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offtopicoverload · 4 years ago

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What do you think the female lis’ families are like? I feel like only the guys talk about their families, with the exception being Talia talking about her parents and brother I don’t think any of the other girls do at all

hi anon thanks for the ask, hope my headcanons make sense

Talia:

pretty nuclear family, an older brother, her mum and her dad

her older brother’s maybe 4 years older or so, not enough that they never saw each other but enough that they didn’t really meet in school or anything

and that’s definitely why she meshes so well with the Jake even though they have like 6 years between them, shes used to the gap and hes really similar to her brother anyway, both goofy but sweet when they need to be

she definitely really close with her mother, i know its mentioned that they look just like each other, but i think that dialogues universal for the S1 LIs

and her mum owns a salon, right?

thats definitely why she takes such good care of her hair, her mother always did when she was little and encouraged it, complimenting her on it and styling it whenever she wanted

and she worked at the salon when she was a teenager and it was summer, working the front desk or cleaning up, sorting products, that sort of thing

its definitely a different story with her dad, hes pretty traditional and didnt take her coming out very well

it ruined things between them for a while and made it hard for her to visit, she only saw her brother at his place and her mother at the salon, but after LI, if shes with MC, he eases up a bit when he sees how happy they are

shes so open about her sexuality, especially on the show, because she doesn’t want any other kids to feel alone, she knows how much it sucked when she was a teenager

if she ends with MC, her mothers there at the finale and just showers MC in compliments and comments about wedding bells to mess with Talia

and her brother loves teaming up with MC and Jake to tease her

the first time he met Jake, Talia thought they’d get married on the spot cuz they just meshed so well

her dads wary at first, but once its clear that MCs not going anywhere, maybe he catches them talking about him or something and just being vulnerable with each other, which is something Talia never was with him, he starts welcoming MC more, buys her flowers or something the next time they visit and annoys Talia because he didnt get any for her

Allegra:

ive been headcanoning for a while that she has a really big family and an awful relationship with them

her parents got divorced when she was little, maybe 3 or 4, they both remarried, her mom got divorced and remarried again, so she has a ton of half and step siblings, but no full

because there were so many kids in whatever household she was staying in at the time she kinda got lost in the crowd, which is why shes so desperate for attention on the show, she never got any when she was younger

and no matter what happens on the show, her parents dont call her or come to the finale, the only person that says anything is the one step sibling shes close with

they're about the same age, maybe 8 months to a year apart, and were glued to each others side when they were tweens

but they live really far apart and her step sister couldn’t make it to the finale, so they barely see each other which makes them drift apart a bit

if MC runs away with her after the reunion, she gushes to her step sister and they get closer again, to the point that her sister moves in with her for a job a year or two later, maybe right before quarantine if MC doesn’t so they don’t go insane

MC and her sister get on well and always call her Leggy just to watch her get mad, and they’re the only two people that can get her to calm down when shes pissed, her anger being another side effect of being ignored as a kid

the only way she got attention was if she threw a fit, and eventually that frustration just stuck around

but she gets better when she gets closer with her sister again and after the backlash from the show dies down, which it does pretty quickly when her and MC announce their relationship since she was the fan favourite

she never really introduces MC to her family, it just doesn’t make sense to her, but MC drags her along to a few weddings and holiday parties until Allegra’s dad introduces himself to her like its the first time four events in a row

she gives up after that, and Allegra’s perfectly fine with it, she’d rather keep their relationship between them anyway

Marisol

like Talia, she has the same family dynamic - an older brother and her parents

but her brothers only a year older and their relationship is a lot tenser

her dad always encouraged competition between them - if one got a good mark on an exam, the other was expected to match or do even better, if her brother got an award, Marisol was expected to get it a year later, that sort of thing

she doesn’t really talk with her brother outside of formal or family events, there’s still a lot of tension from their teenage years between them, but Marisol’s too proud to admit it, and her brother is too

and she’d never admit it, but the whole reason she’s in law school is because her father wanted her to, and she was just lucky that she enjoyed it

and again, like Talia, her dad didnt take her attempt at coming out well, he just flat out denied it, told her she’d meet a nice guy and settle down, that is what just a phase, all that shit

neither her mother or brother stuck up for her, which pissed her off a bit and just made things worse

her mother was never that involved in her life, never seemed that interested unless she was getting perfect marks and competing in dance competitions

and because she was so focused on her studies and work, she never had many friends and has honestly always seen them as a waste of time

its why she has no problem shitting on Lottie’s girl code, to her it just never made sense

so most of her friends end up being from the show and MCs friends if they’re together, and shes not big on family events, her immediate family isn’t either

but she is really close to her abuela on her mum’s side and an older cousin on her dad’s who’s gay and shes always related to

she got really excited to introduce MC to them, and her abuela made a whole array of food for Marisol, MC, and her abuelo and her abuela cooed over MC for ages

her cousin bought them drinks and made them tell him stories from the Villa, and afterwards pulled Marisol aside and told her he was proud and approved of MC and it made her really mushy and she hated it, MC wouldn’t let go that she cried in the cab for ages

her brother and her mother were never particularly rude to MC, but her father definitely was cold and distant and disrespectful

she got pretty pissed after that, telling MC off for ever encouraging to go and shouting about why that kind of thing was the exact reason she kept her distance

her and MC definitely has some issues after that for a while, and she shut her dad out until he gave a halfhearted apology, but her cousin and abuelos helped her feel better about her family situation

Elisa:

her parents aren’t together anymore and her mum had custody of her most of her life, even though she struggled to raise her and her sister

she didnt know her dad that well until she was a in her late teens, but regardless of all the lost time, they still have a good relationship

makeup and art was an escape when she was younger, and even when her mother was exhausted after working multiple shifts, she always encouraged her and helped her improve or just told her she loved it

her mum was her biggest supporter when she started the whole influencer thing, and her favourite thing to spend her money on is things for her family, like flowers for when she visits her mum or a new phone for her younger sister

they’re seven years apart, so she never had that close of a relationship with her when she was young, because what 13 year old wants to hang out with their annoying 6 year old sister

but once she got a bit older she started taking her to the movies and shopping to bond and encouraging her own art

her sister loves music, and even if she cant relate to it directly, she always does her best to support her

she even got kassam to make her sister a mixtape after the show and give some tips on mixing, and if MCs a musician she always asks her to give her sister lessons or something

introducing MC to her whole family all at once was one of her favourite things to do, she took them all to dinner and bought MC a dress and everything

her parents loved MC and laughed at all her jokes, and MC nearly joked on her salad at a story her dad was telling

and even though her sister was pretty quiet, she told Elisa how much she liked her afterwards

they all start a family game night that is Elisa’s favourite thing to post about all week, and even though her parents haven’t been together since she was 7 or so, they still get on well and now that her dad’s more comfortable being there even though he’s not with her mum, hes more involved in her sisters life

her job and her Elisabees are crazy important to her, but she’d drop all of it for her family, even if she doesn’t seem super sappy

Lottie

shes an only child for sure, but with a few cousins shes decently close with

her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect by any means, but she still gets on with them

they encouraged her art even if they made some odd comments about her being alt that rubbed her the wrong way, but they mean well

there was a couple years where Lottie thought they’d get divorced, because they were arguing about finances cuz her mum went back to school and they lost her income, but when she started working as a nurse they were able to get back on track

her dad’s a bloke and loves sports and cars and all that, but hes also big in horror movies and is the one that introduced her to it

her mum hated all the gore, but her dad would let her watch it with him when she was out of the house

she always goes home for Christmas no matter where shes living, but has her own traditions for New Years and Easter

her aunt and uncle always host a big dinner and her dad drives two hours to get there, and she always spends the drive listening to new music and planning new makeup looks to test out

she has a ton of cousins because each of her parents has 4 siblings, but their ages are all so spread out that shes only close with a few of them and swaps stories from the year with three of them

they all lost their shit over MC when she brought her to their Christmas Eve dinner, hugging her way too much in Lottie’s opinion and telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could think of

her mum spent the car ride there trying to connect with MC, and they actually got on pretty well, but her dad seemed to click with MC even more for whatever reason, giving her a beer when they got back to Lottie’s parent’s house and turning on Lottie’s favourite slasher film for background noise while they talked

her dad made MC swear that she’d come back next year, that they weren’t allowed to trade between MC’s family for Christmas and Lottie’s, and MC agreed with a laugh as Lottie’s head was in her lap, watching the movie

Hannah:

she has a huge traditional family

three older brothers, two older sisters, and a younger brother

she grew up in the country and her mother had horses that she always loved to spend time with cuz i love her but she was 100% a horse girl

her parents never had any problems, were always happy and sappy and that was the only type of relationship she saw growing up, so before Love Island she didn’t really understand that relationships could be bad and how to deal with that

two of her older brothers and both of her sisters are married, her brothers and one sister have kids, again super traditional and happy, which only further reinforced these fairy tale ideals she has

she loves her nieces and nephews, but never felt like an aunt, more of an older cousin for whatever reason

her oldest sibling is her brother, they’re 13 years apart and he has four kids already, hes been married since 21

her oldest sister got married the oldest at 25, and shes always been worried she won’t match up to them, which was a huge motivator to go on Love Island

shes closest with her middle sister, who’s 23 with no kids, but she still has a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, still crazy nuclear

her whole life has been spent around this type of tradition, and it was really hard for her to break out of it after Love Island

Hannah’s youngest brother is still only 15, and hes a bit of a black sheep - hes alt and dyes his hair and draws tattoos on his arms during school, and she was never close with him before Love Island, but after she comes out as some kind of queer, he comes out as gay and nonbinary(he/they) and they get really close for once

he gets in a fight with their parents when they’re 17, and he runs to Hannah’s place, driving multiple hours to get there and moves in with her after a few weeks

they stay with her until they graduate uni with a degree in education, getting a job at a school and telling all their students that his sister was on Love Island and her girlfriend’s really cool

MC and him are her biggest encouragement to break from the mold her family set, both so her relationship can thrive and to be a good role model for her younger sibling

she struggles with fitting in with her stereotypical family and siblings that all have multiple kids and nice houses, but she still loves her little mishmash of MC, her sibling, and the constant friends that cycle through their flat - Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary sometimes even, Ibrahim once or twice as hes on a golf tour

Lottie loves her sibling and sometimes does makeup for them, and Chelsea always shows up unexpected to hang out with MC and redecorate their house but Hannah hates it because she likes all the memories her clutter has, even if MC calls her a hoarder sometimes

she had so many hand me downs growing up that now she has her own place, she loves filling it with things that are for her and MC and only them and has a really hard time letting go of things, always reasoning that they might give her inspiration to write or something

AJ:

shes an only child too, which made her dad treat her as much like as son as he could

her parents struggled to conceive, so once they used IVF to have her they didnt want to go through it again

her dad was super excited when she was interested in sports and is her biggest fan, always showing up to every single game and driving her to practices before she moved out, though she still doesn’t have a car cuz she hates driving, its too much pressure

her dad would watch games with her and coach her during off seasons, her uncles a football coach and used to get them tickets when he could, sometimes letting her train with his team when she was a teenager

her mum didnt like how hard she pushed herself, but was still supportive of how much she loved it

her mums a mathematician and always helped her with her homework because she awful at maths, while her dad would try and teach her history or edit papers until her mum had to step in and correct him

when she came out as bi and later gay, they didnt even bat an eye, her mum making her pride color cupcakes and her dad maybe even being excited that he could point out cheerleaders when they were watching games

her mum didn’t quite understand when she wanted to go on Love Island, but her dad thought it’d be a laugh and further enforced her “just have fun” attitude

but her parents are both crazy happy when she wins with MC, making a banner when AJ first brings her home

she thought her dad would crush MC when he started hugging her, and her mum made an entire cake, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and more sweets that she made them take home

her parents always make her and MC come over for dinner on Sundays and she started noticing the extra effort they always went to - her dad actually dressing nice, the house was super clean, the dog always had recently been given a bath

even though she knew her parents supported her, seeing all that really calmed her nerves about bringing home a girl, and made her coming out as a gay a lot easier

MC and her alternate between their family’s for holidays, and her parents each invite their brother and their families every time, and after their third holiday at her parents, they bought her and MC a dog

her and MC definitely have a pretty traditional family life, married after a few years with a nice house, going as far as to adopt a kid or two when AJ stops playing professionally, her parents always closely involved with their grandkids

Disclaimer - I don’t know if Yasmin or Lily make mentions of their family, so I’m just going with what I think

Yasmin:

her mother passed when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were raised by her dad

he wasn’t always the best dad, sometimes he struggled to make time for them with work, or sometimes he struggled to connect with them, but it was never anything too bad

she was always super close to her sister and parented her as she was growing up since they have a 9 year difference between them

her sisters her biggest fan and always makes her send demos and work in progresses so she can listen to them on repeat, and whenever Yasmin writes a song specifically for her she loses her mind

all her friends love Yasmin’s solo music and Enchanted Husband and she brags nonstop

Yasmin figured out she liked girls pretty young, around 10 or so, but only came out when she was 17. she didnt want her sister to ever feel alone or isolated if she ended up being queer too, so she tried to always be open about who she was

her dad sat her down when she bought a pride flag and had her explain everything to him step by step, and he gave her some space for a few days, but then he offered to take her to pride when it came around

he doesn’t talk about it with her much, and she knows he doesn’t fully understand, but he offers his support whenever he thinks she needs it

her sister absolutely fangirled over MC the first time she met her, hugging her and not letting go until Yasmin nearly pulled her off MC

her dad hugged her too but was far more reserved, hes quieter like her, and tends to keep his distance, whereas her sister has no problem shrieking and making a scene in a train station

later that night her dad pulls her aside and tells her he likes MC and thinks shes a good fit, and her sister has no problem saying how cool MC is, even when shes in the room

her sister and her dad always ask for tickets when shes touring nearby, and MC always offers to take them to dinner before the show, and the three of them get on better than Yasmin expected

she thought her dad might be too distant or her sister too excitable, but even if she’d never say anything, seeing them all get on makes things easier

when her sister gets older and moves out, their dad moves closer to Yasmin, even though he never says exactly why, and there’s a few years where her sister and her are both to busy to meet up, but MC makes them hang out together and then get dinner with their dad when their all in town

MC tends to be her reminder to slow down, and after that dinner she cancels the rest of her tour and takes a two year break in which her sister starts spending weekends at Yas and MCs, their dad visiting often too

Lily:

she has three full brothers and shes the only girl, her parents are divorced and her dad remarried while her mother stayed single

she has a step sister from her dad’s remarriage, but they dont have much in common and didnt grow up together, her parents only split when she was 15

two of her brothers are older than her and her oldest is the one shes closest with, with a gap of 7 years between them

hes an engineer and into cars too, he helped her fix up her first car and helped her pay for college

her youngest brother is only a year below her, but they were never close, he was never that interested in playing in the mud when they were kids

hes an art and english double major and still lives with their dad, hes closer with their step sister than Lily, but there’s no bad blood or anything

her other brother is a middle ground, three years older than her

he’s an accountant and used to drive her around before she could herself, they bonded over a few small mutual interests like a tv show they would binge together and just staring a space together since they shared a room, her younger brother and step sister across the hall

her dad wasn’t crazy active in her life and she doesn’t know her step mother, but her mum worked from home when she was younger and had custody on weekends

she babied her younger brother and always scolded Lily for being a tomboy and it bothered her a lot when she was little, until her older brother started encouraging it

her brothers all love MC, even her youngest, and they all try and bond with her in a different way

sometimes Lily goes home just to find a note that one of her brothers took MC to a movie or dinner or somewhere else, and she wants to be annoyed with them for it, but she likes the validation

she never officially came out, so none of them saying anything or criticizing her is really comforting, knowing that something so trivial doesn’t matter

her mum was a little shocked by the show and MC, but she tries to be polite and eventually comes around, inviting MC to go shopping to bond

her dad has no problem, her step mother being a little confused but not concerned, and her step sister doesn’t care, just nods at MC the first time she meets her

Lily tends to keep her distance from her family, especially when her older brothers find partners and start families, but is fine going to events, sometimes its nice to see her brothers and catch up

#can it kc #headcanons #litg talia #litg allegra #litg marisol #litg elisa #litg lottie #litg hannah #litg aj #litg yasmin #litg lily #asks

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muwur · 4 years ago

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idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡ “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡ “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial. You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal�� that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader angst #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader fluff #tw

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pinkykitten · 6 years ago

Text

The best date ever

Arthur Curry x female! reader

Warning: curse words

Specifics: fluff, romance, comedy, one-shot, pictures, gifs, race-neutral reader

People: arthur curry, you, diana prince

Words: 2,620

Requested: By @divaanya Hi!!! So about that sequel to The Old Man's Tale.. 😍😂 I'm not sure if you wanted specifics here or in submissions, so I'll put them here... I was thinking simply about them having that dinner, maybe Arthur picking her up in the morning, showing her around the town, then them eating and talking about her drawings and just fluff...😍😍😍 And I'd love to read anyting you feel like writing about them... And any other aquaman fics you come up with!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Authors Note: srry fam for not posting in a while, ive just been rlly stressed out lately with some personal things like my plate is so full. so pls fam be patient i am still writing just at a slow pace, i need to find a good time to write so im still working that out rn. i hope u guys like this, again srry my peeps! <3<3<3

“Oh my god,” you shouted as you quickly rose up from your slumber, remembering today was the day. “Crap! I have that date with,” you sigh. “My sexy hunk of a hero.”

At the speed of light you got ready, making sure you looked beautiful and glamorous for this date.

“Perfect,” you chuckled as you looked at yourself in the mirror, posing and modeling to yourself.

All of a sudden you heard a car’s horn beep from outside. You grabbed your things such as your sketchbook, your phone, the same things Arthur had saved. You open the door and there is standing Arthur with a bouquet of flowers.

“I found these and thought ‘hey they are beautiful’, and then I thought for a while ‘who could I give this to,’ and then I thought of you.” Arthur grinned from ear to ear, his personality seemed to beam and make the world a better place.

“Awww these are for me? Arthur they are extremely beautiful,” you stand on your tippy toes and give him a peck on his cheek. “Thank you! Let me find a vase for these.”

While you are putting the flowers away, Arthur stares at you from afar. You are truly a beauty. He can’t help but linger longer in looking at your curves, your body. The way the dress hugged you tightly, the curve of your butt. Your legs that to him looked better than even Diana Prince. The way you moved yourself about made Arthur like you more, made him want to understand you and get to know you more.

“You look really, really, really, pretty today y/n.”

You turn around, bashful and place the vase on a nearby table, “oh stop you! But thank you, you always look handsome yourself Curry. Whelp are you ready to go?”

“Ready as ready can get sweetheart,” Arthur opened the door for you. “But before we eat, how about I show you the best places around town?”

“I would really like that,” you smile as you take Arthur’s hand that he offered you and go to his car.

As Arthur’s driving a sweet melody of a tune is playing on the radio, making the morning relaxing.

“I can’t wait to see where you live! All the stuff you do daily, things that make you happy, stuff like that,” you smile as you wrap your tiny arm around his strong, muscled one. Arthur grins seeing how adorable you are and how interested you look at knowing about his home.

(ok but i love this gif because his smile is the bomb and the scrunchie is my life; sometimes i ask myself, how r we the same species?)

He gently holds your small hand and laces his thick fingers with yours. You peer up at him and see he is speaking about something the opposite way. Your heart beats vigorously, you are bashful and try to hear what he is talking about but you just stare at your two hands together, his and yours. They looked perfect as one, this meant something right?

“So what do you think, onto another sight?” Arthur asked, now his focus was on you. You fanned yourself and breathed harshly, “ooh is it me or is it extremely hot in here? Wooo, woah, ok, wow.”

“Y/n, its colder than an igloo in here, how in god’s name are you hot?”

“...menopause?”

Arthur chuckled, knowing exactly why you were like this. He knew it was about him holding your hand. He felt the way you tensed up when he did that, it made him for some reason happy. Happy to know that you were nervous around him because then you care about how he sees you, you care about his feelings.

“You look beautiful by the way sweetheart. You know what I don’t think there has ever been a day for you when you didn’t look beautiful.”

You swatted his way as you chuckled while rolling your eyes, “you’re too much Arthur Curry. Do you flirt with all your girls like this?”

“No...just you.”

Your eyes bugged wide open and you tried to change the subject. “What’s that place over there?”

“Oh that, that’s the ice skating rink. Its been there for like forever, its really fun. It may not look much but that’s where people just enjoy each others company, love birds, kids, teenagers, you name it, they go there.”

“That sounds so nice. Lovebirds you say though?” You raise your brow as your arm rests on the center console of the car. Arthur turns his head from the window to you and his head moves closer to yours. In a sultry, raspy, deep voice he says, “yeah many, many lovebirds go there. They dance around each other and sometimes get to touch.” Arthur comes closer and his lips almost go to yours, but then he stops. He smiles, “that means then we should go!” He gets out of the car so quickly you didn’t have a chance to think about what just happened.

“What!?!”

One minute you thought you were going to kiss this hunk of a merman and now he’s wanting to go ice skating, and you don’t even know how to ice skate! Then you realized, he was trying to play hard to get. He flirts and tries to kiss you and then he doesn’t! “Well, two can play it that game!” You thought in your head.

“Okay I should of told you this but Arthur...I can’t skate!” Your holding onto Arthur for dear life as you stand on the ice with the skates on.

“Well lets just practice a little, I’m gonna let go-

“No Arthur don’t you let go I swear if you let go I’m gonna punch you in the balls so hard that you’re gonna wish you were a woman, don’t you let go!”

“And when I let go y/n, lets see if you can skate on your own. Okay 1, 2, 3.” Arthur lets you go and pushes you forward to bring speed to you. You slide forward with a shriek as you can’t stop. As you’re about to fall to your death Arthur comes to the rescue and picks you up with ease. “Man, sweetheart I’ve already saved your life twice. I should get a reward.”

Arthur holds your hand as he practically guides you through on the ice. “Yeah you want to see your reward?” You smack his torso and shoulders but unfortunately with your size compared to his you didn’t really do much damage.

“Ouch what was that for?”

“What was that for? Arthur I nearly almost died...again! You pushed me you hot, idiot, jerk, stupid, guy!” You look straight up into his eyes with an angry face.

“So you think I’m hot?” Arthur comes closer to you.

You try to slide back but you trip and that makes Arthur strong hands go to your back, near your butt and bring you closer to his body. “I never said a thing like that.”

Arthur’s handsome face gets closer with yours and his body is touching your body, tightly pressed together. “I think you did, I know you did.”

You look away as you put your hands up. His lips go to your ear, “don’t worry y/n, I think I’m hot as well.”

Your face becomes annoyed as you shove his face away from you and roll your eyes. “Haha, good one.” You say sarcastically as his laughter booms loudly. He laughed so hard he had to wipe a tear. “Was it really that funny Arthur?”

Arthur nods, “oh yeah definitely. You should of seen your face!”

“HAHAHAHAHA WELL YOU SHOULD OF FELT YOUR JUNK, CUZ IT WAS GIVING A STANDING OVATION!” You then laugh really hard at your joke and pretend to wipe a tear. You see Arthur’s face as he gives you a death glare. You chuckle some more as he skates towards you. He wraps his hand in yours and you two skate like normal people do, or how the lovebirds do.

It was actually really romantic.

“There you go sweetheart, just like that.” You actually were skating correctly, of course holding for dear life onto Arthur, but still you did it. You were skating smoothly, almost perfectly.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing it!” You smiled up at Arthur, your smile beaming. This made Arthur happy and his heart pound. He couldn’t focus on anything except you, the way you looked up at him. You looked like a goddess, like his whole life revolved around you. Like you were meant to be his, and he was meant to be yours.

“Arthur, Arthur, Arthur! We’re gonna crash!”

As soon as you said that you and him crashed into the wall. Before your body could hit the cold, harsh ice, Arthur fell on his back but caught you just in time.

“Oh my! Arthur are you okay?” You felt yourself being carried and laid, on your stomach, on his chest. His eyes were shut, so you shook him and tried to get him to wake up. “Arthur please wake up! Are you okay?”

You were starting to get worried that he hurt himself badly until he woke up. “Did I scare you?”

You smacked his face a couple of times, “Are you serious? Yes you scared me Arthur! I thought you were hurt. C’mon lets go somewhere to eat because I am starving.”

Arthur got up with your help and placed his hand on your hip as you two walked to the car. “Hey, thanks for worrying about me.” Arthur bent down and kissed your cheek, then he walked to his car leaving you all bashful.

“I swear this boy,” you muttered.

You two ended up deciding to go to a pizza restaurant. (if u dont like pizza then u r cursed and have sinned because pizza is a gift from god)

As you walked in the smell was good! It smelled delicious! Your stomach growled at the thought of fresh, hot pizza.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting. We could of gotten food sooner.” Arthur looked at the menu by the cashier. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder. If no one knew it, it looked as if you two were a couple.

Suddenly Arthur stomach growls. “Well if you were hungry Arthur, we could of gotten some food.”

Arthur puts his hair in a man bun with his light pink scrunchie, you could tell he was embarrassed. “I didn’t want to interrupt you having fun on the ice.”

You stood on your tippy toes and kissed Arthur’s cheek, “thank you, that was really sweet of you.”

After you two bought the pizza, you guys sat at the booth by the window.

“This looks so good! I’m starving!”

“Well y/n, bon appetit!”

You ate like you haven’t eaten in years, the pizza was so perfect and so delicious in your mouth. The atmosphere was perfect. Jazz music was playing in the background, there were not too many people there but enough to hear talking. It was gloomy looking outside since it was so cold. You took your coat off and placed it next to you.

“So I saw your sketchbook, what do you draw?” Arthur asked, taking a gigantic bite out of his Hawaiian pizza.

“Oh pretty much everything. Yeah, I like to draw animals, settings, but mostly people. I mean I love art but sketching and drawing is my passion, it lets me vent as much as possible. I just think about life when I draw. Think about how I want to better my life, how to better me.” You find yourself getting off the discussion. “Sorry, I’m talking too much aren’t I?”

Arthur placed his hand on yours and smiled, “not at all. Please continue.”

“I wanted to get away from my day to day life. Sometimes doing the same thing over and over, day by day can be such a bore and honestly tiresome. That’s why I needed to come here. I wanted to experience a place like never before, and also encourage myself to draw more.”

“Well I’m glad you made that decision to come here, if you hand’t then I would not have met you.”

“Thank you Arthur.”

“Can I see your drawings?”

You started choking on your piece of pizza, “what? You mean like mine, my drawing as in my own, like mine?”

“I’m pretty sure mine means that.”

You chuckled and scratched the back of your head, “I don’t know Arthur, they’re not that good.”

Arthur gave you a wink, “c’mon y/n, I know they’ll look amazing.”

You pull out your sketchbook from your bag and hand it to him.

“Wow y/n,” was all he said as he was mesmerized, captivated by your art. “You are incredible y/n, just incredible! I’m speechless with how you draw.”

“Thanks, it feels good to have someone important say such great things about them.”

Arthur almost turns to the page you don’t want him to see. “Um don’t see that drawing.”

Arthur raises his brow, “why not?”

“Because it has something personal on there.” You try to grab it but Arthur is too quick and moves it away from you. “Give it back Arthur!”

“Wait! I want to see what it is.” As he says this he turns the page to show a drawing of him.

You feel hot and so embarrassed. Your hands become so sweaty and your heart pounds. Will he think your drawing is weird or stupid?

“Y/n, this is so beautiful. I can’t believe you drew me.” Arthur was baffled at your gift. Just from seeing him in a short time you sketched him out like you knew him for many years. You got each curve and each detail of his face and body.

“I studied your face long and hard when you picked me up. I had to draw out my hero.”

Arthur’s smile made you fall more in love with him. “I’m sorry if me drawing you was weird. I can just get rid of it when I go back to my cabin.”

“No! Please y/n, don’t. Please don’t get rid of this amazing drawing. Hel* I wish I could draw you, but not even a dam* drawing would show and describe how beautiful you are, not words not art, nothing. You are so frickin gorgeous and sweet y/n, you really are.” Next thing you knew Arthur got up and sat next to you in the booth. Feeling shy you backed away in the booth but this just made Arthur get extremely closer to you. His wild blue eyes were half lidded as he was overpowered with love and lust for you, and to be honest so were you. Arthur came closer and closer to you until his huge body trapped your tiny, fragile one against the wall. “I so wanna kiss you right now,” breathed out Arthur, rubbing delicately your cheek.

“I wanna kiss you so bad too,” you said in a whisper, looking directly at Arthur’s plump lips. Without no hesitation Arthur’s lips crashed on yours. You two didn’t care who was watching or who was there. This kiss was needed. Arthur’s tongue slipped in your mouth in one swift movement, but just as quick as it went in it went out. He was teasing you! He was showing you what was to come if you two spent the night in a sexual escapade. You two made out a few more seconds until you and him separated to catch your breaths. He leaned his forehead against yours, “boy am I glad you decided to come here for your vacation.”

You chuckled and touched Arthur’s facial hair, “me too Arthur. Me too.”

Tag List: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @dreamsofwhiteandblack, @hyehoney, @wtfisalltherandoms, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag) , @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @polyglot-t, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @collectiveyou, @divaanya

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castlehead · 7 years ago

Text

beauty seems to be really funny most of the time and i like dat.

this idea that sends pop definitions of beauty running for the hills makes for some

quality distance, if only one step back.

what if i had any idea who i was but could see into everybody else

phone home cheeky cosmic touch m8 gonna think this is too easy

yeah but not let’s feel this way without before examining ourselves

for anything fake about it first parting from the idea that there wasnt anyway

and then parting cuz that knows so much

that part of me knows so much abt what do you call it extreme fear of maudlin

i run naked thru the grass singing abt yesteryear

...There’s a move in social situations I like to call, “around the sun” whereby you wait for the game to end to play music, or wait patiently for one plan of another to say its peace so you can say yours. I like to take it to a more extreme level and say, turn down the fuckin tv, I want to listen to a thing I find beautiful.

SONG ONE : like the earth

1. Sit back and dream of clouded metaphors Reveal the schemes that we devised Back in the day, when ur hands were small And the WORLD splayed out colorfully Before our eyes

(chorus)

Take ur thronging bussloads of the living dead Take all the lifetimes of a million busy heads Ur sly intellectuals that laugh in the dome The only place, the only place is in the peaceful tones Of singing birds perched on ascending wires, like notes

2. Caught u up past three, sitting on the porch I woke up from a dream that I immediately forgot That seems to happen a lot, especially if previously I torched a dutch and passed the fuck out But from the ether of my dreams I heard, from the scope of reality I heard you shout

(chorus)

3. The sun and the moon both live in a box And the box is a square made out of lead And the square lies motionless in ur head Like a body on the rocks

Watch the hour tuck away into an evening A day nestled in afternoon light From the beginning In ur mind that made all minds the same The twilight creeping across ur paper brain And I can only burn and burn and burn

And I can turn round like the EARTH And I can be a sphere like the EARTH And I can stitch up the nations With fear, like the EARTH

(chorus)

...people who call it a false flag just don’t wanna think it’s their own who bomb, if it can’t be a towelhead.

SONG TEW : the rainbow

The sinister rainbow blinks over the clover And the dawn is a monster in my brain I'll take a picture before this song is over And I’ll fix u in a wheel to keep me sane

Don’t break out the gin for the old lady creepers Smoke until the blur makes ur head float around I live in hades, burn my tongue on the heater When I lick this heaven ill taste yur sound

(chorus)

What Im saying isnt deep What Im stealing isnt cheap But I know that if i play it loud and long That this song in my head will instead Form a beat

Like a stranger in the rain Slowly driving me insane There's a fork in the road And I dont know whether Or when, all this shit will come together In the end

2. I got a stupid friend who lives in a pause He takes life from the tiger’s jaws, and prays

That life begins again, after it is over And the rainbow shines like a dream, in a daze

Ill take u thru the eye of the needle Ill breathe a testament to ur false gods Ill tell the truth, and contaminate the evil And zap u like a lightning rod

(chorus)

3. Dont you know that the rainbow is the world? Dont you know that the news is already told? Im gettin too old to be unfurled Im seein the rainbow in my mind Im waking up for the daily grind Im singing useless things for useful people The rainbow is not evil, its kind Dont u know that the color kings rattle like a marble In a tin can? And the rainbow eats the darkness like a mother Without a son? Dont u know that u can never be a man? And the rainbow drags across the empty land And the rainbow drags across the empty land

(chorus) (chorus)

...the only division is classical and romantic. all else is contributory to these two. postmodern, modern, no. romantic. it all follows the romantic objective. one is ruled by the time at which it occurred, and the other is ruled by the mechanism of breaking from any present time.

SONG THREE : an ending that promises to begin again

1. A legend sleeps in yur head somewhere You take yur trembling hands And grope for mine, like a bum for spare Change... You cant explain

This strange perdition that engulfs Yur position in the sane... And the trouble of the pulse That leads a broken synapse Up into my eccentric brain... Theres a clot in my neck And the ruins of time Keep me from being able to find A comfortable spot to rest

(chorus)

Im stuck in erasure--a constant exposure To the elements still provides me with eyes To see bad karma writhing in my spleen And I wonder if ill dream While the whole WORLD is awake Will I be the manufactured figure, Will I be fake?

Or will I take these petty abstractions And roll them up into a ball And put them in my pocket Just to feel the reason stall In my throat... Is life a puzzle, or a joke?

2. The life you led one sunny afternoon Is the life you never led again... I can appreciate the reasons For why you did not blend Like a chameleon in the room But cant discern the seasons Of the moon

Yur whispers prosper, loud Like a passionate apostle And the lords are proud of ur Painting on the wall... That skritter of an evening gone Is enough to scatter colors When the sky finally falls, And the lords are like the brothers Of what lorded over them... Take these idols and shatter them... The racket in my brain is loud And does not end And does not end And does not end, even when the jig is up Cuz ive gotten fucked by time: Its an ending that promises To begin again

(chorus)

...Nobody starts an Apollonian, and only those are Dionysian who have the capacity for restraint needed to confer the Apollonian chariot, tho some die without a revision of the vision etc. some die restraintless

SONG FOUR : chauncey ames and the case of jenny preston

1. Chauncey loved the flowers Chauncey loved the trees Chauncey smelled the wind And knew that he was free

Chauncey took a cab home Chauncey felt the air flow Thru the window He paid the driver extra Just for keeping him From being alone... Back, once again To the place that he had left Long ago

In fact, it had been years and years and years Since the man had seen walls Not fortified in concrete... In fact, it had been years and years and years Since this man had put to rest That lying cheat

(chorus)

Chauncey was a killer That was his disease Got off on manslaughter: Fingerprints on a pair keys Got him twelve years For offing someone's daughter Even tho she was eighty three Cuz no matter how old u are Everyone Is a daughter or son To someone

2. Now he's out, but he has his fears... Maybe people will not like him For his past It is unclear Even after all the facts Had been presented... Whether Jenny Preston Was murdered, or just had a bad fall Onto a bed of broken glass They found her in the hall At the head of the stairs, flat on her wrinkled ass

(chorus)

Chauncey was a man of few words But in the end he was unheard His eyes were petrified In delirium His arms shook As he held the gun He took aim On the good book Instead of his brains just to prove a point His neck is craned His eyes like coins That shine their milky matter On the barrel of a luger

(Chorus)

...doubt any of y'all would live up to the wit/confidence/sardonicism y'all judiciously sculpt for hours on the book of face.

SONG FYVE: my summer home

1. This is food for thought Write it down in chalk: The chimney puffs From the fire in the fireplace And erupts in a black plume And with luck The old man Balances a spoon On his nose He sits inside a room As the room grows Smoking from a pipe While its raining outside And the light Is waning, slowly waning, outside

My fingers and my toes Are numb to the bone And I will have my wish To swim with all the fish In the sea of my mind In time ill find A little spot in the country Somewhere peaceful and secluded Ill save up all my money And hope im not deluded And hope that I can find a place Thats nice, a lush spot For a good price

(Chorus) Do you feel that I feel you? Do you feel that you feel me? The time is right to live again To let the atoms wiggle In our spherical galaxy That seems to have no real end But the one that we assume Is reality, and soon We'll eat up all the doom

2. Concentrate upon a single understanding Dont let the sisters on the throne Rage in the dome And find out that this trip Needs more planning to exist

The sky is silver and the universe is green Ill show you things in this world That you have never seen Things that have been waiting So long to be unfurled Things for boys and things for girls Without an explanation Ill bring the nation together And hold it by a tether Show you things for boys And things for girls

(Chorus)

...for example i would never be able to muster the cognitive stones to say all of this, in order, amongst the company of people, even friends

SONG SIX : notion

#1 im in the middle of this phrase Stuck between the lines Bless these simple chains I'll see what I can find In my simple mind To lead to some way out The drip, drip drip of water From the trippy rusty spout Keeps me awake I'll explain that to ur daughter The world is fake The world is miles away:

Chorus: Put a notion on the river And see it travel downsteam Suspended on liquid creature dreams I sweated thru the fever And, between the middle of this phrase Passed all my days in solitude And grew weaker, as the days Passed on in solitude

You can call me daft You can say im frozen In technicolor time That im stranded on an island In the middle of the ocean But I dont have the spine To wiggle thru the shaft And give you back This simple notion

#2 I gots a paper boat Lofting on the water It travels down ur purple throat And dissolves in the water

I set a fire just to see if it could think And I questioned the venom Just to see if it could blink Nonsense on the edge Of the bullshit day Chillin on the ledge, you shape the clay And drive the screws on down And drive the screws on down

I thought of you, thought of you And I felt like a clown

(chorus)

#3 I crawl out, I crawl out I crawl out of bed I walk down the hall To turn the notion into thread And whisper rumors to the dead Sometimes I try to talk And my voice drops Sometimes the vague paralysis Defies analysis And you are left sitting on a chair In a yellow room That is a technicolor tomb Without a door, confined and spare, I crawl, I crawl I crawl out of bed And walk down the hall And fall and fall and fall Into the creation of sound Until I hit the ground And everything is mother night And the imperfections in yur eye Spangle in the strange notion of the twilight

(chorus) (chorus)

...the broad concept of subjectivity has as much to do with a detailed exegesis of one tenet of it as death itself with the specific way we die

SONG SEVEN : collected and connected

You're a sharp one You're a dumb one You got nobody But the people in yur head

And everybody is connected But you aint connected to them Yur a ghost, on the interim While the fringes die out You live them out To the last splinter Until it is winter And the trees are all white with snow And the blue wind blows

Yu spend twenty minutes Feeling for the lightswitch In a room made out of figments That you shovel into a ditch And bury, along with all yur Dangerous ambitions And as you drive away, you feel The religion Of yur memories corrupt u And yu reel

CHORUS. Cuz everyones connected Everyones collected Into the same intangible organism That lives life in the schism Of ur teeth I watch ur lips move And cannot hear u speak I pick up on the clues and watch the pressure leak Until all of it is used And nothing much is left To be abused

Everyones connected by a string That trembles across the space Of every living thing The fractions of my face illuminate in the light I shake when i sing I am a yellow kite Mangled in a tree Forgotten by the breeze I am a thing, wafting in the breeze But I have begun again, my friend, Just by following the string Follow, follow the string

#2 Two days ago the WORLD was made of angles I opened my eyes to the lost ways And came upon a shallow swale The brush and branches tangled And the rays of the sun, barely Coming thru the jail Of the scary fray

Dont you think that yur fellow men Would like to lend a hand? And dont you think That this desert you have crossed Only gets u more lost Until u arrive at the brink Of the sahara, and find A single, solitary house Where a mumbling old man Is confined

(CHORUS) (CHORUS)

i always dress nice when i have no place to go. otherwise i look like a sweaty coked up hobo. its my chic, paranoid hobo chic. my comportment u say? quirky to the acquaintance, somewhat sad to the friend, an endearing mix of both with a dash of worry to the best friend, and an embarrassment to the significant other. im usually the life of the party bc i bring drugs so people are forced to tolerate my horror of a personality.

rejection is a rare and beautiful flower my time is spent tending it my life wants it to be a gift i water the flower it sits next to my bed it is next to a lamp littered under the lamp are dead ladybugs ladybugs are all over my house but if i am not meant i am not meant and i cast my line of poetry here trying to figure out if it was meant to be there wonder exactly why what is innumerable can be rare and think of lots of things

#poetry #powtry #pome #poem #collage #hodgebodge #zibaldone #desiderata #song lyrics #stuff

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pokefanbri · 4 years ago

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I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤

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roccoroks · 7 years ago

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VOLUME 5 DAG POST SO ANOTHER ROD RUN HAS COME AND GONE AND IT HAS LEFT ME IN THE WAKE OF DISGRUNTELED GUEST OVER PARKING , ROOMS WITH BROKEN REFRIDGERATORS AND SEVERAL LOST ITEMS IN NEED OF BEING RETURNED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS. SEVERAL THINGS HAPPENED THIS TIME AND I WILL TRY AND KEEP THINGS AS STRAIGHT AS MACH STYLES SEXUAL ORIENTAION SO BARE WITH ME! It was your typical rod run this spring in that there were classic cars as far as the eye could see, toilets were overflowing with the stench of nearly dead guests last dinners from the golden coral and I for the first time in 3 years had the day off to enjoy ………at work……even in my down time I have to come here….sux. The time is 4:30 pm, it officially hawt as bawls outside and im watching the desk while my new manager “monty” dips out for a bite to eat. The door opens and im faced with a loud, demanding, hateful women from PA….so a normal woman from PA….who is mad about parking. Me: *gee, I really hope the next 30 mins goes smoo….. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL! IT REEKS OF BITCH!* CLAB: *Crazy Loud Ass Bitch* umm….theres a man outside that’s saying that if I don’t move my car then he will have it towed or he will park his truck in front of it until Monday and called me a bitch……(ME: honestly I stopped paying attention to her at this point)……or im going to call the cops. Me: *fuck you karam, just because I like to rub vasoline all over my butt cheeks and press it against businesses plate glass windows in downtown under the cover of darkness, I have to deal with this?* CLAB: so…..what are you going to do about it? Im paying 175.00 a night and I feel I should beable to park where ever I want! Me: *you are the same bitch from last year aren’t you…* mam im really sorry about this but during the rod run we have over 5000 people and cars come into town and parking can get a bit limited. CLAB: WELL DON’T YOU THINK THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM? Me: *oooooooh so we are going to go down this long road of stupidity?* like I said, mam, parking can get a bit hectic during these shows and we expect everyone to govern them selfs. CLAB: look you NEED to go out there and talk to this man or im going to report you to your manager. Me: *ah hellnah! Bitch you did not just…….. >.> i cant believe you just...how dare.....i may pee on you* Me: ok, lets go *get this over with* *we both walk out to the parking lot where im am greeted buy a mid 40’s male who knows me from years of rod runs and he seems to have been drinking and is in no mood for this ladies bullshit, I know because he says so in this dialog ^.^ * CLAB: this is the guy that spoke to me like I was trash Me: *because you do infact smell of a garbage bag filled with diapers that someone threw up on and set on fire....because thats what bitch smells like* DD: *drunk dude* look I never said any of that shit to you, your just making it up Me: but we haven’t even discussed what you said yet….never mind, look, why is it a problem for her to be parked here CLAB: *interrupts* oh there’s no problem, he just wants this parking spot to himself DD: look, my tools are in my truck and I need to work on my car and I don’t want to have to walk across the parking lot to get my tools every 5 mins Me: *and a long stager it must be 25 feet away! Beside, had you bought a ford instead of that rolling shit box you call a nova that’s more rust that nova, this wouldn’t be a problem* CLAB: that’s not my problem , I need a parking spot and this one was open Me: *5 points to bitchindore!* DD: MY GD CHAIRS WHERE IN THIS SPOT SAVING THEM FOR ME AND YOU JUST…..JUST…..MOVED THEM! LIKE THEY WERE NUTHIN! Me : *shee-took-yur-churrrs! * CLAB: well they were in the way! DD: iv had just about enough of your shit! ME: HO HO HO HO HO HANG ON A MIN! *yelling louder that both of them to convey my point* NOW LOOK, last year I put up two signs and handed out two flyers to ALL of my guests, including you, that 1. Trailers are no longer to be parked on site and 2. That chairs could no longer be used to save parking spots, meaning first come, first park no exceptions! DD:…….. I forgot about that, you did do that CLAB: *shoots a look of “take that bitch” Me: *looks at clab* I also told you on Tuesday when you checked in that this would happen with parking and that you would need to get a spot early to AVIOD THIS! CLAB: I don’t think that’s my problem do you? Me: *omfg if you say that one more motherfucking time* YES, yes it is your problem when I looked right at you and warned you this would happen and you ignored it! Is like I said “hey this coffee is hot, don’t pour it all over your face ok” and you did it anyway and couldn’t figure out why it hurt. CLAB: I just don’t see how this is my problem Me: * o.e there is a special place in hell for people like you! Its called florida* I honestly don’t know what to say. DD: I don’t know why this is such a problem, I mean there is a perfectly good spot open right over there by the pool doors, its closer too. Me: * O.e…..did I just hear a loud pop sound in my head? Why is everything starting to get shaky and I smell burning hair….am I having a aneurism?* did….you just? Surely you did say there is a parking spot right over there….right? DD: yeah, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about! *crosses arms and looks proud of him self CLAB: I don’t want that parking spot I want this one! Me: …….. *looks at both of them in disgust* so what’s wrong then? *both look at me like im a idiot* Me: *clearly im dealing with creatures with undeveloped brains not unlike that of a 5 year old or a form of mild cheese. I may have to get the speak and spell out for them* look, I should be in my office answering the phone and booking reservations for tomorrow night, instead im out here dealing with 2 12 year olds who are fighting over who gets to ride the tricycle next. There is a perfectly good spot right over there that either one of you could park in, its close to the hotel, and its close to your car so THERE IS NO PROBLEM. You two just wanted to be validated in what you both thought was right in your list of personal self-ethics and came and got me, someone half both of your ages to settle your squabble instead of acting like adults! CLAB: who’s your manager, ill have you fired for this! DD: …..mam, this young man is the owner. CLAB: *looks at me* WHY DON’T YOU TELL HIM TO APPOLGISE (or how ever its spelled) TO ME THEN! Me: *really….you are no longer mild cheese, im down grading you to Mexican! (yup, going to hell for that one)* because you started this! You both can’t act like adults and neither one of you deserves it! Look if I have to come back out here and deal with this again, you will both be looking for a lot more than a parking spot for the night! *walks off like a boss!* Meanwhile back in the halls of ‘’fort phone ringing the fuck off the wall’’, I have 12 people trying to call me at the same time Me: good afternoon RSML, how may I help you Dag: umm….yeah….um…hi…um like how much like…you know ….your Me: *come on you can do it* Dag: um….like your 2 room bed suites are? Me: *in what way was that even a fucking sentence….* when are you coming in? Dag: um….. like……you know….that time….next month? Me: hummmmmm that time next month….. Dag: oh! Um….yeah you know….like Saturday? Me: ok getting closer, we narrowed it day to 5 days instead of 31 Dag: oh, um….you like….. Me: *oh for fuck sake* *begins trying to pull my hair out and presses the phone harder to my ear out of frustration* Dag: like…that one Saturday that everyone's coming in? Me: 199.95 +tax Dag: wow that much? Me: *oh now you speak coherently* yes sir Dag: for which Saturday? Me: um like…you know...um...all of them Dag: *hangs up phone* Me: and a fine fuck you to you too sir *hangs up phone and turns around to see a family of 5 behind me* Me: how may I help you? FO5: we will just check somewhere else *walks out the door* Me: normally this would be bad but we are full soo……fuck em…. Monty: *from the back office* you should be nicer, they might have come back Me: really ass, you were back there the whole time and you couldn’t come to help me? Monty: I have a ham sandwich, this take precedent over pot heads asking about rates Me: you know I can fire you right Monty: you wont though Me: ……mother of fuck…..bitch called my bluff Few mins go by and im about to head out for the night when a man that I can only describe as so old that he may have known jesus on a personal level. Me: good after noon, how may I help you? *20 mins later he makes it to the desk* Old Dude: (we will call him OG cuz he gansta!) do you have anyrooms? Me: yes sir ! I have 2 br suites available *maybe this is a cool old dude and my night is turning around for the good* OG: oh good, what that Me: *ah you’re a crazy old man* well that’s our trademark room with 2 queen size beds! OGh I need 2 rooms with 2 beds in each room Me: well I have 2 2bed room suites side by side if that will work for ya? OG: no no no, I only need 4 beds not 8 Me….um…k….well if you get two of our 2 bed room suites then it would accommodate you that would give you 1 queen per bedroom OG: no no no then I would only have 2 beds, I need 4 *he is getting a bit angry…..or tired….or both, idk, hes old and hard to read* Me: I know sir but 1 of our 2br suites will have 2 queen beds OGh ok so that’s 1 room with 4 beds total right? Me: *O.e…wooooooooooooooow….* no sir that’s 2 beds total per room OG I know giving me 4 beds total right? Me: yes….wait no…what? OG: do you even have rooms with 4 beds/ Me: no sir OG: do you have 2 rooms? Me: yes OG: how many beds do they have Me: 2 per rooms OG: so you do have 4 beds per room? Me: whos on first? OG: what? Me: no whats on second, do you want a key so you can look at one of the rooms? OG: yes….wait, what? Me:...here…..*grabs pen and paper* OG: oh….nevermind, that’s not what im looking for ME: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU /RANT . . . . . . . . OR IS IT……

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legion1993 · 7 years ago

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The Engaged To Wed, The Veil Torn Thin To Reveal More

A/N: thank you everyone for inspiring me to keep going with this challenge. Ive done all the weeks and im so proud to bring you Week 19 of the SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge brought to us each week by the lovely @thing-you-do-with-that-thing. This is gonna be a sequal to my week 7 fic as always ignore any spelling/grammer errors and keep on smiling.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Prompt: PROMPT 1 (Dialouge prompt): ”It’s just you and me tonight. We can do whatever we want.“ PROMPT 2 (Au/Trope): Damsel not in distress and ends up saving the day

Plot: its been almost 2 weeks since your betrothed came back from the dead. You thought it a miracle and while you perceived everything to be ok, you had no idea something worse was a drift.

part 1

Sam and Bobby left the house for a while to give you and Dean some privacy. Not that you and Dean cared. As he kissed you and as his hands roamed your body, you moaned, throwing your head back. You knew what he wanted, and now you knew it was what you wanted as well.

Dean had been so patient in waiting, so you made up your mind that tonight would be the night. You stepped back from Dean briefly and removed your clothes, slowly, watching his eyes grow hungry with lust and desire. He removed his clothes then, never taking his eyes off you. As he took you in his arms and lowered you gently to the bed, He asked,

Dean: "Are you sure about this? Once we do this it can't be undone."

You felt a teardrop fall as you cupped his face whispering,

Y/N: "I lost you once. I never got to have you in this way, and I felt empty inside, like a piece of me was missing. I love you Dean. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want this, now."

Dean's lean muscular body covered yours, his hard member settling between your legs, pressing against your entrance.

Y/N: "Do it!"

You said, looking into Dean's eyes. He nodded as if understanding and captured your mouth in a deep hard kiss. As he did so he pushed his way inside you, past the barrier of your innocence and waited, letting your body adjust to this new feeling.

His kiss became even more demanding causing you to become more wet and aroused, which allowed for easier motion as he began to move inside you. You began to notice new feelings of pleasure and arousal and your moans became louder.

Dean, turned on by the louder moans of desire moved in and out faster, as if the world was going to end. Your cries became more intense as you felt your first climax happen. Dean followed close behind, emitting a low growl as he came, spilling his seed inside you. He collapsed on top of you, and for what seemed like an eternity, you just stayed like that, holding each other close.

Sometime later, Sam came knocking on the door but thankfully did not open it.

You and Dean nearly jump out of your skin at the banging on the door. Scrambling for covers and clothing Dean manages to ask who it is. Blushing furiously you rush into your now wrinkled clothing as Dean finally opens the door.

Sam looks at Dean, currently shirtless, then at you, then chuckles in amusement. You look down and realize your shirt is on backwards and inside out. Dean ushers a still laughing Sam out of the room and closes the door so you can fix your shirt. Once you are presentable and your hair is brushed, you come out of the room and walk over to Sam, who is still wearing an amused smile on his face. You punch him slightly hard in the arm with a playful smile on your face as you say,

Y/N: "If you say anything to anyone I will knock your teeth out."

Dean bursts out in full laughter as does Bobby. Sam, rubbing his now bruised arm, joins in the merriment. He looks up at you and says,

Sam: "I have no doubt that you could YN. Don't worry I got your back partner."

Winking as he says that. While Dean was gone you and Sam spent alot of time hunting together. He was like a brother to you, helping you, teaching you to fight, and training you about different monsters. He began calling you 'partner' as an endearment and it just kinda stuck.

Heading to the kitchen to make food for everyone You smile to yourself. You finally feel whole again with Dean back in your life and having now consummated the love you felt for him.

Soon the smell of eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast fill the room. All three men make their way to the kitchen and grab plates for themselves. Being gentlemen they allow you to go first, so you grab some food and sit down.

You watch the man you love grab food, stuffing his face as he does. Realization dawns on you that he might not have eaten much since being brought back. Not that he did much complaining while the two of you were in the bedroom, as other things were occupying both your minds.

As you decide what you want to make for dinner, you know for sure that an Apple pie is on the menu, remembering how much Dean loved pie.

You like the idea of surprising him with this treat, then you realize you should probably make 2 pies. Finishing up the list, you get up from the table and the guys help you clean up the kitchen.

Dean comes up behind you and wraps his strong arms possessively around your waist, nuzzling your neck with kisses.

Dean: "Breakfast was fantastic sweetheart, but I really enjoyed the appetizer more. Cant wait for the encore later."

He turns you around and captures your mouth again in a hungry kiss.

Sam scoffs and clears his throat in mock horror.

Sam: "Ugh, get a room You two! Gross!"

You break the kiss and chase Sam as he laughs and runs out the door. You catch him, tackling him to the ground and twisting his fingers behind his back. Sam, on his stomach and still laughing, taps the ground in defeat as pain registers.

Bobby and Dean watch the whole thing, erupting in hysterical laughter and Dean gains a whole new level of respect for the woman you have become. Not many people have ever been able to take Sam down that easily. You let Sam up after he apologizes and dust off your clothes. You go inside to retrieve the shopping list and give it to Sam.

Y/N: "Here is how you can apologize Sammy dear. Go pick up these items for dinner tonight. Please don't be all day cuz I do need time to cook it."

You say, batting your eyelashes and flashing an innocent smile.

Dean chuckles and says,

Dean: "I will go with Sam and make sure the trip is quick. How does that sound?"

Sam nods gratefully as you reply,

Y/N: "ok. Have fun."

And watch as they get in the car and drive away.

You go back inside and play a couple rounds of cards with Bobby, then help him with fixing his truck.

Two hours pass and you frown, thinking that the boys should have been back by now, especially the way they drive. As you hand Bobby a wrench you voice your concern.

Y/N: "The boys should have been back by now. They never run this far behind without calling. In going to call Dean to make sure they are ok."

Bobby nods, noting that you are right, and you grab your phone and punch in Dean's number, which goes straight to voicemail. Then you call Sam's phone but that too goes straight to voicemail. Fear and panic well up inside you as infinite possibilities cross your mind. Random shootings, car crash, alien abduction...your mind swims with endless scenarios, no matter how farfetched.

Bobby comes over to you and gives you a hug.

Bobby: "We will find them YN, i promise."

You nod and calm down slightly as Bobby's words comfort you.

Sam pushed the cart while Dean grabbed the items on the list. While in the checkout line, both noticed an exceptionally attractive woman leaving the store, and Dean commented.

Dean: "Hey Sammy, you should ask her out. I'm sure your totally her type."

Sam gave his brother a playful push as the two finished paying, grabbed their items and left the store. While loading the groceries in the car Sam looks up and happens to see the same woman looking upset at her car. Upon a closer look Sam sees a flat tire on the passenger rear side of the car.

Nudging Dean, Sam says,

Sam: "dude, that girl from earlier has a flat tire. We should go fix it for her, then maybe I can get her number."

Dean shrugs and nods. Together they go and begin fixing the flat. As they do, the girl, who appeared thrilled to have help, begins to hum to herself. The notes sound like springtime mixed with ambrosia. Its melody is almost bewitching and the boys look up at the woman, their eyes becoming dull as they are entranced by the song.

Leaving the car with the partially fixed tire, they follow the siren to another vehicle where they get in with her and drive off, leaving their cell phones in the nearby garbage can.

Back at bobby’s you were taking some time to whack the old cars in the yard, you had already spent numerous hours hitting the cars wrecking them. Bobby was starting to get worried so he placed a call one day.

Bobby: “ellen its me I need some back up and its something that maybe you and Jo can help with.”

Ellen breathed over the phone.

Ellen: “where bouts? How bad is it?”

Bobby breathed and looked at u from the window..

Bobby: “its bad ellen really really bad. How soon can you get to my place?”

Ellen screamed at jo in the background as she sighed.

Ellen: “we are just loading up. We will be on the road soon.”

Bobby: “hurry otherwise there wont be any decent scrap metal left for me to fix the truck.”

Ellen chuckled as bobby hung up the phone and took Rumsfeld with him to see you. As he approached you, you were beating on the hood of a semi-truck with a large axe.

Bobby: “why don’t you give it a rest?”

Y/N: “ill rest when they are found bobby…”

Bobby: “I put the word out on the boys and the impala if they are out there we will find them.”

Bobby then heard a car pull up on the gravol, he looked at you struggling with a part on the mustang you had now decided to take parts from. He waved over his guests who silently stood there looking at you. You hadn’t noticed them standing there then Jo apprached your leg and started to crawl in on top of you slowly you didn’t think anything of it till she touched your bare skin and you jumped.

Jo: “still trying to fix your baby…”

You turned round and pinned her to the seat as you giggled.

Y/N: “Jo what are you doing here girl?”

Jo: “bobby called mom wanting help with cheering you up and finding those boys…”

You smiled and hugged her.

Y/N: “that sneaky old man…”

Bobby chuckled..

Bobby: “I heard that…”

Y/N: “you were meant too… ellen take him inside before I beat him up in training again…”

Ellen laughed and you heard then footsteps walking away from the vehicles.

You turned back to the part under the dash…

Jo: “so what do you know about what happened to the boys?”

Y/N: “nothing ive been too upset with myself for not realizing something was wrong earlier…”

Jo patted your back with concern…

Jo: “its not your fault… I cant say anything else except for we are gonna find them… we will and when we do we will kick the ass of the creep that took them…”

You smiled feeling her warm concern as you finished pulling out that part.

Y/N: “I missed you girl… oh by the way I have a question for you?”

Jo helped you get out of the car, she looked at you trying to figure out what you would want to ask her.

Jo: “well ask away?”

You could only smile as you concealed your engagement ring under your shirt.

Y/N: “will you be my Maid of Honor???”

You watched as Jo’s expression went from one of small happiness to overwhelming squealing…

Jo: “does that mean…”

You nodded your head and pulled the ring on the chain off from round your neck… showing it to her… you and her squealed hugging it out…

Jo: “omg girl you finally got engaged fuck bad timing for the boys to disappear….”

You nodded your head as both of you walked slowly back to the house… arriving inside you were stopped by ellen & Bobby who were baffled…

Ellen: “hun they found the impala…”

Your head snapped up and your eyes widened.

Y/N: “what else did they find?”

Ellen: “they found some weird looking purple flower around in and down the rood leading away from the impala…”

Y/N: “are they towing the impala here?”

Bobby nodded…

Bobby: “I pleaded that to them… I told them that if they didn’t I would come down there and kick their asses…”

You laughed and then felt Jo grab your hand with as much concern as you had…

Ellen: “hun do you have any idea what could have taken those boys… dean wouldn’t just leave the impala on the side of the road like that or their phones in the garbage cans near by…”

You nodded and went to the lore book on the desk and found the page you were looking for…

Y/N: “siren…”

Bobby: “siren you mean like greek mythology lures sailors to their deaths on the rocky shore with their song type of siren….”

You nodded…

Y/N: “except it is rare to find one outside of Greece… but they are extremely dangerous we need to find it and we need to find it fast… its worst thing it can do to a person in this side of the globe is infect it with its venom compulsion… basically if we don’t find the boys soon I hate to think what kind of horrible things she is gonna have them do… eventually she will get bored with them and she will have them kill eachother…”

Jo was at your side instantly you leaned your head on her shoulder as ellen and bobby watched you break into what seemed to be a thousand different pieces…

Ellen: “its time to get some sleep… or at least lay down and rest…”

You sobbed lightly as you turned slightly to look at ellen…

Y/N: “no what I should be doing is finding my fiancé and brother in law…”

Ellen: “no what you should be doing is getting some sleep… by morning the impala should be here… Jo will keep you company and then tomorrow you and jo will go in the impala and find those boys… whatever it takes girls…”

Both of you knew what she meant but you still hadn’t fully figured out those abilities… you and jo went upstairs after taking a few shots of vodka… you felt the eyes of your best friend looking at you, you were just sitting on the bed starring at a photo of you & Dean… Jo came up behind you and she sighed…

Jo: “you ok?”

Y/N: “no im not… who knows what that bitch is doing to the boys right now…”

You turned down your light as Jo did and you both laid down in bed and you ended up cuddled by Jo as you fell asleep crying… then Jo fell asleep shortly after you did… about 8 hours later you both woke up to a knock at the door. You both groaned but didn’t move…

Ellen came in and just looked at both of you…

Ellen: “it’s a new day and the impala has arrived bobby is just giving it a tune up before you go… ive got breakfast downstairs… oh and Y/N congrats on getting engaged sweetheart…”

You could only smile feeling jo hug you…

Jo: “well there isn’t much left to do except for us to get dressed into our matching ish outfits and venture out to find those boys…”

You nodded… you were sure that nothing else was gonna go wrong that day… sure the day was just beginning but that didn’t mean you were allowed to sulk…

Y/N: “we are gonna find them and we wont stop till we do I swear to god I wont loose dean… not again…”

You & Jo got up after Ellen left the room neither of you knew how today was gonna go but you were sure that you wouldn't come home without the boys…

Jo brought out too clothing bags with your special outfits in them. You watched her open those bags and your eyes widened.

Y/N: “Jo they are incredible…”

Jo: “it took me a month for these outfits and these boots are durable and deadly…”

You smiled starting to dress both of you taking your holisters putting them with your outfits as well…

You both got dressed and ready to go… making your way downstairs you stopped suddenly and almost fell down the stairs or at least you would have if Jo hadn’t caught you…

Jo: “girl you ok?”

Y/N: “I can’t see… my eyes went dark… and what the fuck is that awful noise…”

You said in a really quick panic… Ellen came over to you and jo as she took a look and helped you both down the stairs… ellen sat you in a chair and took a flashlight and shone it over your eyes.

Ellen: “can you see the light?”

You shoke your head…

Y/N: “no I cant see it… I cant see anything its like im not seeing through my own eyes…”

Ellen: “its called psychic reconnection… your powers are acting like this cause something is happening to Dean its affecting you… your powers are trying to locate the missing half of you…”

Jo: “so basically Dean is Y/N’s otherhalf??? But her powers see him as her protector???”

Ellen: “sort of… the first part is right but whatever her powers sense from dean its something that might help you find him… Y/N honey I want you to concentrate try and connect to Dean… try and find him…”

You closed your eyes and concentrated all your energy into trying to connect to him… you felt his peace of mind… you wandered into his head and what you saw didn’t scare you but instead it made you shiver… you saw dean kneeling in the darkness… you ran over to him and looked at him kneeling in front of him you touched his arm…

Y/N: “dean… dean its me… open your eyes…”

You tried to remain calm incase he lashed out, instead he slowly looked up at you…

Dean: “r u real?”

You didn’t know how to respond cause technically yes you were and technically no you weren’t…

Y/N: “sort of im walking through your mind look babe there isn’t much time you and sam are being held under the control of a siren…”

Dean looked at you concerned and like the normal dean would he touched your cheek and you felt a tear run down your cheek…

Dean: “but how… what…”

Y/N: “there isn’t much time… I cant hold this for much longer look ok Jo and I are coming to find you and sam where did this bitch take you?”

Dean: “somewhere in bedford Iowa… I can hear music I think we are under a club of some kind… but she has us under her spell why am I conscious right now…”

You smiled gently kissing his palm…

Y/N: “because your mind is trying to fight her control… keep fighting ill find you and sam trust me this bitch will pay…”

Dean smiled and stood up with you hugging you tight…

Dean: “thank you babe now hurry please and keep safe… I will fight to be free of her control…”

You kissed him softly before starting to fade out…

Y/N: “I love you…”

You suddenly were back in your own body you had no idea what was happening… you blinked and suddenly could see…

Y/N: “how many clubs are in Bedford Iowa???”

Bobby says something after a few seconds…

Bobby: “what the hell just happened?”

Ellen goes up to him and takes him into the other room as you sit there with your head in your hands feeling Jo’s hands surrounding yours. You hear Ellen screaming as Bobby screams…

Jo: “its ok I’m sure bobby will understand…”

Y/N: “how can you be sure?”

Jo: “cause it’s you.. and it’s me… bobby loves us just as much maybe more than the boys…”

You smiled as your heads turned towards the door opening bobby and ellen came out of the other room… bobby came over to you and Jo and held his arms wide open… both you and Jo went into them making it a group hug…

Bobby: “I’m so sorry for all the yelling girls I just didn’t know how to react to finding out you girls are gifted…”

You both forgave him and soon had your packs ready to go bobby tossed you the keys to the impala and it took you all of 2 seconds for your eyes to well up with tears… you shoke it off as you climbed into the drivers seat seeing the key ring made you furious...

Y/N: “this siren bitch is so dead… no one takes my fiancé and brother in law and gets away with it…”

You said with a harsh tone to your voice but you gave the impala gas racing out of the driveway and onto the highway you felt as though you knew where he was so you followed your gut…

You girls with a halfway point driver swap arrived in Bedford within a sweet 4hr20min.

Jo: “we are here…”

Y/N: “ya now lets find the boys and make this a quick and easy thing…”

Jo: “cause we are rotten…”

Y/N: “to the core…”

Jo: “lets kick some siren ass…”

You girls found a hotel and got a room not hopeing to be in town for more than 2 days you both started asking questions to everyone using your smart thinking you both went to the local law enforcement pulling out your badges…

Y/N: “special agent Blake… this is my partner special agent Warde… we are in town investigating the string of odd cases and to hopefully 2 more of our division who may have been in town recently…”

Sheriff: “now that you mention it 2 feds came in 2 days ago and threatened us to stop looking into these strange cases or the consequences would be severe then their eyes changed it was almost like…”

You and Jo together took him aside and locked the door of the room you were in.

Jo: “like they weren't human???”

Sheriff nodded and looked around shaking his head…

Sheriff: “can I level with you ladies?”

You both nodded sitting down as he handed you both coffee…

Sheriff: “I think this town is cursed or something cause we have weird stuff happen all the goddamn time and we don't have a clue why… plus whoever is doing this is leaving hibiscus flowers everywhere it's almost like it wants to be found… like it wants to be discovered…”

You looked at him then at Jo who nodded…

Y/N: “sheriff can we level with you now?”

Sheriff: “of course… ladies I'm happy to always comply with whatever the feds want…”

Y/N: “the thing that is killing all these people the thing that has our missing guys under its spell the thing destroying and terrorizing your town is a Siren…”

The sheriff's eyes went wide with terror…

Sheriff: “i saw one once… I saw what it did…”

Y/N: “which is why we need your help… if we work together we can find the siren and save our guys…”

Sheriff: “tell me what I need to do…”

You let Jo speak next for your phone buzzed…

You looked at it and you gasped…

You looked over at Jo who caught your drift…

Jo: “sheriff are there any strip clubs in town really high end ones…”

Sheriff: “ya there is one in town where they get exotic strippers all the damn time…”

Jo: “then we will need you to go in undercover… with us… now does everyone in town know you?”

You turned towards your best friend and gave her a slight confused look…

Sheriff: “not everyone especially not in that club…”

Jo: “good cause we are all going undercover tonight…”

Sheriff: “what's the plan?”

Jo: “me and my partner are your pimps… you are our sugar daddy… you wanted to take us out for a night on the town… we will go in and see if we can find our boys…”

You took a small breath and gave Jo a scolding look… to which she responded with puppy dog eyes… you groaned and nodded your head…

Y/N: “fine Jo fine but why are we using this plan again… seriously last time this plan happened we came out of it with dislocated shoulders and bruises…”

Jo: “yes but we are dealing with something else this time that won't toss us halfway across the room… plus Dean sent that message right so we need to get them out of there… whatever happened last night between you 2 in his mind made a difference…”

Y/N: “yes I know… now what are we wearing?”

Jo: “something sexy…”

You and Jo wrote down your hotel address and room number for the sheriff who agreed to be there at 8:30pm and bid you both good bye… you both exited the police station and looked at eachother once inside the impala…

Jo: “we need last minute outfits…”

Y/N: “ya but where are we gonna get those…”

Jo looked at you and then she started directing you to this little dress shop you had passed on your way into town… you groaned knowing she was in ful control of this…

She took you both through the racks and found the exact same dress in different colors… you went and tried them on coming out the sales associate approached you…

Sales associate: “let me guess ferturnal twins?”

You and Jo looked at eachother and giggled…

Jo: “nah just picking outfits with my best friend…”

Sales associate: “well your lucky those are the last ones of that style… that I have till my shipment comes in… but if you want to try something else you can…”

You looked at jo who nodded and you girls went to get something else… something maybe in a different color… your eyes landed on a different dress which you pointed it out to Jo… you then looked at her and thought up a neww scheme… you and her looked pretty much alike anyway so play the twin card… you both grabbed this dress in lavender and went to the change room putting them on you both were in awe…

You came out and stared in the mirror…

Y/N: “this is the dress we will take them…”

The cashier rung them up and you girls walked out of the store with your dresses you both highfived agreeing to wear your fed boots and also stopped at the convenience store grabbing a box of hair dye matching Y/H/C.. you both got back to the hotel and dyed Jo’s hair as soon as you got settled into the room…

As you put the dye in her hair you sighed…

Jo: “whats wrong girl?”

Y/N: “just thinking about dean… he is faking being under the siren’s control.. what if he gets caught…”

Jo: “don’t worry girl he knows we are gonna get there in time…”

You knew she was right you just didn’t want to spend another moment without him…

Y/N: “his message was coded so that way I would be the only one to understand it… FTSLOTFIOTFU. KTB. ILU. BCB… he gave me instructions on where they are…”

You smiled lightly letting the tears fall freely as you tossed the empty dye bottle, box and gloves in the trash… Jo turned to you looking at you with concern…

Jo: “hun you cant let this get you down in a few moments we will have dean & sam rescued plus we have a wedding to plan for you & dean… I already have the layout of the roadhouse set in mind…”

Y/N: “the wedding will only happen if we can save them… its my fault they got captured in the first place…”

Jo: “girl no it isn’t its their for trusting that snake… now im gonna go get rinsed off you start getting out clutches packed… or just grab our gun stores we can use those as clutches…”

You watched her disappear in the bathroom shutting the door behind her as you looked down at your handheld gun and saw the engraving… you ran your finger over the engraving and read the words outloud…

Y/N: “always & forever will I love you. All my love Dean…”

You closed your eyes again hoping that you could have a few moments alone with him let him know you were on your way. Upon entering his mind you didn’t see him immediately but you looked at where his eyes would be and he was starring at the siren. This made you gasp… that bitch was attempting to seduce your fiancé…

You decided to try a trick cause over and over again the siren kept saying, “I’m gonna make you scream…”

You decided to play with this a little so you went over to dean and smiled lightly… touching his arm he looked up at you and hugged you immediately.

Dean: “babe you came back… are you…”

Y/N: “yes we are in town we have a plan to get into the club unnoticed… babe I need you to do something for me… make yourself scream… scream at her terrify her… see if you can get her to send you and sam out into the club when the show starts…”

Dean: “she has only sent us to the police station and to the hospital with her key card… dude she is the fertility doctor or at least one of them… anyway… I cant express how much I miss you right now…”

You kissed him right then…

Y/N: “I miss you too… now when your eyes land on me & Jo we will look the same… don’t ask it’s a long story but we have a plan and its gonna be amazing… believe me dean its my greatest idea yet… now let her grind you to the point of your almost coming then pick her pocket for her phone and excuse yourself to the washroom… text me once there and hopefully by that point me and Jo will be in the club…”

Dean nodded holding you close.

Dean: “but I want you to come save me now… I hate seeing her do what she does to same trust me she screwed him right in front of me that’s something I wont ever be able to unsee… just please hurry babe I miss you…”

You suddenly felt yourself disappearing…

Y/N: “I miss you too..”

You found yourself blinking and sitting straight up knocking jo over…

Jo: “girl ive been trying to pull you out for e last 2 minutes… come on lets get ready the sheriff should be here soon…”

You both got ready and looked at eachother after fixing a few things and blow drying as the sheriff arrived. You took 2 seconds to let him in…

Y/N: “come on in and shut the door sheriff we are almost done…”

Sheriff: “call me Daniel… ladies you look wonderful… and so…”

Jo: “like twins…”

Daniel nodded and you smiled finishing pinning back Jo’s hair in the same style that you did yours…

Daniel: “so wait how will we…”

Y/N: “we have psychic abilities mine connects me to one of our missing guys which im sure will get mentioned later… but another thing is the one I connect with knows we are coming… he gave me instructions… Follow The Star Light On The Floor I Hope That You Find Us. Kill This Bitch. I Love U. Be Careful Babe… those were his instructions… we need to do this but while Jo entertains you Daniel I will go sneak off and find the boys… once I do ill signal to jo and she will do her thing… we can communicate telepathically with eachother… anyway just be prepared to fight… I don’t know whats gonna happen…”

Daniel: “so what am…”

Jo: “just play along with what we call you and get into more of a rich and enduring demenor…”

Daniel: “k so wait are you guys actually feds?”

Y/N: “no we are hunters… we hunt monsters of any variety…”

Daniel: “so wait the supernatural is real???”

You and Jo nodded…

Jo: “yes we will happily answer more questions as needed but we need to rescue Y/N’s fiancé and her brother in law…”

Daniel: “so that’s why… I think I understand now…”

You were so unsure of the intentions of tonight but you knew you were gonna rescue your fiancé and brother in law if it was to be your last act… you finished Jo’s hair and smiled as you adjusted slightly and then both you & Jo stood in front of Daniel and he smiled nervously…

Daniel: “shall we go ladies?”

You and jo each took one of his arms and nodded. All of you heading out to the limo Daniel had gotten and you all got in. going to the club you realized that after every single damn thing you had faced and killed this seemed like the most scary thing you could be doing…

You got out of the limo when Daniel extended his hand for you but you didn’t think anything could go wrong… you had one thing on your mind, getting Dean away from that psychotic siren bitch… you and jo walked along side Daniel into the vip of the club and got seated in a booth.

You kept your ears open you were waiting to hear or see any sign of the boys… your ears were sharp your hearing was amazing… again all thanks to dean… you listened for any sign of him…

Then something hit the back of your head… you picked it up and gasped… you slid it over to jo who showed it to Daniel before you shoved it in your bra and excused yourself to the bathroom… you arrived in there pretending to be there to fix your makeup and adjust your outfit and then once all the girls were out of there you locked the door and knocked on the sink…

Dean: “well I see you got my message..”

You turned around to see the face you had been missing for the longest time…

Y/N: “dean…”

Dean: “yes sweetheart…”

Y/N: “what happened before we got engaged?”

You watched him approach you as he looked at you ravenously…

Dean: “I came back from the dead…”

You hugged him at that moment. He embraced you tightly and then he kissed you passionately. You felt like you were home again…

Y/N: “are you ok? She didn’t…”

Dean shoke his head understanding what you were asking…

Dean: “nope she tried but I kept resisting… because of you I broke her hold on me I still dont understand how you were in my head but I guess that will get explained later?”

You nodded and felt him squeeze his hold on you tighter… then your phone buzzed…

Y/N: “that’s jo she spotted the biitch… don’t worry dean we will get her I have to get back just keep acting normal I’ll cause a rukus in a bit…”

Dean: “babe you need to be careful I mean this siren is different I hate letting you rescue…. Ugh….”

You watched him drop but then the door busted open and you watched him get up and walk over to the siren bitch you pulled out your gun and looked at her with fire and anger in your eyes…

Siren: “well well you’re the little tramp who holds the key to this ones heart…”

You held your gun pointed at her…

Y/N: “you’re the one who kidnapped my fiancé and brother in law.. let them go…”

The siren shoke her head and looked at you…

Siren: “I don’t think that will happen…”

You held yur phone behind your back as you sent a message quickly to Jo… “HDGEO. N. TBAD. DIN.”

You then hid your phone in the back of your garter and took a stronger stance as sam stepped in the room behind the siren. Then the alarm blared…. You smiled…

Y/N: “your plan will fail you stupid bitch…”

Siren: “oh I don’t think so little girl… lets see how you fair against not just your fiancé but your brother in law as well…”

You feared for this so you backed up before she could speak and slid right beneath her legs and ran out into the big empty area where Jo and Daniel had just finished clearing everyone out…

Siren: “get her and kill her…”

You stood in the middle of the now empty room where you didn’t see Jo or Daniel but right then you saw Sam & Dean stalking towards you… you tossed your gun away knowing you didn’t want to hurt them, you instead wanted to knocked them out first or collect a sample of one of their blood and then kill the siren bitch…

You heard footsteps surround you from all sides, they looked like sam & Dean but they were only half of the actual guys… you stood there wondering which one was gonna strike first. You weren’t sure what to do…

you watched both of them out of the corner of your eye. But you turned your attention to dean as he chuckled deeply, but wasn’t paying any attention to sam as he charged you. You turned around just in time to flip over his head… that’s when you heard Jo scream…

Jo: “y/n!!!”

You stuck your hand out towards her as you landed…

Y/N: “im fine Jo just get the knife now…”

Jo ran off, Sam moved to follow her but you stood between him and Jo..

Y/N: “no no your not going anywhere…”

You kicked sam backwards he landed knocked out against the wall. Dean growled and stalked towards you…

Dean: “you can’t expect to beat me… why your nothing but a little girl who lost her daddy…”

Y/N: “babe try to remember.. remember how happy we are… remember how much you love me…. Remember how much fun we have killing vamps and werewolves and late night training sessions which turned into passionate makeout sessions…”

You dodged his charging body and made him run into the table… then he looked at you and charged you again this time grabbing your arms throwing you against the wall then coming to you and dislocating your shoulder.

Dean: “I will do what my weak brother couldn’t…”

You screamed in pain as there was a groan from Sam who Jo had just finished tying him up and taking some blood onto the knife. She started towards you but couldn’t get through…

Jo: “girl I can’t get through do a double back flip catch it mid air… like before…”

You did the one thing you swore never to do cause it made you feel horrible… you head locked dean and knocked him out for a few seconds… you held your arm with the dislocated shoulder in one spot and cartwheeled over dean ending in a backflip… catching the knife in mid air and throwing it straight at the siren who dropped dead with a scream…

The guys woke a few seconds later as you fell in embarrassment & exhaustion… you had no idea what either of the guys would think of you… you had no idea if dean would still want to marry you after what you did to him…

You knelt there still and silently praying… Jo watched both guys wake but they both looked at Jo who pointed to you as she untied Sam who just stood there in silence wondering what the hell happened… Jo took him outside as Dean came over to you and fell down in front of you…

Dean: “Y/N…”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look up for fear of what could/would be said…

Y/N: “I failed you guys dean…”

Dean looked at you like you were crazy, he knew deep down that you didn’t fail he was very proud of what you had done… he took your hands in his and tried to meet your eyes…

Dean: “babe you didn’t fail anyone you succeeded it is because of you that me and sam made it out of this mess alive… its because of you that we can finally plan the wedding properly…”

You took a small breath as you tried to move your shoulder feeling dean cringe and move like normal…

Y/N: “oh by the way you dislocated my shoulder… which I guess will make us even when I tell you that I put you in a sleep hold just before I killed the siren bitch…”

Dean chuckled moving his hand just under your chin he lifted it to make you look at him.

Dean: “I know you think you failed but look I’m here, Sammy’s alive too and so are you and Jo I can’t believe you survived this job… what with everything you were put through… I thought for a moment at first that you weren’t gonna save us because that bitch was putting thoughts in our heads… but you came through now how did you get inside my head?”

You smiled a little bit and stared at him like it was your first time seeing him… Y/N: “we can discuss that later right now I want to go home we have baby she is fine… she is at a hotel in town…” Dean picked you into his arms and got up cradling you bridal style as he carried you all the way back to the hotel… where Jo & Sam were waiting outside by the impala…

Jo: “we booked you guys a separate room unless you guys want to head back to bobby’s tonight…”

Dean: “well I think we need to reset Y/N’s shoulder and rest up here for the night then head back to bobby’s tomorrow…”

Jo opened the door to your now conjoined room and let dean who was holding you in first… Sam then pointed the way to your bedroom… Jo gave you a smile as she watched you and dean disappear behind the door… Dean set you on the ground and told you to lean on the bed…

Dean: “ok babe we need to get your shoulder set back…”

Y/N: “ugh it hurts… babe you need to tone it down on your biceps… your strength is amazing babe but it hurts…”

Dean held you one hand on your shoulder and the other holding your hand…

Dean: “on the count of…”

You weren’t wanting to prolong it any longer…

Y/N: “just do it…”

Dean breathed in as you squeezed his hand tighter and he pulled your shoulder back popping it back in… you winced a bit but chuckled a bit more as you felt him hug you tight from behind.

Dean: “honey you are amazing…”

You smiled leaning into his embrace…

Y/N: “It’s just you and me tonight. We can do whatever we want.”

You felt him breathe in deeply as he spun you round and looked in your eyes smiling… he nuzzled your forehead slowly lifting off your shirt as he leaned in with a passionate kiss to your lips as he lay you down gently on the bed…

Dean: “babe we have to be careful of your shoulder… are you sure this is how…”

Y/N: “I almost lost you I want a constant reminder of you… always and forever…”

With that moment of passion you watched as dean lifted off his shirt and chucked it across the room and smiled coming back down on you kissing you…

#spn hiatus writing challenge 2017 #spn hwc - week 19

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conorpmaynard · 8 years ago

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All Started With a Song Part 7// Conor Maynard

Word Count- 1852

Summary- conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) so sorry it took so long. i was at my friends and couldnt get time to post. heres part 7. i hope you enjoy. im also not going to lie ot you guys, i have no idea when part 8 will be up. this is laos the longest imagine ive written so far!

You groaned as you rolled over in your bed, the loud noise filling your ears. Your alarm was going off. You slowly reached your hand out from under the blankets and shut it off. You were so tired but you knew you needed to get up. It was currently midnight. You needed to pack everything into the car, get to the airport and get everything checked in by 2:30.

You reluctantly got out of your oh-so-warm bed and walked to the guest room.

“Ali, get up. We have to get ready,” you whispered, lighting shaking the brunette.

You walked to the other side of the bed, “Livy, c’mon. We have to get ready.”

“Why did we stay up last night? We’re so dumb,” Alice groaned, sitting up.

“I regret it so much,” Olivia whined, pulling the blanket over her head.

You laughed lightly, grabbing the blanket and ripping it off the bed.

“You bitch! What did I ever do to you?!” Olivia shrieked.

“Get up you lazy bums. I’m making breakfast,” you said walking out to the kitchen.

“By making do you mean getting the cereal and bowls out?” Alice smiled, following you.

“And the milk!” you retorted.

“Hey Liv, can you bring me some Ibuprofen? My head is killing me,” Alice lightly shouted. A few moments later the blonde came out with a bottle of pills.

“Why did we do that last night?” She groaned.

“Because we’re dumb and immature,” you laughed.

“Not so loud please,” Alice whispered, swallowing 2 of the pills.

“Sorry,” you gave her a smile. “Maybe some Cheerios will help.” You passed her a bowl full of her favorite cereal.

“Oh my god,” she moaned as she took a bite. “God is real.”

You and Olivia laughed.

“Did we take any videos from last night?” you asked, handing Olivia her bowl.

“Let me check,” she took a spoonful of cereal while opening her camera roll. “Oh. My. God.”

“What?” you and Alice asked in unison.

“Look,” she had a weird look on her face when she handed you her phone.

You looked at the screen, mouth wide open.

You were stood on your bed, in an old t shirt and booty shorts. You were clearly drunk and very happy.

“Y/n!” shouted Alice. “Give your bae a quick shootout!”

“Yeah!” Olivia giggled, her grip on the phone shaky.

“I don’t have a bae,” you said sadly. “But I will give a shout out. Shout out to Conor Maynard for being a grade A asshole.” You hoisted the bottle of beer in your hand into the air. “You really know how to treat a girl. Hope your mommy’s proud of you.” You kneeled on the bed and got really close to the camera.

“Oh, and I think I might love you…” you said quietly. And then the video ended.

You stood there, not realizing the tears that had shed down your cheeks.

“Oh babe,” Olivia wrapped you in a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t feel bad. I was drunk, I said something I didn’t mean.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would believe you. “We’re going to LA in a few hours, we should be happy!”

“Speaking of that, we should really get ready.”

“Oh crap,” Alice said looking at the clock. “It’s already 12:45.”

You three quickly washed your dishes and rushed to the bathroom. You guys spent the next 45 minutes getting ready, jamming out to music and packing your essentials into your carry ons.

By 1:30 you three were stood at your door, making sure you had everything.

“Carry ons?” you asked.

“Check!”

“Check,” Olivia placed her hands around the straps of her backpack.

“Phone and charger?”

“Got them both,” Alice said phone in hand.

“Where’s your charger?” you asked.

“In my bag.”

“Prove it.”

She sighed, “Yes mom.” She took her backpack off, opening the front pocket to reveal her various chargers.

“Olivia?”

“Check and check, “she had her charger in one hand, phone in the other.

“Makeup?”

“We packed all of it into yours.”

“Oh right. I have the necessities, Liv has the snacks and you have the activities,” you pointed at Alice who nodded.

“Suit case?”

“You can see them!” Olivia chuckled.

“I’m just going through the list we made!”

“Computers?”

“Yes! We both have them! Can we please go now?”

“Yes! Let’s go!!” you squealed, shooing them out the door. You placed the key in the lock and turned it. “Hold on, I need to do one more thing.”

“What?”

You ignored their questioning looks as you walked across the hallway, knocking on the door. The door opened faster than any of you expected.

“Mornin’,” said the very attractive young male who just happened to be shirtless.

“Hey Alex, here’s the key. Feel free to eat any food you find and use my Netflix.” You smiled, handing him the key.

“No problem,” he smiled, leaning against the door for support. “What exactly am I doing again?”

You chuckled, “Just making sure no one breaks in.”

“Right,” he straightening himself. “I can do that.”

“Thanks again,” you reach up and kissed him on the cheek. “I owe you.”

He smirked and closed the door. You turned around to two girls gawking at you.

“What the hell was that?” Olivia asked.

“That’s my neighbor Alex,” you said, grabbing your suitcase and beginning the long walk to the elevator.

“Why have you never mentioned him?” Alice asked, following you.

“Never came up, I guess,” you shrugged, approaching the elevator.

“Can we also talk about how its Alex. As in Jack Maynard’s friend Alex.” Olivia trailed off.

You laughed, pressing the elevator button, “It’s not a big deal guys. He doesn’t really socialize with anyone but the boys.”

“Have you guys hung out?” Alice pestered, following you into the elevator.

“Once, but it was when I first moved it last year. He was nice, but then had to leave cuz Abe needed help with someone. We just never clicked,” you shrugged once more.

“Why are you not freaking out?” Olivia questioned.

“Because I wasn’t going to use him to get to Conor, so why try? Yeah he’s nice and stuff, but I’m not that kind of person. Also he’d find out sooner or later that I’m a fan of him and his best friends.”

“You have a point, but I would have been all over that,” Alice laughed.

“Do you want his number?” you joked.

“You have it?” she gawked.

“No,” you laughed. “I just wanted to see your reaction.”

It took you girls a solid 10 minutes to figure out how to get everything in the car, it was like a giant version of Tetris.

The car ride was full of out-of-tuned singing and dirty looks from people who were stuck at the stoplight next to you.

When you finally got to the airport you parked in the long term parking and walked inside. It took about 20 minutes to get through security. You had to stop and beg the security to let you take the snacks on the 11 hour flight, which they eventually allowed.

You stopped by a Starbucks because you were all running on about 2 hours of sleep.

“Guys look!” Olivia smiled, pointing out the large windows that displayed all the airplanes.

“Let’s get a picture!” you giggled.

“Hi, could you please take a few photos of us?” Alice asked a teenage girl.

“Sure!” she smiled a big toothy smile and took the phone.

You guys took some facing away from the camera, some facing the camera and some sitting on the ground. After thanking the girl, you exchanged pictures.

While you were sat at Gate 4 waiting for your flight to LA, Conor was an absolute mess.

“I fucked up mate,” Conor sighed, spreading across the couch.

“And I don’t feel bad,” Jack said annoyed. Conor did this to himself.

“What do I do?” he asked his younger brother.

“Let her go. Bro you lost her, just accept that.” His brother sighed, pausing the game to give Conor his full attention

“I can’t,” Conor sat up, squeezing a pillow tight to his chest. “I like her a lot.”

“Then why did you ‘forget’?” Jack asked, using the finger quotes when necessary.

“Because I was jealous, I wanted to make her jealous. But I regret it,” he groaned, slamming his head into the pillow.

“If you regret it, why did you unadd her on everything?”

“I don’t know, I was upset that I just let her leave.”

“Bro, you’re so fucking stupid.” And with that Jack got up and went to his room.

Leaving Conor by himself while he was sad was a bad idea. He always did things he would later regret. And this time was no different, he opened his phone and went to Instagram. One lil peek wouldn’t hurt.

Yes it would.

He typed in your username and noticed you had a new picture. The picture was of you and two girls, the same two girls from your previous post, in front of a giant window of what looked like an airport. All three of you were in a squatting position. Alice and Olivia had their fingers pointing at the camera and you were in the middle, hands in prayer formation.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he read the caption.

@y/i/n/

spontaneous vacay with my besties? i think yes!

Where were you going? Why? Who were you going to see there? What were you going to do? He clicked the picture and went to the brunette’s, Alice, page. He was even more upset after seeing her post.

@aliiibooo

a spoon full of travel makes the sadness go away

Her picture was off you three, once again in front of the giant window. But this time you were in the middle, one arm wrapped around each girl. Alice was throwing up a peace sign and the blonde, Olivia, had her hand on your face, squishing your cheeks together. He once again clicked on the picture, this time going to Olivia’s page.

Her post was of you three facing away from the camera. Conor couldn’t see your face but he knew you looked beautiful.

@oliviaaaaaa

LA, we’re coming for ya ;)

California? Why were you going to California? What was in California that wasn’t in London?

Lots of things you idiot.

Conor was half tempted to message you about it. But then he got a call.

Incoming call: Anth

Anth? Why was Anth calling him?

“Hey bro, what’s up?” Conor asked, curiosity filling him as he laid back on the couch.

“Before I tell you anything, you have to promise not to get mad or do anything stupid,” Anth said slowly.

“What are you on about?” Conor chuckled.

“Promise me,” there was no laughter in Anth’s voice.

“Okay… I promise. Now tell me what’s going on,” he sat up again.

“Y/n is coming to LA to do a cover with me,” Anth said quickly, fear consuming him.

It took Conor a few seconds to respond but Anth never expected him to say what he did.

#jack maynard #Conor Maynard #conor maynard imagine #Joe Sugg #caspar lee #josh pieters #Oli White #mikey pearce #buttercream squad #buttercream #buttercream imagines #youtube #youtube imagines #imagine #imagines

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qgaje8wz-blog · 5 years ago

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homeowners insurance quote without personal information

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gayleefiora · 6 years ago

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also earlier i had heard you correct yourself and call b your ex-girlfriend which made me smile cuz last week you said girlfriend a couple times and it freaked me out but this is the first time i’ve heard you say ‘ex’ and it was a relief.

so we go to the bus stop and i make you keep walking bc theres people at all the bus stops and im like UGH. i take your hand but its a little awkward so i try to pull it away but you wont let me bc you know i want to touch and we do a little hand dance and then let go and its nice. then as soon as we get there the bus is coming. and im quite frustrated and youre like do you want to get on? and i’m like, i want you to take care of your business but also NO i don’t i dont want it to be here this soon but... what do you want? and the bus is coming and you’re like uhhhh and im like now or never dude and youre like no. dont take it. lets hang out a little longer and im like good. yes. bc thats all i want in that moment.

so we walk and come eventually to volunteer park and you tell me that’s where you buried your other rat. we walk for a bit. im exhausted, like i havent felt so tired/happy/confused/heartbroken/heartfull/vulnerable in a long time. i just want to go to the dark. so i collapse by a tree and you collapse next to me and we’re already touching so i know its okay. i just turn to you and bury my face in the crook of your shoulder and then its too much and i want to hold you like i do at night when i think of you. and i do. you stretch your arm around me and we just breathe and you hold me. i feel so safe and comfortable and like slightly relaxed for the first time in hours, maybe all day. and we just do that for a while. you hold me and the energy shifts eventually so i switch and hold you so you can feel safe and comfortable and taken care of. and you want it. you want to be held by me. you run your fingers through my hair so soft but firm and i feel so loved. i rub your shoulder and put my fingers deep in your hair and its so thick and beautiful just like mine. your hand is curled on top of your shoulder and one arm is slung across me and when i brush your hand you grasp for me and so i hold your hand while we lay curled together, mostly silent, in the dark.

you say i dont want to move and i say i dont either. eventually youre like ‘i really dont want to get up. but i have to’ and im like i know its okay. lets try a practice run and you dont move and neither do i. we move closer somehow and i bury my face in your hair. but eventually you do get up and i do too and its okay. we walk back to the bus stop, not touching.

we get to the bus stop and it comes v soon but before it comes for some reason we’re talking about raccoons. there’s a ladder and you say raccoon ladder? and i say nah, they’re too heavy. but then i remember theyre hella smart and fast and i tell you about jes and the raccoons and the lake. and youre cracking up even tho you don’t know her and i love you for it. and i need to tell you, have been meaning to tell you for a while. so we see the bus and you reach out your arms and i fall into them. and i say ‘i love you’ in the real way and you say ‘i love you too.’

you sort of let me go but not really. i hear/feel you kiss the top of my head. you don’t want to let go. i look at your face and its so beautiful and cute and shining with love and i say like a little kid ‘bye raccoon’ and you say bye. get home safe. i’ll see you soon. sweet dreams and i say sweet dreams for you too. and get on the bus which is gross and full of fuckin weirdos but im not focused on that. bc i am focused on this. i text you when i get home and i think you’re not going to text me but at 1:35 you do. you say “<3 me too i think (re: being okay). i hope youre having sweet dreams” its like the fourth time we’ve said that to each other. i love that you texted me even tho you think im asleep. its also at the exact moment i am thinking of you and specifically of sex and how incredibly much i will fall apart when/if we ever have sex. and i hear my phone ding and its just like wow. wow. you love me. you even said it. we said it.

i just... i dont know what to think or feel or anything rn. i still rly want a spliff but also not. its just wow. its so funny how we cant stop touching now that we did once. like i cant turn off my vulnerability and i keep expecting you to run from it or me but you dont. you just get CLOSER and MORE LOVING and its so weird to me!!! we’re so well balanced!!! because thats what i do for you, is i am always grounded and can always support you and be close to you and make you feel beloved and special but you are so good at doing that for me and its just. wow. it felt so fucking good to hold you. ive spent so many nights imagining it and thinking it would never happen and you must have to. but it did. that happened. i said i love you and you didnt run away, you said ‘i love you too’. which i mean i knew but also!!! to hear it!!! it still doesn’t feel real.

so. that was last night. idk exactly where we go from here except everywhere. you just kept making such an effort to tell me how important and special i am to you. you said it multiple times, at the nus stop too again i think. i know you did bc i said ‘when you say those things i want to respond, but i cant. bc my brain doesnt know how to process. bc it feels so much. if i cant make eye contact with you, i am overwhelmed. thats what that means. it means so much to hear and so i get really quiet and look away but its just bc i want it so much that i dont know how to handle it.’ and yr like its okay, and you just understand. you understand so much. work is hilarious bc we’re so fucking telepathic, esp when its busy. like fuckin lmao we bussed a table in like 15 seconds flat and i saw you about to knock over a waffle batter container and i s2g i CAUGHT IT halfway between the fridge and floor and saved it bc we are that in tune.

you thanked me at one point. idk why. i said thank YOU then said i mean also like, i accept and that’s sweet. but also. thank you. god. it was so incredibly sweet. i can see how much you love me written over your face all the time but esp when we were in your apartment. no one has ever, ever ever soothed my vulnerability like that. not even dylan or tat. no one has been that sweet with me and known what i needed except myself. to just be held. and loved. and cuddled. by you. the sweetest, smartest, kindest, most beautiful person i have ever met. the most interesting person i’ve ever met. im so fucking in love with you and you... feel that way about me and know i need to hear it and tell me and it cant even be for the reaction cuz i cant GIVE you the reaction in the moment but you know anyways because you can read my eyes so well. thats why i cant look at you sometimes. cuz you’ll see my whole face and know.

jesus jesus jesus christ.

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lazytacomoon-blog · 6 years ago

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"life insurance selling quotes

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