#for all i know id be totally normal about it now. but idk

[boypussydilf]

i GOTTA rewatch hlvrai but i fear that it will once again fling me into the deepest throes of insanity not that that’s a bad thing but like im not ready for that. im busy

[this-doesnt-endd]

I dont need these things but i wanna get those like finger pulse oxygen readers and the like blood pressure wrist cuffs. I dont need them i go to dr appts all the time and ive never had issues but like all of a sudden i feel like i really need them and i need to know these stats daily

[rubys-domain]

so... i think i've achieved consistent one-phase pyro regisvine by leveling up kazuha's burst to 6 and bennett's aquila favonia to 85. which is good. but it can be better. i want to get to the point where popping chongyun's burst is enough to kill it. for now i still have to do some normals and a second pop of his skill in order to kill it

[moonydoodlez]

i dont even know how to ask this because i just want one thing well two actually u change my mind alastor without his jacket all messy like (you know what i mean) AND HIS HAIR UP IN A LITTLE PONYTAIL OR BUN IDC IDK ITS JUST UP AND IM DROOLING

Im gonna eat you

Pairing: Alastor x F!reader

Warnings: the only warning is the fact that i wrote this at 3 am so enough said.. but also there lowkey really horny...

Wordcount: 524

Note: Eveytime i see art of this man with his hair up lord have mercy.. id devour him actually.

You have known Alastor for a long time now. You had met him while you were both still alive. Although there were bans on alcohol at the time, you were able to sneak your way into a speakeasy. You sat at the damp gross bar waiting for the man to serve you. Of course being a woman he took his sweet time before ever asking you what you’d like. However a tall slender man walked up to you. He was wearing all red and wore a smirk that seemed to never leave his lips. After a night of drinking and doing things a lady shouldn't have done you went home fulfilled… and filled. To your dismay never seeing the man again.

That was until you ended up in hell for a cute murdering spree or whatever. You walked around aimlessly before bumping into two girls by accident. The girl with long blonde hair apologized frantically which just made you stare at her annoyed. You hated overly happy people. Of course the happy girl asked you to her hotel in which you totally thought she was trying to have a threesome, but really she was just being nice.

After months of living in this hotel and ‘trying’ to get better so you could be redeemed. Which you thought was a load of bullshit because why would you wanna get better when you're already better than everyone. During those months though you had gotten very close to Alastor. You had spent many nights with him, not always of sexual nature of course. 

One morning though you woke up and you quickly realized he was gone from your bed. Which wasn’t normal usually after being with you he wanted to be as close as possible. You looked around the room to see if maybe he just decided not to sit on the bed. Your eyes widened as he came out of the bathroom with no shirt on and just pants. To make matters worse he had his hair in a little ponytail. His hair wasn’t quite long enough to have all his hair up so there were little bits sticking off the side and sticking out from under where it was pulled up. You stared at him like you could have devoured him right in that moment.

“What” His staticy voice broke you out of your thoughts. He slowly walked toward you, joining you in bed again. He began talking about god knows what but you could focus on his hair at this moment.

“This is new” You say, interrupting him, reaching your hand up to his hair. “Very hot” You breath heavily watching him, watching how he sat there so slutty without even realizing.

His head whipped to you as he realized how you were ogling him like some object. “You think?” He whispered sultrily as his hand came up to grip your throat. 

You let out a whimper as he brings your face to his before kissing you slowly. So slow it almost hurt how badly you wanted him at that moment. You were aching for his attention, attention only he could ever give you.

Masterlist Alastor Masterlist

[stormblessed95]

I know this is a boring convo for yall. But Jimin literally sees JK likes his brother from another mom. Nothing he said about his album or during the show adds up to your theory of them being boyfriends. Dont forget he said whether he can even love someone (i didnt saw any Jikookers mentioning it as it wasn't translation error or album theme but his irl words) I don't think JK remotely comes to his ideal type nor he have that type of feelings for JK. I'm not talking about goofy talks they do for a lil funny moment infront of cam. But the real Park Jimin behind the cam totally sees JK as his brother.

Boring? No, id love a boring ask. Annoying and repetitive? Yes.

Are you trying to change my mind? Why? What does it matter to you? What you think of their relationship doesn't matter to me.

This post, also for you

Because the whole "your theory" comment. Bitch I KNOW you didn't read my posts. Especially because of your "I didn't see any jikookers mentioning it" comment. Because I did. And I even highlighted it in red. Sooooo take your stupid ass opinions to your own blog. Or at least to jikookers who are doing whatever the fuck you are accusing them of. Or at a very bare minimum, read the posts about the theories you are mentioning in the blog you decide to message. Because all this does is make me roll my eyes at you. Zero of any kind of productive conversation with this sort of ask.

I can't and won't give a shit about your opinions, if you won't give a shit about mine, by actually reading them.

Fascinating you know the real park Jimin behind the cameras. I hope you share your thoughts with him, not me next time. Thanks.

The funny little moments in front of the cam, like asking for kisses....

Jimins type in girl as per early year interview

Cute, shorter than him, long hair, nice

Jimins type in boys as per interviews....

Oh wait, why would they ever ask him that. Lol but he has been pretty clear with hints towards queerness/bi-ness. And he has stayed at one point to JK that JK is his type.... So perhaps next time you meet up with Jimin IRL, since you know him and all, make more an effort to get to know him better? Idk

Normally I'd just ignore you, but I'm so tired of all this bullshit. Take it to someone who cares.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[spot-the-ableism]

to set the record straight, as I have zero things to hide.

[IMAGE ID: a tumblr post by user crippled-peeper, it is a reblog chain of 3 posts. It reads “accuses me of “race faking” because I talked about being a refugee from Katrina checks my bio again first line: white man” next reblog reads “idk what’s more fucked up, that these bloggers are named “spot the antisemitism” or “ spot the ableism” or the fact that they are so racist and ableist they think the only way a white person could be a refugee is if they’re making it up” next post reads “ “you can’t be a refugee and disagree with me!!! Everyone knows that I am the arbiter of who is and isn’t a refugee as someone who lives in a gated community in the USA !!! Don’t you know I RUN A BLOG?!?!?” The tags read “#I’m so glad other people are im agreement that these kids are actual clowns not to be taken seriously at all” END ID:]

I never said or insinuated that you were not a climate refugee, nor that you were a racefaker

above is proof, I have not edited the posts nor want to. You have the reblogs to prove I in fact did not edit anything.

the things you are claiming I “did” were things that spot-the-antisemitism did and said.

intracommunity ableism is still ableism, hate speech against both Jewish and other disabled people is not okay, you can be both completely totally right to call out spot-the-antisemitism’s ableism and commit hate speech against random Jewish and disabled people. You can do both, nuance exists.

me calling you out on harmful behaviour and inciting hate speech is not a bad nor immoral thing I’d hope you would do it to me.

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

if you are mad at me swearing at you may I remind you that you have committed way worse acts of hate speech and yet I gave you benefit of the doubt. People are allowed to swear at people.

i have said you may be having a horrible time right now due to medication troubles and that people should not harass you regardless. And that they should keep in mind that you have been through a lot and do not want harassment. I do also humbly apologise for swearing it was wrong of me to and not conducive to anything helpful.

if anything I have been way too forgiving, what you have said to many well meaning and non-ableist/normal disabled people has been utterly vile and yet do I use that against you? Yet do I say those same things towards you? Yet do I mean to hurt or harass you? No.

I live my life, you live yours, I care about you enough to actually call out people who do wish to hurt you. I shouldn’t, but I do. If you return my very calm and sincere response with the same energy and hatred that you usually do it is not in good faith.

you are having a hard time, a hard time always. And I do not wish to contribute to that. But I cannot stay silent and let others be hurt by what you do and you say. Words do effect reality, there are people behind these screens and I am one, and I am writing this sincerely.

again why am I ableist when I was the one to in fact call out and hold spot-the-antisemitism accountable, and explain why it was bad? I spotted the ableism, simple as that.

I am no wimp, or coward if you wish to call me horrible things I am proud to Bare it.

As I do with all things.

sincerely a disabled person who was told way worse things than this over the course of my childhood.

if you do say "KYS" or any variation of it I will be reporting you.

as that. is. hate. speech. and violent speech which. is. not. legal.

I have not discriminated against you nor malgendered you, I have only sweared at you at the worst (and called out that fakeclaiming and spewing violent hate speech is unacceptable), if anything I have been on your side on most of this.

this comes from a place of love, not hatred.

[lesbiamano]

im back asking about the wildcard!futaba au. im interested to hear your royal trio dynamic! would haru enable all their impulsive ideas and tangents? maybe haru and sojiro talk about growing coffee beans,, that would be so fun. any hcs for how they spend their time? - 🦐

omg i didn't even see this until now, sorry! i wrote a whole rant about how this aus royal trio (futaba, sumire, ann) would kinda interact until it kinda dawned on me that maybe you mean akira, goro, and sumire and now i'm not so sure. i think i'm just a little stupid and understood this entire question wrong but. here's the au rant

honestly, i haven't sat down properly and thought of how their interactions would go yet. during 3rd sem i feel like sumire would be very nervous and hesitant about letting ann explore the metaverse with them (as the newbie and everything), since sumi knows of all the horrors in the metaverse and palaces and whatever, while futaba would be like lol chill. this girl can whip some serious ass. and ann does indeed whip ass. id like for them to have more interactions than actual in game royal trio, both before and after 3rd sem, i think they would be fun. like, teenage celebrity 'kasumi' yoshizawa, model ann takamaki, and,,,,,,, random shujin girl sitting down at a cafe and being totally normal with eachother. very hilarious. futaba would come up with some crazy stupid ideas and ann would be like girl! you're so right! let's do this reckless insane plan you came up with on the fly because you haven't been thinking straight since the rest of the phantom thieves left! and sumire is like. hey guys. you don't have to listen to me but maybe we should not do this. just my opinion. my brain stopped working so i can't think of more but i might add more into this later idk.

as to akira, goro, and sumire, i mean,, in the shortest way possible theyre crazier i guess. i mean sumi was the black mask here so go figure.

and about haru, she would totally be bonding with sojiro over growing coffee beans and the like,, he was very glad when futaba befriended haru because to him it was like. phew she's actually adjusting here and befriending seemingly normal average people? when haru is very much not normal or average but hey she's good with plants and grows coffee beans so sojiro doesn't mind her and tells futaba to hang out with more people like her lol

[liquidstar]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

For drinks, fandom, character design, and uh free choice for whatever you feel like bestie

Ok for drinks, I've actually been thinking about this all day- I saw a poll that said something like “have you ever been to a house party (with alcohol; no family parties)” and, well, maybe op meant it as two separate points of clarity but… it's normal to drink at family parties? Right? Ik it's totally not the point of the poll, but I've never been to a family party where there weren't drinks. Why would there not be drinks???? There should be drinks. Those don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I realize that you were probably asking me about drink preference opinions. I don't have any strong unpopular ones. My grandpa makes a mean moonshine though. We have it at family parties, you see.

TBH whenever I’m at parties, family or otherwise, or just at the club or a restaurant, my drink of choice is usually just “bring me something with 2 or 3 shots of vodka idk im just trying to get drunk.” im going somewhere this week that has once rejected my id bc i look young, so this time i’m bringing my whole passport. I think it’s at my parents house but i will get it. And so help me god i am going to drink this time. Thats not even an unpopular opinion just a personal grievance lol

-

For fandom…. My unpopular opinion is that actually it’s best to just get into stuff a couple years after the peak popularity. I know some ppl feel like they missed out, but I think it’s better. You don’t have to deal with The Fandom People, but theres still stuff to engage with, and still a following of fewer dedicated ppl who weren’t just riding a fandom hypetrain. It’s more chill. Like, I am so sorry, but rn it’s dungeon meshi. I was really enjoying it at first, but the fandom made me wanna stop, at least for now. Mostly because I dislike the way people in it seem to look down on other works within the same medium, and that also does the work itself a discredit. But yeah, I wanna try to get back into it, but I need people to, like, relax first. Thats also why im able to peacefully enjoy rezero on tumblr, where theres like 12 ppl into it, so i dont have to deal w the annoying nerdboy fans who just talk abt "waifus" (its funny that my issues are "too pretentious" and "not pretentious enough" lol)

-

My 3rd unpopular opinion is that fart jokes can be kinda funny but they have to be done well. im fresh off the heels of watching a movie with the kids, so thats why im thinking abt this. You can't just throw it in randomly it's about timing. And it has to know it's stupid. I think the key is it has to know it's stupid. BUT NOT GROSS. gross on its own its nothing. Adventure Time and Regular Show understand. Very deep opinions only here

[dykeyote]

ok my dndads queer hc post randomly gets notes but i disagree w many of the takes now so im updating it . spoiler warning theres a WHOLE lot of lezzies . just doing the dads kiddads and teens HOWEVER i will say that mark likely is for sure a lezzer

darryl: bisexual and probably the most cisgender one here but he's actually SO cis that it becomes almost gnc . he/him

ron: transhet guy but he thinks his transition is like very unique to him and everyone else is doing it the exact same as each other so he doesnt really get that hes Transgender bc he thinks everyone else is doing it in a really different way than him all together . not in an angsty way hes perfectly okay w that . he/him

henry: trans bi guy we know this to be true . he/him but if you called him they/them prns he would be like well yknow ive never thought about that before but you know what go right ahead (: he doesnt exactly enjoy it but he appreciates just how gosh-darn nonbinary positive you are that he'd still encourage it

glenn: bisexual and like .... hes cis he doesnt really care abt gender much but when nick came out as trans he definitely said something about like . "dude if i was trans? id totally use they/them pronouns thats sick as fuck" and then moved on and this sort of haunted nick for a while . he/him but again he doesnt really care

jodie: cis and bisexual but in such a boring way that he might as well be straight

sparrow: tgirl lesbian who was out at one point but is not now for Normalcy Reasons . she/her in theory

lark: transneu nonbinary and aroace . not out about either of these things but not really as a like Actively Closeted thing they just dont really think abt it . they/he in theory

terry jr: tgirl lesbian also but this time out AND butch . she/he

grant: gay of course . and like .... he is cis and this wont change but he'd be a good deal happier if he was more gnc i think

nick: tguy butch lesbian . he mostly but he doesnt really care that much

link: kinda-stealth tboy (not really intentionally or anything he just doesnt really see it as relevant that often so most people dk) and gay . he/him but he doesnt really care that much

taylor: honestly idk what i think is going on w his gender but i DO know hes aro and bi . give me some time to think on that ok

scary: out nonbinary tfem lesbian!!!!! we know this!!!!!! she/it and when she writes her pronouns down she always writes the it in VERY BIG AGGRESSIVE HANDWRITING to make it clear that its SUBVERSIVE AND WEIRD

normal: bisexual tgirl . currently in a like . Questioning Phase in s2 i feel like ..... her turmoil abt being a Normal Son is tied to that . any pronouns but she primarily

hermie: bigender (girl + boy) gaybian :3 was an open bisexual tguy originally but around the poison ivy era had some Gender Complexity . he/she but certain Method Personas have diff pronoun leans whereas normal herm is pretty 50/50

[will80sbyers]

id love to draw more byler kisses but i and a couple other artists i’ve spoken to (i mean it was a couple months ago now ah) got kinda nervous to draw that back when some part of the fandom were ‘cancelling’ people over the smallest stuff or making up assumptions off of ~vibes~ that aren’t even true. it made it discouraging for smaller artists bc of course we want to explore the romance but sometimes more than a little peck on the lips is needed, or feels more right. like as an artist you want to evoke emotion, and you can’t do that holding back just bc some people can’t handle some characters growing up? most of us just want to draw the deeper level of love we’ll be getting in s5 anyway. i know it shouldn’t matter/we can post what we want etc but especially on twitter people were soo extreme about anything other than basic content. idk if I’m explaining right, but are romantic kisses (not crazy passionate lol) something the fandom wants to see, not just cute little ones? maybe it’s better now idk, this post made me happy to see tbh 😅

Oh I definitely want to see the romantic kisses, the real big kiss and even it being passionate (not in a crazy way) because that's how you get the intensity of the relationships in romance for me personally at least

and don't get me wrong, I absolutely love them just holding hands too or doing cute relationships stuff but kisses are part of the majority of relationships, that is an experience most people and couples have in life, obviously not all and I'm NOT saying that who doesn't do it doesn't love equally, but it's just a different expression that should be represented too along with all the others!

but I get it, you should do what you want obviously and if you don't want to deal with that part of the fandom it's totally valid!!! I'm sorry you had to experience that in the fandom :(

I think people must stop to associate simple kissing with sex, like, NO ONE is asking for more explicit art of byler because they are too young for that to be okay obviously, and no one wants to see that!!!! but a kiss is just a kiss

and I personally want to say that people CANCELLING people because they draw a couple in a ship only kissing are completely out of reality, a kiss is there to express affection and love not always to get to more intimate parts of the relationship

Teenagers kiss in movies constantly, it's an expression of love, and it doesn't have to be leading to sex EVER, unless they want it to in their private moment that we are definitely not interested in seeing!!!

if you seriously think that kissing someone can only lead you to sleep with them you have a distorted view of affection, maybe because someone made you think it should but it absolutely does not have to lead to more intimate things!!! ( Never do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing, if you're ok with kissing it means that you're ok with kissing, anything MORE than that should be discussed between the people involved. )

How are artists supposed to give us cute content and cute art about the ship if you start cancelling everybody even when they did nothing wrong...?

and also how are we supposed to take "cancelling" seriously anyway, if the situation is really this? shouldn't that be reserved for when people do something that's really harmful to others??? implying that who wants to see a kiss between two people in love in a story is a pedo is insane and completely out of reality... they are 15 not 10, it's perfectly normal and healthy for them to be kissing?????

and it's also stupid because the whole world is watching it happen constantly on TV, movies, books... and why is this a problem only for byler???? only the mlm couple has to be under scrutiny for this? interesting, I wonder why!

I WONDER if maybe people are sexualizing mlm ships more than they should and subconsciously thinking that people want to see them do more even when all they are asking is just a NORMAL healthy thing like a kiss... because of that, because they have that

gay = sexual

in automatic response!!!

THAT is harmful to real queer people around the world.

Examine yourself when you have thoughts like that, because that is rooted in homophobia or lesbiphobia...

also remember that real people often do have sex and teenagers are sexual beings, that doesn't mean that it should be depicted explicitly in the media or that it's any adults business what they do or don't, but it's not ok to want to just hide completely that part of reality and it's also DANGEROUS.

Teenagers MUST get safe and healthy sexual EDUCATION in a safe environment, from doctors and teachers because they will want to do that anyway and it's important to inform them about these things so that they can protect themselves from catching diseases, ending up pregnant when they are too young for it or being forced against their will to do something or not respect someone's consent because no one taught them about respecting it and they learned about sex from the porn industry that is rather violent in almost every video 😕

but going back to this specific situation and byler... this is also weird because IN the show we had Mike and El making out when they were even younger than Mike and Will now! That could have really been avoided but it also doesn't mean that the writers are pedophiles for writing them kissing when they are in a relationship, that's just writing reality, they are in their first relationship and they want to kiss, the Duffers were extremely respectful in their depiction of a part of reality because of their ages obviously... you should go to complain to people that are actually doing weird suff in this industry like the writer of Euphoria for example 😐

being RESPECTFUL is the same thing that artists do here when they handle byler, they stay respectful but still capture a moment of reality... it's just drawing their first kiss that it's a symbol of them confessing their romantic feelings, it is not meant to be anything more than that!!!

[slut4thebroken]

Hey same anon that was talking abt your speech👋

Im not saying its your fault that people pick on you, its definitely not your fault that they're assholes. However you said your tone was the main issue for this and I still think that that is something that's controllable. Again not saying this like it excuses them cuz it doesn't but im saying while adhd isn't something you can control, things like tone can be controlled.

And I wasn't saying all this so that you could accommodate for people, I was coming from the perspective that you could accommodate for yourself. Like this whole situation with the mean classmates, im a firm believer in saying something so they dont feel like they can continue to display their bad behaviors. (Side note: I understand masking is telling you to basically copy these people but the people you're copying are rude so im not blaming you)

But my advice wasn't that you mask. I have a husband who suffers the same as you and he used to mask with me and pretty much everyone in his life. I understand masking isn't ideal and I understand that you guys think about every little social interaction. My advice was to be comfortable with yourself but also look more inward and think that maybe you are rude during those interactions. Obviously I don't follow you around everywhere so idk how these things go. But from what I've seen from my husband is being comfortable with yourself and communicating things thru does wonders for both parties to understand each other and being comfortable with yourself id say limits the masking.

Also I figured id give you an explanation on why I thought you were rude since you were confused. I understand you were self hating in the moment but things that came off as rude and like you resent people were things like your tags when you said "so they should know by now that I cant fucking control it and thats how I talk" (which I totally understand this my husband was a jerk when we met too. The issue socially is probably youre too literal. Its not an easy fix but it is fixable from experience but saying things like "I can't control it" is very limiting towards yourself.) The reason this is rude is bc its rude to you obvi but also in your mind it seems like you kind of subconsciously expect people to just tolerate these things when they are not normal to "normal people" (you can educate me on the correct term btw cuz I honestly hate saying normal ppl I just can't think of what the correct term is called at the moment, im not hating)

You also made assumptions that people immediately get annoyed with you or think you're annoying and there was something you said abt people not feeling the same as you abt certain things you like. 1. Making assumptions abt how people feel abt you is always iffy cuz you just came up with that answer yourself you didn't ask them. It kinda shows how you view people or what you think they think which is most likely not the case. 2. For the not liking similar things, im not sure if these people don't have similar interests with you at all or what but a lot of times in life its not gonna be common to find someone with the same amount of interest in something as you do. Not saying its impossible tho I just wouldn't put that pressure on people. Them being fake however is a different thing but I wouldn't know if they were being fake with you or not. There's a lot of gaps with this because we don't know each other but im not trying to be mean or hateful and im not saying all this like its definite, you could take it or leave it. But I hope there's no hard feelings i just 1. Mainly wasnt okay with how you were talking to yourself but 2. I also did think you were being a bit rude to just people in general cuz ive been there myself. Obviously were different people and im not saying our situations are similar at all but how I took it was that while you hate these things abt yourself, you were also blaming people for things that are (whether we agree or not) in your control. But I could be totally wrong and thats okay.

I hope this didn't come off as rude tho cuz I dont intend for it to be but if it was im sorry. Its not often but sometimes I see things I have the full intention of just being helpful but I end up being the opposite. I do genuinely hope that these issues don't continue to bother you up mentally tho. (Also sorry that these have all been lengthy).

Please enlighten me on how that’s controlable. If you were talking nicely to other people, just trying to engage in conversation and be a good friend, and people constantly said that to you, what would you do? If you’re already consciously trying to sound nice. What else is there to do?

And I was comfortable with myself. My parents stopped saying I have an attitude when I was just talking a long time ago, none of my long term friends have ever made it seem like something that was a huge problem, even my ex understood that I literally just sound like that. But now I’m constantly reevaluating every interaction, trying to figure out if I actually sounded rude or if I just thought I did, or if maybe they reacted a certain way because my tone didn’t match what I was trying to say. And I’m fucking tired. I don’t know what else I should do when I’m already intentionally trying to not sound rude other than just not fucking talk at all lmao which I just realized that I’ve lowkey started doing.

And I am too literal… that’s why I don’t pick up on things like I mentioned in my original post. There’s nothing I can do to train myself to not be literal so I’m not exactly sure how I would fix that. The term is neurotypical and I’m not saying they should tolerate it but when I quite literally apologize and correct my tone immediately after saying something that could be seen as rude, I personally think it’s a dick move to continue to be mean about it rather than just say “thanks for the apology. Good to know.” And I appreciate when people tell me that something I said sounded off because then we can fix the miscommunication and also I don’t want anyone to think I don’t like them because of that one interaction. But after having this conversation (“wtf. You don’t have to be so mean about it.” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be mean. I meant it like this__.”) so many times, I don’t understand why they would continue to respond like that. Some people have started saying stuff along the lines of “lmao girl that did not sound how you wanted it to” and I apologize again every time.

As for the making assumptions part, clearly you don’t know what it’s like to just be able to tell that someone doesn’t like you lol. I’ve delt with that my whole life (as have most neurodivergent people), I’m rarely wrong about that stuff for myself personally. And I understand that people have different interests… that’s not what I was saying. What I was saying was I don’t like how I’ll get excited about something and start talking about it cause I get riled up and then I realize that I’m talking a lot and that they don’t care. I’m not good at stopping that before it starts and the only reason I put that in the original post is because I literally did it earlier that day lmao.

It did come off as rude and it actually really hurt my feelings. In the future, maybe ask if someone wants help rather than giving unsolicited advice about a situation you barely know anything about. Never in my original post did I ask for advice, I was literally just venting after having a really rough day. And while I appreciate that it was your intention to help, you should just be more thoughtful moving forward.

[royallygray]

Royal remember when we would send asks to each other with a bunch of questions? Well I'm doing that again now. As always, no pressure and feel free to just answer a few instead of all of them :D

Do you keep plants? And do they actually live or do they just die?

What's your favorite instrument?

Something you wanna do this summer?

Do you have a bucket list? And if you do, what's the thing you wanna do the most on it?

What songs always make you feel better?

What type of art do you enjoy making the most? (Drawing, knitting, writing, etc)

One of the best things you've ever bought?

What year of your life was your favorite, and why?

What color is your room painted? And what color do you want it to be painted, if you'd want to change it.

Are you really silly (really silly)?

Did you know that you have a pretty singing voice and I love listening to the stuff you make? And that it makes me really happy that you get really happy from me saying that?

Do you have a favorite scent, and if you do what is it?

My noise is so itchy right now. I hate having allergies to outside and dust lol. Do you have allergies too?

What's your favorite meal with chicken?

What's a weird collection you have/had?

What's your favorite sea creature?

Okay that's all for now!! Feel free to send these same ones or different ones back to me lol. I'm getting fishies todayyyy am very happy. Also I just gave my Grandma's dog Hermione a bath, so I now smell like wet dog. But it's okay. She had SO MUCH fur that needed to get off. She was shedding so much.

I keep trying to figure out somewhere to work around me thats not loud but. do you know how impossible that is. it's so bad. Like. Sensory issues suck

But it's okay

Because I'll be okay

I just want money cause I want a crested gecko lmao

But they're so cuteeeee!!!!

Okay this is me actually leaving (probably)

Bye Starsightttttttt

- Mysterious <3

OOOH QUESTIONS

[do I keep plants] Not really, but I keep flowers that people give me/are trinkets at fairs or smth. I have a dead one on my desk from a fair thingy that I totally need to throw away, and I have one in the freezer that was a gift from a fellow cast member of a play I was in. The one in the freezer still looks intact.

[what's my favorite instrument] Mysterious how am I supposed to answer this :( I play clarinet. I have an oboe that I'm trying to learn this summer, but I haven't been doing that a lot lol.

I have a list of instruments I want/want to learn. I used to play violin but I don't anymore bc we returned the violin and I would like to pick it up again. I'd also like to learn viola because it looks cool but apparently they have an entire different fucking clef?? called an alto clef??? like wtf why would they do that to me

I'd also like to learn saxophone. Either soprano, alto, or tenor, idrc. But it's a cool instrument. Id also like to play bass clarinet because it is literally the same as normal clarinet just Big. it's in the treble clef and everything. It's just Big clarinet. I would love to learn guitar. it seems like such an important piece for like background music on tracks and just. I wanna learn it. and its the most common thing that people use for chords. I have a piano that I fuck around with, but I don't know how to use chords and shit but I know how to play the shit out of the melody.

I also need to learn to read the bass clef. I played flute in 4th grade and I'd kind of like to play it again

that's a lot of words about instruments lol😅 idk what my favorite one is but I hope that was enough info to make up for it

OMG WAIT. KAZOO.

Also my dad wants me to learn piccolo. which is actually interesting

[smth I wanna do this summer] um. idk. well I wanna try to learn oboe, as said. OMG ALSO

So I have the goal of transcripting the life series and I wanna do that :] I'm failing so far but ITS ALRIGHT YKNOW I GOT TIME also I need to clear out my storage bc I have too much shit on my phone and 2 ipads (I don't have a laptop :()

[do I have a bucket list, and what's on it] uhhh not rly but I wanna meet you irl someday. also prolly go to Europe. Maybe also either Taiwan or China so I can improve my Chinese a lot. also I do wanna have a first kiss because like I'm intrigued. what does it feel like. OOH also I wanna write a full fledged story or smth. and a story in Mandarin Chinese. because like. you'd think I'd be fluent enough after ten fucking years but NOOOOO

also last night apparently I had a dream where an author (maybe Brandon fuckin Sanderson?? idk) wrote The Rescue Princesses and also was mentioned in the Aru Shah books like. what the fuck was that dream. it was weird ASF (I just saw the Aru Shah books on my shelf and I was Confused)

[what songs always make me feel better] okay okay okay. So. If William Gold wasn't a fucking piece of shit, Warsaw, Your Sister was Right, For Memories, Concrete, You'll Understand When You're Older. Not necessarily make me feel better, but like. resonate somewhere deep within my soul. As it is, I feel like throwing up when I hear his voice. Genuinely, acoustic Sex Sells came on a few days ago and I was like "oh nice it's a good song I can totally listen to it right" and then he started singing and then I like. couldn't it was so bad.

Someone to You by Banners. Just. it's so. sjqieowhads

Also In My Dreams by Precious Jewel Amor is really good

Honestly Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery. like one of my favorite songs. also I'm aware that most of these aren't rly happy--

STARLIGHT BY TAYLOR SWIFT. IT IS. A BOP.

[what art do I enjoy making the most] I like to crochet :) i also like drawing. one of my favorite mediums is oil pastels lol. But my favorite has to be crocheting bc I use it as a stim and also like. it makes warm things :D I tried to make a sweater and if you scroll to the second post I ever made on this blog I think you can find it lol. I'll continue it some day. ooh but I do also kind of enjoy writing. but I need to have the like brain flowing. which I almost never have. so my answer is still crocheting :D

[one of the best things I've ever bought] Tied between my Techno plushie ($40) and life series hoodie ($55). mcyt hyperfixation made me broke o7 but it was totally worth the money

[what year of my life was my favorite and why] damn idk. I don't rly have a favorite, but it's more. this happened. idk.

Probably 2021, if I had to say. It was 3rd Life, Among Us, me finding dsmp, just a ton of things and I started figuring more out about myself. pretty decent year. but this year (2023-2024) was also pretty good. I made a lot of friends

[what color is my room painted, and what would I like to change it to] okay. so. like AGES ago we were gonna paint my room. and we painted two walls. we got light blue on the east and marshmallow white on the west. the other walls (North and south) are painted VERY VERY light pink so light it is white. since that's the color my sister had. we were gonna paint the other window wall (north) blue and the non-window wall white (south) but it never happened. so now I have mismatched walls.

The blue is rly nice, but if I moved, I think I'd paint three walls light lavender, and one the marshmallow white.

purple is god tier

[am I really silly (really silly)] yes. sometimes. like inside my soul yes outside my soul not rly

[did you know

EDIT: I PRESSED SAVE DRAFT BUT APPARENTLY I PRESSED THE BUTTON TWICE AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT SORRY LOVE ILL ANSWER THE REST LATER

[dayundying]

can you tell us more about nort please im so curious about him :)

NANA I LOVE YOU YOU ARE MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Um um ok for starters his name is Nort, obvs! And it is just straight up his name, im sure in character, to Nort his name is meaningful and important but to me? Nort just struck my mind! Im pretty sure it was inspired by Norm from PaF which haha is fitting cause Nort is my owb poster child, robots!!! Haha. Although it also makes me sad because my first fallout oc was named Norman actually... but he wasnt named after norm he was named because he was a normal man ANYWAHS NOT IMPORTANT.

He uses solely he/him and basically ONLY presents masculinely but like ive SOMEWHAT expressed before he feels kind of weird about gender simply because well, human gender is so human and he really hates being human, he does not feel male at all, but defintely not female, im not sure if hed know the term nonbinary but its him and he would be it (nort LOVES transgenderism.)

The topic of how he feels about gender i think is a good segway to whatever he has going on in the sexuality department, i feel like hes defintely had relationships in the past and has and does feel attraction for other people but after the whole getting shot in the head nd getting to affirm his person and ideals he hates himself for feeling that, he hates all of his human desires and needs, he stuffs basically all of his feelings like so far down deep. So what he is with that label??? Agh idk lol. Hed loooooove to be nonbinary but he gives no shit to label anything else

Now! What IS up with his beliefs? Well at first I envisioned him as a avid transhumanist but then when i actually made him my idea for him as a nerd went out the window and he became totally tough and gruff, he still is a transhumanist and believes in it very much, but he is also incredibly survival of the fittest thinking if that makes sense (i want to say he believes in survivalism but i realized the actual definition of it sounds dumb.) I kind of think of it like this: he is incredibly trusting in machines and technology, but due to the wasteland being the way it is, he cant just be a robot like he very much wants to be, he cant have robot arms and put chips in his skin, he has to be the human he was born as, and eat and drink and fight, so yknow, he does.

Idk, hes barely 2 days old, hes still being developed, this stuff IS subject to change

But i am not done!!!

Deciding how my ocs feel about stuff is great, i will never skip out on explaining their opinions on factionsss <3

Hoof, looking them up, i realize theres more factions in nv then i thought there were...Ill get into his opinion on the more minor factions another time cause id TOTES love to, but i think right now the main stuff is supes important!

He LOVES mr house, er like, his politics wise, he sits and nods to everything he says and thinks because he simply completely agrees.

Thinks the ncr are some bunch of cowards, he does have a personal intrigue with how its set up though. Sometimes he daydreams about if he was in charge of all of the ncr, the changes hed make.

He doesnt think an independent new vegas would survive at all and does not support it. He simply believes itd just crumble and cave into itself !

Similar to how he feels about the ncr, he alsp has intrigue with the legion, but hates its lack of progressiveness and movement, i dont think he believes he could save it, just one of those things hell certain will just blow away into the sands of nevada, as weird history of that one time that happened.

[astranauticus]

ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ari<33 how was your day? how is it going? tell me tell me!! MY QUESTION IS what movies would be your movies with gojo n geto n shoko?? like something you're both always down to watch

i just thought about this bc i put jackass on for background noise (a totally normal thing to do i know) and i realized that jackass would absolutely be something me n gojo would bond over lmao i think he'd find it so funny and he'd react to everything sooo dramatically like he's crawling backwards over the couch he's gagging he's crying he's laughing and he will most definitely wanna fucking try some of the stunts............................ he's stupid and i love him

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY !!!!!!!! hihihi!!!!!!!!! so happy to see u here hehe. my day was good!!! 🌻🌻🌻 im trying to take advantage of my uni break to read and write a bunch!!! which is super fun :D i wanna check out more of ur stuff sometime soon too !!!!

what abt u mickey?? did u do anything fun??? i hope ur day was (or is!!) super duper lovely <33

AAAA AND. thats the cutest question ever im losing it im biting at the walls tysm for indulging my sashisu obsession….. this got long u have been warned ‼️

FIRST OF ALL i just wanna say i havent watched jackass so i cant comment as much as i want to 😔😔😔 bUT i trust u and agree w everything u say yep yep !!!! AND i 100% agree that gojo would do movie stunts w u THATS SO CUTE 😭😭 he would do the most complicated dangerous stunt just to impress u <333 and then break his ankle. and force u to nurse him back to health it was on purpose :/

ahhh but!!!! honestly mickey i dont watch as many movies as id like to……. (PLS GIVE ME RECS 🙏🙏🙏) i have some faves and genres that i love tho!! so here r just some general thoughts :3

gojo is canonically down to watch basically anything so i feel like we would hunt down the most awful/low quality/unintentionally hilarious movies we can n just lose it laughing. ALSO…. im not super into reality tv but i think gojo would LOVE that shit. obsessed w it. i would watch his silly little reality tv shows just to make him happy <333 i feel like he would have genuine beef w people on the show too PHDKDJD LIKE DAMN IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS… but it is. he’s out for blood.

….. also this is me being self indulgent lets be clear but: some part of me thinks gojo would love musicals <33 its the would-be theatre kid in him. i love and cherish the legally blonde musical and i know he would too. he sings along obnoxiously loud which would be super funny if he was tone deaf but sadly he has a beautiful voice LMAOO

NOW as for shoko …… she loves horror movies. loves them loves them. i think she’d actually prefer really bad horror movies though. bc she thinks the over-the-top effects are so funny… either way im suffering bc im a scaredy cat LOL. but i feel like she’d like that too <33 (i would cry and she would comfort me by explaining how splattered brains ACTUALLY look and that would make me cry more)

AH ALSO … i have literally no idea where this came from and its not a movie but!! i think shoko would be unreasonably obsessed w the office. its her hyperfixation. we would binge it together all the time <33 my favorite is michael but she would compare him to gojo (objectively correct comparison) and i would no longer be able to see him the same way

and then for sugu…….. he’s so pretentious mickey. i just know he is. ONLY watches good movies. if u ask nicely he’ll watch a bad movie w u but will silently judge it + ur taste the whole time i hate him. (i dont.) idk i just feel like he has way too much to say abt fight club and the godfather PSBDJBF TELL ME U SEE THE VISION…. will lowkey mainsplain them to u but its sugu so i think its fine <33

but jokes aside i think sugu just has Good taste. beyond the mainstream toxic man movies (and even w those i think he has genuinely good and interesting takes he’s simply Perfect)… i feel like he has a wide selection of lesser known movies that are actually really really good and he shares them w u <3 and gatekeeps them from everyone else im thinking like old monochrome french movies w really interesting plots …. indie gems …. etc etc.

but as i said im not knowledgeable abt movies at ALL so i think id just have to trust his taste n watch them w him 😭😭 i cant decide if he’s the type to pause the movie every two minutes to explain something or give u side eye if u talk while its playing PDBDJDJ EITHER WAY… i love him.

OH BUT BUT BUT …. i think sugu would love mystery movies a lot!!! and they r my favorites ever ever ever. i love knives out & the 2009 sherlock holmes movies so i would force him to watch them w me. thankfully theyre super good so we’d both be happy :) yeah.

if u pay attention while reading u can tell the exact moment i started getting carried away i think PDBDJD THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION MICKEY ….. so fun to think abt. if u have any more thoughts on what u and gojo would watch PLS tell me i am itching to know 🙏🙏🙏🙏