#followed only by making holly gay as fuck

[kate-apologist]

i love that time paradox and atlantis complex are just an extended thesis statement of why artemis and holly are platonic soulmates but a romance could be more than a little disastrous between them and they're probably better off just staying besties

colfer said "what if at different books they were both exceedingly romantic towards each other see how poorly it goes for them in the moment???" and i gotta have respect for that

[mapleleafsunset]

ive made a horrible discovery the other day and i need to share it with the world. venn diagram of hollyleaf from warrior cats and goro akechi from persona 5.

help. i made this discovery weeks ago and i can't stop thinking about it ever since List of other similarities that i've found since creating this diagram - hollyleaf was nearly named crowkit, so nearly had a name related to crow. - both have fathers who are absent, and rejected them when they found out of their existence - both had the intention to reveal the actions of their parents that they / get back at their parents for something (in hollyleafs case breaking the code, in crows case just. everything about shido ever he fucking sucks) - mothers with suicidal ideation. reread sunrise the other day and realised although Leafpool doesn't go through with it she very heavily implies that the best option for her right now is to eat the deathberries that Hollyleaf presents to her, and only doesn't because she knows Hollyleaf would be unhappy knowing she ended her suffering. - Both have a period of timing acting as an unknown shadowy figure. The black mask, and Hollyleaf's return where it's not known who is helping cats around the clan and they are suspicious of her - theyre both gay. in opposite directions but both of these characters like the same gender as them. - the character who they are most popularly shipped with (being a gay ship) has another ship (which is straight) which is considered more canon. Cinder x Holly vs Lion x Cinder, and Shuake vs literally any ship with the protag that could be canon to playthroughs. - they both kill someone who is technically a teacher (headteacher, and ashfur has been a mentor) - the murders they committed were very much framed to look like an accident (hollyleaf attempted to make it look like ashfur had left the clan by pushing his body into the river so it'd never be found) Also in general the whole presumed dead thing happens in very similar ways. Both characters have a mental breakdown over the actions of their parents, not being able to live up to expectations/public image etc, and lash out at the people closest to them. This is then followed by some physical division being placed between them and the protagonists (the big engine room wall door thingy. and the cave in for hollyleaf), which means that they can't confirm if they were dead.

in conclusion these characters are freakishly similar and i dont know what to do with this information.

[moved-please-leave-me-alone]

i only know 2 weezer songs and they are buddy holly and in the garage. what weezer songs would you recommend to me, the weezer uninitiated

OK SO HONESTLY IT’S KINDA HARD FOR ME TO RECOMMEND SONGS WITHOUT RECOMMENDING FULL ALBUMS??????? SO UH My reccomendations are the following albums:

-Make Believe (my personal favorite!! Yes this will probably get My Weezer Fan card revoked)

-Blue Album (of course i do It’s largely considered One of The most influential pop-rock albums of its time)

-Pinkerton (but PLEASE understand this was made during a VERY low point in his life when he was in Harvard, depressed, and also having leg surgery. I know it’s already concerning that I have to warn this but please know this dude is. Strange.)

-Green Album (there’s a Song that Rivers claims he took 3 different drugs and wrote it about Gay transsexual prostitute sex. Guess which one!)

And while not technically a Weezer album? It’s an Fan-made album of Make Believe demos And HOLY FUCK PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN

SO yeah! Have fun! :3

[benryphobic]

benry is really hard to characterize but if you *have* to, here's some tips

use the rule "would scorpy say it?" you have to admit to yourself that you are trying to emulate this dude's general speech pattern. don't use how how he acts (that's weird) just use how he talks.

sidenote: benry is a lot more monotone AND whinier than scorpy is. use that to your advantage.

benry says random shit, yea, but it's for the purpose of being funny. benry saying "haha feetmans such a cringe loser" has not and will never be funny, no matter how in character you think it is. if your dialogue for him isn't a little funny, scrap it

canonical insults he uses are "clumsy boy, little child, chickhead" etc. think of how a 10 year old boy from a 90s movie insults a grown man. loser is still an option, but use it sparsely

tommy and him are (implied to be) friends. when benry said "let him go", he was talking to the science team about letting tommy die. not about the skeletons leaving him alone

benry has stated at least once that he hates gordon ("[blue] means I hate you.")

does benry actually hate gordon? a lot points say yes, some say no.

benry was meant to come across as annoying. he is annoying! and that's a good trait of his. straight man gordon and his side kick annoying benry is *good*

he comes across as really spacey, so lot's of "huh?" "what?'s in gordons direction. only does this if gordon is lecturing him and/or yelling (like I said: straight man gordon and funny benny are a comedy duo) we don't know if he does this on purpose or not

was *really* confused that gordons hand got cut off, but then proceeded to make fun of him for it. not maliciously! never maliciously. think of a child bullying a grown man that got the shit kicked out of him by toddlers.

if you want to write a hashtag deep hlvrai fanfic, benry...does not have any motivations. there's no secret motivation in the Deep Lore, the implication is that he's does everything bc hes a bored god

sidenote: the implication that he's a bored god came from holly, though it was followed up by "it was just scorpy being himself"

he has a lot of moments of genuineness ! not a whole lot, but enough to get attached. and by "genuine", i mean him going "bro what the fuck..." after gman didn't give him ps+. he isn't super emotive, but he isn't deadpan either.

can break out of gmans powers, and this freaks gman out. we don't know the implications behind this

he's the one that tricked bubby into going through with the "betrayal arc". it's also implied that he and bubby are the ones that gave tommy the beyblade, NOT the soldiers

outside black mesa, he refers to gordon by name and nothing else

he and coomer hardly interact, so you can be a little more free with how they speak to each other.

there's nothing to say he was raised in black mesa. if you want "black mesa corroded who i used to be", coomer. if you want "black mesa treated me like i wasn't even human", bubby.

he's chaotic, but not "gremlin who crouches and eats the couch" chaotic. more "i was eating lunch with my friend and some dude came and asked me if i was gay. i said, why, are you interested? and bat my eyelashes at him. he blushed at me, but then became angry. we dated for a bit but then i killed him :/". also probably calls things the wrong name chaotic

hes bisexual

[love-bokumono-fics]

WIP Wednesday - Trio of Towns

Trio of Towns has no shortage of wonderful works that are in progress. Some of them I know are years in the making and I always look forward to an update.

So here's hoping you find a new story to love!

If you're reading or writing a Trio of Towns WIP that didn't get featured today, please feel more than welcome to drop it in the Submission box and share with the rest of us! (When I only share 10 fics at a time, there's always something that's bound to be missed.)

Two in One - by PineconeTheKitten; WIP, 1/?, 1.3k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Ford/Wayne, Female Farmer/Ford, Female Farmer/Wayne; Characters: Female Farmer, Ford, Wayne, Dessie, Inari, Witchie

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Magic Revealed, Gods, Goddesses, Spirits

Summary: Ford and Wayne were once two people. Now they aren't. Holly doesn't know what to do. As it turns out, Ward is pretty into Holly, and she into him.

Two Individuals in Love can be Asexual, a Case Study - by chickadeequill; WIP, 1/?, <1k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Farmer/Ford; Characters: Ford, Female Farmer, Wayne

Additional Tags: Asexual Relationship, Romantic Fluff

Summary: After years of painstakingly avoiding romance, the town's eligible and single doctor Ford finds himself facing a simple question: is there room in his life for love? It seems the hardworking farmer just past the crossroads is still single as well, and Ford just can't figure out why she keeps declining advances from the other eligible singles in all three towns.

Watered-Down Ideals - by LemWrites; WIP, 3/?, 4k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Farmer/Ludus; Characters: Original Male Character(s), Frank, Megan, Hector, Colin, Noel | Noelle

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, ADHD, I gave a farmer adhd and anxiety, this may have more projection then intended

Summary: Join Steve, the newly appointed farmer in the Trio of Towns world, on a journey full of; useless gay pinning, being a disaster, self hatred and more!

Earth and Rebirth - by TheBeckster; WIP, 17/?, 66k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: Multi, Gen

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Characters: Holly | Nanami, Frank, Marlena, Wayne, Ford, Lisette, Brad, Carrie, everyone

Additional Tags: Undecided Relationship(s), Additional Tags to Be Added, lots of headcanons, Minor Character Death, Eventual Friends to Lovers, I'm not going to tag every single character, but they will all have a part in the story, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, New friends and found family, world building, Angst with a Happy Ending, Holly is an extrovert, endgame ship tbd, Cover Art

Summary: Holly considered herself fortunate to be living about as close to the dream as any young twenty-something could. A great family, a loving husband, and well, she'd admit their apartment was awful, but they'd be moving onto bigger and better things soon enough. She truthfully couldn't wish for more. But when an accident rips it all away from her, Holly finds herself seeking a change of scenery. Her Uncle's farm out in the middle of nowhere is the perfect place for her to hide to mourn. A familiar story with a twist or two.

Fire and Dew - by Juliko; WIP, 9/26, 73k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Yuzuki/Original Character(s)

Characters: Original Female Character(s), Yuzuki, Sumomo, Lisette, Colin, Wayne, Brad, Carrie, Shizu, Yaichi, Tatsumi, Omiyo, Umekichi, Lynn, Marlena, Daryl | Darius, Ittetsu, Moriya

Additional Tags: farming, Slice of Life, Drama, Family Drama, Family Issues, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Original Character(s), Major Original Character(s), Female Character of Color, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Past Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Adoption, Sick Character, Lulukoko characters won't appear in this fic, Falling In Love, Dorks, Ableism, Happy Ending, Romantic Fluff, Break Up, Past Relationship(s), Cows, Chickens, Sheep, Rabbits, Flowers, Stimming, Family Fluff, Bisexual Female Character, Pansexual Character, Lesbian Character, Children, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma

Summary: For as long as she could remember, Harper Leigh Maxwell's dream has always been to become a farmer, but her father's job makes it hard to do so, since it involves lots of moving. After graduating from college, she finally decides to take a chance and get her own farm. She's determined to make the most of this opportunity and do what she's wanted. In the process, she makes new friends, learns many new things, and faces many hardships. One of the friends she makes is Yuzuki Fujiwara, a mellow, sweet natured man from the town of Tsuyukusa who doesn't have the best constitution. The two of them form a strong connection that may even end up blossoming into love. But Harper's past might make things complicated, and when it threatens to catch up with her, she may find herself facing the demons from her pre-adoption early childhood. This is the story of two different people, with different interests, passions, and paths in life, walking the same dirt road every day...

Tiny Steps to Big Leaps - by Distracteddiddlin; WIP, 29/?, 28k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: Other

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Ford/Holly | Nanami; Characters: Ford, Holly | Nanami, Brad, Wayne

Additional Tags: Fluff, Developing Relationship, surprise parenting, rating and tags will update, NB Farmer, Idiots in Love, Wet Dream, Love Confessions, oh it's fucking started now, Mildly Dubious Consent, for like the smallest split second

Summary: Me while writing this months ago: what if I did that that Ford/farmer fic again but with a twist? Basically it's what if Ford accidentally became a single dad after the farmer meets him

Stranded - by TheBeckster; WIP, 2/?, 4k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: Gen

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Ludus & Siluka, Ludus & Iluka, Iluka & Siluka; Characters: Ludus, Iluka, Siluka, Tototara, Zahau, Caolila

Additional Tags: all aboard the childhood trauma boat!, Pre-Canon, Peril, Wilderness Survival, Mild Blood

Summary: Desperate for an adventure to break up the interminable boredom of a long summer, three kids set to the high seas and get way more adventure than they ever hoped for or wanted. AKA: Let's explore the Lulukoko Trio's shared childhood trauma!

Trio Of Towns - Figuring Out Love - by vampireprincess624; WIP, 6/?, 5k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: Multi

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Ford/Pixie; Characters: Ford, Pixie, Wayne, Brad, Lisette, Carrie, Noelle, Colin, Miranda, Frank, Megan, Hector, Other(s)

Summary: Pixie Fawn is left with a mess she has to sort out after leaving Ludus at their wedding because Ford, who had been away for seven months, appeared as a guest. But how is fixing things with the stubborn doctor more difficult than sorting things out with her ex husband-to-be? Are they destined to be friends or will their stronger feelings for each other lead to love? A lot of Ford/Pixie scenes where they figure out their love for each other. This is Part 3 to my series, Life In The Towns, and I strongly advise you read Part 1 (or at least the last few chapters) before this, but it should still make sense anyway. Hope you enjoy :)

The House That We Built - by CherryQDoodles; WIP, 2/?, 8k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Holly | Nanami/Ludus; Characters: Ludus, Original Characters, Lulukoko Villagers, Westown Villagers, Tsuyukusa Villagers

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, story building, Learning from the Past, Tons of fluffy moments, farmlife shenanigans, Festivals, Romance, Dark skinned MC, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: Nicola knew as soon as she was able to talk that she was very different from the family she was raised in. From her dark skin to her snow white hair she stuck out as the black sheep, but she loved them like they were her blood, and vice versa. But Nicola always dreamed of wanting more: to become a farmer. Growing crops, raising animals and everything in between! She just had to convince her father that she could handle the hard work within two years time. Follow Nicola's journey to becoming the best farmer she dreams of, and her adventures in the Trio of Towns!

Ford's Roses - by thelighthouse33; WIP, 5/?, 3k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Farmer/Ford; Characters: Ford, Female Farmer, Wayne, Megan, Frank, Miranda, Carrie, Brad, Lisette, Noel | Noelle, Colin

Additional Tags: My First Work in This Fandom, better late than never, Ford x Holly, Story of Seasons Trio of Towns, Harvest Moon - Freeform, Gaming

Summary: This is a story of how the doctor of Westown, in charge of The White Capsule Clinic, falls in love with the new farm girl...

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

I have no knowledge of the office beyond memes, but I would love to hear a rant. Go off about it, you deserve it -Dream

dream, you are so valid, and a real one

bc i have Broken Wrist Syndrome i’ll try to keep this an abridged, bullet-point rant about How The Office Fucked Up Michael’s Possible Character Arc And I’ll Never Forgive Them For It but y’all know me and my love of ranting and hatred of following silly earthly body rules sooooo

tl;dr- michael scott’s character had the set up/foundation to have a, frankly, incredible character arc that could’ve meant something to a lot of the viewers and redeemed his character in a real, honest way but the producers of the office were too chicken shit to follow through with this and as such left michael to forever be a mar on the office name

okay so if you’ve ever seen the office, you know that michael is a discriminatory egotist who tends to be a piece of shit thinking he’s The Shit

there is practically no one in his life that he does not, at some point, insult, ridicule, mock- etc etc etc. this includes all his partners, all his coworkers, and complete strangers

and if someone he knows is in a minority or discriminated group (afab people, gay people, POC, etc) you can guarantee he makes insensitive jokes and jabs at them regarding that minority status

along with this, he has an extremely ‘i am the only person in the universe’ mindset, and he consistently betrays, hurts, sabotages, and ignores people who challenge this mindset

he’s immature, insensitive, discriminatory, and worst of all childish

the only reason i say his being ‘childish’ is the worst is bc of what it allows him to get away with

oftentimes his inability to face and accept the consequences of his actions forces the people around him to bend to his will and sacrifice what should happen for his feelings

it also, in my opinion, causes many office fans to overlook his large amount of flaws and instead focus on his ‘carefree, kind, no-harm-intended’ nature which is a problem bc Y’all This Man Is Not Good

however despite how crappy a character he is, michael’s character was almost expertly crafted for a sorta redemption arc as it were

it’s constantly talked about and referenced in show that michael had a lonely childhood, one i do sympathize with

he talks of his best friend being the lunch lady, numerous childhood stories lacking in friends, that one tv show tape where he say he ‘wants to have 100 kids, because then he’ll have 100 friends who can never leave him’, etc

it’s clear he was an outcast, likely due to his ‘wacky’ sort of personality

this caused him to latch on to the friends he could get- in the case of what the show tells us, this is todd packer, someone who is even worse than michael

this leads to michael developing his toxic sense of humor

now, while having a bad childhood and making bad friends is not a reason to be free of figurative sin of being a discriminatory asshole, it does lay the groundwork to redeem him in a missed-opportunity brilliance

because what they could have done is shown, gradually throughout the series, michael realizing that the office is truly filled with his friends... friends who don’t like his offensive jokes

and it’s fairly clear they are his friends! even as early as the first episodes they make sacrifices and tailor things to him, to make him happy and lift his spirits despite how rude he is to them

but despite the fact that he clearly has friends michael continues, throughout more or less the entire series (that he’s there), to act as if he’s still the hated, friendless kid who’s trying to hold face and convince everyone why they should be his friend

this is one of the worst parts of michael’s fuckery, as he refuses to acknowledge his friends while still being awful to them, ignoring their repeated outcries against his insensitive comments and behavior

instead, michael continues to be awful to his friends (who he does Not deserve), and the writers of the show throw the audience little pieces of scrap meat in the form of a tragic childhood to try and convince us that excuses his behavior

which is a fucking SLAP IN THE FACE to the audience bc y’know what???? y’know what?!?!?!?

michael’s character arc could’ve been great. it could’ve shown audiences filled with white cishet men with that exact sense of humor in a society that practically peer pressures them to be discriminatory assholes that that is not what makes you good, honest, real friends. it could’ve meant smth, smth about equality and fairness and rightness and learning from your past and becoming someone better despite all the mistakes you’ve made

and they threw that all AWAY

right up until he leaves, michael continues his awful behavior, and the only time he even gets somewhat better is when he gets together with holly shortly before leaving the show

that’s IT

the ONLY time he gets even SOMEWHAT better is for AMARTOTVITY REASONS

i cant spell that word and u cant make me

BUT MY POINT STANDS

anyways ik i did a tl;dr at the beginning but to sum up less eloquently,,,,, they could have done smth great with michael’s character and his character arc but they didn’t and they left michael a flat sucky character whose popularity to the fans baffles me to this day

[here4theheartbreak]

Who’s the King?

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: Min Yoongi x Min Yoongi Genre(s): Smut, Angst

Rating: Explicit Tags: Self-cest (sorta), Alternate Universe, Inspired by Daechwita (Music Video), Royalty AU, Parallel Universes, Violence, Mild Blood, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Minor Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Mentioned Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Minor Character Death, First Kiss, Barebacking, Riding, Rimming, Oral Sex, Coming Untouched, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: Suga gets thrown into an alternate timeline. It's the Joseon dynasty - sort of - but the country is being ruled by his cruel doppelgänger- King Min Yoongi. Suga gets wrapped up in an assassination plot in order to get home, but learns that everything isn’t always as it seems.

Word Count: ~20.1k

His head was pounding as soon as he opened his eyes. Why was it so bright? What did he do the night before?

“Hey, Mister – I don’t think you should be here,” came a small voice to his left. He turned, squinting against the unforgiving morning sun. The small child was dressed in rags, his feet bare and hair long and messy. A streak of dirt was running across his nose.

“What?”

The boy gasped a little. “Wow, what a big scar… Who are you? How’d you get into my yard?”

“Your yard?” He growled. “I’m fucking Suga, shouldn’t you recognize me?”

The little boy tilted his head and giggled. “That’s a funny name. I’m Namkyu. Are you okay, Mister Suga?”

Suga coughed, lifting himself first onto his knees and then standing. He looked around, brows furrowed. The last thing he remembered was stumbling out of the club in Hongdae with Jin, laughing about scaring the pants off some wannabe gangster who’d tried to rough them up.

Now he was in a dirt patch, surrounded with a shabbily placed fence. A small hut was to his left, the door hanging crooked. A large, white dog sat on the porch.

“Where am I?”

“Hanseong. This is my house.” Namkyu pointed. “How’d you get here? You’re wearing really funny clothes.” He reached out and touched one of the zippers on Suga’s jacket. “Is it metal?”

“I—Hanseong?” He repeated.

“Sure! The capital.” Namkyu pointed upward. Suga followed where he was pointing, seeing a large, towering structure on a hill. It looked like the capitol buildings that Suga had seen in history books in school. He furrowed his brows.

“It’s 2020, right?”

“What’s that?”

Suga spun around, panic clenching his throat. “Who is ruling?” He asked suddenly.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Namkyu asked. “Everyone knows the ruler. King Min Yoongi.”

“What did you say his name was?”

“King Min Yoongi. He’s the youngest King we’ve had. No one really knows what he looks like except a certain few… He’s pretty mean to the village though, so we kinda all hope…” Namkyu shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

“Namkyu! Who’s that?” Suga looked up, seeing an older woman open the door.

“Gramma! I found him in the yard!” Namkyu called. Eager to prevent the inevitable scream for the police, Suga hurried up to her and bowed.

“My name is Suga, ma’am. I’m so sorry to intrude, I wandered in last night. I had been drinking, I’m from out of town. Could you point me to the city exit?” He asked. Her eyes narrowed. She glanced over at Namkyu then back at Suga before pointing to the left.

“Go out our gate and follow the road. You can’t miss the village gates. But if you’re not from around here, you’d best move quickly… The guards don’t take kindly to strangers wandering in unpermitted.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Suga bowed low once more and turned.

“Oh wait. Take this.” She disappeared in the hut for a moment before returning with a large conical hat. “That scar is pretty noticeable. You could frighten someone, or catch the wrong attention.”

Suga hesitated then took it, carefully tying it under his chin. “Thank you.”

He glanced at Namkyu, who was looking at him with his head cocked. He smiled a little and nodded. “And thank you for waking me up, Namkyu. I would have been in a lot of trouble if you hadn’t. Can you imagine the sunburn?”

Namkyu grinned then. “Nice meeting you, Mr. Suga.”

Suga chuckled and headed out, slipping through the gate onto the dirt path. He could see a horse coming up from the left, and to the right he could hear the bustle of people. He stepped as far off the road as he dared, lowering the hat over his face to hide his scar. He walked toward the bustling noise, his mind working a million miles an hour.

Last night was the year 2020, and he’d been in Seoul. He was the leader of a relatively powerful and well-known street gang. His best friends were Jin and Namjoon. He’d been out drinking – celebrating. And then he woke up… Here. Wherever here was. It was clearly Korea, they spoke the same language, but Hanseong? Seoul hadn’t been called Hanseong since the Joseon dynasty, if his schooling hadn’t failed. And the King...

Only a few living people knew Suga’s real name. Jin and Namjoon knew it, of course – they were his closest friends and confidants. His parents, though he never spoke to his mother and his father died three years before. And he supposed the children in school back in Daegu, but many of them – according to varied reports, thought he had died at some point. To everyone else, he was Suga. His real name though, the one on his birth certificate from that rundown hospital, was Min Yoongi. The King’s name.

Suga reached the market district and was immediately taken aback. It was bustling with life, stalls lining the road as people walked or led animals through. The annoyed shouting of salesmen and laughter of children, the promises of fresh meat, real spices, sweet fruits. The scents of a village – manure, home cooking, fish, and perfumes – permeated the air around Suga, making him a bit woozy. He could see the gates of the city rising up in the distance, and rushed down the street toward them. He kept his head low, unsure what would happen if someone called him out for not belonging. His clothing and shoes were out of place, and he could feel the weight of his pistol still in his inner pocket. How had he gotten here?

Suga bumped into a tall, slender villager in his rush, mumbling a canned apology. “Yoongi?”

Suga hesitated. He turned and looked at the man he’d run into. Jin stood in front of him, dressed head to toe in clothing of the period they seemed to be in. A fishing rod was slung over his shoulder.

“Jin!” Suga cried, hurrying toward him. Jin’s eyes widened. He grabbed Suga’s jacket as soon as he was within reach and slung them both off the street, pinning Suga against a wall behind a couple of stalls.

He backed up immediately and dropped into a full bow, forehead to the ground. “Apologies, my King. I was so startled seeing you out and about, I needed to hide you.”

“Wh—” A wave of nausea began to form in the pit of Suga’s stomach.

“Jin. Please, it’s me. It’s Suga… Please tell me you know where we are.”

Jin looked up hesitantly, his brows furrowed. “What sort of alias is Suga? What does that mean?”

“Wh—Jin, come on. We were out having drinks last night.”

Jin rose, stepping close to Suga. His eyes narrowed as he searched his face.

“You… You’re not King Min.”

“Goddamnit, Jin, this isn’t funny!” Suga snapped, shoving Jin backwards. “Where the fuck are we?”

Jin stumbled, then went forward. He dropped his pole and turned his net, jamming the handle into Suga’s stomach. The pain radiated through Suga’s entire body and he doubled over, groaning. Jin slammed him back against the rough brick wall, using his body to pin Suga’s and the net handle against his throat.

“Who are you?” Jin hissed, going almost nose to nose with him. “Why do you look like the King?”

Suga struggled for his pistol, but the Jin lookalike in front of him had him firmly pinned. This wasn’t his Jin. His Jin was sweet, an older brother and confidant, always supportive. Gentle. The man he trusted with his entire life.

“My name is Suga,” he rasped. “I don’t give a fuck about your King. I just want to find out where I am. I’m from 2020. Seoul, South Korea.”

Jin’s eyes narrowed. He relaxed the pressure of the net enough to let Suga draw in a much-needed breath.

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Why would I lie? Do I look like I belong here? I was out drinking with my friends last night in the year 2020. I’m twenty-seven, I have a small dog named Holly. I lead a gang of guys who spend their days fundraising for gay groups and fighting against capitalism for fuck’s sake. My best friends are Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon. They’re lovers.” Suga’s shoulders slumped a little as he relaxed against Jin’s grip. “I just wanna get home.” He muttered. The fight drained from his body, replaced with fear and nerves as he spoke. Tough covers or not, he was lost, and arguing against everyone and everything would do him no favors.

“If I let you go – you won’t run?”

“Not if you can help me.”

Jin lowered the net and stepped back. Suga coughed, rubbing his sore throat.

“My name is Kim Seokjin too. I grew up serving the royal family. I’m King Min’s personal servant. Kim Namjoon… He’s a smart man,” Jin smiled a little, a familiar expression that had Suga aching for his Jin. “He writes. Very well educated. He’s a doctor.”

“He’s crazy smart where I’m from too. Are you and he…”

“Uh..” Jin chuckled and shrugged. “Sort of.”

“I know this is weird…”

“That’s an understatement… There are so many people eager to end the King’s reign… How can I trust you?”

“I’m going to reach into my pocket, okay? Don’t freak out.”

Jin’s grip tightened on his net, but he nodded once.

Suga reached into his jeans, pulling out his wallet. He held it up and opened it, withdrawing his driver’s license. “See?” He held it out for Jin.

Jin blinked at it. “What’s this?”

“My ID. It says my name and my age and everything.”

“It… I can’t read this.”

Suga scowled. “What do you mean? It’s right there!”

“I was never taught,” Jin shrugged.

Suga’s face dropped. He’d get nowhere like this. He pulled out a ten thousand won banknote and held it up. “Look! Money from my time. This is Sejong the Great. He was King.”

Jin took the banknote and flipped it over, his brows furrowed and mouth in a concentrated pout. “You say this is money? But it’s just paper. Sejong was never King. He was Yoongi’s brother, the title was stripped from him. Yoongi was named heir.”

“It’s what we use. That or these.” He held up one of his credit cards. Jin plucked the card from his fingers. He flipped it over, scowling.

“What is this?”

“A piece of plastic.”

“It’s money?”

“It stores money. Hey!” Suga tugged the card out of Jin’s hand when he made a motion to bend it. He put his wallet away and rubbed his temples. “This is ridiculous.”

He leaned back against the wall, puffing out his cheeks in thought. “So, it’s not time travel, that’s impossible… And the timeline is wrong, Sejong was made King… So what is it. A giant joke? No, that’s… Impossible. Am I sleeping?”

Suga dug his thumbnail into his arm, hissing. “Not sleeping. Drugged?”

He rubbed his arm over the rough wall behind him, scowling. No, that felt pretty normal. He examined the light hairs on his arm… Normal. He reached out for Jin. That cloth should be rough.

Jin stepped back, smacking Suga’s hand out of the way. “What the hell are you doing?” He cried.

“Making sure I’ve not been drugged,” Suga grumbled. He touched the fabric of Jin’s shirt and nodded. “Okay… So, I’m not drunk, not drugged, not dreaming.”

“No, you’re standing in the middle of the marketplace acting like an animal,” Jin grumbled, crossing his arms.

Suga huffed. “Well, do you have any useful advice then?” He asked, flinging his arms out in frustration.

“Well, there is the royal advisor. councils the King in everything and knows almost everything. I don’t know that I believe your tale of being from the future or… A different future… But it would make sense to go to him. If someone that knew the King’s face were to see you on the street… Things may happen.”

“What things?”

Jin twitched his head to the side, shrugging. “The King is not adored in the village.”

“Why not? You mentioned people eager to end his reign…”

“It’s not my place to say, especially not to someone I know nothing about. And is wearing his face… Down even to his scar.” Jin touched Suga’s cheek. He jerked back.

“I don’t like being touched.”

“Nor does the King.” Jin shook his head. “The resemblance… It is frighteningly uncanny. It’s as if the boy I grew up with is standing in front of me, wearing such rags and… This dark hair.” He grimaced. Suga touched his own hair peeking out from under the hat.

“What color is his hair?”

“White as snow. Long and beautiful,” Jin said proudly. “Anyway… Come. Let me get you to the palace. But… I’m still not sure…” He pressed his lips into a thin line, looking Suga up and down. Suga scowled, crossing his arms.

“What’re you staring at?”

“You look so strange. These clothes.” Jin touched one of the zippers on Suga’s coat. “And the fabric of your pants.”

“Yeah, they’re jeans. They’re comfy. Better than whatever the hell canvas you’re wearing,” Suga grumbled. Jin frowned and looked down at his clothes. “My brother’s partner made me these. They’re very comfortable.”

Suga scoffed. “Whatever. How do you suggest I blend in more?”

“Well, I think you and my brother are the same size. Come to our home. I’ll let you borrow something of his.”

“Nuh-uh. I am not wearing any potato sacks.”

“It’s better that than be killed on the spot by one of the royal guards, isn’t it? Not that I would be hurt if you were… Has anyone ever told you that you have quite an abrasive personality?”

Suga laughed, both out of surprise and humor. “I’ve been told.”

“But I have to admit… I am curious how this all ends up. So hopefully you don’t die too quickly. Come on, my home is right back this way.”

Suga followed reluctantly after Jin, having to dodge a few times to avoid his pole and net. He peeked around the marketplace as they walked, hit with a pang of homesickness. Today in his world would have been Saturday. He and Jin would have met up with Taehyung and gone down to the soup kitchen, volunteering with some of the homeless. They would have all spent the evening together, playing games and wandering the city he loved so deeply.

Suga was lost deeply enough in his thoughts that he bumped into Jin’s back when he stopped. “Hey—” Jin turned and put a finger to his own lips.

“Shh now, don’t wake them.” He whispered.

Suga peeked over Jin’s broad shoulder, surprised to see the “them” Jin was talking about was a large, beautiful black dog with a coat of long, shaggy fur, and a younger man, hat pulled over his face to hide from the sun, sleeping on the dog’s side.

Jin crept around the two with comically exaggerated movements, using his pole and net as a sort of balancing rod.

Suga cocked a brow, looking once more at the dog and boy pair. He shrugged and followed after Jin, the toe of his sneaker scuffing a rock in the path. Jin winced visibly and turned. The dog’s eyes were open, staring directly at Jin. He let out a low, deep woof, and the sleeping boy stirred. He sat up, pushing his hat back. Suga was taken aback by how familiar he looked. Long, dark hair in a ponytail, and a perfectly shaped nose and mouth, he could have easily been an idol in Seoul.

“Kim Seokjin!” He snarled, revealing large front teeth that would have looked comical if not for his already impossible beauty. “I’m going to get you!” He scrambled to his feet and took off, the dog following close behind. Jin screamed and bolted toward an opening in a fence, kicking up dirt and rocks as he ran.

Continue Reading on AO3

[atmilliways]

On the 1st day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee...

Dec 13 - Your favorite holiday tradition... Dethklok style

My mom has these static cling decals in traditional greens and red, and every year I am in charge of using them to decorate the bathroom mirror. At some point ages ago I got bored with doing plain ol’ wreaths all the time. Sometimes I spell out Happy Holidays, sometimes I make green presents with red bows, sometimes it's a garland draped across the mirror, etc. I don't even live there anymore, and she still goes spare if I don't do it.

I just spent an hour trying to find an example picture and failed, so (Facebones voice) use your fuckin’ imaginatiooooooooooooooooon. ... Roll it!

(Oh yeah, and I’m doing a different pairing for each fic this challenge, no repeats. This one is Nategaar.)

~

We Two Kings

~

One trip back to Nathan’s parents’ place for Christmas. That’s all it takes to break Skwisgaar’s long tradition of not bothering to get presents for anyone he’s sleeping with. As soon as they get back, he marches into their manager’s office. 

“You gots to finds this things for me,” he says imperiously, dropping something flat and green on Offdensen’s desk. “Buts in blacks and silvers. Ands with the little red dots whats ams berries.”

Offdensen picks it up gingerly between thumb and forefinger as though he’s concerned it might be some sort of used condom. (He’s only been working for the band a few months now, but it wouldn’t be the first time.) “What, ah, is this exactly?”

“Ams ones of those things for ams puttings on a mirrors.” Skwisgaar fishes around in his back pocket and produces a somewhat bent polaroid, dropping it on the desk next to the green slip of plastic shaped like a cartoon holly leaf. In the picture, two different shades of green leaves make up a Christmas wreath on the mirror, dotted with red berries, all clearly captured by Rose Explosion using an old Sun 660 Autofocus. “Nathans makes this at his parents’ house. Different stuffs every years, never repeats hims-self.”

The photo is given due consideration as well. Offdensen glances up over the edge of his glasses. “And you want to. . . .”

“Wants to haves them for the new house we ams have built,” Skwisgaar confirms. He’s not particularly thinking about why all this feels so important or what that might mean about what was supposed to just be a casual fling. “For next years, whats he can does it at homes, too. Onlies gets more and haves a big fucks-off mirror ins the livings room for thems.”

“I’ll let the contractors know to add it to the plans.”

“Goods.” Skwisgaar starts to leave, but pauses at the door. “And don’t tells no ones. Ams a surprise.”

And the surprise goes pretty well. A few weeks before the next Christmas Skwisgaar takes the almost man-sized box, scrapes the shipping labels off, wraps it (poorly), and leaves it in front of Nathan’s bedroom door. He doesn’t leave a tag saying who it’s from and Nathan never asks, but the guy has to have an idea who it’s from. Who else would know to do this?

A few days later, the living room mirror in the newly christened Mordhaus is decorated with a giant silver skull made out of cartoon holly leaves. It’s layered over the black ones to give the illusions of lines and holes, with a glimmer of red berries sprinkled deep within the eye sockets. Up close it’s crude and a little weird, but from a distance it looks fucking cool. It gives Skwisgaar an unfamiliar warm feeling in his chest to know that he’d helped make that possible. 

The year after that, it’s a crow in flight with a silver fish in its beak, dripping with blood. The year after that, it’s a black and silver present with blood seeping through one corner and a red tag that reads “FROM SATAN.” Between that and the following year’s spider wearing a Santa hat, that’s about as Christmas-y as it ever gets. The rest of the guys think it’s cool but don’t pay enough attention to realize it’s their own bandmate who does it every year. 

Fast forward about a decade. 

It’s well after 4am, early in December. Skwisgaar is lounging on the couch nearest to the mirror, idly playing guitar while Nathan works with his static cling decals and, occasionally, a step stool. Every once in a while the hulking frontman paces around the room to examine his work from different angles and distances, scratch his head, and drink absentmindedly from his current beer bottle. It’s the same brand his dad keeps in the fridge back in Florida. (That one isn’t Skwisgaar’s doing, Nathan arranges for that all on his own every year.)

Just like the unacknowledged understanding that Skwisgaar gave him this new tradition to look forward to, there’s an unspoken rule that Skwisgaar doesn’t look until he’s done. Relationships, it turns out, are mostly a matter of paths trodden so deep into you that you follow them without having to think about it, and it feels good. Comfortable, even. 

Eventually Nathan thumps down on the couch next to him. Skwisgaar stops his absentminded fretting to put the guitar to one side and stretch, getting a few satisfying little pops out of his spine. From the looks of it out the windows, dawn isn’t all that long off. “All dones?”

“I think so,” Nathan grumbles. “I can’t get the fucking lines smooth enough, but whatever.”

“I’s shores it am fines, Misters Porflect,” he replies, and accepts the half finished beer that Nathan hands him. Their fingers brush, and Skwisgaar impulsively transfers the beer to his other hand so he can tangle them together. He’s not particularly thinking about what this impulse might mean about what was supposed to just be a casual fling over ten years ago now, but has endured into . . . something else. “Can I sees it now?”

Nathan seems surprisingly ambivalent; usually he demands that Skwisgaar look and give his opinion immediately upon completion, pressing and wringing to try and get constructive criticism even though they both know he doesn’t always take that the best. This time he just shrugs and says, “Sure, I guess you can, if you want,” with so much forced casualness it’s like he slathered it on with a trowel. Puzzled, Skwisgaar stands and tugs for the other man to come with him as he starts to turn—

His jaw drops as soon as he sees what Nathan has spent the last several hours working on with meticulous attention to detail and laser-like focus. 

“That. Ams mine face,” he says wonderingly, dropping Nathan’s hand and drifting in for a closer look. 

Despite the complaint a moment ago, there aren’t really lines. The entire piece is roughly as tall as he is and mostly silver overlaid with black, like looking at the negative of a photograph. It’s not particularly detailed, but Nathan has captured the contours of his face in black shapes. Eyes, nose, cheekbones, mouth, jaw . . .  even the hollow of his throat, all framed by dark waves of the hair that always hangs down in front of his shoulders. 

Nathan comes up behind him while he stares, taking the beer back before he has a chance to accidentally drop it, and Skwisgaar rocks back on the heels of his boots and leans against him. “I can’ts believes you dids this. . . .”

“Yeah, well.” He can feel Nathan shrug, and the rumbling in his chest when he speaks. “I didn’t want to do a stupid Christmas tree, and I couldn’t think of anything else.” More of that forced casualness. “It’s not really a big deal, I’m gonna do one of us each year for a while so those other assholes can’t bitch too much about being left out. But . . . yeah. I started with you. What do you think, any good?”

“Ja, goods,” Skwisgaar manages against the sudden big gay lump in his throat. 

He’d been facing away from Nathan the whole time he’d been working on this; it was done from memory. Nathan has memorized his face. And this is a guy who, rather than just imagining he’s singing in armor just to make an album more brutal, actually commissioned a full suit of armor to be made for himself on the grounds that just picturing stuff when you could actually have it was for pussies. 

Fuck. Holiday bullshit hadn’t ever gotten to him before, but he’d made that one, tiny no-gift exception and that had opened the floodgates, hadn’t it? This big lug with his once-a-year art projects has a piece of his heart . . . and now seems to be holding out a piece of his own. 

Skwisgaar turns. It feels like he’s moving in slow motion and his tongue is weighted and heavy with words he has no practice and probably no right to say out loud. So he doesn’t say anything, just winds his long fingers into Nathan’s hair and kisses him like there’s no fucking tomorrow. They’ve been together for so long, that’s all he really needs to do to tell the man I love you back, I love you too. 

It’s going to be a brutally amazing Christmas this year.

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

Blissful Cuddles

I was discussing how my idea machine was malfunctioning with Holly, and then I realized, oh my god they were roommates and one bed. The only question was Roceit or Moceit?

Warnings: Swearing (it’s me, it was gonna happen), gay panic, a surprised bear, this is mostly fluff but there may be things I missed.

Summary: Janus Declan Jones really wished he hadn’t agreed to the roommate road trip. 

Words: 1,061

“Dee pleaaaseeee?” Pat begged, employing his famous puppy eyes to get the smallest roommate to agree. DJ really hated how much they worked on him.

“....fine” He mumbled, hiding his blush by ducking his head away from the tall pudgy man. There were cheers from the technically sole owners of the house. The Roy brothers were really big softies but they were so loud to DJ’s sensitive ears. 

“Careful with my brother, he’s fragile” Virgil appeared, smiling at his twin. 

“Only cause you took all the strength and height in the split, my dear fraternal twin” DJ sniped back, glancing to the chair where V’s partner was reading quietly. Logan ignored the other five roommates, instead choosing to look over the details of the trip. 

~~~

That was how DJ ended up in squished between Roman and Patton, the boys who both Logan and Virgil were well aware DJ was crushing hard on. They were busy discussing something from a musical, which had flown over DJ’s head from the sheer gay panic he was in. 

“Deeeee. Got any snacks” Remus poked the back of DJ’s head. 

“Ew. Ask your brother or your boyfriend” That was the other thing. Remus had already claimed Patton, and DJ did not want to butt in on that relationship. Sweet Patton balanced Remus out. 

“Already tried. They wouldn’t give me any” Re whined, draping his arms over his longtime friend. 

“Come oooonnnn little brother. You’re such a rotter, we agreed we wouldn’t eat until the rest stop, and switching drivers” Roman batted at the black-nailed man. 

“Actually, we are pulling up now Roman” Logan informed the backseat, saving the others from an epic Roy brother fight. Roman would be taking over driving, while DJ moved into the back, leaving Pat or Remus to claim shotgun so the lovebirds could nap. Remus immediately pounced on the snacks after they returned from the bathroom. 

“I claim shotgun!” Pat immediately called, saving himself from his boyfriend’s mess and preventing any arguments between the brothers. 

“You good back there Dee for the last hour of our drive?” 

“If they made cars for comfort rather than money, I would be more comfortable. However, in the circumstances presented, yes I will be okay” DJ responded automatically.

~~~

It ended up being an extra half an hour after a bad accident on the road. The boys arrived a little stiffer than expected, but otherwise fine. 

“I claim the master bedroom!” Remus immediately shouted, pulling Patton after him to plop their bags on the sheets. 

“That leaves the rest of us in here and here” Logan pointed at each room in turn before continuing. “Any preference? I would like to room with Virgil of course” 

“That one” Roman pointed to the further room after a thick silence. 

“Satisfactory. I’ll start dinner once I have unpacked” Logan called over his shoulder as he carried in his bags. The other duo moved towards the room for the week, not looking at each other. 

“Oh no. There was supposed to be another bed. REMUS” Roman paled as he saw the singular bed in the room. 

“No, no! it’s fine. We can switch who sleeps in the chair and who gets the bed, or I can share V’s bed” DJ quickly interjected. 

“What” Remus shambled over, his hair in disarray. No doubt he had already dove into the bed to either make it into a nest or a blanket fort. Time would tell. 

“We’re missing a bed” Roman pointed to the room.

“Huh. Guess we are. I’ll call the guy we’re renting from, but he doesn’t work weekends, so you’ll have to share for at least the weekend” Remus shrugged, turning back towards his own room.

“I’ll take the chair” DJ immediately volunteered, plopping his bag on it.

“No, no. That wouldn’t be chivalrous of me. I’ll take the chair until the problem is sorted out”

“Chivalry. Not a common word anymore” DJ snorted to hide his panic. 

“Well, my lord, you’ll find I live by it. Though, by now, I would have expected you to realize” Roman bowed. The man bowed. Who the fuck does that?!

‘I’m gonna explore. I’ll see you later!” DJ shouted, running from the room. He threw open the front door, racing barefoot into the woods. 

“Wait! Dee! There’s a bea-” DJ screamed as Roman’s warning came too late. There was indeed a bear. He was sniffing around a campfire from the previous renters. At the commotion, he stood on his back legs from shock. DJ stopped a few yards from him. The two eyed each other silently, before Roman caught up.

“Roman, no. Back away slowly, don’t meet his eyes. And do not turn your back to him” DJ instructed softly, his heart calming at last. He followed his own advice, backing up a step at a time, watching the bear’s feet. After a huff, the bear lowered himself to four legs and went back to searching for food as the men reached the open door. They closed it, gasping in relief. 

“I...forgot you work with..trails. You didn’t need a knight in shining armor...just to calm down” Roman panted, sweeping his hair from his brow.

“Yea. Yea. I just didn’t expect a bear so close to an inhabited location. I’m going to have words with the owner of this place. Either him or his renters are not treating this area with respect!” DJ stood up, storming over to the phone. 

“Whoa-”

“REMUS give me the number of the owner” DJ yelled, tapping his foot impatiently. Roman finally reached him when Remus did. The boys gaped at the side of DJ they rarely saw. He really cared for wildlife, and was working on a degree to work with them. A fact they often forgot./

“Look. He’s going to thro-”

“I don’t care. I will call the people in the area to make sure they know of this. This is not acceptable, and the wildlife rangers here need to be aware that bear could become a problem. So either I start with the owner, or I start with them. Choice is up to you, will you give me the number or not?” 

“Wildcat, can you wait until the morning to speak with the owner? Call the rangers, and wait for them to give you the facts” Roman suggested. The nickname replaced some of the anger with gay panic.

“Alright. But I’m calling them now” DJ turned to the phone and dialed the number.

~~~

Dinner and a movie left all six of the men sleepy. DJ had finally calmed after handing over the problem to the rangers. They would call the owner and figure out the root of the problem while figuring out how to handle the bear itself.

“Come on sweetheart” Roman murmured, scooping up DJ in bridal style and caring him to bed. He was already in his pj’s, so he was just put in bed.

“Nooo. Come sleep with me” Dj made grabby hands and pouted. Roman chuckled softly and obliged. The two cuddled as they drifted to sleep. Roman was the first to wake in the morning. He immediately melted at the adorable sight of Dee sleeping. He pulled the smaller man closer, burying his face in his messy hair.

“I want to wake up next to you every morning” He breathed, not realizing the extra warmth had woken DJ. 

“Then make a move, coward” In a moment of sleepy boldness Dj piped up. There was some spluttering before the magic words appeared.

“Date me?”

“Yes you big idiot. I’ve had a crush on you since high school when Re brought us over that first time” DJ snuggled closer,smiling blissfully.

“Well, this solves the singular bed situation. No need for a second bed if we love each other”

“Shut up and let me sleep. My anger yesterday drained me”

“Yes sir” 

[sweetbitterimpossiblecreature]

you know what pisses me the fuck off? like, lots of things.  but this especially.

those a/b/o fics where one of them is an omega and the other is an alpha, and let’s say the omega is working retails and the alpha comes up- and the alpha flirts with the omega and the omega’s like “not interested” and the alpha KEEPS GOING even though it’s clear that the omega is, again NOT INTERESTED.  

and the omega’s all annoyed but then as the weeks go by it turns out the omega was “wrong” and the alpha’s actually a “really nice guy” who “cares about his family” and is smart or whatever.  and they get together.

i don’t give a FUCK if alpha cares about his family.  flirting when the person on the other end is not only not interested but also working, thus perpetuating an unequal customer/employee dynamic bc the omega CANNOT GET AWAY is A) wrong and B) disrespectful and C) A SUPER DICK MOVE.  

it romanticizes sexual harassment.  it adds to the misconception that women, or, in this case, “omegas” OWE men or “alphas” something- their time, their feelings, their body.   

and i hate it that it’s always portrayed as the omega being “stubborn”. giving me “tell me more tell me more did she put up a fight” vibes a la Grease, and like- no.

if we’re ranting about a/b/o verse, can we also rant about how it’s such a blatant way to promote sexism? because you can say stuff like “oh omegas sit at home and do embroidery and blush and are really little” it’s just like “biology”, not “sexism” or “misogyny”.

additionally, it’s a way to fetishise mlm by promoting heterocentric sterotypes like having the “girl” and the “boy” of the relationship. now, i’m a queer woman and i write mlm.  i am not saying “if you are X you cannot write Y”.  i, however, am exceedingly careful when writing mlm, following guidelines i’ve read by queer men.  (google “how to write mlm respectfully”).

seriously.  “omegas” A) have their genitalia slicken when aroused, B) are thought to be feminine and wear frilly clothing and C) are the “bottom” of the relationship.  what does this sound like? hmm, it sounds like a way to make one half of a gay couple adhere to the blatantly homophobic trope of a “girl” in the relationship, not only making one super feminine but ALSO making the SEX hetero as well, reducing the need for prep and just overall turning it into something super heterosexual.

now, i’ve read good a/b/o, and there was a time when i really LIKED a/b/o.  not all a/b/o is bad.  not all a/b/o is misogynistic, heterocentric, or homophobic.  whoknows on ao3 writes pretty nonproblematic a/b/o fics.  this hp teddy/james fic is also pretty decent a/b/o. this alec/jace fic from the TMI series is also decent. this is a tomarry hp fic- it’s actually het - that has pretty good nonproblematic abo smut. this fic from the folk of the air series by holly black is pretty kickass as well.

 i’ve also read good alpha/alpha and omega/omega fics. 

so not all A/B/O is “bad”, per se.  but a good chunk of it is problematic.

[boimgfrog]

Spoon facts + backstory

(This is rly long I'm sorry)

Spoon was born into old money as Augustus Whitemire

Spoon uses he/him and they/them pronouns. His preference between the two switches, but he's mostly indifferent.

Spoon is pansexual and very flirty. Not because he's pan, just because he doesn't know how else to show affection other than shitty pickup lines

Spoon was tutored privately until he proved too much of a "challenge" for private education, leading to him boincing between various private and charter schools, until he ended up at WV Academy for Boys (a name that doesn't apply to him because he's not a fucking boy mOm-), right outside of Kepler.

Spoon spends a lot of time in the forests outside of the campus. He skips class and sneaks out most of the time (what are they gonna do? Expel him?)

He likes the quiet, and he also likes stacking toads on top of each other

Besides climbing trees and making up ghost stories, he also likes pretending to be a swashbuckling adventurer, ridding the woods of scoundrels and naredowells

Even though he'd never show it, Spoon craves validation. Show him even the slightest bit of pride and he'll be glowing for days.

Spoon is dyslexic

Outside of his school uniform, Spoon doesn't really have much of a wardrobe. His parents send him new clothes every few weeks, but they're all fancy or hard to move in. (Basically I'm saying TAKE THIS KIDDO SHOPPING LET HIM TRY ON DRESSES AND SHOPLIFT FROM HOT TOPIC)

Spoon has a little doggy (a fact that came from my own little doggy repeatedly interrupting me while i was filming for this nerd)

Spoon decided they wanted to join the Hornets after stumbling upon the gang doing stunt practice out in the woods

Spoon planned for a solid week how he was gonna convince Hollis to let him join,, only for the plan to go out the window the second he realized how intimidating a beautiful biker can be

Instead, he stole a motorcycle parked out front (a vehicle he DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE SPOON WHAT ARE YOU DOING-)

The motorcycle was Keith's

After being chased into the woods, crashing the bike, and being interrogated by Hollis while being held up against a particularly uncomfortable tree, Spoon was finally able to state his case

Except that he was mildly concussed and full of adrenaline at this point, so while he MEANT to say, "I'm sorry, I know, please let me join your cool gang!!"

What he actually said was: "I know,,,join,,, me? Me gang???"

Hollis was extremely confused

It was as this point that Ronnie, who'd been holding back their laughter, doubled over and stumbled onto the ground, hardly able to breathe from how hard they were laughing

Bow was recording the whole thing, also laughing

Bee was, and still is, impressed that Spoon managed to say anything at all. (Also she was laughing)

Hollis was not pleased at all with this situation, but this was also the first time they'd seen Ronnie laugh this hard, and it was nice to see them smile.

Plus, they saw a little of themselves in this stupid, rowdy teenager. Being a part of a team had helped them shape up, maybe it'd help this kid as well?

With a sympathetic look at Keith (it was his bike that Spoon had crashed after all) Hollis announced that Spoon was on a trial run. If they could prove themselves a useful and productive member of the team, then they could stay.

Ronnie is kind of Spoon's nest-mentor, as they're part of the reason he got accepted in the first place

Bee and Spoon are fucking chaotic after Bee teaches Spoon how to use a butterfly knife

Bow and Spoon like to vibe and gossip abt the other Hornets. Sometimes Bee will drag Ronnie to their slumber parties and they spend the whole night playing truth or dare and placing bets on who Hollis likes

Spoon always has some kind of injury. Bee starts giving him cutesy bandaids and stickers to cover up his smaller cuts and bruises and it's honestly life changing for him

He likes to follow Ronnie around like a duckling when he's bored, asking them questions about their life, telling them about his own, bragging about the cool kickflip he did earlier that day.

It's sweet and intensely annoying, he knows that, but he doesn't stop because Ronnie's cool and they let him ramble about his childhood

Spoon has ADHD

Spoon is a horrible cook, absolutely shit at it. (He grew up with private chefs, he never needed to know how)

Despite being the sole heir to a vast family fortune, he doesn't have a whole lot of spending money. His parents started cutting his allowance after he spent $5,000 on white claws for a secret party he hosted at one of his old schools.

Speaking of old schools, Spoon's been to a lot of them.

His favorite was a private school he attended in Georgia. Turns out there's a lot of really repressed, really gay students in Georgian private schools.

By the time he left, he'd kissed half the boys in his dorm and 1/3 of the girls in the other one, it was a fun year.

Spoon is also demiromantic. He's only had a crush on one person, a girl who used to attend his parent's parties when they were younger

They haven't spoken in a while, but Spoon still regards her with fondness, even if he doesn't like her like that anymore

Spoon stims by bouncing and punching his fists together

He also licks things he shouldn't a lot, nearly gave Hollis a heart attack when he tried to lick Bee's open butterfly knife

He's got annoying youngest sibling vibes, but he's also really eager to please (even if it's hard to tell sometimes)

He likes hiding in small spaces

He also like climbing things

He sprains a lot of ankles by jumping off said things

He's baby

He's freakishly good at claw machines

Seriously how is he so good at claw machines

He hoards the stuffed animals and trinkets he wins, (they're the only thing he rly has that are his) but if he thinks you're worthy, he'll give you one

He has echolalia

(Ronnie and Spoon doing the Hannah Montana Woahs as a Marco Polo call signal)

He likes playing silly kid games like four square and kickball cos he never had that growing up

He loves audiobooks and podcasts, especially the spooky ones like nightvale and tma

Spoon lovessss spooky stuff, cryptids, ghost stories, unsolved murders, it's his favorite thing in the world

He has and will continue to hyperfixate on true crime podcasts and buzzfeed unsolved

Spoon bites his nails

Spoon likes small things, tiny objects, trinkets, jewelry, anything that he can easily carry and travel with. (Also he thinks they're cute)

He gets along well with most people (he was raised to be charming and polite and it shows) but he refuses to befriend his roommates

He's tall, but he's also lanky. Ronnie likes to joke that he'd blow away if they attached a sail to him

Gosh Spoon loves animals so much

If Spoon were to ever discover cat ears, it'd be over for you hoes

He really likes being part of the Hornets, even if he has to actually study at school now so he can stay in WV

One time Ronnie crashed one of the fancy dances his school has, smuggling him out and taking him for ice cream. They spent the night poking fun at Spoon's dumb outfits and throwing things off high surfaces. It's one of Spoon's fondest memories.

[clarenecessities]

so shit’s fucked

here is a timeline

09/03/2019.

two people in a 70 person server discuss the SU movie in the general chat channel, using spoiler tags because it had just recently been released. this lasts five posts.

09/07/2019.

alyson comes into the general chat channel and says man, isn’t it a bummer that SU is n*zi apologia and racist and actively harmful?

Donnie says yes, it’s harmful, but drop the n*zi comment because RS is jewish (alyson does not, then or the other two times donnie asks, despite donnie being jewish himself). He later says he doesn’t care about SU at all

Synth says it’s understandable that people would drop the show because of poor handling or the racism issues, but agrees that n*zi is too far when there’s genuine propaganda out there

Beta says yes, the writers could have handled things better, but reducing the message of the show to “n*zi good” is a deliberate misinterpretation

A fourth person comes in briefly to say they also don’t care about SU and that this should probably be in the discourse channel.

About halfway through the conversation, after his second request to stop calling SU apologia was met with a sourceless insistence that other jewish people criticized it (though alyson did not specify whether they used the term n*zi apologia), Donnie told her she was taking this very personally, which Alyson met with “Am I? I said a thing, said it was unpopular, and left it. and then got swarmed?”

At this point she held ~46% of the conversation.

She then abruptly left, saying, “like. Hooooboy, there's so much assuming and passion and defensiveness going on here, so I guess I'll leave since I've seen this all before and know for a fact that no one is going to let it rest.“

She held 41% of the final conversation. Everyone who weighed in was either explicitly open to criticizing SU or completely indifferent, and were simply asking her not to refer to the work of a Jewish nb woman as n*zi apologia.

09/10/2019

Alyson writes a post. The introduction is more or less “if you uncritically like SU, unfollow me” and goes on to say she underestimated how few people in the neopets fandom recognize its harmfulness. She says she’d been thinking about leaving the Neolodge discord for a while, but her mind was made up on the 3rd when she saw "a lot of hype and support" (5 posts), four full days before she posted in the general chat. She says she "was swarmed by questions asked by people who didn't want to hear [her] answers." (there were two questions asked of her: “did you just kind of want to get mad at us for enjoying steven universe?” and “were you venting?")

She says that SU is her “litmus test” of sorts, implying--possibly by accident--that she was then testing the Neolodge by dangling some SU-discoursey bait. 

The post was tagged #the problem isn’t liking a thing and #it's denying anyone from not-liking it for very valid reasons

Except the problem was demonstrated to be specifically that she was asked not to use a particular term to describe that not-like

7 months later, 4/16/2019

There is a Neolodge board on our own neopets.gov. Alyson shows up and is polite & sociable until more people that she recognizes filter in. She neomails hollis to broach the subject of what had happened in september, saying “from what i remember it was mostly synth who was very reactionary and aggressively posting at me because i criticised steven universe“ which, if you’ll review the logs, is both not about synth, who only posted twice (probably an honest mistake), but also grossly mischaracterizes the nature of the incident. Over the next day or so she and Hollis discuss the nature of the lodge and what transpired in September. Hollis emphasizes that the Neolodge has never been a place for bigots or their sympathizers, and Alyson goes radio silent.

4/24/2019

Alyson writes a new post. It tells a different narrative than we see play out in the logs. Her summary of events is as follows:

So, when wondering on the chat if anyone else was critical of the franchise, instead the chat suddenly sped up and i was swarmed by a bunch of anti-criticism fans who almost immediately -instead of reading my beginning attempts to elaborate on where i was coming from- posted over and over again that rebecca sugar is a marginalized voice and as such, immune to criticism, and how dare I insinuate a jewish woman of writing nazi apologia.

To reiterate, she began a discussion. Every person who responded was either openly critical of SU or indifferent. They were not suggesting RS is immune to criticism because she’s marginalized; they were in fact largely agreeing with the criticisms that Alyson raised, but asking her to be more conscious of the impact her choice of terms could have (and in fact was having).

I (a neurodivergent, mentally ill, pansexual aromantic woman, aka also a marginalized voice) was talked over and treated as if i ate babies. Obviously, I left the neolodge discord after that.

Again, she held 41% of the conversation--and by her own admission had already been planning to leave the Neolodge, and had thrown down this final ‘litmus test’ despite not wanting to engage with the results.

Now, obviously marginalization isn’t a contest. There’s no “I have more problems” or “I have worse problems” that will ever get us anywhere constructive. As I said in my own reply to her post, this was not a matter of RS being untouchable because she’s marginalized, but of Alyson’s behavior when asked not to draw the comparison between RS’s work and literal N*zi apologia.

Hollis refused to read and think about what i had said and the information i linked to, despite apparently going back in the discord chat and viewing the whole mess, where i had also laid out information to back up my observations.  Instead, my voice talked over, my words and concerns discarded, I was treated as if I had committed some heinous act, and if i had changed as a person then maybe they might let me back in to the neolodge.

Now being privy to the entire conversation, I can assure anyone reading this that Hollis read & thought about everything Alyson said very seriously. We had an in-depth and nuanced discussion, and ultimately realized that this was not simply a matter of whether or not SU is a poorly handled cartoon or full-on apologia. It was a matter of Alyson’s unwillingness to engage in a discussion she herself began, her repeated refusals to respect the comfort and wishes of our Jewish members, and her later misconstruals of the conversation as a ‘bombardment’.

Alyson insists she did not call RS a n*zi, and that critiquing the show is not equivalent to doing so, but unfortunately ended that thought with this:

Words mean things: look up apologia.

Now, I’ve already pointed this out, but apologia means “a formal written defense of one’s opinions or conduct.” Thus, every time Alyson has insisted SU is actual, literal N*zi apologia, she means that a Jewish nonbinary woman conceived of and executed an explicit defense of fascism, n*zis, the H*locaust, regardless of how involved she was or wasn’t in the production of the show itself.

Personally, I choose to believe that Alyson herself is unaware of the definition, and instead meant that SU makes excuses for fascism, or alludes to n*zis, or much gentler (if still harmful) language. I choose to believe that she’s conflating it with an apology, and simply didn’t follow her own advice.

The Neolodge is home to actual children/minors/underage people and most of the people in the incident were younger than 21. That is children.  I was getting annoyed at young non-adults. 

This is blatantly false. The Neolodge has always been a minor-free space, and there’s been discussion of upping the minimum age to 20. That Alyson herself is 30 may have skewed her perception, but as you can see in our response to this angry anon, we have always been concerned with the protection of minors & the promotion of a safe, comfortable atmosphere.

Alyson goes on to say that she had liked & trusted Hollis, and this came with no prior warning--presumably because Hollis had been polite and even friendly when she came to our board, and they hadn’t interacted much over the previous months since her exit from the discord.

So if you’re like me, and don’t put up with bullshit, and refuse to lie down and let bigotry get further footholds into western culture and be lauded for it, consider staying away from the neolodge and users like hollis and synthaphone

I still don’t quite understand how we got here, tbh. People standing up against a stark refusal to respect someone’s comfort as a Jewish person has somehow been skewed to mean they’re the bigots, and “western culture” is in danger, specifically from this gay nb & their nefarious lesbian pal, who spoke the least of anyone in the conversation.

I can’t speak to what’s going through her head right now. I don’t even know if she read the replies enough to know she was spreading misinformation about the Lodge’s age restrictions, let alone her (hopefully accidentally) drawing an obliquely antisemetic portrait of RS. I’m not even mad at her at the moment so much as confused. I genuinely don’t understand her rationale or what she thinks would motivate us to do the things she says we’ve done. I don’t think she’s a bad person, or even that her actions would be unfair if the situation were what she’s purported it to be.

But the fact of the matter is, it isn’t. She tried to start a fight seven months ago and has been hanging onto it since, convinced that she was in the right, never considering the express opinions of the people she claimed were so passionate about the show she so loathes. She’s attempting to drag Hollis’s name through the mud because they were kind enough to give her a chance to explain her side of things & she squandered it by instead parroting the talking points of the video we had all watched back in September, when she originally posted it.

She’s throwing Synth in for good measure, because they’re the only person she could be bothered to identify.

It’s not a true account of events, she made no effort to have a good-faith conversation at any point (particularly about her own behavior), and frankly it’s unfair. It’s easy to dump snippets of DMs and announce that you’re blocking anyone who disagrees with you, sure--it can even be good for you. But in this case it’s more of what we saw all those months ago in the discord, when she tried to stir the pot and left after scarcely 30 posts had gone by; it’s cowardice. It’s a way to frame the narrative in such a way that she can maintain her illusion of moral superiority, secure in the knowledge that everyone who has criticized her or her behavior is a bigot and and writes n*zi "apologia” apologia.

She’s isolating herself from the community one group at a time, and I still don’t know why, because she won’t talk to me about it. She won’t talk to any of us about anything that isn’t SU, and I don’t care about SU. I care about her & her motivations, and I’m starting to accept I’m never going to truly know either.

[cockbiteproductions]

all prime numbers in the Misc section and all multiples of 10 in the other sections

we shall go backwards as the question list was posted backwards...... (and also why i rbed it.... why is it backwards? i dont know but i love it. edit: now that ive seen question 1 it looks to me like one of those forum profile copy pastes where you fill out the entire thing and put it in your profile.)

200: My crush’s name is: hmm...... well. i would rather not say!!!! they could see this post!!!!!!! and we do not want that happening.......

190: My 1st job was: lifeguard in the summer after 9th or 10th grade i think? it was decently fun. i grew up swimming competitively so the swimming part was a breeze. the remembering what to do if someone is drowning part? a bit harder. memory bad. what to do if someone has a potential broken spine/head injury when they’re in deep water? i don’t know bud. but it involves 3 whole people to get them out. 2 in the water, one person at all times holding their head in line with the rest of their body, the other one strapping them to the board (these two people in the water switch off, too) and then one person standing on the side of the pool looking very concerned. also don’t tell anyone but sometimes if i had like a 6 am shift i would get really groggy and almost fall asleep on the stand.

180: Marriage is: whatever people make of it but unfortunately bogged down with like a lot of societal expectations. to me it just sounds like hanging with your “best” friend until you die but a lot of other people interpret it differently.

170: What did you do yesterday? LOL wouldn’t it be nice if i remembered. wait no i do remember. i woke up “early” and watched a dnd livestream and struggled through buffering from my shit wifi. then i took a nap. then i had a chipotle burrito that was way too spicy. and i played a lot of minecraft. and i wrote a bit. and i also did like another 2-3 pages of the codecademy html intro course im working on.

160: Soul mates: nope. [taylor mason voice] i don’t believe in the concept of a soul. you are compatible with some people more than others and that’s based on your values and interests and personality. nothing Soul about it. it’s fun in fanfic and fiction though, but that’s because it’s fiction.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes..... i like brown hair! but blonde is nice too.

140: Mac or PC: clown face emoji. mac. It’s A Unix System. more convenient for me. my current mac is a giant piece of shit though. though i think that’s my own fault for keeping all my old files from my old mac. shoulda started over. i think i might try to get this one factory reset or something.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk walmart. i go there a lot during college. walmart just has a larger selection. i used to go to target a lot as a kid though because my mom liked it more. i think it’s like slightly more bougie?

120: Gay Marriage: fuckin go for it pals. sad that it took as long as it did to become legal.

110: My Neighbors: they are nice i think. the ones to the right are teachers or something. the ones to the left are.... idk. their kids were like maybe 5 years older than me and my brother when we were growing up though and sometimes they would indulge in us tiny annoying kids and hang with us

100: Cried in front of someone: when the finale of the clone wars came out a few months ago and i was sobbing and i ran into the living room to tell my roommate and friend that i was sobbing. i was sobbing. i also recorded myself watching the entire eps and i Sure Was Sobbing.

90: Texted: actual sms text, yesterday in response to a friend who texted me a tik tok. instant messaging like 20 minutes ago to milo. i havent responded yet because im answering this and i cant multitask for shit.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: me obviously. i think i’m fucking hilarious. me aside, @redvsblue​ is the funniest person on this planet. also my friend holly irl who shares my incredibly dumb sense of humor. also you!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmm........ in general or for me personally? idk..... a lot? i am not a very courageous person. so i guess being brave.

79: First time you had a crush: >:( not appreciating this line of questioning that lines up with the prime numbers/mult of 10. i will not be saying as they ALSO follow me on tumblr. though they don’t use it often. shout out to middle school.......

73: Tomorrow: hopefully wake up around 1 pm at the latest. make a plum smoothie. play some more minecraft and get more netherite (new update slaps). do more coding tutorials. get some writing done. the same ol same ol.

71: Next Summer: hopefully i will have a job lined up for the fall and the pandemic is Over. i would like to just [do nothing] for the last summer Ever before job starts. if i don’t have a job then it’s Job Hunting Time.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: what the fuck...... like in a bad way? good way? cry of laughter? sadness? me, probably. my own damn brain be like “well it’s time to think about Yourself and be sad!” i know. very narcissistic of me. also dave filoni (director, producer, writer on clone wars).

61: My Car: not really mine. i just use it. beige 201? toyota camery. my brother tried to convince my dad he needed it more than i did last school year. my brother, who lived on campus in boston and flies to school from nc when he goes there, needs the car more than me, who lived off campus and drove to and from school to get back to nc, thinks he needed the car more than me. what a guy.

59: The movie I cried at was: last movie huh......... when was the last time i saw a movie? idk probably the rise of skywalker when leia died. i don’t know. i sure as hell didn’t cry at cats.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: i am vegetarian.

47: Who’s your best friend: @worthyghouls​ i guess. but also concept of “best friend” is so weird. No Best Friends. just lots of people i am good friends with. feels weird to all my other friends to pick One of them and be like “well i like you more than everyone else” :)

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: only in the vaguest vaguest vaguest sense. i would like to graduate with my bs degree. i would like to live in a city (doesn’t have to be a super big one. where im at rn is fine). i would like to have my first or second job i feel comfortable doing related to the degree i am getting. i would like to live in my own apartment (with roommates)/not with my parents. i would like to not be rent burdened. i would like my roommate to know how to take care of a cat or be okay with helping me learn how to take care of one. i would like to have a cat with said roommate. and that’s about it tbh. not very ambitious, i know. i just want a simple life......

41: Have you pre-named your children: bold of you to assume i will have children. no. if i ended up with child it would be like that tag on ao3 called “accidental baby acquisition” and i would name it on the spot.

30: Actress: hmm..... lauren marcus. lauren lopez. does fiona nova count if she’s going to be in rvb zero? also lindsay jones. aubrey plaza. idk. not many actresses i follow from project to project. it’s more i will see them in something and appreciate them in that role immensely. 

20: Holiday: halloween is pretty chill. just getting candy from strangers? dope. scary aesthetic? amazing. i also like christmas just for the sole fact that i get time off from [life].

10: Restaurant: a favorite restaurant??? who has one of those???? i sure don’t. and i’m not gonna say something cringey like olive garden or mcdonalds. i simply do not have one.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Hi! I love your youtube channel & I think you're super cool! I'm a newer follower and was wondering if you could give a summary of the concept of Fostered---it sounds like a really interesting series!

Aww thank you!

Yes I can!! Fostered is too thicc for me to give extensive summaries (unless y’all want this) and there is very little you need to know from the earlier books to understand the current ones! That’s because as myself and the series have aged, its genre, age category, and plot points have changed!

Here’s a small outline of the main characters:

Reeve

Protagonist + narrator for all “main” Fostered books

Sister of Lonan

Will write salty breakup songs about people she was never in a relationship with

Bi as fuck!

Foster

Was once Reeve’s boyfriend?? no??

Best friend of Harrison

Will write love songs about tofu

Ace as fuck!!!

Harrison

Best friend of Foster

Also Reeve’s best friend!

Sort of love-interest of Lonan (we’re getting there lol)

Will write love songs about waffles

Gay! as! fuck!

Protagonist of Moth Work

Lonan

Reeve’s brother!

An antagonist for a good chunk of this series

Will not write love songs he has no heart (he does I am just mean)

Also bi as fuck!! Everyone is bi in that family lol we love it

Here’s a breakdown (CW: there’s a lot of violence/convo about mental illness/potentially triggering content in these summaries, so tread with caution):

Fostered (book 1) to Resisted (book 3):

These books (Fostered, Hunted, Resisted) are probably the most harmonious out of the 6 (7 including Moth Work) so far! That’s because for a long time, I believed Fostered would end at three books (initially a standalone, then duology). They’re all closely linked through the “foster homes” plot (hence the name of the series) and are obviously the most dystopian of the books (all three are also YA). You can feel the 2014 dystopian vibes in this book lol. I wrote this summary 5 years ago for my first ask ever and it sums up that idea:

The book takes place in the not-too-distant future where children who’ve committed crimes, are neglected, or have chosen to, are sent to behavioural detention centres – what everyone else that’s not the government like to call ‘foster homes’. The story revolves around a fifteen-year-old girl named Reeve who’s lived two years in a ‘foster home’ after being accused of her sister’s murder. Following an accident that she caused which subsequently led to her escape of her foster home, she stumbles across a group of kids, who like her, have gone through the lifestyle and also have escaped. She makes an alliance with them and everything seems in its place until she finds out that a team of hunters are searching for her because of the same accident. Unable to remember anything that happened from the event, she then learns that maybe all things don’t point to her – what really happened on the day she escaped? 

(props to 14-year-old me for writing this)

I wrote these three books so quickly (though at the time, as a thirteen-year-old, it felt like drafting took forever). I started Fostered in October of 2014, and by May of 2015, I was halfway through Resisted :))))). How?? These books are all above 85k??? I could never!!!

FOSTERED (book 1 - YA dystopian):

Follows the above plot. What isn’t mentioned above is how this book starts. We start with Reeve (15 at the time–a baby!!!) chillin in an abandoned storage unit she was hoping to use as shelter. HOWEVER, plot twist of the season–there are already people there!

She’s semi-ambushed by these people who she later learns are our good ol’ pals Foster and Harrison. The boys are also taking care of a 6-year-old girl named Essie who they love fiercely!! They’re sketched out by Reeve, which we later find out is because–they! know! her! 

Foster, Harrison, and Reeve were actually all the closest pals in a ‘foster home’ they called WAFFLE. Reeve forgets that during the disastrous accident she causes that separates them (she blows up the foster home lmaooo) but lookie here–the squad is reunited! Eventually everyone comes to love each other (though it ain’t like that in the beginning) + Foster and Reeve have a romance which I find so bizarre now?? They would never.

The squad is being “hunted” by a group of “chasers” (I LOVE dystopian lool) headed by a woman named Red who is actually?? a badass? She tries to kill them a bunch of times, Reeve kills Lonan’s sister by using her as a human shield, Essie dies, I’m awful!

HUNTED (book 2 - YA dystopian):

After Essie’s death, the group is shook! Harrison especially as he is *soft* and the “leader” of the group. To protect his other ducklings who are now the most sought after people in America lmao (Foster and Reeve), he does something SCANDALOUS and joins the *government* AKA all the evil people putting innocent children in these awful detention centres. What a 180! Essentially, he does this to purposefully manipulate investigations into Foster and Reeve away from them, but Reeve doesn’t know this so she’s cheesed when she finds out (she feels #betrayed)!

Harrison’s departure of the group triggers the group’s breakup. Harrison joins an *elite* section of the government that *I believe* tries to wrangle runaway foster kids?? This group is lead by our other good pal Lonan and this is the first book he appears in! He takes Red’s place as antagonist in this book.

The group also includes Holly, a badass who is also Foster’s older sister (and also Lonan’s first serious girlfriend)! She’s scary! She also dies by hanging in a blood-drinking cult mid-way through this book! don’t! ask! Margo is this group’s tech analyst, and she’s a mentally distant hippie (and Harrison’s first and last serious girlfriend which obvi didn’t work out lol he’s gay!) Idk what Harrison’s job was here, but he learns techy stuff from Margo!

This book is important because it establishes Lonan, who continues to be a pivotal character as the series progresses. It also establishes Lonan and Harrison’s relationship. Obvi Lonan is the antagonist in this book and won’t make his redemption arc for another 1book lol, but him and Harrison have a bit of a bizarre relationship. Though they’re almost rivals, they almost adore being each other’s rivals (but don’t tell them that)? After Harrison leaves Lonan’s team, the squad essentially is *hunted* by them, hence the book title lol. 

By the end of this book, a few important things happen! Lonan kills Margo (remember, Harrison’s first and last girlfriend lol, we could say Lonan was killing his competition lol is that too much), this obviously reinforces his role as bad guy! After the book’s events, Lonan eventually overtakes the group and they’re all imprisoned! Love it!

RESISTED (book 3 - YA dystopian):

This is my favourite Fostered book because there’s just so much tea! We start in “headquarters” AKA Lonan’s pride and joy! After he kills off his old boss so he can be Ultimate Antagonist (actually because she essentially killed his girlfriend ahaha), he’s the Man in Charge and power trippin like crazy. 

Reeve is separated from Foster and Harrison who are also in HQ because she’s mentally unwell. Lonan has given her the job of executing people (because he is evil) which she ain’t diggin! so Lonan takes it upon himself to address her mental health concerns (which obviously isn’t helping because they mutually hate each other). 

Eventually, Reeve barters with Lonan for what she wants by using Holly’s death (which only she and Foster witnessed) as leverage. As I mentioned above, Lonan essentially kills/drives away his entire *elite government squad* which means! He needs another one! Reeve uses this as an opportunity and says WELL you COULD hire Foster and Harrison. Lonan does and VOILA we suddenly have a new squad!

This is really where we build a relationship between Lonan and Reeve who have previously done nothing but try to kill each other! They actually bond in this bizarre kind of way. While they still don’t like each other, they mutually understand each other more than Foster and Harrison do as in many ways, Lonan and Reeve have both done the same awful things (lots of killing people :))). 

This all builds up to the epic reveal that they are actually half siblings (they share a mother) and oh DOES THE TEA START BOILING. This news causes major tension in the OG squad (Reeve, Foster, Harrison) as Foster and Harrison think Lonan has done too many irredeemable things to be forgiven, despite the fact that he and Reeve are related. They are right! However, Reeve isn’t so quick to decide. 

She and Lonan go through a lot together (including kidnapping! attempted murder! An explosion! Reeve pretending to be a corpse!) which are still some of my favourite things to re-read and the reason I love this book the most out of all the books I’ve written. This is where #redemption arc occurs!

This book is too long for me to cover everything, but essentially their relationship is the most important! The book ends when the squad (now joined by Lonan) is forced out of hiding because Reeve is injured and actually needs real medical attention! This leads to ANOTHER separation, with Reeve heading back to a foster home for the first time in a few years!

Hollowed (book 4) to Rewired (book 6)

HOLLOWED (book 4 - YA (?) dystopian (?))

Book four is my least favourite book of the 6 and that’s because it’s melodramatic and I was finding my writing style! It’s not quite appropriate for YA because of its violent subject matter, but wouldn’t appeal to adults, so it’s a bit category-less. Dystopian elements still exist, but are less relevant, so it’s also a bit muddled in term of genre.

All you need to know in terms of events are that Reeve meets someone named Lincoln in the foster home she’s put in (see previous) who ends up being a horrifically abusive person. He sort of shifts into the role as antagonist, though from this book on, the lines between good guys and bad guys blur. Hollowed also introduces a new character–Glenne! Glenne is Lonan’s second serious girlfriend and remnants of this relationship still show up in current Fostered spinoffs (tho she will be irrelevant in Houses With Teeth most likely). 

SPLINTERED (book 5 - YA?????)

The genre and category of this book are impossible to define. We continue almost where we left off in book four, and this book is pretty unremarkable in terms of events lol. The squad remains the same, except toward the end, we’re introduced to Darren, a dude from California who hears about Lonan’s *elite government squad* (before the government disowned him) and hopes they can help him locate his missing brother (tho he don’t reveal this until book six). 

This book is mostly about Lonan’s declining mental health that still has not gotten better. Some hints of Lonan and Harrison’s relationship getting closer are also dropped in this book.

REWIRED (book 6 - Adult (???) literary fiction sometimes???)

The category of this book is bizarre. It begins as weirdly maybe almost YA, but dips into adult literary fiction at some points. This book is where I really grasped my style and so the genre and category reflect that transition. 

What you need to know about Rewired is the progression of Darren and Reeve’s relationship as it goes from acquaintances to PALS to MORE THAN PALS to I don’t! want to be! your! pal! This book is so weird and disjointed because of this transition away from YA dystopian and into adult literary fiction. We also get even more Lonan and Harrison relationship development as Reeve meddles her way into business that is not hers!

MOTH WORK (spinoff - no categories anymore I have no idea)

The most recent Fostered book! We finally get to see Lonan and Harrison’s relationship on the page and oh boy! Is there tea! As Lonan struggles to grasp trauma from childhood, and Harrison struggles to help him, their relationship goes to places it ain’t never been before! This eventually leads to a much needed separation where Lonan explores a new relationship with Eliza (his father’s ex oooooof) and Harrison figures out what he needs in order to live a healthier, happier life. MW is a bridge between book six and seven.

HOUSES WITH TEETH (book 7 - adult literary fiction *I’m hoping*)

I have yet to write this book, but we’re back in Reeve’s head! Here’s a synopsis I’ve shared before:

After escaping a toxic relationship, twenty-year-old Reeve disappears for the second time in one year. She’s drawn to Wicker, a mealy town outside New York City, whose disappearances of affluent girls has caught her attention. The day she arrives, a sinkhole buries one of them in the front yard of her new home, a fixer-upper she shares with estranged friend, Foster. Quickly she falls prey to speculation by herself and others, who try to connect her to the tragedy. And even stranger, false recognitions as the girl in the ground, and the many other missing Wicker girls make her feel more and more like one of them–these alluring, unknown women. 

This book is very much my vibe now as a writer, however, it’s been difficult to re-integrate back into Reeve’s head with all Fostered’s dystopian elements removed! I don’t have much else to share about this book since I know so little about it, but it is essentially my current project.

So I hope that was helpful! There’s a lot of unexplored territory that I worry might be impossible to get into because I legitimately do not remember a lot @sarahkelsiwrites calls me a fake fan lol (I genuinely am), but if y’all ever want to know more, I am 100% down to share whatever! This was also a lot of info so if y’all have questions, send ‘em in!

Enjoy this abridged version of Fostered!

–Rachel

[isobel-thorm]

... 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓑𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻

Grant and Matthew head to John’s house for Nic’s Valentine’s Party, and to share their big news. Considering their dating history, they’re less than sure it’ll go smootly.  Grant Lyons/Matthew Rook, John Seed/Nic Raylan

| Pt 1 by @amistrio​ | Pt 2:

Grant Lyons stared at the double doors of John’s ranch. He and Matthew Rook had rang the doorbell nearly five minutes before, and considering it was mid-February in goddamn Montana, they were close to freezing due to the delay. And the elephant in the room - er, entryway, was getting heavier and heavier. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t a secret, he just wanted to let his best friend know that he was going to be a married man soon, and for once, the excitement was killing him.  He sighed and knocked on the door again. “I know it’s Valentine’s, but y’all better not be fuckin’ in there considering you two are the ones that planned this party and decided on this time!” he called. 

Matt glanced over at Grant. “... Considering we’re about a third of the police force altogether, if one of us gets murdered tonight do you think Whitehorse is gonna send someone to investigate?” 

“No one’s gonna get murdered.” 

“Are you sure? Because John-” 

“Is a relatively stable individual-” 

“Who’s about to have his current girlfriend and her best friend, who’s his ex, who’s dating his other ex, who just got engaged to said ex literally….” he checked his watch. “six hours ago,  all under the same roof,” Matthew cut him off. “Hope County is too damn small.” 

“I think that’s the hunger talking.” 

“And the cold. And the excitement. But seriously, it’s too damn small. Everybody knows everybody. Who thought living like that would be okay?” 

“Hey, you chose to stay here when Earl offered you a permanent spot.” 

“I was motivated,” Matthew protested, though there was a teasing lit to his tone, and he grinned at Grant knowingly. 

Grant paused, then smirked.  “That’s really gay.” 

“Yeah? Well…” Matthew leaned into him and Grant moved to meet him halfway - but naturally, that was right when the door opened. 

Nicolette Raylan was on the other side, and she blanched upon seeing what she had interrupted. It didn’t last long. A moment later, a grin split her face. “Wow, that’s-”

“Grant already made the joke, don’t you dare,” Matthew cut her off before she could continue. 

She didn’t miss a beat and immediately pulled him into a bear hug that he returned full force. She tossed an arm around Grant’s neck to pull him into it a moment later. “Hi! You guys are finally here! I missed you!” 

“You saw us literally two days ago,” Grant pointed out. 

“And I still missed you. Get in here.” She waved them inside, and they followed.  

The great room was decked out in all pink, red and silver decor. There were streamers and balloons everywhere, there were streamers on the stuffed animal’s heads, the dining room table had a glitzed out runner with a bunch of plates on it, as did the coffee table, and the railing of the stairs leading to the hangar was wrapped in ribbon. 

It had been the most ‘Nic’s influence’ thing they had ever seen in anything that belonged to John. Leave it to her to go all out when it was just going to be the four of them hanging out. Still, there was a strange charm to it all. 

Nicolette didn’t let them take in the sight for long. She ushered them over to the dining room table where a bunch of food was laid out- different bread, cold cuts, heart-shaped baked goods that were decorated to the nines- Nic had clearly spared no expense in any of it. Grant took a sandwich and a couple of cookies, and Matt piled on every single dessert option onto his plate. When Grant offered him a skeptical smile, he shrugged. “What? We ate lunch already, and Nic worked hard on these, I’m partaking.”

“I meant save some for the rest of us, I mean damn,” Grant teased. He went for one of the brownies on Matthew’s plate.

Matthew stabbed his hand lightly with his fork in retaliation. “There are like twenty more, get your own!” he countered before he crossed back to the couch and sat down. 

Grant did as Matthew requested then sat beside him. 

Nicolette came back over to the pair of them. She gave Grant a glass of whiskey and a bottle of coke to Matthew, then sat in the chair adjacent to them. 

“Where the Hell’s John?” Grant asked. 

Nicolette checked her watch. “Should be back any minute. Had some legal trouble. Apparently, Larry’s threatening legal action against the Ryes because Carmina’s contrails are chemtrails and they’re trying to poison the county or something. He’s apparently trespassing on their property and trying to fiddle with the plane so John’s getting paperwork ready to keep him off the property and such. Kim told me everything.”

“Fucking Larry,” Matthew sighed, and the other two hummed in agreement. 

They made small talk after that, catching up on cases, until the great room’s entryway doors opened up again.

John stepped through, and upon seeing the three of them smiling and laughing away. They all turned to look at him, and Grant and Matthew offered a quick wave and a “hi!” He looked back and forth between all of them, then sighed. “This… this is my nightmare. I’ve literally dreamt about this.” When Nicolette popped up from the couch to kiss him, he returned it, though still looked like he was in pain. 

Grant scoffed. “Why? We’re all friends, it’s not like we’re killing each other. Or plotting to kill you.” 

“Yeah, well, your dream selves aren’t that civil,” John fired back. He huffed and dropped onto the couch. 

“Could be worse, could be comparing notes on how you are in bed,” Matthew pointed out. 

“You guys could, we didn’t get that far,” Grant cut in. 

Nicolette grinned behind her whiskey and coke. “And I already did that with Holly yesterday when we went to get coffee.” 

“You what?!” John demanded. 

Nicolette grinned. “All in good fun. She’s moved on, she’s with some Barry guy now. I mean, you are the most eligible bachelor in Hope County, you’ve dated what, half the people in the entire place from twenty-five to thirty-five?”

“You make it sound like there’s a support group for people who dated me,” John sighed. 

“Well…” Matt shrugged, then looked at the gathered crowd pointedly.  

John’s face fell, and Nicolette tutted and tucked her face into his neck. “You’re looking at it, you’re fine. It’s not like we’re much better.”

“Was I that bad?” John asked. When he was met by dead silence and the other three exchanging looks that were half apprehension, half conspiratorial, he scoffed. “Come on.” 

Nicolette laughed. “We’re not doing this on Valentine’s Day,” Nicolette objected. 

“Well, technically that only means you have to be nice,” Matthew clarified. 

“And you started it, so fine, let’s hear it,” John countered. 

Matthew sighed, realizing there was no way out of this, so he figured open the can of worms right quick, then weld it shut. He motioned at John. “You’re an overdramatic bitch. Nic can handle it because she’s also one.” He glanced her way, and then when she shrugged and nodded in agreement, he continued. “ I…could sort of deal with it,  but had my own shit to deal with, and-”

Grant reached over and squeezed Matthew’s knee pointedly. “You’ve got a lot of stuff that can’t go unchecked and needs a lot of attention, some people aren’t up for that,” he cut him off. “I mean Hell, same with me. I have… a lot of shit to work through, so do you. There’s nothing wrong with that, but everybody deals differently. Hell, when we were a thing, same thing applied. I’ve had too much shit to work through to be there one hundred percent for you. There’s no shame in that, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to expect one hundred percent from me all the time,” he continued. “And then this one and that one came to town. Still had shit to deal with, but they deal better because there’s less to unpack, and they’ve got the personalities to take it head on. Listen, two majorly traumatic messes were doomed to fail. Put a less traumatized mess with each of them, you get this,” he motioned at himself and Matt, then at John and Nicolette. “Worked out just fine, didn’t it? Look at us now.”

John clenched his jaw but visibly considered the explanation, then Nic, the absolute hero that she was, lifted her glass to her mouth before firmly declaring, “Your mom’s a less traumatized mess.” 

Thankfully that got a laugh from all of them and diffused whatever remaining tension there was. John, obviously the most bristled of the bunch, having realized that no, everybody’s grievances weren’t going to be aired and had been stuck into a relatively reasonable statement, turned to Nicolette with what had been said in mind. “I suppose it did.” When she squinted at him in return, he leaned forward to kiss her. 

When it turned into two kisses, then three, then on, and what the other two thought was probably tongue getting involved, they simultaneously gagged overdramatically. 

“Payback for earlier,” Nicolette countered between kisses. 

“Oh, Hell no. We didn’t even make contact before. If anything, we need some payback. So,” he grabbed Grant, who had been snickering at the whole thing and yanked him forward into a kiss of their own - and maneuvered so he could toss his leg over Grant’s knees and scoot closer. 

Matt was absolutely elated when Grant let out an exaggerated moan to boot to go along with it. 

The other two finally broke apart. 

“Oh, thank God, we were gonna have to ask you guys to get a room so we could have this party alone,” Matthew pointed out. 

“It’s my house,” John protested. “Get your own damn room, you were further ahead than we were.” 

“Yeah, where’s the fun in going as slow as you two? You don’t wanna drag the stuff out that much,” Matthew countered. 

Nicolette laughed. “Oh, honey, it’s the other way around, do you really wanna ‘wham, bam thank you Man’ Grant after all he does for you?” 

“I don’t have a single complaint, actually,” Grant cut in. 

Matthew beamed, then flipped off Nicolette- and then stopped short when her answering grin dropped and her eyes went wide. Oh, right, the Elephant in the room. 

Nicolette launched herself across the table so quickly even John looked panicked for a moment. He landed haphazardly on their entwined legs, and Grant scrambled to keep her upright when she nearly fell off the couch. She paid the fumble no mind. She grabbed Matt’s hand and held it up in order to look at the bright gold band that had found a home on Matthew’s ring finger. She gasped, then beamed and turned to Grant, then immediately punched him in the chest. “You ass! You told me you were gonna tell me before you did it so I could get pictures!” 

“I - it was an in the moment thing, there was next to no planning,” Grant protested. 

Nicolette squinted at him. “Liar. You just didn’t want an audience.” 

His response was immediate... and devoid of regret: “I didn’t want an audience.”

She squinted at him, then scooted back so she slipped off of their legs and onto the empty part of the couch before she threw her arms around Matt and kicked excitedly. “I’m so happy for you guys, it’s about time!”  She squeezed him harder. “Welcome to the family!” 

Matt hugged her back. “Thank you, thank you.” She turned back around. “John! Say something!” 

Grant waved his hand dismissively. “Leave him alone, this is probably super weird. We wanted to wait til things slowed down or  Nic got sleepy and quiet before we told you guys,” he explained. 

“No, it’s…” John sighed. “It’s fine, truly. Congratulations, and if you’d like, you’re welcome to use this place as a venue. As for why I got quiet there,  well… why don’t you ask Nicolette why she’s wearing the only shirt she has that covers her collarbone?” 

Matthew and Grant exchanged puzzled looks, then frowned at the woman herself, who grinned after a moment. 

“Not to step on your moment, buuuut…” she reached down to take the necklace she had tucked into her shirt. Usually, it had the silver Rook chesspiece Earl had given her a few years back, the silver key ‘to John’s heart’ that he’d given her on their one year anniversary, but now there was a ring hanging between the two charms. 

Grant looked from it, to her, to John with another grin forming on his lips. “You too?” 

John shrugged. “First thing this morning. Must have been something in the air.” 

“Congratulations,” Grant replied. “Both of you.” He laughed when Nicolette threw her arms around him again. He took another look at the ring. “That is a big rock.” 

“Well, when your house is this big you can afford all that,” Matthew pointed out. 

“Stop it,” Nicolette smacked him lightly, then immediately beamed and bounced in place again. “You know what this means, right?” 

“We’re gonna get shown up announcing our engagement by you guys announcing it too anywhere we go?” Grant asked, then laughed when Nicolette smacked him. 

“No. We’ll stay quiet for a while. Promise. Anyway: Double. Wedding,” Nicolette cut him off from further protest. 

“Hell no!” Matthew called. “That’s our day. Again, I’m not getting shown up on our own damn day.”

“What, afraid I’m gonna look better than you?”  she challenged. 

Matthew promptly opened and shut his mouth a couple of times, then took a decidedly long drink of his coke. 

Nicolette sighed dramatically, then leaned against him. “Fine. No double wedding…” she began and offered Grant a conspiratorial wink, to which he put his hands up at. “But promise me I can at least plan most of yours for you.” 

“Not all of it,” Grant cut in. 

She shrugged. “Suits at least. And color scheme. I’m not letting you guys have a wedding that’s as much of a design disaster as you two are.” 

Matthew went to protest again, and when he heard John laugh and then saw the man raise his eyebrows in agreement, he sighed. “Fine. Deal.” 

“And in case everything is booked up somehow, or my fiancee here claims it’s not good enough for you two, you’re welcome to this place for the service or reception,” John offered. “I mean, I could just help arrange it at Falls End church. Must look fabulous decorated for a wedding.” 

“Where would decor that would fit your guys’ standards fit in that place?” Grant asked. 

John shrugged. “Outside? Nice lattice, maybe get some doves, have ‘em fly everywhere.” He paused to consider. “Hell, crows could be a more fun contrast. Would fit you guys more.”

Grant laughed and shook his head. “Sounds like a chintzy disaster. No thank you.” 

John shrugged. “Fair enough. Again, if you’d like my house, it’s open to you.”

Matt looked around. “We might take you up on that, on second thought. Grant’s uncles would lose their damn minds over this place.” 

“It’s… not gonna be too awkward for you?” Grant asked. “I mean we made the joke about this party being your two exes who are dating and your current girlfriend, but hosting our wedding’s another story.” 

John scoffed and waved a dismissive hand. “Contrary to… apparent popular belief,  I can handle seeing my exes happy- and judging by how this is going, in the same room. It’s not bad at all, so repeating it will be fine. Despite my apprehension and what I said earlier,  you’re two of my dearest exes, so I’d still like to do right by you.” 

Grant smiled softly. “That’s mighty kind.” 

Matthew nodded in agreement. 

“Well, you’re both worth it. Even when you take pride in insulting me,” John answered. 

“We love you too,” Matthew replied. 

Nicolette looked between them all, then reached over in order to clap Grant and John on the knees. “Look at this, my boys, we’re all gonna be married soon. Oooooh, what if we did a honeymoon together? That would be okay, right?” 

“Whitehorse would kill us,” Matthew pointed out. “We already did that joint vacation.”

“Nope, he’s caught in a checkmate because he’s gonna walk me down the aisle. He’s gonna be too giddy to say no to anything for at least a year after that,” Nicolette pointed out. She looked between them. “Pllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssee?” she stuck out her bottom lip.

Grant looked at Matthew, who put his hands up. He made a mental note to stop doing that so Matthew would stop getting it from him. He sighed. “We’ll think about it. That work for you?” 

“Yes!” Nicolette flicked his nose, then stood in order to go sit in John’s lap. She reached back and got her own nearly forgotten plate of food and held it so both of them could pick at it. 

Grant rolled his eyes, then looked towards his boyfriend- fiance, now, he corrected, and the thought made his chest flutter- and raised an eyebrow. 

“No, fuck you, this is still my junk food,” Matthew objected playfully. It took him all of ten seconds to relent and feed him one of the brownies. When Nicolette ‘aww’ed in response, he threw the piece that Grant had missed at her, then went back to eating.

Grant laughed too, then took Matthew’s distraction as an opportunity to simply watch him. He was happy, relaxed- something either of them didn’t get to feel often. He looked at the other two. Nicolette was always outgoing, always recharged by people around her being equally happy, but even John looked more at ease than he had seen him before. Whatever apprehension about having exes and his current love under the same roof had already ebbed away from the good news and energy in the place. It was… beyond nice. He still couldn’t believe it. Four souls in varying states of being lost had found each other, then love had gone and paired them off, but here they were, still strong as a unit- a family in its own right. And he had never felt so at home in his life, just sitting in their company as they chatted away. It was going to be an interesting, exhausting few months or years, however long they picked until the wedding, but with them, he could handle anything- and he’d love every minute. 

[creamypalazzo]

as to cater to my lack of sleep I ended up becoming very hyper aware of a song that got stuck in my head, and it’s called god is fair, sexy, nasty by Mac Miller, and it’s a song in my jotakak playlist that elicits incredibly h0rny + romantic energy that I wanna believe is also up to par with jotaro and kakyoin’s relationship in my o p i n i o n because I am in love with them and they are in love and babies and in spite of the very hypersexual lyrics here I also wanna be inclusive to the romantic expressions here and there that also perfectly match up to mu headcanons of their relationship lmao,, also do note that I like bottom jotaro and this is also mostly in Kakyoin’s perspective so it’s also what made the song contribute so well and I Am Like This Because God Made It So and it’s ok.

actually what I wanna talk about before the lyrics is the segment of jazz that plays before it delves into mac’s usual r&b/hip hop instrumental, it’s supposed to set the mood smoothly and because of that, all I think about is the thought of jotaro and his love for jazz that is also never really regarded by a lot of fans. It’s an unusual trait considering the Everything that jotaro is but I love to see it as a way that Kakyoin doesn’t Ignore that part of him and knows how he fully is- Jotaro isn’t completely cold and edgy and bitter, he still has a brighter side to him, and his love for him is what makes him so seen.

funny enough, there wasn’t much background to the song aside from the chorus itself from kendrick lamar, though that does save me enough time and I’ve only done the better reading to understand the first chorus, which is this:

apparently for a time, Kendrick suffered immense survivor’s guilt and trauma that happened when he was younger, amidst all his success he still suffered a lot of issues that his partner had continually supported him through the rougher times- all the violence he suffered from has cultivated all into the “bullet” where his partner is represented as a rose, and their love has been the reason he’d been able to get through his issues. It’s also continued to the rest of the chorus, being together and folding into each other’s desires is also a parallel to Kakyoin and Jotaro’s relationship, where the hardest come down they’d know each other so well, so intimately, to be able to find each other in ways that they’d only ever know.

tbh probably one of my favorite things about Jotaro’s relationships is that they’d always always always emphasize his beauty- he isn’t all his beauty, but the fact his personality is practically worn on his face is what makes it. To me, Jotaro is forced to be fully aware of his features from the attention he’s gotten, but with his intimidating demeanor it also gets pointed out too because, 1) fear is an aphrodisiac, 2) it makes him so much more powerful that way, to be beautiful and feared is probably a feeling that he doesn’t get to understand would be so good, honestly, but to think that Kakyoin would take the sight of him in, would make him feel like he’s been looking at a god. Ironically, a god that would definitely make him commit sins and defilings of desires he didn’t even think he’d have on Jotaro, but here they are. Kakyoin would be mesmerized, especially with being an artist, he could paint him, paint on him, his body and his face is a work of art that subjects him into a place of some kind of worship because it definitely deserves it, but Kakyoin’s got desires that even makes the devil shiver.

This is probably one of the verses that struck me the most, and I say one of because there’s actually more to it. There isn’t any background as to, say, if this song was about anybody in particular, the only song in the album that was actually mentioned to be about someone entirely was Cinderella (and that shit got wild real fast lmao). But to know that this was probably about someone who was cold, who definitely had issues too? God. Jotaro is cold, when it comes to his feelings he honestly will probably not keep up with them. It makes him turn away from people who he should have been vulnerable around, who he’s allowed to be weak around, but he wants to hide it and shows it constantly, sex or not he’s probably always into the rougher things as to compensate. I like to think Kakyoin is there to test it- aside from the actual connotation, relationships always test people to how they become better than they used to be, it’s not just a test for each other but it is a test for themselves, in the name of love and the loves of their life, it’s a matter of asking, what do you want to do? Is it for them, or yourself? And in this case, ‘take my time, hit that slow’ shows off the contrast to what Jotaro normally ventures off to. Jotaro would have to adjust for that and also be made to understand what Kakyoin would feel, think, in the pace that he, for once, would want them in. Jotaro can finally learn, in and out of sex how he should consider the most out of Kakyoin- I know events of SDC would say that he does consider a lot because of Holly, but he doesn’t exactly have easier times reading his friends or family and most of the time does stay in a self-indulgent bubble where he doesn’t really know how to treat people’s feelings other than the ways he knows how. Kakyoin is a test to it, and Jotaro follows because he has the need to understand it, to know him.

You’re the only thing for me in this fucked up world is also a really painful statement, to me at least. It hits hard with the fact that Mac and Ariana later broke up because of their relationship turning toxic, I know he didn’t make this song for her but to know this statement was written out of his heart is what makes the genuity. Kakyoin, as we know has mostly been alone his whole life. He never really got to be vulnerable around other kids and his only friend was his stand that way, only being able to cope with his excess time with the fact that Hierophant could help him play video games better and that was probably just how he spent it. Alone, definitely unused to company that felt like he knew him. Enter Jotaro, new to stands, just as socially inept, same liking to sumo, gorgeous as hell and checking every box that Tenmei Kakyoin didn’t even know he had. He saved him from a lifetime of pain and suffering, saw a part of him that also made him understand that they weren’t alone. They’re the only two kids in a world of war and other dangerous things, the fact that they both don’t know how to interact with each other like normal people do is both hilarious and endearing, but it’s made better by the fact that it makes them understand and like each other. It’s almost like a matter of fate that way, because honestly, how long would have Kakyoin gone if he hadn’t met the Crusaders? He fell into Dio’s hands so quick because Dio could understand him, see right through him with his desperations and loneliness, but later fell for Jotaro because it’s all genuine, and a person that Kakyoin has learned to love because they didn’t know how to get to each other until they had to learn how.

And do you believe in love? Is another part of them. I never thought that Jotaro nor Kakyoin would honestly think of it, they had other shit to think about and it was definitely not girls, Kakyoin probably had a thing for h3ntai (I had a running joke somewhere that he was ripped because he kept jerking off lmao) but I doubt he ever indulged in the romantic areas, he never cared about it in particular until Jotaro came around to make him realize, oh, this was a crush. I always headcanoned that Jotaro was gay: he wasn’t exactly growing up in the best time to think about it, nor did he really like girls, his next best big brain moment was to probably ignore the feeling and just believed that girls were a whole no. Well, yes, the annoying stalkers mostly were at fault, but it made him not like the appeal of them, where he didn’t understand how boys would look at girls and drool over their thighs, where girls would fight about whose chests were smaller, because girls were just so boring and annoying to look at. It’s boys on the other hand that always had his attention. Many of the guys in his school probably would have been excited/terrified that the cool, smart Jotaro Kujo would approach them, and probably take him in as his friend or probably pick a fight, but in reality, he just didn’t know how to approach someone attractive, let alone someone of the same gender when his relationship with his father continually strained. So then he thought over it, a lot. Holding hands with a boy, kissing a boy. Hooking his arm around one, holding onto him no matter what. For a time he thought he just couldn’t be in love, it was just that he didn’t like the idea of it being with a girl, that was all.

Hold on tight when demons come / It’ll be alright, no need to run / Stay with me tonight, we’ll see the sun / And when we wake up we’ll still be drunk Ah yes, this verse analysis is going to be very long as I Analyse this until I pass out from sleep deprivation. These two lines are a combination of what I’ve said in both the previous paragraph and fourth one, reiterating my statements again, but I think this is the dawning of their trust with each other when they finally get to like each other. They both need someone they can trust and understand, but it’s Jotaro who has to be the one to not run away from it while Kakyoin is the one who holds on tightly because he’s never had this at all before. Someone like him has definitely developed attachment issues that way, and he’s not letting Jotaro get away from something that he knows they both need. Hence the cuddliness in the last three: Never felt this free before / I need you more than keys and doors / I need you sleepin’ next to me

You know by this point in their journey you wonder how deprived of touch everybody is, but especially with Kakyoin and Jotaro being together now this seems to end up as a way to deal with touch starvation with each other. I doubt both would be used to any of the contact, but it’s Kakyoin who’s trying to be more enthusiastic with it while Jotaro is also trying to adjust himself even though he doesn’t quite have any idea of what to do. But they try, try a lot, and Kakyoin finds that he enjoys holding Jotaro and Jotaro’s learned to love feeling and being held, being loved by this boy, no less. It makes them miss each other more every time they stay apart, the fact that Kakyoin got his ass handed to him back in the desert is also what makes it difficult, every time Jotaro visits him in the hospital Kakyoin would probably take his hand and hold it close to his face before kissing it, always so impatient and probably a bit horny and inappropriate than he needs to be and most of all lonely— and jotaro in turn would direct him to his lips where they’d always kiss softly, slowly turning desperate, both just progressively careless in the predicament with Kakyoin only being able to navigate Jotaro’s neck and jaw with kisses, Jotaro trying so much as to not lift the hospital gown and instead holding his scalp while he presses kisses all over his face, and sure it’s only been probably a week or so but they missed each other so god damn much, Kakyoin missing cupping Jotaro’s cheek and taking in the absolute sight of how beautiful he always is, but while he’s recovering he’s just glad he could still be able to touch him.

(You shy,) you don’t reveal too much / (No lies,) don’t hide your self at all / (Where’s your—) I just can’t help but fall / (It’s true,) and I’ve tried everything / My sexy, nasty thing / is actually the set of lines that hits the most here tbh. They carry the same sentiments that I’ve said in my fourth paragraph and supposedly should have been my previous one if it weren’t for the fact that that shit got deleted and all but I guess my WiFi just wouldn’t work yknow,,, anyway by this point I don’t believe that this is because of any clothing related reveal situation whatsoever, I like associating this with the idea that Jotaro’s so used to shutting his feelings out that it’s so difficult to express them, but anytime he sees Kakyoin he’s just so . unused to feeling free and allowed to be able to see him in this light while Kakyoin is made to be so aware of it. It makes Jotaro feel naked, even if they have their clothes on, he may not be that expressive but Kakyoin’s found himself starting to recognize the building looks that Jotaro’s giving him, hooded eyes or widened ones where he looks so curious and stunned. If Jotaro would be made too aware of it his pride makes him swallow and look away, but a lot of the time Kakyoin, even so overwhelmed and flustered, would encourage him not to be ashamed of it, to be vulnerable to him because he loves the feeling that the way he looks at him is actually being returned. They love each other, even if they were young they knew it was love. It was so perfectly destined that God had to be the one to cut it short. 

There’s a line from a JotaKak doujinshi in particular that somehow manages to hurt me to read every time called Let’s Meet at The Usual place; it’s a doujinshi presenting memories of Kakyoin and Jotaro’s relationship where they realize they like each other (yes there is a lot of sex but yeah), and the very last line is Kakyoin’s final message when looking back to them:

I don’t like being lonely, so please talk to me from time to time. There’s a story that I don’t know, so let’s meet at the usual place. 

Now, I bring this up, while also crying, because at a point, Kakyoin’s childhood problems have definitely affected him badly growing up. It’s considered that he has a lot of obvious signs of clinical depression, which is a topic that can be discussed here, but I wonder how frequent he could go into these episodes? Did he ever take meds? I know I’ve had a fair share to this kinda shit but god damn, it’s mentioned in the link above that it probably ranges in a severity, and it makes sense! How many episodes has he gone through it alone? How long did he have to believe that he was alone, considering he decided outright he could never be friends with someone who can’t see his stand? It’s emphasized a lot that if it weren’t for the stands, Jotaro and Kakyoin wouldn’t have been friends at all. I just think: With the presence of the Crusaders, he definitely developed a peace of mind. 

Why do I say this? It’s mostly taking into consideration with the way Mac handles his feelings: he gets really emotional when he’s high- in this case, even if Kakyoin hadn’t been using his meds, how emotional can he get in episodes or developing episodes in particular? How far do these go, and how much does it trouble Jotaro that he doesn’t even know what to do? I wanna believe that for the most part, he’d feel better, definitely a lot better, even in his episodes he could look at Jotaro and realize that he’s waited far too long for somebody who could understand him, who could see him, taking him to a place where he feels warmer, happier, and he would hold Jotaro close to him and realize he has more than just thanking him for literally saving his life. Jotaro would be everything to him. 

Honestly, I don’t think Jotaro has carried similar feelings of loneliness, but he had a feeling of want to this. He knows his desires, he knows what he likes, who he loves, most importantly, but he realized that without Kakyoin’s presence it’s suddenly so boring and sad without him. In a way he feels scared, even though he knows Kakyoin is strong enough to handle himself, his worry manifests in a way that he knows that it’s how his mother could worry but it just can’t be helped.  

Will you come home with me? Hits HARDEST, especially, I know a lot of this is sexual undertones but as I’ve repeatedly stated, god damn does the change in context make it hurt, like there’s definitely been a lot of talk and a lot of promises that were made for when they come back home, Jotaro would have wanted to bring him home to Holly where she’d be safe and sound, and he knew for a fact that seeing her again, with the idea that she’d be overjoyed with them being together has given him something so pleasant. 

But Jotaro could never have that. He never got to say goodbye, or save him in time. For the longest time, Jotaro has realized that there was nobody that was going to make him this happy. 

And, really. Nobody could do it like Kakyoin, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be happy again.