#for context i am a very white man. i am simply upset that characters are not portrayed accurately and at the (quite frankly) racism

[le--fruitcake]

Hello my leige, Lord of the Gays. This humble servant requests that you part your most correct cartoons opinions onto us all so that we may partake of your wisdoms.

How could I refuse a polite request such as thine? But of course, my vassal. Prithee, give me a moment to collect my thoughts before I impart them unto thee.

I refer, generally speaking, to the spinoff show of my favorite comic series, Usagi Yōjimbo, called Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles, as the "children's shows", though I may also refer to any of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shows as well— more on this later.

In Samurai Rabbit, the main character Yūichi is obsessed with the exploits of his ancestor, Miyamoto Usagi (宮本 兎), the main character and protagonist of Usagi Yōjimbo. Many of the fans on tumblr.hell grossly mischaracterize Yūichi as having a style of nerdiness that is very painfully American (such as enjoying pop music instead of Shamito Nadeshiko, for example, which is almost certainly something that would play in Neo Edo, the city in which Samurai Rabbit takes place. Yūichi literally lives in Japan. He would not listen to American pop music, mostly because he does not have access to the Internet. nor does he speak English), when there is, in fact, a subgenre of Japanese nerdiness into which he fits (almost) perfectly. This subgenre is called 歴女, or "rekijo", which transliterates as "passage of time woman", but is used to refer to women and girls interested in pre-Edo period (1600s) Japanese history— essentially female Japanese history buffs, usually into samurai and such. Usagi Yōjimbo takes place in the early 1600s— the beginning of Japan's Edo period. Of course, Yūichi is not a woman, but the sentiment applies. I frequently and somewhat jokingly use the nonexistent term 歴男 (rekidan) to refer to him and myself, as I, too, enjoy Japanese history. I replaced the kanji for woman, 女, with the kanji for man— 男.

(By the way, this show is For Children, and the animation is kind of terrible. I hesitate to recommend you watch it, but at the same time, it has many lines I am always quoting in situations such as Work and Any Time I Hear the words "Syrup" or "Accident" or "Grape", and some legitimately funny jokes sprinkled in. Also, the Japanese dub, despite not being the original, still manages to be better in most cases. There are some bits I prefer in English, and some I prefer in Japanese.

This is unrelated to anything and more of a nitpick I have with the show, but they state his name is 兎 友一 [Usagi Yūichi], which would make his family name his ancestor's given name— something that does not really happen in Japan, according to my sister, who is fluent and studied much of the culture. His name should be 宮本 友一 [Miyamoto Yūichi], assuming there is an unbroken line of sons stretching back to Usagi because of the stupid way last names work under the patriarchy, or if any of the women of their lineage made their husbands take their last name, or something like that.)

In terms of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it is important to note I got into this series because Usagi, the ancestor with which Yūichi is obsessed, frequently crosses over with them, in both comic and TV show forms, due to the authors of both comics being friends in real life. In fact, in every iteration of TMNT save Rise of the TMNT (which happens to be my favorite, despite this), there are at least two episodes that feature Usagi. I grew to like the Turtles independently, and made a post about them. In this post, I mentioned "having the most correct opinions about a children's show", and it is this that I quote all the time in my Esoteric Tags.

Anyway, Rise is the best Turtles because all of them are so well characterized, and the show has the very rare combination of good and stylized animation/acting, good characterization/writing, and a good story/premise. Usually, shows have one or two of the three, and you have to deal with the third being Just Good Enough to Keep Watching. Very much not the case with Rise, and I highly recommend starting with it if you want to get into TMNT. Music kinda slaps also. (This is a Correct Opinion because apparently, some people don't like this show. Somehow)

Side note about the crossovers: while the crossover with the 2003 TMNT is the most homoerotic (between Leonardo and Usagi), the 2012 crossover is the best, despite 2012 being my personal least favorite TMNT. Stan Sakai, the author of Usagi Yōjimbo, actually wrote two out of the three episodes, and they FINALLY got an actual Japanese person to play the Japanese character. That's a whole other can of worms I could open, but I'll leave that for another post, if I ever get around to making it. Suffice it to say, Japanese or Japanese-coded characters are, unfortunately, rarely, if ever, portrayed by Japanese people.

Hm. If I have any more Correct Opinions about Children's Shows, they are so correct in my mind I cannot fathom a world in which people don't think the same way I do, so I shall leave it here for now. I thank thee, my vassal, and pray you send me more asks like this in the future!

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[ask-idv-designer]

Just an advice on promoting your fandom related blog. Dont just start your art post with hate art, thats just all-around rotten vibe. It makes even ppl who dislike that character avoid you

In general i suggest separating memes from finished work or putting them under the cut, usually those clash with people wanting to reblog your post

But ye good luck on stuff 💐

I am going under the assumption that this anon either never interacted with Identity V as a whole or don’t understand Philippe’s lore.

I totally get what ya mean, at the same time the hate art in question was an artwork from my Twitter account I made in response to finding out Philippe is getting yet another skin in-game. That was the context which I forgot to include, which is my bad.

Just a bit ironic looking at this message because a good chunk of the fandom hates Wax Artist, including me.

Why?

Within his lore it’s been shown he makes “art” and studies a very outdated and highly racist form of forensic science where you would tell if someone is a criminal by their facial features. This type of study was obviously abused which lead to wrongful imprisonment or death of many POC individuals.

Philippe actively contributes to such a study with his wax “art” and used his own sister’s image without her consent to help further these harmful views.

They threw away a completely good design and potentially good character in favor of telling a tale of a man desperate to push his racist ideaology for the sake of “putting the real criminals in jail” aka those in the BIPOC/POC communities receiving unwarranted punishment.

I have reason to hate him! I am Puerto Rican. I deal with racism almost daily, and I most definitely don’t want to deal with it in my favorite game or media. Mind you, people use the excuse that Identity V is a horror game and that he fits the time period it takes place, the Victorian Era. With this I raise the issue of how horror media should be enjoyed by all, no matter your skin color, and knowing this man exists in the game is disheartening. That is why most of the playerbase avoids playing him. No one wants to play or interact with a character that contributes to racism as a whole. There are obviously people who still excuse his actions entirely or purposely ignore his actual lore and implications. There are those who acknowledge his extreme flaws and play him regardless due to him being “meta”.

Despite where people stand, I hate him with a burning passion and that art in my previous post was not the first instance where I showed my absolute disgust of his character. I have every right to be upset at seeing a Philippe in a match as a survivor or in Duo Hunter matches, and I most definitely have a right to express it through art.

Just cause I have an ask blog of a hunter oc who happens to be white, doesn’t mean I am nor do I support the actions Netease has taken to develop Philippe as a character. They could have completely rewritten him, scraped him within the design meetings, or ultimately deleted him the moment many POC players actually confronted them of their continued incorporation of racism into a, let’s face it, attempt to make a historical based horror game that pretty much has its lore held up by tape and string with so many plot holes, continuity errors, and slowed updates to the story.

So, I am sorry if it seemed that the art of me just wanting to burn Philippe to the ground sends a “rotten vibe” to you, but I’m going to put this next sentence plain and simple.

I don’t care for racist characters nor do I want anyone who enjoys Philippe as a character to even touch my blog with a ten foot pole.

People before me has made posts about hating a character before, so why question me about it? As for how to run my own blog, it is my decision alone how to format things and I simply don’t care if people avoid me.

Putting this in the nicest way possible, It’s their problem not mine.

I owe people nothing nor do they owe me anything, because in the end of the day this ask blog was made for fun and not having to deal with to explaining the obvious.

So please, if you don’t like it then please scroll and ignore me.

This is the only time I will to explain myself and I will be turning off anon for now because generally posts like these are ripe for more anons who would bring in negativity and anger. So I hope this clears it all up. I understand there is good intentions behind this post, but in the end this is my blog.

- Mod Neon

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. (Namjoon x OFC)

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess... more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

Summary:

"Wow. Is that that grumpy artist behind you? Jesus. He really looks like a bit of a dick. And you are right. He really is hot..." Oh no. Speakerphone. Namjoon was standing behind me and was staring at me. Then at my phone. He let out a little laugh, then raised his hand to wave at Tae and Yoongi outside who were now also staring at him as if frozen, before turning around in unison. As if that would help. As if he couldn't see them. Or better even... couldn't hear them.

[...]

Mister Darcy has nothing on Kim Namjoon - that new and upcoming artist you probably already heard of (You haven't? How dare you? At least have the decency to pretend you have!). He is cold, serious, and rather good at making other people believe he is a prick. Especially Elizabeth Bennet - uh... Charlotte - is about to lose it because of him. Maybe in a good way. Man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

CHAPTER 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the top of the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn't need much today to blow my fuze that had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week consisting of being belittled by old white men and endless hours of unpaid overtime I about had it. Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are horrible and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art and you have good organisational skills, you are resilient, charming when it counts and tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn't. It's too late to turn around now.

"That is why I don't use an agenda or notebook. If something is important enough for me to attend I simply won't forget. I know you youngsters are all about the bullet journaling and expressing yourself by mapping out your life but it really is just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work." For a second I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer's face, but that probably wouldn't have helped my CV and the new job I would have to look for starting tomorrow. At least I should have screamed at him a little. Mainly, that I didn't care, that I was on my period and my shitty shower in the shitty flat i shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning and that god damn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I had organized if I couldn't write it down somewhere. Instead, I smiled. Died a little on the inside and complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he would like another cup of coffee.

"What a dick." Samantha murmured, more to herself than me, after the guy had finally left, which made me snort under my breath. She usually didn't say much but when she did it was usually pure gold. In the end, it didn't matter that he was. Didn't matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he had bought from us over the last couple of months had neither been smart nor impressive purchases. Mainly expensive. And flashy.

"Doesn't matter now." I said in a sigh after a quick glance at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday I had taken two days off, about the longest break I had had this year and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be. In silence we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers that would come in over the weekend wouldn't have to suspect anyone was actually working here. - A white desk. A huge Imac on it. That was all they needed to see, folders and pens and apparently especially agendas to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight I threw on my coat and Samantha just gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me, just exhausted. "Have fun then? Don't get too wasted?" "Oh..." I said with a huge smug grin on my lips. "You have no idea... gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of 90s Euro Trash." I couldn't help it, apparently, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way that I'd probably would not have if it hadn't been for a bit with an audience of a single person. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me and I quickly turned around, slowly lowering my arms, Sam biting her lower lip at the sight of me standing there like an idiot in front of HIM of all people.

Men didn't have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were the ones that pissed me off most usually, but no one had managed to do so as much as Kim Namjoon recently. And now he was standing there, looking me up and down and stopping at my hair. The crazy too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke-hair. "Nice." He just commented and then looked over at Sam. "I'd like to take a last look before Sunday's opening if that is okay?" I stood there, my shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

"Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I will have to be home before that." Samantha replied and I was impressed by how calm she stayed. "Of course." Namjoon said and gave her a slight smile. "Anyone else still around? Chris maybe?" Of course Chris hadn't been in today. It was Friday and unless important guests had announced themselves the owner of the gallery wasn't around on Fridays... "I am afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?" Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed. "Wouldn't want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans." Namjoon replied before I could say a word. His voice once more dropping to a hushed, deep disapproval and his hands buried in the pockets of his rather expensive looking coat. Silence for a few moments and then he just walked off towards the room his exhibition had been set up all week. Showing without a further word that I would have to stay anyways if he wanted it that way.

"Well thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it." "I am so sorry. But I was serious, I can't lose this babysitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. VEGETABLES!" Samantha suddenly seemed in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse and showering me in promises she would make it up to me. Even though we both knew that wouldn't happen and wasn't necessary. Suddenly having to stay longer was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and I stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would have followed the artist, asking if I could somehow help, but nahhh... my ego was bruised up enough now, especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes. Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite. I had thought he was cool for about five minutes when he had come in the first time. We had heard about him for quite a few months before, I think I had even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to him in real life. He came in all cheekbones and sharp chin and an all grey outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He had also completely ignored me.

That's how it had started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot. Having studied art and its management and now feeling like a better secretary at times, when my colleagues and I were doing all the behind the scenes work while Chris worked very little hours and ended up with all the money and recognition. I was aware this wasn't the only field of work where this was the case, but it still frustrated me... I had imagined my life in the last years of my 20s to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending my Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to leave so I could lock up.

But what I perhaps hated most about him... was that I admired him. - Purely for his art. Really. Even the fact that he kept acting as if I wasn't around every time he came in didn't mean I couldn't admit that. At least to myself. The stories behind his huge colleagues were clever and thought through, but even without context, the pure aesthetics were mesmerizing. It was the kind of art that touched something deep inside of you and standing in front of it I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece I was the first one to sneak a peek in the back rooms before it was hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He is just... quiet. I think he might even be shy... stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks back. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Comments like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which probably would have been perceived as even more sensitive, but when had insensitivity become something to strive for? I had only kept quiet because I liked Sam and I knew what she had tried to say. At least I thought so. That I might have given less of a shit if I hadn't been rather attracted to Namjoon. Even though I had never mentioned it, she just knew. She knew if I didn't care about something I didn't waste my time on it. But if something made me angry or upset there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. But he was still a dick and I still wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour I walked up to him, a little speech prepared in my head about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around he just raised a hand between us to keep me from interrupting and turned away again. I hadn't seen that he was on the phone. "No, it's nothing, just one of the gallery employees." I heard him say and okay... if I wasn't about to explode before I was now. I stood there for a minute, fuming, and then simply walked back to the office area, my hand shaking when I started turning off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped but still felt good. Two minutes later the only lights still on were the one above my head and the one in front of the door. I would at least give him a clear direction where to head, he seemed to need it.

When Namjoon appeared out of one of the dark corners he looked even more annoyed than usual. Looking my direction through squinting eyes and his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he yelled my way and almost walked into one of the little flyer shelves. Wasn't the first time I had seen that happen to him though so maybe that had nothing to do with the light.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had put on my coat and turned off the remaining lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had almost found his way, standing in the open door, still on his phone. A little groan from my side when he didn't even notice that I was standing behind me went by unnoticed. Or simply ignored. But instead of the appropriate clearing of the throat or the maybe less polite squeezing past him, I just put my hands on his back and gently pushed him forward a bit, until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. Dropping his hand with the phone in it, for a second he looked like he wanted to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse. His eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I simply replied and stared at him for a second, then turned around and locked the two locks on the door before stepping over to the alarm system. I couldn't help feeling smug because apparently, he knew my name. I imagined him staring at the back of my head because he was flustered, but couldn't be sure. All I knew was that when I turned around again a minute later he was still standing there, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips pressed together forming a straight line and watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work around people who could get you into trouble?" He was right, he could get me into trouble. But I was too fired up now, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don't like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with those words he had turned around, coat flying open in the wind, unfortunately making him look really cool as he walked away and I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I kept my mouth shut and just walked off in the other direction, realizing minutes later that my car was parked the other way, but I kept walking for a while before I finally turned around. It took a while to calm down and only cuddling up to my cat on the couch to trash tv finally did the job. But by then I had realized something I wasn't sure I liked too much. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah I should have just played it cool. Would have been much smarted in many regards. But I also had somewhat enjoyed myself in the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense posture as he was towering over me... man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

[schleierkauz]

Q&A Highlights

Ok so bad news first: My questions were ignored. Cornelia did not clarify any of our death-related theories. Maybe next time.

There was A Lot of other stuff, though so... Enjoy!

- The stream starts with everyone wishing us a happy women’s day! Usually women in Erfurt (where the bookstore people are) get flowers but not today because... you know. Cornelia says America is starting to go back to normal, meanwhile Germany... :| Anyway. Don’t look over here.

- Cornelia says she probably won’t get the vaccine anytime soon because she’s just chilling on her farm anyway and people who have to be out in public/are vulnerable should get it first

- Question: When will Cornelia visit Germany again? In response to this, she gives us some exclusive news, not official yet, heard it here first: She’s gonna move to Italy! Apparently she bought an olive farm there which is cheaper, better for the environment (her current farm will be sold to some people who want to turn it into an organic farm) and obviously closer to Germany so she’ll be here more often. :)

- The 4th Reckless book will be released in English at some point this autumn

- There’s no definite release date for TCoR because she’s busy with Dragonrider but she hopes she’ll have finished writing it by the end of this year

- If she’s still alive after all that to work on Reckless 5, it’ll be the last book of the series... probably. She’s also working on a bunch of smaller projects with her artists in residence

- Question: What are Cornelia’s favorite stories by Jane Austen, the Brontë sister and Shakespeare? She’s not a huge fan of Austen or Brontë because she finds all those repressed emotions too exhausting to read about. With Shakespeare on the other hand she struggles to name a favorite because there’s so much greatness to choose from (she does name MacBeth and Romeo and Juliet though)

- The Black Prince’s legacy in the Reckless timeline may play a role in the next Reckless book or it might evolve into a whole other story. Either way, she’s thinking about it  👀

- Someone asks about Reckless characters and Cornelia says that Kami’en and the Dark Fairy felt very familiar to her from the start in that she always knew who they were as people. She’s not sure why that is. She thinks the Dark Fairy represents many aspects of womanhood, like the ancient forgotten Goddess. Same with Fox, who embodies different sides of that.

- If Cornelia had to date a man from the Mirrorworld, Kami’en would interest her

- Rainer Strecker randomly joins the chat to say hi and everyone is delighted

- Cornelia’s favorite book series is still Lord of the Rings

- Question: Why has the Black Prince never found his true love? Cornelia says she’s not sure that’s true - maybe he did found true love at some point and then lost it again? ‘...and they lived happily ever after’ isn’t a guaranteed outcome after all. Since he’s such a passionate man, she’s pretty sure he’s had at least one big lovestory at this point. She hasn’t asked him about that yet but hopes she’ll find out when she continues writing his story.

- Jumping off that question, Cornelia says she respects her characters’ privacy and lets them keep their secrets until the time comes to ask about them, just as she would with real people.

- Someone asks if Cornelia has ever written herself into a story and she says a part of her is in all her characters. Except the villains because she hates them. She feels closest to Fox because she also always wished she could shapeshift

- The bookstore lady jumps in and asks about Meggie, is she similar to how Cornelia was as a child? Cornelia says yes, especially because she also had a very close relationship with her father and they would bond over books. However, she always envisioned Meggie with dark hair and as a different kind of girl than she was. (Ok sidenote from me on that, I wonder what she means by ‘dark hair’? Because Meggie is explicitly blond, so like... dark blond? Or did we just unlock brunette Meggie in 2021? Cornelia-)

- Continuing the conversation, Cornelia says she doesn’t consider herself the creator of any of the characters in her stories, she feels like she met them and wrote about him but she would never say something like ‘I invented Dustfinger’ because that’s absurd. How would that even work. That’s disrespectful. No.

- Some characters pretty much demand to be written about and are very impatient (like Jacob), others are more shy and elusive and take effort to understand (like Will or Dustfinger)

- There probably won’t be another book like The Labyrinth of the Faun because it was created under such unbelievable circumstances. Cornelia does enjoy writing film scripts, though, like she did for the Wild Chicks recently

- Question: How does Cornelia come up with character names? She has a bunch of encyclopedias and when she knows where a story takes place she checks if there are any artists from there whose names she can steal. She always wants names to have meaning and to paint a picture of whatever character it belongs to. However, she says that sometimes the vibe of a name is a tricky thing: When she wrote The Thief Lord (which takes place in Italy), she thought ‘Mosca’ was the perfect name for a big strong boy. However when the time came to translate the story into Italian, the Italians told her that ‘Mosca’ sounds like the name of a tiny little fly. Oh well.

- Cornelia says a lot of readers have written to her about The Thief Lord because at one point Victor (the detective) calls Mosca (who is black) a “Mohrenkopf”. Context: ‘Mohrenkopf’ is a German slur towards black people and also an outdated name for this goddamn marshmallow cookie:

Fuck this cookie.

- Cornelia says yeah, Victor is being racist in that moment but that doesn’t mean that she, the author, is racist. Similarly, she used the term ‘Indians’ in Reckless and a lot of readers were upset which she did not anticipate. To her it’s a positive word since she admires ‘Indians’ so deeply and finds terms like ‘Native/Indigenous Americans’ very complicated. She wonders how much longer she’ll be allowed to say ‘Black Prince’

- She thinks it’s right to be vigilant about bigotry but simply searching for problematic words is dangerous because context matters

- Bookstore lady brings up Pippi Longstocking and how the N-word has been removed from modern copies (think Pippi’s father). She think’s it’s wrong because the original text is part of the cultural heritage and shouldn’t be hidden from children but instead explained. 

- Cornelia says that in America she sees the hurt that’s connected to that word but she doesn’t think it’s right to simply remove the slur and expect everything to be fine. After all, the text in which it was used is still the same so any harmful ideas would still be in there and that needs to be discussed. Simply whitewashing things doesn’t make them any less racist.

- Cornelia brings up a visual example: The Asterix comics. She always liked them but the fact that the only black character is drawn as a racist caricature is harmful and wrong. It’s time to listen when black people express how hurtful depictions like that can be. Many white people never noticed racism growing up because it never affected them and that’s why it’s important to learn

- The ‘from rags to riches’ American dream was usually reserved for white people and Cornelia thinks a lot of (white) people are waking up to that fact. The way black people are still being criminalized and the way prisons use inmates for cheap labor is horrible and like a modern kind of slavery

- The bookstore people try to say something but Cornelia is not done: We Europeans are not off the hook either because the sins and wounds of colonialism are still felt around the world, not to mention the way other countries are still exploited today. Our wealth rests on the shoulders of poorer nations. Many doors are opening and it’s difficult to step through but we have to do it and admit to the things we may have been blind to due to privilege.

- The three of them agree on that and go back to reading questions

- Question: What are Cornelia’s tips for young authors? She advises to never start writing a story on a computer, always get a notebook and collect ideas & pictures for your story. Don’t rush things. If you have more than one story, give each story its own book and feed whichever one is hungry. It’s important to follow the idea where it leads, if you use cliches your readers will recognize them. And then it just takes time and passion. And trust in your own unique voice. She paraphrases a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson who once said no one cares about stories or characters or whatever, people read books to see the world through the goggles the author puts on them. I’m sure he said it prettier, I’m paraphrasing the paraphrase.

- That said, Cornelia thinks authors who say things like “I’m writing to express my innermost turbulences” are kinda dumb. She thinks it’s important to write about the things that happen everywhere else and around yourself and to try to find voices for others, not just yourself. Just like how carpenters build furniture for everyone else, a writer should use words to build things for others, whether it’s a window or door or a hiding place.

- Speaking of notebooks, as most of us probably know Cornelia has a lot of those and occasionally publishes them on her website. She says she’d love to let people look through them in person, maybe at the new farm in Germany (Cornelia sure does love farms)

- Speaking of writing things on paper, all three of them stress that everyone should write more letters because one day they’ll be old letters and curious people will want to read them, just as we like to read old documents now.

- Last question: How come both the Inkworld and the Mirrorworld feature a character called Bastard? Cornelia thinks that’s a good question and she should probably think about that. (Am I stupid? Are they talking about Basta? I’m confused)

...And with that, the livestream ends. They’ll get back together to do this again two months from now, until then: I’m going tf to sleep

[ayuuria]

Yashahime Translation: Da Vinci Magazine December 2020 Edition

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

“Hanyou No Yashahime” Tripartite Cast Talk

Matsumoto Sara X Komatsu Mikako X Tadokoro Azusa

Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter and Sesshomaru’s two daughters play an active role in “Hanyou No Yashahime”. As an original anime with no original work (translator’s note: As in not an adaptation of something like a manga or light novel), the subject is the next generation of “Inuyasha” done in the same style. Being “Inuyasha” fans themselves, we had the three lead voice actresses talk about the charm of the series.

The main character design was done by Takahashi Rumiko!

Towa

A 14-year-old middle school girl. 10 years ago, she time traveled from the Feudal Era to the Modern Era and became the adopted daughter of Kagome’s little brother, Souta. Upon reuniting with her younger twin sister, Setsuna, after she time travels to the Modern Era with Moroha, Towa decides to return to the Feudal Era. She is Sesshomaru’s daughter.

Setsuna

14 years old. Towa’s younger twin sister. A member of the demon slayers led by Kohaku. She has lost her memories of her childhood and is unable to fall asleep. She has the gold rainbow pearl in her left eye. While she does not believe Towa is her older twin sister, she travels with her as she tries to take back Setsuna’s memories and sleep.

The 3 of you reacted shocked with “What you mean daughters?!”

Moroha

Commonly known as “Monster Killer Moroha”. A 14-year-old bounty hunter. When she puts on rouge stored in a shell with the red rainbow pearl on it, she becomes “The Country Destroying Beniyasha” and goes on a rampage. While she is Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, she does not know her parents and has lived mostly on her own apparently.

Komatsu: When the work was announced, the world was shocked like “Sesshomaru has a daughter?!” and we were the same. When I opened the audition documents, it was written that the setting takes place over 10 years after the conclusion of the original work and that Setsuna, who I was auditioning for, is Sesshomaru’s daughter. I thought “What does this mean?” and reflexively grabbed the last volume of the manga.

Matsumoto: I was handed Takahashi Rumiko-sensei’s character design and a simple correlation diagram. In regards to Towa, who I auditioned for, it was also written that all that was known was that she is Sesshomaru’s daughter. I was given lines without knowing the context or anything so I wondered what to do. However, at the same time, I was so happy to the point that I was like “The “Inuyasha” world is coming back!”

Tadokoro: I completely freaked out (laughs). Also, my manager knew I was big fan of “Inuyasha” and calmly told me before I looked at the audition documents “Azusa, you absolutely can’t miss out on this. This a huge opportunity.”

Komatsu: A lot of pressure!

Tadokoro: Then when I looked at the documents, I saw that Moroha, who I was auditioning for, was the daughter of Inuyasha and Kagome. After getting excited like “They had a child~!”, I saw Towa and Setsuna and screamed “I will be upset if they’re not XX’s children!” (translator’s note: they’re referring to the mother)

Komatsu and Matsumoto: I know!

Tadokoro: As a fan, I worried endlessly but as a voice actress, I thought I couldn’t miss out on this. However, when I went to the studio audition, I was told “Keep the base but try to say these lines a little more like a middle-aged man”. I became flustered like “Even though she’s a 14-year-old girl?” … I felt like I didn’t respond properly and was really down going home.

Komatsu: Me too. Maybe it was because I was pulling too strongly from Sesshomaru’s image but I was told “Not only coolness but we would also like for you to show the cuteness of a 14-year-old” and I couldn’t make the switch the very well. I didn’t get the reaction that I got the part at all.

Matsumoto: I over considered the setting of (Towa) wearing a boy’s uniform and I was told “Don’t make her a boy”. After that no matter how many retries I did, the direction I took didn’t match up… I cried a lot when I got home like “I totally bombed it”. That moment, I realized that I had really wanted the part and was surprised. “Inuyasha” was a work that was more special to me than I thought.

Overcoming different boundaries, their feelings melt together

Komatsu: For me, “Inuyasha” was also a textbook on love. Especially the relationship between Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyou. It’s a little hard for kids to understand and I thought, “Why does Kikyou always get in the way?” and “Inuyasha too, make up your mind” but in a certain scene, Kagome asks Inuyasha “I… What exactly am I to you?”. In between the feelings of it can’t be helped that he overlaps her face with Kikyou’s and this has nothing to do with her, she properly checked what her existence meant to him. Seeing that, I realized. Not only in love but that’s important in life in general as well.

Tadokoro: It’s so cool isn’t it? She acknowledged all her feelings of jealousy and hate towards Kikyou and still saved her on top of that. She showed us her resolve to properly face her heart and Kikyou and accept them. It was so cool that I cried. Then when I became an adult, I came to understand Kikyou’s feelings and it hurt.

Matsumoto: Well she was also a victim… I think when you read “Inuyasha”, you become emotionally attached to each individual character because depictions that give you a sense that they’re “alive” are inlaid in all sorts of places. For example, the scene in volume 1 where Kagome offers food to Inuyasha whom she had just met. While Inuyasha makes his wariness known, he takes a bite of the radish in the next frame. I always laugh like “Even though you say it’s annoying, you’re still eating it!” but at the same time I feel that it’s really “like” him. From those ordinary depictions, over time we accept “something” without realizing it. That accumulation turns into a big emotion that overflows when you get to the important scenes.

Komatsu: At times when those complexly wrapped emotions sublimate, even sad endings become beautiful. For example, Kagura. Even though she was born from Naraku, she was guided to good through Inuyasha and the others who were supposed to be her enemy. Kagome and Kikyou’s relationship too but ally or enemy, good or evil, all sorts of borders are crossed and seeing drawings of humans and demons coming together I think is the charm of “Inuyasha”.

We haven’t been told the answers to the mysteries

Matsumoto: Continuing onward to “Hanyou no Yashahime”, the character I play, Towa, passed through space-time and got sent to the Modern Era at age 4. However, possibly because she was raised by Kagome’s little brother, Souta, even though she is Sesshomaru’s daughter, I feel like she’s also similar to Kagome.

Komatsu: While blood inheritance is important, the person who raised you has a big influence as well. Also, what environment you were raised in. Setsuna lost her childhood memories due to certain circumstances. So of course, she doesn’t remember her older twin sister, Towa, whom she got separated from at 4 years old. Due to that hole and being raised in an environment where you could be killed by anyone at any time, she gives off an air of not allowing others to get close to her. But just when you think that, there are times where you can feel that she’s actually kind and that makes it heartrending.

Matsumoto: Feeling she (Towa) needs to fill in the 10-year void with Setsuna who became like that, the highlight is seeing their relationship change as Towa closes the gap between them. Add Moroha in and there’s a lot of chattering.

Tadokoro: Moroha speaks in a vulgar manner (translator’s note: it actually translates to abusive language but abusive didn’t sound right to me) but in reality, I have a feeling that she truly enjoys traveling with the two of them. To her, those two are probably the first friends she has ever had. That form is so precious and I feel lonely when I wonder what sort of environment she grew up in. I wonder why she’s desperately earning money by slaying demons. We were only told who she was raised by but at this time, we have not been told things like happened to Inuyasha and Kagome.

Matsumoto: This includes who Towa and Setsuna’s mother is. This is something fans have been wondering the most but the answers will be revealed eventually and I have faith that this work will properly continue on what was drawn in “Inuyasha”.

Tadokoro: That’s why we would like everyone to watch over them until the very end and love the 3 Yashahimes as they survive with each of their individual strengths.

Komatsu: While there are a lot of cheerful episodes, there will be times when the inlaid depictions within those episodes will be collected in an instant which I think people will enjoy. For that, we will give it our all!

We Asked Takahashi-sensei!

Q: What did you especially focus on when doing the character design?

A: Series composition writer Sumisawa (Katsuyuki) requested me to draw the image of Towa as a white Sesshomaru and Setsuna as a black Sesshomaru. Upon reading the scenario, I designed them incorporating their father’s facial look. Moroha was the same, being Inuyasha and Kagome’s child. As such, I made it so that Inuyasha’s mischievousness came through.

[neerasrealm]

bRO jason or LJ would be great with the record scratch one imo HSHSH

WHEN I SAW JASON AS AN OPTION I LOST IT FHGSDHF. Anyway hi this story is basically Jason getting bullied by Kate the Chaser for 2000+ words. Enjoy.

*record scratch* 

*freeze frame* 

Yep, that’s me. No, not the vague figure you’re imagining now from the zero amount of information I’ve given you, and no, I’m not the heroic yet relatable main-character you’d expect either. I’m the one that’s currently, and quite poetically, hiding in the corner of a chicken coop. Yeah, that’s the one.

Hi, I'm Jason. I'm a toymaker. And also half- or maybe three quarters demon because I work for an immortal god of chaos and destruction. And for a little more context, I'm in a chicken coop because things went horribly, horribly wrong. 

I was given one simple task. Spy on a woman named Kate. Okay, no problem. She's human, average height and weight. Nothing to be concerned about. The only foreseeable threat was the fact that she works for my boss's biggest rival. A man named Slender. I would say creature, but from what I've heard he's rather good at acting civilised, though I've also heard that it's all just an act to lower guards. Regardless, I had no fear of her.

No fear that is, until she happened to catch me watching her via my pet surveillance mouse, Licorice. She smacked the poor thing with a rake! A rake! My poor innocent little surveillance drone...Licorice wouldn't harm a fly…

Eh-hem. Anyway- after she found and assaulted Licorice I tried to make my escape- but she caught me. So I hid in the only place I could. 

The chicken coop. 

And that's where I am now. Curled up amongst feathers, grain and very upset birds. If I wasn't trying to be quiet, I would've killed them by now. Especially the one that’s pecking my leg. Rude bitch. I have half a mind to strangle you, you know that, chicken?

Wait.

Oh no.

I hear footsteps.

The door to the chicken coop is yanked open and suddenly I’m being glared at by an angry asian lady wearing black and white flannel. 

‘’Get outta my coop, bitch boy.’’

Okay, first of all, rude. Second of all, RUDE. third of all,

‘’No.’’

She glares at me.

‘’Alright, that’s it.’’

She climbs into the fucking chicken coop, grabs me by my EXPENSIVE knee high boots and YANKS me out of the coop with strength I didn’t expect from her. I scream and thrash about and kick at her until she lets me go. She stands over me, glaring. I glare right back. She puts her hands on her hips, channeling the energy of an angry texan grandma. If I wasn’t British I’d probably be terrified right now. 

‘’Who gave you permission to go snoopin’ around my property?’’

‘’I don’t need permission to snoop anywhere,’’ I growl back. ‘’I do as I please.’’

"So you admit you WERE snoopin'!" She points an accusing finger at me. 

"No, I was just saying I don't need permission to snoop." I cross my arms and give her a smug look. The word snoop sounds really weird now that we keep saying i- "AH!" 

She yanks me by the collar of my rather EXPENSIVE shirt. Blue eyes glare into mine between strands of dark hair. ‘’Jason,’’ she growls. ‘’Tell me what the fuck you’re doing here before I crack your skull open like an over-ripe cantaloupe.’’

I glare at her. ‘’...Fine.’’ I sigh. ‘’I was asked to look into you since you’ve changed location. It was suspected that you were doing something, or perhaps Slender had changed his base of operat-’’ I’m interrupted by her letting go of my collar and rudely placing her muddy boot on my nice clean clothes. ‘’HEY!’’

‘’I fucking moved out, Jason. Jesus. Can Zalgo just calm his tits? Do I have to live in fear of the bastard for the rest of my life just because of Slender?’’

‘’Yes, you do.’’ I glare at her. ‘’Maybe you should have considered that before becoming his proxy.’’ She rolls her eyes and lifts her foot off of me. I brush dirt off myself but- that mud isn’t going to come off easily...these were expensive clothes too…

‘’Get up.’’

‘’I’m not taking orders from you!’’

‘’Then maybe I should tell Slender I found a creepy redhead sitting up a tree watching me!’’

"Hey! I am not creepy!" 

Kate glares down at me, her hands on her hips again. After a few moments of stubborn silence, I stand up and brush dirt off myself. She folds her arms.

"I won't tell Slender about this if you do somethin' for me." She says. I squint.

"Are you trying to blackmail me?" I murmur. She nods.

"Yep. I have a fence that needs fixin', along with some stuff in the house and fields. If ya help me I won't tell Slenderman I found ya creepin' around my property."

What the hell does this woman take me for? I'm not going to let her blackmail me! I glare at her and cross my arms. "Absolutely not." I say before turning and walking away. Hah! That'll show her! I'm simply going to walk away from my problems!

"Aren't ya forgettin’ somethin'?" I turn and look at her and stare in horror. She's holding my beloved mouse from her tail, swinging her from side to side like she's a toy rather than a beloved pet!

"LICORICE!" I yelp and run towards her to grab back my poor pet. Kate moves out of the way with surprising speed. I suppose that's why her nickname is 'The Chaser'. 

"Ah ah ah." She wags a finger at me, teasing me. "Not until you help me."

"What?!" Licorice is being held ransom now?! I stare at Kate in horror. She smirks. "...fine! Fine, I'll do it! Just- don't hurt licorice...please…"

"That's the spirit, jacey-boy!" She chirps. Dear god I hope she never calls me that again. She stuffs licorice back into her pocket and smiles smugly. "Now c'mon."

Begrudgingly, I follow her to her home. It’s a large country house, with a spacious wooden deck. Inside is just as cozy as you’d expect. This is actually a nice place- I wouldn’t mind living here myself if it wasn’t on a farm. I don’t like farms. They smell bad.

‘’Alright, here we go.’’ She leads me into the kitchen. There’s a toolbag on the kitchen table. She picks it up and holds it out to me. ‘’There’s some broken bannisters on the stairs. Think you can fix them up?’’

‘’I guess if there’s replacement bannisters.’’ I grunt. 

‘’In the shed out back. And after you’re done that, you can fix some holes I found in the walls upstairs,’’ she shrugs at me. ‘’I think the past owner had a teenage son. Punched the shit outta the place.’’

‘’Of course he did…’’ I take the toolbag and sigh. ‘’Fine.’’ 

 I march out the backdoor and find her shed. Walking inside, the bannisters I need are laying on a table. It smells of fresh paint in here- I actually quite like that smell...I grab the bannisters and march back inside. The bitch is making coffee instead of- you know, working like I am. I glare at her as I walk back into the hallway. Her stairs are completely missing several bannisters- six to be exact. With a sigh, I put down the bannisters and rummage through the bag for a drill. Why does she think I’m qualified to fix stairs anyway? Because I’m a toymaker?? I mean- yeah I know how to fix things like this- but still! My skills are more in carving and painting and sewing...ugh…

I pull out the drill I need and get to work. It’s a simple process. Drill a nail into the stairs, drill a matching hole into the bannister, then screw it on. Nothing too difficult- the only bad part is the sawdust that gets everywhere. Not my problem though- at least I hope it isn’t. If she makes me clean it up I’ll be mad.

‘’I finished.’’ I growl to Kate as I walk back into the kitchen. ‘’What next?’’

She’s eating fucking banana bread. Taunting me with the fact that I’m doing all of her work for her. Fuck you, Kate. Fuck you. If I was in a room with Slenderman and you and I had one bullet, I’d shoot Slender and beat you to death myself. Fuck you AND YOUR BANANA BRE-

‘’There’s plaster and newspaper upstairs. You can stuff the holes up and plaster over ‘em.’’ she smiles at me. Ah. I didn’t need to come in here at all. I could have avoided seeing the accursed banana bread…

I go upstairs like a good slave laborer. The bucket of plaster and stack of newspapers is sitting right next to the top of the stairs. How did I miss it? Ugh. Whatever- ripping up the papers to stuff up the holes in the walls is actually kind of fun. I haven't made anything with paper mache in a while...it’s kind of time consuming to make but still fun! 

Thinking about paper mache makes the time go by much much faster. By the time I’ve patched up every single hole in the wall I’ve almost completely forgotten why I’m so angry! It’s nice- being productive always helps me calm down and forget why I’m so stressed…

‘’Hey, Jason!’’

Ah. I remember now. I look down the stairs at Kate. She smirks a bit. ‘’Ya done?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Good! Ya can help me with the fence then!’’

Ugh. With a huff I walk downstairs and follow her outside. She leads me to a wooden fence that’s broken down and barely standing. Next to it is a shovel, some timber and more tools. She picks the shovel up and starts digging around the fencepost. Together, the two of us remove the rotten wood from the bottom of the post, fill up the hole, and replace the rest of the rotten and broken wood. By the time we’re done I’m covered in dirt, and sweaty. I huff and take off my jacket, holding it under my arm. Kate does something similar, tying her flannel shirt around her waist. She stretches, cracking her back and grunting. 

‘’Are we done yet?’’ I growl. Kate smirks. 

‘’Almost. Just need ta water some crops.’’ she strides past me. ‘’C’mon Jacey. It won’t take long.’’ 

‘’Don’t call me Jacey.’’ 

She laughs and leads me over to the field I was watching her in. There's a short pipe with a hose attached to it just by the gate leading into it. She picks up the hose and hands it to me. ‘’Just sprinkle some water over ‘em, got it?’’

‘’I know how to water plants. I’m not dense.’’

Her lips curl up into a smile. ‘’Good. I’m gonna go check on Marigold.’’ she says before wandering away. I frown.

‘’Who’s Marigold?’’ I call after her.

‘’My cow!’’ she yells back. ‘’Now get to work before I feed your mouse to her!’’

Cows don’t even eat mice...stupid bitch. Hmph. begrudgingly, I walk along the small paths in between each line of crops, sprinkling each one with water. She has all sorts of things growing according to the small wooden signs stuck into the dirt. Carrots, potatoes, tomatoes...being a farmer sounds like a hellish lifestyle, but having your own fresh ingredients for cooking does sound appealing...

‘’Jason!’’ 

Just as I’m watering the last of her plants she calls me. I glance over at her. She waves at me from the other end of the field. With a sigh, I walk all the way over to the gate where she’s standing.

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Ya wanna feed the chickens?’’

‘’No.’’ 

‘’Great!’’ she grins at me. Great, now I have to feed the bloody things. As if hiding amongst them earlier wasn’t degrading enough. I put the hose back where I found it and turn to her. She holds out a bucket filled with seeds, grain and berries. I take it and frown.

‘’What is this?’’

‘’Chicken feed. Duh.’’ she rolls her eyes. ‘’C’mon. This is the last thing, promise.’’ I follow her back to the accursed chicken coop. The chickens, there’s seven of them, are just wandering around, pecking aimlessly at the ground. Kate claps her hands and the demon birds all look up. Kate looks at me and gestures to the chickens. ‘’Well c’mon. They’re waitin’.’’

With a sigh I reach into the bucket, grab a handful of feed, and toss it to the ground. Immediately it’s swarmed by bloodthirsty- er- bloodhungry chickens who peck the ground aggressively. Out of fear for my safety I continue tossing feed at the birds. Admittedly it is fun seeing chickens rapidly look around in confusion when they’re hit on the head with their own food. This isn’t actually too bad. These chickens aren’t all that ba-

‘’Ow!’’

I TAKE IT BACK ONE OF THE FUCKERS JUST PECKED MY FOOT. I kick at the aggressive bird. It flutters back and I give it my best sneer. Kate clicks her tongue and I look up at her. 

‘’Bad idea, Jacey.’’

Huh? Wha- ‘’OW-’’ I stumble back and away from the flock of chickens pecking at my good nice boots. I drop the bucket of feed, stumble on a rock, and fall straight into the muddy ground. I stare at the sky, eyes wide. What- what the fuck...since when are chickens so- aggressive?? I sit up slowly and stare at the demon hens in fear, then at Kate who is aggressively laughing. I glare at her, regain my lost dignity out of spite, and stand up.

‘’Can I go now?’’

‘’Mmm…’’ she rocks on her heels, smirking and considering it for a moment. ‘’Sure. I think ya’ve done everything I need.’’ she pulls her hands out from behind her back and holds out a tupperware container as I walk over to her. What- why is she-

Oh.

Oh if she put licorice in there-

‘’Licorice!’’ yep she did. Bitch. I pick up my beloved mouse and cradle her in my hands, dropping the container in the process. ‘’Oh there you are sweetie...I’m sorry- did the mean lady trap you in there? You poor thing.’’ Licorice squeaks in distress as I pet her gently and kiss the top of her little head. ‘’I know, I know- don’t worry Jason’s here, she isn’t going to hurt you anymore my sweet.’’ 

Licorice rolls up onto my shoulder and snuggles up against my collar. I pat her again and glare at Kate. She smiles sweetly at me.

‘’Get off my property.’’

‘’Gladly.’’

[replicantdeviancy]

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

                         @murdcck | the salty af munday meme | Accepting

Oh, man... This one is both difficult & easy to answer, & a little extra. I mean, we all have our own tolerances & there are some things that just make us go ‘Wow, you really did that’. Personally, I have a pretty high tolerance for bullshit, given the nature of my job irl. I’m used to some very choice things coming out of people’s mouths & I’ve worked with all walks of life on both sides of the liberal-conservatives divide, so I’ve seen a fair share of things. But I have my hard limits.

One things I have concluded is that racism is never okay (Yes, against white people as well. Racism is racism. Don’t be a bigot. Skin color & origin don’t matter. It’s the individual that matters, & if the individual is a piece of shit, look to their upbringing & environment instead of their melanin levels for blame). If I find out someone is a racist they’ll be missing a follower. 

The next is any kind of phobia against the LGBTQ+ (OOC obviously. Characters are exempt so long as it’s in character). I understand criticisms & again, each individual is different, but being anti gay, trans, or queer of any kind is a really bad look. Especially homophobia or transphobia (I have a little story under the cut if you care to look). 

Also, if you blatantly do not read or respect my rules. This one is very crucial, as I have crafted them to help with my anxiety & my personal discomforts.

The next is being an extremist or fascist. I’m too old & too tired to be seeing that brand of crazy on my dash & it makes me pretty darn anxious. I’m just here to write & make friends with awesome people. Thus far I’ve done a relatively good job of that, & I’d like to keep that positivity going.

Oh,& lying. I don’t mean about silly little things. I mean straight up lying to my face or to people about me. Not cool, bro.

Storytime: tw;transphobia. No URLs, fandoms or any identifiers will be used.

While I was in the very early stages of dipping into a new fandom for a crossover type scenario I came upon a blog for a character I’d have personally liked to write with. This person followed back, I sent a couple memes. Everything was peachy keen. I anticipated they would want to write with me, as most do when they’re mutuals, in theory. I reached out with the intent to plot something out & we got talking. They were familiar with Detroit: Become Human & my characters, which was a plus. I thought I had been rather fortunate. They wanted more information on my Connor’s human verses, so I linked them the current synopsis I had going. Immediately they began policing why my Connor was transgender &, as one might expect, my heartrate & anxiety instantly spiked.

I was appalled. They began grilling me on whether or not I was trans & the like. That’s incredibly disrespectful & honestly, it’s nobody’s god damn business what I am. No self-respecting individual would push someone to out themselves as non-cis & quite frankly, anyone who does is an asshole. I’ll make a side note here & state that it hadn’t been my original intention to make Connor transgender. He simply developed that way. That was where his character was most comfortable & that’s how he became. At the time this individual claimed to be trans as well as their partner, of which, frankly, I think was a falsehood to keep themselves from sounding like a massive transphobe. I can’t prove it & I want nothing to do with them, so I’ll keep my theories. I want to make it clear that this is only my opinions & not necessarily factual, only a reasonable conclusion drawn from the context of our conversation.

Next they had stated they don’t let their character have sexual relations with trans characters, which, again, is very skeevy. It was claimed it triggers them, but again, I have my doubts on their claims. That’s all I will say on that. Regardless & transphobic sentiments aside, this proves they also did not look at my rules as I very, very clearly state I absolutely under no circumstances (unless I really know/trust you & am comfortable & even then it’s a grey area) will ever write smut on this blog. Ever. I am a sex-repulsed asexual & I know my limits on tolerance. The insinuation alone that I was only there for a sexual ship was egregiously upsetting.

At the time I did not immediately block as I needed a moment & they had put my stressed arse on the defensive. But I lost sleep over it (I also had something else very stressful going on) & so I wrote a firmly worded statement about their behavior & asked them to do better in the future, as well as reevaluate themselves from within, before blocking them for my personal comfort & safety. It was a gross & upsetting encounter, & I’m so, so glad that I’ve never encountered someone like that before or since in my time on tumblr. My time here has, for the most part, been incredibly rewarding & pleasant experience. I like to keep things positive here. The real world is crazy enough right now.

[treacherous-dwarf-of-the-seas]

I had a lot of Thoughts about the Steven Universe Future finale

It’s exactly a month after its premiere, but I still have a lot of feelings and I wanna organize my thoughts a bit so I can have them somewhere, perhaps for any future ideas I may have. I think I’m just gonna list my thoughts on the 4 individual episodes, the finale (and season) as a whole, etc. Overall, I liked most of it, but I’m gonna get a bit su critical because although I absolutely loved many things about this finale, Oh boy. Some things I downright Did Not. Spoilers ahead I guess, this is a long one. 

This is my favorite part of the finale by far. To me, it did almost everything right.

I loved picking up right after Fractured, and Steven’s expression and body language, *chef’s kiss*

Poor Jasper gets killed *twice*

Homeworld looks so good! It’s all gardeny and disorganized in a good way.

Purple pearl?

SPINEL’S BACK!!!

Edgy theories that spinel and the diamonds were a disaster waiting to happen (I agreed with these) were wrong and this makes me happy. 

Steven’s reaction to Spinel kissing him? Was a tad strange//

SO GOOD to see Spinel being mentally healthy and happy and while still being herself.

The Diamonds! Actually working to better themselves!

I love the idea of diamond powers “working in reverse”. Like, Yellow diamond can change bodies and destabilize bodies, Blue can change emotions for better or worse, White can take over others or let others in. Honestly the idea that Pink/Rose could bring random plants to life and basically heal anything always struck me as so overpowered and random. The context that she was a goddess of destruction that changed into a goddess of creation makes the concept make a bit more sense to me, I appreciate that. 

I’m so ambivalent about Yellow’s scene. 

Like, its so satisfying to see. The thing that everybody (including me) was complaining about was that the diamonds’ redemption did not change the millennia of shattered, corrupted and amalgamated gems and suffering they had directly caused. Its very nice to see them putting their money with their mouths are. There’s acknowledgement that redemption isn’t just saying sorry and being less of a dick than you were before, it’s also correcting past wrongs and making it up to the people who were hurt.

However, I’m not totally sold on the idea of healing every shattered gem and the cluster. Like, I guess it makes sense considering a shatter is just a crack that’s been finished, and cracks in gems can be healed. But I don’t think it should be as easy as it is, and in any case, it just feels like it cheapens the impact of shattering, and even the forced fusions when they were so impactful in the original show. I wish the healing could still be done, but in a way that respects how awful and impactful the harm was.

I totally understand Steven in the Blue Diamond scene. I had had mental health problems where my mom had just offered drugs instead of talking to me or trying to help in a way that showed she cared about the issue, so this scene hit a bit hard.

Blue gets a song!

White, by far, my favorite scene in all of Future. 

Spinel White, no joke, gave me nightmares. 

The little moment of Steven yelling at himself for being a diamond is exactly what I wanted and I needed so much more of it. 

Triggered by everything White Diamond does. *chef’s kiss*. I especially love the little subtle moment of looking uncomfortable and pushing away white’s fingernails.  

Finally seeing similarities between Steven and White is canon, though I wish it was more explored. 

THE HALLUCINATION

Zach Callison is Intense(TM). This man always goes so hard and deserves mad respect.

TOO BAD.

Intrusive thoughts being represented in this way is amazing.

I still wonder if White knows what happened. Can she read thoughts in that state? 

He used White Diamond’s power to go into her body, and then while in her body, used her power of possession to take over his own body to puppet himself? I actually love the twistedness of this concept. It shows how twisted Steven himself has become. It’s so much about self-harm, while also not being self harm? vengeful thoughts, intrusive thoughts, anger, just everything. This moment could take all day to analyze, and I think it is way more thematically relevant to Steven’s internal struggle than the corruption.  

Love that the diamonds were still willing to help and only seemed concerned after how Steven was acting. They have changed!

Fairy tale imagery, noice.

This one is odd in the best way.

My favorite scenes in anything with supernatural beings is when they look at their own eyes in the mirror and realize that it’s not human or changed from what they should be. The way this scene played out was in a way I’ve only seen in fanfiction, and I am Here for it. The horror on Steven’s face when he’s looking at his own appearance is just wonderfully done. 

Very uncomfortable that there is an actual painting of Steven as an angel in his own room. I love how it ties into this episode, but I genuinely feel uncomfortable that he was thought of in that way at all. 

The flat out denial that he had just done the things he had done simply by virtue of who he is, I love the idea that “Steven Universe” has become more of a concept/symbol to him rather than being his own name. It reminds me of his concept of his mother and how her name is more of a symbol to Steven than a person. I just love the subtle parallel. 

I love the fact that “toxic positivity” is being explored in this show. I never really see it being discussed, and in a show so centered on being honest about emotions, no matter how painful they are, its so wonderful that the protagonist’s main character flaw is the exact opposite, to the point of being forcefully happy and smiling and actively ignoring things going wrong. It really strengthens the message by showing the opposite extreme.

I love the recontextualization that is present in suf. The criticisms of Steven being “too happy” during the cluster arc, being strangely positive after Lars’ death, etc. Although it was uncomfortable when those episodes came out and those events were all but ignored, I’m happy that it is being addressed as this culmination of madness in Steven, being so forcefully happy that its obvious that those episodes weren’t trying to ignore the problems, Steven was. 

I’m also happy to see a genuine “hero complex” in a protagonist. (usually the term is used incorrectly to mean “anyone who is a hero who works too hard.”

Steven talking to himself in typical protagonist fashion. 

The crystal gems staging an intervention, good shit.

“Steven’s here to help. Steven help. Help Steven.” Not subtle, but I’m always a slut for the glitchy messages. 

The confession of his crimes, love that we get to see the gems react to that. 

The whole monologue. Once again, Zach goes hard. I love the manic energy and still the ending is so raw and broken. 

“Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix anything. I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it! How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long. You have no idea how bad I am.”

 It honestly feels like some projection? (Idk something to do with that). It feels like hes a little put out by the things he learned in Homeworld Bound. Like, maybe he feels the same way I do? That the diamonds got off too easy? Maybe it’s simply that hes put out that they’re getting better and he seems to be getting worse. Maybe even, into the worst parts of his mom? I mean from his perspective, his mother had reverse character development and went, in his mind, from a goddess to a petty teenager, to an actual monster. How upsetting would it be to see the galactic dictators who got to live, do so many awful things, worse things than her, and just get to make everything better, to the point of total reversal of their crimes, while pink just ran away and left steven to deal with the mess.While he had to deal with the aftermath of EVERYTHING. Everyone seems to just be okay with the diamonds now, the monsters he feared for so long, so how come he has to be the bad one? How come he has to be like them now? Maybe it’s even coming back to his whole theory that he’s just a reincarnated version of his mom. (I know that he knows it isn’t true, but old fears and old habits can come back during a manic episode, and he spent a long time thinking that he was just there to clean up his mom’s mess and thinking that he was her in disguise.) If you look at what he’s saying, it’s a little strange that he’s talking about how bad he is and how he messes up and then fixes the stuff and no one has to know. It doesn’t even sound like he’s talking about himself, not really.

This sounds like a hysterical realization of what being a diamond means for steven. This is better explained in this post here :https://pennylogue.tumblr.com/post/613441610438590464/steven-is-a-diamond-and-thats-okay . Like, he is panicking that being a diamond means that he can just destroy everything and just fix it like the other diamonds. It’s terrifying that he can just destroy anything and hurt anybody, and people will still worship the ground he walks on just by virtue of who he is. (This isn’t true, obviously, but after what had just happened with jasper, a terrified mind would latch on to that.)  

 Dude, I could just go on all day this monologue is just fascinating. 

Love the parallel of Connie’s “backpack butterflies” and Steve’s back exploding. Its like a subtle way to show that the thoughts are “suddenly swarming.”

Oh god. I’ve gotta be honest. I hated this one. But I’ll start off with things I liked. 

The general concept is okay, but I feel like it is not thematically consistent, which I will get into later. 

The moment when the gems tell Greg to leave, and he stamps his foot down saying he needs to be with his son, I like that it is very apparent that his stomp makes almost no sound or impact, which really shows how different Steven is from him, aka, his separation from his own humanity that has been building up. 

Connie being amazing as always. 

“Yoo hoo! Steven! Is this a bad time?”

Spinel’s entire thing, from her reaction to seeing pink godzilla to her thinking that she is the main villain of steven’s story. It reminds me of Peridot’s “leader of the crystal gems, traitor to homeworld” thing and it makes me so happy. 

“WHy is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?” 

The ending. Jesus. Zach always goes so hard I don’t doubt he was actually sobbing. I wish I could have cried during this moment. 

I respect the message, that it’s not about fixing it, it’s about being there for the person struggling, and Steven wasn’t cured, he finally hit a breaking point. I understand that the problem was not “solved with a hug” as so many say.

I love that before I saw the episode I saw pics of Garnet being as big as the kaiju and actually said to myself, “Wow the heights really ARE inconsistent.”

I don’t like that Connie included herself as one of the people that depend on Steven. They are the healthiest relationship in the entire show and Connie is always there for Steven? sometimes even more than he can be there for her? Where is this coming from? She has literally always been there. Her calling everyone out did clear my skin and water my crops though. 

Also, where is Connie’s emotional resolution? Didn’ she go through alot of the same trauma as Steven?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable that a diamond, Steven, could corrupt themselves. It’s not necessarily a bad ending to have Steven be corrupted into a giant monster. However, I don’t think it’s the ending that was really built up to. The only real build up was the presence of “Wyrm boi” in the theme song, and that’s about it. It’s not as prevalent as eye symbolism and foreshadowing of someone (Steven or Connie) losing a hand or an eye.

The episode itself was 11 minutes long, and the monster was very underwhelming and way too quick. I feel like the emotions were too rushed, and although everyone else seemed to put in their emotional 2 cents, I feel as though Steven did not get the emotional climax that he really needed. 

Also why didn’t we have a sweet little moment of connection with Nephrite Jade/Centipeetle? Wouldn’t that have been such a bittersweet parallel? The whole “being there for Steven like he was there for us?” So where is she? 

There was so much imagery and thematic elements in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future, that did not build up to the kaiju monster in the way that it was.

The imagery with one eye, the eye patches, cat steven, the heterochromatic eyes with Onion’s doll, Cookie cat, split Steven, etc etc, most people have many many more examples. I feel like someone could have lost an eye, or maybe Steven could have had a corruption scar that left his eyes permanently heterochromatic. It also would have been thematically relevant to have Steven come out of this with more of a balance of his gem half and human half. This never really becomes relevant in “I Am My Monster.” His gem half turns him into a monster, his gem half helps him turn back. It’s nice that his gem and human family were there as support, but there was never a sense of balancing both sides of himself in the fact that they are there, as there are only two humans and mostly gems there, and this lack of balance and security with both parts of himself was one of the major themes throughout the series and one of the sources of Steven’s identity crisis. 

Connie is always a parallel to Pearls. Our Pearl and Pink Pearl. I wish something had come of that. (There are amazing comics that show her losing an eye like Pink Pearl, as it seemed to be foreshadowed in Open Book and Sworn to the Sword.)

This idea isn’t mine, but I’ve seen it done really well and I feel like it would have been a better ending than 10 minute godzilla monster. I wish I could have seen Steven split up again. I am personally fascinated with the otherworldly enigma that are Steven’s two halves, but I feel that that would have tied into the themes better and tied up more loose ends. By the end of the series, we don’t know Steven’s opinion on his mother, and last time we heard him mention her it was in a negative light. This is connected to Steven’s conflict within himself, his desire to understand his human side better, his fear of his power as a diamond, his insecurity and loneliness as a totally unique being. Homeworld Bound was the closest we got to seeing Steven talk to himself, and confront the two sides of himself. This was also the closest we’ve seen Steven come to being honest with the diamonds about how he really sees them. However, this ended with Steven hurting himself, (wanting to hurt White was a response to trauma as well as symbolically confronting his own diamond self), and running away. We never get to see the resolution to that conversation. We never see Steven accept that he is a diamond and that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Furthermore, Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is not resolved. The negative character development took a huge toll on her character. Not only does the audience think of her as a terrible person, but the characters also forget her positive character development after hearing about all the mistakes of the past. Rose/Pink’s redemption arc still happened. I think it would have been fitting to remind us here, like all the other diamonds get their moment in this special. I feel like having Steven split up would tie up these loose ends. It would be a dramatic ending while also being a way for Steven to confront these issues within himself in a grounded way, while also making genuine peace with Pink Diamond. We could have Steven talking to himself, maybe starting out the way he did with White in Homeworld Bound, then steadily coming to terms with the sides of himself that he is afraid of, maybe how both sides help each other, how Pink Diamond is not a symbol of all that is wrong in his life, but just a person with flaws who was able to be better, like he can be better, too. This was touched on a little in Change Your Mind, but I would love to see Steven’s thoughts on Pink after the events of Fractured and Homeworld Bound, as there has to be some difference in perspective there. I feel that if Steven split into his components, these themes and ideas could be explored more and we could have a better climatic resolution for Steven’s character arc.  Even if Steven came out with no scars, even with both his eyes, the imagery and thematic elements would still be satisfactorily resolved if we got to see the two halves of Steven actually talk to each other. This also explains it better. https://scatterpatter.tumblr.com/post/615024679798915072/hmmmm-okay-so-i-just-watched-one-of-those-rose

Btw, if anybody has fanfiction recs with this concept, please hmu. 

I think I hate the kaiju ending because it seemed like such a waste of potential and didn’t really resolve any conflict besides functioning as a sort of breakdown.

The Future. aka: Welcome to another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Boogle

The cookie cat rap. Pearl obviously kills it because she’s awesome and I was dying the entire time. 

Steven/Therapy is canon!

I like that Steven puts up a poster of Kerry Moonbeam in his room that he’s giving to his dad. It’s like he’s made peace with the whole “mr. universe thing” and it makes me happy to see that he’s not holding it against his dad or even avoiding the subject. 

I appreciate alot of little moments with the family while it still lasts.

It is genuinely like watching Crying Breakfast Friends. 

Steven gets to be “petty” with his emotions! He is finally honest with his family. I do appreciate the subtle resolution to his character arc (despite my opinions of the climax).

My favorite thing about Steven and Connie is that the fact that they are “canon” has basically always been true. Like, they’ve always loved eachother as best friends and they still do, it’s just that they get to kiss now. I absolutely love that its not a huge dramatic thing, its just Steven and Connie and they are otp for life. 

The fanfic potential is strong with this one. 

I wish I could have seen a therapy session or at least meeting the therapist. Maybe Steven walking into the office with his family behind him and its a moment of doing the first steps toward getting better.

But as is, this one is fine. 

Love the idea of a road trip with our little weirdo interacting with normies. 

Time to hit up Gravity Falls, lmao. 

TLDR:, the finale was good, but I did not particularly care for the climax. I am genuinely sad to see this show go. I was not a fan until I was already 18, but even after 5 years this show has taught me so much about self love, acceptance, tolerance, emotional honesty, etc. (I’ll probably do another post about it because holy shit this is long.) But this season, or epilogue series, has gotten me through such a difficult time in my life that is still happening, and has given me the tools to get through it. I sympathize with Steven so much, and I know alot of other people did too. It was so nice to be part of a community that just adopted this feral child. Some of future was rushed and of course it wasn’t perfect, but I greatly respect what it was doing. Bringing up PTSD and mental illness in this way in something like this was not something I was prepared for, even in this show, and I certainly couldn’t have imagined it even 5 years ago. Even with its missteps, this show took so many risks and was so incredibly detailed and it was obvious that it was made with alot of love and the fans in mind. I criticize because I love this show and while I feel it is necessary to acknowledge its flaws, I have so much love for the possibilities that this little world makes me dream of. These four episodes in particular was an emotional roller coaster and I am so sad to see it go, but I enjoyed the ride. Thank you, Crewniverse!

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 17: MJ is LYING to Peter (when she knows she shouldn’t)

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One of the most egregious elements to AMJ is the incredible casualness in which the story treats MJ lying to Peter. In this post I will unpack just why this is seriously out of character.

Let’s be clear. Lying to your partner is in general just not a great thing to do, especially when you’ve only recently gotten back together. Lying to your partner about potential risks to your safety, other people’s safety and crimes that have been/are being committed, really, really not a great thing to do; and that’s when your partner’s job isn’t fighting crime.

Now in fairness MJ has lied to Peter about various things over the years. However these occasions (to my recollection anyway) have rarely included Mary Jane withholding information about out-and-out criminal activities from Peter. As I’ve exhaustively demonstrated, Mary Jane understands Peter’s ‘original sin’ and shares his sense of justice.

There were two notable exceptions though, the first occurring in ASM #286.

To fill the vacuum left by the departure of the Kingpin NYC’s mobsters engaged in a humungous gang war. The war involved various costumed types including Hammerhead, Jack Lantern, the Hobgoblin, Daredevil, the Falcon, the Punisher and of course Spider-Man.

Physically and mentally exhausted from putting out fires throughout the city (as well as his recent tussle with the Punisher), Peter returned to his apartment where Mary Jane helped him somewhat recover. As he slept Lance Bannon dropped by, intending to pass on a hot tip about a major gang meet that was to happen that night.

MJ took the message but out of concern for Peter deliberately chose to not tell him about the meeting.

The meeting turned violent causing a distraught MJ to finally tell Peter about it. She was horrified by the extreme violence and placed the blame squarely upon herself.

At the end of the story an even more exhausted Peter once again returned to his apartment. MJ admitted that whilst she was frightened for his safety she also acknowledged that his heroic acts were wonderful. However as Peter collapses on the coach MJ tries to point out to him one person who did in fact die in the incident, a young rookie cop.

This incident, being unique even amidst MJ’s unique life, would stick out in her memory.

It’s a huge lesson for MJ about the horrible consequences of lying to him about potential criminal activities. Noticeably in this situation MJ knew criminals were simply going to meet up and talk to one another, which isn’t (to my knowledge) actually a crime unto itself. And yet in AMJ #1 Mysterio and his crew collectively are actively  committing various crimes (evading the law, identity theft, fraud, etc.) but MJ still lies about them.

The other example where MJ lying had horrible consequences is admittedly much more contentious.  During Howard Mackie and John Byrne’s run on both ASM v2 and Peter Parker: Spider-Man v2 they initiated two subplots regarding Peter and MJ lying to one another. In Peter’s case he lied to Mary Jane about resuming his role as Spider-Man following his seemingly permanent retirement.

In MJ’s case she lied to Peter about a mysterious stalker who had begun making threatening phone calls to her. The stalker aggressively professed ownership of her and also threatened Peter. MJ presumed (for some reason?????) that the stalker was one of Peter’s enemies and thus kept him in the dark in order to protect him and maintain the normal life she believed they had. I admit this doesn’t make much sense but that’s a discussion for another time.

These lies (from both parties) majorly contributed to a creating a big schism in Peter and MJ’s marriage. They also, obviously, harmed MJ’s mental and emotional health through scaring and upsetting her, rendering her terrified of the phone.

MJ’s upset and horror at the situation escalated when her stalker went from threatening phone calls to invading her workplace to leave similarly threatening written messages.

This was very quickly followed by more violent acts like the stalker triggering explosions in the road where MJ’s limo was driving. It is implied several cars are totalled in the explosions, potentially injuring or killing innocent people and leaving MJ’s friend Jill Stacy scared and potentially mentally traumatised.

By this time Peter and MJ had independently learned they were deceiving one another. Peter rescued MJ from the stalker’s attack prompting the couple to briefly argue over their deceptions. It was clear that during this argument they held one another in poor favour for never fessing up, further damaging their marriage.

Not long after MJ’s stalker escalated things again, this time by causing various bombings near MJ’s home and around the city. He even publicly announced he was doing it to ‘have’ Mary Jane and that more attacks would follow. The situation became so serious that the authorities became involved and confirmed that there were innocent casualties resulting from the bombings.

The stalker was so extreme though he even attacked the police station MJ was being kept at for her safety, injuring yet more people and prompting MJ to flee for her life.

Unbeknownst to her, the stalker, posing as a cab driver, picked her up. MJ realized the truth when the stalker took her to the Bugle and locked the doors. Revealing another bomb counting down, he began to ramble about ‘proving his love’ to her and made moves to touch her. MJ escaped and yelled for civilians to clear the area. She escaped just in time as the cab exploded, seemingly killing the stalker.

Obviously such an experience would be upsetting enough, but it got worse because the stalker wasn’t actually dead!

When MJ boarded a plane the stalker (posing as a civilian) drugged her, took her off the plane, then faked her death by causing the plane to explode mid-flight and murdering everyone on board.

The stalker then held Mary Jane prisoner for six months. It was implied that in that time she was confined to a singular room. Even if that wasn’t strictly speaking the case it was confirmed that in all that time MJ was totally denied human contact, the stalker not even talking to her.

She was driven to such desperation that she practically begged her captor to just speak to her. When he did she exclaimed her thanks to him in spite of the situation.

After this the stalker revealed the details of his origin, motivations and plan (which aren’t really relevant right now). These details horrified MJ, none more so than the revelation that he killed everyone on her plane and that Peter was the stalker’s real target.

When Peter showed up the stalker used his psychic abilities to place MJ into a coma, one that would’ve been permanent had he not died shortly thereafter.

MJ barely survived and was seemingly intent upon restarting her normal life. However, she was left (temporarily) traumatised by the experience. She was frightened of phones when they rang and practically had a panic attack when the door to the attic wouldn’t easily open.

In part due to this trauma MJ opted to separate from Peter, eventually heading out to L.A.

In a much later story MJ would reflect that the time they were separated was one of the worst in her life.

The entire saga of the stalker…well actually it doesn’t make sense. 

For various reasons Peter and MJ simply would never have lied to one another in the first place. Even excusing this many of their actions within that context didn’t add up.

Nevertheless it provided the foundation that later (much better) Spider-Man stories built off of and nevertheless provides at least food for thought.

Those thoughts being how the experience clearly illustrated to MJ that she made a mistake in lying to Peter.

Innocent people, her friends, her family and her husband, were physically, mentally or emotionally harmed by her stalker and her 'death'. At the very least the passengers on her plane lost their lives, though other victims of the stalker’s bombings might also have died.

MJ herself suffered a shitton of harm and emerged from the events with outright PTSD.

ALL of this likely would’ve been avoided if Mary Jane had simply told Peter or the authorities about the phone calls earlier than she did.

Whilst Mysterio and his crew might not do anything as bad to her as the stalker, it’s all too possible that they could harm someone if remained unchecked. And lying to her romantic partner is a HUGE part of enabling them to remain unchecked!

Not to mention on the most basic of levels, lying to your romantic partner is 9/10 simply bad for any healthy romantic relationship. Indeed, the stalker saga illustrated that in it’s own clumsy way but its just common sense. Outside of exceptional circumstances couples should be honest with one another. Peter has to routinely lie as a matter of practicality and yet even he  knows that in general it’s something that should be avoided, as evidenced by ASM #310.

I’m not saying there aren’t times where withholding the truth is ultimately the best option for everyone involved but AMJ is obviously not one of those times. There is a huge difference between MJ deciding to not mention that she was briefly tempted to sleep with another man when nothing actually happened...

…verses not telling him the guy who faked his Aunt May’s death is walking free.

One avoids awkward or hurtful feelings in a romantic relationship. One potentially seriously endangers innocent people.

There is a counterargument to all this though. Couldn’t MJ be lying out of concern for Peter?

Answer: Definitely not. But that’s a topic big enough to justify it’s own instalment.

P.S. I am aware MJ has at times lied to Peter about other things. But my point is there is a huge difference between a little white lie or a lie that is intended to not rock their marital boat (e.g. not telling him about Jason Jerome) compared to potential life and death stuff like the above or AMJ #1.

Previous Part

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Master Post

[bbq-hawks-wings]

There are times when we get caught up in black and white, either/or, and all or nothing. We forget sometimes to breathe, step back, and find the gray in between. Sometimes we recognize that those hard lines in the sand are drawn more out of habit than any concrete reasoning we can immediately muster, and that there isn't really a justifiable reason to place such great emphasis on separating the thing in question in the first place. Opinions on evaluations of fictional characters are held in extremes as marks of character and points of contention within fandom far and above what they usually should be.

For many, fandom is a form of escape above mere entertainment. Comfort characters garner a following of people who often share enough commonality to bolster each other and bind them together in support as they cheer on and vicariously live through each and every one of that character's victories. Occasionally, though, these characters can end up having the exact opposite effect.

Even putting my personal feelings about Takami Keigo aside, I've always been fascinated by what he objectively is as an anime character. Though I fully recognize that removing myself from the equation is difficult, if I had to put my impression of what he is in the industry into words I'd say he feels like lightning in a bottle. It's not often in anime I find a character with such an appealing and striking visual design within his own series and next to characters of any other series, alongside such an endearing and clearly defined characterization in the way he's written and the way he acts - the whole combination of which is more powerful than the sum of its parts is something I can only describe as plain and simply "appealing" - and the mundaness of the word betrays the profound extent to which that definition applies. Almost anyone in the world could look at that character with no prior knowledge and say and say, "I like him." Almost anyone who might venture to look a little deeper would probably say at the very least, "Yup, I can appreciate that character exists" even if it stopped there.

There's likely far more of these kinds of characters in anime than I give them credit for, but Hawks has struck a chord with me in particular that resonates far more than most other examples I could think of. He's done the same with many more, I know. I am not the only Hawks-centered meta/analysis blog on this site alone by any stretch of the imagination. I wouldn't be surprised if my own more-often-than-not, self-indulgent interpretation of events has however many more rolling their eyes at my work. I experience the same thing myself on occasion in regards to content I disagree with (all in good faith, please understand - we all have different tastes and viewpoints and that's a good thing), but in this particular context I find something exceptionally bittersweet in it.

For some, it's simply bitter because they place an emotional stake in the ultimate fate of Takami Keigo far above what I do - something that's much more personal and valuable than I often realize; or maybe I do, but those reasons why simply strike far more deep and personal for others than I can personally relate to.

From the very beginning Hawks has been framed in the moral gray of the greater context of the My Hero Academia lore. He is not all good but not all bad. The way he interacts with others comes across as cold and calculating, but his inner thoughts betray a warmth and depth that's deeply endearing. The contrast of the massive good he seeks to do despite the profound wickedness of his upbringing has captured the hearts of many and has them thinking more or less the same thing, "This character has such an undeniable amount of good in his heart that he deserves to end up happy after all the pain he's been through."

"He deserves to be free. He shouldn't have to be alone anymore. He should do what makes him happy, not anyone else." Every single Hawks fan I've heard from has echoed these same core sentiments, though it's taken many forms.

Herein lies the near paradox of his fanbase, ironically befitting his ambiguous nature: the very traits that endear him to individual fans are often the context and lens by which they define the key to the ultimate happiness they want for him, and that spectrum is a wide one to the point of having one of the most diverse dedicated fanbases to a single character I've ever seen.

Just as an easy example, for someone who latched onto the fact he was used like a literal tool for others' gain, they may see the key to Hawks' happiness in rebellion - kicking the system, fighting the man, going apeshit for once next to people who also are tired of being trampled over.

For someone who recognizes his unwavering desire to do good and help others despite his developmental environment may see him being handed the reins of his own life back to him as his ticket - to have the choice of saying yes or no, to be able to keep going or just fly away merely because he wants to.

I have to pause and emphasize that they key to understanding both perspectives is catharsis for the audience in question, and while I have my own opinions as to which is more befitting to the character as written, I am placing equal emphasis on both interpretations as valid reasons to root for the ultimate outcome in each scenario.

This is all in response to comments I've received thanking me for being so steadfast and vocal in my insistence that while Hawks' formal allegiance may change, his heart and the way he feels towards heroes in general will not. I may have my personal preference and own interpretation of what that will look like in the end, but the key takeaway is that I don't see him bucking the entire heart of the hero movement in hopes to get back at the Hero Commission.

However, that isn't to say I don't understand or look down upon those who either genuinely have come to a different conclusion or would just rather see it happen because it would be more satisfying or interesting for them in particular. I also wouldn't be sore if it ended up coming to pass assuming the buildup to that point felt appropriate and genuine as I don't see it as an impossibility for his character. For me, it doesn't have to be a point of contention driving a wedge between different Hawks fans.

So if you ever feel frustrated or upset at the amount of support in your preference or lack thereof in your desired direction, don't let it get to you. While others have their own reasons for wanting the ending they want, the overall result they want from him is more than likely the same as you.

I asked a completely informal poll giving people an either/or ultimatum for where fans personally wanted him to end up, purposely leaving out a potential third option; but the replies I got overwhelmingly echoed the same one regardless of the false either/or I intentionally planted, "I have my preferences for where I want him to end up, but really all I want is for him to be free and do what he wants in the end because it's what HE wants to do."

That's amazing!

Simply by virtue of my own audience or the way it rippled through the community it could be biased in any direction, but when at least HALF of the total responses say, "Neither" in some capacity regardless of a forced preference I think it's safe to say that we all have a lot more in common regarding this character than we often realize, and he isn't even real!

Hawks was always gray on purpose, and I really hope at the end of his arc we get something that pulls together and unites the other characters in the series as well as the fans because I think that's the point of his character to begin with. I doubt everyone will be completely happy with the outcome off the bat, but as long as it's genuinely satisfying from a character development standpoint I hope we can pull together in support knowing we can't always get what we want, but it was a good run - plus there's always fan fiction for when the author got it wrong!

For real, though, let's get excited together. Find your corner, but follow the character not the crowd. You don't have to think of them as perfect, and sometimes the characters that even end up disappointing us the most stick with us longer. We can always dig a little deeper to find out why they did what they did, or why we want something so badly for them, and even just acknowledge when we just want what we want because we want it. That doesn't make us bad people or bad fans. Fiction is usually written to be enjoyed - HeroAca definitely not an exception to that general rule - and tastes in entertainment vary far and wide. Any one series with that variety of expectations aimed at it just can't satisfy everyone so I'd personally rather it stick to the story it was trying to tell from the beginning instead of succumbing to a popularity vote, even if I didn't get the ending I wanted.

I just hope this was a comfort to some of you and an olive branch to others in case you were feeling down about how others viewed your comfort character or just caught up in another ultimately pointless fandom war because it happens. Maybe we can even use it as an exercise to see things from another viewpoint to understand their perspective and realizing it's okay to agree to disagree. I don't want to put this in the character tags because I think there are plenty that don't need or want this content but still those that do who will find and share it in confidence. This isn't about sides or even being right. Let's enjoy our favorite character together and watch him be happy in the end, however that ends up being.

[gotmeringinghellsbells]

Hii, I wanted to send in a prompt if that's okay. Maybe one day Keith's being extra grumpy and pouty and Lance isn't having it. He sentences the boy to a session of endless cheer up tickles until he smiles again?

New People, Still a Family

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Characters: Keith Kogane, Lance McClain

A/N: Wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be klance or not so I just kind of went with implied klance but still platonic? Anyway, I thought this was a super cute idea! Thank you so much for the prompt! I hope you don’t mind the broganes and “hinted” adashi I added for context.

Description: After a nasty fight with Shiro (Kuron), Keith’s emotions spiral! He wants to just be left alone to sulk…. but Lance isn’t having it. 

_

It all started out of pure boredom. Lance McClain woke up late just to face yet another “thrilling” day in space, on a castle,with the same seven people he’d been seeing for how long now? The Cuban male slowly sauntered into the bathroom with a yawn and stretch before washing his mask off and brushing his teeth. Getting dressed, applying moisturizer, and a bit of makeup to keep his glow was all apart of the morning routine. 

The made up zombie slowly made his way down to the cafeteria to see if Hunk was still serving slop. Frankly, he was bored. Everyday was the same thing in and out unless they were fighting for their lives. Get rejected by Hunk and Pidge who would be geeking out together, get rejected by Allura though Lance really couldn’t see why, try to get out of cleaning with Coran and having to hear more stories about his youth, and being made a fool of by the mice. 

Honestly, it was like Kultinecker was his only friend anymore. Of course, Lance was also rather dramatic. Keith and Shiro almost always spent their time together or alone so he didn’t try very often to talk with them. Well, Shiro out of respect for his space and Keith…. Well. “Keith get back here!” Speaking of Shiro.

The door to his room opened as an furious looking Keith stormed out. Purple met blue very quickly and aggressively. Honestly if the red paladin wasn’t taken off guard he would have noticed the tears pricking the other’s eyes. “What,” Keith growled. Lance put his hands up in surrender. “Ah, nothing man. You do you.” 

The other simply growled again before moving around Lance, slamming their shoulders together as he did so. “Keith!” Shiro rounded his door frame, a look of exhaustion on his face. He’d been back for maybe a week now and suddenly it was like he and Keith were fighting everyday. He sighed as he watched his brother march of. He didn’t mean to make him upset!

Suddenly, gray eyes fell on the body before them before the former leader quickly tried to compose himself. “Lance, what’s up?” He sounded so fake. The shorter pointed back at Keith. “Everything alright?” The older nodded. “Touchy topic.” Did he mean his leading skills? Because frankly, they weren’t the best. 

They had improved though, Lance would give him that. In reality it was everything. Tex, Adam, loneliness, expulsion, some words were said by both parties and finally Keith broke down and stormed out. “Oh um…. You gonna go after him?” The other thought for a moment which, frankly, wasn’t a good sign. “No, he needs time to cool down.” 

The smaller wanted to make a joke but decided it was best not too. “Ah, right. You okay man? You guys have been fighting a lot lately. You look drained.” Lance was studying his face more. Discolored bags under the eyes, ghostly skin, space dad needed sleep. “I’m…. not sure honestly.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I haven’t really felt right since I got back, and I have this headache that just won’t quit. Nothing I’ve taken is helping either.” Lance came forward to put pressure on the forehead. Gray eyes snapped open at this but relaxed as they processed what was going on. “Coran said everything seemed fine. Are you drinking enough? Eating enough?” 

‘Takashi.’ Shiro quickly turned away from Lance with a grunt. “YYeah. I think I’m just going to lay down for a while. Thanks though.” Huh? Lance blinked. “Yeah, sure. No pro,” he was cut off by the door shutting, “blem.” His eyelids fell a bit as he held himself with a soft frown. Everyone was on edge today. 

Walking into the lounge, he was quick to take notice of another’s presence. Oh boy. Well, maybe he could help Keiht a bit? The two had bonded a bit over Shiro’s absence. “Uh, hey man,” the younger started softly. The black paladin shook his head as it rested in his hands. “Go away Lance. I’m not in the mood.” 

Well then. The red paladin scoffed as he kneeled on the floor that sat behind the couch’s back. “And I’m not a child, so don’t shoo me away like I am one.” Keith’s back straightened right up as he whirled around to glare daggers into the other. “Get. Out.” Okay, touchy. “Geez dude, I’m just trying to help you! All you’ve been doing since Shiro got back is fighting with everyone!” 

“I didn’t ask for your help or opinions Lance, leave me alone.” The older stood and went o leave, but he was soon pulled back down, into the other who had moved. Now with both on the couch, Lance held Keith hostage from behind,legs keeping the other’s hands to his sides and keeping their bodies contect. “Dah! What are you doing?!” 

The pulleted paladin looked back at his command to see a pout on Lance’s face. “You and Shiro have been nothing but dicks lately Keith. Enough.” Shiro had been mean too? Keith relaxed a bit as he looked away with guilt. It was probably his fault. Lance gave it a few minutes before slowly trying to hug the other, maybe have a bit of a crying fest. But no, Keith leaned away from the affection as soon as he tried. 

“I’m trying to help dude,” the said softly. Help? Helping would be leaving him be, helping would be…. Would be Adam. Sure, when Keith and him fought it was not that big of a deal Keith would cry a bit and Adam would stop talking after he started to cry. But…. Adam always made up for it in food or cuddles. When he and Shiro fought, both had a hard time just saying sorry or anything like it. Keith always felt so guilty and he’s just cry in his room for hours and refuse to even come out for classes. Adam would always make them sit down and talk about it, resolve things as they both sucked with communicating. But Adam wasn’t here, and Keith didn’t get to say goodbye. 

Which was part of the argument today. It’s like Shiro’s whole mood about the other changed while he was gone. He loved him still, Keith could see it, but he spoke as if…. Keith had no place with them. It hurt, a lot. “Just leave me the hell alone Lance.” He was breaking slowly, but he refused too in front of the other. “Keith, please.” Lance was serious, he wanted to help. 

Then, he was thrown back against the couch as Keith broke free. “I SAID LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!” Purple eyes turned slightly yellow, the shine leaving from them. The room stilled Blue eyes widened in slight fear before tears rushed up on Keith’s end. He shook his head before running away, just wanting everything to go away. 

It had been a few hours later, the team was meeting up for lunch. Shiro was talking to COran about his headaches when Lance noticed that Keith wasn’t at the table He frowned a bit before looking to his best friend. “Can you save me two plates man?” The other looked confused before nodding. “Uh, you sure that’s a good idea man? You said he…. Changed this morning.” Lance mentioned the eyes, yes, but Hunk meant Keith’s attitude. It was worse than any had ever seen. 

Lance shrugged. “Unless you wanna do it. Someone should check on him.” Hunk heard his stomach rumble and frowned. He could eat with Keith! But, Keith might be rather nasty still. Lance had the better tolerance for it. “Alright, good luck.” The Cuban male nodded before making his way to the black paladin’s room. Knocking on the door, he waited patiently. No answer. Was he sleeping? 

Did the guy even sleep? “Keith? Buddy?” Still nothing. Normally, that would be a sign to look else where, but Lance didn’t. He opened the door to find…. Uh oh. Nothing. His room, nope, HUnk’s? Also nothing. Pidge, Shiro, Coran, and Allura’s all had no sign of the “emo”. The training deck was empty, the lounge, all that Lance could think of now was Kultineker’s room but why would Keith wasnt to hang out with a cow?

He was hanging out with the cow. Lance sighed as he walked up to his sleeping baby, the angry male using her as a slopped pillow for his head and upper body. Guess all that anger tuckered him out. Kultinecker let out a moo before receiving some soft, loving pets. “You did good girl, you did good.” He looked over the angry male’s sleeping form. He looked so peaceful, so calm. He’d even brought his blanket out with him and…. Of course he sleeps with a knife. 

Moving the weapon away, Lance noticed that Keith’s jeans and boots were tossed to the side. Odd? One would think sleeping with pants on was a good idea when it came to…. grass? Maybe sleeping practically in a cow’s pen? You do you Keith, you do you. 

The male was going to leave him be but that attitude was beyond uncalled for and he needed to eat something. No one knew if he’d eaten breakfast or not today. Smirking, the younger noticed a bit of white sticking up from the thin blanket. Oh, it was so go time. Chuckling, Lance sat like someone wearing a skirt or dress would, legs to the side as he leaned forward and lightly poked at the sock covered toes that were showing. 

Keith’s foot twitched slightly before he moved them away, so much for that. Moving the cover up, he held the ankle, tickling the sole softly. Lips twitched softly as Keith started to react. He tried to pull his foot back again, but to no avail. “Nhoooo,” he grumbled in his sleep. Maybe this was too cruel of a spot? But it may also wake him up quicker, and drain him more so Lance could have the ultimate satisfaction of gaining the upper hand. 

“Yes,” he sang out softly. “Wakey, wakey Mr. Emo.” Purple eyes slowly began to flutter open, vision foggy at first. Brown hair, taner skin, Keith’s laugh suddenly came out more from suspense. “Ahahahdam nahahaho!” It was like a small child when they saw their parent’s clawed hands. “Adam?” Lance stopped in confusion. Oh? Keith started to calm down from his wake up call. Eyes focusing a bit better, he blinked away some leftover tears before blushing. “L-Lance?!” The other moved into Kultinecker more as he was taken off guard. 

“Yeah, not…. Adam? Who’s Adam?” Had Keith…. Oops. The other blushed more before looking away. “Professor Wright, from the Garrison? You know, Shiro’s fiancee?” Lance froze. Keith called Mr. Wright by his frist name? Were they clo- SHRIO’S FIANCEE?! “Wait, why would Mr. Wright even do that to you? What do you mean Shiro was getting married?!” His two favorite people, like ever, getting married? When, where, how, huh?!

“Stop yelling,” Keith sighed. “I lived with Shiro, did you…. Not know that? I stole his car…. He took me under his wing… I was an orphan?” Lance sat back a bit. “You were an orphan? How the hell did… I thought you dormed with Matt Holt!” Keith nodded. “I did, and during breaks and stuff I’d go with Adam and Shiro to their families houses. They,” he paused. “Look, what do you want?” So much for opening up and talking about feelings. 

But, while Lance had him in a less cranky mood to where he could survive doing such an act, he might as well. “Oh no you don’t. You don’t get pissy like that, open up, and then shut up. I don’t think so Keith.” The other blinked. “What are you, what are you doing?” Keith was taken off guard as Lance pulled his legs down and sat on them. 

“As much as I want answers, it may be easier to just put a smile on your face for the time being?” A smile? What was he talking about? Keith tilted his head, not really caring about how the other was sitting on him as much as the fact that…. Physical contact. 

Lance smirked as he poked at the other’s stomach. “Oh, I think you know.” The black paladin squeaked before looking up in slight fear. God damnit. “W-Wait, don’t. Lahahnce, sthahahop tickling me!” The poor boy fell victim to the other quickly fingers gliding all about his toned torso. “Come on, after this morning, I think you kind of deserve this.” 

Keith tried to cover his mouth as bubbly, awkward, hiccupy giggles let out. “Nhohoho, Lhahahahcne ssthahahop it!” He was whining! Man it was cute though. Lance chukled lovingly before moving the blanket away. “Oh, what’s this? Keith has a body?” It was a lame attempt but he was trying to tease him like a child, or at least fluster him a bit. 

Keith, obviously, didn’t get it and just kind of looked at him like he was dumb. His break allowed him to take in a few gulps of air before he tilted his head. “What?” The red paladin shook his head. “Nothing, nevermind. So…. how about here?” Two hands quickly started to vibrate on the male’s chest, earning soft and melodious giggles. “Ghahahahaha! Chahahut it ohahahaout! S-Stop, it tickles!” 

Raven locks flew about as he shook his head, giggling adorably. “Oh forget it, I want real laughter.” With that, the younger dug into the stomach, causing Keith’s head to whip back into Kultinecker. “Shahahorrhehehey,” he cried out as his head landed. Just because he was being tortured didn’t mean he wasn’t going to have manners with the cow. She gave the sacred milk for milkshakes damnit!

“L-Lhahahahance, plehehehase! I’m shahahahaorrehehehey!” Lance hummed, he wanted to keep going. But…. maybe a chase or something was in order? Stopping, he crawled off the other while letting him catch his breath. Lance passed his shoes and pants over as Keith narrowed his eyes at the brunette. That was uncalled for. 

“What are you, five?” Still so sassy, honestly. Lance huffed before grabbing and ankle and tickling the sole softly. “Seriously man? I thought we were passed this!” Keith shrieked as he kicked at the younger. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!” He covered his face as he fell over, trying to get the other off of him. Honestly, both were rather enjoying this. It was fun, and relaxing, and just childish all around. Lance slowly let up before pulling his friend into a tight hug. “I’m always here if you wanna talk. Or… well, Hunk if you don’t want to deal with me. “

Keith actually accepted his friend’s hug, moving into his chest slightly. “Thanks,” he muttered softly. Lance nodded. “And Keith…. We’re all your family, Just…. Remember that, okay man?” Purple eyes watered a bit but Keith nodded with a choked out “thanks”. The two sat there for a while longer before Lance patted his arm. 

“Let’s go eat lunch, huh? I think Shiro’s cooled down two, maybe you two could talk it out?” The other frowned as he pulled his pants and boots back on. “We’ll see,” Keith hummed. Blue eyes rolled before hands found both of Keith’s sides, earning the beautiful laughter once more. “How about you will or Pidge, Hunk and I will tickle you both, huh? How about that?” Keith squealed beore nodding. “Okay, okay! We’ll talk!” 

He couldn’t help but smile when lance wrapped an arm around him. “Good. Nice to have you back buddy.” The black paladin’s face softened a bit as he leaned into his friend. “We’ll see how long that lasts.” Yeah, they were back to normal again.

[vannahfanfics]

One for the Memories

Category: Friendship Fluff, Comedy, Mild Romantic Fluff

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Characters: Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser, and Lyon Vastia

Requested By: Ella (Ao3)

To be honest, Lucy was quite unsure what to think as she stood beside Gray and Juvia in the secluded office where the Master had requested to speak privately with them. It wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary if it were Natsu and Gray, maybe Erza too, considering how destructive the lot of them were and Lucy usually normally ended up being dragged into the scolding after their latest escapade, but she had to admit that the ice mage and the water mage were an odd pair. The two of them seemed not to have the same considerations; Juvia was purring with delight as she hung on the muscle of Gray’s upper arm and whispering sweet nothings with the occasional intense glare in Lucy’s direction, while the object of her affections was attempting to pry her cheek from his arm and grimacing in embarrassment. When the Master appeared with a slight cough, the attention of the three was captured, eager to learn what the old man had summoned them together for.

“A very nice opportunity for the guild has presented itself. The nationally-renowned Sorcerer Magazine has requested a photoshoot of the three of you that will be the main feature of the next issue,” he explained, and Lucy’s eyes widened in shock. Model-quality beauties like Mirajane were featured in the magazine quite often, but this was the first time Lucy had been afforded the opportunity; for a brief second she swelled with pride with the thought of It’s about time! before her heart slammed into her ribcage as it came to a screeching halt; Lucy had never modeled before, and that unnerved her. Juvia and Gray seemed unperturbed; Gray was his usual indifferent self, even deigning to groan about what a useless venture it was, while Juvia squealed and hearts beat in her eyes at the thought of being in a photoshoot with her darling ice mage. When she realized that Lucy was also to be featured though, she peered around his front with a low grumble.

“Stay away from my darling Gray, love rival.” Lucy had gotten quite used to Juvia’s accusations and her teeter-totter attitude; when it came down to it, Juvia would back her up in tough situations, and that’s all that mattered. Still, it was a bit tiring to constantly be accused of harboring feelings for the man when she had nothing of the sort.

“You don’t have to tell me twice, Juvia.”

“What?! How dare you insult Gray! Take it back!” Lucy just rolled her eyes as steam poured from the water-woman’s ears, and focused on what the hell she was going to do about the modeling shoot.

They met the photographer the next day at the train station. They had been informed that a member from another guild would be also part of the modeling shoot, and while Gray ran around with a lovestruck Juvia chasing him around in circles leaving little hearts in her wake, Lucy wondered who it could be. There were a number of heartthrobs, both male and female, in the guild world, many of whom she had met during the Grand Magic Games just a few weeks before. As her mind flew through the many possibilities, she did not notice the train arrive and the last member of their quartet arrive until the photographer gleefully shouted, “Cool, cool, now everyone is here!”

“What?!” Gray and the newly-arrived Lyon shouted in unison and pointed at each other with the color draining from their faces. Gray continued to stare with his mouth agape and eye twitching, while his rival in ice magic quickly regained his composure and sidled over to Juvia with ice swirling in his hand to form a fluttering dove.

“My darling Juvia, how lovely it is to see you again~”

“Ugh, I’m going to spend all day trapped in some twisted love triangle,” Lucy muttered under her breath as Juvia proceeded to jump behind Gray and peer at Lyon with waves of refusal rolling off her; Lyon deflated with a defeated sigh, the dove fluttering off as if it did not witness the crushing rejection before dissolving into sparkling ice. The photographer was blissfully unaware of the love being thrown around the train station; with another gleeful, “Cool, cool!” he jumped between the troop of wizards and announced that they would soon board the train for their photoshoot destination.

Once they were settled into their booth and trying to ignore the messy love tangle that was still unfolding around her, Lucy decided to approach the photographer with the questions that had been burning on her tongue all the while.

“Where will the photoshoot be held?”

“Oh, yes, yes! We’ll be visiting a town nearby called Crystalwake! It’s one of the most famous vacation spots in the entire country, known for its crystalline shores and crystal-clear waters!” he announced with almost too much enthusiasm. Lucy couldn’t help but mirror it, clasping her hands together with an excited squeal while her brown eyes sparkled like the diamond lights playing across the famous waters of the aforementioned beach town.

“Really?! Crystalwake? Oh, I’ve always wanted to go there!” she trilled as she squirmed excitedly in her seat, a scowl gradually deepening on both Gray and Juvia’s faces as her body rubbed up against his. She distinctly heard Gray mumble, “What’s the big deal?” while Lyon was once again trying to shoot his shot at Juvia and falling utterly short. The venue had been featured multiple times across many magazines in all sorts of contexts, and Lucy thought it was simply the perfect spot for a photoshoot because it was so incredibly romantic. Once that word sprouted in her brain, however, her blissful train of thought came to a screeching halt in its tracks and she looked at the photographer with acute confusion and a slightly perceptible level of fear. “Wait, what kind of photoshoot is this?”

“I am so glad you asked! Last issue, Sorcerer Magazine polled its readers concerning their favorite couples or potential couples within Fairy Tail with the caveat that they would be featured in a special photoshoot, and there were two that were overwhelmingly popular!” Instantly, Lucy was even more perplexed; people pinning Gray and Juvia as a couple wasn’t exactly surprising, but the fact that people could see her with Lyon, whom she had only had limited contact with, was quite exceptional. She would have thought for sure that she would be paired with Natsu, her actual team partner! “The top votes were Lucy and Gray, and Lyon and Juvia!” If her train of thought had come to a screeching halt before, it totally derailed this time. The entire train car became a symphony of their deranged screeches of disbelief; the mildly puzzled photographer just sat there blinking with the smile still on his lips as they all jumped to their feet and began screaming together in one frightening harmony.

“What? There’s no way that I can let my love rival be in a photoshoot with my Gray! Cancel it! And I want to know what crazy people even consider Lucy and Gray a couple!” Juvia shrieked, actually becoming fluid around the edges as she worked herself up to a near-boiling point.

“Juvia’s right! There must be some mistake! Me and Gray? I mean, who would think that up?” Lucy cried, mostly out of fear of retaliation if she expressed the fact that she was actually relieved to be paired with the ice mage that she actually knew.

“What the hell does that mean, Lucy?” Gray frowned and leaned down over her to peer into her face with his eyebrows narrowed accusingly. Lucy flushed red, both out of his proximity and the fact that she had upset him with her hasty comment.

“I-I mean, of course I like you, Gray-“

“Love rival!” Juvia shrieked, her curling blue hair nearly whipping about like snakes as she dissolved further into fluid form, and the Celestial wizard hurriedly whipped around to laugh nervously and wave her hands in a dismissive gesture.  

“No, Juvia, that isn’t what I meant-“

“So you do want to do a photoshoot with me?” Gray asked with a devilish grin and his chin tilted up in a challenging gesture. Lucy deflated like a balloon as she took the assault on two sides. This is turning out to be a much bigger pain than I thought!

“I get to be in a photoshoot with Juvia! <3” Lyon howled as he clapped his hands giddily together, obviously the only one happy with the way that things had turned out. The photographer somehow managed to convince the fiery water wizard that the pairing would have to stay so as not to disappoint the readers, but it had been Gray quipping that Juvia needed to make her fans happy to finally get her to agree with the fact; still, the entire train ride to the beach, she was obviously seething with displeasure beside Lyon, who was giving off a bright aura of one who had achieved enlightenment and ascended to the astral plane.

Needless to say, Lucy’s head was hammering with headache by the time they stepped off the train.

Despite the twist of events, Lucy could not help but be cheered by the vacation spot’s atmosphere. The train station was open to the elements, allowing the salty breeze to waft in and kiss the soft skin of her bare arms and legs and leave and aftertaste on her lips as she strolled with the photoshoot party across the wooden planks that made up the boardwalk-like structure. The roof was simply a cloth pavilion made of thick fabric that flapped in the ever-present winds rolling off the waves she could hear crashing in the near distance. As they walked out from beneath the shade, the sun was there to greet her, offering her an embrace of its warm rays. Her headache was all but erased as she ran down the boardwalk to behold the famous shore, and as she leaned over the wooden railings with a hand to her eyes to take in the majesty of the beach, no magazine picture could have ever prepared her for its brilliance. It took her breath away.

The white sands stretched on in either direction for miles and miles, each individual grain sparkling like a shard of crystal as the sun’s bright rays struck its prism-like surface. The water was a shimmering cerulean, fading into sapphire as the depth increased towards the horizon; above the gently lapping waves, the sky was cloudless and brilliantly blue, the sun hovering at its highest point to bathe the beachgoers in its tanning streams. Gray and Lyon even seemed captivated by its majesty, and Juvia was able to forgo her ire to stand beside Lucy with her breath caught in her throat and her eyes drinking in every detail, watching the sailboats stream across the water leaving frothing wake behind. It’s so beautiful…

The photographer wasted no time in preparing them for the shoot. Soon after arriving, Lucy was standing with her toes in the surprisingly soft sand clad in a white bikini patterned with golden stars and a crescent moon curling across the left side of her chest, as an ode to her Celestial magic. Lyon and Gray were both in swim trunks that were inversions of each other, two-toned blues, while Juvia wore a stylish one-piece of misty blue-white with plunging sides filled in with tied strings and wave-like patterns trawling across the front. They were quite a tastefully clothed bunch, and though a large section of the beach had been partitioned off for the photoshoot, they were still attracting a large amount of attention from passersby. Lucy wanted to bask in the praise, maybe strike a suave pose or two, but her mind had returned to the fact that she had never done anything to the sort and worrying over that fact. She wanted to look beautiful, not like an awkward fool, after all. She silently fretted as the photographer began to give directions.

“All right! First, we’ll shoot some scenes in the water. We’ll start with Lucy and Gray. Will you two go about knee-deep in the water, please?”

“This is a pain,” Gray grunted as he accompanied Lucy out into the surf. She wasn’t sure why, because she was painfully used to seeing Gray half-naked running around in his boxers at this point, but her eyes navigated to his sculpted abs and his defined arm muscles; her words became a hard lump in her throat, preventing her from replying. It was undeniable that Gray was an eye-catching guy; how had she not noticed before now? He definitely noticed her lack of response and looked at her with a frown, making her jump violently and send water droplets skittering about as she reflexively slapped her hands against the water. “You’re acting weird.”

“Am not!” she refuted with red cheeks, which didn’t really make her argument all that strong. She blushed darker as he went to get in her face again, but thankfully that was interrupted by the photographer.

“Okay, cool, cool, that’s a good distance!” Lucy crossed her arms uncomfortably and turned away from Gray, but she didn’t want to necessarily look at the shore either because Juvia was currently trying to melt Lucy with her mere eyeballs. She focused instead at the water swirling around her upper calves; she could see straight through to the bottom like she was staring at liquid glass. Some seashells were half-buried in the sand around her, scallops and cats’ eyes and swirling drills and murexes; one of them was currently occupied by a little hermit crab who was doing his best to scuttle against the current. “A-ha! I’ve got it! Gray, take Lucy in your arms!”

“What?” Lucy gasped and looked at him incredulously, then screamed as her feet were suddenly swept out from under her. Within an instant she was being held securely in Gray’s arms; he looked blankly at the photographer.

“Like this?”

“Perfect! Cool, cool! Now, Lucy, put your arms around his neck.” Uncertainly, Lucy circled his neck with her arms, feeling highly uncomfortable with the entire thing. I probably look like an idiot… she lamented silently as she felt her face burning, but tried to convince herself it was the intensity of the sun’s rays. “Great! Now, try to seem like a loving couple, please~” he twittered like a gull as he flapped about on the shoreline, the shutter of his camera already clicking wildly. Gray turned his pointed gaze on her, a hint of a smile on his lips and all manner of sexy; Lucy was highly certain she looked like a fish gasping for breath. “Lucy, dear, please try to look a little more relaxed!”

“Easier said than done,” she huffed, not realizing she had done so out loud.

“Come on, Lucy, lighten up. You said you wanted to come to this place, right? Forget about the camera and just pretend we’re having fun,” he smiled at her. Lucy puffed out her cheeks defiantly at him, but honestly forgot the camera in that instant because she was too focused on refuting him.

“Come on, Gray! I’m not Mirajane! This stuff doesn’t just come naturally to me!”

“Why not? You’re as beautiful as Mirajane.” Lucy’s previously derailed train of thought shot off into the sky, breaking through the atmosphere at the words that had just so easily slipped from Gray’s lips. He was smirking up at her, but she could not tell if he was serious or teasing; all the same, she could not keep the blissful smile from gracing her own mouth.

“You mean that?” The photographer’s cheers of “Cool, cool!” were lost on her as she bathed in the sun and Gray’s compliment. He nodded, and she could feel his fingers twirling through her long tresses of blonde hair, which she had decided to let fly free for the modeling gig. Lucy’s smile grew bright enough to rival the sun above, and the hint of pink that graced her cheeks was now a tint of joy. “Thanks, Gray.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he suddenly grinned wildly, and her scream was swallowed by the seawater as he abruptly dunked her into the ocean. She landed on her butt against the bottom, startling the hermit crab and sending him feverishly scurrying out towards deeper, safer water; as the current swirled in her ears, she could faintly hear Gray’s raucous howls of laughter. She came up spitting the foul salt water and glaring at him through stinging red eyes. “You should have seen the look on your face!” he cackled while holding his belly.

“You jerk!” she shouted and jumped up to push him roughly in his chest. She successfully disbalanced him and sent him down in a similar fashion; water streamed through his dark hair as he came up coughing, but before he could launch another attack on her, she splashed him in the face and started scampering back to shore.

“Come back here! I’m not through with you!” he growled and yanked her back by the ankle. She belly-flopped into the surf with a surprised yelp, and was dragged across the bottom before she was pulled up so Gray could put her in a headlock and started roughly ruffling her hair.

“Ow! Ow! Gray!” she cried, but the laughter made its way into her voice. Her limbs flapped about wildly as she tried to escape his grasp, and managed to loosen it just enough to turn around in his grip to start beating him in the side of the head. In that effort, though, they became disbalanced together and she ended up on top of him, legs on either side of his waist with his hands wrapped around her waist, water streaming off their bodies like one hundred waterfalls.

“Perfect! Cool, cool! You two are naturals!” the photographer was screeching in near mania, the shutter clicking as fast as his finger would allow without falling off. Lucy was panting with exertion as she sat atop Gray, and when she finally realized what she was doing and how borderline erotic of a position she was in, she squeaked and hastily scrambled off him. It was too late, though; she had already earned Juvia’s wrath, and no sooner than the water mage had stomped into the surf Lucy was blasted with a torrent of swirling water that sent her screeching into the deep blue. She came up several yards out, her hair plastered to her face and soaked from head to toe.

“Take that, love rival!”

Sighing in resignation, Lucy paddled back to the point to where she could walk and began waded back through the surf. Gray came to the edge of the sandbar to help her, which the photographer eagerly recorded much to Juvia’s disappointment; as Lucy reached out to take his hand she stumbled in the thick, mud-like sand and instinctively looked down, and came upon the terrifying realization that by some bizarre incidence Gray had lost his shorts. She screamed and snapped her hands to her eyes, seeing far too much by the grace of the famous crystalline water, while Gray freaked out and began looking around for his swim trunks and a very unamused photographer informed him that this was not that kind of photoshoot. Juvia had fainted and Lyon was trying to revive her with far too much joy at having the unconscious woman in his arms.

After Gray found his shorts it was time for Juvia and Lyon’s shoot, which mainly consisted of Lyon chasing a very unwilling Juvia through the surf that ironically looked like they were playing a consensual game of tag. After several more rounds of general poses and acts, it came time for the final photoset of Gray and Lucy’s. By then her mind had eased and she was putting little thought into how she looked; Gray had done a good job of boosting her confidence. This time they were directed to a setup of props- two towels that matched their outfits beneath a shady umbrella, with all the beachgoing amenities scattered about. They took a few benign ones at first, like on of Lucy on her belly with her legs pulled up and ankles crossed while she read a book, one of Gray staring out at the ocean waves with a popsicle hanging out of his mouth, one that the photographer happened to catch by chance when it fell out of his mouth into his lap and made Lucy laugh like a maniac next to him. Gray was still shaking the icy-cold popsicle drops off his legs when the photographer informed them that it was time to resume the couple act- and that’s how Lucy ended up underneath Gray, nose-to-nose and trying not to freak out. She could hear Lyon struggling to hold Juvia back from killing the photographer, but the Lucy was fixated on the man looming over her.

“Well, this is cozy,” he joked effortlessly, like he was unperturbed.

“Gray, how can you be so calm about this? People are going to see these photos, you know.” Though she was fine with the actual modeling now, it was still a little weird to be featured as one half of an item.

“Yeah, and? People are gonna talk regardless. Might as well give ‘em something to talk about.” Lucy rolled her eyes; he was much to dense to get it, apparently. Lucy had no care to be the topic of gossip, at least not in the sense that she was Gray’s potential lover. Gray shifted above her, and she sat up a little to help him get comfortable. She went suddenly stiff as he accidentally caught his finger in the loop of her bikini and nearly pulled the thing off, and she hastily flopped back against the towel as the flimsy fabric barely covered her modesty. It was only at this point that Gray blushed and sheepishly smiled, which totally would make it look like they were about to be getting up to some very naughty things in the photograph. Lucy’s face was afire and her eyes wide, which didn’t help the image. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Like hell you didn’t. You’re just teasing me at this point!” she accused. He ran a hand through his hair with a dour expression, and Lucy heard the shutter clicking frantically. We’re gonna be the talk of the whole country for years after this, she thought with a groan.

“Lucy, come on, I- oh shit!” As he was once again trying to shift on top of her, his hand slipped in the loose sand and he completely lost his leverage. The breath was knocked from Lucy’s body as he landed on top of her, which was a bad enough image in itself, but the divinities were seemingly having a ball at Lucy’s expense; Gray’s mouth landed right against hers; there was no mistaking the feeling of his lips. Worse, she had somehow grabbed the back of his head as he fell, making it look all the more convincing. Gray and I are-!

“Wow! You guys sure do take this seriously, going so far for the fans! This’ll be a great piece!” the photographer sighed dreamily. It was overtaken by Juvia’s deranged screeching.

“Love rival love rival love rival-!”

“Juvia, will you let me kiss you? Just for the shoot, of course,” Lyon crooned as he wiggled up to Juvia, but the water mage was in no mood to entertain; his wails were lost in the rushing of water as she sent him spiraling down the beach. He landed face-first and butt in the air, and when he came up he was spitting the fine grains out of his mouth and looking downright dejected. “Gray gets to kiss Lucy but I don’t get to kiss Juvia,” he moped as he tromped back over to them with slumped shoulders and the sand raining from his spiky hair. By this time, Gray and Lucy had sprung apart and placed several feet between them, both as red as tomatoes and wiping their mouths with the backs of their hands.

~~~~~~~~~~

Needless to say, that little photograph made the front page.

Lucy ducked out of the guild after a raucous round of teasing, clutching the copy of the magazine to her chest. Though it featured the embarrassing array of her and Gray’s spicy photos together, it was still her one and only modeling gig, and despite the context she was quite proud of it and wanted to hang onto a copy as a memento. Plus, looking back on it, she had had a lot of fun with Gray; he had so effortlessly calmed her nerves, and, antics aside, tromping around the beach with him had become a fond memory. Standing outside the guild with the roaring laughter and buzz of conversation fading into the background, she flipped open the magazine to the featurette, all the pictures of their own laughing faces under the blazing sun. While their relationship was not nearly of the nature their fans envisioned, Lucy definitely could admit that it was a good one.

“Bah, you had enough of those guys too?”

The Celestial wizard glanced up when the exact man in the photos beside her slipped out of the guild doors, looking irritated. He actually had his clothes on, with his hands stuffed into his overcoat pockets; his dark eyes were looking down at her, with that same intensity yet softness they always carried. “They were so busy passing it around and making fun of it, I didn’t even get to see the feature. You mind?” Lucy nodded and stepped closer to him, holding out the magazine so that they could both peruse the contents; though he was standing so close that their arms brushed, his breath puffing against her ear as he leaned down over her shoulder, Lucy felt nothing along the sort of nervousness or anxiety. Outside the context of the modeling shoot, gray really was just Gray; personal space really wasn’t a thing between them. That made her smile slightly. “What’s that grin for?”

“I was just thinking that we look pretty good together.”

“Oh, so you’ve finally fallen for my bewitching good looks, have you?” he smirked at her with his hand on his chin, and she laughed loudly. He joined her, and their shoulders shook in unison as they descended into a hysterical fit of snickers and giggles. By the time they settled down, Lucy was holding the magazine against her belly and tears were forming in the corners of her eyes. Gray exhaled deeply as he ran a hand through his midnight-colored hair, smiling in bemusement. “As much as a pain it was, I can’t say that I didn’t have fun. I definitely don’t wanna do it again, though, I’m tired of all the jokes.”

“Well, at least you have the reassurance that if you fail at being a wizard, you’ve got a modeling career ahead of you,” she grinned at him, and because the comment was unwarranted, he pinched her cheek and began tugging on it.

“You’re pretty cheeky tonight, aren’t you?”

“Ow! Gray! Cut it out, I’m sorry!” she whined while trying to swat his hand away. He sniffed in mock disdain before releasing her, and she tenderly rubbed her reddening skin while he grinned in that devilish way of his. “You’re right, though. I’m afraid Juvia’s gonna murder me in my sleep, and all the girls keep pestering me about going on a date with you!” she laughed lightly.

“Yeah, as if. We’ll both end up in a grave for that,” he snorted, then cast his gaze up at the night sky. The clouds were drifting lazily by the full moon and the stars twinkled like the light playing across the waves they had played in. “Still… I wouldn’t mind going back. To Crystalwake, I mean. Under normal circumstances.”

“Yeah. I had a good time. Just no pulling off my bikini top this time. You may like to lose your clothes, but I don’t.”

“Asshole,” he smirked and shoved her in the side of her head. Lucy grabbed her head, but was smiling; she knew that Gray’s gestures and teasing, though rough, were just his way of showing affection. He chortled too, then put his hands behind his head. “So, now I gotta walk you home, right? Isn’t that the rule after you kiss a girl?”

“Technically, you did it wrong. You’re supposed to kiss her on her doorstep,” Lucy quipped as she tucked the magazine into her bag and clasped her hands behind her back, whirling on her heel to skip a few paces down the cobblestoned street. “Still, I guess I’ll cut you some slack and let you walk me home, but don’t try anything funny, mister.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she heard him chuckle behind her, and his boots made light clicking noises as they struck the stone walking after her. Lucy hopped up onto the rock wall overlooking the harbor as she always did, her arms held out on either side of her for balance as she strode along, silhouetted by the starry night and the glittering ocean as Gray walked alongside her.

Crystalwake is beautiful, but I don’t need to go to some fancy beach to have fun with you. She kept that thought to herself, as Gray would likely make some smart-aleck jibe about it. Lucy didn’t know if what she had with Gray would one day develop into anything more or not; she wasn’t really in a state that wondered, either. She was content with their playful friendship for what it was, and that brought her enough joy in itself.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[nandalorian]

So. I wasn’t going to post about Roswell, but now I am, so buckle up because this is going to be a long one.

A lot of people on Tumblr, Twitter, and the wider internet have, over the last few days, very intelligently posed criticisms of Roswell’s representation of POCs and queer characters in the context of Malex. While I have to be upfront about the fact that the problematic writing has made me apprehensive of seeing the show through to its next season, I’ve been pretty quiet on that front as I gather my thoughts and figure out what I need to say. As a white woman, I am upset and dismayed by the token and tone-deaf representation, but I feel like that’s not mine to speak to when there are a lot of people of colour in this fandom who can and should take this opportunity to explain, criticize, and educate the rest of us on how the show has failed and how it must do better. In that regard the most worthwhile contribution I can make is to listen and amplify those voices and their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and insights about the negative and at best lazy representation of people of colour on the show.

But as a bisexual woman and a professional writer and editor, I am in a position to criticize the queer representation from a political and social standpoint, but also a creative one. I am going to break this post up into two parts because there’s a lot I want to address about two separate issues, and I think the waters will get muddied if I try to combine it into one post. So let’s talk about Malex first, which is the subject about which, oddly enough, I feel the most calm. Depressed af, but mostly calm.

More under the cut.

A lot of people have already written about Malex or Tweeted Carina and the production team far more eloquently than I can manage, but the thing is, while I do have issues I’ll get into in a sec, I... actually think they have done a good job of writing Michael as a bisexual man and Alex as a gay one. That isn’t a popular opinion at the moment, but hear me out, because I have a lot more to say on the subject of bisexuality that doesn’t concern Michael Guerin. The show’s struggle isn’t entirely that their politics are bad. I do think the intentions are mostly good--mostly--but what I want to speak to is the breakdown between intentions and how those intentions translate to the screen through the medium of writing, direction, and the actors’ performances.

I don’t want to dismiss or disregard anyone who feels differently since that view is also totally valid and a lot of people have raised very fine points to that end. This is just my interpretation, so take it with a grain of salt and feel free to disregard or not. But my take is we can’t boil down the show’s issues to saying oh it’s biphobic or homophobic where Michael and Alex are concerned. I don’t think it is, not inherently.

The show’s struggle is that the writing is often so sloppy, rushed, and disjointed that it’s impossible to tell whether they don’t fully understand what positive queer representation is and what it isn’t, or if they just don’t know how to do it justice on TV. Perhaps it’s a combination of both, and right now I’m not writing off either possibility.

But I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. To be clear: the Malex/Maria triangle is shitty writing because love triangles frequently are, and they’re really, really difficult, if not impossible, to get right. The reason I think so many of us are up in arms about it is because the show rushed and stumbled its way through a 30-second supercut of Alex and Michael’s relationship from the word go, just enough to get us hooked before abandoning it for something else.

We’re pissed because it’s like they got us addicted to black tar heroin and then took away our fix just as the night sweats and shaky hands started to kick in, and at this point my life since episode 1x11 has been like a bad Trainspotting withdrawal montage. I don’t think they have intentionally baited us, although that is what it feels like. It’s taken a lot of angst and going back and forth on my part to arrive at this conclusion, and I will say I still waffle about it some days. But bad writing is bad because it pulls unintentionally negative reactions from people due to being misunderstood, or from creating all these wild implications the writers didn’t necessarily intend or realize were present in the final product.

The fact that Carina has to take to Twitter to explain each episode to viewers shows the quality of the writing or lack thereof. If it were stronger, she wouldn’t have to do that, but the show suffers from chronic exposition, incredibly bad pacing, and an overreliance on plot devices to advance the story rather than gradual and necessary character development. Sorry if that’s harsh, but the editor part of my brain sometimes wants to weep during episodes of Roswell. Oftentimes a bunch of shit will happen in an episode that doesn’t even progress the story, leaving us or the characters at exactly the same place they started off.

In short, everything happens too much. The characters feel like they have no agency because they are always reacting to one thing after another every episode, not even a second for them to breathe and be and let us see who they really are when the world isn’t on fire. And that’s all the characters, not just Alex and Michael, although arguably we have a bit more insight into the primary characters like the Pod Squad and Liz. But really, everything suffers as a result. The characters seem thin or underdeveloped and the sense of urgency, tension, and risk disappears even from theoretically high-stakes scenes like a live shooter at a hospital because we don’t get to see who the characters are in their normal lives. We don’t fully know what’s important to them before the next explosion happens.  

Adversity is a helpful writing tool because it can show us who characters are under a certain set of high-pressure circumstances, but boredom and normalcy is just as important for character development. You can’t tear down what we don’t know exists. Star Wars: A New Hope wouldn’t have been half as effective if we hadn’t seen Luke Skywalker in his day-to-day life before that simple life was upended and he got the call to adventure. The first stage of the hero’s journey is necessarily the boring part because we can’t cross from the known to the unknown world without seeing what the known world is.

We never really… get that with Roswell. Not even for a second. So of course we feel cheated of bisexual or gay representation in the show because we never actually get to see Michael and Alex in any kind of sustained relationship, healthy or not. It’s just conflict conflict conflict with a bit of sex and longing gazes thrown in, followed by more conflict and then the relationship ending in favour for a new one. All hat, no cattle. (Literally.)

With Michael we get to see some of his routine and him being himself with his family, etc., and a lot of that has to do with the incredible performances Michael Vlamis delivers week after week, although even then, that suffers. Rather than start us off slow and building relationships from the ground up, the season begins in conflict, so that it has the effect of it seeming like the town of Roswell has been vacant for 10 years and everyone moved back in the same day and started catching up on each other’s lives after a decade apart. You don’t get the sense that anyone really talks to each other, even though most of them have been living in the same place their whole lives. Every single relationship, from Isobel and Michael, Max and Michael, Max and Isobel, even Maria and Michael, could have been strengthened if they’d taken more time to lay that groundwork ahead of the conflict. Especially Maria and Michael! Imagine how much better this season would have worked if they’d had an existing relationship, friendship, or flirtation before Alex got back. By this point we’d be nodding and probably going, “Okay, I get it. I might not like it, but I get it.”

Alex by comparison is a total cypher where his background and his day-to-day life is concerned. We know almost nothing about him outside of his history of abuse, his tragic backstory with Michael, and his role in helping to uncover the mystery about the fourth alien. Yes, we’ve gotten to see that he is blunt and fiercely loyal to his friends, and he has serious issues with needing to be in control, which are all valid from a character development standpoint. I have come to desperately crave any and all scenes with him and Kyle because that seems to be when we get the most significant moments of character insight like that wonderful “I’m talking about a conversation, not a war” moment. But how much else do we know or understand about him that is canon, not fans’ headcanon?

Furthermore, the lack of context and representation around Alex’s disability as a veteran, amputee, and potentially as a PTSD-sufferer is really dangerous and feels like tokenism. The way they’ve written the existence of his injury feels inconsistent, and while showing his residual limb during a love scene was significant, they ruined any goodwill we might have developed toward them for that by simply never engaging with his disability again. Same with the fact that he is of Indigenous heritage, which we know FROM A TWEET but which the show has never actually engaged with explicitly, in a move taken straight from the J.K. Rowling Book of Bogus Representation. We don’t quite have enough information to know yet whether this is tokenism or bad writing, in Alex’s case, although I sincerely hope it isn’t the former. Based on everything I’ve seen so far, though, my hopes aren’t high, because it kind of feels like the writers want credit for representation when they haven’t actually done the legwork (yet?).

Maria suffers a similar lack of character development, and what started off promising when we got great scenes with her, Liz, and Alex and then met Mimi has quickly deteriorated to her being nothing more than Michael’s new love interest. As a woman of colour, that is lazy and shitty on multiple levels, and I just about hit the ceiling in 1x11 when they not only showed a black woman being drugged and her body used against her will--could you be more tone-deaf to those implications?!--but had two white women (Jenna and Isobel) accusing Maria of being a murderer to another WOC (Liz). Maria’s very thin character development in the latter half of the season has had the dual effect of making us feel like we’ve been cheated out of a relationship we have gotten attached to but haven’t been given time to fully appreciate or understand (Malex) and thrust into a new one that feels weak, arbitrary, and rote by comparison.

I actually don’t object to the idea of Michael and Maria as a couple. They have great chemistry. But I do object to the lack of development they’ve given us on either front, either Michael/Maria or doing serious justice to Malex as a ship. To think all of that could’ve been solved if the writers had slowed down the show’s pacing and actually given themselves and the characters time to breathe and get to know each other, and us them.

What I feel a lot of straight/white/cis/able-bodied writers don’t seem to understand is that representation takes care. It’s great to say you’re going to write a diverse show and have lots of representation, but it’s for naught if you don’t also understand that you can’t write diversity in the same way you’d write a character coming from a place of privilege, be it racial, socioeconomic, gender, sexuality, ability, etc. Part of that privilege is having a lot of generally positive understanding and assumptions about those characters already built in, especially from your viewers who share that privilege. Writing diversity takes WORK, a lot of attention to detail, sensitivity, and most of all the ability to listen. It takes a lot of consultation with people who have those experiences and know what they’re talking about, because the experiences, assumptions, and biases of nondiverse writers just can’t fully capture what minorities know and live every day of their lives. To do otherwise is how we arrive at whitesplaining, mansplaining, straightsplaining, etc. If you’re a white/straight/cis/able-bodied person and think you’ve done enough to positively represent your diverse characters, that probably means you need to do more. It’s not for you to judge how much is “enough.” That’s for your consultants and, most importantly, your viewers. And if those people are telling you you’ve missed the mark, the next best thing you can do is stfu and listen to them and try to learn how to do better, not get defensive or start patting yourself on the back for everything else you’ve done.

I think those principles can be applied to all the representation on the show, including that of POCs, the differently abled, and the queer characters. I think the writers have done enough with Michael and Alex as queer characters on their own, but they’ve missed the mark on doing enough with them together. Because--and I know this will come as a shock--part of writing queer characters is also giving us well fleshed-out queer relationships. They started off down that road, but at some point the road abruptly ended and left us as viewers feeling stranded in the middle of a desert. That’s uneven writing that results in a feeling of uneven representation, and as far as viewers are concerned, it amounts to the same thing.

Carina’s attempts to explain why they’ve done nothing wrong to viewers via Twitter and social media is sheer intentional fallacy. And while we’re at it, I’ve spent a lot of this season wanting to take Twitter away from her and throw a copy of “The Death of the Author” at her head instead. It’s not enough, Carina. What you intended isn’t enough if it’s not there on the page or visible to us on the show. As a writer she should understand that, but instead she is getting defensive of her abilities as a screenwriter and showrunner when fans pipe up to say whatever she intended isn’t translating properly. We aren’t seeing that representation, which means the writers need to do more than what they think is “enough.”

Add into that a rushed, arbitrary love triangle with an underdeveloped black female character and an underdeveloped gay POC with a disability, especially when those two characters are also best friends whose relationship is severely threatened as a result, and there’s no wonder why viewers are up in arms about this. I don’t think the love triangle makes Michael seem like an indecisive or promiscuous bisexual--and anyway, since when is being promiscuous a bad thing. It just makes him and Maria seem careless of Alex’s feelings and like Alex is the victim, which they could have avoided by taking their time with the characters/relationships, especially the vulnerable ones, or by avoiding such a lazy and unnecessarily dramatic trope in the first place, or at the very least establishing the characters and their relationships enough that our current situation felt more organic.

So really this kind of leaves us at an impasse, I think, as fans. I think people ought to keep speaking up to Carina if they think that will help, but I think it’s also important for us to be able to separate bad politics from bad writing, or at least be able to engage with them as separate things that occasionally (or frequently) overlap with disastrous consequences. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will disagree with this utterly, and that’s fine. Could be I’m totally wrong, and I am aware that I’m probably giving the writers too much credit about what they may or may not have intended.

But with regards to Alex and Michael, maybe it will help to understand what’s happening from this standpoint and tailor our approach accordingly. We really can’t take it upon ourselves to make demands upon the show in terms of what story they want to tell, but we can certainly complain when they aren’t telling that story effectively or when it alienates viewers, especially on points of diversity and representation.

But I don’t know. It could be the only way to make ourselves heard, to tell the writers when they are and aren’t doing “enough,” is to vote with our time, attention, and viewership, whether that means continuing to watch the show or stopping altogether. And that’s kind of a bummer, because there was a lot of potential. But if the quality of the storytelling is unable to make heard the voices and experiences it ought to, especially with such a receptive, enthusiastic audience, then maybe it’s time we start looking for other shows that do a better job, or better yet, continue to keep telling and creating our own.

Those are just my thoughts. Please feel free to discuss with me in the comments or via DM, because I’m still talking through this stuff and welcome the conversation and any alternate or opposing viewpoints.

I’ll be back in a bit to share a second post with my far less forgiving thoughts about Roswell’s representation of queer female sexuality, because that one’s a doozy and the gloves come off. Sorry not sorry in advance.

[mahvaladara]

Face of Humanity - A DMC Fanfic “short” teaser

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Characters: Vergil, V, Griffon and Shadow.

Context: This is part of a multi-chapter fanfic I am working on the World of Devil May Cry, that happens shortly after Devil May Cry 5. A new adventure starting with the reawakening of an ancient demon queen. In the events of the story, the man known as “V” returns, not as a dreg of a half, but as a full living person.

Synopsis: Vergil was curious about seeing the face of his own humanity. And an opportunity presents itself to him.

It seemed like regardless of how hard V brushed, he could not get rid of that lavender dust that would come out from his skin. It was almost like a layer of glittering sand, covering his body at intermittent intervals. Ella had explained to him that would pass, once the Oroth was satisfied with his “creation”, but it still felt uncomfortable, as if he was covered in sand.

It itches.

The Oroth. 

He was confused at this, at his ‘creation’, as Ella had told him. He remembered the Oroth, barely, but he did. He remembered it from a time before Mundus, it was before he - Vergil - fell prey to Mundus and the Demon World. It was before Power meant everything.

He brushed his arms again, causing the sand like mist to fall off, completely, didn’t seem like more would form. He watched, at last, the swirling lines of the demons that inhabited the ink on his body.

V followed the lines. He knew them well, but for some reason, he had believed they’d be gone. Vergil had abandoned the nightmares, had left them behind to battle Dante, he remembered this. So why were they etched to his skin as if they were part of him?

Shouldn’t they be gone? Yet again, so should he.

His dark green eyes fell on the cane on the room and he wondered if they were related to the cane. But it was simple metal, even if now it was infused with the blood of the Oroth. Could it be for the blood of Vergil? Could it be that regardless of how much he accepted his nightmares, he could never truly get rid of them? And as V relied so heavily on them for his own survival, did the Oroth replicated them on his skin?

V shivered, hugging himself as he paced impatiently in the small room that Ella had given him. The night breeze slipping through the cracked glass of the windows, bringing with it the moonlight. The white light reflected on the sandy mist that stubbornly continued to seep of his body, and he sighed. 

Seemed like the Oroth was not yet fully satisfied. So he brushed the sand off again, that was starting the fade away, apparently completely once more.  

He wondered how much more of the compound was cracked and ruined from the actions of the Cultists.

At least I’m not lavender anymore, V thought to himself. He heard the cackling of Griffon on the depths of his mind and tried to cast the demon silent. It burst out of the ink, laughing maniacally as it landed on the empty dresser on the room.

“Look at you, all flustered and upset! Dear princess, do you need help?” Griffon laughed mockingly.

The bird was still the same, for the most part. Black and blue, that devious glare, though the edges of his feathers seemed tainted of white.

Suddenly V heard the door rattle and stepped back, Griffon yelped and disappeared back into the ink, his cackling on the back of V’s mind. 

The door was opened back and V felt his breath get caught on his throat and his posture stiffened as he was met by cold blue eyes, white hair cleanly pushed back. Vergil’s scowl fell on him and V froze in place. That was the last person V would ever think to see staring him in the eyes that was not through a mirror glass. 

Vergil scoffed, shaking his head. On his hands he held clothing and he walked in, placing the clothes on the bed, constantly followed and watched by V’s frightened eyes.

He cast me out? No. Then it would be ‘Urizen’, not Vergil.

“Quit glaring at me,” Vergil growled and V flinched.

“You don’t frighten me anymore,” V mumbled.

“I don’t?” Vergil turned to face him and walked over to him.

V stepped back as Vergil leaned forward, causing V to stagger back uneasily, his legs wobbly, and he wasn’t sure if it was fear or if it was his weakened state from his forced premature creation.

“For someone not frightened by my mere presence, you reek of fear,” Vergil grinned giving V one push.

Though it was a small push, it felt like V had just been slammed back, and he lost his footing, falling flat on his back with a loud grunt and thud. Instantly from the ink Shadow burst forth, standing protectively between V and Vergil, but not attacking, as if the nightmare still held loyalty to Vergil but was not about to let Vergil harm its host. V slowly sat up, holding his body up with his elbows, as he looked up to meet Vergil’s freezing glare, feeling as if all air had been pushed out of his body.

Vergil watched him, crossing his arms. His expression was unreadable. Lips pursed to a thin line, brow relaxed, eyes cold and attentive. 

“Ella sent those clothes for you,” Vergil spoke, startling V. “I took the liberty of choosing them.”

To that V lifted a confused brow. At his surprised expression, Vergil shook his head and turned his back on V, starting to unfold and set out the clothes, not aiding the man up. 

Instead, Shadow got closer to the green-eyed man, and holding onto her, V sluggishly got up, his legs trembling uneasily. He reached for his cane for support.

“They resemble the ones Griffon first picked for you when I… got rid of you,” Vergil explained. “Though these ones have a bit more tact.”

Vergil looked at him over his shoulder. Not taking his eyes from him, V walked over to the bed. Vergil handed him the clothes. A white cotton shirt, with puffy sleeves, black slacks, the black sandals, and a long dark vest very similar to the one he wore before, with the same inside pockets, held together by nicely crafted strings, and that strange corset-like vest up front. It was almost identical. 

The accessories were also similar, and V wondered why Vergil had gone through so much trouble.

Remembering something, V reached for his neck, touching the pendant he wore, the tooth and black leather string and then looked at his left middle finger, to the thick silver ring. He didn’t remember putting them on. The last memories he shared with Vergil told him these items, the pendant and ring, had been buried under the Oroth. 

Was that why he had them on? The Oroth returned them to him? It certainly gave him back the cane.

Being met again by Vergil’s attentive glance, V took the clothes and sat on the bed, slowly putting them on.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, not meeting Vergil’s watchful eyes.

The whole process of putting his clothes on, Vergil watched him, leaving V feeling more and more uncomfortable on an almost voyeuristic level. He was half tempted in asking the man to leave, but he was also afraid what that could result, and in his weakened state, he feared he proved little of a threat for Vergil.

“You’re missing your underwear,” Vergil pointed out. V looked up at him confused. 

“Underwear,” Vergil repeated pointing.

V looked at the pair on boxers over the bed as he closed the belt of his pants and starting to tie the strings of his vest. Vergil lifted a brow and grinned. The first time V hadn’t worn any, and this time he honestly hadn’t considered it.

V didn’t know what to think or say. Had he gone insane? Had he been split again and the trauma of it driven him through the looking glass? 

He couldn’t understand what was going on, or why he was even staring at Vergil.

“We-... you-” V tried to start, not meeting Vergil’s harsh glare. “Did we... split?”

“How much of my memories do you share?” Vergil asked instead.

He knew the answer to his own question, he realized at Vergil’s question. The Oroth was responsible for him being here. He wasn’t split. He was born, forcibly so, and prematurely too. That was why his body was so frail.  The Oroth had created him, but what did that mean?

Ella’s words echoed in his memory as if they had been spoken to V and not to Vergil.

You owe someone an apology Vergil, and that someone is you.

“How do you apologize to your human heart, for callously throwing it out as if it was trash?”

If you cannot apologize to them, then give the apology to the Oroth, she will give the apology in your stead.

“Everything,” V confessed, casting back the memories.

Vergil walked to stand in front of V and kneed down so he was at eye level with the man. 

Blue eyes met green eyes.

“So this is the face of my humanity,” Vergil said simply. “This is the half I hold within me. The half I threw out for it was heavy chains that bound my soul.”

V looked away, balling his hands into fists over his thighs. His body trembled as pain flooded through his every sense. 

Heavy chain that does freeze my bones. 

Was he there just to remind him that he didn’t want him? Was that-

No, no. That didn’t make sense.

How do you apologize to your human heart. He remembered that he remembered Vergil feeling that, thinking that, actually speaking it to Ella.

“I was curious to look at you,” Vergil continued. “You look so very different from me, it is frightening. Yet so similar. Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror?”

“Yes...” V answered, meeting his eyes.

Vergil smiled, for V’s surprise, though it was a frightening grin in his opinion.

“Look yourself in the mirror for me. There’s one in the bathroom,” Vergil ordered.

Supporting himself on the cane, V walked over to the bathroom and did as he was told. He looked at his own tired reflection. His hair was black from the ink of his familiars, chin length, parted to the left. His features were completely different from Vergil’s, not as harsh or stoic, softer actually, younger even. His eyes were green, instead of the blue that marked Vergil, Dante and even Nero.

You remind me I can be human, the memory spoke. He laid in bed, and she smiled at him. Green eyes, blond hair, soft smile. Her lips were pink, and she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She reminded him of his mother, the same kind smile, the smile that left behind.

But Ella’s eyes were green. And that was exactly what Vergil loved about her, her smile, her green eyes.

V held himself on the sink, as he crashed back into reality, his head pounding.

“You couldn’t be any more different from me,” Vergil stood at the doorway. “Everything you do, or have, that even resembles me is mine. Including your memories. You’re a copy. Actually, not even a copy. You’re more like a failed replica.”

Griffon, who had been cackling as the background noise on his mind tell the moment, amused at the idea of Vergil himself chewing through V, fell quiet. Deadly so. Each word of Vergil cut into him to the point V had stopped breathing and could only hear the pounding of his heart on his head. 

Breathe, Shakespeare. Griffon kindly reminded him. And V started breathing shallowly. His body reacting to the words violently.

Why was he here? He wasn’t supposed to be here. He saw it through.

Heavy chain that does freeze my bones.

A hand landed on his shoulder and with a startle V turned around on his heels, pushing Vergil back and staggering. His legs gave up under him and he nearly fell if Vergil hadn’t caught him by the wrist, holding him upright with eyes wide in concern. The cane fell to the ground clattering.

“W-why are you saying these things to me?” V asked pulling free from Vergil’s as his expression reverted to that cold seriousness that was normal of him.

V held himself on the sink. “Have you not- Do you despise me so?”

“I used to,” Vergil confessed, silencing V completely. Vergil kneeled down and grabbed the cane, handing it to V.

V stared at it, wide-eyed, not knowing if he should take it or not. Vergil just held it out, watching V, his expression as devoid of emotion as before, waiting.

Frowning, V snatched the cane from his grasp, as his initial fear and panic were replaced by overpowering anger. Anger that Vergil knew so well.

Was I not worth saving?

She went looking for you, and it was that that killed her. Dante’s voice echoed in his ears. Words spoken to Urizen, to Vergil, but not to V. Because the demon mattered, the whole did, not not the petty small humanity. No one care for him. They left him behind, dying, literally falling apart and if it wasn’t Nero...

Was he really so meaningless to Vergil that he wasn’t even worth the energy Vergil would spend on any meaningful form of expression?

Vergil suddenly spoke: “I was misguided in my beliefs. I thought that I needed to cast you out in order to reach the power I needed, but by doing it, I only made myself an easy adversary and threw myself at defeat.”

“What is this? What are you doing?” V asked, anger lacing his words.

“I nearly killed my own son for my madness,” Vergil continued. “And I nearly killed myself too. You, in this case. And you are a part of who I am. A half can never reach the potential of the whole.”

V watched him, his anger replaced by confusion. Vergil sighed as if he was having difficulty expressing himself, and for a second V knew exactly what he was doing. 

He was apologizing!

He wouldn’t say sorry, that would be admitting his weakness, and that wasn’t who Vergil was. Perhaps that was who V was, but not Vergil.  Not once Vergil would admit he was sorry, but he was truly sorry and V knew it, because V could feel it. 

V could remember it. That was why he buried the pendant, the ring. He didn’t expect to apologize to V, so he hoped the Oroth would instead.

“Ella told me, if I offered the memory of you to the Oroth, I could tell you- I could…” Vergil stopped himself when V stepped towards him.

How do you apologize to your human heart?

“I didn’t plan to meet you so soon, especially not with you holding my memories, or staring at me with such anger. You were supposed to be made new, completely new memories, new life. A chance to have what both me and my son never did. Not neglected, abused or unwanted...”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Vergil confessed. “But, the situation required you to join the fight sooner.”

“I am to blame for your incomplete creation, as I am the one who told him to stab the tree with your cane. If he hadn’t stabbed the Oroth, it would have taken it years, maybe decades, for it to create you.”

V simply watched in silence. He knew the nightmares were as attentive to what Vergil was saying as V himself was, and it was the strangest thing V ever felt. 

This silence. And his chest actually ached, a clenching pain that persisted throughout his very breathe.

“I know,” V nodded. You were afraid. Vergil was scared, for Ella, for Nero, heck, even for Dante. He would never admit it, but V knew it. For that was the final memory. Vergil’s fear.

V didn’t dare speak that part out. He suspected if he did he’d only spark Vergil’s aggression, and Vergil was already having a hard time dealing with the guilt that flooded his very posture.

“What I mean to say is… What I mean to tell you, to tell myself is,” and he took a deep breath as if preparing to let out this small piece of vulnerability, of humanity.

“You didn’t deserve what I did to you. You were worth more than the worth I gave you. I understand that now. I could never hope to defeat Dante, not without being my whole self.”

And for this, I am genuinely sorry.

Vergil didn’t speak those last words, but they were as clear to V as they were to Vergil himself. And somehow, despite the relief he felt from this, from this knowledge, from this sudden sense of worth, from the value of this apology, V also felt his entire world come crashing down.

And all it took, was for Griffon ask, in the back of his mind:

“You know the real V is inside him, right? Real Griffon, Shadow and Nightmare were destroyed by Dante and the real V is in there. Which makes me wonder: What are we? Ghosts? Copies? Replicas? What are you? V?”

V trembled, his breathing laboured and he turned his back to the mirror, holding himself on the sink.

“What does this make me?” V asked. “I… V… your humanity. It is part of you. I am not him, am I? I am something made by the Oroth from your identity, from his identity. A failed replica, as you said? Is that what am I?”

“Only you can answer that, V,” Vergil admitted. “The Oroth has made you your own self. You don’t need me to exist, or Urizen.”

V looked at him.

“Urizen... Is that how you called him, how you called me? The Book of Urizen. ... Like a human heart struggling and beating, the vast world of Urizen appear’d.”

And Vergil grinned. “Fitting. Of course the shadow of my memories would pick that name. It was my favourite book, truth be told. Mother gave it to me.”

“And you gave it to Nero.”

“You wanted me to, didn’t you?” Vergil asked to which V nodded.

“He was the only one who helped me get to Urizen, get to you,” V answered closing his eyes. “If he did not, we’d both be dead.”

The silence extended between the two, but they shared that one thought. Nero’s humanity was what made them both realize the worth of themselves. It was what ultimately saved them, twice over.

“Finish getting dressed, V. Ella wants to meet you, the crew too,” Vergil turned his back then stopped, looking back at V.

“By the way,” he started. V looked up at him. “That that you are feeling right now is called anxiety. I advise you to calm down or you’re going to throw up or pass out. Take your pick.”

With a quite devious grin, Vergil left. And V leaned over his cane, covering his face, pushing the bangs of his hair back, the way he always did, the way Vergil always did.

[migleefulmoments]

lmao Abby is losing her shit because Darren is gonna be singing White Christmas with Lea on her new Christmas album. Apparently that song is "sacred" and can only be sang by Darren and Chris. She seriously needs to get a grip.

Anonymous said: "I can be upset, I think it is a complete slap in the face. there are like 3000 christmas songs, there are THREE that are sacred.   And yes, D should have sad no." Oh look Abby doesn't approve of something Darren is doing AGAIN. Seriously she claims to be his biggest fan but yet complains about everything he does.

Man, I didn’t see this coming. I’m amazed at how deeply emotional they are about a scripted, tv-show couple and a really old song! I might understand  if Abby was a lesbian teenager and this was 2011. It was empowering for gay, lesbian and bisexual kids and young adults to turn on network tv and see people that looked liked them. But times they have a changed. Klaine and Brittana pushed boundaries, but in 2019 there are LGBTQ characters on many shows, Netflix has LGBTQ programing and Ryan Murphy continues to create shows that specifically tell LGBTQ stories-ie Pose and he has created LGBTQ characters for all of his shows because that’s life. He’s continues to normalize LGBTQ characters on his shows: 911 has a main character who is a married lesbian, The Politician has gay characters and its been reported that Rock Hudson will be a character in Hollywood. 

So here we are in 2019 and Abby is devastated that the sacred White Christmas will be covered by Darren and Lea on her new Christmas album. First off, why is the song sacred? Abby mentioned the “Bryant Park riot”-a riot we know never happened. The people “holding the fandom together” were not in the cc fandom when Chris and Darren filmed in Bryant Park. Their “memories” of that day have all been created by watching a few moments of the 11-hour day. I’ve come to realize that the cc theory is built on slowed-down gifs and screenshots. Reality looks nothing like cc so they manipulate the facts to fit their needs. It’s a powerful method because it is so easy to con people into believing inane facts. I am sure that Abby and Flowers and Cassie and Leka fully believe everything they hold near and dear about CrissColfer.  It’s all a lie but they fully believe they are throwing out tried-and-true proven facts. Abby in particular is really baffled why we can’t see what she see. The difference between them and us is that we don’t listen with our eyes. We don’t get information about Darren and Mia by piecing together gifs. That’s it-gifs and screenshots from videos! Can you imagine if a lawyer a police officer  used a gif as evidence? 

Nobody set out to con the tinhatters into believing a fantasy that doesn’t exits-in fact, nobody is conning the fandom-they are conning themselves. They don’t look at the  evidence and form an opinion- they literally create the evidence. Zoom in a photo until you can crop out what you need or clip 1-2 seconds from a longer video, slow it down, add some text and suddenly *BAM* you have proof! Proof with all the drama and emotion to make it feel so much more important than it was. 

How the shit hit the fan:

Leka:

jaci3

I will definitely be purchasing this album! So much talent! Cynthia!! Darren!! Jonathan and Lea!!

notes-from-nowhere

I’m going to take this as a good news👍🏻

ajw720

But no, no, no no. Do not get me wrong, I am thrilled D is on the album, but no, no, no, not a K/laine song. Why?  There are so many Christmas songs out in the world and they chose a K/laine song?  

I have no interest, it can never live up.

I hate 2019.

DRAMA MUCH?

Thanks, but it’s a hard pass for me.

ajw720

I actually have tears in my eyes. This feels like a complete slap in the face. Sorry, but it is and it should not have been this song and I don’t care what you believe, Those songs are sacred to the K/laine fandom whether you think he is married to her or with C or something completely different.  

How many Christmas songs are there to choose from? If she wanted WC, she could have sang it with someone else.

With you @cassie1022 hard pass.  It may seem silly to be this upset about something, but this actually makes me angry.  I feel like K/laine fans are being discarded. That is his LEGACY, something he should be proud of, through that character and that pairing, he and C made a difference, and I do not understand why it needs to constantly be chipped away.  

I have to say the thing that strikes me the most is how obtuse she is about what Glee was the end. It was a mess. I loved Glee but most of the fun by the end was the amazing fanfiction, Fanon Klaine and fandom itself. It was fun to get the song sneak peeks and BTS photos and videos. It was amazing to be a part of a fandom of people who loved what I did. It is amazing to be part of the Chris and Darren stanclub.  But Glee...it was a disaster. .

Leka proves some context for “White Christmas is Sacred” and notice how how many are gifs: 

leka-1998

Excuse you.

WC is so much more than just a song.

undefined

(She does know this is a scripted moment right? Darren didn’t actually travel to NYC from Lima with Chris’s dad and someone told him when to skate, what to say, what to sing.). 

“It’s been a whirlwind, but amazing. We got to film at the ice skating rink in Bryant Park, which was just incredible. It was one of the best filming experiences I’ve ever had.”

- Ch/ris Col/fer

(Yes, Darren laid down on the carpet and took a picture of Chris which was  about the most cc thing that happened in 11 hours)

(I have no doubt that these three gifs were created from 1 or 2 seconds of real-time video. These images created the false impression that they spent the day together, gleefully skating and being intimate. Not too long ago, I read a cc post that claimed “Darren spent the day taking care of Chris”.  No, not true- see the videos below for a more realistic representation of the day). )  

#truly this really upsets me

(I guess she is reminding us of how much they mean to the world- eye roll.)  

I tried finding a long video on YouTube-ideally much of the day or even just big chucks of the day but *surprise* nobody bothered to upload that snooze fest. If the day was actually the cc riot the posse believes it was, there would be an 11-hour complication video.

I did find some video that accurately represents what I remember. Basically just imagine 11 hours of the following: 

undefined

Chris was pretty shaky when they started skating but by the time they filmed, he was much better. I cannot imagine being on skates for 11- shaky- hours.

undefined

undefined

Chris skating alone, trying to get more comfortable with skating before filming.

That’s it! That s the totality of what is posted on YouTube from the “Riot”.

The conversation continues; 

Anonymous asked:

White Christmas is literally one of the most cliché christmas songs. The album is just Lea's favorites. Darren has sung White Christmas before and he sounded amazing so it's only natural she would invite him to sing it with her. I get the a lot of things can be frustrating, but good god you all being THIS upset about it is the reason why everyone mock our fandom. It's not even baby it's could outside. At least we know for sure chris is going to be mentioned at some point during the promo.

ajw720 answered: (in victim mode)

Why do you care if I am this upset?  Seriously, let them mock me, they have blogs dedicated to hating me and posts multiple times a day.  I am over it, they are the ones with the sad lives who actually give me power.  

(Nope, not dedicated to “hating you”, I simply debunk your “facts” and “proof” beaus they are not evidence of CrissColfer; Yes, this is unfortunately a negative side effect to disproving your lies- you don’t care if the attention is negative or positive- you just like the attention. But pointing out the lies and misinformation is more important to me ) 

I can be upset, I think it is a complete slap in the face. there are like 3000 christmas songs, there are THREE that are sacred.   And yes, D should have sad no.  We sit here and swallow everything, including having “D” himself mock and yell at our fandom on SM.  And I virtually defend everything he does, probably to a fault, including holding out that person as his wife. This was easily avoidable.

(well at least you acknowledge that Darren calls out your fandom for their bad behavior on social media. Now would be a good time to really analyze why you think that is. Really sit down and think about why Darren would mock your fandom without a gif or a screenshot to zoom in on. What would drive him to be angry at a ccer?) . 

Sorry, not sorry, don’t like, post on your own blog and stop reading mine if you don’t like the way i represent. Happy to pace the torch. 

(Wow she is happy to pass the torch? Right. ) 

notes-from-nowhere

(Notes comes in and tries to soothe Abby’s fragile nerves).

So, I feel the need to say something. I’m not that much upset for the song mostly because I think it may be the song D picked out if those presented to him so I don’t fully like the idea but it could have been worse. At least all of the involved knows the meaning of the song.

What bothers me though is this kind of attitude, anon. This urgency to come here and to tell to another person what/how/when she should feel about something. Trying to put a weight on it or to dismissed the rightfulness of her feelings.

If this is how she (and everyone else) feels about this, she has the right and the freedom to say it out loud without having to face someone else’s judgement because maybe she has another opinion.

(and the anon has the right to say what she feels-see how that works?)

There are different ways to approach a person to communicate so please next time, think better.

ajw720

Thank you @notes-from-nowhere, hard to believe, the above was at least more respectful than this anon:

This is why I left the fucking fanbase. I still very much agree with the same views and ideas that all of you have, but jesus christ, it’s a SONG. Calm down. I’m just happy whenever D does something that doesn’t envolve PBB. Getting so upset because D is singing a song that he sang with C. Maybe he’s doing it because it reminds him of the Bryant Park shoot? Maybe? Good god, everything is the apocalypse to you guys. Leaving was the best thing I’ve ever done.

I want to remind everyone, I am the one, with a handful of people, keeping this fandom alive and supporting D&C daily,. And just like i can praise them, i can tell them when they hurt me.  This hurt. Maybe I am being overly dramatic and if this was isolated, i would say yes. This is not isolated, it is a continued effort to erase K/laine and CC.  As has been pointed out, not only did they offend K/laine fans in general, it is a knock at our fandom who still to this day celebrate the skating riot.

(Oh lord, she reminds us she is the HBIC, sacrificing everything to keep the fandom together. I love that she believes this is “supporting D&C daily”. Nobody needs to be told the suck everyday.  She support them and so she can criticize them but nonnie cannot criticize her. That makes perfect sense) 

Again literally THOUSANDS of songs to choose from.  Not even sure why L would EVER want to compete with C, but in this case, the fault doesn’t lie with her.  D should have said no.  

(I don’t think Lea is too worried about putting up her vocal chops against Chris’.  The both have great voices)

I am not going to say anything else and just accept that yet another of D’s 2019 projects is something i won’t ever see or hear.  

(once again it’s all about her and her hurt feelings. But this response is at least rationale-if you don’t like the project- skip it. It isn’t Darren’s responsibly to provide 100% Abby approved content)   

I really hope things are going to change, I really, really do.

(But they aren’t..they really aren’t.  This is Darren’s life and I know it’s super stressful because you are trying to hard to make his life work with yours and it just won't You both have very conflicting and opposing goals for Darren’s life. Here’s a protip: Go on a gif-free and zoomed-photo-free diet for a few months. Analyze the information at face value. Learn what PR really means and see how things look.If for no other reason than your own sanity. Stop trying to shove the square peg in the round hole 

#please do not send any more asks on this topic

#i am very upset

ajw720

My feelings aside, WHY in the world would LM EVER want to compete with this? Sorry, but it won’t be half as good. Stupid move and that is trying to remove my bias.

(Her thought processes never ceases to amaze me. Abby and Trump- they start criticizing and they just can’t stop. Lea gets to make her own decisions about what songs she sings, who she’s competitive with, whether she wants to take a chance and put herself out there or not. It just isn’t anyone else’s business. Chris has a beautiful voice but Lea has a stunning voice-she isn’t worried. This is right up there with her criticisms of TSG’s air conditioning, drink names, theme nights and every comment she’s made about a bar she will never go to.