#finally two men who can actually relate to something. anything.

[boilingheart]

Been watching Breaking Bad little by little lately. Why do Walter White and Gale Boetticher read as the most dramatic slowburn ever with the little screen time they have together. wtf. was that just me seeing that? this is my destiel.

[aclowntiny]

I was re-reading your works and then the 'how Ateez would confess to you inspired me!'

I was thinking: how would Ateez tell the other members you're dating!

You- you were rereading my works TIME TO CRY 🥹😭🥰 that means the world!!! Ok but in all related topics I have definite thoughts on this LET’S GOOOOOO

How Ateez Tell the Other Members You’re Dating

Hongjoong

It’s the biggest deal for him honestly because he’s the captain and all. It’s all well within his rights and Hongjoong feels strongly about you otherwise he wouldn’t be pursuing this, but still he has a duty to serve as an example for everyone.

He sits down with you first, looking so serious as he resides across from you in his wheeled office chair. You can’t help the sympathetic fall of your face as his deep brown eyes bore into you. But when he twists in his seat, cushion rotating beneath him, and asks how you’d feel about telling the guys, your expression turns to a smile. The excitement you wear is infectious and soon your hands are joined as if to transfer warm strength and energy while you plan the moment.

The next week, all of Ateez was gathered by their captain, who you agreed to lead the conversation as the group’s leading figure, but you stayed firmly by his side. He couldn’t have done it without you.

“I just wanted to tell you guys that as we’ve gotten to know each other,” Hongjoong began, leaning one hand on the edge of the table in the room as the other brushed yours at his side, “(y/n) and I, well, we’re more than friends.”

The other seven men all burst into choruses of excitement, teasing, and far more I knew its than you two had anticipated, your heart flipping at the thought of your chemistry being so obvious.

While Wooyoung and San made jokes to Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang stayed by you with soft smiles.

“Hongjoong needs someone like you. I’m glad you’re here to make him happy,” Ateez’s maknae tells you, and all you can do is rest a hand on his shoulder and smile, your other one finally falling into your boyfriend’s in front of everybody.

“Why were you so professional about it?” You heard Wooyoung laughing, totally interrupting the sweet moment. "And what did you mean by more than just friends, are you best friends?"

Ah, Ateez. How you loved your boyfriend’s crazy family.

Seonghwa

“Hey, you and (y/n) should date!” A comment from Mingi is all it takes for the walls of secrecy to begin to fall.

“Uh,” Seonghwa plays dumb, “why?”

“Because,” Mingi begins rambling, eyes wide and shiny like something out of an anime, “you guys always play legos together and (y/n) actually listens to all your ASMRs and-”

At this, Ateez’s eldest holds up a hand. “We don’t play legos, we build them. And besides, I’ve built them with San too. Should I date San?” At the mere ridiculous thought, an honest, not even nervous laugh escapes him. San is great and all, but ew.

“Noooo,” Mingi insists, “it’s different with you and (y/n). The way you look at each other and the way you laugh is so cute! I bet you anything if you had feelings they’d be returned! Just confess! Date!-”. Mingi inhales, probably about to add ‘kiss!’ or something, when Seonghwa cuts him off again, chuckling and shaking his head. This is how it is with kids, huh?

“Alright,” he nods, “fine. You’re right. I’ll confess and we’ll date. Guess you could tell how much I like (y/n), didn’t you?” Seonghwa adds with a chuckle. Stars in his eyes, Mingi nods, commenting something about Hongjoong suspecting too, and Seonghwa heads back to the other room out of the hall to where you were.

“Hey, (y/n)?” Seonghwa’s heart melts immediately at the way your head cocks like a little puppy when you hear his voice.

“Yes?” You reply.

“I really like you. We should date.”

“Oh, yeah?” You giggle at what you take as a joke, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Well,” you kiss his cheek, “I accept.”

“Did it work? I saw you guys kiss! It worked, huh?” The tall rapper called from down the hall.

“Oh,” you giggle again, “I didn’t know someone was watching.”

“Yeah, Mingi seems to think we’re perfect for each other.”

Still holding Seonghwa’s side with one hand, you cup the other around your mouth to call back, “Well, I agree, Mingi! That’s why we’re already dating!”

“WHAT?!?!” Mingi yells and San’s head pops out of a doorway shouting the same thing.

Yeah, cat’s definitely out of the bag now.

Yunho

There was no one else he'd rather do this with. Yunho had chosen you to be his partner for a new dance routine he wanted to practice, a close couples' performance that has him smiling cheekily just watching it. Even if it's not seen on a large stage, it's a development in his skills as well as something he hopes you'll enjoy together.

You were in the practice room going over a section of the routine when Seonghwa walks through the door. Yunho doesn't seem to notice or mind, still gliding over the shining wood floor with you, hand brushing your skin as he turned you, pulling you closer to him. When you turned out of the stance, that's when he seemed to finally notice his eldest hyung, who gaped a bit at the two of you.

"Oh, sorry, you weren't filming, right?"

"N-no," Yunho stammered from behind you. You could feel his heart beating fast against you from nerves and exertion.

"Oh, ok. What made you choose this routine?" He asked, cocking a brow and smiling faintly, eyes fixed on your boyfriend.

"Well, we were going to, er, perform it for everyone?"

"What a way to reveal that," Seonghwa teased.

"Wait, reveal what?" You stepped forward away from Yunho, spell broken as you played dumb.

"Don't worry," Seonghwa winked, crossing the practice room to pluck up the water bottle he'd left behind, "I'll act surprised when I see it. I love the dramatic flair! Keep that spin in your routine for sure."

"Thank you," Yunho told him earnestly, clapping him on the shoulder, "and we definitely will."

"But don't be so sexy, we'll all cringe! Our poor (y/n)!"

Yunho and you just exchanged smiles at the way he was more protective over you than him.

Yeosang

You're sitting at Yeosang’s side, knee brushing his just slightly. Reaching over, you steal a fluffy handful of popcorn out of his bowl, which he just glances down at, brow furrowing in confusion. Giggling, you pop one piece into your mouth and hold out another for him, which he accepts.

Ateez is over for a movie night with you, your boyfriend seated firmly at your side, conveniently providing a supply of snacks only you'll be allowed to filch from. Don't we all love partner privilege? You sure do, especially when it provides justified, unadulterated Yeosang cuddle time.

Speaking of which, his arm winds around your waist, his head leaning on your shoulder. Drinking in the warmth, you almost lose yourself in it all, the feeling of the blanket on your lap and his cheek against yours. But then...

"Uh, Yeosang?" You whisper beneath the sway of film orchestra and dialogue.

"Yes?" His breath fans your neck as he speaks before he sits up slightly against you, guarding the popcorn from spilling as he kisses your cheek once, twice.

"Hongjoong is staring at us."

"So what?" He hums dreamily.

"So, I think he's going to have some questions for us."

Sure enough, after the movie's climax, Ateez's captain approaches your couch, arms folding at his middle. "Uh, hey, I'm sorry if this is intrusive, but is there something you haven't told us?"

"Nice going," you tease Yeosang, elbowing his side.

"What," he asks innocently, "I was just enjoying the movie!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, I wish I had a 'movie' to enjoy, too!" San teases him too, pulling him into a bro hug.

"Yay, new Ateez member!" Mingi exclaims, hugging you from the other side.

"Don't break his heart," Wooyoung adds.

"Why, because I already broke yours stealing Yeosang?"

"Exactly," Wooyoung fake-cries.

When you glance back at your boyfriend, he's looking at you, the way Ateez are like brothers to you too, fondly. You two really are just extensions of each other.

San

You guys don’t really get a chance to sit down with everyone and formally discuss them due to a certain turn of events…

All of Ateez are visiting your place just to have one chill day in their lives- your words, not theirs. The rest of the guys don’t know you and San are dating; it’s pretty new, and though San told you they keep joking about his crush on you, he never gave it up without you.

You feel a hand rest upon your arm; turning, you know it’s San. “(y/n), how would you feel about telling everyone while we’re gathered today? I’d really like everyone to know so I can show you off and give you my love around everyone special to me!”

Your heart melts at his words. “Of course we can,” you nod, “I would love that. I love you.” And as you gaze into those warm brown eyes, your chest swells with fondness, with shared sweet, floaty emotions that have San leaning forward into a kiss.

Not that you’re in a rush to pull away, but you push back to separate your lips first, a jolt of shock having struck your head. “Wait, San, did you forget where we-”

“Oh. My. God!” As if on cue, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho shuffled back into the room, wide-eyed in Yeosang’s case, gaping-mouthed in Wooyoung’s, and smirking in amusement in Jongho’s. “When did this happen?”

“Uh,” you stuttered, glancing at San for help and breaking back into a smile when he took your hand warmly, “surprise?”

Mingi

“What if they don’t want you dating someone?”

“Then I don’t care,” Mingi replies immediately, eyes hard with determination, “and besides, we don’t have a ban and I know they like you. They won’t mind. They’re like my family, remember?”

You nod, but still a nervous chuckle escapes you. “Well, yeah, I’m nervous about talking to them too.”

“Well don’t be. It would be impossible for them not to love you.” Pulling you a little closer with the hand he had resting on your shoulder, Mingi presses a kiss to your forehead.

Mingi’s big heart never fails to cheer yours back up. Resting your head on his shoulder, you nod again faintly. “Your confidence means a lot. Let’s go.”

“Let’s go,” he repeats, allowing you to trail behind him as you meet up with the rest of the guys.

They all smile and wave when they see you, two of them even making their way to you. As you chat with Seonghwa and Yunho, you realize that the guys have been treating you like one of them for a while now, and your resolve grows.

“Hey guys,” Mingi calls out, and you shuffle subconsciously closer to his side, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’m the luckiest man in the world!”

“Uh, glad you feel that way?” Yeosang shrugs. “What’s brought this on?”

“(y/n) and I are a couple!” He replies dreamily, wrapping his arms around you.

The guys immediately cheer, Hongjoong regarding him with wide eyes and clapping his shoulder, Jongho shaking your hand like you guys had been bros forever.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Yeosang teased, “how’d you manage to pull someone like (y/n)?”

Mingi just giggled at that before whispering to you, “See? I told you they love you. Just not as much as I do.”

Wooyoung

We all know this man is going to be conspicuous, we just do. It’s not so much something Wooyoung schemes how to break to the others, but wonders how he can brag about it properly.

It starts with a squabble, trivial words of argument bouncing between close friends in their home. “Well, Jongho can hit the highest notes!”

“What does that have to do with who’s the best dancer?” Yunho asked.

“Nothing, I just thought we should appreciate everyone instead of being stupid about people’s talents.”

“But who do you think is the best?” Mingi shot the question over, turning on his couch cushion to face you. “I can do the best body rolls!”

“But Yunho does more choreography,” Hongjoong pointed out.

“Well,” surely at the lack of attention, Wooyoung suddenly stood up, pulling you with him, “you know what I can do? This!” With no other warning, Wooyoung took you in his arms, dipping you and drawing you forth into his lips, one hand firm against the small of your back.

“Wooyoung, I-” You started, suddenly lost for words as he grinned down at you, then back to the room of your flabbergasted friends. “Shouldn’t we have told them first?”

“I just did. I win, everyone! (y/n)’s mine!” Joining your hands, he hoisted them up like an Olympic medalist.

Jongho

Frankly, he doesn’t want to make a big production out of telling them, and you don’t relish the idea of an awkward conversational spotlight either. Thus, together you decide to just proceed as normal until they figure it out.

You’re a friend to all eight members, so you go out with Jongho and his seven bros one day shortly after you two became a couple. You guys are actually in the amusement park when Jongho and you just shrug and take each other’s hand, wondering if the others will even notice as your fingers interlace. They do, but they’re so dense they sort of start muttering to each other like “That’s new isn’t it?”.

Well, whatever for them, you two shrug and smile laughingly to each other as Jongho lets go of your hand, placing a gift shop headband on you and asking your permission for a photo, which you grant him. You and Jongho remain in front of the group with your joined hands raising whatever they did- who cared? You can't help the mischievous laughter that keeps escaping you as you wind through colorful displays together, off in your own world even as the other guys invite you onto rides with them, even wanting to sit next to you or Jongho.

He buys you a bracelet at one point, slipping it around your wrist with a soft smile. Yeosang raises an eyebrow, but also smiles and asks his younger bro if he can have a bracelet, too, prompting some three-way banter.

The biggest ‘tell’ you and Jongho leave is when you finally reach the crest of the highest roller coaster hill and, grinning, lean in for a kiss before you drop, the two members behind you screaming even louder at the sight. No one even has time to recover from the vertigo before Wooyoung and Yunho are scrambling to the others, shouting and stammering up a whole mess about their maknae and you.

[luffyvace]

Tanjiro x male reader<3

Tanjiro x male reader won second place in the poll!! :) enjoy tanjiro stans<3

Starting back at the final selection let’s say that’s when you met

just to clear things up

and you two started dating some time after that

of course eventually making it official

tanjiro was quite flustered when he realized his sexuality might be different from tradition

but he wasn’t afraid to be bi/gay/pan or anything

he just thought- ..! Actually he never really thought of that type of thing..

I mean he was kinda too young

but now that your together!

he has time to figure it all out :)

tanjiro is such a sweet lover!

and helpful!

and caring!

(Really he’s a ball of love)

if you feel tired he carries you

(Even if your both beat up after a mission)

if you need water he’ll spare you some of his or go fetch some

And he’s always down to spar at any type of day!

I will say he’s not thinking about you in that way when you take your shirt off

but when you do he definitely admires you!

you might have abs seeing as though the demon slayer corps has………...harsh (brutal) training 😅

if you do then he sees it as a result of your hard work!

same with scars!

especially with scars<3

he can 100% relate and you two share stories about each one

if you have any—you probably trauma bond

you guys just end up talking all night long about your past, everything that happened, your pain, whether you want revenge or not and so on!

It strengthens your trust and relationship with each other

btw if anyone asks why your together as two males or how you know you actually like men..

tanjiro will humbly and politely educate (lecture) them on how important you are to each other, how you met, why/when you started dating and even if they don’t like it, it’s simple to walk away instead of disrespecting your relationship!

I hope y’all don’t run into uzui..

(y’all do)

that man has THREE wives why wouldn’t he question when he sees you two?? 😬🧍‍♀️

tanjiro had to hit em with the quick fix cuz when I tell you he did not let that slide 😂

especially with how slick uzui mouth be gettin..😒

Tanjiro also has learned to adjust to scavenging for food (he grew crops with his mom)

as well as inosuke (he grew up in the wild) and zenitsu (he used to have crops with his sensei)

so if you can too, great!

if not the 3 of them work together to make the 4 of you meals

and after they learn how to stop burning them

theyre pretty tasty too!!

don’t expect inosuke to share.

do expect inosuke to take

-note to self, m/n.

zenitsu doesn’t see the attraction to males instead of females

he won’t judge but will ask you two if your sure your into males

and after tanjiro gives him that lecture about being respectful-

he doesn’t question it again

LOL

inosuke straight up don’t care

he doesn’t really view relationships in a romantic way

its more so between “they’re beneath me” , “they’re above me, I must beat them”

so no worries about him judging either 😋

if nezuko doesn’t like you

it’s not to say tanjiro won’t date you because of it

but I’ll honestly say it plays a factor

If sweet nezuko doesn’t like you it prob means something..🤨

she has good instincts so tanjiro might start to assume you have ill intent or smth 😬

he’ll try to get her to like you and if she warms up to you he assumes it might’ve been personal 😂🤷‍♀️

but if she doesn’t..

he finds you like 30% less attractive🧍‍♀️

if she does like you from jump, she starts to protect you as well

and loves to spend time with you when she’s outside her box

tanjiro adores this and you three cuddle or play in each other’s hair whenever you have the time

It also makes him happy if you accept nezuko as a demon quickly

after missions tanjiro finds you, nezuko, zenitsu and inosuke

then cries

like your all just a crying mess tbh

i mean unless your like emotionally unavailable..

BC I DON’T SEE HOW YOU COULD NOT CRY AS A MINOR WHO HAS TO KILL LITERAL HORRIFYING BEASTS FOR A LIVING?!?!?!?

Tanjiro will help you achieve your goals as you likely help him achieve his

even more so after that night you had where you opened up to each other about your past

(again, only if you have truama)

tanjiro is really grateful for you

before all he had was nezuko

and aside from zenitsu and inosuke

now he has you!! 💗

tanjiro’s love languages are acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation and (shy) physical touch

actually maybe some gift giving when he can too!!

so all?!

such a green flag 💖

for acts of service as I said he’ll genuinely do any sane thing you ask of him

he cares about you that much

he won’t bother to complain about being tired either

he automatically assumes your either doing worse or he’s fine

as for quality time he gets really relieved when he gets sent on missions with you

at least he can be there to see and protect you

(or maybe vice versa 😂)

he’d beat himself up about not being able to protect you more if you get serious injures

tends to your wounds everyday then trains vigorously

to get stronger and protect you as you fight along side him when he fights muzan

if your gonna fight along side him in that battle? He’s gonna need to be strong enough to protect you.

he doesn’t want to loose you.

especially not to that man.

he lost everything to him.

he won’t let it happen again.

💗💕💖🍡♥︎

for quality time outside of missions ✌︎('ω')✌︎

tanjiro likes to train, cuddle, go on walks, go shopping, chit chat :)

All that good stuff <3

with words of affirmation he really just praises you all the time

”you did your best today in training! I could tell! :D”

“You look great today m/n!! I’m glad your wearing the (favorite men’s jewelry piece) I got you!”

”I can definitely tell your getting stronger, m/n!!!”

c:

it can also be

“get a good nights sleep, m/n! I love you!”

”be careful on your mission okay? I love you, m/n!”

“thank goodness we surviveeeeed!!! I love you m/n!! I love you so much!!”

now lastly for (shy) physical touch

he is nervous to touch you

he doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable, yes that’s the last thing he wants

he doesn’t know how to execute it so he ends up either asking or making it very obvious of what he’s trying to do

that way you can shut him down early on just in case

and you won’t feel pressured to let him if you dislike affection

which mind you he does asks if your okay with it first

so that’s likely not the case

if you did mention your distaste for physical affection, however, it’s duly noted in his mind and will keep it to a minimum

your gonna have to discuss boundaries or else he’s gonna act like you have the plague trying not to upset you 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Tanjiro doesn’t dislike pda or anything

he’s just a bit embarrassed about it

maybe if it’s more subtle like resting your head on his shoulder, then yeah that’s okay!

hugging too!!

but direct kissing or hand holding?

his face is a cherry and he’s apologizing to the passerbyers for disturbing them

even if they don’t mind

he’s self aware when it comes to not disturbing others

tanjiro can be a little flustered/shy about things but he’s certainly isn’t embarrassed about your relationship!

he’s quite proud, actually!

will happily tell/correct anyone that asks or misjudges♡♡♡

It’ll make me happy if you enjoyed this, so hopes to you did!

(apologies for the procrastination, and thank you for your patience lovelies!)

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[steddieas-shegoes]

so for the prompt thingy... i have several and you can pick any, all, or none of them! 1. Steve and Eddie getting one over Murray when he's being all you two are pining ect. 2. Uncle Wayne - anything where Wayne accepts Steve immediately and tries to get him and Eddie married. 3. Werewolf den mother steve being seduced to be eddie's mate 4. Hopper as Steve's father figure accepting Eddie immediately because he isn't a wheeler.

I have so many cause i have ideas but can't write for crap... So thank you for being so open about writing! It's really nice to know it isn't a bother to ask...

THIS WAS SO EXCITING!!!! I did end up combining 1 and 4 into one. Also, I didn't IGNORE 3, but I got another request that is somewhat related and I think I am going to work on this when I work on that, but I didn't want you to wait longer for these other ones. I hope you love these! - Mickala ❤️

--------------------------------------------------

PROMPT 1 AND 4

Murray clocked Eddie within literal seconds. That wasn’t surprising according to everyone who dealt with him before.

What was surprising was that he didn’t immediately call him out. Maybe he actually respected that some people’s secrets should stay secrets.

Or maybe he was just waiting until he figured Steve out, too.

Which apparently happened on a random Saturday at the Byers’ home.

But the thing is. The thing is that Eddie had clocked Steve within seconds, too.

So when the dust settled after Vecna, and Steve pulled Eddie from Hell, and he finally got his true love’s kiss (according to Robin), it took them about six hours before they were making out in Eddie’s hospital bed and calling each other boyfriends.

But only a handful of people were in on it, mostly to protect themselves, but also because they liked just having this for them. Too much of their lives had been out of their control, and they liked being able to have control over this one thing.

Until Murray.

They weren’t even next to each other when it happened.

Steve was helping Hopper at the grill, even though he’d been hopelessly terrible at grilling anytime he attempted it at pool parties with the kids. Eddie was pretty sure it was just to spend time with Hopper.

Eddie was with Will and Lucas, planning out a campaign that Will would DM for all of them, not even looking at Steve.

Okay, maybe he kept glancing over there occasionally, but that was just to make sure that he wasn’t catching anything on fire.

But they were always careful around everyone, and the fleeting glances he gave weren’t abnormal for him. He would do a visual checklist in his mind anytime they were all together, keeping count of everyone in his head the way Steve often did if they were all out somewhere.

“So you’re in love with Steve.”

Eddie jumped at Murray’s voice. He hadn’t even realized he was here.

Will and Lucas were staring, though Will didn’t look surprised at all. If Dustin blabbed…

“Don’t worry, nobody said anything.”

“Uh.”

“And I won’t say anything to anyone else.”

“O…kay?”

“Especially not Steve.”

Wait.

Murray didn’t know they were together, he just thought Eddie was pining.

Oh, this would be fun.

Eddie fought off a smirk, choosing to appear more worried.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Will, somehow, seemed to catch on to everything at once. Maybe his suspicions about Will were right, or maybe Will had just learned to be perceptive about things like this. Either way, he was hoping Will would play along.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Murray said with an annoying hand wave. “I don’t care about you being gay. I’ve had plenty of relations with men in my day.”

Gross, but okay. At least there’s that.

“The problem here is that Steve is so very straight.”

Oh my God, Murray was so wrong.

He shoved down the glee he felt at knowing Murray was wrong about two things.

“And so obviously still in love with Nancy. Poor guy doesn’t know how to call it quits on something that was never good for him. Gotta hand it to him, when he falls, he’s committed.”

Well, some of that was true, but he wouldn’t give Murray the excitement of being right about that.

“How long have you had these feelings? Oh wait, let me guess.” Murray pretended to think for a moment before he smirked. “Since high school when he was the King of the school and you were nobody just trying to survive your second senior year.”

It was longer than that, but he wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction from this conversation.

“You know, Steve would be fine with you coming out to him. I’m sure he’d even play wingman for you if you ask nicely.”

The plan forming in Eddie’s head was going to be so fun.

“You’re right. He’s changed a lot since high school and we’re friends now. I should tell him.”

Will’s eyes widened as he realized what was happening.

“The sooner the better. Keeping these secrets is mentally exhausting. I keep a lot of secrets for people.”

Hard to believe considering most of what came out of Murray’s mouth was something about someone else that they probably wouldn’t want other people to know.

“I’ll go tell him now.”

Eddie got up, ignoring Murray’s protests about this being a family function and isn’t responsible for if things go south.

“Hey Steve, can we talk for a second?” Eddie said loud enough for Murray to hear from across the yard.

Steve was busy flipping a burger as Hopper watched closely.

“Uh, sure. Everything okay?”

“I need you to go along with this,” he whispered. “Today’s the day.”

“Today? Right now?”

“If you’re okay with it.”

They’d discussed it recently; Coming out was something they had to do eventually, especially with how often they were almost caught kissing in the kitchen or holding hands during movie night.

As nice as it was having this for themselves, they knew they had to say something before everyone caught on and felt blindsided by it. Just having Dustin and Max knowing was a risk.

Plus, they wanted to be able to hold hands over the blanket for movie nights, not under.

“Okay.”

Hopper was watching them suspiciously, not interrupting, but clearly wanting to.

“What did you wanna talk about?”

“So you know how everyone thinks I’m into men?”

“I’ve heard the rumors.”

Steve was so good at going along with Eddie’s dramatics. God, he loved him so much.

“They aren’t just rumors. I do like men. Actually, I’ve only ever liked one girl and I was 11, so I think it’s fair to say my judgment could have been off.”

Steve smiled fondly at him, holding back a laugh as he remembered that story from the one time Eddie went to summer camp.

“So I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I also like men.”

“Oh?”

Eddie looked at Murray out of the corner of his eye, smirking at the way he was muttering to himself, disbelief written across his features.

“Yeah, one man in particular.”

“Have I met him? Is he hot?”

“You have and he’s known for fishing for compliments. He knows he’s hot,” Steve raised his eyebrow at him as he turned to take the burgers off the grill and put them on a plate Hopper was wordlessly handing him.

“Excuse me for wanting to hear it out loud in front of all our family and friends.”

“Wait! You’re…are you…you can’t be…together?!”

Murray was outraged and Eddie couldn’t help the snort he let out as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

Steve blushed, like he always did when Eddie showed him affection, but kept putting burgers on the plate.

Hopper was suddenly right in front of Eddie, eyes squinting at him, calculating.

“How long have you been with Steve?”

“Uh. Since March.”

“You’re boyfriends?”

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie never called Hopper sir. Not once in his entire drug dealing and getting away with it career, not once since he came back after Vecna.

But Steve had gotten really close to him when he came back, so he did respect him. And he knew that his opinion mattered to Steve.

“I think I owe you a little conversation then.”

Steve held up the spatula, pointing it between them.

“You two behave. I’m a grown man, Hop. I don’t need you to do what I think you’re gonna do.”

“Yeah, but you’re my kid, and this is what I do for all my kids.”

Steve dropped the spatula.

Eddie’s eyes widened.

He tried to send a silent message to everyone to give them a moment, maybe find something to keep their eyes and ears busy while Steve and Hopper talked for a minute, but everyone’s eyes remained on them.

Hopper sighed.

“Look, your parents suck. That’s not a secret to anyone here, especially not you or me.” Eddie tried not to let his mind wrap around how Hopper seemed to know more details than he did about Steve’s parents. “You’ve never had someone to watch out for you like a parent should. But you’ve got me now. And if I wanna give Eddie a bit of a shovel talk, you’re gonna let me. He’s better than a Wheeler.”

“Hey!” Mike yelled from where he was sitting between El and Dustin on the porch.

“Can it, Michael!” Hopper yelled back at him. “So Eddie and I are just gonna have a quick chat inside. You know how to do the hot dogs on your own.”

“Uh.”

Hopper pulled Eddie away from Steve, guiding him back up the porch steps, passing Murray’s befuddled face.

They went into the house, keeping a good distance between them.

Eddie had never been this nervous before, not even when he had to talk to a judge about living with Wayne or when the government officials took his Upside Down statement.

“So.”

“So,” Eddie responded, clasping his hands in front of him and playing with his rings nervously.

“You and Steve? Really?”

“I-”

“No, I’m talking,” Hopper held his hand up to stop Eddie from trying to explain. “You know about Steve’s parents?”

“A little. Enough, probably.”

“It’s not my thing to share, but I will say I’ve been looking out for Steve for a lot longer than he even realizes. I’ve seen how he handles hurt. I don’t wanna see it ever again. Especially not because of some metalhead who took three years to get through his senior year. You got me?”

“Yes sir.”

“Does Wayne know?”

“What?” Eddie was still trying to parse through the first part of what Hopper said to him.

“Does Wayne know about you and Steve?”

“Yeah, he kind of walked in on a situation that left no room for hiding.”

Hopper nodded once in understanding. No further details needed on that one.

“You boys let me know if anyone out there gives you trouble, okay?”

“Okay.”

They stared at each other in silence.

“You love him?”

“More than anything.”

Hopper gave him a sincere smile. A real smile from Hopper. He got an actual smile!

“Good. You both deserve to have something good with each other.”

Eddie wasn’t going to cry. Not now, now in front of Hopper, not when he had to go back out to their little get together.

Hopper’s hand rested on his shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

“I know everything about you. Just remember that if you ever think about hurting him.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hopper left through the backdoor, yelling at Murray to stop mumbling to himself because he was scaring the kids. He looked out the window to see Joyce and Max hovering near Steve at the grill and he smiled to himself.

Steve was so loved by all these people, and he was so loved by all these people. It probably didn’t matter if they were obvious, if anyone knew about them from the start, if Murray was right or wrong.

The people who mattered were just happy that they were happy and he couldn’t ask for more than that.

-----------------------------------------------------

PROMPT 2

“Why the hell are you cleaning the shower? Is that bleach?” Wayne scrunched his nose at the overwhelming smell of bleach coming from their shared bathroom.

“I’m having a guest over.”

“And they plan on showering here?” Wayne smiled amusedly at Eddie’s frantic scrubbing.

“It’s Steve.”

Ah. It all made sense now.

Wayne took a sip from his mug, his black coffee lukewarm from sitting on the counter for a bit too long.

“So he’s showering here? Is there somethin’ wrong with his showers?”

“It’s just in case,” Eddie huffed, finally pausing to look over at Wayne in the doorway.

“In case he spills the entire kitchen on his head?”

“Can’t I just clean the bathroom? When’s the last time we cleaned this thing?”

“Probably the last time I made you clean it as punishment for something.”

“When’s the last time you punished me for something?”

“It’s about to be now with that tone,” Wayne said as he raised his brows.

He’d never seen Eddie quite like this, not even the one time he brought a girl home for dinner. He knew he’d been kind of in love with Steve from a distance for a while, and when everything happened in March, they’d gotten close, but he didn’t realize how close.

“Sorry. I just want things to go okay.”

“Is there a reason they won’t? You spend an awful lot of time with that boy already.”

“I just don’t want him to think we’re trash, ya know? Like, we kinda are, but I don’t want him to see it.”

Wayne didn’t like that Eddie referred to himself as trash, never had. Sure, they were broke, and he was usually too busy working and trying to get some sleep to deep clean the house, and he didn’t really have nice stuff, but they had what they needed and they were safe.

“Has he ever said or done anything to make you think you’re trash? If he has, he ain’t welcome here.”

Eddie sighed.

“No, he’s been really nice.”

“So you’re worryin’ for you, then. Didn’t I tell ya to stop doin’ that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Open the window in here, air it out. Gonna kill the boy with the smell of bleach,” Wayne said as he walked back to his chair.

His days off were few and far between, even after they got their trailer fixed up and paid off for free and Eddie’s medical bills suspiciously disappeared. He spent most of them watching TV or fixing something, but now that he knew Steve was coming, he wanted to cook dinner.

Maybe he wanted to impress him to keep him around for Eddie.

Maybe he just wanted an excuse to cook something.

But it was barely past lunch, and he wanted to relax a bit before Eddie was so high strung from stress that he couldn’t breathe.

He watched his TV, but he listened to Eddie grumbling from his room, the occasionally clatter or bump making him laugh to himself at how much effort Eddie was putting in.

“You alright?” He asked after a particularly loud bump against the wall.

“Yep!”

Wayne checked the clock and saw it was close enough to the time he needed to start making dinner.

“Eddie? How’s pork chops and mashed potatoes sound?”

“Good!”

Something falls in Eddie’s room, but Wayne just shakes his head and goes to the kitchen to start prepping everything.

His pork chops were Eddie’s favorite for years, probably because they usually only had them on special occasions or if Wayne was able to go in a little late to have dinner with him. Anytime he had his friends over, Wayne would try to make them.

And now he could make them for Steve.

Steve had been over a lot when Eddie first got out of the hospital, helping make sure he had everything he needed while Wayne was at work, making sure he was being left alone by the idiots in town.

He stopped coming by as much after a while, but anytime Eddie came in the door, he’d been with Steve. He was visiting Steve at work, or at Steve’s house, or with Steve and the kids at the arcade or the diner, or with Steve at the quarry.

Wayne wasn’t stupid.

He knew Eddie was in love with the boy.

He just didn’t know for sure if Steve loved him back.

But he’d find out tonight one way or another, even if he had to outright ask.

He got lost in the cooking, barely noticing Eddie walking in and out with dirty dishes and trash from his bedroom.

But then he heard a loud knock on the front door and Eddie’s footsteps racing to open it, and Wayne Munson almost had a heart attack.

Eddie was wearing plain blue jeans, the sneakers he got just for graduation, and a button down shirt. A nice button down shirt.

“You look nice.”

“Shut up. It’s just what I had clean.”

“Right. Sure.”

Wayne smirked down at the pan in front of him, flipping the pork chops over and drizzling more of the melted butter sauce over them as they seared.

He pretended not to listen to the exchange at the door as Eddie let Steve in, but couldn’t help it when he caught Steve planting a kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

“Hope you like pork chops. Wayne’s real good at making them.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. You look nice.”

“Oh uh, thanks. You do also. I mean, too. You look nice too.”

Wayne had never heard Eddie like this, he’d definitely never seen him like this, and he had to figure out what the hell made Steve so special that Eddie suddenly became a different person.

He turned to welcome him and was met by a Steve Harrington he almost didn’t recognize.

He seemed shy for some reason, as if he hadn’t been by Wayne’s side for hours at a time in the hospital waiting for any change with Eddie. He was dressed in similar jeans to Eddie, but was wearing a Metallica shirt that definitely belonged to Eddie.

He was also wearing Eddie’s guitar pick necklace.

So this was serious.

“Well, hey there, Steve. Nice to see you here again.”

Steve was blushing.

“Thanks for having me, Mr. Munson.”

“Steve, we agreed you can call me Wayne last year, didn’t we?”

“Oh. Right. Sorry, sir.”

“It’s okay, son,” Wayne laughed. “Dinner will be ready in a few if you boys wanna grab drinks and plates.”

They did, and Wayne watched out of the corner of his eye as Eddie placed a hand on Steve’s lower back and kissed his shoulder.

They were silently getting things out, but moving in a way that made Wayne smile.

They revolved around each other the way soulmates do, naturally being close enough to touch but not, always anticipating where the other person will be and what they’ll need, happy just to orbit each other.

Wayne watched as Eddie smiled at Steve, who was sticking his tongue out at him while he reached for the cans of soda in the fridge.

He’d never seen him so light, so happy, so content. Especially not since everything that happened with the quake.

He grabbed the plates from Eddie and served them each a hearty portion of food.

“This looks great, Wayne. Thanks for cooking.”

“No need to be so formal, Steve. I like cookin’ for you boys.”

They took a few bites in a slightly awkward silence. Eddie’s leg was shaking so badly, the whole table started moving. What the hell was this kid so nervous about?

Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s knee, probably thinking it was out of sight. Wayne watched as Eddie stopped his movements and settled completely, letting out a long breath.

“So what’s the occasion? Not that I ain’t happy to have ya over, Steve, it just seems outta nowhere.”

“We uh, actually wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh?”

Wayne knew where this was going, but he liked to keep Eddie guessing.

“Yeah. So you know how I’ve been spending a lot of time with Steve.”

“Go on.”

“Well, a few months ago, um. I told him about me. Like how I’m into men and women. And it turns out he is too! So that was a relief obviously. And we talked about how nice it was having someone else know and then he explained he’d never even kissed a guy which is just kind of silly because look at him! He’s hot! And I told him he could kiss me to get it out of the way, ya know? Because sometimes just getting the first one out of the way just makes you more confident and then he kissed me to shut me up because I was rambling like I am now, Jesus Christ, Steve, please stop me.”

“Okay, so what he’s trying to say is um. We’ve been boyfriends for a while now. And I’m.” Steve took a shaky breath, then put his hand in Eddie’s on his lap. “I’m so in love with him, Wayne. He’s been spending a lot of time at my house, but I wanted to come here and he was worried about us not being able to hide it around you so I told him we could just tell you. I hope it’s okay.”

Wayne kept his face level, no smile or frown, just waiting to see if they’d word vomit anymore.

“And like, it’s okay if you don’t want to see any PDA or anything! We won’t like make out on the couch or anything, but we just wanted you to know. I wanted you to know. And Steve knows you’re so important to me so he agreed.”

“And we’ll probably still spend a lot of time at Steve’s because that’s where the kids like to hang out since he has a pool and a lot of space for us to watch movies. So you’ll hardly even see us together here.”

“Are you boys done?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said, head hanging down.

“Good. Who knew you both could ramble on like that?”

They stayed silent, anxiously waiting for Wayne to yell at them or kick them out.

“You love each other?”

They both nodded.

“And you make each other happy?”

They nodded with smiles growing on their faces.

“Then I want you boys here, loving each other, making each other happy, whether I’m here or not. You’re always welcome in my home.”

He felt the relief wash over them, their tense bodies relaxing in their chairs.

“Now, Steve.”

“Oh no. Don’t,” Eddie said, suddenly tense again.

“Now, wait a minute. It’s my job, Eddie.”

“No it’s really not. I’m an adult, I can take care of myself.”

Wayne turned to Steve with a small smile.

“You’ve heard the speech before, I’m sure. You hurt him, I hurt you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, if you hurt him on purpose, they’ll never find your body, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you,” Wayne turned to Eddie. “Same goes for you. You think just because you’re my blood I won’t protect Steve if you do somethin’ stupid?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now that that’s settled.” Wayne took a sip of his drink. “Steve, you like ice cream?”

“I love ice cream.”

“What’s your favorite flavor? I always keep Eddie’s in the freezer.”

“Oh. You don’t have to do that.”

“Stevie, you better answer him or he’ll guess.”

Steve laughed. He looked happy. Wayne liked that he looked happy.

“Mint chip.”

“We all have our flaws.”

“Hey! It’s good!”

Wayne laughed.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get some at the store this weekend.”

Wayne knew what it was like to have neglectful parents, and he knew that Steve may have had a lot of things handed to him, but never love and affection from his own parents.

So if he was someone Eddie loved, and who loved Eddie, then he was going to have to accept the love and affection Wayne had to offer.

[crow-hoards-things]

The Bad Batch Series Finale

FULL DISCLOSURE: This is a vent post. I’m angry and hurt. After I get this out of my system I’ll be more open to discussing the positives of the episode.

Warnings: Ranting, Spoilers

Hooo boy. Okay. I am… less than satisfied?

Quick rundown since I haven’t posted much of anything Bad Batch related: Tech is my favorite Batch member, immediately followed by Crosshair. I’m also a HUGE Republic Commando Nerd (read all the books, played the game, despised Bad Batch as a whole initially because I felt the commandos were being unfairly ignored, can sing + translate Vode An, etc.) and Scorch was my favorite Delta. The Bad Batch grew on me shortly after Season 1 finished up, and I immediately latched onto Tech when I began watching. He’s the reason I watched the first two seasons. (Crosshair + delusions about Tech were the combined force behind watching the final season)

NOW, onto my actual thoughts on the episode, in no semblance of order because my brain is still trying to process, Ft. Cry count:

• Wish Tech was here. He would’ve loved the Zillo being freed.

• “‘Cause I’d do the same thing” no you wouldn’t. Fives would’ve. The you I fell in love with would’ve yelled at Fives about it being a terrible idea and then promptly gone along with it anyway. That said it was a really cute moment and I loved his nonchalant little “come on” afterwards.

• C: “Echo or Omega?” W&H: “Omega” THEY KNOW THEIR GIRL SO WELL

• When Hemlock went to get the operatives I got excited thinking maybe, just maybe we’d get Tech back.

• CROSSHAIR LOST HIS FREAKING HAND!?!? WHAT THE HECK!?! I will never stop being salty about this. He’s been through enough. [Near Tears]

• Rampart sucks

• Nala Se got to blow stuff up and I appreciate that even if I don’t really like her

• I’m glad Wrecker’s okay. He had me scared for a bit. Hunter, conversely, never really did? He’s Omega’s Dad, he had to survive.

• Did anybody else see that one operative whose helmet seemingly had goggles built into it? We had a lingering shot on his helmet for a few seconds and they looked like a red version of Tech’s goggles.

• SCORCH IS DEAD AND YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE I’M MAD ABOUT IT! [First shedding of tears]

• HECK YEAH, HEMLOCK IS DEAD!!! [Tears of relief combined with grief over Scorch]

• I’m so glad Omega hugged Crosshair first. I fully expected her to just run to Hunter, and Crosshair needed that hug.

• Echo’s goodbye was disrespectful. 0/10. He’s family and they don’t even care that he’s leaving???

• SOMEONE IS MISSING FROM OUR NICE LITTLE GROUP SHOT!

• I never really got super invested in the dynamic between Omega and Hunter, but the ending between them was cute I guess.

• We were robbed. We could’ve gotten Crosshair and Wrecker as old men and we were robbed.

• Tech is dead. Like, seriously, really and truly, dead. As a delusional “Tech’s alive guys, trust me” fan, it feels like he just died all over again. I’ll talk more about this later because I’m not over it. [Que sob-fest]

alright, circling back around to my main gripes, in order of appearance:

#1. Scorch.

I hate how they handled him. At first when he showed up I got super excited. That was my boy! In the Bad Batch show!! He’s making an appearance!!! Maybe they’ll do something with the Delta boys!!

Even as the episodes went on and I started to suspect where his path was leading, I consistently would go “Scorch!!! <3” every episode, because that is my boy and I love him dearly.

The levels of offended I am on Scorch’s behalf are not within my ability to express with words. The complete and utter disrespect he was shown over his time on the show is appalling. Why bring him in if you’re going to drain him of all his personality, make him have zero plot relevance, and then murder him?! They could easily have made a new clone for that, as seen by the number of operatives who exist and got 0.5 minutes of screen time.

But no. They brought in a beloved character with 10 seconds of canonical screen time prior, stripped him of everything that made him lovable, didn’t even have him DO ANYTHING, and then murdered him. It feels like a spit in the face and a kick to the gut all at once.

I will mourn. I’ve already cried and I’ll probably cry again. But right now I’m angry and I think Scorch deserves to have people be angry about how he was treated.

#2. Tech

Yes. I admit to having been a “trust me guys, Tech’s alive” person. I will also admit that at the end of episode 13 I wanted him to stay dead because I had zero faith they could satisfactorily bring him back.

My gripe is not with him staying dead. Yes, it feels like losing him all over again. Yes, I will mourn him again. Yes. That sucks. It’s not what’s making me mad.

What makes me mad is how his death was handled.

• It served ZERO purpose narratively other than to up the stakes and make us worry about whether anyone else would die (Spoiler alert: They didn’t. Tech was the only one who died) • Nobody mourned him. No one seemed affected by his death at all. No one cared. I don’t care what anyone says, that will NEVER be okay. • The first actual mention of Tech *dying* was in the finale. Sure, we’ve had name drops and goggle appearances, but actually talking about what happened? One line. One. Freaking. Line.

I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face, you know? He deserved better and so did we. He was a part of that family and they couldn’t even be bothered to address the responses to his death. He was beloved by many of us and they couldn’t even respect him or his fans enough to treat his death like something to be mourned.

That’s wrong, no matter how you look at it.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Can I get a 'Chocoholic reader' but the reader is obsessed with roses instead? With same eprsonality of reader and same characters ofc!

-Ask anyone who knew you about what would make you happy and it was simple, roses. You adored anything to do from roses, from the actual flowers, real or fake, to rose related items, like rose shaped earrings or clothes with rose shaped patterns.

-This made gift shopping for you extremely easy, as you adored anything that was gifted to you that had to do with roses, even if you already had something similar in your possession.

-Your love was common knowledge to anyone who sees you, even if they didn’t know you, as you always wore something that had roses on it, be it a purse, or a dress or even a fully rose related outfit, and you could easily spend hours in rose gardens, looking at the different colors.

-There were some, who thought you were a little bit too easy to please, that they could use that to their advantage, gifting you something small with roses, just to see you light up and smile so brightly, to get hugs in return, as you were rather oblivious to their ulterior motives.

-Luckily for you, you had two knights in shining armor who were ready to throw hands on sight to protect you from such unworthy scum. Two rulers- Hades the King of the Underworld, and Qin Shi Huang, first emperor of humanity!

-Your warm and bright smile, much like sunshine, quickly caught their attention and they both came to adore you and they were willing to protect you from others, except for children, as they couldn’t do a thing against children, except being amusingly jealous.

-They adored your joy, seeing you love something and appreciate something so much, always looking like a rose yourself- full of life, color, and beauty.

-When they started to court you, wanting you for themselves, you were unaware of their rivalry for your affections. They were willing to work together to protect you, but neither one wanted to share you.

-Beautiful bouquets of full red roses, then to bouquets of the rarer colored roses like purple, orange, gold, and black, which were stunningly beautiful, then to beautiful rose-based accessories or clothing items, which they would brag to the other about if you were wearing one of their gifts.

-You were aware that they both were courting you, but you were unaware of the rivalry they had behind the scenes, away from you, and you began to fall for both of them. It was rather embarrassing for you to be in love with two different men, but you were beginning to worry, as you didn’t want to have to choose either one of them.

-When they both visited you, each holding a beautiful bouquet, as they had tried to beat the other to your front door first, you were flustered, but they weren’t expecting you to start crying.

-Instantly they teamed up again, trying to calm you down, hating seeing you in tears,  ushering you inside and comforting you.

-When you were finally calm enough to speak, your face bright red, like your favorite roses, you confesses, telling QSH and Hades that you loved them both and that you didn’t want to choose between the two of them, and you were fully prepared to have neither, if that spared their feelings.

-You were holding your cheeks, even redder than before, moments later when they shared a look, then a smile before they agreed that they would share you, if you were willing to be shared.

-You accepted, much to their joy, but they did still have their fights here and there, trying to one up each other, which did make you smile, as you realized they loved you so much to get along to make you happy, because that is all that mattered to them. Seeing you happy.

[farfromstrange]

Do No Harm

CHAPTER SEVEN: Downward Spiral

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: After agreeing to go on a date with Matt, you start realizing the weight of your decision, and your thoughts begin spiraling. In a moment of need, you turn to the only close friend you have in Hell's Kitchen, hoping she can pull you away from the edge of the very steep cliff your trauma is trying to throw you into.

Warnings for this chapter: ANGST (the caps feel appropriate here), mentions of domestic violence, suicidal thoughts, allusions to a suicide attempt, allusions to sexual assault, mentions of being taken advantage of by a superior, (I guess you could say) mentions of hypersexuality, self-loathing, PTSD, some foreshadowing, mental breakdown, alcohol, Season 1 related plot (spoilers)

Word Count: 6.4k

A/n: Surprise! I'm posting early because I'm going to see my family this weekend, and after I had an epiphany at two in the morning and spent 3 days writing this, I got it done, and I'm actually quite proud of this (or maybe it's the caffeine). Anyway, heed the warnings because the topics of conversation in this are pretty dark. That's why I highlighted the angst. And if you haven't watched past episode 1 of Season 1, this might spoil some things for you. (Also, I have no idea how this turned into a beast with a word count over 6k. Sorry in advance.)

Read Chapter 7: Downward Spiral here on AO3

You don’t know what came over you.

You typed in Matt’s number in a moment of weakness, and once you heard his voice through the line, you gave up on being careful. You gave up on denying yourself what you’re so desperately craving, and you abandoned all rational thought.

For him.

You promised not to get attached to someone ever again—let alone a man. You started a new life in Hell’s Kitchen to find your way back to normalcy. You took all the necessary precautions, and even though you look back at the shreds of your old life every day, you are never going back.

Two years. That is the longest you have managed to stay in one place ever since you left California. But you still haven’t found your way back into the real world.

You have been guarding yourself, afraid of having your heart broken, afraid of losing this chance at a new life, and afraid of the man who ruined you. 

Every time you close your eyes, you see his face. You hear his voice in the back of your mind. He’s everywhere, even when you don’t want him to be. 

It’s easier to put a wall between yourself and everyone else. A wall no one can break through, not even yourself. You trapped your soul for the sole purpose of keeping yourself alive after you made the hardest decision of your life. When you ran, you believed your life was over, but you have always been too much of a coward to end your misery. God knows you’ve tried, but even a trained doctor can’t fully understand death, and some things just don’t work out the way we want them to. 

Drunken one-night stands can’t possibly compare to a meaningful emotional connection, but they satisfy the need for physical intimacy. At least for a little while. It killed you; slowly, almost pathetically, but sleeping with strangers in dirty motel rooms did a better job than you ever could. 

For the longest time, you used sex as a coping mechanism. You let strange men use you because that is the only way you know how to be with someone else. You let them hurt you to feel something, anything because pain is better than feeling nothing at all. But when you finally got settled in Hell’s Kitchen, thanks to Claire, you stopped. 

You locked up your heart and threw away the key. You started to shield your body the same way you have shielded your soul. You retreated into a shell of restlessness and constant fear of every little sliver of hope you feel being taken away from you. 

You have nowhere else to run, which is why keeping a low profile is so important to you, but after two years, don’t you deserve to finally live? 

We don’t exist to just survive; we exist to live the life we were given. You are Olivia Clarke now, not the broken girl you left behind, but every time you think about it, his voice returns and backs you into a corner that you can’t escape from. 

Every time you see the scars on your body, all you want to do is rip the skin off your bones and feed it to the dogs. 

The men you slept with while you were running from your past saw you as a mere object, and you are used to being seen that way, but it was isolating nonetheless. They didn’t care about your scars, they only cared about what you could give them. They treated you like he did without lifting a finger. 

Even though you don’t do that anymore, it still weighs heavy on your wounded soul. 

Matt treats you like a person. He can’t physically see, but he still sees you. He sees you in a way no one has ever seen you before. And he is gentle, and patient, and—

You scream into your pillow. Your nose still hurts, but it is nothing compared to how fast your heart is beating. 

To you, Matt is perfect. You know that no one can be perfect, and you should be careful, but he makes you feel things you have long denied yourself. He makes you feel wanted. Desired. Like you can be yourself around him and still be worthy of his attention. Like you matter. And he has a certain way of being around you that makes you feel protected, almost. 

You don’t need protection. You have made it this far without a bodyguard by your side. You know how to fight your own battles better than most, but you can’t deny that you wouldn’t mind being saved by him. 

You wouldn’t mind those hands he always wraps around his cane to wrap around you instead. He can’t see your scars, but he can feel them, and as terrifying as that thought sounds, it also excites you. 

You’re treading dangerous territory, but God, he won’t leave you alone, not even when you’re trying to sleep. He could offer you a sense of normal that you have long missed. He could teach you how to be a person again. And maybe, just maybe, you could let yourself be cared for by him. 

You roll back onto your back when you need to breathe, one of your hairs getting stuck to your lip. You let out an annoyed huff. There won’t be much sleeping tonight, you’re sure. Not when you keep thinking about tomorrow.

“You’re not fifteen anymore,” you mutter to yourself. “What is wrong with you? God!”

It’s almost too surreal to believe that this magnetic force of a man managed to retrieve some of your long-lost hope, and he only had to call you beautiful once for you to be completely smitten. 

When he allowed you to take care of his injuries on the first day you met, you didn’t think a person could be this guarded yet so vulnerable at the same time. He’s breaking under an invisible weight that must have been on his shoulders for years, maybe even decades. You’re painfully aware of other people’s feelings, and it wasn’t hard to tell that Matt carries a lot of unresolved pain with him. Always. He reminds you so much of yourself, it’s like staring into a mirror. Two broken halves of a whole. 

Your thoughts won’t stand still, no matter how hard you try. You’re stuck inside an invisible hourglass. Not even heaven knows what will happen once time runs out. You don’t understand why you’re overthinking this while, at the same time, knowing exactly why. And you hate it. 

There is a part of you that you can never get back. A little girl who grew up too fast. A girl who didn’t know any better. A broken teenager who wanted nothing more than to escape and live a better life than her parents could ever give her, and when she did manage to escape one hell, she found herself in a new quarter of purgatory built just for you.

You used to think that maybe you just bring the worst out in people, but after seeing the worst of humanity outside of your broken relationships, too, you’re not so sure about that anymore.

The fact that you don’t understand why you can’t stop your usually so intelligent brain from spinning out of control makes you want to claw at the walls of your apartment that threaten to cave in on you.

Part of you wants nothing more than to run and never look back, but you can’t run forever. This time, you wouldn’t be running from the Devil; you would be running from a fear of your own feelings. Human feelings. Feelings that have a high likelihood of recurring, and then you will have to run again. 

You can’t run from reality forever. It’s a different reality now, but it’s a better reality. That is a rational thought, but being rational currently has no place in your mind, so you’re spiraling, and all because a nice guy asked you out for coffee. 

You find yourself in a cab a few minutes later, wearing a pair of sweatpants, and an oversized shirt, with an untouched bottle of wine in your bag. Your worn-down sneakers are not the appropriate footwear for today’s weather, but you couldn’t be bothered to pick another pair. 

You’re aware that it’s late and maybe you should have texted, but you’re already here, and Claire told you that you could always come to her, even if it happens to be the middle of the night. If the rule still stands after she suddenly decided to stay at your co-worker’s place without a proper explanation, you’re not quite sure though. 

You knock. At first, no response. You knock again. The floorboards creak on the other side of the door. 

“Claire, it’s Liv,” you call out.

You can hear the exact moment the person inside the apartment starts to panic. The floorboards creak again, more frequent this time, and it sounds almost as if Claire is turning the room upside down. You raise your eyebrows. 

Before you can knock again, the lock finally clicks, and she opens the door. She’s more of a mess than you are, and that is put lightly.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Claire greets you. “What are you doing here?”

You blink a few times. “Hello to you too?”

She sighs. “I didn’t mean—I’m sorry, it’s just been a long night.”

“I can see that,” you answer. “Are you alright?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She looks you up and down. “What happened to your nose?”

“It’s a long story.”

“No shit.”

“Yeah. Can I, uh, come in?”

She hesitates before stepping aside to let you in. “Sure.”

You take a quick look around the apartment. Nothing seems out of place. A bowl of cat food stands in the corner by the kitchen. The window in the living room is open, but it seems intentional. 

The scent of antiseptic lingers in the air. You’re not sure if your nose is betraying you as you breathe in, but the smell is familiar. Bandages, disinfectant, and salve. You don’t want to question it, but you can’t help it. 

“Did you hurt yourself?” you ask. 

Claire blows her nose behind you. If you didn’t know better, you would think she was actually sick. She shakes her head upon hearing your question, but there is a faint blush on her cheeks. 

“What makes you think that?” she retorts. 

“Oh, no particular reason. It just smells very… hospital-y. That’s why I asked.”

“I, uh, I had to put a bandage on my leg earlier ‘cause this stupid cat decided to scratch me after peeing everywhere.” She sniffs. “Had to clean the wound, that thing—“ she nods toward the cat sitting in the cat tree, “and then the apartment. Maybe that’s why.” 

You follow her gaze toward the little furball resting on his cat tree. You approach him, but Claire seems less pleased at the prospect. 

“Be careful. He’s pissed.”

“At you,” you correct her. “Also, you’re having an allergic reaction, and—if he really, honest-to-God scratched you—very probably an infection. Why are you even staying here?”

Your voice rises in pitch when you reach the sleeping cat. “Hello, you.” You stroke his fur. He only opens one eye to sniff you, but once he recognizes you, he starts purring. For a moment, you forget the reason why you even came here. 

Claire exhales loudly. She scratches her neck, her skin threatening to break out into hives. “It’s a long story,” she says. 

You glare at her over your shoulder, your hand still stroking up and down the cat’s back as he settles back into a deep sleep. “I’m worried about you."

“That’s sweet of you, but I’m fine.”

“You called out of work and told Shelly you were sick.” You straighten up and turn back to face her. “You’re not sick, Claire.”

She sniffs as if to prove her point.

“Your immune system is overreacting by producing Immunoglobulin E. The antibodies are traveling to the cells responsible for releasing chemicals into your body, causing you to get a stuffy nose and break out into hives. You’re not sick. You’re allergic to cats and sharing an apartment with one. There’s a big difference,” you state. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but you have to admit that, from where I’m standing, your behavior looks a little suspicious.”

“I’m going through some shit, alright?” she says. “And it’s a lot easier to deal with them here than back at my place. That’s why I called in sick.”

You don’t know what to make of her answer. It’s vague. You don’t like vague answers because they often indicate a bigger problem. It is one thing for you to deal with your demons on your own and refuse to talk about it with your best friend; it’s another thing entirely to keep a dangerous truth from the person you’re closest with, one that could potentially lead to worse consequences. If Claire were a naturally secretive person, maybe you would understand, but she isn’t like that. She isn’t you. 

She’s the only person who knows your entire story. She saved your life. You can’t imagine her keeping secrets from you that might end up hurting her. 

You dare to ask, “Are you in danger?”

She shakes her head a little too fast. “I’m fine, Liv. Really.”

“I’m sorry, but I have a hard time believing that.”

“It’s…personal.”

“Personal? Oh, my. Are you sleeping with Luke again?”

Claire stammers. The look on her face suggests that she didn’t expect you to jump to that conclusion. “What? How did you even–”

“Are you?” you repeat your question. 

The last time she slept with Luke Cage, she lied to you about it. She knew you would worry. It’s only natural for you to come to that conclusion now. Except that Luke is in prison, serving his sentence, and it doesn’t make sense. 

“How would I sleep with an incarcerated man?” Claire deadpans. 

“I’m sure you have your ways,” you say. 

“You’re grasping at straws.”

“That’s… true, but it’s coming from a place of love.”

She responds with a sigh. “I don’t wanna fight.”

You join in. You exhale, slowly lowering yourself down on the couch. “I’m sorry,” you murmur. “Just tell me you’re okay, please.”

She offers you a gentle smile. “I’m okay,” she says. 

“Thank you.” 

You choose to believe her. For the time being, at least. 

The silence tugs at your brain cells. You obsessed over Claire’s situation because you didn’t want to face your own, but now that your thoughts have regained the freedom to roam and cause irreversible destruction, you start spiraling again. 

You reach into your bag. 

“You brought wine,” Claire points out. 

“Yep,” you say. The bottle weighs heavily in your hand.

“You need a glass?”

You unscrew the top. “No.”

She doesn’t listen. Claire makes her way into the kitchen, reaching for the wine glasses in the cupboard. “Does this have anything to do with why your nose is all blue and swollen?” 

You shake your head at her question. “That was a patient I tried to sedate. No, I, uh… I have a date,” your voice falls flat. 

The wine glasses move back into the cupboard. Claire turns around, her eyebrows moving up to her hairline. “Come again?”

“I have a date.”

Saying it out loud makes it real. Something so surreal cannot be real, but it is. You have a date with Matt Murdock. Your heart begins racing again, and you feel the same desperate urge to scream into the nearest pillow again. 

You take a sip of wine straight from the bottle. You have a date with a nice man who, for the first time in two years, made you see some resemblance of light at the end of this endless tunnel of despair, and the thought alone is terrifying. Because how are you supposed to live after just existing for the longest time? After you dedicated your life to the act of survival?

Claire steps out of the kitchen and in front of you. “Liv, that’s… that’s amazing!” she says. She sounds like a proud mother. Maybe she is. 

You want to shake your head, but you can’t find it in yourself to do anything other than put the bottle back against your lips and take another sip. The alcohol burns down your esophagus into your stomach, spreading a warm feeling through your fragile body, and into your broken soul. 

“Or not,” she corrects herself upon seeing the expression you’re carrying. Your eyes are empty. “I’m confused,” She pauses, “Are we not happy about the fact that you’ve finally got a date after two years of being miserable?”

If she puts it like that, you feel even more miserable. Another sip of wine finds its way down your throat. 

“Okay, maybe you should put the bottle down. I’m sorry if I said something wrong–”

“It’s not you, it’s me.” You put the bottle down. 

Claire sits down next to you, but you get up before she can take your hand and look at you with that caring look she always gives you when she’s worried. You’re not even mad that she played your concerns down when you expressed them and now she is expressing concerns about you; you’re mad at yourself. 

She watches you. “You have a date. That’s a good thing. It means you allowed yourself to finally say yes to someone interested in you, right?”

“No,” you shake your head. 

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

You’re pacing over the creaky floorboards. “The last time I went on a date with someone was after my intern year.”

Her gaze softens. “You told me that,” she murmurs. 

“He took me to a restaurant,” you tell her. Your lip quivers as you speak, and your nails dig into your palms until they draw blood. You can barely feel it. His face is right in front of you. “It was a nice restaurant. He paid for me, even offered me his jacket while we were walking home. It was the best date I ever had. And then he kissed me on the doorstep before wishing me a good night.”

“I know. You told me all of that before. But you couldn’t have known that he would turn out to be who he turned out to be. He was your boss. He had no right—”

“That is precisely the problem, Claire!” your voice breaks. “The guy I met, he’s… his name is Matthew. He’s… he is so nice to me. He cares. He treats me like a human being. He… he’s respectful. He called me beautiful. I don’t even know how he knows that. He just… he was so nice to me, and I feel so comfortable around him. I haven’t felt this comfortable around a man in so long. I… I wanted to go out with him. I flirted with him, for fuck’s sake! And when I’m with him, I finally feel wanted again.”

“But you know who else was nice to me when I first met him?” you say. “Who was respectful? Who said I was the only real thing in this world, the only important thing in his life, and that he loved me? You know who made me feel safe and wanted, and who said he cared about me? John said that I was the most beautiful woman on this planet, and I fell for it because he was nice to me. He–”

“But that guy isn’t John,” Claire cuts you off. She raises her voice only slightly—only enough to make you stop and stare at her, tears streaming down your cheeks. You’re miserable. You’re a mess. It is truly embarrassing. But she doesn’t look at you any differently.

“Don’t you think I know that?” you snap back. 

“Liv–”

“Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. I’m 32, and I can’t sleep without a nightlight most nights because I wake up in a cold sweat. I can’t drop a glass without going into shock. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling his hands on me. Without feeling disgusting and worthless, and…” You can feel the shiver traveling up your spine from the thought alone. “I can’t exist without feeling like he should have killed me when he got the chance.” 

“Liv, I know you’re upset, but please, don’t say that,” Claire says, her voice gentle yet assertive.

“Why? It’s true. I wish he would’ve killed me. He took four years of my life that I can never get back. At least if he’d killed me I wouldn’t have to suffer now.”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want you saying things like that.”

“You don’t get it,” you say. “Every time I look in the mirror, I want to vomit because I see what he made of me. I can’t even meet a nice guy and allow myself to like him without seeing his face and hearing his stupid voice in my ear, telling me—telling me that no one will ever love me, that he tainted me, and that I will never be free of him because I can’t exist without him.” You break into a sob. 

“And he was right, you know,” you cry. “I ran from him. I made the hardest decision of my life after years of living in his shadow, and I almost died. Because of him, I can’t trust a kind and respectful man who treats me like a person to actually be kind, and I recoil at the thought of someone being gentle with me. Something is seriously broken inside of me, Claire. Very, very broken.”

Claire opens her mouth, but all she can do is bear your tirade. She knows that if she speaks now, you will find another reason to shut her down. This is your pain talking. It’s a powerful avalanche set out to cause destruction on a global scale.

“With Matt, I—” you exhale. “I was myself around him for the first time since I ran away, and he didn’t shy away. I had hope, Claire. I felt like I could finally step into normal life again after settling down here, and I thought I’d have a chance,” you say. “But I just have to close my eyes, and John is right there to ruin everything for me. He is always right there, and I can’t fucking escape him. That’s the problem. That’s why I can’t be happy about this date because I’m fucking terrified. I can’t go through this again. I—I can’t give myself to someone again because there is hardly anything left of me. He took everything, including my ability to love another man ever again, and that thought is fucking with my head.”

You fall silent. The tears continue running down your cheeks, and you bury your face in your hands. Your knees are so weak. You don’t have it in you to hold yourself up any longer. You drop to the carpet, crying into your hands, but you don’t sob. You stay silent because your pain is so great, you don’t know whether to scream or shut down, so you scream internally and shut down from the world around you because you can’t face it. You can’t face Claire. 

The couch creaks. Her feet brush against the carpet. “He abused you,” her voice borders above a whisper. 

She kneels beside you, her hand reaching out—but not touching you. She knows what lines to cross and which to better leave untouched.

“What he did to you wasn’t your fault. He’s a cruel man with cruel intentions.” When you don’t shy away from her proximity, she finally places her hand on your shoulder. “You did the impossible. You survived. You’re here now because you chose to save yourself, and that is so admirable,” she says. “It’s been two years. You’re safe here, you’re not alone anymore, and I know it hurts and it is terrifying, but it’s a good sign that you want to feel more of what this guy made you feel.”

“But I can’t,” you choke out. 

“I know, and I wish I could help you, but I’m not a professional. The truth is, John may have made you feel like there is nothing left of you, but you’re not Olivia Clarke. You’re still you. You’re still…” Claire takes a deep breath before she utters your name. Your real name. The one you were given when you were born. 

The mention of your name makes you shiver. “She’s gone,” you say. “He killed her, but he left her body alive.”

“She’s not gone, she’s just buried very fucking deep. I mean, you said it yourself. You could be yourself around this other guy, and he took you for who you are. That isn’t Olivia, that’s you. And it’s such a good sign that you want to go out with him. That you like him. John hurt you, but he didn’t break you beyond repair. Please, you have to remember that.”

Your tears slowly subside. Her words finally manage to reach your rebelling mind through your ears. Even though everything feels like it has been wrapped in cotton, she manages to get through to you like no one else. It was a subconscious decision to come to her, but perhaps your soul knew something that you didn’t, and you can’t say that opening up didn’t help. 

The mess slowly subsides. Left behind is nothing but hot air, and the words Claire decided to share with you. 

You look up to meet her eyes. She smiles down at you. “I just… I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” you whisper.

“That’s why I think you should go on that date,” she tells you.

“Yeah, but who wants to sign up for a mess like me?”

“Seems like he does. And if he’s a good guy, he’ll like you regardless of your mess.”

“You know it’s not that easy.”

She shrugs. “I hate to break it to you, but you can’t pretend it never happened. And you can’t give John the satisfaction of putting your life on hold because of him. That’s just giving him what he wants.”

“I don’t want to give him what he wants,” you’re quick to answer.

Claire hands you a tissue, and you take it gratefully, wiping your runny nose and the salty tears stuck to your dry skin.

Her words stir something within you; even though you don’t want her to be right, she is. Matt may not deserve a mess like you, but if he’s truly a good guy, it can’t hurt to see if it would work between you. And when your past comes out eventually, there is a chance that he won’t abandon you. A slight chance, but a chance nonetheless. That’s a positive outlook you still have to learn how to adapt.

“C’mon.” Claire helps you off the floor and onto the couch. 

You reach for the bottle of wine instantly, but she takes it away from you. She screws the top back on and places it aside, far out of your desperate reach.

“This is not the answer,” she says, “talking is.”

“Can’t we talk and have wine?” you counter.

“Not when you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown.”

You sniff, wiping the remaining tears on your cheeks with the tissue. 

“We need to take care of you, and alcohol won’t fix your problems.”

Once again, she isn’t wrong. You let out a defeated sigh before dropping your head in her lap. 

A long time ago, you used to be an affectionate person. The fear of being hurt again, of someone raising their hand against you, took that away from you. With Claire though, it’s different. You know she won’t hurt you. She’s not that kind of person, and you can say that with complete certainty. 

Claire Temple is not a violent human being, except for when the people she loves are in danger, but only then. 

She gently brushes the hair out of your face and crumbles it into a messy bun at the back of your head. She wipes at your nose and the last of your tears before they can dry out your skin more than it already is. The past couple of days have taken an emotional and physical toll on you. 

You wince slightly when you notice how sore your nose is. It isn’t broken, but you still got hit. You’re not quite healed yet. A shiver rolls down your spine. 

Shaking her head, Claire gently removes her hand. “You always get yourself in trouble when I’m not around,” she mutters. 

You scoff softly. “Maybe that’s a sign.”

“A sign for you to be more careful, yeah,” she says. 

“Now, where would be the fun in that?” You try to joke, but your voice falls flat with the weight of your exhaustion. 

Claire offers you a chuckle, but it’s more of a pity laugh than anything else.

You sigh. You know that you’re not an example when it comes to the significance of making the right decisions. Not at all. 

“Did I ever thank you for saving my life?” you ask her then, breaking the silence between you in two.

She leans back against the cushions. “Once or twice.”

“Not nearly enough then.”

“I don’t know about that. I mean, if you hadn’t come into Metro General with your hand in a man’s chest cavity, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to help you. You chose to stay.”

“Well, I had my hand on his vena cava, so, letting go would have been unfortunate for the poor guy.”

“That’s true.”

“But if you hadn’t disobeyed protocol, risking your job by putting your trust in me, I wouldn’t have had a reason to stay.”

Claire looks down at you, and you meet her eyes. “That sounded a lot like a love confession,” she nudges you.

You roll your eyes playfully. “You wish.”

“Hey, I’d understand it if you were in love with me. I’m hot.”

She never fails to make you laugh, even when you feel like a truck has rolled you over and broken every bone in your body. That is one of the many qualities you value about her. She’s a good person with a good heart, and she is the kind of person you could trust with your life and she would always make sure that you come out on the other side unharmed, mentally and physically. 

If she hadn’t taken you under her wing, you’re not sure where you would be, but it surely wouldn’t be where you are now.

When your laughter quiets down, you nod. “I can’t argue with that. You are hot. If you weren’t my friend,” you say, “I’d ask you out.”

“And if I were into women, I’d say yes,” she says. 

“I appreciate that.”

“Speaking of dates though–” She stops when you sigh a little too loudly. Claire shoots you a stern glare before she continues, “Promise me you won’t cancel.”

It’s not a question, it’s a statement. She wants you to mean it. You won’t lie; canceling your plans with Matt did cross your mind, but after Claire worked her magic on you, you can see a little clearer. The fog that kept your mind clouded has started to lift slowly but steadily. You’re no longer spiraling as fast as you have before. 

If you could wash your hands and wash him off of you, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem as it is, but you’ve tried. You have tried washing all memory of him off of your body, out of your mind, but he’s a resilient son of a bitch. John will always try to drive a wedge between you and a normal, happy life, the question is just if you will allow him to do so without even being near you, or if you will finally allow yourself to crawl out of the dark hole he tossed you into. 

You can’t do it alone, and asking for help is terrifying. You have spent the past two years trying to push through. Unfortunately, your healthy coping mechanisms won’t work forever. 

You sigh again, a little quieter. “I won’t cancel,” you tell her, your voice barely above a whisper, yet still so very certain. As certain as you can be, anyway. 

“Thank you.” Claire reaches for the wine bottle next to the couch. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Hm,” you can only murmur. 

“What?”

“What are you doing with the bottle?” you ask. 

“Drinking,” she says. 

“Now I feel betrayed.”

“You should celebrate the fact that you found a Matt, or whatever his name is, and not another Mike.”

You promptly sit up. “Hold up. Pause. Rewind. Mike, like your ex?”

Claire takes a sip of the bottle. A storm rages behind her hazel eyes. You have never seen her that conflicted before. 

“Is he the personal reason why you’re subjecting yourself to a constant allergic reaction by staying here?” you ask. 

The pieces slowly start falling into place. She nods. “Not Mike Mike, but yeah. It’s always the Mike’s.”

Your jaw drops. “I feel like you skipped some chapters there. You met a guy and you didn’t tell me? What–”

“He met me,” she corrects you. “I didn’t tell you because we’re not a thing. Let’s just say there’s a reason his name is Mike. That’s why I’m here.”

Claire takes another sip. You watch her closely, trying to catch her in a lie, but it seems like she’s telling the truth—or a version of the actual truth, but that still makes it true. She’s giving you as much as she can after you cried your eyes out to her. 

You clear your throat, lowering your voice. “But you’re not in danger?” you ask to clarify. 

She shakes her head. “I just have shitty taste in men, even if it's platonic, apparently. It’s like… I’m trying to exist, and then I find a stray cat in a dumpster, but the stray cat has been stabbed and needs medical attention.”

“But you’re allergic to cats and you’re not a vet?” you try to make sense of her analogy. 

When she lets out a sigh and nods, you figure you came as close as possible. It still doesn’t make sense to you, but when does anything? At least when it comes to romance and people’s love lives.

You decide to push a little more, “Did you actually find an injured guy in a dumpster?” 

She shakes her head. The reaction comes a little fast, but you don’t question it. “No, that–that was just an analogy,” Claire says. 

“And Mike is the stray cat in that analogy? But not your Mike, another Mike?”

“Yeah.”

“Dude, you’re frying my brain cells.”

“The single one you still have, or did you buy new ones?”

You try not to laugh, trying to look like you are genuinely offended, but your lips still curl up into a smile. “Shut up,” you mutter. You reach for the bottle, against better judgment, and take a sip.

Claire shakes her head. “What I’m trying to tell you is that, if he’s a good guy, you can’t let him slip away. You can’t let a good thing slip away and possibly end up with a–a Mike kinda guy for the rest of your life.”

“I know.” You look down at your hands, your broken fingernails, and sore knuckles from the constant scrubbing. “I just wish I could understand what he’s doing to me without questioning my entire existence.”

“Some people are just that enigmatic,” and she sounds as if she knows exactly what she’s talking about. 

You wonder about Mike. Not her ex-boyfriend but the one she mentioned. He sounds like he has no sense of self-preservation, and he may not even be a good influence. He reminds you of yourself, and that’s creepy—you don’t even know him. 

And then there is Matt, who is also so eerily similar to you, but in different ways. It’s more of an emotional connection. His heart is in the right place. And unlike the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, he doesn’t have a savior complex.

Why did he even come to your mind? His existence should not be playing into the equation. You brush the picture of his chiseled chest in that tight shirt away, or the way he looked even more dangerous with that smirk below the the mask. 

You hand the wine bottle back to Claire. If you don’t cut yourself off now, you will melt into a puddle of embarrassment. 

Your focus should be on Matt and Matt alone. You have to try. Claire was right. You can’t sacrifice your happiness because you’re scared—you can’t give the man who dedicated his life to breaking you and your confidence down the satisfaction of cowering in fear every time a man shows an interest in you. A good man. A man who could make you happier than he ever had. 

You won’t run this time. You will face the situation head-on. You owe that much to the little girl who dreamed of a life beyond the hell she grew up in, the same girl who was obsessed with finding her soulmate and still believed in true love. Above everyone, you owe it to yourself. No one else matters quite as much as you do. 

And for the sake of seeing what could be instead of wondering what could have been, you have to try.

Tag List: @shiorimakibawrites @allllium @siampie @auroraslibrary @roseallisonparker @abucketofweird @thatonegamefish @capylore @kniselle @sumo-b98 @peachstarliight @danzer8705 @kakamixo @littlehappyperson @atemydadforbreakfast @stevenknightmarc @zheezs14 @shouldbestudying41 @kiwwia-wiwwia

[the-dawn-star]

Helloooo it’s me again hehe! Is it possible if you can do an imagine for the the volturi kings in which they meet their last living descendant. Like she is a teen (orphaned) and was included in the tour and Marcus suddenly snapped to her direction since he can see bonds. He saw that somehow she is a descendant to all the three kings. He immediately offered Aro his hand who all too eagerly took it. And her personality can be like a mixed of the three she can be a bit playful like Aro, easily angered like Caius, and calm like Marcus. When they realize she was living in an orphanage they adopt her lol.

Thankkk you so much :))

A/N: Hi! First, I know that they aren't related really, but let's just pretend that they are for this post. And second, I love this idea, and I kind of picked what elements I took to my writing.

-S

+ 700ish words.

Getting vacations were rare when you lived in a room that had six other kids living with you. But this was your time to relax.  

You had earned enough money to travel around Europe for your 17th summer.  

Most people were concerned with a 17 year old traveling themselves but nothing could ruin your mood.  

You had done so much work for the opportunity to travel, and you found yourself at a nice town in Italy. 

Walking down the main street you saw a tour guide group, while the guide told something about the water fountain. And you couldn’t help but to stay and listen to the history of the town.  

You knew that you couldn’t afford whatever the guide was asking for, so you kept yourself out of sight at the back of the group.  

The group moved from the water fountain to the church in the middle of the city.  

So many stairs and hallways, only to end up in a marble hallway with massive wooden double doors.  

You let out a gasp as the doors opened into a massive room full of people in black robes.  

Someone let out a scream, and then a loud stop.  

You turned to look at the direction of the sound and saw all the people in the room confused.  

You had learned the basics of the Italian language, but you couldn’t decipher the fast pace of what was happening by three men who didn’t have the black robes on but weren’t clearly part of the tour group.  

And within a second the three men were looking at you, even if you were at the back of the room. 

A man with dark silky black hair said something again in Italian, and a hand wrapped itself around my arm. The next second you were in a different room that was something between a library and a living room.  

You didn’t know what to think, you had been just taken away against you will to a room in a place that you weren’t sure what it was. 

So you just sat on the sofa that you had been set on, by whoever took you arm by the man’s command.  

 You didn’t know what to do and to do your exhausting trip and the comfy sofa, you fell asleep.  

When you woke up there came a long explanation. 

You were a descendant of three God old vampires who were the kings of their species, and two of them had powers above the whole vampire thing.  

The night had fallen by the time you were caught up to speed. But still, there was million other things you were confused and tired of.  

Aro (who had most of the talking) held his hand to me, not forcing you but simply asking.  

“Now you know us, but we do not know much about you.”  

Aro was a bit creepy, but it was clear that came from being out of contact with humans for so long. Actually, that held up with all of them.  

You laid your hand to Aro’s palm and he took a hold of it with both of his hands.  

When Aro finally let go of your hand his red eyes were full of sorrow.  

“Your life has been something that no human should go through, nonetheless our descendants.”  

You couldn’t say anything, someone finally said what you had wished for so long. Someone saying that you didn’t deserve to go through the death of your parents.  

You blinked away the tears and covered your mouth with your hand.  

“We would like to get to know you officially if you are comfortable with that.” Marcus said and smiled for the first time since you had seen him.  

“You can stay here as long as you would like, I’m sure a little vacation wouldn’t hurt. And we will be sure that you are safe and comfortable with your stay.” Aro had a small sad smile on his lips, and I couldn’t help but nod. 

[dear-someone-letterstomyself]

Okay.

So.

This is what I imagine is gonna play out.

Tommy shows up for Maddie and Chims wedding, takes his seat and waits patiently. Things seem to be taking a long time and Evan isn’t responding to his texts… Odd but whatever, weddings run late, it happens so he doesn’t panic or anything. Suddenly someone sits next to him, that’s right, it’s Josh, they make some small talk, but as things continue to be delayed they end up having some nice long conversations.

Shit ensues, eventually Chim is found, JUST in time for them to have their ceremony. Right after Buck immediately runs off to find Tommy and Eddie feels a little twinge at that… even tho he also needs to go find Marisol and Christopher, he still has a teeny moment of… is that…abandonment??

Later at the reception Buck does in fact get to dance with Tommy, it’s magical, but once again, Eddie feels… something… he should be dancing with Marisol, he should be feeling a kind of way about his own relationship in this romantic atmosphere but instead it feels like all he can do is watch the two men slow dance…

The wedding passes and Buck and Tommy continue to date, Eddie begins to avoid hanging out with the two of them, Buck notices that he’s getting weird… and an inevitable (probs heated) confrontation ensues.

No cheating happens but everything gets laid out on the table, suddenly everything between the two of them becomes absolutely crystal clear… Buck has a difficult conversation with Tommy, who actually totally understands and to a certain extent thought this was going to happen sooner, Eddie has a conversation with Marisol (if she’s still around… tbh I dunno how long term she seems…..) she’s obvs sad but also to a certain extent gets it…

Then after all affairs are in order, probably a natural disaster/major fire related event or something delays this to the point where the tension is unbearable… Buck and Eddie finally get to be together.

AND we don’t lose Tommy because remember that nice conversation he had with Josh at the wedding?? Yeah he happens to run into him again after the Buck breakup and they really, really hit it off, because you know what Josh deserves? A soft sweet romance with someone who understands his world and who better than soft sweet Tommy Kindard 🥰

…. Anyways I really think I’ve connected the dots here…. Y’all are welcome…. ✌🏼

[nicka-nell]

Pairing: Suna x reader, Semi x reader, best friend Atsumu x reader

Note: Rockstar/Band-AU, angst, hurt, mdni, SMAU

Prev | Chapter 7 | Next

Atsumu is already sitting in your favorite bar in a private room, away from any fans who might see him. He’s ordered a beer while he’s waiting for you and your new lover to finally arrive. Are you happy with Semi? Does he treat you well? Well, it wouldn’t be hard to treat you better than Suna did in the end… However, Semi is also successful... What if he does something similar to you, like Suna? Yet Suna regrets it… even if it's too late.

One day he was at Suna’s house, mad as he wanted to knock on his door and pull him out of the apartment because he hadn’t shown up for rehearsal once again, but before he could knock, all he heard was the rattling of some object, and then a whimper from Suna. Almost as if he was crying... followed by the words “Please come back.” Totally unusual for the otherwise so indifferent guy. That was the only day Atsumu went back to band practice without picking up Suna.

Should he perhaps have told Suna that he was still in contact with you? No, he had promised not to tell Suna anything. Even if he's worried for Suna's mental state, he would always stick to your side. He would protect you from more harm.

Sighing, Atsumu swirls his beer and tilts his head back as the door to the VIP room opens and you enter the room with Semi at your side. You take off the mask, cap and glasses that have protected you from unwanted paparazzi or fans as you run up to Atsumu with a beaming smile and hug him.

“Tsumu! We’re finally seeing each other again!” Your voice is whiny, but he can hear the joy in it as well. Semi, who is standing behind you, takes a step forward and extends his hand to politely introduce himself to Atsumu before you all sit down and order fresh drinks. 

Atsumu is sitting on the opposite side of you. Semi and you took a seat on a spacious leather lounger, big enough to fit several people. And yet Semi sits close to you, his hand gently on your thigh as you lean against him.

It was a bit like watching a k-drama. The drinks came and you had looked over from your drink to Semi's a little frustrated. Semi, who was taking a sip of his drink, saw the look on your face and held the glass out to you with a "would you like to try?". Happily, you took a sip. It was obvious that his drink tasted better to you. Semi had also tasted yours, wasn't really convinced with it, but he smiled and just said "Yours isn't bad either. You wanna swap?" How pleased he seemed that your eyes began to shine, as you accept his drink. Atsumu lets out a soft, pleased sigh.

“Soooo ya turned my bestie’s head? Must be a genuinely good dude if she simps about ya like that.” Atsumu grins and raises his beer in a gesture as if to toast, before bringing it to his lips and taking a generous swig of the bitter drink.

“Well, actually, she turned my head pretty well.” Semi laughs sheepishly. He looks over at you, almost shy for such a big man. “Yeah I know, she’s already told me a bit about ya. Treat her well, kay?” Atsumu’s last words are barely louder than a whisper, but Semi understands them and nods.

Silence falls for a second and you feel yourself getting a little nervous. Will the two men get along? Yet the worry quickly fades as the two men start talking about everything related to music. Until Semi gets up and leaves the room briefly to go to the bathroom. Now you are alone with Atsumu and you can guess what question is coming,

“Semi... I mean Eita... he seems like a really nice guy.” Atsumu starts and looks over at the door. “Yeah... he’s really great. He makes me feel like he’s backing me, supporting me...” Just like Suna used to be... except now you’re not even sure if Suna really supported you back then, or if he just did it to take advantage of you until he achieved his goal.

“Ya know, I think it gotta be good for y’all... for ya and Rin if ya could talk things out. If ya could make amends with the issue. I don’t wanna sugar-coat what he did. It was simply shitty and backstabbing. But I can see the band falling apart… Day after day, I see how much Rintarou suffers from all this, how he blames himself over and over again.” Atsumu finds it difficult to find the right words. How can he defend someone for whom fame was more important than a friendship, a dream, a love for another person?

“If ya wanna talk-” Just as he is about to continue, the door opens again and Semi walks back in, causing Atsumu to fall silent. The musician isn’t stupid. He immediately notices that something is wrong. That you were talking about something he probably shouldn’t hear. Casually, he sits back down on the seat next to you, puts his arm lightly over your shoulder and smiles at you before looking at your friend.

“What were you two talking about?” he asks without any malicious, ulterior motives. But Atsumu is unsure whether he can tell the truth. Maybe you didn’t tell Semi about the band, about being kicked out? Although... actually he would probably have found out in the news at the latest… After all, that was one of the biggest headlines nearly a year ago.

“We were just talking about my ex. You know, Rintarou.” You say calmly in reply and suddenly Atsumu shows surprise, glances over at your new lover. Semi just nods understandingly. There is no hint of jealousy in his gaze. No negative thoughts. Instead, he shows interest and, above all, composure.

“Wow... you’re handlin’ it real well. Most dudes would freak out if their gal talked bout their ex.” Most people get at least a little jealous, or maybe insecure, but not Semi. Atsumu is impressed by his calmness and the way he deals with the topic.

“Perhaps, but you know... Y/n told me everything and I’m thankful for that. We are taking things really slowly. Trust doesn’t build up again overnight after such a nasty incident. She knows that she has my full support and that I will wait, no matter how long. Right?” Semi says and looks over at you with a gentle smile, stroking your arm lightly with his hand, which is still over your shoulder while you return his smile and lean against him.

Atsumu is relieved... you look really happy, and Semi seems to be genuinely serious about you. Perhaps you should keep Suna’s number blocked after all. It’s probably better if you two don’t talk in the end. If Suna simply learns to deal with the pain and forgets about you.

“Should I get us some more drinks, or should we pay?” Semi’s voice interrupts Atsumu’s thoughts as he looks at his fifth empty beer glass. Maybe he should leave it at that. After all he has another band rehearsal tomorrow. You too, look a little tired. 

“I think that’s it for me today.” Atsumu wails and you also seem to nod tiredly, wanting to reach for your wallet, but Semi stops you. “It’s all good. I’ll pay for us today. I’ll go ahead... you can have a chat with Atsumu before you join me again.” After his kind words, a quick kiss on the temple follows before he stands up, puts his cap and mask back on, takes his glasses and leaves the room to pay at the counter.  

By now the club is really busy and Semi has to wait quite a while for his turn to pay. It takes him several minutes to get his credit card back and to put his card back into his pocket before he turns towards the VIP rooms to see if you’re coming out. Yet a voice makes him flinch and draws his attention in the opposite direction.

“Semi... Semi Eita? Is that you?”

[clownawnie]

Pathologic 2 thoughts now that i finished it

After a very long 52, nearly 53 hours, I finally finished Pathologic 2. These are my thoughts and feelings after finishing it and how it impacted me as a mixed indigenous person. I am Māori not Buryat so my perspective is just from growing up as a mixed person and not anything culturally specific.

Also! This will be all over the place, this is less of a structured analysis and more so just me jotting down my feelings and experiences with the game just to get them out there. I briefly go over the endings so spoilers for that i guess

Okay to start I really enjoyed Pathologic 2, it's truly a one of a kind experience. I played on an easier difficulty because I wanted to experience the story first (I do plan to replay the game at the intended difficulty at a later date) but it still felt challenging, I was definitely not having a walk in the park and it was for the best. I struggled a lot as someone going in mostly blind to Patho 2. I was very adamant about not using guides and while it added to my experience of the game it also caused me to fuck up and die a lot. (the first 16 hours or so were from my first attempt which failed miserably) 

I really enjoyed the gameplay, despite initially being overwhelmed by the size of the town I found it easier to navigate in the latter half of the game. I personally love games where you just collect stuff and searching through drawers and dressers for random coins and buttons was very fun for me. Walking around and just admiring the scenery was quite relaxing (when I wasn’t being chased by men with knives). The clunky combat wasn’t a deal breaker for me but the lack of aim reticle did make it hard to actually hit people consistently with the gun but eh that wasn’t really a problem. It did take an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out certain mechanics (like sneaking) I also love a lot of the characters, although I have a very clear favourite.

  Artemy very quickly became a character that was dear to me. I heavily related to him as a mixed Indigenous person who used to be close with their culture but now feels disconnected as an adult. Seeing him struggle with language, struggling to remember the right terms and the customs that used to come easily to him. Having a foot in two worlds but unsure of where you belong in either of them. He’s just like me fr. I immediately got invested in Artemy’s story and it made me try my hardest to play his part well. I love imagining myself acting as the player characters in games and it seemed fitting for Pathologic 2.

This personal investment in Artemy made certain parts of the games very difficult for me emotionally. There were many moments during the game when I had done something wrong and it struck me hard. Playing Pathologic 2 felt less like controlling a character and more like being the character, I wasn’t controlling Artemy I was Artemy. Every time I messed up it hurt. I was failing, doing a poor job filling in the role and because of it those closest to Artemy, to me, were getting sick.

I remember the first time one of the characters got infected, it was notkin. He was infected after going into the death house, I remember how my face dropped seeing Notkin all wrapped up and sickly. I was panicked when I realised Murky’s friend wasn’t just the girl's imagination but an embodiment of the plague and I felt absolutely lost on day 10 finding all of the kids infected with only 5 cures on me.

Overall I loved the story, I love things that can make me feel so much dread and pain and Pathologic 2 very much did that. However, I’m very conflicted on both endings. I played through both of them one after the other and I’m unsure how I feel about them.

I knew nothing about the endings when going into the game so I had no expectations but around day 9 or 10, after the talk with Isidor in the dream did I realise where the game was heading and it made me upset. For some background, I have struggled alot with where i stand in the world in terms of identity, being mixed can feel so isolating and i struggled alot with feeling like i couldn’t fit in with either side. I’ve been dealing with this over the years and feel more comfortable with both parts of my identity, not having to pick one or the other and existing as both. So i felt an awful feeling in my gut when i realised the story was pulling me, that i would have to make a decision town or kin. It felt cruel to make artemy pick between his two halves.

The endings themselves i’m torn on. I don’t particularly like either ending very much, maybe my feelings will change when i’ve had more than 24 hours to stew on my thoughts.

The diurnal ending left me feeling quite empty, I saved the town but killed the earth, assimilating the kin into the town and leaving no room for the past. The idea of the past and the future being incompatible pains me.

The framing of the nocturnal ending made me feel odd. It's the preservation of the past, of miracles. But it felt so… horrific… seeing people, children wandering out into the steppe. People artemy was closest to unable to even recognise him. It was framed much darker than the diurnal ending, it made siding with the kin feel like i had made a mistake. Im unsure if this was the intention of the ending but its how it felt. Maybe I’ll dissect the endings in greater detail at another date after hearing more perspectives from other players.

Overall, I am glad i played pathologic, despite my torn feelings on the endings I do deeply enjoy the game, the world and the characters and i can’t wait to play through it all again. I want to 100% the game, see everything it has to offer, achieve what feels like the impossible and save everyone.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

New week! Some replies related to recent posts.

Anonymous asked:

Do you happen to have an archiveofourown account? I would LOVE to read any stories you have on your aus --coughs Azul Idia marriage au--

Hehe I’m glad you’re interested in our aus and this au in particular, Anon!! <3 Super happy to hear that.

But unfortunately, the only information on any of our aus is posted here under the tag. We don’t really write them as fanfics, and the stories mostly exist in our heads, with me drawing comics with certain scenes every now and then… anything other than that just requires too much work and dedication. I’d love to make a doujin out of it one day though :”)

Katsu does have an ao3 acc! But almost never uses it, and there’s nothing about our aus there.

Anonymous asked:

Ahh! I just saw your latest FemRook/Vil sketch and muah! chef kiss ! even your sketches are fabulous! You post a lot of that particular night with the dresses/formalwear is there a story going on there or? Does our huntress/hunter just loves to shower Vil in love regardless of what they wearing

(this is about a sketch in the 🔑🔞 acc)

Thank you so much, Anon!! I am very happy you liked it! <3

All of the sketches with them in these outfits are definitely supposed to represent one specific night; I just had a bunch of horny ideas and kept coming back to draw them every now and then lol There isn’t much of a story though: Rook accompanied Vil to some fancy ceremony, both looking elegant and proper, but then things went the way they usually do with these two lol

But the huntress really does shower Vil in love no matter the outfit <3

Now, a couple of asks about the suckers comic….

Anonymous asked:

finally putting some respect on the service and hard work the bottoms provide

Yes! Well-deserved treatment, finally, after all this disrespect.

Anonymous asked:

Love that Vil is not even denying it but is more worried about his reputation.... And how do they know who is the best sucker among them?

As much as I love Idia, those teeth are pointy. He must have lots of practice to be safe

Vil knows he isn’t fooling anyone, I think it’s an open secret that he is the most experienced one… at least in this particular group. Mostly because he is the only one who doesn’t hide that he is into men + kind of has a boyfriend… Like all of it is true but you shouldn’t imply it openly like that! His reputation! 😭

Yeah I don’t think Idia would be upset to learn that he is the least likely to be trusted with a dick to suck lol Despite the fact that I draw him in all kinds of sexual situations, I don’t think he is much of a sucker…

Anonymous asked:

OMG HAHAAH THAT BEST SUCKER AWARD IS SO FUNNY

also specially cause all the characters in that team are in the list of your BOTTOMS lmao

💚

This was such a hilarious coincidence, Anon lol When they showed this group, I said “oh no” out loud because there is no way this isn’t going to be a disaster. And indeed it was…

I can’t believe these four bitches had zero actual progress with their task and instead spent god knows how many hours arguing about who is the biggest sucker out of all of them 😭

A couple of asks related to dark hcs lists posted this weekend!

Anonymous asked:

No one but Lilia knows about it because to Lilia it was an “oops, maybe they won’t notice” moment.

This feels horrifyingly canon. Maybe not with sex per se, but with him doing something to Malleus/Silver/Sebek that ended up really affecting them and that being his reaction.

Yeah, he at least witnessed some of the things that he should’ve paid more attention to but brushed it off either because he didn’t really know how important it was or because he didn’t really feel like doing something about it… Of course, he is a caring guardian and all, but Lilia has his moments of questionable judgment.

Anonymous asked:

ahh you know what i can also see ace hiding deuce away by convincing him he’s just useless without him, and he’s better off at home letting ace take care of him. at least he’s decent at keeping house and helping ace unwind usually with blowjobs almost like a good house wife husband

Yeah, exactly! With how hopeful and hardworking Deuce is, it’s so heartbreaking seeing him losing his determination and accepting this fate… so deliciously depressing <3 All the things that Ace would say would piss Deuce off at first, but after some time, he’d really start believing him. Or maybe he believed it all along and was just in denial about it?

Anyways, Ace knows how to get under his skin…

[formerheroeswhoquittoolate]

fall of x is over and I have FINALLY figured out how to articulate what pissed me off so much about the whole talon/synch thing. because obviously it pissed me off a lot. and that's because it was Fucking Boring Romance when the other option was not boring.

now, granted, I am extremely aromantic and asexual, so this may in fact be a side effect of me not being able to relate to most romantic plots. so take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt. anyway on to the post.

okay so. laura and synch and darwin spent a couple centuries in the vault. synch gets out and the others don't. laura and darwin get resurrected. we are all on the same page.

synch and laura fell in love in the vault. I don't think I like it character-wise but they bonded romantically and it happened so. sure. four hundred years is a long-ass time. and it's kind of interesting? laura hasn't really had a romantic relationship since teen!warren went back to his own time, and synch has been dead for fucking ever. *benoit blanc voice* it makes no damn sense. compels me though.

synch remembers it, laura doesn't, and they're on the x-men together. this would probably have been an interesting time for them to have some tension? synch probably knows way more about laura than anyone ever, and laura has literally no idea what or how much he knows. something about her has changed but it's impossible to tell what it is because she doesn't know what happened in the vault. duggan touched on this once and then just sort of ignored it. they could have had to reconcile this? synch, a lost love he will literally never experience anything like ever again. laura, a complete stranger who somehow knows everything about her. synch probably barely remembers this laura, anyway. laura can literally smell when people are attracted to her. this is, quite possibly, the most interesting ending to a rather bland "they were the only two people in the world" love story I could conceive of.

and instead. the problem is removed from the story. synch is no longer in love with a version of laura that doesn't exist, because she does exist now, actually, and talon takes laura's place on the team. off laura goes to x-force to be slotted into the role of daughter rather than unwilling object of romantic interest.

the problem doesn't get solved, it gets erased. and that's what pissed me off so much about it. it was a fascinating problem! it was reducing one of my favorite characters to a very unremarkable role but it was still an interesting problem. it had potential. (it even had potential to fix that reduction and actually address laura from a character perspective, but that's another ramble.) the route duggan took was, almost completely, the most boring possible route. at least laura had a conversation with talon. the problem is not solved. the problem is not solved! nothing is resolved! the answer to "what will laura and synch end up being to each other?" is "fucking nothing, actually, because talon is here now and everything is okay" and it's STUPID.

okay that's mean. it's not stupid but it is boring. bad answer. does nothing for laura or synch (or talon, either, but she's so aggressively apathetic about laura that it's really hard to say anything about her without accidentally starting a whole unrelated ramble.) the romance took priority over the relationship. and That's why I'm pissed about it. (well aside from my love of laura.) there was a more interesting, character-development-inducing, potentially emotionally fraught option and they chose a fairly bland romantic relationship. and again, maybe this is my aroace ass and general inability to find romantic relationships compelling. but this feels like the worse of the two options.

[chaifootsteps]

(Patreon anon) Here's the last of what I have of my QnA archive, I don't plan to repledge so cheers to whoever uses their money to snitch like me.

-HB season 1 takes place within one year

-Wally Wackford won't appear much in season 2 but will be important in the future.

-Vivzie would love more Wally merch but her merch lead doesn't feel confident in it selling well.

-Vivzie hasn't consider making pride merch because "It's the kind of thing that big corporations to try to appeal to a generation they're not normally involved in."

-Vivzie claims the whole show is a celebration of pride and doesn't feel the need to make pride merch but would be down to making if there's a demand for it. (With the amount of fan merch I've seen, there is)

-She claims to do general research for the HH character time period but doesn't integrate the history into their backstories as of now.

-Viv's open to oversea convention appearances and has been trying to get a booking agent to travel more for European conventions.

-Paimon's a big shapeshifter and is only an owl because that's what he needs to be.

-There was a time where Vivzie hated Zoophobia, saying if something doesn't work out, keep trying new projects that excite you.

-One hell year equals a lot of Earth years, so stolas existed well before 1985.

-Vivzie actually loves Mammon's design, she conceptualized it and had someone else finalize it. Sort of like how Oz was designed by someone on the team with Vivzie finalizing it.

-Vivzie wanted to show men can be abused too with Stolas

-Jeremy Jordan might join be cast by Vivzie since she knows him

-Stella may not want Stolas dead right away anymore, just at a later time. (This was asked pre-Western Energy)

-It's currently unclear when we'll get HH merch with their full series designs since they're owned by A24. (This was months before the recall of that Sir Pentious keychain that used the full series design)

-At the time, they were aiming for a three month wait period between HB episodes for season 2.

-Unlike HH, HB isn't considered a musical to Vivzie but will have elements to it in season 2.

-Vivzie doesn't remember what the golden feathers in epsiode 6 meant. Adam saids the artist come up with a bunch of ideas.

-Sinners technically don't need food and water to live, it's mostly out of habit and indulgence. Electronic sinners like Vox find a way through cartoon logic.

-Because of how long episode 8 was taking, Vivzie and Adam have started making HB comics of what happens between the episodes. They're still figuring it out with HH.

-If Oz ever met Valentino, he would hate him. The team jokes that Val would be very "notice me senpai" with him.

-Stolas is confirmed to be 8ft tall with Blitz at 5ft.

-Fights between an overlord and a goetia would barely happen so Vivzie wouldn't know which one would win.

-Tilla was removed as a sibling because Blitz's family was still in the early works, she's going to be renamed.

-Vivzie doesn't have a specific favorite villain archetypes, she enjoys ruthless mean girls and dramatic, and theatrical messed up villains like The Joker.

-Episode 6's collaboration was fun for Vivzie but complicated because she had to manage an entire second team, There were file issues and they had to go back and forth to make sure they were correct.

-Vivzie's interested in making more Zoophobia merch but doesn't wish to for other older projects. She mentions it'd be hard to convince her merch lead that anyone would want to buy anything from her older works.

-Stolas does have guilt with his affair and he has a lot of turmoil related to it.

-Leviathan will have a cameo in season 2

-Vivzie can't give specifics but Stolas doesn't have many friends who we might see them in the future. Stella has two friends who at the moment of that QnA don't have names.

-White marks on Imps are scars, and can be added for aesthetics (Unsure if she means design wise or in-universe cosmetics, possibly both with how Barbie looks)

-Stolas's job is to look into the skies of Earth and find prophecies in them and inform Hell of what's to come in the future, he doesn't do much other than that.

-Oz has a broad range of powers, there were too many to list in the timespan of the QnA.

-Octavia takes after Stolas in that she's socially unaware, Vivzie claims she also unaware of her parents's relationship because of Stolas trying hard to make it seem things are fine and does that to a "good extent".

-we'll see what Octavia and Stella's relationship is like later.

-Vivzie would like to release an artbook bigger than their con-exclusive one for HB after season 2 and when the team is free to organize the production art, she's unable to do one for HH at the moment.

-DHORK will return

-She's still figuring out the sins but don't want them to be fallen angels since it doesn't matter in HB, but it will for HH. So she wants to wait until HH to decide. (Possible they figured it out with HH season 1 done)

-She finds people saying the childhood friends trope with Stolitz being fanservice frustrating. (As seen with her recent rant of the overall story)

-Vivzie adopted Pixel a year and a half after she graduated SVA. She didn't explain how she got Honeybee and Nugget.

-full quote "There would be demons from the ring of Lust who would be asexual, and they will get to that in the future. But she generally imagines that lust demons wouldn't think it'd that much of a taboo. Lust demons would generally be confused by the concept, but they wouldn't have any hate.

Asmodeus would be an example of someone who wouldn't understand asexuality"

-She would like region-free dvds of HB but it would require re-negotiations with everyone who was involved with the show, if they do release it, it'll be difficult to make it region-free.

-Stolitz didn't interact at all between the 25 years apart.

-She put a lot of her life into Loo Loo Land, and yes...Viv's dad was openly horny in front of her and her sisters growing up, Viv found it funny but like I told Lemon...There was no mention of how her sisters felt about it.

-Viv put aspects of herself into Octavia but claims to not be a self-insert. Fizz has an aspect that is directly from Viv that we'll see in season 2 that she feels needs to be shown.

-HB was spun off because IMP was originally for HH, with Vivzie thinking they were better off as their own thing. HB's also about exploring Vivzie's hell like the demons that possess people.

-HB/HH was inspired by Batman and various musicals with the idea that she wanted a worlds with nothing but villains.

-The fan interpretations of Andrealphus were pretty close to what she's written for him.

-Vivzie's interpretation of Stolas's "I used to think that I was bold, I used to think that love was for fun" is meant that he's never gotten the chance to experience true love with him being gay and he had an arranged marriage.

-She wants Stolas and Stella's relationship to be something that's debated.

-The Von Eldritches will not appear in HH season 1

-question "How did Viv get to where she was? How did she get Hazbin and Helluva produced?"

answer: "She has reps who set her up with people very interested in her show. It was the producers who pitched their interest in her. This is what happened with Hazbin in that production companies showed what they would do for that show. When A24 showed interest in Hazbin, that's when she started pitching it to others (No mention of that those others are)"

-The certificate on Loona's adoption paper was signed by Beelzebub.

-HH will have the same level of NSFW and dark as HB is at the time of season 2's beginning, (I'm not sure why people are thinking it'll be even more if she has to obey S&P with a TV show) she admits to not having a good gauge of what's too extreme as she just does what she wants to do to tell her story. HH is new territory since it's more story based than HB.

-YT doesn't allow the use of the word "cunt" so Mammon will be heavily censored with the amount of time he saids it. There's also a scene in HB that a storyboard artist went too extreme on and Vivzie was afraid it would be rejected but turned out to be okay. (This ask was in September 2022, she didn't mention which scene but if I had to guess it might have been the dildo room)

-Oz is aware of Fizz being an imp, but Vivzie doesn't know if it's an open fact and she might use it as a story element someday.

-Rosie is an overlord, that's all Vivzie can say when asked what kind of demon she is.

-At the time Vivzie was still figuring out how time works in hell, Sinners are stuck at the age they died as while Hellborns do age.

-Stolas would have thought of Blitz a lot after their day together and has a problem separating fantasy from reality, Blitz would have never thought of him.

-Blitz's horse obsession started as an inside joke among the team

-Vivzie can't say if season 2 will have a Stolitz kiss

-Episode 6's collab started 4-5 months before the episode came out, There's no plans for season 2 to have one but Vivzie would love to do it again.

-When asked if any new characters will join IMP in season 2 Vivzie said "Not this season!"

-Stolas can transform into other things, but Vivzie is still deciding if it's something he can do on his own or needs the grimoire for it.

-Vivzie uses Google sheets to write and takes the complete draft to something called Final Draft to finish it

-That white cyclops guy that shows up in Cherri Bomb's segment of Addict is likely to change but that's all Vivzie can say.

-Striker was confirmed to be a hybrid hellborn.

-The client giving birth button in episode 1 was an oversight on Vivzie's part but did say that IMP had hellborn clients before

-Any remaining reveals of HH characters will be minor characters from the pilot, the final reveal will be a brand new character. (This was before the Adam reveal, so he could have been the final one)

-The thing about the sins being a pseudo-family with "nice and asshole" ones were accurate to what's been told to you, same with them technically being goetias, they're just in a different category.

-We'll see Oz and Mammon's relationship in the middle of season 2.

-A lot of material things have been made in the greed ring, it's very industrial, full of banks, smoggy and crime ridden like that was seen in the Chaz episode.

-HH and HB are planned out but said that there's "wiggle room' in that they figure out as the show goes by how they get to the events.

-Vivzie's still deciding what special powers Striker would have as a hybrid.

-If Vivzie had unlimited funds, she would love to make a movie for HH and HB and to speed up her production pipeline. she had issues in 2022 with her working more on HH.

-Claims that HH will definitely come out in 2023, but she also mentioned season 2 of HB will have a more consistent release schedule at the same time.

-Vivzie would like to make a height chart for the HB characters but claims the team doesn't need one because they know the size of them already.

> Vivzie hasn't consider making pride merch because "It's the kind of thing that big corporations to try to appeal to a generation they're not normally involved in."

Says Vivzie as she can't put out Sallie Mae merchandise fast enough, despite her having one speaking line and about five seconds of screen time.

> -HH and HB are planned out but said that there's "wiggle room' in that they figure out as the show goes by how they get to the events.

She's flip-flopped on how planned out the show is so many times it's not even funny anymore.

> Stolas does have guilt with his affair and he has a lot of turmoil related to it.

Figures this was before both scenes where he says he has zero guilt and would feel bad if he thought he did something wrong but doesn't.

> -Stolas would have thought of Blitz a lot after their day together and has a problem separating fantasy from reality, Blitz would have never thought of him.

What a fascinating character trait that we were all looking forward to seeing more of after Blitzo told him off in Ozzie's and popped his delusional bubble! What a shame it was downgraded to "Stolas, as always, did nothing wrong."

> -She wants Stolas and Stella's relationship to be something that's debated.

Liar.

> -She put a lot of her life into Loo Loo Land, and yes...Viv's dad was openly horny in front of her and her sisters growing up, Viv found it funny but like I told Lemon...There was no mention of how her sisters felt about it.

> -Vivzie doesn't remember what the golden feathers in epsiode 6 meant. Adam saids the artist come up with a bunch of ideas.

Remember when we all thought that was important? Oh Vivzie, you fucking hack.

Thank you so much for all of these, Patreon Anon. Hopefully someone else will step into your shoes but for now know that you're braver than any Marine.

[pampushky]

Creature (Both Haunted & Holy)

Vinsmoke Sanji/Reader - Chapter 13 - 4.6k

You are haunted by what has happened to you. The boys tease Sanji.

ao3 | series masterlist | masterlist | next part

You hate the doctors, you’ve decided. You’re currently clutching Usopp’s hand as you sit in the lighthouse. It’s cozy enough, and the rest of the crew is sprawled around, nosily poking through a few different areas. Nami is on your other side, and Sanji stands behind your chair. His scent is comforting, and you find yourself reveling in it. 

Now, you’ve been to the doctors before, or rather, the healers. You’d even trained a bit as one— it was part of the Selken Isles schooling— before you were taken away. But, you were still miserable. The healer's rooms had been clean but cozy, with tea and warm cider ready to be made in the case of something upsetting happening. Your uncle, Remi, had been a great healer and had even snuck you and your siblings candies, had you behaved. Remi had also been speared on Arlong's sword for the offense of trying to stop the fishman from taking you.

But non-selken doctors… they were almost sterile, or cold. It scared you. The doctor of Cocoyashi had been kind, yes, everything felt freezing to your touch, with you whimpering when he had to touch you. It had felt like he was doing a chore, not helping you heal, even as he apologized. You did not often see eye to eye with many doctors, you realized. Crocus sat before you, adjusting his glasses in a nearly bored manner as he scribbled down a few things already, looking back up, and focusing on the two scars on your face. “How old are you currently?” 

“Uh…. I’m about eighteen. I was born in the winter, so… about eighteen and a half now?”

“And when was your last doctor’s appointment?” Crocus looks at you expectantly, and the woods die in your throat. “Your navigator only said things had been rough for you, for the last few years, so I assume before that?”

“Uh— yeah. Uhm. I don’t really recall, actually.” You scratch your neck nervously. You’re suddenly aware that all the crew— your pod— has come to circle you, watching you. The smell of anxiety is thick in the air, your anxiety, to be exact. You wish they didn’t have to be here for this, and are half tempted to ask them to leave. But they should know, your mind hisses, They need to know what you tricked them into. When they became your pod.

“I didn’t mean to trick them,” you argue with the voice in the back of your head.  “ When would I have told them?”

“Anytime before this. Perhaps before even your cycle,” you can almost picture the shadowy form of Arlong speaking to you, a hand wrapped around your neck as he stands behind your chair. “ You’re going to be nothing but a burden.”

You stop arguing. The voice is right about that. 

“Uh, I think it was a few months before I got taken?” You play off your pause as though you had been thinking, nervously smiling at the doctor, who only nods, and writes something down.

“Taken?” Crocus sets down his notepad and leans forward. “I’m aware that the selkenfolk are… uncommon, and that can relate to being sold into slavery.” You fidget in your chair, and Usopp squeezes your hand. You can hear how Sanji shifts behind you, and all you can imagine, despite the comforting scent of your crew around you, is Arlong’s form standing behind you, making sure you don’t say anything to condemn him. The doctor looks at the crew around you.

“You should go watch over your ship. The navigator can wait here with your boatswain,” Crocus juts his chin towards Nami. “Gods know what may be out there, waiting for the chance to take your ship.”

Begrudgingly, the men leave, with Sanji shooting a final concerned look over his shoulder as he closes the door. Nami folds her arms and sits on the chair beside you, eying the old man warily. 

“I just wanted to ask if you’d prefer to talk alone,” he stands from his chair, and makes his way to his kitchen, grabbing spices from the cabinets and setting the kettle on as he fills a small metal container. You can smell cinnamon, fennel seeds, fresh milk, and cardamom, among many others, as he makes something. “Your grandfather always liked talking one-on-one with a warm cup of tea.”

“Pell?” You squeak, surprised, and Nami holds your hand. “Wait— how’d you know he’s my grandfather?”

“He’s an old crewmate of mine, from our younger days.” Crocus puts a kettle on, and then leans against the counter, watching you. “You’re a spitting image of him, as was your mother, in his youth. You even wear your hair similar to his.” He laughs to himself a bit. “Besides— I’m partially Selken myself. My great-grandfather was of ringed-seal lineage. Gave me a keen sense of smell,” he taps his nose, “And your pelt smells of my old friend.”

You manage to stop your jaw from hanging too much, as he finishes up whatever he’s made. Crocus comes back with a steaming cup of what smells like a spicy milk tea, carefully handing it to you, and then offering another to Nami.

“I understand it’s probably a very hard thing to discuss, what happened to you. When the news of what happened to Seal’s Drop came here, I was devastated. I was your mother’s guardian when she was born.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead. “And I’m certain that it wasn’t pleasant, knowing what Selkenfolk are usually taken for.”

You only nod, and Nami bites her bottom lip, gripping your hand harder. Baggage. Nothing but a burden. Who would want you? Shadow-Arlong whispers, and you cringe. Crocus sighs, before setting his hands on his knees.

“I won’t need to do many physical examinations on you, you’re still underweight, just based on looking at you. I would like to weigh you and take some blood to do a few tests, but that’ll be all.” He walks over to a shelf, kicking out an electric scale from underneath it, while pulling a small set of needles and tubes. “Then we can talk about what you went through, which is why I wanted your friend here. You’ll need a good support system established on your crew. I’d outright recommend a therapist, but that can be rather difficult to find.”

Crocus leads you through the motions, asking before he does anything, and then explaining it thoroughly, as he performs each task. It makes it easier. You watch as he runs the blood tests, and writes down notes, putting them in a folder, your name across the front. 

“I’m assuming you have the same last name as Pell?” Crocus doesn’t even look up as he writes Blackfin beside your first name. “Memory serving me, it passes down from oldest to youngest, each parent taking a turn giving the last name starting with the oldest, correct?” 

“Yes,” you nod, “My sister took my Mama’s, and I got Mam’s. The twins were split.”

“Blackfin it is.” He turns around, looking at your weight on the scale, and motioning for you to go sit down again. “Settle in. We’re going to talk about what you went through. I’ll get more tea.” He stands, and you squish down into the couch, suddenly very aware of how much you’re about to drop on this poor man, who had shown you nothing but kindness. Nami squeezes your hand. 

“It’ll be okay,” She smiles at you.

“There’s stuff I haven’t even told you,” your voice comes out as a whisper. 

Ungrateful. Shadow-Arlong hisses, and you flinch. 

“I’ll never be mad at you for that,” her gaze softens, “Actually— I am sorry. About how I yelled at you earlier, when we were trying to get away from Laboon.”

“Who’s Laboon?”

“Oh, I guess you were passed out during that whole thing, uh, that’s the whale. It’s Luffy’s rival now.”

“What the fuck?”

And Nami only shrugs. “But I am sorry. You didn’t need that, and you were terrified .” 

“I— I didn’t even remember it,” you mumble, “But I’d forgive you for anything.”

“But it’s okay to not forgive me,” Nami squeezes your hands, “You’re allowed to be mad at the crew. And hold grudges.”

“But— they’ve all been nice,” 

They’ll throw you away when you become useless to them. 

“And they haven’t done anything.” You chew your bottom lip, and it feels like Arlong is leaning over you, hand grasping around your throat again. “Luffy can be interesting—”

“He can also put the crew at risk. And you’re allowed to tell him off.” Nami looks you in the eyes, hard, and it scares you a bit. “You’re allowed to set boundaries with people.”

Are you worthy of them, though, pet? Arlong sneers, his ghostly fingers squeezing your windpipe. You’re nothing. Nothing, to them. But a tool. And you should start to act like it. 

“I— I just want to do my job. I don’t need to cause issues, I’m the newest member, after all.” You mumble, just as Crocus comes back, two cups of tea in hand. 

“Boundaries are important.” He tuts and nods approvingly at Nami. “Had I not chewed out my own captain each time he did something reckless, half of the crew would be dead or sick. It’s a part of being a member of the crew.”

Know your place! You exist only to help.

“Would you happen to have… voices, thoughts, even, that encourage you not to do that?” Crocus handing you the tea, and looking directly at you. “Do they imply that you don’t deserve good things to happen to you?”

Behind you, you can almost hear and see the way Arlong would seeth, gnashing his teeth, and you almost feel the phantom pain of his grip on your neck. Do not speak, he hisses, How dare this old human—

“Yes.”

Your voice comes out small, and suddenly, the shadow of Arlong is gone, and you realize you’re crying, with Nami holding your hand tightly. 

“Yes. They— they sound like him,” you whisper, “And I don’t know what to do.”

Nami lets out a heartbroken noise, and you sniffle, bringing your free hand up to wipe at your tears. 

“Is there something wrong with me?”

“No.” Crocus leans forward. “I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you, and whatever happened was not your fault.”

“It feels like it was.” You say hoarsely. “My village, my pod, they’re all dead, because Arlong took me.”

“They’re gone because he did that. Not because of you,” Crocus gently says, crouching in front of you. You start to warble, and Nami pulls you into a side hug. “The actions of another are not your fault. What happened was because of him. Not you. Him. ”

And you cry, Nami holding you. It’s another two hours in there, slowly going through everything, and Crocus gives you time to freshen up and breaks between all the talking.

“I’ll give you some vitamins, and a few books I have to help with that, along with my notes from whenever I treated Pell. Should have all you need. Along with a few books on how to be gentler with yourself.” He hands Nami these. “Repeat something affirming to yourself whenever these thoughts tend to take over. Set boundaries and establish a way to speak nonverbally with your crew.” He lightly taps your head, frowning. “You’re much more than what’s happened to you, Blackfin.” 

You nod hesitantly, and Nami squeezes your hand again. Crocus is about to escort you to the ship when you get an idea, turning to him so quickly it startles him a bit. 

“Wait! Do you know how my grandfather used something? Since you were on his crew.”

Crocus regards you carefully, adjusting his glasses. “Depends.”

“I think you’ll know this,” you smile shyly. “Do you remember a trident?”

“I don’t like how long they’re taking,” Sanji is in the kitchen, cutting up carrots. He had already gone through the onions and the leeks that hadn’t been processed yet, keeping them in the freezer so they would keep longer. A pot of curry was bubbling on the stove. Fresh rice had just been taken out of the rice cooker. And Zoro and Usopp wanted to gouge out their own eyes from how much Sanji was talking about how worried he was about you. Luffy had fallen asleep across both of their laps.

Oh, he talked about Nami, of course. But mostly you. 

“Do you think she’s okay?”

“I’m really worried. She looked so… broken.” Sanji stopped for a second, brushing carrots off of the cutting board and into a bowl.  “How can you be so calm right now?”

“Because we don’t have a crush on her,” Usopp deadpans, and Sanji’s face turns bright red. 

“I do not have a crush on her!”

“You do.” Zoro still has his eyes closed, as if he’s trying to nap, from where he sits on the couch. “You’re in denial.”

“I am not,” Sanji wipes his hands, and throws the towel onto the counter, leaning across the island with a deep scowl. “Besides. That would be the last thing she needs to think about.”

“Whatever you say.” Zoro sighs deeply, cracking open an eye when Luffy shifts in his lap, grunting when one of the boy’s feet comes up to smack him in the jaw, eyes finally flickering open from the shock. He looks at Sanji, tutting. “Oh, you do have a crush. Look at how red your cheeks are.”

“What would you even know about love? You’re absolutely disgusting, with how badly you smell.”

“Enough.” Zoro scowls back. “And I showered last night I am fine. ”

“After climbing around the belly of a whale.”

“So were you!”

“I changed and showered. The moment I got on the ship,” Sanji sneers. 

“Whatever,” Zoro throws his hands up. “I don’t have anyone to impress!”

The cook groans, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, before glaring at the swordsman. “I’m not trying to impress anyone!”

Usopp clicks his tongue. Luffy blearily lifts up his head. And Zoro snorts. 

“Okay, maybe I am trying to impress the finer gender on this ship,” Sanji admits with a slight blush, “But that's just manners.”

Luffy yawns out your name and Sanji’s face goes red again. “You’re trying to impress her, right?” The captain rolls off the couch with a thud, walking over to Sanji, and snatching sliced carrot pieces from the bowl. “Like, the selkie dating thing, she told us about? When we were all drinking?”

It had been a simple suggestion by Nami. Each of you would share three fun facts about yourself or your home island. Two would be lies, and one would be true. If someone guessed the truth, the speaker would take a shot. If the guesser picked a lie, they would take a shot. Simple enough. 

Usopp was currently the most drunk, followed very quickly by Luffy and Nami. Sanji and Zoro were buzzed, and you were just a bit past tipsy, pelt slipping off your shoulders, revealing a spattering of charcoal skin, freckled with pale gray and white. It almost looked like constellations and galaxies, from certain angles, while your stomach was a pale, blue-grey. 

“Okay—okay,” you straighten yourself out, giggling, “One. Selkies have a thing called courting that’s like… advanced dating. Two. I’ve caught a fish with my mouth. And three. My favorite food is kelp noodles.”

It’s Sanji’s turn to guess, and he purses his lips as he thinks, before leaning forward with a grin. “I’m choosing one. That was way too specific.”

“Aw, shit,” you lean back with a groan, and the crew breaks out into laughter. “Was it really? I thought for sure you guys would believe that second one.”

“Oh, I do.” Zoro groans. “I’ve seen you do it.”

“Wait, then that shouldn’t count then!” You whine to Nami, who only looks at you with a sympathetic smile while pouring you a shot, the crew laughing at your slight blunder. 

“Drink up!” You throw it back easily, sticking out your tongue at Sanji, who chuckles. Your cheeks are stained a darker shade of gray than normal, and the paler dapples and freckles across your face shine under the moonlight. “But that’s so… traditional. The courting thing.”

"Haha, that’s a good way to describe selkie culture,” you laugh, tracing shapes onto the deck with the tip of your pointer finger. “Selkies, are if nothing, but really specific about stuff.”

“How so?” Usopp tilts his head. “You’re nitpicky, yeah, but you’re not that crazy.”

“It’s about ceremonial stuff that it gets weird. I’m just being a good resource manager.”

“Weird how?”

“Like—my Pap, my Mama’s dad, would bring in a giant tuna every time she had a kid, for good fortune,” your eyes go cloudy, as you fight to remember details of your childhood, “Oh, and he was apparently really picky when Mam and Mama started courting. Would check over all the catches Mam would bring to her, examine the gifts n’shit, to see if they were good enough,” You tilt your head as if to see your own invisible patterns on the deck from a new angle, “It’s like, the whole pre-mating stage. Goes on for months and months if not years. It’s really romantic, I guess. Shows the commitment, n’all the lovey shit,” you giggle, covering your mouth. “N’then you bone, mark each other up, and you’re officially mated then. Wham bam done!”

You roll back on the deck with a laugh. “It’s so goofy.”

“It sounds romantic,” Nami sighs, holding her head in her hands. Sanji nods his head in agreement. “Showing your commitment and then having it all culminate in a night of passion?”

“Seems dumb to me,” Luffy shrugs, and Zoro hums in agreement, “If you love someone, why not just say it, and make that it?”

“It’s like… a whole thing,” you groan, waving your hand in a circle. “It’s basically the founding of a whole new pod, bound together by the new mates. You gotta impress the elders of the two founding pods, and become all exclusive,” you sloppily pour yourself another shot. Sanji holds his breath as he watches as some of the rum splashes over your hands, and you suck it off your fingers greedily. “And you gotta line it up with a cycle, and your more… like, seal, part has to approve, it’s just a headache,” you lick away the remainder of rum from your lips, and Sanji is hypnotized by the way your tongue moves. “I agree with Luffy here. I’d rather just pop the question.”

“It has nothing to do with that,” Sanji looks offended at the proposal, though a blush does spread across his face. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Fine,” Luffy whines, and reaches for more carrots, only to have his hand smacked away. “Why can’t I eat a few? It’s not even meat!”

“Because. We’re waiting for the rest of the crew, and,” Sanji looks Luffy dead in his eyes, your name coming off his tongue with reverence, “… and Nami gets served first, considering how she just had a several-hour-long appointment with a stranger, and Nami helped her.”

The sound of footsteps on the deck catches their attention, and right as Sanji leaves the galley, he notices you pointing your trident at the water, while Crocus seems to adjust your form, before telling you to try again. 

You bring it in an arc, before hitting it against the deck. Tide rings, clear and beautiful, and as you hum along with the ring, tendrils of water rise up from the ocean beside you. The moment you gasp, the water drops, but you look excited, rather than how exhausted you would normally be. You turn over to the crew slack-jawed, shocked you've even managed to do that, and Luffy whoops as he tackles you in a hug.

“That was so cool! ” The captain has you by your shoulders, “Can I try? Can I?”

“I don’t think you can,” you laugh, pushing him off, “But— Crocus was telling me how my grandfather used to use Tide like a battle hammer! And then I just thought—” you hit the trident off the deck again, listening as it rings again, “—well I may as well try!”

You match the pitch with the fading of the hum, your rumbles turning melodic as you sway with the trident, almost using it like a large baton, conducting a symphony. It’s helping to direct your energy, and when you reach a high note, trilling loudly, the snake-like form of the water shoots past the crew and down the trap door that leads to the storage room, and you hear a faint scream, just a few seconds later. Your jaw drops again, as you look at Tide, then to the direction of the trap door, then to your trident, sprinting towards it with a worried rumble.

“What the hell?” Zoro walks the way the water had gone, before calling the rest of the crew down. 

Before you are two people, a ginger man, and a pale-blue-haired woman, both frozen to the wall with ice. And you let out a growl, low and threatening, that no one on the crew has heard from you before as you scent the air. Crocus laughs a bit into his fist at that, for how territorial you’re being, especially considering you had very little control of your element. 

“Who are you?” You bring Tide up to the ginger’s throat. Naturally, it freaks him out a bit, and you narrow your eyes as Zoro pulls you back. 

“Hey, bit intense there, you already have them frozen to the wall.” The swordsman hisses in your ear. “Which, by the way, didn’t know that was a thing you could do.”

“Neither did I, being totally honest right now.” You whisper back, and you swear you can hear the way Zoro stares into the back of your head. “This whole not being tired after calling the water is new to me.”

The swordsman only sighs, walking up to the two intruders, and holding up a weird compass. “I’m assuming you’re here for this?” Behind you, Luffy lets out a gasp, smacking around what you can only assume are his shorts. 

“You took that from me!” Luffy pushes past you and starts to swat at the item, much to Zoro’s chagrin. “Give it back! I found it!”

“They have the log pose!” The girl cries out, and you turn your head to look at her. Upon closer inspection, it appears that Zoro does have a log pose in his hand. One which Luffy seems determined to break. You only just start to open your mouth when you hear the sound of Luffy’s arm stretching.

“What— Luffy, stop you’re gonna break—”

It didn’t even stand a chance, being smashed up against the wall by Luffy’s palm, and you groan, while Luffy stares at his now bleeding hand in confusion, as if he hadn’t just smashed it into a delicate glass bulb. You only groan, rubbing your palms into your eyes. Not only did you have to clean up broken glass, but now you’d have to find another log pose somewhere. 

“Why’d you do that?” You grab Luffy’s hand and gently pull the glass from the cuts. “Now we can’t navigate.”

“What?!” Nami screeches, and you stop her from clobbering your captain by pushing him partially behind you. “Luffy, you dumbass!”

“He probably didn’t know,” you soothe your friend, before gently pouring some water on his hand from the gourd on your hip, feeling the draw of the energy around his minor cuts as you keep it from leaking through his fingers. “Don’t be too mad. Most people don’t even know what a log pose is, unless they're born on the Grand Line, or a seafaring race.”

The water that sits between your hands hums with energy, as you make it shift back and forth over the cuts, slowly stitching them back together as your voice is caught in the back of your throat, almost sounding similar to distant thunder. Luffy pulls his hand away when you’ve finished, looking at the unscarred skin in awe. You only smile, accidentally letting the water drop onto the floor when you stumble, thoroughly spent from all the water calling. Sanji catches you— you hadn’t even realized you’d been stumbling— and helps you right yourself, looking down at you in concern, his visible eyebrow arched above his eye. 

“Ah, thank you,” Your smile made him feel like his heart was going to explode. Your hands brush along his arm before you hold his wrist tightly, still wobbly, as a tired rumble comes from your lips. His heart stops and restarts at the same moment as your grip tightens. “Would you— I think I need to just—”

“Of course,” he puts a hand on your waist, and and pulls you against him gently. In the back of your mind, you can hear how your hindbrain coos, and commends him, mumbling to you about what a wonderful mate he would be, with how well-fed he makes sure you are. “Let me know when you’re good to stand.”

The strangers laugh a bit, which is silenced by Zoro looming over them. The interrogation is rather quick after that, with Zoro learning their names, what they work for, and their goals. He even manages to get out of them that their boss is rather unhappy with them at the moment, so much so that they were nearly killed by a pair called “The Unluckies” and that Going Merry was the only real option for a place to hide. 

Sanji’s already cleaned up the broken glass, and you’re left with Zoro and Luffy, wondering if you should give them a chance, when Crocus clears his throat. 

“I’ll be the first to admit they’re rather annoying, especially when it comes to their attempts at killing Laboon,” both shrink under his steely gaze as he says, “But, I’m sure they’d be willing to throw their own weight around if you drop them off at the next island.”

“We don’t exactly have a log pose anymore,” Nami sulks, but cheers up upon immediately seeing one in Crocus’ hands. 

“Consider this payment for stopping Laboon’s… more self-destructive urges.” The old man hands it to your navigator, who cradles it like a baby. You swear you hear your friend cooing at it too. “The doctor’s appointment is covered by that as well, but it would have been free, anyway, considering you’re Pell’s grandpup. Now let ‘em out, try the same thing with the trident again.”

Hesitantly, you tap Tide to the floor, and it hums, sounding much louder in the smaller space. You let out a low, yet delicate, croon, and the ice melts away, snaking up your arms, around your torso, and then out the door, and presumably back into the ocean, similar to the ribbons many gymnasts would use in performance. You regard your weapon with a wonder-filled stare, but look over at the two strangers. Something tugs at the back of your mind, settling there as if it's greeting you. 

“Names?” You tilt your head, and the quiet clack behind you lets you know Zoro has a hand on his swords. “I don’t trust either of you for shit, I hope that’s clear.”

The man and woman share a glance and introduce themselves as Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. Nami sets a course for Whiskey Peak soon after, with the crew waving goodbye to Crocus as his lighthouse fades from view, the wind catching in the sails.