#florida gender fluid

[gayinflorida]

Being Gay in Florida

hi tumblr. i’m gay and gender fluid in florida and still here.

[thebookewyrme]

Transgender Day of Visibility

Today's post for #TransgenderDayofVisibility is very personal. It's some of my story as a nonbinary individual.

Today is International Transgender Day of Visibility. This is my first TDOV as a trans community member, though I’ve been marking the day at home and at work for years. Those times were for boosting other folks though. This year it feels like my turn to stand up and say “See Me for who I am, as a whole person, not a caricature.” TDOV is celebrated every year on March 31st for the past decade to…

[batboyblog]

One woman miscarried in the lobby restroom of a Texas emergency room as front desk staff refused to admit her. Another woman learned that her fetus had no heartbeat at a Florida hospital, the day after a security guard turned her away from the facility. And in North Carolina, a woman gave birth in a car after an emergency room couldn’t offer an ultrasound. The baby later died.

Complaints that pregnant women were turned away from U.S. emergency rooms spiked in 2022 after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, federal documents obtained by The Associated Press reveal. 

-------

It’s happened despite federal mandates that the women be treated. 

Federal law requires emergency rooms to treat or stabilize patients who are in active labor and provide a medical transfer to another hospital if they don’t have the staff or resources to treat them. Medical facilities must comply with the law if they accept Medicare funding.

The Supreme Court will hear arguments Wednesday that could weaken those protections. The Biden administration has sued Idaho over its abortion ban, even in medical emergencies, arguing it conflicts with the federal law.

“No woman should be denied the care she needs,” Jennifer Klein, director of the White House Gender Policy Council, said in a statement. “All patients, including women who are experiencing pregnancy-related emergencies, should have access to emergency medical care required under the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act.”

PREGNANCY CARE AFTER ROE

Pregnant patients have “become radioactive to emergency departments” in states with extreme abortion restrictions, said Sara Rosenbaum, a George Washington University health law and policy professor. 

“They are so scared of a pregnant patient, that the emergency medicine staff won’t even look. They just want these people gone,” Rosenbaum said. 

Consider what happened to a woman who was nine months pregnant and having contractions when she arrived at the Falls Community Hospital in Marlin, Texas, in July 2022, a week after the Supreme Court’s ruling on abortion. The doctor on duty refused to see her.

“The physician came to the triage desk and told the patient that we did not have obstetric services or capabilities,” hospital staff told federal investigators during interviews, according to documents. “The nursing staff informed the physician that we could test her for the presence of amniotic fluid. However, the physician adamantly recommended the patient drive to a Waco hospital.”

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Federal investigators looked into just over a dozen pregnancy-related complaints in those states during the months leading up to the U.S. Supreme Court’s pivotal ruling on abortion in 2022. But more than two dozen complaints about emergency pregnancy care were lodged in the months after the decision was unveiled. It is not known how many complaints were filed last year as the records request only asked for 2022 complaints and the information is not publicly available otherwise. 

------

‘SHE IS BLEEDING A LOT’

Other pregnancies ended in catastrophe, the documents show.

At Sacred Heart Emergency Center in Houston, front desk staff refused to check in one woman after her husband asked for help delivering her baby that September. She miscarried in a restroom toilet in the emergency room lobby while her husband called 911 for help.

“She is bleeding a lot and had a miscarriage,” the husband told first responders in his call, which was transcribed from Spanish in federal documents. “I’m here at the hospital but they told us they can’t help us because we are not their client.”

Emergency crews, who arrived 20 minutes later and transferred the woman to a hospital, appeared confused over the staff’s refusal to help the woman, according to 911 call transcripts.

One first responder told federal investigators that when a Sacred Heart Emergency Center staffer was asked about the gestational age of the fetus, the staffer replied: “No, we can’t tell you, she is not our patient. That’s why you are here.”

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Meanwhile, the staff at Person Memorial Hospital in Roxboro, North Carolina, told a pregnant woman, who was complaining of stomach pain, that they would not be able to provide her with an ultrasound. The staff failed to tell her how risky it could be for her to depart without being stabilized, according to federal investigators. While en route to another hospital 45 minutes away, the woman gave birth in a car to a baby who did not survive. 

In Melbourne, Florida, a security guard at Holmes Regional Medical Center refused to let a pregnant woman into the triage area because she had brought a child with her. When the patient came back the next day, medical staff were unable to locate a fetal heartbeat. The center declined to comment on the case. 

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For Huntsberger, the OB-GYN, EMTALA was one of the few ways she felt protected to treat pregnant patients in Idaho, despite the state’s abortion ban. She left Idaho last year to practice in Oregon because of the ban.

The threat of fines or loss of Medicare funding for violating EMTALA is a big deterrent that keeps hospitals from dumping patients, she said. Many couldn’t keep their doors open if they lost Medicare funding. 

She has been waiting to see how HHS penalizes two hospitals in Missouri and Kansas that HHS announced last year it was investigating after a pregnant woman, who was in preterm labor at 17 weeks, was denied an abortion. 

-----------

President Joe Biden and top U.S. health official Xavier Becerra have both publicly vowed vigilance in enforcing the law. 

Even as states have enacted strict abortion laws, the White House has argued that if hospitals receive Medicare funds they must provide stabilizing care, including abortions.

In a statement to THE AP, Becerra called it the “nation’s bedrock law protecting Americans’ right to life- and health-saving emergency medical care.” 

“And doctors, not politicians, should determine what constitutes emergency care,” he added.

Idaho’s law does not allow abortions if a mother’s health is at risk. But the state’s attorney general has argued that its abortion ban is “consistent” with federal law, which calls for emergency rooms to protect an unborn child in medical emergencies.

“The Biden administration has no business rewriting federal law to override Idaho’s law and force doctors to perform abortions,” Idaho Attorney General Raúl Labrador said in a statement earlier this year. 

Now, the Supreme Court will weigh in. The case could have implications in other states like Arizona, which is reinstating an 1864 law that bans all abortions, with an exception only if the mother’s life is at risk. 

EMTALA was initially introduced decades ago because private hospitals would dump patients on county or state hospitals, often because they didn’t have insurance, said Alexa Kolbi-Molinas of the American Civil Liberties Union. 

Some hospitals also refused to see pregnant women when they did not have an established relationship with physicians on staff. If the court nullifies or weakens those protections, it could result in more hospitals turning away patients without fear of penalty from the federal government, she said.

“The government knows there’s a problem and is investigating and is doing something about that,” Kolbi-Molinas said. “Without EMTALA, they wouldn’t be able to do that.”

--------------

The Repeal of Roe V Wade has been a disaster for pregnancy health care, with doctors turning away pregnant women just because they are pregnant out of fear that treatment might violate ever changing extreme and unscientific abortion bans

The Biden Administration's strong stand that EMTALA does cover emergency abortion care has forced hospitals to keep their doors open to people in need. A Republican administration would not enforce the law this way, Donald Trump has already said he'd leave it up to the states and certainly would drop the Biden Administration's law suit against Idaho's restrictive laws.

as horrible as all this is, it can always get worse, this is a preview of what a national Republican Abortion ban would mean for every pregnant person going to the hospital, you or someone you love could be left bleeding in a waiting room.

[unluckyshinyhunter]

you’ve seen florida men and california girls get ready for hawaii non binaries

new jersey gender fluids are next

[idlingintheimpalapodcast]

New Episode Alert: (Gently) Taking Authors To Task - Sam_Is_My_Safe_Word’s “Scents of Home”

Weeeee did a thing!!

@sam-is-my-safe-word, @talltalesandbedtimestories & @runawaydr3amerao3 lost our collective minds in March & signed up for the @wincestbigbang (It's Kasey's fault. Blame them. Dreamer has receipts.)

But now the bang is over, the stories have been posted, and we're breaking down the experience.

Second up is Kasey with the longest thing they've ever written in one go. Scents of Home is a look at love through the lens of scents & smells, gender identity issues, mental breakdowns and really hot sex. Like seriously. It takes you on a rollercoaster but it always comes back to love.

Read Kasey's Fic Listen on Spotify Watch on Youtube:

Timestamps

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:00 - How Kasey, Dreamer, and Sandra got into the 2024 Wincest Big Bang

00:04:05 - This is Kasey’s first Big Bang

00:06:21 - What drew Kasey to the challenge?

00:14:06 - Where did the story idea for Scents of Home originate?

00:23:50 - Scents of Home summary

00:38:30 - What were some scenes Kasey wanted to write?

00:51:30 - Dean cries a lot in this fic

00:53:45 - Kasey had to cut some of the smut for… reasons

00:56:10 - The story shift and the Jacksonville, Florida event

00:58:30 - Stumbling on Poughkeepsie and finding a case for the boys

01:10:15 - How Kasey made scents of the story

01:12:15 - The happy ending and what ifs of Home

01:13:40 - The evolution of Vanilla

01:15:00 - Did the story end up the way Kasey had first envisioned?

01:24:50 - The gender fluid of it all

01:33:40 - What would Kasey have changed if there weren’t specific story points Dreamer wanted them to hit?

01:49:55 - How irritated is Kasey about having to post the entire fic in one go?

01:50:30 - Kasey’s thoughts about the Bang process and schedule

01:54:10 - Kasey’s artist partner, malefantasy

01:56:30 - The possibility of art in Scents of Home

02:02:40 - Going back to the original story idea at some point

02:05:25 - Apologies for Junkies

02:07:03 - Would Kasey do another Big Bang?

02:12:00 - Final thoughts and outro

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey! A trans minor here. I want to ask how should I proceed as a trans minor in Florida? I can’t move and my mother doesn’t take me being trans seriously. She says she supportive but I don’t think she is. I’m worried about all these bills coming into place and how they will affect me. I’m a FTgender fluid. Do you have any advice? Also, I play the flute :) it’s nice to see trans instrument players

Ayyy, trans orchestra forming!

So, I won't insult your intelligence by pretending things aren't about to get bad. But maybe I can help you understand the risks and how to keep yourself safe and sane.

An assumption: I don't know if you want to pursue physical transition and that is a convo 100% between you, your mom, and your healthcare providers, so I'm providing it as a neutral option for information purposes.

Also: The bills I mentioned have not passed yet, but they are sitting on the governor's desk. He will most likely sign them, meaning they'll take effect July 1, 2023.

Staying with your family

SB254 is the bill that affects you the most. It's the "kidnapping" bill. Yeah. :/

I don't know what your family situation is like, but if you have family members who oppose your mother's even lukewarm support, that could be enough for the state to remove you from her custody and turn you over to them. It would be up to you and your mom to figure out how to avoid/appease these family members so they don't think you are "at risk" of physical transition.

Gender-affirming care

SB254 also completely locks you out of puberty blockers, HRT, and surgery (the latter 2 in the past are sometimes pursued by older youth with parental consent) in this state. If you want to pursue any of this care, talk with your mother about getting it in another state. You will have to physically travel, because telemed for gender affirming care is also being banned due to new consent form requirements.

Once you are 18, you can pursue physical transition, if that's something you're interested in, but be aware that there are soon going to be so many obstacles to adult care, that it might as well be a transition ban for everyone. But if you're close to 18 and think HRT is for you, review the map for informed consent care. But be prepared for a long search and your insurance not covering things.

That said, if you need a therapist now, I think you may still be good here. Be very careful that you don't end up with someone who wants to use conversion therapy tactics -- these are typically going to be religious-based providers. Talking with other trans kids in your town might help you find a good provider.

Remember, if you don't like a therapist, you can stop going to them; shop around for one that makes you feel safe and makes you feel like they help you with the stress in your life.

Bathroom ban

HB 1521 does a few things:

Bans multi-stall gender neutral bathrooms (single stall is fine)

Requires schools to have bathroom policies

Empowers cis people to confront trans folks in a govt owned/leased bathroom/changing room and force them to leave, otherwise they are subject to a fine and/or jail

This is effectively a bounty bill. Examples of bathrooms where this bill will apply include schools, airports, stadiums, courthouses, etc. It isn't every public bathroom, but it is a lot.

People who are gender nonconforming or are being stalked/harassed by cis folks who know their trans status are most at risk here.

It is up to you how much you want to weigh your self-expression against your physical safety.

As a minor, you don't have a lot of rights, so I advise you choose your battles carefully and always have trusted adults to have your back. Being FTGenderfluid, a lot of how you dress might fly under the radar, but I'd avoid being too heavily masc for now.

Keeping safe & sane

Unfortunately, a lot of support you'd normally find at school is going to be unavailable from now on. But some ways to lessen your stress:

Get a job (if you are old enough). I know, I know, but money makes a lot of life easier, from buying little treats now to stockpiling for things you may want once you turn 18.

Be honest with the reality that you might have to be in the closet a lot, and brainstorm safe outlets for your gender expression. I know at your age, I dressed how I wanted at home and used roleplaying games to explore and express my gender.

Hang out with queer youth, especially in person. You might have a local organization that has events and support groups. It helps a lot to share your feelings with other kids going through the same.

Start following trans political commentators. Erin is a good follow on Substack - she makes it easy to understand all the legal stuff going on.

Consume happy queer stories, by queer authors. It will help counter all the doom scolling. I've been watching Dead End: Paranormal Park (it is a comic and a show), which features a trans masc protagonist.

Cultivate your relationship with your mom. Gently, but firmly set boundaries with her if she gives you guff for, I dunno, wearing boys jeans or whatever. But also be aware she probably has a lot of misinformation about trans people, so you will need to gently pick that apart and see how you can educate her. Trusted adults she also trusts can also help you here.

Build your network. The friends your age you make today could be roommates or coworkers tomorrow. Be social, it will also be good for your mental health.

Be kind to yourself. Things look bleak, but there are states in the US that are actually strengthening trans rights. There continue to be options, you just might need to spend time and resources achieving them.

I hope that helps, and a big hug from a trans adult who grew up in the closet. <3

[iwasforcedtomakethisbytum]

hello noomf who i think is cool. nonbinary florida. they are too chaotic for one gender. thoughts? :3c

Yeah honestly i think them being either gender fluid or agender makes sense

Or he could identify as cis but just really really not give any shits about his gender to the point he'll wear whatever and accept whatever pronouns

Also this made me think of an idea i had last night, long hair Florida

Oh dear Lord i hope he takes care of his hair (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

[mellimagicsblog]

"Yes, it could even happen to YOU!" - Friend Owl (Disney's Bambi)

I think most modern viewers of Bambi don't watch past the scene where the mother dies, which is a shame, because once Bambi grows up, the story gets a lot more action and humor (unlike the book, which just gets bleaker and trippier). I talk to so many people who have no idea whether Bambi, Thumper, and Flower are males or females, but does that really matter -at least for Flower?

With a film that has such little dialogue, it's not surprising that Flower never refers to themself besides "I," and that those times Flower is assigned, it's only by other characters. With the "dandy" role that is not seen in contemporary films and Flower's natural non-binary color scheme, they still make a great gender fluid/n-pal Disney character. It's also funny that Flower is the first to get "twitterpated" while being such a queer icon. (Flower's mate is named Petunia, by the way)

Oh dear, I've said gay. Guess Florida will have to ban Bambi soon. I'm sure that'll go as well for them as it did for Germany when they tried it. 😘

Non-binary colors = 💛🤍💜🖤

Genderfluid colors = 💗🤍💜🖤💙

[guardian-of-fun-times]

❄️Toxic Cosplayers: Frostplay❄️

This is going to be a long-ass post, so get comfortable with your favorite drink and a snack. As for me, the tea is hot and I'm ready to spill.

If you don't already know, this is Juliette, better known as Jacoby or Frostplay online. A band enthusiast, cosplayer, influencer, public figure, suicide prevention advocate, and YouTuber hailing from Southern California.

When I first saw Juliette, I assumed they were either Genderfluid or Trans in which they never stated until they made the post: "I'm a Girl!" after an Instagram account "exposed" her for wearing a binder. The account no longer exists because it was reported and deactivated.

I met Juliette at Anime Los Angeles years ago and she was very standoffish and rude to me seeing that I was also cosplaying the same character. I saw her again at ALA as Jack Frost and she asked me what happened to my leg noticing that I was in a knee brace and carried a crutch to lean on while I had my staff in my other hand.

She wasn’t well-liked in the Jelsa community circa 2013-2015 because she used to fail to credit artists. I never really paid attention to their work because of that, and some things she did… she came across at times as if she thought she was actually Jack Frost, and therefore the authority. It was just a different vibe to others who can have fun but, end of the day you know they know they aren't Jack Frost or any other character.

Her YouTube seemed to have some blurred lines where they thought they were THE Jack Frost. There’s a difference between playing the part at a cosplay convention, or for kids, but end of the day, even the Disney face characters know they aren’t actually Cinderella or something.

Another thing that disappointed me. How can you cosplay Jack Frost and ignore children? That’s such a big part of him. He’s the one who gets the Guardians to reconnect with the kids. Jackson was entertaining the kids. Jack was there for the kids well before he was a guardian.

You might know, that Frostplay went to Disney and dressed as Jack to get those photos and videos with the Elsa face character. Disney face characters have to feign ignorance of things outside of their Disney universe, so putting her in a rough position and potentially causing issues for her at work -- all for internet clout.

So, the stuff about Juliette and the Elsa cosplayers is the tip of the iceberg. She went full Q Anon. She "came out" as cisgender and straight in an emotional video. She was pretending to be in love with them for about five years, so it's a whole fucked up thing.

For a while, it was clear that her whole thing with Jack was some sort of coping mechanism for insecurity about who she was. She threw herself into the character so much that she dated two people at the time, both were Elsa cosplayers. So, it wasn't just one. She broke hearts and pushed people away.

There was a girl named Sofie before Alison. Sofie was from Florida and flew out here a time or two. I still think Juliette will one day accept that she's gender fluid or trans. Plus I know someone who told me that she once used a pseudo penis as a vessel to urinate through, sometimes. So, that adds to it. She's from a conservative area and that definitely influenced her. As for her being rude: she seemed to start gatekeeping the character.

She got awfully jealous and upset that GuardianFrosty on Instagram had taken inspiration from her Royal Jack Frost cosplay. He was literally was driven off Instagram and deactivated his account a few years ago for months because of Frostplay and their friends/followers since they kept sending hate, and death threats if he ever showed up at any California convention.

Claiming a character is childish behavior. Cosplay who you want, when you want. If other people have issues, let that trash take itself out.

[weirdoonskateboard]

More than anything from GTA VI, I want it to make me cry. I want it to be emotional, to be warm and humane even under all the cynical humor and innuendos and snide jabs about our culture. Rockstar has said in interviews that they don't want to punch down with their satire. They even removed a transphobic random encounter in the current gen versions of GTA 5. Also imagine his gta could work in representation in the game.

Imagine if we got a drag bar with IRL Florida drag queens. They gave Non-Binary pop artist Arca a radio station for gta online called Motomami(With Latin pop star Rosalia,great music set by the way, IT FUCKING SLAPS, I'LL REBLOG IT). Imagine maybe giving Lucia and Jason the opportunity to be more openly romantic. Remember Bully let you kiss boys, Jimmy Hopkins is canonically bisexual. I know people who were introduced to being bi through this game. And while GTA 4: The Ballad of Gay Tony evidently a bunch of straight guys idea of what queer culture is. It's still nice to sorta be seen by the series. And the characters that are openly homophobic are the antagonists you have to work with to deal with the club's debt.

Plus I have seen queer characters in these games being positively seen. Two character Bernie Crane in GTA 4, Reni Wassulmier in Liberty City and Vice City Stories are iffy depictions of queer people. Reni Claims to be "A little bit of everything, I'm universal" who is canonically gender fluid. I know people who resonate with these characters. There are a lot of good fan artists on tumblr who love Bernie. Also there's a shit ton of Luis Lopez X "Gay Tony" Prince.

There are spouts of Transphobia in the games, admittedly. There's a really bad radio as in San Andreas IYKYK. GTA is to many generations, their Mad Magazine. The edgy rebellious piece of art you know your parents didn't want you playing. They could be juvenile, clunky, gross, or just too edgy for its own good. But it introduced a lot of people to good music, films, shows, and subcultures)

I believe Rockstar has it in them to do better. To mature. To keep being the center of attention, to keep fighting the tainted ads and broken promises of the American Dream. To be heartfelt and show that even amidst the pain and suffering of living in America. That people find ways to keep fighting in the bizarre state of America right now. Maybe I'm too forgiving too these games due to nostalgia but I do believe that there is an art to these games.

PS, The Criminal Historian, the person who made the trans rep video has recently come out and is getting a lot of transphobic hate. If you could all counter that it would be greaaat.

[tomorrowusa]

Hitler burned books. Florida's Ron DeSantis saves on lighter fluid by just tossing books into the dumpster.

Specifically, DeSanctimonius (as Weird Donald calls him) had state run New College of Florida (NCF) throw out thousands of LGBTQ+ books. The "don't say gay" governor continues his homophobic rampage of state censorship.

Thousands of books were dumped into the trash by the New College of Florida in Sarasota, including the library for the defunct Gender and Diversity Center inside the Hamilton building for student services. That has some students outraged over why it would throw away books they say could have been donated, a move that is part of a year-long transformation for the small public college in Governor Ron DeSantis’s “war on woke.” Last October, the school said it was getting rid of its gender studies department. Thursday, the school cleared out the Gender and Diversity Center, or GDC, tossing decades of accumulated books. Incoming senior Natalia Benavides couldn’t believe her eyes when stacks of books were tossed into a large dumpster outside NCF’s library. “I saw that dumpster full of books from the library,” she says. “And I said, ‘This is horrendous.’ Plenty of people could re-home those books and take care of them, and they're just sitting there.” New College says most of the books were from its library and were tossed because they are no longer serving the needs of the college, adding “gender studies has been discontinued as an area of concentration at New College and the books are not part of any official college collection or inventory.” Some of the books ended up at the Social Equity Through Education Alliance, known as SEE, which rushed to recover a few hundred books left on the ground.

“This is just a new low,” says SEE executive director Zander Moricz. “It also, beyond being evil, beyond being stupid, is wasteful and does not make sense.”

Ron DeSantis is not up for election this year. But all members of the lower house of the Florida legislature and half of the upper house of the legislature are up for election in November. Floridians should express their displeasure with bigoted GOP legislators by tossing them out of office the way the DeSantis-run NCF tossed out LGBTQ+ related books.

[chxrrywinc]

⌜ lizeth selene , twenty four , genderfluid , they/she ⌟  ╱ is that FEMININOMENON by CHAPPELL ROAN, i hear playing? oh that has to mean ROWAN HERNÁNDEZ , is about to clock in. i hear they’re a SOPHOMORE who’s been away studying PERFORMANCE STUDIES at NYU TISCH. it sure is a shame they’ve grown up to be rather CAREFREE and INDEPENDENT. word on the strip is that they’re back home for the summer and working as a RECEPTIONIST at INKSPIRE, to earn some extra cash, in order to buy a new guitar but don’t tell them i told you that !

𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙎:

FULL NAME: Rowan Hernández

NICKNAMES: Ro, R

GENDER: Gender fluid

PRONOUNS: They/She

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

DATE OF BIRTH: May 5th

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: Spanish (native), English (fluent)

NATIONALITY: Peruvian-American

WORKKING AT: Inkspire as a recepcionist.

PINTEREST: click here for rowan's board.

𝘼𝙋𝙋𝙀𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀:

FACECLAIM: Lizeth Selene

VOICE CLAIM: Lizeth Selene

HEIGHT: 5'4"

BUILD: Slim & petite, kind of on the skinny side.

HAIR: Very thick & dark brown, natural mermaid waves, often messy.

EYES: Dark brown

PIERCINGS & TATTOOS: Multiple tattoos across their body. Nose piercings: septum and nostril. Ear piercings: multiple lobe piercings, helix, and tragus.

OTHER DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Scar above the right eyebrow, beauty mark below the left eye, slight calluses on their hands from playing the guitar.

𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙔:

POSITIVE TRAITS: Creative, resilient, loyal, passionate, introspective.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Stubborn, aloof, self-critical, reclusive, blunt.

LIKES: Music (playing and listening), writing lyrics, collecting vinyl records, coffee, late-night walks, vintage clothing, comic books.

DISLIKES: Dishonesty, superficiality, overly crowded places, hot weather, loud noises without rhythm.

AESTHETICS: The sound of an electric guitar riff blending with the distant hum of the city; the smell of rain on concrete; vintage band tees and worn-out jeans; a sketchbook filled with song lyrics and doodles; the taste of cold brew coffee on a warm day; vinyl records and cassette tapes; late-night jam sessions under dim lights.

PET PEEVES: People who interrupt while they're playing and have judgmental attitudes.

𝘽𝙄𝙊𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙃𝙔

Rowan Hernández was born in Arequipa, Peru, and moved to the United States at a very young age with their family in search of better opportunities. In the US, they first lived with a relative until they could afford their apartment, initially settling in Florida, as it had a solid Latin culture that they were already accustomed to in their native country. However, they later moved to Cypress Rhodes, Colorado due to a job offer for their father—though he was a workaholic, he still believed this would give his family a better life. Rowan initially found it hard to make friends because they only spoke Spanish—the primary language in Peru—and most of their friends in Florida also spoke Spanish. Thus, the language barrier pushed them to learn English out of necessity. Rowan discovered guitar when they were 12, and it became their outlet for the emotions they couldn't understand and a way to handle the pain of losing their mother when they were a teen. Their bad connection to their dad, who simply didn't know how to deal with him anymore, made music even more important to she. They started a band named Vortex with childhood / university friends in New York City. Even though the band is formed around raw, emotional performances and an eccentric sound, they have never made a hit, and nobody seems to notice. Rowan ventured to New York to study Performance Studies at NYU TISCH, a move that offered both academic pursuit and a temporary escape from their father. Now back in Cypress Rhodes for the summer break, they've taken a role as a receptionist at Inkspire, aiming to reconnect with old friends while saving up for a new guitar. They have no plans to seek out their father, feeling he holds little interest in reconnecting with them.

𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎

Ride or Die/Bestie(s): Someone who has been their best friend since forever, the one that knows Rowan inside out, with whom they've gone through it all, always there to help each other out. This person is someone Rowan trusts implicitly and leans on during tough times. (1-2 characters)

Exes on Good Terms: A former romantic partner who remains a close friend. They ended their relationship amicably and continue to support each other in their respective endeavors. They might occasionally reminisce about their past but are firmly in the friend zone now. (1 character)

Confidant: This is someone whom Rowan can tell anything and everything, who will listen and give advice without judgment. This is Rowan's person they can open up to, sharing their deepest thoughts and secrets. (1-2 characters)

Bandmate: Another member of Vortex who shares Rowan's love for music. They write songs and perform together. What makes them close is the fact that they share experiences due to common interests. Bandmates could be childhood friends or individuals Rowan met in New York. (1-3 characters)

Unlikely Friend: Someone Rowan befriended despite seemingly having nothing in common. The personality differences complement each other, and they often seem to learn things from each other. (1 character)

[vandcrlylecrybaby]

oh i believe i had potential...

name: tallahassee andros

nickname: tal

pronouns/gender: he/him, cis man

sexuality: fluid

birthday: september 27, 1987

zodiac sign: libra ☉ | scorpio ☽ | gemini➶  

residence: brooklyn

employment: sandwich shop owner

mbti: ESFP

enneagram: type 7w6

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

... if i had got right

TL;DR:

trigger warnings: drug use, drug abuse, drug addiction, alcohol, alcohol addiction.

florida native who left home when the band he started with his brother got signed after years and years of playing dive bars, bowling alleys and birthday parties. very much a has-been, even though his old band comes back on throwback playlists and people go ‘oh hey what happened to them’ (the goal and the vibe is like… del amitri meets nine days meets a much less successful third eye blind)

(really though absolutely no one is gonna recognize this dude for that anywhere ever lmao) but don’t worry he will tell you all about it. sometimes he has the grace to hold off until someone asks why he was like 150k followers on twitter [after saying it’s because he’s really funny and insightful]

minorly and mostly peripherally success was all tallahassee needed to absolutely rip his life to pieces. he landed himself in rehab after a particularly bad fight with the band’s tour manager. when he was given the choice of potential prison time or rehab, he chose rehab. but he wasn’t read to get clean, and after his 90 days, he was right back where he wanted to be.

over the next few years, tallahassee burned every bridge and every relationship he ever had. friends, partners, family – he had dug himself into a hole trying to dig out of his habits. he sold his place, he sold his car, his sold his first guitar. after an incident on a stage in austin, he landed himself in rehab for the second time, and lost his spot in the band. (that he named and started, but whatever, he swears he’s let that go)

this time, it was going to stick, he decided. this time, he wanted it. it was the hardest 90 days of his life, until he was released and discovered that every day from here on out was just as difficult.

he left california, spent some time freelance writing and traveling the country. (he was not entirely unaware that the thing he was running from was in the driver’s seat with him.)

he ended up in new york by chance, and (mostly) stayed by choice. his bronco broke down outside of a bar, and he decided it was divine intervention telling him it was just fine to go in and have a drink. predictably, he woke up in the drunk tank with a court date a month away. so he stayed. at first, in rent-by-the-week motel on staten island. didn’t matter – he spent most of his time bouncing between NA and AA meetings, anyway. his court date came and went, and tallahassee signed a lease. worked odd jobs. bought a house. bought a sandwich shop. built a life and put down roots in hopes that the man who was hellbent and setting fire to it all was still somewhere on the west coast.

people person (derogatory) and is insufferable when he isn't getting enough attention (and he is never getting enough attention).

i could have been there...

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

NA or AA buddies. (sponsor and sponsee especially)

sandwich shop regulars

friends

exes/flings

anything n everything

... i could have been special

ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS:

tbd

VIBES:

pinterest | playlist

[nexi1066]

Random thing from my room of the day

I got this from when I visited Florida (I live in England in the UK). It's a banshee that I named riptide as they remind me of seawings (wings of fire refrence). They are gender fluid and today their pronouns are they/them. They are my baby. I will let you know their pronouns every day and I will post a random thing from my room every day.

[talandros]

CHARACTER INFORMATION:

FULL NAME: Tallahassee Andros

NICKNAMES: Tal

FACE CLAIM: Peter Gadiot

PRONOUNS AND GENDER: Cis man, he/him

BIRTHDAY: September 27,1987

BIRTH PLACE: Tallahassee, Florida

HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN TOWN?: Eight years

SEXUALITY: Fluid

HOUSING: Coral Coast

OCCUPATION: Freelance songwriter

TL;DR:

TRIGGER WARNING(S): DRUG USE, DRUG ABUSE, BLOOD MENTION, ALCOHOL ABUSE

has-been washed up musician in a band that comes back on throwback playlists and people go ‘oh hey what happened to them’ (the goal and the vibe is like… del amitri meets nine days meets a much less successful third eye blind)

(really though absolutely no one is gonna recognize this dude for that anywhere ever lmao) but don’t worry he will tell you all about it. sometimes he has the grace to hold off until someone asks why he was like 150k followers on twitter [after saying it’s because he’s really funny and insightful]

florida native who left home when his band got signed after years and years of playing dive bars, bowling alleys and birthday parties

minorly and mostly peripherally successful but that was all tallahassee needed to absolutely rip his life to pieces

developed a drug problem on tour, got carted off to rehab (twice). the second time was the last straw and he was kicked out of the band. (that he named and started, but whatever, he swears he’s let that go)

moved to fairford for a fresh start roughly eight years ago and my dude has done NOTHING with that

living a good and california sober life, which suits him just fine

he is genuinely annoying but maybe in a way that’s endearing in select circles

FUN DUMB STATS:

Birthday: September 27,1987

Zodiac Sign: Libra ☉ | Sagittarius ☽ | Gemini➶  

MBTI: ESFP

Enneagram: Type 7w6

Temperament: Sanguine

Moral Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Element: Air

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

absolutely anything

ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS:

tbd

FULL BIOGRAPHY:

OKAY THIS IS THE FULL BIO BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT it’s here for posterity

All Tallahassee Andros’ life had been a vacillation of falling in love. First, it was music. The instant his uncle had put a guitar in his hands, that old Fender with nicks and dings that could barely hold its tune, a part of him never put it down. It was all he thought about during school days and baseball practices — getting home and playing that guitar. For a long time, the sound was unbearable, something only made worse by his tenacity. But he started to get better. Started to understand how to wrap lyrics around a melody — stupid little songs about missing the bus and hating homework and loving the girl who sat in front of him in math. He had heard his uncle say music brought him peace, but that wasn’t the truth for Tallahassee. Tallahassee felt this frenetic need for it, an all-encompassing, jonesing sort of itch. Later he would learn it was in his bones to need things, and music would be his bridge into the land where no one ever said no.

He started his first band when he was 14. A garage band with neighborhood kids who didn’t have much skill between them, but they were still willing to spend every day writing and rehearsing and trying to make something of themselves. Even the members remained in a sort of flux, one kid tagging out and dragging another in. By the end of it, they had only played at the bowling alley and the pizza shop across the street, and the only member who had stayed was Tallahassee  Andros. He was, after all, the front man. A position he both decided on, and clung to. He wrote the songs, after all, and his parents cared the least about a ragtag group of kids playing discordant noises late into the night. Tallahassee’s parents were two people who, at best, tolerated each other – but wanted to do right by their kids. Doing right meant a lot of letting them do what they wanted, as long as they were out of their hair. That meant, for the Andros family, a lot of late nights and loud music.

By the time he graduated high school, their still unnamed band consisted of   Tallahassee on vocals and guitar, his lifelong best friend Will on drums, a friend of a friend from down the street called Kurt on drums, and his brother Dover on rhythm guitar. They weren’t great, but they had been featured in the paper, and their gigs paid. It was barely enough to gas up the van to get there and back, but money was money, and that made them feel real. A real band needed a real name, and after spending months kicking around the first thing that came to mind, the landed on something. They were all sitting around the garage smoking — shitty, dirtbag weed that Dover had pocketed from their uncle — when they landed on something. Far more pretentious than an early 2000′s bowling alley band had a right to be, but they didn’t know it at the time. Kurt had been flipping through a Nat Geo magazine, one his dad had left from his days of hoping to be a wildlife photographer, when he started reading about this cluster of sharks off the coast of San Diego. Requiem sharks, the author called them. The Wild Requiem.

As much as the boys agreed on anything, they agreed on that name. Later, people would ask how they’d decided on it — and every time, every member of the band came up with a different lie. Tal liked the sound of it — liked that experts seemed to be torn on whether the name came from the French word for that old final rest, or the word for a grimace that showed teeth. It didn’t match their sound, not really —  but he liked that too. They started to work on an EP – their best songs to shop around to any label they had the gas money to get to. They burned it onto CDs and slid them unceremoniously under the door of every record shop and radio station in a 50 mile radius. They all had to get other jobs, real jobs, while they waited for something that felt like a break. They’d gotten a few bites, and continued to play in bars and small venues, but they weren’t successful — they weren’t paying bills.

Not until her. Their final addition, the one that would elevate them from a shitty little band to something with potential, was Laurel. She saw the Wild Requiem playing at a basement party, and she immediately started giving them advice as soon as they were off stage. She was pretty, so Tallahassee  pretended to listen. She was also smart, so Dover actually listened. It was a mercy Tal Andros had stars in his eyes, or he would’ve kicked up a fuss at receiving unsolicited advice from someone who had only heard 23 minutes of their material, and what did she know, anyway? A lot, as it turned out. Laurel’s dad was the head of Guilty Pleasure Records, and even if she didn’t have a foot in the door, she was a talent on her own.

Finally getting bored of her advice, Tallahassee asked her to prove herself. At their next practice, the room felt impossibly cramped with the new body, and he’d never realized how messy the garage was until there was a pretty girl standing in it. Laurel cast a disdainful look around the place, nudging an empty beer can out of her way with her boot as she stepped inside. He knew right then, she wasn’t going to try and blend in with them. She was going to try to change them —  fix them. He wanted to stand in front of her and say this had all been a mistake, they didn’t need help, and they didn’t need her. He would’ve been wrong. She sang for them, a song of her own that was far more eloquent than anything they’d managed to write. She guided them through playing it behind her. She and Tallahassee fell into a harmony, and the room seemed to come alive with it. With her, their sound changed entirely. They were firing on all cylinders. They needed Laurel in the band, and Laurel wanted to prove herself in her own right. They put together a new demo, and despite her connection, they were not picked up by Guilty Pleasure. Instead, they were scooped by one of their competitors — a nothing little studio that spawned out of GP Records, and picked up the studio head’s daughter out of spite. That was alright by the Wild Requiem, and more than alright by Laurel.

They spent almost seven months on that first album, every second that wasn’t spent writing was spent recording. For all their differences — and Tallahassee was learning there were a lot —  he and Laurel knew how to make a certain kind of magic together when it came to music. She knew how to get on his goddamn nerves, but she also knew how to fine tune his ideas. The album, for all it’s faults, was a success in a way none of them prepared for. They had received a fair amount of local buzz, but being excited about the neighborhood band that kept you up with their late night practices was nothing in comparison to what they would get. Required Listening was a sort of alternative rock, pop rock album that was easy. Windows down, singing with your friends on a July afternoon music. It wasn’t what any of them wanted to be in the end — but they knew it was a sound that would give them a beginning.

And it did. They were booked as an opening act for a three-band tour, and their set time was roughly all of fifteen minutes, but that was fifteen minutes they got to perform in big cities all around the country. They were out of Florida, and onto a lifestyle that was entirely different than bowling alleys and dive bars. When he read about how rock stars lived, how freely drugs were passed around backstage, Tallahassee believed it, but in a distant way that he didn’t think he would have to learn to deal with. He gave into it, at first not wanting to look like an amateur, like some Florida dirtbag who was out of his depth. First it was coke, and that could’ve been enough for him. It should’ve been. How quickly it sunk its teeth in, and how much more alive he felt was something he couldn’t ignore. Before he knew it, he was staying awake for days at a time, one city blurring into the next, the second leg of the tour becoming nothing but a feeling. In that time, he and Laurel had started sleeping together. She was only a half step behind him on the blow, both of them letting long nights of hooking up turn into writing songs that were nonsense in the daylight.

Their album had started to chart during that tour, and even if most of the country didn’t know they knew the Wild Requiem, they would find themselves humming their songs. No one was coming to shows for them, not really, but they were still getting attention. Tallahassee’s recreational drug use had started to turn into a habit, and they all knew he was going to have a problem by the end of the tour. He had started taking uppers in the mornings, and needed downers to get anything close to sleep. He had started to balance a combination of them during the day to keep himself running at a level, riding that high. But if anyone cared, that was eclipsed by how worried they were about Laurel. At the start of the tour, she had been right behind him. But she had surpassed him somewhere between Tempe and Seattle, and she was already getting into the shit that came from street dealers in dark alleys. Her family was intervening, and they were setting her up for a rehab stint at the end of the tour. The end of the tour was important, because despite getting in their own way, despite being on a bender reserved for business veterans, they had written some solid music. The band agreed, the label agreed. The tour would end, Laurel would get clean, and they’d meet up in four months to start on the next album.  

Tallahassee wasn’t worried about her. Not even when she would wake up with dried blood under her nose, and she had long since stopped feeling like the level-headed decisive woman he’d encountered just a few short years ago. They’d all changed on that tour, though. Shy, quiet Will had a different groupie on the bus every night. Where Tallahassee had given in to the harder substances, Dover had started to get just short of falling down drunk before every show. Tallahassee himself had, by almost all accounts, become an absolute dick. Before his tenacity had been to the band’s benefit, but somewhere in the time he started snorting Dexedrine, it was to their detriment.

They were still a fairly small band. They didn’t have room for his ego.

The tour ended, and The Wild Requiem was still riding high. Laurel was carted off to rehab, and the rest of them went their separate ways, for the time being. The band had already agreed on a house outside of Los Angeles for when recording time rolled back around. It was this ramshackle place in Pomona, five bedrooms and one bath. It was a dream home for none of them, but they wanted to grind their sophomore album out in the right place, in record time. Tallahassee headed there instead of back to Florida, living out those three months ‘networking’ for the band. It was during that time that he did heroin for the first time. Bad shit, he knew, and the one thing he’d promised himself he wouldn’t fall into. It had been a bad look on Laurel, even he’d seen that.

That, it turned out, to be his second great love. And oh, how it eclipsed the first. Music was secondary to that feeling, to the extent that he wondered how he had ever loved it at all. By the time Laurel got clean, he was anything but. Recording their second album came with none of the ease of the first. She couldn’t be around him, and he was having difficulty tolerating her sanctimonious attitude. All of the fun of the first album turned into grit, but it didn’t suit their sound. It was sand in your clothes after a day at the beach grit, and it was hard to salvage, even with the push of the label. Their second album felt like a draft, and their label had even less faith in it than the band did. There was maybe one single worth listening to on it, but that single pushed them through. It even charted, and got them their own headlining tour. No big venues, no sold out arenas, but it was enough. They just needed to work through the rockier parts. By the time they left, Tallahassee was all rocky parts. No one told him how short the high lasted – how everything after turned into that need. When he wasn’t using, his blood felt like battery acid. He woke up with his teeth clenched, every part of him crying out for it. It became survival.

He and Laurel had long since split, if they’d ever been together in any real capacity at all. But they couldn’t stand to be around each other. They started to travel on two separate tour buses. Even in his addled state, he knew this would be the end of the Wild Requiem. Their album was critically panned. Two albums in, and crowds already demanded their ‘old stuff.’ What Tallahassee didn’t know was how it would end. He overdosed in Phoenix, but not before taking a nasty header off the stage in Austin. He thought he would get a grace period to work through it himself – he hadn’t. His team put him in a rehab facility, tour be damned. Dover stepped up and took his part, and they hired a new guitarist.

At the end of his 90 days, the tour had ended – and so had his time with the band. He pretended to understand it. Pretended right up until the moment he got high and tore their Pomona house to pieces with his bare hands – doors off frames, furniture in the yard, holes in the walls. He was a one-man wrecking ball, and when he came to in the yard with bloody knuckles and surrounded by debris, he checked himself back into rehab. Another 90 day jaunt for Tallahassee Andros, and a new album for the Wild Requiem.

They could’ve at least changed the name, he thought. He wondered if he had grounds to sue. Probably. But his only visitor had been his brother, and when he saw the worry in Dover’s face, he knew they thought they were saving him. And saving the band. The new album was good. It wasn’t great, but nothing they’d done had ever been great. It returned to the easy sounds of their first album, and Dover thought they had the start of something. Tal did too. He decided then, to let it go. He wasn’t meant for that life. He’d lived it for three years, and it had all but turned him inside out. The other thing no one mentioned when you got sober, is how much goddamn time you suddenly have. He stayed in California for a while, moving up the coast to San Francisco. In San Francisco, he tried to be a lot of different people. So many hobbies under his belt, all because he needed to replace one addiction with the next. Woodworking, gardening – the worst of them all had been when he decided to be a runner. That one lasted until he tore his ACL, because Tallahassee still hadn’t learned to do anything moderately.

While he was healing, he dared to get back into songwriting. That tapped into the very center of him, releasing something he hadn’t known he was still holding. His guitar remained untouched, gathering dust in the attic where he didn’t have to look at it, but the idea of setting something to music was enough. He left California when he turned twenty-eight. After all, he’d been a has-been by the time he turned 23, by 25 he felt like a relic. He tried Seattle for a while, but Seattle felt like Los Angeles in a suit. The novelty of ‘aren’t you that guy?’ wore off quickly, and he was craving a sort of anonymity. It was only then that he remembered the town in Washington that felt like a unique little something. Maybe it was a need for something peripherally familiar without being familiar at all – the feeling of being a strange man in a strange land.

For weeks he tried to remember the name of the town, and for weeks he landed on nothing. He looked at old tour schedules, old pictures, anything. He finally relented and texted Laurel to ask. The band had broken up, and last he’d heard, she’d gotten married. Some British dude that Dover said was an asshole. Laurel, instead of answering, asked to meet for coffee.

They met up in Redding, California – the almost midpoint for them both. The first and last time they ever agreed to meet each other halfway. She wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, just as he’d known she wouldn’t be. Their meeting was filled with apologies and awkward reminiscing, something he hadn’t considered when he imagined how it would go. The terrible thing about them both being sober is they had no choice but to be present. She admitted only after they’d slept together that she was still married, she had just wanted to see if there was still a spark. Neither of them were sure if there had been. She told him the town had been called Fairford, and she only remembered because they’d impromptu played a gig at a dive bar while they were there, and because of Tallahassee, they’d wound up paying damages instead of actually getting paid.

She wished him luck there, as though his bags were already packed. Maybe they all but were. She was glad they’d had this last time, she said. He supposed she wanted it to feel like closure, but he didn’t think it had. It felt like opening up a book he’d once loved, but only remembered the high points. Still, he smiled and agreed.

He did pack his bags. He spent two months living out of motels and hotels while he tried to figure out if this was, indeed, the life he wanted. He liked the pace of things here. Liked the person he felt like when he went for his early morning run, followed by a coffee on the way back. He liked that the nights were slow and quiet. Most importantly, Tallahassee liked the person he felt like he could become here. He started to find his way back into music, even if it was no more than playing his guitar at sunset. The way the soft chatter in the down the hall would fall a little quieter if he managed something that sounded like he’d once been someone with talent. He would stay, he decided.

He moved out of the motel, opting to buy a house. The kind of roots that could, in darker moments, reach up and wrap around his neck if he weren’t careful. He was, after all, still in the business of replacing addictions, and he had gone a long way from anyone who was willing to stop him. He hadn’t relapsed since moving to the Washington, though he had adopted a California Sober lifestyle. And after 10 years, Tallahassee learned to stop changing the station when the Wild Requiem came on the radio – even if he gritted his teeth at being called a one-hit wonder.

VIBES:

pinterest | playlist

[liquid-queer]

Who has the petition for this to not be passed? This is sick. My state is a sick fucking place. This, this is awful. We need to gather everyone to protest this, and to petition this. This is disgusting. If you are a cis-hetero ally, and dare to not protest this of your able you are not our ally. If you are trans and somewhere else, and able to petition this then do. IF YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA YOU MUST PETITION/PROTEST THIS!!!! This is disgusting. I am gender-fluid and I have a two trans friends, one trans fem, and one trans masc. This sick shit needs to stop.

I feel like US conservatives went from a 3/4 to 7 on transgender people over the course of a year and a half.

Basically, if this passes, the state Florida will take away your children if you are transgender or one of your children is transgender (as the bill notes it will take away cis children if they have a trans sibling).

Absolutely monstrous.