#first time posting a lot of these guys!! not sure how long this star trek kick will last but im making full use of it

[egg-on-a-legg]

im not a fan of doing group shots but ouuuuhhhh i love drawing my sillies

[affixjoy]

Today I continued my Star Trek journey by rewatching Star Trek (2009) and boy howdy do I have some thoughts.

So first off, I saw this for the first time when I came out in 2009. It wasn’t my first experience with Star Trek, but it was probably my first with Kirk and Spock and that gang. I remember liking it a lot.

Now that I’ve watched all of TOS and a few of the movies with the original cast my feelings are a little more complicated.

Overall, fun movie! I imagine they had to have felt the weight of recasting and redoing such iconic characters, and in a lot of ways they succeeded. It certainly got younger people like me interested in the franchise!

💫 Spock: I do love this version of him. His “live long and prosper” to the VSA is perfectly bitchy and I’m obsessed with it.

💫BONES!! if you’ve read any of my other posts you’ll know that somehow Bones snuck up on me as my favorite character. I love his intro here, and I think Karl Urban gets the tone just right. This really is a buffet for the McKirkers out there, I can see how this led to 1000 academy era fics of them.

💫Kirk: oh Jim. Jimmy Jim Jim. Baby boy. What are you doing. How did being played by Chris Pine (who is incredibly hot) make you LESS attractive??

Obviously this Kirk suffers from some Kirk drift and the added trauma of losing his dad. He’s so much angrier, so much less sweet and nerdy. Rewatching this now I can see why I was so hesitant to like him in TOS because he’s a lot less lovable here.

💫 I get it’s an emergency and they had to for plot reasons, but almost all of Pike’s staffing choices make no sense. Sure, Spock as acting captain, I get that. But everyone else?? Imagine being one of the other people there who has been with starfleet for years and seeing him hand Kirk the role of first officer. The ship can’t be entirely cadets can it?? Imagine the group texts going around after like “thank god he didn’t die because I really need to bitch about this.”

💫 I love all three Uhuras (tos, aos, and snw) and I get why they made her Spock’s love interest here because they’ve got fun chemistry! They have a lot in common, they’re both hot and smart, I get it. But cmon guys, that man is a 6 on the Kinsey scale. You keep pairing him with women and it doesn’t work.

💫 I feel like they worked in lots of little references to classic trek, from plot stuff to smaller details like when Spock enters from the turbolift at the end in a very TMP way. I love that, it makes me feel like the people making the movie really care about the stories and the characters. When Spock Prime says good luck I felt all the weight of his relationship with his Jim and how it changed him. So lovely and touching.

And just how close they made Kirk and Spock stand, especially towards the end of the movie. They were always glued to each other in TOS and JJ must have known us Spirk shippers needed something to latch on to 😅

💫 There’s too much action in this movie for me. We didn’t need to see Scotty beamed into the water tank. The best sf stuff is always story based, I don’t need extravagant fights and cgi shit. I’m sure there are people who watch science fiction for the spectacle but I’m here for the ideas and the feelings.

💫 goddddd everything with Vulcan and losing Amanda. Rip all our hearts out why don’t you. Spock’s mom dying is just heartbreaking. I know they had to lose someone we knew to make the destruction of the planet more real to us as viewers but so crushing to see it.

💫 Old Spock 😭😭😭

He knows right away who Jim is and expects that Jim found him on purpose.

Old Spock just launched right in to the mind meld huh. To me this really says that he and his Jim are on very casual mind meld terms and he’s not fully understanding that this Jim is not his Jim.

Think about how fucking weird all this must be for old Spock. How heartbreakingly strange it would be so see a young version of your husband and send him to a young version of yourself. Meeting all your old friends young selves, years after you’ve lost them all.

And from here out it’s just miscellaneous thoughts I jotted down while watching that don’t fit great anywhere else:

⭐️I love when the redshirt is so excited to get the Romulans and Kirk gets this look like… that’s why you’re here? Dude the battle not the appeal here. A nice glimpse of how this Kirk is similar at heart to TOS Kirk.

⭐️Love you Sulu and your fencing skills

⭐️I love when they stop the lift for emotional reasons.

⭐️“Our destinies have changed” goddddd great speech Spock

⭐️Jim has the look of a man who is frequently escorted places by security

⭐️Spock wants to break Kirk so bad 😂

⭐️When Jim slaps Spock’s back and Spock has a look of “I think that just awakened something in me.”

⭐️Spock you’re calling him Jim already? You slut. (Delighted, affectionate)

Overall I think it’s a fun movie but it misses a lot of what’s at the heart of the classic Trek I love. They try to do everything too fast and it just doesn’t work as well for me. I’m excited to rewatch the next two and see how these versions of the characters change!

[subbyfoxelf]

hey so sorry to jumpscare anyone who's still following me by posting some stuff here for the first time in like literally a year i think? adhd is fun. but yeah, i've really been missing writing something fierce, so i may try to be more present. i cannot promise that i'll be great about keeping up with what y'all are up to on here because the parts of my day i used to fill with scrolling tumblr have seemingly evaporated? but i'll do my best.

anyway, i was listening to a patreon bonus episode of one of my favorite podcasts (hey riddle riddle), and one of the hosts (adal) mentioned that every time he rewatches a tv show he hasn't watched in a while, he usually ends up with a different favorite character than he had the last time he watched it. and that got me thinking about some shows i've rewatched lately, and i realized that's largely been the case for me as well. hardly a shocking revelation of course, but i decided to do what any normal person would do with this information and write a long post no one but me is going to care about about my experience with this phenomenon.

avatar: the last airbender

original favorite: aang

current favorite: zuko

this is the most interesting one to me, and it also feels like it makes a great deal of sense both in terms of how i've changed since the first time i watched this show and also just how the show mechanically works. like... the first time you watch the first few seasons, prince zuko is unambiguously the bad guy for the first few seasons. the show even seems to go out of its way to show him being offered an off-ramp or two and not taking them. which is part of why him finally doing so feels so earned.

watching it the second time through was just a completely different experience. it didn't feel weird whenever zuko did something admirable. it didn't make me roll my eyes whenever he was Going Through It and showed us that he was hurting. it didn't make me angry to see him trying his best for a dad who would never love him. or rather, it did make me angry, very angry, but not at him.

i genuinely think atla is one of the shows that most rewards a rewatch. it was already one of my favorite shows of all time the first time i watched it, but i realized upon rewatching it that i was somehow underrating it in my memory.

star trek: the next generation

original favorite: captain picard

current favorite: riker

honestly there are a bunch of characters on this show i might've called my favorite on any given day when i was younger. i definitely went through phases with worf & geordi too. and embarrassingly i think my first favorite character was probably wesley. but i think the one i most consistently came back to was captain picard. he was aspirational. i wanted to be that good at listening to all sides of an issue but always, always making what i believed with strong moral conviction was the right choice, and being willing to put myself into the literal & figurative line of fire to defend my principles.

and don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of things i admire about picard. but also like... one other consistent thing about my favorite character years ago is that it was for sure never will riker. to be completely honest when i first watched the show i thought he was easily the most boring character. like, what even is a first officer? spock was that and a science officer at the same time. and on top of that the character himself is intentionally channeling the worst star trek captain? are you sure? and the thing that everyone likes about him is that he has a beard? (no offense to anyone but i don't find facial hair attractive.)

to be honest i still don't quite get the beard thing, but wow was i ever sleeping on this guy. will riker is my favorite tng character and it isn't particularly close. part of it is just finally noticing how dang charismatic jonathan frakes is in his unique kind of way, and how much he uses that charisma to be warm & reassuring and just... generally kind of a "good guy"? like, i hate star trek: picard, but i think seeing riker as a wholesome husband & dad is a big part of what made his character finally click for me. and going back & rewatching tng, it was hard not to notice how much he was constantly standing up for people and just... caring.

maybe that's just it. i like "boring" characters who care and want everyone to be ok and will do their best no matter what. and that's will riker.

and yeah, it helps that he's a slut.

star trek: deep space nine

original favorite: worf

current favorite: captain sisko

worf was my favorite star trek character for a good long time and there are still things i admire about him. i'll never not fall for that stupid-ass trick they pull every tng episode where he's having an interpersonal conflict in which he's been carrying the pigheaded idiot ball all episode, and he'll say something that sounds completely unredeemable and reminds you of all the reasons you're on the other person's side, but then he'll pause dramatically and start his next sentence with, "however." and immediately say the coolest shit you've ever heard that shows he's really Grown and Learned (but he'll forget by the next episode because while late-season tng got really good at having at least one character experience character development per episode, it wasn't until ds9 that they showed any signs of actually retaining what they learned from episode to episode).

also like... when we talk about autistic-coded characters i feel like worf often gets left out, but he's just... yeah, guys. yeah.

but on my last rewatch of ds9 it just became abundantly clear to me that captain sisko is the best star trek captain and it isn't especially close. he's every bit the paragon of virtue that picard is, but he's just... more human. more present. more willing to be transparent about what he's dealing with, more willing to talk through his weakness and biases, but still willing to accept the responsibility of command.

different doesn't have to mean better or worse, but especially with the way picard's character careened off the rails & burst into flames the further we got from season 7 of tng, sisko is just indisputably the best captain. and no disrespect to patrick stewart or anyone else who's ever been in front of that camera, but i think it's reasonably likely avery brooks is the best actor that's ever been on star trek. he's just incredible.

star trek: voyager

original favorite: seven of nine

current favorite: tuvok

i still like seven a lot, but tuvok was always one of my favorite characters on the show and rewatching the show really cemented it for me.

i especially like seeing the way he talks about emotions in a genuinely emotionally healthy way. he acknowledges their power, never says they're not real or unimportant, and then talks through them. it's just brilliant.

[nirogryphon]

whats ur parallel fanon

i'm assuming you saw this post, right? are you talking about that specific guy? that's adzuki. idk if you're wanting headcanons about what i think about that boss or an oc lore dump. to me they're both, so that's what you're getting. it's gonna get long, get some popcorn.

in my splatoons world post-memverse runthrough, beans (my four) beg marina to let it out because he saw that it was sentient and wanted it to join his bf as a polycule. It's got a very similar level of kindness and whatnot to beans, but is extremely dry, blunt, and overall "emotionless" (not true, we'll get to that).

you see, i don't think parallel canon is 4, but merely a program made to mimic 4. Marina wanted one of the best in the NSS, so she asked Beans (instead of Ty, who was an elite, but then again, who got their ass handed to all those years ago again?) to offer up a brain scan to get a copy of that fighting skill of theirs for what would become the Parallel canons. Unfortunately, like with any technology, this wasn't perfect, especially with someone who was sanitized like how beans is. That scan ended up grabbing some other aspects of him, like a bit of his personality and, mainly, his fear of himself. He's gotten over it for the most part, at least that's what he thought anyways. When testing, fighting a perfect copy of yourself isn't going to pop up really at all, so this doesn't come up as an issue until Marina's released her little game for the sanitized to use, allowing the one freak scenario to arise.

The rogue code, formerly dormant, activates immediately when beans ends up confronting parallel canon. He's hesitant at first, but remembers it's not him, merely code made to look and fight like them. So, without much worry, he begins to charge at it for the fight, that code kicking in to overdrive and making it act the exact way beans would if it were the other way around. It retreats. It cries out, garbled, in supposed simulated fear. Beans stops in his tracks, staring down at the clone, only seeing his socked face staring back in the reflection of the mask.

This sparks a snowball effect of new programming being written without an author, a program learning, becoming sapient, alive. A scenario that forces one to confront something he wasn't fully ready for and another to realize what it is. Subsequent run attempts, the two keep learning about themselves and eachother in combat, regardless on if either of them like it, until eventually coming to a rather peaceful confrontation, a realization that neither want to hurt the other, and yadda yadda yadda something something long messy story short it's a reconnection with the self and learning to love oneself again. I don't want to get into detail here, I'm personally still torn on whether or not this exact part should be sfw or not, so, lol.

Regardless, it's still ultimately what the memverse was made for: helping the sanitized remember and become themselves again, and while it isn't an evil agent 4, what we got works way better with what I had already and it's just perfect.

As for adzuki itself, I'm not sure exactly the details on its anatomy when given the physical form outside of the memverse. I do want to stick to a very similar palette to what PC has in the memverse, as well as being made out of goo still, but does that mean it's a physical jelleton in the walking world? Don't know for sure yet. I'll work that out in time. Adzuki's voice is an AI recreation of Beans', sounding extremely similar, but obviously synthesized.

As for personality, Adzuki is a lot like beans in its ideals and bonds. However, due to being based off code not meant to emote or show tone, it struggles a lot in doing so, save for a few exceptions. It can only really express emotion through body language instead, and a lot of what it says is extremely clinical, blunt, and dry. Think Data from Star Trek. Of course, that doesn't mean it is emotionless, quite the opposite. Adzuki merely expresses emotions very differently than the regular inkfish. There's also a few ways to gauge how intense the emotion it's feeling is via how unstable the goo it's made out of is or by how bitcrushed its voice has gotten. Essentially: the drippier and messier it is, or the more low quality the voice is, the more intense the emotion it's feeling is.

Some exceptions that break that stoic mask of sorts can be via substance use, like drinking or smoking weed. Once that code is overwritten inside it during these exceptions, Adzuki is almost indifferentiable from beans beyond appearance.

Adzuki, unlike canon PC, loves using the order roller the most out of all the order weapons. It's extremely annoying with it, and enjoys sneaking up on someone to vert-swing them.

[theimaginatrix27]

So it's been a year since I began delving into Star Trek fandom properly

It's officially my birthday in my timezone! This time last year, I was gushing on the server @kintatsujo made for our circle of mutual friends about the best/most well-thought-out part of my Star Trek AU, now dubbed Galactic Warp, after its most important advancement. In a few weeks, it will be the one-year anniversary of my joining the Trek server where I would make all the friends I have in that fandom (particularly gonna shout out @roguetelepaths, who you may have noticed I've been reblogging a lot of posts from of late).

A lot has happened over the past year on that front, if I'll be quite honest. I've posted eight! fanfics for DS9 (holy shit), bringing my number of works on AO3 up into the double-digits and totalling about 140 thousand words! And there are many more to come, I assure you—the plot bunnies living in my brain evolved into tribbles and started churning out ideas for this fandom and these characters, as if making up for lost time.

I hit a lot of milestones this year (remembers the name of the first Trekfic I posted and laughs). Let's see if I can remember them all! :D

I discovered I can write Sci-fi, actually! Honestly I'm looking back at my confident assurance of the exact opposite of this and laughing, because I have proven that claim false in several ways over the past year. (See my Threshold fics for the most obvious example). But like. Also. The backdrop of one of my original series is kind of a Sci-fi setting, so I've been doing this for a while. Yeah, Kinta, laugh it up, you were right and I was very silly.

I can write Star Trek fanfics, actually, and if I mess up on anything, nobody's gonna care! I was so scared I'd embarrass myself in front of a fandom I found very intimidating, but so far, everyone's been so welcoming and people like what I've put out there! They really like it! I'm honestly humbled and grateful for all my lovely readers who have said such nice things to me in fic comments, and in private on Discord. You're all wonderful! But critically, I did make a mistake, and nobody gave a single, solitary shit. The story's an AU anyway, and people have been enjoying it, and I was worried for eleven years over nothing. You won't believe what that does for a lady's confidence.

I've learned some stuff about my own personal writing process, which is a big step forward! I've been taking in writing advice for as long as I've been fully online. I've listened to writer after writer tell me how they work, how they do things, and I've tried plenty of it myself, but to no avail. Earlier this year, I ran out of words to paste into 4TheWords, a website I'd joined several years ago because I liked its premise (turning writing into a game, where you could defeat monsters with words you wrote). I hadn't written on it live before, due to copy/paste issues I was able to resolve (the font in the site editor is different to the font I use on my computer when writing offline), but I actually started doing it because there is a particular group of enemies that are specifically time-based (all enemies have a time limit in which you must defeat them, but these guys set a timer within which you must keep typing), and I thought I could use that as freewriting sessions. Freewriting was something I'd been sure would work for me if I needed to get unstuck, and I'd actually noticed I could untangle issues I had by talking about them with friends in private, often without them even being around to help. So I tried it. And wonder of wonders! I got unstuck! On multiple stories! Just by rambling about them on a timer! And then I started writing words to defeat other enemies on the site live, and wait. How many words did I write this week? On this day? It's been a real game-changer, particularly as my edits count as more words, which impresses the fundamental truth that every word you write matters, even the ones you delete. Even the ones you edit away because the sentence didn't feel right. Even the passages that ultimately don't work. It all matters, and it all helps. And if I get stuck again, there's always the endurance monsters to help me out! About half of the stuff I've posted was shared in the last three months. And it's all thanks to 4TW. If you think this sounds cool, look them up! They're good eggs and don't support generative AI in creative writing. :)

I've also achieved a few writing firsts as a result of that last point!

This probably doesn't come as a surprise to my writer friends, but I've fully accepted the fact that the first thing I need to do as a writer is write. I have heard that a thousand times before, and I knew it was true on some level, but I would always let my anxiety and perfectionism get the better of me, and overthink myself to a standstill. With the method I've been employing on 4TW, I've had to press forward if I want to beat the clock, which has pushed my ADHD brain into doing what I want it to (part of why 4TW works for me is that it sets little deadlines outside myself. I cannot set my own deadlines, I know the person who drew up that schedule and she's too easily distracted and also likes to have fun too much). With even the low-stakes pressure of beat this guy before time runs out, I've been able to at least get started, and once I've picked up a little momentum, I get excited about my stories again, and we can have days where I write over 6000 words in twelve hours, because I don't want to stop!

I've stopped trying to force my chapters to be a certain length. I let each one be as long as it needs to be, and if that's a couple thousand words longer than the last one, fine! It achieved it's purpose for the story, and I'm not going to cut stuff when it was all important! Besides, I've noticed that each story finds its rhythm if I give it the space it needs, and the chapters end up being close to the same length anyways.

I've been getting bolder and bolder about the stories I write or consider writing! Too often in the past, I've been unsure about whether an idea will work for my audience, but the more times I've let myself be weird on main, and nobody has come out of the woodwork to yell at me for it, the easier it's been to be that little bit more wild with my ideas. And having friends to babble to helps with that too, people who tell me to go for it are super important and I appreciate every one of them!

I've actually written stories inspired by prompts! I'd never really done this before. Being prompted by a post is one thing (love ya, Threshold AU), but actually doing prompts for a challenge? That was always difficult for me. I'd always second-guess myself if I came up with any ideas for a particular prompt set, and then procrastinate on trying for years. But this year, I participated in Dominion Week, and although I've only posted four out of the seven prompt fills, I do have ideas for the other three days and will write them when the tribbles are done filling in any gaps they think should be patched in the AUs said prompt fills are relevant to. :D

Related to the above, I wrote oneshots! That stayed oneshots! And one of them stands completely on its own! That. That has never happened before. I've said several times on this blog that I'm not wired for short stories. I wrote my mother a story for her birthday and it was a backstory event from my Ylonaverse because I couldn't think of an idea that could stand on its own. And then Dominion Week happened, and I started two series of single-chapter stories, and wrote a oneshot that was a thought experiment and won't be a part of any of my currently existing AUs, and I'm still mind-blown that that even happened.

It has been a good writing year for me, in other words, despite its ups and downs.

Oh, and I also have had the capacity to Braille up my stories for a year now, and although I'm a perfectionist about this and want the Braille versions to be just right, because I intend to podfic them, I'm still very glad I can Braille things up at all.

But that was gonna happen anyway. The Brailler and paper were part of last year's birthday present, much as the binding combs and binding machine were part of this year's one. And the discussion of that part of my creative life should have its own post at some point. Probably when I have compiled enough to start actually podficking.

[fallynleaf]

Hey, I saw a post you made that mentioned that you went to school for star trek fanzines?? How on earth did you manage that, it sounds like a dream come true!!

it started with me seeing an article about the University of Iowa's fanzine collections! i think it was this exact article from this post in 2015. i had just graduated with my bachelor's degree and was considering going into library science at the time, but my state only had one school with an accredited master's degree program, and i hadn't gotten in the first year i applied to it, so i was sort of trying to figure out what i wanted to do next with my life.

when i read that article, i was really impressed by the University of Iowa special collections having a partnership with the Organization for Transformative Works, so on a whim, i looked to see if they had an accredited library science program. the answer was YES.

i started seriously considering actually applying there, and i found out that they also offered a dual library science master's along with a graduate certificate in book arts, so i thought i'd apply to that program and see what happened.

to my surprise, they accepted me! i also lucked out and managed to get a job that would cover most of my tuition and expenses, so it ended up being actually way cheaper for me to go despite being out of state lol. the downside was that i had to live in Iowa...

but grad school ended up being an amazing experience for me, and my professors were all super awesome and encouraged me to pursue my interests without being at all judgmental of me wanting to learn about fanzines, so i focused heavily on fan culture librarianship, and i spent a lot of time talking to Pete, the curator mentioned in that article, haha (he's extremely knowledgeable and also has so much respect toward fan culture. just a really great guy all-around; he truly deserves the opportunities he's gotten there).

i also studied zines from a book arts perspective, and learned about the history of the medium and got to meet one of the main scholars who is studying zines and archives.

i spent the rest of my degree taking way too many extra book arts credits (i actually applied for a full dual master's, an MFA in book arts along with the master's in library science, but i barely didn't get in (ended up being for the best in the long run, as i graduated right before covid lol), so i just have a graduate certificate in book arts and not a double master's degree). i took my required library science credits and did as many of my projects as i could about zines and fan studies stuff, haha, and then i filled the rest of my time by learning literally every book arts skill offered at UIowa.

there was surprisingly quite a bit of synergy between the two! special collections has quite a few people working there who also specialize in book arts stuff, so they got very familiar with me as a fellow librarian and also as a regular patron of special collections, either for my book arts classes or just because i kept visiting in order to read the Star Trek fanzines in my spare time, hahaha.

it's sort of an oblique angle to approach fanzines from, because most of what i studied was sort of, like, studying around the content, like i studied the material conditions that zines were made in as well as some of the issues with storing, archiving, and studying them rather than, like, analyzing the actual content of the zines, but it did put me frequently in contact with the zines and greatly expanded my understanding of pre-internet fandom.

the downside was that i ended up with a pretty print-material-heavy library degree (with some additional specialized knowledge that isn't very applicable in most library settings, since fanzine collections aren't exactly common...), and covid ended up largely killing my desire to remain in the library field.

so in terms of careers, i'm not sure it really did a whole lot for me (though in terms of personal growth it was a really incredible time and i don't regret it at all). i've pivoted away from libraries and back toward writing as my main career goal, and have spent the past few years also trying to learn Japanese translation so that i could maybe pursue that as a career. i concluded i need a work from home job, basically, lol.

i'm actually considering eventually reaching out to some of my book arts connections and seeing if i could find extremely niche work translating like Japanese papermaking stuff for English-speaking book conservators and such HAHA. but i'm waiting for my Japanese skill to be better before i try looking into that, since i'm not qualified at this point for any sort of professional translation work.

in the meantime, i've been learning translation by practicing with pro wrestling, hahaha. (i got into pro wrestling like two months before i finished grad school lol)

now my library degree lives on inside of me mainly through the work i've done volunteering with the OTW, some small zine projects and other book arts stuff i've done, and me using my book arts supplies/know-how to create materials for doing activism.

[hideyseek]

6. 10, 11? For ur ao3 wrapped? Mehabs?

(im on mobile if something is weird. No it isnt)

bro ,,,,, im so sorry to report something was weird, i only saw this guy come in today he was not in my inbox before. apology for delay. but hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yes thank you for the ask!!!!! of course i will answer i love to fucking TALK hehe :3

ao3 wrapped asks

6. Favorite title you used?

mmmm hehe. i'm gonna answer this based purely on title vibes as opposed to like "how well the title fits the fic" bc i wrote a bunch of shorter (to me) fics without a lot of internal thematic happenings that a title could reflect and so i don't really think of anything i published that a title is doing very much work.

i think my favorite title of anything published this year is i wish you the wind just because ah ... what a phrase! no idea what this means but it sounds so damn romantic to me! really has a flavor of like ... bittersweet farewell!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

mmm, haha. well, two answers to this i suppose. on one hand, there was keep me here which unfortunately i wrote in about one day from nothing (and therefore had approximately 12 minutes to revise) because i was determined to post SOMETHING for that day of kaze week 2023. but the first fic that came to mind (and perhaps the most accurate answer, time-wise) was my drabble from week 2 of inception wicked which came together in about three hours total drafting, but there was a span of several days (and truthfully several days that felt like several weeks lol) between me initially having the idea and sitting down to draft. but like, to be fair, it is about 400 words so revising goes exponentially quicker. truly this shocked even me, though i guess really what this means is i already was primed with a bunch of subconscious thoughts about the dynamic in this fic lol. (you can read it here on the gdoc with the other fics from that week! bc i haven't gotten around to posting on ao3 yet lol. content warnings for: semi-explicit sexual content, fantasizing about a married couple, voyeurism)

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hmm ... i don't know if there's a winner for anything i published, tbh. most of the rest of the kaze week fics from january kind of came together in a span of 3-5 days depending on the fic, and most of the other drabbles for both events came together in about the alotted week. so instead i'm going to gleefully misinterpret this question so i can talk about my beloved unpublished nemesis project, narrative!fic :3

i hate that guy! (<- said extremely lovingly) i probably earnestly worked on this fic for ... 4 or 5 months of this year? had a nice breakthrough for some story logic in august / september ish, outlined from that through october, and wrote pretty diligently for most of november. (i did tell my roommate fully two years ago, "hey you need to watch kazetsuyo so i can make you betaread this fic i'm writing at the end of the year, i'll watch star trek with you in exchange". that was literally 2021 lmao. they have not yet seen a draft bc there has not been a draft worth having anybody else look at yet.)

i think the thing that has made the process of drafting narrative!fic so long is really just that, for the last two-ish years, narrative!fic wasn't actually a story to me, so much as it was a project into which i dumped all my post-college facing-the-future feelings and loosely tied up with a string called "i'm sure i can make haiji go through this as well". but then, due to various life events in april of this year, suddenly i came back to the draft and it was like: oh. ohhh, okay. i can see how this can be a story, actually. this is about haiji, as a character, as opposed to haiji, as a semi-direct proxy for myself. and then over the next few months i cut out a ton of stuff and reworked his main arc and now it's like ... a story, instead of just a bunch of feelings and events. which, truly, is only my personal marker for what i was looking for from the project. like, i personally want a separation of my own experiences from what is in my fic, i want to be thinking about developments in the fic as narrative choices the story requires rather than as alternatives to how my own life could have gone. (which ultimately may well be the same thing but its the headspace im in, for me).

and i think the other part is just -- i didn't know how to write! i mean, obviously i know how to string words into a sentence lol. but a LOT of i guess the first two years of drafting and then setting all the drafted stuff aside to start again from scratch like four times over, was me learning to like, figure out my own longfic writing process. (big sobbing emoji, lmao. i remember in my youth reading about maggie stiefvater having 200k of unused draft material for one of the trc books and i was like, how??? and now i am like: yeah. unfortunately i get it. not that my tossed-out drafter material is of that specific magnitude. but there is a lot of it, goddamn.) and now that i've got at least an initial / foundational sense of it, the hardest part is only actually sitting down and writing. (i say as if this is not also, extremely challenging for me lol). so uh, i guess i'll say here "maybe this time next year i'll really have a full draft of narrative!fic", and. we'll see how that goes :3

[sshbpodcast]

Top 3 Star Trek Voyager alien races

By Ames

Now that we’re almost back in the Alpha Quadrant, we at A Star to Steer Her By have got a little time to reflect back on our time in the Delta Quadrant. As we saw in our two recent posts, we made a lot of really fascinating friends and really diabolical enemies, but possibly the most refreshing thing about being so far from the familiar faces of home is just how many unfamiliar faces we get to meet! Truly, the aliens we meet 70,000 light years from home are simultaneously wildly varied and also bear the same resemblances to the kinds of people that are truly universal, in every respect of the word.

And sure, the show goes out of its way to introduce some of the staple alien races we know from the other shows, sometimes in more contrived ways than others. But in my humble opinion, it’s when we meet these unique races that are like nothing else that the show really shines. So let’s whip out our First Contact handbook, try not to break the Prime Directive too much, and meet our favorite alien races from Voyager as you scroll on below or listen to this week’s triple-header episode (discussion starts at 1:22:56). Live long and prosper!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Jake – More than meets the eye

Vidiians

Species 8472

Voth

These three alien races prove to be more than they seem, as Jake tends to spotlight characters who surprise you with their hidden depths. The Vidiians may be pushed to forcible organ harvesting to survive, but they become fascinating when you see that not all of them are ruthless. Everything about Species 8472 is cool: they live in fluidic space, their bio-ships take out Borg cubes, AND they adapt enough to disguise themselves as Starfleet! Finally, the Voth are freakin’ dinosaurs! What’s not to love about that Galileo allegory story? Rawr!

—

Caitlin – Best friends forever!

Talaxians

Ocampans

Hirogens

It may have taken a while, but even Caitlin’s heart was melted by the hardy people of Talax, most notably their Starfleet ambassador who won us over through his consistent writing, never-ending kindness, and character growth throughout the seasons. Another familiar face came in the Ocampans, whose contrast between their short lives and potential for supernatural powers made them phenoms (when the writers remembered). And while they never made it to the point of allies, we still enjoyed seeing the variety of Hirogens we met, especially J.G. Hertzler’s Tsunkatse fighter! 

—

Ames – Pour one out for…

Vidiians

Borg

Silver Blood Duplicates

My three picks all make you empathize with them because Voyager shows you such a multifaceted and complete picture of their society. Like Jake, I’m shining some spotlight on our Phage-riddled friends whose actions you can’t help but be both sympathetic for and horrified by. I’ll also always put Borg on my list evidently because every new thing we learn about their nature has me transfixed. And the doppel-crew from “Course: Oblivion” create such an effective story and such an original take on an alien race that I just had to include them.

—

Chris – There’s a little rebel in you

Borg

Takarians

Vidiians

Something I’ve noticed about Chris’s favorites is he always loves it when the little guy fights back. We see so many sides of the Borg and yet we are always engaged by them, especially when it becomes a theme that humanity can be brought back to those who resist. It was also easy to side with the Takarians from “False Profits” because they were so quick to immolate the Ferengi (who can blame them?). And here’s a little more love for the Vidiians, especially Danara Pel who proves there can still be humanity underneath a monster face.

— Say good-bye to some of our favorites as we leave them in the dust in the Delta Quadrant where they’ll be no tribble at all. We’ve only got one more episode of Voyager left in our watch-through over on the podcast, so don’t miss our final thoughts over on SoundCloud or wherever you listen and follow along here on the blog for our series wrap! Come in for a landing with us on Facebook and Twitter, and keep an eye on your organs. There may be Vidiians about.

[cheer-deforest-kelley]

This is the amazing day I met DeForest Kelley on the set of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

My boss was friends with a woman who worked on a few of the Star Trek movies. He introduced us and told her of my love for DeForest and she invited me to the set when De was filming.

I could not take photos as it was a closed set, but it didn’t matter as everything I saw was burned into my soul.

In late December 1988, I drove through the gates of Paramount Studios and parked right by the Star Trek Production trailer (Trailer 12). My head spun as I walked inside and was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the making of a Star Trek movie. While sitting in my friend’s office, a voice on the walkie-talkie said that Bill and De were in their dressing rooms. My head exploded.

My friend walked me to the stage that was the Enterprise bridge and I got to sit in Captain Kirk’s chair (my feet didn’t touch the ground—literally and figuratively). I saw Director’s chairs with the names William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley embroidered on the backs. I would have loved to sit in De’s chair, but all I could do was touch the arm as we walked by.

The Stage Manager told us that Bill was on the New York street set, so we left the stage and walked to an outside set with a high stage. When we arrived, Bill was being strapped into a harness (which fit around his torso, waist and crotch and which would allow him to be lifted into the air). His legs were bare and very white (he was wearing gym shorts). He was making jokes and talking in a very high pitched voice as they tightened the straps around his nether region.

I forgot all about Bill when I heard a voice on a walkie-talkie say that De was stepping out of his trailer and would arrive in a moment. My heart started pounding and I started feeling very warm (it was 49 degrees outside— which by the way, is considered freezing for Southern California). I turned around and saw DeForest Kelley ambling towards me. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a dark green sweatshirt, a light blue jean jacket with a fleece collar, black cowboy boots and a multicolored scarf around his neck.

Tears welled up in my eyes. De said hello to a few people, hugged my friend and she then walked him over to me. She told him my name and said where I worked. De shook my hand for a very long time (eventually just holding my hand rather than shaking it) and called me a spy because I worked at different studio than Paramount. He commented on how cold it was and lifted his sweatshirt up to his chin to show us a fleece-lined shirt that a fan from Seattle made him. He was very charming and chatty; I said a few sentences but was mostly mute (just call me Gem).

After a few minutes, he said it was great to meet me, shook my hand again and went to talk to Bill (who was now wearing sweatpants with yellow stripes and a blue uniform tunic that was unlike their usual uniforms). They talked for a while, laughed a lot and then hugged goodbye. Bill (being the Director) had to leave to watch a previously filmed scene— he was driven away. Suddenly all the commotion on the set just stopped and much of the crew left, however De stayed.

He came over to talk to us again (OMG!!) and said “It’s always hurry up and wait.” I responded “That’s showbiz.” He laughed (thank God) and said “That’s right, you know it!” I found my voice this time when he asked about my job. We talked for at least 10 minutes— discussing the cold weather again, his being a little sad that production on the film was almost done (You’re sad De? Let me hug and console you.) and what we were respectively doing for New Year’s Eve. For De, it was was “Absolutely nothing except kiss my wife before midnight since we don’t stay up that late.”

A man holding a humungous binder came over and said he needed De. De said “Bye now” and left (sob!!). Of course I kept my eyes glued on him. After he conversed with the binder guy, he talked to some crew members, but when they left, he stood alone for about 5 minutes, during which he smoked two cigarettes (he had a very nice lighter). He looked around and found a random Director’s chair and plunked down in it (he first pounded the chair with his fist, to make sure it was sturdy-- it was an old looking chair).

Bill was gone for over an hour (lucky me). I was free to wander around the set, but I mostly stayed close and kept an eye on De; he talked to the crew, left once (potty break?), read a magazine and smoked-- sad to say he constantly smoked. He once looked over at me and gave me a big smile.

When Bill returned, they were ready to film the scene when Kirk falls from Yosemite’s El Capitan and McCoy berates him. There was a publicity photographer taking pictures of everything, including this scene (which happened to be printed in a magazine and is my first picture posted here).

The Assistant Director called for De, who stood up and unbuttoned his jacket. A woman appeared and De closed his eyes as she touched up his make-up and combed his hair (I wanted to comb his soft hair). Two big burly men then lifted De (by his outstretched arms and butt) onto the elevated stage; they lifted him so high and hard, he literally flew into the air before landing on the stage on one foot-- he caught his balance and then turned back to them laughing with his eyes wide. They both laughed nervously and said “Sorry De.”  He told them they were very strong.

On the stage was the bottom part of El Capitan made out of fiberglass. At the time, not knowing anything about the story, it just looked like a huge rock surrounded by dirt, boulders and trees. There were screens surrounding the stage that looked like blue sky with clouds.

They connected wires to Bill’s body harness. He was lifted just off the ground and then quickly hung upside down where he swung around loosely. De came over and bent down with his face very close to the upside down Bill and they spoke quietly between themselves; De then stepped back and Bill called “Action!” Kirk said “Hi Bones, mind if we drop in for dinner?” and laughed like he was a little drunk. De took a step forward, bent down and McCoy started yelling at the slightly twirling Kirk. Kirk patted McCoy’s ears and squeezed his cheeks, laughing and making little noises. They quickly filmed the scene twice. The first time went fine, but the second time, they both began laughing and De said to the upside down Bill, “Kiss me.” They quickly kissed on the lips (I know, I know!!) and the entire crew cracked up. Bill called “Cut!” and someone else yelled “Lunch—45 minutes.” De said goodbye to the crew, got into a car, lit a cigarette and was driven away.

I had to get back to work. I walked (floated actually) to my car and drove out of the studio gate, ecstatic that one of my wildest dreams had come true.

A month later, my friend gave me my very own Final Frontier cast & crew jacket (similar to the one McCoy wore in the campfire scene), a photo of the cast & crew (Leonard’s and De’s smiles are absolutely adorable), some Star Trek notecards and a cast publicity photo.

Sorry this is so long. It’s taken from a note I typed up when I got back the the office that day. I didn’t want to forget a thing.

[elise-51-blog]

WIP "Run to Daylight"

(For @shovitch , I've been stuck on this fic for so long, and there's no Kyle in this snippet, but it's one of the better written portions, and you were so nice to remind me that there are other Guy Gardner fans out there, so maybe I'll get inspired after posting this....Here you go, luv. <3 )

Summer 1989

He is nine years old and the days are eternities. 

Every day he runs out after breakfast and stays out until sundown; no one knows where Guy has been all day, but no one worries too much, neither. Bobby’s big brother Joe pitches to all the neighbor kids all day, and even though Guy can’t really hit too good, Joe calls Guy “Charlie Hustle” and cheers for him when he runs around the basepath like a maniac. Later, Joe gives Guy Pete Rose’s Winning Baseball, and even though it’s a book for grown ups, Guy slowly makes his way through the whole stinkin’ thing. 

When Dad’s not working he’s out with Mace, taking him through football drills. That’s okay though, football’s boring. Guy borrows VHS tapes of the ‘75 and ‘76 World Series games from the library. He starts running to first base after ball four, and everyone laughs at him, but screw those guys because bookin’ it to first on a walk is exactly what Charlie Hustle does. 

Just before school starts, Guy’s mom looks up from her book after dinner and tugs at his shaggy hair.

“We’ll get your haircut tomorrow.”

“Can I get it how I want?”

Dad’s still out with Mace.

She swallows a little wine and looks back down at her book. “Sure, baby.”

He pumps his fist and darts in to kiss her cheek, dumping his dishes in the sink. Star Trek’s on in just a minute. “Thanks, Mom!”

He brings Pete Rose’s baseball card with him to the barbershop the next morning. When he shows it to the barber, his mother looks over his shoulder, That’s really what you want? but she’s got a smile with it too, so he nods excitedly and starts telling them both about why Pete Rose is his favorite player, except maybe for Brooks Robinson, but even Pete Rose thinks Brooks Robinson is in a higher league than anyone else ever, and Pete Rose can play just about any position and he’s so good that he was intentionally walked in game three of the World Series in 1975, bases loaded, you know, that’s how much of a threat Pete Rose was, they couldn’t take a chance. What a great team that was, Joe Morgan and Johnny Bench, but Pete Rose, boy, he always plays to win. He once said he’d walk through hell in a gasoline suit just to play baseball, and the barber laughs even as his mom tells him not to say “hell.”

When they get home, his dad looks right at him for the first time all summer.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Mom turns around from the kitchen sink. “He likes his hair that way, Rolly.”

“It’s stupid. It looks like we can’t afford to get him a decent clip.”

Guy pipes up. “It’s like Pete Rose wears it, Dad. It’s cool.”

“Oh, it’s cool, is it?” Dad grabs a beer from the fridge and heads to his recliner by the tv. “You don’t see your brother goin’ around in a faggy haircut just to be cool. You know where your brother is now?”

Guy waits for the answer.

“He’s out drillin’ his footwork so he can play a real man’s sport.”

His mom turns back to the sink. “He likes baseball, Rolly.”

“You’re turnin’ him into a sissy.” 

Guy stays near his mom when Rolly leaves. She sighs, looking him over with her hands in the soapy water. “Maybe it’s best if we change it, baby.”

He clenches his teeth at the unfairness of it all. He knows to a certainty that Mace cuts his hair like Joe Montana, and it’s definitely “just to be cool.” 

“I don’t care what he thinks.”

She nods as if she already knew what he’d say. “Just try not to set him off again, okay?”

He goes upstairs in his room to flip through Winning Baseball. He hears Mace slam through the front door just before dinnertime. When he comes upstairs to change, Mace pokes his head into Guy’s room and snorts, pushing his dumb, sweaty feathered bangs back. Girls had been coming around a lot more recently; Mace seemed to have skipped the awkwardness of puberty and went straight to Chick Magnet. 

“That’s pretty bad, Guy.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re gonna get the shit beat out of you at school.”

“Pete Rose doesn’t get beat up.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re not Pete Rose.”

“You used to like baseball too, you know. I’m not stupid, I found your old baseball cards.”

Mace’s face pinches up. “It’s just a little kid’s game.”

“No it’s not.”

“Whatever,” Mace hesitates in the doorway. “Look, I know you don’t care what people think, little brother. But, believe me, life’s gonna be a lot easier if you start.”

Guy shakes his head, biting down on his cheek. “So what, be more like you? Dad’s little soldier?”

Mace stares past Guy to the 8x10 glossy of the ‘66 Orioles hanging over his bed Mom had found at a garage sale. 

“It might help.”

“I hate him.”

Mace doesn’t say anything, doesn’t look at him. “You’re too young to understand anything.”

“I understand he’s a drunk and he’s an asshole.”

That gets Mace’s full attention. “Shut up.”

“No,” and for some reason Guy wants to cry, but he pushes it all down just a little bit longer.

“You don’t remember how he was,” Mace pinches his nose. “Life’s not a baseball game, Guy. It’s more complicated. People get…they get hurt, or sad. They get fired. Forgotten about. You just…you don’t get it.”

“He hits Mom.”

That gets Mace to flinch, which feels kind of good.

“He doesn’t mean to.”

Guy feels a hot flush all over, and suddenly his chest is tight, his throat is tight, and his face is wet, his eyes blurry. “I hate this family.”

Mace stares at his feet. “I know.”

Mace tells him he’d better clean up for dinner, and he does. They’re quiet at the table until Dad makes another jab at Guy’s hair. Mace cuts in and asks Dad about how great Joe and the 49ers were looking this year, and how they’d go all the way, no question. How it was a shame that the Colts look like crap, that’s what they get for moving away, and would they ever get football back in Baltimore? Surely, surely they would, no doubt about it. It just makes Rolly mad that the whole goddamn city had to suffer just because a couple greedy Jews got bored and decided to swap a few franchises around. Goddamn Irsay and his goddamn LA Rams, goddamn shame to see the Colts in Indianapolis of all places, who the hell thought that up?! Mace just nods his head along, shooting Guy little glances, making sure his little brother’s not about to screw up dinnertime again, upset Almighty Dad by speaking or tipping over a glass of  milk or something.

The first day of school a sixth grader tells Guy he looks like a retard. 

“Takes one to know one, chucklehead.”

“Watch your mouth, Opie--”

Guy charges him, puts his head into the kid’s gut real hard, but the kid’s a lot bigger and after a few seconds Guy’s wrestled to the ground, his arms pinned, the jackass sitting on his chest until Guy can hardly breathe. 

Three weeks later nothing is better, and Mace keeps telling him it’s only going to get worse in middle school and Don’t get a reputation as a weirdo now, stupid. So Guy asks his mother to take him back to the barber, and she doesn’t even put up a fuss like he expects: it must be that bad. 

When the barber asks him what he wants he just shrugs and swallows and tells him he doesn't really care all that much. His mother says she’s always liked it short because he’s got “such a nice bone structure,” whatever that means. The barber gives him a flattop, short and clean all around.

It doesn’t take too long. “See, now that’s a haircut. I could set my watch to that haircut.” 

His mother laughs, such a rare sound, and the barber keeps rolling, “We got a young Johnny Unitas right here. You play football, kid?”

Mom pets him on the head, and he feels about five years old. “He likes baseball.”

“Mickey Mantle, then. Ol’ Mick always kept a clean look too. Real timeless.”

Guy hates the Yankees.

He’s quiet in the car. His mother tells him he looks very grown up and keeps a hand on his knee the whole ride home.

[sirfrogsworth]

Analysis: Are my speakers too damn loud??

Katrina was worried that my big home theater speakers could be damaging my hearing. So I downloaded a decibel meter on my phone and took some average readings of some of my listening habits.

First, what volumes are safe?

According the the OSHA chart, anything 85 decibels or higher is iffy. Some feel that chart isn't conservative enough. Most hearing specialists recommend the NIOSH chart instead.

Except for extraordinarily loud sounds, hearing damage is cumulative. So the charts give you a time limit for how long you can listen to certain decibels in a 24 hour period without too much risk of hearing damage.

It's not a perfect chart. There are some variables it can't account for. Some people have more sensitive hearing. Some are more prone to hearing loss due to genetics. And the older you get, the more at risk your ears are.

I also read that bass frequencies can do less damage because they pass through objects more easily and vibrate your eardrums and cochlea at a slower rate. That was on a forum post, so take that information with a grain of salt.

That said, I'm pretty sure much of my volume is due to my subwoofer, so I may have to retest things without it to get a more accurate picture.

I did my measurements with the free "Sound Meter" app over several minutes and got an average result. I held the phone's microphone close to where my ear usually is. I picked volumes that felt natural to me—that I found most pleasing and immersive for the given content.

The Results

Background Listening - 70 dB This is when I'm working on the computer and not paying attention to what I'm watching or hearing.

Attentive Listening - 78 dB This was the average for most of the stuff I measured. Probably 80% of my listening per day. This is when I was really interested in the content and wanted to take advantage of my good speakers for more enjoyment and immersion. This included talking-head YouTube videos, shows with mostly dialogue, and some music that didn't have crazy bass or drums.

Sci-fi/Action Listening - 80-82 dB This was the average when watching Star Trek: Lower Decks. It had a good mix of dialogue, orchestral music, explosions, and other spacey sound effects. I also tested Free Guy which was more dynamic and had Atmos with sound from my ceiling speakers. It went from 78 and maxed out at 82. I did have some peaks above 90 but only for a split second at a time and it was definitely the subwoofer.

General Music Listening - 82 dB This was when I really wanted to enjoy my music and cranked it up to feel the subwoofer vibrate my innards. I could probably be perfectly happy listening to music 1 or 2 decibels quieter, but I only listen to music for a few hours per day at most.

Heavy Metal Music - 86 dB This was the highest average and probably the only super concerning one. I think this was due to the constant double bass drum keeping my subwoofer active. So it may not be as worrying as it seems if that thing about low frequencies is true. I should probably retest without a subwoofer at some point. Even so, I will keep this in mind when the next metal song appears in my playlist and just nudge the volume down a bit. Also, I am only an occasional connoisseur of Satan's serenades.

Conclusions & Other Thoughts

I think with a few adjustments to my habits I'm pretty safe. My natural volume seems to be 78 dB which both charts feel is in the green. And I don't think I'd ever binge a big sci-fi or action show for more than 16 hours in a day. Sometimes I sleep 16 hours in a day. Hopefully this will quell Katrina's fears.

She was worried because when she visited she felt everything was super loud. But she had never experienced a home theater like mine before. I basically crammed a movie theater into my room. I think big speakers can be deceptive. They *feel* louder because they are just pushing a lot more air around the room. They also have a huge frequency range so you are hearing more sounds than with regular TV speakers or cheap soundbars. It's coming from every direction and the subwoofer is super intense if you aren't used to it outside of a cinema.

I was surprised to find out my tiny TV speakers measure about 75 decibels at comfortable and easily intelligible volumes. That is 5 dB higher than I felt my big speakers needed to be in order to easily understand what people were saying.

It seems smaller speakers that are farther away need to work much harder to make their limited frequency range more understandable. With my nice speakers, I probably could have decreased them several more decibels and still been able to understand everything perfectly. Having a dedicated center channel for dialog helps a lot too.

Oh... and do you want to know what the loudest thing I measured in my room was?

My new fidget clicker got up to 95 decibels! I'm not too worried because it was right next to the phone when I was measuring and the sound is literally for a few milliseconds at a time. But I couldn't understand why my maximum peaks were getting so damn high.

[themadauthorshatter]

More HTF Headcanons!!!

When he gained unnecessary weight, Diso Bear turned to Flippy for help, as Flippy was a part for the army, and Flippy accepted, because DB's whole aesthetic made him laugh.

After a day, which left Flippy just about normal and DB sweating and dry heaving, both somewhat agreed that maybe Flippy wasn't the best health instructor; running for a mile is not a warm up.

Flippy does listen to ASMR, he just has a problem with some some roleplays and eating ASMR videos.

Splendid is a terrible superhero, but is still a good guy.

Flaky tried cutting her quills to not prick anything or anyone. Spoiler alert: It didn't work. At all.

Handy and Flippy hang out a lot. Their version of a high five is bumping wrists/elbows(wherever Handy lost his hands).

Don't ask Handy how he lost his hands. He'll tell you to ask Lumpy.

Don't ask Lumpy how Handy lost his hands. He doesn't remember.

Lammy and Flaky get along. They're only on a talking basis, but are friendly with each other.

Flippy is allergic to venison(deer). It makes his skin breakout into hives and hurts his stomach to the point he throws up. It was even worse when he added a bunch of spices in order to block the venison.

Sniffles is took smart for his own good, and often forgets to use common sense because, for him, it's big brain time all the time.

Cuddles accidentally scared Flippy once and got thrown jiu-jitsu style for it, as in a panicked Flippy chucked him a good 20 to 30 feet. Cuddles laughed about it, because while he knew Flippy was strong, he didn't think he was THAT strong, but that didn't stop Flippy from apologizing.

Flaky's really good at hide and seek... as long as you don't follow the trail on dandruff😅

Flippy and Nutty tried having a debate, but it quickly dissolved into a fist fight. It took a lot of people to pull the two off each other, and the two argued about who won the fight before they were forced to call it a draw becore someone called to police.

Remember how Flippy got hit by a truck after he got over his trauma? Well, when he came back, he was so pissed that he sat in the woods and glared at a tree he didn't like. Cuddles, Flaky, Petunia, and Giggles joined him, all sourfaced and disappointed in Lumpy.

They all looked at each other and laughed their asses off, though, because they thought it was funny to see how they looked.

Flippy is a terrible chef. He's used to rations, a quick meal(because there could be a battle going on and you need to be alert), and on the Alex Honnald diet of taking random things and cooking them in a pan for a meal or quick snack.

When it came time to release the soldiers from service, a test was conducted to make sure they'd be okay. Many failed and stayed behind to stem their instincts and some passed with flying colors. Guess which one Flippy was.

Flippy's pill aren't enough to stem his instincts, and it does not help that Lumpy was useless.

When the carnival's open, Flippy and Flaky work there for money(they need to eat) and exposure therapy, and they get to go on the rides and play games for free.

While Flaky worked at the dunk tank, Flippy said, 'hi' and checked on her, because she looked insanely nervous. Turns out she didn't bring her swimsuit and doesn't want to get wet because she didn't bring a towel either; she slept in. It was hot out, and Flippy was boiling, because he usually wears his army coat, so he, out of a shred of annoyance, made her fall in the tank. Flaky called him an ass, but Flippy made it up to get by getting her swimsuit, a towel, and saying they can swap.

Flippy always wears his army 'jacket' because it's comfortable; he likes the weight of it. He has let Flaky borrow it befire she told him to take it back and just carry her, because she cannot walk with half her weight on her back and shoulders.

There are instances where Flippy doesn't wear his coat, and he's more far off and instead wears noise canceling headphones.

As a surprise, Giggles and Flippy got gnome things for Flaky. Flippy got her a giant gnome plush, one almost as big as her, and Giggles for her a gnome keychain, one that fit in her hands and worked as a fidget, and for when she couldn't take the gnome plush out of the house.

They high fived when they saw her reaction.

Flaky has tried anti-anxiety pills. It did not end well.

Contrary to what Nutty thinks, Flippy DOES like sweets, he just doesn't eat them that much because he likes to be in shape; it's comfortable.

Cuddles once had to spend the night at Flippy's because he lost the keys to his house and Giggles was out of town. He learned that Flippy not only usually sleeps on the couch, but doesn't sleep that much in the first place. And learned first hand that Flippy's specialty is an omelet, when it comes to food.

Flippy is kind of an insomniac. He can't tell if he doesn't want to avoid nightmares or if it's because he just likes to stay up because of how quiet it is.

That night at Flippy's was, honestly, the most peaceful for both. They watched the stars, sat in quiet, and just had small conversations.

Does Flippy miss the war? No. Does he miss serving to protect everyone? A little bit. Does he miss being a part of something bigger than himself? Absolutely. Was it all worth it? Yes and no. Would he go back and do it all again, including seeing his friends and comrades die, if given the chance? NO.

He wouldn't go back, anyway; he'd have to make sure Cuddles, Giggles, and Flaky didn't smuggle themselves into his luggage to follow him, and it wouldn't be worth going back, at that point, after seeing them.

Surprisingly, Giggles used to try dating Flippy. She stopped when they tried to be 'intimate😉,' and it got to be took awkward and they ended up just watching Star Trek.

Petunia has better luck with dating Flippy. She turned to Flaky for any useful info, first, like what scents not to wear, how 'fast' she should go, thungs she should be careful with concerning what she says or any sounds that are made around her house, etc.

Flaky asked what kind of lightswitches she had, amd Petunia admitted she had those adjustable and Flaky knew Flippy was going to fall in love with this girl.

I'll focus more on our main 5 in another post.

WHICH WILL BE FREE FOR EVERYONE TO USE BECAUSE I'M NOT PETTY ENOUGH TO ILLEGALLY MONETIZE MY FAN-STUFF FOR OTHER FANS!!!!!

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

It's Delicate: Part II

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author’s Note: Here's the second part in It's Delicate, my first chapter fic. I've planned out kind of where I see this eventually going! Thank you to anyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs. It really means the world to me.

Content Warnings: Expletive language (3 uses), mentions of drug use, sexual innuendo

READ PART I

It's Delicate Masterlist

It's Delicate

Sitting on the plane, Spencer looks out from the little window. For hours, there’s been nothing but corn fields and clouds. It’s eerily peaceful, being there high above the clouds. His whole life Spencer has felt this distance between him and everyone else, but nothing makes that feeling more prominent than being strapped in a glorified metal box 35,000 feet off the Earth’s surface. But the thing is, Spencer does need to be flying above the trees to feel lonely. He can do that with two feet on the ground.

Luke sits across Spencer, the table between them and a deck of playing cards are spread out across its surface. He has to nudge Spencer’s leg from under the table, trying to bring him back to reality as he stares out the window.

“Whatcha thinking,” Luke asks, Spencer has been noticing more and more that Luke is one of the few people that actually listens to him.

Spencer, whose mind is racing too fast to even formulate an articulate thought, attempts to dodge Luke’s question with a noncommittal shrug.

“Reid, these cases are hard for all of us, you gotta know that man,” Luke says, laying down a four of a kind.

Spencer narrows his eyes, shocked that it hasn’t clicked yet for the rest of the team. He cracks his neck, preparing to answer Luke.

“We almost locked up an innocent man, Alvez. I almost sent another man to the same fate as myself. What kind of fucked up message is that?” Spencer says, throwing down the cards on the table. He doesn’t wait for Luke to respond.

“I fold,”

Spencer walks off into the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee. He doesn’t want to think about his increased reliance on coffee, because he knows it’s a hot cup of coffee or a cold needle of Dilaudid in his veins. Spencer checks his watch, it’s 10:17 pm, maybe too late to find a meeting at a church or rec center somewhere.

He sneaks a peak at his phone, which was still unfortunately on Airplane Mode, he hasn’t even gotten a chance to see if Y/N has responded. He doesn’t know much about her, just as much as she knows about him.

It’s a brave new world for Spencer and he’s knee deep into the unknown.

Spencer can feel Luke’s eyes on him. He just knows that the minute he gets home, a certain tech expert will be ringing him. He knows that it’s Luke’s way of caring, but for someone who’s been alone for so long, having people that actually care is almost drowning.

Walking back to his seat, Spencer hands Luke a coffee. He smiles slightly; it’s the awkward smile that he used to make when intimating police chiefs and idiot cops would look him up and down like he’s a TA. It’s a peace offering for Luke, who despite his tough looking exterior, is one of the kindest people Spencer knows.

“Look, Reid. I’m sorry that we didn’t put it together. It’s just that man that we caught, he’s not like you. He’s not innocent of crimes, he’s just innocent of this crime,” Luke says in an attempt to make Spencer feel a little bit better.

“The thing is Luke, I’m exactly like that man,”

Spencer returns to staring out the window. The cards and the coffee on the table are long ignored for the silence that is found when you’re high above the clouds.

--

Spencer hears Tara and Emily murmur quietly about going out for a round of drinks. Luke accepts, while JJ and Matt decline, eager to get home to their families. Emily looks over at Spencer, her eyes silently scanning him, his body language. Spencer knows that there’s nothing he can hide from Emily, so there’s no use in trying to pretend he’s alright when she can take one look at him and know that nothing is right.

“You guys have fun, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. I plan on visiting my mom tomorrow and mornings are usually better for her,” Spencer says, slinging his go bag around his shoulders and making the trek back to the security to check out.

He walks slowly, enjoying the sound of the crickets chirping as he trudges along. Spencer tries not to think about the man, Richard, who was almost locked up for a crime that he didn’t commit. Spencer is pretty sure that being the person to throw an innocent man in jail is worse than being the innocent man in jail.

Spencer’s phone buzzes loudly, disturbing the silence of his walk. He looks at the phone to see a couple of messages from Y/N. Spencer slides open the lock to his phone and hits the button to read her messages.

Y/N: Spencer...that has a nice ring to it. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Your big three, but as books. Go! 🌞🌙⬆️

Furrowing his brow, Spencer reads the message over again. He does not have a clue what “big three” means, but it seems like some sort of pop culture thing that he’s not skilled in. He wants to text Garcia for a translation, but he’s also not too keen on telling her how he came across Y/N’s number.

Y/N: I assume you’re working, but I'm kind of impatient so I’ll give you mine 🙃 I’m a Little Women sun, an Emma moon, and an In Cold Blood rising.

Y/N: Oh no….I hope my astrology didn’t turn you off

Y/N: Not that I was trying to turn you on

Y/N: omg Y/N please shut the fuck up

Astrology? Spencer isn’t one to judge, but he’s a scientist first and foremost. The idea that there is something written about him in the stars seems like ludicrous. He decided to ignore the other messages, particularly the ones with a little more than slight innuendo.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m sorry I just got out of work. As for my big three, I’m not sure about astrology. I don’t particularly believe in pseudoscience. But those are good choices. In Cold Blood is an excellent choice. Capote spent years researching the case. In fact his prose and technique inspired the entire “Nonfiction novel” genre. The world of journalism and true crime would not be where it is without Capote’s work.

Y/N: Oh my god. You are a total nerd. 🙀

That stops Spencer right in his tracks. He’s only a couple of yards away from the Volvo at this point, but somehow it feels a million miles away. You are a total nerd. The words replay in his mind as the small gray bubbles pop up again. Spencer can feel his heart constrict at Y/N’s words. It’s ridiculous, he’s nearly 34 and is getting upset that a stranger called him a nerd. Spencer unlocks his car and tosses his go bag, phone included onto the passenger seat.

After a couple of minutes his phone buzzes again. He’s half tempted to answer it, but the way his heart seems to beat faster tells him to ignore it.

Y/N: I fucking love it and I think you’ll love this too

Spencer’s entire demeanor changes as he reads the message. He’s always had difficulties reading emotion in writing, especially when he can’t analyze the handwriting. Sometimes, it’s even harder to judge inflection during conversations. Maybe that is why Spencer has spent all this time studying people, studying the way that their minds work. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, another message pops up.

Y/N: Meet Capote and Second Cat

Y/N: They are the loves of my life

Spencer: They are very...distinguished looking. Capote is an excellent name choice then. Second Cat is also quite catchy.

Spencer hesitates before sending the message, he notices that Y/N uses what Garcia calls “emojis” quite frequently. He assumes that it’s some sort of “texting lingo” that expresses emotion in small graphics. Great, he thinks. He already has a difficult time deciphering Y/N’s cryptic wording and now he’s got to analyze these emojis.

Maybe he should profile her. He re-reads the message and settles on a “😄” because he figures that he can’t go wrong with offering Y/N a smile.

Spencer: I don’t have a cat, but when I was a kid I always wanted one, they’re quite good companions for those that live several different kinds of lifestyles. From active to sedentary, they are adaptable and independent. Honestly they are the perfect pet.

Y/N: Is this your way of telling you’re a crazy cat man? 😜 🙀

Spencer, still sitting in his car that’s parked in the parking lot, chuckles at Y/N’s response to his message. Maybe it’s just easier to ignore his rambling when it’s done through 1s and 0s and there isn’t a face to the words.

Spencer: I’m actually more of a fish guy

Y/N: Like a “I-like-to-go-fishing-and-post-picture-of-myself-kissing-my-catch-on-Tinder” kind of fish guy or...I can’t think of any other kind of fish men

Spencer, not totally understanding the obvious joke that Y/N is trying to make, settles on something that he hasn’t really ever tried: being himself.

Spencer: Not quite sure what a Tinder is, but I think fishing is terrifying and kissing a fish is something out of nightmares. But his name is Leo

Y/N: DiCaprio?

Spencer: Uhh, Tolstoy

Y/N: Good😉 ⚔️🕊️ 🇷🇺

Spencer glances at his clock on the control panel, it tells him that he’s been messaging with Y/N back and forth for nearly 22 minutes. He nearly forgot how tired he was.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m so sorry but, I just got to my car to drive home from work. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about the book club, maybe we can figure out some things.

Y/N: OMG Spencer!! you should have told me. I’ve been talking ur ear off. sleep well and yes please tomorrow we can talk about the book club

Y/N: Good night, Book Buddy 😴

Spencer wants to respond to Y/N, but he doesn’t know what to say. She seems to text so easily, and judging by that, she must be around Spencer’s age or a little bit younger. Besides JJ and Penelope, Spencer has never had a friend close to his age. It’s a strange new territory for him and he’s walking in head first into No Man’s Land.

He starts his Volvo, the check engine still lights but, reminding him once again to go get it fixed. Driving away from the parking lot, Spencer hands over his ID to Gina, the security guard. She checks his ID and gives him a tired smile. Spencer, as he drives home to his apartment, thinking about what books he and Y/N will read together. He wonders what kind of books are her favorite, if they have any authors that they can obsess over together, or if what she thinks a poet’s prose is.

The summer air rushing in through the window is nowhere as warm and as comforting as thought of Spencer finally having a friend that isn’t able to read the scars of his past in the text bubbles that pop up on her screen.

--

When Spencer opens his eyes for the first time that morning, he isn’t sure where he is. Sometimes, before he can stop his thoughts from travelling there, Spencer thinks he’s still in jail. He hates the feeling of terror that rushes over him but he hates the idea of being vulnerable a little bit more. But the softness of his pillows and the coolness of his cotton sheets remind him that he’s not sleeping on a hard cot with only a layer of fabric over his body. The light streams in through the half closed blinds, and Spencer judges by how brightly the sun shines in, it must be around 9:45 am.

He supposes that he prefers the way the sun’s rays paint horizontal bars across his face more than the vertical bars that cast gray shadows over his cell at Milburn Penitentiary.

It’s a day off from work, so Spencer didn’t set an alarm, instead allowing his mind and his body to catch up on some much needed rest. The nightmares have been getting better, but his dreams are still haunted by the way that he hardly recognizes himself anymore. Deciding that it will be a day spent in pajamas, Spencer goes to his bookshelf in his bedroom to pick out a couple of novels to read while he drinks his morning coffee and defrosts some of Luke’s strawberry pastries.

Before heading out of his room, Spencer stops himself in the doorway. He replays the events of last night. He declined to go out with the rest of the team, while he walked to his car he thought about the crickets telling the temperature, and he read over Y/N’s messages.

Y/N.

He promised he’d text her back in the morning about their book club. Last night, she didn’t seem to mind Spencer’s long messages and awkward phrasing. He still doesn’t really know how this Book Buddy thing would work, but since he found Y/N’s number on the flyer, he can only assume that she knows what to do. He leaps on his bed, landing with thud on his belly, to grab his phone that charges on his nightstand.

Spencer settles at his kitchen table, a cup of steaming hot Dark Roast coffee in a Captain Spock mug in one hand and, surprisingly, his phone in the other. He scrolls through the messages from last night, Y/N’s cat and emojis tempt a smile to Spencer’s face.

Not entirely sure how to start the conversation again, Spencer looks around for inspiration until his eyes land on a certain fish tank in the corner of his apartment. He snaps a quick picture of Leo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: Good Morning from Leo & Spencer

Spencer sets down his phone after a moment when he realizes that Y/N is probably not going to answer him back in a couple of seconds. He takes out a strawberry pastry from his freezer and puts it into the toaster oven on a non-stick baking sheet. His thumbs run across the texture of the book he started on the plane ride after his and Luke’s ill fated poker game. It's a thin book of collected essays on the meaning of life. Camus, to Spencer, is a little pessimistic with his droning on about the meaninglessness of life. Though Spence has seen the absolute worst that humanity has to offer, he still has to believe that there’s a deeper meaning behind it all.

His toaster oven rings, altering him so that his toasted strawberry pastry is cooked. He plates his breakfast and pours himself another cup of coffee- he’ll need it to get through Camus’s section on Absurdism this early in the morning. But the flash of Spencer’s phone screen sends him reaching for his phone. Y/N replied to his message.

Y/N: hi leo!!!

Y/N: and you too Spencer :) Did you get a good night’s sleep. You got back late it seems.

Spencer, taking a bite of the strawberry pastry, ignores the burning sensation in his mouth. He types out a response to Y/N as he washes down the bite with a swing of coffee.

Spencer: I did, thank you. Can you tell me a little bit more about this book buddy thing. From what I gathered from the flyer it’s like a little book club of our own and we meet at the bookstore?

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to respond. The little gray dots pop up almost immediately after Spencer’s message is delivered.

Y/N: That’s about right! Is it okay if I call you? Kinda easier to talk that way 🤷‍♀️

Spencer reads over the message a couple of times. He doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and only does it out of necessity. He’s pretty sure that his voice is grating and his vocal fry is quite irritating. Yet, he finds himself replying “yes” to Y/N. Soon enough, his phone buzzes in his hand and Spencer has to remind himself how to pick up a call.

“Spencer? Um, this is Spencer Reid, right?” the voice says. It’s a woman’s voice and he can only assume that it’s Y/N, considering it is her phone number calling him.

“Y/N, uh hi. This is Dr. Spencer- I mean this is Spencer,” he says, nearly forgetting that Y/N doesn’t know him as Dr. Reid, but as just Spencer. It’s been a long time since someone has known him as Spencer.

“Oh great! It’s wonderful to finally have a voice to your name. So about these buddy reads. You seem to have a good grasp of what they are,” Y/N’s voice trails off a little bit at the end and Spencer finds it natural to fill in the silence.

“Yes, the flyer was quite informative. But I was wondering, do we read the same books or do we read different books?” Spencer asks, trying to restrain himself from scaring Y/N off. But something about her made him think that she didn’t scare easily.

Y/N chuckles lightly in the speaker of her phone, “that’s a good question, uh, I was actually going to ask you what you would rather. We can read the same books, or if it’s okay with you we can choose what the other would read for that week,”

“Oh really?” Spencer says, very much aware how his voice rises a couple of octaves. He can’t trust himself to hold back on rambling over the phone Y/N, so he resorts to using his strained, brittle voice that’s full of hesitation and restraint.

“That’s the plan, so whatcha thinking, Spencer,” Y/N says playfully, like she can sense that phone conversations maybe not make him feel at ease. There’s something so natural and silvery about her voice; it reminds Spencer of an audiobook reader. While he’s not too keen on audiobooks, he’s sure that he’d listen to anything she reads or has to say.

“Um, I think it sounds interesting to pick out books for each other. I tend to gravitate towards more technical books or even books that aren’t in English so, uh, I think it would be interesting to get out of my comfort zone,” Spencer says, cringing internally at using the word “interesting” twice in a couple of sentences.

“Well, as long as you don’t pick out something in physics or anything by Ayn Rand then I’d say we’re good,” Y/N says. Spencer thinks it’s a joke, but he’s not too sure how to respond.

“Will you still be my Book Buddy if I read 1 out of 2 of those?” Spencer asks, hoping she’d get that he is trying to continue the joke.

“Oh no Spencer please don’t tell me you’re an Ayn Rand fanboy,” she says, and by the airy way she laughs, Spencer ventures to guess his joke landed successfully.

“So,” Spencer starts, he never has made plans with people outside of his team, and on top of that, there’s something about Y/N’s quickness that makes him a little nervous to meet her.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I? Please Spencer, if you’re going to be my Book Buddy, you’re going to have to get used to me talking a lot, especially you pick out good books, which, I already have a feeling you’re going to be favorite Book Buddy,”

For once in his life, Spencer doesn’t really know how to respond. He lets out something in between a strangled laughter and a noncommittal chuckle.

“So,” Y/N says, mirroring Spencer’s earlier words, “so are you free tonight, I can meet you at the bookstore..”

Y/N’s voice trails off and Spencer leaps to finish her sentences. It doesn’t feel like his interjecting or interrupting, but like he’s snapping a puzzle piece together.

“Does 7 work?” “7 is great, Spencer. It’s a date,”

Those three little words send Spencer’s eyes flying wide open. He scrambles to come up with answer to louden the silence that falls, but he swears he can hear a string of quiet curses before Y/N manages to squeak out a small “goodbye,”

Y/N’s last words play back in Spencer’s ears. He scolds himself for being so weird and awkward that the very idea of going on a date with him would send Y/N in a tizzy. It’s not a date, because Spencer can’t think about it being a date. It’s not a date because of the looming photo above his mantle that freezes his future in the past. It’s not a date because of the nightmare of vertical bars that haunt his dreams

It’s not a date. It’s so not a date because Spencer would call Luke to come over to help him if it was.

“Hey Luke,” Spencer says, trying to control the nervous waves in his voice, “no man, I’m fine, it’s uh, easier if you just come over. I’m fine, really,”

Y/N: I really hope you're not an Ayn Rand fanboy 😉

It’s so not a date.

--THANK YOU FOR READING--

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Suptober Day 2: No Vacancy

“Is there a festival in town or something?” Dean groaned, gripping his hands on Baby’s wheel like he could wish an empty motel to spring up into existence. He’d been looking forward to a real bed after eight hours driving Baby across the country but the flashing red “No Vacancy” sign at the Barely There Inn was the fourth one they’d seen in the last half hour. 

Honestly, he was getting too old for this.

Cas humphed next to him, quietly munching on a homemade granola bar Dean had made from the pumpkins and apples in Cas’s garden. He’d been quiet for most of the drive, unless he was answering a question Dean tossed his way when Zep wasn’t enough to fill the silence. 

Dean could practically hear Sam’s voice in his head. You have to talk to him and get your head out of your ass, Dean! You can’t get to where you want to be with him without opening up a little! Dean was trying, alright? Talking was hard when it meant being vulnerable, especially when your companion was the guy you were in love with but in denial about. But Cas had seemed willing enough to go on this case with Dean, since Sam was holding down the phones at the bunker for some of the younger hunters. Cas had even made a comment that it’d be nice for them to get out of town together for a bit.

Dean drove a little further down the highway, spotting another sign just ahead. 

“KOA?” Cas read out loud as they passed the sign. “What’s KOA?” 

Dean felt his heart give a twinge. He hadn’t ever stayed at a KOA, not in all of his and Sam’s treks across the country. Not since… he shook his head once to himself.

“Kampgrounds of America,” Dean muttered. He gripped Baby’s steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. 

“Dean,” Cas turned in his seat, looking back at the sign behind them. “We can camp. It’s not a motel bed, but…”

“No way, Cas,” Dean said, his voice rougher than he meant, rougher than he’d usually be. “No camping.” 

“Dean, we don’t have any other options,” Cas said, annoyingly patient. “And it’s more comfortable than sleeping in the car.” 

“Don’t…” Dean started but Cas cut him off. 

“I’m not mocking your car, Dean,” Cas said with a placating hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m being practical. And isn’t camping something humans do for fun? We should try it.” Cas almost sounded excited.

“What’s fun about getting your balls frozen off?” Dean grunted. He could practically feel Cas roll his eyes at him. “We don’t even have a tent.” 

“I’ll build us a shelter,” Cas said as if it was the easiest thing in the world. “Turn the car around.” 

Dean paused just for a moment, debating about how far he wanted to push it. But Cas had a point. He glanced sideways at Cas and met Cas’s eyes. Damn. He couldn’t say no to his angel no matter how hard he tried. 

Considering Cas wasn’t even his, Dean didn’t know what that made him. Whipped? A sucker? Hopeless? He was sure Sam would use all those terms to describe Dean’s feelings for Cas.

With a dramatic sigh, Dean turned Baby around and drove back to the KOA. It was just after sunset, the barest tint of sunlight just disappearing beneath the trees. 

Dean pulled up to the booth at the entrance, his stomach in knots. He hadn’t been camping since he was five. Hell, he didn’t even have a sleeping bag. But Cas was right. It was worth a shot. 

Dean rolled down the window and was greeted by an unnervingly peppy teenager dressed in a bright yellow shirt, with KOA in red lettering on the shoulder. She grinned at them like it was her purpose in life.

“Hi, welcome! Do you have a reservation?” She spoke in such a way that all her words blended together due to enthusiasm. 

“Uh…” Dean paused. He hadn’t actually thought that part through. How charming did he need to be? Did he need to flirt his way to a campsite? Cas leaned over him, his shoulder tucking into Dean’s chest. 

“Do you have any openings?” Cas asked, suddenly turning into the smooth one in this operation. Dean swallowed, trying not to do anything awkward, like bury his nose in Cas’s neck or something.

The young woman smiled and nodded. “We’re pretty packed tonight, but you guys are lucky. We have one tent site left. How many nights are you wanting to stay?” 

“Just tonight,” Dean grunted, disconcerted by Cas’s… calmness in this whole thing. How was Cas being better at being a human than Dean? 

“That’ll be thirty dollars then,” Peppy-Teen said. Dean passed over the cash and took the map she handed him. 

“Bathrooms are by this building,” she said, circling a spot on the map with a red pen. Cas and Dean watched as she drew a line from the circle to another spot on the map. “This is your campsite.” 

She drew another line from the campsite to what was presumably their current location at the entrance. “Just follow the road to campsite 49. You can’t miss it.” 

“Thank you very much,” Cas said with one of his wide grins, still leaning into Dean like this was something they did every day. Camping, road tripping, just the two of them. 

Dean nodded, smiled - or was it a grimace? - and they bid Peppy-Teen goodnight. Cas pulled away, sitting back in the passenger seat and Dean swallowed down the desire to pull Cas back into his chest. 

Dean drove Baby forward, following the signs, past a playground, the entrance to a lake, what looked like a cafeteria of some sort, a group having a huge bonfire, and finally, three identical mobile homes in a row, to get to site #49. Dean carefully pulled Baby into the parking spot and turned off the motor.

They sat for a moment in perfect silence, the faint singing of some camping song Dean had known a long time ago filtering through the windows. 

“Dean,” Cas said. “Are we going to get out of the car?” 

Dean started, nodded, and opened the door, climbing out of the car. The campsite itself was nice. There was a picnic table, a fire pit, and even an electricity hookup by the parking spot. Not too bad, Dean thought to himself. If they even had camping gear. Or actually went camping. 

It took Dean a moment to realize that Cas was bustling around the campsite gathering sticks and twigs like he was burrowing in for winter. Or planning a massive bonfire of their own. 

“Cas, what’re you doing?” Dean asked, still frozen by the driver’s door. 

“We’ll build an A-frame,” Cas said, passing a bundle of sticks to Dean. “There’s that tarp in the trunk and I think Sam tucked a safety blanket in the glovebox. We’ll use those as insulation and for something to sleep on. With a small fire at the entrance, we should be nice and warm.” 

“Did you take a survival class or something?” Dean asked, still standing still. Maybe it was shock preventing his feet from moving and not the battle of distinct, sentimental emotions from when he was five piling onto his heart after too long of being ignored. 

Cas nodded vaguely. “Online.” 

“Huh,” Dean said. Cas took classes online? What else did Dean not know… first the garden, now online classes? 

Cas bustled about a little longer, piling up sticks and twigs and moss at Dean’s feet like a pyre. Finally, he put the last bundle down on the ground and stood with his hands on his hips, looking pleased with himself. 

“So,” Dean said, clearing his throat, “how does all this become a tent?” 

Cas grinned good-naturedly at Dean. “I’ll show you.”

And that was how Dean learned to build an emergency shelter. Which, honestly, was something he should have earned from his dad considering he grew up on the road. Why hadn’t they ever camped? It had been something his parents loved. 

Cas walked Dean through setting up the A-frame, then draping piles of sticks, twigs, leaves and moss over it to essentially form a natural tent. There was just enough room for the two of them to sleep side by side. 

They built the A-frame close to the fire pit. Dean ran back to Baby’s trunk to grab lighting fluid and matches, piling up wood in the fire pit with no finesse. A hand on his arm stopped him from pouring the whole bottle of lighting fluid on the pile. 

“Actually,” Cas said, his eyes sparkling, “I want to try lighting a fire with just the matches.” 

He looked so giddy and excited, Dean just handed him the matches. 

It took several tries and a lot of twigs, but eventually, they had a comfortable fire. They sat side by side on a log, munching on apple muffins Dean had made with apples from Cas’s garden. Dean felt Cas’s heat all along his side and whenever their shoulders brushed, Dean fought the urge to just lean into Cas without reservation. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said into the silence. “For humoring me.” 

Dean shrugged and this time their shoulders stayed touching. “It’s no problem, Cas.” 

And it wasn’t, not really. Sitting out by a fire, watching the stars, getting to just be, with Cas, for once. Maybe it wasn’t as hard as Dean thought. Maybe getting to where he wanted to be with Cas, with them together, didn’t have to be as insurmountable or as impossible as he feared. Sam did tell him to just talk to Cas, to just be himself and let some of his walls down.

Dean swallowed. He could try. 

“I…” Dean started, twisting fingers together, “I haven’t been camping since my mom was alive. I forgot how nice it can be.” 

Cas didn’t reply right away. Dean could feel Cas looking at him, digesting his statement and all it meant. Cas leaned a bit more into Dean’s shoulder and carefully rested a hand on Dean’s knee. A knot undid itself in Dean’s heart. 

“It is,” Cas said, his voice warming Dean down to his toes. “It’s very nice indeed.”

Read the whole fic as I post chapters throughout Suptober on AO3! Link in comments. :)

[shoelace-and-friends]

What I know about Star Trek as someone who has never consumed a single piece of Star Trek media in their life

Uhhh the main guy is the Captain and his name is either Jim or James Kirk. I don’t know which one it is. Fuck you. 

Captain Kirk normally wears a yellow shirt but I think he’s like really bad at keeping it on apparently? 

And also he is like a huge lady’s man who kisses every woman 

Captain Kirk is played by William Shatner

And the big popular character that everyone loves is Spock. Spock is a Vulcan. 

Vulcans are like space elves who are like, 95% smart and 5% emotions

Spock has feelings but they are like, ...super secret  

And I guess Vulcans have green blood? Idk I’ve seen fanart on my dash where Spock seems to blush green 

Vulcans are also not very into physical affection and I think holding hands to them is like....the same as making out or fucking 

Spock....gay? Gay for Jim/James/whatever his name is? 

Spock was played by Leonard Nimoy 

Spock and Captain Kirk take turns almost dying and being sad for each other 

Levar Burton from Reading Rainbow is there, and he has really cool sunglasses! His name is....I think Geordi? That’s like all I know about the character.

There’s a robot guy named Data and people really like him a lot

Do people ship Geordi and Data? I feel like they might. I don’t know.

George Takei plays a character named Sulu, who I think is also Japanese? Sulu likes guns I think? I really don’t know much about him but I think I saw a post mentioning that once 

There’s also a guy named Scotty who I think is from Scotland. Very original.  He beams people up. I don’t know if they mean like...a tractor beam??? Maybe????

And there’s a Russian guy named Chekov 

I’m honestly surprised that these countries still exist this far into the future ngl. Like...you’re telling me that in the far future that Geography hardly changed? 

There’s another character named Uhura and she and Captain Kirk had like, the very first scripted interracial kiss on television and it was like, a really really big deal in TV history 

Star Trek in general I heard was very progressive for the time period? But ironically a lot of conservative dudes are into it. I think Star Trek and Star Wars are both similar in that a lot of men in their fandoms seem to have completely missed the point 

Uhhh there’s another captain! His name is Picard I think, and he’s played by Sir Patrick Stewart, who is also the poop emoji from the emoji movie. Hs character is also a meme  

There is a guy named Bones who I know absolutely nothing about 

Oh and ummm...I think the color shirts that the characters wear signify their roles on the ship. I don’t know what the colors designate but I’m pretty sure that people in red shirts die the most often 

There’s a species of aliens in the show called Klingons who kind of collectively look like Lordi from Eurovision 

The show made like, its own actual constructed language for Klingons to speak. It’s like a real language that people can actually learn and honestly....that’s pretty cool? That’s an impressive level of commitment to the lore 

Um, getting into the show’s actual plot, it takes place far far into the future, like at least a thousand years ahead? And in the future like, war doesn’t exist anymore and neither does like....disease or bigotry and all the bad things 

Honestly though I’m not really sure what the conflicts the characters solve are in that case? I have no idea why they are in space or why they are on the ship, or how all the people with the red shirts end up dying 

Ummm there are like, these little puffball things called tribbles and there are just too many of them. They flooded the entire ship. No idea what they are. Are they like, some kind of space animal? Do they multiply? Did they fuck a lot? 

There was a mariachi band on their ship once. That was just a thing that happened. 

Uhhh they do this thing with their hands. You know the thing. I tried to do it once and it’s hard and it just made my fingers hurt. 

Their catchphrase is “live long and prosper”. Not sure of the significance

I know people are just going to tell me to watch the show because it’s good or whatever....but I’m gonna be honest with you and just say that it’s so long and I don’t have the level of commitment or motivation, or the time to do that. 

[makeste]

Do you think the darker hair color of the 2nd ofa user is enough evidence to nerf the bak-u-go theory? I mean, Deku's hair color is whiter in the vestiges world why wouldn't katuski's hair be darker over there?

for me, it’s not going to be nerfed until this character finally turns around and shows his face, and we see that it isn’t Bakugou. until that happens, there is just too much going on here for me to ignore.

and I mean look, I’ve already got this thing all ready to go for next week lol.

it probably would be less embarrassing for me in the long run to just be all “yeah you guys are right, it definitely isn’t him”, especially since this is a theory that people have literally unfollowed me for entertaining in the past. and especially since I’ve swung and missed big time with Bakugou theories before (see: him still having his quirk, lol). this is a theory that is extraordinarily unpopular and makes absolutely no sense -- even I admit it makes no sense. so I’d save a lot of face by just being all “yeah, not going to happen.”

but in the interests of choosing honesty over wanting to save face, the truth is that my gut says it’s him. like, let’s just put aside the logistics of it for just one moment. disregard the why would it be him, how could it be him part of it for just one sec, and just look at him.

everything about this person just screams Bakugou to me, and has from the moment I first went back to take a closer look in chapter 194. like, if it were any other context other than him being a shadowy ghost from the past chilling in Deku’s subconscious, I don’t think there would even be a debate. the Bakugou vibes are off the fucking charts here. so much so that people are already looking for alternative explanations such as the ancestor theory, because even the people who are vehemently against bak-u-go can’t completely disregard the resemblance. it is uncanny, and it is absolutely intentional, whatever that intent might actually be.

and the fact that he still hasn’t turned around! and hasn’t talked yet! and the fact that his very identity has been built up into a cliffhanger. if it truly is someone we don’t know, then the chapter should have ended on the reveal. their faces being shown at last, and then the “who are these last two mysterious users and what is their story?” cliffhanger, since they’re still mysterious to us even with their faces known. but the fact that the cliffhanger is instead “who are they” without showing their faces indicates to me that them turning around will answer that “who are they” question at least in part. in other words, we know them. or at least one of them.

and again, I’m not saying it makes sense. or that there’s no other possible explanation. but let’s just briefly address that last part before I end this post. the phrase I’ve been seeing all over the fandom for these past few weeks is, “there are any number of reasons.” as in, “there are any number of reasons why they could be turned around”, “there are any number of reasons why he could have gauntlets”, etc. and yes, of course there are! and if it were just one thing, I would totally agree that there’s probably a simpler explanation than “it must be Bakugou.”

but it’s not just one thing. it’s a whole host of things. and this for me is where any other explanation ceases to be simple.

“there are any number of reasons why he could have the exact same spiky-yet-fluffy hair” “there are any number of reasons why he could be hiding his face” “there are any number of reasons why he could have the exact same build” “there are any number of reasons why he could have the exact same posture” “there are any number of reasons why he could have a similar collar, baggy pants, and boots” “there are any number of reasons why he could be wearing bigass gauntlets” “there are any number of reasons Horikoshi could have for hiding his identity for multiple chapters, and then making it a cliffhanger”

all of these statements are completely true. but all of them together? that, to me, is pretty damn suspicious.

I’ll end this post with one of my favorite quotes from Star Trek DS9, because there’s nothing like ending an unpopular theory post with a pretentious quote, lol. “I believe in coincidences. coincidences happen every day. but I don’t trust coincidences.”

and I fucking don’t, lol. I don’t trust them one bit. this motherfucker is Bakugou to me until proven otherwise. which may be in about four days’ time. like I said, my clown wig is at the ready. but if it’s not him, Horikoshi, then I’ll admit, you sure got me good.