#florida statehumans

[cafecubano]

Silly floridian

[rocketfear357]

Some statehumans cause I got nothing else ahhh....

[uknwnnmr]

I wasn't planning to do Inktober but then my friend started and I decided to do it too and then the entire group started, this was a chain reaction

Anyways here are first 5 days of Inktober

Doing it with USA's kids (after marriage with Ottoman) and special guests every 5 days

[chaoticprussia]

this man is wanted in 49 states.

[xertel]

contributing to the statehumans content by posting an ungodly amount of ny and florida doodles

[justskulkingaround]

Unfinished outfits lol

@collar-cat

Figured you’d be interested :)))))))

[weirdestbooks]

Florida Occidental (Wattpad | Ao3 | CH HHM Oneshots)

Florida knew he should be more upset about becoming a British colony—about being taken away from his family and shoved into an environment in which he knew nobody.

Sure, Santiago had become British, but that was long ago, and Florida was sure that his prior identity as Santiago had been all but erased from his mind.

He was happy to escape his Padre’s overbearing, perfectionist nature, the never-ending stream of insults and jeers towards the imperfections that made Florida the failure he was. 

He wondered if his Padre and Abuelo would even miss him. Surely, Padre would be happy that his children looked a little more perfect with Florida gone. He just hoped that Gran Bretaña would be kind to him, more accepting of Florida’s imperfections, or at least passing them off as a result of his Spanish heritage.

Although, based on how Gran Bretaña ignored Florida, focusing only on the French Colonies, it seemed that Florida might get off lighter and be looked at less closely as Gran Bretaña monitored the children of his most hated enemy.

Florida was often left alone, not yet ordered to bow at Gran Bretaña’s and forsake his family for the empire he was now a part of.

He realized why a few months after moving in.

He was ordered to Gran Bretaña’s room by the Thirteen Colonies, the colony that was supposed to be teaching him English. Florida had suddenly known it when the British took control, but now Thirteen Colonies mainly helped him by perfecting his grammar and getting rid of his accent, all flaws Gran Bretaña wouldn’t allow. 

After seeing what Gran Bretaña did to the colonies that annoyed him, Florida was eager to get rid of it. 

The pressure of perfection had returned. Although Thirteen Colonies was much kinder than Florida’s Padre had been. It was…it was nice.

But when Gran Bretaña ordered Florida to his office, Florida was scared about what that meant. Had he not been perfect enough? Had Gran Bretaña learned of Florida’s horrible imperfections from his Padre or Abuelo?

“Hello, señ—sir. You wanted to speak with me?” Florida asked, trying his best to focus on appearing normal and speaking English. 

“Yes, I did. I know we have not spoken much since your arrival, and I wanted to apologize for that. The French colonies and their disloyalties have kept me busy ensuring they understand where their loyalties now lie,” Gran Bretaña explained with an apologetic smile.

“I understand,” Florida answered. 

“And I thank you for that. I see your lessons with my son have been going well. It is nice to see you adapting so quickly. Now, I figured it was about time we established the relationship that would exist between us.” Gran Bretaña said. Florida was quick to bow his head, a habit long ingrained into him by his father.

“If you want to become my father, I am willing and ready to disown my Spanish family to become a true part of your empire,” Florida recited the lines he had come up with and practiced for ages with Thirteen Colonies to ensure that he said them correctly and, of course, perfectly.

“Thank you for your willingness, but I’m afraid I cannot accept that,” Gran Bretaña said. Florida froze, horror running through him. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Was Gran Bretaña planning on killing him?

“I accept your judgment,” Florida responded, trying to keep the fear from his voice. It didn’t work, as he could tell that Gran Bretaña had picked up on it.

“Do you think I’m going to kill you?” Gran Bretaña asked, sounding confused. Florida shrank in on himself.

“I understand why you would. I’m a—”

“Florida, you aren’t going to die. Trust me. Jamaica is…actually, I’m not sure if he’s your brother, but he was Spanish too, and he and I are close. I don’t want you to die. I believe that you can be a great addition to the empire. However, my government wishes to create a new colony from your preexisting land, and therefore…”

“Oh. We’re going to have a kid,” Florida realized. Gran Bretaña nodded.

“Yes. So I feel it is too awkward for you to call me father. However, if you feel it is beneficial to do a legal recognition, but not an emotional one, I can arrange that,” Gran Bretaña said.

“I would prefer not. I am loyal to you and only you, but I just do not want to…deal with complications from that,” Florida said. Gran Bretaña nodded.

“I understand completely. Now, I will call you back once I have fetched West Florida, who will be born sometime this week. Your new name will be East Florida, but you do not need to start using it until the new colony is born. I just wanted to give you an advance warning so you can start getting used to the name,” Gran Bretaña said, smiling again.

“Thank you,” Florida said, his voice tinged with relief. 

“You’re welcome. Thank you for being understandable. You are shaping up to be a good colony.” Gran Bretaña said.

Florida couldn’t help but smile. It was nice to know that he was wanted.

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Ah Ohio. Your spirit animal is a badger on methamphetamine

“If that’s me…” Ohio jabbed a finger in Florida’s general direction, “What kind of unholy creature in God’s green earth is he?”

[a-personiftranslator]

A Comprehensive List of Every Personif Thing I’ve Seen, Ever

-A lot of old books, like Common Sense by Thomas Paine, refer to OTJs with she/her. I love them dearly.

-Just google national personifications.

-Welcome to the Table. US Statespirits.

-Meanwhile in Australia. Australian Statespirits.

-Hetalia.

-Countryhumans.

-Scandinavia and the World.

-Paris Burning and associated universe. Cityspirits. I was majorly influenced by this.

-The Great Cities series by N.K. Jemisin, favorite books of all fucking time. The avatar terminology and style of personification fighting basically made it into my canon wholesale. Cityspirits and boroughspirits.

-Living Maps: An Atlas of Cities Personified. Haven’t got it yet but I really want it.

-The Bible, apparently. Cityspirits.

-@mur-art’s addition: Big Wayward Girl. Statespirits. California.

-This old-ass poem has Paris talking. There were a bunch like it, but I couldn’t find translations. I owe my life to JSTOR, and my fountain pens.

-Centricide. Political personifs.

-Polandball/Countryballs.

-Socialstuck, Fandomstuck, and Socialstuck Cloutchase.

-Purge the Poison by MARINA. Mother Nature dissing humanity for climate change in two minutes.

-I Am California by John Craigie.

-@mur-art’s addition: some Statehumans comics.

-@mur-art’s personif playlist

-@mur-art’s addition: Florida’s state song (I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS THING ALREADY OMG)

-@bread--quest’s addition: Sedona by Houndsmouth

-@milokissa707’s addition: Canadian provinces as roommates

-There are a bunch of things on quora; just search something related.

-Nico’s Proposal describes the Administrator like the personif of the Foundation.

-Fall Witness, Part 2. Autumn Court Fae create an artificial personif of the O4 Council. Vanguard tale <3

-SCP-1761. This thing got me into the SCP Wiki in the first place.

-SCP-5513. I do not have words.

[cafecubano]

lowkey serving cunt ngl

[universalcowboyclown2006]

Florida's relationship with his family (aka: the ex colonies of the spanish empire and Spain):

(old post that was on the drafts)

I wanted to do this since I knew that Florida used to be a spanish colony (and it was when I was on the countryhumans and statehumans fandom and the pandemic).

Well, let's just say that Florida's existence usually is forgotten by his "siblings" (sorry for that, Flo) because he's mostly perceived as an inmature, kept, dyslexic and having a younger brother's attitude mostly of the time. Otherwise, Florida also doesn't have a close relationship with them besides Cuba, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and mostly all the caribean countries because of the distance and diplomatic stuff due his "siblings" are all or almost all independent countries with their issues and governments.

When Florida was a colony, he was neglected but not too much thanks to Mexico (yes, here Mexico is kinda nice but also had to mature fast to help to look after his "siblings" and end up with a generational trauma which Texas end up being a victim too), Cuba and Puerto Rico but yet neglected by Spain; usually passing his time playing alone and talking with gators. That made on him a more reserved and "calm" personality (he stills being hyperactive), submissive to Spain and loving her as his mom (thing that Spain TOTALLY doesn't deserve) no mattering what; in actual terms could be he was afraid of her abandoning and/or hurting him.

When the rise of independence in latinoamerica started, he felt he was being set aside by everyone in his family (Also Philippines and Guam felt the same as Florida but they were used to it), so he decided to do the same; get independence from Spain. He got a little help from Venezuela (West Florida Republic reference) but Spain didn't accept it in right terms and after the try of independence from Florida but before she sell him to the US, she punish him and...

???

The rest is unknown because...

Florida doesn't like to talk about it and possibly forgot it.

So...

He has mommy issues (daddy issues if you see Spain as a man)? Yes

And the rest of spanish colonies too (including my country of course)? Yes

And also, he has abandonment issues by the way because... Being honest, some colonies didn't give a shit if Florida existed or not or if he was dead or alive (that also includes my country, sorry), they were minding their own bussines and even didn't know his existence.

But they've known what punishment did Spain to him but they don't talk about it because for them it was traumatic to know and see the consequences of the punishment for Florida

[abandonment-is-my-story]

Florida: *walks up to Virginia and whispers*

I know

*walks away*

Virginia: *mildly confused*

Ok…? About what may I ask?

[bishopknight0517]

Experiment and Experience

Florida lights up a firecracker

Florida: hmmm… I wonder…

Florida closes his hand and the firecracker goes off

Florida *chuckling at the mess he just made* : haha… firecracker, go boom

Florida’s head starts to swim, his vision also starts to blur, and he begins to stumble. He just lost most of his hand and is currently losing blood

Florida: I should probably go to the hospital…

[0jiro]

hes a hapi boi

[xertel]

[muffin-ch]

america: i think florida has rabies.

canada: what makes you say that?

america: uuhhh..

//flashback to last night\\

america, kicking down the door: WHY ARE YOU ALL SCREAM-

florida, foaming at the mouth: *tosses alaska across the room like a ragdoll*

america: whHAT THE FUCK-

//end of flashback\\

america: i have my reasons.