#fir our anniversary!!!

[eldritchmochi]

tattoo tattoo tattoo

[horsegamergirl]

New Game Blog just came out, this time with questions from players for the game's CEO Johan

Here are some answered questions that I found interesting:

Would you ever revisit and revamp Starshine Legacy? For our tenth anniversary we did a remaster of the Starshine Legacy games and made them available to play directly on our website (you can find them here https://www.starstable.com/se/starshine-legacy ). There are still many locations that I love in these games that haven’t made it into SSO and that I would love to see there when the time is right! 

Any hints for the future? We have many plans for the future that I would like to tell you about, but I will hold back on that so that we can share what is coming when the time is right and we know that we can deliver! But I can tell one thing! We are continuing to deliver lots of improvements to our core technology, the engine which the game runs on. This is something that will become apparent to you in the shape of performance improvements, better game stability, and new features! It will also allow us to keep delivering a great experience to you for many, many, many, many years to come!

When are we getting more story quests?  Last year we ran into some unexpected challenges when the story quest we were working on didn’t turn out the way we wanted. So we took a break, focused on delivering the Winter Festival and the amazing content that you’ll get to see in February that continues to build on something we released last year. Now we have gone back and are working on what should come next in the story quests - they mean a lot to us and we know that they mean a lot to you! We promise to keep you updated!

When are you expanding the map? Funny that you should ask this … During the last few years we have focused on populating the parts of the map that you already have access to. In 2023 we gave you Hollow Woods and last year we shipped Silverglade Equestrian Centre. While we will continue to improve the experiences across the currently accessible parts of Jorvik, we have also started to investigate if it is indeed time to expand the map. If everything goes as planned you might get to hear more about this later in the year!

[dckweed]

ROSES ARE RED, RESERVATIONS ARE EXPENSIVE, YOU'RE LUCKY I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU, gator & pearlie

summary: just a little valentines blurb for our love bugs Gator and Pearlie, a day late lmao

warnings: fluff, mentions/allusions to sex, pregnant!reader, reader referred to as pearl or pearlie extremely minimal use of y/n, gator being sweet on valentines day

series masterlist

Almost a year you and Gator had been married, and it already felt like a lifetime, but in the greatest of ways. Your little craftsman house was just buzzing with life in the past seven months, your little sisters moving in with the two of you after Gator had taken care of things with their father. You were like your own little family, school pick up and drop offs, sports and music lessons, family suppers most nights of the week. Gator would sit dutifully and help with their homework, and even downloaded games onto his Xbox to play with them and it had become your favorite weekend morning ritual to hear the three of them animatedly going about it sprawled on the living room floor, bowls of cereal haphazardly forgotten about on the coffee table.

The holidays had been fun too, Gator had dressed up with you guys as the characters from Scooby-Doo on Halloween, even going as far as to take Freddie to the groomers and have them dye his fur to look like Scooby. For Thanksgiving, he taught your sisters about football while you cooked an entire meal for your small group, his dad and Karen having spent the holiday with her parents, he even lead everyone in going around the table to say what they were thankful for, which you thought was so adorable. And Christmas? He went all out. Overboard, even. The inside of the house was all you, though he had dutifully helped you pick out a big thick Douglas Fir to fit right next to your front window, and he had helped you decorate it with your sisters, scooping both girls up even though they were much too big for it so they could both put the angel on top of the tree. He had then wrangled them outside to help him set up the yard decorations that he had spent an ungodly amount of money on just so he could make you your own winter wonderland in the front yard.

New Years had been one hell of a party, your sisters knocking out just as the clock struck midnight. You and Gator had shared a kiss and even a slow dance to ring in the new year before he looked down at the girls with his hands on his hips. You had told him to just leave them, let them sleep on the couch, but he had carries them to bed anyway, his back muscles and biceps flexing. Something about watching him be a Dad to your sisters was so mesmerizing, and maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was because your husband was just so damn hunky, but neither of you got any sleep that night as you made a compete mess of the living room couch and floor..and even the kitchen table.

You refused to call the Superbowl a holiday, something that almost cause a rift in your home as Gator had your sisters on their sides, but nonetheless you still hosted a bunch of his highschool and work buddies. You and a few of the wives and girlfriends had gotten started talking about valentines day, especially the ones with kids who has been given lists of things for class room parties (you had yet to see a magical list but you were sure it would appear soon), which caused the guys to start talking about how annoying and unnecessary Valentines day was, among the voices you heard your own husband say something about how manly it was.

Which was why you were surprised to wake up on February the 14th to a bouquet of roses on the pillow next to your head. You hadn't even mentioned Valentines day to Gator, let alone dropped hints. You figured you'd save the big show of love and appreciation for your anniversary in June. You groan as you sit up, racing to your feet to once you catch sight of the time on your alarm clock, you run to the girls' room, they were an hour late getting up, school started in ten minutes. You had your fist raised to knock on the door when you noticed a piece of paper taped to it, Gator's messy scrawl on it.

You rip it from the door and hold it in your hands as you read it. 'Pearlie, hope you liked the flowers, took the girls to school so you could sleep in a bit..be back soon- G'

You could have sworn Gator said he had to work today. Confused, you shuffle back to your bedroom, making up your bed as neatly as you could, the white and red heart shaped duvet covering the entire king sized mattress. You rearranged the pillows too before grabbing the bouquet and shuffling back down the hallway, to the kitchen.

You're filling a pretty pink vase with water and trimming the ends of the flowers when the front door opens. "Baby, is that you?" Roy had made a habit of just walking into your home here lately, and the last time he'd done it you'd been naked, trying to surprise your husband.

You squeal loudly when large, warm arms encircle you, pulling you back against a chest as hands make their way to your slowly rounding belly. "Happy Valentines, pearlie girl.." He murmurs, kissing under your ear gently, you can feel the smile on his face as you tilt your head to the side, making more room for his lips to work.

"Thought Valentines wasn't manly?" You breathed, eyes closing briefly as his lips brushed over the spot where your shoulder meets your neck, where you seem to be sporting a constant love bite here lately.

He grins against your skin, rocking in place with you. "S'not." He whispers, turning you around slowly in his arms so that he can plant sweet little kisses all over your face. "Just want to show my girl how much i love her..that so wrong?" You can't help giggle at his words, knowing that he showed you more than enough love every day.

You open your mouth to tease him when he catches your lips with his own, a slow, deep kiss, all tongue and sweetness that leaves you whimpering when he pulls away from you. "I got you somethin' baby.." He says, voice still quiet even though you're the only ones in the house.

"I know baby, they were beauti-oh!" From somewhere behind him, the back pocket of his jeans you think, he pulls out a small velvet box and opens it. "Gator! Baby.."

Inside of the box was a beautiful gold necklace in the shape of a G, inlaid with a bunch of dazzling diamonds. Your eyes watered as you looked at it. "Aw hell," He breathes, the corners of his lips quirking up in a smile as he watches your reaction. You had been doing that alot lately, and he knew you couldn't help it, hormones and all that. He thought it adorable though, that you turned into a cry baby over the smallest of things. "Had the girls go in with me to pick it out a couple weeks ago..we stopped and picked it up on the way to school this mornin'.."

He took it out of the box and unclasped the chain, placing it securely around your neck, a loving smile on his face as he did. Immediately your hand was on it, fingers gliding over the letter. His eyes were drawn to your nails, he had remembered you saying you got them done yesterday but didn't remember looking at them to compliment you on your choice. "You get these for today?" He asks, taking hour hand in his. You nod as he brings your fingers up to his lips kissing them gingerly before kissing the knuckle above your wedding ring. "The little red hearts are cute..d'i wana know how much they cost?" He didn't care, he loved to keep your hands looking pretty, loved the way your manicured nails looked when they were wrapped around his own hand, or his cock..

You shake your head at his words, wiping away the tears with the other hand as you remember what was in your nightstand drawer. "Wait, hold on I'll be right back!" You say, rushing off in a hurry.

"You sick or somethin'?" He follows you quickly, making sure you didn't need his help. You hadn't had morning sickness in nearly a month, he was hoping you were past it, and he was relieved to find you bent over the drawer of your nightstand, your silky white shorts giving him a perfect view of your ass. "Bab- oh hon you didn't have to get nothin' for me..this day is about you.."

You shake your head, bouncing excitedly. "No baby, it's to celebrate love..its for both of us!" You exclaim, taking the lid off of the small box in your hand. He gasps when he sees it, and you can't help but grin.

"Pearl, baby.." It was a black watch, metal. The clockface was silver, a cold color despite the deep black you had chosen. You didn't know much about watches, but you knew that he liked them, and you knew that this was a nice one.

"Flip it over.." He does as you say as he takes it out of the box, his eyebrows furrowing as he reads the inscription on the watch case. "Forever your Valentine..'

He takes the old watch off to slip the new one on, it's a perfect fit. "I fuckin' love you baby.." He pulls you into a kiss by the back of your head, his large hand holding you firmly in place as your hands find purchase on his broad chest. "I have one more surprise okay?"

You pout, eyebrows furrowed.

"Need you t'dress real fuckin pretty for me tonight baby," You pout even harder this time, tears coming to your eyes. Did you not look pretty all the time? What did he mean? As if he could read your mind his face changes and he immediately starts wiping your tears. "Ah ah, baby, you know I don't mean it like that..you're always lookin' real pretty for me babygirl, but tonight I need you to look extra fuckin' nixe..takin you to that place in the city.."

You squeal and jump in your place, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist as you kiss his face repeatedly. You catch him off guard but he still puts his hands under your ass, supporting you. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You chant excitedly, arms wrapped tightly around him. He hoped to have you chanting that later tonight too, in a different way, preferably followed by his name. He can't help but grin at the thought as you jump off of him, running over to your closet as you try to find an outfit that even fits your barely there baby bump, but still looked sexy.

"Rose's are red, reservations are expensive, you're lucky I fuckin' love you!" Gator rhymes horribly just so he can hear your giggle from the depths of Narnia that you call a closet.

"I love you too baby!"

taglist:

@ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki @xmalfoyweasleyx @girlwiththerubyslipper

[astridhoff03]

The Anniversary

Hiccup & Astrid celebrate the day they came Offical together and rember all the memories they have Made together.

"Hiccup, where are we going?" Astrid asked, laughing, her husband's warm hands over her eyes. “You’ll see, Honey. You'll like it," Hiccup whispers in her ear and immediately gave her a small kiss on the cheek, which made his wife giggle briefly. “Just a little bit more and we’ll be there.” He slowly took his hands away from her eyes and gently ran them over her arms. "Happy anniversary." Astrid put her hands over her mouth, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was so wonderful. In the middle of the cliff, surrounded by some fir trees hung with glowing lanterns, there was a table for two, full of delicious food. In the middle of all these delicacies stood a carved wooden statue of two dragons snuggled up close to each other and painted over with gold paint. Toothless and Stormfly. She carefully ran her fingers over the miniature of her beloved friends, a small tear rolled down her cheek. "Oh, Hiccup, it's wonderful, I love it." She ran into her husband's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck, lovingly stroking his beard with one hand. “Only the best for my wife and the Chieftess.” Astrid smiled and sheepishly pushed a long strand of her blonde hair out of her face. “May I please, M’Lady?” Hiccup grinned and pointed to the richly laid table whose glasses shimmered in the sunset like thousands of small diamonds. “And if you’re allowed to.” She interrupted her husband and the two of them sat down at the table. The two enjoyed the delicious food and watched the sun disappear behind the horizon with each passing minute. Small fireflies rose from the grass and, together with the silver glow of the crescent moon, illuminated the deep black night. The sky was an onyx-colored carpet dotted with thousands of stars. Hiccup cleared his throat and held out his hand to his wife. "May I ask for this dance?" Another broad smile appeared on Astrid's face as her husband hugged her tightly and the two began to dance slowly. A warm pinch slid through Astrid's braided hair as she leaned against Hiccup's chest. “You know, I missed that. For once, no children. No obligations. Just the two of us.” He placed his thumb under her chin and brought her face close to his. "Me too, Astrid."The next moment she felt his warm lips on hers, his hands moving from her waist to her hips. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tighter. She wanted to feel him, very close to her. They deepened their kiss. With every touch he became more passionate and hungrier. Astrid felt the heat rising within her, the pure desire for physical closeness. For a brief moment the two separated from each other. Hiccup leaned his forehead against hers and smiled mischievously. “I think now it’s time for my present,” Astrid smiled. “I can’t wait,” Hiccup said softly. He didn't waste another moment and lifted her into his arms like a bride while Astrid caressed him with her lips. Without being able to think any further clearly, the two went into their house and up to their bedroom. Hiccup carefully laid Astrid down on the large bed and then leaned over her again to kiss her. "Are you ready?" "With you always," she whispered and brought his lips back to hers.

A little later the two found themselves snuggled up together under their blankets. Astrid's head rested on Hiccup's chest and she gently ran her fingertips over the runes on his bare chest that spelled her name. She smiled contentedly. "You have to admit my gift was just as good as yours." Hiccup lovingly stroked her shoulders, which he wrapped his arm around. "Especially because you've been giving this to me since our first anniversary." She laughed and leaned over him, the blanket sliding down a little from her chest and exposing a small part of her breasts. “You do the romantic thing and I’ll take care of everything after that. That‘s how its going every year.” His hand ran down her back, grazing her shoulder plate where the tattoo with his name was. “And it’s a treat every year,” he smiled, running his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. With these words, the two melted back into a deep kiss. “Do you remember the evening we finally got together?” Astrid asked. Hiccup smiled, his hand sliding down her back and resting on her hip. “How can I forget that. That was one of the most beautiful evenings of my life.” Astrid cuddled up to him again, her fingers glided over his torso, which was covered with scars, and caressed the fine contours of his abdominal muscles. "I can't believe it's been so long." He pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. "I feel the same way. I remember that day I was so afraid that Gothi wouldn't find a cure that would allow you to see again." "I was also afraid that I would be in the dark forever. That I could never look into your eyes again.” She paused for a moment and waited for his reaction. But he just stroked her hips, she sighed relaxed and just enjoyed his touch on her bare skin. “Do you remember the first flight on Toothless?” he asked with a mischievous grin. Astrid turned bright red with embarrassment. “Please don’t remind me of my fifteen year old self. I was horrible...and mean." "Oh come on, Astrid. You were just…own.” She laughed. “Oh, that’s what you call my angry outbursts back then. Unlike me, you were just cute. You still are now.” Hiccup had a hard time suppressing another grin. "I was really weird." "In a cute way," Astrid corrected him. He watched as she traced his scars until her gaze slid to his shoulder where he had the Strikeclass symbol as a tattoo, which again had a red tail fin, in memory of his best friend. With that thought, he took her arm and briefly glanced at the small tattoo of a Deadly Nadder who looked like his wife's beloved Stormfly. He kissed the little mark. “I miss our dragons,” he whispered, a sad tone in his voice. “I miss them too but…” “They’re safe and that’s the main thing,” he finished her sentence with a faint hint of a smile. In response, she snuggled closer to him. “You know, that somehow makes me think of our moonlight flight together when we set out to look for oil for your “secret project.” His eyes flashed back to that one very special evening on this deserted island. It was the first night they made love. Hiccup's hand crawled up her hip back to her waist. Their eyes met as he leaned over her again. "If you remind me of that night..." Astrid smiled in relief as their lips touched again and she snuggled into his embrace.

@ryupioupiou

[princessmacedon]

{ happy anniversary!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. Template courtesy of Neffi! 💕

Name: Red, more commonly nicknamed Reddo

Pronouns: they/them preferred, she/he OK!

Birthday (no year): December 28th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? moved to kentucky when I was young, and for sake of ease i use EST (TOAST)! i live near a timezone line, so i get to be flexible like that >vo)v HAHA

How long is your roleplay experience? with a few on and off breaks, roughly 15 years? i forgot about a period of my life where i 'moderated' (read: was the most active user on) a warrior cats RP site; my first foray into rp proper was in pokemon rp on tumblr, my first muse was lyra but i didnt have an internet name until i picked up and settled into writing (you'll never guess who)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? kind of half answered this above oops, but with warrior cats i genuinely dont remember? i probably just googled warrior cats and wound up there HAHA. for pokemon...... honestly probably the same thing

How were you introduced to TOA? key had mentioned it to me in passing a few times, so i knew she was there, but it wasn't until my friend zyra mentioned it to me and suggested we write macedon siblings together again that i actually joined, hahaha

Do you have any pets? i do! i adopted a ?? year old dog from the shelter about six years ago, so now he's x+6 years old :] pretty sure he's some kind of border collie mix, but not certain! his name is tobin, but he'll answer as long as you say 'ob'. he's a sillyhead

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) it used to be winter because i love the snow! but as i get older and more harrowed by weather conditions, i appreciate how normal and not-trying-to-kill-me autum is HAHA

What is your IRL occupation? (finger guns) figuring it out

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? drawing was my first love! i like reading, especially comics, and writing; i like video games and immersing myself in stories, and have passing interests in things that i don't commit to trying out (like resin, charms, etc etc)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, mainly; genshin impact and hsr; various farming-ish sims (story of seasons + old harvest moon, stardew valley, rune factory, currently fields of mistria); to a lesser extent dragon age, ace attorney, various VNs / otome / rhythm games, pokemon until roughly scarlet/violet era and then my wallet couldnt keep up with it HSDFSGVSD

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: as a kid it waffled between fire / dark, but not sure i have a dead set favorite type anymore. favorite pokemon still lucario and appletun for sure though!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) - i love christmas and thinking about gift giving! when i was in school my christmas spreadsheet hit like, 50 names HAHA nooooo way do i have that energy anymore, though - i'm reasonably fond of baking and also reasonably terrible at it! something always goes wrong but usually (usually) stuff comes out pretty tasty in the end. except for that time i set my oven on fire

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my friends were talking about how much fun they were having with the new game at the time, awakening! it looked fun so i decided to try it out

What Fire Emblem games have you played? - Beaten: Genealogy, Blazing Blade (FE7 if youre like me and still cant remember which one is which), Shadow Dragon & New Mystery, Awakening, Fates (Conquest + Birthright), Three Houses (Blue Lions) - Started: Binding Blade (FE6), Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance (FE9), Fates (Revelation), Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (Black Eagles & Golden Deer), Engage

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening -- still Awakening! possibly tied with 3H, though. i really enjoy games where i can peacefully level grind

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! vaguely ordered, it's: Wolf, Maria, Cordelia, Seliph, Katarina...? if you think you're seeing a trend you're probably right, hahaha ^^ writing a character is an expression of love for me, so inevitably my muses climb higher and higher on my list over time

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! the clearest one i can remember is wolf, because when i was playing fe11 i was passively using him because he was pretty, and then he got 7 crits in a row and i was like :pika:

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳i'm weak toward green haired women AHSJASFDSF but actual game crushes, hmm... not sure!

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: chrom -> still chrom! - Fates: takumi -> hmm... silas or flora? - Three Houses: dimitri -> still dimitri, except now he's duking it out with yuri - Engage: i have the ring in my pocket as we speak, suffering from the burden of choice... probably diamant though?

Favorite Fire Emblem class? whatever class my blorbos thrive in

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? in all likelihood i'm a villager with just absolutely baffling AI. not entirely stupid, but you cant in good conscience say it's smart either HAHA as a playable unit though, i might be a recruit-type? i could do well if you help me grow, otherwise i'm just this scruffy shitty thing tucked into your pocket. middling-high skill growth, paper defense, and you wish you knew what my speed growth was because i don't (probably fast as a mage but realistically NOT as anything physical)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) my heart says blue lions, but if i'm just some guy (unaffiliated civilian) i won't be surprised

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: Reason - Banes: Authority, Gauntlets - Budding Talent: Flying

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) hmm... probably either Firene or Lythos! i'm too much of a weenie to be from brodia HAHA

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) toah, like noah! to all my xiv gamers out there this definitely applies to job shorthands too. durg. dirk. whum blum sidge. rurpur and rogg...

Current TOA muses: Maria & Katarina

Past TOA muses? Cordelia my beloved

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Maria! unless something unprecedented happens, i don't see that changing. writing her, her want and determination to love and find wonder in the world, to spread and be joy -- it just puts me in a good place! it's really, genuinely helped me a lot, even if her extroversion is exhausting to my introvert ass sometimes HAHA

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) uhhh... i definitely tend toward characters who are in some regard defined by a form of love or strong emotion, romantic though it need not be -- people who have some sort of powerful, aching tenderness in their heart. i've not really done as much as i've wanted in terms of bringing that out of them, but it's definitely something that draws me in to a character in the first place!

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? ooh, there are lots of characters i like who have a brusque edge or manner, who might be harsh or cold... i wish i could do that! i'd like to try, i think. and also the funny, energetic, boisterous types -- i love to see them and be around them, but i definitely can't pull it off hahaha

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) it's been a while since i've gone all in on this kind of scene, but i love emotional scenes and heart-to-hearts -- the sort of thing where you're communicating your feelings with everything you have and trying to reach someone else! i usually rein myself in well shy of that though, hahaha. i worry a lot about getting too lost in the sauce and derailing a conversation/thread, or making it all about what my muse/what they want to communicate.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? for katarina, i'd love for her to make some friends! she's her own worst enemy in this regard, separating herself from friends/friendships whether consciously or subconsciously. for maria... well, i'd love for her to have a real heart to heart with someone!

Favorite TOA-related memories? to this day i miss and adore annie's frederick! his dynamic with my cordelia at the time was so much fun to write and to talk about and we had such thoughts for how their relationship would evolve -- it's one of the most interesting and endearing relationships i've had the pleasure of writing! on a sillier note, i often think about leif hauling ass after kanoesa's lewyn HAHA

Present or past tense? it used to be past tense, but i think toa's successfully converted me to defaulting to present hahaha ^^;; consciously at least, i try to match whatever my partner does!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? it doesn't matter to me, but i do hate fighting tumblr to keep all of the small text small.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 the wolf app/blog i've been refining on and off for the better part of three years is no secret HAHA, but i've seriously contemplated writing a few other characters! radd and boucheron, to name a couple. i get super attached to my characters though, so it's a bit tricky

[invisibleraven]

Keeping Spirits Bright

Day 16: Tree + Fleggie <=AO3

“I don’t get it,” Reggie declared as they snuggled watching Charlie Brown. “What’s with the aluminum trees?” 

“I guess they were popular when this special came out,” Flynn replied. “I never had one-my dad insisted we get a real one every year. Something about tradition and the environment, because he always planted a new one in its place.” 

“That honestly really sweet,” Reggie replied. 

“Yeah,” Flynn replied, even though it was begrudgingly. She loved her parents, she did, but their hippie tendencies she could have lived without growing up. At least they did let her believe in Santa until a respectable age, and got her the toys she asked for, even though she was positive they would have rather not indulge her love of plastics. “What about you? Did you have a real or fake tree growing up?” 

“I had a menorah,” Reggie replied. “I grew up Jewish, so we celebrate Channukah. No tree for me.” 

“Never?” 

“I mean, once I moved in with the guys they had one, but since Lexie shacked up with Willie and Luke spends pretty much every second at Julie’s place I don’t know if I’m going to bother this year,” Reggie replied. 

“But you have to have a Christmas tree!” Flynn protested. 

“Sugar bear, I only celebrate the holiday with you guys,” Reggie replied. “I really don’t need one.” 

“Well I need one, how about we get one together?” Flynn compromised. “That way, you can enjoy mine.” 

“I can do that for you,” Reggie conceded. “So do you wanna get a bright pink aluminum one?” 

“Seems more like Carrie than me don’t you think?” 

“Well we could go get a fake one,” Reggie suggested. “Probably only a small one, you don’t have a lot of room here. Surprised you don’t have one already.” 

“I do, but it’s falling apart and I was going to get a new one this year regardless,” Flynn confessed. “This is just more motivation.” 

“Well do you wanna head to Walmart then?” Reggie asked. 

“How about a real one?” Flynn asked, biting her lip. “It’s silly, but…I guess Charlie Brown inspired me. I kind of want something…not artificial this year.” 

“I have no idea where to get you a real, honest to goodness Christmas tree,” Reggie confessed. “Do you just like, go out into the woods and chop one down?” 

“I mean you can, but only in certain places,” Flynn recalled. “My dad once wandered into a national park, and it’s only because he planted a new one that the rangers didn’t kill him.” 

They both giggled at that-Reggie could just picture Mr. Taylor trying to explain his way out of that situation. The man was a sweetheart, but also a teddy bear when it came to confrontation. 

“I think there’s farms you can go to?” Flynn finally said once their laughter had died down. “Pick whichever one you want and they chop it down for you.” 

“Well I can chop down a tree,” Reggie supplied. “I grew up on a farm, I do actually know how to use an axe.” 

“My rugged man,” Flynn teased. “How about I do some research and this weekend we can go check it out? And then if we don’t find one-we’ll go to Walmart.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Reggie replied. “Now, let’s see if Snoopy wins that contest.” 

The next weekend, bundled up-and looking quite chic in Flynn’s case, they went to the tree farm. It was more a well lit lot than a copse of trees, but it was the closest one that didn’t involve a multi hour drive. 

“Well, is there a certain type of tree you want?” Reggie asked as they walked through the selection. “There’s pine and fir, but I really don’t know the difference.” 

“Neither do I,” Flynn admitted. “I just want one that’s green and full-ish. Plus that will fit in my little living room.” 

“Well we can get a smaller one and just cut off the top if you want,” Reggie replied. “Though that seems like a waste of a tree.” 

“And I don’t think we’ll have the option of planting a new one here,” Flynn agreed. 

“We’ll go do that in the spring,” Reggie assured her. “I found a nice organization that does that sort of thing, right in time for our anniversary.” 

“I love that.” 

They kept walking, but most of the trees they came across were too large, and way out of their price range, so they went towards the discount section. None of them were as sad as the one Charlie Brown picked up, but they were still fairly sad looking. 

That is until they came across a small pine that had a lush, full top, but the bottom was fairly bedraggled. “That’ll work,” Reggie commented. He pulled out his axe-the lot owner was fine with them chopping down their own, but it meant they also had to tie it up and transport it to the truck themselves. But Reggie haggled a cut in the price for that, and Flynn loved a good bargain, so it endangered him to her even more. 

A few chops and the tree was felled, with Reggie giving a dramatic call of “Timber!” with a cheeky grin as he did. Flynn shook her head, but it was still sexy as hell to see him work that axe. Especially as he chopped the top of the tree off, handing it to her. “You get that part, I’m going to take the bottom to the front for the owner.” 

Flynn screwed her face, glad she was wearing cheap gloves that she could toss if they got sap on them. Thankfully the tree was light, but she was still glad when the truck came into view, stashing it away as Reggie paid. 

It didn’t take long to set up-thankfully they had thought to buy a stand ahead of time, and Flynn had a small set of baubles to decorate it with. Reggie was a little confused about the garland, and scowled at the tangle of lights, but soon enough the tree looked glorious and they sat back to admire it while the fireplace channel crackled on the television. 

“I didn’t think it was such a bad little tree,” Reggie joked. 

Flynn rolled her eyes, but snuggled in, warm and happy in the tree’s glow, safe and loved in Reggie’s arms, and really what more could she ask for?

[loregoddess]

Corentin fir the character ask?

How I feel about this character Corentin, Corentin my dude, my guy, light of my life and love of my heart. Love him so much. One of my initial MVPs, and also one of my favorite characters in general from the game.

All the people I ship romantically with this character No one, really, I don't have a lot of ships for TriStrat actually (I have a few, just not for Corentin, guy's married to his research in my head).

My non-romantic OTP for this character Love the weird friendship he has with Erador. Because of the anniversary art, I think it'd be cool if he ended up being weird friends with Maxwell too (Maxwell would probably politely listen to Corentin ramble about the thermodynamics of ice for an hour or so, has has that sort of a patient vibe to him), although in my head I think he probably gets along well with most of the playable characters, in a "that's our weird scientist and we love him even if we don't get him all the time" way.

My unpopular opinion about this character TriStrat's fandom is so small, and no one really posts a lot about Corentin so I wouldn't know if my opinions about him are unpopular or not. I do have a thing about nerdy researcher characters, so him being my favorite isn't a surprise to me since he's basically Exactly My Type (one of my types at least), but he doesn't seem too popular so I guess his being my favorite's sort of? Unpopular? Dunno really though, I just think he's Neat and don't worry too much about whether my favorite characters are everyone else's.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I've talked about my "wish there were more character interactions" with regards to all of TriStrat before plenty (what I would give for FE support / UO rapport conversation chains in TriStrat, I love the TriStrat characters so, so, so much I'd love to see them interact in canon more), but if I were to add another neat aesthetic thing to the game, I would have had the character portraits update when they upgraded classes, since we get different portraits for a few of the main characters under special circumstances. Would have been a lot of work for the art team to do class-updated portraits for every playable character + the special portraits that already exist, but it would have been really cool too (I promise this has nothing to do w/ my wish to see the updated class outfits in higher res, and to use them as refs for whenever I get the urge to draw TriStrat fanart again, I have absolutely no ulterior motives here, promise).

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

Haiii sanaaaaaaa. I really haven’t been on tumblr for 2 weeks now i think. How are youuuu btww ik im late but congratulations on ur 1 year anniversary.

O m g while i was writing this i was sitting on the couch and i looked back and saw water everywhere. Something was leaking and omg it was horrible and tge thing is the floor is made out of wood if it absorbs the water we have to change the wood and its quite expensive. Holy shit i called my mom who called the security whi was on duty and i went to our neighbors house to ask fir a shovel so she also came to help. But we did it the waters gone now we just need to pray the wood didn’t absorb the water

Im sweating man this was not what i had in mind for today. I got my daily exercise done by just doing that i was on the floor wiping the floors with millions of towels while they shoveled out the water.

OH EM GEEE IS THE FLOORS OKAY?!?!

i really hope you don’t gotta replace it 😨😨 that’s gonna be expensive eeeshhhh

either way i’m good! thank you for the anniversary wishes hehehe 🫣🤭 i hope you’re doing well haha! 🎀🩷💞💖

[thepastisalreadywritten]

The Vatican unveiled its annual Nativity scene earlier this evening, paying special tribute to the origins of the beloved tradition on its 800th anniversary.

The scene in St. Peter’s Square depicts not only Mary and Joseph standing beside the manger, but also St. Francis of Assisi, who organized the first Nativity scene in a cave in the Italian village of Greccio on Christmas Eve in 1223.

Cardinal Fernando Végez Alzaga, the president of the Governate of the Vatican City State, presided over the December 9 inauguration ceremony.

More than a thousand people gathered in the square for the event, which included moments of catechesis, an explanation of how the scene was put together and the signing of seasonal hymns.

The Vatican’s Greccio-inspired Nativity scene does not include live animals and people, as St. Francis’ original did, but it does feature life-size terracotta figures, crafted by renowned Neapolitan sculptor Antonio Cantone.

At the center of the scene is the now-empty manger, where a figure of the Newborn Savior will be placed on Christmas Eve.

On one side of manger, a statue of Mary kneels, flanked by a rendition of St. Joseph, while on the other side, a statue of St. Francis of Assisi stands in a pose of wonder.

In addition to the figures of Mary, Joseph, St. Francis, and the traditional ox and donkey, the 13th-century mayor of Greccio who helped organize the first Nativity scene, Giovanni Velita, is featured in statue form, along with his wife, Alticama.

Three Franciscan friars, whom St. Francis had tasked with setting up the first Nativity scene as a place where local faithful could come and contemplate the poverty of the Incarnate Lord, are also depicted.

The backdrop of the scene is a replica of the fresco that decorates the Chapel of the Nativity in Greccio, which is built into the grotto where St. Francis set up the first Nativity scene.

On one half of the fresco, the saint is shown kneeling in adoration of the Christ Child; on the other side, Mary is depicted feeding the Newborn Savior, while the figures of Joseph, the ox and the donkey look on.

Underneath the fresco, a Franciscan friar is depicted celebrating Mass in the grotto.

The friar elevates the Body of Christ directly behind the manger.

In another fitting tribute to the Nativity scene’s origins, this year’s Vatican display was provided by the Diocese of Rieti, which is where Greccio is located.

The Vatican’s Christmas tree was also lit at the December 9 ceremony.

The tree, an 80-foot-tall fir, had been donated by the Italian community of Macra, located in the northwest of Italy.

The tree was adorned with edelweiss flowers that are native to the Alpine region.

Upon lighting, it glowed with ever-changing patterns of green, blue and red.

After the tree’s use in St. Peter’s Square, its wood will be used to make toys for children in need.

Earlier in the day, Pope Francis spoke to delegations of the two communities that had donated the Nativity scene and the Christmas tree.

The Pope said that meditating in front of any Nativity scene should “awaken in us the nostalgia for silence and prayer, in our often so-hectic daily life.”

The Pope also said that the Vatican Nativity scene’s connection to Greccio should in turn prompt people to think and pray for the inhabitants of the Holy Land amid the ongoing war between Israel and Hamas, especially children and their parents affected by the conflict.

“These are the ones who pay the real price of war,” Pope Francis said.

Both the Nativity scene and the tree will remain in St. Peter’s Square until the feast of the Baptism of the Lord on 7 January 2024.

Source: National Catholic Register

Highlights: Inauguration of the Nativity scene and lighting of the Christmas tree on 9 December 2023

10 December 2023

[private-bryan]

Get To Know Me

Thanks for the tag @queer-cosette

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

Niet - I've never really wanted to get one either. If I was forced to at needlepoint it would probaby be the inscription from the One Ring around my bicep

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

Royal Blue

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

A bowl of Kellogg's Special K (gotta get that fibre in)

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

11:06 - I'm meant to be doing a security review, but that can wait for the more important Tumblring

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

Libra. And I've got no clue on anything more than that

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

Canadian (just in case the missus is listening), but from the UK/Ireland it's any of the Scottish, Welsh, or Irish accents. They're extremely sexy (most of the time) compared to the bland Home Counties accent in my area

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

Several.

My dumbest are the ones on my knuckles. It wasn't from a fight, but from slipping down an icy set of concrete steps, and not realising I was bleeding copiously from all the knuckles on my left hand until I was halfway to work (on a Rail Replacement Bus, no less)

I also have one on my palm from where it was cut by flaking paint (on the handrail of the same set of stairs!)

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

ISTP

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

The Road to El Dorado

"Did you ever imagine it would end like this?"

"The horse is a surprise."

📺 - Favourite show?

Derry Girls. Also Taskmaster

😂 - Are you ticklish?

Yes, but the freewheeling elbows that follow usually disuade people from trying again

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

I already am. Unless I divorce I'd rather not commit bigamy

😳 - Do you like your name?

I don't dislike my name. It's just... a name. My surname is quite rare though, so I've got that going for me

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

Magnolia (we rent)

🤓 - How did you get your name?

I don't think there's a reason my parents picked it, unfortunately.

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

I never went to Uni, but I left college (UK definition) in 2004

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

Nope. Again, fairly bland in how I want my body to look. Aside from the beard (which was mainly an excuse not to shave every day) I basically just think of it as a slightly crappy vessel to live in.

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

Brown. Quite dark, in fact, so that from not too far away they look almost black.

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

Cut short twice a year (grade 3 all over), then I just let it grow until it gets too curly. I don't do anything with it, not that you could do anything with it anyway.

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

Not really. I was a/am nerd, and didn't really go past shandy until I was 18

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

Just twice - I don't really like how it makes my head feel. Once was after a funeral of a schoolfriend. I can't remember the other one

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

Physical fear is either heights or dogs. But my biggest one is that one day I'll be alone and forgotten.

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Too cold. I'm an overweight man, so I don't like almost literally swimming in sweat. And with cold weather I can just chuck on another jumper or t-shirt (I'm currently sat here in my dressing gown)

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

Pissing it down. So long as I'm at home and can listen while reading in bed

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

Autumn. Cool, colourful, and has my birthday in it!

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

The Alpaca. I made the missus go to an Alapca farm on the Isle of Wight when we were over there for our 10th wedding anniversary

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

Three cats (Penelope, Irene, Helen). The wife has a dog called Fritz, but I don't interact with him

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Just over two days.

🎨 - Any hobbies?

Writing, gaming, bookbinding, sewing, model making, 3D printing, procrastinating

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

I'd like to tour the UK - Have a hoke around Scotland, revisit Wales and Northern Ireland, go and see some history in York or Nottingham or something.

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

Currently, it's foiling techniques for my books - the missus bought a second hand set of the LOTR books, and I've got designs on rebinding them and want to make the edges gold

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

Tumblr. Close second for NYT Games (gotta get Wordle and Connections in), and Duolingo

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

I'm a suburbs person. Or at least a town person.

I like some people around, and being in close range to a supermarket and stuff, but I don't like being in a really big city (like London or Belfast) for too long - something like Portsmouth or Derry is ideal actually

Tagging: @areseebee @carouselunique @imstressedx if you feel like you'd like to have a go too :)

[worpleroad]

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[abhidahlia]

March 29th, or 30th, or 31st

Word count: 3068. Also on substack.

Today, or yesterday, or tomorrow, is the 12 year anniversary of the beginning of my writing career. I remember exactly where I was, sitting on the floor in my mom’s living room, staring at the heater. Years before, I would download a joke app because I wanted to be funny and witty and clever and outsmart all the other kids in middle school. I deleted the app after realizing I’d heard funnier in class or on the quad for P.E. and lunch. But, years later, to catch us back up again, I redownloaded it. Not sure why. I was going through old apps that’s for sure, and redownloaded it, and that’s how the history books get made. I found stories on there. Weird. This is a joke app. There were forums too, the names of which I don’t remember, but I remember there were two forums where people posted stories. I posted in the wrong forum, and someone told me to go elsewhere. So that’s what I did. Anytime I opened the other sections of the app it was so dull and / or dry and / or dead. Our section was alive. There was a little community, thriving. There was a top category (as in, most rated of all time), a most popular of the week category, and a fresh / recent uploads category. The app is now defunct and not compatible with new phones, but I made many, many memories in my three years on there.

I was reading someone else’s story, not sure what about anymore, and in the comments someone made the classic joke of the era. “Still a better love story than Twilight.” I read Twilight when I was 10, specifically July 2010, and it is a badge of honor that one of my twitter accounts still reflects my ten-year-old love. But, three years later, fresh teenage me saw this comment and went. “Huh. Yeah. I bet I could write a better love story than Twilight.” And thus, on March 29th, or 30th, or 31st, 2013, my writing career was born. 

I must also add some clarification. Is a storyteller born when they write their first story, pen and paper? Are we not all storytellers? I believe that is a fundamental part of what makes us human: our ability to tell stories and create art. I’ve been writing stories since a kid, telling elaborate stories my mom and other adults would call lies. I knew they weren’t true, so sure I was lying by technicality, but I wanted someone to hear me and be amazed. I wanted attention damn it and I’m not ashamed to admit it anymore! When I was nine or ten I made a Facebook fanpage about me, invited everyone I knew to follow, and only made one post. Something along the lines of “When I grow up, I want to be a writer.” Completely forgot about it, got in trouble for having a Facebook that young, accounts deactivated, blah blah; years later I’m writing a story and my cousin tells me, “Oh yeah. I remember that page you made.” Unlocked a memory. Unlocked several memories of me writing stories on paper and pencil, putting them in my nicest folders, hiding them so my mom wouldn’t see. Have I not always been a writer? Or does my art only become art once another person has seen it? If that’s the case, other than school assignments, then the last three days of March 2013 is when our story begins.

I’m not so sure of the date. I think it was the 30th. I know I told myself to remember it was the last few days of March, and I have a memory of me remembering that I scrolled and saw the first note (I mostly write on a notes app) I wrote was the 30th, but what if I wrote something on the 29th and deleted it? So let's just go with the 30th for sure. That’s when I started crafting my ideas.

My first story was about a black girl (light skin unlike me, somewhat middle class like me) and the new guy at school falling in love. It was so angsty and so bad. I hadso much to juggle: a whole ensemble of characters, a best friend with an eidetic memory because I thought it was cool, at least four love triangles, including one love rectangle (or pyramid?), teen pregnancy, adopted sibling romance, and the first story (because of course there was a sequel) ending with our main character getting hit by a car and waking up with amnesia. The second story picked up seven years later with the main character having her memory back, married to the person in the triangle who she wasn’t destined for (very Bella ending up with Jacob) and her daughter trying to get her parents back together despite them being married to other people. I never ended up writing the third and final story. It would’ve involved kidnapping, another pregnancy, suicide, crime, mystery / thriller etc blah blah blah; the point is obviously I started watching Degrassi way too young (age nine at least) and all those days being sick watching Maury or Jerry Springer or Steve Wilkos with my grandma really molded my little baby brain. All evidence of these stories have been wiped from existence. I hope no one remembers them, except me, and even I don’t want to.

I’ve come to regret deleting those stories. I wish I still knew what my thirteen year old voice sounded like to compare to today, but at least once a year for five years I would try to reread what I wrote back then and I could feel my brain rejecting the information (better known as cringing) so I made the executive decision to delete anything that wasn’t good.

I deleted everything. I deleted a lot of my second story too. About a demon (no, not like that kind) trying to run away from her past. Kind of? The original idea was for her to be a matchmaker, but it changed a lot as I was writing it. It also got a sequel with angels, and an unwritten tri-quel with witches and trickster spirits. I’m making it sound much more impressive than it would’ve been. Once again this story had some classic Twilight elements, namely way too many chapters dedicated to the supernatural characters fighting a “war” over the main character and backstories for characters that were so much more interesting than the story happening in the present. The sequel (with the angels) was set in 2023 back when I thought that was a year so far away it would never come, or I wouldn’t live to see it because I was gonna die before my eighteenth birthday. Why didn’t past me warn future me about the pandemic!

I had many stories I wrote in that three year period. (2013 to 2016, to clarify.) So much to say. So much to show and tell. A cryokinetic falling in love with a pyrokinetic (very Zutara meets Sky High). A former hitwoman on the run after killing her mentor’s son / ex boyfriend / adopted brother (I did a lot of stuff with pseudo incest. I may write an essay on the topic as a genre in media in the future, it’s so fascinating). A handful of Disney princess reimaginings: Cinderella as a prostitute, Rapunzel as the lost princess of England but she’s a freedom fighter for the partition of India, Sleeping Beauty but she has Sleeping Beauty syndrome so the whole story is a dream, Snow White in witness protection from her evil auntie who has claim to the throne, something with the characters of Frozen I don’t really remember. A mermaid (not The Little one, we’re off the Disney stuff now) adopted by humans who doesn’t know she's a mermaid (very H2O meets the Thirteenth Year). Twins separated at birth who fall in love except they're not twins because they were switched at birth (No, I didn’t watch the show, but I clearly love a scandal). A girl who is killed by her kidnapper and must get over her grief of not being able to live her life while in The Afterlife (yeah, that’s the title. I’m sooocreative). I could go on, but I shouldn’t. I think I got all the important ones.

I cranked out so many stories. I could’ve flunked high school. I didn’t. I barely stayed afloat. That A in Spanish really held me on. I was a good student. People would turn to me for help with assignments and homework. Someone told me once “You're the smartest person in here but you don’t apply yourself.” Truth is I didn’t do homework. I refused. On top of the other shit I had going on in life, my only moments of joy were the litany of tv shows I had lined up everyday of the week, except Saturdays because I had two shows then, and the fact that after a shitty morning and a shitty day at school and a shitty evening alone with my mom, at night, I got to turn off everything except my phone and type type type away. I would stay up until 3 or 4 am, typing until I literally couldnt keep my eyes open anymore. I woke up many a times to ffffffffffffffffffcGGggvfddffk nn mmmmmk being the last thing I wrote. Then I would go to school, drink coffee, and catch up on all the sleep I missed.

I miss that time. Don’t get me wrong it was awful. I would never go back to it. I miss how much I wrote.

I don’t miss how much I wrote in secret. Another classmate said she liked something I wrote in class, so I showed her the first chapter of the demon story I posted on Wattpad and she laughed. (I put a word through google translate in Latin trying to be all high fantasy super serious. In hindsight she wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings, I knew that even back then but I don’t know what I was thinking as a high schooler showing another high schooler something and not expecting them to laugh a little bit. I remember her liking something I made but all these years later I don’t remember her compliment. I only remember her laughing at one admittedly silly thing. How silly is that!)

To this day I pretty much only write at night. I’m writing this at night. I started it at 2:40 something, minutes after getting the idea, after already taking my contacts out. It is currently 3:25 am. All day I brew with good wonderful amazing ideas! Sometimes I write them down. Sometimes I continue to ponder. Sometimes I forget and it comes back to me days weeks months later and I still don’t write it down. But I do have a lot of notes. So so many notes. No execution. What a shame.

I’m thinking to myself, what am I afraid of? Someone laughing at what I have to say like that straight girl I had a mild crush on did? I still have a screenshot from a friend on the joke app telling me I was “not a failure and you shouldn’t hate yourself [...] You do realize youre like, the best writer on the entire app, right? I seriously dont think anyone else could write a story with as many characters, as many plots for each character but still have them all tie in [...] and make it all make sense and fit together at the end with a huge mystery and an amazing journey on the way[.]” And another rave review, “you are the only writer I read on here, you have a lot of potential and I can’t wait to see if you make a book for everyone to read and enjoy [...] I know you will achieve anything you set your mind to. you might only have a few people reading your stories, but these people that read are extraordinary, they see what I see, maybe even more than what I see. I see your greatness :D” Thank you to [Anna] and WolfReaper, respectively. This is my first time looking at those notes in years, but I saved them, deep in folders in my Google Drives. What a shame we don’t remember the compliments. Who cares if I flop? Who cares if I failed? Who cares if everyone laughs at me? At least I tried.

I’m so sick of not trying.

From 2016 ish to 2019, I wrote almost nothing. There wasn’t an exact reason for my slump, I just fell out of it? I was changing. I kinda sorta dropped out of high school. I finished my AA degree. In 2019 I did write 80 pages of backstory for a character, but I wasn’t in the same flow as my teenage self. I didn’t count it as writing. 2022 I said I was gonna officially try NaNoWriMo, reworking my first story into something good. It ended up being worse. (Well, maybe not as bad as the original, but definitely a close second). The story warped and changed at least three times while I was writing it. Characters do full 180s then 360s then 420s then 690s then fly off the X/Y axis into a different realm of spacetime, and so on. Also, I didn’t finish it until December 2023! But I like where it ended up, so let's pray draft 2 will be at least a little uniform. Still, I didn’t think of myself as being in the same flow.

2023 I started my masters (I feel like I’m giving a lot of my identity away with this). Working full time, I really didn’t have time to write, much less do anything else. No time for relationships, romantic or familial or friends. No time for self care. No time for anything. By the end of the year I would go home and stare at the empty blank white wall to decompress, and by the time I felt good and done I had to go back to work. I ended the year very low and started the next year even lower. But that one month gap between classes (Did I mention I did Spring, Summer, and Fall semesters with at most a ten day break between them?) revived something in me I really missed. In 2019, around the same time Abhidahlia was borne, I first got the idea a story somewhat inspired by Thor Ragnarok of all things. A black girl finds out she’s god, descended from god. (Little g is used purposely.) Eons ago the other gods went to war with each other and the main supreme HBIC god was fed up and left Heaven now the other ones don’t know what to do, so they turn to her. The idea isn’t the same as that anymore but it’s got some elements. I thought about that story here and there. I imagined it as a movie, then thought of it as a book. I drummed up characters names and details galore. I started writing a little here and there. I loved it. I didn't have much of a flow going, but I felt awake, like there was sun on my cheeks, like I was breathing fresh mountain top air. During my break, I wrote. I am a creative. I must write. I must tell my stories. My stories are my characters' stories. Abhidahlia is, in a way, a character. I am Abhidahlia. My characters are, in many many differing and conflicting complex ways, me. I must tell my stories. 

My next break between classes, I think I wrote some real gold. I wrote twelve pages that I think are the perfect first chapter. I’ve been writing more here and there, just to get the idea to finally be something more than a concept, something tangible, finally. I love it. 

What am I so afraid of? People not liking me? People already don’t like me. People thinking I’m stupid? My mother already calls me that! People thinking in general? People have always thought wrong.

I’m proud of what I write, what I make. I know it’s not the best. I love the idea that I will be the one to make it better. 

I have always been writing. I may not be sleep depriving myself like when I was a baby teen, but I am always constantly writing. Stories flow out of me. Creative convoluted solutions to simple problems given to friends as advice, mostly to make them laugh. Rewriting scenes of tv shows in my head of how I would’ve made it better. Getting inspired by a book and thinking of an idea for one of mine. A joke told as small talk to a stranger. Always always always I am writing. I love stories. Though this was nothing near my best, I hope you enjoyed this one.

I cannot promise I will upload often, but I am so sick of having all these ideas and nowhere to put them. I call my many Google Drives the archive(s). I want to finally show somebody, anybody, someone across the world who otherwise never would have interacted with me that I had something to say. Worry not of my identity. I do not wish to share that. Years ago on tumblr I saw something along the lines of “We were not meant to know what people’s faces looked like. We were meant to read the text and understand people’s ideas and minds and let that be what we know about the person.” If you must know, I’ll say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud. I may share more in the future, but for now I want my words to speak for themselves.

It is 3:54 as I finish this, but I am sure I will make plenty of edits before I create the account and begin to upload. Welcome to The Absurdist’s Archive. If I remember (and remember to not let the voice in my head stop me from posting) I’ll be sharing my nonfiction writings and poetry. What the heck, maybe some short fiction too. I leave you with an amalgamation of the many mottos I live by. Never forget to live laugh love in the face of absurdity. We’re all gonna die anyway.

[writer59january13]

Harriet Harris née Kuritsky...

Despite being a nineteen year old bride

she wed Boyce Brandon Harris half a decade her senior, (where I ranked less than a twinkle in their eyes)

during the month of June 1955, not quite half a century later ~ May 4th, 2005 death severed the pledge she did troth linkedin wifely role, cuz against her will she died

at most four weeks to be more exact golden wedding anniversary never witnessed raging against accursed grim reaper countenance succumbed into collective sorrow

life force forever absent snatched away, yet magically transformed into the breathing edenic idyll courtesy green thumb of eldest sister of mine once livingsocial mother of ours invoking trademark contagious l'chaim flickering aura, charisma, instant karma persona could not hide mommy dearest physically eclipsed after rigor mortis displayed deathly pallor bonafide grateful dead signed, sealed and delivered human cargo into crematorium.

Born November 13th,1935, the presence of long since deceased mother her absence acutely recounted on said date, no matter familial relationship between us, who begat yours truly (me) fraught with antipathy,

especially when writer of these words felt he long overstayed his welcome as I racked up living with parents

while being a long haired pencil neck baby boomer geek experiencing dating women for the first time courtesy thursday night contra dance.

Books ravenously digested and female protagonists he brood as an illusory substitute for this dude whose retreat into his bedroom kindled like tinder unidirectional family feud and donned Samson guise as a protective hood,

whereby Beatle browed, foo fighting literate philodophical thinker envied groovy hippies of the late nineteen sixties riffing lyrics of fab four fabled melody of Hey Jude,

where testosterone laden fantasies triggered whet dreams housed lewd

seminal urges pestering spouse, who offtimes rarely in the mood

for a quickie with the dickie. Mein kampf as a thirty plus year old groom test teasing prophylactics embarrassing purchase never made at local drugstore unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably... birth control taboo subject, best to ignore

subsequently intercourse awkwardly coordinated, consummated, completed extempore synonymous with phallic fulfillment gonadal hormonal secretion on par with the mythic sheet with a hole through which prude and archaic as modus operandi methodology maternal grandparents supposedly copulated, hence bun in the oven between self and future missus Matthew Harris wrought premarital sex bon jure. I trot out essential tidbits of poem acknowledging birthday of dear ole mom, who succumbed to deadly terminal illness, she lost lease on life, and met her demise sooner than indomitable will clamored to live approximately nineteen and a half years ago from May 2024, who frequently asked me, but never received acknowledgement during her livingsocial years did abjure (as the sole son) communicating HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Impossible aery mission to pinpoint when advent of zygote triggering miraculous bitta bing bitta bang, whence deoxyribonucleic acid wrote legacy of mortal maternal demise only a hunch backed up that mystery to unleash feral fiendish fornication once smote yielded unicellular spore

while in utero ~ early/mid

February I ain't exactly sure nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor Harriet Harris, fourth, last born (interesting enough shared same birthdate with eldest sister twelve years her senior) fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore

by stork, became favorite progeny begat courtesy Morris, and then swore celibacy forever more Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore

harbored inchoate genetic fore boded, encoded, inscribed deadly mutations housed, fetched, dispatched and bore flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched

affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality orbitz equaling about six months shy of three and a half score unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly, her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush sounded death knell

Harriet clocked approximately six months shy of being a septuagenarian

orbitz around the sun, she underwent grueling radiation plus chemotherapy

carcinoma eradicated allowed, enabled, provided breathing spell

reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...

newfound zealous zest almost nothing could quell significance pray tell

new lease on life to sell lib berate cherish, relish, whish each precious moment thwarting pell mell

adversity with bon vivant elan and gusto to issue rebel yell

kickstarting, making breast livingsocial aye bell,

especially after despite... er... well her double mastectomy,

she looked fabulously swell

courtesy silicon implants

slight downside reconstituted racked busty bosom

susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale

diagnosis, viz ovarian,

despite requisite hysterectomy emotionally did impale,

she instinctually, intuitively,

invariably, yet quiver and quail

against impending demise 24/7 did assail

guardian angel(s) of no avail,

nor did yours truly proffer nurturance

resentment smoldering within this male

red hot poker anger lambasting me

peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,

never got resolved ensuing estrangement

deterred reaching out to embrace,

hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,

miserably tethered with tubes

when she did severely pine ail

and grievously bewail

corporeal essence ashen pale

awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood

formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother to Elysian fielded dale.

[poetofthesword]

VOL II: Entry One [Deserving Melancholoy]

I've been in love with the same boy for two years now. At least I think I have. Our Anniversary is at the end of the month, yet, rather than feel a overturn of splendor for a man who I would rather call a boy - but dare never to admit such to his face - I feel tense and dim. Do I still love him? Have I ever loved him? Or has this episodic romance of my youth arrived at its end, bitter and tasteless. It stings, freezing, and unyelding to everything I have told myself to girl friends over the years.

"I would never stay in a relationship if I ever second guessed it"

"I date to marry. I don't mess around with a relationship"

"If I'm not feeling it, it's over"

How naive I was. Or is it my present self that is the naive one? I hold on to his heart hoping and pleading with the universe that all will sort itself out in the end. I will get better. Then we will get better. I need to figure this out for I cannot imagine a more understanding mind that is as gentle with my wretched soul. No one loves me like he does. No one will ever love me like he does. No one laughs like he does. No one will make me laugh like he does. No one smiles, or talks, or sings or fucks like he does. And no one will do such to me either.

I know it in my heart and soul that this is good. Great even. Still, a voice - the one that has not quieted since the sky turned grey and the firs brisk wind of the season hit - looms over me, whispering seductively of more.

Angels and Devils fight on my shoulders. Heart and Mind. Emotion and Logic. I am in a constant uphill battle with myself. Yet, I stand to myself true in the belief that this is what marriage becomes. Perhaps, we have skipped the awkward niceties and went directly to the part where we are beyond comfort with one another.

Perhaps this is true Love after all?

[joextonyxfam-13]

Not to sound like that kpop Sm group fan but.....Sm really had some TOP female groups under them. SNSD, f(x), and RV are three very unique and different groups who produced high quality music that gave them their own identity in a cluster of groups in the market. It's hard to stand out when there's so many teams on the playing field RV manages to do still and NO one has yet to touch SNSD & f(x)'s artistry/sound despite no new group music in years. Then breaking them down to individual members, they had some of THE most talented girls in the game. Like can yall just imagine the pure greatness we lost out on just because these girls weren't managed properly or didn't have their creative ambitions support by SM like they do their male counterparts. That's the damn truth. It's so frustrating whenever I think about it and f(x)'s end was just another reminder of it.

[skeleton-orb]

i. hm.