#fisrt half

[ngmn2002]

Silly - Serious "Red House" Arc Thoughts

♡ A little kid ♡ is found by Kou and Nene in the dangerous red house... lil Tsu called Nene-chan "onee-chan" while lil Amane called her "onee-san" wow... As Nene-chan took him in a 'hug' I think maybe she was the only one from the people who came into the house to treat Tsu with 'kindness'? Nice Nene-chan? He hugged her back. How cute. maybe he was also feeling so lonely so it felt really good to have some care They seemed to get along reallllly well later on! Can't wait to see the roles reversed now in ch 107, maybe? ~

.......... This thing makes me question lots of stuff. What's the state Tsukasa really is in? A thing I wondered about too many times was Tsukasa's need for 'food' to keep surviving. Did he need that in the red house? Or not? The status of this boy confuses me A LOT, not only in this age, but in all his other ages as well. Anyway, Nene-chan was going too well with her speech until......

........... Huh.....?

Sometimes I really question myself how the minds of those teens work. Of course he will answer who is Hanako? Is it hard to ask with "Hanako's" real name instead? like you did when you told him 'Amane is going to kill you'

A rare big brain Kou moment. Please... how did you see they are the same? I'm sorry... Tsukasa... but...

If I were to show this thing to someone and asked whether you '2' are the same person or not, I believe the answer will be... they are not. So Kou, my question is... based on what did you make your assumption? His aura? It's different I believe? Hmm... is it the power of hatred that made you know that's its target? Not bad.

Switch places with me, Nene.. please? ♡

Please!!!!!!! ♡

Oh... she kept on going with that "Hanako-kun's descendent" thingy.

She asked Tsu if he likes Ice cream, tho!!! She was planning on getting him some!! Such a nice girl!! Sharing food with the twins is always fun!!! From his reaction, I bet he does. You made him feel hungry, Nene-chan! Now I want to see her and Tsu enjoying some ice cream together..

help!!! ♡

and here I was thinking this thing comes only from elders' mouths, I was wrong. Tsukasa-kun is unique. ♡ tho, the things that took Nene away look similar to things in No.6's boundary.

Tsukasa's hidden talent. A great artist & singer/musician.♡ (any hidden meanings behind this lyrics?) Kou with a bear at hand.. he looked funny

Oh, of course he isn't a "normal" thing. Also, hands off, how rude. You have a little sister yourself, do you go treating her this way? What a terrible behavior. Yeah, he is his brother. My god, imagine if Amane saw this terrible behavior of Kou while he is crying for Tsu to come back safely to him. Even if he was a 4 year old he may... get on Kou pretty hard. Hmm... he did hear him saying he wants to get revenge on Tsu and saw him... trying to harm him in hell of mirrors.. ooops... this boy is only adding red flags to his record. He should be careful. duh. Imagine someone threatening *your* little bother/yorishiro/most important thing/moon just like that. Not nice. Not nice.

????? ♡

Calm down, will you? Let your heroic words follow your heroic actions. Let actions come first, dear.

Please show him how it words, Karma-kun. ♡

Thank you. ♡ ~

Not that I hate you Kou, but you see... this whole Tsukasa deal of yours is getting way too boring and most importantly, complete nonsense.

This thing gets me confused. Too many clocks reminds me of No.1's deal with clocks... water is pouring out of the pipes but...? it looks like it's just frozen? as Kou says there is not water on the ground. We know the red house is not a boundary, and has its own time and space... but really.. what is it exactly?

The next thing with Kou and Tsu... is a bit wired... the questions Tsu asked... I want to ask him the first one actually because I'm totally confused on his *feelings* right now. The second one, no need. He did.

Of course, my dear! How can I resist this this amount of curtness? ♡

Clumsy sweetie! so lovely! ♡

Indeed. ♡ Tsu knows loooooots of stuff we don't. ♡ Soooo... of course he knows lots of stuff you don't. That's obvious. Tsu always feels like he is teaching Kou stuff in their interactions, haha.

Also... won't get tired of seeing the 2 Tsukasas together like this! It's so much fun. ♡ especially when one of them looks like a confused little kitten, while the other looks like this fully capable in charge cat. ♡

Hmm... maybe you should ask 'Tsu' to teach you how to hold a child in a proper way.

Hmm... this thing had always been a thing to make me go "man, Tsukasa and Nene are similar". I mean, it's the same hamster-merch in both things. The toy little Tsukasa got and the name of the movie Amane invited Nene to share the exact same name! Amane said he was going to watch that movie with Tsukasa… but Tsukasa doesn't like "movie theatres", so he invited Nene instead. I don't know if that's the case or not, since Tsukasa seems to get into the story in later events… but it seems that Amane catches this 'hamster' similarity between them… "they are into the same kind of thing". Maybe both of them are into 'hamsters', one likes them as a movie or to have them at home, while the other is into toys. Another thingggg... the name is really eye-catching! "Hamester Space Wars" .... "Hamster- Tsu + Nene / Space- Amane / Tsu / Wars.. the movie type, hehe" It's funny and sweet that Amane loves two who are similar in many cases so so so much. Now that I imagine it… maybe if the three did share a normal life together… let's imagine, I think Amane's heart won't be able to handle it… they are way too cute and lovely to him. His 2 lovely angels. ♡♡~

I wonder how did Tsu feel about this thing, did he find this Hanako who he question who is it a little ago 'familiar'? Looks like Amane in some way? and what is it with this thing in the twins' chest erea? did they share the red house/Sumire's village 'kami?' together at some point? maybe after Amane killed him? did it split in 2? we saw Tsukasa talking with it at that one time he said he is granting Mit's wish, I guess? how confusing.

Hmm... when you have a 4 year old kid teaching you stuff... instead of it being the opposite way. How fun. Teach us, Tsukasa-kun!!! ♡ he is always teaching Kou stuff whether as kid Tsu or older Tsu isn't he?x2

Awww... sweetie! ♡

first time I read this up until the end of the chapter I cried a lot, it felt like a cruel joke.

Ahh... still wondering if this thing will get referenced... maybe we will get back to it someday.....

Now, from Nene's experience in the place where Katakori and the sacrificed girls are, I wonder how it felt for Tsukasa the first time he got there and later on...? He seems to be a 'special case', not similar to the rest for some reason. also, as he knows a way to go in between there and the red house, I wonder if he used not to spend all his time in the red house and simply kept going back and forth between the 2 places. Tho, saying 2 places maybe is a bit wrong... since that place is connected to the red house. And finally, Nene-chan is back to Kou and Tsukasa, creating a little funny scene for me to enjoy. ~

big brain moment.

I care about this guy. Uh... I can say I'm really looking forward to see him back someday and learn more about him, he is pretty interesting. even little him in No.6's flashback is cute.

. . . As always, due to pic limits- a continuation will be added in a 'reblog'.

Random Stuff

So... giving this manga a really fast look... I want to read it thoughtfully again someday These little things stood out to me...

Hanako and keys....... please stop.. I can't take it. This little pose of his mocks me a bit. you want to know about my key so baaad?~ realllllly?~ just haaaang there.~ there seems to be a lock in there too? if that won't make me go even more crazy her brooch is also there. for some reason.

Everything as in... 'everything'? then how come you didn't know his future will change? or that it's different from what's in his book, even? his inference with supernatural stuff (the clock) while you call him 'normal' While this 'everything' is not so reliable for me at this point, I'm still interested to see you back at some point to tell us more about this 'everything'.

Never gets old. ~

I wonder how come Kou didn't tell Teru Hanako-san put a seal on his staff or how Teru supposedly didn't notice the seal on it with it right there in front of his own eyes many times until now. Did he see it's best if it stays sealed like that for Kou's sake, despite it being like a 'family treasure' to the Minamotos?

Talking about Teru looking after Kou...

He keeps a close eye on Kou, to the point when Kou skipped class, he was there to see about it...

but when Kou stayed after school to hang out with an 'evil spirit' as Teru calls it, got beaten by Tsukasa... he was nowhere to be found.... how come? it would be funny if he didn't ask about Kou's injury after he got home or if Kou was like: yeah.. I fell down. haha.

Hmm... Tsukasa is selfish? How come? Please... I'm crying in here and want him to think about HIMSELF more. Not too 'wise' of you miss, you should know better. Not to say... she is talking as if she doesn't put herself that category. The deepest part of that category. How funny.

I wonder juuuust a little why she would show some nice gestures from time to time with others...

like the mokke or even Mitsuba 2.0, while she goes around stating she doesn't care if all case to exist at the end.

Nene is not an exception. She even talked about her in person. In front of her- let's be friends/I don't want to harm you. Behind her back- I don't care for her, even if she doesn't want to keep going in destroying the Yorishiros, I won't give her a choice, then I don't care if she died out of it. .....................

Another thing... she seems to take Nene's hands in hers quite often... which kind of makes me wonder...

Nene didn't ever question her hands heat, or said they are cold or whatever. She appears in photos normally, even ... hmm... something about her is different from usual 'ghosts'. she is not a living, yet not a ghost... fine. who cares.

Ok, to cool off!

Ehhhh.... perfection.......

Let's keep going!

Hmm... doesn't this apply to ch 86? or... does a cheek kiss count? ...... or were they supposed to have it back then? after all... Hanako-kun really seemed to be about to do that, but was holding back I guess?

Hmm... really deep words. kinda reminds me of this...

Anyway... these...

Huh? You queen of luck. Won't say more.

forgetting about the whole -boy/girl- thing because I just feel it's misleading at this point... what do you mean sir?! ............. I'm just laughing, if anything, looking forward to see the lovers' suicide ............ this thing... when you don't want to see things in 'some way' but you're forced to, anyway. it's mocking.

Ok, now... p.p arc related little stuff

Defensive lovely Nene-chan!

This boy and keys... again... STOP!!!

T-T

Can perfectly see Tsukasa & Nene in here.~ But oh, we got a similar thing with them, hehe...

uhh... how lovely...

what a nice feeling...

Then do a thing about him, instead of just threatening little him then crying later because of how 'helpless' you are. Prove your attitude to me, Kou-kun. Not with words, tho. I'm already sick of that.

Still feeling bad Tsu was left out from all this fun!!! Ahhh!!! He would love to be a part of this!! WON'T HE?! That wasn't fair!!! WHY wasn't Tsukasa asked to come join in this, huh?! At some point Amane-kun can say "I had these tickets to go watch a movie with my lil bro but he doesn't like theaters, so would you come with me, Yashiro-san?" then "we need students to volunteer to clean the pool, I asked Minamoto 'Yashiro-san' even Mitsuba 2.0 is there! and we still need more participators" THEN GO TO YOUR SUPPOSED -THE CLASS NEXT DOOR- TWIN"!!!!!! UHHHGGG!!! This thing makes me angry!! I get maybe we weren't supposed to see Tsukasa with others too much back then, or even the twins together too much.. but like... that's not fair....... let the boy have some fun!!!

................... ok... enough of that........... didn't expect I will talk this much about it.......

Oh... some deep words, again....

At times I really wonder... If Tsukasa had some other goals out of letting our guys in this perfect pic world, beside that obvious 'grant M 2.0 wish' one destroy No.4's yorishiro... maybe he wanted them to get what kind of reality they actually live in, see how they would react.. will they still want it? reject it? try to change it? Hanako-kun is a special case, isn't he? I think maybeee... to Tsu... this was also a push for Hanako-kun into the right direction! get him to open his eyes to some of his hidden desired and actually.. at some point.. voice some of them out!

In addition to everything, maybe he said that influenced by their p.p arc experience. Tsu even got Nene-chan to lean some cool lessons in the little experience/the wish of No.4 thingy. How cool of him.

I don't know how to put this thing... but all I will just say is that Tsukasa maybe was after hitting too many birds with one stone out of the p.p thing. He must be proud of his work at this point. Lots was achieved in that arc, especially on the HanaNene side and MK, which also seem to Tsu's interest kind of. This boy... a true mastermind, have to say. looking at 12 y.o Tsu... am I surprised? not at all.

That being said, let's welcome our cute little mastermind kitty-boy!~ no matter how much time passes, I'm so in love with this whole scene.

So, yeah... I really do sympathize with Amane-kun in here. I mean... his little brother is soooo irresistible~ let's admire him together, Amane-kun!!!

yessss, just like this! . . .

Due to pic limits, some more stuff will be added in a 'reblog'.

[sheila--e]

Guido Mista found shot twelve times in the chest in a parking lot, while eating a burger with no honey mustard. Local little blonde teenager caught in a nearby car explosion reports that "they were self inflicted upon trying to open the wrapper".

[ladydostoevsky]

Idk of request are still opens, but if no you can just ignore this haha.

Sooo can you do an escenario of hua cheng x male!reader x xie lian where the reader was the best friend of xie lian before xian le fell and like with the power of character backstory they knew hua cheng aswell.

That was like the context, but my request is like:

After the 800 years of previous events, xie lian, hua cheng and the reader meet again at the banyue arc(with xie lian meeting hua cheng fisrt ofc) and when they saw the reader (who ill suppose died by saving xie lian from something and u know, ✨️drama✨️) they can't belive it cus his soul should have been banished and welp. After the end of the thing (timeskip) when the reader tries to leave after helping em' with the mission, both xie lian and hua chen stop him from doing so. But why did M/N tried to leave as fast as possible? Hoho, well let's say he accidentaly inhaled a flowers scent wich had an strong afrodasic and didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of his dearest friends and tried to leave (failling miserably) and we all know both of our bois are so fricking touch starved at this point and here is where the smut makes it's presentation. (idk much about that so u can just wite it however you'd like, but reader should be the bottom oh yes hahah)

ik its a large request so if its too much just ignore me haha 😭.

A tender touch🌺

Xie Lian & Hua Cheng x m!reader

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, novel and donghua spoilers, little bit violence, breeding, m!sex

A/N: I’m not the best when it comes to smut, especially when it’s threesome so warning, this is really cringe🥲 but I hope you like it

The floor of the temple was icy, freezing, just like the atmosphere which surrounded them. Fear seeped through y/n, who was kneeling on the cold ground, before the altar of a temple on which Xie Lian was chained on. He didn’t know if he was more afraid of the creature, the monster with white half crying-smiling mask or this thing hurting Xie Lian - his prince, his best friend, his beloved. The latter. In his hand, was the little ghostfire who tried to keep them out of the temple and warn them. y/n felt pity for it.

He bowed down, his forehead touching the ground. ‘’Please. I beg you. Take me. Have mercy on His Highness. Whatever you plan to do, please take me instead of him.’’ y/n straightened himself a little and looked with teary eyes towards the white clothed creature, pleading, ‘’I beg you… punish me for whatever he has done,’’ he whispered desperately. ‘’Y/N! STOP IT! I FORBID YOU TO SAY ANOTHER WORD. YOU WILL NOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR ME!’’ Xie Lian screamed. The creature laughed out loud, slowly moving towards yn, like a predator. ‘’DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM, YOU FUCKER. LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.’’ The Crown Prince screamed but to no avail, the creature ignored him. y/n gulped as he got closer. ‘’My my, are you a brave one,’’ he stopped right in front of him and crouched down to be on the same eye level, the little ghost still in his hand, ‘’and so stupid. Willing to give your life for someone else's sins and choices.’’

y/n eyes widened slightly after the realization. He whispered to the mask in front of him, ‘’kill me instead then.’’ The little fire started to glow even more, little sounds coming from it. ‘’Oh I will. Let’s see what face His Highness will make after it.’’ The next second Fang Xin pierced through y/n.

y/n looked at the ground, in shame and sadness. He didn’t dare to look His Highness in the eyes, or even San Lang, who he knew was actually Hua Cheng. ‘’I don’t understand…how?’’ The Crown Prince was in shock, in disbelief. Xie Lian saw his best friend being killed in front of his eyes by White No-Face. Same as Xie Lian, Hua Cheng felt some kind of betrayal and hurt, he - being a little pitiful and weak ghostfire - also was in that temple and saw everything. If he really somehow survived, why didn’t he come looking for His Highness? It has been 800 years…

‘’Tell me, how are you here? What happened to you?’’ Xie Lian asked, his earlier shock turning into a sadness. y/n looked at San Lang then Xie Lian. ‘’Did you really think he would have let me die? That easily? My life was worse than hell, a constant torture after that night.’’ He looked away from them, towards the darkness of the cave. All hidden and locked up memories coming back to him. ‘’He did that only to torment and manipulate you. And me.’’ Xie Lian let out a sight he realized he was holding. Hua Cheng’s eyes were full of sorrow. They looked at each other then back to y/n.

He looked at Xie Lian, ‘’I’m sorry, Your Highness. After that, I didn’t dare to show my face anymore. Not like the monster would have let me. I was afraid. I hated myself for I couldn’t save you in the end. I blame myself till this day. You had to go through so much because I was too weak to protect you.’’ Hua Cheng’s dead heart warmed in that moment. After all, he felt the exact same way. He blamed himself for not protecting the two when they needed it the most. But he is here now, and he will protect them for eternity, from now on.

‘’Can you forgive me, Your Highness? I understand if you don’t want to or-’’ Xie Lian gave a sad smile and moved closer to y/n. ‘’There is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. It was never your fault, it was White No-Face who did this. I just wish you hadn't been there. I’m sorry you had to go through this, because of me.’’ The prince leaned closer and hugged his former friend. It took the man by surprise but gladly accepted it. The warmth of his best friend being so foreign to him. He locked eyes with San Lang who looked at him with sadness. y/n gave him a sweet smile of reassurance, for which the Ghost King smiled back.

After that the three stuck together the whole mission. y/n and San Lang got to know each other more, surprisingly they clicked immediately. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian still didn’t know how y/n survived that night. He wasn’t a god, neither a ghost so what was he? But they understood that it was not their business if y/n didn’t want to tell them.

Currently, everyone was looking for the Banyue Fern to use as an antidote for the scorpion-tailed snake’s venom. Unfortunately, y/n had strayed too far from the others. He realized it when he found flowers that shouldn’t be growing in a desert. They were bright, colorful and smelled so nicely. They were tempting. They were so very familiar…

NO! The land of the tender! They were the tender flowers that contained strong aphrodisiacs. The moment he realized he backed off. Thank the heavens that these flowers didn’t speak or he would have surely done something he couldn’t even imagine. He ran back to the others, hoping that the aphrodisiac didn’t make it to his system.

After all the hell was over and the mission completed, Earth Master Ming Yi and Wind Master Shi Qingxuan came to take Pei Xiu back to heaven realm. The gods exchanged a few words. Beside Hua Cheng, y/n felt ill. His body temperature had risen after the tender flowers. He was sweating and his knees felt weak. He holds one hand in front of his lower face to hide his reddened face and to seal his mouth. Hua Cheng turned to him, concerned, ‘’y/n? Is everything alright? You seem… sick.’’ Only thing he could do was nod his head and turn away from him.

With every passing second he could feel more sweat forming on his skin, he wanted to let out sounds he thought he could never form. He felt a painful pulsing between his legs. Seeing Xie Lian and Hua Cheng next to him didn’t help, it made it all worse. Slowly, he started to back off but Hua Cheng grabbed his forearm before he could escape. Xie Lian walked over to them. ‘’y/n, what’s wrong?’’ He walked to him and put his palm on his forehead to feel his temperature. ‘’You are burning! You must have a fewer.’’ Feeling his prince’s touch he put his hand over his mouth even harder. He let out weird noises that neither of the two understood. y/n shook his head. ‘’Gege, we have to get him somewhere else. I don’t think it’s sickness.’’

The two brought y/n to an old empty house of Banyue. They put him on the floor, making him sit against a wall. Only sound that was heard was y/n’s constant breathing. With shaky hands he tried to open his robe. ‘’Y-you two… you h-have to leave.’’ Xie Lian was first to react. He crouched down in front of him, ‘’we will not. Tell us what happened?’’

He helped y/n and tore the robe’s front open so he could get some cold air. His fingers brushed against y/n’s hot skin which made him let out a little whine. Xie Lian’s breath stuck, but he didn’t back off. ‘’T-the flowers, t-tender…’’ the arousal he felt made it hard to talk. San Lang came next to Xie Lian and put his hand on y/n’s chest, feeling his fast heartbeat. y/n wrapped his fingers around San Lang’s wrist, not wanting him to pull away.

‘’That’s what I thought,’’ Hua Cheng whispered, mostly to himself. ‘’Please…’’ y/n’s other hand made it to his hard erection. His hand was quickly replaced with Xie Lian’s, ‘’you helped us today so well, it’s only fair if we help you now.’’ The prince and the Ghost King gave a knowing smile to each other. Hua Cheng tore the whole robe to shreds, freeing the whole body beneath it free to the cold air of Banyue. Xie Lian leaned in and kissed his old friend, his- no- their beloved.

His tongue taking the lead and exploring every corner he could find. His fingers ran delicately over y/n soft pink nipples. The man didn’t see the point to hold back anymore and let out all the sounds that were stuck in his throat. Hua Cheng also leaned closer and wrapped his fingers around y/n’s precum leaking cock. He slightly pressed on to the pink tip which made y/n whine against Xie Lian’s mouth.

‘’Don’t worry, love. We will take good care of you,’’ whispered Hua Cheng. Xie Lian leaned back, a string of saliva connecting the two. ‘’Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, y/n?’’ Xie Lian said while taking off his white robe. Hua Cheng followed and his red clothing was thrown somewhere he could care less. This time Xie Lian took y/n's pulsing cock and started slowly moving his hand up and down. San Lang latched his mouth onto y/n’s sensitive nipple, kissing and teasing it. y/n moaned their names, feeling himself nearing. ‘’X-Xie Lian…nghh San L-Lang, I’m g-gonna cum.’’ Xie Lian’s other hand played with y/n’s smooth hair, ’’cum for us, dear.’’ He came without a second thought.

The Crown Prince gave him a sweet, loving smile, pecked his darling’s soft lips and started moving towards his abdomen, leaving butterfly kisses behind. He took all of y/n in his mouth, swallowing his cum in the process. With his experience in sword swallowing in the past it wasn’t very hard. He had no gag reflex.

While Xie Lian was busy with y/n’s cock, San Lang used his own precum and saliva as a lube and smeared it on his own hard cock. y/n felt his second orgasm coming. In ecstasy he grabbed Xie Lian’s hair, not wanting him to pull away. ‘’Y-your Highness…mm,’’ The prince started to run his fingers gently across y/n’s body. Being so hot, bothered and sensitive, this act threw him over the edge again and he came deep into Xie Lian’s mouth. ‘’Xie Lian…’’ he breathed out a whisper, barely hearable. ‘’Such a good boy, aren’t you? So good for us,’’ Hua Cheng teased with his low voice. The man beneath let out a desperate whine, knowing what’s coming next. The black haired king leaned closer, giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead and lips. ‘’I’ll try to be gentle.’’ Xie Lian went to y/n’s neck and started to suck marks into his skin.

San Lang positioned himself in front of y/n’s unprepared entrance and slowly entered. Feeling soft and thigh walls around him he let out a grunt, entering inch by inch. y/n let out loud cries from the pain. Tears started to drip down from the corners of his eyes. Xie Lian shushed him, assuring that everything was alright. He kissed the tears away and started to abuse his mouth with his tongue again. When Hua Cheng was finally all in, and confirmed that y/n wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, he started moving his hips. At the beginning it was slow and gentle, as time went by he started to speed up. Rocking in and out like an animal in heat.

He pulled y/n’s legs more towards him to hit that one spot that surely made his darling lose it. y/n grabbed onto Xie Lian to steady himself. ‘’Gods y/n…’’ San Lang moaned, feeling his peak coming. He pressed y/n into a mating position, to look him into his beautiful tear stained eyes while he cums deep into his gore. y/n screamed, feeling overstimulated. ‘’S-San L-Lang… p-please,’’ with a few more pumps he came inside.

After a few moments he pulled out, panting. Feeling himself coming down from his high. He watched how some of his seed tried to come out of y/n. He pushed it back inside with his fingers, smiling, feeling some kind of pride. ‘’You are so beautiful like this. Now my beloved…’’ Xie Lian moved away from his side and placed himself on top of y/n. He already knew that it was going to be a long night.

[heresiae]

Someone explain it to me because my little knowledge of history and, clearly, some context ignorance, are not helping the joke

[five-and-dimes]

✨💖Positivity chain! List 5 to 10 things that make you smile and explain why! Then send this to others to let them know they make you smile✨💖

Aaah thank you!

Critters! I love all animals, but I am fond of Little Guys. I grew up with pet rats- I've had eight over my life so far- and I had a hedgehog too. I love Big Dogs, and want one very badly someday, but I've never been in a situation where I can properly care for one. But Little Guys? I can fill my home with Little Guys and give them proper care while they give me cuddles and joy 😊 I have a lack of Little Guys currently, because I'm moving soon and didn't want to subject them to that, but once I move I will definitely be acquiring more Little Guys (I want to get rats again- truly I love them so much and think they make fantastic pets 💕)

Drawing- it might not seem like it for how little I get done, but I do love art and drawing! I'm trying to be more productive lately, and focus more on finishing the bigger projects as opposed to trying to force myself to just bust out "content". I love comic art and my dream is to publish graphic novels! So just being able to sit down and chip away at a story, even if I'm not showing it at fisrt... I love it!

Bad movies- Listen, I have a lot of fun being A Hater in a non-harmful way. I have no desire to go on tumblr and hate on anything publicly. I never want to ruin someone else's joy! But I LOVE hanging out at home with my roommate and watching silly goofy bad movies and laughing at how ridiculous they are. Or watching movies we personally don't like and going on long rants tearing it apart that last longer than the movie. Good movies are great, but I tend to lean towards fun in this economy. Bad monster movies especially are *chef's kiss*

Tattoos! I love everything about them! I love seeing other people's body art, I love designing my own (I only have one tattoo designed by someone else), I love designing tattoos for fictional characters, I love watching ridiculous over-dramatic tattoo shows, all of it! I would love to learn to tattoo someday, but my current brain makes me too anxious to do something permanent to someone else lol, so for now I appreciate from the other side of the needle.

Snow! I saw snow for the first time when I was 24-years-old and I lost my absolute SHIT. I shit you not, I had been convinced that snowflake shapes were made up for artistic purposes. Like, someone made it up to make snow more interesting for Christmas cards and paper cutouts. And then I held them in my hand and stared for like half an hour and my entire worldview changed. Even after all this time I still feel so much wonder and glee whenever it snows. Shoveling the driveway is my favorite chore.

And of course, my friends- both irl and online- never fail to make me smile, including you, @gabessquishytum! You, @cuubism, @seiya-starsniper, @pellaaearien, and @valeriianz - I appreciate you allowing me to harass you over dms and discord 😘💕

[moldybonessmell]

Genshin 5.1 Story Review

_SPOILERS_

Ngl the fisrt half of the archon quest was SO BAD. I was like "Genshin just returned to its original boring ass storytelling well that's upsetting" Because the first natlan quest was quite good.

In the first half we got a boring ass date with untasteful milf Citlani instead of getting to see more Ororon who end up being relevant to the story??? Like I did not care about him at all because we barely got any glimpse into his story so I couldn't feel bad for him or anything.

But we did get a date with yet another waifu, right?😃 Genshin marketing is lame af. I said it. We all know why this episode was added.

It feels like the first boring half was what the story was originally looking like before it got scrapped and reworked.

The second half tho IS SO GOOD new gameplay, good storytelling and amazing looking fights!

I'm glad genshin is working on its storytelling with natlan but the first half of the archon quest was a whiplash fr my expectations were high after the 5.0 quest and I was actually looking to play a story for once but it wnd up being a ride for sure😃

All in all, first half is 3/10, second half is 10/10.

[cokowiii]

Can you talk about ur old oc's a lil bit :3??/nf

What was ur really fav one???

Which one of them was the fisrt you have drawn???

Do you ship any of ur oc's???

Which one of them were ur fav/fun to draw???

Are they like ALL humans or somthin or is there some are half and a half X3?????

A LOT OF QUESTIONS UHHHH

My firsts are my faves since they’ve grown and changed with me(cheesy blah blah I know)

They’re all human lookin but different things yuh. I do have some of them shipped and the funnest ones to draw were the twins 🫶

This the 5 goobers had a special place in my cold dead heart

[bitterlemonade-1]

I HAVE NO FRIENDS SO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY 80S TDI AU

so like im bored and i have like 0 people to talk about my au about to. so im just gonna write this and let yall who are interested in my au to read about it. but anyway today im gonna talk about trent and justin, there my favorite so i have to, duh. and its 1987 and the fisrt part takes place in California where trent lives and the second half is Hawaii where justin is living.

so trent is having a VERY hard time getting over his break up with gwen. ( in my au gwen was an awful gf, only cause i HATE gwen.... hehe gwen hater 4 life). realizing all she did was ridicule, make fun of, shame him, and telling him his ocd is wrong. so she cheats and breaks up with trent. he pretty much starts losing hope in himself. not thinking hes worthy of anyone love or anything again. one day his work send him off to a work project in hawaii. he remembered an old friend of his lived there (it was justin) . he deiced to stop by his house to maybe open there friendship again after the few years thats passes. to his surprise justin was bit of a celeb there for his modeling. so pretty much justin take trent around hawaii showing him around, and trent works on his project for his work for a few days. the entire time trent keeps eyeing justin, but always feeling horrible cause hes still dealing with his breakup.

justin fr takes trent to a gay club one night, trent not knowing justin was gay. he paniced and fled the club. cause trent himself was bi but not ready to come out. justin runs after him, apologizing to trent for all that. but like trent just went for it kissing justin. that same night they F U C K E D. well ya know trent then remembers he has only a few days of his trips left, feeling scared again. being alone again after finding someone who makes him feel so much lighter and doesn't harass him about his traits. so he decided to tell justin everything about gwen and his ocd. bla bla nothing to interesting just justin comforting a depressed trent.

on trents last night in hawaii, hes takes justin to a hill that justin showed him days earlier. trent asks justin if he could star gaze with him, something him and gwen did that always made him feel free. the two laid in the grass staring into the night sky looking at the stars together, holding each other. and well......... thats all you get of the story MWAHAHA really thought you where gonna get the whole story?!?!? NO NOT YET. anyway look out for the art for the story!!! coming soon

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Preliminary Polls: Pokemon (Multimedia)

Ingo & Emmet:

Alright alright, LISTEN. First of all they are identical twins. They're the opposite of the other and complete eachother (example : Ingo always has a frown while Emmet smiles, Ingo is eloquent and talkative whereas Emmet is very direct and blunt) (also they are dressed in black and white like the games they are in and I find it awesome). They are shown to care for eachother deeply : Well fisrt of all they work together But mist importantly, in the mobile game Masters EX they have SO MANY lines where they talk about the other it's adorable. They are together in all special events and there is one in particular where Emmet does everything to help his brother achieve one of his ideas (which is technically building a small battle Subway from a remaining mine). On a side note, they are the embodiment of autism and I love them for that

Ash Ketchum & Pikachu:

Ash and Pikachu have spent decades together fighting everyone from little kids to literal deities after Ash saved Pikachu from a bunch of angry pidgies, so they're basically the unstoppable force half of "unstoppable force meets immovable object". And frankly? I have yet to hear an immovable object in your list of submissions.

[joyfultearsandsweetmemories]

yk what

TOYKO GHOUL HYPERFIXATION BACK AND RUNNING

OH GOD I LOVE OWING FHE FISRT BOX SET

I love reading it like half of the time I'm just looking at the scenes

Manga is so dyslexia friendly :)

[epicfranb]

haven't watched sausage's empires in a long time so now im catching up and gotta say he's quickly climbing up my blorbo ranks rn.... i reaaaaly don't like the direction he took his story, i hate the "evil version" type of plot/character and this evil sausage (sounds funny lol) isn't intersting to me at all (haven't watched s1) BUT instaed of being sad abt it im remembering the beginning of the season where i was so excited about Sanctuary, from the building style to sausage's character and his story, to the amount of detail he puts into EVERYTHING-- i had so much thoughts about what kind of story he was crafting, like, if Sanctuary is so vibrant and colorful and naturey, why is its outpost on the bridge a sword that doesn't have all that color and playfulnes to it? i would expect weapons of Sanctuary to be all vibrant and ornate and beatiful, but instead they look cold and serious? like, a staff of sanctuary is something that i would expect his weapons to look like, and they ARE beatiful, but not in the way that i'd expect. Throughout earlier episodes, wasn't Sausage being hunted by someone? i assumed the king from that kingdom he ran from sent assasins after him or something, given Sausage seems important? i thought that king was going to be the villain somehow, but maybe that was also just a refernce to s1??? (i wouldn't know) there was that whole thing about abusing the magic of nature for your own selfish goals, which Sausage vowed to never do, but so far it didn't really lead to anything or wasn't even mentioned?... idk maybe im misremembering things and should rewatch the earlier episodes (and wacth s1 lol)

anyway just my thoughts. at fisrt when i started watching him i did just because i wanted to keep up with what was happening. there was even a point where i was hoping to keep up with every emp member (i watch a half of them i think). and even tho i did enjoy his videos and the lore and the character he played, i was always under that pressure to make sure i watch and remember everything so i just didn't have time to properly enjoy it!!! now i dont pressure myself to keep up with everything (whcih happened after i realized i physically cannot keep up with all the tcg matches, even tho i wnated to) and i find that im able to enjoy he videos so much more!!! like, recetnly i watched a scar video and it felt like watching s7 again, back when i first got into hc!!! it was so nice, and now? even tho i don't enjoy the story that sausage is doing i do still enjoy him as a creator and his character and it's so fun and i can view him in a new light of like,, just being this illy goofy guy, a little feral but infinitely kind and compassionate !!!

just enjoying stuff with no pressure is nice. i still have so much to watch but im taking it slowly

[sofiadragon]

Why is planning a trip to Disney World with my Mother in Law, who has stage 4 cancer and must take all the grandbabies to Disney before she's too sick, more work and stress than when I was a regional manager opening a new store location.

Disney Genie+ is the worst idea anyone has ever conceived. This mix of first-come fisrt-served and gambling mechanics is absolute insanity. Stare at your phone all day rather than get immersed? We don't need another reason to be looking down instead of interacting with our families on vacation. People who pay for and game this system win short wait times on rides. People who don't get much, much longer waits to accommodate the gamblers. Defunctland made a video about fast passes that says everything I could want to say far better than I can ever say it. Why yes I will just ride the merry-go-round 47 times, that little AI dot has life figured out.

I wish those magic bands ran off a local park-specific infrastructure connection instead of a bluetooth connection to a phone app. Not wifi to the internet but to a LAN. No phone connection needed, they really don't need to be on the internet. Tag into a lightning lane using a kiosk or tap point, it vibrates when it is your turn. Let the phone be optional once you start your day unless you need to change your plans. Don't make the magic band vibrate the whole time the fireworks are going off, like an insistent toddler saying "look at me! Look at me!" when we all want to be looking up. Oh, I hope they "fix" that before we go.

But the mad planning for reservations at the character restaurants and special events/activities 60 days before the vacation is the actual worst. Look, I'll take first come first serve, I'll get up at the crack of dawn for my family that's fine, but let me put in a ranked choice for what I want to do that day and all the other days of my trip before it goes live and give me one of them if possible. Maybe 3 choices per day in a ranked list, (#1 dinner with Snow White on any day, #2 build a lightasber the day we go to Hollywood studios, etc.) and then you get one of those assigned by an AI between midnight and 7am Florida time before things go live. People who put something down as their #1 get first crack at that thing, with some random lottery thrown in. Then it's a free for all race for every other thing you want to reserve based on who has the fastest internet if you want more. Give people with slower connections half a chance at getting to see Snow White (only 1 dinner service per day for my kid's favorite character, with a VERY swanky and pricy prix fix menu) and then if you really didn't want that third string choice or if things changed since you set it up, you cancel and try to get something else in that t-60 days scramble. At least everyone will get something automatically off their planning list, and as people change their plans something might open up you can squeeze into (just like they already do, because some people grab 3 sit down meals a day and cancel the ones they decide not to go to the week or day before.)

It's ten days until my MIL and I wake up at dark o'clock to have a digital black friday stampede through the reservation procedure. I need some fairies on my side to get this done.

[annbobko]

Greetings to all my friends and foes and froes!

Huh, done with serious part, lets get some fun! First I have to confess that my greeting isn't mine( Its free translation of my forever favourite greeting of one of Ukrainian YouTube creators I follow. He is super iconic when destroying this ussr culture heritage and confronting pro-ruzzian media persons. Also his community (me included) are fighting one old crazy lady who instead of some peaseful knitting decided to share her anti-lgbtq pro-religeous views. So we established Homodox Church of Ukraine (instead of Orthodox Church) and that is the only religion I am ready to profess. So if you are with us say "Glory to LGBT! Death to family values!"

Stand up. I can't say much about it except that this is what keeps me sane this days and that Ukrainian stand up comedians I watch are the best people in the world with the most active civil position and the most humanitarian views. I brought you one of my favourite jokes by Anna Kochegura in my non-professional translation: "Nietzsche once said that the woman was the second God's mistake... The fisrt must've been the Nietzsche"

Media. The only tv I enjoy is Toronto TV) That`s youtube news channel with just coolest team in the world. This guys are new style Ukrainian journalists who were fighting ruzzian propaganda and inhumane ideologies for literally all their careers. They post about news, culture and many more. They have second channel in English so you are weclome to enjoy) Ukrainian Toronto Television - YouTube

P. S. Just to make it clear - they are not the only sourse of news I follow cause I am not a ruzzian to blindly believe everything you are told without fact-checking)

Books. Finally, my favourite part) I am absolutely stunned with talent of Ukrainian authors and how easy they are about it. I mean this people write like the coolest stories in the world and take it like no big deal. I will never get used to how easily I can communicate with my favourite authors. I basically can write them on Instagram - and they will read, answer and thank me for reading them. I understand why this happens - because Ukrainian book market is pretty small and private - but considering the level of excellence of this works I just can't believe this people walk the same ground with me and I can meet them somewhere at the market. I found every book I ever wanted on Ukrainian book market and at some point got a little bit carried away to find myself out with 0 UAH on the card and about 250 books to read)

We have like supercool non-fiction publisher Vikhola. I bought almost all of their books) Now I know about paleontology, botanics, psychology, animal psychology, artificial insemination and many many more. Also in my library there are books about spies, space exploring, life of doctors, exploring Antarctica, escape from North Korea, some books about everyday life, other cultures, fantasy, love stories, biographies, thrillers, manchva and something else I can't even remember) Some books are brilliant translations but I believe more than half of my collection to be written by Ukrainians.

I read several books at the time. First is absolutely stunning fantasy about the shadow side of our sities where is magic and forever lasting confrontation of dark and light mages. Sounds pretty basic but lore of this world is hella interesting and complicated with detailed magic system (there are mages, witches and alchemists - each group has its unique way to access Power), political system of different countries and supercharismatic characters. I can distinguish every character just by the manner of speaking and am absolutely in love with every one of them. They are more alive than some real humans and I am 100% involved in their lives. Author of this fascinating trilogy is Natalia Matolinets. She is soon publishing in English for the first time. Her short story will appear in Tales&Feathers Magazines. I am thrilled for her and wish all the luck with publishing her books for the English readers one day)

Second book I am reading now is very big. It's like HUGE. That is the first book of The New Dark Ages tetralogy by Ukrainian author Max Kidruk. The book is 904 pages and the rest of the series are planned to be as big) It weights 1,5 kg! Yeah, I bought this one in paper because ebook will come later and I am eager to read this precious. It tells us about humankind in 22nd century with global climat change on Earth and rebellions at the colonies on Mars. It is basically GoT in space. And all of its aspects are super science accurate. Also Max fills his books with additions such as detailed maps, lists of charachters, schemes and even little apps. This is just exceptional sci-fi book!

And the third one I am reading is pretty basic nonfic for book lovers - How To Read Literature Like A Professor. It is nothing but great and definitely enriches my reading experiences.

Movies. I am not a film fan but moden Ukrainian films are just pure art. I encourage you to watch Pamfir and other Ukrainian films if possible. It will sure be interesting and impressive experience.

[whitepolaris]

Umatilla Chemical Depot

Travelers driving along I-84 in eastern Oregon barely seem to notice the squat lumps sticking out of the flat ground as they pass between tiny Boardman and Stanfield. If they turn north on I-8, they might notice that what had looked like lumps in the ground from a distance are really gigantic concrete bunkers. There are 1,001 of them surrounded by a vast chain-link fence. This is the Umatilla Chemical Depot, and it would be safer to just drive away.

In World War I, the Germans used chemical weapons like mustard gas on the battlefield. In World War II, the Allies worried they used them again. Allie produced chemical weapons but vowed to use them only if the Germans did fisrt.

Before World War II began, the U.S. government was preparing for chemical warfare. In 1941, they established the Umatilla Army Depot as a storage facility for war supplies, ranging from blankets to bullets. Over the years after the war, they constructed the giant concrete bunkers, half buried in the ground and covered with turf. In 1962, they began storing chemical munitions at Umatilla. Eventually, 12 percent of the United States chemical arsenal was stored at the depot.

This included more than fifteen thousand artillery shells filled with the nerve agent, sarin, as well as containers of the nerve agent VX. These poison were invented by chemists trying to develop insecticides. The results were too dangerous for public use-both substances kill by stopping the body's central nervous system from sending impulses to control the body's muscles. People suffering from nerve agent poisoning die because they cannot control their own breathing. Both sarin and VX can be used as either a gas or a liquid absorbed through the skin. It would take between two and twenty milligrams (the difference between a very small and a small drop) of either chemical to kill the average man.

In addition to the nerve agents, the government also stored several ton-sized containers of the mustard gas HD at Umatilla. HD does not kill in itself; it is a blister agent. A small drop of liquid HD on the skin will a blister about the size of a silver dollar. When used as a gas, it can blistering in the lungs or blindness. HD can last for decades, and artillery shells and gas containers are still found on World War I battlefields.

In the early 1990s, the army decided to close the facility, and by 1994, everything but the chemical weapons had been sent elsewhere. At the same time, across the world, many nations were debating destroying all of the world's supply of chemical weapons. The United States and 187 other countries signed the Chemical Weapons Convention, agreeing to destroy their aging stockpiles. At Umatilla and several other locations, the government built destruction facilities that used incinerators and filtration systems to burn up the chemicals, turning them into (relatively) harmless byproducts.

Umatilla finally began destroying the chemicals in 2004. In the interim years, workers had to double- and triple-check their safety procedures, in case of a chemical leak. The surrounding communities planned evacuations in case winds brought clouds of poison gas, and environmentalists sued for adequate plans for waste disposal. Eventually they formalized plans, the lawsuits were settled, and the army began destroying the chemicals stockpiles at Umatilla.

In September 2007, they announced that they had safely destroyed 1,014 tons of sarin nerve agent. This was about 25 percent of the total chemical stockpile at Umatilla. Late in December 2008, they announced that they had destroyed the last of the VX nerve agent. The last of the mustard/blister agent will be destroyed by 2012.

Hunkered in the Bunkers

I remember being in the army in the 1980s. I was stationed at Fort Lewis, Washington, but every now and then, we would pick up and go on field problems somewhere else. It seemed for a while like every month they took us to the Umatilla Depot, where we played war around all of those giant bunkers. It was miserable: either wet and cold, or windy, dry, and cold. Some of us hunkered down against the bunkers to stay out of the wind, and sometimes a couple of the more curious guys tried to get into one of the bunkers. Years later I found out what was inside of some of those bunkers. I guess we were lucky we did not get in. -Dale

[doodlesofher]

midyear crisis

I was watching old loona stages, as one does when reminicing of a better more joyfull time in life when loona was still a 12 member girl group and when kpop had not yet cross the exploiting barrier tiktok brought to the scene. I wish to be fourteen again, for a second. Even when at fourteen i was too depressed to brush my hair or care about anything but loona's debut on august of that year. I wish to be eleven playing yandere simulator and watching crappy youtubers that just screamer into the mic but that brought me life, that brought me joy. today i feel empty, cause it's four days past the half of june, because i let half of another year slip away again and beacuse my dorm room is a mess, beacuse i have dishes all over the house, because i haven't eaten a decent meal in forever, because i miss my mother but now that i need her the most she's finally on her own for the fisrt time in twenty years so i'll just wait until she answers my calls at night and hope not to crumble under the pressure of another year slipping away, yet again.

i have therapy on monday, and maybe this is oversharing on the internet, but i don't care that much anymore. kpop does not help anymore, nothing helps anymore, and i feel more like a child than ever but i can't show, i can't be petty an argumentative when my classmates are a pain in the ass and i can't tell my roomate to f off when she asks me to babysit her cat again for the fifth time in the month. i can't loose my shit and that i think is what's harder tha actually keeping it together, i can't f up anymore.

im soon to be a published author and that does not seem real, i don't feel real sitting at the table home alone wondering if i should just start using piracy to download my favourite albums beafore society colapses and i want the new show im watching on dvd or at least digitally on my computer because maybe tomorrow or in two months netflix will decide they no longuer need to have six foot under in their damn plataform or maybe there's episodes i'll never get to see and maybe people should stop developing new ways to record tv shows like yeah the arri alexa its cool and all but why don't we just go back to film and why don't we just throw all the phones away and delete social media and go back to answering to messages when you got home and got on the computer. let's go back to blogging on sites and talking about stuff we wanted without expecting anyone to hear us let's go back to art and to literature i want to own a million books but i'd have nowhere to put them all and even if i did im five minutes late to a meeting i scheduled so i'll stop ranting for once and shut up forever.

[arleneworld22]

what happened next?...

After our breakup I started dating with him to know us better, we were close friends but we never talked before about romantic topics, I remember didn't be very interested into that, but I push me to take my responsability for what I did. I remember being a little bit ashame because I was afraid of you seeing us, I didn't want anyone to knows I was dating someone else. The first dates were for me uncomfortable, but little a little, I started to acept the reality at the same time I cried for you on nights and lied to me at the next morning that I was healing.

The time passes and after some weeks he ask my permission to give him the chance to propose to me, I wasn't ready for that, I was still missing you, it passed just less of two months, there's no need to rush!, then I remembered this fact that "it took 6 months to heal a heartbreak", so i told him "I need you to give me six months, because the new semester is coming and this one in particular is the most hard of my career, so bear me patience, and I'll give you my time in a properly way", I give him an excuse and I give me time heal my heart; he acepted.

The time passes and we were into small dates, because of my research project, he respeted my times, althought I also saw him get upsed because I caanceled many dates, some for studies, others for me, I enjoyed (and still now) his company, but I wasn't ready to saw him very frecuently, he wasn't you.

The fisrt time I saw you at our university I felt how rush my heart was, I wanted to run directly to you and hug you very tight and scream at you how much I felt it, just like children do when they cry desperately and paintfully for forgivness. But I didn't, because I saw a look of pain in your eyes, maybe it was my imagination, but I let it pass. I remember saw you around there like three-four times, I still remember one day I was wearing this black t-shirt with a white dragon that I was planning to gift to you, since that day would never come I decide to use it myself, funny, that day I was working with a borrowed laptop from our university outside and I see you walk with your old friend, you had to walk by my side if you want to go to the cafeteria, and that happened, we saw each other, acting like strangers, like nothing matters when actually everything mattered.

The six months passes and I never healed anything, but in those months I tried at least to forced me to love him, I put attention on his likes, desires, goals, and dreams taking mental notes, I tried to be affective but as soon I was alone I felt guilty. I wasn't ready. Of course I enjoyed his company, but as soon I was alone, I forgott how it felt.

The first year being his partner I wasn't exactly a good girlfriend, I didn't talk to much with him, I never looked for his hand, I never ask to much about his day, I actually didn't care to much to be honest, but from the bottom of my heart, I trully wanted to love him properly. Then one day I found this polyamorous artist sharing her experience in this kind of relationship, at the beginning I read it for curiosity, but I found that I kind of feel in a very similar way, I felt I was between two worlds and that it was a waste of time trying so damn hard to just love him when I couldn't, I remember I was tired half of the time because I pushed myself to forget one and love the other one. Then I thought that I could try to allow me to love different, not again, just different, and I that thought helps me to be more flexibe with myself about my mindset and feelings for a very long time. I try to allow me to feel a little bit of happiness, little by little, slowly (very very slowly) works.

I remember me looking desperately for you on every single corner of my view, just for that, to see you, just like I still do now wherever I go, I known it and still I do, that it could be just few seconds or just one, but that's enough, it's enought to fill a little the empty of you; because it's a way to remember that you still exist on the same space at me, that we see the same sunsets, that we see the same moon, that we do the same human things, that you are not an ilusion from my mind. (btw, I want to confess that after our breakup, I saw you like 5 times, three of them at our university, other on my way to a wedding, you were walking to your home, I knew it because I was on the opposite direction, and the last one on this baazar where one day we went on a date)

What I did? I allowed myself to think of you, and feel everything with him at the same time, I allowed myself to let you go around my mind, I tried to practice to not feeling guilty, because what I felt for you was real and natural, beautiful, precious and valuable, then, if it's that important, why try to bury it?,you are a very importat part of myself, your presence in my life makes me evolve (for better or worse, but it happened), why don't just appraise your memory for myself and enjoy my life? that's what I did, and still I do; obviously it wasn't perfect, many times I cried because I miss you, sometimes I still miss you, but it's ok, it's human's nature, emotions exist to show us what we want, what we need, what we like, what we don´t like, they made us who we are, to guide us in making decisions.

Sadly, it's been two years since I did that and I'm still don't know what should I do next. But I don't have haste, I learn to be patient with that, maybe I'm just going to live like this forever; or not; who knows?, when I said I was getting tired of this, I mean it to hide my emotions from you and make you believe that everything is solved when in fact it wasn't. So i think my desicion now is let you know what I felt and wanted to do and what I feel and I do now, because being honest, all this time I always wanted to talk to you one more time, but at same time I don't want to make you feel I'm going to be 100% present in your life, I want to be just 5% of your life, I want you to focus in your studies, I want you to do your best at work, I want you to love her, I want you to pass time with her and made plans for future, I want you to achieve your goals, I want you to express when you have a bad day, and at the end of the day, whatever you want, let me know how are you, happy?, sad?, freaking happy?, angry?, upset?, proud of something? how do you feel with the change of season?, do you try new hobbies?, do you have a new fav movie?, is your connection with music still strong as then?, how are your new friends?, how is she with you? do you kiss a lot? i hope you do, what are you working now? do you discover something new about you? I'm not going to get involve in your life, I'm just going to read as much as you let me, so, if you give me permission...

do you let me be you long distance friend like pen pals do?