#flailing over here
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Every day I open a dating app is a day it becomes very apparent to me - I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.
#kerytalk#gay struggling over here#I went into my het-presenting long term relationship at like 18#ended when I was 27#i basically missed the entire time apps were actually good#it was my first relationship and we were chill in terms of dates were never formally declared#we just hung out? idk#WHAT IS RIZZ#(I know what the term means but I legit don't know what qualifies)#flailing over here#brutally honest is my rizz and that would basically be saying I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING#ugh being late to lesbian sucks#ventposting
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One of the things that makes me feel crazy on DMC5 replays is the way V phrases his request to Dante.
He doesn't say "we need your help to stop the demon." He says "A powerful demon is about to resurrect, and we need your help, Dante." The implication seems to be that V needs Dante's help to stop it...but if you've played it before, that's not what he's really asking. V needs Dante's help in order for the resurrection to take place. Because until Urizen is weakened V has no chance of rejoining him, so he needs Dante's help to weaken Urizen so he's primed for merging and bringing about Vergil's resurrection. The "we" V refers to could also absolutely be both V and Urizen in that case, instead of just some general "we" of humanity. So he's not really asking for help to stop the resurrection, but instead to bring it about, hiding the truth in plain sight and careful wording.
The DMC 5 localization can be wonky in some places, but in other places it just shines. "We need your help, Dante." Not to stop it. He never says that. It's to bring about the resurrection itself.
#dmc#dmc5#devil may cry#i will never be over this#the first time i noticed it i just about lost my mind#you see the first time i experienced DMC5 was through watching someone else's playthrough. so the first time i played it myself i already-#-knew the plot. Which means when I got to that scene in my own playthrough I had to basically put down the controller and flail bc#man!!!! man!!!! that phrasing!!!!!!!!!!!#this is also something i've latched onto for characterization of both v and vergil as being good at half truths and wordplay#yeah there's the poetry aspect but v doesn't just do it with poetry. there's the way he phrases it here too#it's not a lie. v does need dante's help.#he just puts it in a way that he knows dante will interpret one way even though he really means it in another#and i love it#man i'm really going to miss v but if they make dmc6 i hope they give vergil some of his characterization/character traits#vergil is a different character technically but they share a base so he can totally have some of those traits!!!!#erurandomness#erubabbles
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i’ve been having a bad week and my lovely friend sent me these in the mail to cheer me up 🥺🥺 he doesn’t even like arctic monkeys but he always knows how make me feel better ❤️🩹
#expect scans of these soon because oh my god this interview is an absolute GEM#so many illuminating little snippets about alex and the way he views and experiences the world#also yes#that is a small crocheted bee 🥺#idk whether it was the healing properties of these gifts or not but i’m finally feeling a little more like myself this evening#so expect my usual milex related flailing to resume shortly#i know i've been a little quiet on here but i can't wait to get back to normal and lose my mind over our fave smitten little idiots 💗#to anyone who's sent me messages/asks i promise i'll reply soooooon 💘💘#arctic monkeys#tbhc era#lulu posts
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I keep seeing people talk about how they don’t have chemistry and I’m just so confused??? They are two boys falling in love for the first time, one of whom didn’t know they even liked boys. They are supposed to be a little awkward. But they absolutely have chemistry. The banter about NDA’s and lifts??? The you hungry??? The kiss??????? And even just them bickering or in each others presence. Those are two boys in love. I have no idea where the No chemistry is but I’m very grateful to be one of the MANY people who doesn’t see it. 😌
#RWRB#red white & royal blue#red white and royal blue#firstprince#my thoughts#you do you#but I’m going to stay over here happy and fangirl if and flailing and watching the trailer on repeat
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that fucking smile~🎃
#also#i’m just gonna flail over his tattoos here for a sec#they’re just#they look so SO fucking GOOD on him#like i mean#i’m into tattoos ANYWAY#but frank and his are just on a whole other level for me#jesus. fucking. christ#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#frnkiero#mcr5#mcrmy#frnkie#my chemical romance#my chem
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Hello, new followers!
Had a flurry of new folks start following in the last day or two, so welcome! I'm happy to have all of you here and I appreciate you following my blog. A few helpful things to know:
- Anons are temporarily turned off because I started getting flooded after GO 2 came out and became overwhelmed. Also dealing with some stressful RL stuff at the moment, so I've decided to keep Anons off a bit longer to preserve my sanity.
- A little bit about me: I first got into Good Omens/Michael/David in 2019 when season 1 was released, and have been immersed in all things GO ever since. I am a writer and have been writing fanfic for the better part of 25+ years. (Here is my AO3.) I can't draw to save my life, but writing and analysis is definitely a passion of mine (and you can find much of that in my #discourse tag).
- I use #ineffable husbands for all of my posts related to Aziraphale/Crowley, and #ineffable lovers for my posts related to Michael/David (specifically, shipping them).
- I sometimes address controversial topics on my blog, but I will never shy away from or refuse to publish Asks featuring opinions that are different from mine. I am happy to have folks disagree with me, so long as the discussion remains civil and free from personal attacks.
- You are welcome to send in Asks logged in, and/or my DMs are always open. I'm happy to chat with folks and answer any questions you have (time permitting, as I sometimes get busy with RL stuff/traveling for my work as a professional speaker).
...And I think that about covers it! Again, my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has sent me such lovely messages and Asks/Anons and said kind words about my blog. You have made continuing to run this worthwhile, and I'm so grateful. Looking forward to sharing fun posts and thoughts on all things GO/Michael/David with you in the coming year ahead!
#personal post#thank you all you lovely people for being here#people can be awful sometimes#but then people can be wonderful too#i am so grateful for everyone who enjoys my MS/DT content as well#can't wait to flail with you all over Michael and David together#psa#<3
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(random) ngl before i started learning korean i felt like the worst failure of a korean but now i feel like the best failure of a korean (/j) HAHA
like im struggling to speak but least im speaking..!! I feel like I've restored an essential piece of myself that was missing...
#i tweeted this but im prob gonna delete it soon so#puts it here too in case ppl can relate...? lol#since i know its a common immigrant kid experience...#being disconnected from your heritage language i mean#for various reasons...#i thought i was ok w it but its rly a horrible feeling#like i said it felt like smth was missing#and i kinda jokingly self deprecatingly worded it as the best failure of a korean#but thats kind of... accurate fmfbnf like i feel embarrassed that im not fluent and feel like im a baby flailing my arms#but i still feel like even if im imperfect im more... complete#that isnt to say i was incomplete before... or anyone in the same situation is. but its still an exuberant feeling#and helps me get over feeling embarrassed that i suck at kr so bad. like AT LEAST I CAN COMMUNICATE NOW!!!#talk tag#laughing to myself rmbring that me and prob 1000s of other asian americans prob wrote an essay abt being detached from our culture for#our college/scholarship/etc essays#well i didnt know i was lgbt then i had to write abt smth!! and it was eating me up all the time...#i rly hope i can improve my kr more in the coming yrs
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THE VOICEMAILLL IM SO FUCKING ILL RNNN NOBODY LOOK AT ME
#I AM ROCKING AND FLAILING MY ARMS WHILE WATCHING ITS A CATEGORY 10 AUTISM EVENT OVER HERE GUYS#911 spoilers#911 season 8 spoilers#911 abc
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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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*A distorted version of mickey mouse with a syringe appears for some reason and runs towards bendy letting out a loud screech*
What the HELL was that!? Some sorta twitchy-legged Mickey monster? With a syringe fer some reason? Whatever it is, it's dead now, but man... that kinda freaked me out. And I don't even wanna know what it wanted ta do with that syringe. Blegh.
#bendy#batim#batim bendy#ask#nanon#boi64#flawedclonesau#(( mr crazy legs over here..... its supposed to be scary but the legs are so funny to me ))#(( the stillness of his upper body and the flailing of legs ))
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Hi! Just wanted to tell you that I love your work. I saw a few of your BuckTommy pieces and they were magnificent 🥰 Thank you for making such fantastic art!
aksjdjaksj!!!!! thank you so much T____T!!!!!
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What I said about The Incident or the Conversation: I'm fine. It's nothing.
Me days later listening to the same song on repeat:
#what in the hell is happening#i've written several pages in my journal about it#might be making a chart soon#with dates and utterances#so there's this coworker who was supposed to go with me#to see yefim bronfman last year#only he bowed out with no explanation#which is perfectly fine#i often fantasize about cancelling plans#and some musical journeys are best ventured alone#and nothing has ostensibly changed in our interactions#(right???????)#only instead of occasionally flailing for a few moments#in random bursts of information#here and there when our shifts briefly cross over#our captain and others sort of clocked our mutual chaos#and now it is sending me#we've been observed#and they're shipping it lmfao#or not#i just want a conversation with someone who can keep up with my bullshit honestly#but it is still breaking my brain#>.>#i feel like the mere seed of an idea#got planted somewhere in there#and now it is growing aggressively#and for the record: no just no#not happening for various reasons#.#(i'm pretty sure he's straight at any rate which would be a relief honestly and i swore off getting involved years ago im done. mostly.)
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I feel like I've made this post before but I can't actually remember if I did or not, so. if I repeat myself I repeat myself (wouldn't be the first time)
I of course get why "why aren't more alter/nonhumans talking about x experiences?" is a common refrain but one response I don't think I've ever seen is "well. what's to say?"
like part of the reason I take so well to tumblr is because it's got scrapbook vibes. I can have a tag for a facet of my self-conception and just throw things into it as I'm called to -- visual art, music, poems, a textpost that resonates. I can express how this thing feels without having to scrounge together some ineffectual words to try and explain the ineffable or whatever
similarly, I just am not that sort of individual. Grey, who was here before me, was that sort of individual. I am continually amazed by his facility with words and his ability to make poetry out of fucking anything. that sort of thing is far more incidental and rare for me than it was for him. he was very cerebral in a way that I cannot access as well, just as I am very sensory and visceral in a way that he didn't seem to value as much. this means I have a lot of feelings and sense impressions and imagery when it comes to my self-conception but words? yeah, not so much
some of us are just not essay-writers, to put it simply. in dialogue with others I might be able to contribute a few insights, and if I'm asked a direct question I find that to be excellent reason to expend the effort of explanation, but mostly I exist in a lush and multidimensional complexity that I find increasingly difficult to satisfactorily express
#some of us are just here. vibing. having wild experiences and revelations that we find impossible to transcribe#hell even in my own diary i'm like. flailing for words. i don't even bother recording stuff for my OWN sake half the time bc it's so hard#you should see some of my obsidian files. just totally inscrutable to the passing observer.#i'm not mysterious on purpose (most of the time) it just kind of comes with the territory of me-ness#this is not meant to discourage curiosity btw. i like it when people are curious! that's the best reason to put in the effort of explaining#(i know i already said that in the post. it just bears repeating!)#singularity.txt#ok fine i'll put general tags just in case anyone wants to 🤝 with me over being overlooked non-essayists#alterhuman#nonhuman
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alex: “we met then and we became... you may say... [pause] good friends...”
miles: “good friends to best friends... at that point, anyway...”
[distracted, self-conscious pause]
alex: “um [visibly trying to gather his thoughts]... and then the friendship continued... as... as... [still struggling] as they do...”
(i was going to write a whole analysis of this clip because jesus CHRIST, but instead i’ve just transcribed it, because honestly?? i think these 16 seconds speak loud enough for themselves)
#they literally said it right there for everyone to hear#and the body language??#the way alex totally loses his train of thought after miles says ‘at that point anyway’#SO LOUD#also i realise this might be old news to lots of people here but i’m still discovering gems like these#and i need somewhere to flail over them#so pls forgive me#milex#alex turner#miles kane#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#baby milex 🥺#baby puppets#lulu posts
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Oh, the mortifying ordeal of being known through your writing on a very personal level
#can’t believe I actually posted that piece#I have psychosis#AND NOW EVERYONE KNOWS A BIG PORTION OF MY DELUSIONS#because like the psychotic bitch I am#I shared it with the internet in my fandoms#specifically#the fandom known for making people mentally ill over it#they truly have no poster child for a reader like me#hey get over here and make fun of me with me#ORV#orv side story#how to be a star writer#lee hakhyun#he’s not my blorbo#he’s sang-sang-ui’s#I’m just the current packaging#at least reality remains ridiculous enough that I shouldn’t be this embarrassed about my very public brand of insanity now#(unintelligible internal flailing gestures)#first fic on ao3 too#yikes
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Actually, you know what? Josh and Donna’s first kiss absolutely was always meant to happen with her fully clothed and him in his underwear and yes this is my hot take.
#josh x donna#it's about the power balances with them#she Had to have the hand over him for this to happen with the context of the first 5 seasons#which is why her being the active force in it all works and him just flailing#and not believing his luck is so on point#(he's literally the Only one who didn't know that they'd end up making out eventually)#him being half asleep and not remembering that they don't actually kiss normally and just on the fly kissing her#is just. amazing. ofc it'd happen like that!#and then donna taking charge and steering the way is obviously how it'd go#she's a fucking icon tho#they have all this tension for YEARS and then make out once#and she propositions him that day#i love her.#that the proposition fails bc josh's brain breaks for a second is also peak josh#she then jumps from propositon to seducing#and finally finds a way to distract josh on an election day#i did not predict this spiral today but here we are#might actually go watch the episode but also might not#sadly this whole thing happens in the same ep that Other thing happens in
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