#clowningking

[neerasrealm]

you miss jalgo?? this is a jalgo request :))

YEAHHHH these two make me happy both in an angsty way and a goofy gay people way. Here are some random headcanons

Zalgo doesn’t eat food super often, he doesn’t get hungry so it’s only when he has to or feels like it

When he DOES want food, he goes to Jason for it.

Does it actually taste that good or is he just dumb and gay? No idea bro no idea

Despite the fact that he’s an all powerful god, Jason is SICK OF ZALGO’S SHIT

Launches himself across the table to throw hands it ends up being weirdly homoerotic

Both of them wear makeup. Jason more often than Zalgo, y’know, his emo ass eyeliner

Zalgo taught him to use makeup initially

They do each other’s makeup change my mind

‘‘How am I better at doing wings than you?’‘

‘‘SHUT UP JASON-’‘

They often go to fancy formal events, usually for Evil Reasons

But of course, if it’s a fancy event and Zalgo’s involved...you know he’s getting himself involved

Drags Jason onto the dance floor when he’s tryna do shit and plays up the ‘‘married couple’‘ act they’re pulling

Oh yeah fake dating is a thing that happens only Jason lost track of when it stopped being /j and became /srs

The two of them used to play music a lot in the old days <3 Zalgo can play pretty much any instrument and of course sings. Jason knew piano, violin and some harp. He hasn’t touched music in a looong time though

anyway I’m listening to Baby Got Back rn and now it’s canon Jason has had to listen to Zalgo serenade him with it

‘‘I FUCKING HATE YOU’‘

‘‘You wanna kiss me so bad lol’‘

I feel like hair dye shenanigans happened at one point. and then never again.

Jason doesn’t trust Zalgo near his hair anymore.

Oh yeah and in the 60s and 70s they were definitely getting high as shit. They’re both inhuman they can do whatever they want so why not am I right??

Jason probably doesn't remember most of it

Thinking about them in the early years wait wtf...they were just running around having fun being evil

Ok that's making me sad anyway Jason gets his ass smacked 10 times a week

He doesn't even have cake Zalgo just sees him leaning over and goes "CRUSH KILL DESTROY"

Jason just screams then goes into attack mode right there in the laundry room

(Lazari voice) MOM AND DAD ARE FIGHTING AGAIN

[batvillainz]

non binary joker?

[gothamsworst]

I'm so glad you're doing okay !! I hope your pain eases up soon

Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment!

[pernicious-pastas]

maybe this is why wed get sonic,,,, no one thirsts over him,, we aren't gonna try shag sonic are we love? no we really arent

SHAG SONIC ARE WE LOVE BAHAHAHAH THE ACCENT IS COMING THRU THE PHONE BABYYYYYYYYYYYY i love u clowningking i am

sorry

[frozensriracha]

Hi! Can I request Laughing Jack with a lesbian friend who can't live at home anymore so they ask to stay with him, platonic obviously. Just some friendly support would be nice. Thank you!

When you tell L.J. you can’t live at home anymore and need somewhere to live, he will immediately offer you a place at his carnival.

He’ll probably put you in a hotel room for a day or two so he can get the carnival fixed up.  It’s never been the most sanitary or safe of places (plus it has this pervasive musty smell throughout,) and he usually finds that humans don’t like bad sanitary conditions, unsafe machinery, or pervasive musty smells.   When you approach the carnival after L.J.’s cleaned it and fixed the rides, the broken-down old carnival jumps to life, and you’re pleasantly surprised to smell carnival foods and freshly mowed grass instead of that weird musty smell

He gives you your own tent, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you coming into his for a slumber party

As a stuffed clown doll, L.J. has no use for a bathroom, so you get the renovated carnival restrooms all to yourself, and nobody’s going to ask you how much longer or when they can get in or anything.  He’ll also knock the gender marker off the door and replace it with a little plaque that says “Y/N (best friend :) )”

I have a headcanon that he doesn’t know a lot about human needs, but there is one thing he knows: humans need water.  Every day, L.J. will remind you to drink your water and hand you the Brita filter and a cup, and he’ll pout and his nose will droop until you’ve had a glass of water.  It can be a little annoying at times but it’s honestly pretty endearing at the same time.  He means well :)

Off topic, but I have no doubt that when he first learned that, he tried to water his friend with a watering can

Pranks wouldn’t happen often, he'd banter with you or tell you jokes more often, but occasionally, he might short-sheet your bed or put a whoopee cushion on your chair.

L.J.’s not the most skilled cook, but he can do some baking!  The carnival always smells like cookies or brownies for hours after his baking sessions, and he’ll happily share with you.

Of course, he goes back to your old place every once in a while to get you some stuff (and if anyone kicked you out, fuck with them.  He won’t actually kill anyone unless you ask him to, but that won’t stop him from moving all the furniture an inch to the left or booby-trap the house a la Home Alone 2.)

If you have any pets, he’s taking them with him, no doubt about it.  He’ll be quite upset and probably cry if your baby is scared of him, but once they warm up to him (and believe me, they will,) good luck separating them-

If you don’t have a pet (or even if you do,) don’t fret, he’ll let you adopt his circus animals

L.J. is a little nervous about taking you into Slender Forest.  If he ever takes you to Slender Mansion, he simply teleports you there, but if you want to go in Slender Forest, he’s pretty reluctant to let you go in there alone.  If you want to go in there regularly, he’ll find a spell to protect you, and just to be on the safe side, supply you with a red laser pointer in case one of the monsters gets too close.

Sometimes, he’ll take you out to some of his favorite haunts around the Underworld for a change of scenery. These include a plethora of sweet shops, a boba café, an arcade BEN showed everyone once and LJ got hooked on, some silly tourist attractions, and an animal shelter he likes to baby the animals at.

If you’re single, he won’t set you up with anyone unless asked explicitly, but that won’t stop him from pointing out that cute girl working at the sweet shop who looks just your type.

Your friends (and if you’re seeing someone already, partner,) will certainly be welcome at the carnival!  L.J. will probably be a little standoffish and overprotective at first, but unless he has a really bad feeling about someone, he’ll come around pretty soon!  He’ll leave you guys alone by default, but if you introduce him to them, or even better, you guys ask him to hang out, he’ll be ecstatic, and probably start bouncing around and giggling.  He’ll waive carnival admission fees, and even perform private shows for you guys if you want ^^

If you’re with someone, prepare to be teased.  It never goes further than him singing the tree song when you two are together or some other elementary school-ish joke, but it can get real irritating real quickly.  He’s pretty socially awkward and will need you to tell him to go away, but once you or your partner asks him to leave, he’ll immediately leave and won’t bother you guys unless the carnival’s on fire.

The other pastas--usually Jill, Jason, and Candy Pop--come over with some frequency.  If you’re feeling up to it, he’d 100% introduce you to the others.  Don’t worry, all of them will be super nice to you!  Everyone knows better than to fuck with L.J.’s friends.

I headcanon that electronics don’t work at the carnival so victims can’t call for help, so he has to get some special devices from the Underworld and wheedle internet service out of BEN. Guys...this man can’t work anything more technologically advanced than a kerosene lamp. You’ll have to give him lessons, which is a slightly infuriating struggle, but worth it when he sends you that first meme in class.

If you don’t plan on staying permanently, he understands, and will gladly search for a new place or house hunt with you.  He’ll be pretty sad to see you go, and plan on visiting a minimum of twice a week.  If you’re looking for somewhere to rent or buy, he’s going to be offering quite a few of his own opinions along the way (seeing as he is going to be over often)

“I really liked the second apartment we saw today; it’s decently priced, the location’s great, it comes with two bathrooms, I could really see myself living there for a while.”

“I could really see myself banging my head on those ceilings.  Why, I’ll have a concussion within the week!”

“L.J.-”

“And besides, the wallpaper in the den is hideous.”

However, if you do decide to stay at the carnival, L.J. will be bouncing off the walls with glee! He’ll hug you tightly and do a dance, and when you told him, you could swear that you saw a little bit of blue returning to his eyes.

@zilia1938 @clowningking @neerasrealm @queenofmandy idk you guys’ sexualities, but here. Hab living with lj headcanons 🥺

[neerasrealm]

I wonder if laughing Jack's dick works if it's made of fabric

please go to therapy.

[pernicious-pastas]

creepypasta fandom wiki: laughing jack is a disgusting, vile demonic clown. he will mercilessly kill a child with a grin on his face and doesn’t care about anyone but his own sick desires.

lj simps: did i hear,,, did i hear demon clown ??? guys two for one deal let’s go 🤪🤪🤪

[neerasrealm]

URL origin:

"Neera" was a character I created to be this blog's 'mascot' and while she has a story and role, I've never talked about or drawn her. I added "realm" to the end because canonically, she resides in her own personal realm watching over things. I wanted it to feel like she was overseeing everything and narrating what she saw in my fics but that kinda fell off :T

Favorite color:

Blue!! Especially light pastel blues <3

Tagging: @dragongirl2 @clowningking @zilia1938 and @queenofmandy

Starting a new tag game!

This one is complicated, but I hope you like it! If you get tagged, reblog with the meaning/origin of your url, your favorite color, and tag at least 5 people who put something on your dash that made you smile. Not just followers or mutuals, anybody that posted something that ended up on your dash. I’ll start. 

URL: tribblemakingalicorn. I joined tumblr for Star Trek (Tribble) and KOTLC (alicorn). I’m also a troublemaker, so tribblemakingalicorn! 

Favorite Color: Currently its any shade of teal to indigo. I’m partial to periwinkle. 

Five people who made me smile today: @tikkunolamorgtfo @enbies-and-felonies @im-a-blood-sokka-for-you @make-kotlc-gayer @rowark

[frozensriracha]

LJ: *goes out to Target wearing an inflatable Halloween T-Rex*

Y/N: See, this is the cryptid I fell in love with. Do I have regrets? No... not really.

@neerasrealm @zilia1938 @clowningking MY LOCAL LJ LOVERS, COME GET YALL JUICE

[neerasrealm]

cc this angst? too much I beg you for a happy ending i beg i beg

Me and @zilia1938 have agreed on a happy ending but for now. More angst and drama.

"JACK?!"

Slender's feet thudded across the ground as he ran through the forest fire. His chest burned as he gasped for air. He glanced behind him. Jeff and some of the other kids were still following, which was good. He'd gotten separated from his husband though, and he could only imagine what had happened to him.

"SLENDER?!"

He skidded to a stop and whirled around at the voice calling him. He took off running again and heard Jeff yell out a string of curses behind him. He leapt over a fallen log and whirled around to see two people sitting by a tree. Zero, and his husband Jack. He bolted forward, kneeling in front of Jack. He groaned softly and looked up at him.

"Ey luv..." He murmured. He pulled his hand away from where it was resting on his hip. There was a large hole in his torso, tipped with scorch marks. Fire...one of the few things that would likely kill Jack.

"We got the fire out before it got too bad," Zero said. "But- we don't know if we can fix him-" she shifted on her feet nervously. The trees above them rustled and another person dropped down. Sally. She looked at her father, an expression of fear on her face.

"The mansion's gone." She murmured. "Z-Zalgo has calmed down but the fire- we don't have long." She gulped.

"He's calm?" Natalie asked behind them. She looked at Jack and Slender, then turned to Jane.

"What are you thinking Nat?"

"...we need to get Jason. He can help Jack, he's a toymaker, right?!" She turned to the others. They all looked apprehensive. "Zalgo is calm- and he likes us! We can- we can convince him to let Jason down and get Jack the help he needs."

It was silent for a long moment before Zero stepped forward. Nat stared at the smaller girl, noting that her eyes had turned green. Alice was in control.

"We wanna help Jason. He isn't safe with Zalgo." She said. "...so what's the plan?"

[pernicious-pastas]

LJ IS BRITISH??? ITS CHEWSDAY INNIT?

BAHAHHAHSVSJSBJABAHAVSHSVAHGAHAGAHHAHAHAHHAJAGAHAHAHAGWH SHUR UP

[neerasrealm]

assign jason a marina and the diamonds song?

I don't really listen to marina and the diamonds bc they're just not my thing but Teen Idle is a vibe and it fits Jason rlly well

[frozensriracha]

C L O W N

@neerasrealm, @zilia1938, @clowningking, @queenofmandy happy holidays you simps >:)

posting different fandom art :eyes:

[neerasrealm]

currently sobbing over the thought of zalgo just sat waiting for days for jason, getting sadder and less naive to the situation, and finally just lying on the floor cuddling the dog with tears in his eyes realising jason has run away and isnt just being petty

PLEASEEEE ZALGO LIKE NEVER FEELS BAD OR GUILTY OVER ANYTHING BUT NOW HE'S REALISING HE FUCKED UP FOR ONCE AND HE'S JUST SO LONELY AND FULL OF REGRET NOOOO

[neerasrealm]

I too would absolutely LOVE to be drop kicked by jason. a religious experience honestly

jason drop kicks you so high into the air you lock eyes with god before plummeting back down and making a funny splat noise on the pavement

[neerasrealm]

I,,,I WANT slenders anarchist days. I NEED,,,,

THINKING ABOUT SLENDER RUNNING AROUND SETTING FIRE TO BUILDINGS AND COP CARS MAKES ME LOSE IT JDJDJDJD so ofc I had to write something short about it. Enjoy.

‘’So you’re adjusting well to living here?’’

Jeff nodded, swinging his legs in the comfy rattan chair. Slender seemed to smile despite his lack of features. ‘’Good, good,’’ he tilted his head at the mansion’s newest resident. ‘’Is there anything you’d like to ask while you’re here?’’

Jeff hummed. He glanced to the side. ‘’What’s that?’’ he pointed to his right. In the centre of a set of cabinets and shelves, was a brick, stuck in a glass display case. Jeff had noticed it earlier and no matter what, his curiosity wouldn’t let him be. Why would Slender have a brick, of all things, displayed in his office?

‘’Hm? Oh!’’ Slender looked at the case. He laughed gently. ‘’Oh that one is a funny story…’’ he stood up slowly and wandered over to the case. ‘’This brick is from back in ‘69, if you can believe it. It’s sort of a- souvenir.’’

‘’Uh-huh?’’ Jeff stood up off the chair and walked over to Slender. He stood beside him, looking at the glass case.

‘’Have you heard of the Stonewall Riots, Jeff?’’ Slender looked down at him. Jeff shook his head. ‘’They were a series of riots up in New York in late June and early July. They lasted about five days,’’ Slender explained. ‘’The riots were held by members of the LGBT community, back in those days we were oppressed badly you see.’’

‘’Woah…’’ Jeff looked at the brick. ‘’So you took a brick as remembrance?’’

Slender laughed. ‘’You could say that,’’ he murmured. ‘’My brother Trender lives in New York you see. He told me and Jack about what was happening, so we went up and well- we did our part.’’

‘’You-’’ Jeff paused for a second. ‘’Did your part…?’’

‘’Well yes. Of course we did, me and Jack are gay and we’d experienced a great deal of oppression ourselves, so when we found out about people rioting for our rights, well,’’ Slender shrugged. ‘’How were we supposed to just ignore it?’’

‘’You went rioting?!’’ Jeff sounded surprised. ‘’But you’re like- the nicest person! You- you bake cookies and plant flowers and call people ‘dear’!’’

Slender laughed. ‘’Yes, yes I know,’’ he looked at the brick fondly. ‘’I was much younger back then. I had the energy to do those things…’’

‘’Well- tell me about it!’’ Jeff gave him an excited grin. ‘’I wanna know like- did you ever set something on fire?!’’

Slender laughed in amusement. ‘’No, no...Jack was the one that liked starting fires. Though- I do remember this one time, we were at a protest for women’s right to divorce. I was in between the protestors and the police, I was trying to keep the police from hurting anybody and this man tried to yank me away, so I- well, I wacked him with my purse! I broke his nose, if I remember right.’’

Jeff stared up, his eyes wide. ‘’You protected people from cops and got violent?!’’

‘’Well- I didn’t like being violent-’’

‘’That’s so cool!’’ Jeff interrupted. ‘’What happened at Stonewall?!’’ he pointed at the brick. ‘’What’d you use it for?!’’

Slender couldn’t help but smile in his own faceless way at the boy’s excitement. Jeff hadn’t opened up very much yet, so seeing him so excited and eager to talk to him was good. Hopeful. ‘’I suppose I could tell you, yes.’’ he reached over and opened the glass case. He took the brick out and weighed it in his hand. ‘’This brick fell from the corner of a building that had been raided. I don’t know who by. I found it on...probably our second and last day of being at the riots,’’ he began. ‘’Me and Jack were running wherever the chaos went. A lot of us stayed in groups, for safety. I believe we were with a lot of young teens at the time. There were a lot of young people, most of which were closeted, who joined the riots. Of course me and Jack couldn’t just leave them unattended, we had to look out for them.’’

Jeff smirked. ‘’Even then you were taking in kids, huh?’’

Slender laughed a bit. ‘’I suppose. Funnily enough, this was before me and Jack had adopted Sally. We had no children, but certainly wanted some.’’ he smiled fondly. ‘’Anyway, as we were running a cop car suddenly swerved around and blocked us off. The police that came out tried to arrest us. Of course that wasn’t going to happen. A fight broke out between our group and the officers- I think there were only three of them, and while Jack was trying to protect those poor kids I noticed the bricks on the ground. I grabbed one, this one,’’ he held the brick down to Jeff, who stared at it in awe. ‘’And I threw it as hard as I could. It hit the officer right in the face! Poor man was out like a light.’’

‘’Really?!’’ Jeff sounded starstruck. ‘’You knocked him out?! Just like that?!’’

‘’I’m a lot stronger than I look.’’ Slender murmured. ‘’Anyway- the kids managed to get the other two officers away from their car and I ran over and grabbed the brick. I broke the window of the car, because I didn’t realise it was unlocked, and told everyone to get in.’’

‘’YOU STOLE A COP CAR?!’’

"It wasn't stealing! More- borrowing without asking."

"PFFFT-" Jeff laughed loudly. "That's so cool! What'd you do next?!"

"Well- we all piled into the car and I started driving. My plan was to get those kids to main street where they could run off to somewhere safe. The riots were getting awful violent and I didn't want anything to happen to them." Slender continued. "After we were sure that the kids had run off home, it was just me and Jack. It was getting late so we just decided to just relax beside the car," Slender laughed fondly. "Oh I remember now- Jack suddenly turned to me and said 'hey love, watch this', and he pulled a molotov out of his sleeve! And I looked at him and I said 'don't you set something on fire!' and you know what he did?"

Jeff smirked. "He...set something on fire?"

"He sure did! He laughed and wandered over to this one storefront, and threw the molotov as hard as he could. I remember- pfffft- he gave me this big, proud smile, the big idiot, and then the shop behind him exploded!"

"It exploded?!" Jeff's eyes widened.

"Yes! I don't know how it happened, but the place just went up in flames! This massive piece of shrapnel came flying out and impaled poor Jack right through the chest!"

"It did?! Holy shit!"

"Language, Jeffrey." Slender cut in.

"Sorry-" Jeff shifted. "So- what happened? Was he okay?"

"Oh yes, yes of course he was alright. Jack is a living toy. He only lost some stuffing and had to rest for a few days. I had to drive the big idiot back to Trender's apartment to sew him up. He still has the scar I believe. You should ask him about it." Slender turned and placed the old, dusty brick back into the glass case. He sighed fondly. "That was a fun day…" he murmured. "I suppose I was more eager to cause trouble in my younger days. Now I'm too busy keeping all of you out of trouble."

Jeff smiled, tilting his head. "Weeelll…" he rocked on his heels. "Maybe I'll stay out of trouble if you tell me more about your rioting days…?"

Slender looked down at Jeff and laughed gently. "...Why not? I'm sure I have a few more stories."