#focus on where you can do meaningful work

[xsoldier]

A big part was that a majority of the progress of the early 2000s to 2010 mattered to ACTUAL PEOPLE, whereas post-financial crisis, the progress started to focus solely on corporations' economic growth — whilst the enshittification of technology actively eroded away the progress that had been made for people.

That contributed to the growing class divide & inability to influence the world in a meaningful way, because the bigger corporations swallowed everything up, and transformed everything into a resource to serve ITS needs, rather than existing to address the needs of actual human beings.

Ex: Blockbuster won't get videos from everywhere, and runs out of what you want to watch? Netflix will mail you the DVDs for anything you can think of, and then eventually it's streaming so you don't even need that if you have good internet! It's addressing a need for actual people. Until that shift meant it was just a subscription service that only randomly had something you wanted to see, and would slowly but surely ratchet up its prices no matter how much less it was offering, because you didn't have any other legal options to watch & their content and participate in a collective social activity.

Even when I graduated from high school in 2004 — The stagnation of things like social security being estimated to be non-existed when I hit retirement age & the escalating impossibility to own a home still existed. There was a VERY cautious optimism of that being fixed, but none of us were holding our breaths — mainly because as Millennials we were being scapegoated for killing the economy of every conceivable business ever, while those in power ignored that what they were doing was fundamentally unsustainable.

We all work for companies that treat us like nothing but fuel to make their stock prices go up, and VERY few of us ever get to share in what the increase of that value means, on TOP of not making a meaningful difference while the rest of progress was a stagnation even when things were still getting a bit better in some places, with the flip side being how shit like school shootings were turned into a status quo because special interest groups were so powerful, your individual voice meant nothing at work or in government, and social media was the only place where that playing field was leveled between corporate, media, & political figureheads and everyday people… for a time.

That's why that particular string of nihilism & hopelessness is most often apathy rather than rage, as well as why it was so easy to find people tired of being blamed for fucking up everything all the time, point them at a scapegoat, and use that false empowerment to fuel far-right political fury like MAGA while the liberals & Democrats just clung to the status quo that was still failing everyone because they'd rather bask in the satisfaction of being right than risk what it'd take to actually be effective. (Not just an American problem either, but that's the perspective I know it best from).

Late-stage capitalism morphing into the far worse techno feudalism, whilst the Internet itself turned into a corporate dystopia YEARS ago from the once wild-west interconnected web of human experience that it was back then before Apps homogenized everything into locked down silos of control, where they'll siphon away anything you give, and you have no money to fight off something that massive in court, and seldom any tools to find fairness otherwise.

While most millennials don't have that active rage, we HATE that Gen Z wasn't given a better world. Sure it's got neat things, but we loathe the ways it's failed us both and prevented us from doing a damn thing. …and that's also why the second a Medical Insurance CEO got shot… everybody realized that it's a class thing and we got to see JUST how different it is when something happens to one of them vs. our friends getting murdered in schools & clubs for YEARS.

We didn't like the status quo back then, but it was still moving. We hate the present even more because it's regressing as the powerful are playing in a facade of a promised future, while going about it with all the myopic incompetence of every early-2000s power-hungry web admin with the morals of the most repugnant internet troll, and fucking over anyone below them with impunity. So let me say from experience:

When given power, those people will never care. They will never change, because they got there by being the way they are on purpose. Don't tolerate it. Don't normalize it. Don't play fair against them, because they're not. Play to win.

Remember that it's not an age thing, and it's barely a political thing because those lines VANISH when the real problem gets exposed. It's a class thing of corporate wealth trying to make themselves into gods who feed off of everyone else, and there's no low they won't sink to to take more however they can, and no matter how many of our lives it costs.

am taking perverse pleasure in reminding people it's 2025. that's a star trek year. silly little science fiction number. except it's happening, and DANG ain't it underwhelming!

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but it's super interesting how

Din = Power = Ganondorf

Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda

Farore = Courage = Link.

Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.

Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.

And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.

Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.

Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.

Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.

They sit in perfect parallels to each other.

And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.

Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.

Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.

Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.

But the other direction?

Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.

And that's the very essence of the triforce.

[barnacles34]

My Greatest Joy

IVE Yujin x Male Reader

16k words

'A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.' — The Year of Magical Thinking

18+ smut

The Birth Crisis. The Great Vanishing. The Specter of Demographic Collapse. The media couldn’t decide on a name, only that it was happening. Some said Korea would be empty in a century. Others, ten years. Twenty-five, if they were feeling generous. A hysterical pendulum swing between denial and terror, between think-tank white papers and government campaigns urging citizens to bureaucratize what was once spontaneous: love, sex, reproduction.

But in Dunsan-dong, no one talked about it. Not really. Not in any meaningful way. The village shrank in slow motion. Affairs stopped happening—nobody had the energy, or the audience. The local divorce lawyer quietly removed ‘Infidelity’ from his services, then shut down altogether. Playgrounds grew ghostly. The corner food stands, once territorial battlegrounds for unruly teenagers, went bankrupt one by one. ‘Kids these days grow up too fast,’ one ajumma said, as if that were the whole explanation.

And yet, in all this entropy, two were born. A statistical error. A miracle.

Miracle is not hyperbole. In two decades, the birth count had been three. The bureaucratic failure of Love—yes, Love, capital L, the thing that was supposed to be instinctual, inevitable, the thing people built whole religions and K-dramas around—had finally completed its slow bureaucratic death. Love was no longer a force. Love was paperwork.

Except for two people.

For them, Love was everything.

—

'One move and you'll split open like a badly wrapped present.' ‘Is that your professional opinion?' 'That's my twenty years of keeping-you-alive opinion.' She's biting her lower lip, the way she always does when she's trying not to smile at your stupidity. 'And I really don't want to explain to some emergency room doctor why I have a boy bleeding out in my room at 2 AM.'

The gash should hurt more. Six inches of red spite across your forearm, but all you can focus on is how Yujin's looking at it—like she's found something breakable in a world made of steel.

'I really fucked up.' 'Did you?' Her touch finds your good arm, barely there. 'Or did you do exactly what you meant to?'

The lamp makes everything soft. She's wearing your t-shirt—the one you left here that summer when the AC broke. Cotton worn thin enough to catch shadowy curves underneath. Silk pajama bottoms that whisper secrets when she moves. You try not to notice. You notice everything.

'This might need stitches.' 'Are you volunteering?' 'Shut up and hold still.' But there's laughter in her voice, the kind that makes your chest tight. 'Some of us are trying to work miracles here.'

The first-aid kit looks wrong in her small hands. Those hands that used to patch up your scraped knees, that still know exactly where you're breakable.

'Remember that time in third grade?' Her fingers ghost over your skin. 'When you tried to convince me you could fly?' 'I could've.' 'You broke your arm.' 'Minor setback.' She laughs, soft and close. 'Nothing's changed, has it?'

Everything's changed. The way moonlight catches in her hair now, how her perfume makes your head swim, the careful distance she keeps even when she's touching you. But you say, 'Not the important things.'

Her breath hits your arm in warm little puffs as she works. Clean movements. No hesitation. Like she's mapping something she never forgot.

'Almost done.' Her thumb traces the edge of the bandage. 'Next time try not to bleed on my carpet?' 'Yujin-ah.' 'Mm?' 'Thank you.'

She looks up. Those eyes crack something in your chest. Then she smiles and whatever was cracked turns to stardust.

'So how'd it happen? And don't say you just slipped, because I know all your clumsy excuses by heart.' 'Just slipped.' 'Onto what? Did some wandering samurai leave their sword in Dunsan-dong?' 'You never know what you'll find these days.' 'Hey.' Her voice goes quiet, the way it used to when she'd tell you secrets at midnight. 'Tell me? I promise to not scold you…much.'

Face to face now. The universe narrows to this: her eyes on yours, her hands still on your skin.

'Okay.' You gesture with your good arm. 'Window.' 'What did you—' Her voice catches. 'If you've done something wild—'

Then you smile.

You watch her shoulders drop. It's a small thing, being able to do this—turn her static to quiet. Not exactly Superman stuff, but it's the only superpower you'd keep if they were dealing them out.

She knows. You can see it in how she moves—little half-dance steps to the window, taking your words as is—hopefully, something good. The curtain whispers. You don't watch. Can't. Your skin's electric with her lingering smell—something you'd bottle if you could, except that'd ruin it, the particular way her skin holds the perfume.

The silence stretches until you think you might snap. Then—

'What am I supposed to be looking at? Because all I see is Mrs. Kim's cat trying to fight a streetlight again, and—' She stops. 'What's it say?'

'Let me make sure I'm reading this right.' She's still facing the window, but you can hear the smile breaking through, eyes transforming into pure joy. 'Because either someone's confessing to me via Christmas lights at 2 AM, or the neighborhood's having a very very specific power outage.'

'These past years—' 'Wait.' She spins around, eyes catching lamplight. 'Did you seriously string up every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong just to—' She takes three quick steps toward you, stops. 'The lights outside the convenience store. The ones from the coffee shop. Even the ones from—' Her eyes go wide. 'You didn't.'

'Old Mr. Park drives a hard bargain.' 'His birthday lights? The ones he's kept since forever?' 'To be fair, they were already purple. Worked with the aesthetic.' 'And what exactly did you promise him?' 'Just my eternal servitude. And maybe repainting his fence.' 'The whole fence?'

'Both sides.'

She shakes her head, but her smile could light up the whole neighborhood. 'You're insane. Completely insane. Do you know how many people I had to convince about your mental well-being?'

'Had to?'

'Have to. Present tense.' She's between your knees now, playing with your shirt hem like it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. 'Though I guess now I'll have to change my story to "dating a lunatic who steals Christmas lights and nearly loses an arm trying to spell out love confessions."'

Your heart stumbles. 'Dating?'

'Well,' her borrowed shirt slips further, showing more shoulder. 'I mean, you did just write my name in stars.'

'They're Christmas lights.'

'Same difference.' Her fingers trail up your arm, careful of the bandage. 'Very romantic Christmas lights.'

'Does that mean—'

'It means anyone crazy enough to risk tetanus and Mr. Park's wrath deserves at least dinner.' A pause, then softer: 'Maybe breakfast too, if they play their cards right.'

'Just breakfast?'

'Don't push your luck.' But she's smiling that smile—the one that's always been just for you.

'Yujin-ah.'

'Mm?'

'All these years, did you ever—'

'Every day.' She doesn't let you finish. Doesn't need to. 'Every single day.'

'Can I—'

Her mouth finds yours: the way her lips part like flower petals at dawn, soft and inevitable. Her breath mingles with yours. There's the perfect arch of her spine, the way her breasts press warm against your chest through thin cotton, how her hips seek yours with an instinct older than thought. The taste of her, sweet milk tea and something darker, something that makes your blood sing. Her hands flutter at your neck, startled, before finding home in your hair, and there's that smell of her—woody, floral, fruity—that makes you dizzy, makes you forget where you end and she begins. Delicate sounds escape her, primal and pure, vibrating through both your bodies like a struck chord. Then she's pulling back, but her body stays honest—trembling, burning: alive with new knowledge.

'Sorry,' she whispers. 'Got carried away. We should probably wait until your wound is healed.' Her smile is so reassuring, masking the softest disappointment that her eyes couldn't hide. 

But she was in luck.

Your fingers circle her wrist mid-fret, right as she's about to check your bandage for the seventh time. Her skin is cool against yours, pulse like a hummingbird.

'Stop fretting.'

'I'm not fretting.' But she's barely holding back a smile, eyes bright with something more than just lamplight. 'I'm calculating how many years Mr. Park's going to make you repaint his fence.'

'Already negotiated.' You tug her closer, feeling the way she pretends to resist. 'Two coats, both sides, and my firstborn child.'

'Bold of you to negotiate with children that don't exist.' She settles between your knees anyway, like she's found her way home.

'Yet.'

Her borrowed shirt—your shirt—slips further off one shoulder. 'You're impossible.'

'Impossible enough to steal every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong.'

'Borrow,' she corrects, fingers playing with your collar. 'We're calling it borrowing. Sounds less felonious.'

'Look who's being responsible.'

'Someone has to be.' But she's leaning closer, breath warm against your mouth. 'Since you've apparently lost your mind.'

'Lost it years ago.' Your thumb traces her lower lip. 'Right around the time you started wearing my clothes.'

She makes this sound—half laugh, half something else entirely. 'Smooth talker.'

'Only for you.'

Her hands find your chest, but there's no real resistance in it. 'If you tear those stitches—'

The kiss swallows her warning. This one's different—deeper, like you're trying to taste every year you've waited. She makes a sound that turns your blood to starlight, fingers curling into your shirt like she's afraid you'll disappear.

'That's cheating,' she whispers when you break apart.

'Is it working?'

The lamp catches gold in her eyes. 'Always will.'

Your hand finds skin at the small of her back. She arches like a cat stretching into sunlight.

'You're staring.'

'Can't help it.'

'Try.'

'Make me.'

She kisses you this time—soft, sweet, dangerous. When she pulls back, her smile could outshine every stolen light in the neighborhood.

'We should probably—' she starts.

'Probably.'

Her fingers find the hem of her shirt. Your shirt. Details.

What follows is an exercise in creative problem-solving. One functional arm between you, too much cotton, not enough coordination. Her hair gets caught. You both laugh. The shirt wins the first round.

'Left,' she instructs.

'My left or your left?'

'Wait—here… I got it.'

The second attempt goes better. The shirt surrenders its hold, and suddenly there's just Yujin—all golden skin and starlight. Her bra's simple beige cotton, but the way it holds her could make Michaelangelo weep.

'You're staring again.'

'Still can't help it.'

She kisses you quiet, hands on your shoulders, pulling you closer. Everything soft and warm and perfect.

'Can I—' your fingers find her back, trace lace.

'Yes.' Another kiss. 'Please.'

The bra falls away like a secret finally told. You forget how words work.

The air hums with the weight of revelation—her body an altar, every contour a psalm. Your breath tangles as you drink her in: the bronze aureoles, the arch of her ribs like a vaulted sanctuary, the pulse fluttering at her throat like a caged sparrow. She shivers beneath your gaze: the raw vulnerability of a soul laid bare.

Your palms ascend her sides, mapping the smoothness, the glory of it all—each sigh, each hitch of muscle, a dialect you ache to memorize. She tips her head back as your thumbs brush the underswell of her breasts, a whimper dissolving. ‘More,’ she murmurs, not a demand but a prayer, a beg; her fingers knotting in your hair as if you might slip away like smoke.

You oblige, slow as honey, mouth tracing the salt-sweet hollow of her collarbone. Her skin blooms beneath your lips—petal-soft, fever-warm—as you chart a path lower, lower, until her nipple grazes your tongue. She gasps, back arching. Her hands clutch at you, anchor and plea, as you worship her with unhurried devotion, savoring each tremor, each stuttered breath.

When her legs part—a silent invitation—it’s your turn to shudder. The heat of her radiates through the last fragile barrier, a molten promise. You press closer, the rigid heat of your unclothed shaft straining against her thigh, a visceral counterpoint to her softness. She rolls her hips, deliberate, and you groan as her warmth grinds against you, friction sparking like flint.

You linger there, foreheads pressed, breaths mingling, the world narrowed to the space between heartbeats. Her eyes lock with yours, galaxies swirling in their depths. ‘I want to feel you,’ she whispers, voice trembling. ‘All of you.’

You move as tides do: inevitable, reverent. Her thighs cradle your hips as you guide yourself to her entrance, the head of your shaft slick with Her. The first breach is a shared gasp—a threshold crossed in tandem. She tightens around you, velvet heat clenching like a fist around your length, and you still, trembling, sweat-slicked and spellbound. Her nails score your shoulders, anchoring you to the agony of slowness.

‘Slowly,’ she breathes, and you obey, each fractional advance a pilgrimage. Her fingers trace your jaw, your lips, as if memorizing the shape of this moment. When you’re sheathed fully, time suspends. Her lashes flutter closed, a tear escaping as she whispers, 'Yes.'

You move in thrusts. Her sighs crest into whimpers, into chants of your name, each syllable a spark in the gathering storm. Her breasts sway with the rhythm, nipples brushing your chest, while your hands grip the flare of her hips, guiding her into the tide. Around you, the room dissolves: there is only her skin, her scent, the liquid pull of her around your shaft—a mosaic of need and nectar, each fragment a revelation.

You kiss her deeply, tasting the salt of her surrender, as the world fractures, reforms, and fractures again.

—

Sheets tangled like an afterthought. A leg hooked over yours, pinning you in place with the quiet authority of someone who has long since decided where they belong. The desk fan ticks through its slow, mechanical arc, stirring the air, stirring her hair, making it brush your chin in the softest, smallest way possible.

She shifts, just enough for her ribs to press against yours. You feel her breathing. Deep. Slow. Listening.

‘I have an audition next week,’ she says, voice barely above a whisper.

‘For what?’

‘Community theater. Spring show.’ A pause. Then, quietly, ‘It’s dumb.’

‘You don’t do dumb things.’

She laughs. A real one. The kind that scrunches her nose a little, that makes her shoulders shake just enough to jostle you.

‘Except this,’ she murmurs. Her fingers trace slow circles on your chest.

‘This was a strategic decision.’

‘Oh?’

‘Carefully calculated.’

She laughs again, softer this time. Her breath is warm where it spills against your collarbone. You could live here. Right here, in the space between her voice and her warmth and the way her hair tickles your skin.

She props herself up on one elbow, looking down at you. The Christmas lights outside flicker purples and blues across her face, her skin, making her look like something caught between a dream and waking. Her smile is quiet. Not big, not blinding. Just there. Something she’s forgotten to hide.

‘Hey,’ she says.

‘Hey.’

Her fingers tap lightly against your chest. ‘Remember when you proposed to me behind the school?’

‘Which time.’

She grins. ‘The time I lost the play to Wonyoung and cried so hard I got a nosebleed.’

‘Ah. I told you it didn’t matter because you’d always be the lead in my story.’

She groans, dropping her forehead to your shoulder. ‘You were so corny.’

‘Still am.’

‘Yeah,’ she murmurs. ‘You are.’

You feel her smile against your skin.

The fan clicks on again, stirring the night, the space between you. The crickets outside hum in harmony with the distant sound of a train—faint, but there. The whole world is slowing down. Breathing with you.

She shifts again, nestles closer. Her lips brush your skin—your collarbone, then just above your heart.

‘I can hear you thinking,’ you say.

She sighs, slow and steady. ‘Just… happy.’

You don’t say anything. Just hold her tighter. Like keeping her close might keep the moment from slipping away.

She pulls back, just far enough to see you, really see you. Her hair is a mess. Her lips are still swollen. The Christmas lights turn her eyes into something impossible, something endless.

‘I love you, you know,’ she says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like she’s never known anything else.

You smile. ‘I know.’

She kisses you. Slow, deep, soft. Like a secret. Like an answer.

The fan ticks. The lights flicker. The night stretches on.

—

It was supposed to be small. A local theater gig, a footnote in her life story. Something that kept her busy while she figured out the rest. That was the plan.

Then a casting director walked into the wrong show on the right night. A single scene, a single line delivered with the kind of weight that makes people stop chewing their popcorn. Two weeks later, she’s everywhere.

At first, it’s just murmurs. Articles in the culture section. Buzzwords like promising, raw talent, the next big thing. Then the billboards go up. Magazines with her face—half-laughing, half-serious, eyes catching the camera like they know something you don’t. The first time you see one, it’s plastered on the side of a bus stop you used to share, back when the only lines she rehearsed were whispered promises and badly sung pop songs.

Now she’s too big for Dunsan-dong.

Not just big. Seismic.

Korea’s sweetheart, the industry's new obsession. Agencies circle like sharks with briefcases, smiling through teeth polished for negotiation. They offer her everything—money, sponsorships, a life where she doesn’t have to wait for the subway or count change at convenience stores. And she takes it, not because she’s greedy, but because this is what she was always meant to be.

You watch it happen the way people watch slow-motion car crashes. Helpless. Horrified. A little bit in awe.

Because here’s the thing they never warn you about when you love someone who's destined for greatness: fame isn’t a door. It’s a chasm. You can’t walk through it holding hands.

At first, you convince yourself nothing’s changed. You still talk, still text. But her replies come slower, her voice more rehearsed. The calls happen between set breaks, her voice filtered through exhaustion and bad reception.

Then the interviews start. The talk shows. The press tours.

She gets good at the answers, the little smiles, the artful dodges. The first time someone asks if she’s dating anyone, she hesitates. Just for a second. Just long enough for the internet to notice.

You tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything. That she’s protecting you. That this is just part of the machine.

But a few weeks later, you see a headline:

‘The Nation’s New Star: Who is Yujin’s Mystery First Love?’

And for the first time, it hits you—really hits you—how easy it is to be rewritten.

The tabloids build their own history, constructing boyfriends from old classmates, exes from co-stars. They don’t name you. They don’t have to. Because in the world they’ve built, you don’t exist.

And maybe, you start to think, maybe you never did.

Maybe love isn’t enough when it’s up against the weight of the world. Maybe you were naive to think you could be something more than a footnote in her legend.

Maybe you were never really two. Maybe it was always just her.

Moving forward. Rising higher.

And you—

You’re just the idiot standing still, watching her disappear into the stars.

—

Yujin called you up.

The night was cutting: cold, unrelenting Snow blew sideways, a thousand tiny knives catching on your exposed skin, but you sat there anyway—legs crossed, hands in your lap, all polite.

The bench was old, paint curling at the edges, the kind of place people only sat when they had no better options. You smiled at the irony.

You’d met Yujin in worse places. Loved her in worse places.

And maybe, just maybe, lost her in worse places too.

Then she emerged from the fog, a silhouette first, then a shape, then a person.

Five benches away. Maybe six. Distance had become an abstract concept, like time, like certainty, like the idea that love—real love—was enough to hold the weight of the whole goddamn world.

She didn’t sit. Didn’t hesitate.

‘Let’s break up.’

The words didn’t belong to the girl who used to steal fries from your plate, who used to call you at 2 AM because she saw a cat in the street and thought you needed to know. They belonged to someone else. Someone who had spent hours, maybe days, rehearsing.

Her voice was final. Her eyes were final. Everything about her, from the way she stood to the way the wind refused to touch her, was final.

You should’ve said something.

Anything.

But the air left your lungs in one sharp exhale, stolen by the weight of three syllables arranged in an execution sentence.

The snow caught in her hair, in her lashes, in the hollow curve of her collarbone, and she looked—god, she looked—like something from a dream you had once, the kind you woke from gasping, reaching for someone who wasn’t there.

And then she wasn’t.

She turned. Walked away. Snow swallowed her whole.

You could’ve chased her. Could’ve fallen to your knees, begged, pleaded, made a scene, made a fool of yourself. Could’ve grabbed her wrist, reminded her that you were not just some chapter to be closed. Could’ve thrown every memory, every quiet moment, every touch, every whispered I love you in her face like proof of something sacred.

But you didn’t.

Because Yujin never spoke like this. Not unless she meant it.

And that’s what gutted you most.

You sat there long after she was gone, staring at the place she used to be, like if you looked hard enough, you could rewind time, unbreak whatever fragile thing had finally snapped between you.

The sky stretched empty above you, stars sharp against the ink. You tried counting them. Tried counting anything to stop counting the ways you’d just lost her.

One star. Two. One mistake. Two. Three years. Four. Five benches away.

Maybe six. The wind howled, and you let it.

—

The beer’s flat, but that’s not why it tastes bad.

You lean against the bar, watching foam dissolve into something thin and lifeless, the way good things always do. Three years distilled into neon lights and a tab you don’t remember opening.

She’s 24 now. You keep count because she was impossible to avoid—billboards, subway ads, every damn screen flashing her face like she owns the world. And maybe she does. The brightest star, the nation’s darling, the girl who left and became.

You should be proud. You tell yourself you are.

But pride doesn’t feel like this. Doesn’t sit heavy in your ribs like grief. Doesn’t twist like a blade when you flip through channels and land on her.

The latest drama. Friends-to-lovers, some rom-com fluff. A special kind of hell, watching her fall for someone else, even if it’s scripted.

And the kiss—god, the kiss.

Over and over. Different angles, different takes. The guy has trepid shoulders and a weaker mouth. You want to reach through the screen, grab him by his stupid collar, shake him until he understands: You don’t get to kiss Yujin like that unless you mean it.

The beer in your hand swirls, a storm in a pint glass. You watch it spin, thinking about how everything these days seems determined to drown you.

Then Roach walks in.

Roach—half philosopher, half walking disaster. A man with too many past lives and a prosthetic eye that glows faintly under bar light, making him look part machine, part ghost.

‘That recovery group, they’re solid,’ he says, by way of hello. His voice is like chewing on gravel. ‘Might’ve been able to quit if I stuck around.’ ‘4.8 stars on Google, right?’ ‘Right. Wait. How’d you know that?’ His synthetic eye sits there while the real one narrows. ‘Been there.’ ‘What?’ ‘Been there. You recommended it.’ Roach laughs, short and sharp. ‘That was the review forum.’ ‘Memory’s fuzzy.’ ‘Fuzzy? You’re getting soft.’ ‘All those reviews read like discount novels, Roach.’ ‘Why the hell would I write reviews?’ ‘Same reason you do anything—to feel something.’ He smacks your chest, hard enough to make you look up. ‘Yujin broke you. Plain as day.’ Your throat tightens. The name alone feels like a switchblade. ‘It’s not like that… anymore.’ ‘Sure looks like it.’ ‘How’s that?’ ‘You’re on the leaderboard in this bar. They’re bleeding you dry, and you’re letting them.’ You don’t argue. Just take another sip. ‘Don’t deserve this money anyway.’ ‘Then give it elsewhere. There’s an orphanage across the street.’ ‘Don’t play saint with me.’ ‘It’s just a block away.’ ‘Fuck off.’ ‘Just a block—’ ‘Fine.’ You press your glass against the table, like the condensation might hold you steady. ‘I’ll think about it.’ Roach grins like he’s won something. ‘Ever watch her show?’ he asks, tilting his flask toward you. You hesitate. ‘Not really.’ ‘Bullshit. Saw you yesterday. That rain scene.’ Your grip tightens around the glass. The rain scene. You were there. Back when “we” still meant something. Holding her coat between takes, watching her shiver between scripted heartbreaks. ‘She always cried pretty,’ you murmur. ‘Even back then.’ Roach nods, takes a sip. ‘Tell me about it.’ You do. You don’t mean to, but you do. ‘Nothing to tell,’ you start. ‘I was nobody. She was becoming somebody. Simple math.’ ‘That’s not what I heard.’ ‘Yeah? What’d you hear?’ ‘That you proposed. Night before Seoul.’ The beer sours in your mouth. ‘Who told you that?’ ‘Does it matter? True though, isn’t it?’ You let out something that’s supposed to be a laugh. ‘Got the ring from my grandmother. Vintage Tiffany, art deco. Yujin loved vintage.’ ‘And?’ ‘And she cried. Not the pretty kind.’ You see it now, clear as the night it happened—her shaking hands, the way she pressed the box back into yours like it burned. ‘Said she couldn’t. Said she wasn't ready. I guess that was the foreshadowing: she broke up with me just a week later.’ ‘A choice between you and fame?’ ‘Between real life and the life she’d dreamed of since she was six. No contest, really.’ Roach doesn’t speak for a while. Just stares at the bar like it’s holding the right words. ‘Where’s the ring now?’ You smirk, but it tastes like blood. ‘Pawned it. Bought a week of blackout drunk and a ticket anywhere else.’ Roach exhales, long and low. His eyes flick to your watch, but nothing gold can compare to what you lost. ‘And here you are.’ ‘Here I am.’ Bass pulses through the walls, someone screams about love on the dance floor, and the bartender slides another drink toward you like it might fix anything. Roach downs the rest of his flask, claps a hand on your shoulder. ‘Well. Good luck with that. Got a missus waiting. Let me know when you find one.’ You don’t look at him. ‘We might never speak again.’ ‘Doubt that.’ A pat on the back, one final grin. Then he’s gone. You scoff. If ever. And you leave.

—

Seoul in summer is a thing that sticks. To your skin, to your thoughts, to the spaces between breath. Heat rises off the pavement, thick and wet, settling in your lungs like something permanent.

The city is wide awake, but softer at this hour. Convenience store fluorescents hover in the humidity, blurring edges. Subway vents exhale something metallic, ghostly. The crickets don’t know they live in a city. They just keep singing.

You walk. Not home, not anywhere. Just walking, because it’s better than stopping.

Stopping means remembering.

Every street corner holds a version of her. The Yujin who stole fries off your plate, who could sleep through a fireworks show, who once convinced you that every ice cream cone tasted better if it was half-melted. She’s there, tucked into flickering billboards, frozen mid-laugh on subway ads, threaded between the chords of songs you don’t mean to hear.

You take the long way. Five, six corners. Maybe more.

Then the bus stop appears.

Half-forgotten. Almost overgrown. A bench with its paint peeling like old skin, weeds curling around the edges like they might swallow it whole.

You sit. Elbows on knees. Hands folded. Thinking. Not thinking.

The streetlight buzzes. The air is thick with waiting.

Then—

A shadow falls across your feet.

A shift in pressure. Not wind, just something. The moment before a storm, before impact, before memory collides with the present and makes a mess of everything.

‘What are you doing here?’ Soft. Not a blade, not a wound. Just a question that lands like an old habit.

You don’t need to look. But you do. Because some habits don’t break.

Yujin stands there, framed by sodium light, hands tucked into the pockets of a hoodie that looks too soft to exist. No cameras. No entourage. Just her.

And god—just her is enough to knock the breath out of your chest.

‘Hiding?’ Soft. Like the question isn’t a question, just something to fill the space between heartbeats.

You don’t look up right away. You know the shape of her. You’ve spent years knowing it. The way she stands, weight slightly to one side. The way her voice lands, gentle, edged with something only you ever got to hear.

But you look anyway. Because it’s her. And some rules of the universe don’t change.

Yujin.

Not the Yujin on billboards, the Yujin on magazine covers, the Yujin who belongs to a nation that adores her.

Just Yujin.

Hair a little messy. Hoodie swallowing her frame. Hands tucked into the sleeves like she’s bracing against a cold that doesn’t exist.

And—god. Her eyes. Still warm. Still familiar. Still Dunsan-dong in their quiet, endless way.

She tilts her head. Smiles. The kind of smile that makes you feel seventeen again, like you just said something stupid and brilliant in the same breath.

‘Hiding?’ she repeats, softer this time.

‘Hiding implies I have something to hide from.’

‘And do you?’

A pause. Then—

‘Maybe.’

A hum. A small shift in weight. Then she sits. Just like that. No asking, no hesitation. Just sits, close enough that her knee brushes yours, like muscle memory, like the past hasn’t completely given up on you yet.

The air smells like street food, like summer. Somewhere, a neon sign hums its last flickers before shutting off for the night.

She bumps her shoulder against yours.

‘Missed you, you know.’

You turn your head. Blink. She’s watching you, like the sentence wasn’t a trap, wasn’t something heavy. Just… true.

You swallow.

‘Yeah?’

She nods, pulling her sleeves over her hands. ‘Yeah.’

The night stretches. Not awkward. Not tight with something unspoken. Just easy. Just… there.

‘How’s life?’ she asks.

‘Oh, you know. Full of bad choices.’

‘Any good ones?’

‘Still deciding.’

She breathes out a laugh, soft.

You glance at her, at the curve of her nose, the way she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear like she’s done since she was a kid.

‘You look…’ she starts, then tilts her head.

‘What?’

‘The same.’

You huff a laugh. ‘That’s a lie.’

‘No.’ She nudges your knee again. ‘You’re just… still you.’

And it’s so simple, the way she says it. So casual, like she hasn’t just pulled the breath from your lungs.

You don’t answer. Not yet.

She leans in slightly.

‘Still drink too much coffee?’

‘Still sleep through earthquakes?’

Her grin widens. ‘Still remember that?’

‘Some things don’t change.’

‘Some do.’

A small shift. A glance. A fraction closer.

And the city moves around you, oblivious.

But you?

You stay still.

You stay here.

Yujin sighs, long and soft, tilting her head back, watching the streetlight cast flickering halos through the humidity.

‘Seoul’s different at night,’ she murmurs. ‘Seoul’s different all the time.’

She hums, half in agreement, half just because she likes the sound. You forgot about that—the way she used to make tiny noises when she was thinking, little musical notes that filled in the gaps between words.

‘Feels slower now,’ she says. ‘That’s just you.’ She turns to you, eyes warm. ‘Yeah?’ You nod. ‘Everything moves too fast for you these days. You forgot what slow feels like.’ A small smile. ‘Remind me?’ Something tightens in your chest. She doesn’t mean it like that. Doesn’t mean it like anything more than what it is—a quiet moment, a quiet ask. But still. You shift, leaning back against the bench, stretching your arms across the top like you own the night. Like it doesn’t own you. ‘Alright,’ you say. ‘Lesson one: sitting still.’ She huffs a laugh but follows your lead, sinking deeper into the wood, legs stretching out. Her foot knocks against yours. ‘Like this?’ ‘Yeah.’ A beat. ‘And then what?’ ‘Nothing.’ She raises a brow. ‘That’s it?’ ‘That’s it.’ She exhales, slow and thoughtful. ‘You always made things feel easy,’ she says, voice quiet, like she’s afraid of disrupting the moment. You glance at her, and she’s not looking at you—just at the night, at the city, at something only she can see. ‘Not sure that’s true,’ you admit. ‘No, it is.’ She pulls her sleeves over her hands again, eyes flicking toward you. ‘You made me feel easy. Like… breathing.’ Something inside you curls at the edges. ‘Yujin—’ ‘It’s okay.’ She shakes her head, soft, smiling like she’s telling you not to carry it too heavily. ‘I’m just remembering.’ The city hums around you both. A distant motorbike rumbles past. Somewhere, an old radio plays a song you half recognize. You look at her again. Hair slightly mussed. Eyes bright, soft, familiar. Like she was never gone at all. She shifts, tucking one leg under the other, hands still hidden in her sleeves.

‘You ever think about calling?’ Her voice is light. Not demanding. Not accusing. Just... wondering. You let out a slow breath. ‘You ever think about picking up?’ A small laugh, exhale-soft. ‘Yeah.’ You glance at her, and she’s already looking at you, chin propped against her knee, smile barely-there but real. ‘But I figured you needed time,’ she says. You swallow. ‘Did I?’ Her fingers twitch against the fabric of her hoodie. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I just told myself that so I wouldn’t call.’ The honesty knocks something loose in your chest. You don’t say anything for a moment. The city moves around you both, neon humming against the wet pavement, the smell of night air thick with too many things. Then, quietly— ‘Three years is a long time, Yujin.’ ‘I know.’

She shifts, slow, careful, like she’s turning over a fragile thought in her hands. ‘But I never wanted it to be forever.’ Your throat tightens. You want to ask her then why did you leave like it was? But you don’t. Because you already know the answer. Because she was always meant for something bigger. Because she was scared, because you were scared, because maybe—just maybe—back then, love wasn’t enough to hold everything steady.

Instead, you say, ‘You look good, you know.’ Her lips curve, soft. ‘You do too.’ You scoff, tipping your head back against the bench. ‘Liar.’ ‘I never lied to you.’ That shuts you up. For a moment, you let it sink in. The weight of her voice, the way she says it like it’s a fact, like it’s something you should’ve never doubted. Then, softer— ‘You really never called?’ she asks. ‘I really never called.’ She doesn’t look away. ‘Why?’ You inhale. Let the air sit heavy in your lungs. ‘Because I thought you’d be better off without me.’ The words land, quiet and unpolished. Yujin blinks. Then— ‘You idiot.’ And then she’s moving, shifting closer, her fingers finding your sleeve, gripping just slightly, just enough for you to feel her there, to feel her warmth against the fabric. ‘Do you know how many times I almost showed up at your door?’ she says, voice soft but steady. ‘How many times I wanted to tell you that I was still here? That I—’ She stops. Exhales. Looks away, looks back. ‘That I missed you?’ You swallow. She’s close now. Not quite touching, but nearly. The air between you charged, something slow, something waiting. Your heart does something complicated in your chest. ‘You missed me?’ you murmur. Yujin smiles, small, fond. ‘Of course, you idiot.’ The city hums. The night exhales. And you— You don’t move away. Yujin stays close. Close enough for you to count her breaths, to feel the warmth of her body radiating through the space between you. You should say something. You should do something. Instead, you just sit there. And Yujin—Yujin lets you.

Her fingers stay curled into your sleeve, loose but certain. Like she’s testing gravity, checking to see if you’ll stay, if you’ll shift, if you’ll remind her that you’re real. She tilts her head, watching you the way she used to—like she’s memorizing you, like she’s trying to fit you back into the version of her life where you were always supposed to be. And maybe she is. Maybe she’s wondering how you look the same but feel different. Maybe she’s cataloging the way your shoulders have set a little heavier, the way your mouth curves in thought before you speak. Or maybe she’s just looking. Like she never stopped. ‘So,’ she says, voice light, careful. ‘What now?’ A question too big for this moment. A question you can’t answer, not yet. So you do what you always do. You deflect. You lean back, arms stretching across the top of the bench, looking at her out of the corner of your eye. ‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’ She lifts a brow. ‘You were always the planner.’ She snorts. ‘Hardly.’ ‘Oh? I seem to remember someone who had color-coded schedules for summer break.’ ‘That was one summer.’

‘Still counts.’ She exhales a laugh, tipping her head back against the bench, looking up at the sky. ‘Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little obsessed with plans.’ ‘A little?’

She shoots you a look, but it’s all warmth. All familiarity. ‘You liked it,’ she says. ‘It was efficient. It was cute.’

You hesitate. Just slightly. But she catches it. Of course she does. Her smile softens.

‘You can say it, you know.’ You tilt your head, pretending to be confused. ‘Say what?’ ‘That you missed me too.’

Something about the way she says it makes your stomach pull tight. Not teasing. Not fishing. Just true. You turn back to the street, watching the way the neon catches in the puddles, turning them into something like galaxies.

‘You already know.’ Yujin hums. ‘I want to hear it anyway.’ You exhale.

Three years of distance. Three years of silence. Three years of trying to unwrite the part of your life where she belonged.

‘Yeah,’ you say, voice quiet. ‘I missed you.’

Yujin doesn’t say anything right away. Then—

Her hand slides fully into your sleeve, warm against your wrist. A small thing. A quiet thing. But it’s enough.

‘Good,’ she murmurs.

You sit there like that for a while. Neither of you moving. Neither of you pulling away. And for the first time in years—

The silence between you doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a beginning.

Her hand stays there. Not gripping. Not holding. Just resting, warm against your wrist, like it belongs there. Like it never left.

You let out a slow breath. Three years. Three whole years. And somehow, this—her, the quiet press of her skin against yours, the way she’s just here—feels so natural it makes your ribs ache.

‘What are we doing, Yujin?’

Soft. Not accusing. Just—just needing to know if she feels it too, if this night is supposed to mean what you think it does.

She tilts her head, slow. Her hair slips over her shoulder, catching the streetlight in its strands. ‘Talking?’

A small, careful smile.

You huff. ‘Is that what this is?’

She hums, shifts a little closer, foot knocking against yours. ‘I don’t know. Feels nice, though.’

Nice. Nice, like it isn’t everything. Nice, like you aren’t suddenly breathing her in again, like your body hasn’t been on high alert since the moment she walked into your orbit tonight.

You roll your wrist slightly, just enough so that your fingers brush hers. She doesn’t pull away.

The city hums. The night exhales. And then—

‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ she asks.

It’s an easy question. A simple one. But something about it knots itself into your chest, makes your throat tight. Because that’s always how it was with her. Yujin never asked for big things. Just small ones, one after another, adding up to something impossible to resist.

Do you want to get ice cream? Do you want to climb onto the roof? Do you want to watch the rain with me? Do you want to stay?

And you had always said yes.

You glance at her now, at the way she’s watching you, hopeful but not pushing, patient in the way only she could ever be. A walk. A moment. A step toward something you don’t quite know how to name.

You exhale, slow. Then you stand.

‘Lead the way.’

Her smile—god. Her smile.

She slips her hand fully into yours, easy, thoughtless, like muscle memory. Like no time has passed at all.

And you— You let her.

The street hums around you, the last traces of night shifting toward something softer. The vendors have mostly packed up, but the scent of grilled meat and frying oil still lingers, floating warm through the thick summer air.

Yujin’s hand stays in yours. Not tight. Not hesitant. Just there. Like it was always meant to be.

You walk without direction. Just moving, side by side, the way you used to. Her footsteps match yours easily, a quiet sync neither of you planned.

‘Where are we going?’ you ask, voice low.

‘Nowhere,’ she says.

It makes you smile.

A few years ago, that answer would have annoyed her. Yujin, the girl with color-coded schedules, with plans so detailed they might as well have been carved into stone. But now she just says it like it’s enough. Like it’s the whole point.

She swings your hands slightly, absentminded. ‘You always walked like this,’ she murmurs.

‘Like what?’

She shrugs. ‘Like the city doesn’t own you.’

You breathe in, slow. The neon of old convenience stores, the occasional flickering of a streetlamp. ‘I guess I never let it.’

She hums. ‘I did.’

You glance at her. ‘Yujin—’

‘It’s okay,’ she cuts in, smiling. ‘I wanted to. I just—’ She exhales, presses her lips together for a moment, then shakes her head. ‘I forgot how good it feels to walk like this. Without thinking.’

You squeeze her hand just slightly.

She notices. Her thumb brushes the edge of your palm. Not an accident. Not a mistake.

The city stretches ahead of you, quiet. ‘You ever think about coming back?’ you ask.

She doesn’t answer right away. Her fingers tighten around yours, just a little.

‘I used to dream about it,’ she says, voice softer now. ‘I’d wake up thinking I was still in Dunsan-dong. That I’d step outside and find you waiting, like always.’

Your throat goes tight. She turns her head, studies your face in the flickering light.

‘But I was scared,’ she says, gentle. ‘What if you were different? What if I was?’

You don’t look away. ‘And now?’

A breath. A small, small smile. ‘I think I was scared of the wrong thing.’

Your heart stumbles.

She slows, pulling you toward the edge of the sidewalk, toward a tiny park that barely qualifies as a park—a patch of grass, a few trees. The kind of place nobody notices. She stops. Turns to face you.

You should say something. You should say everything.

But she beats you to it.

‘You were always the best part of my life,’ she says, voice steady, firm, like she’s decided something for herself.

Your pulse jumps. ‘Yujin—’

‘I just needed you to know that.’

She’s looking at you like she’s bracing for impact. Like she’s not sure what you’ll do with this thing she’s handing you.

So you take it. Carefully, quietly, the way she deserves.

You lift your hand—the one she’s not holding—and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath catches.

‘Yeah?’ you murmur.

She nods.

And then, softer—

‘I think you were always mine.’

You don’t know who moves first. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Because the next thing you know, her hands are on your face, and your mouth is against hers, and the whole city dissolves around you.

She tastes like everything you remember. Like fine tea and something sweeter, something that was always just hers. She presses closer, hands slipping down to your collar, holding you there like you might disappear.

You won’t. Not this time.

When you pull back, she’s breathing fast, forehead resting against yours. You smile.

‘Still walk like the city doesn’t own me?’ you murmur.

She laughs, breathless, and pulls you back in.

Yujin kisses like a memory you never let go of. Like muscle memory, like breathing. Like the space between your ribs was always meant to make room for her.

She pulls back, just enough for her nose to brush yours. Her breath is warm, uneven. Her hands are still curled into the collar of your shirt, holding, gripping, keeping.

You open your eyes. She’s already looking at you.

Not like the girl on the billboards, not like the actress on screen. Just Yujin. Soft, real, right here.

Her lips are pink and kiss-bitten. She blinks slowly, dazed, like she’s trying to piece together what just happened. And then—

Then she laughs.

Not a big laugh. Not loud. Just this tiny, incredulous little sound. Like she can’t believe it. Like she can’t believe you.

‘What?’ you murmur.

She shakes her head, smiling, fingers still resting against your collar. ‘I don’t know.’

‘That’s a first.’

She huffs. ‘Shut up.’

‘Make me.’

A flicker of something in her eyes. Amusement. Mischief. Something else.

She tilts her head, considering. Then, in one slow movement, she leans in—

Not kissing you, not quite. Just close enough that her lips barely graze yours. Close enough that you can feel her smile.

‘Tempting,’ she murmurs.

Your heart stumbles.

But then she pulls away, slipping her fingers from your shirt, stepping back onto the sidewalk, like she’s giving you space to breathe.

You don’t need it. But you let her.

The city hums around you, the distant rumble of a car engine, the occasional flicker of neon against damp pavement.

You watch as Yujin tilts her head toward the sky, stretching her arms out, exhaling like she’s just remembered how.

‘I forgot what this feels like,’ she admits.

‘What?’

‘Not thinking.’ She lets her hands drop to her sides, flexing her fingers. ‘Not planning every second of my life in advance. Just… being.’

You shift, watching her.

‘I don’t think I’ve done that in years,’ she says.

A pause. Then, softly—

‘Stay with me.’

Your heart does something complicated in your chest.

She looks over, a little hesitant now, like she’s not sure how the words sound out loud.

‘I mean—’ she starts, but you shake your head.

‘Okay.’

Her lips part slightly.

Like she expected you to hesitate. Like she thought she’d have to convince you.

You step closer. Just enough that the space between you disappears again.

‘Okay?’ she echoes.

You nod.

Then, quieter—‘Anywhere.’

Yujin’s face softens.

And god, it’s so easy, the way she looks at you. Like you are something known. Like she is something understood.

She lets out a small, breathy laugh, reaching up to brush her thumb against the corner of your mouth.

‘You’re so stupid,’ she murmurs.

‘You love it.’

‘Yeah,’ she says, shaking her head. ‘Yeah, I do.’

She slips her hand back into yours, fingers threading together like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like she never left. Like you never let her.

And the city stretches ahead, wide open, waiting.

You should take a taxi. That would be the smart thing. A quiet, unremarkable way to disappear from the city before someone notices Korea’s brightest star walking hand-in-hand with someone who isn’t famous, isn’t scripted, isn’t anything but hers.

But Yujin shakes her head.

‘Not yet,’ she says.

So you walk.

She keeps close, hood pulled low, fingers curled into yours. The streets are thinning out, the city exhaling into its quieter hours. The air smells like fried oil and pavement, the ghosts of dinner service still hanging in the air.

She bumps into you once, then twice.

‘Are you always this bad at walking?’ you ask.

She grins, breathless. ‘I think I forgot how to do it with company.’

Company. Company.

You’re not sure if you’re relieved of that; that she was too busy to even meander through lazy lovers.

You squeeze her hand. She squeezes back.

Your place isn’t far, but when you reach it—when Yujin stops at the entrance, tilting her head back to take it all in—something shifts.

‘Huh.’

That’s all she says.

You fight a smirk. ‘Huh?’

She makes a small noise, arms crossed, like she’s trying not to look impressed.

‘You kept acting like you lived in a shoebox.’

You raise a brow. ‘Did I?’

‘Yeah.’ She gestures vaguely to the high-rise, the massive glass windows catching the city lights. ‘I was expecting something small. Modest. Maybe a bachelor pad with an ugly couch and a tragic little coffee table.’

You scoff. ‘What do you take me for?’

‘A very humble man, apparently.’

You shake your head, leading her inside.

The elevator is empty. Too bright. Too quiet.

She rocks on her heels. ‘So, do I get the grand tour?’

‘I don’t know,’ you say, pretending to think. ‘You might not be able to handle it. Very overwhelming.’

She elbows you in the side, laughing. ‘Shut up.’

The doors slide open.

She steps out first, into the hallway, waiting while you fish your keys from your pocket.

She glances over. ‘I still can’t believe you live here.’

‘Why?’

She shrugs. ‘It’s just weird.’

‘Weird how?’

She scrunches her nose, like she doesn’t quite know how to explain it. ‘I don’t know. You just never cared about stuff like this.’

You unlock the door.

She steps inside.

And immediately—

‘Oh my god.’

You roll your eyes, shutting the door behind you. ‘What now?’

She turns in a slow circle, taking everything in. The high ceilings, the floor-to-ceiling windows, the soft lighting that spills across the polished wood.

‘Are you kidding?’ she says, spinning toward you, mouth open in faux outrage. ‘This is beautiful.’

You snort. ‘What, you thought I was sleeping in a broom closet?’

‘Yes.’

‘Wow. Faith in me is strong, I see.’

She grins, moving toward the living room. ‘No, it’s just—’ She shakes her head, fingers brushing over the back of the sleek, perfectly chosen couch. ‘You were always so… comfortable with less. I figured, even if you had money, you’d still live like some struggling artist in a shoebox.’

You scoff, kicking off your shoes. ‘What does that even mean?’

‘Like, I don’t know, sleeping on a mattress on the floor. A single sad chair. Stacks of books everywhere.’

You raise a brow. ‘So your image of me is basically a broke philosophy major?’

She shrugs. ‘It suited you.’

You exhale a laugh.

‘But this,’ she gestures around again, ‘this is… grown-up.’

‘Was I not grown-up before?’

She grins. ‘No.’

‘Wow.’

‘But,’ she continues, stepping toward the floor-to-ceiling windows, where the city spills out in front of her like a living, breathing thing, ‘I like it. It feels like you.’

You pause.

Not expensive. Not fancy. Not over-the-top.

It feels like you.

You scratch the back of your neck, looking away.

‘Yeah?’

She nods. ‘Yeah.’

She turns back to the glass, resting her fingers lightly against the frame. ‘You can see the river from here.’

You step up beside her.

It’s a view you see every day, but somehow, with Yujin here, it looks different.

She breathes in. ‘It’s nice.’

You breathe her in.

‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It is.’

She turns.

And then she kisses you.

Not careful. Not planned.

Just Yujin.

She tilts her head, presses up slightly on her toes, and meets your mouth with something warm, something easy.

It’s not perfect.

She misses, just slightly. Laughs into the kiss. Her hands fumble for your collar but find your wrist instead.

But god—

It’s real.

You breathe her in. Hold her waist. Feel her fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt like she’s trying to pull you closer, closer.

She hums against your lips, smiling.

You grin. ‘You missed.’

She exhales a laugh. ‘Shut up.’

‘Make me.’

She does.

The kisses are clumsy, messy, soft. The kind that happens when two people are trying to remember, trying to relearn each other in real-time.

She tugs at your shirt.

You trip over the edge of the couch.

She gasps.

You land in a heap, tangled together, breathless.

Silence.

Then—

She laughs.

Bright, full, head tipped back against your chest.

You groan, letting your head fall back against the cushions. ‘Unbelievable.’

She grins, shifting so she’s straddling your lap. ‘I don’t know, I think it’s fitting.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah.’ She leans in, pressing her forehead against yours. ‘Clumsy love suits us.’

Your breath catches.

Then, softer—

‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It does.’

She cups your face, fingers warm against your jaw.

The city hums outside, unaware.

And you—

You stay here.

With her.

You don’t know who says it first.

Maybe her. Maybe you. Maybe neither of you—maybe it’s just implied, wrapped up in the way she’s still sitting in your lap, fingers absently tracing patterns over your collarbone, skin warm against yours.

But at some point, between the teasing and the breathless little ohs that slip between kisses, it just becomes a fact.

You’re both too warm.

Too sticky from the night air, from walking too long through humid Seoul streets, from the thick summer heat pressing against the glass of your windows.

‘Shower,’ she murmurs.

You’re not sure if it’s a request or a declaration, but either way—

‘Yeah,’ you say.

And then you’re moving.

Yujin laughs when you lift her off the couch, stumbling slightly as you navigate through the apartment. She doesn’t let go, arms slung loosely around your neck, breath warm against your ear.

‘Are you always this dramatic?’ she asks.

‘You love it.’

She hums, not denying it.

The bathroom is bright, too bright, the kind of brightness that makes everything feel a little more real than you’re prepared for. But Yujin doesn’t hesitate—just pulls her hoodie over her head, shakes her hair out, steps closer like she’s done this a thousand times.

Like she’s never left.

You watch as she turns toward the mirror, tilting her head slightly.

‘Haven’t been in a place like this in a while,’ she muses.

‘A bathroom?’

She snorts, shoving you lightly. ‘No, this kind of bathroom.’ She waves a hand vaguely, indicating the open shower, the marble walls, the soft lighting. ‘It’s fancy.’

You roll your eyes, reaching for the faucet. ‘You act like you don’t stay in five-star hotels every week.’

‘That’s different.’

‘How?’

She steps behind you, pressing her chin against your shoulder. ‘This feels like you.’

You don’t know what to say to that.

So you don’t say anything at all.

The water warms between your fingers, steam rising slowly.

Yujin hums, stepping forward, slipping her fingers under the hem of your shirt. ‘Come on.’

You don’t move.

She looks up, amused. ‘What, suddenly shy?’

You scoff, shaking your head, but your pulse jumps when her fingers skate lightly against your stomach.

She grins. ‘Cute.’

‘What is?’

‘Three years apart, and you’re still so you.’

You exhale a laugh, finally pulling your shirt over your head. She does the same, tossing her clothes into a messy pile, and then—

Then it’s just you and her, standing too close, bare skin meeting for the first time in what feels like forever.

Her breath catches.

You hear it. Feel it.

And god—

She’s so beautiful.

All golden skin and soft curves and the kind of warmth that could make the whole city feel like home.

She watches you, expectant, waiting.

You don’t make her wait long.

You reach for her—

And she lets you.

Lets you pull her in, lets you kiss her slow, deep, careful, like you’re memorizing her all over again.

She sighs into your mouth, hands trailing up your arms, curling into your hair.

‘Come on,’ she whispers.

And this time—

You listen.

The water is hot, almost too hot, but neither of you care.

Yujin steps under first, exhaling as the warmth rolls over her skin, tilting her head back so that her hair darkens, slick against her shoulders.

You’re distracted.

Too distracted.

Because—

Because she’s standing there, all bare skin and soft curves and Yujin, looking at you like she already knows exactly what you’re thinking.

‘Are you going to keep staring?’ she teases.

You swallow. ‘Maybe.’

She laughs, stepping forward, reaching for the shampoo.

You should move. Should help. Should do something.

But instead, you just—

Just watch.

The way she hums under her breath, the way she lathers the shampoo into her hair, fingers massaging small circles against her scalp.

You’re so lost in it, in her, that you don’t even realize she’s finished—

Until she suddenly turns, tilts her head, and smiles.

‘Come here.’

You don’t hesitate.

She tugs you forward, fingers threading through your hair, working shampoo into your scalp like it’s something sacred, something worth taking her time with.

And god—

God, you forgot how good this feels.

Forgot what it was like to just be, to just exist under someone’s hands, to let yourself be cared for in a way that doesn’t feel heavy, doesn’t feel like a transaction.

Her fingers move slowly, carefully, her nails scraping lightly against your skin.

You close your eyes.

Breathe.

Let yourself lean into it.

Let yourself lean into her.

And she—

She lets you.

She’s still rinsing when you reach for her.

‘What—’

You shush her, hands skimming up her sides, guiding her under the water’s warmth.

She lets you.

Lets you tilt her chin slightly, lets you press a kiss just below her ear, lets you work your fingers into her hair like she’s something holy.

Her breath catches.

You hear it, feel it, let it sink into your bones.

‘Close your eyes,’ you murmur.

She hesitates—just a fraction of a second—then obeys.

The water slides down her face, over her lips, down the elegant curve of her throat.

You watch, transfixed.

Then you move.

You reach for the shampoo, work it between your hands, and Yujin’s confused—’Again?’—but when your fingers find her scalp—

She melts.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen her this undone.

Head tilted slightly, mouth parted, body soft beneath your touch.

She hums, a small, quiet sound, like she’s just remembered something she’d long forgotten.

You barely breathe.

Just keep going, keep moving, keep tracing slow, deliberate circles, letting your fingers tangle through her hair like it’s something sacred.

Because it is.

Because she is.

Yujin, the girl who never stopped moving, who never let herself stop thinking, who planned every step of her life down to the last decimal—

She’s still now.

Still, and warm, and yours.

You rinse the shampoo carefully, letting the water do the work. Your fingers trail down, down, past her neck, past her shoulders, past the delicate slip of her collarbone.

She sighs.

Leans into you.

Lets herself fall.

And god—

You’ll catch her.

Every time.

You reach for the soap next, work it slowly over her back, over her arms, over every inch of her that you can touch.

She exhales, barely above a whisper.

‘Feels nice.’

You smile.

‘Good.’

You don’t rush.

Not when she’s like this. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her with something as simple as this.

Your hands trail lower, down her spine, over the dip of her waist. She shifts slightly, breath hitching just a little.

You pause.

Press a kiss to her shoulder.

She shivers, but not from the cold.

‘This okay?’ you murmur.

Her fingers curl around your wrist, stopping you.

For a moment, you think she’s going to pull away—

But instead—

She guides your hand lower.

Presses it against the soft warmth of her stomach.

Holds it there.

She exhales, slow and deep. ‘Don’t stop.’ You don’t. God, you don’t. You let your hands move slowly, carefully, exploring her the way you’ve always wanted to—like she’s something to learn, something to understand. And Yujin— Yujin lets you.

She lets you wash away the last three years, lets you trace something new into her skin, lets you relearn every inch of her with soap and steam and careful, careful hands.

She turns in your arms, pressing her forehead against yours. The water slips between you, catching at the spaces where you don’t quite meet. She’s smiling. Soft. Sweet. Yours. You cup her face. She leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. For a long, long moment, neither of you move. You just stay. Right here. Right now. Like this. Like always. Then— She opens her eyes. And she kisses you.

The water trails down her spine in slow, careful rivers, catching in the dips of her back, rolling down the curve of her waist. You follow its path with your fingers, mapping her skin like something sacred, something known.

She doesn’t move. Just lets you touch. Lets you care.

You start with her back, palms gliding down the slope of her shoulders, the delicate stretch of muscle beneath warm, damp skin. Your thumbs press gently into the knots there, kneading, coaxing, working out tension she probably doesn’t even realize she’s holding.

She exhales, long and slow, tipping her head forward. ‘Mmm,’ she murmurs, voice thick with something close to sleep. ‘That feels good.’ You smile. Press your thumbs in a little deeper. Let your hands drift lower, following the curve of her spine, tracing each ridge, each shadow, each memory pressed into muscle. You smooth circles over her lower back, fingers pressing into the dimples there, trailing down— She shivers. Your hands pause. ‘Ticklish?’ you murmur.

She huffs a quiet laugh, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. ‘A little.’ You grin, but you don’t tease. Not now. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her in the simplest, softest way. You reach for the soap, work it between your hands until it foams, and then— Then you really start. You start with her arms, sliding your palms over smooth, damp skin, tracing the delicate lines of muscle beneath. You lift her wrist, turning it over, running your fingers along the pulse point there. Her breath catches. You watch, mesmerized, as water beads along the inside of her forearm, trailing down to the soft bend of her elbow. ‘You’re so careful,’ she murmurs. You hum. ‘You deserve careful.’ Something flickers across her face. Something soft. She lets her fingers curl around yours. You smile. Run your hands over her stomach next, tracing the subtle rise and fall of each breath, the warmth of her, the realness of her. She shifts slightly, the movement pressing her closer, pressing skin to skin, pressing warmth to warmth. You exhale. Let your hands drift lower, over the curve of her waist, the dip of her hip, the length of her thigh. You take your time. Because she lets you. Because she wants you to. You kneel then, water rolling down your shoulders, down your back, pooling against your skin. You press your lips to her hip. She exhales, shaky, fingers threading into your hair. ‘You don’t have to—’ ‘I want to.’ You slide your hands over her legs, smoothing your palms down her thighs, over her calves, down to her ankles. She watches, breathing slow. You work the soap into her skin, rubbing warmth into her, sliding your thumbs up the backs of her knees, over the gentle curve of her calves. She sighs. Soft. Deep. Content. You let your fingers skim up again, over the dip of her waist, the gentle swell of her stomach, up— Up— To her chest. Her breath stutters. You pause. Look up. She’s already looking at you. Eyes dark, lips parted, cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. She lifts her hand, pressing it against yours. Guiding you. ‘Go on,’ she whispers. And you do. God, you do.

You cup her, trace the delicate slope of her, run your thumbs over warm, wet skin, over the soft peaks of her breasts, watching the way she reacts, the way she shivers under your touch.

Her lips part.

Her fingers tighten in your hair.

‘You’re—’ she starts, voice barely a breath, barely a sound. ‘You’re so—’

You stand.

Tilt her chin up.

Kiss her.

Not hungry. Not desperate.

Just deep.

Just certain.

Just her.

And when you pull back, pressing your forehead against hers, she exhales a laugh.

‘This is dangerous,’ she murmurs.

You smile. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

She lifts her arms, looping them around your neck, pulling you in, pressing against you, warm and wet and perfect.

And you—

You let her.

The steam rises. The water beads against her skin, gliding down slow, tracing paths over the soft slopes of her body, catching at the delicate points where warmth meets shadow, where light bends just so, where she is golden and bronze and endless.

You follow it.

With your eyes first, then with your hands.

Fingertips grazing along the soft valley of her stomach, skimming over her ribs, pressing gently into the places where she is most tender, most real. You watch the way the droplets gather at her collarbone, suspended for just a moment before slipping down, down, disappearing into the delicate dip between her breasts.

It feels unfair, almost, that something as simple as water gets to touch her like this before you do.

So you take its place.

Your lips find her collarbone first, brushing against the damp skin, warm and reverent. She exhales, tilting her head slightly, letting you have her like this, letting you take your time.

You do.

You always do.

Your mouth trails lower, following the path of the water, tracing its descent. You press a kiss against the gentle swell of her chest, right where her heart beats beneath, steady, certain, alive. You linger there, letting the moment stretch, letting yourself feel it, letting yourself remember what it’s like to love someone in a way that has nothing to do with time or distance or the years lost in between.

She breathes in, slow and deep, her fingers threading through your hair, nails scraping lightly against your scalp. Not pulling. Just holding.

And then you go lower.

The water clings to her, catching at the nipples, glistening like liquid gold against the dark-bronze warmth of her nipples. It drips, slow and deliberate, down the soft curve of her, over the places where she is most tender, most beautiful.

You chase it.

Your lips press to her sternum, then lower, following the water as it rolls over the swell of her breast, catching it before it can disappear.

She makes a sound then, a soft, breathy thing, like something breaking open inside her, like something unfolding, something giving way.

And god—

You love her like this.

Love the way she lets you worship her, the way she lets you press your mouth to her skin like it’s something sacred, like it’s something worth kneeling for.

You take your time.

You kiss along the curve of her, letting your tongue flick against her skin, letting yourself taste the warmth of her, the salt, the sweetness, the Yujin of her.

She trembles. Not much. Just a little. Just enough. You kiss the the peak of her breast—nipple, lips closing around the dark, glistening bronze of her, taking her between your lips like something meant to be savored. And she— She gasps. Soft. Sharp. Her fingers tighten in your hair, her back arching just slightly, just enough to press herself further into your mouth, to offer herself up like this, to let you take her in a way that feels like praise. The water slips between you, forgotten, but you don’t need it anymore. She is all the warmth you will ever need. And you— You are drowning. But you don’t mind. Not one bit.

You don’t know how long you stay like this—your mouth on her, your hands tracing slow worship into her skin, your tongue moving against the dark-bronze pebble of her like you’re tasting something sacred, something forbidden, something you never stopped craving.

She doesn’t rush you.

Just feels.

Just lets herself be felt.

Her fingers tremble against your scalp, gripping just enough to keep you grounded, to keep herself from falling apart entirely. The water sings against the tiles, drowning the rest of the world out, leaving just the sound of her soft gasps, her breath catching, the delicate whimper when your teeth graze over where she is most sensitive.

‘You’re—’ she tries, but the sentence breaks, dissolving into something else entirely.

You hum against her, half-smirking, half-dazed.

‘Say that again?’

She exhales sharply. Then, in a voice softer than the steam curling between you—

‘You’re ruining me.’

You smile against her skin.

‘Good.’

But then she’s moving.

Slow, steady, deliberate—sliding her hands down to your jaw, guiding you up, forcing your mouth away from her skin so she can see you again.

You lift your head, meeting her gaze, and god—

She looks like something devotional.

Like she’s burning and melting and breaking and remaking herself in the same moment.

And then she cups your face.

Runs her fingers down the sharp edge of your jaw, down your throat, down the planes of your chest like she’s trying to learn you all over again.

‘My turn,’ she whispers.

You exhale. ‘Yujin—’

But she’s already pressing her lips to your palm.

A slow, wet kiss against the skin there, warm and reverent.

You tense, watching the way she does it—how her mouth lingers, how her breath spills against your hand like she’s praying into it.

Then another.

And another.

Each kiss deliberate. Each one softer than the last.

Your fingers twitch.

Your heart stutters.

And Yujin—

Yujin just smiles.

Like she knows what she’s doing to you.

Like she knows the effect of her lips, her mouth, the heat of her pressing into you like this.

Then she goes lower.

Tracing fire against your wrist. Down to your forearm.

She’s taking her time.

Like she knows what’s coming. Like she wants you to feel every second of it before she even starts.

Softly, she lowers herself to the shower floor, folding her legs beneath her like someone praying—like someone preparing for something sacred. Water cascades over her, tracing the delicate angles of her face, slipping down her shoulders, clinging to her lashes. She doesn’t blink it away.

She looks up at you instead.

‘Just so you know,’ she murmurs, fingers curling around your thigh, pressing just hard enough to make you feel it, ‘I haven’t had this for three years.’

Your breath catches.

‘You poor thing.’

She hums, tilting her head slightly, eyes flickering with something playful, something edged with heat. ‘If only you called.’

Her grip tightens on your shaft—subtle, knowing, cruel.

Your pulse slams into your ribs.

‘Regretting everything as we speak,’ you manage, voice rough, because god—three years of waking up alone, three years of knowing what her body felt like against yours and still having to live without it, three years of not having this—

Yujin presses her lips to your hip, slow, warm, reverent.

‘Don’t,’ she whispers, breath ghosting over your skin. ‘From now on, let’s not waste a single breath.’

And that was that.

No more lost time. No more distance.

She presses another kiss, right below your navel. Cheating.

Your entire body tenses, twitches, a sharp current running through you.

She notices.

She smiles.

‘This is punishment,’ she murmurs.

Your fingers twitch against the tile. ‘For what?’

She looks up at you, lashes wet and mussed and dripping, lips parted just slightly—ruinous.

‘For almost forgetting me.’

Your jaw tightens. ‘That’s blasphemy.’

‘Is it?’

‘Every waking moment, every—’

Her hand slides along your wet shaft. Tight. Destitution incarnate.

You stumble against the back wall.

She grins, a little smug, a little knowing, a little dangerous.

‘I don’t want excuses,’ she says softly.

And then—

Then she presses another kiss, open-mouthed, slow, dangerous, right where on the tip of your cock—collecting whatever desperation you had bottled up.

You let out a slow, shaky breath.

She hums against you. Then, another kiss.

‘This,’ she says, hands curling against your hips, ‘is mine.’

And god, you believe her.

You always have.

Her mouth forms a tight ring right on your tip. She’s sucking everything out of you. Caring not for a single second how much this ruins you, how your knees intend to buckle.  

The cool wall slides against your back, and her mouth gentles now—less tight, slower, deliberate. Her lips part, wet and swollen, spit-strung as they glide over the flushed head of you. A slick sound escapes her, obscene and tender. You feel every ridge of her tongue, every warm drag, the way her saliva pools and drips down the length of you. She moans softly, and the vibration travels straight to your gut.

‘Easy,’ you rasp, fingers threading into her hair—not to push, but to feel. To guide her rhythm, your thumb brushing the shell of her ear. ‘Just like that…’

She obeys, but not meekly. Her eyes flick up, dark and gleaming through her lashes, her lips a glistening ring around you. The head glistens under the shower’s spray, spit-slick and ruddy, and when she pulls back just to breathe, a thin strand of saliva stretches between her bottom lip and your tip. She watches you watch it snap.

‘Yujin—’

‘Shhh.’ Her breath ghosts over the wetness she’s made, cooling the heat. ‘Let me.’

Her tongue swipes the slit, slow, too slow, and your hips jerk. She laughs—a soft, husky thing—and catches the bead of precum with her thumb. Holds your gaze as she sucks it clean.

‘All those years,’ she murmurs, nuzzling the inside of your thigh. Her voice is a frayed ribbon. ‘You let this ache. Let it go untouched. Why?’

You tighten your grip in her hair, not harsh, but present. ‘You know why.’

She hums, lips pressing to the vein throbbing beneath the skin. ‘Tell me anyway.’

‘Because it was yours.’ The admission tears free, raw. ‘Even when you weren’t.’

Her breath hitches. For a heartbeat, her composure cracks—lips parting, eyes glassy. Then she surges forward, taking you deep, deep, until your tip brushes the back of her throat. Her nose presses into your pelvis, her cheeks hollowed, and the wetness is overwhelming. Spit spills down her chin, drips onto the shower floor. You watch, wrecked, as she works you with a reverence that borders on worship.

‘God—Yujin—’

She pulls off with a gasp, lips swollen and slick. ‘Look at me.’

You do. Her face is flushed, water clinging to her lashes, hair plastered to her neck. Ruin has never looked so soft.

‘Never again,’ she whispers, palm cradling your jaw. ‘You don’t starve yourself. Not of this. Not of me.’

You nod, breathless, and she smiles—a fragile, aching thing—before bending again. Her mouth is softer now, languid, savoring. Every suck, every lick, pours honey into your veins. You let her take you apart, let her rebuild you, until the world narrows to her lips, her hands, the spit-slick sounds of her devotion.

The climax coils, inevitable—a wildfire in your spine, a tremor in your thighs. You feel it there, the precipice, and your hands fly to her shoulders, gripping hard. ‘Yujin—wait—’

She resists at first, brows furrowed, lips sealed tight around you. But you tug her back gently, your cock slipping from her mouth with a wet pop, her lips swollen, glistening. Her confusion flickers only for a heartbeat before you fist your cock, rough and hurried, and the first hot stripe of release paints her cheek.

She gasps, eyes fluttering shut as the next pulse hits her chin, her throat, the tip catching her collarbone. Thick, pearly streaks splatter across her skin—her eyelids, the bridge of her nose, the bow of her top lip. A ragged moan tears from you as you empty yourself onto her, the mess pooling in the hollow of her throat, dripping down her sternum.

For a moment, she’s perfectly still, breath held, face tilted up as if in prayer. Then her tongue darts out, just once, catching the spill on her lip—not to taste, but to feel, to savor the proof. Her eyes open slowly, lashes sticky, gaze molten.

For a second, she just blinks.

One eye.

The other one is… well.

You watch her process it in real time.

Her lips part slightly, her breath still uneven, chest rising and falling as she takes in exactly what’s happened. Your release is everywhere—everywhere—glossing her cheekbones, slipping down the slope of her throat, pooling in the dip of her collarbone like some kind of offering.

She tilts her head. Blinks again.

‘Oh.’

Then she laughs.

A breathy, disbelieving sound, half-amused, half-are-you-kidding-me?

You’re still pressed against the shower wall, still trying to function, your brain short-circuiting between the mess you’ve made of her and the fact that she’s actually—laughing.

‘You—’ she starts, touching her cheek, then stopping, fingers hesitating before they smear through the mess, ‘—you got it in my hair.’

She looks up at you then, eyes bright, glistening—partly from you, partly from water, partly from the sheer absurdity of this situation.

You swallow, still breathless. ‘Uh.’

She blinks. A slow, lazy flutter of lashes.

Then her mouth quirks.

‘You should’ve warned me, you beast.’

You can’t help it—you laugh, too, scrubbing a hand down your face. ‘I tried. You didn’t stop—’

‘I was busy,’ she huffs, wiping at her cheek again. ‘And now I’m busy. Because look at me.’

You are.

You really, really are.

‘I mean—’ you gesture vaguely to her face, her throat, the trail of evidence marking everywhere she’s been—‘I think it’s a good look.’

She glares.

‘No, seriously. We could brand this. “Dewy Glow” or something. Sell it in high-end skincare stores. “Celebrity Secret.”’

She snorts, shoving at your thigh. ‘You absolute menace.’

And then—

‘Oh, wait.’

She freezes.

Her smile vanishes.

Her expression shifts into something far more serious.

‘Oh no.’

You blink. ‘What?’

She doesn’t say anything.

Just slowly, slowly, slowly raises a hand to her right eye.

You know what’s coming before she even speaks.

‘Oh my god, I can’t see.’

You wheeze. Actually wheeze.

She jabs a finger into your thigh. ‘Don’t—don’t laugh. This is serious. This is—I might never recover—’

‘Yujin.’ You’re still dying, but you reach for her anyway, cupping her face with both hands, thumbs swiping over her cheeks, carefully wiping away what you can. ‘Baby, blink—’

‘I am blinking.’ She’s being so dramatic about it, blinking furiously, tilting her face up to the water like it might cleanse her soul. ‘Oh my god. Oh my god.’

‘Okay, okay, come here—’

You guide her fully under the stream, hands in her hair, rubbing circles at her temples as she half-laughs, half-groans against your chest.

‘Three years, and this is how it goes?’

‘I mean,’ you murmur, fingers tracing down her jaw, ‘technically, this is a good thing. This means I really missed you.’

She gasps, smacking your chest. ‘That is not how this works.’

‘No, no, it is. You should be flattered.’

‘I am blinded.’

‘Listen, some people pay a lot of money for facials like this.’

‘Oh my god, shut up—’

She’s laughing now, still rubbing at her eye, still squinting slightly, but you tilt her face up, press your lips to her forehead, her nose, the water-warm curve of her cheek.

‘Here,’ you murmur, ‘let me see.’

She lets you, tilting her chin up, letting you wipe at her lashes, the bridge of her nose, the soft hollow under her eye. Your fingers are gentle, your touch slow, careful, as you rinse the last of it away.

Her hands find your ribs, gripping lightly, grounding herself.

‘I’m keeping score, you know,’ she murmurs, voice softer now.

You kiss her temple. ‘Yeah?’

She hums. ‘You owe me for this.’

You grin, pressing a kiss to her cheek. ‘I owe you?’

‘Mhm.’ Another soft blink, this one slower, more considering. ‘Big time.’

You exhale, pressing your forehead to hers. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’

She pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes warm, searching.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

A beat.

Then she grins, pressing a quick, mischievous kiss to your lips.

‘Good.’

And then—

‘Now help me get this out of my hair, you absolute monster.’

You laugh, tilting her back under the water, already reaching for the shampoo.

You barely make it out of the shower before Yujin is already reaching for a towel, scrubbing at her hair like she’s trying to erase all evidence of your existence.

You watch her, arms crossed, towel slung lazily over your shoulder. ‘You know, I could help with that.’

She gives you a look. A very specific you-are-the-reason-I’m-in-this-mess look.

‘You’ve helped enough,’ she mutters, aggressively drying her face.

You grin. ‘Want me to dry your back?’

‘No.’

‘Sure?’

‘I don’t trust you.’

You press a hand to your chest, mock-wounded. ‘I am offended by this blatant accusation.’

‘You are plotting something. I know that face.’

‘I literally only have one face, Yujin.’

‘Yeah. And I know it.’

She sighs, shoving her towel at you. ‘Fine. You want to be useful? Dry my hair. But no funny business.’

‘Define funny business.’

She glares.

You chuckle, grabbing another towel, stepping behind her. She exhales as you gently towel-dry her hair, rubbing slow, deliberate circles into her scalp.

Her head tilts slightly, unconsciously leaning into your touch.

You knew she’d enjoy this.

She hums, closing her eyes. ‘Okay. Maybe you can be trusted.’

‘Told you.’ You press a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘I am a professional.’

‘A professional nuisance.’

‘A professional lover.’

She snorts. ‘Oh my god, shut up.’

You grin, setting the towel aside, reaching for the hairdryer.

She shifts slightly in her seat. ‘Wait—’

‘Hm?’

She peeks up at you, tilting her head back, cheeks warm. ‘...I like it when you do it slow. With your hands.’

You pause.

Look down at her.

Oh.

Oh.

You set the hairdryer aside. ‘You should’ve said so earlier, baby.’

She exhales, smiling, closing her eyes again as your fingers slip into her hair, raking through the damp strands, slow and careful.

This is— This is intimacy in its simplest form. You, standing behind her, fingers combing through her hair, working through knots with gentle patience. Her, sitting still, trusting you, letting herself be taken care of. ‘You’re soft,’ you murmur, pressing another kiss to her temple. ‘Mm.’ Her shoulders relax completely. ‘Just don’t mess up my parting.’ You chuckle. ‘I’ll do my best.’ It takes a while—because you like taking your time with her—but eventually, her hair is dry, loose waves tumbling down her back. She stretches, arms overhead, and that’s when you realize— She’s still wearing your shirt. The one she stole post-shower, hanging off her like it was made for this moment.

You stare. Your thoughts are not wholesome. She catches you looking. Her lips curve. ‘You’re plotting something again,’ she says, amused. ‘Maybe.’ ‘You need to control yourself—’ ‘Nope.’ She laughs, batting you away when you attempt to grab her. ‘No. No, sir,’ she warns, scooting to the bed. ‘You said you’d be good.’ ‘Did I?’ ‘Yes. You did. You explicitly said you’d behave.’ ‘And you believed me?’ She pauses. Then groans, rubbing her face. ‘God, I’m an idiot.’ You grin. And then you pounce.

She yelps, barely managing to roll away before you trap her under you, laughing as she dodges your grabby hands.

‘No,’ she gasps between laughs, ‘we are doing the normal nighttime routine first!’ ‘This is the routine.’ ‘No it is not!’ You chase her across the bed. She giggles, swats at you, then suddenly—miraculously—manages to flip you over, straddling you with a triumphant grin. ‘HAH.’ She plants her hands on your chest. ‘Got you.’ You blink up at her. Pause. Then smirk. ‘Yujin,’ you murmur, voice low. ‘Baby.’ Her smile falters. ‘…What.’

You cup her waist, slowly sliding your hands up, over the fabric of your shirt, over the nothing she’s wearing underneath.

She realizes. Her eyes widen. ‘Wait—’ And then you flip her back over. She gasps. ‘Noooooo—’ You laugh, pinning her down, watching as she squirms, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with warmth and amusement. This. This is the routine. Laughter. Teasing. The way you move around each other like gravity has always existed between you. She exhales, chest rising and falling beneath you, fingers curling around your wrists. Her voice, when she speaks, is softer. ‘You win,’ she murmurs. You press your forehead to hers. ‘I always do.’ She sighs dramatically. ‘Ugh. Fine. Manhandle me, then.’ She’s still beneath you, chest rising and falling, fingers curled loosely around your wrists where you’ve pinned them. Her breath is quick, her pulse erratic, and you know it’s not just because of the weight of you pressing her into the mattress—it’s everything. The warmth between you, the years leading to this, the understanding that what’s about to happen isn’t just want, isn’t just release—it’s reclamation.

She swallows, lips parting slightly, pupils wide and dark in the low light. The dark strands of her hair are fanned across the pillow, tangled from your hands, a mess you’d memorize blindfolded. There’s a flush blooming across her chest, creeping up the column of her throat, a heat that you feel mirrored in yourself.

You watch her, watch the way she shifts slightly beneath you, pressing up just enough to remind you she’s waiting, waiting, waiting. You could draw this out forever. But that’s cruelty. Or maybe, maybe, that’s worship.

You press your lips to the tip of her nose, then her cheek, then down, trailing a path over her jaw, her throat, the faint dip between her collarbones. You can feel the hum of her laughter before she even releases it, a small breath of amusement, her fingers twitching against your hold'

‘You’re teasing,’ she murmurs, voice wrecked already. ‘No,’ you answer, dragging your mouth lower, tasting the salt of her skin. ‘I’m remembering.���

Because you are. You’re remembering the way her body curls into yours when she’s overwhelmed. You’re remembering the tiny, trembling exhales she makes when your hands slide over the slopes of her ribs. You’re remembering that she loves when you take your time, that she loves to be adored, that she wants to feel every inch of you.

And she is so easy to adore.

You shift lower, your hands tracing slow, lazy patterns down her sides, feeling the way her muscles twitch beneath your touch. The shape of her—long lines, soft curves, skin warm and impossibly smooth beneath your lips.

Your name escapes her in a breath, a barely-there sound that settles somewhere behind your ribs, inside your chest, like it belongs there.

You kiss lower. Down, down. Your fingers slip between her thighs, ghosting over her bare glistening pussy, and her breath stutters, a sharp intake that punches straight through your gut. ‘Look at you,’ you murmur, dragging your knuckles up the inside of her goosebump-ridden thigh. ‘Fidgeting.’ She doesn’t answer. Just glares, lashes damp, lips parted, so achingly beautiful you feel winded.

‘Is that frustration?’ you tease, dragging your mouth back up, scraping your teeth over her hip bone. ‘It’s—’ She exhales, trying for control. Fails. ‘It’s you taking too long.’ You hum. ‘I thought you liked it slow.’ ‘I do,’ she grits out. ‘But I also like it when you—’

Her voice catches as your fingers press a little harder into her. A single stroke, just enough to make her body jolt, enough to make her curse under her breath, enough to feel the sticky wetness of her—inside.

Then you do it again. And again. Until her hips are moving against your touch, until her nails bite into your shoulders, until her breath is a series of broken, unsteady exhalations, ‘Yes, yes, oh fuck~’

You kiss her then. Hard. Deep. Drinking in every shiver, every sound, every breathless plea she won’t voice but you understand anyway.

And then— Then, finally— Her thighs part wider, welcoming you; knees hooking around your hips, heels digging into the small of your back. You press your shaft along her golden-soft navel, hard enough to get her whimpering under the heat of your shaft. You drag slowly along her soft—yet firm—navel, coursing the map lower and lower—until the nub responsible for her heat—all swollen and beautiful and pink—meets your tip. She lets out a sudden whimper; She glares, and you press a kiss on her temple once again—sorry baby, sorry. At the end of the map, you feel the slick heat of her cunt against the head of your cock, her entrance fluttering, pulsing, as you grind around the clit in slow, torturous circles. Precum smears her folds, mingling with her arousal, the glide obscenely wet. ‘Fuck,’ she hisses, nails raking down your spine. ‘Stop—stop toying—’ You catch her wrist, pinning it above her head again. ‘No.’ Your other hand grips the base of your cock, guiding it through her slit, the swollen head catching on her clit with every pass. She jerks, a broken moan tearing free, her hips bucking—but you hold firm, denying her friction. ‘You wanted slow. This is slow.’ Her cunt weeps, glistening, her inner lips swollen and flushed. You watch, transfixed, as your cockhead nudges her entrance, spreading her open incrementally. A single inch sinks in, the velvety grip of her walls clenching reflexively, and you groan through gritted teeth. ‘Christ’ She whimpers, her clit throbbing against your shaft as you retreat, dragging your tip through her folds again. ‘Please—’ Her voice cracks, tears spilling down her temples. ‘Just—fuck me—’ You lean down, lips grazing hers. ‘Where?’ She glares, chest heaving. ‘You know—’ ‘Say it.’ ‘Inside—’ ‘Inside what?’ You press forward, another inch sheathed, the stretch burning sweet. ‘Use your words, Yujin.’ Her thighs tremble. ‘My—my cunt.’ ‘Good girl.’ You sink deeper, the thick ridge of your cockhead massaging her front wall, that spongy patch of nerves that makes her sob. Her cervix yields, soft and pliant, as you bottom out, hips flush against hers. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick muscle, and you swear, forehead dropping to her shoulder. ‘You’re gonna milk me dry—’ ‘Move,’ she demands, her ankles locking behind your back. ‘Move or I’ll—’ ‘You’ll what?’ You pull out almost completely, leaving just the tip seated, her clit rubbing against your shaft. ‘Beg?’ She keens, back arching, breasts pressed to your chest. ‘Yes—yes, god, please—’ You snap your hips forward, sheathing yourself in one brutal thrust. Her scream is muffled by your palm as you clamp it over her mouth, your other hand sliding between you to circle her clit. ‘Quiet,’ you growl, grinding deep. ‘You’ll take it. All of it.’ Her cunt ripples around you, fluttering in erratic pulses, her clit swollen and pebbled beneath your thumb. You fuck her with shallow, punishing rolls of your hips, each stroke dragging your cockhead over that sweet spot, her thighs shaking, her breath coming in ragged, choked gasps. ‘Look at me,’ you snarl, removing your hand from her mouth. She obeys, eyes glassy, lips bitten raw. ‘Whose cunt is this?’ ‘Yours—’ ‘And whose cock?’ ‘Mine—’ You slam into her, hilt-deep, your balls slapping her ass. ‘Louder—’ ‘MINE—’

The word cracks through the room, ragged and raw, and you reward it by slamming into her hilt-deep, your pelvis grinding against her clit as you still inside her. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick heat, and you hiss through your teeth, your grip bruising on her hips. ‘Again,’ you demand, pulling out until only the swollen head of your cock remains lodged in her entrance. Her inner lips cling to you, reluctant to let go. She whines, back arching off the bed. ‘Yours—your cunt, your everything—’ You thrust back in, slow, savoring the way her walls ripple to accommodate you. ‘And what do you want?’ 'You,’ she gasps, nails carving half-moons into your shoulders. ‘Inside me—claiming me—’ 'How?' You drag your cockhead over that spongy patch of nerves again, deliberate, watching her thighs quake. 'Cum,' she begs, tears streaking her temples. 'Fill me—mark me—' You still, your hand sliding up to grip her throat—not restricting air, just owning. 'Ask nicely.' Her breath hitches. 'Please—please, I need it—need you to paint my insides white, need to feel it—' A dark thrill curls in your gut. You lean down, lips brushing hers. 'Since you asked so sweetly.' You start a brutal, precise rhythm—deep, grinding thrusts that punch the air from her lungs. Each snap of your hips drags her clit against the base of your cock, each retreat leaves her clenching around nothing. Her cunt weeps, arousal slicking your shaft, the obscene slap of skin on skin echoing off the walls. 'Look at me,' you snarl, tightening your grip on her throat. Her eyes fly open, hazy but obedient. 'You take me so well,' you murmur, your free hand sliding between you to circle her throbbing clit. 'This greedy cunt—my greedy cunt—sucking me in like you were made for it.'

She sobs, her walls fluttering. 'Yours—always yours—'

'Prove it.' You pin her wrists above her head with one hand, your other still working her clit. 'Come. Now.'

Her orgasm rips through her violently—back arched, cunt spasming, a scream tearing from her throat as she soaks your cock. You ride it out, fucking her through the pulses, your thrusts turning jagged, erratic.

'Mine,' you growl, feeling your balls tighten. 'Say it—say it—'

'Yours—god, yours—'

You slam into her one last time, hilt-deep, and hold. Your release surges—thick, hot ropes of cum flooding her cervix, painting her walls in stripes of white. She whimpers, oversensitive but greedy, her cunt milking every drop as you grind your hips in slow, possessive circles.

'Take it,' you grit out, watching her stomach quiver with the force of your spend. 'All of it.'

She nods, dazed, her thighs trembling around your waist. You collapse atop her, still buried inside, your lips finding the sweat-damp hollow of her throat.

—

Yujin’s lashes flutter against your chest, and there’s a moment where she seems to wrestle with something—embarrassment, vulnerability—but it dissolves when she feels your fingers tracing gentle circles against her back. She shifts, propping herself up just enough to look at you, her eyes dark and soft and entirely too honest.

‘You know,’ she whispers, voice almost shy, ‘I used to dream about this. You and me, like this. Just… here.’

‘Here?’ You brush a damp strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. ‘In bed, sweaty and gross?’

A soft laugh escapes her, warm and tender. ‘Yeah. Exactly this.’ Her fingertips graze your jaw, light as the touch of a memory. ‘I’d think about waking up to you, about how it’d feel to fall asleep in your arms. It’s stupid, I know—’

‘Not stupid,’ you murmur, cutting her off with a kiss—soft, lingering, like you’re trying to pour every unspoken word into it. ‘Never stupid.’

Her gaze softens even further, and she buries her face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent like it’s something she needs to breathe. You feel her lips press against your pulse, a delicate kiss that sends warmth flooding through you.

‘I don’t want to let you go,’ she confesses, voice muffled. ‘Not tonight. Not ever.’

‘Then don’t.’ You trail your fingers up and down her spine, feeling the subtle curve of her back beneath your touch. ‘Hold on to me. I’m not going anywhere.’

She shifts, looping her arms around your neck, pressing her body flush against yours. The contact is warm, grounding, and you let yourself sink into it, let yourself feel the weight of her, the steady thrum of her heartbeat against your chest.

‘You’re too good at this,’ she mumbles, the faintest hint of a pout in her voice. ‘Making me feel safe. Like I belong here.’

You tighten your hold on her, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘You do belong here. With me. Always.’

Her breath shudders, and you feel her fingers clutch at your shoulders, like she’s afraid you might slip away. You press another kiss to her forehead, then her temple, then her cheek, each touch softer than the last.

‘Yujin,’ you whisper, and she looks up at you, eyes wide and glistening. ‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’

She smiles—a real, unguarded smile—and you feel the weight of it settle in your chest. She lifts herself up just enough to press a kiss to your lips, lingering, tender, unhurried. It’s a kiss that feels like a promise, like something that doesn’t need words to be understood.

When she pulls back, her face is flushed, her expression open and raw. ‘I love you,’ she says softly, the words so simple, so devastatingly sincere.

You cup her face, thumb brushing over her cheek. ‘I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.’

She settles against you, fitting herself into the curve of your body, her head resting against your chest. You stroke her hair, feeling the tension melt from her frame as she presses one last kiss to your heart.

The room is warm and heavy with the scent of you both, with the quiet weight of something real and unbreakable. You feel her breathing slow, her body growing heavy with sleep, and you let your own eyes drift shut, content to let the world narrow to the steady rise and fall of her breath.

And then—nothing. Just the two of you tangled together, warmth and closeness and the certainty that this, right here, is home.

—

a/n: Experimenting yet again. Hopefully the last sex scene wasn't too mortifying. But I really enjoyed writing this—Yujin's personality meshes really well with with the dialogue I was aiming to do (hopefully I succeeded). This was a half-finished draft that I managed to finish (through merging other drafts, other idols, et cetera et cetera), and now I don't have a single draft remaining; sooo... I don't know how this fares for the next fic (hopefully not too long..... haha..heh..he).

a/n 2: Much love for all the support: they never go unnoticed!!! <3333333

[starastrologyy]

Mercury in Partner’s Houses in Synastry

Please do not post anything that I write on any other social media platform!🤍 My chart readings are open again for those interested! The link is in my bio x

Mercury in partner’s 1st house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 1st house, you are likely to feel strongly drawn to the manner in which they think, communicate, and process information. A strong mental & intellectual connection is often indicated by this overlay. The pair just seem to “get” each other. The Mercury person can have a profound impact on how the house person chooses to express themselves. The pair may also spend a lot of time talking about their personal projects, physical appearances, and identities. There’s a natural resonance and understanding between the two.

Mercury in partner’s 2nd house

When someone’s Mercury falls into another persons 2nd house, the communication between the pair can be strongly focused on matters involving their values, personal resources, finances, security, and self-worth. The Mercury person has the potential to help the house person come up with various ways to approach their finances and values. If the mercury individual’s mercury adversely aspects the house person’s planets, the pair may even disagree about finances, values, and material resources. Nevertheless, this is a good overlay to have when it comes to acquiring material resources & it works well business partnerships.

Mercury in partner’s 3rd house

This is a wonderful overlay to have, as mercury is at home in the 3rd house. The conversations between the pair are likely to be lively, thought-provoking, & intellectually stimulating. There is also likely to be a playful banter between the two. The pair can also spend time communicating about siblings, early education, local travel, and matters related to their everyday lives/immediate environment. The Mercury person can encourage the house person to express themselves more openly. They may also inspire the house person to explore new ways of thinking and communicating.

Mercury in partner’s 4th house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 4th house, they stimulate your desire to want to talk about matters related to your home, family, upbringing, living situation, and emotional foundations. This is an overlay you often see in the synastry charts of long term partners or friends. The conversations are likely to be deep, meaningful, and vulnerable. The house person is likely to become more reflective & nostalgic in the mercury person’s presence. The mercury person may even get the house person to open up about their past, feelings, and repressed traumas (vice versa).

Mercury in partner’s 5th house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 5th house, they likely stimulate your desire to want to talk about matters related to romance, creativity, children, hobbies, and your self-expression. Your conversations are likely to be fun, entertaining, playful, and light-hearted. The Mercury person may even encourage you to express your creativity & embrace your playful side. They may also motivate you to pursue your hobbies, take creative risks, & ‘let loose’.

Mercury in partner’s 6th house

Mercury is at home in the 6th house. So, when someone’s Mercury falls into your 6th house it can create a strong focus on communication that is related to daily routines, service, and efficiency, You may also spend a lot of time talking about health, wellness, productivity, pets, co-workers, and your day to day lives. The Mercury person can give you insight into the the different ways in which you can improve your health, productivity, and general well-being. Ultimately, Mercury in the 6th house in synastry, fosters a relationship where communication revolves around improving daily routines, problem-solving, and addressing practical matters.

Mercury in partner’s 7th house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 7th house, you are likely to want to talk to them about partnerships, collaboration, and contractual agreements. Mercury, in the 7th house in synastry can be beneficial when it comes to business partnerships & collaborative projects. In a romantic relationship, the house person may feel as if the mercury person communicates in a manner that aligns with how they would want their ideal partner to communicate. Moreover, the Mercury person’s communication style can make the house person feel understood & supported.

Mercury in partner’s 8th house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 8th house, they are likely to stimulate your desire to talk about deep & intimate topics. The two of you may spend time talking about matters related to psychology, transformation, shared resources, intimacy, healing, and emotional vulnerability. Furthermore, the Mercury person may even encourage you to get your financial affairs in order or they may help you explore your deeper emotional layers. Ultimately, the communication between you can be intense, transformative, or incredibly healing. Both of you have the potential to help each other confront & express your vulnerabilities & psychological wounds.

Mercury in partner’s 9th house

The 9th house is one of the most underrated houses in synastry. When someone’s Mercury falls into your 9th house, they have the potential to help you expand your beliefs & worldviews. This is an exceptionally expansive overlay, as the Mercury person can inspire you to travel or to pursue higher education. In some instances this overlay can indicate that you may eventually travel together. Ultimately, a 9th house synastry overlay indicates a relationship that encourages growth, expansion, and a desire to learn/explore together.

Mercury in partner’s 10th house

This is a wonderful overlay to have in a business partnership. However, in a romantic context, this overlay can indicate that the partners are likely to spend a lot of time talking about their careers, public image, and worldly ambitions. The pair can motivate and encourage each other to pursue their goals. Moreover, the Mercury person can encourage the house person to communicate more effectively about their ambitions & professional goals. Both partners in this union are likely to support one another’s vocational pursuits & professional growth.

Mercury in partner’s 11th house

Mercury in the 11th house in synastry is a wonderful placement to have as it suggests that the pair may spend time talking about their aspirations, shared goals, dreams, social causes, friendships, and networks. The two may have been connected by mutual friends, a community project, or shared interests. The Mercury person can encourage the house person to pursue humanitarian efforts or to expand their network. There is often a feeling of mutual acceptance between the two, as mercury in the 11th house fosters a relationship where both partners are likely to feel understood & values for their individuality.

Mercury in partner’s 12th house

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 12th house (vise versa) a highly spiritual & intuitive connection is often indicated. You may spend time talking about matters involving spirituality, mental health, and the esoteric. The Mercury person may have the unique ability to vocalize the house person’s thoughts and feelings. They may also encourage the house person to open up and express their subconscious desires & hidden emotions. Conversations between the pair are likely to be very deep and introspective. The pair may also travel together to “faraway lands” or it may just be that the mercury person encourages the house person to travel. Alternatively, it could just mean that both people are apt to want to explore their inner worlds as a result of this Union.

[labelleizzy]

I focus in really tight on my Circle Of Control and my Circle Of Influence. I do what I can where I am, and I try to do something useful or kind every day. I swear at the news.

And lately, I remember that I am a student of history, and that there are many MANY cases throughout history, American history AND world history, where regular people just buckled down and survived, helped and loved their friends, families, and extended community.

We're not special. And it does me nor anyone any good to worry about what might be done, when we don't KNOW yet.

And block the despairing "we might as well give up now" blogs. All they do is deal psychic damage, and if it acts enough like an enemy, I treat it like an enemy.

Be one of Mister Rogers helpers. Actions engender hope, hope allows further actions. Take care of yourself too. Nothing more subversive than cozy, sassy self care when an enemy wants you to curl up like a pillbug.

anybody who figures out how to acknowledge & be mindful of our negative outlook for the future while also being sane enough to live their lives and obtain happiness should give me a call. i can't figure out how to do both of these things at once it's always gotta be one or the other and switching between the two every few weeks is not fun

[astroeleanor]

How To Attract REAL Love Based on Your Venus Sign & 7H Sign

Understanding your Venus sign and the sign ruling your 7th house in astrology can be a powerful tool for attracting real, lasting love. Venus represents your values in relationships, how you express affection, and what you find beautiful and desirable. Meanwhile, the 7th house governs partnerships, commitment, and the qualities you seek in a significant other.

ARIES VENUS/7TH HOUSE

You’re a natural initiator, don’t wait for others to come to you. Take the lead in your love life. Initiate conversations & displays of affection. Ask them out, message them first. Be direct about what you want. When you take the initiative, love naturally follows.

Pursue activities that excite you and make you feel alive. Tap into that Aries fire, channel your intensity in a way that’s productive.

Practice clear communication in all your relationships. If you’re interested in someone, be straightforward about it. Your directness is refreshing, and it lets others know exactly where they stand with you.

Spend time cultivating your sense of independence. Focus on building your own life—whether it’s through your career, hobbies, or personal growth. When you’re comfortable standing on your own, you’ll attract your person.

Work on slowing down and enjoying the process of getting to know someone. Focus on building a strong foundation before jumping into something serious. STOP MOVING TOO FAST and jumping headfirst into shit.

Let go of any need to impress or conform to societal expectations in dating. When you show up as your authentic self, you’ll attract someone who values you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

Surround yourself with energetic, motivated people by joining groups, clubs, or activities that inspire you. Keep your social circle exciting.

Don’t shy away from being assertive or standing up for yourself, but also practice resolving conflicts in a way that builds understanding. You enjoy the passion that comes with standing your ground and challenging others. However, be mindful of how you approach conflict, making sure that it’s productive and not destructive.

TAURUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE

• Show up everyday for yourself. Focus on building a steady life, and someone who values stability will come to share it with you. Invest in your home, career, friendships, and personal well-being.

• Remember the little things about your love interest. Be consistent, apply pressure. Be upfront about your values and expectations.

• Create a peaceful, secure environment where you feel grounded.

• Do not rush into relationships. Love for you grows slowly, so patience will be your greatest asset. Focus on building strong, high-quality, meaningful connections.

• Engage in activities that connect you to your senses. Cooking a delicious meal, practice yoga, be in the present moment, wrap yourself in cozy blankets, take a warm bath, adorn yourself with jewelry, enjoy a spa day. Give yourself time to appreciate beauty, touch, pleasure in all forms.

• Reflect on your values and what you truly want in a relationship. Don’t settle for anything less than what feels aligned with your sense of security and stability.

• Find beauty in simplicity. What matters most are the small, meaningful moments of connection–a quiet evening at home, a walk in nature, or a home-cooked meal or a cup of tea. Spend time appreciating the small things that bring you joy.

• To attract love, be clear about your desire for security, whether it’s financial stability or emotional consistency. The right partner will appreciate your need for a stable foundation and will be willing to build that with you.

• Work on enjoying the present moment, slow down to smell the flowers. Practice mindfulness in your daily life. Take it slow and savor the present moment. Cultivate that calm and steady energy that characterizes your Venus placement.

GEMINI VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Talk your way into people’s hearts. Let your intellect and curiosity shine. Be your authentic, witty self. Engage in deep conversations, ask about your love interes’s ideas, show them the side of you that is constantly learning and growing.

Give compliments, use words of affirmations. Ask thoughtful questions. Be an active listener. Create a strong foundation for effective communication with the people in your life.

Lead with curiosity, lean into your curious and open-minded nature. Ask questions, learn new things, especially about the people that you’re attracted to. Show genuine interest in their ideas, thoughts, experiences and perspectives.

Keep things light and fun. The more playful the better. Engage in witty banter, fun adventures, allow yourself to have fun and not take dating too seriously.

To attract love, focus on cultivating intellectual connections. Engage with people who stimulate your mind, challenge your perspectives, and introduce you to new concepts.

You thrive on variety and change. Spice things up. Be open to meeting different types of people, exploring new places, trying new things, being flexible. The more variety you introduce in your life, the better.

Focus on cultivating your hobbies and interests. Real love shows up when you keep your mind engaged. Expose yourself to different cultures, viewpoints, and experiences.

Lean into your flirty side! Be playful, lighthearted.

Be honest about your need for freedom, both with yourself and potential partners. You need space to explore your interest and meet new people, so let that be known.

CANCER VENUS/7TH HOUSE

• Make yourself feel safe and cared for. When you create emotional safety within, you’ll attract someone who respects that space. Treat yourself with the same love you wish to give others.

• Express love through nurturing gestures, by being there for your partner when they need someone to talk to or by cooking for them.

• Practice being emotionally open, even in small ways. Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or write down your emotions in a journal. By getting comfortable with vulnerability in safe spaces, you’ll be more prepared to open up when the right relationship comes along.

• Make your home an inviting space where you can feel comfortable and safe. Add personal touches to make it feel warm and cozy. Your home is an extension of your heart, make it feel like a sanctuary. This way you’ll naturally attract someone who appreciates that sense of emotional depth & warmth.

• Honor your need for emotional security by creating emotional stability within yourself. Practice self-soothing techniques, engage in therapy to process past hurts, focus on becoming emotionally grounded.

• Spend time reconnecting with family members or people who make you feel at home. Share stories, engage in family traditions, or reflect on who/what gives you a sense of belonging. This will help you feel more grounded and open to attracting love that’s equally deep and meaningful.

• Reflect on what you truly need in a partner, and don’t settle for anything less. Stay open to connections that feel deep and authentic, even if they don’t happen overnight. Real love takes time to develop.

LEO VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Let your inner child out to play. Be that fun, carefree person to date, show your partner how to enjoy life.

Work on becoming secure in who you are, that’s how you’ll draw others toward you.

Show up as your authentic self. Don’t dim your own light. Express your desires, opinions, ideas, perspectives and passions.

Surprise your person with small acts of kindness and affection (compliments, spontaneous dates, a heartfelt message or letter). Lean into your generosity and giving nature.

Love yourself LOUDLY. If your person isn’t here yet, take yourself out on dates, buy yourself flowers, wine and dine your damn SELF!

Be loyal to yourself. Never, ever, disrespect yourself or stay in situations where you’re not cherished. Stay away from people who try to dim your own light.

Before committing, make sure that your partner is as loyal and invested as you are. Build trust by taking your time, don’t give your heart away too quickly.

Be open about your passions, your talents, your hobbies and actively cultivate them.

Celebrate your own achievements, step into your confidence, don’t shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable.

VIRGO VENUS/7tH HOUSE

In love, don’t shy away from offering a helping hand or some thoughtful advice, you attract people by being there when they need you most.

Start by focusing on the small details of your own life. Show up for yourself in the ways you want a partner to show up for you.

You show affection by helping, being supportive, being there for the people that you love in small, meaningful ways. Tap into this thoughtful side of you, even if your person hasn’t entered your life yet.

Cultivate an appreciation for the small joys in life. Spend time in nature, practice mindfulness, find beauty in simplicity. Focus on the beauty of everyday moments.

Be PICKY! This selectiveness is a strength. Take your time choosing the right partner for you. Be thoughtful & mindful about who you let in your life.

Focus on your own self-development. Perfect your craft, take care of your wellbeing, lean into your desire to better yourself.

Work on self-acceptance and letting go of the need for perfection. Allow yourself to make mistakes and embrace the messiness of life. When you show that you’re okay with imperfection, you’ll attract partners who feel comfortable being their authentic selves with you.

Practice clear and thoughtful communication. Focus on maintaining open lines of communication. Cultivate honest and constructive conversations.

Take time to declutter and organize your living space. Create a peaceful, functional environment that makes you feel grounded and calm. Let your personal space reflect your sense of order.

LIBRA VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Make others feel comfortable, appreciated and at ease in your presence. Show your thoughtfulness–whether it's offering to pay for a meal or making sure the scales are balanced between you and your partner, you attract others by showing that you believe in fairness and mutual respect.

Focus on cultivating balance in all areas of your life (finances, career, friendships, self-care).

Lean into your grace, politeness, diplomatic nature, allow your natural charm to shine. This is what makes you magnetic.

Spend time cultivating harmony in your day-to-day life. This could mean balancing work and relaxation, making time for creative pursuits, or improving your home environment to make it more peaceful. When you’re living in balance, love flows more easily into your life.

Engage in activities that bring out your romantic side. Write, create art, enjoying romantic movies or books. Nurture this part of yourself.

Prioritize beauty, aesthetics and mental connection. Surround yourself by elegance, beautiful experiences. Allow your appreciation for beauty to guide you. Spoil yourself.

Engage in any creative hobbies. Decorate your space. Cultivate your personal style. Express and find beauty in your everyday life.

Be mindful of how balanced your interactions are with potential partners. Focus on finding someone who is willing to give as much as they receive, and who values fairness in the relationship.

Practice asserting your needs without fear of upsetting others. When you have strong boundaries, you’re more likely to attract partners who respect you and value your emotional wellbeing.

Engage in social and intellectual activities where you can meet like-minded people. Mental stimulation is key for you (air sign).

SCORPIO VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Lean into the slow-burn type of love stories. Don’t open up to just anyone, keep your emotions close to your chest–show your vulnerability to people who deserve it.

Do the inner work. Confront your shadows and fears. You’ll find someone who’s just as ready to dive deep with you.

Channel your intensity and passion into hobbies, personal development or creative work.

Prioritize quality over quantity in your dating life. Take your time getting to know people who are emotionally available and interested in building a deep connection.

Practice being emotionally vulnerable in safe spaces. Acknowledge your fears of getting hurt but understand that vulnerability is a necessary part of deep love. To attract lasting love, you must embrace it.

Work on healing any past wounds related to trust and betrayal. Reflect on what trust means to you and what you need from a partner to feel secure. You don’t just need to learn how to trust other people, but also in yourself and your ability to navigate relationships.

Balance intensity with lightheartedness. Love doesn’t always have to be serious and heavy. Focus on enjoying the lighter moments, engage in activities that make you laugh, spend time with friends, find joy in the little things.

Be intentional about the people you spend time with. Walk away from connections that don’t align with your values or emotional needs. Invest in people who want to build something real.

Focus on cultivating self-confidence and embracing your inner power. When you feel empowered and grounded in who you are, others will naturally be drawn to your magnetic energy.

SAGITTARIUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Seek new experiences, even if you have to pursue them alone for a while.  Take yourself on adventures, big or small. Travel to new places, try new hobbies, step out of your comfort zone in any way you know of! To attract love, lean into this love for adventure and prioritize it in your life.

Your excitement for life is contagious, so lean into it. Be your spontaneous self. Engage in activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. When you radiate positivity, you’ll naturally attract people who are excited to share your adventures and optimism with you.

Dive into deep conversations about life’s questions. Share your thoughts and feelings without fear of losing your independence. To attract lasting love, it’s important to balance your need for space with vulnerability and emotional connection.

Don’t restrict yourself to dating within a narrow framework. Meet new people through social events, groups, or activities that interest you, and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. The more open you are to new experiences, the better. Let go of rigid plans or expectations for how love will unfold.

Focus on maintaining your independence and pursuing your own passions. This will naturally attract partners who respect your need for space and autonomy, rather than those who want to control or confine you.

Join groups or attend events where learning and personal growth are at the center. Expand your mind, learn something new everyday. Invest in books, courses, intellectual growth, meaningful conversations.

Reflect on your relationship ideals and be clear about what you truly want. Don’t compromise on core values just to be in a relationship. Stay true to your vision of love.

Actively pursue your growth. You thrive on self-improvement. Set personal goals—like learning a new language, traveling to new places, exploring different philosophies. When you’re focused on becoming the best version of yourself, you’ll naturally attract someone who is on a similar journey.

CAPRICORN VENUS/7TH HOUSE

When people see how grounded, reliable, and responsible you are, they can’t help but be drawn to you.

Show off your success, but in a way that highlights your willingness to share it with your partner. Show that you’re willing to invest in a partnership, either financially or emotionally.

Invest time in your personal and professional growth first. Work on building a strong sense of self and achieving your goals, whether they’re related to career, health, or personal development.

Don’t feel pressured to rush into relationships. Take your time getting to know new people, focusing on forming a strong friendship first. Allow connections to develop naturally.

Remember that emotional connection is just as vital as financial and material security in a relationship. Allow yourself to be vulnerable & to open up. Start by sharing your feelings, dreams, concerns, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Set high standards, but be open to imperfections. Stay open to the idea that your partner may not check every box on your list—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t right for you. Love is about finding someone who grows with you, not someone who meets every ideal from the start.

Nurture your existing relationships by being consistent and reliable. Your loyalty will naturally attract people who value the same qualities in a partner.

Take time to clarify your long-term goals, both personally and professionally. When dating, look for partners who share similar values and visions for the future. Be open about what you want out of life, and don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that don’t align with your ambitions.

AQUARIUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE:

• Own your quirks, whether it be your fashion sense, perspectives, beliefs, visions or originality. That’s how you’ll attract someone who loves you for exactly who you are.

• Embrace your need for space and freedom. Practice enjoying your independence while cultivating self-love. Travel solo, pursue your hobbies, and focus on personal growth.

• Lean into the mental stimulation of a connection, but also keep yourself mentally engaged by pursuing your goals and hobbies.

• Invest your time in activities and communities that align with your passions, surround yourself with like-minded individuals.

• Cultivate your intellectual connections. Expand your knowledge and share your ideas with other people. You could also start new projects, learn a new skill or dive into topics that fascinate you to increase your magnetism.

• Value friendships as the foundation for love. Invest in the people that you already know, cultivate strong platonic connections. Explore group activities and social events that bring people together. When you focus on friendship, love may arise in an unexpected, natural way.

• Take the pressure off finding “the one” or fitting into traditional relationship molds. Instead, explore new ways of connecting with others, and allow yourself the freedom to redefine what love looks like for you.

• Practice vulnerability, even in small ways. It’s okay to let your guard down and share your feelings with trusted friends or through creative expression. When you allow yourself to be emotionally open, you’re more likely to attract someone who sees and appreciates the real you.

• Push yourself out of your comfort zone by trying new activities or exploring new social circles. Attend events where you can meet people with different perspectives and backgrounds. Love might come when you’re busy discovering new parts of yourself and the world around you.

PISCES VENUS/7TH HOUSE

You attract people through your softness, your empathy, and your creative soul. 

When you’re open about your creative, spiritual, and emotional sides, you become irresistible.

Engage in deep, soulful conversations, talk about the meaning of life, or share your love for art, music, and beauty. 

Express your love in meaningful ways, such as writing letters, creating curated playlists for your love interest, creating a drawing/painting for them, etc. 

Show your caring nature without being afraid of vulnerability. Let people see the compassionate side of you. 

Set healthy boundaries and avoid unbalanced relationships–protect your energy. Learn to say no when you need space so that your emotional resources are not drained.

Stay in touch with your emotions, practice emotional awareness through journaling, therapy, yoga, etc.

Romanticize your life, find beauty even in the simplest moments. Turn everyday moments into something magical and meaningful. Create romantic experiences for yourself, lead with your natural ability to make things special.

Release your emotional baggage. Don’t carry unresolved feelings or unrealistic fantasies into your relationships. Process your emotions to clear the path for love.

Trust your intuition and be compassionate with yourself. Love finds you when you’re in tune with your inner world.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[walble]

What kind of partner are you attracting?

This is meant to be a fun, general reading, so it may not resonate with everyone. Take what resonates for you and leave the rest behind! Please take a moment to breathe, focus on your intuition, and choose the photo that calls to you. Each holds a unique message for you!

𐙚 • 𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 1

The partner pile 1 is attracting is someone who is passionate, dynamic, and full of energy. This individual likely has a fiery spirit and a magnetic personality that draws attention wherever they go. They are ambitious and take bold action to pursue their goals, yet they balance this adventurous streak with a strong sense of fairness and morality. Integrity matters to them, and they strive to do what’s right, even in challenging situations. They bring a vibrant energy into relationships, showing a deep enthusiasm for shared experiences and personal growth.

However, this partner may have some emotional barriers or hesitations stemming from past disappointments. They might hold onto old wounds or fears of loss, making them cautious when it comes to opening their heart fully. While they desire stability and security in a relationship, they may struggle to let go of what no longer serves them, which can lead to a guarded approach in the early stages of a connection. Despite this, they are willing to work through their vulnerabilities and value a partnership that fosters mutual understanding and healing.

In the long term, this partner has the potential to provide a solid foundation for a lasting and abundant relationship. They value family, loyalty, and building a future that is rich in love, prosperity, and shared success. Their emotional depth and capacity for love shine through once they feel safe and supported. With time, they are likely to offer a fresh start in love that is deeply fulfilling, creating a connection based on trust, emotional reciprocity, and shared dreams. This is someone who may initially require patience but will ultimately bring a deeply rewarding and meaningful partnership.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

𐙚 • 𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 2

The partner pile 2 is attracting is someone who values connection, celebration, and creating joyful experiences together. This is a person who is deeply social and loves to foster harmony and camaraderie in their relationships. They likely thrive in environments where there’s a sense of community and shared happiness, making them a wonderful partner for someone who appreciates collaboration and support. They have a lighthearted side, enjoying moments of laughter and celebration, but they also take relationships seriously, seeking commitment and stability.

This partner is highly grounded and dependable, someone who has worked hard to achieve success and security in their life. They are generous, reliable, and have a strong sense of responsibility when it comes to creating a prosperous future for themselves and their loved ones. They are a provider at heart, dedicated to building a stable home and lifestyle. Their approach to relationships is practical yet warm, and they likely see a future where they can share their abundance and achievements with someone they deeply care for.

At the same time, this person has a reflective, introspective side. They’ve likely taken time to understand themselves and their path, embracing moments of solitude to gain wisdom and clarity. They may occasionally need space to recharge or process their emotions, but this quiet nature adds depth to their character. When they commit, they do so with clear intent, knowing what they want and where they’re headed. They bring a balance of inner wisdom and outward action, making them a partner who is both emotionally intelligent and determined.

Ultimately, this is someone who is ready to move forward with purpose in love. They have the drive and ambition to overcome obstacles and create a life filled with love, success, and emotional fulfillment. This partner is a blend of celebration, stability, and introspection, offering a relationship that feels both exciting and secure. Their dedication to building a strong foundation makes them an ideal match for someone looking for a long-lasting, meaningful partnership.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

𐙚 • 𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 3

The partner pile 3 is attracting is someone deeply nurturing, compassionate, and creative. This person embodies a sense of abundance and emotional warmth, bringing a loving and supportive energy into the relationship. They have a strong connection to their values and traditions, often seeking a relationship that aligns with their spiritual or moral beliefs. This is someone who values commitment and seeks to build a partnership rooted in trust, loyalty, and shared principles. They may have a protective and grounding presence, offering stability and care to their partner.

However, this person carries significant emotional or physical burdens, perhaps from past experiences or responsibilities they have yet to let go of. They may have a tendency to take on more than they can handle, striving to meet high expectations or support others at their own expense. This can lead to moments of exhaustion or feeling weighed down in life. While they have a strong and resilient spirit, they may need a partner who can help them share the load and remind them that they don’t have to face everything alone.

There is also a guarded side to this person, as they may be cautious about their resources or emotions. They might have learned to hold back or protect themselves due to past disappointments or betrayals. While they are willing to invest in a relationship, they do so with care, taking time to ensure their efforts are reciprocated. This can create a slower pace for building trust, but their dedication and commitment make it worth the wait. They approach love with patience, working to create something meaningful and long-lasting.

This partner may have endured significant endings or challenges in their life, which have shaped their perspective and taught them important lessons. Though they have faced pain or loss, they are in the process of healing and rebuilding. They seek a relationship that not only provides love and comfort but also serves as a space for renewal and growth. This partner has a deeply transformative energy, and while they come with their struggles, they offer a profound and rewarding connection for someone willing to embrace their complexities.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

If you're looking for a personalized reading tailored specifically to your energy, feel free to message me to book a session or visit my Ko-fi page to schedule one here: https://ko-fi.com/walble

[the-raven-and-the-tower]

A snoop through Lucanis's room in the Lighthouse; Signs of a Struggle

Lucanis is doing a damned good job holding it together considering everything he's been through. He's keeping a tight grip on his emotions and using the job to focus himself, but if you stop in to check on him... there are a few clear signs that not all is well.

Baby boy picked a room without windows, yet he's still craving light. For an assassin who has spent most of his life very comfortable in the dark, he’s avoiding it now like he’s avoiding sleep.

There are FIFTY SEVEN candles in his room. Fifty six of them are lit. Look at the variety. He found every spare candle available to him in the Lighthouse and possibly dragged a few back with him from the Cantori Diamond or Dellamorte estate.

^ Short candles, tall tapers, all in various states of use, ALL LIT. One very different candle in a silver candle-holder, maybe from the Diamond or home

^ Another silver addition, this time a candelabra with similar style to the last one and an elven lamp, similar to the one Rook decorates their room with.

^ Three more styles of candlestick holders in with all the standalone candles I'm guessing he found around the Lighthouse.

^ Terrible shot, but he also has both wall torches lit, which were the only lights in that space when he moved in IIRC

And what's more, he has enough coffee stashed in this room to give niacin flush to an elephant.

There are ELEVEN coffee cups sitting out and two more sitting ready next to the gifted coffee set. (Also, he has no coffee in his mug if you sneak a peek into it.)

^ Seven of the cups are within reach of his right hand, where he sits on the bed.

^ There's another in front of his hookah pipe. Couple more in the second shot, I missed a picture of one somehow. There are two unused cups sitting ready behind his gifted coffee set that definitely doesn't look like it's for tea...

^ Coffee beans and I'm guessing the two sacks next to the basket are full of the same. His empty cup below, cuz it makes me laugh.

Next, the bed. It gives me vibes of the crappy bedroll Astarion sleeps on in BG3. Look at this thing.

You can see where he tried scrubbing the grime away before giving up and deciding to just live with it. We know there are other beds in the Tower, Taash and Davrin both have cozy ones when they arrive.

Whether or not Lucanis had the conscious thought of "what he's worth / deserves", this is how he values himself. This is what he chose to sleep in... likely with the thought that he's going to be avoiding sleep at all costs anyway, why does it matter what shape the bed is in?

He brought barely any personal possessions with him. Lace is the same way, but Bellara's room is full and we found her packing list (adorable). Neve, too, has brought books, papers, a spare leg, tools to work on it with... Even Rook has a scene where they decorate their room with possessions that are meaningful to them.

But if we go looking through Lucanis's personal belongings, we find barely any of them. And what few there are, we find mixed among the team supplies or shoved under them.

^ Here, is hookah pipe is neatly shelved in the corner, and we find a a heavily-armored and well-locked chest tucked among the fruit. I might be looking for meaning where there isn't any but... Lucanis has got himself tucked away in the pantry, his walls up and himself still locked away in the Ossuary of his mind.

^ Better view of the chest.

Underneath one of the moved shelves is a Crow-themed rug, with almost all details hidden under supplies for the team, another big basket of coffee beans and another presumably-locked chest.

Under the bed, we find another rug, rolled up and not set out even though having it laid on the floor inside of the bed would be more comfortable. He spends a lot of time sitting on that bed, having a rug to put his feet on could be nice and yet... it's under the bed.

The only other Lucanis possession I could find in the room is his bag, shoved under his bed. He's a boujie boy, but it's not a boujie bag. It's utilitarian and well-used, shoved under the bed until he needs it.

To end on a slightly happier note... his brewing bench outside the pantry door is pretty neat.

^ I wonder where these mugs are from and what the designs represent.

^ Any idea what this is, anyone? The thing hanging from the chain?

Oh, and guess what was under the brew station! MORE COFFEE!

[childrenofcain-if]

After knowing that C and MC were in the same high school, I'm rooting even more for them. I'm also guessing C's confusing feelings for us in their route is them liking us since school? That's so freaking cute 🥰🥺

Can I ask for a scenario where they have a group project with other people and one of them gets very flirty with MC? Will C let that slide, I wonder 🫤

the diner sat on the corner of a street that tried its hardest to look charming but failed, the neon sign buzzing faintly against the rain-streaked window.

it was one of those places that seemed plucked from a movie set: vinyl booths, chrome napkin dispensers, and a jukebox in the corner that hadn’t worked since the last century. the smell of grease hung heavy in the atmosphere, mixing with the faint sweetness of syrup from the breakfast specials they served all day.

you sat in the booth, tapping your pen against the edge of your notebook, watching the door with mild dread. when C walked in, you knew the meeting was about to get infinitely more complicated.

C spotted you immediately, their sharp chalcedony green eyes narrowing like they’d been assigned a particularly irritating math problem. they weren’t dressed for the rain, but their aldervale prep blazer was immaculate, not a drop of water on it, as though the universe had conspired to shield them from the rain outside. although, you guessed it was most probably because of the black umbrella that they were carrying.

C slid into the booth across from you without a word, placing a pristine leather notebook on the table. their pen—silver, of course—clicked once. twice. a quick rhythm that made your teeth itch.

“you’re late,” you said.

“i’m exactly on time,” C replied, their voice clipped like the word ‘time’ had too many syllables and they were doing you a favor by saying it quickly.

your two other group members—darcy and lowe—arrived moments later, looking both nervous and excited, as though they’d stumbled into the VIP lounge of a club they didn’t belong to.

darcy, her backpack practically bursting with highlighters, was vibrating with energy. lowe looked more like they’d been dragged here against their will, though their eyes lit up when they spotted the milkshake menu.

you exchanged pleasantries, ordered drinks, and got down to business.

the topic was seattle, your city, and you were supposed to collectively dissect and analyze for the sake of some interdisciplinary project that combined geography, economics, and, for reasons you still didn’t understand, poetry.

“seattle,” you began, flipping open your notebook, “has many layers to it. you have the tech billionaires building spaceships on one side and grunge bands writing songs about the end of the world on the other. i think we should focus on how those contradictions make it unique.”

“that’s pretty reductive,” C cut in, not bothering to look up from their notebook. “seattle’s economy is primarily driven by tech, aviation, and trade. if we’re going to present a meaningful analysis, we should focus on its economic impact on washington state as a whole.”

darcy and lowe exchanged nervous glances. you clenched your jaw.

“not everything has to be about numbers, lacroix,” you said. “people care about stories, not spreadsheets. we can talk about the economy, sure, but we should start with what makes the city feel alive. the art, the culture—”

“and completely ignore the practical context?” C’s gaze lifted then, their expression somewhere between exasperation and boredom. “that’s like writing about a chess game and leaving out the strategy. completely pointless.”

“it’s not exactly pointless if it makes people care,” you shot back.

the argument spiraled from there, gaining momentum like a runaway train. darcy and lowe sat frozen, their eyes darting between you like spectators at a particularly intense boxing match.

“maybe we should, uh, toss a coin?” darcy offered weakly, her voice barely audible over your bickering.

C smirked, pulling a coin from their pocket as though they’d been waiting for this moment to occur this whole time. you selected tails and they flipped it, caught it, and slapped it onto the back of their hand.

“heads,” they announced, triumphant.

you groaned. “of course.”

“don’t be a sore loser, starkid,” C said, their tone practically dripping with smugness. “we’ll just have to do it my way this time.”

“fine,” you muttered, slumping back against the booth.

the tension eased slightly as the waitress arrived with your food—burgers, fries, and milkshakes that lowe declared were ‘the best in the neighbourhood’ despite never having tried any others.

you talked about school, about the upcoming math test and the cafeteria food which had reduced in quality after some new kitchen staff got employed. darcy was surprisingly funny, and lowe had a good bank of knowledge on obscure sports trivia.

C, however, remained quiet. they ate slowly, like each bite was a boring task to be completed. their posture was rigid, their eyes rarely leaving their plate.

it wasn’t until the conversation turned to favorite places in washington that you noticed something shift. darcy was talking about summers spent hiking in olympic national park, her voice full of nostalgia. lowe mentioned a family road trip to mount rainier.

“so, lacroix,” you said, turning towards the grumpy brunette. “penny for your thoughts?”

they blinked, clearly startled that you’d addressed them directly. “i... i’ve never been to any of those places.”

the table fell silent. even darcy looked surprised.

“seriously?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

they shrugged, their gaze fixed on the condensation dripping down the water glass. “i haven’t lived in washington as long as you all have. besides, i’m not exactly the adventurous type. i just… don’t see the point of, you know, wandering around aimlessly. it’s not like the city’s going anywhere.”

darcy, being the idealist she was, tried to lift the mood. “well, maybe you should visit some of those places one day! olympic’s amazing—especially the hoh rainforest.”

C didn’t respond. they just nodded, their lips pressed into a thin line.

for a moment, you felt something almost like sympathy. C, the untouchable perfectionist, didn’t seem know how to belong in places like this—in diners that smelled like burnt coffee, in conversations that meandered without purpose. they were as out of place here as a chessboard at a football game.

you then frowned, something tugging at the edges of your chest. you remembered hearing something once—maybe in passing, maybe during some rare moment of C opening up in class—that their parents had divorced when they were ten. that they’d moved to seattle from rochester, new york, with their mother, who worked long hours and didn’t have time for much else.

you didn’t know why you said it. maybe it was the way their voice had dipped, the way their composure seemed dulled. but the words came anyway. “maybe we could all go somewhere. for the project, i mean.”

C’s head snapped up, their green eyes narrowing like they were trying to decipher a riddle. for a moment, you thought they were going to say something cruel—an insult that’d have you getting angry again. but then their gaze softened, just a fraction.

“why?” they asked, the word almost inaudible.

you shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “i don’t know. it might help. plus, you can’t live like a hermit forever while you’re at washington.”

they stared at you for what felt like a long time, their expression unreadable. then, to your surprise, they nodded. wordlessly, awkwardly.

you thought you saw something flicker across their face then—something like a smile, small and fleeting, gone almost as quickly as it came.

for the rest of the meeting, C avoided your gaze. and as you all filed out of the diner, the rain starting up again in soft patters against the window, you found yourself wondering why you’d even offered.

but the truth was, you already knew. sometimes, your heart reached out before your brain could catch up. and for reasons you didn’t fully understand at the moment, it had reached for them.

the day began under a gauzy layer of mist that hung low over seattle. the clouds seemed reluctant to rise and the air carried a faint, damp chill.

lowe’s BMW 5 smelled faintly of peppermint gum and an air freshener that promised ‘ocean breeze’ but delivered something closer to what you’d find at a more eccentric section of bath & body works.

you sat on the passenger seat, your elbow resting against the door, the window cracked open to let in the air. darcy and C were in the backseat, the former preoccupied with her camera, snapping pictures of the dashboard, the sky, and the brunette beside her, who looked like they were already regretting agreeing to this trip.

the car wove its way through the city, past coffee shops with hand-painted signs and streets lined with rain-slicked trees.

lowe, ever the conversationalist, started talking about the destination—a landmark tucked away in one of seattle’s greener corners. but at some point, the conversation shifted, becoming less about the destination and more about you.

“y’know,” lowe said, their voice taking on a teasing lilt as they glanced at you, “i’m really happy we’re doing this. i was always curious about how it’d be to hang out with you outside of school”

you blinked, caught off guard. “um, thanks? that’s nice of you to say.” you gave them a polite smile, the kind you might offer a friendly cashier.

C, sitting stiffly in the backseat, was less amused. they had been glaring at the back of lowe’s head for the past ten minutes, their jaw tight, their arms crossed. every tap of lowe’s fingers, every casual joke, seemed to grate on them like nails on a chalkboard.

darcy, oblivious, was busy snapping pictures with her camera, capturing the rain-slick streets and the way the trees blurred as the car sped past. she hummed under her breath, the shutter clicking steadily, her energy so light and cheerful it was almost its own soundtrack.

finally, C, who had been silent up until now, shifted in their seat with a sharp huff.

“lowe,” they spoke up, their tone clipped, “maybe focus on the road instead of hitting on that idiot right in front of us.”

you squawked in indignation at being called an ‘idiot,’ not exactly getting what else they were implying.

meanwhile, lowe startled, their hands tightening on the steering wheel. “what? i wasn’t—” they caught C’s glare in the rearview mirror and quickly relented. “right. sorry. road. eyes on the road.”

you glanced back at C, confused by the sudden shift in the mood. their jaw was tight, their arms crossed over their chest, and they avoided your gaze entirely. you thought about asking what their problem was but decided against it. the day was too early, and you didn’t want to start bickering already.

the destination turned out to be kerry park. you stepped out of the car and stretched, looking around with a grin. your group followed suit and, after taking your backpacks, trudged up the steep streets of queen anne.

the park was small, unassuming—just a sliver of land carved into the hill, a place where the city stretched out beneath you like a quilt stitched together by architects, lovers of symmetry, and disarray alike.

from here, seattle wasn’t a city so much as a panorama, framed by the wide arms of the sound and the occasional, fleeting glimpses of mount rainier, pale and insubstantial like the ghost of a mountain in the distance.

the rain hadn’t yet started, though the air smelled of wet concrete and petrichor, gave you an indication that it wouldn’t hold off for long.

darcy had already pulled her camera out, its strap slung around her neck as she wandered a few feet ahead, her voice rising and falling as she described the perfect angles for her shots. lowe was by your side, gesturing dramatically at the view as if they were a tour guide instead of a co-conspirator.

C, who had followed at a distance and was now leaning against a nearby rail, their arms crossed and their face set in a scowl.

“lacroix,” you called over your shoulder, your tone light, inviting. “you should come and look around with us. it’s cool.”

they raised an eyebrow, their expression unimpressed. “thrilling, i’m sure.”

lowe shot them a weird look but said nothing, their attention soon snapping to follow darcy on her photoshoots.

you turned fully to face C. “you don’t have to be so grumpy, you know.”

“i’m not grumpy,” they snapped grumpily.

you sighed, letting it go for now. instead, you wandered over to the railing where they stood, resting your elbows on the cool metal as you gazed out at the view.

“this place means a lot to me,” you began, glancing at C. they didn’t respond, but they didn’t walk away either, so you took that as permission to continue.

“when i was little, my dad used to bring me here. we’d spend hours looking at the birds. he had this old, beat-up field guide he carried everywhere. i still remember the smell of it—old paper and leather. he’d flip through it so fast, trying to identify every bird we saw. i think he liked the challenge of it.”

C’s features softened, almost imperceptibly, as they listened.

“there was this one time,” you said, your voice growing warm with the memory, “we saw a bald eagle perched on one of the trees. it was so close, you could see the feathers on its chest ruffling in the wind. my dad was so excited, he nearly dropped his binoculars in a muddy puddle.”

you laughed. C smiled. it was not their usual arrogant smirk, but something too genuine to be described without it being an understatement.

even darcy noticed as she was snapping pictures of passers-by under the railing where you and C were leaning against.

from behind her camera, she whispered, “i think i just saw a miracle,” before snapping a picture.

in the photo, you were looking up at the sky, your face alight with wonder. and beside you, C was looking at you—not the sky, not the birds, but you. their expression was so unguarded, so tender, it made darcy pause, her finger hovering over the shutter button.

“and it’s not just the view or the birds,” you continued, your voice picking up momentum as you spoke. “there’s this whole history to it. did you know the park was named after albert sperry kerry? he was this big real estate guy in the early 1900s. probably bulldozed a lot of land to make a fortune. but this place? this tiny slice of the city? he gave it back. said he wanted people to have a place to breathe, to see things differently.”

you glanced over at C, expecting the usual sardonic remark, but they were watching you with an expression you didn’t expect—soft, almost eager, like they could never get tired of you talking about things like these.

“i guess i just like thinking about that,” you said, your voice trailing off as you turned back to the horizon. “how even someone who takes and takes can give something so beautiful.”

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. then, quietly, C said, “you really are a nerd, aren’t you?”

you laughed, the sound bright and unexpected, and while you didn’t have C laughing alongside you, you had a distinct feeling that they were too distracted by a certain someone to do so.

lunch was a quiet affair. you all sat on a damp wooden bench overlooking the trees. you plopped down beside C without a second thought, your shoulder brushing theirs as you unwrapped your sandwich.

C stiffened, their gaze flicking to you in surprise.

“you don’t mind, do you?” you asked, already halfway through your first bite.

they shook their head, though they looked puzzled, as if trying to understand why you’d willingly sit next to them when lowe was right there, still buzzing with laughter after a joke darcy shared with them.

“thanks for listening to me earlier,” you said softly.

C cleared their throat, their voice rough when they replied, “no problem.”

you still gave them a smile despite their (apparent) surly mood before turning back to your sandwich.

C looked down at their own food, their expression unreadable, but there was a faint hint of pink dusting the tip of their ears.

maybe, C concluded, the whole practical aspects of the project could take a backseat for now. it seemed like they didn’t mind focusing on the people of the city after all—or maybe it was just this infuriatingly intelligent seattle native that they couldn’t stop smiling for.

you wondered if the extreme makeover crew ever came to take darcy’s house as an inspiration for a lot of their renovations. it was a gleaming two-storey in a neighborhood where the lawns were manicured to within an inch of their lives and the houses all had names like “birchwood” or “côte d’azur.”

her parents were insanely successful real estate agents and it showed in every detail, from the perfectly symmetrical hydrangeas flanking the front door to the wrought-iron chandelier hanging in the entryway.

her room was a microcosm of the house itself: spacious and spotless. honestly, it made you want to take your shoes off just to avoid dirtying the carpet.

the walls were painted a muted teal, lined with shelves holding an army of books and a smattering of knick-knacks from trips abroad. there was a citrus-like scent around, and her plush white comforter made her bed look like a stratocumulus cloud.

you all sat cross-legged on her floor, laptops and papers spread out in a semi-circle as you planned out your presentation. ‘soren’ by beabadoobee was playing from darcy’s bluetooth speaker and the conversation was punctuated with bursts of laughter—mostly lowe’s loud, carefree chuckles and darcy’s softer, chiming giggles.

C, true to form, sat slightly apart, their long legs folded under them, their expression guarded but not unkind. they were listening more than talking, as always, their gaze darting between everyone like they were trying to keep up without wanting to look too interested.

“okay, but what if we start with the history of seattle, like the gold rush and all that, and then connect it to how the city evolved into this tech hub?” you suggested, glancing at C for approval.

the green-eyed brunette nodded once, their expression unreadable. “that works. it gives us a narrative to build on.”

lowe sidled up to you with an encouraging smile. “you’re always full of good ideas. i swear we’re going to ace this project at this rate.”

you laughed lightly, not catching the undertone. “it’s a group effort, lowe.”

“yeah, lowe,” darcy said, rolling her eyes in an annoyed manner from her spot near the window. “you’re really laying it on thick.”

you tried to smile it off but you couldn’t help but notice that she seemed almost... angry at lowe about something. the latter, on the other hand, was not meeting her eyes at all.

as if that wasn’t weird enough, you caught C stiffening out of the corner of your eye, their fingers tightening around their pen.

the awkwardness simmered quietly for a while, manifesting only in the way C’s responses grew shorter, their gaze darting less toward the group and more toward the window, where the rain streaked against the glass.

it wasn’t until lowe leaned closer to you, their voice dropping just enough to feel pointed, that the tension finally broke. “y’know, if you ever want to grab coffee or something after all this, i know a great place near pike place. it’s got this cozy corner that’d be perfect for—”

“i’m getting some water,” C announced abruptly, standing so quickly their chair scraped loudly against the floor.

the room fell silent for a beat as C walked away, their footsteps echoing down the hall. darcy glanced at you, then at lowe, and then back at you.

“you should go talk to them,” she said softly.

“what?” you asked, surprised.

“just... go,” she urged, nodding toward the door. “i think they need to hear from you.”

you hesitated, your gaze flicking between the door and the others. but there was something in the way darcy looked at you, a quiet insistence that made you realise the urgency she was feeling. besides, with the way she turned her attention to lowe with a scathing glare, you did not want to get in between whatever they had going on.

so you stood, mumbling something about being right back, and headed for the kitchen.

you found C by the sink, their back to you, their hands braced against the counter. the faucet was running, though the glass they were holding was still empty.

“hey,” you said tentatively, stepping into the room.

they didn’t turn around. “what do you want?”

“i just... wanted to check on you,” you said, your voice faltering. “you looked kind of... i don’t know, upset?”

C finally turned, their chalcedony green gaze indecipherable and cagey. “i’m fine. you can go back to lowe now. you two were having such a great time.”

their tone was harsh, and it made you blink in surprise.

“what are you talking about?” you asked, genuinely confused.

C rolled their eyes, the motion exaggerated, almost theatrical. “don’t play dumb. it was obvious you two were flirting.”

you sighed, caught between disbelief and frustration. “we weren’t flirting. that’s probably just how lowe is. they were just being friendly.”

C let out a short, humorless laugh, the sound more of a bark. “you’re an absolute dunderhead if you believe that. lowe wasn’t just flirting for fun—they meant it.”

you felt heat rising to your face, your irritation bubbling over. “okay, first of all, stop insulting me. and second, would you please stop ruining everything with your assumptions.”

C flinched, just barely, but it was enough to make you pause. their voice dropped, colder now. “maybe i should’ve asked the teacher to switch groups. if my presence bothers you that much—”

“maybe you should have,” you shot back, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “then maybe we wouldn’t have to deal with you being a burden all the time.”

for a moment, the kitchen was deathly silent except for the faint patter of rain against the window. C’s face twisted, not with anger but with something closer to hurt, and you immediately regretted what you’d said.

“okay,” they said quietly, their voice flat. “i’ll let myself out then.”

before you could say anything, before you could take it back, they were already walking up to the front door and reaching for their umbrella, their movements mechanical as they stepped toward the door. the rain outside had picked up, a relentless downpour that blurred the edges of the world.

you wanted to say something, to fix the fracture you’d caused, but the words wouldn’t come out on time.

C stepped into the rain without hesitation, the door clicking shut behind them. you stood frozen, the echo of their retreating footsteps mingling with the sound of the storm.

your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides as you stared at the front door. you wanted to curse. to rewind the last five minutes and unsay every single word.

you ran a hand through your hair, muttering something unintelligible under your breath as you paced. your foot caught on the corner of the coffee table, and in your aggravation, you stumbled forward, knocking over the pile of photographs darcy had laid out so carefully.

“great,” you muttered, crouching down to gather the scattered pictures.

they were glossy and vibrant, capturing moments from your trip to kerry park just two days ago. you hadn’t paid much attention to them before, but now, as you picked up photo after photo, a pattern began to emerge.

in nearly every image, C was looking at you.

your fingers froze on a picture where their smile was so open, so completely unlike their usual self, that it felt almost like intruding on a scene you weren’t supposed to see. their dimples were unmistakable, softening the sharpness of their features in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

in another photo, they were standing slightly behind you, their chalcedony green eyes focused entirely on you as you pointed out something in the distance, completely oblivious to their adoring attention.

for a moment, you just sat there on the floor, staring at the pictures, the edges of the glossy paper dampening under your trembling fingers. then, as if pulled by an invisible string, you stood.

darcy had made her way to the living room and said something as you made for the door, but her words were lost to the roaring in your ears.

the rain hit you like a wall as you stepped outside, cold and relentless, soaking through your clothes in seconds. but you didn’t care. your feet moved on instinct, splashing through puddles as you ran down the street. it was a foolish thing to do, running in a storm like this, but every step felt like it was carrying you closer to something you couldn’t name but desperately needed to reach.

you didn’t know which way C went exactly, but you had a feeling.

and then, through the curtain of rain, you saw them.

C was standing under their umbrella, their posture stiff as they glanced down the street. the soft glow of their phone screen illuminated their face, but they weren’t scrolling or texting. they were waiting for an uber, probably. or maybe just waiting for the storm to pass.

you skidded to a stop, breathless and drenched. when they turned and spotted you, their eyes widened incredulously like you’d just teleported there.

“what the hell are you doing?” they demanded, their voice rising over the rain as they speed-walked up to you, umbrella in hand. they immediately held it over both of you, shielding you from the worst of the downpour. “have you finally lost your mind? you’re going to catch a cold!”

you were out of breath, your chest heaving as the water dripped from your lashes, but you didn’t care. “i’m sorry.”

C blinked, their mouth opening slightly as if they were going to argue, but you kept going. “i’m sorry for what i said. i didn’t mean it. you’re not a burden, C. i’ve never ever thought of you like that. the truth is—”

your words caught in your throat, the weight of them almost too much. but you forced them out. “the truth is, i’ve had a great time doing this project with you. i really didn’t mean any of it—about switching groups, about ruining things, you being a burden. i’m glad we got paired together, even if you drive me completely insane sometimes.”

“are you done?” they asked gruffly, though their tone lacked its usual edge.

you nodded sheepishly, your heart hammering against your ribs.

they sighed, lowering their gaze for a moment before meeting yours again. “i had a great time too. you... you made me see the city in a way i never had before. you made me appreciate it. i...” they sighed, “i was being too stubborn and i shouldn’t have given you a hard time with everything. and... i don’t mind your company, even if you’re way too dense sometimes to see what’s in front of you the whole time.”

the sincerity in their voice made your breath catch. right now, all you could do was stare at them and bask in the warmth they made you feel.

you admired the way their dark brown hair curled slightly at the edges, damp and clinging to their skin. the way the rain caught in their lashes, making their chalcedony green eyes glow as though a thousand hues were shifting like sunlight through sea glass. the way their fair skin seemed to glow faintly in the dim light, the sharpness of their cheekbones, the curve of their lips, soft and slightly parted.

they shifted under your gaze, their cheeks suddenly flushing pink.

“what?” they snapped. “why are you ogling me?”

but you didn’t answer. at least not with words.

before you could second-guess yourself, you stepped forward, leaning in until your lips brushed against theirs in a kiss that felt as inevitable as the rain falling around you.

C froze, their eyes wide in shock and disbelief before they pulled back, their fingers flying to their lips.

“i’m so sorry,” you blurted out, the heat rising to your face as you realized what you’d just done. your heart was sinking in absolute shame. “i—”

but before you could finish, C let the umbrella drop to the ground with a soft clatter. rain cascaded over both of you as they grabbed your face with trembling hands as they surged forward, their lips crashing against yours in a kiss that left no room for doubt.

the world seemed to fall away in that moment, leaving only the two of you, your hands tangling in the fabric of their rain-soaked sweater as their fingers threaded themselves in your wet hair. it was cold, sure, but their kiss was warm, searing, as if it had been waiting to catch sparks all along.

your clothes were drenched and your hair was practically plastered to your face, but it didn’t matter. nothing else mattered.

it wasn’t until the honk of a car horn shattered the moment that you finally broke apart, both of you panting as you turned to see the waiting uber that C had previously booked.

C’s face turned crimson as they also turned to look at the car, their expression mortified and exasperated at the same time.

“putain,” they muttered under their breath before grabbing your arm and their umbrella. they then shut it quickly and tugged you toward the vehicle.

the uber driver, to his credit, said nothing as you both slid into the backseat, though the faint twitch of his lips and the knowing look he gave you two in the rearview mirror didn’t go unnoticed.

“could this day get any more embarrassing?” C asked as they crossed their arms over their chest, staring determinedly out the window.

“uh huh,” you mumbled, still in a daze from what just happened.

“that was my first kiss, you know,” C muttered.

you turned to them, still not registering their words. “you’re so gorgeous.”

C scowled, their blush deepening. “shut up, you dolt. you’re not even listening to me.”

but when their hand crept over to cover yours, you couldn’t stop the goofy smile that spread across your face.

[thejournallo]

Explain the basic: sigils.

I genuinely can’t remember if I’ve already talked about sigils, but I couldn’t find any post where I did. So, here we go again (maybe it’s time-shifted—who knows?).

What Are Sigils?

Sigils are symbols created to represent a specific intention or desire in witchcraft. They are often unique, crafted by combining letters, shapes, or personal designs that resonate with the practitioner’s goal. Once charged with energy and intent, they act as a focus for manifesting that goal.

How Are Sigils Used?

Creation: A sigil is designed through a process that typically involves writing down the intent, simplifying it into symbols, and arranging the symbols into a unique design.

Activation: The sigil is "charged" with energy by methods like meditation, visualization, or burning. This sets the intent into motion.

Placement: Sigils are placed in meaningful locations where they can align with their purpose, such as on personal items, in living spaces, or even drawn invisibly.

How to do a sigil?

Define Your Intention

Clearly state what you want to achieve.

Use positive and specific language (e.g., “I attract abundance,” not “I don’t want to be poor”).

Simplify the Phrase

Write down your intention as a short phrase.

Remove vowels and duplicate letters.

Example:

Intention: “I attract abundance.”

Letters remaining: "IATRCBND"

Create the Sigil Design

Use the remaining letters to form a unique symbol.

Combine, stylize, and overlap the shapes until the letters become unrecognizable.

Focus on making the design feel meaningful and visually appealing to you.

You can even use a simple chart with letters to create your personal sigil.

Charge the Sigil

Infuse the sigil with your energy and intention using one or more methods:

Meditation: Visualize your goal while focusing on the sigil.

Physical Action: Trace or redraw it with intent.

Elemental Release: Burn, bury, or submerge the sigil to activate it.

Place or Use the Sigil

Decide where to put the sigil for it to fulfill its purpose:

On objects you use daily (e.g., a water bottle, wallet, or phone).

Hidden in meaningful places (e.g., under your pillow, in a journal).

Where can you place a sigil?

On Your Body

Draw it on your skin with makeup, henna, or washable markers.

Wear jewelry or clothing with the sigil inscribed or sewn in.

Personal Belongings

Inside your wallet or purse (e.g., for abundance or protection).

On your phone case or inside the phone cover.

On your keys, keychain, or a charm.

At Home

On mirrors or windows for protection or clarity.

Under your bed, mattress, or pillow for restful sleep.

Near your front door for protection and inviting positive energy.

On Daily Items

On water bottles, food containers, or your coffee mug (e.g., for self-love, health, or energy).

On your planner, notebook, or laptop for focus and creativity.

On cosmetics or perfume bottles to enhance beauty or self-esteem.

Workspace or Study Area

Under your desk or chair for focus and productivity.

On your computer or work tools for success in tasks.

Outdoors or Public Spaces

Etched in dirt or sand for temporary, natural effects.

Drawn on stones, leaves, or other natural items and left in meaningful places.

[thydungeongal]

Many D&D 5e DMs ignore the game's own suggested structure of having multiple encounters per adventuring day, and while they aren't entirely wrong to do so (the suggested number of encounters per adventuring day doesn't quite line up with the actual math of the game nor does it produce enjoyable gameplay for those who don't enjoy D&D's combat, i.e. the part that D&D is the most about so you know what are we even doing here). Instead they focus their attention on trying to run only a single, narratively satisfying combat encounter. Which often works against itself because you will find yourself hard-pressed to get a dramatic combat out of a single battle in D&D 5e when player characters will be going into battle at full resources.

Because in most cases D&D's resource management is really at its best when it's not about managing resources within a single encounter but over multiple encounters. If you can expect only one encounter per adventuring day "should the wizard cast fireball now or save it for later" really isn't a relevant question in most encounters. In most cases the answer is "cast it now because the more enemies are dead by the end of this round the fewer attacks the party will have to potentially suffer next round."

And it often ends up eliminating all tension as well. If characters can count on having all their resources available for their one combat encounter of the day then they can pretty much rest assured that they will have enough healing and damage at their disposal to eliminate the enemy. The GM can hope to alleviate this by adding enemies that can take out party members quickly, but it is a risky proposition in many ways: the dice can swing one way and eliminate a player character before the group has a chance to react at all, which isn't exactly a failure on the party's part, it's just dumb luck (now, dumb luck is sometimes a valid way to introduce tension, but in the context of an encounter that is supposed to feel dramatic a character being taken out during the first turn before there is any input on the player's part can feel anticlimactic). Characters have very limited resources available to them to actually actively mitigate damage. Most of the time if a character loses initiative they are at the mercy of the enemy, being entirely reliant on the enemy rolling low on their attack/them rolling high on their saving throw. Some characters have reactive defenses available to them, but that's the thing: only some of them.

On the other hand things swinging the other way and an enemy having a single bad round during which they fail to deal meaningful damage to the party can conversely begin a death spiral for the enemy, where characters will be able to reserve resources that would normally be spent fighting back against enemy assaults on simply focusing on damage.

Of course this hasn't always been the case in D&D: the conventional wisdom in older editions was that player characters would have to delve into dungeons on limited resources and conserve those resources throughout the adventuring day. And this basically is how 5e is supposed to be run: but for a variety of reasons it also runs against the idea of combat being dramatic. If most combats during an adventuring day are just obstacles to be overcome, it eventually does make combat feel routine. Which, you know, somewhat also undermines the idea that combat is supposed to be dramatic.

But also, on a per encounter level, there was a brief moment in a bygone age known as "fourth edition" when player characters regardless of class had meaningful decisions to make within an encounter: compared to 5th edition, daily abilities were at a premium, which makes sense, because in 5th edition the assumption is that characters will have more daily resources they must juggle throughout a long adventuring day. 4e does also assume multiple encounters between long rests, but its adventuring days are noticeably shorter. Furthermore, healing is a finite resource in 4e on both a day-by-day and an encounter level. Characters can take a second wind action once per combat to spend a healing surge to recover some hit points, after which they are reliant the party's leaders (whose standard healing abilities are limited to two uses per combat. Scary!). And while 4e combats could also get swingy, the numbers were usually set up in such a way that a single swingy round would usually not take a player character from 100 to 0 percent. Like in 5e, most characters lacked reactive defenses, but they usually still had time to act before they were dropped.

But even 4e didn't fix one issue of D&D combat: that it often lacks permanent consequence beyond just "your character is dead." This is of course not an issue for the type of play that D&D natively supports and there are exceptions to this rule in the form of some creatures that can inflict other consequences on characters, but due to the abstract nature of D&D's combat the outcomes of combat are usually "my character fell to 0 hit points and died" or "my character dropped the enemy to 0 hit points and they died."

Speaking of those alternate consequences, an encounter with a basilisk that turns a party member into stone isn't necessarily fun as a dramatic combat encounter because it simply takes out one party member from the action, meaning they don't get to enjoy the afterglow of having defeated the enemy. Or if they do it's because a party member could cast a spell that undoes the petrification which is like. Oh, the character was only dead temporarily. You know what genre of play temporary death as a minor setback works really well in? Dungeon crawling. It also ties nearly into the logistical side of the game.

Anyway, point being, there are multiple contradictory design issues inherent to the very idea of combat and how it should be handled in tabletop RPGs and not a single correct answer. But D&D does not natively support a model of a single dramatic encounter per day, because that runs against the game of resource management and attrition inherent to it. D&D's combat can often lack tension on a per-encounter basis, but that tension arises are the very latest once characters need to start conserving their resources.

Or idk.

[millysastroblog]

Random Astro Theory’s

🔭I have a theory that Saturn's influence on relationships doesn’t necessarily mean someone will marry later; in fact, it could indicate the opposite. In the charts of some people I know, I’ve observed that when Saturn is in Cancer aspecting Venus or in the 7th house, there tends to be a strong focus on long-term, serious relationships that can lead to marriage. These individuals prioritize stable, equal partnerships, and while they might be late bloomers, once the time is right, they are committed for real. This could also apply to someone with a Venus-Jupiter aspect in Cancer or Cancer in the 7th house, who might even experience family-arranged marriages or similar situations."

🔭Plutonic Synastry/Composite isn’t about love in the way we typically think of it—it’s about transformation through intensity. It's like entering a vortex that forces you to confront the deepest parts of yourself. This connection is a catalyst for deep inner work. You get caught in this whirlwind, feeling that intoxicating rush of what seems like love, but it’s really more of a temporary trap that pushes you to face everything you’ve been avoiding. It’s like a snake that slides unnoticed through your at first, suddenly strikes with a sharp, unexpected bite. The sting feels like betrayal—like you’ve been deceived or hurt, and the trust you once had is shattered. But that venom coursing through your veins? Its something that you needed, even if it feels like it’s killing you in the moment. The poison is your awakening, forcing you to face your deepest fears and wounds.The process is messy and painful. It’s like being in a pressure-cooked cocoon, where the heat of it all brings everything to the surface. All the things you didn’t want to deal with fear, trauma, insecurities come pouring out. But once it’s all released, you are left with a new self, one that’s been purged, cleansed, and rebuilt from the ashes. You come out stronger, more self-aware, and ready to take on the world, like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. 🦋🦋🦋

🔭I feel like Gemini and Pisces are similar in the way they’re often disliked or called "flip-floppy" or "fake" due to how broad, diverse, and unrestricted their worlds are. For Gemini, ruled by the twins, they don’t just have one way of doing things; it’s always split into multiple opinions, perspectives, and options. Whether it’s the information they share, the people in their lives, or even their choices in food, clothes, or money, they will figure things out in different ways. It’s easy for them to get bored and restless if something doesn’t stimulate their mind or offer something new, which is why they can quickly drop things, change their minds, or shift their personalities. So, if a Gemini flips on you, it’s usually because they’re bored.

As for Pisces they often don’t know themselves fully they just know that their reality is more fantasy, where they can take different forms, shape-shift, and be whoever they want. Because of their vivid imagination and deep sensitivity, they easily adapt to their environment, people, or situations, but often only if it serves their so-called limerence or false reality. Once that illusion is cracked and no longer meets their expectations, they can easily disengage or withdraw."

🔭Venus conjunct Chiron is a placement that gives someone a pure heart and soul when it comes to relationships and connections. These individuals have a unique way of accepting, nurturing, and understanding others in a meaningful, deep way. They’ve been hurt and betrayed many times, often feeling inferior. Most of the time, they've gone through a difficult, painful phase in life, only to suddenly transform into something beautiful, like a swan emerging from the struggle. They are often misunderstood and incredibly adorable, yet carry an air of quiet strength. People with this placement tend to crave love but often feel unworthy of it, which can lead them to attract unbalanced or unequal relationships. Despite the hardship and challenges they face, they possess an incredible capacity for forgiveness and empathy for others. There's a special allure or charm they exude that effortlessly draws people in. Over time, their biggest lesson will be to learn to value themselves first, to feel whole without relying on external validation whether that’s money, beauty, or luxury so that they can attract the right kind of people into their lives. In doing so, they also teach others how to do the same.

🔭Chiron doesn’t necessarily mean that you will suffer in one specific area of life forever. Since Chiron orbits between Saturn and Uranus, it takes on qualities from both planets. Saturn is about longevity, hard work, and the lessons we learn through persistence. As such, Chiron's energy can be challenging, especially in the beginning. It brings harsh and painful lessons that are meant to help us grow as individuals. However, the pain and suffering tend to lessen over time as we gain wisdom, knowledge, and maturity traits associated with Saturn. If someone doesn’t reach a certain level of enlightenment or growth, the cycle can repeat in the same, difficult way, as Saturn teaches us that growth comes through effort and time. But just like in the example above, there’s the potential for a breakthrough with every Chiron placement. These breakthroughs can be sudden and drastic, unlocking an evolution in our consciousness and allowing us to integrate healing in this life.

🔭The Midheaven (MC) shows how people perceive you when they first meet you, not how they view you over time. The 10th house, which contains the MC, is the highest point in the birth chart. Initially, people will see the energy of your MC placement, but as they get to know you better, they can start to appreciate the traits of your 1st house, Ascendant, or Sun sign.

Example: I have Capricorn on my 10th house/MC, conjunct Mars, opposite Saturn.

The Comments: "You look mean, you have resting bitch face, you seem so closed off, I didn’t know you could be nice." These are some of the first impressions I hear when people describe how they first saw me. I also get a lot of comments about my body and face being beautiful, but despite that, people don’t tend to like me right away. And honestly, I kind of get why.

🔭The negative expression of Neptune can be described in just few words in correlation to the planets :

Absence , disillusionment, deception of…

Sun: your Dad

Moon: your Mum

Venus: your Man/Woman

Mercury: your Perception

Mars: your Power and Will

Jupiter: your Beliefs

Saturn: your Limitation

Uranus: your Freedom

Pluto: your Control and Obsession

ASC: one Self

MC: your Public image

~•Milliy•~

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - which enhypen member (hyung line) is your ideal boyfriend?

thought of a fun idea where i could look into which enhypen member (hyung line) would be your ideal boyfriend. remember to please take the reading lightly and for fun! breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

➳❥ pile 1

sim jaeyun

shuffled song: take one to the head by sabrina claudio

you immediately strike me as quite mature. regardless of your age, you might already have a good amount of crucial life experience; maybe you're an old soul caught in a younger body. or you've just been through certain things in life, which have shaped you into this wise and complex soul. either way, there seems to be wisdom and knowledge, as well as this profound understanding of life within you. you ask the meaningful and deeper questions in life. jake is a boyfriend, who enjoys relationships which transform him for the better. he likes people who can have a significant impact on him and his life; i can see you having the potential to amuse jake with not only your ability to talk about the deeper and more serious topics in life, but also your natural charm. it seems like you have this aura about you, where people just feel drawn to you automatically. jake loves meeting people who just cause this sensation in him, where he feels attracted right at first glance.

regardless of which gender you identify as, you seem to embrace your feminine qualities quite beautifully. you're very attractive, and have this nice balance between empathy, emotionality and sensuality, but also fiery vibrancy and a strong presence. these are traits jake feels drawn to easily; again, he just loooves someone who makes an impression on him. he loves people who stand out in the crowd. whether it's because of your emotional intelligence, your talent and hard work in a certain field (maybe artistically), or this intriguing passion you radiate.. you are quite the force to be reckoned with, and jake would probably agree with me on that.

even despite all the ways in which you draw attention to yourself, you also seem to be someone who does enjoy the quiet and more intimate times. you do need breaks to calm down; jake is a boyfriend who also very much likes to focus on his lovers only, and spend time with them while away from everyone else. i can see you two spending the day together just cuddling, watching movies, getting to know each other on an even deeper level. jake is a guy who definitely enjoys his quality time, and likes bonding over it. so he'd love to recharge his energy by spending quality time with you on his off days; it'd just be this dynamic of calm and peaceful, but also hot and steamy times whenever you two feel like it.

in addition, you might be a person who doesn't like letting go of what's dear to them; whether that is material things, or the people you hold close to your heart. jake himself can have this complex duality where, he is possessive and quite obsessive over his lovers himself, but can also have his impulsive ways. however, if he comes together with a dedicted partner who remains committed to him throughout all trials, this will ignite the spark within him to stick by their side as well. this stable approach you could potentially bring into the relationship, could be of huge benefit to someone like jake, whose mars in libra often strikes me as significant. he gives me the energy of a person who values the concept of give and take, where if someone treats him a certain way, he will want to give it back to them. i can see you two coming together as an experience where, you can bond over your similarities and bring out the better in each other, in order to create a connection based on a stable and firm ground, consisting of real trust.

➳❥ pile 2

park sunghoon

shuffled song: me after you by paul kim

you might be a person who likes the idea of having a boyfriend, who's ready to be the provider and protector in your life. someone mature, dependable and reliable, who steps up to take charge and lead the relationship. perhaps you also don't mind the thought of more traditional roles within a romantic connection, and enjoy the concept of a domestic life.

do you feel like you'd benefit from a more stable and strong figure by your side sometimes? you might be someone who's in possession of a more sensitive, soft and easily hurt heart. you might also be someone self-critical, and could have a tendency to overthink or get nervous and anxious about trivial things. (don't be so hard on yourself <3) sunghoon is a boyfriend who puts a lot of importance into establishing emotionally intimate bonds with his lovers. he's also a person who can display this soothing source of comfort and peace for his partners. he's good at making people feel listened to, and cared about.

sunghoon would be a person who's ready to listen to whatever you have to say, someone who'd always have an open ear to allow you to vent and let out your worries or frustrations. whether that's through the phone, in person; he'd help you feel supported and looked after, he'd be this rock-like existence that brings you a lot of strength and stability in life. you could lean on him comfortably, feel like you've found your person, someone who you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to without any second thoughts. he'd not only be a boyfriend who'd want to know you like no other, but he would want to understand you like no other.

“tell me more.”

“it's a long story though..”

“for you, i have all the time in the world.”

you could also enjoy quiet and relaxing times together with him. perhaps you are a person who leans on the more introverted and reserved side, or just need your peace at the end of the day, and would like someone you could, basically be alone together with. sunghoon would love intimate dates where it's just you two, in a dimly candle lit room, watching a romantic movie, with the rest of the world masked out. he'd truly enjoy feeling only your presence next to him, and your heart would feel at ease. because you would feel comfortable knowing the person next to you is someone who loves you and takes you for who you are in your entirety. as i said in my ideal type reading, it's like having a lifelong bestfriend.

furthermore, you could be a person, who can take some time with developing trust and warming up to people. sunghoon is a patient lover, who doesn't rush into relationships, and not only takes his own time, but also allows the other party to be slower when it comes to matters like letting down their walls. he usually enjoys relationships which go on for a long period; preferably forever, if only they could. therefore, he wouldn't be rash or overwhelming in his approach at all; he would respect, as well as protect your personal boundaries, and let you take your time with getting to know each other.

lastly, sunghoon would be a boyfriend who'd be up to defend you against whoever dares to come at you. you seem like someone who might've dealt with their share of challenges and obstacles in life till now (i keep feeling like you've just felt quite alone in your difficulties..) and might be a person who'd like for their partner to speak and stand up for them when the situation calls for it sometimes. maybe you're just tired of fighting on your own. sunghoon is a boyfriend who absolutely would place himself in front of the person he loves, in order to protect them from any harm. (i heard the chorus of grenade by bruno mars in my head) he'd be a boyfriend who wouldn't want to leave you to deal with any struggle on your own, and would put in effort to ensure you feel secure, sheltered and guarded; basically in safest of hands, when you're with him.

➳❥ pile 3

lee heeseung

shuffled song: the wisp sings by winter aid

heeseung is a diligent and mindful boyfriend who carries a lot of high expectations, not only towards his partner, but especially himself. whenever i read for him, i get a lot of insecurities and doubts concerning the romantic aspect of his life.. he's someone who defines so much of his own worth and value by what he can do for people. so best believe if you get to a place of dating him, he'll be immensely focused on pleasing and satisfying you. his significant other will be the main thing occupying his mind; he'll be obsessed about you. like all he'd think about is; “what can i buy for y/n? was my gift or date idea good enough? how did they react? what more can i do for them, so they feel happy in this connection, i'm worried they feel bored.” he'll have all these questions in his mind constantly. i feel like you two might share this tendency to hyperfixate on the people you love. you might share this pronounced earthy and airy energy, where both of you can be prone to overthinking, but at the same time, go through life expecting a lot from yourself, as well as the people around you. hard-workers in several different ways. you yourself might also not be the type to be easily satisfied.

heeseung seems to carry a level of mistrust towards his lovers; he can get worried he isn't enough for them, and they might end up filling the potential lack of emotional fulfilment in their relationship, with someone else. he wants to provide you with everything you need in life; whether that's material matters, or emotionally. he can often feel like he isn't doing that, no matter how much effort he puts into the connection, it's never truly enough.. however, i can tell you are a person who's keen on remaining committed and dedicated to the people you love. you carry a lot of understanding and acceptance, you don't read as someone extremely judgemental or overly strict. if you love someone (which i feel doesn't happen as often.. you don't fall in love quickly, but once you do ->) you love them with everything they come with. you're aware you yourself aren't perfect, and are willing to work on yourselves together. you want the relationship to consist of a foundation of trust and tolerance towards each other's shortcomings; you want to grow and improve together. you aren't the type to have eyes for anyone else once you enter a serious commitment. you seem very caring and giving towards the people you cherish. if one person pours into your cup generously, you will make sure you pour into their cup as well. i can tell you'd be a good addition to heeseung's life, in a way where you could soothe his worries and anxious mindset in this regard.

i also believe your conflict-resolving skills will be good together. i think you two could get into plenty of arguments; however instead of allowing them to drag you down or negatively impact the relationship, the conflicts will aid you in getting to know each other on a deeper level. you aren't the type to throw the towel once you two had a falling-out, but instead, you'll look back on yourself and think about how you can use this situation to improve your behaviour and attitude. you'd both be eager to recognise the mistakes each of you made. i can see both of you teaching each other how to apologise, how to own up to your faults, and enrich each other's lives with the cooperative and understanding mindset you both bring to the table. despite your potential and likely up and down's, you'd both balance each other out in a way where i can see a lot of growth and comfort in this connection.

➳❥ pile 4

park jeongseong

shuffled song: so beautiful by dpr ian

jay has quite the dynamic personality, which also showcases itself as him as a boyfriend. he's someone who's incredibly passionate, very enthusiastic and ambitious, but in relationships, he truly values stability and a firm ground. he wants a person who also puts importance into starting a romantic connection based on a foundation of trust and dedication. jay seems to have had some rather unfavourable experiences regarding someone's loyalty, which have resulted in him having the tendency to get suspicious more easily than others. therefore, he wants a person he can fully invest his trust into with no doubt. he wants someone who holds him as a priority just the way he himself would see you as up there on his list of most important people in his life. although in this reading, i very much tapped into jay's energy moreso than yours; i do sense that you are a person who wants to stay committed once you've found a person you see as worth it.

being in a relationship with jay; you can expect him to be quite solid. he can quickly pressure himself to be the best he can be for you, put a lot of the responsibility on his back automatically. he can be so strict with himself that he can lose himself in all the practical thinking and easily disconnect from his emotions. he wants someone who can nurture his emotional side more, would love to have an empathetic, emotionally intelligent, as well as understanding partner who's more in tune with their feelings than he is. are you perhaps a water sign? or do you have any significant water placements? you might be quite in touch with your more “feminine” side. (as in softer, more emotional and nurturing) even if not, you seem to be someone who has the ability to make people feel understood and comfortable. there's this very loving and caring side to you, which would balance jay's more rational approach nicely. he himself has an abundance of emotions, it's just a side of him that doesn't always find its way out as much. as a cancer moon for example, i think a cancer sun or venus would make a beautiful fit for him.

i get the energy, that you're also someone who's quite loyal and committed to the dear people in your life. you might be someone who prefers a small but close circle of friends, or someone who prefers more intimate settings in general. maybe you get overwhelmed or overstimulated quickly, and don't like masses of people. do you have a strenuous job? or one that requires you to see people a lot? there's this desire for rest and quiet here, which i don't feel is only reserved for jay.

this is something i've mentioned a lot, but jay is another person who seems to truly want a source of peace and comfort in his life. he wants this person he can come back home to at the end of the day, to spend some relaxing and soothing times with. he wants you to feel like his break, essentially. even if he's had a stressful, physically and mentally exhausting day; he wants to be able to meet you afterwards, and feel like all the stress is relieved by just a hug. i can see you having the potential to become a person who grants him that. i can feel you having a deep soul, who reflects and introspects a lot. maybe you're even more of a loner deep down, or more of an introvert (i do feel you might be an ambivert who does well in both settings; but needs that quiet time to shut off and recharge) jay would love to have a person like you in his life. you could bond over your similarities in that manner, and give each other what both of you crave in your lifes; passion, stability, dedication and peace.

[virtualflowerbatathlete]

Weird opinion nobody asked me for:

Several things can be true at once when talking about Leo’s arc in HOO regarding romance.

NO, Leo did not need to resolve his self esteem issues and insecurities before he started dating. You don’t have to be fully mentally healthy to date someone or be in love (Look at Percabeth! Both of them were a mess when they started dating, but they grow together.) The implication that you need to be fully recovered from any mental illness or trauma before being “allowed” to date is a dangerous one.

BUT it was incredibly disheartening to watch these insecurities lead Leo to being in a relationship where he is not as happy as he hoped he would be, and even in some cases, being abused by a girlfriend who seems almost ashamed to be associated with Leo at all. Calypso’s irritation and snipes at Leo don’t feel at all like when couples like Percabeth or Solangelo tease each other. When Percabeth and Solangelo tease each other, there’s an undercurrent of genuine affection, and also a sense that the two are on even footing in the relationship; Nico can call Will his “significant annoyance,” and Will can call Nico his “little ball of darkness.” Annabeth calls Percy “Seaweed Brain,” and he can call her “Wise Girl.” But there is no even footing with Caleo. Leo is so desperate to make things work with her that he won’t fire back when Calypso insults his interests or personality. The relationship is volatile and imbalanced, and honestly, that feels like a far more tragic ending for Leo than him being single at the end of HOO.

ALSO it was fully possible for Leo to have an arch where he realizes that he doesn’t need romance to be happy, and later getting into a romantic relationship. (Hell, it could even happen in the same book) I deeply resent the takes where people somehow see both these things as mutually exclusive. As an example of this, over time, I learned that grades don’t define who I am, and that I can build my self worth outside of them. That doesn’t mean that I have to give up on getting good grades entirely. What that does mean is that I focus more on learning the material for my own benefit than trying to get the highest score, and strangely enough, my grades started going up. In the case of Leo, a character arc where he learned to love himself and not need a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that he would stop looking for one. Instead, he would seek meaningful connections with the people around him, one of which could bloom into a romantic relationship.

ALSO it would be fully possible for Leo to have this arc while in a romantic relationship with someone. While a partner can’t “fix” you, the people we love can open doors for us to learn and grow. Hell, in the books, we see this demonstrated with Leo and Jason. Leo confides an insecurity, and Jason challenges this insecurity. This causes Leo to think, and thus to grow. Yes, they were not canonically romantic, but my point still stands that this isn’t necessarily a journey Leo would need to do alone. He could have had a romantic partner who helped in his journey of learning to love himself.

ALSO the desire Rick, and by some extension we (the fandom) had in HOO to pair every single character off with their “perfect match” is one that should be questioned. I think that Rick and the fandom have come a long way, and I think TOA really played around with this concept in a very interesting way. But the strange implication I sometimes see is that Leo having no romantic partner must mean that it’s an unsatisfying arc. As an aroace person, the implication that life and stories are only satisfying if the person involved ends up with a romantic partner is disheartening.(I say this as a Valgrace shipper) If your first instinct when hearing a character is single or learning to love being single is to go, “OH GOD, THEY’RE ALL ALONE AND WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN FOR THEM!” Maybe, it’s time to examine the implications behind those thoughts.

ALSO shipping is fun and not that serious. If you like a ship, go for it. This is not me telling you not to ship Leo with anyone, as I said, I’m a huge Valgrace fan.

Anywho, if you want more extensive thoughts on Calypso, lemme know. Also feel free to add, I’m sure there’s even more nuance to talk about

[bloomzone]

my 2025 goals liiiiiiist ! + how to write your owwwwwwn (by following categories)

1. achieving my body goal (this one)

Category n¹ :Physical Health & Wellness

1. Assess Where You Are Right Now— Start by taking a look at your current habits and your overall health. What’s working for you? What areas can you improve in? Maybe you need more sleep, a better diet, or more consistent exercise. Be honest with yourself about where you’re at.

2. Set Realistic, Achievable Goals— Make sure your goals are specific and achievable. Instead of saying "get fit," try something like "exercise 3 times a week for 30 minutes" or "eat 3 balanced meals a day." Small, actionable goals are more manageable and easier to stick with.

3. Focus on What Feels Right for You— Physical health isn’t just about pushing your body to the limits. It’s about what works for you. Choose exercise routines and foods that make you feel good, not just what looks good on paper. If you don’t like running, try something else like swimming or cycling. If you don’t love vegetables, explore creative ways to make them enjoyable.

4. Track Progress & Adjust— Keep track of your progress, whether through journaling, an app, or simply by checking in with how you feel. If something isn’t working for you, adjust it. Maybe you need more rest or a different workout routine. Listen to your body.

5. Make It a Habit— Consistency is key. Set a routine that you can realistically stick to. It might take time to make these changes feel like a part of your everyday life, but consistency will make it happen. Don’t forget to celebrate small wins along the way to keep yourself motivated.

2. Start getting better grades and studying more

Category n² : Academic excellence

1. Reflect on Your Current Academic Standing— Start by evaluating where you stand academically. What subjects do you need to focus on most? What were your strengths last year? Understanding where you’re at gives you a clearer picture of what to work on in 2025.

2. Set Clear and Measurable Goals— Be specific about your goals. Instead of just saying “do better in school,” break it down into measurable goals like “improve my grade in french by 10%” or “study 1 hour every day for history.” This gives you a clear direction.

3. Create a Study Plan— Organize your time wisely by creating a weekly study plan. Map out your schedule, making sure to balance schoolwork, revision, and breaks. This will help you stay on top of deadlines, assignments, and revision periods without feeling overwhelmed.

4. Focus on Active Learning— Don’t just aim for memorization—focus on understanding the material. Engage with your studies through active learning techniques like summarizing, teaching others, and practicing problems. This helps retain information better and makes your learning more meaningful.

5. Stay Consistent and Adjust When Needed— Consistency is key. Set aside time every day to study and stay organized with your notes. If something isn’t working, like a specific study method or subject area, don’t be afraid to adjust your approach. Keep refining your study techniques as you go along.

6. Celebrate Small Wins— Celebrate every academic achievement, no matter how small. Whether it’s acing a quiz or simply staying consistent with your study routine, recognizing these wins will keep you motivated and remind you that progress is being made.

3. create habits and add them to my daily routine (learning mandarine,15k steps daily, reading more interesting books)

Category n³ : Habits

1. Evaluate Your Current Habits— Start by looking at your current habits. What do you do every day? What habits are helping you, and which ones are holding you back? Be honest with yourself about the areas you want to improve.

2. Set Simple, Achievable Habits— Don’t overwhelm yourself with too many changes. Focus on a few simple habits that will have the most impact. Maybe it’s waking up 30 minutes earlier or drinking more water. Start with one or two small changes that are easy to implement and gradually build on them.

3. Create a Daily Routine— A consistent routine is the foundation of great habits. Set a schedule that allows you to prioritize your health, work, and personal growth. Structure your day to include time for rest, study, and self-care so that you don’t burn out.

4. Track Your Progress— Keep track of how well you’re sticking to your new habits. Whether you use a journal, an app, or simply a checklist, tracking helps you stay accountable and gives you a sense of accomplishment. If you miss a day, don’t get discouraged—just pick back up the next day.

5. Make Your Habits Enjoyable— For habits to stick, they need to feel rewarding. Make them something you enjoy. If you want to read more, pick books you’re genuinely excited about. If you want to exercise, try something fun, like dancing or hiking. When you enjoy it, you’re more likely to stick with it.

6. Be Patient & Stay Consistent— Habits take time to develop. Don’t expect immediate results—give yourself the space to grow and adjust. The more consistently you practice these habits, the more natural they’ll become. Progress will come over time, and each small step adds up.

7. Reflect & Adjust— Regularly check in with yourself to see how your habits are working for you. Are they helping you feel more productive, calm, or confident? If something’s not working, tweak it. Don’t be afraid to adjust as you grow.

3.devlopping my mindset mooore (I'm sensitive and over thinker typa of person like a loooot)

Category n⁴ : mindset and self-love

idk but girlsssss we should talk more Abt this topic out loud Our mindset shapes everything—our actions, relationships, and success. So this year, we’re cutting out the things and people that no longer serve us, like toxic friendships or self-doubt. When we love ourselves, we don’t settle for less than we deserve. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about setting standards for ourselves and others. You know the type of girl I’m talking about— (to cut) the one who’s always got something to say about other people’s appearance, or how they’re living their life. “You look bad today,” “I hate your hairstyle,” or “Why are you wearing that?” It’s always some backhanded comment that makes you feel small. But let’s be real for a second—like girl WHAT THE FXK .. People who spend all their time focusing on putting others down are usually just projecting their own insecurities. They want to feel better about themselves by making others feel worse. But here’s the thing: we’re not going to entertain that energy. When someone tries to tear you down, it’s a reflection of their own lack of self-love or understanding.Instead of responding to their negativity, we need to rise above. The best revenge? Living your best life and shining even brighter when they expect you to dim. Those types of girls who always have something to say about others' looks, outfits, or choices—they’re just distracted by their own insecurities. If they spent half the energy they put into criticizing others into building themselves up, they’d be too busy focusing on their own glow-up.So when someone throws shade, just remember: it says more about them than it does about you. You don’t need to let their words define you or affect your self-worth. Keep doing you, because your energy is too valuable to waste on people who can’t even recognize their own flaws. And when it comes down to it, anyone who makes you feel like you’re not enough doesn’t deserve a place in your life. Keep your peace, stay focused on your growth, and trust that the right people will appreciate you for who you really are. U are a baddie

© bloomzone

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez | The Type To

Hongjoong

toothless smiles. you'll never get enough

knows every little fact about you. it's all stored in his head

but can't always figure out your mood, where he needs your help

picks your clothes or accessories sometimes

lets you do the same

more of the dating-inside kind of guy, but makes the most of when you do go out

if he's busy, he'll acknowledge you with a smile and then go back to work and forget you're there

because he likes to focus on one thing at a time

and when he's not busy he's all yours

but when he is busy and you decide to play naughty, he will focus on the task ahead- you.

and make you regret (in the best way) interfering with his work

which has become your thing now

calls you his 'muse' and def makes you feel like one

esp with the way he kisses you and makes you feel like a puddle

he really doesn't stop his hands from going anywhere he pleases

fav place might be at your hip

or fingers in your hair- might take a liking to tug your hair back to make you look at him at times

which is when he'll give you the most sultry look and tell you exactly what the events following will ensue of

def the type to hold you against the wall and move across the room while you make out

laughs between kisses oh goodness-

teases the fck out of you and makes you a whimpering mess

spends alllll his energy on you but still takes care of you after

bites-

the type to make you watch yourself too- like if you can see him taking you in some reflective surface or a mirror, all the better

and then you won't believe the filth that'll come out of his mouth (tho you love it when he mumbles dirty little things in your ears)

also has his soft moments, which are so intimate that sometimes you feel overwhelmed with love

and he'll constantly assure you he's here, here with you, forever :')

does the most meaningful things for you- brings you your fav food, reforms your clothes or accessories for you, paints with you, lets you try doing something with his music samples, etc etc

he's your captain

Seonghwa

pass you subtle glances from across the room

hold your hand and lead the way whenever you're out

make you walk on the inside of the sidewalk

mother you in every way-- wiping your mouth with his sleeve, fix your hair, fix your clothes, fix you

scold you in the most loving tone possible

which makes you wonder if you're actually getting scolded because you start to get heart eyes

never make you feel insecure- it hurts him more than it hurts you

details. details in everything he says and does (flashbacks to his fav colour being 'glossy silver chrome' like who are you i don't know you-)

which means your dates are detailed asf. he'll have everything planned out and make sure you have the best time

but also love it when you take him out on impromptu dates

scans your face before he kisses you

forehead kisses. temple kisses. it's his thing

plays with you a lot (take your mind out of the gutter i'm talking about actual games like the board games or whatever)

but also plays with you a lot- *coughs*

tongue.

also his fingers are kinda long so-

will pick you up in the middle of your makeout session and take you somewhere more comfortable

goes hard, but it takes him a millisecond to turn soft

and he's the best softie ever.

he's gonna take his sweet time exploring every nook and cranny of your body, learning everything about you

learning what you like

and you'll most of the times feel like it's your first time all over again- that's def how he makes it feel like

tho he certainly spices things up every time

it's just he makes you feel so safe and loved

also i feel like you both bring out the playfulness in each other, in both romantic and platonic ways

he's such a romantic.

he's also capable of driving you insane with his facial expressions alone

takes care of you when you're tired, makes sure you're good, tucks you into bed, spoons you, lulls you to sleep :')

Yunho

okay hear me out-

he is literally your best friend

and i mean in the way best friends know each other inside out

and the way they know exactly how you're feeling by just glancing at you

so with yunho, you always feel safe. his constant vocal and physical reassurances keep you grounded at all times

so you wish to do something in return for him-

but he assures you that you, just like this, are enough

he's not hard to please in that way. he's not demanding but he's not making you feel like he's not interested in you either. he's got that perfect balance

the most comfortable presence out there is what i'm saying

(maybe this^ was my delulu thoughts ok now to the real shit-)

he's always looking at you to make sure you're okay, or there,

but sometimes, something turns him on and his eyes change

and he really, really can't hide when he's turned on. he starts picking at his lips while giving you the most sultry gaze

sometimes you pretend not to notice

which is when he becomes unexpectedly playful and teasing

he knows what his hands on your body do to you (turn you into jelly is what they do btw)

so he's going to give you a backhug and while he kisses your neck or ear, he's going to let his hands travel all over your body

or when sitting on his lap, he'll let them rest on your thighs- purposefully

and we all know what purpose those long fingers could serve

he's def the type who'll cuddle into you while lovemaking- like bury his face in your neck, in the crooks. you think that's soft? he can make it a hard moment too.

groans into your ears 100 % and that sound might be one of the hottest things you've heard

and when he mumbles things in your ears? his voice goes new levels of deep you never heard before.

kisses you like you'll break

also loves pinning you to surfaces

fully capable of manhandling you (lovingly, ofc)

likes experimenting a lot with you, figuring out what you like and what you don't like together

big spoon most of the times you bet

jokes around a lot with you too- he never makes you feel overwhelmed in any situation

but he is also fully capable of driving you insane at times *coughs*

best caretaker you know it

Yeosang

i'm having a vision- what starts as savage remarks thrown at each other turns into a challenge, turns into another different sort of challenge

we'll get there later

cafe dates. chocolates. you better be ready to satisfy his sweet tooth

you love complimenting him bc 9/10 times he's gonna respond with a shy smile that made you fall in love in the first place

he's usually teasing you bc that's his love language but is also the most genuine person you know

so whenever he compliments you or tells you how much he loves you, you know it's straight from the heart

holds your hand whenever he gets the chance

will kiss it too

shy kisses at first

until he gets turned on and his eyes change and the inner demon that we seen in halazia comes out oof

gentle kisses. demanding kisses. we-have-all-the-time-in-the-world kisses. i might be lacking in my vocabulary

hands cradling your face- that's what makes you weak

is pretty vocal and wants you to be vocal too when he does something new or even in routine

there's this switch in him- y'all be having a soft moment and his switch gets flipped and then he's just... banging. wild.

loves foreplay

might have a thing for placing his hand on your throat too i mean he has his moments

and he also lets you have your moments which is sth you love about him

i feel like he loves to drive you to the edge multiple times before he finally lets you have your way

which is hot asf

but is also so nervous about making sure you're okay, you're good with whatever he's doing

so he's gonna spoil you when he takes care of you, which might probably lead to a round two-

anyways time to touch some grass <3

San

this mf istg- *breathes*

okay he's such an eye candy do you think you'll be interested in anything else other than just staring at him 24/7 whenever you're with him-

let's not let these intrusive thoughts win and dive deeper :D

so yeah he is a nature admirer and when he takes you out, you do admire nature but you admire him more

esp the curves and edges of his face

and when he catches you, he gets shy. like actual shy

rewards you with a sweet kiss

and a good old hug

but sometimes, things get... heated instead

so he raises his eyebrow and goes sth like 'you done staring'?

and if you toss a sarcastic remark next (9.9/10 times you do), he'll just attack you

flirts with you in public

unintentional flirt most of the time

his kisses have a wide range spectrum. from being the most slow, gentle, i-might-break-you-if-i-hold-you-wrong kisses to hot, open-mouthed, i-am-going-to-break-you kisses (i cannot englishi-)

and he's really not shy in lovemaking. he knows what he's doing. he takes advantage of it

loves driving you to the edge too. will take so long to actually get to the real deal, just playing with you first and cornering you and driving you insane ugh

the type to pull you into his lap and make you straddle and ride him

tongue-

tbh i feel like it can get really filthy with him in the best way possible

but also, he's the softest when he's in the mood

and you love that he can switch

the type to shut you up with a kiss

also the type to hold you by your chin and have a staredown with you whenever you tease him

which just leads to other things-

hugs

lots and lots of hugs. hugs of every kind.

his laugh heals you :(

he'll always tell you he's there for you, he loves you, how imp you are to him :(

pocket sized hehe

Mingi

he's a princess so he deserves princess treatment. the end.

no but he's such an unfiltered personality i feel like in the sense that it just shows what he wants

you can see it in his eyes when he wants a hug, when he wants to leave some place, or when he wants to steal the last bite of your food-

also very good at reading you even if you argue that you're not that readable

to him you will be bc he pays attention to every little detail

the kind to throw his arm around you while you walk

bonus if it's winters and he wraps you in his coat

the type to tie a scarf around your neck and then pull you with it and give you a kiss

his kisses are the meaningful sort. you can tell by his kiss what mood he's in

like if he's slow and he sighs in between, he's probably feeling down. if he's gonna act naughty you'll know what he wants

which makes it easier for you to lead things

lets you lead most of the time too

unless he's feeling some type of way

and when he's feeling that type of way, you're in for a banger (pun intended maybe)

i feel like he's really good with his core strength even when dancing so uhh just go ahead and imagine

fingers. (getting shy at this point)

probably gives the best head

like can you imagine the tip of his nose brushing at the your most sensitive parts-

likes when you run your hands through his hair

likes to tug your hair even more

might have a marking kink like he'll like it when he can see what he's done to you

but he's also the most responsive and comfortable during intimacy

and can go on forever, makes you feel like you can go on forever with him

cuddles with you when you're done, cuddles long and good

will shower with you and 9 out of 10 times that means a second round-

softie. absolute softie at times ;-;

Wooyoung

you both love to drive each other insane. you'll fight a lot at most random things, end up laughing in the middle of an argument, tease tf out of each other

but at the end of the day there's no one you'd rather be with

he feeds you like his life depends on it

which means he'll make you food, he'll get you to try different things when you go out, and he just likes it when you're happy with food

takes care of you subconsciously- like wiping your mouth, fixing your clothes, rolling your sleeves when you're eating, etc- he doesn't do it on purpose, it's ingrained in him to take care of you

intentional flirt.

which means he makes you flushed with embarrassment in public

he knows how to rile you up, and oh, when you're riled up-

you know you'll go home all heated up which will def result in a hot makeout session

he's not shy to show you how much he likes it when you're making out so he's very vocal

and we all know about his degradation kink LMAO he loves it when you show him his place in the middle of making out

and you love it when he begs for you to do sth

but he's also very, very good at making you beg, oh, he'll push to to the edge and make you fucking cry before he gives you what you want

his hands everywhere on your body.

mumbles things in your ears, dirty things

and then bites you earlobe

you just love it when he breaks away in the middle of making out and pushes your hair back, all the while scanning your face as if making sure you're real before smiling the purest smile ever :(

and when he evil smiles? you know you're in for a ride quite literally

switches most of the time

satisfies you in ways you didn't know were possible

quite possibly plays a lot with you- might have a thing for tied wrists (his or yours, whatever you're feeling like)

keeps telling you how beautiful, how perfect you are, and when he says it? you never feel like he's lying. you start to believe it

boosts your confidence 10000x

honestly he has a contagious energy so you kinda sometimes turn into wooyoung too and he just 🧍

aftercare is a whole new level with him

hugs you to sleep <3

Jongho

he sings for you. what more do you want? :')

you'll have to hide apples from him tho LOL

being with him is very comfortable and... peaceful. like he brings out the calm in you

tho when he cracks a dad joke you start to reconsider-

but he's adorable

slaps your butt at the most random times

and then giggles before he runs away

gives you backhugs at the most random times too

likes to peck your cheeks while you're sitting in his lap watching sth with him

which sometimes makes you kiss him

usually starts slow but there's a certain sense of urgency behind that kiss sometimes

which makes it into a heated makeout session

stares into your soul when he breaks away to catch his breath

dry humping follows

likes seeing exactly what his actions make you feel like

shy at first but he's also confident asf

and he's... strong

it just drives you crazy when he pins you as he thrusts into you like there's no way you can break free from that

and why would you? ;)

has a thing for necks i've said it before i'll say it now

and he knows exactly how to please you

which means that when he's in the mood, he's gonna drive you to the edge multiple times before letting you have what you want

sometimes lets you do the same to him

he loves it when you're on top of him and ride him. perfect place for him to hold your butt and squeeze it

really good at aftercare, makes sure you're feeling good too

bear hugs after. cuddles

kisses you multiple times before settling down

sings you to sleep :( (i'll always end jongho imagines with this line)