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niallsguiness · 3 years ago

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< raphael (raph) weaver > (aftermath, what the ‘others’ saw)

i always knew they were ‘made to burn’. their entire group was filled with a bunch of fake people with many issues, most of which i couldn’t even name. but they’d come to this school on daddys’ riches willing to fuck everything over because that's just who they were. they think they can do anything and just get away with it, well they needed a fucking reality check and boy they got one. they hadn’t worked a single day in their miserably content lives. a perfect exterior with a rotting interior. its fucking infuriating and shameful to watch. but nothing could corrupt them faster than a murder which is exactly what they got. at first, everyone believed it would be willow sutton, his best friend oh pardon me, his ex-best friend. he was probably the only one in the group who didn’t give his life away every night for all those parties with endless amounts of drugs and alcohol and cheap people who would come for a priceless fuck by rich assholes such as his ex-best friend. predator and prey i’d say. but will was never like that, probably why i didn’t despise him more so admired him. i’d describe their relationship as inseparable, but after the fairly public falling out between the two things got pretty ugly. everyone knew about it but no one knew exactly what it was about which left perfect room for speculation. after that very horrid phase started to simmer down, will turned towards his old friend florence campbell to help mend his bruised ego. flo was known for being a selfish backstabber but hey desperate times call for desperate measures. i never really understood her, but nevertheless, she always looked out for herself, and for that i commend her. apparently they had a fling but never gave her the time of day so she ran away after this all went public. now you see, when marion klein was seen being dragged through the main hallway in handcuffs we all were a bit stunned but not surprised. we all knew that the kleins riches were brought through impure works and bound to be their demise yet we all turned a blind eye towards it because marion or mitzi, as she called herself, was popular, and no one ever questioned the populars. will was childhood friends with mitzi, so it was least to say that he got dragged along with her too. flo running away after the incident didn’t help the situation either. wealth always comes with a price, and the whole group was sure to have paid for it that night.

< willow (will) sutton > (a view)

i never thought i’d lose my best friend because of another. i don’t entirely remember what happened that night because all of the alcohol coursing through my veins, guess thats what i get for breaking my sobriety streak. everything was a blur but all i know is that i had lost someone special again. my mom put me into therapy after it happened, she said it was to put me back into track and make sure i focus on my tennis. i never knew how to tell her that i fucking hated it and wanted to quit two weeks after i began but seeing the amount of effort and money she put into it now, i could never have the heart to. all the therapy just fucked with me. in school, i was only greeted two ways, with pity and disgust. i hated it. i hated it so much that i started cutting two weeks later and tried committing twice two weeks after that. my mom tried to keep that a secret so she could maintain her porcelain image. a rich single mom with a country club son. flossie running away that night threw me into an even deeper ditch. she was all i had and she left me too. i know what it may have looked like to her but i swore i never loved mitzi, she was always the one for me. i couldn’t keep such a big secret to myself but i promised mitzi i wouldn’t tell anyone about that night. but after an anonymous confession that went down the drain too. i think mitzi thinks i confessed. i tried explaining that i didn’t tell anyone anything and that i would never do anything like that because she was the only one i had left but she just shut me out. i didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. i finally told my mom that i wanted to quit tennis, she told me that losing a friend was traumatizing but i shouldn’t put a pause on my life cause of it and that i needed to stop playing the delusional act once in for all. when i tried explaining that i wanted to do it for myself she told me i was an inconsiderate brat and that she’d be cutting ties with me financially until i start thinking clearly again. i knew i was sure of my decision then. i don’t know why this happened to me, guess it was just my karma.

< florence (flo/ssie) campbell > (the other ones view, during and after)

i had confessed. i couldn’t keep it in any longer. her faint touches on him ate me up. every time she’d touch him, mark him, she’d glare at me, like she knew. i didn’t wanna admit that i fell for will because that creates room for vulnerability, and i am not vulnerable. i am the one with dirt on others and i am the one who doesn’t let another merely breathe or function. but he’d done a number on me. twisted me, mended me, and locked me in a cage leaving me defenseless. while he spent all that time building up his fences. i slept on all my problems as if i’d solve them in that cage of my dreams. wish i didn’t need so much of you, will, i hate to say that i do. i wanted to finally let it out, let it all off my shoulders, hoping you’d accept me and let me in. but all you did is run away with her. her knight in shining armor. i still remember it all too well, my head held high, a big bright smile, and a pretty look of innocence smeared all over my face. and you left me. you knew me, you knew i never cared like this and you promised me you’d be there every step of the way if i let you, and i did, i foolishly did but look where it brought me. so i followed you, i needed to know and god forbid i wish i never had. i wish i didn’t let my curiosity seep through. i expected to be furious, jealous, livid, i expected to find you kissing her up against a tree trunk with both our initials carved but i never expected what i saw. my first instinct was to yell. i didn’t know what i would achieve, and it is what i would have done if my voice didn't feel like it was ripped out of me. my second instinct was to record all of this, so that is what i did. i didn’t know what i’d do, i thought this would simplify things for me but did it do the exact opposite. the next few weeks were dizzy. i avoided you simply because i didn’t know what to do, i’d never felt more puzzled and in question with myself. there were days where i’d want to anonymously send the video out but there were days where i don’t know how i’d live with myself if i did do so. will i was so at war that it tore me into pieces every single day so i confessed. i didn't send the video because i never wanted you to be impacted, i knew you were a good person with high aspirations in life. i knew you didn't deserve such a fate. i ran shortly after because i was scared, and honestly, i didn't know how to face you. i knew i left you all alone but i thought it was for the best. i never changed my number you know, i still see everything you send me. all those pleading voice messages, and the aggressive ones that soon follow. it's good to hear your voice regardless of the tone. i miss you more and more every fleeting day, don’t be fooled. i think we got lost in translation, maybe i’d asked for too much, or maybe if we’d skipped town in time we’d been perfectly fine now. i put up a strong front all the time but i’m scared will, all i needed from you was to stick to your word, you were all i wanted in life. so i decided not to come back. i didn't want to think, or frankly come to terms with the fact that i could be thrown around by one person so goddamn much. i’ll always love you will and i will come back for you, i just need to stop being so afraid.

< marion (mitzi) klein > (before the arrest)

i didn’t mean to do it. i was drunk and he was threatening me to leak those pictures if i didn't give him what i wanted to, i just took a swing to shut the barricading whine, i didn't mean for this, please. he was so loud and those pictures, oh my god those pictures had such a messy and painful grip on me. to him i was just one of his champagne problems. i was so scared, i am so scared oh my god i’m so screwed. i need to write this down, i just hope no one finds it. i need to ease my conscience. please forgive me;

it was 10:42 pm at his house. he was drunk and high on something stumbling into the woods, still, on his property, this all happened on his property. and he was threatening me saying that he’d leak those photos i sent him if i didn't let him and harvey fuck me. as simple as that. so i followed him scared that if i took my eye off of him he’d send them to anyone he could. he kept going deeper and deeper into the woods, and i followed him, deeper and deeper into the woods. and then he stopped and waited for me to catch up just so he could dangle my pictures to my face. teasing me like i was his dog. he knew i was helpless and he used it. he wouldn’t stop tripping over his feet and slurring over on his words and that made me so mad. he always got what he wanted, the money, the booze, the fame, and me, he also had me and he used me and threw me around like i was an old cardigan. he kept me like a secret but i kept him like an oath, like our sacred prayer to always remember what we had. so i shoved him with all that built-up anger and he pulled me down with him. it was all so blurry and suffocating and i just wanted him off me. i didn't want to let him have a second chance to use me, i felt so weak. so i took what i could and i hit him with it and i didn't realize how harsh it was until i felt all his blood on my face. and god, i’ve never felt more guilt in my life than in that moment and all i could think about was calling will. i knew bringing him into this would ruin him forever but selflessness was not one of the things that i was considering in the moment. so i ran back to the party, stepped into the house of the man i’d just killed. and i just dragged will all the way out, i didn't see anyone notice us. or i’d hoped. and the look on wills face is honestly the most scarring thing i saw that night. i knew it was self-serving to drag him there but i never fully processed what i had just done until that moment. it killed me to see that look. and oh god i just wanted to disappear. i knew i was one to cause a scene, be a wreak but this, oh god this was something else. i killed someone, and i’ve come to terms with that no matter how revolting and nauseating it sounds but i just am unable to say it out loud. because saying it out loud makes it real, sets it in stone. i am a murderer. cold blood. to the first degree. all that needed to be put aside because we needed to get rid of the body. saying ‘we’ disgusts me, it truly does. it's my mess, my burden, my problem and it should’ve been an “i” instead but it wasn’t, and will was stuck with fixing it because i was too busy trying to catch my breath. and he was quick on his feet, he suggested we burn the body along with the log and if we were ever caught it can come off as a bonfire, there was already a huge party going on at his house it wouldn’t be suspicious, oh god hiss dead. he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead and it's my fault oh god what did i do. that’s all that flooded my mind. and we sat there for the rest of the night, waiting for everything to burn, with his blood all over our bodies, reeking of a certain stench and gasoline. i think there were more tears than bloodstains by the end. once we knew everyone was gone we burned our clothes in the fire and put on the uniforms we came to his house wearing. and then we eventually left. and from then onwards we pretended as if everything was perfect. but it wasn’t. everything had changed.

< nikolas (nik) horan > (the end)

i know why i deserved it, but i didn’t think she’d do it. i wanted her and i knew it was wrong but fuck i couldn’t get enough of her. she was a walking nightmare dressed like a daydream. fuck it should’ve been illegal. i started at her in art class from 12:25 - 13:25 on a monday, 14:25 - 15:30 on a tuesday and 9:10 - 10:10 on a friday. she’s so passionate, so in love. i wish she felt that way about me sometimes. i wish she looked at me that way. so much naivety and love in those eyes, just waiting to find someone to pour all that onto. those same eyes calling to me, drawing me towards her to crack that pretty shell. break down those barriers so i could twist and manipulate all the vulnerability she was hiding underneath. to claim her as mine so that no one could touch her like i do ever again, so that she wouldn't be able to let anyone touch her like i do ever again. am i a bad person for this? i don’t like to think so. i like to think that i’m doing this so that i wasn't one of the forgotten ones, just a distant memory when she reminisces back on her high school days. no i wanted to be the one, the only one she thinks of when she thinks of high school. all the love, pain and misery that I caused her. deep down i knew it was morally wrong on some level but it was a small enough price to pay to be remembered forever and ever. i’d be the man you’d tell your therapist and kids about. the man that i loved with ‘every fiber of my being’, you were quite the poet chérie, i loved reading those short sentenced poems you wrote about me. it would still kill me to think that anyone has brought your innocent soul discomfort or pain but somehow it brings me closure to know if it was just me. so those pictures were a long term way of me having constant control over you while also making sure no one else ever even made you cringe let alone shed a tear. that was only up to me, my sole job which brought me happiness. i knew it meant that i had an inevitable hold on you which would have some sort of impact but i didn't know the extent of it. i did offer you a proposition i did my part god so i don't know why i could still feel karma following me around like it could creep up and haunt me anytime. it truly was the biggest bitch. it was fair to say the least only you wanted to act greedy, only thinking of your selfish little self. so i just pushed you, i put a ticking timer on the offer. i would never actually leak them darling, they’re to pretty and precious to be tossed around like cigarettes on a sweaty day. you were worth so much more. but you sure thought i would. what kind of devil did you paint me as chérie? i'd never share you with those undeserving and wretched assholes, you’re mine lovie. only mine. so when i felt that shove to the ground in the backside of my house i was unsure of whether you were my chérie or some unworthy little bitch that had taken over. i didnt wanna picture you like that, don’t you know. you left me no choice and we both know that it is only you to blame. you put me in such a difficult dilemma darling, so fucking selfish. classic. but what really got me is how you grabbed that log once you realised you couldn’t fight me off and just hit me. and then everything shut off.

fin.

#one shot #firstshot

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