#fisticuff

[soundofthebeating]

[ausetkmt]

Chappelle's Show - Fisticuff - Uncensored

[the-badger-mole]

I don't understand this portrayal of Cardan as a scared baby who hides behind Jude. The man has thrown himself between her and sharp pointies at least twice. Not to mention how he went to confront a troll so she wouldn't run headlong into a battle she might not win. He may leave the sword fighting and stuff to her, but he's not hiding behind her. I know that's a reputation he's not tried to debunk, and has at times actively cultivated, but I thought the audience was supposed to be in on the ruse, at least. He's a coward the same way he's stupid. Which is to say he isn't either. I sincerely believe Jude wouldn't have fallen for him if he was a coward.

Of the two, Cardan is the diplomat. He tries to talk his way out of problems, and if that doesn't work, he steps aside and lets his wife do her thing. They are a team. That's why they're so fun as a couple. That and the fact that they would absolutely fight over who got to take a bullet for the other.

[ominouspuff]

Happy 2.2.24!!

Thank you, @codyday2224, for organizing and motivating!

[tinfoil-jones]

How did the mayor elections go in the Jerk Ford universe? Cause Stanley would have no reason to run for mayor, and even if he did, the twins wouldn't have to help him

Some of the Stanchurian Candidate was handled Here.

The reason Stanley was running for Mayor was at the behest of the younger Mystery Twins, because Mabel and Dipper knew that Gideon was gunning for the position via his dad, and there was no way they'd let the town be under Gideon's control.

Gideon has even more disdain against the whole Pines family due to Stan confiscating his amulet, Dipper beating him up, and what Jerk Ford did to his family.

Stan may still be well-liked by the community, but some of the townsfolk have recently soured their opinion of him because even if they don't know how he did it, he must be the reason Jerk Ford is back because no one else would ever even think about trying to bring him back.

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face suggested way back in the OG post that part of Stan's canpaign would be "I will make sure my brother goes into town less."

While Stan does agree to run for mayor, he refuses to make that a part of his campaign.  So the kids have to be creative.

In one of the Journals, Jerk Ford had written about an invention called "The Free Will Tie", and how it "protected the wearer against brainwashing, possession, suggestions, and political cartoons". Dipper had gotten better at deciphering Ford's trolling and deduced that it must do the opposite and mind control the wearer instead.

They ask Jerk Ford for the tie and he vehemently refuses, saying something along the lines of his tech didn't need grubby little fingers messing with it. So they wait for him to fall asleep in the living room (Jerk Ford didn't sleep in the basment or his old bedroom, because "he didn't like sleeping anywhere that didn't have multiple exits") and once he's asleep they sneak into his lab and steal the mind control tie.

Things go pretty similarly to how it does in canon, with Gideon controlling his father via possession spell, the only difference is he's doing this from a safe distance away in the woods and not from jail, since he didn't go to jail in this.

Things go awry as they did in canon when the dynamite is set off on the monunent with the twins on it- Stan initially tries to save them like he did in canon, except this time he's unable to because Soos pushes him to the ground and beats him with a shovel because the sparks had set him on fire.

So the twins do fall from the manuments nose, with the ropes untying them from the chairs some point before the fall. Without her grappling hook, Mabel can only cling onto Dipper as they descend to their untimely deaths.

There's bone cracking sounds - but not from her or Dipper. Someone caught them before they could hit the ground and to their shock it was Grunkle Stan's brother.

He looks at them both quickly - checking to see if they're okay?? - before carefully setting them both down. One of his arms is at a weird angle it isn't supposed to be at, and there's a little bit of blood coming out of the corner of his mouth so he must have an internal injury, but neither of those things are what's disturbing about Jerk Ford right now.

He's completely silent. He says nothing - he's always got a rude remark or witty remark that is also rude ready. But not now. Now he's just stalking towards the stage, and every person he passes also suddenly goes quiet.

Dipper is also at a loss for words, clinging back to Mabel as she still is to him, he had seen Jerk Ford sprint out of the treeline. He'd heard from his stories that he was more of a runner, but he didn't know a man his age could run that fast. Wendy runs out of the crowd to go check on the twins.

At this point Soos had managed to take out the fire on Stan, and was helping him back up, Jerk Ford doesn't stop his stride but he does at least glance over at his brother and nephew, confirming by sight that they're both okay.

Stan's trying to say something to his brother but he's coughing too much to form words and Soos is desperately trying to keep him from making any sudden moves, he seems to be trying to break away for some reason.

Everyone's silent in the crowd as Jerk Ford stops right in front of Bud's podium.

Then in a flash he leaps right over it at Gleeful and starts beating the dog sh*t out of him. Bud doesn't stand a chance.

Take in mind, this is Bud's size in comparison to Stan in canon:

Also take in mind, Jerk Ford is scrawny compared to his canon self. And in fact, according to the AUs artist @tearosepedall, Jerk Ford is also slightly shorter than his canon counterpart.

So everyone just watches in horror as an old man with a broken arm and multiple broken ribs savagely beats a younger guy three times his size like he owes him money, and is showing no signs of slowing down, stopping, or mercy.

Wendy is compelled to cover the twins' eyes because not only is the beating that bad, but none of them knew Jerk Ford could be scary, isn't he supposed to be just some nuisance? Nuisances are supposed to be harmless! And he said he prefers elusion over fighting.

Dipper gets a cold, sinking revelation that Jerk Ford could have easily snapped him in half any of the times Dipper has hit or tried to hit him with a blunt object.

Bud gets into pretty bad shape at the assault, which doesn't stop until Gideon also runs out of the treeline crying and begging Jerk Ford to please don't kill his dad it wasn't his fault he'll leave his family alone just please stop.

Gideons bellowing causes a chain reaction of Jerk Ford halting his beat down, Stan finally breaking free from Soos' hold and running over to pull his brother off of Gleeful, and Wendy with the twins in tow also running towards the stage.

Whatever Stan did or said to Jerk Ford must have flipped a switch because as Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel are on the stage with the rest of the mystery crew, Jerk Ford is back to his normal self, because he makes a grumpy remark about how the kids "fell on him because he just happened to be standing there".

Now everyone votes for Stan because they're too scared of what Jerk Ford will do them if they don't, and Stan wins the election (also Bud Gleeful gets picked up by an ambulance), however Stan ends up turning down the position of mayor to Tyler Cutebiker, the last remaining candidate, citing that he's realized he needs to focus more on his family.

They go home and Jerk Ford takes some kind of weird medicine out of his bag and injects himself with it - he explains to Stanley that it's something that can heal bone breaks in the span of a few minutes (Broken Bone Serum), but the kids didn't hear this because as soon as he's healed, Mabel runs in with stickers, gauze, glitter glue, and ace wrap demanding to cast Jerk Ford's arm.

Jerk Ford lets her do so but he complains the whole time, which doesn't dampen her spirits in the slightest.

What does dampen her spirits however is that when Stan caught on fire it burnt off a bunch of his hair so now he has short hair and a more disturbing resemblance to his 'bad' twin (something that irks Dipper). Mabel is so sad because she can't braid Stan's hair anymore! Who else is she going to braid train with in this house? (It might not be spotted initially but in the artists design for Stan he has long hair that he pulls into a ponytail or a braid)

[ehghtyseven]

sid's had enough of the trade talk and is trying out for a wrestling career instead

[uncharted-constellations]

Batman "I don't like working with others, I don't trust them, and I won't sacrifice Gotham to help out unless it's absolutely dire."

*Has an extensive network of vigilantes in Gotham and elsewhere, is on 85 different Justice League Rosters, would die for half of them*

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man *fighting every hero he ever meets*

"Weird that no-one likes me, don't know what their fucking problem is, I should fight them"

[silvadour]

[armbeef]

Here’s another one I made

[ollyorigami]

its okay they are supportive in the end

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

I FORGOT TO GIVE HIM A WEAPON LOL

[crystal-criminal]

✮⋆˙ A certain someone sneaks up behind Coil..–

" RAAH! Did I scare ya', did I scare ya'?! "

✧˖ Steampunk grins dumbly, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement. Flicking the latter's forehead lightly, he chuckles and backs up, giving Coil some time to "recover from his scare."

IM HEEEEEEEEEEEREEEE // ooc

"Oh look who finally decided to show up!" -> The canine demon huffs before smirking widely, showing off those sharp teeth of his. His eyes lit up when he saw the orange demon, tail wagging slightly. "Finally showed up to see if you can beat me in a battle of punches, Steam?" -> He cracks his knuckles loudly. He's down for a fight with his pal basically at any moment.

[fisticuffs-bee]

psychonauts is good guys. theres a little girl who loves arson and violence in it.

fourth image was inspired by the thought that lili's ponytails should do The Ghibli Thing

TEXT IN IMAGE TWO:

lili: How would you rate your pain?

raz: Zero stars. Would not recommend.

[eidingate]

Glamtober Day 3: Match Your Mount

[ehghtyseven]

when sidney crosby manhandles you to the ground and it takes a second to overcome the instinctive response to simply make out with him...

[puppppppppy]