#financial situation: changing bc of family issues

[baladric]

my main question is why does every single thing in my life have to be in a terrifying state of flux all at the same time, independently of each other

[badscientist]

oc profile tag

tagged by @noblebs so im giving betsy the spotlight today!

Name: elizabeth "betsy" winters.

Nickname: betsy. she was named by her mother, after her maternal great-grandmother, whose nickname was betsy.

Kind of Being: human

Age: as of 1998 when dead meat takes place, she is 44 years old. her birthdays october 31st. (because of course it is.)

Gender: woman. uses she/her exclusively.

Appearance: she's a mixed-race Black woman with light skin and red hair, 5'11", lots of freckles all over her face and body, stocky in build.

Occupation: cook. she's a nourisher above all else. but shes got a lot of survival know-how and outdoors experience so shes also recruited to the camps for that too.

Family Members: francine winters (mother), annie winters (kid).

Pets: if you count [spoiler], then sure. at least 1.

Best Friend: dr. herbert sanderson. debatably.

Describe their room: as of dead meat, shes more or less living out of her mothers living room, and keeps a lot of her clothes upstairs in her moms closet. betsy keeps the space tidy bc her moms house, her moms rules even as an adult. but at camp, she was a little more of an organized chaos type. shed have Designated Piles of things but she knew where to find everything and the floor was clean enough.

Way of speaking: very loose and casual, and shes got a southern accent (for that matter, so does dr. sanderson- they're both from the same town in virginia).

Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): she holds her head high, squares her shoulders. she does tend to slouch a bit when shes sitting though. she rubs her arms and neck a lot (nervous habit).

Items in their pocket/purse: shes always got cash, matches/lighter even though she doesnt smoke (you just never know when youll need it), and her bags usually stocked w food, flashlight, first aid supplies, change of clothes, etc.

Hobbies: while she cooks for fun, too, shes actually pretty into movies and tv watching. shed also engage in hands-on hobbies like whittling and knot-tying and woodworking if she had the chance, shes a hands-on learner and likes tactile experiences.

Favorite sports: (american) football and wrestling are entertaining to her, even if most of the latter is staged.

Abilities/Talents/Powers: physically strong. hardy. once that adrenaline starts going, shes fighting for her fucking life and shes very stubborn about it. shes also good at improvising when it comes to weaponry- if she doesnt have access to a gun, knife or her fists aren't an option, she'll find something to beat you with.

Relationships (how they are with other people): she can be stern when it comes to safety issues, but shes otherwise pretty relaxed and warm, but she has a morbid sense of humor. she can be a little awkward and easily embarrassed (compliments make her awkward, and she HATES when people go out of their way to make her feel stupid). shes a lot stiffer with her mom (theyve never gotten along particularly well), but she can still get the woman to laugh here and there.

Fears: stagnancy, being stuck in the past, feeling trapped. its part of why she felt so strongly about the ankhanum's plight in part 1; a real "theyre just like me fr" situation, and yknow what. she wasnt wrong.

Faults: her stubbornness sure can be a fault- once she gets an idea in her head about what she thinks is the Right Thing to do, she goes for it, and she wont stop til she gets it. this has resulted in a number of injuries and even death. she IS the unstoppable force.

Good points: shes knowledgeable, she knows how to have a good time, shes protective of her and hers, thinks well on her feet. as dedicated as she is to doing The Right Thing, shes merciful- she can be swayed, if you seem like youre having a change of heart.

What they want more than anything else: to live her life on her own terms, by her own rules. shes been in a lot of tough financial situations in the past that have warranted her relying on others- which is fine, but she hates it when those periods make life feel stagnant.

[teenietinytangerine]

I’ve got a fic I doubt I’ll ever write so let me unload my notes app here:

jane austen period drama setting

a is an adoptee/pupil to a Count who is known as a great music composer, regularly hosts parties and welcomes students in music to educate them over the summer at his home that is always full.

outside of a, also has four sons and a young daughter.

the count took A in because she is the daughter of his life long friend now dead in the war; mom was a working woman that fell ill while waiting for her secret husband.

When her mother died, A moved into the Count's residence, she was about 9.

A is a full sunshine to be around, social butterfly with a sneaky side, she has taken over the role of organizing and hosting the parties as the oldest "daughter”.

a is also a piano genius, she writes songs she sells to less talented, more man, would-be composers (did smn say overcompensing for daddy's approval? no one?)

her origins are known by all, the fact that the Count will always prioritize his own children over her in terms of dowry and inheritance, which keeps all suitors away but not boys with lesser intentions. a is the first one to redirect attentions of the men she finds suitable on her little sister.

b is a broke lord, from a family that cares for nothing but titles and got screwed over by a vengeful accountant (that honestly may have had a point). They managed to keep their financial situation a secret, putting all their hopes on their two sons to marry well before it is known.

b is the eldest, and is a moderatly renowned pianist as his parents kept sending him away to lords and masters (mostly to not have to pay for his upkeep). This is how he caught the eye of the Count and is invited to stay at his Manor to become his student.

during his stay, his family expects a lot, he will never be more in company of young rich ladies.

But, of course, he meets a.

though a bit coldly at first as her entrance disturbs his performance by how loud the children welcome her back.

b does not know about a's circumstances, he comes from too far away, and just assumes she is a bored daughter of a Count that took up music as another hobby.

a takes a lot of pleasure teasing the shit out of straight-arrow-no-funny-business b, quickly becoming their guide in this new fancy world, much like a cat plays with a prey, until the fake flirting became a bit too real, and their feelings menaces their status quo.

b: “I want to finally do one thing I truly want to do before i throw my will away and marry smart and that is to kiss you” a:"we can kiss ONCE but no more, you’ve got to marry well and that is not me”

a: “since we can’t seem to move on, and we’re both very free spirited, we should have sex to get it out of our systems and then forget it all about it” b: “since we can’t seem to move on, we should marry eo actually”

a:”I’m not marrying you bc we’re horny, ur not being reasonable which is very hard and annoying to me bc so far you have been the reasonable one, and I do not appreciate this position when I’m just as damn horny for u”

b:”this is way beyond being horny and ur being blind to how deep we’ve fallen bc ur so sure i'm gonna change my mind, I’m not just willing to give up an easier life for you, I would be miserable without you, therefore this is me being reasonable by telling you I want to marry you and if you keep saying we should just get it out of our systems, then i'm telling you we can’t have sex until we’re married”

a thousand teasings later and flirtatious attempts, a few existential crisis, and resignation over a's own feelings and trust issues*

a: “fine, I’ll marry ur sorry adorable ass.”

b: “that’s such great news, let’s have sex to celebrate!”

a: “nah, we might as well wait now, it’ll be more special *is absolutely taking revenge*”

[miffybnuy]

i probably will not be finishing this unless i get a random spirt of motivation in the future. for those who dont know, this is my newly designed homestuck (+humanstuck) au based off the movie parasite 2019 that i will NOT shut up abt. information abt the au under the cut (THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PARASITE)

mainly just going to talk abt the character choices just bc the au follows the same plot as the movie

the kim family (the set of main characters) includes karkat in place of the dad, terezi in place of the mom, vriska in place of the sister and sollux in place of the brother. none of them are related, its more of a tight knit friend group if anything

karkat: i chose karkat for this role as the dad due to the fact that he is known to be the "leader" in most situations, looking out for his friends and has their best interest in mind despite his anger issues and trouble showing it through words and otherwise. his love language is defending his friends at any cost

terezi: terezi in more independent although still looks out for the people she lives with, in this au i wanted her to be a bit more serious and more aggressive, labeling her as more morally grey. she believes the actions portrayed by the mom in the film as morally correct due to the fact that she sees it as a sort of way to get equal ground to those in the higher class. i thought this would be an interesting approach to the whole justice thing, personally. she wants whats best for her and her friends in a more financial state, considering the household of friends are in a state of poverty

vriska: i chose vriska for the role of the sister due to the fact the sister tends to be very easy to trick people for her own benefit, being able to twist lies to benefit her and her friends. she cares the least about the friends she has (although this doesnt mean she doesnt care for them at all), leading her to be more independent as well. vriska is more cold, and more snaky than the other people in the household

sollux: as the brother figure i thought sollux would be the best fit due to the fact that the brother in the film is more so concerned about the rich families daughter (who in this case is aradia. big surprise ik) who he wants to essentially get with. while his wants are a bit more selfish in this case, he figures he can try to make this a better thing for his group of friends rather than just himself considering the situation their household in being put in

the park family (the rich family) has more of a role that i couldnt really pinpoint character wise? some of these can be replaced with other characters, which also goes for the maid and her husband as well. i just chose these characters personally to fit my vision, others are allowed to modify them as you wish!

kanaya + rose: these are the parents, theyre both a married couple and the household is known as the lalonde-maryam residence. kanaya in this au is far more different than the wife from the family, while the wife was more clueless, kanaya is just more trusting. she suspects something is going on but doubts herself in the fact that she thinks shes doing the right thing for her family, ultimately believing the lies of the friend group household. rose is more skeptical as well, usually having kanaya be the one to tell her to not worry as much because kanaya thinks the extra help could benefit their family

the little boy and daughter are replaced with roxy (little boy (girl in this case)) and aradia due to the fact that there... wasnt really anything i could go off of since the characters in the film lack the screentime to really show character development or a major personality. these are essentially just fill in roles and can be changed in the future

the maid and her husband are nepeta and equius (bc i am soooo normal abt them /lie) (these characters can also be changed if wanted)

nepeta: as the maid, nepeta is very sweet and compliant, usually very caring of the family and values the job more than anything due to the fact of her and equius' living situation. she feels bad having to use the rich family for selfish reasons, but ultimately she has to do whats best for her and equius for them to survive and she doesnt want anything coming inbetween them or to take away what they fought to have in the first place

equius: as the husband, he has a sort of unspecified condition or illness that needs treatment and is unable to work and is mostly bedridden. the specifics are unknown as of now. the illness he has causes him to be more aloof although able to defend himself and nepeta. spending so much time in an isolated place also caused him to be more mentally unstable as a result, again, specifics are for the most part unknown

guh thats all i have for rn... i hope this is good just know im making my own shit up and these r not supposed to be lore accurate to the canon personalities they have in homestuck ok bye my hands hurt

[julietasgf]

Yeah well, my rant about Clemensia and the movie is Snow propaganda will have to wait because my head is empty, there's only Plinth family stuff

I'll start by saying that I also firmly believe that Suzanne probably has in her house a notebook filled with the background info of ALL the secondary characters of TBOSAS AND THG, she KNOWS it, she just decided not to share it, which I admire greatly, I couldn't keep my ocs info that way *shaking*

But until her says to us otherwise, I guess we are on our own, so because you ask me, lets began with the parallels between Ma Plinth and Katniss' mother.

So as far as we know Katniss' mother belonged to the merchant class, she was of a high social stratum in her district, but she descended socially to marry a miner from the Seam. She abandons her entire home, her past life to be with the man she fell in love with, a gentle man we are told, that likes to sing and who taught his eldest daughter to hunt and other skills necessary for her survival. This men sadly passes away, leaving Katniss mom alone with her daughters whom she cannot care for. And I think you'll agree that if you think about it the other way around, that's the same story as Ma Plinth.

It is possible that Vesta came from one of the slums of District 2, but she meets a man, with whom she falls in love, with ambitious, cold characteristics, not a friendly image but still devoted to him. The man ascends socially, and gets Vesta to leave her life behind, with all the sacrifices that implies to be by his side. Vesta betrays her district in favor of Strabo, and yet she ends up alone caring for her son, one whom her husband leaves almost completely helpless.

I have to concede to Strabo that he ultimately tried to teach Sejanus the way he knew how to survive in the Capitol (which as we see it is to be intimidating so you don't get screwed, prove you are lethal and have money to fix everything) but neither he nor Ma had the tools to deal with Baby Sejanus' trauma of being ripped from his own home, from everything he knew to be forcibly inserted into a society with incomprehensible rules. Especially Ma, the only one who could communicate with her son, did not know how to cope with her own trauma and depression (HER OWN 8-YEAR-OLD SON HAD TO CONSOLE HER).

Because another problem Sejanus faced is that he never received any truly useful guidance from any adult on how to exist in the Capitol. I think the closest thing he ever had to a guide was Coriolanus the snake (a guy too similar to his father, oh yeah let's bring daddy issues into the conversation), who he actually listens to most of the time on how to handle situations or certain feelings.

About what the other anon said: Why Ma didn't divorce Strabo if she only saw how he was hurting her son whom she clearly loved?, I think this is the material and logistical aspect of the situation that you explained well (With what money? Where would they go? ?, Who would receive them?, etc), there it is also the irrational and painful thing about she having loved Strabo and being dependent but here I establishing the most explicit parallel with Katniss's mother: Ma has a small corner decorated with things from D2, Ma says with her heartbroken that only one of her sisters speaks to her after the rebellion, Ma when she can't find Sejanus spends an entire afternoon looking for him on her own, Ma offers to rescue her own son from his own suicide mission.

It is a risky decision. Dangerous. And just as suicidal.

Vesta was depressed and had unresolved trauma. She has the financial stability that Katniss' mother didn't have, so she can be more functional and take care of Sejanus as much as she can but she can't do more. She can't change anything.

But enough of sad things.

Well. Once before I end to write, bc you know HOW MUCH IT EXCITES ME THAT THE IDEA OF DURING THE FIRST QUARTER QUELL D2 CHOICE A PLINTH RELATED ALSO STAY IN YOUR HEAD??!?!? BECAUSE I CONSIDERED THAT IDEA FOR A FIC ONCE A LONG AGO AND I THINK SO MUCH ABOUT IT EVERY DAY AND MY GOD YOUR TAKES ON THAT. They gave me chills!!!

18 YEARS THE TRIBUTE. They were so close to being free and comes to pursue them the sins of a man they even didnt knew. Painfully perfect <3

If you make a Sejarcus playlist by Mitski, I need for my life that you give it to me and by the way. Can I contribute to the Plinth Family soundtrack with songs by Marina with the incredible song of her called: Rootless?

About the latam AU GOD YES! TIGRIS AND CORYO INTEPRETING THE DIVINAS IN FRONT OF THEIR GRANDMOTHER IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING, I love the uruguayans too, <3, they are great and very kind (at least the ones I have met) SO that Tigris is uruguaya now is canon, AND LUCY GRAY AS COLOMBIAN WAS ANOTHER ONE OF MY CHOICES, LET'S GIVE HER THE PAISAAA ACCENT (although being Venezuelan also fits her so well, and yes please her with Boricua Sejanus cursing usa, is what I need, and that both of them together make Coriolanus Arg change for the better by making fun of him and his vast knowledge in children and adult telenovelas. PD: SOMEONE DONT SHOW HIM TERESA). ITS SO TRUE, the Latin American need to made ur fav of your country (I need Sejanus putting up an altar of the Muertos for Marcus, ah, who said that?) But I had homework to do, sadly, so this one is a short answer about our headcanons and so. Before I leave: 1. ANTES DE QUE NOS OLVIDEN IT IS SO D11 CODED MY DEAR LORD. 2. I wouldn't say that I see this song in a particular character, but since we are talking about mothers and complicated relationships between their children, I leave one of my favorite songs related to the subject in Spanish because I have decided to enter into a crusade against songs in English /j Azul- Natalia Lafourcade

save me plinth family.... plinth family save me... (not, but fr, I would love to hear your thoughts regarding this because it's so sad what the movie did to clemensia, the scenes with the snakes are clearly to make snow seem a much better person, when in the book she was just a kid grieving her classmate who just died :(

HELPPP ngl she's so real for that, I couldn't spend two seconds without talking EVERYTHING i planned for an OC that appears for a single minute kskskslskl but at least it gives us space to a lot of hcs and theories (she's also so real for not telling us anything about or theories or thoughts, she lets the fandom overthink and go insane alone).

mate, let me tell you: your brain!!!! YOUR BRAIN!!!! because I haven't to stop about it before, but OH MY GOD. they're almost like a reverse mirror of each other when you stop to think about it, even with the way they chose to cope with the pain, one being devoted to their kid and the other almost abandoning them completely (and both ending with a dead child.... I'm sick to my stomach)

mrs. everdeen has such a tragic story; ofc she was wrong for leaving katniss to basically raise prim by herself, but it's such a depressing and traumatic situation, I'm not sure what I would do myself in that position because it seems horrifying. now, regarding ma plinth, I think people really underestimate how fucking TRAUMATIC her situation is. she just left her home being despised and then gets into another place being equally despised, if not even more. moving countries (I know the districts are in the same country as panem, but I'm assuming the culture is so different that it has the same impact) is traumatic by itself; it's getting inserted into another culture, another reality, dealing with the change, with the new food and routine and even the water's taste is different, and dealing with violent and constant xenophobia. when you move, you're usually conscious of this, and that's why it's important to have a support network because this is going to be hard. now, ma didn't even want to move in first place, as it seems. she seemed to move to the capitol pretty much against her will. when you go by your free will, it's already hard... imagine being almost forced to do it??? and to this, add to the equation a child, who's going through the same traumatic experience as her, who she's responsible for.

(the scene where she says that baby sejanus tried to comfort her, tried to say that it would be okay, BREAKS MY HEART :((( because ma seems so devoted to him, how disturbed she was to the point HE had to comfort her???? a child had to act like a grown up and tell his own ma that everything was going to be okay???)

((plus, a bit non-related, but when "mama's boy" by dominik fike was a hit on tiktok, I remember a post that really marked me. the person said that there's a big difference between a mommy's boy and a mama's boy, and the difference is that a mama's boy went through very traumatic experiences with their mama and that's why they're so close, it's a bond forged in pain, and that sums pretty much my thoughts regarding sejanus' bond with his ma))

sejanus had two adults in his life: one was his father, the same one that took him away from home, the same one his relationship with is pretty strained. the other one is ma. the same ma that loves him so much, but is as hurt as him, and doesn't seem to be able to fit in the capitol either. no wonder he got close to coriolanus (daddy issues go brrrrrr sejanus, go to therapy, please, you can't replace the guiding role you wish of your father with a guy that's exactly like him, if not even MORE dangerous than him)

YOU!!! ARE!!!! SO!!!! ON!!! POINT!!! and I'm going to be honest, I didn't even had made that connect, I'm flabbergasted because OH MY GOD (not only the bad tast in men being generational, but the depression as well, pls). there's a line strabo says when talking with coriolanus after sejanus' death where he says that now, ma plinth needs something to live for. ma was willing to DIE for her son. because without him, what would she live for? she doesn't have anything else. not friends, not purpose, not even family anymore. it's just her and her boy, her boy and her, the only last living piece from her home. but it works much like a sedative; it makes the pain go away for a awhile, but the problem is still there. it doesn't really solve anything.

(now excuse me, I'm going to cry on a corner, I love ma plinth so much it hurts)

BROOOOOOO IF ONE DAY YOU WANT TO, I WOULD LOVE TO READ A FIC FROM YOU WITH THIS CONCEPT, BECAUSE IT'S. JUST. SO. GOOD!!!!! D2 being a district with a culture known to be proud, and resentful, and they never forgetting this surname because the enemy came from within. then the first quarter quell comes, and they get the chance to get revenge, for their sisters, brothers, daughters, sons who were killed by guns bearing the surname plinth. even if it's not fair, even if it's just symbolic. THE PAIN UGHHHH

ONE DAY I'LL MAKE THAT PLAYLIST, I SWEAR, it's just that mitski has so many songs that are just SO them- i will??? francis forever?? TWO SLOW DANCERS??? and SPECIALLY star. it makes me want to scream cry throw up. literally them.

(also, your best american girl is pretty much snowjanus; your mother wouldn't approve how my mother raised me!!!)

the plinths are already so marina coded, but THEY ARE LITERALLY THIS SONG????? not belonging to anywhere anymore, too district to be capitol, too capitol to be district, not able to get accepted in neither, foreigners to both. NO HOME SWEET AND NO SWEET HOME.

KSKSKSKS tigris even making coryo dress up just to perform in front of their ma (ofc she took a pic of it, and ofc she showed sejanus and lgb when she met them bc tigris keeps this pic on her phone bc of how funny it is 😭) LUCY GRAY HAVING A PAISA ACCENT OMGGGGGG girl would sound even MORE charming than she already does, now I'm thorn but it's just. colombian lucy gray. COLOMBIAN LUCY GRAY!! sejanus and lucy gray would be such a fun duo, both of them #1 enemies of that place (him even more, sejanus growing up and getting even more mad that he can travel to all the states bc his passport has the stupid eagle, but he can't even VOTE, and lucy gray hearing him vent and being "that's so right mate, get their ass" while drinking on her coffee) THEY WOULD MAKE SO MUCH FUN OF HIM probably either bc tigris showed them the pic or bc they caught coriolanus gossiping online with old aunts on facebook under a fake account about this day's chapter. PLSSSS IF HE SAW TERESA IT WOULD GIVE HIM IDEAS, IT'S BETTER LEAVE HIM AWAY FROM IT (non-related, but coriolanus would be such a girly pop regarding the villains in general, he would see a pretty woman getting rid of their niece and be like "so what? at least she looks good doing it! good for her!")

(non-related again, but also, ma during parties putting baby sejanus to sleep on two plastic chairs <33)

bro. BRO. WHYYYYY I'M SO HEARTBROKEN NOW 😭 (even after sejanus is dead, ma keeps putting up an altar to marcus because she knew how important it was for sejanus, and she puts it next to the one she puts to sejanus so they can be close)

good luck with your homework!!! :D

D11 is such an interesting district, these guys are always so important and in the frontline of things, the lyrics fits them so perfectly during both the games (and I wish he could know more about their role on their rebellion, because I'M SO SURE they were so important)!!! PLSSS and I'm with you on that, enough of english-speaking songs ☝️ I LOVE NATALIA LAFOURCADE SM AND I LOVE THAT SONG, I know you said you didn't think about a specific character but all I could think about while listening to it was ma plinth, I'm hearbroken rn omg 😭

[darkcrowprincess]

even tho i feel conflicted lol i do agree w u ab nora and george. honestly the episode that makes me think that the most is the episode where nora tries to be a SAHM. ik it was played for laughs like "oh he's just lazy and loved the lunches she was making" but derek was REALLY happy that she was home all the time and I don't think he'd ever admit it but I do think he really actually just did love having an active/participant?? mom (bc I dont think abby was ever that for them I mean she doesn't even have partial custody????). not saying she should have quit her job and dropped everything bc that probably wasn't even possible financially honestly and I dont think they're like, bad PEOPLE, but there has to be a better way to handle this...... idk real life is complicated and we can't always be what we want to be and I have no idea what I would even do in their position and ur right when you say they're not the WORST, but still. I really don't know lol this is why I'm kind of conflicted but anyway yeah sorry for all this I just wanted to say I agree 😅

Oh I agree. Life is messy and you can't control everything. I'd get it for Abby and George if Derek and Edwin were planned and Marti was an accident. But if they all were planned. Heres the thing I'm not saying that you can't have kids and a career. However, having kids is a commitment. It stops being about you. Kids come first because anything you do or don't do affects them(For the Venturi family you times that by 3). You choose to bring up and rase this person. So if you have kids and a full time big career you need to be smart about it. Three kids with full time big careers is a lot. Especially if the timing and age of said kids are taken into an account(managing would be more easier if said kids were all closer in age and or older), derek was headed into being a young teen. Edwin is heading into middles schooler and baby marit. It's not surprising that Abby and George got a divorce. If they willingly had three kids with full time careers, than it tells a lot about who they are as people. If I had to guess if marti was planned, she was probably a lets try to salvage a our marriage with another baby baby. Of course didn't work. I also have to guess Abby was the one who worked a lot. And considering the time period( late 90s early 2000s). That is probably what started a lot of fights. My guess is George and Abby divorced because they both worked too much. Casey's parents (different situation but still problem because Casey and Lizzie are not close in age), probably because Dennis worked too much and Nora didn't see him a lot and or the kids if (I had to guess Lizzie is an accident baby). So when she isn't working she and Casey are probably doing a lot of the heavy lifting. During and after the divorce probably a lot was put on Casey and Derek to take care of their siblings considering no matter how Casey and Derek act towards their siblings they still 100% adore them. It's not ideal but as separate situations it could have been manageable( the situation probably would have been better if George and Nora stayed single or met and dated other people who didn't have a family and didn't mind that they did. But obviously not realistic). Nora and George in their infinite wisdom in four months( it would have been more understandable if they dated for at least a year) decided to get married and blend their families. Two teenagers, two kids in a middle school range, and a 5 year old. 5 kids with two adults with jobs. That means in the course of four months they quickly dated, liked each other, "fell in love" and got married. Lots of changes over the course of four months and after. So it's not surprising Derek and Casey have issues. Life is messing of course. But as the adults Nora and George should have done better. Especially since they both divorced parents. But again we are shown that they are oblivious and if I had to guess don't think things through. Which makes them emotionally neglecteful and or careless. Your right they are not bad people. But that doesn't make it ok( not saying you did. I'm rambling) Love your comment to me. I love rambling and the life with derek situation just makes me think.

[mental-health-advice]

Hello, I’m a high school student and I’ve noticed that things in my friend group have been tense lately. Whenever I say something, I’m sometimes ignored or no one will respond and there will be just silence. It’s been getting worse lately and I’ve been trying to find new topics of conversation but it doesn’t really work. Out of anxiety, I went through previous pictures of myself with my friends and have found that there is one particular person in my group who always looks uncomfortable around me but covers it up very well. This person (Lets call her T) has been friends with me for almost 2 years now. I’ve looked back on conversations with them and it’s always hard to talk them. Some key things that have happened over the last couple of months have lead me to suspect that they are a definite part of the reason as to why my friends are distancing themselves from me. I want to know if I should continue to make it up with T, build better and stronger relationships with my other friends in that group and find the core issue that’s leading to this tense atmosphere, or give up and find new friends. My family has been struggling with money this year due to COVID and to lessen the weight, Ive been thinking of whether or not I should change schools to go somewhere cheaper and make new friends. Please keep in mind that generally my friends and I have known each other for 5+ years now. I find myself attached to them but also wonder if I should let them go. They aren’t saying anything outright or being mean but they’re distancing themselves. Maybe 1 or 2 people aren’t doing so and are staying by me but I know that T has definitely said something. My relationship with T has been going down a steady decline and I don’t think it’s salvageable, but I also know that she has a strong grip on my other friends. Due to current issues with myself, I have found it difficult to connect with my friends further bc of this anxiety I feel. I’ve always been good friends with everyone in my group but they’ve always been closer with each other bc being so close to them is exhausting for me and I get really emotionally tired. I feel like I could lessen my family‘s financial burden and make new friends (but it’s really difficult for me, I’ve known these people for years) OR try to make up with them, find the issue in the group, and find a way to fix it. I think you should also keep in mind that it’s currently holidays for me and I have 6 weeks until I go back to school - I’ll be starting year 11 next year so this is really important for me. Or maybe I’m not looking at all the other options and should be thinking more outside the box. Maybe I should talk to one of my closer friends about it and tell them how I feel? Please also keep in mind that I really don’t want to talk to my family about this. I’m really sorry for how long this is. I’m just really panicking.

Hey there,

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this and especially with T. I know you probably already know this but sometimes friends may ‘outgrow’ each other or begin to go in different directions. I am not in any way suggesting that this is what is happening in this current situation but it may be something to keep in mind.

It doesn’t sound as though you have done anything to T that would result in her or your other friends being so tense when you are around them. If it was just one person who was distancing themselves from you then I’d suggest it may be because they were going through something personal that may be taking up more of their time than usual or that they had something else going on that may not even have anything to do with you. But given the fact that it’s your whole friend group makes me feel as though something else may be going on.

For example, you mentioned that you have known your friends for 5+ years and T only for 2 years, is it possible that T may be feeling jealous of you and the number of extra years you have had your other friends for? It definitely seems to me that T is the more dominant person in the friend group and as you mentioned it definitely sounds as though she has a strong grip on what happens within the group. It’s so good to hear though that at least 2 friends are sticking by your side!

It can be so difficult when things like this happens within a friend group and especially with other stressors like with covid and knowing that your parents are struggling financially also and so of course you wanting to lessen the load if at all possible and this speaks really big of yourself!

I can’t tell you what to do and so obviously I cannot tell you if you should keep with your current friend group and try and improve the situation or to change schools and start over, but sometimes when I have a tough choice to make, I find that writing a pro’s con’s list can be helpful. Even this can make things confusing though so what do you feel is best for you to do right now, keeping in mind that you have the right to be happy and feel good about whatever you do decide to do.

For example, if you stay with how things as they are, what things can you do to try and improve the situation? Perhaps you could speak to those 2 friends who are sticking by you and ask for their advice, or confront T and have a quiet chat with her in regards to how you are personally feeing about everything.

If you were to change schools, how would this make you feel starting fresh but not knowing anyone to begin with? How would you make new friends, would it make you more anxious when it comes to making new friends or would you be OK with doing this? And remember that if you do choose to change schools, you do not have to lose contact with your friends completely and especially with those 2 who are sticking by you.

These are just some things to consider!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[zzencat]

Hi Tedster👋🏻 I would like to get mini readings from you. U mentioned its okay to ask 3 questions so here are my 3 questions. My question is, will I get to attend a college within the rest of this year 2024? If so, will I make good friends there? My education path has been stuck for a while due to financial and family issues but I rlly want to continue my education so I am worried and also curious. Also, what will my future job be like? Tbh, I am just worried for my future bc there is nth going on rn and I've been stuck in the same place for years so I rlly want to get out of here and see good changes. But feel free to tell me anything that comes up, good or bad. Thank you. My initials are AM, sun sign ♊, emoji tht represents me ☕

Helllooooo AM and thank you for joining us for the game today!!!!! alrighty let’s get started :)

Will you get to attend a college within the rest of this year, 2024? if so, will you make good friends there?

ok fam, i will say that the stagnancy is reallllllly strong and prob has been for a…quite a while. it’s gonna be a struggle to fight against…idk if there’s a feminine energy that’s negatively impacting the situation or adding unnecessary force to it. there’s a feeling of being trapped and suffocating, a need to breathe after swimming towards the surface. for the financial situation, it’s slow but getting there. there have been obvious delays. you’re going to have to make some uncomfortable decisions, the fight to your way out.

there’ve been hella misunderstandings in the past, unnecessary pressure and stress, and perhaps fighting to defend yourself, with the result of feeling alone and misjudged, when you really should be getting the opposite. but you have good judgment AM! plan things out in a methodical manner, be clear when it comes to communicating what you want and how you plan to move forward, with or without support. be diplomatic and continue to carry a level head. communication is difficult, especially when trying to initiate, but it has to be done. use the logic that you’ve honed for yourself, not by family but through the self, over the years and it will take you where you need to be. good luck to you AM!

regarding making friends, it’s going to be hard, maybe lonely and following you around with a lingering sense of anxiety, but you’re pretty much ready to take it on! I’ll say this first: ignore anyone who doesn’t serve your highest good. if you have a bad vibe, dip. gone. bye. no need for further contact. shrug it off like a bug. on the other hand, you will meet people from different cultures, all over the world, different perspectives and philosophies, and people who are mature as hell. they could even be older than you, have had more experience in life, or just slightly older, including those who are close in age but share high maturity levels. you’re going to be exposed to a lot AM, be prepped!

What will your future job be like?

you’re going to be talking to people and maybe moving to a foreign land, country, new state/town/etc. it’s a job that requires you to steadily build yourself along the way, so when you look back, you’ll see all the progress you’ve made. during this time however, you’ll be reminiscing or finally properly processing your trauma and it’s gonna hit you like WHAM!! like life is good and steady and stable, but there’s still some deep sadness or unresolved feelings to be looked at regarding the past, especially old family wounds. HOWEVER, you will simultaneously work to become a communication GOD!! you’re going to speak your truth confidently and comfortably; it’ll come easy to you. you’re going to put those ideas to work, build and expand on them with other people. just make sure you do speak up and fight any fear of sharing your story. you’ll earn a lot of close connections and people who appreciate you as you open up :)

that’s it AM!! thank you for taking the time to send your ask in and having the patience to gain some answers. ya got this in the bag fam. good luck to you!

[muddiestpath]

Vent about the last post (my health, not about OP)

I remember being so ill from that random stomach bug that I saw everything the same value & could recognise shapes. I barely kept down water & these nairn's fruit/out biscuits(gluten-free bc I'm also coeliac).

My room used to be next to the living room & I could hear my family laugh at the tv as I stared at the picture on my wall, thinking I was dying. I couldn't speak to ask for help. If I messaged on my phone, it'd not be seen or be met with "in a minute" responses that 60٪ would be forgotten.

It took them 3 months to take me to the Dr.

I remember once I started being able to walk to the living room, my mum (in perhaps her attempt of being positive or cheering me up) said how much slimmer I was. I had lost my muscle mass & only ate the above single pack of 4 biscuits in a day.

That was the moment I lost faith in her. The nail in the coffin of my trust in her. She was doing what most ppl do when they see an ill relative: find something to compliment. But after the year I had been through of complete isolation, where she forgot me on the otherside of that living room wall. All she saw was I was thinner & that was positive to her.

Sorry, didn't mean to zero in on my mum. They all did similar things, she just was more often overpromising support.

Now is better. I'm in a bigger room in the attic with my own bathroom & space for my rabbit to run around. I can walk around the house & garden. I can eat 2 meals some days. I am larger than I was before. Still get motion sick near instantly at shakey cameras/first person perspective games & barely manage 10min car ride. Still don't wear my glasses bc my prescription keeps changing & glasses make me nauseous (as you can imagine I now am deathly afraid of nausea & am on situational anxiety/antinausea meds). I'm short-sighted with astigmatism, not too bad most days but sometimes I get a bloodshot eye or eyestrain, I know it's not healthy but being told I have to power through the nausea to readjust to glasses... isn't going to happen.

I'm on financial support but it's not built for chronic conditions & I don't have the energy(haha) to fight the gov to pass the long promised system reform for disability aid. This support also means I am legally unable to earn any money unless I cancel my support all together. We were promised in 2018 a new disability category for cfs/me & long covid that would allow me to work when I am able. It is now buried as a "rolling issue".

I'm trying every day to do the stretches & exercises to build muscle strength back. But CFS/ME has no treatment or cure, so again it's a "tough it out" situation where most days I can't even do those stretches.

Recently a new Dr has me on thyroid supplements & I can only "hope" it helps.

But over everything. I am actually lonely! I've never felt this before. I'm a severe introvert, I have a tiny social battery. But now I'm years out of university, have about 5 ppl I talk to online even semi regularly, & I haven't seen anyone outside my family or medical professionals in those years.

I am now 30 & have no footing in meeting new people irl or online.

I want to have more friends. I want to experience what dating is like. But I have so little energy or social skills that it's it seems like I'm brushing them off. Added to the fact I'm asleep when everyone I know is online? It bites.

I want a new body with better hardware. This one is faulty. But I'm stuck in it & doing my best. Don't pity me. My family already does that.

[aapsychelpaso]

Understanding and Managing Stress: National Stress Awareness Week

National Stress Awareness Week, observed from November 1-7, is a dedicated time to understand, recognize, and manage stress. Stress, a universal experience, affects everyone differently. This week serves as a reminder of the importance of addressing stress for our overall well-being. What is Stress? Stress is the body's natural response to challenges or demands. It can arise from various situations or thoughts that make one feel frustrated, angry, or anxious. While short-term stress can be beneficial, chronic stress can lead to various health issues. For a deeper understanding, the World Health Organization offers insights into the nature of stress. Causes of Stress: - External Factors: Work pressures, relationship problems, financial difficulties, and major life changes. - Internal Factors: Pessimism, perfectionism, inability to accept uncertainty, and lack of flexibility. The Mind Organization provides a comprehensive look at the various causes of stress. Effects of Chronic Stress: - Physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. - Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. - Behavioral changes, including mood swings, irritability, and changes in eating or sleeping patterns. A study from the National Center for Biotechnology Information delves into the physiological effects of stress on the body. Managing Stress: Effective Strategies - Mindfulness and Meditation: Grounding exercises to stay present and focused. - Physical Activity: Regular exercise to release endorphins, the body's natural stress relievers. - Healthy Eating: Consuming a balanced diet to nourish the body and mind. - Limiting Stimulants: Reducing the intake of caffeine, nicotine, and sugar. - Prayer & Engaging in Spirituality: Prayer can contribute to feelings of tranquility by altering brain chemistry and structure among other important effects, reducing feelings of anxiety and stress. Read More - Seeking Support: Talking to someone, whether it's friends, family, or a professional. The Mental Health Foundation and the American Psychological Association offer resources and tips for managing stress. National Stress Awareness Week is a crucial reminder of the importance of understanding and managing stress. By recognizing the signs and implementing effective coping strategies, we can lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. At TMS El Paso, we're proud to have dedicated professionals like Alfredo H. Arellano, PMHCNS-BC, PA, and Eduardo Mariscal, PMHNP-BC, leading our team. Our entire team is committed to helping individuals manage the mental health challenges associated with stress, depression, anxiety, OCD, and more. Read the full article

[lonely-journal-keeper]

Today I was in therapy and realized that despite having been seeing my current therapist for 6 years, I had never gotten into the whole thing about my dad before.

So I did. I explained how when I was little, ages 6,7,8, my dad would refuse to take part in my therapy treatments and borderline sabotage them because he didn’t like or understand them. How he basically made my mom take full responsibility for my mental health shit (as well as my younger sibling who was a toddler) bc he didn’t want to be bothered by it. I told my therapist how the fact my dad was constantly working and unwilling to take part in my therapy stuff meant I rarely saw him or spent significant amounts of time with him. That meant I spent a lot of time with my mom, and the two of us built up a bit of resentment against him for his lack of involvement

I told my therapist how this resentment turned into disappointment and disillusionment from my mom, with her saying things about how she wishes my dad was different and better and how she was sorry that he wasn’t, as if it was her responsibility to apologize to me. How staring when I was maybe 11 years old I became my parents therapist for their relationship, with each of them coming to complain about me to the other. I told my therapist about how it was around that time that my mom started implying that she was considering divorcing my dad, making comment or bordering on asking if she should. I explained how multiple people have asked me how likely it is that my parents will get divorced after my sibling graduates - and I always say very likely.

I gave my therapist the background on my dads refusal to do anything to fix our relationship, his unwillingness to ever admit fault and his adamancy that what happened in the past should stay the in the past, and therefore doesn’t need to be discussed or dealt with in the present. How my dad gets jealous of my closeness to my mom but doesn’t do anything about it except be passive aggressive. That he doesn’t think he needs to engage in any form of self improvement or go to therapy despite everyone in my house telling him so for years. How he’s stubborn as a brick and either unwilling or unable to accept help.

I told my therapist how I’m so used to it at this point, how my dad works all the time so I don’t have to interact with him a ton anyway. How I don’t have any real desire to try and work on it with him because I know it won’t get me anywhere and in order to salvage a relationship you have to have had one to begin with. How he pays for all my stuff so I don’t want to risk losing that financial support. That honestly I feel bad for my mom, because she’s essentially trapped in this marriage since she’s disabled and can’t work and make money independent of him even if she wanted to.

And my therapist was surprised these details had never come up before. Even though the majority of it happened when I was too young to really understand the full implications of it and as I got older I started only mentioning and thinking about the big issues, like when he would say specific things and give me panic attacks or start arguments with my family for no reason. She asked me how I felt about the whole situation - to which I said it’s obviously not ideal but I don’t feel like it’s my fault, since the reasons for our disagreements are based in the actions that he took as a fully grown adult when I was a mentally ill child. I came to terms a long time ago with the fact that he’s not going to change his behavior and all I can really do is call him out on his bullshit as it occurs. If he wants to change things that’s on him. The proverbial ball has been on his court for nearly 20 years.

I guess I never really considered myself to have Daddy Issues until now. I mean I knew I had issues with my dad, but not capital D Daddy Issues. I suppose it explains at least in part my disdain for men in positions of power and why my family dynamic is the way it is.

[rottingsparrow]

Part 4! Of rereading Lore Olympus. Ep 31-40

Gotta be real I keep forgetting to post these even tho I'm reading them but it's fine. Obviously I won't finish before the end of the 2 week break (this Saturday) but after this I may start reviewing episodes as they come out, who knows. Last part:

Ep 31

Theres so many other reasons you shouldnt work together but ok

Also shes literally so smart right like thats canon

Artemis is cool hera,,,sometimes

Which two sons i wish i knew the lo family tree as opposed to the real one yknow

How do heras powers work she felt her pain but doesnt know who??

I would kill for a comprehensive list of family tree and powers, dont even have to spoil powers just please i get so confused

Ep 32

Train ur fuckin dogs hades i think ive said that before

He changed skin color again but like not just light vs dark thats a whole diff shade of blue

Hehe threaten low class workers so cute and quirky hades

Why is uh psyche/whatever her nymph name is wearing more traditional clothes while not in the mortal realm

Love the dog

Hades has a point, even tho it makes no sense for him to have said that

Ok also point out in the like future episode he wants persephone to call him Aidoneus but doesnt like when others do it why

Thats my same thing with him calling her Kore like i know in the future its like explained or whatever but idk

Aphrodite has a point it was a favor in a way

A dumb way but yknow

I remember everyone losing it over the “im only interested in the dead ones” panel but looking at it its so lame LMAO changed his entire face shape for a panel

Ep 33

HECATE HECATE WOOOO

Im but a simple man

Hades texts like an old man i know he is one but

Also i am dying to know how his business works including as the god of the underworld like. Give me something

Then again, maybe i am a lil dumb when it comes to this

I always thought he was giving the little elevator friend a sugarcube lmao

I like how minthes ears react to her emotions

Stop fighting at work omg this would be the worst place to work at

“Hey can u do ur job”

Ep 34

Why this subplot ugh

The crown floats yet is sideways after she hits him

Also haha hitting

Also their relationship does confuse me just a tad bit yknow

All the clues were there hades you dumbass

“Cancel all my meetings” DO YOUR JOB

“This doesnt affect you in the same way” cause hes a man or a king or both but also kings seemed to get treated the same by their subjects until they are dicks and excute their power

From what ive seen

Then again we havent seen poseidon do that but that brings me to the point of I wanna see poseidon realm

thats . so creepy hades ew

“Smth must be done about this” like fair legal action right?....right?

Who reads newspapers these days anyways wait a second

Ep 35

See the laptop having news makes more sense like sure we make newspapers but ppl dont use em as often

“Biochemistry Theory” fun fact I switched majors to specifically avoid taking chemistry

What are they typing he just started speaking

What type of nymph is thetis bc i know minthe is a river nymph but thetis has fancy ears

They are so mean to each other lmao

The financial situation and the fact that they both are like sleeping with the kings confuse me why do both of them do it.

Like retrospectively i understand it but when i first read it i was like “are nymphs supposed to be like hookers??” so i was lost for a bit

“Hades micromanages computer usage” oh what a shit boss

Also the meal ticket she has a job sure hades gave it to her but

Idk maybe im slow

What an awful way to do a heart shape i just tried it wtf

“Crying is for wives” damn

Yes body issues that dont get brought up again right? Like she all of a sudden gets bigger boobs and i dont think hades pays ppl enough for cosmetic surgery

You guys know this is a work setting

Has rachel ever had a job bc this feels like a comical trope seen on tv the workplace drama yknow

LMAO IN THE LAST PANEL RACHEL FORGOT TO GIVE HER NYMPH EARS

Like fully normal ears i know its a mistake but its funny

Ep 36

“Not my circus not my monkeys” queen

Hades is it not your circus how dont involve hecate in this

“Stop starin at me with them big ol eyes”

Oof that does not look good on you, i mean why didnt you give her the coat

“I thought you didnt get jealous” ok she may have said that but literally everything about her contradicts that

And i love this part bc he doesnt call her crazy and they talk, i mean he hides some of the truth which like fuck him, and then they try to talk about the party and

Ugh i know minthe is supposed to be an antagonist but rachel does this weird thing where she tries to flesh her out, then realizes it would be an easy set up for a redemption arc and screws her over again

I know the ppl in the mortal realm are generally frightened of hades but why are ppl in olympus

“I wouldnt expect anything less from a goddess” so we are going to bring in the racism/speciesism that occurs in this story right

Its the middle of the day isnt he supposed to be in the mortal realm moving the sun or some shit

Ep 37

“Last night” Rachel its ok to space things out sweetie

Ok ok so one thing i hate about her characterization of apollo is he goes from being delusional to knowing what he did was at least slightly wrong and i hate both are fine stories but pick one he either is so infatuated with persephone that he thinks that they had a great time or he wants her for her power

And! A transition from one to the other would be fine, but she goes back in forth in his characterization

Little red vines look cool

Hehe cerberus

How did he escape tho

I love that dog

Ep 38

Oh its the greenhouse again

But this time it represents the evil feeling?

Idk but i like eye symbolism im lame lol

Why was she sleeping in the chair

When did she get those clothes i dunno if eros would buy her business casual

Artemis really sees all the signs and then goes “meh”

Like points out the possible crush on persephone just connect the dots they are so close

Why is there not more than one door

Why is no one getting off

How does rachel think train stops work

Ep 39

Also not thatanos with an undercut lmao

Ope its thanatos i mixed it up

Also minthe you just actively arent doing a good job like lmao how are you not getting fired

Hades smoking a cigar is so old and gross tbh

What an awful boss

That man has a point dont stand infront of the door

She gave her a little flower nice

Minthe i know ur being spiteful, weird bc hades explained shes just the daughter of a friend( i know its a lie but still) but just do your job

“It says restricted access but that lady says it was fine” i would just wait until someone came out theres no reason to go inside

Ep 40

Why would they not have a lock on this place actually

Why wouldnt she just leave the way she came

When did hades put on his glasses

How is it hades fault what

So many questions yknow for such a short episode

Also does this place not have security cameras in places that are tartarus

[djxiao]

Where are the parents... probably supportive of it all because they do not understand the strains of the industry either. If a respected company like SM wants to sign your kid I suppose they feel honored and it's like so deceptive especially if you do not live in Seoul and can't afford to move your life there either so you only see your child little when they get granted leave or when you can afford to travel - and like if they successfully debut that means the financial situation of the family changes but also successful idols are usually so booked and busy for the first 3-5 years after debut that finding the time to actually go home and see their parents becomes the issue not affording the journey cross country // its all fucked up and i think the general public is a lot less aware of that than kpop fans who see what this has done to their idols

being a parent definitely isn’t easy and i can get wanting to support their kid and help them follow their dreams but i feel like it isn’t right to just chalk it up to ignorance either. yes some probably don’t know and i’m sure they trust a big company to take care of their child while they live away in another city. but i just can’t imagine that’s the case 100 percent of the time. also it’s becoming more and more common for idols to come from well off families think of the jung sisters for example, their family COULD afford to move to korea when jessica signed to sm. and i think they clearly were aware even then that the girls were way too young bc they didn’t let krystal sign at first but they eventually let her join at age 11 or so. then two years after jessica debuted and their parents had a chance to experience it all and hear from jessica, krystal still debuted at 14. the parents would have known at that point but maybe it was too late to stop the company from debuting her. or what about chenle. i’m sure his parents felt like they were supporting their son too, but because if all the singing he did predebut there’s no way his parents didn’t know what they were letting him sign up for when he joined sm. not only that but they could afford to buy a place in seoul and have him live with a family member to watch over him which is still his living situation to this day (although maybe his mom and aunt aren’t there as often now that he’s an adult idk) but clearly they knew and let him do it anyway. and if we REALLY want to talk about not having an excuse then there’s sunny who’s uncle is literally lee sooman and her father is/was in the industry too. she signed to sm at 9 and even though she didn’t debut until she was like 18 her parents let her become a trainee that young when they absolutely new what they were letting her sign up for. there’s also bang yedam who has been one of yge’s favorites since he was a kid like they had him singing and making appearances since he was little. he’s 20 now and he didn’t move out if his family’s home and into the dorm until last year so they must have known too and they still let him go on survival shows and debut (also he’s on hiatus rn. i hope he takes his time and returns when he’s ready) those were just some examples off the top of my head so yes maybe some parents truly are well meaning and want their child to be happy and simply don’t realize the potential consequences but it’s definitely not the case all of the time unfortunately.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Heya just wanted some advice here. I'm a 19 yr old INTJ with depression (have been for 5-6 yrs now). Just wanted to know how to get out of this rut I'm in. Idk if it's a loop or what, I just know I'm depressed and it has definitely worsened since 2020. I don't take any medication and no therapy, although I know I should. When I'm financially stable, I'm planning to.

Anyways, I've been disqualified from college bc of my very low grades and have the option to appeal to be reinstated (and even then, if i do apply for a reappeal, there's a chance they could reject me anyway). In all honesty, I don't want to. I can't be bothered to care for school anymore. I guess most people would be horrified to have such failing grades, but I have no emotions towards it. It's just "oh well" for me. I didn't really want to go in the first place anyway, but my older sister suggested for me to try and I did...which ended up being a waste of time for me and I regret it. I guess it's good I only went for 1 yr lol. Maybe I should have waited or maybe I'm just not a college type at all. I've always disliked school anyways. I managed my depression well back then since i was a good student, straight A's and all, but now I've just completely stopped caring.

I will have to tell my family, but I don't want to tell them about my depression and all that...I haven't told anyone else about my mental issues besides my closest friends and even then, I hardly open up to them about my issues in general (honestly even now i am hesitant abt typing all this despite being anon lol...). My family has never forced me to do anything and give me a lot of freedom actually, so I think they will understand. Even though I often dislike them at times, I do appreciate that they don't force me into anything... I guess I just fear being open about my mental illness. I'm hoping it will be enough to say I just don't have the motivation and focus for school anymore without having to go any deeper. I know I can't just stay home though, staying home drives me crazy and honestly worsens my depression. I do try to keep myself busy at home with chores and babysitting my nephew. But that's still not good enough...I can't drive yet so can't go out and get a job, although I do want to. My best bet is working from home

I am very interested in art and have an art account, although not a lot of followers , but I could try opening commissions up. My lack of followers is my fault lol. I don't upload very often, but I do know my art is good (not in an arrogant way; I definitely know i still have A LOT to learn and I always try to improve my skills) and I know a few people will commission me. I just need a consistent schedule and energy level I think...Instagram's constant changing algorithm is confusing to keep up with + depression killing my energy and motivation + dealing with a baby is exhausting (and i already dislike children to begin with...).

And a week or 2 before my period starts, my depression gets even worse, to the point of daily suicidal ideation in those weeks (I'm sure I have PMDD or PME...likely PME as I'm already depressed and it gets worse before the cycle then goes back to my "normal" state of depression after period ends.) Still, art and the fear of failing to successfully take my own life is what is keeping me alive. If I'm gonna die, I just want to die right away lol but haven't figured that out... I do want to do something with art and be successful, yet a part of me doesn't want to bother at all and just wishes to die in my sleep. I dont really feel sad or anything, i just feel numb i think. Idk anymore

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If I have reason to doubt someone's type, I will not discuss any specifics of type development until the situation is clarified. Since I see little evidence of Ni and Te so far, I will either require you to verify your type or provide a more comprehensive explanation for your atypical function expression/development. You point to depression as a major problem and perhaps it is obscuring the view of your type development. Describing the problem is a good first step, but it’s not enough for achieving a comprehensive understanding of its roots and origins.

Depression is a multi-factorial disorder, which means that everyone’s path to recovery is somewhat different, depending on which factors are most influential. It sounds like you’re just drifting through life aimlessly with very little self-awareness. You’ll need to dig deeper into why you’re suffering and try to account for all of the factors that might have led you to be depressed. In other words, you have to identify the right causes to find the right solutions.

You already know some things you should do, yet you won’t do them. Genuine question: What will it take for you to act? What/who can help you when you don’t care about yourself enough to take responsibility for your own well-being? You don’t want people interfering in your life and that means you have to be the one to step up and take charge. You claim to not care about anything, yet people only ask for help because they care. So, do you or don’t you care? Do you or don’t you want more for yourself? What is the truth?

If you want to understand yourself better, the first thing you have to do is stop deflecting and be completely honest about what you feel. “Numbness” is merely a defense mechanism, a way to cover one’s true feelings, especially the true extent of one’s pain. You won’t understand the problem fully until you access that pain. Everyone has within them a voice that guides them toward self-actualization, so it’s time for you to start listening to it.

Mental disorders are similar to physical diseases; the longer you leave them, the worse they get. Left untreated, depression worsens over time as your life gradually falls apart and you feel as though you have less and less to live for. It sounds like you’ve left the problem festering for too long. PMDD might require medical attention to ensure there’s nothing wrong with your hormone levels, so consult with your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t take it seriously (due to gender bias and discrimination), keep looking until you find a doctor who does. Depression is treatable with cognitive behavioral therapy, so my recommendation is to seek help from a qualified therapist.

If you really don't have any access to therapy, you could at the very least educate yourself about depression and implement some practical advice about how to change some unhealthy thought patterns and poor lifestyle choices. Most major cities have public mental health resources available. The internet has great official resources about how to care better for your mental health. I have also discussed it and recommended books about it. What resources are available to you and have you made use of them? How much longer will you sit and wait? Sitting and waiting is how one gets trapped in a rut.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm sorry, I might have been unclear. ^^;; I mean that when Bakugo is told for ten years he deserves to be arrogant and ambitious, it'd be hard for him to not be. But he picked All Might as his hero, whose compassion and saving people define him. In many ways I see a neglected kid lashing out from frustration before UA. He wasn't going to change until he was among equals in class, and adults who cared enough to tell/show him more than a simple 'you're the best bc you're strong'.

OH yes yes, sorry for the miscommunication! Yeah, we've definitely seen moments in his past where Bakugo's arrogance was stoked and I think those details are the cornerstone of how sympathetically each individual reads him. Does the reader focus on the actions themselves (bullying, encouraging suicide, recklessly fighting Izuku), or the environment that led to that behavior (doting teachers, his mother, peers who egged him on). It's that line between "Bakugo is just a kid. He needs the chance to grow" and "Bakugo is the perpetrator hurting other kids. His growth should not come at the continued expense of his victim." Which is where I think the structural issues of the story come in. Meaning, both takes are right — Bakugo does horrific things and Bakugo is also a teenager whose behavior is arguably stemming from his upbringing — but it's hard to balance both sides when he's in a story where he's attending school with Izuku, his relationship with Izuku is one of the most important, and he's set from the get-go to be a hero. By making Bakugo such a crucial part of the story in the form of a) being a hero and b) being Izuku's foil, reading #1 — he's a poor kid who just needs endless chances to improve — wins out. In a better story setup, Bakugo would not be training alongside his victim. He would have been expelled from U.A. for all the stunts he pulled. His future as a hero would have been seriously called into question until he learned that bare bones respect. As it stands, the structure of the story ensures that Bakugo (to my knowledge) never faced any actual consequences for his actions, pushing a lot of messages that fans are uncomfortable with: past behavior doesn't matter, any improvement is equal to reaching a standard expected of everyone else, the best thing is to forgive your abuser, talent is prioritized over empathy, etc. Since the apology dropped, I've seen a couple of fans arguing that whether to forgive Bakugo or not is Izuku's decision. It doesn't matter what the fans think because they aren't the ones who suffered. But Izuku isn't a real person. Izuku is a character, controlled by an author who gets to decide how he reacts, knowing that lots of fans want Bakugo's behavior to be acknowledged as serious as it was. I'm currently working under the assumption that Izuku will accept Bakugo's apology because the story has never been interested in actually making Bakugo face consequences for his actions. He was established as a hero from the start, despite his unheroic behavior, which created a contradiction that has hurt the story as a whole.

For me, what it comes down to is the reaction as opposed to the explanation. If I had a kid acting like Bakugo who I know was pushed to that behavior by others and also kid acting like Bakugo for seemingly no reason... they both need to learn the same lesson. Because, as established, that over-encouragement isn't an excuse, just a possible explanation (and I say "possible" because plenty of our other heroes were likewise praised for their talents and didn't turn out like that). What it comes down to is that Bakugo is not the victim here. Was Bakugo neglected? Arguably in some respects, but we know for a fact — seeing from the very start of the series — how much damage Bakugo has done in turn. And yet the story is focused on his pain, his struggle, the tragedy of what supposedly drove a teenager to encourage someone to jump off a roof, rather than the tragedy of a minority kid bullied to the point of someone encouraging suicide. That's the flaw imo. Both kids deserve to work through their problems and have their stories told, but doing that together — putting both at the heart of the manga, as equals in terms of their status as heroes — really doesn't work for me. It's hard to get invested in the supposed tragedy of a kid who was endlessly praised and decided to turn that into despising everyone "lesser" than him when the "lesser" person is right there, having his victimhood largely ignored in favor of unpacking how hard this is for his bully. That's the focus we keep coming back to. It's "poor Bakugo, realizing that Izuku isn't a useless nobody" rather than, "poor Izuku, forced to work alongside the guy who thinks he's a useless nobody." To be totally honest here, I never cared about Bakugo's supposedly sad backstory because it reads as so inconsequential compared to others in the class and compared to what he did to Izuku. Todoroki had his face burned by his father. Uraraka is becoming a hero to try and help her family financially. Izuku is right there... and Bakugo's great struggle, the struggle the story spends so much time on, is "Wow, other people aren't trash I can just walk over and hurt for the fun of it? And I'm learning this at a snail's pace while heading towards the prestigious career of being a hero? And the reason I'm like this is because people praised me too much? What fantastic development on my part!"

I get snarky, but I do honestly believe that Bakugo's story is one worth telling, just not in this context. The story of a kid so talented, and beloved that he developed an ego the size of his school and needs to unlearn that arrogance is a legit story to tell. Trying to tell that story at the expense of his victim, alongside kids his age who went through the same thing and turned out kind, went through far worse and turned out kind, all while having him train to be a hero without ever seriously questioning whether he should be allowed in such a profession is... a mess. It is good for Bakugo to be among equals and learn some humility, but I don't think the first half of the story did nearly enough of that and, even if it had, that struggle is hard for me to take seriously when the others have so much else going on.

Also, did Bakugo latch onto All Might because of his compassion? That always seemed incidental to me. Rather, Bakugo idolized him because he's the best: the most popular, the strongest, the one who always wins. I'd need to re-read flashbacks from the manga to be sure, but I do recall one of the scenes from the anime:

"You see that? I bet he'll dodge and then punch! Think they've won and then ha! Look, he totally stopped him! That's why he's the greatest. No matter how much trouble he's in, he's always the winner!"

Bakugo likes All Might because he's "the winner," not because he's presumably saving people during this news coverage. Izuku is the one who latches onto All Might because of his smile and ability to help. That's their crucial difference between them. Izuku fights for others. Bakugo fights for himself.

Is he slowly unlearning that? Yeah, sort of, but again, it comes down to who continually suffers to teach that lesson, how slow Bakugo learns it, how it compares to the struggles of his peers, and how this is situated in a story revolving around allowing him to be a hero in the first place. Cool character idea, bad context and execution.

[mentalmender]

Story time: College / American education

To start off, I am a person who loves to learn and I have to have more time on a subject because most times I don't understand or it just doesn't click to me.

I understand the importance of education but my issue is how it is being delivered and taught to people.

In high school I was an a-b honor roll student and sometimes I struggles and other times I excelled. When I graduated, everyone and society told us that "college is your next step, you have to go through college if you want to be successful" and that's what I thought so I immediately went to college.

Everyone hypes it up so much, so I thought it was gonna be just like high school and it would be fun. At first when I was learning and doing my work I thought it was cool until I started failing and I thought "hey I'm just struggling and it's gonna blow over" but it didn't! At this time, I was going through family issues. Still if I said something, they would probably say "sorry but homework is still due"

It kept continuing! Then I had to worry about financial issues and how I was going to stay at the college... they don't tell you about how much you will stress in college about money or having good grades in your classes...

after I kept failing I was on probation and I tried changing my major from radiology to art and psychology which was great for me bc I love art... I thought again it was going to get better,  I even started seeing my school therapist because I seriously needed a therapist but... it wasn't working... the school therapist wasn't working... she didn't help me nor did my situation get better.

I was doing great in my drawings classes but in graphic design and history and other classes, I was doing terrible! Again here we go, I was failing and so was my love for learning, mental health and my self esteem and confidence.

I was on suspension at this point and I legit did not know why this was happening to me! I wondered why my roommate who slacks off the most, watches Netflix all the time and does other stuff continues to get straight a's in their classes while i am trying and continues to fail no matter what I do....

I honestly think our American education is a joke, a waste of time, and a waste of money. Yes I understand why we need college but what am I supposed to do when I and so many other people feel so uninterested in core and other classes....

if I fail or do not get/understand something the teachers and other people think I'm stupid, lazy, and/or there is something wrong with me. I'm at a community College right now and some of it is happening again... sad part is that amid all these things going on... I thought about doing the unthinkable... and still to this day... which is devastating but... after years and years of dealing with this stuff it starts to take a toll on you

why does school teach us things to remember and pass tests to be ready for the real world? when we graduate we either don't remember or it doesn't apply to our daily lives.

I've been watching so much videos about how school is making us lack critical thinking, creativity and other stuff  and how we waste our lives, our mental health, and money for a piece of paper that tells us what kind of title I have. Not to mention the debt that are gifted to us...

I honestly feel like a dollar sign and not a student or young adult who is trying to get to get dream job and learn and go through life at the same time.

Why not teach us something useful like how to change a tire, fill out taxes, how to build credit or something and anything that we can use in the real world.... in some videos other countries are doing better than us in education related stuff, they even have better benefits like free college, free school supplies like textbooks and other stuff. 

Instead wht I've seen so far is money hungry people (some) who don't care about us and just want students to do it no matter what it takes! Why can't it be better? Why can't it benefit students and our health at the same time? Why can't college be free? Or our text books? Think about my story and about all the other students who have to go through this.

Another thing is that when I was in my first year of college... 2 people on my residential floor dropped out in the first year. It could have been anything but my question still stands... why? Why should we suffer? Why can't we learn from other countries? And help our students actually learn....

Again I know the importance of education but why should we suffer? Change education... update it, do something better.... but... when will it change?