#five thousand dollars

[cottagecryptic]

second air national guardsman from tennessee got arrested and is likely facing prison time bc he applied to be a merc on a joke hitman website. which wouldve been fine if he had just sent the app in for funnies but he followed it up multiple times over the course of a MONTH, sending info like his home address and a PICTURE OF HIS FACE, until the owners of the website contacted the FBI.

The FBI set up a sting op and offered to meet the dude in a park and give him $2.5k up front & $2.5k when it was done. Bro agreed.

Obviously it was fake and he got arrested but imagine begging to be a mercenary only to accept a measly $5k to kill somebody. most state car insurance life coverage starts at $25,000.

[harrowedsoup]

I can’t believe that Harrow staring at Gideon’s sweaty forearms is canon. I would love a ranch AU where Gideon thinks Harrow hates her because she keeps following her around looking PISSED but that’s just Harrow trying to cover up the fact that she’s checking her out while she’s doing physical labor. 

Or an AU where Harrow keeping hiring Gideon as a contractor to rebuild her house, because it’s like a million years old, only to keep changing the plans because she likes watching Gideon swing a sledgehammer around

[johnconstantinesdick]

So close to writing one of those “betting on wrightworth” fics where the twist is that Klapollo are krisnix truthers

Just like. Apollo references Phoenix’s bad taste in men at some bar association event only for everyone around him to immediately get on his case for insulting Edgeworth.

Athena’s like “don’t be rude Apollo, Mr. Edgeworth could hear!!”

Apollo: why does it matter if Edgeworth hears. I’m sure he knows all about Mr. Wright’s horrible romantic decisions :\

Kay steps in and is like woah buddy Mr. Edgeworth may be a stick in the mud but Mr. Wright couldn’t do better than him!!

Apollo is like. Yeah. Because Edgeworth is a catch?? I don’t know what you’re trying to say.

Klavier butts in and asks if Kay seriously thinks Wright would date their boss?? Like huh??

Klavier and Apollo are now being treated to the most incredulous looks known to man.

Apollo (now convinced that people are trying to fuck w him): Mr. Wright would never make a good romantic choice in his life. Don’t try to pull one over on me. I was there for the divorce.

Kay: they got DIVORCED????

Sebastian: they got MARRIED??????

Klavier’s like [fake German voice] nein Herr Forehead I know for a fact it wasn’t a divorce. Because I had to dispose of the unused engagement ring.

Apollo is like finally some gossip that makes fucking sense while everyone else is like you think PHOENIX WRIGHT was fucking your BROTHER???

[gingerteaonthetardis]

so angry it's making my bones hurt but. we stay silly

[yashley]

fearne: yeah it'd be a shame if someone killed you before you were able to make that change

[nebulaad]

permanently clenched fists when americans talk about how expensive stuff has gotten there sometimes. it always gets me when they do fast food because it's like [x stupid bad fast food item] went from [way cheaper than it has literally ever been offered for abroad] to [same price it is abroad but only in the specific like, american jr locations like UK Canada and Australia]. I just think sometimes we all talk a lot about understanding the imperial core but we don't is the problem we just say we do online to not get yelled at.

[sforzesco]

like, two years ago I was doing some writing for a comic where Lorenzo de’ Medici and Francesco de’ Pazzi would’ve had a 1959 Ben Hur-Messala lovers turned bitter enemies sort of dynamic, but the Medici Family-Roman Imperialism comparatives I was working into the subtext were a lot to unpack for a story that started because I think the Medici show sucks

[osanzo]

has anyone actually purchased the interview with the vampire themed casket off the amc online store i need to know it's for science

[giant-goldfish]

getting my vinnycantknowabouthebird vinny cant knooooowwwww s ready . my five HUNDRED. THOUUUUUUUSAND dollars . on this fight . s

[moonsandstar-s]

after so many freaking years experiencing various frustrations/disappointments/moments of anger over crwby’s writing choices, like been here for the long haul, rode it out through all the shitstorm of v4, had an endless amount of little bones picked along the way, for the bumbleby kiss to have been that well-executed... soundtrack/dialogue/delivery/animation /environment etc., and to hear not only that, but the catharsis of confirmation from the whole of crwby that it was planned all along... god y’all it’s just such a good feeling. they could have screwed it up in so many ways, they could have done a just-okay job or a good job but no, they fucking pulled off not only everything we could’ve hoped for, but even MORE and i just... im not embarrassed that i cried real tears 

[vampyroteuthid]

sterile processing technician job that i applied to for some reason ($5000 sign on bonus) despite being totally unqualified and being certain i would be ignored wants to talk to me uhh

[your-dads-filing-cabinet]

I still can't believe YouTube took away community captions just to try and force creators to pay for it instead.

[prodigyprosecutor]

america is all about Freedom so that's why instead of making sure that everyone gets the same high quality healthcare and social security (scary, communist), we're going to let your job provide you with a bunch of arcane choices, the most optimal of which can only be determined based on circumstances which you have no ability to foresee

[revenantghost]

Of course I'm having more car problems that I can't fix :) Of course :)

[geekwiththeglasses]

It's amazing the things that will end up breaking you

Apparently (one of) mine is finding out my insurance DOUBLED MY PREMIUMS because some punk ass kid STOLE MY CAR

[pursued-by-a-memory]

“Aren’t you happy?” / breakin the rules tee hee

The question mad Arthur pause. No one has really asked him that. At least not in a good long while. Hosea checked in on him sure, but...

"No. Haven' been for a while, in truth."