#firneno.txt

[firnehoe]

coping with the fact that i have to wait two weeks for an abortion by calling it the tadpole and pretending that im playing bg3 irl

[firnehoe]

years ago, my great grandmother had a stroke, but somehow completely recovered. when they did an mri of her brain, they saw that her artery had strengthened itself to provide blood flow to the deficient side of her brain

she’s still alive and going strong at 102 as well, with her only beginning to lose her wit as of a few months ago

We thought my grandma had a tumor in her heart and it turns out she was born with a small hole in her heart (she was born at home in rural Appalachia in the early 1940s and had two older sisters who died within days of birth, spotty childhood medical care) and her body somehow fixed it. Built up scar tissue until her heart no longer had a hole. She gave birth to two children, lived a normal life and only had this diagnosed in her 70s. How cool is that? How badass is the human body?

[firnehoe]

just blew my managers mind telling her about the shen yun cult because they're currently staying at my hotel

[firnehoe]

the only reason im actively using this hellsite again is because reddit is too taboo to be seen in public and i work at a hotel

[firnehoe]

every day my hatred of taylor swift grows more and more to the point i fear it may start to become irrational

[firnehoe]

yes, objectively, pas de duex is a sad song; everyone knows that tchaikovsky wrote it as a memorial/goodbye for his sister. however, I think it symbolizes more than simply tchaikovskys grief, and also has themes of hope and uplifting.

pas de duex is the final song that clara/maria (if you’re going with the balanchine version) and the nutcracker witness together. after, they sail in a ship made of a walnut together. when clara wakes up under the tree, holding her beloved nutcracker, she realizes it was all a dream. its her beginning the next stage of her life, and realizing how much beauty is in the world. remember, all of act ii is the sweets from around the world, showing off these different cultures. pas de duex, while a memorial and tchaikovkys grief in a single composition, can be seen as his wanting his sister to be in a better place; to be happy. its a journey of his grief, and the cumulation of clara’s story, as well as his sisters.

[firnehoe]

my antidepressants are finally working and i have motivation for the first time in weeks! yippee!

[firnehoe]

i force myself to be in one (1) academic class per semester because I only have three (four counting this one) semesters left before I graduate and i genuinely think i lost all my academic prowess during the them in stem era PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO MY SILLY LITTLE STUDIO

[firnehoe]

environmental story telling

[firnehoe]

the friendship i have with the 40 something y/o maintenance guy at my hotel is unparalleled

[firnehoe]

i love tumblr but i hate the mobile app so much stop showing me a random tag i used a year ago to talk about blorbos

[firnehoe]

porn bots keep following me which is cool but like also disheartening?? i think i have a nice blog but apparently only horny ai appreciates it

[firnehoe]

i swear one of these days ill actually pay attention in my chem lecture

[firnehoe]

i hate when people make fun of my trauma like,, no! thats not for you to joke and the about!! I hate when people talk about my mom like she's so cool and that they wish she was their mom, as if she hasn't been emotionally absent for the majority of my life. or they joke about how i mumble all the time as if i haven't been taught that what i have to say isn't important, or they say that they forget that im smart as if I haven't been told over and over that I talk too much about things that no one cares about

stop fucking belittling peoples trauma ffs

[firnehoe]

the hardest part of a mid-study nap is going back to work, like, you mean to tell me i can’t stay comfy and cozy on this beanbag forever?????

[firnehoe]

i love making idle observations about people who I'll never talk to. like, oh, that person who literally sits on the other side of my lecture hall dyed their hair red. looks good on them!

it’s nice to watch others explore their identity and become more comfortable with themselves. im happy for them.