#first photo is so funny she’s just like I HAVE to serve face

[funnygirltthatbelle]

It is 2023 and somehow more behind the scenes photos from this shoot are still being posted??????

SOURCE

[alleiwentcrazy]

Now with a part two!

There’s a guy that comes to the cafe Eddie’s working at. Every other day, he comes to the counter, smiles at Eddie and gives him a post-it with “hi, an americano with two sugars please :)” written on it. He has a different color of post-it assigned for every day. Eddie smiles back and makes the americano, trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. 

Needless to say, the guy is insanely cute. He has swoopy chestnut hair, droopy, almost puppy-like eyes, and two moles on his neck that make him look like he’s been bitten by a vampire. Eddie’s not sure if he finds it more adorable or sexy; either way, he’s definitely developed a crush. And now, after months of trying to gather up his courage to say hi, after months of pining and staring from afar... He’s still nowhere near ready to talk to him. And Chrissy’s not letting him live it down. 

“You’re insufferable,” she whispers to him frantically when the guy comes through the door on the first Monday of December. “Do something more than smile dumbly or I’ll fire you.”

“You can’t fire me,” Eddie hisses back as he tries to dust pastry crumbs off of his shirt. 

“I’m the manager. I can do whatever I want,” she chirps back and goes on to cleaning the machines that don’t need to be cleaned, because Eddie did that twenty minutes ago. 

The guy comes to the counter. There are snowflakes in his hair, big and soft. Eddie thinks that they compliment his eyes—then he realizes that it’s a weird thing to notice about a stranger. 

The stranger smiles. Eddie smiles back. Today’s post-it is light purple.

Eddie makes the americano. It’s muscle memory at this point, he’s not even thinking about what he’s doing until he has to force a lid onto the cup and serve it to his customer. Hell, whatever. He grabs a sharpie and bends down to drabble something on the cup, trying not to spill the coffee. He manages to draw an ugly looking snake that was supposed to be a dragon, cringes, writes “Have a nice day!” underneath it and prays that it isn’t too weird.

Of course it is. But, miraculously, the guy looks at it, huffs a tiny laugh and smiles right at Eddie and – yeah, whatever, curse him – the whole room lights up. Yes, it’s sappy. Sue him. He could be sappy for this guy—if the guy wanted it.

He takes his coffee and leaves, but before he crosses the threshold, he turns back and waves at Eddie, using only three fingers. It’s a small wave, but a wave nonetheless, so Eddie sends him his best grin and waves back.

When he’s finally out, Eddie bends over the counter and groans. Chrissy pats him between the shoulderblades, mocking sympathy. “You’re on probation,” she whispers. Eddie groans once again. This is hell.

***

He has to call in sick on Wednesday. Now that he’s thinking about it, he kind of knew that the mayo smelled funny and it wasn’t good anymore. But he’s a broke college student and he had a choice: stale bread with mayo and a slice of tomato, or just stale bread with a slice of tomato. These weren’t even real choices. It was suffering or suffering.

Apparently, he’d chosen double suffering, and he had a whole night of hurling to prove it. Good thing he doesn’t have to send Chrissy any photos of what he had to deal with – when he calls, she cuts him off with “Just take my afternoon shift tomorrow and we’re even. You’ll miss out on your cutie, it’s a punishment in and of itself,” and goes on with her day.

Eddie’s so grateful for Chrissy. He wouldn’t get anywhere without her. 

***

Eddie doesn’t expect his guy to come on Thursday, it isn’t his regular schedule, so he’s in for a surprise when his morning shift ends and turns into Chrissy’s afternoon shift, and then, some time later, his guy comes in—and he’s not alone.

He’s with a girl. With a pretty, pretty girl, who has beautifully curly brown hair, inquisitive eyes and kind but determined expression on her face. There’s something quite unique about her; Eddie thinks, briefly, that she looks like she’s from another era. Like if they were living in the 80s, she would have a perm, wear bold lipstick and have a whole wall of degrees and certificates in her office. She seems to be destined for great things. She’s a badass.

Eddie’s nothing like her. He tries to swallow down the jealousy as they near the counter. His – his? – guy looks surprised, but smiles either way, his eyes lighting up in a matter of seconds.

“Hi,” the girl says. Her own smile is so nice and warm Eddie can’t stay mopey for too long. “I’ll have a latte with two shots of espresso, and…”

She turns to the guy beside her, but Eddie doesn’t have to know the answer. “An americano with two sugars. On it.”

Their eyes lock for a second. The guy seems a bit shy, but he’s still smiling. Eddie counts that as a win. But he’s still quick with their coffees. He can sense the staring contest they’re having even while he has his back turned to them. He kinda wants them gone, but they didn’t ask for to go, so he just tries to stay calm. Focused. Sharp.

Fortunately, he doesn’t spill anything. They get their order and sit in a corner. It doesn’t look like a date, they pull out books and notes, scribble and sign from time to time. The girl clearly knows more than just the basics of ASL, unlike Eddie. Since the guy started showing up, he’s been trying to learn more about it, but now he makes a mental note to enroll on a course. It’s time to commit – to what, exactly, he’s not sure. But he’s gonna make it happen.

Hours pass, but they stay in the same position. Eddie steals a glance every now and then, trying not to let his jealousy get to the surface again, but it’s hard. The guy is cute, the girl is smart and beautiful. He decides to call Chrissy on his way home – if he has to pine, she’ll suffer with him.

The end of his shift is nearing when he hears a giggle from the godforsaken corner. He looks up from the cups he’s been rearranging and sees that it’s his guy’s girl who’s laughing. She’s laughing at yet another girl, who’s standing outside and drawing hearts on the dirty window. She has a goofy grin on her face, one that makes her eyes and her prominent cheekbones pop even more, and it’s the same grin that the girl inside is wearing at the moment.

Now, Eddie doesn’t know a lot about love, but he definitely recognizes heart eyes when he sees them. He smiles to himself – don’t judge a book by its cover, huh?

His guy looks exasperated about being completely ignored, so he taps the glass a few times. The girl outside looks at him, shocked, like she’s only just seen him now, sticks out her tongue at him, and goes back to blowing kisses at her girlfriend. The guy looks truly wounded. Eddie snorts; the dynamic here is immaculate.

In the meantime, the not-his-guy's girl has gathered her things and prepared to leave. She kisses his cheek on her way out, but the guy stays put, bending over his papers again. Eddie thinks it’s quite interesting. Then, he makes a plan.

When he’s done with work, his guy is still there. Which is perfect. Eddie fixes his hair one last time, trying to gauge whether his outfit is metal enough (it is) for the occasion, and grabs the americano with two sugars he’s made.

It’s alright. Everything’s alright.

His wildly beating heart isn’t so sure about that.

When he gets to his guy’s table, he sets the piece of paper on it first. “Looks like you’re swamped – it’s on the house,” it says. The guy looks up, surprised, his mouth opened in a tiny oh. His eyes go wide for a moment and then he smiles. Something warm settles inside Eddie’s chest.

The guy picks up a pen and writes “Thank you!!!” on Eddie’s piece of paper, but before giving it back, he changes his mind. “I’m Steve,” he scribbles, and then gives it back with a flash of smile.

He smiles a lot. It’s an amazing sight.

“Hello, Steve. I’m Eddie. Nice to meet you,” Eddie replies. “What are you working on?” he adds after a second, because he’s feeling bold and he really doesn’t want to go yet.

The guy – Steve – sighs. He makes some room on the loveseat he’s occupying and pushes his books to the middle. Eddie takes it as a cue to sit down. Their knees bump, Eddie gets goosebumps, but he doesn’t move away. Neither does Steve.

“I’ve got an assignment on modern fantasy and its mythological origins, but I’m not as nerdy as my friends so I’m struggling a bit. Nance helped, but she’s not an expert either and my other nerdy friends went for a trip. Maybe you have any experience?”

Eddie’s eyes open wide and he bounces with excitement, nodding his head along the way. “YES,” he writes, all caps, and Steve huffs another laugh. They look at each other then, Eddie all hyped and ready, Steve—soft? There’s no other way to describe it. His gaze is gentle, almost caring. Eddie can feel his cheeks warm up.

His phone buzzes aggressively in his pocket. He checks it – it’s Chrissy. She’s got her period and she’s out of tampons.

“Shit,” he mumbles. Steve bumps their shoulders.

“What’s up?” he asks.

Eddie picks up the pen. “Tiny emergency, I’m sorry. Tomorrow?”

He knows that his hopeful stare must seem desperate, but Steve reads his reply, looks up and smiles, nodding. Eddie wants to scream victory, but he only nods back and gets up instead. When he’s about to turn and leave, he feels fingers wrap around his hand, delicate but firm. Slowly, Steve opens up his hand and writes something on it.

It’s a phone number. “In case you get sick again :)”

Eddie can’t hold back his dopey smile any longer. When he looks at Steve, the corners of his lips quirk up too. He’s lovely.

Eddie can’t wait for tomorrow.

[rhondafromhr]

Some really unserious Solomon Lauter headcanons for your consideration, because I think we should get to woobify that terrible, terrible man just a little bit. As a treat.

-He really hates technology beyond basic email and texting—he thinks people are too reliant on it and it rots your brain, so he never bothered to learn how to use it. Idk I just think it’s funny if he can figure out how to summon malicious eldritch beings and strike a deal with them but can’t figure out how to place an order on Ubereats.

-Despite this, Miss Tessburger forced him to get a Twitter account for publicity reasons. I already mentioned this in a separate post, but his username is @therealsolomonlauter because someone (Steph) already took the username @solomonlauter and all they do is tweet about how dumb he is/ref

-The only exception to his hatred of tech is that used to quite enjoy photography and was pretty good at it. Could’ve been great and even done it professionally if he’d kept at it. But now he doesn’t bother because there’s nothing he cares about and there’s never a moment he wishes to capture for his own memory, only for PR that serves his campaign and he has people to do that for him.

-He’s a Bourbon snob and has a vast collection of super rare bottles that go for like $5000 on the secondary market because no one can find them anymore. He’d already started building it up even before he was mayor and tried to offer it during his deal with the Lords in Black just like Steph offered her phone. Nibbly was open to it (he’d be intrigued because people want them so bad and jump through so many hoops to get them), the other lords laughed in his face.

-the problematic dog used to be well liked in Hatchetfield and when it first bit him, people were taking the dog’s side, so he had his publicity team start a rumor that the dog chased Peanuts the squirrel and even photoshop photos of it. That’s when people turned on the dog and he became a controversial figure.

-Dan and Donna aren’t his friends, but they’re the closest thing he has. It’s obviously important to him to have a good relationship with the biggest reporters in Hatchetfield, so he goes out for drinks with them once every couple weeks. Dan always goes overboard and Solomon ends up having to basically carry him into his apartment. Donna parties hard, too, but she can hold her liquor comparatively well and always ends the night drunkenly showing Solomon hundreds of pictures of her cats dressed up in costumes.

[lovelylusts]

cloud nine // csb // 03 - d-day

summary: a group of friends form on nsfw twitter, and hijinks ensue. but when jisu starts catching feelings for soobin after filming with him, she has to grapple with her feelings while assuring her close bond with him doesn’t die.

general warnings: choi soobin x oc (moon jisu), smau, smut, fluff, angst, crack, the rest of txt is here too, aespa is also here just bc they serve, no relationships or events in this story reflect real ships and are just for the story, this is a pro sex-work story obv, lowkey probably gonna be filthy as hell considering it’s a sex work au, vague relationships lmao, she/they oc because i’m projecting, genderfluid yeonjun agenda, oc has a not-so-secret thing for soobin’s hands, they use fake names on twt :)

chapter warnings: this one is written!!, there’s a lot of warnings i’m sorry 😭, hard?dom!soobin (with mildly sub thoughts), sub!oc (with mildly dom thoughts), jisu uses she/they pronouns but i only used she while writing this to make reading more seamless, lots of mentions of sexting and nudes and sex work onlyfans and nsfwtwt as per the last chapters), grey sweatpants deserves its own warning tbh, she wears a collar and cat ears but there’s no petplay, filming, dry humping, biting + hickeys, brief mention of edging, obscene amounts of precum mentioned a few times, they’re both pretty needy and fucked out, some pretty messy deepthroating, very brief and vague comparison of jisu to succubus, consensual !! head-pushing, face-fucking, makeup kink?????? idk he likes seeing her makeup get more and more messed up, praise, the tearing of clothes, nipple play, pussy eating, fingering, squirting, protected!!!!! vaginal sex (cowgirl), lil bit of possessiveness but it’s just dirty talk, multiple orgasms (jisu), aftercare

word count: 4.5k

series masterlist // general masterlist

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the weekend came sooner than jisu had expected. she had spent the past couple of days making overpriced coffee for broke college students like herself, and her nights going over video ideas with soobin that led to steamy phone calls. it wasn’t the first time the two had had a sexual exchange - in the early days of being mutuals, as was common in their sphere, they had numerous sporadic conversations that veered into late nights filled with hasty texts riddled with misspellings from having to text with one hand as they aided in getting each other off.

it was always funny to jisu how her friendship with soobin started, and how their group of friends formed. they were all strangers from the internet who all, except for yizhuo, lived in seoul for various reasons, be it living the former idol trainee lifestyle or having been born and raised there. if anything, jisu had been more intimate with these friends than any partner in the past couple of years since she had created her twitter account. their group chats were filled with opinions on racy photos, exchanging stories of hookups, and shamelessly flirting with each other on a platonic level.

so why was jisu so nervous right now? this wasn’t the first collaboration she had ever done - her most popular post to date was a collection of photos of herself and minjeong posing lewdly together in skimpy witch costumes for halloween. was it his height? his versatile personality in sexual situations? jisu eventually landed on the idea that this would be the first time she filmed herself having sex for profit. the idea made her stomach flutter.

soobin lived a short drive away from her, and it was a drive she had been well acquainted with for a while now. beside her in the passenger seat sat a backpack that, during nine months of the year, was filled with textbooks and folders, but was now housing a collection of objects that her fans knew well - some pastel pink rope, a small black bullet vibrator, fluffy pink cat ears with a dainty collar to match, and so on.

neatly on top of these items was a folded set of lingerie. the previous night, while on facetime with soobin, she rummaged through her extensive collection of sexy garments, looking for sets she wouldn’t miss if something were to happen to them. it was a hard decision, but they eventually agreed on a simple lacey set that was quite see-through - there wasn’t really anything special about it, but it still hugged jisu’s body perfectly and made the blood rush out of soobin’s head down to his dick.

jisu felt her heart thumping harshly as she navigated her way around soobin’s apartment complex until she ultimately reached his place, her hand firm against the pale grey door as she knocked three times, the door opening only moments later to reveal her tall friend.

she was always shocked when she saw him in person because, in her words, “he’s basically a giraffe.” she couldn’t help but gaze over him, noticing that he was wearing those damn grey sweatpants that she recognized from late-night photo exchanges. oftentimes, he would be wearing those well-loved sweats when he sent her photos of him grabbing the outline of his hard member. this has to be on purpose, she thought to herself.

“hey, jisu,” he said sweetly as he pulled her in for a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist as she did the same. he couldn’t help but take in her signature scent, a soft mix of vanilla and lavender, and he held her close. maybe it had been due to the days of anticipation and planning, but he could already feels the butterflies in his stomach and the blood rushing down to his cock as he pulled away from her. “you ready?”

“let’s do this.”

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jisu thought that she’d be prepared for this. after so long of filming and taking photos of herself in compromising situations, she truly thought she was ready for this. but as she sat on soobin’s lap on his bed, grinding against him with her back arched away from the rolling camera and her covered chest against his bare one, she had never felt so vulnerable in her entire life - not when she opened her twitter account, not when she sexted a stranger in her dms for the first time, not when she first posted on onlyfans. it seemed that it was soobin’s large hands gripping her ass as he rocked her lace-covered clit against the monster in his precum-soaked boxers that made her feel more exposed than ever. it was her long dyed hair swept over one shoulder so the camera could capture soobin biting and sucking on the sensitive skin of her neck that adorned a fluffy baby pink choker. it was the fact that she was unsure if she had ever been this aroused in her entire life.

soobin himself wasn’t holding up too well either. it was as if there was no blood left in his brain because it had all flowed down to his other head. through all the grinding and grabbing and heavy breathing and sighing against each other, he felt that he could finish at any moment - he was so thankful that he had trained himself in the art of edging, because he was certain that he would have cum at least twice already had that not been the case.

“s-onyx,” she sighed out, being careful to only refer to him as his social media name. “i-i wanna suck your cock. please.” jisu couldn’t help that her request came out as a breathy whimper. she was familiar with his dick from photos and videos, but she had never seen it in person. the thought of finally being able to touch him made her mouth water.

soobin’s brain almost short-circuited upon hearing those words leave her perfect lips, the lips that he had seen wrapped around her own fingers, candies, and sex toys that made him think god, i would give anything to feel them around me. his head lolled back, his teeth digging into his bottom lip due to the combination of her dirty words and a particularly delicious roll of her hips against his own. “fuck, yes.” he almost let a please roll out as well, but with what little control he had over himself at the time, he knew he couldn’t. he couldn’t slip out of the dominant role after all the planning that went into this video of him ruining her.

jisu slid off of his lap, looking down and smirking when she saw the large wet patch that covered his boxers, then grabbed the secondary camera and handed it to soobin as she fixed her lingerie and hair while he turned on the camera, fumbling a little bit due to the arousal that made his brain feel foggy. the camera soon switched on as he held it at his chest, looking into the view finder to see the perfect image of jisu between his thighs, somehow looking so innocent yet so seductive, her nipples poking at the thin lace of the bra she chose for the shoot, and fluffy pink cat ears pinned to her lightly curled hair - he soon decided that no matter how incredible she looked at that moment, her appearance wouldn’t matter by the time he was done with her. his goal was smeared mascara, torn clothes, and cum covering her face and bleached bangs.

her intimidation was overshadowed only by her excitement as she began to tug down the waistband of his underwear, watching as he lightly lifted his hips up to help her, until they were off and discarded somewhere in his bedroom. she swore she could sense soobin’s heart racing as she eyed him up and down with dark eyes before wrapping her right hand around the base of his cock, her other hand resting on his hip bone. she looked up at him through her mascara-coated lashes - she made sure to forgo her usual waterproof mascara in favor of letting the black run down her face in streaks and splotches, maybe even some staining the light blue quilt below her. their eyes met, both of them smiling at each other briefly, before she stuck her tongue out to lick a stripe from right above her hand all the way to his leaking tip. upon her tongue reaching his head, she began to slowly glide her hand up and down his cock, the movements made easy by the obscene amounts of precum released only minutes earlier, while wrapping her lips around the head of his cock, moaning lightly as she took in the taste.

soobin threw his head back, an obscene moan leaving his mouth as his right hand instinctively reached ouch for her, his fingers lacing in the strands of her hair close to her scalp. he wasn’t going to force her movements, not yet at least, though it took everything in him to not do so. they had talked about it - face-fucking, that is - and while she was, to quote, “so down,” he wanted to take in the moment. he wanted to know what she would do while she was in charge of the moment.

jisu was a bit worried about how much of him she could fit in her mouth. she knew he was huge, but seeing it in person, having it in her hands, was way different. fuck it, she decided, and decided to surprise him by taking him as far as she could down his throat, which was considerably far for how long and thick he was, and a loud gag erupted from her throat as she tried to hold his member in place for a second, pulling away when she felt it was too much, an obscene amount of saliva following her lips. she took the moment to recover a bit, stroking her right hand along his length and spreading her saliva as she lightly twisted her wrist.

she reveled in the sight of soobin’s reactions as she did this, seeing that he was already struggling a bit. his cheeks were red, and despite him biting his lip, he was still making quite a bit of sound. she realized that he had never actually filmed with anyone before. she had gotten so used to him either doing fan-service content in the form of dirty talk audios or photos of his really pretty hands, or videos of him simply jerking off, but she had never actually seen or heard him with another person. for a second she tried to convince herself that it was the excitement of not always being able to expect what a partner may do that made him react in such a way, but, for the sake of her ego as well as the throbbing between her thighs, she told herself it was all because of herself. she shot him a small smirk before taking his length back into her mouth, this time bobbing her head, a soft gag leaving her throat each time she took him.

his grip on her hair tightened a bit as he struggled to breathe properly. he had had many sexual ventures in his time being a college student, but this was different. he swore that she was secretly a fuck, what are they called? those hot sex demons. suck something. suck. suck. holy fuck she’s sucking me off so good. he couldn’t think straight as he felt her hot, wet mouth around his painfully hard cock. he was still gripping the camera with one hand, though he no longer cared if the shot was clear or not, whether it was even pointing at her or if the had angle shifted while he struggled to not writhe under her touch. “fuck, baby, it feels so fucking good,” he groaned out.

jisu could feel her cheeks heat up ever-so-slightly at the praise. this entire situation was really bad for her ego. she pulled off of him with a deep, loud inhale, even more saliva pooling around her mouth and fist, as well as along soobin’s length. her momentary stop gave him the slightest moment of clarity, checking to make sure the camera was focused and looking at the view finder to see jisu with flakes of mascara beneath her eyes, the small bit of eyeliner smudged, and the cat ears lopsided from where he had grabbed the hair next to it. he also used this moment of clarity to go through the mental list he had made of things they thought about including - they hadn’t decided on anything concrete, deciding to go with the flow and do whatever felt natural. so jisu wasn’t exactly surprised that soobin had moved his fingers closer to the back of her head to push her down towards his cock. she eagerly let him take control, at first only lightly guiding her movements as she returned to her previous routine of taking him down her throat.

soobin was able to focus better this time around, the small pause having helped him compose himself. he was nearly convinced that this is what heaven felt like. her lips looked so perfect around him, her eyes looked so perfect as they met his with a devious innocence - which was something he was sure would never exist until he saw jisu peer up at him so sweetly while doing such sinful things to him. that’s when he decided to fully grab her hair and hold her head in place, instead pushing his hips up towards her face. the gagging sounds intensified and became shorter as he went at a pace quicker than what she had previously set.

she was loving every second of this. it was fun to be in control, even if just for a moment, to make him lose his mind, but she had to admit that being used as a fucktoy suited her just as well. she felt the tears that had already formed along her waterline begin to drip down her face, her eyes stinging a bit as her mascara began to face its demise. but much to her disappointment he soon pulled his cock out of her mouth, looking at the mess of saliva in awe.

“you did so good for me, jiu,” he said, trying not to sound as breathless as he felt for the sake of his ego. “wanna taste you.” he quickly saved the video and turned the camera off before pulling her back towards him, delivering a hard smack to her ass before pushing her down on the bed, making sure in the view finder that a good amount of her body was shown, then reaching for her lacey bra.

rip.

he had pulled at the seam between her breasts until it tore, pushing the two pieces to the side to reveal her nipples, perky from the cool air now meeting them. he grabbed her soft tits in his hands, lightly squeezing them and running the pads of his thumbs over her nipples, which, judging by the slight whine that came from her, were sensitive. he reached over to suck on one nipple while pinching the other, reveling in the small sounds she made as he did so, switching sides to assure they were both equally loved, before trailing his lips down her torso, making sure to leave hickeys here and there before reaching the waistband of her underwear.

jisu knew was to expect when he sat up briefly, quickly tearing the other half of the lingerie set and letting it fall against the bed before he leaned over, wasting no time and diving in, slipping his tongue between her sticky folds to collect some of the wetness leaking from her pussy. she let out a whiny moan, her hips jerking lightly. he was barely starting, and she was already infatuated by his tongue.

“god, you taste so fucking good,” he growled against her, pushing her legs further apart and bringing her legs over his broad shoulders. he was fully addicted to this, there was no doubt. he felt as good giving her head as he did receiving it from her - how could he not when she tasted that good? and she was so sensitive too, practically just as much of a mess as he was minutes earlier, but way more vocal about it too. her soft, high-pitched moans were so filthy, so pornographic, they were music to his ears. he didn’t care how messy his sheets were becoming beneath him as he lightly ground his cock against the fabric, surely leaving behind a large puddle of saliva and precum as he stimulated his painfully hard cock.

she was sure she had never been this sensitive before. like soobin, she had also had her fair share of sexual escapades in her time as an undergrad student, but nothing was comparable to this. not even close. his tongue moved flawlessly against her wet heat as his large hands dug into her hips as she bucked against him. she felt like she couldn’t even control her hips as her hips lightly jerked, which eventually turned into full-blown grinding against his face when he decided to wrap his plush lips around her clit. she was so far gone that she hadn’t even noticed his right hand leaving her hip, only noticing when she felt a finger or two teasing the entrance of her tight cunt.

the sound she released as he inserted a finger into her pussy was probably the best sound he thought he would ever hear, though this was quickly replaced by the sound she released as he curled the finger against her g-spot. he swore he almost came from taking in her reaction alone. her fingers were entangled in his soft black hair, desperately moving her hips to make him go faster. this only led to another slap being delivered to her ass.

“you’re gonna take what i give you when i give it to you, or else you’re not cumming. have i made myself clear?” he talked to her sternly, making her head spin so much that she could barely let out a cohesive sentence. “i asked you a question, baby.”

“yes,” she squeaked. “i’ll be good, i promise.”

“good girl,” he muttered as he reconnected his lips to her swollen clit, entering another finger into her wet cunt and continuing to finger-fuck her with his digits perfectly angled against her sweet spot. “you’re such a fucking mess for me. i wonder how many times i can make you cum tonight. wanna find out, baby? hm?” his deep voice almost sounded condescending, laced with so much arousal that he was sure he barely sounded like himself.

“please make me cum,” she repeated over and over again like a mantra, more and more tears spilling from her eyes and falling down her temples, her head thrown back against his comforter as she felt the knot in her stomach begin to tighten. already? fuck, how is he capable of this?

her pleading only encouraged him as he sucked harder on her clit and pushed a third finger inside of her, fingers hitting against her g-spot at a pace he didn’t think he was capable of.

“fuck,” she squealed, her first orgasm of the night crashing down on her like a tsunami. she didn’t even notice the wetness that was gushing out of her, hitting not only soobin’s face but also his blanket.

“fuck, jiu, that was so fucking hot. you did so fucking good,” he rambled as he brought his face back closer to hers, pressing a kiss against her lips. the kisses were messy and needy, moaning into each other as they tasted themselves on each other’s tongues. “i need to be inside you, holy fuck.” he wasted no time standing up, making sure to take the scraps of fabric off of jisu’s body and throw them haphazardly across the room before walking towards the camera set-up, making sure that everything was in place for the last scene.

the view finder showed that the camera couldn’t even capture how incredible, how erotic jisu looked to him. hickeys littered her collared neck and pale torso, her eye makeup was everywhere except where it was meant to be, her ass was a soft red from where his hand had met the smooth skin, and a thick sheen of ejaculate and precum slicked her inner thighs. the most devilish angel he could even dream of.

he walked back towards the bed and sat back against the pillows, pulling her towards him to sit her in his lap, both of them shivering as they lightly brushed against each other. he was quick to grab the condom off his nightstand and roll it on his cock before tightly grabbing jisu’s hips and pulling her down to sit on it, watching with a dark gaze as his length disappeared into her pussy. he couldn’t help but pull her close against him, moaning into her neck as her tight, warm, wet walls fluttered around him.

“fuck, you’re so fucking big,” she whined out, raising her hips until he was mostly unsheathed before lowering her hips once again. his cock was filling her perfectly in every way, brushing just right against her g-spot and even hitting lightly against her cervix. it was at that moment that she was almost certain she could die happily.

“you’re so fucking tight. god, this pussy was made just for me, yeah?” soobin kept rambling as she bounced on his cock, her tits jiggling and her perky nipples brushing against his chest every so often. these words weren’t just taken from the random audios he would post - well, he had probably said those words before, but he didn’t actually mean it. this time, though it wasn’t evident to him due to how little he felt his brain worked from how good she felt, he really did mean it. sex was ruined for him forever, he was convinced. no one could make him feel as good as jisu was.

jisu was fairing far worse, basically unable to form words and instead whining an affirmative against the skin of his neck, where she couldn’t even bring herself to return the favor of the numerous bruises littering the skin of her neck, instead pressing soft yet messy kissed in an identical spot. she wasn’t sure if it was her lack of clarity or something else, but his words sparked something in her. it really did feel like he was speaking the truth, after all, she couldn’t disagree that she had never been filled up so perfectly before, how no one had made her feel so incredible it was basically unreal. the feeling, rather than any of this actually forming a coherent thought in her fucked-our brain, was interrupted by soobin’s hand colliding with her ass yet again.

“use your words,” he demanded before bringing his hand down on her once again. as much as he loved hearing her pathetic little sounds, he craved hearing the words struggle to come from her mouth. yeah, this shoot was definitely unhealthy for his ego, but he couldn’t have cared any less when her pussy hugged his throbbing cock so nicely.

“y-yes. my pussy was made just for you.” saying the words out loud brought back the funny feeling, though it was quickly replaced by the rubber band inside of her snapping once again, crying out as she came. soobin lifted her hips up so the camera could see as he reached his fingers between her legs as her orgasm rippled through her, rubbing his fingers against her at a furious speed, making another round of fluids gush out of her hole again. soobin’s cock, thighs, and any of the surrounding blanket was absolutely soaked, but god, they both loved it.

he brought her hips back down, this time taking control completely when he realized she could barely move by herself. his grip on her was intoxicating, sending shivers down her spine as she cried from the overstimulation. “please,” she cried out to him, “i need to cum again.”

he grinned deviously at her. “anything for you, babygirl.” he brought her hips down against his faster and harder, addicted to the way her walls kept constricting around him. his words aided in bringing her closer again already, her moans becoming more and more frequent with her volume becoming harder and harder to control. then he brought his fingers back to her clit and rubbed in small circles.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” jisu kept crying out against him, cumming hard around him once again, squirting all over him before falling limp against his chest. he took the opportunity her current state gave him to push her backwards, making sure her legs weren’t in too uncomfortable of a position before he ripped the condom off and sat his knees on either side of her neck, and began quickly stroke his aching cock. finally, after forcing himself to hold it in for the duration of their filming, soobin finally let go, his cum spurting out and painting her face, hair, and clip-in cat ears in what felt like ounces of cum. he ran his fingers through as much of his cum as he could gather before shoving them in her mouth, whispering praises to her as she licked it all off.

⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆

jisu soon learned that soobin was not only incredible at fucking, but incredible at after care. shortly after removing his fingers from her mouth and taking a moment to regulate his breathing, he got off the bed and made his way to the bathroom connected to his room, coming back with some wet washcloths to clean the messy mix of saliva, precum, and cum off of both of them, making sure to get as much cum out of jisu’s hair as possible so washing it later wouldn’t be as difficult for her. he threw both of the dirty towels somewhere in the room, deciding to pick up the loose articles of clothing later. right now he had to focus on jisu. he grabbed the extra pair of clothes she had packed and helped her put on the pair of boyshorts and the loose t-shirt, though he couldn’t help but notice the many other goodies she brought that they didn’t use.

“i don’t think we needed them,” she said with a small shrug as she sat on the chair he had placed her in so he could change out the sheets on his bed. “you were… wow. i don’t think i can ever sleep with anyone else ever again.”

“same,” he said with a chuckle. “we should do this again. with or without a camera.”

“yeah, i would really like that,” she said with a smile. the entire time he helped her unwind after they finished, she couldn’t help but notice that the weird feelings of butterflies that she had gotten earlier had returned. but they were done filming, there was nothing sexual going on. so what did it mean?

⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆

[leenaur143]

Bad Lawyer & Crazy Dog, an unconventional love story

JUST FINISHED THE LAST EPISODE OF LAWS OF ATTRACTION!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay this is your HUGE spoiler warning because I have so many thoughts and my love for this show knows no bounds but I don't wanna take away from the magic of living it through on your own so go watch it!!!

Overall episode rating: 9.5/10

Overall show rating: 10/10

I was so tempted to take away points for that SILLY GUITAR AND THE SINGING 😭🤣 but it's fine they can't help that they're in love dhhxhdj

So, currently writing this at midnight just after 2/9/2023 which was Tinn and Charn's wedding day!!!!!!! These two goofs have come so far and yeah, couldn't be happier for them 🫶

I took a pause in the middle of the episode to collate my thoughts and here was the list I made about the first half:

1. the mma boxing unconventional fight between tinn and nawin, it was giving 'youtube boxing: worst bits!' but it made me laugh so its fine 😭

2. thee having no one truly there for him except tan - his fellow bodyguards didn't even back him, meaning ever since he started working for tan's family he truly has known no one who cares and loves him deeply which 🥹😭 how did he manage to stay so kind through all that

3. thattep that psychopath.

4. nawin being the best character ever

5. how similar nawin and charn are (one just has a few dozen more braincells than the other

6. how charn planned that entire plot knowing the risks not only to his physical self but knowing he could be risking his entire career but he's ready to do that as we saw when thattep called him to prison 🤧👏

7. the one guy that said you dropped the soap in the prison showers 🥲

8. tan using his annoyingness to his advantage and celebrating being banned from an airline - the most tan thing to do tbh

9. thee and tinn link up AGAIN!!!

10. the wedding talk made me emosh.. the entire proposal (lets ignore the singing but even that wouldnt wipe the huge grin off my face as i was watching it) i love the storyline of the song though (hats off to that tumblr user who explained the story behind the song, this was perfect

11. emotional during the seeking of blessings from charn's mum

12. grandma is a gem 💯

13. maya and rose doing so much to help the people they love - they truly are the MVPs

14. tongkhao's dream living on 🥹 all she wanted on Tinn's birthday was for him to be happy and start a family with someone he loves, and he did it 🥹😭🤧

Also, completely ignore the fact that I skimmed over the whole exposing scene because it was decent but I knew, I just knew Charn wasn't gonna die today and a bullet wouldn't be the thing that ended him so IM GLAD I WAS RIGHT 😭

The wedding! OH THE WEDDING 🥹👏 It was beautiful, just everyone who loves them there and present in form or in spirit - seeing the dolls and knowing Tonkhao was there just 🥹 maybe I'm just an emotional wreck but this episode really got me in my feels

I did laugh my butt off when they were taking wedding photos because why so stiff 😭🤣 It served prom in a nice way WHICH IS FINE it was just looking a bit awkward and hence it was funny 🤭

Also I could write entire essays about Tan's storyline but the fact that he never held any resentment for his dad even after all of THAT is just astounding, and it highlighted how even though Thee and Tan are very different, down to their core values, they're the same which is why they're perfect for each other

Speaking of perfect for each other, seeing Rose and Maya get engaged!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH I WAS SO HAPPY FOR THEMM

When Tinn said 'one day' concerning the conversation about the legality of same sex marriage in Thailand, I got in my feels again as you can probably gather is a common theme here, and I realised how much good shows like this promote.. and yeah I won't waffle on too much about that but it was really powerful 🥹

All in all, if we learnt anything from Laws of Attraction, I'd comfortably say it would be... how to say doll in Thai 🤣 (WHAT? It sounds so amazing! tuktā (pronounced too-ka-ta), it's a much better word!)

No, but seriously, what a show, I'd definitely recommend watching it and I hope, whoever is still reading my midnight rambles, enjoys it as much as I did 🫰

[tetsunabouquet]

Basic Instinct Chapter 27

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE! Today, the first chapter of Basic Instinct turnt 1 year old. I mentioned before how xenophobic native English speakers dragged me for my mistakes as a non-English speaker to the point I stopped publishing fanworks and I'll admit the lack of support also wasn't motivating. Basic Instinct is the first fanfic I've completed since my very first fanfic that I actually kept to myself that I wrote when I was 11 years old. Yes, I am saying completed as I had planned this to be the final chapter. There's something poetic about releasing the ending on Basic Instinct's birthday and it just feels right to end the story at this point. Don't worry guys, you guys will still be getting an epilogue and a blooper reel where I will be releasing some short funny scenes like the off screen dance Kotaro and the reader did at the Maji Burger in chapter 5. I thank every single one of you for being here on the journey! masterpost

Today, was Akashi's birthday. Rima had planned out everything and you, Momoi, Reo, Midorima and Kuroko had filled her in with the occasional comment about what they thought might be nice too. Last week, before winter break, Reo had slipped the invitations to Nebuya and Kotaro, and Momoi did the same for Kise and Aomine as Kuroko took care of Kagami and Murasakibara. Kagami had been a bit surprised to be invited too, but after careful thought everyone agreed Kagami also should be getting an invitation. You were glowing with excitement and wore a beautiful, expensive dress that Rima had given you as an advance Christmas gift as you did feel a bit insecure as Masaomi would drop by on the party. You didn't wanted to look cheap, knowing how he felt about you. Rima had her scary side, but she had embraced you like a granddaughter and you knew she truly had your back if Masaomi were to act coldly towards you. So if anyone should be scared, it should be him. At least, that's what you kept telling yourself. You had been as thoughtful as possiblr. For one, you had written his birthday note with the markers he had bought for you on your first date. It had been hard to think of a birthday gift, because what could you give a boy who had almost everything already? You had been grateful for your friend Mari-Chan. As the two of you had chatted about the topic and how you thought of perhaps a self-made gift, she had the most brilliant idea. With the help of everyone, you had managed to collect a decent number of photos of Akashi and his friends, the few ones of the two of you and Rima had doubles made of childhood photographs with his mother. Spending your money on a few magazines of National Geographic, you had created the most beautiful collage of nature pictures to create a pretty backdrop, and then you carefully started making a collage of Akashi and his loved ones on top of your first collage. Mari had given you the money for the frame as those magazines had blown your budget, telling you how you always had her back when she needed you and this time she wanted to help you. She also said she thought you and Akashi were a cute couple in general and how much happier you looked now that the two of you had one another. Mari nearly chocked in the tight embrace you'd given her. Now, as you entered the Kaneshiro mansion with your gift, you couldn't help but think of how the dress and the pretty mansion remembered you of a fairy tale, with you being the princess. Fujioka came to place your present with the others, and the old man smiled at you. "Thank you for giving him his joy back. This birthday will be the best my young master will have ever gotten, and its all thanks to your love that he's getting what he deserves. I'd be honored of serving you as the lady of the house one day." Your face got a little red and you could feel a few tears pricking your eyes. The compliment touched you, and you gave Fujioka your warmest smile. "And I thank you, for getting him to the warm home he deserves." "Oi, y/n-chan!" Kotaro yelled, arriving with Nebuya and you let out a soft chuckle. Another servant took the gifts of their hands and they led the three of you to the dining hall. The usual table was shoved into a corner where the small pile of gifts rested atop A new, larger table was seated in the center of the room, sporting the largest birthday cake you had ever seen in real life, and plates with various different foods. Midorima and Tamamura-san seemed to try their hardest to distract Murasakibara from eating before the party started. Kuroko, Kagami and Momoi were reacting to something stupid Aomine had said, Momoi was rolling her eyes and Kuroko was saying something you couldn't hear with Midorima's scolding drowning out his voice. Reo was chatting up with Umemiya-san and you guessed it was probably recipe related. You could recognize Yuuki, chatting up with some other maids as they eyed the commotion as you did. Only Kise hadn't arrived yet.

After another half hour, all of you gathered around as Fujioka went to get Rima and Akashi. Kise still wasn't there yet! You hoped it wouldn't hurt Akashi's feelings. As the anticipation arose in the room, and you could feel the excitement jittering in your skin, the doors opened. "Surprise!" They all yelled, only to see Kise in the doorway, carrying his gift. He chuckled as he walked into the room, "Hi!" "Kise, why are you so god damn late!" Aomine grumbled annoyed and Kise pouted. "Aominecchi, I am supposed to be fashionably late." At that you and several others chuckled, and just then did the doors open again, this time with the actual birthday boy, butler and grandma. As everyone gathered some air, they once more shouted, "Surprise!" Akashi looked on with big surprised eyes and then looked at his grandmother. "I thought you deserved an actual birthday." He couldn't help but feel his eyes water, and he hugged his grandmother. You broke out into a wide smile, looking onto his happiness. Akashi walked to your group and said, "I'm happy you made it to my birthday." "He's here now. Can we finally eat?" Murasakibara asked hungrily. Akashi chuckled and said, "Of course, let us feast on this occasion!" And so all of you took your own seat. The cake only had one candle, so Akashi did not have to worry about the cake's large size. He closed his eyes and made his wish, 'I wish my bonds with these people will never change.' All of you clapped as he blew out the candle, and almost with lightning speed did Murasakibara took a slice. Everyone looked flabbergasted at his audacity not to let Akashi go first, but he shrugged it off with a happy smile, because all of you were there and that was the gift he had always wanted. Each of you then took your then filled your own plate, and just as you took your first bite of food, did another butler bring in Masaomi, awkwardly holding a gift. "Take a seat father." Akashi said, and Masaomi handed his gift to the butler. You immediately felt anxious, but then Rima smiled at you and you couldn't help but smile back. 'thank you', you mouthed, for all her support. And the party did go over smoothly. Masaomi talked mostly with Rima and the servants that evening, observing you, Akashi and his friends from the sidelines. Which came much as a relief. Before you left to go back home, Akashi embraced you as you bid your goodbye to him in the garden. "You really look stunning in that dress. It suits you perfectly." He complimented and your face flushed red. "Thank you, your grandmother has great taste." He chuckled, his eyes bright and his smile so wide that it hurt but he couldn't help how happy he was. You wrapped your arms around his neck. "Happy birthday Sei." Akashi leaned in and kissed you with such delight, the two of you felt as if you were set afire. There was no moment more perfect then this.

[foulbearobservation]

i feel like camila and lilith's Dynamic(tm) would only serve to make things worse were cam to introduce lilith to her mom tbh. like YES ur kid is no longer a nun. YES she blew up the vatican. YES she's gay. YES the person she's dating has a bunch of tattoos. YES they are partially demon. YES tattooed demon (also) ex-nun is really tall and honestly quite scary. YES ur tiny daughter who u raised catholic (which has certain implications abt the expectations for future relationships, or at least did for me) is almost 100% in charge. also i think lilith is probably at least ok at etiquette shit when she's not being horrifically rude (i think u already understand my basis for this one) and also that she'd probably want to make at least an ok impression on cam's mum so. Tattooed super tall scary demon lady is,,,,, incessantly polite?????????? she's complimenting ur home?????? her table manners are a) right out of like. high society from like. at least fifty years ago and b) fricking perfect??????? wtf. -🦭 (I just think cams mum being so deeply confused abt them is funny. also i really want her and lilith to get along. im just making things up abt her at this point but imagine bonding w ur daughters demon gf by teaching her how to cross stitch or like. crochet or something. bc i feel like after a bit of character development lilith would really want to bring something beautiful into the world and also i love fiber arts) (sorry about how long this ask is)

Isobel prides herself on being an understanding woman. She really is. But this.

Well it’s a lot to take in at once.

Firstly of all, Camila, her dear sweet Camila, is back. This one is unsurprising, Camila hadn’t been back since the day she left. But Isobel knew she’d always come home eventually, even after she started on in that secret convent that none of them were supposed to know about. (The events at the Vatican, while unbelievable were pretty hard to hide. Nobody else could spot Camila directly, but once Isobel had seen the footage she knew, she just knew, that it was her little girl shooting from afar and, once, right at the smug bastard’s head. Always her fathers daughter, that one.)

The second thing is a bit more surprising. Camila has brought someone back with her. The other woman (not a nun) is nearly too tall to fit through the door of Isobel’s tiny apartment. Lilith is, despite her somewhat frightening appearance, ridiculously polite. Her manners are something straight out of an etiquette manual, and not at all something that matches with the woman’s scarred face or tattooed arms, but appearances can be deceiving. Isobel watches as she pulls out Camila’s chair for her and intertwines their fingers together when they think she’s not watching. The shock of Camila having broken her vows makes slightly more sense now.

That third thing (between Camila and Lilith) is fairly surprising at first but the longer the night goes and the more Isobel sees, the less surprising it gets. There’s the little things, the chair being pulled out, the polite deference, but then Camila’s tugging the other woman around the apartment by her wrist, showing off family photos, and Lilith isn’t complaining in the slightest. She’s smiling slightly, just a little thing, but it lights up her whole face.

She tries to give them privacy but her apartment is small, she can't help but catch the muttered conversation.

"You were such a cute kid." Lilith whispers.

"I bet you were too!" Camila enthusiastically replies. She reaches behind her and almost absentmindedly taps the other woman's cheek. "You can't tell me you've always had this jawline."

"Oh I uh," Lilith looks down, pressing a kiss into the crown of Camila's head when she thinks she's being sneaky, "I don't have many pictures of me as a kid, mother always said they were a waste of time. We have the family portraits but little else."

Isobel resolves to dig out her old camera, something that they can use to make a memory together.

Later, as they're leaving:

“You have a lovely home, ma’am.” Lilith says, kindly offering out her hand as they go to leave.

“Oh don’t ma’am me, I’m not that old.” Isobel goes to draw Lilith in for a hug and for a moment thinks that she’s made a grave mistake, Lilith is taut as a bowstring underneath her hands. But then she relaxes and returns the hug, albeit tentatively, and Isobel has to fight to keep the smile off her face.

“My apologies ma—Isobel.” Lilith says.

Camila takes her attention next, and into their hug Isobel mutters “She’s not too hard on the eyes, is she?”

Camila pulls back with a scandalized grin. “Ma!”

Isobel shrugs. “As long as you’re happy, you’ll find no judgment from me, child.”

“Happier than I’ve ever been.” Camila says softly, eyes darting to the taller woman trying desperately to seem like she’s not listening in.

And in the end, that’s all there is to understand, really.

[thepropertylovers]

The Eras Tour in Nashville

Dearest reader, this weekend was a dream.

After talking about it and planning it for months, PJ and I and Matt and Beau finally went to Nashville to see Taylor Swift. And it was the greatest concert PJ and I have ever been to. Matt stayed on TicketMaster for two days straight to get these tickets, and Beau booked a cute Airbnb for all of us within walking distance to the stadium, since he knew parking and driving would be insane. Everything was planned so perfectly and we had the time of our lives.

What would the world be without great friends like that?

We got to Nashville around 3ish, checked into the Airbnb, and showered. We had some time before the concert, so we walked to a bar and had a few drinks.

I will be honest, it felt weird to be responsible for absolutely no one for a day. We took the kids to my mom’s and PJ’s mom’s houses for the night, which they were so excited about. They love spending the night with their grandmas, who are much more relaxed than we are (part of what makes grandma’s so great!) and it’s a nice little break for everyone when they go.

After the bar, we walked over to this food truck serving gyros and each split one. They were SO good, though we probably could have each gotten our own and would have been just fine (they were that good).

From there we walked across the bridge to Nissan Stadium. The bridge had a great view of the city, but was PACKED with thousands of people all going towards the same place. It was madness, but in the coolest way. There was definitely a connection between all the Swifties there that you could just feel.

Once we made it to the stadium, we got a few refills on our drinks and headed to find our seats, and we were all pleasantly surprised by how good they were! They were on the cheaper side of Taylor Swift tickets, but they still felt pretty close to the stage and we could see everything the entire night.

Way to go, Matt!!

It was a surreal feeling being around that many people who were all there for the same reason. Everyone knew all the words and knew every move and every song. It was exhilarating hearing the crowd sing and scream the words you know by heart and have sang yourself over and over again.

Also, side note: please notice the girls behind us in every picture, haha. They kept making funny faces that I didn’t realize until the next day when I was going through the photos. They actually saw our video on TikTok a few days later and reached out! Small world.

The concert itself was incredible. It felt like a Broadway show but with the intimacy of talking to a best friend on her couch. Also, her stamina!!!! I have no idea how she preformed for 3 and a half hours. By the end of it, all of us were hurting and had to sit down because we were so exhausted. She is truly such an amazing performer and I am so happy we got to see her talent live.

A big highlight of the night, not that I could pick just one, was Taylor announcing her next re-recorded album, Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)!!! When she started her monologue, the crowd went wild, and when she said that instead of speaking about it, she would rather just show us what she was talking about, the crowd absolutely lost it. We weren’t picking up what she was putting down, though, and were kind of confused until the last moment when the picture below appeared on the giant screen and suddenly it all made sense.

And then we, too, lost our minds.

Speak Now has always had a special place in my heart. It came out in 2010, the year PJ and I got together, and the song “Enchanted” has always been my song for PJ, since it perfectly describers the first night we spent together. Also, the song “Mine”, with lyrics like “You are the best thing that’s ever been mine” seem to always remind me of him as well ;).

Needless to say, Speak Now is the one album that I am more excited about than any other one that she will be releasing. Can’t wait for July 7th!!!

By the end of the night, we were all exhausted and hoarse from screaming and dancing. We walked back to the Airbnb and crashed, still on a high from the last four hours. I don’t know how she lasted as long as she did, but it was absolutely incredible and to be honest, super inspiring!

Her work ethic, talent, determination, and will power to make anything she wants happen and work for her is very, very inspiring to us. She knows what she wants and she does whatever it takes to make it happen. Kinda reminds me of PJ!

The next morning, we drove to the nearest IHOP for some pancakes. It felt good to recharge and relax for a bit before making the three hour drive home.

As always, we are endlessly thankful for Matt and Beau for putting together a truly unforgettable weekend. They planned the concert and where we were staying, leaving us to just enjoy ourselves.

Don’t tell anyone, but we’re already looking at other tour dates that we could possibly do. She was that good. We started this week coming down from the high that was her concert, and almost felt a little blue because of it? Weird, I know. So we watched Miss Americana on Netflix to cheer ourselves up.

Oh! And it’s official: PJ is a Swiftie now. We’ve been listening to every album of hers nonstop since we got back, which is something I do all the time, but now PJ’s joining in.

And our kids are already on board, of course. When we got home, I told them how she performed so many of her songs and asked them which one is their favorite because I recorded little parts all of them and I could show them. Allan, our oldest, said “Gold Rush” was his favorite and asked to listen to that. Sadly, I told him she didn’t do that song, but what was another one that he loved? He asked for “Invisible String” and again…I told him for some reason she didn’t sing that song, either.

So I brought up “Blank Space” because she did do that one! And he was happy to watch her perform it on my phone, because it’s one of their favorites. Anna always calls it “the horsey song”, referring to the music video. How cute is that?

So there you have it!! The best concert of our lives and one that we will never forget. If you haven’t been to her Era’s Tour yet, dear friend, I hope you are able to make it in the future!!!

[springcloudsmind]

Taglagas dahil may bagong pagsibol

a 2023 highlight

Life update! I'm a non-major now. With many prayers and humbling times, mama finally agreed. and guess what? she said she was just waiting for me to ask her because she has trusted me already with the Lord. What an answered prayer.

<if 2023 would be described in 1 photo>

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the start of a new year!

Recently, I've been very contemplative. Maybe it's my age catching up to me. haha.

"I had a blast this 2023" was an understatement.

When I reviewed my IG stories, I was utterly shocked how the darkest time and brightest time of my life happened in just a year, in this year.

Just now, I saw my journal and my expectation for it a year ago. Never could I have imagined what happened now that it has ended.. It's rly humorous how there was a big "Be more like Him" in the first page. I prayed that I'd be more christlike and here I was; given the biggest fishbone to my throat. haha.

BUt! that was just half of it.

When I reached September, our 2nd sem, everything I wished for happened. It was the greatest time of my life.

My classes were soooooo fun. I've made palpable my table and college-ing ideas. I have been receiving high scores in my exams. I also had a very craaaaaazy class wherein we discuss about and dance disco. fUn! And beh, don't get me started on the people I've interacted with! I met many nationalities, became friends with them, and even went to another nation! (side note: I also learned about how exchange students works. hihi. maybe, Lord? Is it ur will, even for a sem? *cute face while on my knees* haha) In that other nation, I saranghae-d everywhere. First time had I experienced a negative degree celcius temperature! As cute as it sound like, hear me say this. It. Was. Not. Fun. hahaha. i wished to experience that when I was a child, but who's laughing now to be eating my words back decades after. I couldn't even take pictures. haha. I really tried my best to screen shot them in my mind for future reference and rly just go back in the summer time someday. for sure. :) When I prayed to get closer to God, he gave me something I super mega really didn't expect. Grabe, siz. I was given a privilege to disciple 4 girls in my campus, and 5 girls in our local church! I became part of the campus core team (who were *chef's kiss*), and even serving as one of the evangelism servant-leadership! I really had no kawala because I've became more accountable to His pips. hehe. a pleasure... Heart wise, it was so cuuuuuuuute! I'm happy these are all buried with me but, gorl! It was my first time to be asked out on a date. For clarity, I declined ah. Pero back in high school I aced that. (kaya God made sure I learned haha) Then in senior high, I protected my heart. Now, it was so funny 'cuz I only see these things in movies. hahaha. Thanks for asking me out, you. Nevertheless, I think I only got 2-3 other crush this year. The most recent ferson was the one whom I first saw on television, loved his testimony, and surprise surprise, he was on the same satelite as my campus and even friends with my team mates. His voice is already a sweet honeycomb in the summer. hihi satin lang to pls. But kidding aside, because of my mature ates and kuyas, it makes me want to be mature as well, and set, and contented in the Lord. So, when God's best come, I can be ready. for sure. :) haha. Lord, take this hart/plez

woop. already 30 mins in and I havent started on what I wanted to share. words cant rly be concise when talking about these things. >,<

Soooo, let me continue.

Recently, I've been very contemplative. Anxious, too. Because of that, I've been indecisive in many things, including on what I should be devo-ing. But the Lords says to just do it. So, I maximized the available resources and found the verse Joshua 1:8-9 for my last day of 2023.

Here are the things I realized:

Josh 1:8 is the same sa Deut 31: 8. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

"What about it?," you may ask. My answer would be, "It's all about it." It was the same promise I held on to back in my 1st year. It just make me realize how God is whispering, shouting even, the same words. It's like, "Child, listen. Just like what wanted and prayed for, I also want that. I want you to be succesful and glorify Me. That is why, I want you to be careful in doing the things I say." Amazing isn't it? Eto yung unshakable, unchanging, and constant shelter, Father, lover, and God. I also came across some verses God used to speak to me in the time I asked if I should really leave Engggg.

in all of these, God was reminding me how he was faithful in His word of last 2 years and last year, and will surely still be this year. How he speaks to me when I give my heart to linger and listen.

My vision for 2024 is to thirst for Him (psalm 63)

Part of my quiet time is look for real meaning of some words, or terms in its origin language. When I was searching about "meditate," I also saw maaaaaany verses that this kind of meditating was mentioned. <Psalm 1:2, Psalm 63:6, Psalm 77:12, Psalm 143:5, and Isaiah 33:18> All of those I read were about a person in a difficult circumstance and forgetting God's goodness yet reminding the self in faith.

That's the power of not letting this this Book of Instruction go out from one's speech and meditating or reciting it or understanding and applying it day and night. How mindful and intentional is the Lord of the littlest thing that he had to mention specific times of a person's day. Note also that it is in perfect tense meaning ~~~ an action started in the past and continues in the future ~ or so. He alone.

God wants me to be successful.

May it be not in my current definiton of it but he wants to. When I searched for what does it mean to be successful, I came across Deutoronomy 28. How beautiful is that painting of God's blessing. The only thing God is asking for His people is to love him. To love him in obedience. To ensure that I do aaaaall that is written in His word by His grace through faith, in all that I can.

This means a lot. All of the things I've written in this blog are all complains if God really wants me to to be succesfull. God is answering me now. He does.

He wants to bless me. He wants to love me with all that He can.

If only I'd allow him to.

<photo from that trip> hehe

[shadowysharktidalwave]

"Manifest"-ing Growth.

"If you don't know What port your sailing to, How do you know the wind that will take you there?"

After ruminating the past few days as to how I would not only like to structure this send off but also what sort of picture I have painted on this page, I came to find that I had laid out something different than what I had expected. I had initially planned on writing about how important it is to analyze art to analyze the human mind not only as a collective, but as form of looking inward and self reflecting. And while I stand by that and I feel like I could go with that prompt considering blog posts like "No color Needed" and "Change" which explored my experience with art, more specifically abstract art, helping, almost forcing me to think deeper to not only understand the piece, but myself better, I believe that I accidentally wove something with a bit more personal meaning that I feel needs to be summarized a bit more eloquently. From my very first post "Taking Flight" on my blog I have discussed growth and I continued to discuss those themes throughout this page in post such as "Feng Sui" and "Workin' on a Good Time". What I found looking back on these post was me describing my self improvement efforts and their successes such as learn how to keep my space clear such to keep my mind clear as discussed in "Feng Sui", however this was not the only thing I found. I didn't realize this at the time of writing the post, but "Wrokin' on a Good Time" seemed to almost be a warning signal to myself that I was slipping again.

Growth and self improvement is an extremely slippery slope and not enough people discuss the pit falls of this journey. I Am guilty of this too, even on this blog in fact. In my "Photo Album: Inspiration" (Which was ironically the inspiration for this manifesto funny enough) I detail my journey through the different inspirations through my life as I discovered that I had to grow from the trials i was faced with, or else the consequences would truly become insurmountable. And by doing so I Painted growth as an all saving, all be it difficult, fix all.

How ever, when looking back at "Workin' on a Good Time" I noticed something. I was getting absorbed in this go go go mentality. It's great to work and improve, but just like training a muscle, you need to rest to grow and improve efficiently, otherwise you'll just burn out.

Ironically I talked about this very concept in the post "Serenity" when analyzing a statue right out my biggest inspiration's office, my mom. She is the hardest working person I know and I strive to not only be like her, but to one day surpass the bar she has set. The post "Serenity" was sort of a collaborative effort in a way, we had discussed that statue in the past and how meaningful it is not only to the doctors and patients, but to her specially. The statue serves as a reminder of better days to come, and despite all of the chaos that may be going on around you, it's not only ok to stop and take a break to recover, but it is necessary.

"Workin' on a Good Time" reminded me of my unhealthy obsession with improvement and work. I cling to it like a drug, or a child how has long out grown there pacifier but refuses to move on because they don't know life without it. I talked about how improvement and working all but saved my life when I became homebound from seizures and offered me a away out and to gain control over my life again in my "Photo Album: Inspiration" post. But I've noticed over the years that work has because my pacifier. When things get hard, I can run away and hide in work. I'm being productive after all, work is getting done and grades/ my bank account is improving. But this in reality often results in being not more than purposeful procrastination.

Though it may sound silly, sometimes it's harder to just rest. And Serenity helps serve as a reminder of that. To rest is to stop. To stop is scary. But as discussed at both the end of "Photo Album: Inspirations" and ironically "Workin' on a Good Time", we have to face those challenges. That where we get to grow, not have to grow. And I feel that's important to point out.

You are going to be faced with these challenges either way, the only thing that we can control is how we handle it. And most times, we handle it poorly, especially if it's a really difficult challenge or something we've never prepared for. This is where pulling back and reflecting on what we did well and what we did poorly comes into play. This way you can identify your weak points, set a goal on as to what to improve next time, and most importantly, rest.

You have to take yourself out of the challenge to see the whole picture, and if your still in the thick of it, it's near impossible not to become tunnel visioned. But staying in the thick of it feels good funny enough. "I don't want to run away anymore", I've done that and it only makes things worse, so of course I'm gonna stay here until the job is done, right? Well, if you don't know which port you're sailing to, how do you know the wind that'll take you there?

You have to be able to have a finish line. A finish line is the goal at the end of the race, but it's just that. The end. That doesn't mean keep going, that means stop, rest up, and while you rest thank so time to ruminate on your performance. Did you get the task done, how well did I do, and what could I have done better. And more importantly than anything else, acknowledge that you you overcame a challenge and be proud of that. It most certainly was difficult to some degree, and you over came that instead of running, well done.

That last part is what I am most scarred of when I think about it. It becomes hard to accept that you did a good job when you are scarred of failure, but that is just another challenge you get to climb.

But to tie it all back to my first, and possibly favourite post this semester, "Taking Flight", we have to face those hard and scary challenges. If we want to fly, we have to jump off of that proverbial cliff and get back up and do it again, adapting each time to fall again yes, but fall better this time. Because after learning to fall well enough, you no longer will be falling at all, you will fly. And just like Bagon, You are just a baby flightless lizard, but with time and endurance, You to will become a dragon soaring amoung the stars.

So rest up, go fall, and take the time to rest up and ruminate, I know you too will be able to to fly. :)

[testingforhope]

Chapter 15 - Fish Calls

The person on stage, whose name turned out to be named Daphne, sang until the bar closed, when she bought her last drink and bid us adieu. She left with a zap after grabbing her cloak and heading out the side entrance. Some people also left with her, most being sirens she had flirted with after her vocals and before the next song.

Vanessa was still in her  box-room, but I could see a big group leaving. Seeing the person who was to take over my shift, I put down the rag I was cleaning the counters with and checked the register one last time before meeting up with him. He had clearly taken some kind of drug, but that was to be expected this early in the morning from where he was from.

I nodded in his direction as I left the bar for the locker room. I walked over to the self-serve station in the room and poured myself a small glass of champagne. It was the only thing I ever learned to handle alcohol-wise. After rinsing the glass I put it down and walked over to my locker on the wall while taking off my wig in the process. I opened the cubby up and stuffed the wig and apron in, exchanging it with my cloak.

After closing the locker’s door, I left the room and went outside the pub and started walking in the direction of the alleyway. I grabbed the bag back from the trash can and stuffed the cape inside it. I hid the bag back behind the trash and left the alleyway, walking in a way through the town that was so familiar, but so unknown. After a while, I ended up coming to the bubble and left the dome, my tail reappearing.

I could swim for an eternity, thinking about things that could have happened, but then there would never be a chance of it coming to fruition. Instead, when I’m here I think of the General and the first time I saw her. I swam to the surface and sat on the rock that I saw her on as the sun started to rise over the horizon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12 years prior

The water is so warm this time of year. It makes the brain relax and succumb to its waves. I swam to the shore of the mainland to end the peaceful moment. When I got there, I grabbed my towel and started patting down my skin, trying to get all the access water. I wish i didn’t have to go here alone, but mom and dad were busy with the highnesses. I just needed to get out of there so I snuck out.

I was about to pack up and go after putting on my sundress over my bathing suit when I saw the most beautiful person sitting on the island a little way away from where I was. Well, not the most beautiful, but definitely up there.

I put my stuff back and dove into the water without taking off my dress and swam to the opposite side of the rocky island. I climbed onto the rocks and stood up. Walking over to her, she looked like she was at peace with Hubain. She then started getting up and stretching her arms, clearly taking her time.

I hid behind a tree to stay out of sight, but accidentally stepped on a fallen branch making it crack. The girl, no older than I, jumped and spun towards me, her hair falling over her shoulder. She caught sight of me and grabbed a dagger I didn’t know she had and pointed it at me.

“Who are you!” the girl said, her voice faltering slightly, but still polished as if she was trained to say such a thing.

Gathering courage I didn’t know I had, I said, “I should be the one asking that. I come here every afternoon for a swim and I only just saw you.”

The girl looked startled by what I said, then she looked to the ground. My eyes followed her and they landed on a photo my family had taken the day we came to the kingdom. My mom and dad were smiling and I was making a funny face that humans call fish face, despite the fact that fish don’t look anything like it.

“You're the visitor! The one that turns into a half-fish!” she yelled when her face snapped back to mine, “My name is Pariz! I’m a knight in training under my father! It would be my pleasure to escort you back home!”

[activismarchive]

Face Filters and their Effects 

When I first joined Instagram in 2011, it was a platform full of selfies and hashtags. I was only eleven at the time, so my perspective of the app is skewed towards my viewings of other middle school profiles. The feeds were full of bathroom mirror selfies and pictures of dinner plates. Photos were always slightly pixelated from bad lighting on an iPod touch or iPad camera and sometimes were covered in a filter to increase saturation, but posts felt genuine. They were largely unedited, uploaded without much thought, and accompanied by a caption like “hope everyone had a good day”.  

Social media today looks much different. While there has been a slight push for making social media a more authentic place again, feeds are highly curated and edited to produce an aesthetic. The emergence of face editing filters, both obvious and more subdued, have followed an age of face tune and photoshop. TikTok and Snapchat probably take the lead for the use of more obscure AR (augmented reality) filters. You are now able to put your face on a potato in the ground or wear a virtual flower crown.  

The real debate is whether these filters provide a source of creativity or are just adding to the years of unrealistic body expectations exacerbated by social media. In an article written by Tate Ryan-Mosley, she states, “Today, though, more and more young people—and especially teenage girls—are using filters that “beautify” their appearance and promise to deliver model-esque looks by sharpening, shrinking, enhancing, and recoloring their faces and bodies.” (2021) Here, lies the larger issue. While these filters can be funny, many of them also create subtle changes to the look of the user. Features like larger lips, clear skin, or a slimmed-out face shape can be easily masked by a pair of glasses or sparkles on the face. These alterations, although slight, are showing a false version of people on widespread platforms. When enough people use them, do we really know what people look like? Even more detrimental, can these filters alter our own self-perception? 

On the opposite side of the argument, it can be stated that “AR filters serve a social function of self-assertion, visibility, empowerment, and assisting in demolishing ideas about gender aesthetics”. (Herrington, 2022) While I do believe these filters can do more harm than good, there is an art to their creation. As with all art, the usage of filters and their meaning are entirely subjective. On TikTok there are filters that apply masculine features (including a beard and thicker eyebrows) to the user and there is also one that gives the user more feminine features (long hair and lipstick). These features could be used in cosplaying videos to aid in creating a visual or could be used in helping to close a gap in one's gender-dysphoria.  

While we probably won’t know the full extent of the mental implications of face filters for several years, even decades, it will certainly be interesting to see how body image has been shaped by their prevalence.  

Herrington, J. (2022). Face Filters as Augmented Reality Art on Social Media. In: Geroimenko, V. (eds) Augmented Reality Art. Springer Series on Cultural Computing. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-96863-2_16 

Ryan-Mosley, T. (2021) Beauty Filters Are Changing the Way Young Girls See Themselves, MIT Technology Review. Available at: https://www.technologyreview.com/2021/04/02/1021635/beauty-filters-young-girls-augmented-reality-social-media/.

[wiredlyrelatable]

WHAT THE PARTY!! (part-2)

He blushed for a second, giving her a side hug as they were sitting, says,

NIKHIL: ESHA...DUDE! YOU REMEMBER THAT, KEEPING YOUR MEMORY LOSS ASIDE. HOW CUTE!

She hits him on his shoulder after which he says,

NIKHIL: ESHA YESTERDAY AFTER OUR CONVERSATION I REALISED THAT I WAS AN ASSHOLE TO LET YOU LEAVE MY LIFE. NOW PUTTING ALL MY CONFUSION WHICH I HAD BEFORE, ASIDE I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I STILL....

ESHA: AH..ONE SECOND! I AM ACTUALLY REALLY HUNGRY. I WILL TAKE FEW MINUTES TO FRESHEN UP AND WILL MAKE SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN OKAY?

After saying this she ran to the washroom and shut the door behind her when he laughs to himself saying,

NIKHIL: THIS IS SO ESHA. RUNNING AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!

She pulled a new brush out kept near the sink, uses it, washed her face and came out, changed her dress and wore one of his long t-shirt which fit her till her knees, walked to the kitchen and finds NIKHIL having his coffee standing in the balcony there. She finds a packet of bread and eggs there and asks him,

ESHA: ARE YOU OKAY WITH BREAD AND OMELETTE?

NIKHIL: YA THAT WORKS!

She takes the pan and makes everything in a few minutes after which he arrived behind her and takes the plates from her hands, outside, towards the dining table saying,

NIKHIL: YOU MADE IT SO I HAVE TO SERVE IT RIGHT?

Both of them laugh after which he feeds her his bread and says,

NIKHIL: JUST WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU, LIKE THE OLD TIMES.

She doesn't say anything to it after which both of them have their brunch at 1 PM, sit in the hall when he asks,

NIKHIL: LET'S WATCH SOMETHING?

ESHA: AHH..BUT I AM HERE SINCE LAST NIGHT SO MAYBE IT'S BETTER I LEAVE NOW.

NIKHIL: SEE KEVIN AND TANYA HAVE GONE OUT MAYBE ON A DATE SO AFTER SHE COMES BACK HERE TO TAKE HER HAND BAG YOU BOTH CAN LEAVE TOGETHER. WHAT SAY?

ESHA: HMM...OKAY!

NIKHIL: SO OUR ALL TIME FAVOURITE MISMATCHED IS OKAY?

ESHA: OKAY COOL!

Both of them sit on the couch and start the season 1 of the series. They remember their memories as they watched it for the first time in their college days. She remembers how they meet in their college and how infront of the whole class he proposed to her in their second year after getting to know her in the first year. On the other hand, he thinks how he broke up with her in his old house, just because she became a bit busy in her work, her first job after college. He was so angry with her because she was unable to spend time with him so in anger he tried to pull her close to explain her something when she pushed him away from him after which he blocked her from his life like he did from all the apps of his phone which were used to contact people. He coming back to the present asks,

NIKHIL: YOU STILL FIND RISHI THE CUTIEST CHARACTER OF ALL OF THEM RIGHT?

She smiles saying,

ESHA: YA! LIKE YOU WERE AND STILL ARE MAYBE HEAD OVER HEELS FOR NAMRATA'S CHARACTER.

Both of them look at eachother and laugh when he says,

NIKHIL: I LIKED HER THAT MUCH BECAUSE SHE HAD ALL YOUR CHARACTER TRAITS. SHE IS YOUR PHOTO COPY, EXCEPT THAT SHE WAS A QUEER AND YOU ARE NOT.

She laughs and says,

ESHA: HA HA HA! VERY FUNNY!

After saying this as she looks at him he without laughing, coming close to her, on the couch and holding her hands says,

NIKHIL: ESHA! IT'S NOT FUNNY BECAUSE NOW I AM DEAD SURE THAT I REALLY LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE THE....

She stands up and moving away from him says,

ESHA: DON'T COMPLETE IT! I CAN'T HEAR IT AGAIN.

He stands up too and walking towards her says,

NIKHIL: BUT I AM SURE THIS TIME ESHA! LET'S GIVE THIS RELATIONSHIP ANOTHER CHANCE. COME ON!

She starts getting a bit panicky and says,

ESHA: I THINK I SHOULD LEAVE BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS. I WILL ACTUALLY CHANGE AND LEAVE.

The thunder sounds stricks with a few lightning inbetween the clouds and so does the rains start when he says,

NIKHIL: MAYBE THE RAIN GOD WANTS US TO FINISH THIS CONVERSATION.

She getting a bit annoyed and says,

ESHA: NIKHIL PLEASE! IT'S NOT FUNNY. I HAVE A CAR SO I CAN DRIVE.

He stops her from going inside the room to change saying,

NIKHIL: THAT'S NOT SAFE ESHA!

ESHA: WHY DO YOU CARE? I LEFT YOUR HOUSE THAT NIGHT AFTER OUR FIGHT DURING HEAVY RAINS SO I AM FINE WITH IT, OKAY?

NIKHIL: THAT'S WHY I AM NOT LETTING YOU GO THIS TIME.

She trying to move him away from her way saying,

ESHA: NOW IT'S TOO LATE NIKHIL.

NIKHIL: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO LOVE ESHA.

After saying this as she was trying to move him away, he picks her up and taking her away from the room towards the couch there without listening to her puts her on the couch and holds her hands behind her, when she says,

ESHA: NIKHIL STOP IT! WE ARE NOT KINDS ANYMORE. LET ME GO. LEAVE MY HANDS!

NIKHIL: ESHA I LOVE YOU! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

ESHA: I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYTHING ANYMORE. GET OFF ME!

NIKHIL: YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO RUNAWAY FROM EVERYTHING, EVERYTIME OKAY?

ESHA: JUST SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF!

He held both her hands under her and held both her cheeks with his hands, made her look into his eyes, kissed her forehead after which he comes close to kiss her lips and as their nose touch eachother, she starts getting scared and breathing heavily, continued saying,

ESHA: NIKHIL I CAN'T DO THIS. I AM NOT ABLE TO BREATH. JUST GO AWAY!

He after hearing that moves away from her when she turns to the other side, starts breathing heavily and to herself says,

ESHA: ESHA IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY! CALM DOWN!

He crawls, sits beside her and says,

NIKHIL: I AM SORRY! YOU NEVER USED TO GET PANIC ATTACKS BEFORE RIGHT?

She doesn't say anything when he brings few tissues from the kitchen and starts wiping her sweat saying,

NIKHIL: I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THIS. I AM REALLY SORRY. I WILL DROP YOU HOME IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE NOW.

ESHA: WATER?

He brings a glass of water and as she completes drinking it, she says,

ESHA: I AM FINE! THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME ONCE IN A WHILE.

NIKHIL: FROM WHEN?

ESHA: AHH..ACTUALLY..

NIKHIL: I NEED TO KNOW THIS ESHA PLEASE.

ESHA: THE NEXT MORNING AFTER OUR BREAKUP, MOM AND DAD HAD A HUGE FIGHT AT HOME AFTER WHICH THEY HAVE DECIDED TO DIVORCE EACHOTHER AND THEN WENT BACK TO THEIR RESPECTIVE LIVES, LEAVING ME RIGHT THERE ALL ALONE IN THAT HOUSE FULL OF HAUNTING MEMORIES OF OURS AND THEIR SEPARATION TOO. THEY TILL DATE SEND THEIR RESPECTIVE SHARE OF LOVE IN THE FORM OF POCKET MONEY TO ME SO THAT I SURVIVE ALL ALONE WITHOUT THEIR NEED. OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS THEN AS YOU ALREADY KNOW SO I TRIED CALLING YOU AND AFTER A FEW CALLS I REALISED THAT I WAS BLOCKED FROM YOUR LIFE SO DIDN'T SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE TILL DATE THAT IS THE REASON THESE ATTACKS KEEP COMING WHEN I AM GENERALLY TOO STRESSED IN RELATIONSHIP MATTERS.

NIKHIL: OH SHIT! FUCK FUCK! I WAS NOT THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME THE MOST. AH...I HATE MYSELF FOR THIS.

She puts her hand on his shoulder and says,

ESHA: I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THIS THAT IS THE REASON I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ALL THIS.

He looks at her, holds her hands and says,

NIKHIL: YOU WERE WITH ME IN ALL MY WORST DAYS BUT I LIKE AN IDIOT DITCHED YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME THE MOST.

ESHA: NIKHIL IT'S OKAY! RELAX! IT'S THE PAST NOW RIGHT?

NIKHIL: I GET IT BUT I WANTED TO BE THERE.

ESHA: I AM FINE NOW! PUT THAT GUILT OF YOURS AWAY NOW.

NIKHIL: OKAY FINE!

ESHA: SO, YOU ARE OKAY NOW?

NIKHIL: MAYBE I SHOULD BE THE ONE ASKING THAT RIGHT?

Both of them look at eachother and laugh after which he asks,

NIKHIL: ICE-CREAM IN THE RAIN?

ESHA: LIKE OLD TIMES. SURE!

Both of them change, sit in his car, pick their ice-cream flavours from a roadside cycle, enjoyed it with, the music, the rain drops on the window, the cool breeze which hit their face, danced in the car with their hand moves, had a lot of conversations, changed their driving seat inbetween and finally in the evening at 7 PM they go back to his place where in the parking lot both of them hug eachother for a minute, after which she walks towards her car to leave when she turning behind asks,

ESHA: ARE YOU UNBLOCKING ME NOW?

He smiles saying,

NIKHIL: DONE IT ALREADY!

Both of them smile and wave a, 'BYE!' to eachother as she drives outside the gate to her place.

[patb440]

A Letter to the Person I Thought I Met

March 1, 2023 WEDNESDAY

Dear JV Cruz, 

Eversince I matched with you on Tinder, I started to wrap around my head on how I will make this thing work. My mind is consumed on how we will first meet in person and how I am going to act. 

The thing is, before I found out that the one I matched with was a poser using your photo, I didn’t know who you were. I thought you were just another pretty face looking for love and I was just cruising Tinder trying to pass time to forget all the heartache that the start of the year gave me. 

Since I matched with your poser and we started talking, I looked at your photo again and thought you are really familiar to me, like I have seen you before. So I asked a friend of mine if you look familiar to him too. That is when I found out that you are kinda like a celebrity. He gave me a link of one of your socials and from then on, I started to browse information that could tell me who you were. 

Without me noticing it, I got caught up with the idea to know you better. I know this sounds like a stalker but in reality, I was just really curious of this person that I matched with.

So, as the days passed, I watched your Youtube videos and somehow I saw a glimpse of your personality. I know what we see on screen is far way different from reality. Well, I somehow hoped not. 

You love your Mom so much and it shows on your posts. I even almost cried when I watched one of your vlogs. You were celebrating your birthday during the pandemic and you were video calling your mom to celebrate with her. The moment she sang the birthday song, it touched every being of me. Your love for one another transcends or maybe it was just me since my mom is the most important being in my life growing up and up until now. 

I watched your funny vlogs and somehow saw that you have humility written all over you. I really liked that. Probably because you started off from the bottom and worked your way up, as it seemed. 

The day I found out that I was being scammed on Tinder, I questioned the universe and shouted “Why are you doing this to me? I am a kind person and all I ever wanted is to find someone that I can love and be loved back.”

Fast forward, the same day, I found your Facebook account and without even thinking, I sent you a message. I figured you will not even take a look at it but I got surprised that you did and you spoke to me like a normal human being. I am grateful for that. 

I know this is strange and you are a stranger to me. As the quote says “Sometimes, it’s easier to tell a stranger something very personal. It’s like there’s less risk, opening yourself up to someone who doesn’t know you.” 

Today, I am finally moving on from a 9-year relationship after breaking up almost 3 months ago. In fact, today I sent his things back and it feels really bitter sweet. It was painful to see yourself in a failed relationship that you kept for so long yet a bit of light shines because this is a new life for me.

I wanted to reach out to say thank you. Thank you to a stranger that motivated me to sing again. To try singing and recording again. I left it for a relationship that in the end, did not serve me well. Thank you for motivating, unconsciously on your part of course, to continue to be successful in life. Thank you for reminding me to love our mother more since they moved heaven and earth for us to live happy. You are an inspiration for me. Though I was not a fan, I think I am now, yet very lowkey lang, you as a celebrity. But I am definitely a fan of the man off screen just by seeing the tip of the iceberg. 

Thank you, Mr. JV Cruz. Continue to inspire. 

For now single (cringe), 

Pato

[lalanboy]

the last time 04/09/22

the inevitable ending has arrived but i’m the one who’s leaving this time i guess i was hoping unconsciously wishing that you come along with me, taking our last steps in the gangway honestly my desires don’t usually come true then there you are in the alleyway fully dressed up with that comfy looking jacket the weather was cold but i feel very warm

and when we board the boat, i want to be standing beside you but i realized, being near you was enough i couldn’t even stare at you for a long time because of all the people around us i want you all for myself and it’s the one thing i want but could never have

when we’re about to get off the boat for a very lucky seconds i got a glimpse of your ass crack funny, i did expect it to be really hairy just like your legs that shows whenever you wear that gray short

whenever we take group photos on that cool looking shelter i want you to join us so badly so i can have another picture where the two of us is in it but you were really busy taking that call was that your girl on the line? was she happy your coming home? your face shows how happy you are

i even tried to be funny so you can laugh at me for you to think i’m not some kind of a quiet freak i want your attention a reassurance that you know i existed

at last our service arrived but all of us cannot fit at the same time so we arranged us into two groups you were at the first one i decided to be in the second fuck me for choosing to stay behind i might even had a chance to sit next to you but that’s me, a coward i always freaked out when opportunities served in front of me

our time at customs was also a regret i missed a possibility of having more time with you and at the reception of the hotel with fancy couches while some of us are settling what to do next you and your buddy ask is anyone of us wants to join both of you exploring a beautiful city in denmark you have no idea how much i want to say “me” but it’ll be weird if i’m the only one who wants to come so i stayed silent and watch you step out of the hotel entrance i am stuck with my fellow countrymen and it’s fucking emotionally draining sometimes

the very next morning you showed up at the breakfast diner where we’re staying at our eyes met while i am grinning to some joke i made and i wonder if you think the reason was you you sat on a different table across mine and i went to get my third set of croissants although i am full but i keep on going i just want the thought of us eating together

and i should’ve stayed a bit longer to the point where there’s just the two of us but i stood and walked past by you like you weren’t there pretending you were invisible through my vision and to tell you the truth, i really hated myself for it without looking back hurts me more than you can imagine

if i knew that would be our last meeting i should’ve say “goodbye” at least i should’ve poured my heart out ‘till the last minute now i am regretting everything that happened all the things i couldn’t do all the words i wish you heard me say all this feelings building up my chest it was screaming the words “i really fucking like you”

now your name became an echo that won’t fade away and sadness attached itself on the memories of you in my head to you, the only electrician i fell really hard for i wish nothing but happiness and success this life could offer that will be our final encounter our paths will never cross each other ever again so please

fate

third meeting is not necessary or else my heart cannot take anymore torture of seeing him again

[littlecarnet]

Going on this path, I do have regrets about my short fic with Giratina. I wanted to delve a bit deeper into some concepts in the first chapters. I'm happy with the description of the Distortion World. I was inspired by these photos and the idea of Liminal Spaces.

Im also happy with Cynthia's view of Giratina as being very alien and unsettling. She mentions Giratina as hard to read because their features are so bizarre. I imagine their mouth looking a bit like a centipede.

We can't really tell if they're happy, sad, angry, or even tired. They have no features were familiar with to gauge emotion. Though at least Cynthia has Giratina's vocal tone to kind of get a basic understanding of their mood. Even with other pokemon, she can kind of read them. But she has difficulty. Cogita also has the same trouble with Arceus, until he assumes a human shape. But what I failed to add is their unsettling aura isn't solely based on appearance but also their presence. Even in a human form, there's that feeling that something is off.

I nailed it with Arceus, who prior to entering the world through a portal from their plane of existence, they resemble something like their beta form. In-universe, this form kind of hurts the brains of mortals. It's not something they can comprehend. There's this sense that there is much more to them than what can be perceived physically and mentally. Or with the Unown, who give Damos a sense that he's met them, but knows that can't be the case as it's his first time seeing them, until Arceus explains he's remembering that moment before it happened. The unown exist outside time and space. Their presence echos across both.

With Giratina, I didn't do as good a job conveying this Ruler of the Lost. I wanted Cynthia to feel this cold unearthy sense of dread. Like standing at the edge of building or a bottomless pit. Facing a creature she's only heard of in myths as being this violent, unpredictable, beast. .... until she realizes a lot of that was misinformation via her ancestors. Giratina might be powerful, might have had issues with anger management in the past that caused their parent to ground them for a few centuries, but they serve an important role and even helped stop a man from reseting the world. She sees a hero and misunderstood being that she's okay with making friends with.

Giratina's unsettling nature near really leaves her, but now it piques her morbid curiosity. Like how people think sharks are dangerous yet oddly fascinating. And then he gets transformed, and that fascination turns into general interest. Because now that uncanniness isn't as prominent, she can read him, and he's confessed he too thinks of her as fascinating. And then they fuck. Lol I think that's what made me rush a bit in the story. That and his 3 day human vacation courtesy of Arceus. Compared to my main fic, Giratina and Cynthia's is full of innuendo and sexual tension. I love their dynamic. They don't beat around the bush like Arceus and Delia. They know exactly what they want and they don't have a lot of time to waste.

But in doing this, I cut corners on stuff I wanted to convey more. Sigh. Maybe one I'll rewrite the short fic to include everything I wanted.

-----

One of my friend's brought up a question about Arceus family. Will they all get human forms? Giratina has one, but will Palkia and Diagla have one?

It's to be determined. I have a few funny plots to try out with them. One is Arceus being exasperated by their bickering and carelessness around humans, being changed into human children, and sending them to the past to be raised by their respective clans leaders to teach how to be more considerate.

But another surprisingly involves Brock. Lol

I may get to their stories one day, but I'm still wanting to write my oldest fanfic idea with Sabrina and Mewtwo. I just love the idea of them being good friends, who help heal each other's troubled pasts.

Speaking of characters finding out major secrets.

The scene where Delia finds out about Archer is already written and finished. It won't be published until a LOT later on, but I just had to get that pivotal scene down. It was just so vivid in my mind's eye how everything just starts out with a simple gesture on Archer's part, then it starts going into this emotional roller-coaster with illusions, biblical accurate angels, and eldritch abominations. But within the pokemon equivalent versions of that of course.

And of course there's going to be, ya know, stuff to cool things off and humor. My writing style leans more to funny than serious after all.