#some of us are just here. vibing. having wild experiences and revelations that we find impossible to transcribe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mittensmorgul · 3 years ago

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For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT.

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant. It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.”

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we��d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

#this blue hellsite (affectionate)#fandom problems #kinda wish i'd made this post six months ago but here we are i guess lol #long post #now edited for the people who are actually personally invested in the fandom #thanks for participating in this little experiment and I hope this version is actually informative to those who are interested #meaning there's a lot more links to stuff and explainers and whatnot...#and one last reminder that for folks just swinging through for laughs absolutely none of this applies to you #if you are legit interested in fandom history and preservation as we move to the post-canon world then hopefully this is useful to you

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luvneedsnosyt · 5 years ago

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My Favorite Albums of 2019

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2019 You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2019 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2019: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top albums of 2018 can be found here.

*Indicates someone I saw live in 2019

Honorable Mentions:

Anderson .Paak - Ventura Genre: Hip Hop / R&B/ Soul

Recorded at the same time as last year’s Oxnard, Ventura is the more tender and unassuming brother of the two. Despite the vulnerability this seems to be Anderson’s more comfortable persona. Focusing on love and feelings and other mushy stuff. The experimenting on this album between R&B, jazz, electronic music creates a glossy and elaborate form of hip hop. At times Anderson’s versatility can get a bit in the way on long form projects, here that creativity is perhaps the most channeled of his career.

Proof: Reachin’ 2 Much (Feat. Lelah Hathaway) / Chosen One (Feat. Sonyae)

Anna of the North - Dream Girl Genre: Synth-Pop

The tender and delicate music of Oslo singer Anna of the North is back following up her touching 2017 debut album. Anna’s music is not totally unassuming but is very subtle and reserved. You can take a moment to stop and feel the soothing vibes or you can pass it by and not notice. The synth based production is meant to provide a basis to get hips moving but also not to reach out and demand your attention in a needy way. Anna’s vocals are always warm and bouncy even when singing about sad subject matters.

Proof: My Love / Playing Games

Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Genre: Synth-Pop

I stumbled on Billie Eilish’s “ocean eyes” single early on and instantly became a fan of her dark and brooding sound. It reminded me of the first time I heard The Weeknd. Even being an early subscriber it did surprise me a bit the vice grip the 18 year old would put on 2019. I knew she would find an audience with the undeniable talent for songwriting and impacting voice beyond her years. I did not foresee this low lit and frankly weird music hitting the mainstream with such a force, but I sure am glad it did. This is where I would say I can’t wait to see how she follows up this monster of debut album, but honestly she deserves to revel in the influence it is having and enjoy this moment. She will be around for however long she wishes to in the industry; that I am certain of.

Proof: bad guy / you should see me in a crown

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Genre: R&B / Soul

It was a long time coming for hook provider BJ The Chicago Kid’s 2016 debut album In My Mind. He showed he can carry a solo project just fine. Now in 2019 he’s back for his victory lap with another soulful and sexy album that follows up his debut quite nicely. BJ is a bit of a throw back to the late 90’s/early 2000’s soul music which is right up my alley so you already know I ride for it with no qualms.

Proof: Rather Be With You / Reach (Feat. Afrojack)

Bon Iver - i,i Genre: Indie Pop / Folk

Justin Vernon’s band Bon Iver has created quite a robust cult following that’s very impressive off of four albums spanning over 12 years and in non-uniform song structures and themes. i,i might be the band’s most straightforward record, but that doesn’t mean there’s any downgrade in creativity and innovation. As always the case with Bon Iver albums your senses are confronted with multiple instruments and production tools used in traditional ways and used in ways you wouldn’t think of. Grooves are created then shifted and the only real constant is you don’t know what direction the music will go next. But that’s part of the joy and you know Justin Vernon is a trustworthy navigator on this expansive journey.

Proof: Hey, Ma / U (Man Like)

Bring Me the Horizon - amo Genre: Rock / Alternative

On their sixth album, the English rock group took experimentation and expansion seriously broadening their rock sound to new horizons (ok, that was bad). amo isn’t as much a departure for the alt-Metal group but more increasing their pallet to include more cross genre influences dipping into punk, pop, electronic and hip hop. There’s definitely risk with lofty exploration so suddenly in a band’s discography but BMTH pull it off rather elegantly here creating a unique blend that sounds a bit like a harder hitting Muse record. I am one to applaud audacious creative efforts to expand on ones sound if the motives seem pure; even when those attempts don’t quite work (Mumford & Sons - Babel, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Coldplay - Everyday Life this year for instance). When they do stick the landing you can bet I am in awe.

Proof: in the dark / medicine

Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Genre: Alternative / Rock

I will admit the English band hasn’t really been on my radar before this album, so I can’t ascribe how this album is different than their previous two albums (from what I've read it is very different though). What I do know if this is some of the best rock music to come out of 2019 in a year that wasn’t too kind to the genre. There are many emotional moments of this record that really bring levity to the glossy and cinematic music backdrops. There are two albums already announced in early 2020 from the group; they are definitely on my radar now.

Proof: Sorry, I’m Yours / Be Somebody Good

Chance The Rapper - Big Day Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With how long he’s been around and how many Mixtapes and side projects Chance has dropped it’s pretty surprising this is his first ever official LP. When you wait that long and build (to his credit) the anticipation he has, a lot of weight gets put on that first album; unfortunately I feel that weight affected the product and swallowed it up a bit once released. Chance, I think, felt a responsibility to speak to his vast diversity we’ve seen over the years in sounds and flows. That resulted in a bit of a bloated and disjointed project. Something Chance projects always seem to have is a continuity despite their variety that seems to be absent here. Once the short coming are acknowledged there is some really great songs here with few missteps (although there are a few). Some more quality control, restraint and a concept to follow there are the makings of a possible top 10 of the year album here. My favorite moments are the nostalgic and 90’s R&B influences moments that sprinkle the album, a whole project with those as more a driving force could really be something special.

Proof: All Day Long (Feat. John Legend) / Zanies and Fools (Feat. Darius Scott & Nicki Minaj)

Dabin* - Wild Youth // Wild Youth (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Toronto multi-instrumentalist and electronic DJ Dabin returns with a sophomore album of more emotional and evocative electronic soundscapes. The melodic album flows smoothly through inspirational tracks of finding oneself coming to a climactic crescendo with the cinematic closer “Alive”.

Proof: In Flames (Feat. Lexi Norton) / Alive (Feat. RUNN) // Part-Time Lover (Crystal Skies Remix) Feat. Claire Ridgely / Alive (Trvecta Remix) Feat. RUNN

Dermot Kennedy* - Without Fear Genre: Pop / Soul

Irish singer Dermot Kennedy’s voice comes in like a freight train straight for your ear drum. He sings with such evocative passion and force it is quite a sound to behold. That’s not to say Without Fear is all potent bellowing. Dermot on his soulful debut here has plenty of softer, tender moments as well.

Proof: Moment’s Passed / Redemption

Foals - Part 2: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Genre: Rock / Alternative

The second part of the English Rock bands 2-part album project this year is the louder and more aggressive sibling. The music is a bit less glossy and more gritty then it predecessor but still is quite refined in its ferociousness. I do prefer the more melodic first offering of the two but that doesn’t need to take away from how exhilarating this album is as well.

Proof: The Runner / Neptune

GoldLink - Diaspora Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With his second album, DMV rapper GoldLink dove deeper into his African roots with increased Afro-inspired production and themes. Diaspora is a fusion dish of of East coast Hip Hop base, with 90’s R&B notes, a sprinkle of Jazz, a dash of DC house and intermixing of traditional African qualities. It’s quite a vibrant and varied plateful!

Proof: Zulu Screams (Feat. Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) / More (Feat. Lola Rae)

Goldroom - Plunge /\ Surface Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Returning from a brief hiatus after his debut album, 2016’s West of the West, Goldroom sneaked in at the end of November with one of the years most fun house records. The wait was definitely worth it for Goldroom fans. Plunge /\ Surface has a sense of wonder, discovery and joy that I think was quite well timed.

Proof: Do You Feel It Now (Feat. Love & Alexa) / Just Like A Dream (Feat. Nikki Segal)

Georgia Maq - Pleaser Genre: Synth-Pop / Alternative

My late addition to my already completed list is this surprising and electrifying debut solo project from the lead singer of Melbourne punk/Alternative group Camp Cope. Just slipping in with an early release right before my cut off date (for my own sanity). This album is nothing like the sound of her band though. Instead Georgia Maq looked to artists like Robyn, LCD Soundsystem and Cut Copy for her solo venture with some delightfully delicious 80′s synth vibes. Pleaser is dark and atmospheric but not devoid of brittle emotion and angst.

Proof: Pleaser / Big Embarrassing Heart

Hozier* - Wasteland, Baby! Genre: Indie Pop / Soul / Folk

Years later, when looking back on Hozier’s career, we may look back at this album as a sort of turning point. The Irish singer through early EP’s and his debut album has always had a powerful form of soulful Folk music that moves people to many emotional states. But on this sophomore album Hozier seemed to figure something out. Incorporating a Motown feel into his music has unleashed it and his strong voice to a new level. Wasteland, Baby! Is a sentimental excursion through love, empowerment and hope.

Proof: Movement / Would That I

James Blake - Assume Form Genre: Progressive Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

English producer and singer James Blake returns with his artful progressive form of pop music that only he can produce. Assume Form continues in his tradition of bending song structure and genres to his will to create powerful evocative landscapes to explore. The experimental artist keeps finding ways to push the boundaries while still making beautiful lush music to get lost in.

Proof: Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) / Where’s The Catch? (Feat. Andre 3000)

Kevin Abstract - ARIZONA BABY Genre: Hip Hop

BROCKHAMPTON founding member drops off his third solo album which is a tender and impacting affair through the life of a figure in hip hop with a lot of hate sent to him, but a lot of love to send out. The openly gay rapper using this as a form of empowerment to let others who may be struggling know they have the power within themselves to make their life something of fulfillment.

Proof: Joyride / Mississippi

Kim Petras - TURN OFF THE LIGHT [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop / House / Dance

Only a few months after dropping her debut album the new, exciting singer wants to keep us all guessing and elaborated on her Halloween EP from last year with this full mixtape. Her debut album is more Synth-Pop with some targeted EDM moments. This is a burst of haunting house music meant to get your heart rate pulsating and feet moving.

Proof: There Will Be Blood / Close Your Eyes

Mabel - High Expectations Genre: R&B / neo-Soul

British female R&B artists are having quite a moment right now. With the success of Jorja Smith, Ella Mai and RAYE last year to Sinead Harnett, Mahalia (it was seriously hard to take her off my list) and Mabel this year. Mabel has already had some hits from her 2017 mixtape Ivy to Roses, so this debute is quite a confident strut with tales of love, love lost and overcoming. The glossy production establishes a bouncy, beach vibe, probably influenced from her origins on the Mediterranean coast of Spain. Her stellar song writing is really what takes the attention throughout as every track has an ability to establish a connection with the listener quite effortlessly.

Proof: Don’t Call Me Up / Mad Love

Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up Genre: Pop / Soul

English/Irish singer Maverick Sabre returns with his third album that’s a unique and soulful jaunt. The 29 year old’s deep voice has a commanding and captivating effect on the listener throughout. The somewhat minimalist backing lets the potent voice and piercing song lyrics be the emotional driving force to great effect.

Proof: Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Weakness

Rapsody - Eve Genre: Hip Hop

For her third album, Grammy nominated rapper Rapsody drops off quite a Tour de force of inspiration and empowerment. Every track is named after a black female icon that has influenced Rapsody. The North Carolina rapper’s lyrics flow and dense lyrics are top notch as always. The production has an increased levity to match the themes. Rapsody has gotten where she is from sheer will and strength within, now she's looking outward to inspirations to find her next step up the ladder.

Proof: Nina / Iman (Feat. SiR & JID)

The List:

Last One Out: Kim Petras - Clarity Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

The debut album from German singer Kim Petras was a long time coming and the build up was quite a slow burn. Since 2017 the 27 year old singer started one by one dropping pretty exciting one-off singles (none of which show up here). To our surprise her first official project was a surprised-dropped Halloween themed EP in 2018 (that, as seen in my Honorable Mentions above, was released this year as a full mixtape). Finally in early 2019 we get Kim’s first full length album and the wait was well worth it. Clarity is an electric and glossy affair of lust, self love and female empowerment. Kim is on quite a tear right now from this to her features on other artists projects that I don’t see slowing down anytime soon.

Proof: Icy / Got My Number / Do Me / Another One

35. 88rising - Head in the Clouds II Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

LA based collective 88rising began as mostly Asian-American rap artists. As they went in a more serious direction with their music and label they began acquiring production and R&B talent that has elevated the output to something to really admire. In the early stages I was a bit dismissive of the artists but the last three years I have increasingly been won over. With the success of Joji’s 2018 solo album the collective chose to lean heavier into the electro-R&B sound on their second compilation album that is paying great dividends here. Head in the Clouds II is filled with spacey tender songs that inspire and captivate. The lessons and progressions everyone in the collective are making adds to my excitement with each release.

Proof: Joji & GENERATIONS from EXILE TRIBE - Need Your Love / Jackson Wang & Higher Brother’s - Tequila Sunrise (Feat. AUGUST 08 & GoldLink) / RHYME SO - Just Used Music Again / NIKI - La La Lost You

34. Karen O* & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock

Two of today’s icons collide on this collaboration album that probably should have happened years ago. Yeah Yeah Yeahs front singer Karen O has influenced so many of today’s alternative artists (especially women led ones), and it’s always a solid veteran karaoke bar move to put in “MAPS”. Meanwhile Danger Mouse has been a go-to producer in both hip hop and alternative and formed a few emblematic pairings on albums with MF Doom (as Danger Mask), CeeLo (as Gnarles Barkley) and James Mercer of The Shins (as Broken Bells). Together Karen and DM are a perfect pair. Karen is as potent as ever singing over a lush and intricate backdrops by the paws of Danger Mouse.

Proof: Lux Prima / Turn the Light / Woman / Redeemer

33. Little Simz - GREY Area Genre: Hip Hop

London rapper comes in swinging with her powerful third full length album. Her flow is so measured and confident and firing on all cylinders here with no wasted syllables or breaths on any verse along the project. The song subject matters dive into some pretty personal and touching territory letting the listener into some intimate thoughts. At 25, we are witnessing an artist really come into their own and it is an inspirational and beautiful thing.

Proof: Offense / Boss / Venom / Pressure (Feat. Little Dragon)

32. Shura* - forevher Genre: Synth-Pop

For her second album, Shura used the same 80’s nostalgic electronic pallet of her debut but this time a bit more slowed tempo with a layer of added sensuality. While her marvelous 2016 debut, Nothing’s Real, focused on the angst of growing into young adulthood, finding ones self and feeling comfortable in your own skin (as she initially struggled coming out publicly as a lesbian artist). On forevher, Shura focuses more intimately on her own relationship. Many of the songs being inspired by precise moments in the relationship with her current girlfriend, there is a noticeable narrowing of the scope. The result is an incredibly tender offering that allows us a glimpse into the UK Singer’s warm heart.

Proof: religion (u can lay your hands on me) / the stage / flyin’ / forever

31. A R I Z O N A - ASYLUM Genre: Synth-Pop

The New Jersey electro-pop band A R I Z O N A follows up their 2017 debut album nicely here. Maintaining their knack for writing catchy as hell hooks along enticing dance inducing electronic production. With features on both Don Diablo’s 2018 album Future and Avicii’s posthumous release, TIM, this year, the band’s notoriety seems to be on a steady incline.

Proof: Nostalgic / Find Someone / Freaking Out / Still Alive

30. VÉRITÉ - new skin Genre: Pop

Brooklyn based singer VÉRITÉ returns with her sophomore album aimed right for all of your feels at once. VÉRITÉ’s sound is understated and delicate, yet packed with raw and identifiable emotions. There is a progression as well from Somewhere in Between with a noticeable bit more comfort in moments where she can let loose. new skin, doesn’t reach out and scream for your attention, but it is a rewarding and sentimental ride for those that give it.

Proof: good for it / body in my bed / think of me / gone

29. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Ezra Koenig and Vampire Weekend took their sweet time for their fifth album. Six years to be exact from 2013’s Modern Vampires of the City. Also in that time founding member Rostam left the group as a full time member (though still contributing to this album on a few songs). The time lapse and shifting of collaborators led to their most sprawling and experimental album to date. There are some swings that don’t quite connect but for the most part this is an exhilarating and unpredictable exploration by the band that is definitely worth the journey.

Proof: Harmony Hall / This Life / How Long? / Sympathy

28. LÉON - LÉON Genre: Pop / Soul

When I saw this was Swedish singer LÉON’s debut I had to google to make sure. It’s been awhile since LÉON first popped on my radar with her beautiful and sultry tunes, but those have been from three EPs. The wait was well worth it for this angelic record of pleasant pop bops, one after another. These tracks make themselves right at home in your subconscious; taking their shoes off and checking what’s in your fridge. LÉON’s voice itself has a gentle nature to it coupled with a raspy, sensuality that is enduring and soothing.

Proof: Lost Time / Falling / Hope Is A Heartache / You and I

27. MUNA - Save The World Genre: Synth-Pop

No sophomore slump for the American trio, MUNA here. Save The World is quite a refreshing progression from their tender 2017 debut. There’s a little more of a free feeling on this album that comes with increased confidence in their craft. The tracks are all incredibly catchy and easily stick with you well after first listen. “Stayway” is the shining jewel on the album and one of my most favorite tracks of 2019.

Proof: Number One Fan / Stayaway / Never / Hands Off

26. Foals - Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost / Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost (Remixes) Genre: Rock / Alternative

The 1st part of English rock band’s 2-album project comes in like a Indy Car full speed for subconcious. The unique melding if Synth based beats and guitar driven grooves creates an enticing energetic sound you can get lost in. Part 2 was a big more reaching and aggressive, where Part 1 had more of a basis track to track that I felt made it the stronger outputting of the two.

Proof: Exits / White Onions / In Degrees / On The Luna // In Degrees (Purple Disco Machine Remix) / Syrups (Vincent Taurelle Remix) / Exits (Lawrence Hart and Little Clubs Remix) / Exits (George FitzGerald Remix)

25. Denzel Curry - ZUU Genre: Hip Hop

Denzel Curry has always had promise to me with his frantic delivery. There were meaningful lyrics there and more focused passion than most of his peers his age in hip hop. The trick was channeling that boiling emotion for the rapper, that he struggled with early. Last year’s TA13OO was the first hint the 24 year old was starting to get this balance in his music. Only ten months later we see a fully formed Denzel with the directed missile that is ZUU. There aren’t many wasted moments here as Denzel focuses on what he needs to say and the most effective way to say it. All the while also making track after track meant to be played at the loudest decibel possible; that all smack the concrete with aggression and no remorse.

Proof: ZUU / RICKY / BIRDZ (Feat. Rick Ross) / CAROLMART (Feat. Ice Billion Berg)

24. Tei Shi - La Linda Genre: R&B / Soul

For those of us following Tei Shi’s career since her early EP days there is a definite increase in her confidence as an artist on this sophomore album. The Argentina-born Colombian artist’s beautiful melodies flow at their own pace with a delicate precision and grace. Tei Shi’s low lit sounds lives in a mellow and assured range making the pockets where she lifts her voice that much more impacting. There’s both a layer of innocence and care as well as a level of empowerment and self-assured sex appeal in her vocals that are impossible to not get enthralled with.

Proof: Alone in the Universe / Even If It Hurts (Feat. Blood Orange) / When He’s Done / A Kiss Goodbye

23. Sigrid - Sucker Punch Genre: Pop

23 year old Norwegian singer Sigrid burst on the scene with her successful debut EP in 2017, and it’s been an effective upward trajectory since. Another EP came out in 2018 before this marvelous debut album. Sucker Punch packs quite a punch of delightfully infectious and identifiable jams. There is an ease to the charismatic mood of this album that shows how genuine Sigrid is with every song written. This young singer has some definite longevity ahead of her in the pop world.

Proof: Basic / Strangers / Don’t Feel Like Crying / Don’t Kill My Vibe

22. Charli XCX - Charli Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

After her sophomore album, 2014’s Sucker, English singer Charli XCX stated she felt a bit restricted in her solo career and decided to break out of the standard production method. A whole album was made but leaked online and Charli decided to scrap the project and began tinkering with her music more. During this period first came the 2016 collaboration EP with the producer SOPHIE, Vroom Vroom. Then in 2017 came two mixtapes. It was these two mixtapes Charli started realizing how she can warp and bend music to her will. Her production became more of a unique melding of dancey Synth-Pop with abrasive Electronic sounds. Her hooks were still top notch but the song structure began to become more of a free flowing organism then a structured framework. Taking what she learned from SOPHIE, and the two mixtapes into her third album, Charli is a project of abundance and unfiltered passion. The feelings are real and human but are focused into a diamond and refracted out into numerous directions. The description sounds chaotic but there still is a very controlled nature to the chaos of this vibrant pop. Charli has found a way to manipulate pop music to contort like a complicated yoga stance. She's Neo from The Matrix. I suggest just plugging in and letting the complex machine she built take you away.

Proof: Gone (w/ Christine and the Queens) / Blame It On Your Love (Feat. Lizzo) / Silver Cross / February 2017 (Feat. Clairo & Yaeji)

21. Bishop Briggs - CHAMPION Genre: R&B / Pop / Soul

Less than 18 months after her roaring debut album, British singer Bishop Briggs is back with her sophomore effort. CHAMPION is a bit more subdued than last year’s Church of Scars, but still the centerpiece is the powerful vocals. My only critique is that I feel the short timeline of this project when I listen. I don’t know the reason for such a short turn around, but some of the songs don’t feel as fleshed out as its predecessor that was years in the making. Despite that critique, this is still a beautiful and authoritative collection of power ballads meant to inspire and embolden.

Proof: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? / CHAMPION (Feat. Tom Morello) / LONELY / WILD

20. Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Detroit singer/rapper Lizzo has been around a few years now, but her third album was definitely her break out to insurmountable success and admiration. Songs like “Coconut Oil”, “Good As Hell” and “Water Me” (added on the deluxe version of this album) would get some attention, especially after featured on television shows. But in 2019 the stars aligned for Lizzo’s take over. Despite the increase in notoriety (to now include the backlash from people tired of her) let’s not overshadow that this music and its message is worthy of the attention. Lizzo’s dramatic and vibrant mixture of R&B, Hip Hop, Soul, Jazz, Funk and Gospel wrapped in a fast paced train with the breaks cut is quite the exhilarating experience. This coupled with her unapologetic message of self love and respect created quite the energetic Molotov cocktail for her to throw in our ears and get our bodies up and moving. Those that may be tired of her, well either learn to ignore or deal with it, because Lizzo is not going anywhere anytime soon.

Proof: Cuz I Love You / Jerome / Tempo (Feat. Missy Elliott) / Water Me

19. Tory Lanez - Chixtape 5 [Mixtape] Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Having now established himself in the industry with three albums. Tory decided to take a trip back to his beginnings with this album/mixtape drop. Early in his career, Tory had four Chixtape mixtapes that were all influenced by the late 90’s/early 2000’s R&B Tory was raised on. For the fifth entry, and first since he has become established, Tory took this to a whole new level not only directly sampling classics from that timeline but also featuring the artists themselves. The result is a blast of nostalgia and sexy-ass grooves that I dare your hips to stay still the whole hour. I haven’t heard a lot of Tory’s early catalog but since his debut album this is solidly my favorite project by the Canadian Singer. The nostalgia is a bit of a crutch but that doesn’t make this project any less successful or enjoyable. I am squarely in the wheelhouse of who this is made for so there is a bias here but this was probably my most fun first listening experience of the year.

Proof: The Trade (Feat. Jagged Edge & Jermaine Dupri) / Beauty in the Benz (Feat. Snoop Dogg) / Still Waiting (Feat. Trey Songz) / If You Gotta… (Feat. Fabolous)

18. Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings Genre: R&B / Pop

2015’s Uptown Special with the mega-hit “Uptown Funk” was a whirlwind for Mark Ronson’s career as a solo artist. Already a prolific producer behind the boards of some of the most important albums over the last 15 years, Ronson’s solo career has been a bit under the radar until 2015. Which is why the about-face from glitz and abundance to a tender collection of songs about heartbreak is a bit of a surprise. But not a surprise I am mad about. The infectious, dancey funk we know from Ronson is still very much present on Late Night Feelings, but wrapped in a blanket of anguish only broken love can bring. Despite it’s more subtle and depressing themes, Ronson has stated this is the solo album he has spent the most time creating and that level of care is very apparent.

Proof: Late Night Feelings (Feat Lykke Li) / Find U Again (Feat. Camila Cabello) / Pieces Of Us (Feat. King Princess) / Why Hide (Feat. Diana Gordon)

17. Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell! Genre: Pop / Soul

My long time admiration for Lana’s artistry and craft are well documented on here. Happening on her homemade “Video Games” video on YouTube was one of the catalysts to creating this blog. A memory I will always cherish is seeing her in 2011 at the Troubadour in Hollywood when she only had about 6 songs on YouTube to sing. Now, six albums later her music still is some of the most moving and affecting out there for me. Norman Fucking Rockwell! Is probably Lana’s most consistent and assured record since Ultraviolence. Lyrics wise this may be her most crisp ever.

Proof: Venice Bitch / Fuck it I love you / The greatest / Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it

16. Seven Lions* - Ophelia Volume 1 Genre: Electronic / Trance / Dance

Prolific electronic producer Seven Lions has long been one of my favorite artists. 2018 and 2019 have been excitingly very busy years for the Californian DJ/Producer. Starting his own label Ophelia Records in 2018, 7L has used it as an opportunity to seek out great up and coming electronic artists like Crystal Skies, Jason Ross, MitiS, Trivecta, Wooli and others as well as collaborate with other greats in the game such as Above and Beyond, Dabin, SLANDER, NGHTMRE and Gryffin. Ophelia Volume 1 is a collection of many of the singles released by 7L over the last two years and is quite the gripping burst of excitement and emotions. This compilation album shows off what is 7L’s best musical attributes. His diversity in sound, effortlessly switching between many subgenres, including Trance, Future Bass, Dubstep, Drum and Bass, from song to song, sometimes making a switch within a single song. The other aspect is 7L’s deliberate and effective use of dead space to create a moment of floating before a bellowing drops knocks your ass back down to earth. His pockets of tranquility make these tracks more living and breathing forms of passion and sentiment than normally associated with the mechanical genre.

Proof: Start Again (Feat. Fiora) / Ocean (w/ Jason Foss Feat. Jonathan Mendelsohn) / First Time (w/ SLANDER & Dabin Feat. Dylan Matthew) / Dreamin’ (Feat. Fiora) // Bonus: See The End (w/ Above & Beyond Feat. Opposite The Other)

15. Gallant - Sweet Insomnia Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soulful and sultry vocals of Gallant return with another steamy alt-R&B soiree. The overall vibe is a bit more mellow than his thunderous 2016 debut Ology. The main driving force is still the forceful emotion driven vocals from the American singer. R&B has been a genre pulled into various directions over the last 8 or so years, sometimes for good, sometimes at it’s detriment. Gallant and his potent falsetto is a nostalgic artist in 2019 pointing to the late 90’s, early 2000’s neo-soul movement. Fans of artists like Musiq Soulchild, Maxwell, Raheem Devaughn and of course D’Angelo will get some warm feelings from Gallant’s seductive grooves.

Proof: Crimes / Hurt / Compromise (Feat. Sabrina Claudio) / Céline

14. G Flip - About Us Genre: Pop

Melbourne multi-instrumentalist and singer Georgia Flipo, or G-Flip, introduces herself with this tender and moving debut. About Us is sort of an autobiographical story about Georgia and her girlfriend over a five year span that includes a break up and eventually make up. Georgia’s vocals are both commanding and approachable. The song writing is effortlessly relatable and potent in the life of love. Georgia would write most of the instrument riffs and have others play it during recording but the most unsung hero is her command of the instrument she first learn and played herself; the drums. The emotional impact and intensity of these songs all get magnified in the later stages when Georgia grabs the sticks and begins going to town. About Us is both a subtle piece of pop yet also a cinematic and emotionally captivating one.

Proof: Lover / I Am Not Afraid / Morning / About You

13. Becky Hill - Get To Know Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

After being a semi-finalist on The Voice UK, the potent and soulful vocals of UK singer Becky Hill has become a go-to feature in the European house world. Becky’s commanding voice is a perfect compliment to house production to not be overpowered and bring a level of vivacity and vitality to the composition. Get To Know is a compilation of those features and one-off singles from the last three years to get more people familiar with Becky as she takes more creative control of her solo career. I’m expecting much more to come from the singer in 2020; so keep an eye and both ears out.

Proof: I Could Get Used To This (w/ Weiss) / Piece of Me (w/ MK) / Sunrise in the East / False Alarm (w/ Matoma)

12. BANKS - III Genre: alt-R&B / Pop

On her third album, singer BANKS is showing off an impressive increase in prowess and courage in her music. Although, I still really enjoyed BANKS sophomore album The Altar, there were some growing pains visible in it. III on the other hand comes out much more competent, coherent and confident. The noticeable addition of Hudson Mohawke’s production and influence is one of the most noticeable additions. His powerful distorted synthed-out drums gives quite a thunderous backdrop for BANKS sultry vocals to sway back and forth through. The song writing has notably continued to get even better for someone that already had quite the skill at. I’ve followed BANKS since she only had a couple songs out on SoundCloud and the journey has been quite a rewarding one for us fans.

Proof: Gimme / Look What You’re Doing To Me (Feat. Francis & The Lights) / Propaganda / The Fall

11. Gryffin* - Gravity Genre: Electronic / Dance

Success has come rapidly for Gryffin, releasing his first original song only four years ago. Despite that short time, there is a level of sophistication to Gryffin’s blending of house and pop music that feels like the work of a veteran. It helps he has really filled up his phone contacts with some of today’s top Electronic producers and rising pop singers to collaborate with. Gryffin’s debut is quite a reflective and illuminating galaxy of deep emotions and expression. Every song on Gravity has identifiable passion and sentiments while enclosed in a glitzy exterior; feelings with strobe lights. It’s been over two years since the first song from this album “Nobody Compares to You” was released showing Gryffin has the ability to make us really feel emotions while also bust out dancing. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go have a good cry in the club.

Proof: All You Need To Know (w/ SLANDER Feat. Calle Lehmann) / Baggage (w/ Gorgon City & AlunaGeorge) / Hurt People (w/ Aloe Blacc) / Nothing Compares To You (Feat. Katie Pearlman)

10. Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Genre: Pop

A chance encounter with Pharrell that went viral was what started Maggie’s career, but she took her time with this debut to make sure that one video wasn’t all that defines it. Heard It In A Past Life is a subtle flex of the new singer’s musical dexterity. On the surface the tracks all flow at a mellow cohesive pace. Maggie’s soft and sensual vocals are the first thing you appreciate when listening. When you give a little deeper of a dive you realize the strong themes Maggie is conveying as well as a sophisticated diversity in her sound that’s more than originally meets the ear.

Proof: Give A Little / The Knife / Alaska / Say It / On + Off // Bonus: Love You For A Long Time

9. Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Genre: Indie Pop / Electronic

On his second release (first full length album) since changing his name from Chet Faker to his real name Nick Murphy, the Australian artist has some new tricks up his sleeve. Run Fast Sleep Naked is a more expansive sound then his Chet Faker beginnings and we are all quite rewarded by it. The subtle Synth-Indie pop melding is still present. But there always was a form of restraint in his early work that Nick has seemed to let go more of here allowing his emotion to burst out at key moments a bit unfiltered and untethered.

Proof: Harry Takes Drugs On The Weekend / Sanity / Yeah I Care / Never No / Dangerous

8. Madeon - Good Faith Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

2019 has been an interesting year of growth for EDM. With artists like Big Wild, ILLENIUM, Goldroom, GRiZ, Flux Pavilion and others showing some added depth, discovery and diversity in their sounds. That is continued here with Madeon’s four years in the making follow up to his 2015 debut album Adventure. His first album was quite a glorious introduction but very steeped in the bold and at times lumbering mechanical nature of Electronic music, but with this follow up there is a dramatic divergence. Good Faith is quite a romp through R&B, Gospel and Funk influenced synth wonderlands meant to inspire souls and entice movement. The French producer created a lush world to wonder around, despite being Electronic music, that is devoid of any plasticity for organic and visual expression. The closing two minutes are completely devoid of vocals, yet still packs a powerful emotional punch, leaving you wanting to instantly hit replay.

Proof: Dreams Dreams Dreams / All My Friends / Nirvana / No Fear No More / Borealis

7. Tyler, The Creator - IGOR Genre: alt-R&B / Hip Hop

After a frustrating start to his career I saw some of the promise in Tyler, The Creator come to life on his 2015 third album Cherry Bomb. By 2017 Tyler had found his sweet spot with the marvelous Flower Boy. Being someone always eager to learn and grow on his craft, Tyler didn’t remain in that sweet spot, instead abruptly left it in his rearview mirror for his follow up in the daring IGOR. Long gone are the low-fi, abrasive hip hop vernacular of Bastard, Goblin and Wolf here. Instead, Tyler created a unique and colliding world of R&B, Hip Hop, Funk and Synth-Pop. Further showing his evolution Tyler tells a heartfelt story across the album of a man, Tyler, dating another man, who’s also dating his ex-girlfriend. When Tyler tells his feelings for his lover, which results in him starting to drift back to his ex-girlfriend, leading to heartbreak for Tyler. The character Igor represents the negative tendencies of Tyler, as his heart is broken and begins to take over throughout the album’s duration. Coming out the other side the album ends with sadness, but still with a level of hope that I’m sure anybody can relate to who’s had their heart broken.

Proof: IGOR’S THEME (Feat. Lil Uzi Vert) / EARFQUAKE (Feat. Playboy Carti & Charli Wilson) / I THINK (Feat. Solange & Ryan Betty) / A BOY IS A GUN* / WHAT’S GOOD (Feat. Slowthai)

6. SebastiAn - Thirst Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

8 years after his debut album, the French producer is ready to step out from the background again with this thrilling collection of bold electronic pop. Known best to the general for working with Frank Ocean on his Endless album (and being the voice on “Facebook Story” on Blonde), SebastiAn has also worked extensively with Daft Punk, Kavinsky, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Beastie Boys, Block Party and others over the years. Thirst is a wild ride in a dark dystopian pop landscape that has a tough exterior but a tender interior. The features from pop and R&B are expertly placed among the distorted and thunderous production. The industrial feel may seem a bit artificial at first, but there is an organic heartbeat under the mechanical exoskeleton worth exploring.

Proof: Doorman (Feat. Syd) / Better Now (Feat. Mayer Hawthorne) / Pleasant (Feat. Charlotte Gainsbourg) / Sober (Feat. Bakar) / Run for Me (Feat. Gallant)

5. Khalid - Free Spirit Genre: Pop / R&B / Soul

I gushed on both my last two year lists about Khalid with his debut album and last year’s EP; all that is still very much relevant in 2019. Khalid is one of today’s top young talents. His evocative voice can fit into so many different environments. Straight Pop, R&B, Hip Hop, Country, EDM, Rock, Khalid’s voice is quite the emotive chameleon. His own albums are a bit more straightforward pop and R&B that with every release keeps getting more polished and evolved with his songwriting. Already at 21 the singer has become a go-to for album features and movie soundtracks; I don’t expect this to change for quite some time.

Proof: Better / Talk / Right Back / Outta My Head (w/ John Mayer) / Twenty One

4. Big Wild - Superdream Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

To many fans of the EDM scene Big Wild has been well known before his debut album dropped. The producer was one the first signees to ODESZA’s label after dropping multiple great remixes. His debut EP last year only increased his notoriety. What we didn’t know if he had a different plan for his sound that would be introduced to the world on this sneaky debut full length. Superdream still has plenty of his EDM beginnings throughout but interwoven in a much more complex package then we anticipated. Notes of 70’s/80’s pop to 90’s R&B make a surprisingly profound presence dancing through the intersecting synths and drums. Big Wild sings more than he ever has in a soft hushed tone that glides his bold production so smoothly. The Electronic genre is in the middle of quite a renaissance currently and yet more creative artists like Big Wild keep showing up and taking the sound to new directions we haven’t seen before.

Proof: Joypunks / 6’s to 9’s (Feat. Rationale) / No Words / Maker / She Makes Magic

3. ILLENIUM* - ASCEND Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Denver DJ ILLENIUM found quite a sweet spot on his 2017 sophomore album, Awake, with his euphoric electronic music. Anybody who claims EDM is all plasticity without emotion that other music genres can evoke, I dare you to listen to Awake and not feel the raw human emotion bursting with every dramatic drop. However, Nicolas Miller was not complacent and has expanded his sound in 2019. Taking some inspiration no doubt from the late great Avicii, there’s plenty of experimenting with genres both externally and internally to the EDM landscape. With great ease, effort care and skill the tracks maneuver from Pop/Future Bass to House to Trance, to R&B to Country/Rock to Dubstep. The emotions continue to be the driver with tracks about love, heartbreak, feeling lost and even Miller’s opening up about his past issues with drug abuse. The Jon Bellion assisted “Good Things Fall Apart” and Chainsmokers partnered “Takeaway” are the tracks most people go in knowing, but powerful tracks like the lightning bolt opener “Hold On” to the Rock/Dubstep powerhouse of “Pray” to the R&B Ear drum slapper that's “Gorgeous” steal the listeners attention through this whirlwind of melodic feels.

Proof: Hold On (w/ Georgia Ku) / Good Things Fall Apart (w/ Jon Bellion) / Pray (Feat. Kameron Alexander) / Gorgeous (w/ Bipolar Sunshine & Blanke) / Lonely (w/ Chandler Leighton) // Bonus: Ekali & ILLENIUM - Hard To Say Goodbye (Feat. Chloe Angelides)

2. Nilüfer Yanya* - Miss Universe Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / R&B

It could be too easy to take Nilüfer Yanya’s sensual music for granted, but those that pay close attention are very much rewarded. Her subtle and mellow melodies can slip into the background but by the time her infectious choruses hit you may find your shoulders swaying and feet tapping without thinking about it. The UK Born new artist has such an effortless feel to her genre melding sound of soul and indie pop. Her unique, raspy voice among the groovy, plucky guitar riffs has an ability to relay emotions while also keeping a veil of mystery. Miss Universe is probably 2019’s most consistent record, no song is out of place in this whole strong debut album.

Proof: In Your Head / Paralysed / Angels / Tears / Heavyweight Champion of the Year

1. Labrinth - Imagination & the Misfit Kid Genre: Pop / alt-R&B

Sometimes it takes some time to find your comfortably and inspiration. English singer Labrinth’s debut album was released over seven years ago. In the time since the powerful voice, proficient productions or potent pen of the singer would pop up here and there with one-off singles, song features ("Losers” with The Weeknd off Beauty Behind The Madness was one great one), production or writer credits. 2019 though was quite the change in pace. The marathon of a year started with forming the supergroup and dropping the debut album of LSD with Sia and Diplo. Labrinth then was the lead composer on the music score for one of the year's best new shows on HBO’s “Euphoria”. This all was cultivated with this magnificent and expressive sophomore effort. Imagination & the Misfit Kid is a layered project of the many influences Labrinth has picked up over his lifetime packaged together in something innovative yet also familiar. On the surface the music is pretty crowd pleasing pop but when dissected more there's rich notes of music genres colliding including R&B, Gospel, Blues, UK Hip Hop and Electronic ingredients. The production is its own cunning beast, at times it is muted and let’s the great voice of Labrinth take the reins, only to come thundering in to smack you in the temple. There’s an obvious cinematic theme carried through in the songs that is driven home with the song titles and short skits. Labrinth is tapping into your ears while making a visual art piece. One you’re meant to close your eyes and let the melodies and lyrics help you visualize. “Can’t tell me the world don’t mind, a miracle.”

Proof: Miracle / Dotted Line / All For Us (w/ Zendaya) / Something’s Got To Give / Where The Wild Things Are / Oblivion (Feat. Sia) // Bonus: Don’t Fence Me In

Others:

Good: Aaron Aye - F.E.A.R., Ada Lea - what we say in private, Africa Express - EGOL, AJ Tracey - AJ Tracey, AKON - Akonda, The Alchemist - Yacht Rock 2, Aldous Harding - Designer, Alex Cameron - Miami Memory, Algee Smith - atl, Alice Merton - Mint, Allen Stone - Building Balance, Allie X - Super Sunset (Analog), The Amazons - Future Dust, Andrew Combs - Ideal Man, Angel Olsen - All Mirrors, Angie Stone - Full Circle, Ann Marie - Pretty Psycho, Anna Wise - As If It Were Forever, Ardalan - Mr. Good, Ari Lennox - Shea Butter Baby, Ariana Grande - thank u, next, Armin van Buuren - Balance, A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats, Asiahn - Love Train 2, Audien - Escapism, AURORA - A Different Kind of Human, avery r. young - tubman., Avicii - TIM, A1 - Turbulence, Baby Rose - To Myself, Bad Bunny - X 100PRE, Barrie - Happy to Be Here, Bastille - Doom Days, Bat For Lashes - Lost Girls, Bazzi - Soul Searching, Beast Coast - Escape from New York, Beck - Hyperspace, Becky G. - MALA SANTA, Beirut - Gallipoli, Berhana - HAN, Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center, Betty Who - Betty, Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift [Music Inspired by the Motion Picture], Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. IZ HERE, Big K.R.I.T. - TDT, Big Thief - Two Hands, Big Thief - U.F.O.F., Black Belt Eagle Scout - At The Party With My Brown Friends, The Black Keys - “Let’s Rock”, Black Milk - DiVE, bLAck pARty - Endless Summer, blackbear - ANONYMOUS, Blaq Tuxedo - Blaq Tuxedo, Blaqk Audio - Only Things We Love, Blasterjaxx - Perspective, Bleached - Don’t You Think You’ve Had Enough?, Blood Orange - Angel’s Pulse [Mixtape], Blu & Oh No - A Long Red Hot Los Angeles Summer Night, Boogie - Everything’s for Sale, Boy Harsher - Careful, Boy Harsher - Country Girl Uncut, Boy Scouts - Free Company, Brittany Howard - Jaime, BROCKHAMPTON - GINGER, Broods - Don’t Feed The Pop Monster, Brother Ali - Secrets & Escape, Bun B & Statik Selektah - TrillStatik [Mixtape], Burna Boy - African Giant, Busy Signal - Parts of the Puzzle, Caamp - By and By, Cage The Elephant - Social Cues, Camila Cabello - Romance, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated, Caroline Polacheck - PANG, Casey Veggies - Organic, Casey Veggies & Rockie Fresh - Fresh Veggies [Mixtape], Cashmere Cat - PRINCESS CATGIRL, Cassius - Dreems, Catching Flies - Silver Linings, Cehryl - Slow Motion, The Chainsmokers - World War Joy, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, Chase & Status - RTRN II JUNGLE, Chelsea Wolfe - Birth of Violence, The Chemical Brothers - No Geography, Cherry Glazer - Stuffed & Ready, Childish Major - Dirt Road Diamond, Chinatown Slalom - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, Choosey & Exile - Black Beans, Chris Brown - Indigo, Chris Lorenzo - Late Checkout, Chris Staples - Holy Moly, Chromatics - Closer To Grey, Ciara - Beauty Marks, Cigarettes After Sex - Cry, City and Colour - A Pill for Loneliness, Citizen Cope - Heroin and Helicopters, Clairmont The Second - The Second’s Do You Drive?, Clairo - Immunity, clipping. - There Existed an Addiction to Blood, Cold War Kids - New Age Norms 1, Coldplay - Everyday Life, Collie Buddz - Hybrid, Common - Let Love, Cross Record - Cross Record, Crumb - Jinx, Crystal Fighters - Gaia & Friends, Cuco - Para Mi, Curren$y & Statik Selektah - Gran Turismo, CZARFACE & Ghostface Killa - Czarface Meets Ghostface, DaBaby - KIRK, Damar Jackson - U2, Dame D.O.L.L.A. - Big D.O.L.L.A., Danny Brown - uknowhatimsaying¿, Dave East - Survival, David B - BLEU, Dawn Richard - New Breed, Deadmau5 - here’s the drop, Deadmau5 - Polar (Music from the Netflix Film), Deaton Chris Anthony - BO Y, Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?, Delta Heavy - Only In My Dreams, Dermot Kennedy* - Dermot Kennedy, Devin Morrison - Bussin’, DIIV - Deceiver, Dillon Francis - Magic Is Real [Mixtape], Dizzy Fae - NO GMO [Mixtape], DJ Khaled - Father of Asahd, DJ Shadow - Our Pathetic Age, DJ Snake - Carte Blanche, Doja Cat - Hot Pink, Dope Lemon - Smooth Big Cat, Dounia - THE SCANDAL, Drake - Care Package, Drax Project - Drax Project, Dreamville & J. Cole - Return of the Dreamers III, Dreezy - Big Dreez, DROELOE* - A Promise Is Made, The Drums - Brutalism, DUCKWRTH - THE FALLING MAN, Earl Sweatshirt - FEET OF CLAY, EARTHGANG - Mirrorland, Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project, Electric Guest - KIN, Electric Youth - Memory Emotion, ELHAE - Trouble In Paradise, Elle Varner - Ellevation, Emeli Sandé - REAL LIFE, Emmavie - Honeymoon, Emily Wells - The World Is Too ___ For You, Eric Bellinger - Cuffing Season 3, Eric Bellinger - Saved by the Bellinger [Mixtape], Eric Bellinger - The Rebirth 2, E-40 - Practice Makes Paper, Fabolous - Summertime Shoot 3: Coldest Summer Ever [Mixtape], The Faint - Egowerk, Fantasia - Sketchbook, FEELS - Post Earth, FIDLAR - Almost Free, Fitz & The Tantrums - All The Feels, FKA twigs - MAGDALENE, The Flaming Lips - The King’s Mouth: Music and Songs, Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape], Flying Lotus - Flamagra, Frances Cone - Late Riser, Frankie Cosmos - Close It Quietly, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Bandana, FRENSHIP* - Vacation, Freya Ridings - Freya Ridings, Friendly Fires - Inflorescent, Froth - Duress, The Game - Born 2 Rap, Gang Starr - One of the Best Yet, GASHI - GASHI, Gary Clark Jr. - This Land, Gena Rose Bruce - Can’t Make You Love Me, Gesaffelstein - Hyperion, The Get Up Kids - Problems, Giggs - BIG BAD…, girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary, The Glorious Sons - A War on Everything, gnash - we, Goo Goo Dolls - Miracle Pill, grandson - a modern tragedy vol. 3, GRiZ - Ride Waves, GTA - La Nueva Clásica (Remixes), Gus Dapperton - Where Polly People Go to Read, HÆLOS - Any Random Kindness, half●alive - Now, Not Yet, , Hatchie - Keepsake, Hayden James - Between Us, Hayden James - Between Us (Remixes), The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage, Headie One - Music x Road [Mixtape], Helado Negro - This Is How You Smile, Hermitude - Pollyanarchy, Hibou - Haive, Higher Brothers - Five Stars, Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson, Holly Herndon - PROTO, Hoodie Allen - Whatever USA, Hot Chip - A Bath Full of Ecstasy, Ida Mae - Chasing Light, IDER - Emotional Education, IDK - Is He Real?, Iggy Azalea - In My Defense, India.Arie - Worthy, Ingrid Michaelson - Stranger Songs, Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve, Intellexual - Intellexual, Isaac Dunbar - balloons don’t float here, Isabella - 12 Angels, J Balvin & Bad Bunny - OASIS, Jack & Jack - A Good Friend Is Nice, JackLNDN - Thoughts, Jacob Latimore - Connection2, Jacquees - King of R&B, Jacques Greene - Dawn Chorus, Jade Bird - Jade Bird, Jai Wolf - The Cure To Loneliness, Jamie Cullum - Taller, James Blunt - Once Upon A Mind, Jamila Woods - LEGACY! LEGACY!, The Japanese House - Good At Falling, Jax Jones - Snacks, Jay Som - Anak Ko, Jayda G - Significant Changes, Jaden - ERYS, JAY1 - One Wave, Jenny Hval - The Practice of Love, Jenny Lewis - On The Line, J-E-T-S - Zoospa, Jidenna - 85 to Africa, Joell Ortiz - Monday, Johnny Gill - Game Changer II, JOHNNYSWIM - Moonlight, JOHKOY - 404, Jonas Brothers - Happiness Begins, Jordan Rakei - Origin, Joseph - Good Luck, Kid, Josephine Wiggs - We Fall, JPEGMAFIA - All My Heroes Are Cornballs, The Juan MacLean - The Brighter Light, Judah & The Lion - Pep Talks, Juice WRLD - Death Race for Love, Julian - Sydney, Juls - Colour, KAINA - Next to the Sun, Kanye West - JESUS IS KING, Karnaval Blues - You Come With the Rain, Kash Doll - Stacked, Kaskade - Redux 003, KÁRYYN - The Quanta Series, Kayzo - Unleashed, Keane - Cause and Effect, Kelsey Lu - Blood, Kemba - Gilda, Kembe X - I Was Depressed Until I Made This, Kerli - Shadow Works, Kevin Gates - I’m Him, Kevin George - My Darlings a Demon, Kevin Morby - Oh My God, K.Flay - Solutions, Kindness* - Something Like a War, King Princess - Cheap Queen, Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari, Ladytron - Ladytron, Lafawndah - Ancestor Boy, Larry June - Out the Trunk [Mixtape], The Lemonheads - Varshons 2, Lexie Liu - 2030, Liam Gallagher - Why Me? Why Not, LICK - Dark Vibe Order, Lil Skies - Shelby, Lissie - When I’m Alone: The Piano Retrospective, Little Brother - May The Lord Watch, Local Natives - Violet Street, Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Lolo Zouaï - High Highs to Low Lows, Lost Frequencies - Alive and Feeling Fine, Louis Futon - Way Back When, Loyle Carner - Not Waving, But Drowning, LSD - Labrinth, Sia & Diplo Presents… LSD, Lucky Daye - Painted, Lucy Rose - No Words Left, Luh Kel - Mixed Emotions, The Lumineers - III, LV - Xcited, Lyfe Jennings - 777, Mac Ayers - Juicebox, Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy, Mahalia - Love and Compromise, Malibu Ken (Aesop Rock & TOBACCO) - Malibu Ken, Manatee Commune* - PDA, Mansionair - Shadowboxer, Marc E. Bassy - PMD, Maren Morris - GIRL, Maribou State - Kingdoms in Color Remixed, Marika Hackman - Any Human Friend, MARINA - LOVE + FEAR, MarMar Oso - Oso Different, Marshmello - Joytime III, Matt Maeson - Bank on the Funeral, MED & Guilty Simpson - Child of the Jungle, Meg Mac - Hope, Megan Thee Stallion - Fever, Melii - phAses, Men I Trust - Oncle Jazz, Mereba - The Jungle Is The Only Way Out, Mermaidens - Look Me in the Eye, Michael Kiwanuka - KIWANUKA, MIKA - My Name Is Michael Holbrook, MIKE - Tears of Joy, Mike Posner - Keep Going [Mixtape], Mike Posner - A Real Good Kid, Milky Chance - Mind the Moon, Mr. Carmack - Demolish [Mixtape], Mr. Carmack - Viista, Mr Hudson - WHEN THE MACHINE STOP, Mndsgn - Snaxx, Moksi - The Return of House Music, Montell Jordan - Masterpiece, Moon Boots - Bimini Road, Moon Duo - Stars Are the Light, Moonchild - Little Ghost, Murs & 9th Wonder - Brighter Daze, Murs, 9th Wonder & The Soul Collective - The Iliad is Dead and the Odyssey is Over, Mustard - Perfect Ten, Nao Yoshioka - Undeniable, Nas - The Lost Tapes 2, Nathan Bajar - playroom, The National - I Am Easy to Find, Necking - Cut Your Teeth, The New Pornographers - In the Morse Code of Brake Lights, NF - The Search, Nick Catchdubs - Ufo, Nicole Bus - Kairos, Nina Nesbitt - The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change, Noah Kahan - Busyhead, Norah Jones - Begin Again, Obie Trice - The Fifth, Octavian - Endorphins, Of Monsters and Men - FEVER DREAM, Offset - Father of Four, Oliver Dion - Exposed, Olivia O’Brien - Was It Even Real?, Panda Bear - Buoys, Patoranking - Wilmer, Pete Tong & HERO - Chilled Classics, Pete Yorn - Caretakers, Petit Biscuit* - We Were Young (The Playlist), P!nk - Hurts 2B Human, Pixies - Beneath the Eyrie, PJ Morton - PAUL, Plaid - Polymer, P-LO - SHINE, PnB Rock - TrapStar Turnt PopStar, Pond - Tasmania, Post Malone - Hollywood’s Bleeding, Priests - The Seduction of Kansas, Prince - Originals, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Quelled Chris - Guns, R.LUM.R. - Surfacing, Ra Ra Riot - Superbloom, The Raconteurs - Help Us Stranger, Raphael Saadiq - Jimmy Lee, Ras Kass - Soul on Ice 2, Rat Boy - International Unknown, Raveena - Lucid, Reese LaFlare - Final Fantasy, The Regrettes - How Do You Love?, Reptaliens - VALIS, Rex Orange County - Pony, Rich Brian - The Sailor, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours 2, Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats - Anger Management, Rhi - The Pale Queen, Rhye - Spirit, Rockie Fresh - Destination, Rudimental - Test Our Differences, RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Remixes, RY X - Unfurl, Sabrina Carpenter - Singular Act II, SAFE - STAY, Said The Whale - Cascadia, SAINt JHN - Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs, St. Lucia - Remixed, Sammie - Everlasting, Sampa The Great - The Return, San Fermin - The Cormorant I, (Sandy) Alex G - House of Sugar, Santana - Africa Speaks, Santi - Mandy & The Jungle, Sara Bareilles - Amidst the Chaos, SASAMI - SASAMI, ScHoolboy Q - CrasH Talk, Seasons - American Authors, Set It Off - Midnight, Set Mo - Surrender, Shafiq Husayn - The Loop, Shari Marie - Reflection LP, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow, Sheer Mag - A Distant Call, Shlohmo - The End, Shy Girls - Bird on the Wing, Silversun Pickups - Widow’s Weeds, Sinead Harnett - Lessons in Love, SiR - Chasing Summer, sir Was - Holding On To A Dream, Skepta - Ignorance Is Bliss, The Script - Sunset & Full Moons, Sleater-Kinney - The Center Won’t Hold, Sleeping With Sirens - How It Feels to Be Lost, slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain, Slum Village - The Source, Smif-N-Wessun - The All, Snail Mail - Habit, Snake City - Hurts, SNBRN - Solé, Snoh Aalgra - Ugh, those feels again, Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Thank Me, Snow Patrol - Reworked, SOAK - Grim Town, SOB X RBE & Hit-Boy - Family Not a Group, Solange - When I Get Home, Somos - Prison On A Hill, SonReal - The Aaron LP, StayLoose - The City, Stef Chura - Midnight, Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI, Stirgull Simpson - SOUND & FURY, Styles P - S.P. The Goat: Ghost of All Time, Sudan Archives - Athena, Sui Zhen - Losing Linda, Summer Walker - Over It, SYML - SYML, The Tallest Man On Earth - I Love You, Talos - Far Out Dust, Tank - ELEVATION, Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon, Tayla Parx - We Need To Talk, Taylor Swift - Lover, Tech N9ne - N9na, Tegan and Sara - Hey, I’m Just Like You, TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep, Terri Lyne Carrington & Social Science - Waiting Game, Terror Jr - Unfortunately, Terror Jr, Tiësto - Together, Tinashe - Songs For You, Tink - Voicemails, The-Dream - Menage a Trois: Sextape Vol. 1,2&3, Thees Handz (The Grouch & Murs) - Thees Handz, Thom Yorke - ANIMA, T-Pain - 1UP, TOBi - STILL, Tom Walker - What A Time To Be Alive, Tora - Can’t Buy the Mood, Toro y Moi - Outer Peace, Tory Lanez - International Fargo [Mixtape], Tourist - Wild, Tove Lo - Sunshine Kitty, Trae tha Truth - Exhale, Travis Thompson - Reckless Endangerment, Trevor Jackson - Rough Draft 2, Trina - The One, Tritonal - U & Me, Tropical Fuck Storm - Braindrops, Tuxedo - Tuxedo III, Two Door Cinema Club - False Alarm, Tycho - Weather, Tyla Yaweh - Heart Full of Rage, Vagabon - Vagabon, Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Onward to Zion, Various Artists - DEATH STRANDING: Timefall (Original Music from the World of Death Stranding), Various Artists - For The Throne (Music Inspired by the HBO Series Game of Thrones), Various Artists - Music Inspired by the Film Roma, Various Artists - 13 Reasons Why (Season 3) [Music Inspired by the Netflix Series], Velvet Negroni - NEON BROWN, Wale - Wow... That’s Crazy, Walk Off The Earth - HERE WE GO!, Wallows - Nothing Happens, Walshy Fire - Walshy Fire Presents: ABENG, Wand - Laughing Matter, Weezer - Weezer (The Teal Album), Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising, Wilco - Ode to Joy, Wild Belle - Everybody One of a Kind, William Black* - Pages, Willow - Willow, Whitney - Forever Turned Around, Wretch 32 - Upon Reflection, X Ambassadors - ORION, Xavier Omär & Sango - Moments Spent Loving You, YACHT - Chain Tipping, YBN Cordae - The Lost Boy, Yeasayer - Erotic Reruns, Yeek - IDK WHERE, YG - 4REAL 4REAL, Yhung T.O. - On My Momma 2, Yuna - Rouge, Zilo - Gorgeous, Zo! - FourFront, 2 Chainz - Rap or Go to the League, 93PUNX - 93PUNX, !!! - Wallop

Meh: A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Hoodie SZN, Above & Beyond - Flow State, The Avett Brothers - Closer Than Together, Belle & Sebatian - Days of the Bangold, Berner - El Chivo, Birdman & Juvenile - Just Another Gangsta, Blank Mass - Animated Violence Mild, Calboy - Wildboy, Casanova - Behind These Scars, Conway The Machine - Look What I Became, Cousin Stizz - Trying to Find My Next Thrill, DREAMERS - LAUNCH FLY LAND, DJ Muggs & Mach - Hommy: Tuez-Les Tous, Future - Future Hndrexx Presents: The WZRD, G&D - Black Love & War, Ghostface Killah - Ghostface Killahs, Gucci Mane - Delusions of Grandeur, HTRK - Venus in Leo, Jezzy - TM104: The Legend of the Snowman, Kenny Garrett - Hoax, Lighthouse Family - Blue Sky in Your Head, Lil Peep - EVERYBODY’S EVERYTHING, Lillie Mae - Other Girls, Logic - Supermarket, Lower Dens - The Competition, Machine Gun Kelly - Hotel Diablo, Night Lovell - GOODNIGHT LOVELL, Pi’erre Bourne & Cardo Got Wings - Pi’erre & Cardo’s WIld Adventure [Mixtape], Quality Control - Control The Streets Volume 2, Rick Ross - Port of Miami 2, Rod Wave - PTSD, Shy Glizzy - Covered N Blood, Spellling - Mazy Fly, Tee Grizzley - Scriptures, Twin Peaks - Lookout Low, Tyga - Legendary, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet 2, Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009, 03 Greedo - Still Summer in the Projects

Naw: Black midi - Schlagenheim, KEY! - SO EMOTIONAL, Microwave - Death is a Warm Blanket, Nef The Pharaoh - Mushrooms & Coloring Books, Scarlxrd - INFINITY, Ugly God - Bumps & Bruises, Weezer - Weezer (The Black Album), Westside Gunn - Flygod is an Awesome God, Yung Gravy - Sensational, Zheani - The Line Censored

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jafreitag · 6 years ago

Text

The Death of the Auteur

Amanda Petrusich is a rockstar. Figuratively. She’s not a musician. She’s a writer.

Her wiki says that she’s “an American music journalist and the author of three books” – 2007’s Pink Moon (a 33 1/3 series dissection of Nick Drake’s ’72 classic), 2008’s It Still Moves: Lost Songs, Lost Highways, and the Search for the Next American Music (a sorta travelogue in search of what matters about roots-y bands), and 2014’s Do Not Sell At Any Price: The Wild, Obsessive Hunt for the World’s Rarest 78rpm Records (descriptive title). She’s a Guggenheim Fellow, a former staffer at Pitchfork, and a current staffer at The New Yorker. She’s a member of a rock scribes guild that includes Robert Christgau, Michael Azerrad, Anthony DeCurtis, Greg Kot, Jim DeRogatis, and the ghost of Lester Bangs. (All dudes.) Along with her contemporaries and cohorts Jesse Jarnow, Sasha Frere-Jones, Hua Hsu, and a very few others in that field, she’s good at her job. Fwiw, she’s the best.

What makes her the best? She understands that, pace comedian Martin Mull, “writing about music is like dancing about architecture.” So she straps on her tap shoes and just goes. Her stuff is always well-phrased, sure, but also well-structured. Her pieces typically feature something professional, and big – historical perspective, like she’s researched and listened. They also typically feature something personal, and small – individual perspective, like she’s lived and breathed a life informed and enriched by music. A jab here, a digression there, and then a deeper digression here and there. Grace, above all, everywhere. She makes me want to write – to write better, smarter, tauter and looser at the same time. She probably had/has good editors, but the craft and art is hers.

This post isn’t entirely about Amanda Petrusich. It’s also about Roland Barthes. I’ll get there, promise. (I’m assuming the tl;dr crowd checked out way before now. If you’re still with me, cinch up and hunker down.)

Last week, LN banned Ryan Adams for his indefensible treatment of women. I liked alot of Adams’ songs (tbh, who didn’t dig “New York, New York” post-9/11?), as well as his prolific output (another new album, I guess I’ll check that out). The things that kept me from loving him were his work-like approach to songwriting, and his generally douche-y look and demeanor.

The Pitchfork review of his 2008 record (with his occasional band, The Cardinals), Cardinology called it “melodically sound, remarkably insular and largely unaffecting.” That gets to my former point re: songwriting. I feel like there’s another review of another album on Pitchfork that riffs on how Adams’ music is simply finger exercises in mopey, alt-country. There’s nothing of him in his songs, just distant musings on relationship tropes that use rural, everyperson scenery, as well as vaguely twangy delivery and dated Nashville/Muscle Shoals instrumentation/arrangements, to provide cred. I scoured P4k (wow, they hate and love him in almost equal measure), but couldn’t find what I remembered. Trust me that that review exists. Or don’t, and just buy what I’m trying to say. Dude is “good” at his job. And it’s just a job. To borrow from P4k again – its take on 2005’s Jacksonville City Nights: “Nearly a dozen albums in, counting Whiskeytown, Ryan Adams’ shtick is that it’s all shtick.”

And then it wasn’t. He married and divorced Mandy Moore, decided to devote an entire album to the demise of that relationship – 2017’s Prisoner. Here’s his comment about it to the Japan Times:

“I started writing this record while I was going through a very public divorce, which is a humiliating and just a f—-ing horrible thing to go through no matter who you are. To be me and to go through that the way that I did was destructive on a level that I can’t explain. So a lot of extra work went into keeping my chin up and remembering what I did and what I loved about who I was.”

That hints at my latter point, and feeds the former. “To be me” is the weird part. Like he needs the interviewer knows that he’s a sensitive, press-shy guy, so any details of what that process entailed – the pains, the doubts, the regrets, the gotdam details of who gets the kids/pets and when (full disclo, I’m divorced, too) – was off-limits because of, well, him. But it was all good because of, well, him. He told the JT that he wrote “quite literally 80 songs, probably more” (OMF, that’s such a Trump quote) for Prisoner, discovering that he could “write out the bulls—- so I could get back to myself and say, ‘Cool. This is what is real.’ ”

That record is ok, but there’s nothing real about it. Again, P4k, from it’s review (after quoting some lyrics):

“[L]ines that feel like placeholders for universal truths or even personalized expressions of pain that rarely emerge. While it’s impossible to evaluate the album’s sincerity, inspiration is a more tangible quality, and Adams comes off like an A student uncharacteristically frozen by an essay prompt, filling the margins with the hopes that his reputation can get him out of this jam, this one time.”

Reputation, ok. That definitely goes to the latter point. Adams has a difficult one. The Ringer says, “Adams’s reputation has long preceded him, by design, like a human shield.” Basically, he’s difficult, and revels being so because he thinks he’s some sort of rock genius auteur – the attitude, like the disheveled hair and the frumpy clothes, serves the grander brand. Per Spin, he has used his influence to get websites to remove negative content about him – namely, a 2017 Consequence of Sound profile about Phoebe Bridgers, a singer-songwriter, a member of boy genius (whose s/t ep was my fave record of last year), a co-founder of Better Oblivion Community Center (with Conor Oberst), and, least of all, a former parter of Adams. What was so bad? In the profile, Bridgers observed that Adams “wigs out at people on Twitter all the time,” but added, “Do I ever text him and say, ‘Stop?’ Never. I think I’d wind up on the wrong end of a Twitter rant.” Wow.

Adams has also flexed on critics who have given his music less than glowing reviews. That includes Amanda Petrusich. She has previous with him. For P4k, she savaged his 2003 album, Rock N Roll, which then prompted him to summon her (via people) for an interview. It starts with AP saying that he talks fast, and then Adams hearsaying his “writer” friend informing that the website is “not very cool at all.” Ugh. He tells her that P4k is a “good resource,” which has a nice vibe because it supports indie material. To relate, I guess, he adds, “Today I got the first Pussy Galore record for $50,” (I doubt that), which he had been “looking for for so fucking long” because he gets “cool records.” But. if I wasn’t him, he’d pass on Jon Spencer and Neil Hagerty, and “be like, ‘Dude, you have to check out this record, Gold, it kicks ass.’ ” (Aside: In the history of the world, there has never been a human being who has gone into a record store to buy Dial M for Motherfucker and settled for Gold, not even Mad Ego’s Ryan Fucking Adams.)

And then AP prods him, and mentions his comment that rock journalism is just exhibitionism. She says that she’s not cool and listens to the Grateful Dead (so do we at LN!!). His response:

“I fucking love the Dead! Jesse Malin got me a coupon for a Steal Your Face tattoo for my birthday. ‘Cause, you know, I want to be badass. [Laughs] There are a lot of things expected and not expected. I mean, back in the day, Jim Morrison fucking going crazy in Florida and maybe or maybe not pulling his penis out, or attacking a police officer– all this unbelievably decadent shit. That was news. Now it’s ‘singer/songwriter can be slightly hotheaded.’ I’m not trying to hurt anybody.”

Or maybe he was. Last week’s ban post linked the New York Times article about Adams’ abuse of women. I don’t need to revisit that, but here’s his preemptive tweet (since deleted, typos are his) before the article was out:

“Happy Vanentines day @nytimes. I know you got lawyers. But do you have the truth on your side. No. I do. And you have run out of friends. My folks are NOT your friends. Run your smear piece. But the legal eagles see you. Rats. I’m f—ing taking you down. Let’s learn I bait.”

Last week, The New Yorker published Amanda Petrusich’s “Ryan Adams and the Perils of the Rock-Genius Myth.” There, she mentions that Adams is now under investigation by the F.B.I. for communications with a then-14 year-old fan, which may have crossed legal lines. (Adams’ attorney denies any wrongdoing by his client. And, as I said in the ban post, the presumption of innocence is constitutionally important.) AP also mentions comments by Bridgers on social media, where she described Adams as stifling, domineering, and frightening. Bridgers thanked her friends, band, and mom for support, then called out Adams’ “network,” none of which, she says, “held him accountable,” but rather “told him, by what they said or what they didn’t, that what he was doing was okay.” AP says:

“What Bridgers is emphasizing—that most people who have been subject to this sort of behavior can just as clearly recall the dude in the room who refused to meet their gaze, who was visibly uncomfortable but nonetheless remained silent—feels more important than ever to remember. It’s not simply the alpha abusers at fault for poisoning the music industry but also the whole odious web of enablers that surrounds them.”

AP continues (and this is a long quote, but it’s so finely rendered, and provides such great insight into her experience as a serious journalist who happens to be female, that you should read the whole damn thing):

“It almost feels silly, in our present era, to point out that sexism is pervasive in the music business, from the major labels on down—it’s now so ingrained in the system as to simply be presumed. Nearly every woman I know who works in music has a bottomless grab bag of stomach-turning stories about being harassed at shows, demeaned during interviews, inappropriately and aggressively propositioned, objectified, insulted, or treated as a joke. For most of us, it goes on until these sorts of incidents become normalized—a job hazard that you don’t think about because you’ve never known another way of working. ‘The concept of male genius insulates against all manner of sin,’ the critic Laura Snapes recently wrote in the Guardian. For men, childish or cruel behavior is often not just excused, but lauded—held as evidence of passion, vision, verve. A man behaving hysterically can be reconfigured as brilliant, whereas a woman doing the same thing will, in all likelihood, be dismissed as a maniac. I think often about a conversation I had with the musician Chan Marshall, who records as Cat Power, in Miami, in 2014. Marshall has been subject to several decades of name-calling for her occasionally erratic behavior, which has included walking offstage mid-show—something dozens of male rock stars have done before her. ‘I’m not crazy,’ I recall her telling me.

When I first started working as a music critic, in my early twenties, the industry was still almost exclusively male. My first real writing job was for the music-reviews site Pitchfork, where at times I was one of just two, maybe three, women on staff. My early editors and colleagues were supportive and encouraging—I was fortunate—but music criticism itself has problematic roots. The practice was largely founded and developed by male writers, who understood hedonism as a display of authenticity (maybe as the only display of authenticity), and its language still hinges around vaguely mystical ideas about art-making as a kind of bloodletting. For decades, that language has been used to protect and enshroud troubled men, and to dismiss and humiliate women working in the same register. I learned the vocabulary of the trade as a young critic, and the process of un-learning it has been slow, deliberate, and difficult.

Part of the problem is that music thrills and bewilders us in a way that can feel at odds with natural laws, so we instinctively codify and exalt its creation. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and writing about what happens to a person when they hear a song that they love, and what sense, if any, can be made of that strange, glorious melting. When I look at my own record collection, I see a desperate monument to my desire for that feeling—for some fleeting brush with the sublime. There are neurobiological processes to point to, and loads of social and cultural cues that help explain and unpack fandom, but the experience itself is such a hard thing to hold on the page. Never being able to fully explain it in a concise or useful way is a big part of why I first began writing about music, and why the work remains interesting to me. There’s a little bit of God in it.

But mystifying the creative process also allows for the genius myth to expand and endure. When nobody can say for sure why a certain melody is so satisfying, or so evocative, or so pleasurable—and this is criticism’s grandest prerogative, to somehow get close—we inevitably begin to imbue its creator with supernatural strengths. Ergo, people get away with things, for horrifyingly long stretches of time. It seems essential that critics remain vigilant about who is being granted leniency, and for what. But I also wonder if there’s a way for critical discourse to make more room for the receiver—to give more credit to our own consciousness, and the magic it makes of sound. That communion, after all—between player and listener, in which both parties create something extraordinary together—is just as sacred. Perhaps we can start to look for the genius in there instead.”

Yeah. There is a way, and it harkens back to the heady days of late-60s French deconstructionism. In 1967, Roland Barthes published an essay called “The Death of the Author.” I’ve referenced it a bunch through various iterations of this blog. (OM is fake sick of it, but he’s a pomo fiction geek, and a student of lit-crit, so whatever.) The wiki is actually p fly, but I’ll dig into the original text for pith.

Barthes writes that

“the image of literature to be found in contemporary culture is tyrannically centered on the author, his person, his history, his tastes, his passions; … the explanation of the work is always sought in the man who has produced it, as if, through the more or less transparent allegory of fiction, it was always finally the voice of one and the same person, the author, which delivered his ‘confidence.’ “

Man, not woman. Hmph.

Barthes’ essay is about literature, so it’s tricky to extrapolate it for a more performative (less interpretative) art form, like music. It’s also baseline difficult to decipher, and I’m not as smart as I used to be. (As I reread it, I tried to remember why I underlined certain passages when I was a grad student twenty-five years ago, and oof.) Essentially, Barthes wants to kill the Author by ending authority, by establishing that “utterance in its entirety is a void process, which functions perfectly without requiring to be filled by the person of the interlocutors: linguistically, the author is never anything more than the man who writes, just as I is no more than the man who says I: language knows a ‘subject,’ not a ‘person.’ ”

There’s a passage in the essay that suggests a de-personed hand (“his hand, detached from any voice, borne by pure gesture of inscription (and not of expression), traces a field without origin”) that goes a bit too far for me, but the idea is incontrovertible: “[T]he true locus of writing is reading.” And the true locus of songwriting is listening. I could riff on this, but I’ll get back to AP and her query.

The meaning/significance of any song or album belongs to us, not to the person who hummed it, demoed it, recorded it, and released it. If there’s wonder, it’s built into what we already do. And we can choose to direct that – that communion, that magic – toward artists who deserve it. The Auteur is dead. Long live rock.

More soon.

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thecosmiccuttlefish · 8 years ago

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May 5th 2017

3:51pm

Sometimes, the bad days seem so potent and so constant it’s unbearable. One bad day, One bad day. Sometimes my reality seems prickly like a cactus. That’s unbearable.

Sometimes the depth to the obsession is unthinkable.

I hate those days, I dread those days. These days I feel alone. There is nothing worse than being alone in a reality that you alone can process and experience. Well, there’s a lot of things actually.

Murder, torture, rape. Probably all worse. But honestly, honestly. In times like these if someone told me if they could break my arm I’d never have to feel this way again I’d hold it out for them.

I’ve kind of always liked physical pain for that reason. It’s like a distraction. Something to meditate. To focus on. It’s good in that way.

I’m hungry right now. I’m pretty darn hungry, but I’m not eating. I don’t “want” to eat, or “need to eat. The hunger, is a distraction, a punishment, a physical sensation of weakness that grounds me.

I want to shrivel away from the toaster, fridge, fruit bowl. I want to ignore, and restrict, and limit. Why? I don’t know. I just feel like I want to starve. Who am I fighting against again? Sometimes that motivates me.... not now. Now I just want excuses.

Today mum and I were down at the beach when my dog Jughead got a baby goose. It was bleeding, so we drove it downtown to a wild life refuge. I think it’s going to be okay.

Here’s my analysis from last night.

We take some time to wander around Y (Um ya, and end up seeing a beautiful view “Did you plan this?” and sneaking into a heritage museum.)

He makes some physical move on me N (He didn’t even touch me. No complaints.)

The dance show we’re going to go see is amateurish N (It was a highly awarded and intimate black box interpretative dance show. I asked a question at the end, asking them to explain a certain part, and they each explained their individual emotions they were trying to convey so it wasn’t overly helpful. It was cool, but it made me angry. Things I don’t understand make me angry.

He’s surprisingly charming. Y- I’m going to go with yes. When he rolled up I thought he was wearing a tie. He was nervous at the beginning, but a great listener.

I feel a surprising sexual attraction. Y- When we were in the theater before the dance show, I really wanted to kiss him. That faded. Looking around at the audience I realized I could’ve felt that with any young teenager boy, or girl for that matter.

We have something in common I didn’t know. Y- When we were talking before the show, I asked him “What do you want to do?” At first, he said he didn’t know but proceeded to explain he likes to be both in front of and behind the scenes. We have that in common, and it seems he knows what area he wants to do something (arts).

He’s hella insightful N- But we did vibe on certain things, and he saw and understood my environmental perspective.

He has a deepest fear that’s not an animal. Y! I asked him this, and he had a great answer: “My deepest fear is that people will hate me.” When we were walking around the park we jumped a fence to get into he also said that he feels uncomfortable when he’s not completely in control. I thought that was pretty insightful.

He drives me all the way home. N- Mum suggested I drive to and park at the mall. I did. When he dropped me off I insisted that I walk to my car. I climbed a ladder, I could feel the crazy creeping in.

He surprises me somehow. Y- at first I was going say just because he looks like a Jehovah’s wittiness, in a tall lanky boyish way, but he surprised me by how well he listened. When someone is a great listener like that I come across all sorts of interesting revelations just by talking. I thought that maybe we’re so obsessed with trends, celebrities, flat abs, because it provides us temporary answers for unanswerable problems. Like, we don’t all have a massive craze about the miracle of cars, or heated water, because we found a definite answer to a solvable problem: “How can we get places quicker? How can I have a hot bath on demand?” So that becomes an accepted way of life, but these trends attempt to answer other questions “How can we achieve happiness, how can we find meaning in life? What is beauty?” Humans like answers. We like things to be broken down and delivered in easy explanation. What we can’t understand frightens us. We search for answers. Thanks boy date, for providing an answer to what I wanted to do this evening.

Don’t. Lose. Hope.

#life

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arabian-bloodstream · 4 years ago

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Taylor Swift - ‘folklore’ review

After Taylor dropped folklore on Thursday, I decided to write a review, tackling each song. I listened to the whole album first without lyrics and then with, and I listened to each song at least four times. I didn't read any other reviews or backstories–unless otherwise noted–because I wanted to go into this with an unbiased opinion.

the 1 - Beginning the album with this song I think was done for one reason alone and that's because of the uncharacteristic (for Taylor Swift) first line with the profanity ("I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit"). It's announcing that this is an all-grown up Taylor, world! Now, I don't think that there's anything wrong with that; the issue for me is that this song really isn't representative of folklore as a whole. It's more upbeat, less dreamy and sets us up for a different kind of listening experience than we were going to get. Having "the 1" in the middle of the album to break up some of those slower tracks would probably have been a better idea to give a little jump in the mix.

As for the song itself, it's one of the best tracks on the album. It's a wistful take on a relationship that was a wild, wonderful ride, but it ended and she's taking the blame. There are no excuses, she admits that she has a tendency to push too much, go too far and that is what messed things up and she's still doing it. She imagines now that he has a great life, while she's all alone. The whole song keeps going back to the pensive refrain of what could have been so that bouncy up beat contrasts with the poignant lyrics. – 4

cardigan - I liked this song when I first heard it. After listening to it a few more times, I liked it a lot more. After listening to the second and third point of view of this song, "august" and "betty," I love it now. Take the lines: "chase two girls, lose one" and "you'd be standing in my front porch light" and listen to "betty" and there are the references to that narrator wanting to show up at "Betty's" party and stand on her front porch which he finally does and the "cardigan" is mentioned. A love triangle is also clearly referenced in that song. I also just like the song itself. I think it captures the heady feel of young lovers who desperately feel that love, that betrayal, wanting to make it better. And, yes, the bridge is gorgeous... including the "chasing shadows in a grocery line" because it brings to mind of how often people see someone who looks like someone we know in familiar places. I think it's a great line as are many lines in this song. – 4

the last great american dynasty - When I first heard this, I LOVED it. I thought it was pretty awesome. I read it as society blaming a woman for the downfall of a man fucking up his own life. A guy can't stop partying, and the doctor blames his wife. A woman is enjoying life, and the town blames her and casts her as a mad, bad woman. It told the story of a woman who married the last son of a rich dynasty and he died because he was a hard, partying ass. And instead of casting the blame on him for dying because of his lifestyle, the doctor, the town, the world blamed the woman. And she was all 'fuck that shit' and lived her best damn life with the money that was left to her as his wife. And in the end, we find out that it was her singing the song saying, yup, I lived my best damn life, so screw you all! You was judging, but my life was good.

I loved that message. A woman being blamed while the man ruined his own life–because, yeah, how often does that happen?–but she decided to just let it roll off her back and live her finest life. And that beautiful, empowering message playing over this peppy beat was just delicious. I just loved it. And then... I found out this was based on a true story, and I actually read the lyrics and realized that I had missed a key lyric. The over-the-top cool stuff that I thought was adding an almost surrealistic spin was Taylor just literally listing biographical points, and that key lyric was that it wasn't the narrator singing the song all along it was Taylor talking about how she went and bought that house and making the final verse about how the townsfolk complained because she had parties there.

Uhm, OK. Yeah. Soooo, I still like the song. It's still got a great beat; it still tells the story of a woman who was blamed for a man's foibles and decided fuck it and lived her life to the fullest, but knowing the backstory, it's too on the nose and not really quite making that statement as fully and awesomely I originally thought. It's still a great song, though. – 4

exile - This is a beautiful song. It feels very similar to "The Last Time," a duet she did with Gary Lightbody from Red. I personally loved that and part of the reason that I loved it is because I thought that Taylor and Lightbody sounded so good together. Their voices just complemented each other's very well, his high voice blending beautifully with hers. It just worked. I can't say the same here. Bon Iver's voice is *so* strong and charismatic. It is nuanced and filled with such character and life. You can feel how lived in it is and, to me, unfortunately Taylor just sounds very pale next to him. She's drowned out.

I know that she's not the strongest singer and normally that really isn't an issue (at least not since her early albums). She's gotten much better, and I think she sounds lovely on every other track, but next to him, her vocal weakness stands out. When it's just her singing, that first verse of hers, she sounds lovely, but then they start singing together and–ooh, it's just not that good. The lack of character and strength to her voice is very apparent and that's all I can think of when I listen to this song. And it's a shame because it's a beautiful song. For the most part. It has the same issue that "cardigan" has in that it just kinda doesn't seem to have an ending. Hmm. – 3

my tears ricochet - This is the best track. It's just amazing. The lyrics, the imagery, the build-up of the melody, the way she sings the words, the delivery, the bite, the softness, the back and forth that reflect the love, the pain, the pettiness, all of it is reflected in every word, every note, all of it. This song is this album's masterpiece. I just... there is nothing about this that isn't just perfection. – 6

mirrorball - Initially, I did not like this song. I thought it was just a complete pile of piffle, pretty words thrown together over a pretty melody and immediately forgotten once it ended. It made no sense, nothing connected to anything. A mirror ball is related to a disco, but she's on her tallest tiptoes in her highest heels. And then there are horses and a circus and a tightrope and a trapeze, and masquerades with revelers, but no one is there. And through it all she's trying to fit in, but she's also trying to show someone every version of themselves, but also keep that someone focused on her. It. made. no. sense.

However, where I had initially posted this review, a few people who did love this song broke it down and I was like 'ohhh!' and I gave the song a few more listens to and... I love it now. It is great. I love the idea of an entertainer (obviously in this case, Taylor) always striving to be the "IT" persona, trying to be the next big thing, stay on trend, keep eyes on them, and, yes, it's delivered so prettily with such pretty words and over such a pretty melody, oh, but there's such a melancholy to it that's really lovely. Especially when you get what it's about, which I clearly did not when I listened to it and reviewed it initially. – 5

seven - I want to like this song more than I do. I love the idea behind it. I love the first verse and the chorus, and the idea behind the second verse and a few of the lines, but I feel like this is unbaked. It doesn't come together fully and like "cardigan" and "exile' it doesn't really have an ending, but even more so, it just stops. This one feels very unfinished. It's frustrating because I think that "seven" is a track that I could have adored and been one of my favorites of hers, but as it stands, it just really falls short. – 2

august - Oh, this is gorgeous, just gorgeous. Another upbeat, yet wistful track. This is the second point of view number in the love triangle that we were first introduced to in "cardigan." There are no references to that song here, but the line "Remember when I pulled up/And said 'Get in the car'" will come up in "betty." The track tells a story, obviously, and there are specific references, but they are general enough that they just help to paint a picture. Really this song is more about building the mood of the desperation and longing and memory for and of someone that was never yours. the "other" in a triangle and it succeeds in that. – 5

this is me trying - Here's another strong one, it would have been stronger had the ending hit, but like a few other tracks on folklore, it didn't, uhm, really have one. I'm just not happy about that. It's like they forgot that they need some kind of actual ending to quite a few of their songs. It's very weird. I know that as I get used to the songs that reaction will fade, but these first couple of times listening to them, I'm like: "Oh, it's over. OK, then. That just stopped." I was really, really enjoying this one, it's quite beautiful and then the last "At least I'm trying" happened and there was a bit of music left so I hoped it would have some build-up or something, but nope, it just faded out. So I was left unsatisfied which is really a shame because the lyrics are powerful, the vibe is evocative, the rhymes are so good in this (as they are throughout the album), her vocals are lovely, the message is a great one. Again, everything about this song is fantastic... except the lack of an actual ending. Eh, I'll get used to it. – 4

illicit affairs - This song is brilliant, not quite as top-notch as "my tears ricochet," but lyrically it rises above. So much that I want to dissect this one a little deeper because the lyrics are so good. The specific detail in "Tell your friends you're out for a run/You'll be flushed when you return" is just amazing. It conjures up so much in two lines. She has a life, she has friends, but she's lying to them about the affair because she's ashamed but she can't stop seeing this guy. The second of the illicit, secret sex she's going to be having with this guy.

Another one: "What started in beautiful rooms/Ends with meetings in parking lots," because yeah, in the end, cheating is ugly and dirty.

The chorus makes a change-up that's awesome, and both versions are fantastic in their own right: "that's the thing about illicit affairs and clandestine meetings and longing stares/it's born from just one single glance/but it dies and it dies and it dies/a million little times." You have the contrast between the affair being born, but then how it dies over and over and over, as it hangs on and on, which loops back to a line from the first verse: "Tell yourself you can always stop."

Now, the second chorus change plays out as: "that's the thing about illicit affairs and clandestine meetings and stolen stares/They show their truth one single time/but they lie and they lie and they lie/a billion little times." Now, it's no longer a longing stare, but it's stolen because, the longing has been acted upon, and the contrast is between the truth and lies and we've grown from millions to billions.

Truly great songwriting in this one. Alas, I have to ding it because, *sigh* here we go again with the faded, lack of an oomph of an ending. And it really hurts on this one because this is *such* a spectacular song otherwise. Still overall, I truly, deeply love this one. And I will get used to its ending eventually. – 5

invisible string -So, yeah, Taylor has some great songs that are undeniably about Joe Alwyn ("Paper Rings," "Cornelia Street") this one, uhm, it's sweet. Yeah. Let's just leave it at that. OK, fine a bit more... this is one that should have been kept in her diary. – 2

mad woman -I like this a lot, I don't love it, but I like it enough to think it's a great song. I think it will be a grower. I think. It also might be one that eventually just becomes something I skip. I'm not sure. I don't know. I've listened to this one about four times now. When I first heard it and three times doing this review now and it hasn't changed the dial in either direction. So yeah... Hey, at least, I feel like it has a true ending. There's that! – 4

epiphany - As I wrote in my into, doing the review of this album I didn't want to read any other reviews or thoughts. I didn't want to know what Taylor had said about songs, etc. before I came up with my initial thoughts. I wanted to just have my own take on them. Well, listening to this one, starting with the soldier dying on the battlefield and the medic trying to save him, to a hospital and only able to touch patients through plastic before the reference of "twenty minutes to sleep" and the "dream of some epiphany," I saw where Taylor was going with this.

The track is equating what is going on now with this global pandemic and the service that our doctors and nurses are providing and how they are putting their lives on the line with soldiers and servicemen at war. This is a tricky thing to pull off, but I think she managed it quite well. I thought she did a beautiful job tying the two together. After listening to the song, I did a cursory glance on the Google-machine and this was her intention so she got that across quite well, I thought, and again, beautifully so. I really loved this one.

There's an eerie, haunting quality that floats over the whole song that ties into the feeling of helplessness that anyone in the position she's singing about would be feeling... anyone trying to make sense of madness, of things that don't make sense. This is easily one of the top tracks on folklore. – 5 betty - And so we have the last point of view, "James." I didn't initially like this one that much, but coming off of "august" and cardigan" and it finishing this story from all three sides, I love it. I like how there are three distinct styles, Betty's point of view in "cardigan" is hopeful, believing in love, knowing that James is going to come back. "august" is wistful, that narrator knowing that she never really had James more than as a summer fling. And sure enough, here in "betty," James thinks of that summer quite differently: "Like a figment of my worst intentions/She said "James, get in, let's drive."

We also find out that the whole thing started because James saw Betty dancing with another guy, silly stupid teenagers and their drama. There's also the juxtaposition from "cardigan" where Betty sings "When you are young, they assume you know nothing" many times while James repeats in this song, "I don't know anything." Finally, "cardigan," the first song in the trilogy ends with Betty saying she knew that James would be on her front porch, he'd come back to her and there he is, at the end of the last song in the trilogy, "betty," on her front porch.

On its own, "betty" throws in a bunch of details that just seemed random and when I first listened to it, I was like 'OK? Teenage drama, that's nice, whatever. It's a cute song, with a jaunty melody, but not very memorable.' However, when connected with "cardigan" and "august," the details mean something. They aren't random. There's a story here. All of that is really cool and when it all came together, I loved it. – 5

peace - Yeah, this song is bad. It's like clichés and then, ooh, I'm gonna write some lyrics in the hopes that they'll become brand new wide-spread clichés. It's a shame because melodically and vocally, the song is really pretty, but lyrically, oof, this is one of the weakest. – 1

hoax - So this song describes a toxic relationship in sweet, sweet melodic tones and with beautiful, beautiful lyrics. God, this is so beautiful. Fans of fictional toxic relationships who acknowledge the fictional relationship they stan now have a theme song. "Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in/Don't want no other shade of blue but you" and "My only one/My kingdom come undone/My broken drum/You have beaten my heart" ... ugh, this is painful, but so pretty! "You have beaten my heart!" God! What a bummer, but such a beautiful, gorgeous bummer to close the album on! Seriously, I love this one so much! Taylor, you have beaten my heart! – 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, that is the album. Overall, I loved this. There were a few songs that didn't quite work for me. One that would have been higher ranked if only Taylor's voice worked better with the featured artist ("exile" with Bon Iver). Still, the majority of songs I ranked great or better, literally 12 out of 16. Only four didn't score great or better after five six listen-throughs.

folklore is the best album I think that Taylor Swift has released since 1989. While I do think that Lover and Reputation have more worthy tracks than they get credit for, they also have more than a few duds. folklore is just lovely, taking advantage of her strong lyrical ability, her musical craftsmanship and how well she's able to tell a story through song. The biggest issue that I have with this album is how so many songs don't seem to have a real ending, they just kinda fade out, leaving them feeling a bit unfinished. That especially hurts "illicit affairs" because otherwise that song is incredible!

That said, with only just that one quibble, I think this is a strong album. I don't think this is Taylor's sound going forward and highly doubt this is what we are going to be hearing from her in the future, but a mix of this and her pop voice would be great. I mean, this type of sound with more of a pop vibe would give us songs more like the transcendent "Clean," which is one of her best ever. That would be a very good direction for Taylor Swift to go, in my opinion. And that is all this whole thing was... my opinion.

#taylor swift #folklore #review

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scarylittlefriends · 7 years ago

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I’ve just returned from an amazing 3-week road trip to Canada! Here are the places I visited along the way:

Zion National Park, Utah

Lots of amazing trails and views accessible by shuttle bus, but the real highlight was Angel’s Landing, an 8-mile climb up a hogback with drop-offs of 2,000 ft. each side. You have to grab hold of chains to get to the top, but it’s totally worth it! Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared to do the Narrows, as a permit is required. When I return I will definitely make that my priority.

Bryce Canyon National Park, Utah

Walking Peekaboo Trail Loop is definitely an amazing way to see the hoodoos and various sand sculptures. This place is visually fascinating, even if you aren’t really able to climb up in the formations, and the hikes are relatively safe and easy.

Lava Hot Springs, Idaho

These are my favorite Hot Springs because they have trains that cruise by on the regular and several different pools up to 115 degrees(!). I missed the tourist crowds and this place was so serene and down to earth. This is definitely a magical spot that just called my name:)

Jackson Hole, Wyoming

No need to explain; the city is a tourist mecca and is definitely not my thing. However, I did find the Snake River Brewery and played guitar in the parks all day, so it wasn’t too bad. The pic of my ride was taken 20 minutes outside of town on Bridger-Tetons land and was one of my favorite sites.

Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming

Definitely the highlight of the trip, I decided to backpack to Alaska Basin via Jenny Lake trailhead and ended up coming face to face with a full-size male grizzly bear chasing a black bear up a tree! No pictures of that, but he came out of the woods and stopped about 25 feet in front of me as I proceeded to slowly back away and retreat down the mountain. Camped out and did the Solitude Lake loop the next day instead, and it was a beautiful (and grueling) 20 miles, but totally wild and worth it.

I also saw some moose (pictured) and black bear mama + cubs. The Tetons are much smaller than the Sierras, but similar terrain and waaaay wilder. I’ve got a new appreciation for nature and learned a lesson I’ll never forget: Carry a .454 if you’re going into grizzly country!

Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

I landed here on Sunday before Labor Day and the place was teeming with clueless tourists fighting for parking and picnic tables which wasn’t to say it was lame; Yellowstone is huge and absolutely stunning, especially the geysers and pools all over the west side. I wasn’t able to see nearly enough of the park, though, and I left unsatisfied. Next time I go it will be during a quiet week and I’ll give myself a few days to explore.

Missoula, Montana

Missoula is a beautiful little town with tons of local color and great food/coffee, thanks to the University of Montana crowd and some really cool young people who have made the place relevant. The fires were raging all over the west by the time I got there, so the sun turned a fire red and visibility was low. It made everything surreal, which of course I loved!

Yoho National Park, British Columbia

All of Canada’s National Parks are free this year to celebrate their 150th anniversary as a nation, so I met my friends Adam and Jessica up at Emerald Lake Resort and we canoed, then hiked to Hamilton Lake (2,500 elevation gain!), then went to Banff the same day. Emerald Lake truly is a gem, as you can see in the background of these pictures.

Banff National Park, Alberta

This place is supposed to beautiful, but the smoke was getting worse as the day wore on and we just popped into Lake Louise, picked up a hitchhiker, then headed down to the town to grab some Timbits from Tim Horton’s. Then we hit up the Banff Hot Springs, which were a bit crowded, and saw the Elk above on the way out. What a day!

Kaslo, British Columbia

This is a magical little place on the north end of Kootenay Lake where people drive cars that are smaller than phone booths, eat Old Dutch Ketchup-flavored chips, and take vacations whenever the hell they want to. We were drinking at the Kaslo Pub and met a wonderful local couple named Terry and Janet who kindly welcomed us into their home and we all sang songs together. It was a magical experience! Then we made it down to Ainsworth Hot Springs which has a magical cave that you can swim in. Soooo relaxing:)

Nelson, British Columbia

My friend Adam grew up the Kootenays and called Nelson his home as a child. This region is incredibly beautiful and relaxed with a nostalgic hippy vibe. People have things figured out there for sure. We got up early and luckily got to see the Kokanee Salmon spawning. They come up from Kootenay lake and mate/give birth in the streams for a very short period each year, and the waters were chock full of them. Amazingly, a black bear mama and her two cubs were eating them out of the creek right before our eyes as the ranger quickly shooed everyone away. That was one of the most special moments of my whole trip, and I realize how fortunate we were to get a glimpse into the private world of bears (this blog won’t let me post videos, but I put one on Instagram).

Nelson is a medium-sized town that is both naturally beautiful and very modern. There are a lot of old draft-dodgers who moved here in the 70’s, as well as lots of young folks with money and good taste for beer and clothes and whatnot. We walked the streets for hours finding all kinds of funky surprises and spectacular views.

Kelowna, British Columbia

My buddy Adam met his father’s side of the family in Kelowna, a very modern city on the lake which is known as an upscale place for retirees and families. It’s definitely got a suburban vibe, but it still is full of relaxed Canadians and felt great to me. I planned on only staying one night, but after ingratiating myself to the Dragland family they insisted I stay for “one more dinner” and I wound up staying with them for 3 days. It was fascinating to be an outsider in such an intimate experience, watching wonderful folks spend time together and tell stories about their ancestors and memorable times growing up. I feel incredibly blessed to have been welcomed into their lives, and the food was to.die.for! I have to admit I was a little sad to go, but I will always remember my time with the Draglands. This is what travelling is all about.

Vancouver, British Columbia

By the time I made it to Vancouver the smoke from the fires was dying off due to a nice rain the night before. It’s an oceanic city, not unlike Seattle and SF, but I definitely didn’t come close to getting the flavor, as I was running behind schedule trying to get to Seattle. This only makes me long to return to Canada again and really take my time exploring all of the beautiful hikes and ski resorts around the city.

Seattle, Washington

My sister lives in Seattle with her boyfriend and dog (sadly, not pictured). I spent an incredible morning on Lake Washington by myself just swimming, doing yoga, and playing guitar, then headed to Capital Hill and explored the 15th Avenue area until everyone was off work. I’m so proud of my sister and her accomplishments, and I’m even prouder that soon she and her bf will be quitting their jobs and joining those of us who have decided to drop off the grid and really travel the world. I wish them the best of luck!

Portland, Oregon

My buddy Rives is originally from East Tennessee like I am, and I can’t pass through Portland without visiting him and his wife Tanya, who have a 2-year old named Hitch. Hitch is rad! Anyway, I saw the hipster mecca that is Alberta and was amazed at how much this area has changed in the past decade, much like Valencia Street in SF. It’s not my cup of tea, but I’m not surprised to see more and more people fall in love with Portland as I did many years ago.

Rives and I got to hang out a fair deal, picking guitars and waking up early to skate bowls on the East Side. It’s great to see your friends grow and become happier, healthier, and more full of love as they get older. I think it’s called maturity:) Having positive people in my life has changed the way I look at the world, and I’m so grateful to be welcomed into their homes. As I made the 10 hour drive back to the Bay Area on the last day of my trip I reveled in all of the profound experiences I had over the past 3 weeks and looked forward to more adventures. The road goes on forever and the party never ends…

For now I’m going to spend a few weeks playing music and getting ready to head to Iceland and Spain. I can’t wait to explore Europe and feel a part of something larger. Slowly, the fears and trepidation fall away to reveal the true nature of Being. It’s becoming easier every day to live in the moment and accept new realities and I find I need less and less possessions and comforts to feel familiarity and safety. There is definitely some sort of evolution taking place.

Places I didn’t get to visit but wanted to –

Utah: The Extra Terrestrial Highway, Canyonlands, Arches, Moab, Uinta State Park

Idaho: Idaho Falls, Boise

Wyoming: East Yellowstone and Yellowstone Lake

Montana: Rattlesnake Creek outside of Missoula, Lolo, Northern Snake River, Flathead Lake, Whitefish, Glacier National Park

British Columbia: Fernie, Radium Hot Springs, Jasper National Park, Valhalla Provincial Park, Harrison Hot Springs, Whistler, Squamish, Victoria

Washington: Bellingham, Olympic National Park, La Push

Oregon: Crater Lake, Mt. Hood National Forest, Klamath Falls, Ashland

Road Trip to Canada I've just returned from an amazing 3-week road trip to Canada! Here are the places I visited along the way:

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taperjeansgirl-blog · 8 years ago

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Live Review: Fun Lovin’ Criminals at the Great Hall

Last Friday, Exeter played host to a little American soul, in the form of three piece rock and roll veterans, Fun Lovin’ Criminals, made up of front man Huey Morgan, keyboardist Brian Leiser and drummer Frank Benbini. Currently on an extensive tour of the UK, this band- who have been active for over two decades- brought a crowd of fans thoroughly different to the usual university population. Looking around, it was clear that about 90% of people were over 40, 80% were men, and from where I was standing, 100% were white. It seemed strange that this group drew such a specific demographic, as they themselves work with a wide range of influences, from funk to soul to good old fashioned hip hop.

As someone who has limited experiences with the Fun Lovin’ Criminals, I wasn’t expecting much, but have to admit that I was very pleasantly surprised. It was the combination of all the styles I’ve just mentioned that did it for me; there was something very slick about the band’s merging of completely different elements that was extremely impressive. More than anything, I put this down to the vast amount of experience they have playing these sorts of gigs. They recently celebrated the 20th anniversary of their debut album Come Find Yourself, and they play with the kind of confidence that can only come from having done this for decades. In their own words, “We made this shit up twenty years ago and you still dig it!” The majority of their music was a funk/soul backdrop, supporting Morgan’s slow raps. There were only two songs where he actually sang, although in these I was impressed with his subtle, husky tones, which matched the vibe of the music they were creating perfectly. None of the instruments overpowered any of the others, even when Leiser broke out his French horn. In the upbeat songs, especially, everything was so smooth while still maintaining a very cool, spontaneous feel. King Of New York was a personal highlight; the crowd obviously knew it well and the band revelled in having it sung back to them.

Another highlight was the hip hop heavy Bear Hug. Before this, Morgan made a point of describing just what rap meant to him: “You know rap used to be a form of communication between neighbourhoods in Miami before Jay Z got involved. You’re looking at me like ‘Is he gonna rap now?’ Hell yes I’m going to rap.” Rap he did, and did so quite well. I’m not saying that Jay Z should hang up his Beats earphones just yet, but Morgan really got the crowd going. This track also featured an impressive performance by Leiser on the harmonica, an incongruous mix that worked very, very well.

In terms of their live show, I don’t think it’s a wild summation to say that the three men on stage oozed confidence to the level of arrogance. Throughout, the audience were subject to rambling speeches from Morgan, proclaiming himself a true hip hop artist, or making jokes that often weren’t fully understood. The first couple of times that he lapsed into his self-serving soliloquies I was almost on board, due to the fact that the music was good enough to make up for it. After watching him drink and swallow – extremely slowly, I might add- his third tequila shot, however, the novelty was wearing off. It may have been the acoustics, or just the fact that the audience were there for the music rather than the stage banter, but often his one liners were met with a confused whoop or two, while at least five times that I saw, he wrapped his knuckles against the microphone in the personification of the comedian’s security blanket: “Is this thing on?”

That being said, there were certain things that ensured an enthusiastic response, such as Morgan’s repeated assurances: “I don’t give a fuck.” I think it’s a shame that the otherwise impeccable live music was brought down by the same kind of bragging you get from a 14 year old who smokes weed, then wears those Huff socks. Constant references to how high and drunk they were got tiring pretty quickly to my very sober self, but it was fine, because they didn’t give a fuck!

All in all, while their obvious arrogance undermined the whole night for me somewhat, I have to say that overall, this was an impressive show. Ignoring the awkward pauses after the jokes didn’t hit- and how uncomfortable it is watching a man swallowing so slowly- the music was extremely funky and was performed to a high standard, and they looked like they were having a good time. I even saw Benbibi sharing his shots with the tech guy. Overall, I have to give them credit where credit is due. As they themselves concluded: “You want Rihanna up here? No. We’re some real fuckers playing real fucking instruments.” For that, I have to respect them.

#live #fun lovin' criminals #exeter

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militiapax · 8 years ago

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I Was There(Great)...Again

Trumpur(i)nations to us All! We’re all bout to get pissed on!

Washington DC resembled that of a (I’m told) harry potter fog/ whitey? people game of thrones dystopian nightmare. But mostly Dark Knight. I don’t know if it was Trump jacking Bane’s speech with grim, hitler-esque tones of totalitarian madness or the bird flocks looming feverishly around the white house like a wild pack of bats, but it was a spot on parallel to everyone’s worst knightmares rolled into a huge piece of frightful blockbuster entertainment. And the reality show rolls on.

The sky looked like dark knighttime and blinding day white at the same time (and not just the fact that trump’s fan club was almost exclusively white).

Insane amount of security, took 45 minutes to walk through a checkpoint. These did not exist at Obama’s inauguration, where there was WAY MORE PEOPLE, who was gloriously happy, singing Bob Dylan, and being vaguely observed by like 14 snipers. That brilliant day eight years ago, people flooded the mall, search-free, and though it was far colder, everyone was warm. It was a great day. This, this was something entirely different. Took almost an hour to get through the ridiculous line, but not after security dramatically broke the stick that was supporting my NODAPL sign, with white priv trump bros taunting me with “just like your broken dreams”. Once inside, it was clear no one was there, just a hitler-esque speech about carnage and a war on muslimism. It was bleak to say the last. This is what the end of America sounds like.

Had to get away from the terrible sounds of hatred and racism and found far more people protesting nearby. Saw a busted up limo, though no evidence of who did it, and it was claimed later the vehicle was set on fire. So the chants got louder and then the masses came out, still peaceful, but heated. They used the limo thing to justify pepper spraying everyone ever, including elder women who were just singing. Then they started dropping bombs like WW7 and people were running down the streets for their lives. The blockbuster movie again. Retreating in the park nearby, hearing the bombs dropping, there was talk of a soldier who was experiencing PTSD by being there; chaos was everywhere. I heard everyone smoked at 4:20 into trump’s speech, which I distantly smelled, but mine was a smoke cloud of terror. When it was all said and not done, peoples’ eyes were burning, horrid smells of berning encompassed city blocks, chemicals were taste-able in the air, 200 arrests of people rounded up in the area that did nothing now facing insane felony charges; the city was on fire….not a strong start.

The Awokening

The following day was like a waking of a dead collective unconscious. There were so many people flooding the streets. Just maybe there are some good people left. It was reassuring, yet heartbreaking to think what they and their children will have to endure. On the way out, saw a Muslim man being arrested outside an apartment building in VA. Probable coincidence but weird sight nonetheless, chilling past future reminders of the madness ahead and behind.

Walking with all the people, the women, the children, so many clever signs, it was a breathtaking image. The celebrity scene was tight too. Lil’ bigg Mikey Moore was there again, inspiring us to action through his humor, his confessed crippling social anxiety, and the beginning of an anti-trump satire movement. Scarlett Johansen seemed to get it, and Ashley Judd’s words chilled to the very core. Madonna was a little questionable, particularly her performance, but the indigo girls soothed with a once popular uplifting 90s vibe, we have to bring that sound with us into this uncertain future. There’s something about the wonder of the unknown that seemed exciting, not frightening, on the capitol that day. That if there are enough good people still left in this country, we really might use this horror show to create something amazing. The revolutionary shift is truly upon us now, people are getting woke AF, etc. Uplifting, inspiring, and lots of chanting. “Show me what democracy looks like “ “This is what Democracy looks like. “ “Whose streets?” “our streets!” (not wall street), we even threw a couple “Bernie would have wons” into the mix; it was not difficult to get that one going quick et loud. Flooding through the streets with the largest crowd I’ve ever marched with, full of so many passionate, compassionate women and human beings, was truly glorious expression of an engaged political process that works of the people, for the people, and by the people.

Non-Alternative Facts

To be clear, There were WAY MORE PEOPLE at the womens’ march than the Inauguration

The women’s march was a reassuring, hopeful bucket of sunshine compared to the apocolypto ****show I had witnessed the day before. And there were a ton more people there. I repeat : There were way, way MORE PEOPLE AT THE MARCH ON SATURDAY, no matter how much the fake media actual photos tries to lie to us with facts. And for the record, way more of those who actually showed up Friday were there to protest Donny, and everyone there Saturday was protesting him except twelve embarrassed/angry trumpets, so the numbers are not in his favor. FAUX FACTcheck

There was a point with an engaged discussion between trumpets and non-trumpets that was uplifting, hopeful, and something different to see. Most of the exchanges between us were heckles.

One month Down…so far Down to go

My journey was wrapping up in DC, but only beginning to unwrap for life after Donny. As long as maniacs roam free in that tainted house I kept staring at in wonder and disgust, the fight will continue. As long as injustice and inhumanity occurs, WE the people will be here.

I walk past the massive sign displays lining a fence, greatly resembling a certain future Mexican wall, only these were expressing messages of hope and peace, not division and hatred. I left a couple of the signs I had been carrying around all day against the fence. I hope this incredible art piece stays here until Trump is impeached, but I am told they were all burned later that night by Trump’s thug brigade fan boys. Ew L Though this week has been a shakey start (understatement of the century), the marches and protests come to confirm what we knew all along: this country is great because of those who stay involved, not those who stay in charge.

REVELATION NATION

It’s more than kinda crazy we rejected a qualified woman running for prez for the most sexist, sexual assaulting, and least qualified man to ever run for prez. Double Slap in the face for women, and now trumps tryin to close planned parenthood and ban abortion so it as a reaction to all those things and much more. nobody there cared that hill dawg didnt get a divorce. i know i dont.

This man can shove his way into our heads and twitterings and blood and infect us with the new old fascists amerika that was always there but you tried not to talk about til that black dude left the room.

What has happened here today leaves many stunned, punched, and wanting to move to Europe. But there’s no escape from tyranny, there’s no escape from dictatorship or racism or the few with so much wanting to keep it at the expense of their fellow people. (well maybe Sweden?) When there is enough for us all but some want more and that’s ok because “I worked for it” but don’t see how it’s the rich we should blame. The working poor felt the sadness, the women felt it--

Do you believe us now, do you feel how fragile your life really was and the floor slipping out from under the poor. “I wont be affected” you will, plus that kinda makes you sound like a dick bag, big time.

We are each other, one people. If there is injustice , it must be made right, and especially by those more so in the position to do and not suffering the same as those oppressed most, our Fellow Humans.

And we’ve lost Ourselves, only to find Ourselves

We have much to fight for now, don’t you see?

This is the point in the world… this is it.

No exaggerating, no whammy—just WHAM

I saw it but I still don’t believe it.

The sinking feeling that swept the crowd under a fog that was darkness but blinding white

Is it snowing

Are there bombs going off

YES, and you will have nightmares for weeks, but that’s nothing compared to four years, four more minutes

and the city burns, and not in the good berning way, the way that makes you see that the inherent flaws within capitalism and this great experiment of democracy that has truly succumbed to the inescapable corruptions of man. THAT kinda way

8 years ago it was all different. Funny to think. Makes you laugh that painful cringe that turns a stomach

In the way that Ashley judd could catapult southern words into our shivering goosebumped souls-

It wasn’t even cold, not raining like the yesterdays of inaugurations-

How long ago that must have been

We are Fighting for what we are Living for

Why bother? Everyone has their reasons—the families gathered here are fueled by love

Why did people vote for trump? Everyone has their reasons

Mostly action comes from places pushed to walls, bumps of dissatisfaction

we’ve grown too irritated to keep scratching, maybe we’re just tired

Meryl Lynch Streep

And even when the most beloved women who the public idolized like a star in the sky, defended the cripples and those who were different, and even those who weren’t. she herself was not defended, instead the public began to question even her trusted voice of wisdom, they questioned very facts as presented by a corporate fueled source-well I guess that part did make a little more sense-but they weren’t asking the right questions

Who made the choice---when we think we’re doing something on own , hand tied to its pupeteer.

“You’re a puppet. “no YOU’RE the puppet”

We’re ALL PUPPETS, getting played by the puppeteer, and now it’s gotten worse,

How do we get out of this nowwwww ---sinkink sinking sink holes earthquakes?

You did technically want it this way. depravity enforced, we can all speak our filthy little minds now

But it pushes you somewhere when things got lost so lost

We can cry and be babies and we are but we need to get out there now

Put bodies in ideas, action in passive, standing but sitting (in)

Just to clarify in a time where Nothing is Clear:

man-hating feminists? they been calling women who stand up for womens' rights that forever-don’t let it get to us now !! and not on our big day !

the trumpers sc(r)ewed perspective is less credible than Trump thinks CNN is. yeah no, i was there, the women were standing up for themselves, with a bunch of men with them in solidarity. if anything they might have been angry at specific white dudes taking away their rights...makes sense. This blind love of trump twists reality, and reasoning has mostly gone out of open close-minded windows. 1) they weren't specifically anti-pro life, whatever that is, they spoke to maintaining planned parenthood and affordable womens' healthcare. 2) there were tons and tons of organizers who've worked on a variety of campaigns, so it's possible one has questionable ties. this should in no sense discredit the event. 3) i saw no volugarity, just an inspirational crowd of men and women who care about the future for them and their children. im sure some would be offended by some things throughout the march, but that will happen in a ginormous crowd of passionate people, made up of families, women, and men all coming together peacefully. thought it was super non-vulgar

Inspiration Nation

honestly, there is something very wrong and darkly twisted within this current ray of disarray, trump, all his cabinet picks, all of it. Examine the true direction of this country, the true nature of the people living here. Stop allowing misinformed, destruction to keep circulating as news. This will not stand but know there are many to resist on all sides, that’s why we need to all join the same team. There are 99% of us getting wrecked and everything else is a distraction, keep us fighting, keep it us vs. us, when everyone knows it has and will always be (until we unite) US vs THEM. In the past, people waking up to it, those who are hip to it and get others on board, well we know what happens to them. That’s why this many of us getting pissed off, standing up to corrupt leaders across the world, we will finally reach the ultimate level of our strength in numbers (plus there’s more people on the planet now than there’s ever been, and that’s a hard fact to be faux).

Is it possible we can actually win now, again, yet for the first time? We have no other choice. The tipping point is upon us, environmentally, there is no choice. Socially, religiously, economically, there is no choice. Make or break, do or die, stay WOKE but get WOKER, and much, much quicker. People have been fighting for this for years , they’ve laid the groundwork, now for the berners and youthers and lovers and thinkers and dreamers-- to bring it home. You’ve been informed (shout out to Bernard on this one), you can no longer keep your heads sandy and your hearts wavering. Join us, the militia pax, the war of peace, THE fight-it must be fought, has been fought, will be fought. No choice left but to WIN.

��o�Z��

#stillsanders womens'march

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