction to finding out his identity. You shoot him a bright smile before moving to the table of the old lady who asks for another latte and as Bucky follows your frame move across the room he can’t help the small smile that tugs on his lips.

Your offer doesn’t stay unused. In fact, Bucky shows up at the café the next few days with a handful of questions for you, genuine ones, and a few he already knows the answer to, but wants to hear you explain them anyway. And you help him with anything, sitting at his table whenever you have a few free minutes between customers. He asks you about the internet, social media, online data bases and sources, going through a list from the little notebook he always keeps with himself.

The times spent with him are your favorite part of the day. You always look forward to whatever issue Bucky is going to bring up, fearing that one day he might run out of questions, but that just never comes. And you don’t know it, but your little sessions are the highlights of his days as well, listening to your smooth voice as you explain even the smallest things to him with so much patience, he is convinced you should become a teacher.

He thinks about asking you out every day, the question is always on the tip of his tongue.

What are you doing tonight? Would you want to go out with me? Do you want to grab a bite with me after your shift?

However he just never gets to actually say the words out loud. He is growing impatient with himself, he used to have no problem with asking girls out, but seven decades and another life as a brain-washed assassin later, this task feels way too impossible.

You’ve been telling him to get a smartphone for the past couple of days and though he seemed adamant, one day he shows up with a brand new one, still in the box.

“Oh my God, is that what I think it is?” you tease him with a dramatic gasp. Chuckling to himself he nods as he places the box to the counter while you are making the order of one of the customers. Today has been a little busier than usually, probably because of the special offer of 10% off from the new Cuban coffee beans your boss ordered in.

“I need a teacher to show me the ropes though.”

“Oh, Bucky, I would love to, but today is a bit crowded,” you pout as you put the lid onto the paper cup and hand it over to the customer, another one already walking in, eyeing the offer written on the black board behind you.

He didn’t even think you wouldn’t say yes, it never occurred to him that the timing might not be the best. You see as his smile slowly disappears from his scruffy face and your heart breaks seeing him like this.

“Yeah, sorry. Don’t want to keep you up,” he mumbles feeling defeated, but before he could grab the box from the counter, you put your hand on it, your fingers brushing against his gloved one, the tiny touch making both of you flustered.

“But how about after work?” you suggest and his eyes immediately light up. Spending time with you without any customers interrupting? That sounds like heaven to him.

“Y-you sure? If you have something to do, I—“

“Nothing to do,” you smile at him. You grab a napkin from the counter and a pan from near the cash register, quickly scribbling down your address before handing it over to him. “I’ll be home by seven,” you inform him as he glances down at your handwriting, noting how well it fits your personality. He then looks back at you nodding, as if he was just handed the best Christmas present ever.

“I’ll be there,” he smiles gratefully before stepping away from the counter and letting you work.

 Five minutes after seven, Bucky is standing at your front door with a bag of Chinese food in his hands as he is trying to build up the courage to ring your doorbell. He found out that you live just a few corners away from the café, so he found your address easily.

“Come on, dude. Don’t be such a loser,” he mumbles to himself as he circles his shoulders before finally pushing the button. A short, buzzing sound is heard from the other side of the door and he stares at the 6B sign in front of you as he hears footsteps from inside. A few moments later the door swings open and there you are, still wearing the same clothes from earlier, a bright smile adorning your face as you beam at your guest.

“Come on in!” you gesture for him as he steps into the small apartment. “Tried to clean up a bit, but if I’m being honest I’m starting to grow out this place,” you chuckle as you push a box out of the way. It’s a small studio apartment with everything cramped into one space except the bathroom. You have a double bed pushed up against the wall in the corner, a small sofa with your wardrobe next to it, a TV, a tiny coffee table, a bookshelf and a dresser, a little dining table near the kitchen with three chairs and a pantry right next to the fridge that stands where the hardwood floor changes into checkered tiles. It really is a tiny space that holds a lot of stuff, but all the gadgets and clutter makes it cozy, lived-in, a place that’s so much like you that he feels like he is peeking inside your head as he walks farther inside.

“I brought dinner,” he shyly holds the bag up as you lock the door.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” you smile at him gratefully, because you didn’t really have time to buy anything on your way home since you had to make a quick trip to the post office after your shift, leaving you no spare time before his arrival.

“It’s the least I can do for all the help,” he smiles as you take the bag from him and bring it to the designated living room area of the place. Bucky joins you on the sofa and he thanks all higher powers your place is so small that you only have a loveseat, giving him the chance to sit close to you. Your thigh brushes against his as you hand him a box and make yourself comfortable as well, starting your feast while he asks you about your day, listening to your every word intently.

When the food is gone and you’ve grabbed two beers for the two of you, he pulls out the phone that’s the reason behind his visit. He bought a simple one, not at all one of the latest versions and it’s going to be the perfect model for him to learn the ropes on.

You help him put his SIM card into the new phone and then you set his account up before finally gaining access to the phone. You start with the basic features, showing him how to make a call or send a text before moving onto the different apps and possibilities while he listens to you as if you were talking about rocket science, but in a way, it feels like that for him.

“And here you can switch to the front camera,” you explain as you push the button and suddenly, the two of you come into picture on the screen. “Perfect for taking selfies,” you add with a chuckle.

“Oh, selfies. I’m not too good with those,” he huffs shaking his head.

“Because you probably haven’t found your angle!” you smirk. “Everyone has a good angle.”

“You think so?” you knits his eyebrows together.

“Mhm, look!”

Opening the contacts you go to yours, choosing the option to add a picture that will show up on the screen when you call him, and open the camera to take one instead of choosing from the empty gallery. Holding up the phone you position it so your good angle is in the picture before snapping the photo and saving it as your caller ID.

“See?” you smile at him before handing the device back to him. He just nods, even though he can only think about how all your angles are perfect to him and that now he has a picture of you in his phone. “Let’s take one together!” you beam and moving closer to him you take the phone once again, holding it up in front of you, trying to fit both of you into the frame.

Bucky tries his best to focus on the picture, but he can’t ignore how close you are to him, he can smell your shampoo and your cheek is almost pressed against his as you smile into the camera. The corners of his mouth curl up as his eyes fix at your reflection on the screen before you snap the photo. Opening up the camera roll you take a better look at it and it’s probably your favorite photo that has ever been taken of you. Mostly because he is in it as well, smiling so sweetly.

“It’s a good one,” you say and as you turn your head to the side you realize how close you really are to him.

“Yeah?” he breathes out, definitely aware of just the few inches separating the two of you.

“I-if you had an Instagram I would tell you to post it…” you stutter as your eyes flicker down to his lips, the urge to lean in and kiss him growing with each passing second.

Feeling a little dizzy, one of your hands fall to his lower arm, the one that’s made out of metal and your gaze drops to where you are touching him, a panic filled look flashing through his eyes.

He thinks that this is where the moment is ruined, where you realize the monster he really is and decide you don’t want anything to do with him. He almost starts to apologize for God knows what reason when you reach out and your fingers start to work on the straps of his gloves. It takes a few moments for him to realize what you are doing, and he tries to pull his hand back, but you grab it stopping him from doing it.

“It’s alright,” you smile at him softly, your eyes meeting his as you finish what you started and pull the glove off his hand revealing the metal underneath the leather. Then you move onto his other hand and do the same, dropping the pair of gloves to the floor as you take both his hands in yours, thumbs running across his knuckles, feeling the difference between his own hand and the artificial one.

You see his jaw flexing at the touch and reaching up you cup his cheek in your palm, making him to look you in the eyes. The strong and confident man you see sometimes is gone now, fear and hesitation taking over his expression as your other hand keeps holding his vibranium one.

“I’m sorry,” it falls from his lips as he closes his eyes for a second.

“For what exactly?” you ask with a soft chuckle. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to hide yourself around me.”

“You don’t find it… scary?”

“Not at all,” you assure him. “You can’t be held accountable for what happened to you. Anyone who thinks differently is just an ignorant asshole,” you add grinning and it finally breaks his fearful expression, planting a smile on his handsome face.

Keeping your hand on his cheek you lean closer, your nose touching his but you stop before your lips could meet, giving him the chance to pull back. But he never does. Instead, he closes the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips against yours, finally making the fantasy you both have been daydreaming about reality. He starts off slowly, savoring each other gently, getting accustomed to the feeling, but it doesn’t take long before the kiss grows hungrier and your tongues meet in the middle.

Your hands rest at the base of his neck while his find your waist, pulling you closer until you swing a leg over him, sitting on his lap as you smile against his lips. His kisses feel delicate and soft yet very passionate at the same time, you love the dynamic you create, tugging and biting each other playfully, it feels like kissing him is the sole purpose of your life.

When it gets hard for you to breathe you pull back, eyes opening and finding his flushed face as he stares back at you with bright, joyous eyes, his lips slightly swollen, already making you want to go back to where you were just a moment ago.

“Who knew selfies could be so much fun,” he jokes making you laugh, his heart fluttering in his chest at the sound that’s so dear to him.

“I’m glad you liked my crash course on smart phones,” you grin down at him, your fingers tracing the sharp line of his jaw. “Do you have any more questions?”

Smirking his hand, his flesh one, moves up your back as he presses you closer, your lips almost touching his.

“Oh, I’ve got plenty,” he chuckles before kissing you again eagerly.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[guardian-o-the-books]

Some RotG Episode Ideas bc that Potential Animated Series Project Post by @lumin0usfox Inspired Me

(( i haven't read book 5 of goc yet so mega apologies if some of this is off (im writing this with knowledgeup to War of Dreams) and assuming that most people outside of the fandom haven't read the books. im kinda writing it for that mindset))

- Opening episode is Jack and Jamie working on trying to get Jack believers. hyjinks ensue.

- like following the logic that William Joyce has already set that Burgess doesn't really have a specific time. like yeah it's like 2012 but it's also in the past so the Internet isn't really that big of a thing. So they can't just make a blog post or YouTube video and have it go viral. so they focus on more in-person not-offline ways of getting believers

-or idk maybe the technology does exist and a youtube video goes viral and Jack gets a lot of believers that way. the rest of the guardians are just... "is that allowed???".

- I know this is super self-indulgent but can we please have Jamie and North try to teach Jack, Bunny, and Tooth memes please. if nothing else than as a running joke

-an episode of all of the guardians checking up on pitch to make sure he's not trying anything. and since Jack's lost most of his memories this could be where he (and the audience) learns Pitch's past

- at least one episode that's not too much of jack really interacting with the guardians or the kids from Burgess specifically and we kind of get more of a glimpse into what his life was like before becoming a guardian or having believers

-holiday special must include a party at North's. I think this might actually be canon actually. plus sandy goes nuts for the eggnog so that's gonna be fun. Sandy absolutely destroys Bunny at charades.

-an episode where Jack is kinda awkward and still figuring out his role and dynamic with the guardians. like North invites his to spend time at the pole after he learns Jack doesn't have much of a home outside of The Oak of Sorrows and they really confront that whole "u guess abandoned me for 300 years and now we friend and give me a second I need to adjust. maybe they learn about how lonely jack felt or that they didn't know how bad it was."

-episode to introduce Katherine and how she's really come into her role as Mother Goose. maybe she's spent sometime moving on from nightlight. she still misses him obviously, but she's recognize that jack isn't him anyway and i can't imagine her trying to force anything or interfere with his life if she thinks he's happy. if the episode doesn't start with "Once upon a time, ..." then i give up.

- I really can't imagine romance being like a main focus point here but the grounds are kind of already laid for Jack and tooth to get together from the movie. And also because lesbians are powerful and make everything better, Katherine and mother nature could have bonded over their conflicts with pitch and IDK they would be an absolute power couple. Also Sandy is a literal alien, so I don't think he really cares much about human gender roles or standards. Non-binary icon.

- maybe because Jack hasn't been able to talk to the Man in the Moon for so long the Guardians 2 Straight Up take him to the Moon to get closure. This whole event can be like a 2 episode special or something. Maybe this is where Jack learns the night light lore if that would be something that anyone would wanna touch. (i love GoC and I've been a part of the fandom since at least 2016 but damn i still can't think of a non-completely convoluted way of connecting Jack to Nightlight. Maybe something happens after book 5 that causes NightLight to forget about the Guardians when he's in his human form the Guardians don't know who he became when he became human so they lost track of one another. (It could explain why the Guardians don't recognize Jack is Nightlight even though they look exactly alike and act the same and have the same powers.))

- these are all really plot-heavy so what are some light-headed episode ideas?? uhh... let's see...

-Similar to how Bunny has egg hunts and tooth has puting teeth under the pillow, Jack and Jamie try to figure what some tradition for him could be and try to popularize them.

- Jack finds out north used to be a criminal and the Bandit King. it's absolute chaos.

- Jamie has to get a bit more creative with coming up with excuses for why he keeps getting caught talking to the air.

-So what if this takes place a few years after RotG. We can see has Burgess has grown a bit and Jack has to see Jamie grow up a bit and start to enter high school. he still believes in jack of course but it could be bitter sweet plus Jamie at age 14 would be physically the same age as Jack. ~~ Parallels ~~ the inherent existentialism of being immortal, u know, fun stuff (if done right).

-Jack tracking down his sister's family in the modern day to know they're okay and so he can see the consequences of his sacrifice.

-Sophie is Bunny's helper for the day.

-really just a season where jack figures out his place with the guardians and more about who he is. those themes of found family and building trust with those around you. oooh that's the good stuff.

-I know this is ambitious but maybe like the first season could be Jack kind of building that relationship with the Guardians and his new Believers with hints of who he was in the past and then like the second season is the deeper dive into who he was unlike it just gets really deep and oh my God I can't stop thinking about those now.

[pingvin-king]

the whole civil war within the brotherhood of steel was just one faction saying

& the other just being like

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG

[interstellarflowers]

i want you to know | peter parker x reader | chapter one

a/n ok, so this is part one, hope you like it, just a quick disclaimer this deals with some stuff could be a little triggering to some as this series is honestly kind of a slight reflection of some stuff thats happening right now to me sorry like i said though i like to try to harness bad stuff into something productive idk hope you guys like this im so sorry the pronouns aren’t gender neutral shoot me an ask and i can post one with he/him or they/them pronouns too if you’d like

t/w self-destructive tendencies and cursing

a/n part two idk how tf marvel figures age and stuff worked with the snap and whatever so im just going to ignore it too and endgame spoilers ahead also it’s going to seem like there’s a continuity error but i promise it’s not haha, im compelled to believe that the internet people may still refer to pepper as pepper potts sometimes whereas peter has respect and will refer to her as mrs.stark, because she is

i want you to know | chapter one: vast

chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | masterlist

“(y/n),” Peter looks at you in desperation, “You can’t keep doing this.”

“Please,” You turn back to Peter, “Just leave me alone.”

Peter Parker, years of training together, years of being a team, years of fighting together, trying your best to save everyone...Sometimes trying your best isn’t enough.

How did you end up like this? Why couldn’t you just control yourself? It was your body. It was your mind. It was yours, so why couldn’t you control it? Why did it hate Peter Parker so badly, when you were trying so hard not to. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Peter and feel the same way you used to.

So here you were again, sitting on the edge of the tower, lost. The city was really beautiful at night, well, tragically beautiful. The lights and buildings stood tall in all of their glory, yet the Stark Tower towered above the rest. You could see the tops of all of these extravagant manmade wonders. It made you feel so tall, yet at the same time as if you must be the smallest person in the universe. You looked out into the vast city of many people, and couldn’t help but feel so alone. The buildings were large and were something to be marveled at, all of the lights were wonderous, yet all of these blinding lights blur out the stars. Tragically beautiful.

Being a Stark wasn’t what it was all cracked up to be. Sure, the magazines and media told a story. They told a compelling story. The 21 Questions Interview with Vogue showed an extravagant life and lifestyle, a big house, cutting edge technology, the glory of a superhero, the glory of her Father to ride the coattails of. Seventeen Magazine painted the picture of parties, fame, attractive people...What they failed to notice was the emptiness of the house, how pain and trauma stained every wall. They didn’t mention how the only warmth in computers was their processor. They didn’t tell of the cost that came with being a superhero. There was nothing super about it. How could your life be a party when you were too busy fighting with every drop of life you had in you to protect an entire universe? Sure, there was fame and fortune. Of course, there was, but at what expense?

When your Dad died the internet blew up. You couldn’t escape it, he was everywhere. The curse of fame and fortune was that everybody was aware of it.

“She’ll be fine, she still has Daddy’s money.”

“Lucky, she gets the whole company.”

“Bet you she’s waiting for Potts to drop dead now.”

It was everywhere. Given, it wasn’t everyone, but nobody could ever come to have a complete understanding, they were too blinded. You weren’t a Kardashian, you were a Stark. You weren’t known because you thought you held the universe, you were known because the responsibility of holding an entire universe was thrust upon you.

You didn’t care about the Stark Industries, you didn’t care about the money, you never did. You cared about the man behind it all. The world saw billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist. Then they saw a hero, the savior. He was always your hero. The world suffered a great loss, but they didn’t lose their Dad.

Then there was Peter Parker. Peter Parker, high school student with mutant powers, this was easier for people to comprehend, easier to pity. You never cared, it never mattered you just knew he was your partner in crime. You just knew that he was your best friend. Until your Dad died, and Peter was put on a pedestal. It never truly hit you until you saw Peter with a certain pair of sunglasses. You could never let go of that day.

“Where did you get those?” Peter stopped in his tracks and gave you a sad smile,

“Mr.Stark,” Peter took them off and looked at them before putting them back where they were perched on his head, “I thought you knew-I, it was in his will.”

“Oh,” you looked down at your hands, and you knew you shouldn’t but you felt your body tense up and your stomach felt like something vile as you thought of the nondescript cube that your Dad had left for you. It was just something he had on his desk all of the time. You used to play with it all the time when you were a toddler, always snatching it off his desk until he took it away from you and replaced it with a toy car or doll much to your toddler self’s disappointment. Of course, it meant something to you, it was from him, it was his. It just hurt to see him give something with such a great attachment to him to Peter...Peter his trainee, not his daughter.

“Hey, (y/n),” Peter stepped closer to you, “Are you alright? Hey, I know it’s been hard...Are we still doing something later? I could really use the distrac-”

“I’m fine.” You turned on your heel and muttered something about being busy later before retreating to your room.

You wished that that was the last time you would ever feel like that. You wished that you could just bring yourself to be grateful that Peter was back, but you couldn’t, not when he was everywhere. Everyone saying how he was going to be the next Iron Man, and how he was going to be the next Tony Stark. You knew it wasn’t his fault, but it hurt so fucking bad. You hated it. How could people praise your Father the way that they did, and then replace him so quickly? There was no next Tony Stark. There was no new Iron Man. Only Tony Stark was Tony Stark. Only Iron Man was Iron Man. He was irreplaceable, why couldn’t they see that? How could they disregard you and Morgan so quickly?

“Let’s go inside (y/n),” Peter called you again, he didn’t know how to listen, did he?

You didn’t respond.

“(y/n), please,” Peter has this worn out expression on his face, he’s tired, he’s burnt out, “It’s late.”

You turn to face him,

“Then go home, Parker.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Mrs.Stark is worried.”

“...I know.”

“If you know she’s worried then why don’t you come with me?” Peter moves closer and takes a seat next to you. An uninvited guest.

“Don’t you have someone at home Parker?”

“Aunt May?” Peter chuckles a little, taking off his mask and scratching the back of his head, “Oh, she’s alright, she’s got Happy.”

“Nearly forgot about that.”

“Lucky.” Peter looked over at you and laughed, “Wish I forgot.” You shrug,

“It’s good to know that someone’s happy.”

“Happy? Happy? Get it?” You didn’t laugh. Peter’s face faded into a frown and he looked down at the city, “I miss him too, y’ know…”

“I know you do Peter.”

Your heart ached. It ached for your Dad. Peter knew him, but Peter didn’t lose a Dad, not this time. You lost your Dad. No matter how much people perceived Peter as Tony Stark’s honorary son, it didn’t change that Tony Stark had a kid far before Peter. It didn’t change that he was your Dad and that a large piece of you died when he did. Nobody could replace Iron Man, but you were his iron daughter. You had to grow up being iron. You had to harden yourself, be prepared for anything. You weren’t prepared to lose your Dad.

It was late, the city was vast. Peter Parker sat right next to you, but the distance between you and him was even more vast than that of the city. Sometimes you wondered why you allowed yourself to separate so far from him, why you didn’t just ignore how much you hurt around him. Sometimes you wished that you didn’t, but nothing seemed to fit. Nothing would mend whether you forced yourself to be around Peter or not.

The night dragged on and Peter stayed right next to you until sunrise. The worst part was that it was not an awkward silence. It was so familiar, and there’s something so harsh about that. They say that misery loves company, but you just wanted to be alone, but love was often misleading anyways. Did misery love company, or the idea of company?

The whole night you had three thoughts on your mind. Peter Parker, Tony Stark, and why you and Peter Parker couldn’t save everyone. A dream team in the newspaper talked about by millions, a speculated romance in teen magazines, a teenage heartthrob duo. If the team was so unbeatable, why couldn’t you save everyone? Why couldn’t you save your Dad? What about Aunt Nat? It was too much to handle alone, but it was the only way to handle it...alone.

You stared at the sunrise, the orange and pink colliding into the blue to make a beautiful lavender. The sky was too happy for a world that has lost too much.

“Do you see that (y/n)?”  You brought yourself to look at Peter for the first time the whole night.

Nutmeg hair that fell on his forehead like how waves crashed on the shore. Chocolate eyes that resembled that of a puppy. Broad shoulders, strong arms...He was still Peter Parker, he was the same Peter Parker you once admired. You hated yourself for resenting Peter, but you couldn’t bring yourself not to.

You nod in response.

“The world still turns.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“It should. It lets us know we’re still here,” Peter gets up, “I’ve got to get going, school...Are you coming back?” He puts his hand out for you, you don’t take it.

He asks this question nearly every day, ‘school?’ Too daunting. You had already decided that online education would be fine for you, until college at least, but that was later, this was now.

You shook your head in response. Peter nodded sheepishly before swinging away from building to building.

Now you had work to get done.

a/n thank you so so much for reading i really hope you liked it, requests are always open and if you want to be added to a tag list just comment it/drop it in my ask box

[nerdgul]

Could you explain the brain receptor thing and unmonitored internet usage?? I wasn’t monitored either and now I’m gay but like what else this shit do

i certainly can 

first off ill start by saying the internet didn’t make you gay. it may have opened you up a bit  and gave you more info on the subject, but thas you own shit my dude. good shit, but yours

and secondly, its way to late for me to be scouting academic articles n shit so this is gon be more of a long winded rant than anything proper. and even simplifying it down this is gonna get long and be badly spelled so sorry in advance (especially to mobile users who don't gets a keep reading break) 

*** now for the tldr; you may not have been monitored but things are significantly different than it was a decade ago. internet addiction is a much more prevalent and real problem. addiction of any kind fucks up how your brain chemistry. today’s tech is essentially heroin for kids and children do not understand the concept of self control. 

so children brains are not fully developed when they come out, but we’re learning and making connections from day 1. thing is is that when a connection is made it pretty damn hard to sever. even as an adult unlearning shit is a lot harder than learning it and when ur a kid your learning shit constantly and it gets cemented way faster. so essentially what happens to your brain in childhood will be pretty damn hardwired into you forever. (there exceptions of course but were talking habits and brain chemistry here) 

which means it’s super fucking easy to get a toddler addicted to shit. like stupid insanely easy. they're little fucking suckers for some sweet sweet pavlovian conditioning.  

but what qualifies as an addiction? a lot of people debate whether or not things like video games/internet can qualify as a legit addiction cause they aren’t chemicals that directly impact the brain but are instead things that cause your brain to produce its own feel good chemicals that still fuck up your brain. but they cause all the same reactions in the end. 

basically the internet make you feel good. you want to feel good all the time. you fuck up your dopamine receptors by overloading them with cat videos. it takes more internet to get the same good feel. you start avoiding other less pleasurable parts of life (school, family, sunlight). bam, addiction. 

i’ve seen toddlers that had symptoms compared to actual meth junkies, the only difference is that when a toddler has a screaming crying raging fit over not having their fix its seen as ‘kids just being kids’ and many parents will roll their eyes and to get them to shut up will just let the kid have 5 more minutes of screen time… or 50. but thing is, that shits not normal. sure tantrums every now and then happen but it is the responsibility of the parent to help their child regulate screen time because children are not yet developed enough to self regulate shit.   

this is especially bad for video games. it might seem harmless enough to hand over some phone game to your kid while your busy running errands to keep em quiet but mobile games are designed to be colorful busy give constant achievements and keep you playing (so you’ll watch more ads or pay more money). its overstimulation and the child doesn’t even realize it, instead they see anything outside the game as being the ‘too much’ and lash out at the parent trying to get their attention instead. 

and beyond the part of addiction too much screen time has also been linked to lack of sleep, delayed speech development, and poor social skills. 

babies literally need to be touched or they’ll die. lack of eye contact at a young age can fuck up their sense of self and connections to others. so if your a parent looking at your phone instead of your kid it already is teaching them the phone is more important. and when they finally get to the screen they will also start prioritising it over socialising  and i cannot stress enough how fucking important regular social contact with children is. they need it to develop right. seriously just look up ‘feral children’ and see what happens (granted those are worst of the worst cases but even self inflicted isolation still isn’t good for anyone). 

so what does poor social skills and a fucked up domaine receptor get you???  DING DING DING, LIFELONG DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY!! a slu of mental health issues just waiting to feed on them poor deep fried serotonin nuggets.  

now im not saying internet gives people depression. that would be a gross oversimplification of the subject. and in many studies its been shown the correlation (wich is very high btw) between internet usage and depression is because internet attracts people with pre-existing depression but when talking specifically about children who dont already have these issues its a different story. 

however if you were born in the 1990s to early 2000s you have a different story than children today. so far i’ve been talking about mostly toddlers who use modern tech (phones, kids tablets ect). millennials and early gen z era were a little special having grown up with this technology but in such a way it was much harder for us to abuse it. sure there were some kids who would play webkinz for 5 hours a day and live in front of the TV, but there would also only be a single computer in the house which the whole family shared, and the internet was probably slow so it was a lot harder for this generation to have these kinds of issues. TVs also had to be shared and had regular commercials and reruns so your get bored and go outside sometimes. no constantly continuous streaming of any new content at your fingers. things just.. didn’t need to be monitored as closely back then. 

thats not to say it didn't need to be monitored at all, but more so issues with technology were less likely to happen or developed to a far lesser extent. it’s also why i see a lot of millennials defending the internet. making memes about overprotective moms being worried about video games n shit. They dont relize just how different things are and what that means.

but the reality is technology as it is today is much different. everything wants your attention all the time and growing up in a world where you get your very own touch screen device at a young age to do with whatever you please, that opens the door to a lot more potential issues and they’re things we shouldn’t ignore. 

and thats not even getting into the specific types of content children could be consuming or the effects of social media and internet culture has on older children and teens. but thats a whole other rant. 

anyway if its requested ill make a more informed fully sourced post to tackle any particular subject with more depth, lord knows i’ve still glossed over about a million other parts of the topic, but for now hope this helps. ps; if anyone wishes to add on/correct me/phrase something better please feel free to doso    

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

[stfuisaac]

hello hello it’s lucky again and,, sadly,, we don’t have the technology that makes the thoughts we have just.... appear onto our screens yet... so this took a hot sec and still isn’t perfect bc i don’t plan on proofreading :\ but! here,, is,, my new,, drummer boy,, parumpumpumpum

‹ avan jogia, he/him, cis man, bisexual. › ISAAC BAROT is the TWENTY-SEVEN year old from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ I HEARD THIS IS WHERE THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE. ❞ they claim GET OUT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would BE OBLIVIOUS TO THERE EVEN BEING A KILLER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. their fears include MANNEQUINS, HITCH-HIKERS and DYING WITH NOTHING TO SHOW, and they don’t know we know, but… HE GOT INTO A (MUTUALLY) NEAR FATAL ALTERCATION WITH A STRANGER HE GAVE A RIDE TO (YES, HE WAS AN UBER DRIVER - HIS GREATEST SHAME). hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ PLATANCHOR requested by JOAKIM from STRESSED OUT penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: isaac benjamin barot

date of birth: september 12, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: virgo sun, taurus moon, libra rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: session drummer + lyft driver + ex-uber driver

mbti: entp

enneagram: 5w6

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “deja vu” - roger waters

BACKGROUND INFO:

alright. so.

isaac's backstory is neither tragic nor easy. his father was an immigrant who married his mother solely to get a green card (y’all, to be fair... the citizenship tests are whack). there wasn’t any real romance between the two, but the drop-ins always said otherwise. no, outside of putting on a show for government officials, isaac’s father and mother were friends at the best of times.

the best of times culminated in a son who grew up in an interesting dynamic. his father and mother never even attempted to be anything more than friends (with, as you can see, the occasional benefits). after the check-ins finally stopped, his father and mother even began sleeping in different rooms. his mother would trade in her queen for a double and replace the space his father used to take up with his cradle.

it was nothing like the ‘unhappy marriage’ trope, though... again, because they barely ever pretended to be married. they would take their wedding rings off when they went out with friends. sometimes they would even take off their rings around each other and talk the other up to someone attractive.

so it was unorthodox, but it was much better than his parents pretending to be in love in that way and giving him a skewed version of what romance should look like.

one down-side to it, though, was that isaac never knew who he was supposed to go to for what. usually it’s just a given that “if you need/want x, go to the matriarch, if you need/want y, go to the patriarch” but... what happens... when your parents are basically just your friends?

so thank god for growing up in the age of technology. like,, ya,, a literal baby can’t google things like “how to say ‘mom’” but a 15y/o can google “how to shave”

so... ya... his parents were his friends, the internet was his parent(s?).

one thing the internet couldn’t do? give him drums. it could introduce him to the likes of ringo starr, john bonham, keith moon, and ginger baker, but it couldn’t give him drums... not when he was only, like... 10, at least.

so he put a set on his christmas wishlist and figured they would divide amongst themselves.

so ya, his 10th christmas, he got a shitty little rockwood hohner kit that he would use for the next nine years.

he never received any professional training. again, he didn’t know who to ask and... youtube wouldn’t exist for another three years. he tried to teach himself using a few books and, if nothing else, figured out a few simple beats and how to gain independence.

after learning those simple little beats and not knowing if he wanted to buy the next book, he decided to take a break and, instead of going back to professional books, he’d just listen to some of his favorite tracks... most of which were ginger baker... which made things kind of hard when he only had one bass drum, two tom-toms, and one floor tom. those, plus the really low quality pearl cymbals. still, he did his best to make it work.

just a side-note that, because of videos of ginger, isaac used (and still uses, out of habit) a mix of traditional and matched grip.

he went back and forth between the books and mimicking the patterns of other drummers (mostly ginger) up until he was around 16 and his friend, ribs (y’all), decided to teach him a few more technical skills. what you want to learn for this song are polyrhythms, but those are hard and no, ginger isn’t using a crash there, he’s using a splash and do you want a discount on some better cymbals and drumheads from my parents’s music shop because this is a very functional kit but it kind of sounds whack

he continued using the same whack kit, but replaced the heads with aquarians, as per ribs’s recommendation (but evans and remo are also good) and, after literally examining baker’s kit, replaced the cymbals with various zildjian collections

even though we stan istanbul agop in this house.

he also started listening to more drummers than... pretty much just baker with a hint of john bonham, keith moon, and ringo starr. as his friend suggested, he tried out drummers like buddy rich, art blakey, travis barker, dave grohl, karen carpenter, neil peart, nick mason, simon phillips –– even was told to listen to ac/dc songs just to see how a successful band could be made using essentially the same beat over and over and over.

so now he had some split time. school. work. practice. figure out who the hell was making dinner that night/if there was someone making dinner last night because they might both be talking each other up.

although he applied to various colleges, and although some of these colleges actually accepted him, he ultimately decided not to go. instead, he moved from san jose to los angeles in the hopes that he’d find something bigger than himself... and a new drum set...

he found the latter in a ludwig kit with two bass drums, two tom-toms, and two floor toms. then he just added a bunch of stuff and tried to make it like ginger baker’s. pretty much spent all of his money on it and then some.

when his friends formed a band and found success, he was very very happy for them... but... he found himself stuck... driving ubers.

and lyfts!

he’d seen the twilight zone before. he loved that show. he’d seen the episode ‘the hitch-hiker,’ so he was really driving for the companies against his better judgment. 

his worst uber story? the time a guy got into the car, had pinged a location that was still marked as a store on the uber gps but had recently been torn down, and tried to attack him when they got there :\ he 110% fought back, though. was fired because the other guy was the one who made it out injured.

only drove for lyft after that :\

he did take on a few projects, but he... proved to be too much of a roger waters for people who just wanted to chill and have fun. there would be adverts for people who wanted to form a band and he’d be like “hell yeah! finally! a band!” then he’d get pissed that they advertised it so seriously but really... just wanted to jam. did not have any plans to try to do anything with it.

the few projects he did join that involved people who wanted to actually achieve success... if they were slacking, you best bet his inner roger waters came out! which is why he never stuck around in any projects for too long!

but ‘projects’ and ‘jam sessions’ were totally different. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a project? he’s gonna take that intro that literally everyone on the planet knows SERIOUSLY. you want to do ‘wipeout’ in a jam session? LET’S HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

he does some session/studio drumming for other artists to make some extra money while doing something he genuinely enjoys... but... still... it is no project™

in between things right now, he got a call from joakim that, while muffled and staticky, sounded like it said ‘get here, please’ and clearly stated where he was.

of course, voicemail lines were crossed and many many many essential words were left out – words that were basically saying the exact opposite ahfsdkjl. the shadow’s really playin them :\

so here he is, in all his glory.

TL;DR:

i was gonna kms if i didn’t play another drummer, so this is my ginger baker fanboy whose parents were literally just best friends and, as a result, were also both his friend. the internet raised him. started playing drums when he was 10 on a low qual kit with low qual cymbals that his parents got him for christmas, but literally why would you get a beginning a good set? continued playing. eventually moved to los angeles and tried to form many successful projects, but was too much of a roger waters. was summoned up here by the shadow man fucking around joakim. his greatest shame is how many ubers he has driven.

PERSONALITY INFO:

he will always say his proudest moment was when he learned how to play ‘toad’ by ginger baker cream all the way through.

big ginger baker fanboy.

loves the twilight zone and will just spill a random fact out about it every now and again.

a lowkey control freak which completely goes against the way he dresses and the vibe he gives off. 

is only a dick about it if you’re part of one of his ‘projects’ but aren’t taking it seriously tho :\

ok i’m too tired 2 write a personality section rn when im already rly bad at them but!! again!! feel free 2 j refer to the zodiac big three + the personality types!!

FEARS:

mannequins: they’re already creepy enough when you really think about it, then you add in that episode of the twilight zone where the characters wake up in an unfamiliar house and go outside and basically everyone is just a mannequin? ya he hates mannequins.

hitch-hikers: so, as we have just seen, he’s had it bad enough with people who were registered to an app, paying, their personal information readily available, etc., etc... so then what would happen if it was just a complete and utter stranger who didn’t have any personal information, any ping, and was the sole focus of a different twilight zone episode? he... is going... to drive past you. he’ll feel bad about it, but...

dying with nothing to show: here’s the money shot! here’s the deep fear! as has been shown throughout, isaac craves success and some form of a legacy. if he dies with nothing to show for his life, then was his life ever worth it in general?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, it might be bc im tired rn,,, but i have the most basic list that will hopefully be updated tomorrow bc it is SO VERY BASIC:

friends

fwb

ons

exes

enemies (much easier to get on his bad side than it is w/ fluke)

BRAINSTORMING AND/OR SOMETHING FROM YOUR WANTED CONNECTIONS AND/OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR!!!!

[goodvibesatpeace]

Astrology: Finding Happiness

Aries: Know Who you Are

Aries rules our face, our heads, our identity. Without a strong purpose or identity in life, an Aries may not be happy. Ruled by the planet Mars, Aries is our natural leader; they are the fighters, they are the rebels changing the rules.

I can’t help to think of Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell video, when I think of an Aries. They need a Cause, a Purpose, and they need to understand who they are. Quiet your mind Aries.. look deep within. Silently ask yourself “who am I?” and wait for the picture to come alive.

Once you focus on what you want, keep that fire burning behind it, you’ll get it.. and your looks will help too.

Taurus: Strong Self-Worth

Through Taurus, we understand what we value the most. Without a strong Self-worth, a Taurus may not be happy. Ruled by the planet Venus, our Goddess of Love, and the finer things in life, she is the manifesto for all these things, including our own personal finances.

Once a Taurus can communicate what he/she needs clearly through the part of the body they rule, which is the throat, they will become stronger, and instantly get what they deserve. They are the true Manifestoes.

I am reminded of the Fairy God-mother from Cinderella; all you need to do is wave that wand, and see the picture of what you want. Make sure it is aligned with your true Values, and bippity-boppity-boo, it will come true.

Gemini: Communicate Freely

A Gemini that is silenced, or repressed in expressing themselves may not be happy. They need the freedom to express their feelings and emotions through the best way they can: Words. Words are Gemini’s best friends.

Mercury is the ruling planet here: the planet that rules our minds, our thoughts, and all forms of Communication. In Gemini, it makes them the natural writers, poets, musicians, and speakers.

I am reminded of George the VI, who wasn’t supposed to be appointed King, and had to overcome his speech impediment. Then, once he had the courage, he became an inspiration to many. We know your dualistic, beautiful-mind has lots to say, and the World is waiting to hear it.

Cancer: Home is Where the Heart Is

A crab without a safe & cozy shell, where they can be themselves, may not be happy. A Home to call your own; a place where your emotions are free to flow with the people surrounding you(immediate-family, spouse, or children), that understand YOU, and will allow you to be just ‘You’.

This is the foundation of Cancer: The Happy- home. Create your sanctuary. You are the most emotional of all signs because you are ruled by the Moon, that controls the Ocean-tides. Resolution with mother/ father, and finding peace with your own upbringing, if there is karmic ties that need to be cleared.

If there are things that need to be said, say them now. I can’t help to think of the Brady Bunch; how two families had to live together in harmony under one roof, and they did because emotions were always talked out.

Leo: Express Yourself Bravely

A Lion without a Pride, may not be happy. A Pride has a purpose, and they look to the King for direction. An audience always needs to be around this gracious, Social- being; they are the Center of attention, ruled by the Sun.

The Sun is the light shining bright through our hearts, like most signs, but especially for Leo’s; they must discover what they love through Creative, self-expression. This usually revolves around overcoming some fear.

I think of Simba from The Lion King, who has a many lessons to learn, and overcome, but in the end, we all knew it was his destiny to rule. Allow your insecurities to fall by the Way-side. Do what you love, and do it with grace and passion. You are the Natural-born star.. its your time to shine.

Virgo: Love Yourself First

A Virgo without a good routine, physically and emotionally, may not be happy. It is not because they lack discipline, or are seen as lazy- quite the contrary. Its because they think of others first. They are the natural-born Givers, and Teachers; they are the Mother Theresas’, and the Gandhis’ of our world.

By giving up their life for others, they may neglect what they must do for themselves. Ruled also by Mercury, you have a naturally-organized mind, a ‘to do” list in your head of 100 things perfectly departmentalized.

Learn to Love yourself first. Focus on you, and then others will follow, and appreciate you more. Your family will understand that you need to workout for 20 mins before breakfast is started, and the dishes will wait without the dust running away. It will all be there for you when you get back.

You’ll feel so much better once you get the YOU routine in order, and STAY on track.

Libra: Balance of Energy

Unhappy relationships equals unhappy life for these loving, Bright-beings. It can be through business, or in personal relationships. A Libra without another person in their life(a close friend, relative, or a significant other) may not be happy.

Ruled by our planet Venus, this is where love and marriage is highlighted. They are the Scales of life; the ones who need to balance their energy the most, to feel alive and in good spirits. Work, social, and personal Time is all crucial to your well-being.

Don’t give too much of yourself to your partner in life, and don’t spend too much time in isolation. Im reminded here of Bridget Jone’s character; focused on her career, but has the support of close friends, and family around to guide her love-life, that is highlighted by a decision of two men.

Can she choose the one who represents her energy the most? Vibes attract your Tribe; stay positive, and do you, and the right people will arrive in your life.

Scorpio: Commit to Your Passion

If a Scorpio is not Passionate about anything in particular in their life they, may not be happy. The sign most associated with Sex, the Mysterious, and the Mystical ones. They are creative beings ruled by not only Mars, but the deep, transformative, icy-planet- Pluto.

The most Powerful sign, they see beyond the surface, and through it all. A Surface-partnership, Project, or Life will just NOT do. They strive on big-business and big-deals. They are not scared to explore the depths of the cold-ocean so many are fearful of.

I think of Martin Scorsese; taking chances of ridicule by bringing us movies like Taxi, Casino & Raging Bull, that explore the darker, aggressive, passionate-side of cinema. Death and transformation, is a big part of these movies, and that is what Scorpio must become comfortable with. The idea of killing a project, ego, or partnerships, to bring to life new people, projects, and a more awakened-self.

Boredom is Death to a Scorpio. Learn to Let Go. Be obsessed with what makes you feel alive. Be in Love with those who connect with you at the deepest level, and Be the Phoenix that rises from the grave, to bring your gifts to light.

Sagittarius: Keep Learning

A Sag that is not learning something new, or discovering new lands, may not be happy. You are the Philosophers, the Inventors of the world. You can do anything you put your mind to, and you need to trust yourself enough to Think Big.

Never allow yourself to become complacent. Jupiter, your bad-boy, big-ruling planet, wants to gift you with everything you Desire. When you travel, you expand your horizons, every place you visit will become a part of your essence, and Teach you much more about yourself.

It’s at this time that Saturn returns to your sun sign once more. Can you think back 30 years ago? What major changes in your life occurred then? Maybe you’re just learning NOW, the lessons that Saturn has bestowed upon you.

Its time to grow up, and see that the big-Changes have started to come into your life, and are for the better, if you can just- Believe. Your beliefs: Thinking of the movie Big Fish; many could not believe if his story was true, but it didn’t matter because the Inspiration it left us with was enough to feel like magic, that still exists in this world.

Capricorn: Keep the End In Mind

A Capricorn without a big-Goal, may not be happy. Our Goats of our Zodiac climb high, and steady, as they reach the Top of the mountain. Capricorns are ruled by our Time-keeper- Saturn.

Our Rule-maker, and even as the goats climb sideways, we wonder “How do they do it?” They believe it- that’s why. They know if they just Focus with the end in mind, they will survive, and get there one day, regardless of how much pressure they need to put themselves under. Hard-work, and perseverance never fails.

I think of the lead role in Shawshank Redemption to escape his demise; he made his way slowly digging a hole, little by little, year by year, not allowing himself to be distracted, or discouraged.

You of all signs understand that life cannot be measured in a year, or a day, and if a set back comes your way, you know you will make it to the top of the mountain again, just try NOT to take life so seriously, and learn to yodel along the way.

Aquarius: Stay Connected

An Aquarius in Isolation, may be not happy. You can be sitting in front of your computer, and connected to thousands.. You might even be conjuring up the new Facebook technology of the next generation, but you need Personal connections in this life, outside of the internet.

Community-work comes to mind, and being with great friends or family, is important to an Aquarius, even if they don’t seem to show it. They connect very quickly to many, and can disconnect just as quickly when a new topic, or new surrounding comes their way.

This is just their way of life; they are not being rude, or dismissive.. they are just learning through US. Ruled by the planet Uranus, their minds work overtime, and see things very differently than most. Sudden change, and big-moves seem to happen in an instant, and it’s how You handle them, that make all the difference.

Know that you will always be okay, with strong connections that last longer than others, and will always be there to re-energize you. Social networks like Meet-up, were invented for you, OR maybe you’re working on creating your own.

Pisces: Know that You Know

A Pisces that doesn’t Trust their Intuition, and seems lost at sea, may not be happy. You are the seers, and you probably know the next words I’m gonna write before I even print them. Neptune, your ruling planet keeps you connected naturally to the Ethers, but as you are the two fish swimming in opposite directions so quickly, you can Choose to disconnect this Strong-power.

Whether you use drugs, alcohol, or just convince yourself that they don’t know the truth hearts desire is you can’t run away from the truth. You are here to help others and guide us with your inner knowing.

Don’t slip away into the dark depths of the ocean-tides. Come back to us, take a deep breath and rise up through the surface and let everyone see what a miracles being you are. Your intuition will always guide you. The more connected and sober you go through this life with a spiritual practice in mind, the happier you’ll be.

[lokizalien]

Avengers: A Bleeding Rose // #2

Warning: cussing, mentions of sexual activity's , cringey jokes.

"Holy shit this place is huge..."

Samantha and Natasha walked inside the entrance of the building. Samantha's eyes wandering around the building as she followed the agent. There wasn't anything to spectacular on this floor, just a bunch of workers and agents that were dressed formally. Bags and piles of papers stacked up in binders and briefcases that looked like it weighed much more than the actual person, being carried around.

The clear glass windows that made up nearly 80% of the building, was mesmerizing to her. She couldn't help but smile at her current situation. 1// she was able to skip work. 2// she gets to visit shield headquarters and 3//she's about to meet her childhood hero. What was there to hate!? All the excitement build up in her head all her true feelings about the group which honestly was great until the doors to an elevator opened. Two men where standing there staring at them. One was dark skinned. He was tall and had a pure black trench coat on. His eye piercing and stern as the other was hidden beneath an eye patch. His eye following her every move. The man standing next to him was the one and only Captain himself.

Natasha smirks as she started walking towards them. Samantha on the other hand loosing her pace. Her eyes was focused on the two men staring her up and down. Their eyes practically looking through her as if she was a ghost, which only made her heart hit the pit of her stomach.

"Romanoff" Said the black male, his eye on her for a second before trailing off to Samantha.

"Fury" Nat replied as she stood next to Steve. Her gaze now on small dark skinned Detective. Her smirk only grew bigger as Samantha got on the elevator, her nails nervously tapping on her forearm, looking down at her feet. Nat cocked an eyebrow at Samantha before whispering something into Steve's ear. His blue eyes was hooked on Samantha, the once stern look on his face turned to a bubbly smirk as he stood up straight looking back at Nat.

Samantha rolled her eyes at Natasha's whispering, and was thinking about confronting it before 'Fury' interrupted her thinking.

" I would assume you know why you're here, Detective Rose"

Samantha kept quiet but her glare landed on the man, biting the inside of my lip to keep herself from speaking out of line.

"You stole something from us and we would like it back, but you see the problem, Miss Rose, is that we can't find it. Not at your apartment, not at work, not at a friend's house, or a club, but for some reason every time we look up the radiation signal for that stone, we always find it in a place where it shouldn't be. With you." His eye narrowed, examining her body language. He could tell that she was nervous and scared, as she should be.

"Sir, I'm sorry but I can't give you that stone"She finally spoke, her voice stern and cold, but also soft and obviously intimidated. She holds her breath as she sees the man's body tense, his jaw clenched.

"And why is that?" Steve spoke up. His eyes staring coldly at her. She couldn't help but slightly jump in fear.

"It's because she absorbed the Gama radiation from it. " Nat answered before Samantha could even start to process his question.

"What?" Fury asked, looking at Nat in confusion, Steve giving her a conserned looking.

" I don't know, it's just what she told me" she shrugged carelessly playing with her nails.

The elevator door finally opened as Natasha walked out of it. "Follow me, Samantha" she says still not looking up from her nails as she began to walk down the hallway. Both men now staring at Samantha with a confused and concerned the look on their faces.

She chuckles nervously, an awkward smile on her face as she slowly backed out of the elevator. "Haha.." she inhales sharply. "Bye" she muttered, giving them a finger gun gesture before quickly jogging over to Nat.

"what now?" Steve's eyes were on the floor of the elevator. His hands on the handlebars, elbows pressed against the window. "You said that the radiation was increasing drastically. Now if this is really inside of her, I need to know what's going to happen. Is she going to be okay? Is it even safe for her to be roaming the Halls?"

"These are all questions that I'm not qualified to answer... Natasha took her to a place in the building where she's away from the public, while we notify Stark about the situation. She's in his hands from that point forward." Fury replied, his eye fixed on the conserned soldier. "Only time will tell what happens next."

"Nick, for all we know, We dont have time.-" Steve protested. He was about to go on and on about the situation before Nick handed him his phone. Automatically he shut his mouth, glaring at him before he took the phone. A list of information for Steve's next mission was pulled up, which was located in Sokovia. A small huff left the perk of his lips, his jaw twitched as he looked back at Nick.

"Like I already said. Questions I'm not qualified to answer" he smirked as the elevator opened once more. He gave the captain a soft pat on the shoulder before exiting the elevator.

It's been hours since Nat left Samantha in this room. She was told to stay in there until she was told otherwise, which to her it was a bunch of bullshit. A loud, impatient groan danced across her lips as she fell backwards onto the couch. Her legs dangling off the arm of it. Her mind dancing around the fact she met Captain America.

'I mean yeah, he wasn't too happy with me and he probably thinks I'm an idiot but... I FINALLY GOT TO MEET HIM!'

She giggled to herself. The ends of her lips curling at the thought. It didn't last for long though. Her smile disappeared as she heard someone fumbling with the door nob. She instantly sat up, kicking her feet off the couch as her eyes watched the door open.

A deep red blossomed on her face. Her heart nearly beating out of her chest as she looked up at the man who walks in the room and closes the door behind him. She tries her best to put on her best smile.

"Hi Captain.."

She chuckled nervously, the man looking down at her with the sweetest smile, making her heart flutter. He tugged up on his pants slightly as he took a seat, his eyes never leaving hers. Samantha silently shifted in her seat feeling rather uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry you have to go through all this ma'am-" he began, his voice calm and rather soothing.

"but you put yourself in this situation. You do realize that you will get arrested for this... Right?"

The thought never occurred to her. She tried to keep her cool but everytime that sentence replayed in her mind she'd slightly choke. Steve noticed this, quickly walking over to the mini fridge that sat across the room. He grabbed a bottle of water and tossed it to her. Without hesitation she opened the bottle and started to gulp it down.

What she didn't notice is that the entire time Steve was giving her a worried look. She was still a kid in his eyes and watching her freak out over the situation was unsettling even though he knows this is HER own fault.

She coughs when she finishes the bottle. Her eyes not leaving her feet as she struggled to come up with a reply.

" I-im sorry Captain, but.. can we talk about something else..."

"Fine..."

He sighed slightly annoyed. He gave her a questioning look, searching her forest green eyes for any sign of pure fear.

"please.."

Samantha shifts over, giving Steve more room to sit. An apologetic smile plastered on her face.

"So..-" she began the echo of her nervously tapping her foot filled the room, making Steve crack a smile.

"How are you liking the 2000's? I know it's a little odd to be in almost a whole new world.

Steve smile only grow bigger as you looked down at the floor then glanced up at her. His eyes beginning to scan the room just admiring how different everything has become since the 1940's.

"It's home ... But it'll take some getting used too"

She chuckles softly " Go figure, I bet you miss the good days, huh?"

"Well things aren't so bad-" He started, slowly making his way over to the couch. The ends of Samantha's lips curved upwards when she caught a glimpse of the amusement appearing on his face.

"The food's a lot better, the beds are a lot softer, and the internet...most useful technology known to mankind and I still can't figure out how to work a computer, but I've been trying my best to catch up on that"

"Sounds like you've been having fun" she teased, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

He partially nodded in agreement. "It's much better than being frozen in the Atlantic for 70 years, I'll tell you that much" he replied with a smile, sitting on the arm of the couch with his arms folded, looking down at Samantha.

Silence filled the room as the two just looked at each other. Samantha's mind what shuffling, trying to figure out a solution. "Samantha Rose. Since I didn't get to properly introduce myself." She smiled shyly, raising her hand for a hand shake.

"Steve Rogers" A smirk appearing on his lips, as he took the younger woman's hand. His firm grip sending chills down her spine.

"Wouldn't of guested" she laughed, now feeling comfortable enough to let her sarcasm get the best of her. Steve just rolls his eyes at that.

"So how long?" He asked, pointing to the shiny gold badge she has hooked to the waistline of her skirt. A small 'oh' danced across her lips as she unhooked it swiftly and handed it to him.

She shrugged "About 5 and a half years. A technician for 1"

He nods. "You must be a pro"

She chuckles at the statement. "I wouldn't say pro, I just have good inspiration" She smiled softly, looking at Steve.

"Not to ruin the moment but your ride is here"

They move their gaze to the door. Steve's head hung looking down as he laughed under his breath. "Is every conversation I have with a woman considered a 'moment' to you?"

The redhead smirks at his reaction, she leans on the door looking at the two. "It's progress" she replied with the click of her tongue.

"Yeah, progress I'm not purposely trying to make" He sighs. He glanced back over at Samantha and gave her a soft, reassuring smile. "That's your que"

"Right" She picked up her bookbag and placed it on one of her shoulders. Standing up, she placed her badge back on the waistline of her skirt, both of them watching her as she did so. "It was nice meeting you Captain" she stated, before heading to the door. Natasha was slowly walking into the room as Samantha walked out the door. She looked over at Steve once more and smiled.

"Stay safe"

He nods, returning the smile. "I'll keep it in mind." A small 'tch' left her pretty smile as she walked away to the elevator that already had an escort waiting for her.

Natasha nods in amusement as she walks over to Steve. "So... She's cute."

"Nat...-" Steve sighs once more, starting to fix the couch cushions. A small groan forming in his chest as he sees her wiggle her eyebrow at him

"Finish gathering up supplies for our next mission, then you find me a date."

"Hey, don't get mad at me for being supportive" That statement earned a glare from him. He knew what she was doing and honestly didn't find it funny at all.

She laughs at that " I'm multitasking" she smirked patting his shoulder. "You should consider it"

[early-sxnsets]

No Wait Unblock Me

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43133210

Chapter 2/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1580

Chapter Summary: Simon and Baz finally get to "mutuals" status.

BAZ

For the third time today, I see a similar notification slide through my drop down.

bi-sammy sent you a picture

Part of me initially wants to sigh, roll my eyes, and swipe it away, because apparently part of me wishes to be alone for the rest of my life. Thankfully, the reasonable, tiny sliver of my mind makes sure I don’t make such a mistake.

Given the situation, one would think we’d parted ways. He makes a post, we stop the argument, all is fair in fandom and war. Except, now I believe Snow has grown under an impression that after one exchange, it qualifies us for somewhat of a friendship, and therefore reason to send me memes. Don’t get me wrong, memes are a fantastic waste of time and barely a waste of energy, but it’s strange that he’s not fucking off like most people.

Maybe I’m used to others being scared of me.

Maybe I’m used to others following my tactics of scaring them away.

Whatever I’ve done hasn’t worked, since this arse is immune to my attempts at coldness and mild animosity. I’m starting to suspect there’s something genuinely wrong with him, like he doesn’t get enough love and attention.

Guess that makes two of us.

I guess I somewhat crave this friendship. I’ll speak the truth to that and say yes, I smile when his memes pop up. They’re almost always fandom, and definitely made on Photoshop. This one, I see as I tap and let it load, is the crudely drawn Kirby graphic shoving burgers into his mouth, but over Kirby is photoshopped a picture of Huxley’s face and the burgers are Sam's ass.

It’s all poorly done and, sadly, extremely endearing.

My thumbs hover over my keyboard, cheeks creasing as I stare down at the picture. I lay back against my pillows, the curtains drawn and my hair pulled out of my face. It’s quite lonely; my life’s a sterile mixture of quarantined education and age old settled dust in my ancient room. It’s nice to have his somewhat obnoxious messages pop onto my screen, but it feels so odd. So foreign, and barely understood.

I want to understand.

gaystrell: why are you still messaging me?

I get an answer not even a minute later.

bi-sammy: do you want me to stop?

I don’t even hesitate to send out a reply, feeling a steadily growing lump in my throat, choking me mindless.

gaystrell: no.

bi-sammy: then why did you ask?

gaystrell: i just

gaystrell: don’t get it

bi-sammy: get what?

gaystrell: why you’d want to talk to me

bi-sammy: because youre cool

gaystrell: vexing me won’t get you “street cred”, if that’s what you’re after

bi-sammy: shit no wait that’s not what i meant

bi-sammy: dont block me fukc wait

bi-sammy: id just meant that you wrote all that shit and i thought it was really cool and

bi-sammy: i dont know

bi-sammy: i thought we could be friends since you did all that

bi-sammy: ill stop if you want me to

gaystrell: calm down you’re clogging my notifs

gaystrell: do that again and i /will/ block you

gaystrell: but………. if you actually do want to be friends i suppose i’m willing to give forth a little attention

bi-sammy: im osrry i dont speak posh cunt

gaystrell: too bad, blocked

bi-sammy: no wait unblock me

gaystrell: fine last chance

bi-sammy: bitch

gaystrell: b l o c k e d

bi-sammy: no but,,,,,,, i do want to be friends

I’m smiling like a fucking loon, scrolling through our brief exchange. It’s strange. Most people aren’t upfront about wanting to talk, or wanting someone to talk with. Wanting a friend, even. I have the people follow me and ask me questions, and of that only a small handful of those who actually interact eith me (and even in that, we usually only speak to give each other a helping hand).

And despite that, here’s someone who wants to try.

I suck my lower lip into my mouth, trying to think of my course of actions.

There’s a simple one I can take now (and probably should’ve taken as an initiative). I click his icon, and click “Follow” on his page.

It doesn’t take very long before I get a notification come through, starting that he mentioned me in a post.

It isn’t very long, but it gets its point across in the best way possible. It’s just a mobile screenshot, reading “gaystrell started following bi-sammy” with a quick caption.

god himself entered the groupchat. how do i block him?

SIMON

I wonder what it’d be like to see me in the moment. It’s a real shame Penn wasn’t around to capture it, since I’m in the middle of French class, but I must’ve smiled so stupidly that it caught the attention of the professor. He gave me a stern look until I set down my mobile.

The moment he turned away, I opened it back up and grinned.

At first, I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Him. Following me.

Us. Mutuals. Mutuals.

Of course I had to screenshot and post as a brag (barely humble, more metaphorically sucking my own knob for all my followers to see). Nobody really cares, as expected.

Well, nobody except the single message from none other than Mr. Bitch.

gaystrell: blocked. unfollowed. reported. waste of space.

My smile creases back my cheeks as they flush pink. I send back a quick message before turning my mobile over, foot tapping double the speed of the analogue on the wall.

bi-sammy: ;)

BAZ

He winked. Interesting.

I’m out of breath.

Fuck?

I lay my phone flat away from me, face down as I squint at my wall. I should respond in a composed fashion. I have to be clever, and not one-upping him is never an option. After all, does this qualify as flirting? Friendly banter? What am I doing with this random fucking bloke that I don’t even have a face to put to?

He’s my age. Roughly. Yes?

I check his tumblr again, as if I hadn’t just read his bio earlier.

simon // he/him // 17 // hold my fucking hand (please)

Maybe he’s just straight and I’m misreading it. Yes. Probably. Aren’t most people straight? Is that still a fact? (I highly doubt it, given how boring that must be.) But he winked at me. Somewhat prompted, I’ll give him that, but it was still a fucking wink.

I wink in texts to Dev and Niall too, though, but that’s different, isn’t it? I’d never snog either of them (especially fucking Dev), but hey. If unfaced internet boy asked for a snog, would I?

I’m too wrapped up and starved for human interaction to properly deal with this.

gaystrell: i will carry on with my threats, snow

There it is. Perfectly biting, while not being entirely rejecting. Maybe I’m better at this than I thought.

Or, perhaps, I’m worse, because even an hour and a half after sending the text, he’s silent.

I remind myself every few minutes that he most likely attends an actual school and has classes, but it makes my chest ache in the most unfair way every time my mobile tempts me with an unrelated notification.

I work myself to the point of moping down in the kitchen, slumping against the fridge whilst watching Vera make tea. She’s relatively silent, knowing better than anybody to leave me to sulk.

“You’re a drama queen,” she tuts, looking over me. Granted, I dress like a slob and borderline haunt this godforsaken mansion, but I feel as though that makes me entitled to being the way I am.

“I’m lonely,” I sigh, head resting against the fridge. It hums beside me, the chromed metal cooling my cheek. “Am I not granted a dramatic spell every now and then?”

“Not unprovoked.”

I set a hand against the handle, then let it drop. I’m not hungry. “What if it was provoked?”

“Is it?”

Instinctively, I pull out my phone and click it on. Nothing. “Perhaps.”

Vera frowns at me, walking over and setting a hand on my arm. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

My eyes slowly roll as I push myself off the appliance, standing upright. “Physically, yes. Don’t fuss. It’s just… online shit.”

“You spend too much time on the phone,” she sighs, letting go and going back to the tea as she fixes me a mug. “Don’t you think you’d be happier to disconnect from social media for a day or two? Go on a walk, see nature?”

I snort, looking outside. “And what? Trip and bust open my knee? That’d wind me back up in care for at least a few days.”

“You act like you’re made of paper and glass.” She offers over my mug, letting my fingers wind around the handle before she shakes her head.

“I might as well be,” I huff down before thanking her and blowing on my tea.

Once I leave back up to my room, I realise it's somehow more depressing in here over the kitchen with Vera’s disapproval of technology rantings. At least she’s some sort of company.

As I’m sipping my tea, I go back to scrolling on my laptop as a notif pops up, jarring me with the sound but letting me breathe again.

bi-sammy: why do you know my last name smh

I exhale slowly, smiling to myself.

gaystrell: you commented on my google doc, you idiot

[i-do-ships-and-stuff]

Hey (: I hope you don’t have too many requests atm and find the time to do this! A Supergirl oneshot where the reader is applying for an internship at CatCo and is invited to an interview with Cat. Can you flesh out the interview itself with the poignant questions and roasts and stuff by Cat haha? Plot twist is that reader is Felicity’s little sister in secret (changes her last name)so Cat won’t employ her just for that reason.Just some awkwardness and stuff?I already have an idea for a part 2😎

Ooh sassy! I love that you plan ahead!

An interview at Catco

Pairing: Cat Grant x non gender specific reader

Word Count: 1,451

Warnings: cursing

Gif not mine

“Oh my gosh...” You forced yourself to slow your breath as you watched the numbers grow in the elevator. It was minutes before your interview with the Cat Grant of Catco Worldwide Media. You had heard she was incredibly picky about who she would hire for the internship. You also heard she’s made every other one of the applicants cry.

“Calm down, Y/n. It’s not that big a deal. Just be yourself. Unless you’re too much like Felicity...”

Who were you kidding? You and your bad ass sister were so much alike, it was almost impossible to tell the two of you apart. If Cat Grant were to figure out that your sister was the smartest woman in the world in terms of media and technology she would hire you for that reason alone. That was why you had to use a fake last name. Maybe this way she would hire you for you.

You decided to check your outfit one more time, searching for any wrinkles, bumps or stains. Everything seemed to be fine.

Ding!

You stepped out from the elevator and was immedietly shocked by the amount of workers. They all looked like the living dead, their eyes puffy from lack of sleep and their hands stiff from their work. You knew this was your fate if you were to get the internship and you couldn’t be more excited.

Someone tapped your shoulder. “Hello? Can you even hear me?” You turned to see a frustrated Cat Grant, her eyes wide and her lips pursed. In one hand she held a very tall coffee cup and in the other her sunglasses dangled from the tips of her fingers.

“I’ve been talking to you, if you hadn’t noticed. This coffee is disgusting and I can’t find my assistant which means it’s your turn to take care of it. Chop chop!”

Anxiety swimmed through your body as you tried to find the right thing to say. “I- um- I don’t work here... I’m actually here for an interview. With you.” You stick your hand out as a greeting, but Cat looked at it in disgust.

“Oh... you’re sure you don’t work for me already?”

“I’m sure.” You said. She made a high pitched hum sound and motioned for you to follow her. “You’re early. I don’t like that. Throws me off of my schedule.”

As you entered her office you were amazed. On the left was a wall of glass leading to a balcony that overlooked National City. Right behind Cat’s desk was a wall of tv screens broadcasting the newsworthy details of National City. The woman was constantly connected. Even now she was staring directly at her cell phone while typing on her computer.

“Are you going to start, or shall I?” She asked, still not making eye contact.

“Start?” You asked as you sat on the small couch. “I thought this was an interview.”

She sighed dramatically and placed her phone on her desk. “Listen, Y/n, was it?”

You whispered the correct pronunciation of your name under your breath as she spoke.

“I’m not going to ask you any questions. You should know what I need to know about and if you don’t start telling me what I need to hear then, well, forget I even asked you here.”

This was it. You needed this internship if you were ever going to be anything in the media world. If Cat Grant dismissed you then your future career in media would be over before it started. You stood, made your way towards her desk and took a deep breath.

“My name is Y/n. I have little experience in media and plan to gain the rest here under your wing. I can write. I can proof read. I can sit at a desk all day. I can run around doing research all day. I can be an assistant. I can be a boss. More importantly I can take orders. I see how drained everyone looks out there on the floor. They work day and night to make you happy and I want to do that. I want to be drained an exhausted. Working with you would be an honor.”

The entire time you spoke Cat looked immensely uninterested. She didn’t look at you once. In fact, she had picked up her phone again. When she addressed you she mispronounced your name again.

“Y/n. You seem very spunky. I’m interested in spunk but I’m not interested in an ass kisser. As you said, I have plenty of people who will “work day and night just to make me happy.” I need a thinker. Not a doer. What I need, Y/n, is someone with some initiative. Someone who is more afraid of losing than they are of losing their job. If that isn’t you then you know the way out.”

You hadn’t noticed until now that you were fiddling with your fingers. This was going to be harder than you thought.

“Ms. Grant, the person you just described is me.”

She looked up from her phone and stared dead into your eyes. “Prove it.”

You scoffed. “How can I prove it when you haven’t given me anything to do?”

“I-N-I-T-I-A-T-I-V-E. It means you do without being told.”

“Well, I love the internet and media and-“

Cat groaned loudly enough for the entire floor to hear. “So does every millennial in the entire world, Y/n. What makes you different?”

You wanted to scream. You’re a Smoak. You couldn’t be more different. If only she knew who you really were. Then she would hire you.

You were about to rebuttal Ms. Grant’s attack when it hit you. Maybe, just maybe, you weren’t any different. Maybe your relation to Felicity made you think you were worth more than you really are. After all, she was the one out saving the day with her friends. You were just a dumb millennial with a knack for computers. A minute passed, causing Cat to grow impatient. “I’m waiting...”

You wanted to cry. Only a few minutes had passed in the I terrier and she had already broken your confidence.

“I’m no one, Ms. Grant. I’m poor. I eat too much unhealthy food and I use unintelligible slang. I try the new “challenges” that come up on the internet and I idolize superhero’s instead of worrying about the real problems in life. I don’t know anything about anything important. I have mental illnesses that I ignore by watching funny animal videos online and taking naps midday. I am completely worthless. Im just like every other millennial... I just thought that with you I could be more.”

When you looked up you expected to see Cat’s previous bored expression. Instead you found that she was smiling. There was no understanding this woman.

“Hmmm.” She began. “Understanding your weaknesses is the first step to overcoming them, Y/n. You have much to work on. The main thing, however, is understanding that, as you said, you are worthless. You’ll always be worthless until you’ve built yourself up from nothing, like me.” She placed an imaginary tiara on her head. “If you want a crown like mine you have to take it.”

Without looking away from you she reached under desk, grabbed a sheet of paper and pen and tossed it across the desk to you.

“Sign this. You start tomorrow.”

You looked at the paper and then back at Cat.

“Well, go on.” She said.

You grabbed a pen from the desk and prepared to sign on the dotted line, but just before you could you remembered what she said about needing a thinker, not a doer. “I’ll need to read the document before I sign, Ms. Grant.”

She sighed, but you could tell she was happy. “Very well, Y/n. Go home, read your heart out. But don’t think for a second I don’t know that even after that little dramatic outburst of yours that you’re not still hiding something from me.”

You tried to look innocent. It doesn’t matter that you have the job. She still can’t know who you really are. “With all due respect I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself thinking I’m going to investigate. I don’t care what it is. Your secrets are yours as long as they don’t affect this spunk you have.” She waved her hand at you. “Go, go. Chop! Chop!”

With a nod of your head and a bounce in your step you exited the room. You wanted to squeal to help with the excitement. “I knew you had it in you.” You said to yourself. You pressed the down button on the elevator. “This is going to be so much fun.”

I hope you enjoy! 💕💕💕