#fine yesterday! bad today
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Why do my stomach issues happen completely at random? I'm so tired
#had the SAME BREAKFAST I had yesterday#bagel and cream cheese#and my stomach absolutely died#fine yesterday! bad today#why
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oaugh kitties
#mine#original#my sketchbooks r full of odd cats and bad figure drawing#as life should b#i had an entire breakdown yesterday but now i feel fine !!#bought sm snacks today....am going to practice knitting#i am . not good. but i am having fun
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Sorry ive been so inactive recently, I have a life that I needed to get back to for a bit! I am returning with a new hyperfixation (i am seven years late)
I drew me and my friend’s favorite characters in a silly artstyle!! We are going through the game together and we are almost done with Chapter Four (i am so scared) (ignore how tiny Rantaro’s head is) (i rant in the tags beware)
#Me and my buddies favs are Rantaro (mine) Shuichi Kokichi and Kaito#Maki is there to finish the trio and Angie is there because I love her#No spoilers past chapter 5 please!!#Why does Kaitos hair look like that /gen /pos#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#maki harukawa#kokichi ouma#rantaro amami#angie yonaga#drv3#drv3 killing harmony#I also gave Rantaro sandals because he deserves them 💙 gone too soon#If you see style inconsistency its because i drew kokichi and co today and the other three yesterday lol#Question why does every fem character have a skirt#Giving Tenko and Himiko pants asap it works fine with the rest of their outfits but i did give Maki leggings too#Miu is so freaky why did they write her like that (we couldnt read half of her lines without feeling utterly confused) /silly#i love Keebo sm im so scared bcs he hasnt died yet#Is it Keebo or Kiibo ive seen both#No comment on Kiyo but i feel like his story could have worked a bit better if the implications were more present#Poor guy but at the same time i dont really like him (justice for my girls Tenko and Angie)#I love Gonta sm i love his obsession with bugs he is so silly#WHY DOES SHUICHIS VOICE SOUND SO EMO IN THE ENGLISH VERSION#Dont get me wrong the va didnt do a bad job i just really like the Japanese version more it fits his vibe so much better#Rip Kaede your death scarred me bcs i had never consumed dr content before starting v3 as a joke#Tsumugi. My behated. THERE IS NO WAY SHE IS THAT BORING FOR NO REASON#Kirumi was gonna snap eventually lmao i would have too /j#Rip Ryoma your love hotel is so depressing#v3 spoilers
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my lovely gourami, mango
#july 2021 - november 2023. he died today#art#digital art#animal#fish#gourami#honey gourami#it wasn't a surprise bc i saw him declining during thanksgiving break but he waited until the day after i came back to college to go..#everything in the tank was fine and all other fish were thriving. i think it was old age/bad petco genetics that got him in the end#doesn't feel quite real since i saw him alive and swimming around yesterday. won't see my aquarium without him until next month#animal death /
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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I reallyyyy want to talk about how much fun it would be to jerk a really submissive Bucky off with a pair of soaked panties 🙈
I feel like submissive Bucky is so vocal too and I love that thought. He trusts you completely with his body and he's not ashamed to make as much noise as he wants to.
He knows what his little whines and moans do to you. You get off on his desperation and he absolutely knows it. You can't help but melt when he looks up at you from his knees, his eyes wide and expectant, whispering "please, mommy" when all he wants is permission to kiss from your ankle to your knee.
He's learned that being well mannered is the only way to get what he wants so you don't mind rewarding his good behaviour. His plump lips begin to trail eagerly from the ankle strap of your heel, up the side of your calf until he reaches the joint at your knee. Your fingers tangle in his hair, warning him not to go any further and the groan he elicits is heavenly.
"Please let me kiss you." He practically sounds like he's panting. Frustration has settled into his features, his eyes trained on the cherry red lace that shields your sex from his hungry gaze.
He knows you're already wet and he knows that if he's just able to kiss a little bit higher, your self control might waver enough that you'll allow him to lap up your arousal and that's really all he's dreaming of.
"You're so selfless, aren't you?" Your sarcasm isn't lost on him. He wants to taste you because he wants to taste you, not so much for your pleasure. "No, let's try something different."
You slip your panties down your legs but he's smart enough to know you aren't going to give him exactly what he wants.
You kneel down beside him, lining your hand with the slick lace before wrapping your fingers around his stiff cock that's been begging for attention for far too long now.
"O-oh my God." The first stroke of your hand makes him crumble. Despite being slick, the lace offers so much friction and he's far too sensitive for that.
Your hand pumps quickly, watching his face while he begins to slip. "Good boy, that's it. Take it. Fuck, you're so pretty, do you know that? You're doing so well for me."
" 's too much. Please. Don't stop." His head falls forwards onto your shoulder, groaning pathetically into the crook of your neck.
"Do you want to cum, sweetheart? Are you going to be a filthy slut and cum in my panties? Do you even realise how fucked up that is?" Your soft voice makes him melt up until your hand on his cock speeds up.
"Y-yes. Oh God yes, please let me cum." He didn't think it'd be this easy but when you give him permission, he knows to take the opportunity while he's getting it.
In just a few more minutes, his thighs are trembling as he shoots a thick load into the already saturated lace lining your hand. The release of each gush of his seed feels more euphoric than the last and he's whining pathetically, up until he's fucked himself empty into your fist.
"Good boy." You whisper, kissing his damp forehead while he catches his breath. "I'm so proud of you."
You unfold the lace, admiring just how much of his cum he's managed to splatter over just your underwear. "Now. I want you to put these on and wait in the bedroom."
#becca's thots#becca writes spice#sub!bucky#subby!bucky#I can't stop thinking about it#I was going to write a longer piece today#but then today became a chill day#bad week besties#my car wouldn't start yesterday morning#since the weather is better I've been walking more and now I never really drive my car#but dad jumped it for me and now it's fine#it also didn't work out with the house I was bidding on 😭#but it's fine#I just REALLY liked that one#I think I'm having an identity crisis rn#like new phase in my life#new job in less than a month#booked in with my optician for an eye test and inevitably new glasses#I'm booking in to change my hair again#and I put my favourite perfume on this past Thursday evening#I have always been obsessed with that perfume#I got it for starting my undergrad and I wore it almost every day#I save it now for special occasions bc I want to use the last of it for my masters graduation (bc I am a sentimental idiot)#but I put it on and I don't think I really like it?#I've been wearing the Tiffany and Co aftershave so much I think I don't want to smell like anything else#who even am I these days 😩
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feeling like shit post vaccination sucks so bad. what do you MEAN i feel sore and feverish from this shit
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AHAHAAHAHJAAJSBSMDJDNDKMXBWHXI???1??!?!!??
#WHEEZING#I CANT YALL IM DYING#YOU CAN DO MANY THINGS WITH THE BUTT-BOUNCE#omfg#im losing it. i am Losing it#pacman#pacman world 2#this would prime streaming material im talking to myself a lot as play but to do that id have to sit in chair and then id have to shower#and i dont wana ;u;#anyway i remembered that the flinstones bowling game exists yesterday#and found it today - it was on ps1 not on computer as i feared#so i found it!!!!#and remembered WAY more of the dialogue/sound queues than i thought i did-which was already a lot#i got all da pins (ง•̀_•́)ง#other than 2 in the final bonus stage cos oH MY GOD????#THE *CAMERA* THE *BULL* THE FUCKING *SNAKES* NOT WORKING TO GET YOU ONTO LEDGES LIKE THEYRE SPOSED TO HALF THE TIME#when i unlocked the first bonus and saw the map/title card screen i was like 'ohno...oh i remember being horrible at this..'#but then it wasnt that bad#cos i was thinking of yOU final bonus rounnd FUCK YOU#EUARGH#its fine im fine im chill im normal#also this is my post so i can ramble in the tags all i want ha#ive always been So so enamoured with old games#that load in chunks and have horrible misaligned textures that are a little blurry cos theyre scaled up#the bowling game is a Prime example of that cos the map is constantly moving forward lMAO so its like .. half a screen of map#and then just VOID that will eventually load in another chunk of half a map as it gets closer but always the Void#stupidass little seagulls too i love them#gop think drag queens are radicalizing us? no...no the capitalistic asshole boss in the flinstones bedrock bowling circa 2000 radicalized m#anyway pacman is FAR too fucking agile in this game its offputting#and the SLIDEY back and forth he does everywhere ooooh my lorde
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not me spiraling over a man
#helena rants#misadventures in dating#it’s probably nothing#he’s probably just busy but I didn’t get a good morning text today#which is fine because I didn’t send him one either (we’ve kind of been switching who says it)#he had a bad day yesterday so I didn’t want to be pushy and keep texting when it might be annoying#so I haven’t heard from him today#yet#I might text good morning tomorrow and see what happens#it’s just such a change from this past weekend and Monday
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one last thing. i'm furious for a number of reasons but also because i've been physically feeling like shit for the last couple of months and the fatigue and waking up with migraines has been really getting to me and then i sleep four hours if not less last night after being hooked to my screen since the polls closed and woke up feeling refreshed and without pain for the first time since like july. like really? today is the day that i'm going to feel good and energized?
#i did take my newish migraine med yesterday morning so maybe that's why but also i've taken it a few times and still felt Bad#yet my dr still thinks this is psychosomatic..... something tells me that my body and brain are having different experiences today#also i didn't even wear my arm brace last night and my elbow feels fine. WHAT is up#my posts#personal
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I suppose I can't help but revel in the privilege of not having to worry about my reputation or mental health because they're already ruined, nor I am wishing to accept the absurd terms required to restore them anyway
Like, always being in contact with people who want to say something against something but are too scared of backlash or anon harassment, and knowing that I could just take the weight of (completely justified) anger off their shoulders, because for ME hatred and attempts to hurt me are just arrows shot into a fire....? It feels helpful to turn being a cringefail looser that will never go anywhere into something useful, even if just for a few people!
At the same time, maybe there are periods where I am getting too heated? Like, just because I can say something without hurtful consequences doesn't mean I should? I don't understand whether I am too negative or barely negative, at least. I am not being negative on daily basis unlike some people :p, but when I am it goes HARD.
I am also kind of a.. coward for an "angry dog", I suppose. When I bark at something bigger than me, I can step away, like not responding to response for a TERF that I barked at or something. Because these require infinitely more research to tackle than analysis of a dumb videogame. Nothing like how I am with fandomry discourses or scolding a customer for being an AI bro or talking about ableism or whatever. I both wish this trait that I have finally grew stronger and allowed me to become a wolf and not just a dog, so I could say things against progressively more and more and more serious types of unfairness. With the same vigor, same intelligence, same.. frequency. At the same time, it all looks like those who do eventually just all go insane. They all just lose sight of their targets and either start to attack innocent, go rabid at even a suspicion of a threat or eat their own or all these things at once. So maybe being just a stupid angry dog is a blessing in its own way.
#personal#/vent#(ish)#just questioning the validity of always having to say something and whether I will grow to tackle more severe things#maybe I am fine just the way I am#well no one except val fantomette crow faree and jara thinks that probably fdshfdhds#but yeah some people are just only a few people's cup of tea#maybe being small is not so bad if the fate is to go insane#at the same time despite what happened to me I still sometimes wish I was better#like... on forefronts of being against everything bad. against the nature of humanity itself to think of it#I despise those people and feel pity at what they always become but at the same time I wish I could join them#and not stick to smaller issues in rare periods when I am not obnoxiously cynical#sorry I've been in a HORRIBLE mood yesterday and today I might need to kill some people in DS2 to feel better
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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what is UP everyone I just finished my very first one-shot fic EVER!!
#is my homework done NO#did I go to the studio today NO#but yesterday I got to bed 45 minutes earlier than I have been (oh glorious Sleep highly recommend) and today I was POSSESSED#with the spirit of Shigeo Kageyama's mother#I kid you not: I came up with this fanfic idea at 12:15 last night right as I drifted off to sleep#and I got up ate breakfast and banged this whole fanfic out in 4 hours. what HAPPENED to me man#me???? FINISHING a fic??? in ONE GO????#MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK (APPARENTLY)#my homework will be fine btw#I am using the remaining time in my day (since I'm not going to the studio... sigh... I do feel bad about that actually)#to Clean My Room and get up to speed on my russian fairy tales class#nothing is due tonight anyway and having a clean room will put me in a better headspace to do more schoolwork next week!#MP100 happened to me...... Category 7 MP100 Moment
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all of a sudden today everything has kind of just gone silent in my corner of the internet and my friends aren’t on their phones anymore and now im alone
#i am better than i was yesterday but im still just feeling so heavy and bad and like i can’t do anything but think about this#this is gonna stick with me for a long time but i hope by tomorrow i can start moving forward a little more#everything is just quiet now and i have to deal with the very real fact that this happened and nothing can be changed#its a new reality now and im having trouble accepting it#but ill be fine#its just very quiet today as everyone processes this on their own#I know this isn’t true at all but now that it’s quieter i feel like everyone has already moved on and im the last one still in the trenches#that big sense of community we all felt the last two days has already fallen away at least in my corner of the internet#now its just normal… which hurts#anyway. i think ill watch this is us soon for some nostalgia and coping cause i need to grieve a little more#hope everyone is doing okay today#one direction#liam payne
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I swear to God if one more person tells me "Well you look fine" during a flare up or otherwise disabling moment I might just snap. What part of invisible illness doesn't register. Do you want me to show you my fucked up organs??? Do you wanna see em??? Is that what itll take for you to admit im not healthy???? Augh.
#i called oit yesterday but was able to walk arpund and be fine today and my coworker told me that i look3d fine implying i was lying yesterd#ay and it just really fuckin sent me tbh. like bro am i not allowed to have good days after bad days?? what??#having an invisible illness is impossible. if im displaying symptoms im faking it. if im not displaying symptoms then i was clearly lying.#if i go to work while sick then im clearly not actually in thay mich pain#if i call out then im just being lazy#etc etc etc#like i am seconds away from quitting of i get one more passive agressive comment abt not actually being sick#i literally threw up and collapsed from pain yesterday. just bc i can walk tpday doesnt mean im lying. fuck off.#aughghggh#bred.txt#vent#vent post#rant#young disabled#actually disabled#physically disabled#ableism#disability#cripple punk#cpunk
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naproxen sodium two days in a row 😭 I feel like I'm either going to spontaneously perish or my mother is going to hate me
#I had a headache after being at work all day yesterday and had AWFUL cramps today#I don't normally take stuff for cramps usually it isn't bad at all but it gets worse in summertime when it's hot out#literally triple checked my math like what if 5pm yesterday WASN'T more than 12 hours ago!!#like bestie (me) it's basic math you're fine#Lu rambles
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