#for anyone who’s wondering why I’m posting… shush.

[lilybug-02]

Humans are weird

Bonus:

I love to think this happened separately 

[faux-ecrivain]

Yandere Fickle Ex-Boyfriend

(Fickle-Changing frequently, especially as regard one’s loyalty, interests, or affection) (Fifteenth official post)

(Merry Christmas! 🎅)

(Happy Holidays!🎄)

(Yan’s name is Julian)

Yan Ex who used to be a wonderful, caring person. Then all of the sudden, just three years into your relationship, he changed.

Yan Ex who begins to distance himself from you, he seems to be shutting you out, and you don’t understand why.

Yan Ex who treats you as a stranger and not someone he adored, you’re so confused, his behavior is so unnatural.

Yan Ex who has previously been absolutely enamored with you and had done absolutely anything to be with you. Now, he’s acting the complete opposite, he treats you as a nuisance.

Julian groans as you cling onto him (you were just holding his hand), he shakes you off and puts some distance between the two of you. Hurt flashes across your face and you feel the tinge of creep into your heart, which makes way for resentment. How dare he treat you like that? Especially after all he’s done to you.

Yan Ex who had spent years breaking you down and then abandoned you when you gave into him. (You hate him so much)

Yan Ex who begins to pursue someone else, someone who he had sworn wasn’t his type. Someone docile and loving, he had always told you that he liked the fight in you.

Yan Ex who makes a show of romancing this docile person (apparently named Alexis) and practically rubs it in your face. 

Yan Ex who never officially broke up with you, but treated you like he did. 

Yan Ex who’s surprised, after weeks of you being quiet, when you lash out and intimidate him, he’s never seen you so mad! (It certainly makes him feel a specific way…)

Yan Ex who immediately becomes interested in you again, now he’s always touching you and kissing up on you. His behavior has you reeling and you almost fall for it again, until you remember how he treated you and you pull back.

Yan Ex who becomes frustrated when you push him away, how dare you behave like that! Yes, he was treating you in a similar manner, but so what! He’s allowed to, but you’re not. At least, that’s what he believes.

Yan Ex who cries when you break up with him, that’s not fair! Only he’s allowed to break up with you, you can’t do that.

Yan Ex who pouts and whines when you ignore his calls, whilst he internally seethes.

Yan Ex who decides to take action and creeps into your room late at night, yes he did climb up your window, but it’s okay because he loves you! (In actuality he’s basically incapable of love)

Yan Ex who shushes your cries for help and tries to keep you from struggling (unfortunately he isn’t stronger than you).

He yelps when you push him off your bed, his head hits the floor and he groans. Julian frowns and sits up, he pouts and crawls back onto the bed. He latches onto you and begs you not to kick him out! “Please, Please, don’t kick me out! I know I’m a fool, but i still love you!” He cries, his head burrowing into your stomach and his tears (clearly fake) soak your shirt. A sound of disgust escapes your mouth and you push him off again. Which, of course, causes him to whine.

Yan Ex who wants yo be in control of the relationship, he wants to choose when to end this relationship and when to destroy it. He won’t ever let anyone make the first move, he should be the only making decisions in this relationship (yet the moment you concede to his will, he gets bored and pushes you away.)

Yan Ex who will not give up, he wants you to love him again, it makes him feel powerful. 

Yan Ex who puts up a fight when you try to throw him out of the house, literally, he’s kicking and screaming, clinging onto you in a manner reminiscent of how you once did.

Julian whines again as he wraps his arms around your waist. He looks (up/down) at you, his eyes filled with tears and the bottom of his lip wobbles. “Pleeease don’t leave me [Y/N], I know I’m not perfect, but I love you!” You roll your eyes, you highly doubt he could ever love you. He’s just being a big, pathetic baby (no offense to babies). You push him off, he grunts when his bottom hits the floor and he burst into tears (he’s a cute cryer, but you won’t tell him that). “[Y/N]! Stop being mean to meee!!” Julian pouts and wraps his arms, and legs, around you leg. 

Yan Ex who clings to you like a koala, regardless of how hard you try to get him off of you. He’s going to keep clinging to you, until he wears you down and then he’ll probably leave you.  But you don’t give in, you just yank him off your leg and throw him out of the house. 

Yan Ex who bangs on the door, begging to be let back in and begging for you to forgive him.

Yan Ex who quickly turns vicious once he sees that his pouty little act isn’t working on you, he begins to shout threats and tells you to watch your back, because he won’t let you go.

Yan Ex who vows to get revenge, who swears you’ll regret ever getting rid of him.

“Ah, you’ll shouldn’t have done that darling, now I have to punish you.”

(That’s all for now, hopefully you guys enjoy this and hopefully this makes sense!)

(Thoughts on Julian?)

[luvhughes43]

all-american b!tch | hughes!sister

guts masterlist🦋 - luvhughes43 masterlist🌙

summary: hughes!sister dealing with the success of her brothers, online hate, and her feelings of having to be strong all the time.

note: little bit of luca fantilli x reader

word count: 1.9k

and i am built like a mother and a total machine

i feel for your every little issue, i know just what you mean

and i make light of the darkness

i've got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

yeah, you know me

y/n hughes is the kindest girl you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting. as the youngest and only daughter of one of the most iconic hockey families, yn grew up in a turbulent world where she had learned to thrive. she plays the family sport, had to navigate through the hardships of being associated with her brothers, and she would be the first to tell you that her experiences had made her a better person. 

“okay trevor listen,” yn hughes or, as referred to by trevor, tiny tot, leaned in closer to the aforementioned boy. “it's quite simple… ghosting the girl will only make her trust you less. i know the podcasts have said that getting close to a girl then ghosting her will make them fall for you but seriously, that's such a bad idea” 

trevor nodded along to each word, pulling out his phone so he could draft a text to “the girl” in question. “okay so like… what should i say then?”

“hmm” yn loomed over the side of trevor's phone as she watched his fingers drift over the keys. once he had finished, he tilted his screen over to her so she could either approve or deny his message. 

there was a brief pause, “i can't tell if you're joking or not,” yn responds, causing jack to giggle as he paused to read the message over both yn and trevors shoulder. 

“I always wondered why you were better at meeting chicks at bars…��� jack chuckles, “they never had to read one of your messages”

“its not that bad!” trevor whines loudly as he attempts to grab his phone back from you. 

you hold the phone away from him, swiftly raising your free hand to stop him from moving any closer towards the phone. “don't worry i can fix this,” you speak smoothly to which jack bursts into another round of giggles. 

“bro you cannot tell a girl that you-”

trevor clamped his hand over jacks mouth, effectively stopping him from reciting the awful text to the room full of their friends. “shush, the master is working” 

you rewriting trevors text was just one of the many things you did for the people you considered family. you would sit with luke for hours, letting him rant to you about his move to NJD back when he was still at michigan with you. you would have weekly recaps with your best friends and teammates about their lives, always making sure to help any of them out if needed. 

forgive and i forget

i know my age, and i act like it

got what you can’t resist

i’m a perfect all-american

despite the positives, you got an overwhelming amount of hate for just… existing. you could be the most perfect person, and people who didn't know you would still come after you online. 

you would never admit to anyone that the hate and harassment bothered you but… it always stung. in the beginning, when you first “came into the public's eye” when you started playing on the umichs womens hockey team you couldn’t avoid the hatred. people from school had started using you for your connections to all the boys you knew, and before you had the time to go private on socials (you’re now public again), you would spend hours reading through hate and manually deleting all the messages. 

ynhughes86 posted 1 year ago

liked by luca.fantilli, lhughes_06, edwards.73, and others

ynhughes86 welcome to the den🐺️🗣

tagged: umichwhockey, teammates,, and more

view all comments

teammate1 GO BLUE🗣🗣

lhughes_06 #goblue

jackhughes andddd everybody screamed!!

jackhughes number lookin fresh

liked by ynhughes86

_quinnhughes 〽️

trevorzegras tiny tot making moves🫡

ynhughes86 youve gotta let that go..

user03 the power of being a hughes💀💀

removed

user82 did daddy and mommy pay ur way in?

removed

user21 not surprised that shes playing for umich… lets be real no other team would take her. shes a hockey nepo baby fr

removed

user44 ??? have u even looked at her stats and plays? shes definitely good lol

user09 shes nowhere near her brothers levels lets be real

removed

user77 looks like she cares more about partying than she does about hockey... surprising.. not!😒🙄

removed

i am light as a feather, i’m fresh as the air

coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair

i got class and integrity

just like a goddamn Kennedy, i swear

with love to spare

after a few months of going through hate comment deep dives, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let them bother you anymore. In celebration, you made your instagram public again and paid absolutely no attention to any of the hateful people in your comments and dms. 

yhughes86 just posted !

liked by jackhughes, umichwhockey, dylanduke25, and others

ynhughes86 just your average roadie🫡

tagged: teammate5, teammate2, and others

view all comments

ynhughes86 special shoutout to trevorzegras for losing our bet! without u i wouldn’t have been able to do what i do🙏 aka spend money at the mall

liked by trevorzegras

teammate5 we should never be let loose in the mall ever again

ynhughes86 we should never be allowed off the bus

lhughes_06 dub after dub

ynhughes86 oh u know it💯

luca.fantilli is this why you were teaching me about girl math? u were trying to justify your purchases?

ynhughes86 … no comment

user32 using trevors money… wow. so she's a gold digger too?

user91 u guys are so lame let a girl live

ynhughes86 just posted !

liked by teammate, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, and others

ynhughes86 all the love at the banquet tonight

view all comments

teammate1 love uuu my forever girl

ynhughes86 love u more!! u looked so good tonight

luca.fantilli girl in the last pic is kinda cute idk

ynhughes86 kind of? 

luca.fantilli girl in the last pic is very cute im 100% sure of it

ynhughes86 the cute girl in the last pic thinks youre 100% cute too

lhughes_06 the guy in none of the pics thinks you guys are disgusting

user44 no style no game

user81 grow up loser

i’m a perfect all-american bitch

with perfect all-american lips

and perfect all-american hips

i know my place and this is it

ynhughes86 just posted !

liked by luca.fantilli, colecaufield, _quinnhughes, and others

ynhughes86 perfect all-american or whatever olivia rodrigo said

tagged: luca.fantilli

view all comments

trevorzegras that's right no swearing for you tiny tot

ynhughes86 😐

user57 “or whatever olivia rodrigo said” yeah she hates women

user91 thats why she's so close to the guys but u didnt hear that from me!

user16 if u guys dont leave this girl alone…

teammate2 OHH BFF LOOKS SO HOT

teammate3 please marry me

luca.fantilli 🤤🤤

liked by ynhughes86

lhughes_06 nope. 

i don't get angry when i’m pissed

i'm the eternal optimist

i scream inside to deal with it

whenever something bothers you, you keep it in. you hold all of your troubles and worries so deep within you that eventually, they float away and come back to haunt you when you least expect it. you thought that if you ignored all of your problems, that they would somehow fix themselves without any intervention from anyone else. 

it wasn’t always helpful. 

all the time

i’m grateful all the time

i’m sexy and i’m kind

i’m pretty when i cry

“they only ask me about my brothers, lu” your sniffles were quieted by the fabric of lucas sweater as you pressed yourself against his chest. you had played possibly the best game of your career, and the post interview questions were all about your brothers and family. questions wondering about their training and practices and how that had impacted you, how their game influenced yours. it made you feel like you were irrelevant in your own career. 

“i am so grateful for my family and how they’ve helped me grow as a player,” you responded politely to the interviewers' inquiries. it's not like you weren’t grateful. you knew that your family had a huge impact on your skills and you were glad that they were there to help you. but nobody ever wondered what your individual experiences were. all your training had to be a direct reflection of your brothers. your playing style, even unrelated, had to do with your brothers. your wins were a direct result of their greatness. nothing you would ever do or succeed in would be solely yours. 

“i love them,” you sob, “i really do! i just want people to see me” 

lucas' arms tightened around you as he started brushing your hair away from your face. “i know, baby” he whispered into your ear, holding you close as he waited for your breathing to calm down. 

“i just wanna be me!” you slumped against lucas front, who carefully pulled you over to your bed so you could sit down on top of him. 

you could hear the loud pop music blaring from the speakers downstairs, and you listened in silence to the people trudging up and down the stairs as they no doubt looked for a bathroom. 

“have you talked to your brothers about this?” lucas' soft voice cuts into the silence. 

you pull away from him slightly so you could look at him in the eyes. “no…” you admitted quietly. “they wouldn’t understand,” you leaned your head against lucas shoulder as you cuddled into him. 

he hummed quietly to you, a hand running down your back to help further soothe you. “i think you might feel better if you open up to them,” luca hedged. both of you knew that your previous statement was a lie. 

“i don't want them to think of me like that…” 

“like what?” luca questioned, his hand never leaving your back as you continued to prop yourself against him. 

you sighed. “i just… they always come to me. i don't want that to stop or for them to think that im weak” your words were quiet as you finally admitted your true feelings to your boyfriend. 

“they could never think you're weak,” luca murmurs reassuringly. “luke talks all the time about how he thinks you're adjusting to life here better than he did,” you look up at luca inquisitively. “and quinn, he is so proud of you! he talks so highly of you all the time… and jack, i mean come on. they all love and support you so much. they won’t stop asking for advice or talking to you because you're having some troubles” luca explains. “also, there’s nothing wrong with being weak. you should let yourself be open with your brothers just like they are with you. you deserve that”

“have i ever told you that i love you?” you tearfully smile at the boy who was always so good at listening to you.

luca smiles back, “not enough” he jokes as he presses a soft kiss to your cheek. 

you brush a few strands of hair out of his face. “i'll call them tomorrow,” you add, reciprocating luca's kiss on the cheek. 

luca smiles, happy that you're no longer worked up and that you’ll finally tell your brothers your struggles. 

you spend the rest of the night hidden away from the raging party downstairs, wrapped up in your boyfriend's arms as you think about everything you try to hide. you didn’t have to be just one thing. you were allowed to be kind and to have complex emotions. you could be upset and angry without being a mean girl. perfect never existed, and you were glad that you were finally open to letting others see the cracks in your walls. 

lucas’ hair was soft as you ran your hands through his locks. “i love you,” luca mumbles. 

“i love you” you whisper to your boyfriend, placing a kiss on his shoulder as he shifts to lay his head on the middle of your chest. 

you easily fall asleep comforted by the fact that you were allowed to be flawed, and that no matter what, you’ll always have your people by your side.

[cynical-ghost]

EMO GIRL

Paring: Lando Norris x private!girlfriend!reader

Genre: smau-social media, fluff.

Warning(s): use of Yn, some hate comments but not many, and that’s about it

Synopsis: Lando and Yn have been together since high school days but no one has ever seen you, except for your families and the other drivers in the grid. It’s finally time for the internet to meet Lando’s Emo Girl.

A/n: this is a tad bit self indulgent as i dress like this, side fringe and all 😭 But i also wanted to make a Lando fic to make up for making him evil in the last one.

Fc: I found the pics on Pinterest🫶

F1_wags

Liked by L04NNO1, landonorizzz, yourbff and 126,093 others

F1_wags Lando seems happier talking about his high school sweetheart than about his second win of the season! Hopefully we get to meet the woman responsible of his happiness soon!💕

Landonorizzz I am still in denial that this man managed to bag someone with his frighteningly bad moves😭😭

L04NN01 gotta change your user soon 😂

Landonorizzz it doesn’t matter if he had a girlfriend or not this man still has no rizz and never will😆

Yourbff Hmmm I wonder who she is????🧐🤔🤔🤫@/Ynforeal do you have any clues?

Ynforeal No…now shush🤐

User15 sooo anyone else find these comments suspicious?

User21 get back to bed granny

LandoNorris

Liked by Ynforeal, yourbff, maxverstappen1 and 986,548 others

Landonorris @/Ynforeal is not going to be happy this is the first picture I’m posting of her, but oh well. Love you 💕

User15 WHAT DID I TELL YOU!!!

Landonorizzz You guys are so cute together, it was so nice meeting you guys, I think I’m more of a Yn fan than a Lando fan 😂❤️

Ynforeal you’re so sweet! It was so cool to meet you!!! (Luv ur user<3)

Landonorizzz OMFGPMFGOMFGKSBDB

Ynforeal WTF Lando😭 crying real tears…

Landonorris 1. I’m sorry 😂 and 2. I’m sitting right next to you, you are smiling like crazy…

Ynforeal oh yeh.

Landonorris Ow, now my arm hurts😭

Ynforeal payback car boy🏎️

Yourbff FINALLY!!! Now I can openly ship you guys till my hearts content

User21 She look so cool omfg, I wanna be her friend!🤩

Ynforeal

Liked by Landonorris, yourbff, yoursister and 762,984 others

Ynforeal Why? Just…why?

Landonorris👉👌?

Ynforeal🤨

Landonorris is that a no to 🍆🍑

Ynforeal 🫡🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧍‍♂️

Landonorris😁

Landonorizzz wtf is going on in here??

User22 I’m scared, mum come get me!!

User21 kids let’s go

Ynismymother SHE IS GORGEOUS!!!

Oscarpiastri why do I ever check the comments on your account.

Ynforeal look away child…

Yourbff YASSS QUEEN SHIT!!!

Yourbff YOU LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD I COULD KISS YOU

Landonorris please refrain from smooching my girlfriend.

Yourbff sleep with one eye open mofo.

Landonorris👁️

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Hiiiiii me again so prepare for a novel length ask 😵‍💫 sometimes I just can’t shush.

I agree with you soooooo much about the finale and Agatha/Rio. It was so interesting to watch it unfold - like the almost kiss in the forest? My impression of that was Agatha had received special treatment from Rio because of their relationship (which we got confirmation of this) and that she had a moment she thought that happened again - that somehow Rio had given Nicholas back as Billy. And Rio knew that, too, which is why she stopped Agatha from kissing her - Agatha was having soft, grateful feelings to Rio, thinking she had her son back - and Rio couldn’t let her believe that. Or didn’t want her to.

But I agree, they aren’t getting back together - Agatha made that hella clear. Even if she still has feelings for Rio, she can’t get past the loss of her son. Rio took Nicholas, and while it was her job to, there are some things that just can’t be repaired.

I also admittedly laughed really hard when Agatha came back as a ghost. Not only did she keep Rio from getting Billy, she siphoned Death’s power in a farewell kiss, and did…whatever she did, to become a ghost and keep Rio from taking her spirit. Total power move.

Plus..Rio does not like ghosts at all. I wish I could stick it to my ex in that next level petty of a fashion.

Ghost!Agatha x Reader has wriggled its way into my subconscious, so there’s that, too. Ahem.

Was Eras completely magical? Did you go with your wonderful girlfriend? Details on your outfit, please? 💜

Also also, sending you a huge hug on the post about your mother. I am so sorry you have to live that way. I live in a red state and while my family is VERY BLUE, my heart breaks for anyone who doesn’t feel they can be safe and supported with their family.

I hope you’re having a lovely night. 💜

- 🌸

Hi my friend <3 (my response is sooo long so I’m gonna cut it hahaha)

Oh wow I really like your interpretation on that moment between Agatha and Rio in episode 4. I almost took it as a warning, I guess, or to maybe set Agatha's expectations. Because yes absolutely Agatha has received special treatment, like Rio said more than any mortal before her ever did, and I think she's aware to some extent the power she holds over Rio. What's interesting to me when looking at their relationship, is the majority of the manipulation comes from Agatha. It's funny that the personification of Death doesn't hold the upper hand, but I do think it's very fitting with Agatha's character. Anyways, I kind of saw it as Rio warning Agatha, 'that boy is not yours and he shouldn't be here'. And I think her reasoning on that definitely was because she still had feelings for Agatha, ya know? Taking Nick destroyed them, and maybe in her mind she thought 'well I'm warning Agatha, so it won't be an issue. He's another woman's son anyways'.

Gosh that was way too long, hahaha. But yes I completely agree! I am super intrigued to watch them interact in the future...especially with Tommy now being back. I fear Rio is not gonna be too thrilled with Agatha doing all of this for another woman's kids LOLL can't say I blame her. And the Agatha ghost bit SENT ME. Taking ghosting to a new level of petty, in true Agatha Harkness fashion <3

I'm really playing around with a ghost!Agatha fic!! I'm sooo behind on writing but the idea I have is kind of depressing, lol but I'm gonna try and think of a more upbeat version.

Oh my gosh the Eras Tour was actually one of the best nights of my entire life, no exaggeration. I love Taylor Swift, she's on a good portion of my writing playlists. I actually started crying when it started, which is embarrassing af but I don't care!! And yes! I went with my girlfriend (who acquired the tickets, she's a rockstar and we love her), and one of my friends & her girlfriend! I love the song Maroon (which she played a night later rip haha), so I found these sparkly burgundy pants and a maroon themed shirt and paired with Nikes that had a burgundy swish on them.

Also thank you for saying that <3 It's really hard being in a mainly conservative family. I'm genuinely so happy that your family is voting Blue, at this point it just feels like a difference between having morals and not. I'm also tired of these past few elections feeling so stressed, idk, things have just taken such a drastically dark turn and I hate that we ended up here. My response is SOOO long and I apologize but I hope you're well, thank you so much for the ask <3 (I'll post a pic of the concert separately because this is already so long asdhasfhjas)

[adventuringblind]

New to your account, but love your neorodivergent/autistic reader with Oscar!! Just wondering, are you one, or do you know someone who is? I'm just curious cause you are nailing it down even to the small stuff, and I love it. If your uncomfortable sharing, I'd understand. I'm not autistic but I am part of the neurodivergent side, so thank you for the representation cause not many write about autistic or neurodivergents as a whole.

Also, sorry for this long ass message, and the floor is the best!! I really wanna know which motor home and track feels good enough to sleep in after one of the posts you did 😅

Yes! At least… most likely. I’ve been trying to get diagnosed with something even if it’s not autism. My doctor and therapist both thing that I am and I’ve been referred to a psychologist in hopes of getting a diagnosis.

I am a teacher (when I’m not writing). I’ve had to study a lot of the criteria for anything covered under the IDEA act because it’s important as an educator and for me personally to be able get a student the help they need as soon as possible.

I’ve been able to help both students and adults get answers they needed and get students the tools to help them be successful. I also just like learning about the brain in general. Anyone who knows me personally knows not to bring up the brain unless they want me to talk about for hours.

I actually didn’t think anything about it at first. Nobody had ever said anything to me and I had accepted the fact that I was a weird kid. Like… really weird.

Too old for my age. I hated the feeling of makeup (still do) and nobody understood why. Conversations were always difficult because I didn’t get majority of the jokes or I was ‘to deep’ or obnoxiously blunt. I’m a picky eater and have always been obsessed with specific things. My sensory issues are ridiculous and I was always shushing people who talked loud next to me. People purchased me clothes that I never wear because I hate the feeling. I was either disrespectful or extremely polite. I never changed even though my friends liked different things then I did. The list goes one…

Recently I encouraged my boyfriend if four years to get tested for ADHD. No shocker to anyone that he is and is now diagnosed. He also has practice with early intervention because he worked in early childhood. His own diagnosis, research, and speculations made him bring up the idea to me.

I pushed it off because I’m overly empathetic not apathetic. Basically I didn’t feel that I met the diagnosis criteria that I’d been studying in my college courses.

Actual research about how autism is more then the diagnostic criteria led me to believe maybe I’m neurodivergent in some way.

My boyfriend love to tell me ‘I told you so.’

I also know that self-diagnosis in the autistic community is welcomes usually. The only reason I say that I am is because of that and my doctor and therapist agree. I just don’t have a formal diagnosis yet.

It has explained a lot and it makes me look back on my childhood with more sympathy for myself.

Sorry for this long winded answer. The answer is yes which is why I write for neurodivergent readers.

If you want to see something specific or maybe a different type neurodivergent reader please let me know! :)

Definitely the Redbull ring and the Mercedes garage floor because it looks cold and shiny

[iviarellereads]

Network Effect, Chapter 17

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which this is all a little too much, isn't it?

Designation: SecUnit 003 Barish-Estranza Explorer Task Group-Colony Reclamation Project 520972 Status:Retrieval in progress. Baseship Explorer is destroyed. Piloting shuttle to unidentified transport.

3, bless its heart, taps Perihelion requesting contact. Art asks who the fuck it is. 3 is deeply unaccustomed to AIs that think for themselves, and is afraid that non-standard contact will put its clients at risk, and it promised 2 that it would deliver them intact. It tells Art it has five of its own clients, and three of Art's, and that Murderbot 2.0 sent it. Art seizes control of the shuttle. 3 can accept that.

Ratthi and Amena meet the shuttle in the bay. 3 recognizes them from the HelpMe file, and is relieved, right up until Ratthi says Art told them 3 disabled its governor module, at which point its soul slightly leaves its body as it is WAY out of its depth.(1) At its lack of response, Art tells it in a private channel that if 3 thinks about hurting them, it will dismantle 3 to component parts before it erases its consciousness.

3 tells them that the humans need medical attention, and quarantine is recommended for the implant influence. Amena is excited and asks Art if this is its crew. Art says, only three, but it's relieved to recognize them as they come off the shuttle.

Arada arrives during the unloading. One of Art's people, Karime, says not to scan them, because they think that's how the infection spreads. Arada wonders what kind of scans that could apply to.

Amena tells Arada that 3 helped the crew escape, and now they (the Preservation crew) have to help 3. 3 is surprised that anyone would want to help a SecUnit, but Ratthi promises, they'll hide it and tell B-E it died if it wants.

3 is lost and confused and very overwhelmed with emotions it was never equipped to process.(2)

Things are moving very fast. And I have been confused, and have delayed delivering the important message. Reply: “I’m sorry, I will comply as soon as possible, but I have an important communication for someone onboard called ART.” The humans stop talking. Transport, public channel: Tell me. Reply: “The message is from Murderbot 2.0 and begins: ART, I’m going to download to the surface. Me version 1.0 is there with Overse and Thiago. They’ve found Iris, Matteo, Seth, Tarik, and Kaede—�� I have to stop because the other humans become loud, then shush each other. I finish, “but 1.0 has been captured by hostiles, repeat, 1.0 is captured by hostiles.”

The humans and Art all get a little worked up over this, and nothing follows any protocol 3 can recognize or follow. While Ratthi tries to get Art to admit what the scanning-infection entails, Amena asks 3 if it has a name, or something they can call it. Feeling compelled to answer, 3 says to call it "Three." Then it remembers its governor module is defunct now, and it doesn't have to do anything.

When Art approaches the dock, communication with its remaining people is restored, and everyone's caught up on the status. Art orders all its humans to get on the maintenance capsule, but Iris wants to help her friend's friend. Art says it has it under control, but Overse says she and Thiago are in good shape, they can stay and help. Iris insists she and Matteo will help as well.

Art tells them they cannot remain on the surface, because it's armed its pathfinder drones and is holding the colony hostage until MB is returned. Everyone explodes except Ratthi, who noticed the drones in the cargo module.

3 gets overwhelmed at the speed and fervor of the conversation. But, 2 asked it what it wanted, and now it wants to help with the retrieval.(3) It tells Art it knows what to do, and can help. Art asks why. 3 says 2 showed it the HelpMe file, and… it asked what it wanted, and it wants to help. Art pauses, then says "Good."(4)

The humans are still talking, but business needs doing now.

Perihelion: Please calm yourselves and stop talking. Plan A01: Rain Destruction has been superseded by Plan B01: Distract and Extract.(5)

=====

(1) I wonder how 2, or indeed how Murderbot Classic, would feel watching it now. (2) Because that doesn't remind us of anyone. It's even less prepared than our MB, since it didn't figure out how to hack its governor module on its own, it didn't plan this. (3) 3 is a proof of concept. 3 is everything this series has been about. Because 3 had no reason to defy its programming, no inciting incident like MB had. But, when given a chance, it wants to help, it wants to be a good person, and use what it knows to help save life. I'm lightly emotionally compromised from fatigue right now but ahhhh my heart. (4) And then, Art's response! "Good." It wouldn't have tolerated any danger to anyone it cares about, but it would have accepted a SecUnit, a 3, who remained somewhat passive and less complex than its MB. But I can't help but feel that its gratitude for competent help, and its pride in what 2 managed to accomplish, and a bunch of other things are all adding up here. (5) Time to go watch a harrowing chapter or three and then PUNCH THE AIR because this is a RESCUE BAYBEE!

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

let me indulge in some college bestie hyunjin hc bc i’m not over The Look:

- you always save him a seat at the 8am lecture bc you know he’s always late. you don’t even comment on it anymore.

- sometimes still hungover from the night before, he just rests his head on your shoulder and "rests his eyes" as he says, and your heart swells.

- one day, bc you keep pestering him about being late, he arrives on time and it happens to be a day where you’re like 5 minutes late and he gets real antsy. looks around the huge room full of faces, his knee keeps jumping, taps his pen on the desk, decides to spam you with texts "where are you" "good god the ONE time i decide to get there early-" "i’m leaving" "i swear if i don’t see you in the next 30 sec- oh wait i see you"

- won’t admit it but was actually really worried that smth might’ve happened to you

- in exchange would save you a seat at the library. suuuuch a tease tho. you’d get there and whisper an apparently too enthusiastic "hello!" and he’d go like "SSSHHH" dramatically pointing at the silence sign, earning an eyeroll from you

- "omg are you serio-" "SSSHHH" "stop tha-" "SSSHHH" "you do know you’re being more noisy than me, ri-" "SSSHHH" paired with his index right on your lips

- you’d mumble behind his finger "hwang hyunjin, you’re the worst" and he’d just give you an endeared laugh, tickling you under your chin as you would do a cat

- you guys hyping each other up in the areas you’re lacking in

- on the day of a particularly nerve-wracking presentation hyunjin has to do you’d go front row and whisper to him "just like we rehearsed ok? :)" (he really is nervous, eyes unfocused, and he looks like a lost child, cute) you give him a thumbs up and mimic taking a breath in and out, which he does. he gives you a little smile and starts his presentation, adjusting his glasses. you softly shush anyone who tries talking.

- hyunjin is much less subtle but just as supportive. would literally spin around in his chair when people won’t stop talking "shut the fuck up, were you raised in the jungle"

- would actively participate in the post-presentation debate like "as __ so brilliantly pointed out-" you’d hide your face like "omg hyunjin….." but you’re actually so grateful for him

- sharing ear buds and snacks sitting next to each other on the floor of the corridor inbetween classes. once again, falling asleep on each other, at times.

- people knowing that you’re basically attached at the hip so your classmates always asks about the other when one is not there.

- people obviously being all over hyunjin, he’s quite the popular guy, but so confused about what you guys are so they ask him. you never hear the conversations but you know you’ve never seen him come home with one of them.

- him putting you in a headlock while you’re walking to your next class to mess with your hair. sometimes you wonder if he does that just so he can have an excuse to keep his arm slung over your shoulders afterwards. he really never pulls away, doesn’t he?

- late night talks about your dreams and ambitions, lying on the carpeted floor of your shitty studio apartment.

- "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" "in 5 years?"

- your faces are so close, your noses almost touching and it’s silent, you can just hear your synchronized breathing. it’s so comfortable, so cozy, so right. he’s your best friend.

- a whisper: "__, where do you see yourself in 10 seconds?"

Oh my god, anon. These are so sweet and so fucking cute 🥺😭

Bye I love the being attached at the hip dynamic so much. I can visualise him being the type to "glance" over your notes just to make sure he's got everything (he's basically just copying you). Supportive, hype man Hyunjin </3 Always looking out for you and making sure you're not running yourself into the ground because of coursework.

You're so sick for the last half. Lmao, not him yelling at people to shut up so you can explain why you think The Tempest sucks and is Shakespeare's worst, popular play. The lecturer looking on in a mixture of confusion, amusement and annoyance </3. The last bit UGH.

[duckdoeswords]

Change of Pace Ch.6 - Well, If You Insist

Summary: When a scandal breaks out after her father is arrested for Electoral fraud and Tax evasion she takes this opportunity to disappear leaving Atlas for a small town in the south where her Grandfather had a small farm that had fallen into disrepair. She arrives hoping to find a better life for herself and her daughter.

Words: 29,365

Main Relationship: Weiss Schnee/Ruby Rose

Rating: M

Notes: I'm currently working on posting links to fics I forgot about to tumblr. I'm also trying a new format for posting said links. If you want to set the mood for the fic please check out the playlist for it and you can check out my ko-fi if you want.

Fic:

    “Nooo!” Ivory cried, digging her fingers into the fabric of the car seat, kicking her legs against the diver’s chair. “I don’t wanna!” Weiss took a step back, taking a calming breath as she straightened her shirt. Ivory was normally incredibly behaved and patient but she was still a child. A child who had never spent any real time away from Weiss, so it was no wonder the idea of daycare scared her so much. 

    Crouching in front of the open door, Weiss placed a hand on Ivory’s knee. “Listen peanut, I know trying new things is scary but I need you to be strong for me.” 

    “I don’t wanna.” 

    Weiss stood up, perching herself on the edge of the seat. “I know but I have chores to do and don’t you think you’ll have more fun playing with other kids?” 

    Ivory pressed her ears against the top of her head, avoiding eye contact as she pressed her hands together. “I promise I’ll be good.” She looked up through her eyelashes. “Take me with you please ?”

    “You’re not in trouble.” Weiss was quick to reassure Ivory, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I just don’t want you to be bored while I’m busy being a boring adult.” 

    “I won’t be!’ Ivory proclaimed, puffing her chest out. Ivory was very good at keeping herself entertained but that was more a fault on Weiss’ part than anyone else’s. She should have done more to prevent this kind of co-dependence in her daughter. 

    “I know you won’t.” Weiss smiled softly as she unbuckled Ivory. “But sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do—”

    “But—” Weiss gently shushed her daughter with a smile. 

    “And sometimes we have to do things that scare us.”

    “Why?” Ivory muttered, having shimmed out of her straps. 

    “Because sometimes things that scare us end up being good for us.” 

Ivory looked wholly unconvinced. “Really?” 

“Yes.” Weiss racked her brain for an example. One that she could easily explain to a four-year-old and then it hit her. “I was really scared about moving here, ya know.” 

“You were?” 

“Yup.” Weiss nodded. “It was really scary moving to somewhere I’ve never been. I’d never lived anywhere else but Atlas.” Weiss paused, gauging Ivory’s reaction. “So I was scared about it but it turned out to be what was best.” Leaning forwards pressing her forehead against Ivory’s. “For both of us.” Ivory giggled, wrapping her arms around Weiss’s neck allowing her to wrap her own arms around her back and pull her out of the car. The realization didn’t seem to dawn on Ivory until Weiss had already closed the door, trapping Ivory outside. 

Gasping, clasping her hands over her mouth. “You tricked me!?” The absolute betrayal in her voice and on her face was comical. 

“I did.” Weiss crouched in front of Ivory, adjusting her shirt. “But since we’ve gotten out of the car that means we have to go inside now.”     “Nuh-uh!” Ivory shook her head, stomping her foot and crossing her arms over her chest. 

Weiss chuckled at the outburst, leaning forward hand placed on her knees. “Yuh-uh! It’s the rules.” 

    “What rules?” 

    “The...” Weiss wrapped her arms around Ivory, pulling her closer to her chest. “Mommy rulebook.” 

    “That’s not real.” Ivory giggled, pushing her arms against Weiss’s chest. 

    “Yes, it is! Every mommy gets one in the mail when they have kids and it says that if you get out of the car you have to come inside with me.” Ivory seemed to consider the information present, letting out a quiet hum. “It’s in the rules .” Weiss tilted her head to the side slightly. “We gotta follow the rules.” 

    “I guess...” Ivory drawled, still seemingly unconvinced but not having a way to articulate why. Weiss pushed herself up holding out her hand which Ivory quietly took, leading her up toward the front of the daycare. The sign on the front of the building read, ‘Stay ‘n Play Daycare’ With several posters plastered on the glass windows for events being held in town, when preschool sign-ups began, as well as the hours of operation.

    A bell rang overhead as she pushed the door open, stepping inside noticing the counter to the right and a play area to the left where several older kids were quietly sitting on bean bag chairs, reading books or comics. “Hello! How can I help you?” 

    Weiss turned to see a woman who had appeared behind the counter, looking curiously at the pair. She had messy honey-colored hair pulled into a low ponytail and green eyes framed behind square glasses. Walking up to the counter, Weiss placed her hand on the counter clearing her throat. “I’d like to sign my daughter up for daycare.” 

[ritualoftheancients]

Ritual of the Ancients - Chapter 2: A Cop, of sorts

by Roan Rosser

This is a chapter of a complete vampire novel with a trans-masc main character and a gay romance subplot. New Chapters are posted every Sunday. If you like the novel and want to support the author, ebook and paperback copies can be purchased here.

*****

On the elevator, Jack prattled on about proper sun-proofing procedures and I only half listened to him as I ran through possible excuses to get away from him. Only when we stepped out into the hall on the sixth floor did I remember the second part of my problem: no keys.

I eyed Jack. Nice muscle definition was visible on his arms and chest, even through the cloth of his shirt. Plus, he was a shapeshifter, and in the movies they were always super strong. He could probably just break down the door if worse came to worse. However, plan A was that knocking on the door would wake Lindsay. She might have had her phone turned off, but she was a light sleeper. She’d be pissed at being woken up, but I wouldn’t have to pay out of my security deposit for a damaged door.

Jack, walking ahead of me, stopped abruptly, and I almost walked into his back. “Everett, you have a roommate?” Jack asked over his shoulder in a near whisper.

“Yeah, of course I do.” I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at Jack yet again. As if a museum intern could afford an apartment on their own. I actually could have afforded it because of my little side business, but that money was for something far more important.

“Does she usually leave the door open?”

“What? No.” I pushed past Jack, unable to see past the taller man. My front door was open about a quarter of an inch. A sliver of darkness was all that was visible past the door jam.

“Get behind me,” Jack hissed, and pushed me back with one hand. With his other he reached into his jacket and drew a gun.

I was so shocked that I didn’t protest as Jack pushed me backwards. I hadn’t realized he was armed. I wondered why a werewolf—or jackal in this case—needed a gun. Jack pressed his back against the wall of the hallway next to the door and slid along it with the gun in a two-handed grip, pointed toward the ceiling. It looked like something out of a movie. Keeping his gun in the air, Jack crouched down and leaned toward the doorway. It seemed smart to me. It put his head down at crotch level, whereas anyone who was going to shoot through the door would probably shoot higher, at chest or head height.

Jack took one hand off his gun and used it to push the door the rest of the way open. From where I was standing in the hall, I couldn’t see much. Just more darkness, which itself was odd because we usually left the light in the kitchen over the sink on for midnight snack runs.

“Where’s Lindsay?” I whispered, hoping she was okay. She’d been an alright roommate, and a great friend when I’d really needed one.

“Shush,” Jack hissed over his shoulder. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, shouldn’t I go first? If I’m a vampire, I’m like indestructible, right? Like in the movies?”

“It’s not that simple. This isn’t a movie, and thinking that way will get you killed.” Jack’s eyes narrowed and he whipped his head back around toward my apartment, lifting his nose and scenting like a dog. Or a jackal. Wait, Jack the jackal. I snickered. What parents named a werejackal “Jack”?

“I said to be quiet. And stay here.” Eyes wide, Jack disappeared into the dark of my apartment. I wondered why the sudden hurry after he’d urged such caution. Shrugging, I moved up to stand next to my door where Jack had been a moment before. I could still feel the heat from his body on the wall and smell his shampoo. A breeze whispered from my apartment, covering Jack’s comforting scent with a smell that I couldn’t describe, but that immediately set me on edge.

The elevator behind me dinged, and the door began to open. I glanced behind me and almost choked as I caught sight of not other tenants getting off, but two uniformed officers. When they spotted me, they both drew their guns.

Without stopping to think about it, I took two steps forward into my dark apartment, slammed the door shut behind me, and turned the deadbolt. Running on autopilot, I flipped the light switch for the front hall.

“Damn it, Everett, I told you to wait outside,” Jack yelled from somewhere farther in the apartment. “Don’t come any further.”

“I didn’t have a choice. Two cops just got off the elevator with their guns drawn and they’re headed this way.”

There was a pounding thump at the front door. “Police, open up.”

“Shit. That other guy you bit must have called them.” Jack appeared from down the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Don’t open that. We don’t want them here in your condition, not to mention…” Jack trailed off as he got closer, and grabbed my arm to drag me away from the door and into the kitchen.

“But that happened outside, on the sidewalk. What are they doing up here?” I asked.

The pounding on the door was getting louder, more frantic.

“Questions later. We need to get out of here before they get in,” Jack said.

“Why? I thought you were a ‘cop of sorts’. Just go talk to them.” I reluctantly pulled my arm from Jack’s grasp.

Jack grimaced and glanced back the way he’d come from, down the hallway towards the bedrooms. “It’s complicated.”

Actually, it was odd that Lindsay wasn’t up, especially with the banging at the door. She was a really light sleeper, up and yelling at me for the slightest noise when I got home late from fruitlessly trolling the local gay bar for dates.

“Is Lindsay home? I need to—” I moved to leave the kitchen, and Jack blocked the exit by reaching across the small space and placing a hand on either counter.

“That’s part of the complication,” Jack said.

“Look, just let me by.” I feinted left, and then when Jack shifted, I ducked to the right under his arm. He hadn’t counted on just how short I was.

Jack tried to grab my jacket, but it was like he was moving in slow motion as I ran past him. Everything felt unreal, like a dream or a slo-mo sequence from a movie. Jack’s hand closed on empty air behind me as I bolted towards the bedrooms. Weird, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. The strange smell I’d detected outside got stronger as I moved farther down the hall.

I opened Lindsay’s bedroom door while knocking, but stopped cold at the sight that greeted me there.

Lindsay lay on her back on her bed, her eyes open and glazed. The bed was red with pooling blood that had run down from the wide slash that ran all the way across her neck.

I tried to scream, but Jack ran up behind me and clamped a hand over my mouth, muffling my cry.

“Shh,” Jack whispered into my ear. “It’s okay, but you can see why we can’t be here when those cops come in. We need to get out of here, now.”

“Shit, shit,” I said, pushing away Jack’s hand. Now that Jack had distracted me from the body, I noticed that Lindsay’s room had been trashed. All the clothes from her closet were scattered on the floor, and the dresser drawers were all askew and empty, the contents thrown about the room. When I thought about it, when I’d run through the living room, it had been a mess too. Oh, no. My stash. I had to check on it.

“We can go out the window,” Jack said.

I let Jack pull me away and shut the door to Lindsay’s room. The pounding on the door had gone silent, which was somehow more ominous than the banging.

“I need to check my room,” I hissed to Jack, darting past him to my door at the end of the hall. Jack chased after me, but again I was faster.

As I grabbed the doorknob, I heard the front door crashing open. “Police! Freeze!”

I couldn’t see the front door from the hall, but they’d seen me come inside so they knew someone was here.

“Go, go!” Jack hissed, pushing me into my bedroom ahead of him and carefully easing the door shut behind us. Jack turned and leaned against the door, pressing his ear against it.

I reached over to flip on the light, but Jack glanced at me and shook his head. I pulled my hand back. I could see well enough anyway. Dim light from the streetlights below came in through the windows where I had failed to fully close the blinds when I’d left for work. Was it only this morning? It seemed like it had been ages since I’d last been home. So much had happened since then.

My room was as trashed as Lindsay’s had been. My dresser drawers had been pulled out, and my closet had been emptied all over the floor and bed. Even my posters had been ripped off the wall. My eyes darted to the AC vent on the floor by my bed where I kept my stash of artifacts stolen from the museum. The vent cover was missing, and the plastic bags that I’d been using to store the items were tossed on the floor, empty. They’d been taped inside the vent, out of sight of anyone casually peering inside. Someone had either known where to look, or done a very thorough search.

I was in trouble. I owed those items to the boss, and she wasn’t going to be happy I had lost them. I physically grabbed my right arm with my left hand to stop myself from feeling for the amulet in my pocket to check that it was still there. If I was right, what I had there might make up for the missing items. If I was wrong, well, I was in a lot more trouble than I thought.

“What happened in here?” I whispered.

“I don’t know, but we need to leave before the men out there find us in here,” Jack hissed to me. “We can talk about the how and why later.”

“Fine,” I whispered back. I started stepping over the wreckage of my room. I spotted my testosterone prescription bottle in the mess and scooped it up without stopping, stuffing the little vial in my jacket pocket and zipping it closed.

Jack unlatched the window and pushed it open, letting in the cool night air. He grabbed the sides of the screen and twisted it out, letting it go to drop out into the night. It was a very long drop to the grass below. Jack grabbed my arm and shoved me at the window. I grabbed the window sill and tried not to look down, feeling a little faint. It had started raining since we’d come inside, and rain droplets pattered my face and hands.

“Jump,” Jack urged in a whisper, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the closed bedroom door.

“What? Are you crazy? I’ll break a leg or worse,” I whispered back.

“You’re a vampire. You’ll be fine. Now hurry!”

He seemed so sure of himself. Sighing, I put my hands on the ledge, preparing to climb out, but caught sight of the ground below and froze.

“Hurry!” Jack urged. “We don’t have time.”

“I can’t, it’s too high!” I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to back away, but Jack shoved me forward.

The door behind us banged open. “Freeze, police! Put your hands where we can see them and step away from the window.” Their voices were muffled. I think they were in Lindsay’s room across the hall. It’d only be moments before they found us.

I startled and would have backed away, except for Jack standing right behind me. My pulse raced.

“Shit. Sorry.”

I wanted to ask what he was sorry for when Jack’s hands moved down to my hips, grabbing my pants and lifting me up. “Out you go!” Jack hefted, flinging me up and out.

“No!” I shrieked, flailing for the window frame as the ground came into view. My fingernails scratched the paint on the window frame on my way out, but I didn’t manage to get a grip with Jack’s continued pushing at my butt and legs.

Next thing I knew I was falling, spinning through the air as wind rushed past me. I felt almost weightless as I spun in freefall, at least until I landed on my back on the grass behind the apartment building. The impact knocked the breath out of me and I felt my spine snap. It hurt, but not as much as I would have expected. I felt another pop and gritted my teeth against the wave of pain that wracked me.

I opened my eyes in time to see Jack jump straight out of the window like a superhero, sailing easily over my position. Without thinking I rolled over to watch him, enthralled by the sight. The vial in my pocket shattered as I rolled over it, and the oily residue soaked through the windbreaker. Shit.

Jack landed in a crouch that turned into a roll about ten feet away from the building. It looked as if he’d just jumped from a burning or exploding building in a movie scene, a comparison not at all harmed by his rugged good looks and muscled physique. He sprang to his feet as if he’d just done a somersault, not jumped from the sixth floor. “Follow me, I’m parked up this way.” He jerked his head to indicate the far end of the building. Without watching to see if I followed him, he jogged off toward the sidewalk.

“I can’t, I think I broke my back,” I called after him.

Jack slowed and turned, but didn’t stop, continuing to walk backwards. “You’re fine. You’re a vampire. You’re already healed.”

I sat up, and Jack was right. The pain was gone and nothing felt broken. Maybe... maybe Jack was telling the truth and I was a vampire now.

My head spun. I thought through my options and realized I had none. My work had been compromised, and so had my apartment. Jack was an unknown element. As long as Lindsay’s killer remained unaware of Jack, I might have a chance of staying safe. I also needed to keep Jack from finding out about the stolen amulet. Cursing, I climbed to my feet to run after him, wiping grass from the back of my damp jeans.

[notquitecharlie]

7/13/23 Again

Dear Friend,

I’m sorry I’m a liar. I don’t want to lie to you, I lie too much. It’s never “big” lies the kind that mean anything to anyone but me but I lie too much about who I am and how I feel to lie to you too. I’m going to try to share as much of myself that I don’t share with anyone else now. This post will be long, the ones that follow it may be too if you don’t want to read it friend you don’t have to but I think some part of me needs to write it. I hope that you don’t judge me because, I trust you friend even though we likely haven’t met yet. I’m going to attempt to be relatively chronological except in one part, the beginning. 

I’m not always happy friend. Sometimes I am so sad and lonely and anxious and scared that it physically hurts but I still smile and am polite and kind as I can and if anyone were to ask me I would always say that I’m happy. I lie most days about this and I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s like a part of me feels like if I lie and say that I’m happy I will be, that the more I smile the more I’ll mean it.

Ever since I was young I’ve been called ugly, especially by my mom. I feel horrid saying that but I’m trying to be honest so there. When I was small and did plays she would clip extensions into my hair, when I was about 11 or 12 going to a school presentation fair thing I put on a dress my grandma had given me and I felt gorgeous, sure I had acne and a bad hair day but still I asked her how I looked and the response was “like a homeless person what the hell are you thinking I’m doing your hair”. Every time I’ve done something like a choir performance or taken school pictures she’s smattered makeup onto my face to cover up the imperfections and asked me why I didn’t do it myself, I’ve always told her I forgot or sometime along those lines but I’ll be honest to you. I can’t stand makeup for the most part. Some days I can and I’ll do fun makeup for me but I lie and hide too much without covering my face.

Eating can be so fucking hard and I don’t know why. I’m very skinny, you can see my spine and my ribs and shoulder bones all of it and I hate it but sometimes eating physically hurts. It’s like I just feel bad, you know?

I’m gay and I wish my family would stop talking about gay people so horribly and using the word lesbian as an insult. I wish my nine year old sister wasn’t already brainwashed into that way of thinking too. I don’t want to talk about how cute guys are. I don’t.

I have horrible nightmares most nights. They just feel so real and every night I say sweet dreams to every person so. many. times. But no one ever says it back and i wonder if they did, would it make any difference?

I want to finish my sentences sometimes without being interrupted or shushed. I’m not stupid and I wish people would give my the tiniest bit of respect to listen to what im saying. Sometimes it matters.

I cry. I fidget. I over apologize to (normally to) people who don’t deserve it. I hate talking to people. I hate asking for stuff. I get overly worried about cleanliness. Sometimes loud noises physically pain me (not just in the ow my ears hurt way). Textures especially with food tend to disgust me (cheese, oil, olives, popsicle sticks, some bread, tortillas,eggs) I can normally force myself to eat it but other days I just can’t. Nothing feels safer than the number seven.

I’m sorry to share all of this and I’m also sorry I would love to do it again sometime.

Love always, 

Athena

[ellanessa]

I posted 78 times in 2022

That's 78 more posts than 2021!

40 posts created (51%)

38 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ellanessa

@becherdireinen

@funnytwittertweets

@munsonquinns

@eddiethefreakkmunson

I tagged 44 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#spotify - 6 posts

#lyrics - 5 posts

#writing - 5 posts

#shortstory - 5 posts

#ao3 - 3 posts

#draco x reader - 3 posts

#draco malfoy - 3 posts

#eddie munson - 3 posts

#skyrim - 2 posts

#draco x you - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 44 characters

#friday night and i’m acting like an old lady

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

does anyone know the average level you defeat alduin? cuz i defeated him at 43 but i cant tell if that is early or late

4 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

i am running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep and tayor swift's new album try me bitch

7 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#3

I am constantly torn between wanting Eddie for myself and wanting Eddie for Steve

9 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#2

do you know how happy my little queer autistic self would be if they

brought goddamn eddie munson back to life

made him being autistic canon

and made him canonically gay

13 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Draco x reader fanfic

Draco x reader, friends to lovers, 9+ chapters, not complete (but updated regularly)

Potion Partners - Detailed by AddictedToEnemiesToLovers on ao3 and the same name by ella_rose_lee on Wattpad

“I wonder why Dumbledore won’t let Snape become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor,” Ron asked as the trio and you made your way towards the Great Hall. 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? He doesn’t trust him.” Hermione answered, opening the large wooden doors to let us through. “Everyone knows Snape is associated with Voldemort.”

“Speaking of Snape…” Harry comments, studying you. “How is Potions class going with Mr. Better Than Everyone Else?” 

“Oh shush. Don’t call him that.” You tell him, giving him a glare as the four of you sit down to eat. “And it’s going fine. He’s a good partner and does his share of the work.”

It had been four days since you and Draco Malfoy had been assigned as year-long Potions partners. When you answered Harry, you weren’t lying. Sometimes he talked to you, but only when he needed to. You thought he was warming up to you though, he had talked to you more yesterday. You were about to tell the trio just that until you heard the telltale screeching signaling mail time. You start to fill your plate with food, not worrying about paying attention since you never get mail. You were about to take a bite of the best-mashed potatoes you had ever had when a letter was dropped right in front of you, almost knocking over your pumpkin juice. 

“You got a letter?!” Harry exclaimed, overly excited.

“No need to rub it in, Harry.” You tell him, giving him a dirty look. You examine the envelope, finding nothing but a stamp holding it shut. “It doesn’t say who sent it.”

“Maybe it says inside, open it up.” Hermione remarks. 

You follow her instructions, tearing it open. You pull out the letter inside, recognizing the all-too-familiar handwriting. You should recognize it, after all, you see the writing next to you every day in Potions class. 

 “What does it say, Y/N?”

I put the ring on a chain for you. Your fingers are too small for it without. Keep it. It looks better on you anyway. 

-D

You read it aloud to them as you place the chain around your neck. 

“Someone must fancy you, Y/N!” Hermione excitedly says. “Who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.” You lie as you glance up from the letter, towards the Slytherin table. Staring back at you is the blond-haired boy from Potions class.

27 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[gobblinggojo]

HAYYYY baeeee 👁️👁️ pls gimme dad itto hcs because even tho your last dad post was depressing itto made my heart go pow pow ♡

ugh dad itto 😩 he’d be the best dad istg. i did a little story for you instead of headcanons bae 😩

“My Sunshine”

dad! arataki itto x mom! reader

warnings: none!

children truly bring out the best, or worst in anyone. some people truly adore and love children, whereas some despise and hate them. what a person does to a child is the reflection on how they feel of children. as a child, arataki itto never understood how some could adore children; anytime itto was around a child his age, his appearance would always scare them, causing them to break down screaming and crying for their mother, or father. it always hurt.

when itto had reached adulthood, he swore he would never have a child. “they don’t like me. i scare them,” was always his reasoning anytime anyone would ask the male why he hadn’t had a child yet, like the rest of the adults his age had. while it was an honest answer to their question, it was also a lie.

deep down, itto had always wanted a child. someone he could raise, protect, and feel that fatherly love many speak of for the first time. itto truly craved the feeling of having a family; of having a couple of children, maybe even a wife he could protect and show his love to.

he knew his dreams would be achieved the day he had met you. it had been a stormy day in inazuma, itto had been deep in the forest, picking at various flowers, and patches of grass out of pure boredom. you had entered into the forest, cold and dripping wet with rain, a basket filled with various flowers in your hands.

red eyes bore into your e/c eyes, the oni watched you closely, an eyebrow raised as he tilted his head out of pure curiosity. you hadn’t seemed to notice the male at first, whom was sitting on the ground right in front of you, but the moment you did, you tilted your head right back.

the two of you stayed like that for what felt like forever, both just staring at one another in complete shock and wonder. the rest was history after that.

two years after yours and itto’s meeting, he had asked for your hand in marriage; a year later, the two of you had welcomed your first child into the world. your first baby was a beautiful baby girl; who looked just like itto. many often joked that itto must have been the one pregnant; not you because of your baby girls’ looks.

it had been a week after delivery; itto and you were resting in your small cottage outside of the outskirts of inazuma; you had been laying in bed; with your baby girl in your arms, while itto sat on the edge, gazing intently at his daughter.

“how did i help make her, y/n?” itto spoke after a few minutes of not saying anything at all. raising an eyebrow, you let out a quiet giggle. “do i have to give you the talk, itto..?” you teased your husband, smiling innocently to yourself as you did so.

eyes widening, itto shook his head, hair swishing around rather wildly with his movements. “no! no-, i meant..how did someone like me create something so innocent- it’s like-, i’m a dark rainy day, as somehow she’s like a little ray of sunshine, that’s beaming through the dark clouds, if that makes sense.”

in a sense, you could understand what itto meant. slowly, you sat up in bed, holding your daughter close and quietly shushing her as she began to fuss from the movement, you slid down to the edge of the bed, sitting down right beside of itto. you gazed up at the tall form of your husband for a few seconds before you began to speak.

“itto, hold your hands out for me.” itto did just that. once his hands were held out, you slowly handed the baby over to him. laying your head against his shoulder, you watched intently as itto almost instantly brought his daughter to his chest, holding her carefully with a worried look in his crimson eyes.

“is she crying, itto?”

“no-..”

“does she seem uncomfortable in your grasp, itto?”

“no..”

“has she woken up, itto?”

“no..”

“itto, do you remember how all through my pregnancy you were there? how you would always speak to my baby bump, how you would always hold me when she was kicking?” you asked softly. before itto could answer, you continued speaking. “do you remember the day she came into this world? she wouldn’t stop crying, not until you held her.” you reminded your husband; gazing down at the beautiful baby in his arms.

“you’re not a dark rainy day itto, you’re a sunny beautiful day. you bring sunshine wherever you go, ya know? you bring out the best in people. even though so many have wronged you, you still stood up for others; saved others, and kept many of the people of inazuma safe.” you spoke quietly. “you’ve made me so happy, ya know? you’re my sunshine, itto-..and you helped me create a little sunshine of our own, who will one day be just as amazing her papa.”

tears welled up in itto’s vision. he turned his head to gaze at you as he choked out a quiet sob. “…you’re my sunshine, y/n-“ he sniffled quietly.

[golbrocklovely]

never needed // colby brock

A/N: so fun fact about this fic is that i came up with it last year back in november. it was around the time me and my ex best friend stopped being friends. i was really in such a rough headspace, and i think the concept shows it. i just finished writing it today and wow... i still feel this way to some extent, but not fully (thank god). also i literally cried while writing it today so there’s that. hope yall enjoy this one. i'm trying to post a bunch of fics since this coming week is my bday (the 14th). no guarantees, but i'm trying my best to put out at least six things. let me know what you think of this one. see yall later :)

prompt: colby has been ghosting you for a while, just when things were starting to get good between you two. after a week of ignoring you, he’s finally ready to talk. || fem!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: angst, cursing, heartache, crying, honestly this one is really sad so sorry about that, happy ending tho

word count: 2331

~~~~~~~

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I groaned to myself, staring at my phone.

Colby was still ignoring me, something I had grown accustomed to this week. He had ghosted my calls and my texts. He turned his read notifications off too, so I had no clue whether or not he had even seen my messages at all.

Everything had been going great between us. We had met a couple years back and hit it off as friends right away. I always thought he was attractive, and our friendship was always really flirty; so much so that fans thought we were together. And then finally, something clicked a couple months back. I wasn't sure if it was the accidental drunken kiss we shared, or just a built up of feelings, but we finally decided that maybe we should test out an actual relationship.

We promised each other we would take it slow, both of us still heartbroken from our previous relationships and our general trust issues. But these past two months, we went into overdrive, actually taking the time to feel each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And for the first time, I felt happy. Genuinely happy.

A week ago, we had even gone on a cute little date, something we had started doing regularly. We were in the middle of our conversation; I remember I laughed hard at something he said. It was loud enough that some of the patrons in the restaurant stared at us. And when he tried to shush me jokingly, a silence had fallen over us.

His face dropped suddenly, he became super serious and quiet, and then he asked if we could go home.

He told me the next day that he thought he got food poisoning and it just hit him in the restaurant. I didn't think anything of it and was fine with going home early.

But now, I wonder if he was lying.

I looked back down at my phone, reading over my messages from the past week to him.

Was I taking this too far? He could have just been busy. I don't wanna come across as clingy.

"Ugh, fuck that." I muttered out loud to myself, rolling out of my bed to get a drink.

I didn't care if I came across as clingy. I had a right to know why he was ignoring me. If it was work related, he would have told me. He had done that in the past before.

This was different, I just knew it.

Tomorrow, I planned to go over and see him. I would have done it tonight, but I knew he wasn't home. He was out with some friends at Saddle Ranch. Like a fan, I had to watch his stories on Insta, since that was the only way I knew where he was.

"Don't expect too much from him." Sam said.

I shook my head at that memory. When we got together, everyone was happy for us. But I could feel a certain tension in the room, a certain caveat that wasn't being mentioned. Later that night, Sam and I were by ourselves, and he asked me if Colby and I had really made our relationship official. I told him we hadn't gone all the way, but that we were taking it one step at a time.

"I'm happy for you guys, really. I just wonder..." His voice trailed off.

I cocked my head. "Wonder what?"

"Look, I love you both, but I don't know if Colby is really ready for a relationship. There's a lot of things he still needs to work through." He stated.

"We're not that serious." I laughed.

"Yeah, yet. If you plan to be, I just don't want you to get your heart broken because he wasn't ready." Sam admitted.

I patted his shoulder lightly, smiling. "Relax, Samuel. Everything will be fine."

"Alright. Just... don't expect too much from him, okay?" He mentioned, his eyes narrowing on mine.

That had been two months ago and... I think I should have heeded his warning.

A loud knock at my front door brought me out of my thoughts, scaring me. I grabbed a knife from my kitchen, striding over to the door. I glance through the peephole to see who was there.

Colby's face stared back.

"Y/N, it's me. Can you open the door?" He called.

I scowled at him through the peephole. "Sorry she's not home right now. Maybe you should try responding to her texts.”

“Look I'm sorry, but that's why I came over. I wanted to talk in person.” He replied.

“Damn, that’s a shame. Too bad she’s not home!” I exclaimed angrily.

“C’mon now, don’t be childish.” He remarked.

I swung the door open, holding back from yelling into my hallway. “Childish?!”

He smirked at me. “I knew that would get you to open the door.”

“You’re not funny.” I deadpanned, glaring at him.

“Can you please let me in? I seriously want to talk.” Colby responded, his eyes landing on mine.

“No, Colby. It’s one o’clock in the morning, I don’t feel like talking, and you’re drunk.” I jeered, resting my hands on my hips.

He scrunched up his face dramatically. “No, I’m not. I only had like two drinks.”

“Oh my mistake. I figured a person that randomly comes over to talk at the ass-crack of night is usually drunk,” I quipped. “Don’t you have better things to do, like be at Saddle Ranch?”

He stepped back, raising an eyebrow. “How’d you know I was at Saddle Ranch?”

I could feel my cheeks heat up. “Because… I watched your stories.”

“Nice to know you pay attention to me,” he uttered under his breath. “Please let me in.”

“No. Fuck off, Colby.” I hissed.

He rolled his eyes at my comment. “If you don’t let me in, I’m just gonna make noise out here in the hallway until you do.”

“Bet.” I huffed.

“What was your favorite movie again… ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?” He questioned, stepping back further into the hallway.

I blinked. “Yeah, so what?”

He looked up at me, giving me a devilish smile. “…You’re just too good to be true.”

My face dropped at his voice. “Colby.”

“Can’t take my eyes off of you.” He sang, pointing at me.

“Are you really-” I started.

He cut me off, running his hands down his body. “You’d be like heaven to touch.”

I hushed. “Seriously stop-”

“I wanna hold you so much.” He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself.

I grunted, smacking my hand towards him. “Colby, it’s one in the morn-”

“At long last, love has arrived.” He opened his arms wide.

“Shut the fuck up!” I whisper-shouted.

“And I thank God I'm alive.” Colby praised up towards the ceiling.

I retorted. “You’re fucking embarrass-”

He spun in a circle slowly. “You're just too good to be true.”

“I knew giving you the code to my apartment was a bad idea.” I grumbled.

“Can't take my eyes off of you.” He winked, pointing at me again.

Colby took a big inhale, ready to start singing the music, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into my apartment.

I slammed my door shut, locking it quickly. “Next time you do something like that, I’m gonna kill you.”

“That’s not very- why do you have a knife?” He motioned toward the knife sitting on my side table.

“What-? Oh, I thought you were an intruder.” I explained.

He lightly smiled, his dimples appearing. “You think an intruder would knock?”

I snapped, annoyed. “Aren’t you here to apologize?”

“Right, right,” he cleared his throat, his demeanor changing. “Y/N, I’m deeply sorry.”

“Sure.” I narrowed my eyes, walking towards my kitchen.

He followed me. “I know what I did was fucked up. I should have responded to you.”

“You completely ignored me for over a week.” I informed him, resting my back against the counter.

He nodded. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I crossed my arms uncomfortably. “…were you busy?”

“No, not really.” He divulged, dropping his head.

“So, you purposefully ignored my calls and text…” I could feel my hands shake against my arms.

“You make it sound bad-” He mumbled.

“It is that bad.” I emphasized, stopping him. “Colby, you wanna talk about being childish? That shit was childish.”

He agreed. “I know it was.”

“Obviously not since you keep joking about it.” I argued.

“I’m not trying to joke,” he protested, running his hands through his hair. “Do you wanna know the honest to God truth?”

“Of course I do.” I answered, furrowing my eyebrows.

He exhaled, glancing at me. “When we first got together, even though we were taking it slow, I was terrified to date you.”

“Terrified?” I puzzled.

He swallowed hard. “Yes. Scared shitless.”

“Why?” I questioned.

“I thought it was because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But then… at dinner,” his voice lowered, his shoulders dropping. “I realized it was more than that.”

I shook my head, confused. “What are you ta-”

“I’m falling in love with you, Y/N.” He confessed.

His words made me step back, my breath hitching in my throat.

I choked. “What?”

“When you laughed really hard, and did that cute snort thing you do, I remember we looked at each other… and all I saw was you,” his eyes bore into mine, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin. “No one else in that restaurant existed. And in that moment, I wanted to tell you I love you.”

I stammered out words, unable to think clearly. “S-so… you-”

“When I felt it, I knew I had to go home. Because I was just so shocked at the feeling. I haven’t felt that way for anyone in a long time.” He sighed exhaustingly, “and… I apologize that I ignored you. Every time I saw your messages, I knew I should have responded. But my body, my mind, wouldn’t let me.”

I frowned. “Because you love me?”

“Because… I’m scared to love you.” He admitted.

A heavy silence fell over the apartment. I shuddered out an exhale, not even noticing I had been holding my breath in for so long. Colby closed his eyes, twisting up his face, and turned his back to me.

“Why are you scared to love me?” I gulped, scared of his answer.

His shoulders tensed as he gripped the counter. “The last time you felt heartbroken… did it leave you feeling empty? Because that’s how I felt… for so long. It’s not even the empty feeling that bothered me. It was the fact that I knew something used to be there… and now it’s gone. I miss who I was before.”

I opened my mouth, but no words escaped.

“I have this deep, guttural feeling that you’re gonna realize I’m not worth loving, and that there is someone else out there that is, and you’re gonna leave me.” His voice trembled as he spoke, “everyone… always leaves me.”

I gasped quietly. “Colby-”

He turned back to me, his face becoming red. “I just feel like no one ever needs me, you know? Like some people only keep me around because they don’t have the heart to just tell me they don’t care anymore. Even Sam has someone else.

I consoled. “That’s not-”

“And I know it’s selfish to want everyone around me to only want me. I don’t really feel that way. I just… don’t feel like anyone really needs me as much as I need them,” his chest quaked as his breathing began to speed up. “And when you realize it too… I don’t think I can live through that fall out again. I don’t think I’m gonna survive it.”

“Wait, Col-” I murmured.

“At that dinner, I had this gut-wrenching anxiety come over me; a voice in my head that said ‘she’s gonna leave you too’ and… I’m just so sorry.” He panted, his eyes welling up.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pressing his body into mine as hard as I could. He buried his face into my neck, his body almost going limp against mine.

I couldn’t help my own tears spill as they landed on his shirt. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way before?”

“I was ashamed. I should be stronger than this.” He fumed through his tears.

I rubbed his face lovingly. “Who said that? You are strong. Expressing your emotions is strong.”

He nodded, croaking. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course. How about tonight you stay over, and then in the morning, we’ll talk about this more? Okay?” I suggested, resting my hands on his forearms.

“Yeah.” He whimpered.

I smiled brokenly. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I lightly grasped Colby’s hand, pulling him slowly into my bedroom. He stumbled along, his head remaining down.

I sat him down on the bed and slid off his jacket, placing it on my dresser. I cupped his face, tracing his jaw with my fingers. His eyes finally landed on mine as I tilted his head up.

I leaned down and kissed his lips, resting my forehead against his.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Colby.” I stated, gazing into his eyes.

He begged in a hushed tone. “Please don’t.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I reassured, kissing his forehead.

I walked over to the other side of my bed and laid down. Colby kicked off his shoes, taking his belt off and pulling his jeans down. After getting undressed, he slid into bed with me, laying his head down softly on my chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he buried his head into my neck again, sighing against my skin. I ran my fingers through his hair, a light hum falling from his lips. I ran my other hand up and down his spine, feeling him shiver under my touch.

“We’ll be okay, Colby.” I whispered.

[senanatheskenana]

Like Birds In The Breeze (pt 5)

Kazuha went against his better judgement, grasping (Y/N)’s wrist, and pulling her through the narrow alley.

“I’m going to trust you. Please don’t make me regret it, (Y/N)”

She let a shimmering tear slide down her cheek as she forced herself to keep up, her knees quivering with the speed at which her companion pulled her along.

Kazuha’s head was running wild. Who was that man? And why was he such a big problem for (Y/N)? He couldn’t help but wonder if he was the thing she was running from. He didn’t look all that frightening, or anything less than friendly. But Kazuha knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

Though he ran fast, he remained vigilant; stopping abruptly at every opening but remaining strong enough to withstand the force of the girl crashing into his back, unable to stop effectively from the pace. He couldn’t care less about that. All he cared about was returning and finally releasing the thick doubt and curiosity that bubbled in his stomach. He had come to like her, and though the interaction was small, he knew from Beidou that she was gentle and wary, like a lamb.

He stopped once more and, yet again, (Y/N) found herself faceplanting into the hard back of Kazuha. She groaned quietly.

“Okay, can you please stop doing that?”

He only shushed her, ushering her to peek behind the corner that hid them.

What she saw terrified her. She felt cold sweat trickle down her back, and once more her knees grew weak and wobbly. She found herself latching onto Kazuha’s arm for balance as she tried to calm her breathing.

Kazuha watched on calmer than (Y/N).  It was that man again. This time, however, he was joined by Beidou. He held a piece of parchment out to her that she wasted no time in grabbing. Her eyebrows creased as she read it before looking back at the stranger.

“If you have any information that you find relevant, please submit it post haste. This is an urgent matter. Lady Ningguang has been notified by an envoy already. If you could be so kind as to show the poster to others, it would be greatly appreciated.” “If everything you say is true, your best bet is to ask Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. I wouldn’t know anyone who could survive that big of a drop and three days at sea.” The man flinched slightly at the meaning of the captain’s words.

“I- We hold out hope. We still haven’t recovered a body so she remains adamant she must have survived,” he spoke solemnly, “I suppose, I should still take a look though, just to be sure. Thank you for your time, captain”

He was about to walk away before the woman called out to him. He turned back to her, curious.

“Fatui aren’t known for their sentimentality- much less a harbinger. So, what makes this a special case?”

His look turned cold, and the little bit of warmth in his blue eyes shifted darker, “It’s a job, not a lifestyle”

With that, he left.

Once Beidou was sure he was gone, her eyes shifted to where the two had been hiding.

“Kazuha let’s get back to the ship,” she was careful not to say her name. There were ears everywhere, and if she knew the fatui, that harbinger was not stupid enough to leave just like that.

(Y/N) looked down at the floor as they walked under the cover of shadows with the captain. She was silent and although he wanted to, Kazuha could not peak at the paper because she had folded it multiple times to hide its contents.

To her, the walk felt like years and though she wanted to (Y/N) could not find the words to speak up. She wasn’t sure if she should anyway.

She was still terrified but she pushed herself to keep walking. Was this a trap, or was Beidou really seemingly covering for her? If that was true, why would Beidou even consider putting herself in that situation if it meant she would be in trouble too if they were caught?

The three of them had made it back to the docks safely ad in complete silence, but now with the new openness of the docks, they had a new problem. “Keep your head down and get between us,” Kazuha whispered, gently grabbing her hand and squeezing it to reassure her. “We’ll be fine, I promise”

Beidou looked over at them both but still didn’t say anything.

It seemed the news wasn’t widespread just yet and they inwardly thanked the archons that there was a lack of Millelith soldiers out today. No one seemingly batted an eye as they walked past. Then again people in Liyue were usually more interested in their purchases than in the others around them.

Beidou ushered them both onto the ship as quickly as possible. She kept moving them forward and into the captain's quarters, shutting and barring the door twice for good measure.

“Ok, you’re gonna need to start giving us some answers, kid,” she unfolded the paper and slid it across the desk to her.

Kazuha inhaled sharply and snatched the page. She held her head in her hands and breathed deeply.

“I know. It’s just- it’s just complicated”

“I never believed you were dangerous, but I'm not sure this is all that much better” Beidou sighed when (Y/N) sobbed into her palm, “Look, we’re not about to throw you out. We just need to know what we’re getting ourselves into”

She raised her head, eyes red and teary.

Kazuha was still awestruck, reading the poster back to himself over and over.

‘Princess (Y/N) of Snezhnaya’

It included a rather good sketch of her in a ball gown, hair elegant and curled. Nothing like Kazuha had ever seen before.

‘Information considered useful will be rewarded'

'The safe return of the Princess will result in…’

[favefandomimagines]

I Bought A Ring (e.b.)

Summary: Abby’s back and Buck doesn’t know how to handle the news. And neither do you. 

AN: i’m still PISSED that abby came back even if only for an episode, my poor buck was so hurt ): this was something i had deep in my drafts and now that buck is blowing up it seemed like a good time to post it!

there is a buck fic similar to this and i just wanna say that i did not copy or steal the idea. i’ve had this in my drafts for months since season 3 ended so no one stole anyone’s idea! if you wanna check out their fic their username is @lotsoflovefromlea and the fic is titled ‘Second Best’ it’s really really good

You didn’t think you’d have to face the day when Buck’s past came back to haunt him. You were hoping it would stay in the past and you would be his future. But life has a funny way of putting us to the test. 

After the train crash, and Buck saw Abby again, he had been acting distant. Distant enough for you to notice that something was wrong. It wasn’t hard to notice, especially when the two of you live together. 

He would rarely talk when you had the same shift at the 118, there was no conversation during dinner and he’d come to bed long after you had already fallen asleep. 

It had gotten to the point where you didn’t even remember the last time he kissed you or touched you. And you had enough of the maltreatment. 

You exited the shower and saw him standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. You walked down the stairs and stood across from him, the tension between the two of you painfully obvious. 

“What’s been going on with you?” You asked, breaking the ice. “What do you mean?” He asked, not meeting your gaze. “Seriously? Buck, you’ve been acting like I killed your dog for three weeks since the train crash. What the hell is going on?” You explained. 

Buck sighed before looking up at you. He knew he couldn’t keep secrets from you. Including ones that could possibly change your relationship. 

“Abby reached out to me. She wanted to meet up to talk.” He said. Buck could tell by the way your right eyebrow was raised and your eyes narrowed that you were not happy. “Really? And you went?” You asked. “Yeah.” Buck answered quietly. 

You laughed bitterly before walking around the counter back towards the stairs. “God, you just can’t seem to let her go, can you?” You started. “It’s been, what? Two years? Two years since she left you for her ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ experience and got engaged? And who was the one who never left your side? Me. It was me, Evan and even now, you can’t seem to realize how terrible she was to you. Face it, you were her midlife crisis and you fell in love with her and never fell back out. All while making me fall in love with you.” You finished. 

Sure you were a tad bit cruel, but it was what he needed to hear. No one wanting to be the one who had to pop his perfect bubble when it came to Abby. 

“I stayed with you when you were suing the department for christ sake! And I can’t do it anymore, Evan.” You added. There it was again. His dreaded first name. The name you never used unless you were beyond angry with him. And he hated hearing it come from your lips. “Y/N, what do you mean?” He asked. 

Fear was coursing through his body as he waited for you to finally leave him. After everything he put you through, Abby was the last straw. 

“I mean, maybe we should take a break. Until you figure out what it is you really want.” You answered. It wasn’t something you wanted nor did you think it would ever happen. “No. No, no, Y/N, don’t do this.” He begged, walking towards you. “I have too. Since she came back, this relationship has been one sided and I don’t deserve that.” You said. 

“Please, Y/N, I love you.” Buck told you. “Do you? Because you have a funny way of showing it.” You replied. You swiftly grabbed your keys and your purse and made a path towards the exit. “So this is it? You’re breaking up with me?” Buck asked, causing you to stop. 

“I don’t want to. But you seem to have unresolved feelings for Abby and you can’t claim to love one person wholeheartedly when you clearly don’t. Figure it out, Buck. But remember who was here when no one else was.” You answered before leaving the house. 

You didn’t know where else to go after you left. So you decided to go to Bobby and Athena’s. Bobby was like a father to you when you joined the 118 and you trusted him more than you trusted most people. 

After trying to straighten yourself up and wipe the tears from your face, you got out of the car and headed to the front door. You knocked a couple of times and waited for the door to open. 

When it did, Athena’s face softened when she saw you and instantly knew something was wrong. “Y/N? What’s wrong? What happened?” She asked, ushering you inside. “I didn’t know where else to go.” You answered. 

Bobby, wondering who was at the door, turned the corner and saw you standing in the entryway. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Buck and I got into a fight. He went to meet up with Abby and he didn’t tell meand I just, I just don’t understand why he won’t let her go. Am I not enough?” You explained. 

Athena shushed you and pulled you into a hug to comfort you. She knew Buck was stubborn but not so much that you felt you had to leave. Bobby was furious. He hated seeing you so upset and he was frustrated with the young man for making you think you weren’t enough for him. 

After a few minutes, Athena made up the guest bedroom for you and said you could stay as long as you needed. But you hoped it wouldn’t have to be for long. 

__

Bobby arrived at the station in search for Buck and found him sulking while Hen and Chimney were grilling him about his mood. “What’s wrong with you today?” Chimney asked. “Him and Y/N got in a fight last night and she walked out on him.” Bobby answered for him. 

Buck looked up at his captain with wide eyes, wondering how he knew about the prior events. “She stayed at mine and Athena’s last night.” He added. Buck let out a sigh of relief, mainly because he was worried sick about you. You didn’t answer a single one of his calls or texts and he didn’t know where you went off to. 

“Why did she walk out on you?” Hen asked. “Because I may have went to meet up with Abby the other day. And apparently I had been acting distant towards Y/N and she confronted me.” Buck explained. “Seriously? You still have feelings for Abby?” Hen asked. “No, Hen-” Buck tried to explain but was interrupted by his coworkers. 

“Y/N is the perfect girl for you and you’re throwing her away for someone who left you?” She continued. “Hen,” Buck started. “You’re stupid but not this stupid.” She said. “Hen! I don’t have feelings for Abby anymore. I wanted to give her a chance to explain why she left and to thank her. Because if she wouldn’t have left, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.” Buck interrupted. 

“And I,” He started before he stopped himself, not sure if he wanted to tell everyone his secret. “You what?” Eddie asked. Buck looked up at his friends before sighing. “I bought a ring.” He answered. “Wait, what?” Chimney asked. “I bought a ring. I was going to propose but then I got all in my head after Abby showed up. I thought Y/N would say no and she’d leave me just like Abby did.” Buck explained. 

The rest of the 118 crew was silent as they looked down at Buck. Hen sat down across from him before speaking. “That girl is head over heels in love with you, Buck. She has been since the first time she met you and the last thing she would do is leave you like Abby did. Though, because of Abby, she felt she had no choice.” She said. 

“I need to get her back. I didn’t even know what to do this morning without her.” Buck said. “When does she come in for her shift?” He asked Bobby. “She was supposed to be here by now. She left before me.” The man answered. 

Before anyone could form a theory about your whereabouts, the bell went off signaling they had a call. 

They soon arrived to the scene of a car accident, one car completely flipped upside down. 

The 118 stopped short, however, when they noticed who’s car was upside down. It was yours that was hit by a guy texting and driving and ran a red light. 

“Y/N?” Buck called, running to the driver side door. “Buck, you’re too close to this.” Bobby stopped him. “We’re all too close to this, Bobby.” Buck rebutted. Bobby looked at Athena and gestured for her to keep Buck away from the scene. “Keep him away from her.” He instructed his. wife. 

Eddie began trying to get the door off and Hen and Chimney noticed you were still conscious, struggling to get out and stay awake. 

“Y/N, can you hear me?” Hen asked. “Yeah. I-I can hear you.” You stammered. “I have a piece of shrapnel between the third and fourth intercostal space. Mild to severe concussion and around three broken ribs, and a possible pulmonary contusion.” You told them. 

Both EMTs were surprised that you could still diagnose and recognize your symptoms while having a concussion and actively bleeding. 

Once the door was off the car, Hen and Chimney set down the backboard and Eddie began cutting your seatbelt. 

“Where’s Buck?” You asked him. “Bobby won’t let him help. He’s too close to this one.” Eddie answered. “Aren’t you all though?” You joked. Eddie laughed dryly as the seatbelt was cut free. “Can you move?” He asked. 

You looked down at the piece of metal from the seat and back up at him. “You have to pull it out.” You told him. “Y/N,” Eddie started. “Eddie, you have to pull it out or I won’t be able to move. I have a concussion, I’m already bleeding and in about five minutes I’m going to pass out. I will slowly bleed out from the inside if I don’t move. Pull the damn thing out.” You snapped. 

Eddie looked at you for a moment before glancing over at Buck, arguing with Athena. As Eddie pulled the piece of metal out of your side, Buck broke free of Athena’s grasp and fell to his friend’s side. 

“Y/N, baby, are you okay?” He asked frantically. “I’m going to pass out in a couple of seconds so I’m sorry, Buck. For what happened last night.” You spoke, your breathing becoming shallower. “Buck we gotta move her.” Eddie told him. 

Your eyes fell closed slowly and the heart rate monitor attached to you started beeping rapidly. “We gotta get her out now.” Hen instructed. Bobby pulled Buck back as he watched in horror while his friends began giving you CPR once they pulled you from the car.

Your heart beat thankfully went back to normal and Chimney and Hen loaded you into the back of the ambulance. 

Buck took the liberty of joining you considering he was your emergency contact, having no other family in LA.

Once the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Buck, Chimney and Hen were forced to stay at the ER bay, not being allowed to go with you. 

Buck watched as the doctors took you away and this quickly became his worst nightmare. What if you didn’t make it? What if the last conversation you had was a fight? 

Bobby’s hand rested on Buck’s shoulder as they all watched you disappear down the hallway. 

__

It had been hours. Hours of the 118 sitting in the waiting room for you to come out of surgery. Buck was a nervous wreck and no amount of consoling from Maddie or Eddie made it any better. He knew she should have told you about meeting with Abby but he was afraid of ruining everything. But not telling you made it ten times worse. 

“Evan Buckley?” A doctor called, alerting the entire crew. “Th-That’s me. I’m Evan Buckley.” Buck replied. “Y/N is going to be okay. We repaired the damage to her lung as well as the other internal damage she received from the car crash. She still had a major concussion and she’ll be out of commission for a while, but she got incredibly lucky.” The doctor explained. 

Buck let out a very visible sigh of relief, as did everyone else. “Can I see her?” Buck asked. “She’s in the ICU so only a couple of people at a time.” The doctor said. “You go, Buck. We’ll see her when she’s moved to a normal room.” Bobby told him. 

He nodded his head and followed the doctor to your room. He saw you lying in the hospital bed, multiple IVs in your hands and arms and an oxygen tube in your nose. 

Your eyes were still closed but he could tell you were awake, though hearing the doctor’s voice alerted you. 

“Y/N, someone’s here to see you.” You turned your head slightly and saw Buck standing in the doorway. “Hi.” You said quietly, your voice still hoarse from the breathing tube in surgery. 

Buck sat in the chair next to you, his eyes red and watering. “I am so sorry, Y/N,” He whispered. “I should have told you about Abby but I met with her to get closure. And to thank her because if she wouldn’t have left me, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.” He added. 

“It’s okay. I should have let you explained.” You replied. “I have something else to tell you.” Buck said. “Oh no, now what?” You joked. “I bought a ring.” He said. “Like, a ring ring?” You questioned. “Yes, a ring ring.” Buck laughed. “Where is it?” You asked.

Buck let go of your hand for a moment and fished the piece of jewelry out of his pocket.

“You have to put it on for me.” You said. Buck looked at you in disbelief as he smiled, sliding the ring on your left finger. “I’m assuming that’s a yes.” He said. “Of course it is. I’d be stupid to say no to you.” You told him with a smile.

Buck squeezed your hand gently as he looked at the ring on your finger. “I never want to come that close to losing you ever again.” He muttered. “You won’t. I don’t plan on leaving you for a long time.” You said. “Good. Because I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” Buck said. 

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead as you looked down at the ring. “You did a good job.” You commented. Buck laughed at your comment, causing a smile to grace your face. “Hen and Maddie helped.” He said. “I figured as much.” You replied. 

The rest of the evening, or whatever time of day you thought it was, Buck stayed by your side. Even when the doctors were running their tests and looking over your condition. After almost losing you, there was no way you were going to get rid of Buck even for a moment.