#food bought for everybody in my own house.....

[seat-safety-switch]

Everybody at the company Christmas potluck has contributed their own weird, homemade take on classic meals. There's Ted's strange chili, Alanis's bizarrely warped lasagna, and some kind of horrifying jello concoction on the end of the table by Ernesto. Being a home cook is difficult, and serving it to a judgmental audience of hungry coworkers is much more so.

Me, I went with the easy answer: tacos. All I had to do was run the entire contents of my house through a food processor, and then show up with them meticulously organized into little bowls. If I make a bad taco for you, I'm a bad taco chef. If you make a bad taco for yourself, you must be some kind of dipshit idiot, and would never in a million years blame the guy who provided the ingredients and trusted you to make your own food. This is a lot like kit cars.

When I was a kid, a trusted neighbour did something very bad. He bought a Beetle-based kit car. Well, not the whole car. The kit, you see. In case you're unfamiliar, the idea behind these things is that you would get a then-worthless Beetle (now worth more than the neighbour's house,) chop it to little bits and then throw all the oily, smoky parts onto a new frame. Then you'd go racing around in your cool new exotic car that makes less horsepower than the aforementioned food processor.

Lots of these kits got sold, and hardly any got finished. Not only is there the demon dog of procrastination lurking outside your garage at all times, but some serious manufacturing skills are required. You might think that it's just turning wrenches and picking up heavy objects, but, like the tacos, the kit car leaves a lot of details to the imagination.

Sure, you can bolt things together according to the two-page photocopied manual, but then you'll have doors that don't shut, an engine that randomly catches on fire (more than usual for an air-cooled VW,) and the whole thing will fall apart thirty feet down the road. A lot of reading-between-the-lines is necessary. In other words, you need to be competent enough to make your own car, in order to make their car.

Be that as it may, everyone loves tacos, and everyone loves homemade sports cars. In that way, I've only followed the long-standing tradition of avoiding responsibility for shitty manufacturing. What do you mean, "did you fully cook the beef?" It's been in the crock pot for like seventeen hours on low, dude.

[tsmass]

Whenever gay Americans get angry abt what our government is doing to Palestinians (and why), there's always someone who loves to be like "Who's gonna tell these dummies homosexuality is illegal in Gaza?"

That's so crazy.

I'm a gay Texan in my mid 20s. When I was a little kid, homosexuality was illegal. Here in Texas, where I lived and where I still happily live.

So (TW "war" crimes) I guess it would've been fair enough if the U.S. and Israel had bombed me and my family and neighbors, our houses and jobsites and whole communities, the girls I played with down the street, my baby brothers, my grandparents at work, the trans Texans who used to meet up downtown in the city, everybody else etc. If they had deliberately driven us from our homes and forced us to live in terror every night and every day, maiming our children, burning our parents alive, attacking&cutting off our food and water, blocking our aid, methodically starving us out and telling us straight up that we needed to be scrubbed off the face of the earth so they could take everything we have and not worry about keeping it.

I mean, damn I guess we would've had it coming. Homosexuality wasn't even legal, right? Sounds like a Texas problem. What do I care what the gov spends all those $$,$$$,$$$,$$$ and lives doing?

*Just to be clear, gay sex between men was a crime here until 2003 (when I was definitely kicking around, painting my nails with markers and eating bugs).

If I wanted to see penalties that were exactly the same as (or often harsher than) what's been left on the books in Gaza (and maybe sometimes ? enforced), I just have to go back one generation to my parents' lifetime, when men were getting 10 years in prison and, unlike in Palestine, police were setting up sting operations to actively crack down on the gay problem (again, smth that doesn't even happen in Gaza).

This is not, like, a weird feature of some "foreign" culture to me, and it really shouldn't be for any American who isn't super young or who knows her history. That doesn't make it right (at all), but you can't believe the lie that "these people aren't like you". Pretending this has any relevance on the genocide other than to say that queer Palestinians are even more greatly impacted by it is crazy and disgusting.

-- This really doesn't need to be added, but if we're supposed to play this stupid game, Palestinians in the West Bank took their anti-gay laws off the books in the early 1950s, at the same time basically all U.S. state governments were creating new laws specifically targeting gay (and trans) ppl and categorizing gay sex as a felony with harsh prison sentences. Now should our American grandparents/parents have been starved and scrubbed off the earth?? I would say... No!

The laws in Gaza are definitely not good for gay and trans Gazans -- stigma is very real, and gay rights aren't explicitly protected under the freedoms and human rights guaranteed by the Palestinian constitution. This is wrong, but obv genocide makes it a million times worse and is indescribably more horrible for all Palestinians, queer and straight.

And I don't get how anybody living in the "anglo-sphere" can pretend like this is some distant culture we're talking about -- these laws were imposed by the British Empire on occupied Palestine in the 1930s and then left on the books. Incredibly, Palestinians are normal people, and I think there's a good reason so many lgbt's see right through this bullshit.

We understand that the same politicians who weaponize "family values" can condemn families to death to line their own pockets.

We've heard "save the children" from people happy to condemn children to the horrors of genocide.

And when bought-out politicians defend our gay rights, they still don't hesitate to drop bombs on our mangled gay bodies.

[actualbird]

confession: i refrained from talking about It here (though i livetweeted the ordeal on my priv lsbdfsdlf) but now that things have calmed down, i wanted to share what's happened

from february 4 to february 12 of 2024, i experienced the most heartbreaking and heart wrenching week of my life. my mother tried to commit suicide several times, and the days were first spent taking care of her while in an overdosed state while she said over and over that she wanted to die before i finally broke and begged her to go to the hospital. up until that point, i was looking after her on my own. i was feeding her, getting her to sit up to drink water, walking her to the bathroom, checking if she was still breathing, and enduring it when she got mad at me and told me she was “fine.” i was hanging on by a thin thread. i’ve always been the house’s caretaker—always known as the pragmatic and responsible one—but this was more than I could ever handle.

“i don’t know how to help anymore,” i told my older sister when i myself had my own breakdown on the night of my mother’s hospitalization. as i hyperventilated and sobbed, the feeling of helplessness shook my body and my words. “i can’t help anymore.”

and then something really wonderful happened: people came and helped

when news got out of my mother's attempts, suddenly my phone was blowing up with texts and messages from people i didnt know. they were her friends: old friends from college, friends from the university she teaches at, her family from the province. they were all asking me and my siblings if they could help with anything: driving, food, money, emotional support. her family in the province drove hours from the province to meet us in the city just to lend a hand in keeping us calm. her friends from the university were the ones who drove her to the hospital and helped us out with a loan and financial aid for the ER bills.

my brother who lives in japan flew in back to the philippines despite having an academic conference just to help. his girlfriend drove him from the airport to the hospital despite having to study for an exam. my older sister's boyfriend came over just to buy us all donuts and food to make sure we were all eating while looking after everything. my girlfriend bought my sisters and i trinkets from a convention just to make us smile during these hard times, and she kept reminding me to sleep and eat and drink and take my meds. my online friends who knew were messaging me asking if i was okay, if i wanted to see some bird posts for serotonin or if i needed somebody to vent to or even to help with money too. hell, even my coworkers asked me if i was okay. they asked about my mom, and i told them, but then my supervisor asked "but how are YOU?" and i burst into tears

all this reminds me of that weird "discourse" i see around about how youre not supposed to ask friends for help because we're all adults and. i am 24. and in these weeks, i felt more like a helpless child than ive ever felt in my life

and yet

people came and helped

when youre needed, youre needed

and we didnt even ask. they just....showed up.

everybody we knew—friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family—they all showed up when we needed them

idk. i guess in this world it's really easy to feel really alone. i sure did. but youre really really not. i had no idea how many people were looking out for us, but they're here. they were here for us. ive lost count of how many people came to help, and isnt that a beautiful thing. i lost count of how many people helped

[more-sonorous]

i’ll paint you shades of blue and red- chapter 1 (javey)

THE FIRST CHAPTER IS OUT!! classic Jack Kelly shenanigans ensue, and I have an excellent time writing Crutchie dialogue!

go feast upon the words, everybody, I had a fun time writing this!

im attaching my jack and Crutchie convo because i love it, and also a bonus Javey moment that made me scream

…..

“Hey, hey, watch your step! You’se shakin’ the whole roof!”

Jack peered over the edge of the ladder to find Crutchie curled up in a bundle of tatterworn blankets. He could feel his mouth ticking down into a frown before he could stop himself, because the cold was practically clawing at his cheeks and nose and chin, so he couldn’t possibly imagine what the younger boy was feeling.

He swung himself up onto the roof and did his best to tamper his agitation. “Crutch, what the hell is this? I told you to stay inside the lodging house for the night– you shouldn’t be sleepin’ up here in the snow!”

“Geez, Jack, you shouldn’t either.” Crutchie glanced up at him with accusatory blue eyes and a slight pout. His lightly freckled cheeks were already pink. “Besides, I can handle a little flurry. I needs the money more for food than for a bed right now. What, you want me gone or somethin’?

“No, Crutch, I don’t–” He let out a sigh and gathered up his own bedding, a collection of blankets and quilts he’d been gathering since he lived in that little matchbox apartment with his parents. The one his Papá had bought him only a month after Mamá’s passing was his favorite, though it looked worse for wear at this point. “I don’t want you gone. Now shove over.”

Crutchie grinned a gap-toothed smile and curled up against the wall. He was still wearing his hat and his hair was a golden-blond mess, matted and tangled on the side where he’d been laying on his bundled-up-blanket pillow. “Ooh, ain’t I lucky? Human blanket Jack’s my favorite Jack.”

“I know, you lug.” Jack tossed his own blanket over their laps as Crutchie tugged him in with another blanket around his shoulders. His thin body was exceedingly cold and Jack found himself wishing he had the authority to send the boy inside without a second thought. Crutchie didn’t take well to charity, though, and he was old enough to ignore Jack’s pointed orders to ‘get his skinny ass inside already’. He sighed as he tugged Crutchie up against his side, feeling the stress finally begin to settle in his chest.

“Bad date?” His almost-brother read him like a book. Jack couldn’t help his own little laugh at that fact.

“It wasn’t supposed to be a date. That’s the problem.” He muttered, tucking his chin into the collar of his own shirt. One thing he liked about winter was the fact that he didn’t have to undress before bed and redress in the mornings. Gave him a few extra minutes of sleep.

“Okay… I’m confused.” Crutchie offered one of those wry smiles of his from where he was half-hidden in their pile of blankets, barely visible between the shadows from his wild hair and the dim light of the half moon.

“Well– I invited Davey along and he didn’t really end up spending any of the night with us and just went off to sit by himself. Plus he’s been so moody recently and I got no idea why, but I figure he’s s’posed to tell me that stuff since he makes me talk every time I’m upset.” He let out a sharp, aggravated breath as images of sad green eyes and Davey, curled up beneath that quilt all alone in the snow, practically slapped him across the face. “I always feel weird asking him to come over and join me and Kath.”

Crutchie hummed sagely, surely about to deliver Jack some wisdom. “Maybe ya’ should feel weird. Nobody wants to hang out alone with a fella and his gal.”

“Yeah, but it’s Dave.” Jack countered, because that was an obvious argument to him. Davey was different. He wasn’t like other people were to Jack. “It’s Dave ‘n me ‘n Kath. We won a strike together.”

“That’s the business sphere. This is the domestic sphere.”

“Crutch, what the hell is a sphere?” His agitation spiked. Davey and his stupid impromptu school lessons were starting to get on Jack’s nerves because the Newsies were all using big Davey words.

Crutchie grinned infuriatingly, because no one could resist that sweet, gap-toothed smile and the crescent moon crinkle of his eyes. “Specifics, Jack, specifics. What I’m tryin’ to say is that he probably don’t mind makin’ plans and discussin’ Union business with you and Kathy, but when it comes down to spendin’ time otherwise with you, he feels uncomfortable like any other fella would. Nobody wants to tag along on a private date.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be a date, though.” Jack was almost whining at this point as he found himself back at square one– usually Crutchie was better about walking him through his problems, but obviously he just didn’t understand Davey like Jack did. “And Davey doesn’t mind hanging out with us. This is Davey we’re talking about, Crutch. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s also always seemed pretty adverse to girls and courting and all of that mess.” Crutchie pointed out sagely, raising his eyebrows at Jack. “So ya’ might be makin’ him uncomfortable.”

Oh. That sort of checked out. Maybe Davey was feeling lonely, or something? But the more he thought about it, the less it made sense. “I dunno, man, I think that Davey could get just about any girl he wanted.”

Crutchie gave him a look he couldn’t decipher and grinned, eyebrows shooting up towards his hair. “Oh yeah, Jack? Why’s that?”

“Well- he’s damned smart, first of all. And he’s tall, and he’s not bad looking, and he’s funny. Actually, Dave’s pretty good looking. He’s one of the best looking guys I know. Ain’t no reason a girl shouldn’t want him.” Jack decided, and then mentally decided right after that Dave probably didn’t have a girl because he didn’t want one. Nerd brain was probably focused on books and science and whatnot.

“Well… Dave’s a pretty awkward fella—“

“Not if you get to know him.” He quickly jumped to his best friend’s defense, “And when you get to know him he’s like a different guy. He’s snarky and funny and he’s damned sarcastic too, which makes for fun conversation.”

“Geez, alright. I’m sure he don’t need you to defend his honor, Jackie.” Crutchie teased, poking Jack’s side once or twice.

He narrowed his eyes reflexively. “Don’t call me that.”

“Dave does.” Crutchie’s grin turned into something shit-eating and Jack didn’t understand why, but he sure didn’t like it.

“Dave’s—“

“Dave’s different, I know. You’ve said.” Crutchie reached one hand out of the blanket pile to ruffle Jack’s hair. Jack batted him away with a grumble and felt Crutchie’s sigh like one of his own. “You two… the way you and Dave think amazes me. You’re both so…”

Thoroughly done with everyone’s bullshit for the day, Jack shot the blond a seething glare. “We’re both so what?”

“Do you wanna hear it?”

“No.” He muttered into the blanket, resisting the strong urge to roll his eyes.

Crutchie grinned like he’d just won a round of poker against Racetrack. “Then I ain’t gonna say it.”

“Good. Shut your trap and go to sleep.”

“Yes sir.”

Crutchie giggled as he curled up, his chest shaking with laughter that Jack was simultaneously endeared and annoyed by. He cuffed the younger boy over the back of the head for good measure before he sighed and settled himself down for sleep.

…..

Davey raised his eyebrows in his classic ‘unimpressed and sassy’ expression, as Jack had mentally titled it, arms crossed tight against his chest. He looked very posh today, with his curls all neat and his collar buttoned up to his neck. Somehow he managed to pull off everything from uptight schoolboy to disheveled newsie without a hitch. Maybe it was his bone structure or those wide, green eyes– but even now, out of his element and cold as hell, Davey’s cheeks were flushed all pretty and he looked awful nice.

…..

[imnotgoinganywhereok]

Hello, everybody!! How are your preparations for Christmas/holidays going? I hope this year was treating everyone fairly and the new year will be calm and light like a breeze!! My wish is for Sims Team to fix the bug where eyelashes match Sims' skin colour. My cute doll lost part of her charm when her eyelashes are not black. :^(

Juno's Strangerville adventure starts NOW!! She's got a spacious beautiful house and a few thousand simoleons saved from her military career, but she lives alone and it's the middle of the night so she's quite bummed out. What's the point of baking a pie if you have nobody to share it with? At least the neighbours are kind enough to greet her and bring food... right? ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

Her house was built similarly to her father's house so now she's That One Neighbour with a house not matching the area's style. I recorded myself building it from scratch but one time OBS didn't record my game so around 8 hours of building were just POOF gone. I was so pressed about it, I deleted the whole thing!! (｡•̀ ᴖ •́｡)💢

Juno slowly acclimated herself to living on her own. Pictures of her relatives proudly hang in the hallway, right beside her medal cabinet. The silence of the house fills her mind not with somberness or solutide but with appreciation for her family and anticipation for the future. There's no way she'd ever feel lonely while knowing her kin live just up the plateau in Shady Acres. 💜

Marely a week in and she already had to call Mirage to come over and upgrade the washing machine for her. You know how companies build appliances nowadays, planned obsolescence and all. He was more than happy to help and upgraded the dryer too while he was at it. Now Juno can enjoy her laundry smelling flowery and being perfectly dry while in her cosy laundry room, savoring the views.

Well, Juno is appreciating other views, too. Particularly, a certain ginger conspiracy theorist who runs the local Curio Shop near the busier street. There's a lot of colander-wearing folk in the area, she found, and this peculiar erratic man caugh her attention. ✨ It took her 10 days to finally check out the booth and it went pleasantly well. The man was excited to share his theories and Juno liked alien paraphernalia so much she bought a poster. This acquaintanceship surely will be nurtured in the future!! (ᓀ⩊ᓂ)

[theonetruegnome]

The sixth course

After literally seven hours writing and brainstorming and no sleep, it is supper time my children. Gather round! We now have the shift of everybody's favourite good boy, Dogday! Introducing

MunchyPup!

MunchyPup is the group foodie, and it isn't hard to deduce for yourself! The candyfloss dog always has something in his mouth, be it a light snack, second breakfast, a ball or just gum. His appetite and metabolism are frankly startling, being able to eat a full seven hobbit meals on a good day and only feel the teensiest bit overstuffed. Some people may think him greedy or that he's putting on an act, and yes, he does sometimes feel he eats too much, but he can't really help how fast his digestion is, so it doesn't bother him too often.

You may think that he ends up as a sort of side character in most of the gang's adventures, feeling more like someone's younger brother tagged along because mum said so, like so many of the pink critters, but Munch actually ends up being one of the focal ones in the group's activities. He, of course, brings the food for the group picnics and camping trips, as well as packed lunches for when some of the others go off on their own separate adventures from the main group, even with little notes saying 'We all love you' or 'I'll still be here, no matter what'. He also sometimes ends up helping Picky's shift (no spoilers!) plan the group's activities and, when necessary, discipline them for misbehaving, acting as her #2 in command.

He has also created diet plans for each of them to help with specific goals or issues. For instance, Conk has been ordered to consume more nuts and chamomile, as well as taking fish oil to help regulate his sleeping schedule. It doesn't help much, but Conk tries to keep it up because it's better than nothing. Leah has spinach, eggs and raw salmon on her plan, both to help with her anxiety and to try to get her to grow more, as she's very short due to years of malnutrition from being bullied. Callum is given chicken to keep his fur silky and smooth. MunchyPup tried to get him into mousing, also for his fur, but Callum couldn't bring himself to finish them off once he'd caught them. Munch then tired just serving the mice, but Callum still felt bad for the mice and didn't like the taste, so just sat there looking sadly and guiltily at his full plate.

All in all, Munch's home life is quite good! He has two younger brothers, one who is two-and-a-half and the other who is now six. His parents used to alternate staying home when they had only to raise him, but when his brother was born they both had to work almost all week to keep the family afloat, leaving MunchyPup at a very young age to care for the house and raise his brother, Darner, feeding, bathing and playing with him. When their third son was born, the family thought things could only get worse. However, Munch yet again took up the mantle and cared for yet another brother, this time with help from Darner. The split workload allowed Munch to get some odd jobs around town and, with three of the family working together and some days with everyone going hungry, they managed to keep the roof over their heads until his mother could find a better job. Sometimes, the two parents regret taking Munch's childhood from him by having Darner and Harper, but to MunchyPup they were some of the best years of his life, and the three brothers have grown only closer because of it.

and now, an after dinner trivia mint:

He can stand on his head for over forty-five minutes without vomiting and once did so for a bet with Eli. Eli conked out at 7 minutes 33 and when he woke up Munch was still upside down.

Once when the gang went to the movie theatre, everyone bought regular snacks except Munch, who brought a large punchbowl of sliced melons. He finished it before the climax of the film as well as at least half a pound of popcorn.

Despite encouraging the others to eat healthily and responsibly, his favourite meal is a tomato and French-fry sandwich with extra mustard.

As a joke, Conk and Dandy got he and Picky's shift (no spoilers) matching mugs for fathers' and mothers' day. They say 'no.1 Mom' and 'the best Dad ever'.

The first words Darner ever said were 'Buvver!' Munch still thinks about it sometimes and feels as warm inside as if he's drunk a bowl of home-cooked soup.

Finally, his charm is a sack lunch with picky's charm on the front (see below) and his scent is fresh mango.

[brights-place]

A/N: I made this in 2am Im so tired and anyways here’s An special Halloween Headcannons of welcome home! Let’s enjoy these Headcannons even though this is a very early Halloween post :DD

Halloween Headcannons with “Welcome Home” Characters

You and sally like to go to Julie’s house so you three can show each-other your costumes.

When you want to add some finishing touches to your costume you ask Julie and sally for help.

Wally tried to convince you to match with him with an Angel and Devil costume like a “Matching Couple” costume you thought it was cute but wanted to do your own costume Wally was sad but understood.

You visited Howdy’s to buy some candy and noticed his Ghost costume beside him was Poppy who was buying things you ran to poppy and continued to tell her how her Pumpkin costume is so cute “Well Later Once im finished making Pumpkin pie you can come over if you would like?” You nearly cried at Poppy due to her motherly figure and howdy laughed at how you looked at Poppy “Poppy Look She/He/Their Close to crying for how sweet you are” poppy started getting worried hut you assured her nothing was wrong and said ‘You are a gift’ poppy heart was aching

You bought the stuff you needed and started chatting with howdy about your plans for halloween.

Howdy enjoyed how you were bursting with joy about Halloween (If you don’t like Halloween ignore this one!)

You planned on buying food and watching horror movies and pranking kids if they decided to poof into the town.

Returning to Julie’s house you waved hello to Eddie and frank who waved back with a smile on there face.

Heading inside Julie’s you noticed the two surrounding a bowl of candies “What are you? OH DANG THOSE ARE (Favourite Candy/Sweet) LET ME JOIN THIS CULT” you joined the two.

Eddie knocked on the With frank but heard nothing frank sighed taking out a spare key Julie had given him he clicked the door open and walked inside the dark house.

Flicking on the lights he and Eddie jumped seeing the three of you dancing around a bowl of (Favourite Candy/sweet)

Frank gave the weirdest look while eddie laughed.

Eddie motioned you guys to leave julie’s house “Wally is hosting the Halloween party this year come on” you guys walked over to Wally’s and. You smiled greeting house only reciving a *Creak* and a *Squeak* in return.

Heading inside everybody separated you in the living room talking with howdy before noticing Eddie and Frank in the corner of the room.

Both do them blushing and smiling at each other you couldn’t help but squeal silently hearing Eddie compliment frank is costume and frank doing the same.

Howdy noticed this as-well and glanced at you when You slowly raised up a Polaroid camera and took photos of the two and ran away once frank noticed you and the camera

“SHOW MERCY FRANK” you screeched running to Julie while frank chased after you while Eddie laughed at the scene seeing you and him run around in circles.

Barnaby walked out of the kitchen with Wally both chatting and noticed the commotion.

Now Standing beside Eddie Wally tilted his head confused but chuckled “LET ME GOOOOO” you yelled wiggling in franks grasp as he held you upside down while you flapped your arms “No” Frank said.

Julie entered with sally inside the room after they went outside to give poppy a hand with food both of them were even more confused seeing you upside down.

the two laughed along with the others as you begged for mercy seeing frank eat some of your candy as revenge making you wail.

Wally walked towards you and smiled wearing his lil devil costume and helped you up Barnaby by his side.

You grinned “Nice Vampire and Devil costume guys” Barnaby smiled “Not bad costume either! I like the (Insert costume) I like it very much” Barnaby said crossing his arms nodding.

Wally smiled “I like it too” you grinned at him and turned your attention to Eddie “Eddie here I took the photos just for you” You said handing the Polaroids do him and frank you took moments ago “I’m keeping one for my Memory Book” Eddie grinned “Thanks Y/N”

Wally smiled calling out to everybody to get ready for a group photo.

Rushing over the group huddled together smiling at the camera “Say happy Halloween!” Wally said grinning everybody shouting out “Happy Halloween” at the camera with smiling faces.

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

So much has happened that I don’t know how to keep this short. In short, A moved in with me and my parents. We lived together for 3 months. The bomb exploded. We broke up.

  In detail, she lived with us during the 3 months. And those three months were hell. It had been hell for a while before while we were in distance. But I told myself being together would fix it. A was abusive. Mentally, and sometimes nearly physically. She didn’t want to hug me. She didn’t want to talk to me. She would have mood swings, ignore me, and talk bad about herself so I would contradict her, when in fact she was saying the truth, and me contradicting them were lies. She didn’t want to talk to my mother because she claimed my mother had been mean to her. But she got it all wrong. They had a falling out because A kept being unfriendly and moody towards my parents and me. I forgot to count the times she made me cry, and I hid away to shed tears because otherwise, there’d be more fights. My mom witnessed about 20% of those tears. A didn’t talk at mealtimes, she complained about the food, she refused to communicate, and whenever somebody tried to have a conversation, she would shut it down, run away. And to me… she was just not good. I had to convince her for everything. She was between German books pretending to be studying when really she was on her phone. When she wasn’t doing that she played on the playstation, which she bought shortly after arriving here. She played and worked and didn’t speak. She also didn’t look for jobs, which had been our agreement. Instead, I looked for jobs for her. I wrote I don’t know how many motivation letters and showed her interest in jobs, used my contacts, drove her to interviews, made sure we would find something, recruited my parents to help me. But nothing worked. She gave up. On me and herself I believe. She got distant. My mother talked to me telling me this wasn’t how she had imagined it. A kept throwing punches and everybody had to accept it. My mom cried so much. She was so unhappy because I kept telling her to please just ignore A’s behaviour, when it was making my mother feel uneasy in her own house. She was disrespected and yet she swallowed it all. She didn’t complain. Just once she told me something.

I care about my mother. I cared about A. So I had a talk with A. I told her that my mother didn’t understand what she did for A to not talk to her and ignore her with hatred in her eyes. That conversation didn’t go as planned. I was very careful with my words, tiptoeing on eggshells. A burst out and ran away. Literally. She ran off. She didn’t tell me where she was. She left and I had to look for her for an hour. I found her in a street, walking. She told me my mother was horrible to her and smiling in her face when she was crying (that didn’t happen). My mother had not done that. They had had a conversation about a falling out. My mother mad huffed in disbelief. You know when you pull your mouth upwards and let out air? Yea, that. Not a laugh. I explained that but she wouldn’t listen to me. My mother explained it, but A didn’t listen. She kept saying how she was being disrespected and how she wasn’t being let to be the way she is. She said they had to let her feel her feelings, that she was mentally ill and we didn’t leave her room to be sick. I mean… maybe, but being sick is no excuse to treat people like shit. I am sick too. My dad is sick. God, he was in a psych ward for 3 months for severe depression and suicidal thoughts. And yet he doesn’t let it out on others. After that day A stopped talking to my parents and refused to come down or eat. My dad got angry. He told me it couldn’t be they were feeding her through, putting a roof over her head, letting her stay for free, and she didn’t even try to look for jobs or learn German and instead spent all the day on the playstation. He had a point. I tried to let A know nicely. I wanted to find a solution. Things got worse. She didn’t leave the office and was staring at her German books from morning to evening. We had to have a talk. At night I told her about. I told her it couldn’t keep going like this. By that time she had not shown me she cared for me in any way. She didn’t listen to me. Nothing. She ignored me. And when I tried to talk about it she faked a panic attack or had one of her crisis where she would hit herself and cut herself and destroy my bed by slamming her body against it. The past years I always excused that behaviour. I excused that I had to think for two people and organise two lives. When we went on holidays, I accepted that she didn’t speak to me, that I had to go to the beach and the pool alone while she stayed in bed, that I had to bring out the trash and do the cleaning and pack the suitcases all by myself. But I got tired of that. On the day of the talk, we sat down at the table. My parents, her and me. My mother said there was something there had to be done about this. A got aggressive, kept chattering her teeth. My mother told her two things and she asked, very aggressively, so what is the third one. My dad snapped and told her in a very bad tone that her whole attitude was the problem and that she was disrespectful. She went on a rant about her feelings and how they were being invalidated, that nobody listened to her and people laughed at her. My mother huffed. A said that my mother was doing it again, the laughing.

My mother explained that had been no laugh. A didn’t listen. My dad said the best thing would be for her to leave and come back when I had my own place. I kept crying all the way through. The people I loved were hating each other. I didn’t want it anymore. I broke down and had a panic attack. A didn’t care. It was my mother who held me and counted breaths with me. My mother who begged A to give me a hug. My mother who stayed by my side. A kept saying my mother had laughed at her. I told her she had to leave. She threw herself on the floor. I packed her suitcase. In my head, A would come back later. I was in panic mode. Frantically looking for solutions while crying. She turned the tables, laid on the floor and started hyperventilating. Screaming. I couldn’t take it. My mother helped her. We booked the flight. Then she made phonecalls. Told her dad we had thrown her out like a dog. Her dad texted me he would call the police if we didn’t drive her a ride to the airport right now. There were 9 hours left for the flight to go. I couldn’t leave home until 2 hours later because my dad was expecting a very important letter for his sick leave because of the psych ward. Had nobody been home when it reached us, he would have been called to court. My dad wasn’t home because he went to the osteopath appointment I had taken for A, which was uncancellable but A refused to go, so my dad went… With her dad’s message about the police, I snapped. I yelled that if she wanted to leave so badly, she should just leave. My mom would drive her. I was in no state. I could not drive. I would have killed us both on the road. I would wait for the letter. I calmed down. Wanted to say goodbye properly. She refused to talk or look at me. Which is valid, but she did it in a way that showed me that the love between us was long gone. Had she loved me, she would have agreed to talk it out, to sit down on that table like a grown-up not like a 3 year old. So she left. Without goodbye. In the car, then, she called me. I told her I couldn’t do this anymore. That it was all too much and I was tired. I told her I needed space. She always does this: refuse to talk and then text or talk, instead of having conversations. And she does that in the worst moments, mostly when I am driving, about to work or about to have very important meetings. She did that while I was on the way to my interview for my new position. I cried in the car, nearly drove into a tree, and arrived to my interview all lightheaded with bags under my eyes. Even the lady responsible for me noticed and texted me the day after. For the next days, A kept texting and calling when that’s what I asked her not to do. Even that, she didn’t respect. I had asked for space, but got none .There had been so many red flags along the way, all of which I had ignored, all of which started had blinking and growing until the day of the clash. Until I could not take it anymore. After all the calls, I told her if she kept talking to me, I’d have to block her. She kept talking. I kept my word. I blocked her. She kept sending emails. Then: a goodbye letter. She was gonna take her life. She sent that to me the one day before the first day of my new work: 9:45 pm “I’m gonna commit su!c!de now. Goodybe”. 10:00 “don’t talk to my family. Their letters will reach them in time”. 10:45 “I’m in the ER. they sent me home.” 11:30: “I’m in the ER, in an emergency therapy session”. I had gone to bed exhausted at 9:30. I didn’t receive those messages like raindrops but all together in the morning. Not just any morning. At 6am after waking up for my very first day of work at my new school. I was shattered. I panicked. I sobbed. I couldn’t drive. Had a panic attack. My dad had to drive me to work. I was a ghost. I blocked the emails. Blocked every single account she knew. I got better. Things were starting to be okay. Then: a new email, from a new address. I deleted it. She went over to harassing my friends. I told them to block her.

Then I got a WhatsApp from her friend’s phone. Telling me to give her a chance and listen to some audio and read some letter. I answered saying that I please wanted to be left alone. It was all I asked for. I blocked that as well. Then a 14-page letter came by snail mail. I refused to read it. I felt lonely. Got bumble. Met somebody. We have been together for 2 months now. Is it too early to say anything for sure, but oh boy, am I learning who I am and what a healthy relationship can look like. My needs are met. So are hers.

We talk, we fix things, we communicate. And I’m better. I’m falling in love, not into foolishness. It’s different. It’s slow and safe and grounding. Then I read A’s Tumblr (cause I am that stupid) and crumbled. She blames me. Says I have a pretty face and pretty words but that doesn’t equal a pretty soul. I think that’s very unfair with all the things I have quietly put up with but if she needs to demonize me to get over me then I’ll let her do that. But it does hurt. And I’m tired. Then, more emails, in the spam folder and from new accounts that she keeps making. I received one telling me how much she loves me, that she wrote a poem for me, asking for a second chance, for meeting up, and that if I really wanted to end things, I should tell her to her face please. And out of all the things she has ever done that I have never once said a thing about because I was scared, I’d hurt her, this is by far the worst.

I am asking for space, for respect, and what do I get? I am being smothered and a very clear request is being ignored. Like all my needs over the years basically. And the more she ignores it, the more I see her for the person she really is. If she cannot even respect that I need time and space, is there anything she will ever respect? Is there anybody she cares enough about to listen to them and try to understand and give space? Is there any chance of her ever making things not about her and her illnesses and her needs and her past and her trauma? Probably not. Can she change that? I don’t know, but I know I cannot take that anymore. And those 3 emails, on top of all the other things she did to prove to me that she has no respect, made my choice even more clear than it already was. So I answered. A very short text. No sentimentality. I could have said a thousand things, given a hundred reasons, but that would have shattered her. And I didn’t want that, so I held back. I just answered that this was her sign that we are over and that our relationship is not coming back, that she should stop being in love with the idea of me, to please stop talking to me, that otherwise I’d change my email and phone number. There are so many things I could have said, could have thrown at her, could have blamed her for, but I decided I should protect her and that I did not want to hurt her more. I asked her not to answer, just accept my claim. Of course, she didn’t respect that wish. Again, she disrespected me. She sent me 3 emails. The first said “don’t even bother, we are over”. The second was “you are a liar”.

The third one was super long. It called me a cancer that traumatised her, blames me for all the bad in her life, tells me I am a horrible person, that she is sick of me, that I am lazy, a liar, that I deserve only bad things, that I manipulated her, that she hopes I will forever be alone and that I will end up being an old cat lady, that she was the best thing to ever have happened to me and that one day I will realise that and cry about it, that I won’t be able to sleep out of guilt while she falls asleep peacefully every night, that she is done being nice to me, that I ruined her mentally, that she wishes she had died instead of meeting me, that I don’t know how to love people, that I am an immature traitor, that I am selfish, demand respect and love and work and compassion while giving none of it, that I lie to people to make them love me and then destroy them, that I wasted her time, that guilt and remorse will forever follow me, that I disgust her, that I don’t deserve peace, that I was the problem all along and that I was lazy while she worked on herself, that I am a hypocrite, that I am cold, fake, that I lost the only person to ever really give a shit about me, that I am disgusting, that I traumatised her, that I don’t listen, want everything my way, am unable of empathy, humanity or humility, that I don’t learn, that I am full of shit and give myself excuses to not work on myself, that I am a disease, that nobody will ever give a shit about me and that by leaving her I destroyed my own life and that she will find somebody much better than me, that my guilt will follow me everywhere I go, that I will never be forgiven, that I will try to sleep and she will pop up in my head and I will know that she was the one and I will cry about it and she will be resting like an angel, that nobody will ever be as good as her, that I will try to get her back and she will not let me. She says I am immature and use people, that I play the victim role all the time, that I am egoistical and self-centred, that I think I am the centre of the world, that her life is so much better since I left, that I am a coward, that I wasted her life, that my ego is too big, that I am to blame for it all, that I am cold and untrustworthy, that I am cruel and refuse to apologise to her for the agony I put her through, that I will forever be alone, that she is sick of having to be kind to me, that I don’t deserve kindness, that I spit on the memory of her grandfather and her mother, that I am full of shit. That stung, partly because she is twisting the narrative in her favour, when she really she is describing herself not me. Who wrote all the motivation letters? Who wrote her thesis? Who was there when she slit her wrists and threw her head and body against the bed over and over, when she punched walls and windows and mirrors and nearly faces until her knuckles blead? Who held her hands when she was hitting herself, when she nearly hit me, when she told me the most horrible things and later forgot about them, when her mother died, when her grandfather died, when her uncle died? Who put up with being tyrannised by her mother again and again and again, who kept quiet when I got insulted?

It was me. It was all me. And this is the return. I never stopped being kind. I just asked to be respected. And if that is too much, then I don’t know what else to do. So I read the 14 page letter. It was full of shit. Saying she loves me and forgives me (for???) and that she forgives only me and not my parents, that they are bad and manipulate me, that she isn’t really sick but got a wrong diagnosis, that she is not bipolar and doesn’t have rage issues and that it was all the meds she was taking (meds she was taking because she went to a therapist because of her issues and they were so bad she got put on medication), that now she was happy and she wanted to work on us and be happy together because we deserve that. She said she would accept my apology and to please unblock her if I cared about her at all because not seeing my picture reminded her of her dead mother.

And I wonder, how can she have written this, and two weeks later an email full of hate and resentment? The first one must have been more manipulation and the second, the other side of the coin, because if good words can’t lure me in, maybe she can guilt me into getting back with her. None of them worked, so she became an angry toddler throwing a tumblr tantrum. But it’s okay. I am okay. I didn’t answer. And left the email standing in my spam. I read it from time to time to remind me of the future I spared myself from. I am starting be happy. I am starting to see what life can be and what it can mean to be healthy and balanced. D isn’t saving me. D is showing me what adult love can be. How two people with the same love language can function together and individually. How we don’t save each other but have our own independent and autonomous lives that are enriched by the other.

I’m okay. Things will be okay. This week I will get the keys to my new apartment. Things are falling into place and I will be just find. Maybe even happy.

So yea, Charlie. This is what life has been like.

Thank you for listening.

Yours always,

Lena.

10.12.2024

[bejeweled-girl]

Storyteller

Mako from The Legend of Korra

description: Mako is a teacher than owns a library. All of his students love his storytelling.

contains: just Mako being teacher, his students like him

requested by @princeasimdiya12

a/n: thank you for request! Hope you like it😊

Mako wakes up to birds chirping outside. It’s sunny today and the sun was warming his skin. He yawns and checks the time. His school starts at 8 and it’s already 7. He rushes to the bathroom to get ready. When he’s done, he goes to bakery next to his house to get pastries for breakfast and lunch. He lives kind of far from his library so he does have to hurry but his students usually come later. He’s unlocking the door when someone greets him. “Hi Mako,” said Asami. “Oh hi I didn’t notice you.” “Yeah I just saw you and wanted to say hi,” she said. “I just opened the library and need to prepare everything so it was nice seeing you Asami.” “You too Mako. Have a nice day!” He wished her the same and opened the door he was standing in front of the whole time. He bought this library 2 years ago and it still amazes him how many people come by every day. He also didn’t expect that a year after he bought it he would teach people. He likes the job. Parents either pay him or give him some food they make. He cleans up the furniture and prepares papers with books. The library isn’t huge but big enough for bookshelves and tables. The bell rings and few of his students go inside. They greet Mako and go sit by the table. In 20 minutes all of his students are present. They are different ages from 5 to 17. And sometimes older if they don’t know how to read. But one thing everyone says is that Mako is the best storyteller. His voice is so smooth and it makes everyone fall asleep. Whenever someone new comes all the students gather and tell them how amazing he is.

His teaching technique is working. Sometimes they read loudly or to themselves. Or they write little stories. It’s different for everyone so they feel like they can learn it themselves.

“Okay so today it’s up to you what we do. Give me examples and we’ll see who wants to do what.” Mako tells everyone. Everybody looks around and they know what they want to do.

“Please Mako can you read us stories from your diary?” Asks little girl who’s eyes are red like fire. Mako smiles and pets her head. “Of course I can do that. Make yourselves comfortable I will read you some of my adventures.” He gets up and grabs his diary that’s sitting on his table near the door. As he’s sitting back down all the chatting among students quiets down to few whispers but mostly quiet silence. Mako also opened door to the library so people can come in and read or listen to him. “The story starts with a man that wanted…” The story goes on and everybody’s waiting for the happy end. “And then the girl came back home and her parents were happy again.” He closes the book and gets comfortable on the little sofa. It’s late afternoon and everyone in the library is sleeping. The door is closed and nobody makes a sound. It’s peaceful. Until one person wakes up and goes home then it’s time to go home. They thank Mako and make their way out. Mako cleans up and locks the door. He’s walking home with little smile on his face. Sometimes he whistles little tone and jumps a bit. It’s kind of late when he gets back so he does few things before he gets undressed and falls in bed tired. His adventures ended but only in real life. In his head they continue to grow and make his diary more full. He’s asleep now dreaming and slowly breathing.

[extraclwnporeal]

Steve Harrington sucks at keeping secrets.

(That one is long and english is not my mother language).

Steve can remember it — even though he was 7 at the time. Tommy stopped by Harrington's house and rushed to Steve's room. All of sudden there was a young and freckled and smiley Tommy shaking Steve to make him swear to keep it a secret that he kissed Carol for the first time.

The morning after, all of school knew. Steve didn't do it because he was mean, he just couldn't tell that it was something bad or unworthy of being proud upon — his best friend kissed a girl, after all. Carol did kick Tommy's ankles for telling Steve, and Tommy did give Steve a two day long silent treatment for telling the whole school, tho.

He couldn't even keep his own secrets, dear God. Steve's travels and grades and hook ups and hated foods were everybody's business, if it depended on him. Of course, that extended to his personal, personal life.

Steve Harrington always knew he was bi and was cool with it, since, well, everyone just assumed he was straight. There was no risk on it if everybody just assumed otherwise, he figured. The way he eyed guys at trainings and spent too much time alone at Tommy's house and had a soft spot for his swimming team couldn't mean anything, Steve's a ladies man after all, isn't he?

Yeah, he was fine. Until he met Eddie.

The day Steve met the metalhead, the DM, the guy Dustin couldn't shut the fuck up about, he was lost. Eddie was a magnet to Steve's eyes, his voice was melodic and all his manners made Steve smile, how did he do that? Suddenly he understood why his kids kept telling Steve how he and Eddie would get along just right — Steve hoped they would.

Eddie walks by and Steve has this impulse to just follow the guy with his eyes, not really caring who was around — especially if they're alone with the party. Time goes by and it gets worse, because now they know each other. Oh, Eddie was prone to talk to Steve now, to spend time alone and have their own inside jokes. And Steve's infatuation wasn't just glances anymore: he got vocal about it.

He compliments Eddie's curly hair, his handmade or customized clothes, the eyeliner Max bought for him, his painted nails and smiles and the way he light up the mood every time he enters a room. Yeah, Eddie is always willing to listen to any sort of rant Steve might go by and not make him feel dumb about anything he says. Steve feels safe and that's new, that's good. He might feel he's developing a massive crush but, yeah, that should be predictable by now. Predictable and pretty much noticeable.

Robin was a genius, Steve's sure of it. She could tell a musical note by ear, learn a foreign language in the middle of a crisis and is pretty good at acting her way out a situation. It doesn't matter that much, of course, because you don't need to be a genius to notice when Steve have a crush: you just need to be his friend.

Steve would go on full debates about Eddie and she would engage him on it.

“I swear, Robin, his hair is so soft, someday I will touch it if he lets me.”

“Oh, tell me about it, dingus.”

And he does. All day along, if she gives him the freedom. He does it because Robin's a safe person, and it's fun, it's so fucking fun it's unfair — be all giddy and silly and keep talking about a guy with his best friend, God. And she doesn't know he is well aware that it is a crush, just letting him be. Until, of course, she points it out — because it could be dangerous for him to go on and tell everybody about other guy's cologne and shit —, and all he says is a shy “hm, well, I know?”. She looks at him dead in the eye.

“What do you mean by 'I know'?”.

“I'm bi, Robs”.

Her eyes are wide. “Then why the fuck did you get so nervous when I told you I'm a lesbian?!”

“Don't be unfair, I wasn't nervous! I'm just not good at keeping other people's secrets.”

And she couldn't argue with it. He is shitty at hiding that kind of thing even if it is about himself, you know.

Dustin knows — he is the second one to do so. Of fucking course he knows. Because the little prat is always there, gravitating between his two older brothers for enough time to notice that they were always glued together, intertwined in their little world. Enough time to notice how Steve's eyes lit up as soon as Eddie entered the room and headed straight for him. Enough to notice that they were both smiling more, talking more, a little happier. And of fucking course he went straight to make fun of Steve.

When Steve was driving Dustin to a D&D session — what he, suspiciously and enthusiastically, volunteered to do —, they were both in silence. Steve was smiling like a dork and Dustin eyed him curiously. All of sudden, he shouted: “Do you like Eddie?”.

And Steve almost crashed the car.

“Hey, watch out, you dick, I didn't die to interdimensional creatures yet so I refuse to die because of you!”. And Steve doesn't laugh, so Dustin is a little unnerved cause usually he would've. Yeah, he was tense.

“Sorry for being so straightforward, didn't mean to startle you”, Dustin says, softly.

Steve looks at him for the first time, eyes watering just a little bit by noticing the kid's tone was reassuring and sweet. He sighs — that idiot.

“It's okay if you like him”, Dustin assures, not keen on making fun of him anymore, “really”.

And Steve softens. Because why on Earth would he think that Dustin could be anything but supportive? He hugs Dustin. An awkward hug, cause he was on verge of crying and the positions in the car were weird, but a good hug nonetheless. “I do”, Steve says, “liked him for a while now. I like girls and dudes, okay?”.

Dustin smiles widely. “You were always greedy, man. Who knows about it?”

“Only Robin”. And Dustin winces.

“What?”

“I might have discussed it with Lucas too”. Okay, great. First Robin, and then Dustin, and now Lucas, which meant Max also knew. It was getting complicated.

“He's okay with it — I'm sure everybody in our group is —, and he told me that I should say that he's bi too, if it makes you feel better?”.

Steve shout him a look, a really, really confused one. “What?”.

Dustin shrugs. “They come in packs, man”.

And then, finally, there was Nancy. As if he wasn't going to be humiliated enough, his ex would find out how whipped he was for the weirdest guy they know. But, to his surprise, none of it was humiliating, not even awkward.

Steve was a touchy person, specially with loved ones. He was willing to hold hands, hug, kiss their cheeks; and Nancy did know it firsthand. And when she saw Steve not-so-subtly going out of his way to put his arms over Eddie's shoulders, to pet his hair — he finally got the pass to do it whenever he wanted, just 'as long as you don't ruin my curls, Harrington' —, or hold his waist from behind, the way he only did to his girlfriends, something clicked. She walked on them during a meeting in the Harrington house. Loud music, some weed, friends kissing: like the old times, minus the underage drinking.

Steve had a smiley Eddie by his side and a hand on his leg, drawing circles on his skin with his fingers while they talked. Then Eddie got up (getting a frown from Steve), to run to the toilet because 'Mother Nature is calling, sweetheart'.

And Nancy waltzed to him, two beers in her hands. Steve smiled brightly at her, saying a really soft and maybe a little drunk “Nance!”.

She handed him a beer. “Having fun? I kinda missed those parties, you know.”

And he looked around, his kids talking loud and laughing and Mike shamelessly eyeing the beers he was not allowed to touch. “I did, too”, he smiled, looking at her again. “What are you so smiley for?”.

“I was just looking at you, all happy talking with Eddie”, she took a sip from her beer can, and Steve blushed.

“I'm glad I got to know him better”. Even if it was in that shitty context, he almost added, but didn't — because why would he? Everything was okay now.

“You two are getting along, aren't you?”, she softly punched his arm. “I'm proud of you, I mean, you found someone that makes you feel all sappy”.

He looked at her deep in the eyes, maybe to find that spot of mockery he expected from everyone. But there was none. It was Nancy. The same Nancy that helped him study to graduate, laughed at his stupid jokes.

“Thank you”. He whispered. “He really does make me happy. The happiest”.

She grinned, like she always does when she makes a correct guess. “You deserve it”. And then she gets back to her old spot, listening to Robin and her rant about some new movie that her menager won't put on the shelves no matter how hard she begs. She smiles even more.

It's not a surprise that Eddie was the last one to know. Because what Steve had in obviousness Eddie had in obliviousness. Sure, Steve's words and acts were a little weird, but not in a bad way. Sure, his tummy was filled with butterflies each time Harrington leaned forward to better listen to him talk about his favorite bands, even though he knows Steve's not understanding shit. Sure, he was dragging Steve along his nerd shit and, sure, Steve was willing to be dragged. But that was because Steve was a gentleman. Felling funny next to him was natural and expected, because he is charming and touchy and really, really good at making Eddie laugh. So, he kind of accepted it. He was liking Steve. In love, if you will. And was pretty mad at himself for it — Steve Harrington, of all people.

So, months go by. And Steve is still in love, and Eddie is still in love, and none of them are actually doing anything about it. Until there's Christmas. And they were stuck together in Eddie's trailer because snow was thick and Eddie didn't want Steve to risk himself driving home.

They were watching The Grinch, cause Eddie said he liked the guy — enough to wear a ugly sweater with Grinch's face in it, telling Santa Claus to fuck off. Steve thought the green grumpy thing looked like Eddie, but didn't say so, because the blonde Who lady might look a little too much like Steve and that may be used against him.

They were cuddling on the couch, and that happened without much thinking. They just sat down and in the next moment they were as glued as it comes. Steve was playing with Eddie's hair, the movie almost on it's end. Eddie was holding on Steve's torso, seeking the warmth the weather wasn't providing that night.

Steve's hands lowered, caressing Eddie's back, and he shuddered.

“What's wrong?”, Steve asked, voice hoarse from being unused.

“Feelin' cold”, Eddie whispered. “Could you lay lower? I wanna hug you”. Steve didn't have to be asked twice. He lowered himself and was facing Eddie now. His nose and mouth red from the cold weather, making him look like a deer — with his pretty doe eyes.

Steve smiled, hugging Eddie and putting his chin on his shoulder. “There you go”. He felt Eddie's smile against his skin. “It's late, wanna sleep?”.

Silence. And then a silky voice ghosting his ear. “Could we stay here a little more?”. Eddie turned his face back at him, finding Steve's lips in a pout, and his eyes closed. Eddie's cologne really felt like heaven that night.

Steve opened his eyes, finding an amused Eddie in front of him. “What?”.

Eddie chuckled. “I'm trying to figure you out”.

Steve smiled. “What did you conclude so far?”.

“That you like to be held, and gets really beautiful when sleepy”. He said shamelessly. It was really late and his mouth had it's own mind now.

Steve blinked. “Do I?”.

Eddie's eyes also had their own mind now, flickering between Harrington's hooded eyes and his mouth. “You do, I swear”.

Steve got to catch Eddie's eyes on his mouth for a little too long. And whispered a low, low 'Eddie'.

Steve was trembling, just a little bit. Eddie was pretty and the night was perfect and all that rightness made him disconcerted, the butterflies in his tummy dancing like crazy.

Unbeknownst by him, Eddie was feeling the same. God, having a former ladies man in his arms on Christmas night was almost killing him, specially if said ladies man was looking so, so beautiful by dawn light.

They kissed, not sure about who started it, but glad enough it happened. They kissed for minutes or hours more, who cares. But they kissed, fucking finally.

And they didn't have the guts to get up and go to bed, so Wayne was the one to find the two of them sleeping on the couch the next morning, with The Grinch tape still on.

Yeah, Robin, Dustin, Lucas, Max, Nancy and Wayne: now them all knew. After all, Steve Harrington sucks at keeping secrets.

(Adapted from my twitter account @/sillycervero).

[coffinlid]

If y’all wanna hear some shit read below the cut. It’s a lot. Sorry 🩷

OK SO! Yesterday I go into work at 4 and one of my coworkers immediately tells me that the restaurant is closed Saturday. I was like oh ok…. Why? Like shut down for the day or…. And he said no like the business is shutting down forever. He kinda jumped the gun bc soon after the director of operations (Pete) gathers all of the evening crew around and lets us know the situation.

(I’m gonna try to explain some context without being confusing. The company I work for owns 3 restaurants. The restaurant I work at is technically not owned by them, but they manage it for the original owner/landlord. The landlord (who fucked off to the Dominican Republic because he’s in trouble with the law) saw our finances for the first time in like a year and decided to just shut it all down. He has no restaurant experience and doesn’t understand the concept of slow season in the food world. Yes, business has been slow since November. However, we are ALWAYS popping off spring-fall. Business BOOMS. Well. Landlord guy gave our company an ultimatum.)

Pete explains that himself, the CEO, and I guess some of the other corporate people tried reasoning with landlord and even just begged to let the restaurant stay open until spring when business picks up. Landlord said they could do 3 things:

1. Buy the restaurant from him for an astronomical amount

2. Continue to run the restaurant but with absolutely no financial support from him from now on (which we were already kind of doing for a year…)

3. Shut down the whole bitch

Our company can’t afford to keep the restaurant with no support so they had to concede to landlord and just shut the whole thing down. And it had to be on Saturday. There was no reasoning with him. This took absolutely EVERYBODY by surprise. EVERYBODY, including corporate and head management of the restaurant, got a total of 2! DAYS! of notice.

I could tell when I walked into work yesterday that Pete and my two managers had been crying a lot. I know the GM is gonna float between the other restaurants as a training coordinator, but I have no clue what’s gonna happen to the assistant manager bc there are no other management positions available in the company. She’s pretty much just been hung out to dry. With 2 days notice.

My front of house and back of house coworkers were all discussing where we’re gonna go from here and what the fuck we do now. 2 days to find a new job. Everybody was scrambling to get each other’s socials so we can all keep in touch. This fucking sucks dude. I loved coming into work just for my coworkers, not even the work itself. I know it’s a cliche that companies call themselves a “family” but honestly truly we really were a little family.

Pete wants us all to stay within the company if we can, and I know at least 3 of us are going to transfer to one of the other restaurants. It’s technically not the end of the world, at least for servers. But I have no clue if the other restaurants have any space for back of house employees. I know I’m never gonna see some of these people ever again.

And we have a whole ass brewery in the back. And we JUST CHANGED THE MENU AND INVESTED IN ALL THIS OTHER SHIT JUST LAST FRIDAY!!!! We had 1 week with the new menu and that’s it. Everything is completely stocked. There are so many fixtures and plants and technology, so much new merch that we just bought.

Somehow a mass text went out to all the other stores and restaurants on our street that we were shutting down and we had so many people walking in to share their condolences. But this text went out before most of the restaurant even knew about it. So when they came in some of us were like uh… what are you talking about…. How the fuck did that happen???? No one knows who sent the text.

On the bright side, I got a SHIT TON of sympathy tips last night and made almost $200.

It was going to be my last night since I wasn’t scheduled for the next 2 days but thankfully my manager added me to the roster for Saturday night. So I will be there for the end of it all 🥲

[princesscolumbia]

Summer camp where kids stay in a cabin for weeks - Getting less and less common, especially for urban kids. I did once work as a camp counselor volunteer at a multi-week place, but even back then (late 80s) the camp had to trim the duration to 1 week.

Tail gate party where everybody gathers at the boot back gate of their cars - Legit, to the point where I've seen specialized appliances that are gas powered (you'd call it "petrol," which honestly makes more sense) just for making food out of the back of a truck. And, btw, the "serious" tailgaters drive a truck and usually have their portable grills strapped in for the trip. (Sidebar: Why the hell do you call it a "boot"?!? There's nothing remotely boot-like about the back storage area of a vehicle)

Sororities and fraternities - Thankfully, this one is dying, but from what I've seen in popular British television that gets brought over to the States (esp. since the popularization of The Series That Will Not Be Named by the UK's own TERF-in-Chief), the "house" system of what we'd call a boarding school is fairly similar to the "Greek" houses, though for different age brackets.

Garbage disposal in the sink - Okay, just how do you NOT use these?! My last two apartments were built before these became Just A Thing Everyone Had Here™️ and it drives me ABSOLUTELY NUTS to not be able to dump scraps down the disposal! SO much better than having to scrape your dishes off into the trash where it just sits there and stinks up the place until the trash is full and it's finally time to take it out!

All of the disposable cups being those red ones - It's...cause they're cheap? I don't get the confusion.

Cheerleaders at sports - As someone who had their childhood dreams of being a cheerleader crushed by a TERF, I take exception to you NOT having cheerleaders!

Ranch Dressing (I'm still confused by what's in this) - "Wet" ingredients: Mayo & sour cream, "dry" ingredients: chives (green onion), parsley, dill weed, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper. Combine with wisk, jar or bottle and keep in the fridge. Recipes are plentiful online, but here's the one I used for that list. It's surprisingly good, even in the homogenized store-bought form, and goes on damn near anything savory. IMHO, blue cheese dressing is superior, but I'm aware I'm in the minority on that count.

Person who bags your shopping for you at checkout - Admittedly, this is one of those things that's going away, the two stores I primarily shop at don't have baggers, but this kicked off back in the post-WW2 era (if memory serves) as a way for grocery stores to compete when they couldn't slash prices any further without impacting their bottom lines. At the time, it was cheaper to hire someone to bag your groceries for you than any other measure to bring in customers, and before too long it became the standard...until commodification of food staples drove the cost down so much the baggers were more expensive than slashing prices.

[andersonpress]

#DEEPTHOTS: Alexa, Play NDA by Meg Thee Stallion

Dec 7, 2022

For New Years 2022 I decided to open myself up to my partner’s biological family, specifically their mom. I had remained pretty distant with their mom up until this point on purpose. Don’t get me wrong, parents love me (unless they're mine). I wasn’t afraid of building a new relationship so I could get to understand my partner more. But I don’t really know what it means to be a part of a whole again. It’s been so long since I’ve spoken to my own family. Just a month prior I had agreed to let my Dad come visit me at school after two years of no in person contact. The last time we met didn’t go very well. We ended the trip agreeing that it was best I take space from him and that we worked on our relationship via video and phone calls. Well two years passes and he says it’s about time we see each other again. We both felt like the calls were going well enough; I had just bought a house and no one in my family had seen it; and I was about to reach the 3/4 way point of my PhD program. “He will finally come and see me. Something must be going well.”

Spoiler Alert: It did not go well.

I left the interaction getting up from dinner, crying in my car, blocking him from my phone, and determined to never speak to him and a bunch of other members of my family again. I’ve kept the promise to myself so far.

So when it comes time to do the thing: be a family - I’m scared. I’ve tried before. Time and time again. It never aligns. Never feels right. But I already paid for the hotel. We spent New Years walking around the nation’s capital eating good food, walking around outside, and taking cute pictures. We argued, reminisced, and talked a lot of shit - as all families (chosen and biological) do. It was nice. Refreshing. The experience taught me not to bring my old baggage to new destinations. But so many things are easier said than done.

Moments in 2022 that hold space for joy

After terrible experiences with mentor relationships I was finally able to pass my proposal and my compositional exams (and snagged a Master’s too). When I was an Orientation Leader I always used to tell my students that college is all about them! My PhD program is about me - and it’s going to go my way. In order to get your way you will have to step on toes and ruffle everybody’s feathers. The real ones won’t see you as an obstacle.

After a year and a half together my partner and I moved in. I’ve met their family and they've met my mom. I always say that they are my parting gift from Pennsylvania. I don’t want anything else from this damn state.

I’ve booked several jobs in the curriculum and instruction lane that have expanded my teaching experiences. I was initially really afraid of not being able to find other competency instructors that worked exclusively with Black children but alas she finds community.

Despite my wildly bleak financial situation I have been able to go to the DMV area, New York, Texas, New Orleans, Detroit, New Jersey, and California. I continue to have an ever changing relationship to seeing new places and spaces!

I’ve stepped my music and deejaying game up to throwing my own parties and releasing original music. I’ve spent more time in my studio perfecting beats I’ve had for years. I’ve been sharing my music with more friends without fear.

I ‘graduated’ from going to therapy for four years straight. I was so scared to let go and rely on myself but it was time. I received so much amazing advice, keen insights, and practical answers. I feel lighter, more knowledgeable about myself, and able to communicate my boundaries and emotions.

“I aint say excuse me cause I did that shit on purpose.”

My therapist was so proud when I told her about the way I upheld my boundaries with my family, my colleagues, mentors, and close friends at the beginning of the year. So much so that she slowly started to help me see that after four years I might be trusted with understanding my own emotional regulation - go figure. She’d be happy to know I happily spent the rest of the year telling freeloaders to get out of my house. Telling entitled white women to stop playing devil’s ally and actually get some shit done. I told a few professors that I don’t agree with their teaching methods or with the way they handle graduate students. I told former friends to respect my boundaries or get the fuck on. And I told myself to get a fucking grip.

I am trying to break out of being a people pleaser. I have finally reached my boiling point of harboring other people’s issues. My patience is beyond worn thin. Someone on Twitter ranting about their own therapy sessions had ended up making a really good point. If you have to sacrifice yourself in order to get it - it’s not meant for you. Whether it was with housemates, biological family members, mentors, and budding relationships - I was keeping my feelings a secret. And as all secrets do, they come out. And in my case they often blow up in my face. And the faces of others. And that’s actually ok. You don’t have to accept people’s apologies, you don’t have to beat yourself up for coming to conclusions ‘too early’ or ‘too soon’, and all relationships are conditional. Maybe you don’t fit into other people’s expectations, sometimes the people you grew up with don’t end up being the people you grow old with, and sometimes…people literally just suck. You live, laugh, love as long as you can and work on yourself in the inbetween.

2023 Dreams

In 2023, I’ll work on my dissertation project, travel to far places, prioritize my wellness, make huge jumps towards my life goals, release some much anticipated writings, and continue to make my therapist proud. I’ve spent the past couple of years doing what I need in my program - I’m ready to start reaping my rewards.

[maurenislife]

i hate tiktokers and mf lifestyle youtubers

now before i say anything im not hating

im not even really hating on what you think cause i dont wanna be or have a desire to be known for anything cause thats not even my mode or my goal in life and i dont idolize anything cause im not a sad 16 year old who yearns for a image that i liked and bookmarked on the internet ANYWHO ...

everybody thinks your a instant hater cause ur just jealous...... umm newsflash u fucking junkie whore, whats not meant for me isnt mine to have and whats not done for me i can do myself it takes nothing to get a few coins and prance around in a marble counter cosplay

trust.

Moving foward this whole brigade of wannabe lifestyle whores

they all immolating and channeling which i think is quite impressive down to the candance and lingo etc. its impressive :) all the copy and pasting they do is quite impressive to see, and ill sit with a popcorn bucket and vape to laugh at it all cause its a waste of time.

a long time ago i stopped being jealous of certain lifestyles and things cause once u can attain them or find a way, or figure out how the sausage is made its not that hard and that isnt impressive or even likeable in any sense

people are immulating at a high frequency and the universe can sense imposters and non believers who do not live in. their truth and go cower in fear and just simply conform one thing they will never know if nobody can smell it the universe can sense it even if nobody can see, universe sees, it feels, it calls out, it grasps you

Everybody wants to potray and cosplay a shitty portray aina but what u dont know is lets say even if u make it big, get the sponsorships, the trips reap the benefits of u raping your own life with cameras and tripods what is it all for? fuck money, fuck the gift. fuck the family feeding for just 45 seconds what are you gaining in spirit?

like what in your femmine spirit and the many who have died along the way for you to get here are you proud the answer might still be yes just to stick it to me or it might be genuinely yes cause you in turn think you are very much a success i mean thats what you have been showed and by scoreboard standards band 4 band u beat a bitch >

you didn't though lame you didn't, the inner work didn't completed and i honestly dont give a fuck if a bitch got a isn't for me of why i dont know her and im not in her household,

bitch with your content I AM IN YOUR HOUSE, I AM IN UR BRAIN, your constantly gagging up information every-time u take a bite into a stupid food u bought cause of your audience and everytime u gag up information when you say spend the day with me

we see inside your frame even if its all a act what does that inherently say about you???

You give us yourself and think we got no right to comment

okay enough of jealous prefacing and putting the condom on for yall

Wannabes

These women grew up being ridiculed or extremely loved theres no inbetween because both have the ultimate libido and desire to be seen and heard and viewed in a certain light to get illicit reactions out of other people... its odd ngl

i look at my tiktoks and its all been jokes i crack on me or stuff me and my friends did drunk and just goofing im not saying everybody gotta take that route i do appreciate lifestyle influncers who serve the purpose of showing us the viewer and cost breakdown of spas or vacations or maybe even a resturaunt or things i might wanna go do

like who am i to get mad at them for the sake of curiosity and further knowlege on a place i intend to visit i never been like dope case closed type shit

But if you a wannabe ..........................................................

its a waste of time and energy and your soul and we see it bleeding out for a "look at me mommy" like its sad.....

you can tell the want the mommy to compliment their outfit and the sister to ask where did you learn to do your makeup? and the auntie to ask where can i get that slice of pizza

they want the overall appeal of who is gonna ask me

who is gonna notice me and with each clip you see apart of them kinda just yelling out to the universe not only notice me but award me for being noticed and nobody is gonna do that not even 1 million viewers can set you free,

COPIER

you know the one philposhy thingy of the barnyard picture and like idk ill have to look this up but basically to break it down simply

theres a pic of a farmhouse and soon it gains popularity every mf wants to go and soon its like a disney w a giftshop its copied and copied till it loses its meaning idk look that shit up its a real philosphy and its deeper than what im saying but i ont got time for allat yo

bitches copy till they mf face turn blue and they want it to have the same effect the 1st one did

but the reality remains your immulation ends there

your cleaning the same marble counter like everybody else

taking the same pic on that goddamn boat like everbody else

wearing the same oufit bookmarked and tagged on pintrest like everybody else

its a waste..... why do we need 567,000 copies of the same bitch doing the same shit its lost its meaning besides "you did it"

like ................... no

and i dont wanna be different either and throw my hand in and see who can do it better cause why its so dumb

live ur life like ??? u gone spend ur 20s and 30s chasing after whats not yours ............... no thx

[the-firebird69]

George Stephanopoulos On Holding Politicians Accountable For Election De...

You can hear him speaking in these eloquent and he's clear and he's saying that he's a giant and he's a prime and they all get ousted and Mac Daddy says no they ousted me and Ben Arnold. And they did that because they're related to us. So it's a bit of a mystery and it's going around and the guy who is the show host is also a Mac he's a massive **** to my husband but the subject matter was children of mine and I had them with me and they were at the house and Olivia was taking care of them as if they were her own and they were growing a little and one day I left with the baby. And she sort of figured it out and that's her story that she's not told anyone I left shortly after showing my husband our child and yeah I was mad at him because he was doing this routine with the abortion stuff I almost could kill him that **** **** **** he said I don't have any money to raise a child and I need a lot of money and he kept giving me money so I'm making children and we have a lot of money and I'm using it. But I was pretty mad at him for quite awhile however I may have been having him do it. Said it was spinach and there was a lot of the spinach around and everybody bought it and that was what made him nuts and I was doing it because I had to and the left and they thought it was Olivia and she panicked she told a few people and they started fighting over it. I didn't know where to go so I went to the governor's bunker and I had the child there and I brought life support and food and things to the baby and comforting music and I went there a lot and I had more babies and I raised them fast they grew fast they were big very quickly and it's a story of hardship this is our story and it's never been told. I guess he's saying I don't know should we say this so I see that. And I brought them a lot of things and I was teaching them from class work I was doing and I and I was teaching them some faster stuff and I was tutoring and they were learning a lot of things and I had to leave them with classwork for themselves and leave them on their own quite a bit and they got big and they're saying who am I no they knew I was the whole time and they knew why I was smaller I also on medicine. And I didn't tell my husband they had me on psychoactive stuff and it got him into it yay so it started off this thing and they don't have mates yet and they do not commingle it is illegal and I taught them correctly they are looking for their mate and it is something that is happening and it's going to go very well. We have several other things happening but they grew and they took over the bunk but they grew and they took over the bunker and they were learning a lot of things about the world and spying and what's actually happening and knew that they had to hide and get arms and eventually we moved but this guy George Stephanopoulos he was the one who was governor and it was trump and he fought with governor weld and lost and that's Terry Cheesman and they tied each other up and he couldn't get to the bunker because it was a way to scare people and try and blow people up and scare people and try and blow people up and things and it was relatively safe but we were always afraid and Dave is trying to get there to it made a big mess ere and George and others it made a big mess it's kind of a simple story but that's what happened

I'm very proud of what I did and he's very proud of me I had many children to follow and we started enclaves and they asked us to make more and have more brothers and sisters and you can imagine and in the future they find wives and you can hear them and the others find husbands and it works. We are onto getting this done and we're into making it work but if you're looking for us we don't know what to say.

Hera 

Zues

Reprove this to be printed and to go out.

Thor Freya

we use this as an example f teh morlock being turned on ok are out and un there. now too. it is a weapon they aim it at our cities we help now and need to. and it is a snow plow like mr plow this rules we do it now

and they move fst too tons

Olympus

It will be most likely 30% by the morning and it will continue we think until they're all out. They're also moving to where they think they can get down below and they're forming new townships they'll be like 10 of those around the city it is going to be intense and they're going to build castles.

Thor Freya

[purplesurveys]

1863

Do you remember what colour the street sign was at the house you grew up in as a kid?     If I remember correctly, it was white on green. I could also absolutely be wrong, though.

Before this one, when was the last time you took a survey? Did you rate it, and if so, how many stars?     I took it the other night. I'd give it a solid 8.5/10, it allowed me to be more insightful than other less intense surveys would make me be.

How old are you?     26.

Have you ever done an escape room? What was your opinion?     I haven't done one because I know I will be atrocious and have no contribution at all to the teamwork. I've never been good at puzzle/problem-solving stuff.

Do you own any antiques? Where did you get them?     Nah, not my taste. I'd rather see them from a museum hahaha.

What board games do you like?     Not really a fan.

How did you celebrate last Christmas?     We mainly attended family gatherings although it was more than our usual since everybody decided to throw something, lol. We must have gone to like 5 different sides of family in total.

Do you still live in the same city or town you were born in?     No. We moved away from Manila when I was around 1 or 2, which I'm guessing is because the place is just not conducive for a child to grow up in. Super polluted and can be dangerous if you find yourself in the wrong crowd.

What's your favourite kind of pasta to make?     I've never made pasta, but my favorite type to eat is fettuccine.

What did you want to do as a job when you were a kid?     I wanted to be an author, then a news reporter/journalist. So definitely not far off from where I ended up in as I still do a lot of writing in my day-to-day. :)

What was the last item you had to return to where you bought it from?     I don't think I've ever returned an item.

Are you expecting any phone calls soon?     Nope.

Have you watched Succession? What do you think?     I haven't.

Do you watch The Golden Globes? Do you even care?     I used to watch it before but tbh I didn't care much for it as I looked forward to the Oscars a lot more. If anything, I pay attention to it these days mostly to see what everyone's wearing.

When was the last time you saw your best friend?     A little over a week ago.

What room of the house are you in right now? Do you spend most of your time in this room?     I'm in my room, and yes I do spend lots of time here.

What was your least favourite class in high school?   Chemistry. Didn't understand it in high school, didn't understand it in college.

Have you ever tried vegan bacon?     I probably have at least once...? Hard to remember exactly though.

Do you have a storage area separate from your main house, like in a basement or parking garage?     Nah. Our main storage area is under the stairs between the 1st and 2nd floors.

When was the last time you lit a candle? What scent was it?     Close to three years ago; I eventually shifted to reed diffusers. The last candle may have been vanilla.

Have you engaged in negative self-talk today?     I don't think so.

Do you have many plans for the next week or so?     Not much besides work. My dad is coming home next weekend though, so we might do our routine visit to his side of the family by then.

Are you close with your cousins?     I am quite close with the cousins on my mom's side, yes. With my dad's, I can only think of one that I take a liking to. The rest are either too shy and hard to relate with; have differing political opinions; have drastically different personalities and upbringings; or are too aloof.

Have you ever been to a kids birthday party as an adult?     I've been to a handful. Usually of a much younger cousin or family friend.

Do you use a slang word for cigarettes?     No, I just say cigarettes.

What was the last app you downloaded on your phone?     A marble game, hehe. Similar to Zuma.

Do you keep your apps organised or categorised in any way?     Yes, I have 4 main tiles – one for K-Pop; one for all my online shopping/food delivery apps; one for social media and work group chats; and the last is for the iPhone basics like camera, calendar, settings etc. I like keeping it to 4 because my wallpaper is BTS and I like to be able to see the full home screen whenever I'm on it haha.

What did you have for lunch yesterday?     I skipped lunch yesterday, but today is my cousin's birthday so we had quite the feast with Filipino-style spaghetti, fried chicken, takoyaki, cake, and halo-halo.

Have you ever had to block a friend on social media?     Nah. I've blocked people I'm not very close with; or if I've stopped being their friend and the fallout had been messy. I've never blocked a friend while still being their friend lol.

Where in the world would you like to travel to?     I've been hooked to Q's Greenland lately and she's been making me want to visit Greenland.

Did you play The Sims when you were a kid?     I played The Sims 2 everyday like it was my last day on Earth.

How often do you eat fast food?     At least once a week.

Do you own a pair of gumboots?     Nope.

Have you ever been to any supposed haunted locations? Did you experience anything weird?     Sure. Most recently we stayed at a hotel that, well, my co-workers got the spookies from. Some of them apparently felt some kind of presence but given my apathy towards the paranormal, I couldn't say the same.

Do you know anyone who's had gastric bypass surgery?     I don't think so. I could be wrong, but right now I can't think of anyone.

When was the last time you wore a striped top?     Yesterday.

Are you a paranoid person?     Usually.

Do big dogs scare you?     No.

What actors do you really dislike?     Tom Cruise is one obvious one that gives me the ick.

How long does it take you to fall asleep? I kind of cheat because what I like to do is to doomscroll to the point of exhaustion, so it usually takes me less than 5 minutes. If I didn't have that option, it could take me 30 minutes to an hour.