#finally something beautiful and mature she could skate to

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

I think the slide is the best thing about Kurakova's Cats FS. I don't like the costume and I don't like the fact that she's doing cats

[macaroni-rascal]

Pt. 2 women's FS.

I will forever hold it against Carolina for unleashing the scourge that is Bolero upon us, because it's been like herpes these past few seasons. Again with the knockoff choreography. Caro was a very mature skater when she did it and she could be sultry without it being too much. This dress, while not awful, I found a tinge too sexy, but I guess I have to remember these are no longer the cute juniors we used to watch on the JGP circuit. This would've worked better as an SP dress for some reason. You have to wonder what ideas come from the coaches and choreographers versus the skaters themselves. Imo this is not Mana's natural style, the program kinda ran away from her, but if this is her experimenting, I'd rather she go in a more original direction. Her coach's fashion sense doesn't give me hope, though.

Mone's dress was the most skating dress to ever skating dress. The darker hue at the front should've started lower. I wouldn't have objected to it too much if it weren't for those damn sleeves. I appreciate that there was something in the hair but this whole look and program is just not a good fit for what I perceive to be a rather unique and energetic skater. It's like they put her on mute. Why try to conform her? Kaori didn't win 2 world titles and an Olympic medal by being someone she isn't. They need to lean into her effervescence, this is all too forgettable and generic for such a memorable skater. Nice to see Cathy Reed listed as a coach, but can we please be done with the Mie Hamada era already?

Niina - similar dress struggles as in the SP, but I much prefer this one. The color is great and the gold detail matches it well, and velvet is such a classy and currently underused fabric. The pentagram on the front is a confounding choice, but hey, it summoned her a medal? The back is better than the front, but the sleeve length and the skirt cut off her lines pretty harshly, she needs to be in an A-line skirt that fans out from her actual waist, and not where these two random lines are positioned. I appreciate that she had a defined vibe between the two programs, though. I didn't realize she was coached by Helen Mirren.

And just when we thought things couldn't possibly get worse for Isabeau, wtf is this atrocity? If you had a champion on your hands (whether she should be scoring what she is is a different conversation), would you send her out looking like a plucked chicken??? This is hands down one of the worst things I've ever seen in skating, and worst-dressed of the weekend, no contest. Do you think they know what the story of the White Crow is? Or the difference between a crow and a magpie? Did they cause a fabric shortage by making that skirt? We need to stage an intervention to pry this girl our of Julia's claws because she's actively choking her through sartorial over-saturation. And to use music that's already been done beautifully by some of the sport's most talented and to subject her to the comparison after teaching her that non-technique is just cruel. I'm even more perplexed after seeing her exhibition costume, which wasn't half-bad (actually, let's not get into how a 16yo was writhing on the floor to Madonna yet). I'm incensed by all of this and the fact that it's being rewarded.

Now for a sharp right turn from the worst to the best - Amber! Finally a dress befitting her beauty! Gold star all around! A stunning color on her, so subtle yet beautiful, and look! They even found her waist! Everything was perfect - from the draping to the proportion to the stoning. Her back is what Young's SP dress could've been. Thrilled about her 3A but there was a sense of "here we go again" in the second half. They really need to figure out the stamina and layout issues already. Send her to Ravi or someone else who will make her practice full run-throughs. I need her, Romsky, Deniss and Camden to form a support group for skaters crushed by the weight of their immense talent and figure this out, it shouldn't hurt this much to stan them. Welp, at least she won the best-dressed title here.

Long live Queen Loena, she threw down in a way only she can, and she's such an important role model in the sport and proponent of health. Let's not peak too early again, though. Now, here's the thing. How is this different from what she did in the short? Or the previous few years? It's like Adam saw P/C's waacking RD and F/G's Vogue and thought - this is what skating should be, and nothing else. Having seen Nikita's programs, I get the sense that the only culture her team consumes is Drag Race (which, I'm the one to talk, but never mind that now, I'm not the one making the decisions here), and they're stuck in the club and can't get out. I mean, she did everything but shablam at the end. Giving her pop diva music is a solid idea and Beyonce is a step in the right direction, but it's like she's really working to put the choreo she's been given to the music, and there's no melody to let her do it. The dress is basically Hubbell's Burlesque outfit, and it's simultaneously too little and too much. What I would've done is I would've taken the black bodysuit, gotten rid of the skirt, and if we're already doing a bedazzled booty, I would've basically used rhinestones to fake a Madonna-esque corset and it could've been iconique. I'm here for the sparkly gloves but I'd yeet the choker into space. They could've also taken inspo from Ms. Carter's recent killer looks. This is better music than the short but it's still too unz unz unz to flow, and singles and pairs need melody, while dance utilizes rhythm, which is why all attempts to do the reverse fail. The bottom line is: I can see her coaching and choreo team live their dreams through her, and I'm not quite sure we're seeing her in this fully. We know she has a life outside of skating and experiences she could mine (btw, what happened to Brandon? He had a team here but didn't show up, it must've been messy), and every time someone is committed to putting on a show, I wonder if they're avoiding vulnerability. Idk, I struggle with this because I do luv her, but I'd like to see her in the hands of someone else, maybe Jeremy and Massimo? (Not Benoit. Never Benoit.) When she's up against the likes of Kaori and Yelim, who both have more elevated material, and they all nail... Who will the judges go with? Herein lies the rub. She could win the title this year since the Korean fed is useless and Kaori is exhausted, but is this the material to help her do that? Great hair, makeup and accessories, as usual. I appreciate that she's breaking the mold, but they're creating a mold of their own at this point.

Just overall across SkAm I noticed a neglect of the hair as an opportunity for adding an extra oomph, and the men in the dance in particular have no excuse for this. There's barely any true 80s hair. I know they probably outlawed the hairspray everyone was using at the time a long time ago, but I'd like to see literally any effort, there was so much emphasis in the RD Comm about the spirit of the 80s and and those hairstyles done been exorcised of it.

Well, I guess that's it, huh? What a long and rollercoaster of a weekend. Btw, I'd use the medals and the opening group number in the gala as arguments that Texas should never host anything skating-related ever again. Ashley looked great, though, and it was nice to see her doing well. Mariah really didn't need that schmoozing moment with Eteri, but she shouldn't have been put in the position to have to interact with her as a host there, either. Zak looked great in his fitted shirt in the EX so he should reconsider that green pillowcase with a neck cut out he was wearing in the FD. And wth is the Germans' EX, is she supposed to be blind in it? You'd think someone would reject an idea like that from the outset, but someone placed 6th at the 2018 Olympics with similar nonsense in the dance, so why would they? Anyway, I'm so excited for next week, when I get to drag Wesley's R&J shirt and see whether Piper and Paul will delight or disappoint me. Toodeloo!

More correct opinions! Thanks for sharing all your wonderful thoughts, nonny. It was so fun reading all these!

[shadowetienne]

Watching the Women’s FS for Japanese Nationals.

Group 1 thoughts: you know this profusion of early-mid 20s women who have brilliant skating skills and don’t have singles level jumps is making me really glad that Japan seems to finally be working to develop their pairs and ice dance programs because some of these women *should* have been encouraged towards pairs or ice dance a decade ago. They would have thrived given the right framework.

Akari Matsubara (22)

She is elegant and airy across the ice. She has great musicality and spins, but the jumps sure were a struggle. Has she considered trying to make the shift into ice dance?

Maria Egawa (19)

Oh no her jumps, they were not with her today. A few worked, but you could tell they were fighting her. Lovely layback! Please get her music that she connects to and has sensible cuts (or fewer cuts).

Mako Yamashita (19)

Oh dear, SP must not have gone well for her, but also, she’s been hit and miss the past few seasons. She was one of my faves during her early juniors days, so I was really rooting for a good skate, and I’m glad that she delivered something pretty solid overall. The jumps weren’t 100%, but it’s great to see a solid skate from her for sure. She’s developed a beautiful maturity in her skating in the past few years. I hope that next season has her back at the top of her skating game!

Nina Takeno (21)

I love her dress (as a side note). Lovely spins and skating skills, the jumps take all her concentration and some still get away from her though. I loved her choreo and step sequences, and that layback at the end was beautiful! Has she considered pairs or ice dance? They honestly might be a better vessel for her.

Rino Matsuike (18)

Surprised to see her this low after the SP, but she was pretty sick earlier in the season, maybe it’s still causing her issues. Her speed and fluidity across the ice are a dream. Those transitions just make the jumps stand out so beautifully in the program. Her spin positions are so good! There was a little jump bobble towards the end, but her program and skating were beautiful! I hope that she is proud of that skate!

Hina Takeno (25)

There’s a beautiful maturity and elegant simplicity to her skating. That spiral was beautiful and made the whole program for me. She doesn’t have the big jumps, but she does have the skating skills. Has she considered ice dance?

Looking forward to the rest of the groups!

[midncghts]

         ୨୧         darling   is   following   behind   large   frame   with   limbs   remaining   draped   upon   chest   ,   roseate   petals   tasting   of   watermelon   candies   drawn   thin   finding   homme’s   derision   detailing   him   with   another   that   wasnt   her   to   be   rather   unamusing   .      “   everything   isnt   okay   ,   i’m   still   mad   .   .   .   i’m   just   deciding   to   be   the   bigger   person   here   for   a   change   .   “      fresh   manicure   sweeps   raven   tresses   aside   exposing   décolletage   ,   a   perspective   to   exemplify   newly   found   maturity   —   thats   bound   to   wither   away   any   second   now   .      “   besides   you   deserved   every   bad   word   i   gave   you   !   you   should   be   on   your   knees   apologizing   right   now   ,   not   joking   about   having   imaginary   company   over   when   you   know   i   hate   that   idea   .   “      there’s   a   shiver   that   runs   down   spine   ,   bumps   lining   vertebrae   alongside   hairs   that   stand   tall   upon   petite   frame   due   to   overwhelming   jealousy   over   nothing   that   stirs   from   within   rib   cage   .      “   i   want   us   to   stop   fighting   .   “      confesses   sternly   ,   as   if   not   taking   no   for   an   answer   and   limbs   finally   faltering   to   hips   .      “   i   dont   ��   i   dont   skate   good   when   we   fight   and   i   dont   like   it   .   “   

his  face  etches  with  a  soft  wry  smile  ,  delivering  his  biting  response  .  "  it's  too  late  to  be  the  bigger  person  here  ,  don't  you  think ?  you  could  have  been  the  bigger  person  when  you  decided  to  say  all  that  and  throw  the  fucking  drink  on  me  .  "  to  atlas  ,  the  fact  that  serena  painted  him  as  the  villain  now  seemed  more  absurd  than  infuriating  ,  and  can't  help  but  let  out  a  boisterous  laugh  as  he  makes  his  way  to  the  window  that  opened  onto  the  balcony  ,  lighting  a  cigarette . as  the  smoke  curls  around  him  ,  he  turns  his  face  to  look  back  at  serena  ,  unable  not  to  marvel  at  her  beauty  even  in  the  midst  of  their  tumultuous  exchange  .  "  i'm — are  you  listening  to  yourself  right  now ?  i'm  starting  to  think  you  consumed  something  before  you  came  here  .  .  .  — serena  ,  i  worked  late  that  day  .  i  wasn't  late  for  our  date  because  i  was  fucking  some  other  'ugly  bitch'  like you said . the  studio  is  twenty  minutes  from  the  club  ,  and  i  got  there  ten  minutes  late  , okay ?  don't  you  think  i  would  need  more  than  ten  minutes  to  cheat  on  you ? "  atlas's  gaze  remains  fixed  on  serena's  frame  ,  tattooed  arms  crossed  over  his  chest  ,  digits  equally  decorated  with  black  ink  and  a  pair  of  silver  rings  ,  holding  the  smoking  cigarette  .  fights  like  these  had  become  a  twisted  routine  for  them  ,  a  toxic  cycle  they  couldn't  seem  to  break  free  from  .  it  was  intoxicating  and  asphyxiating  ,  but  for  someone  like  atlas  who  constantly  craved  chaos  ,  that  was  what  made  him  feel  most  alive  .  "  i'm  sorry  ,  but  i'm  not  going  to  apologize  for  something  that  was  definitely  not  my  fault  , "  atlas  states  ,  defiant  tone  dripping  from  his  words  .  leaning  against  the  window  frame  ,  he  shrugs  softly  .  "  so  if  you're  not  ready  to  apologize  ,  i  guess  you'll  have  to  improve  your  skating  technique  .  "  a  smile  plays  at  the  corners  of  his  lips  ,    finding  a  strange  fascination  in  the  way  she  tries  to  convince  him  .

[clairles]

I am here to ramble about women's figure skating on the olympic so you can skip it, but I am going to burst if I won't talk about my feelings.

I don't think I've ever seen something so maddening as today's finale, especially after Kamila's performance.

When I saw her entering the skating ring, she looked determined and stressed; when she exited it, she looked like she probably felt: defeated. I know it's how life looks, but my heart broke seeing how not even one adult around her, in any skating federation, treated her like a girl she was. She was forced to perform today and it was visible she wasn't in a state od mind to do so; and she totally broke after. Why is there so many people putting all the blame on her? Why nobody from biggest skating federation isn't trying to do something about her coaches?? Why is Russia allowed to do this to their performers over and over again, for so much years? Why can't we get justice for things which really matter? I am so mad. I can know shit about this sport, but I feel for Kamila, I feel betrayed and saddened. Polish comentators said "I hope she gets good councelling and attention to her needs after all of that" and I was laughing to myself. Yes, for sure, they will care about her well being. We can see clearly how much they cared about this now.

And the cameras, not giving her a break, filming her crying and trying to hide... I am disgusted.

It goes smoothly to the next thing I wanted to say: why is they allowing such young girls performance? We could see today (I look at you, Alexandra) how they are not prepared, by any means, to handle the stress. To handle the, I don't know, responsibility. You allow to train those girls probably +10 hours every day, but I can see you don't give them enough attention to the stress and how to deal with fame and performances. They are just kids, yet we treat them as adults.

You put them on a spotlight, not even caring if they're can handle it, and then we have a shitshow like Alexandra's tantrum because she wasn't first... I don't think I've ever was so concerned, apalled and just, mad at someone's behavior. On the one hand, she is a kid. She didn't get what she wanted and she made everyone around her miserable. At the same time, she is not *that* young. I was seriously wondering how could someone behave so awfully, especially to the girls who wanted to just give her directions where should she go? I just hoped she won't do anything for Anna, she was so mad she looked she wants to punch someone... I'm sorry, but it was pathetic. And it seriously looked as everyone had to calm her down instead of take care of other people in their team. Selfish and very showing of maturity of them.

Also, as someone who probably doesn't know anything about this sport, I am always so... weirded out how different russians are doing this sport than entire world. And I seriously am always mad how can they just put everyone on hold because they're the only ones who can jump some jumps and it's enough to always be first. You can be the most gracious and perfect performers, but then some girl comes and falls down because she *tried* to jump but couldn't and it's better than anything others can do,

All in all, I didn't have fun at the end of the performances. Nothing made me so mad as those ending 20 minutes for the sport which should be all about beauty of music and amazing things talented people can do with their bodies on ice. I would lie if I said I am not amazed by Anna's and Kaori's performance, though. Ba, I would say everyone did amazing job.

End of the rant.

[madamewriterofwrongs]

my darling, cj, hello!! 9-1-1 as marvel characters or disney character 💛

Well hello, sunshine! How I’ve missed your face.

I’ve already done a 9-1-1 Marvel AU so let’s talk Disney.

Now, your girl loves her Disney so we’re going to narrow it down to Walt Disney Animated Studios Leading Characters.

Let’s go!

Bobby - Elsa (Frozen). Has a dark secret that no one in their life knows about. A family death is the inciting incident for change that causes initial stress but ultimate happiness. Perpetually tired of their family’s sh*t and having to explain very basic concepts (like: you can’t marry someone you just met, or don’t use an axe when there might be a baby in the wall). When their secret finally does surface, it’s explosive and hurts their loved ones. Ice Skating.

Bonus: Bagheera (The Jungle Book). Ends up with more immature children than he knows how to handle.

-

Athena - Esmerelda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame). Fights for what she thinks is right. Thinks outside the box. There’s a softness for those she cares for and a swift kick in the nuts for those she doesn’t. Enjoys some sexy times but only when she’s in control. Has a kid who is ready to throw down at all times. Falls for the boring guy. 

Bonus: Shang (Mulan). Motivated by the loss of a loved one and a desire for parental approval. Would love to kick your ass if you even try to give up the good fight. 

-

Chimney - Judy Hopps (Zootopia). Big dreams in a tiny body. Smart and fast and endearingly ambitious. Makes friends everywhere just by being a decent human being. #WorkplaceDiscrimination. Big family and growing by the second but somewhat ignored by their parents. Uneasy friendship with an old bully (Tommy). Generally underestimated which proves to be an asset. Falls for a fox.

Bonus: Bernard (The Rescuers). Superstitious. Dragged into danger by his kind-of girlfriend.

-

Hen - Lilo (Lilo and Stitch). “Ohana” means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten. Sees someone she likes and immediately adopts them. The definition of Chaotic Good energy. Will bite a bitch because she deserves it. Struggles to keep her family together (and kind of messes it up). Will go to the ends of the earth for her found family. Mistakes are forgiven, your past is your own, she just loves you now.

Bonus: Nala (The Lion King). An endearing troublemaker and a serious but kind-hearted rebel who fights for what’s right.

-

Buck - Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet). Comes from a broken family but no matter what, there was an older female family member he could always rely on. Adventurous and rebellious to the point of destruction. Finds a guiding hand in a mentor who isn’t perfect but loves him like a son. Uses his skills to save people and do good. Previous hair choices we don’t like to talk about.

Bonus: Hercules (Hercules). Falls for an older woman. Knows less about the world than his muscles would suggest. Has headbutt a horse.

-

Eddie - Eric (The Little Mermaid). Struggles to find a balance between duty and desire. A traditional beauty with a booty and dark, flowing locks. Relies heavily on the advice of his elders. Humble and kind. Abhors the spotlight despite his profession/nobility. Loves doing reckless things if it means saving others. Kind of a dumbass but in a mature way...somehow - like you don’t notice it right away.

Bonus: Tiana (The Princess and the Frog). Driven by duty and hard work and yet, somehow, veers straight into danger with another dumbass. 

-

Maddie - Wendy (Peter Pan). Placed into a maternal position way too young, but she loves her brother(s) and will do anything to care for those in her charge. Kind and curious and maybe a little judgmental, but look at the people she spends time with. Seems helpless but in the face of real danger, she will throw down. She is also completely unafraid to stand up for herself in any situation. 

Bonus: Rapunzel (Tangled). Escapes an abusive relationship. Has definitely hit her boyfriend with a frying pan.

-

Michael - Pacha (The Emperor’s New Groove). Constantly getting pulled into other people’s sh*t but eventually finds it very fun. Loves his family more than anything. If he can teach you a lesson and judge you while doing it, he absolutely will. Almost loses everything but ends up gaining something special because two people are trapped together for an indeterminate amount of time.

Bonus: Pongo (101 Dalmatians). Weird meet-cute. Will fight for his family but not, like, directly.

Prompt Me with AUs

[rubycafee]

( ☂️ ) - ENHYPEN AS NANA CHARACTERS ;

˚ ༘♡ ���｡˚ jungwon as yasushi takagi ;

yasushi takagi commonly known by his nickname yasu, is the drummer & leader in the punk band, Black Stones. he handles most of the business in the band, he's a very trustworthy and caring person. He is probably the most selfless, mature, and thoughtful person of the main cast. jungwon is the leader of enhypen, he is so caring for his members, and very trustworthy, he won't be the leader if he was not, also jungwon is very mature for his age, he makes good decisions, just like yasu, jungwon's dedicated to bringing people together and doing what’s right, he is also loyal and reliable person who enhypen can depend on, he is the one who keeps enhypen together. yasu is the one who created black stones, he is the one who brought them together, he is the one who led them to popularity as well.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ heeseung as reira serizawa ;

to fans, reira is the archetypal idol: beautiful, charming and possessing a good voice. however, to her circle of friends, she's probably just as well known for being somewhat naive, overwhelmingly friendly, throwing child-like tantrums and making questionable demands. together with naoki fujieda, she's Trapnest's main source of laughter.

heeseung is the ace of enhypen ( in my opinion ), he has both skills and visuals ( all of enhypen to be honest ). just like reira, he has a heavenly voice that make everyone happy, honestly, I could listen to his voice all the day without getting tired of it, he is also the fake maknae of enhypen, as he acts like a child sometimes, he makes us laugh all the time, but he is serious when he needs to be. there's not a single ep of en-o'clock that heeseung didn't make us laugh or smile at least once. heeseung & reira have amazing vocals, both of them are the aces of their groups, and they are really funny.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ jongseong as nana osaki ;

nana may look like a tough goth-punk rocker, but she has a kind heart and is a devoted friend. the first time i've seen jay, i thought this guy looks like the cold and mysterious guy in teen series, he really gave me that impression, but as i kept watching enhypen's vids, I discovered that he was so sweet and gentle, he really cared for his members and he takes good care of them all the time.

despite the hardships that they faced, they never gave up on their dreams, as nana became the lead vocalist of blast and jay making it to the finals of i-land and joing enhypen, the both of them want to make it big enough that the whole world know their names and they are working really hard on it.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ jaeyun as ren honjo ;

ren honjo is an ex-member of Black Stones who is currently a guitarist for Trapnest. ren is relaxed and open about many things; this makes it easy for people to share their secrets with him. in weekly idol, jungwon chose jake as his father, because jake was so understanding and a good listener, he said also that he feel comfortable talking to jake about anything.

though he projects a hard exterior on the outside, ren is quite sensitive and kind-hearted, jake is also very kind and caring, he takes care of his dongsaengs and always play with them, he is always cheering for his members and making them happy by saying the exact words that they want to hear, jake is someone who is cheerful, kind and always happy, whenever I see jake I become happy, jake just give you the positive energy whenever you need it.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ sunghoon as takumi ichinose ;

honestly, sunghoon was the hardest member to find a character who is similar to him.

takumi is is an ambitious, even as a child, he wanted to find something that only he can do and was willing to reach success, we all know that sunghoon before joining enhypen was a figure skater, he started this job at a very early age, he worked so hard on it too.

takumi is workaholic and passionate, he invests himself entirely in what makes him excited and inspired until the fire will burn out, sunghoon also is passionate about excelling in his chosen field which makes sense, given how hard he worked at figure skating and at i-land, whenever sunghoon has his mind set on something, he works really hard on it until he achieve it. both of them are working hard to lead their groups to  success, takumi is working the whole day on writing & producing songs to his group, sunghoon is practicing everyday to make his moves perfect, he doesn't want to hold enhypen back, so he put efforts in anything he does.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ sunoo as nobuo terashima ;

nobu is the guitarist of blast and was the only person able to befriend nana osaki during high school, which coincidentally began their shared love for punk music.

he is friendly and optimistic, sunoo really reminds me of him, both of them are positive & sunshines, they bring positivity wherever they are going and they make everyone smile, they are the vitamins of their groups, everyone do love them, although they get teased a lot. both of them are very hardworking, nobu is constantly working on his guitar skills & producing songs, while sunoo is always trying to make his performances the bests..

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ni-ki as shinichi okazaki ;

these two are the foreigners and the babies of their groups. as much as niki doesn't know about korean culture since he is japanese, shin doesn't know about japanese culture either because he was raised in Sweden. but aside from that, these two really give the same vibe, riki and shin both of them have a competitive nature, they hate losing and they want to win all the time. shin is resilient, can remain cool-headed in the most difficult moments, I think riki will be the least one to freak out in a dangerous situation.

despite his young age and very short training period of just 8 months, riki give us incredible performances that have everyone convinced he’s going to be enhypen’s main dancer, he's very skilled and talented for his age, shin is so good at bass, that people started comparing him with pro bass players despite being only 15. riki & shin are very ambitious for their age, shin wants to defeat ren honjo at playing bass, he wants to be the best bass player, he even started playing it after seeing ren and from that moment he swore that he'll defeat him, as for niki, alongside performing at Tokyo Dome, some more of his dreams include receiving a Billboard Music Award within 10 years and holding a concert as soon as possible after debut.

[justlookfrightened]

Home Sweet Home

Prompt: house hunting

“Bits, did you have anything special planned for today?”

Jack sat at the island, the remains of his peanut butter toast and protein shake pushed to the side while he tapped at his laptop keyboard.

“Special? No,” Bitty said, staring at the coffee maker like he was willing it to brew faster. “I wanted to go to the market, and there’s a couple of new recipes I want to try out for my vlog. But nothing important. Why?”

Bitty arched an eyebrow at Jack.

“Now that you’re all sweaty from your run, did you want to go back to bed?”

“Tempting,” Jack said, “but --”

“But if you want to do that, you’re in charge of changing the sheets later,” Bitty said.

“Fine,” Jack said. “But that wasn’t what I was talking about.”

“Okay?”

“You know my birthday’s next week,” Jack said.

“Of course,” Bitty said. “We’re having a party, remember? You’re going to grill, I’m doing desserts and sides, your parents are coming down … ”

“I know,” Jack said. “Remember when you were asking what I wanted for a gift?”

“DId you come up with something?” Bitty said. “Because I have been thinking on it, and I’m drawing a blank. When you want something, you usually buy it, and that makes gift-giving a little difficult.”

“I want a house.”

“What?”

“I want a house. We’ve had this condo for four years, and it’s nice, but I have four more years on my contract,” Jack said. “We’ll be here a while. And I think this is going to be home for us. Providence, I mean. So, yeah, I want a house.”

“Jack,” Bitty said, finally turning completely away from the coffee maker, “I can’t buy you a house. I mean, things are going pretty well for me, and the new book is out in a couple of months, but …”

“Of course you can,” Jack said. “We can afford a house.”

“You can afford a house,” Bitty said.

“We can,” Jack said. “Community property, remember? We share a bank account.”

“But that’s just the checking account,” Bitty said. “For like, groceries and utility bills. And sure, maybe I spend a little too much on clothes and baking supplies. And I know you can afford a house, but how is that a present from me to you?”

“Because I want you to do it with me?” Jack said. ”I want to pick a place out together, and to decorate it -- well, mostly for you to decorate it -- and I want it to be our home. I want there to be space for us to have guests, and for us maybe to have kids one day. I’m going to be thirty years old, Bits. I want to live like a grownup.”

Bitty looked pointedly around the condo, from the kitchen with its matching dish towels and oven mitts to the painting over the sofa and the plants in the corner.

“This … is not living like a grown-up?” Bitty said. “Going to bed at eleven and up by seven for a run, even on Sunday?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jack said. “I just thought that, maybe it’s time for some more space? We can get you a bigger kitchen.”

“Fine,” Bitty said. “But because it’s something you want. You are not buying me a house for your birthday. What did you want to do about it today? Because don’t we need to, like, find an agent and everything?”

“I guess,” Jack said. “Maybe once we know what we want? I found a few open houses we can check out. Look.”

Bitty pulled a stool closer and turned the laptop towards him. Jack watched his eyes as he read, looked at pictures, scrolled down and read and looked again.

“Jack, those houses are all over a million dollars,” Bitty finally said, looking a little pale.

“I know,” Jack said. “But they’re nice. And did you see the kitchen in the one on the water in Cranston?”

“The one that’s over $2 million?” Bitty said. “We could build a big house that’s half kitchen for half that much.”

Jack shrugged.

“Probably not in that location. It’s a quick commute to the arena and the training facility. But if you want to buy property to build something, we might have to go further out,” Jack said. “Would you rather do that?”

“Build a house?” Bitty said. “Jack, I don’t know the first thing about building a house, and neither do you.”

“Well, I wasn’t thinking we’d build it ourselves,” Jack said. “We’d hire someone. Unless you want to bake a house.”

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann, we are not living in a gingerbread house.”

“But do you want to go to these open houses?” Jack said. “Get an idea of what we want and what’s available? For my birthday?”

Jack tried to do that thing Bitty did to him, where he looked up with huge, pleading eyes, but he was pretty sure he just looked like a demented seal instead of a cute puppy.

Bitty probably thought so too, but he laughed and said, “Fine. The farmer’s market opens in fifteen minutes. Let me go before all the good stuff is gone and then we can go look at houses.”

There must have been a lot of good stuff, because it was nearly noon by the time Bitty was back and had the shopping stowed. Then he had to shower and change. (“I need to look like a potential homebuyer, Jack, not a grocery shopper!” “What’s the difference?” Apparently, in Bitty’s mind, homebuyers dressed like they were going to casual office jobs. Except with khaki shorts instead of trousers because it was nearly 34 degrees outside.)

“Come on, Bits, I don’t want to be late!” Jack said.

“What, you’re afraid all the good houses will be gone?” Bitty asked. “I mean, is there seriously one house you have your heart set on? Because otherwise, I don’t think we have to worry. We’re just going to get an idea of what’s out there today, right?”

“Right,” Jack said.

As soon as they were in the car, he headed for Cranston. There were several places in that area that had open houses, including the place on the river. Two and a quarter million -- more than that even -- was a lot, more than Jack had ever spent on anything in his life, but he had the money. They had the money.

All it would take would be a call to his people. Well, to his lawyer, the one he counted on for everything except contract negotiations. Shelby would call his financial people and take care of everything.

The house was … a lot. Bitty did like the kitchen, especially the double oven and what looked like acres of counter space. There was an island with a breakfast bar where they could eat and where Jack could sit to watch Bitty bake, and look out the windows and over the deck to the water.

“My husband does video segments about baking and writes cookbooks,” Jack told Aila, the listing agent. “So the kitchen is really important.”

The master bedroom wasn’t huge, but neither he nor Bitty were the type to loll in bed all day. And there was a guest house where the parents could stay when they visited.

“The property can be sold without the guesthouse,” Aila said as she not-so-helpfully followed them from room to room. There were no other lookers at the moment, so it made sense, but Jack would have preferred a bit more privacy. That would have helped him sell Bitty on the place himself.

“No, if we bought it we’d want the guesthouse,” Jack assured her.

“Don’t you think it’s a little too … I dunno, grand? For us,” Bitty said, looking down from the second floor landing.

“My parents’ place is bigger,” Jack said. “You seem comfortable enough there.”

“Now we’re competing with a movie star and a hockey legend?” Bitty said. “We’ve never owned a house before.”

“Can we walk around outside?” Jack said, steering Bitty toward the French doors that led off the dining room.

“Of course,” Aila said. “You’ll notice the sophisticated multi-level outdoor living space!”

“What does that even mean?” Bitty muttered, before trudging across the deck and into the grass to look back at the house.

He came back to Jack and said, “Let’s go. This isn’t the place for us.”

“What?”

“Unless you were sure you wanted this house specifically?”

“No. But --”

“Then let’s keep looking,” Bitty said.

“It’s like you saw a ghost,” Jack said. “Is it haunted?”

“Might as well be,” Bitty said.

“What?”

“We can’t move here,” Bitty said. “It’s not big enough.”

“A four-bedroom five-bathroom house with an in-ground pool and separate coach house isn’t big enough?”

Jack knew he sounded incredulous. He was incredulous. The house Bitty’s parents lived in -- the house Bitty had lived in as a high school student -- had four bedrooms, sure, but it was about half the size of this place. Without the coach house. And it only had two bathrooms.

Besides, Bitty usually opted for practicality over ostentation. The only really expensive things he seemed to covet were kitchen appliances.

“All that building?” Bitty said. “On a lot that’s just over a half-acre? Where would we put the rink?”

“What rink?”

“The outdoor rink that you want to build in the backyard for little Johnny or Sally to learn to skate on,” Bitty said. “So they can skate and come in for lunch and go right back outside.”

“We don’t have to have a rink,” Jack said.

“No, we don’t have to,” Bitty said. “But when you talk about when you were little, you talk about skating with your dad all the time. And you get this little smile, like just thinking about it makes you happy.”

“Maybe our kids won’t even like skating,” Jack said.

“But you still will,” Bitty said. “So if you don’t absolutely love this place already, let’s move on.”

“But the kitchen is so great,” Jack said. “Did you see the breakfast bar?”

“We can remodel the kitchen in another house if we want to,” Bitty said. “But we can’t magically make more property here. Do you have other places to visit?”

“There’s a list,” Jack said.

From Cranston they headed south to Barrington, where Jack had seen a few open houses advertised. One house was too small (despite four bedrooms and three bathrooms) and one Bitty ruled out immediately (“I know it’s on the water and it’s beautiful, but $1.35 million for a place with no air conditioning?”). Bitty made the same complaint about an 1894 six-bedroom house on the market for just under a million, but turned down a house a hundred years newer (with central air) because it was part of a suburban development and didn’t have a big enough yard oir mature trees.

When they got home, Bitty started pulling out ingredients for a strawberry rhubarb pie.

“I thought you had some new recipes to try,” Jack said.

“I do,” Bitty said. “But right now seems like a good time for comfort food.”

“Can we make a list of what we want in a house?” Jack said. “What’s important and what’s negotiable?”

“We need space,” Bitty said. “A big yard for a rink. Even a smallish rink will take a lot of space.”

Jack wrote that down.

“It might be better to look further out, then,” he said.

“I’d also like to be close to the city,” Bitty said. “But maybe that’s not as important. I don’t want to build new, though. Not for a first house. My Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob built themselves a brand new home on a lake in Georgia, put in a home theater sound system to watch movies in the great room, and it turned out you could hear it better in the bedrooms upstairs than sitting in front of the TV. I don’t want to make mistakes like that.”

They could probably find and hire a better architect -- and a sound engineer, if it came to designing a home theater -- than Bitty’s Aunt Judy, but Jack kept that thought to himself. If Bitty didn’t want to supervise the construction of a house, Jack wasn’t about to make him, and there was no way Jack could do it during the season.

“It needs to have a good kitchen,” Jack said instead. “I mean, we can get new appliances and do some remodeling, but there has to be enough space for you to work and for us to eat.”

“For you to distract me, you mean,” Bitty said, but he looked fond, and didn’t object, so Jack added it to the list.

“Good schools,” Jack said. “A patio or deck, or at least room for one, and space for a decent gym. And mature trees.”

Bitty nodded at all of that, then said, “I think maybe we should set a budget, then you can talk to Shelby about how we pay for it? And who to work with as a buyer’s agent?”

“You thought two and a half million was too much,” Jack said.

“Unless the house cleans itself and shovels its own snow in the winter,” Bitty said.

“A million and a half?” Jack said. “As a target?”

Bitty shook his head like he was exasperated, but then he grinned.

“It’s your money,” he said.

“No, it’s our money,” Jack said.

The next day, while Bitty was on calls about the next cookbook, Jack called Shelby.

“Bitty and I want to buy a house,” he said. “But we need help.”

“Okay,” Shelby said. “Help how?”

“Help with finding an agent, knowing what questions to ask, how to do the money part of it,” Jack said. “I mean, I think we can afford most places, but I don’t know the mechanics of it.”

“We can help with that,” Shelby said. “Let me make some calls and set you up with a buyer’s agent. They can help with the search, and getting a home inspection and all that. And I’ll get the financial team together to run some numbers. It might make more sense, tax-wise, to get a mortgage, or you might find a seller who will give you a discount for cash. Do you have an idea about the budget you’re looking at?”

“Well, Bits and I went out to a few open houses yesterday,” Jack said.

“You did?” Shelby said. “Oh, my gosh. The agents must have been falling all over themselves. If they recognized you.”

“Yeah, well,” Jack shrugged. Maybe that was why the agents followed them around so much.

“The most expensive place was listed at $2.35 mil,” Jack said. “I thought it was pretty nice, but Bitty thought it was too much.”

“Too much money? Too much house?” Shelby asked. “Do you remember the address?”

“Yeah,” Jack said, and read the address off his phone. “Too much money, yes, and he said it was a bit too grand. But he also thought the property was too small. He seems to think we need room to put in an outdoor rink in the winter.”

“He wants a rink?”

“He thinks I want a rink.”

“Do you?” Shelby asked.

“It would be nice,” Jack said. “I guess. Especially if we ever have kids. But it’s not a deal-breaker for me.”

“What is it that you want?”

“I want Bits to have a great kitchen,” Jack said. “But Bitty pointed out that we can remodel the kitchen, as long as there’s room.”

“Sounds like you two spent some time talking about this,” Shelby said.

“Yeah,” Jack said.

“Okay, let me look for a buyer’s agent,” she said. “I can have some names to you tomorrow. And Jack, congratulations. I know this is a big step.”

Things moved quickly after that. Shelby provided a list of possible agents, along with her recommendation, whom Bitty and Jack agreed to hire. By the Thursday of that week, they had a meeting with the agent, Melissa Field.

“It was so nice of you to come to us,” Bitty said, seating Melissa in the dining room. “Can I get you coffee? Tea? Pie?”

“Shelby said your pie is not to be missed,” Melissa said. “So yes, please. Coffee, too, if it’s not any trouble.”

“No trouble at all,” Bitty said. “I have a traditional cherry pie and a ginger peach.”

“Ooh, ginger peach,” Melissa said.

“Good choice.”

Jack took a seat as Bitty disappeared into the kitchen.

“Did I pick right?” Melissa asked.

“They’re both great,” Jack said. “Though I think I prefer the cherry, so yeah, perfect choice. More cherry for me.”

“Can you tell me about why you decided now was the time to buy a house?” Melissa asked.

“It’s not just my decision,” Jack said. “It’s Bitty’s too. But I am turning 30 next week, and my contract will keep us here for at least the next few years, and it seemed like time to put down some roots.”

Melissa nodded.

“Do you want to wait for Eric to talk about what you’re looking for?” she asked.

“That would be best,” Jack said.

Bitty bustled in and out, first bringing coffee with cream and sugar, then tea for Jack, then three slices of pie: two ginger peach and a sliver of cherry for Jack.

Melissa took them through a very long checklist of what they wanted, what they didn’t want and what they just didn’t care about. Baseboard heat? Built in shelves? Gas fireplaces?

“But air conditioning is important,” Bitty said.

“Okay,” she said. “It’s a buyer’s market, especially just now with school about to start, and there are several properties for sale that might fit the bill. Let me send you information tomorrow and we can make maybe two or three appointments for the weekend. If we have to, we can do the same thing next week, and the week after, until you’re comfortable making a choice.”

“Sounds good,” Jack said.

On Saturday, Melissa had three appointments set up. The first was an 1890 Victorian in Warwick, with five bedrooms and three and half bathrooms and more than two acres of property.

It had been updated inside, Melissa said as she led the way inside, with central air and new plumbing and electrical systems.

Bitty let out a bark of laughter as soon as they entered the living room.

“Dog people, I guess?” he said, nodding at the oil portrait of the German shepherd over the fireplace.

But he wasn’t laughing at the open kitchen, or the laundry room/mud room/butler’s pantry, which had an extra fridge and stove. It was also well within the budget at $1.2 million.

Next was a house in North Smithfield with four bedrooms and six bathrooms, which seemed disproportionate to Jack. But the kitchen was spacious, as was the yard, and it already had a play set, which made Jack imagine what it would be like with kids. Listed at just over a million dollars, the price was no obstacle,but it didn’t have as much character as the first one.

“I’ve saved the best for last,” Melissa said, driving them toward Lincoln. “This is the biggest of the three, with two separate in-law units, an adjoining workshop or studio that you can use for a gym, an in-ground pool, six-car garage and more than four acres.”

The main house, whose oldest parts dated to 1812, was gorgeous, with a stone exterior and clean lines. But the adjoining garage and workshop didn’t seem to match the aesthetic. Then again, what did Jack know about aesthetics?

Bitty was taken with the open land, Jack could see.

The inside of the house was also good, until Jack saw the kitchen. How could a six-bedroom house have a galley-style kitchen?

Jack knew Bitty was disappointed in the kitchen as well, but he didn’t say so in front of Melissa.

“Any thoughts?” Melissa asked.

“Let us talk for a while,” Jack said. “Can I call you this evening? Or tomorrow. I know it’s Sunday.”

“Either is fine,” Melissa said, dropping them at the condo building.

“Come on, bud,” Jack said, heading for Bitty’s favorite diner instead of going upstairs. “Let’s talk about it over food.”

They settled into the booth, ordered and waited for their meals before getting down to business.

“It has to be the last one,” Bitty said, after inhaling half of his grilled cheese. “It’s the biggest, and has the most property, and it has plenty of room for people to stay, and for a gym, too. And it wasn’t any more expensive. Less than the one in Warwick.”

“But the kitchen is small,” Jack said, pulling the toothpick out of his turkey club.

“Maybe we could add on?” Bitty said. “Or not. The appliances are good. I liked the double oven.”

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “It’s in the old part of the house, so I’m not sure an addition would work. What about the one in Smithfield?”

“It ticked all the boxes” Bitty acknowledged. “But didn’t love it. I can’t really say why. Too boxy, maybe?

Jack nodded in acknowledgement, chewed and swallowed. “That leaves the one in Warwick.”

“With Rin Tin Tin?” Bitty said.

“We don’t have to keep the portrait,” Jack said.

“It only had a one-car, detached garage,” Bitty said.

“That would probably be easier to expand than the kitchen,” Jack said.

“Or not,” Bitty said. “You don’t know that.”

“I didn’t really like that whole six-car garage thing in Lincoln,” Jack said. “It’s basically attached to the house, but it’s like a big shed. We could do so much better expanding the garage on the one in Warwick. And it has a view of the water.”

“From the third floor,” Bitty said. “How’re those knees holding up, Mr. NHL Player?”

“Fine,” Jack said, a little stiffly. “What do you have against the house in Warwick? You liked it when we saw it, especially the butler’s pantry and laundry room.”

“Nothing,” Bitty said. “Well, besides the dog picture. Could you imagine that room with Lardo’s painting? But we would need a bigger garage, at the very least.”

“I really don’t think that would be a problem,” Jack said. “It’s old, but it’s not landmarked or anything and there’s plenty of room. And it’s not far from Marty and his family. Why are you so set on the one in Lincoln?”

“It seems like a better deal,” Bitty said. “More space -- bigger lot, bigger house, more bedrooms -- for less money. You shouldn’t turn that down just so I have a bigger kitchen to mess up.”

Jack dragged the last of Bitty’s fries through a dollop of mayonnaise.

“I still don’t understand how you like that,” Bitty said.

“It reminds me of home,” Jack said. “And that’s what it is about the kitchen. For me, home is the place where I sit and watch you bake, and eat what you cook, and listen to you go on about butter and shortening and a thousand other things. If I can’t do that, the house won’t be home, no matter how many cars will fit in the garage.

“I want that, and if we do end up with kids, I want there to be room for them to sit in the kitchen and have a snack after school, and do their homework, and talk to us. Remember the way everyone gravitated to the kitchen in the Haus? It wasn’t like that before you got there, but I want it to be like that.”

“So you like the million-dollar house in Warwick because it has the potential to be more like the falling-down frat house we lived in in college?”

“Yes,” Jack said.

“Then let’s buy that one,” Bitty said.

“You’re sure you don’t want to see more?” Jack said.

“Do you?” Bitty said. “I do like that house, and I loved the view from the kitchen. As long as it passes the inspection and all that.”

“Then let’s do it,” Jack said. “I’ll call Melissa when we get home.”

On Monday, Jack woke up to a bouncy Bitty who was already tying his running shoes.

“Coming with, bud?”

“Yep,” Bitty said. “It’s your birthday. And I intend to follow you into the shower when we get back. Fair warning.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

Bitty laughed, then said, “You have to pick up your parents after lunch, so we have to take advantage of our opportunities.”

The run was fine, the shower was better, and the post-shower romp in the bed was best of all.

“Is it weird that I’m thinking about how this is the last birthday we’ll celebrate here?” Bitty said, snuggling up to Jack afterwards. “We’ve had some good ones.”

“This is already a good one,” Jack said. “At least from my point of view.”

“Hush. I have to get up to start getting things ready. Your parents land in two hours, so you don’t have that much time either, Mr. Zimmermann.”

Jack had groaned and stood up, ready for another shower, when his phone rang.

“Jack? This is Melissa. I have good news,” she said. “The owners accepted your offer, at least verbally. Well, of course they did. You offered what they were asking. But I’m going to work with Shelby to draw up a contract and we should be looking at closing before your season starts.”

“Wow,” Jack said. “That’s great.”

He looked around the bedroom with a sudden rush of nostalgia. The new bedroom in the new house would be good too, he told himself.

“What is it?” Bitty said, rubbing at his hair with a towel as he came out of the bathroom. “Everything okay?”

“They accepted our offer,” Jack said. “They’ll draw up the contract and we can close in a few weeks.”

“That is great,” Bitty said. “Even if the change is … a little disconcerting?”

“It’ll be fine,” Jack said. “We’ll do it together.”

That evening, after steaks and portobello mushrooms were grilled, and the guests stuffed themselves with salads and homemade bread and three kinds of pie, Jack stood and tapped his wine glass.

“Everyone, I have an announcement,” he said.

“But he already married Bitty,” Tater whispered to Shitty. “You think they have a baby coming?”

Shitty shrugged. “I dunno,” he said.

Jack could hear every word because Tater’s whisper … wasn’t.

“Not a baby,” he said. “But we are putting down roots. Bits and I are buying a house. Our offer was accepted today.”

His parents hugged him, and Bitty pulled out his phone to show off pictures.

“Look at that portrait of the dog, Lardo,” Bitty said. “Can we commission something else to go there?”

@jackzimmermannturns30

[officialthiamlibrary]

Hi guys, welcome to our new weekly segment: Feature Friday. Once a week, we’ll be hyping up one of your favourite authors and recommending five of their fics, some old and some new, so that you can re-read all of your old favourite stories, or maybe even discover a new favourite! If you have someone you’d love to see in this segment, send us an ask here on Tumblr, or message one of our helpful mods on discord. 

Sorry for taking a week off, preparations for the Big Bang obviously took a lot of time and effort, but we’re back into it this week with sunshine personified, @manonisamelon Since early 2018, manonlemelon has written 25 Teen Wolf fics about the many and varied ways Theo and Liam fall in love. She balances funny, fluffy stories with heart-wrenching angst, expertly weaving heartfelt emotion into every word. She’s hands down the best commenter in the fandom, and we’ll fight anyone who says otherwise!

Exhibit(ionism) [ Explicit // 7K // Complete ]

Theo and Liam have a date at the zoo. Shennanigans happens.

This fic is just pure silly fun, with just a dash of smut thrown in. There’s horrified old ladies, adorkabears, and dark nooks aplenty in this fic, and you’ll be shaking your head and grinning from start to finish at Liam’s shenanigans. What cames across most though is how seriously gone on each other these two boys are. A beautiful and hilarious fic!

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Let's Go Crazy [ General // 5K // Complete]

Theo loves figure skating, he has a favorite skater and the olympics are here. It's an emotional time full of joy and stress over the performance. Luckily he has a boyfriend ready to support him.

The author’s love of figure skating definitely comes across in this story. The way she describes every elegant move on the ice will draw you in as you experience the same wonder through Theo’s eyes. The way that Liam supports his partner’s interest is absolutely adorable and is sure to melt more than a few hearts. We strongly recommend this fic if you’re obsessed with figure skating as well, or if you just love pure, sweet, fluffy goodness.

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Be Careful What You Wish For [ Mature // 55K // WIP ]

Back before he was sent to the ground all Theo ever wished for was power, to be an alpha, to have a pack. Now he knows better, knows that power isn’t as easy as it seems. All he wants now is to try and stay alive, try to be good enough to one day be part of the pack and protect the beta with anger issue. During a fight with an alpha gone feral Theo is given power he doesn’t want anymore. Now he has to learn to live with what he had wished for so long ago.

We all wondered what it would be like if Theo has actually taken the power of an alpha in season 5. Now we can finally have the answers, but with the redeemed Theo instead! Take a stroll through this story about coming to terms with the things you want while trying to hold onto your former life and falling in love at the same time. You’ll laugh a little, definitely cry a little, and call Thiam idiots about a million times. 

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Underneath the Mistletoe  [ Teen // 7K // Complete ]

Mason and Corey have enough of seeing their friends hopelessly pine after each other and decide to do something about it. Luckily it’s the holiday season and what better way to get two people to admit their feelings than a mistletoe kiss? Or the fives times Mason and Corey tried to make Theo and Liam kiss under the mistletoe and the one time they succeed.

The greatest thing about this fic is that it’s told from Morey’s point of view! It’s so cool to see such a fresh idea and to have a healthy heap of our favorite canon gays! We love seeing Theo and Liam from an outsider’s perspective, especially those of their closest friends, and ultimately this fic has you feeling like you’re part of the story and in one Morey’s schemes. We love it!

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Kiss The Bartender [ Teen // 3K // Complete ]

Theo has a job as a bartender in a shot bar where some shots are linked to dares. Liam makes him sneak him Corey and Mason in. Dares happens and maybe one could finally lead to Liam and Theo admitting their feelings.

Truth or dare fic? Yes please!! This is so great and just fun because the dates range all over the place and you get a few great chuckles from it. It’s a fantastic way for Liam and Theo to connect and FINALLY get their first kiss. It’s a good time all around and we ship it hard!

[sheislearning]

Sometimes I think something is wrong with my mom.

** this is going to be a really long story, I'm sorry, but I needed to get rid of all of this**

I have been living with a depression (non diagnosed, because I don't have the money to go to a psychologist) for some time now.

The thing is that I've thought about taking my life more than once since being s teenager, but specially this last year (I'm 24 y.o. now).

I haven't done it mostly because of my mom, and also my dad. I don't want to cause them suffering.

Recently I've been really bad into the depression, but at least I could convince my mom that I do have a depression (she thought I was exaggerating before). She's been pushing me to try to focus myself, because I don't have a job (I live in Spain, and here it's really difficult to find s job nowadays, specially if you are young and inexperienced). I'm going to Germany to visit some family and get better at German, and at last to try to find a job there maybe.

Today I told her about trying to buy a skate there to do some exercise and to learn skateboarding, something I've always wanted but were too scared and embarrassed to do (I'm a woman, and idk I just don't look like a teenager, I have a more mature body and somehow it's embarrassing to do skateboarding when I don't look like a teenager, idk why). I asked what did she think about it and she said it wasn't a good idea, that it was not something easy and to focus myself in what is important.

Then I told her that I'd like to maybe go and have some little adventures there, not expensive ones, little ones, but adventures after all. She turned serious and said that I couldn't do that, that I have to think about my future. That I can't expend my family's money in those things.

I understand. I do. The money I have comes from my German family because my mom's a single mom and we don't have any money. But I've been responsible all my life. I didn't go to parties while teenager or in my early 20s, because of money. I haven't traveled at all. I didn't do Erasmus (it's studying at other universities for a semester) because of money. I haven't lived at all. I spent all these years worrying about my future, my future job and the boyfriend I had. Never thought of myself.

And now that I'm burned. That getting up every day is an effort, that I can't focus in anything, that I find difficult to do almost everything that demands some concentration, that I don't even get any pleasure by doing things that I really enjoyed before...

Shouldn't I be able to live a little bit? I really need a reason to live. Seriously. I don't have any. I'm struggling to find something in this world worth living for. Seriously. I'm scared of myself. I'm driving sometimes and I just think that it would be so easy to just turn the steering wheel suddenly and, by that, stop all of this. I sometimes think that I don't have any future, that there's nothing worth this suffering, that I'm not enough and will never be.

And today, when she told me that, what I said before, I answered saying the truth: that I think she doesn't really understand how bad my mental health is, that I've really thought of su*c*de, that I've always been responsible and I think now is my time to just enjoy a little bit. I told her I wasn't too ambitious, I didn't plan on going to a big trip to other countries, as many of my friends have done. I was just talking about going to a city that is 3h from the city my German family live. Maybe staying one night in a cheap hotel or whatever. She still thought I was selfish because I was spending her family's money.

I do understand. But when I started really crying after confessing about wanting to end my life, she came, hugged me and said: focus yourself (basically focus on finding a job/future).

Wtf. I just told you I've thought about ending my life more than once. What the..? Your daughter tells you that and instead of, oh, idk, trying to comfort her and tell her that you are by her side, that you understand, that you are going to help me, that you can try to guide me... You just... Say... Focus? That's it?

And then I squeak something like: focus? Really? That is just like if you said "calm yourself" or "keep calm" to someone in the middle of a anxiety attack. She complains a little and I answered insisting. I go to my bedroom. And she...

She just...

She just keeps watching tv.

Wtf.

Are you fucking serious? Are you a fucking psychopath?

The only reason why I don't k*ll myself is you, damn. And you... You keep watching tv. If I did k*ll myself... Would you still keep watching tv?

I'm trying to stay afloat. I'm grabbing what little force and will and hope I still can have and I'm trying to use it to survive. I'm trying to talk about my feelings, to not keep everything inside me... But she...

I swear I'm trying but sometimes I don't see the point in living. I don't see the point in trying anymore.

I know I look like a lazy person, waking up late, spending my whole day inside my bed, reading... Eating a lot. Sometimes going out with some friends. Laughing every now and then. I know I look ungrateful.

Don't you thing, mom, that I don't feel that? That I don't feel not useful, that I don't feel good enough, clever enough, independent enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, kind enough... Whatever enough? I do.

What you don't see is the lack of everything. I get up late because I don't wanna wake up. I don't wanna be here. I want to be in a world of dreams where I don't have to live any more stress.

You don't see I don't get up early because I go to sleep late because I'm finally feeling something at night reading, after hours trying to feel anything I finally focused enough in my book that I'm actually enjoying it and feeling *something*.

You don't see that spend my whole day in bed because I don't see the point in doing anything, I don't know what to do, or i don't want to see the world, I don't have the energy in me to face it.

You don't see that eating is a way to feel. Eating chocolate sends endorphins into my brain. I don't get many endorphins nowadays anymore. Eating makes me feel something. Eating fills me inside, distracts me, makes me full of something, even if it's just food and not joy.

You don't see that I'm not lazy, I just don't have any motivation. I burned out. I kept burning through the last years. I gave everything in me.

I know I'm not the most responsible person or the most active one, I am not saying I'm not lazy at all. But it's not why I'm in bed.

I'm sorry, mom. I don't know how to say this. And you won't understand me anyway, because you are too fucking proud to see it. But you have never really supported me.

I know you shouldn't live for your kids, you shouldn't give all of yourself to them, you are your own entity, you have a life of your own. But I've never felt you by my side.

When I kept asking you through all my childhood to stop smoking, or at least stop smoking infront of me? You didn't give a fuck. You kept smoking your filthy cigars/whatever in front of me, you didn't give a shit about my health. Not even when Opa died of lung cancer. I begged you more than once. That was something important for me. You said I was wrong when I said that smoking was more important for you than I was, but that's what you showed me. And actions speak louder than words.

When I was lost and didn't know what to study at university? You said you supported me. But supporting is also guiding sometimes. And I was truly lost. You said you talked to me about it, but you are wrong. You never researched with me, never spent hours looking for different career paths, subjects, possible jobs,... You didn't. You said you didn't know about how it worked. I didn't either. But I had you do it by myself. I was 17yo. You were 49yo. I needed a guide to support me. You weren't there.

I'm sorry, that was wrong. You were there. You were there to give judgement when I failed at my first year at university. To say: I told you so, that wasn't the degree for you. And then pushed to the degree you wanted for me. Did you ever researched a little about what future I could have studying that here in Spain? Should I say it? No, you didn't. What future do I have here? None, apparently.

When I finished my degree...where you there to help me finding a job? Creating a curriculum? Finding courses or something? No, I'm sorry but you were not there. I know I didn't ask for help. That was my mistake, I just wanted to be strong and show you I could do it. But I was so lost. You told me once that you couldn't have helped me anyway because you didn't really know how to find jobs, because you've had the same job for forever. Do you think I knew how to do all that? I didn't. But you could have spent some time researching with me, guiding me with whatever experience you had.

I'm really sorry, but you've supported me with words, and not even that sometimes. You complain that I don't enjoy spending time with you, but have you wondered why? Maybe because I feel that I have to demonstrate something to you, because when I'm not strong enough you remind me of it, instead of supporting me. Not just with words that usually feel more like judgment than support. But with actions. Because actions speak louder than words.

And you know what would have spoken loud? Maybe renouncing to your smoking or maybe to cut some other fun expenses to maybe pay for an hour with a psychologist once a month (that like 50/60€) to save your daughter's life. Don't you think so? I'm not trying to attack you or judge you, but it's what I feel.

That being said... Guys, if you feel something similar to what I do, speaking about depression, ask you help, in any way possible. I hope you'll get more help than I do.

[countessofravenclaw]

It could never happen... but you can't know about the future

It's my birthday, so I am releasing something special out of my usual schedule!

So this started as a school assignment, where we had to write a fairytale with 1300 characters (like you could write a good engaging story with that lenght), so I wrote one page very summed version of this and after I turned it in I expanded and finished it and this is the result. This is just something fun, kind of an AU, but I would categorize it as a dream sequence. We can't know if it happened, maybe it did or didn't. Here is the original version if anyone is interested

Nina’s phone dinged. She looked at it. It was strange, she usually didn’t get any messages. You see, she didn’t have any friends who would text her. Her parents usually just straight up called when they had something to say, which was usually a lot since her mother was an epiphany of a helicopter mother. It was a record that her mother had not called her today yet. She just had to accept that her daughter was growing up.

Things had changed quite fast for Nina. She now actually had a friend. She used to have friends when she had been a child, but starting school they all had vanished. She had been left alone and she didn’t know what to do about it. She couldn’t just go and talk to people, what if they hated her. But then Luna had just appeared out of Mexico just before school had started. She was colorful, loud and noisy, everything that Nina was not, but they complimented each other.

Luna had gone to get something from the library and to her surprise, Nina had not joined her. She practically lived in the library. Books had been her only friends for so long. Maybe Luna had not found what she was looking for and was now texting Nina for help. Luna was a rare sight at the library so it was no wonder that she had gotten lost. You needed a certain connection with the library before you could navigate it.

It was Nina’s second year at the Blake South College. She had been totally alone all of her first year, so she had used all her time to studying and had quickly become the top student in her class. The Library had been the only good thing about the school until Luna had arrived… that was not exactly true… there was another thing that made Nina happy that she was at Blake.

This reason was something that only her heart knew. She could never say it out loud and never tell it to anyone, not even Luna. Luna would definitely laugh at her if she ever told her. She was being delusional after all. It was her dark secret.

Nina looked at the message again. The message was from an unknown number. Nina hesitated for a moment if she should even open the message. Her mother had always told her to never communicate with anyone online, but she was not a child anymore. Her curiosity got better of her, nobody ever texted her outside of Luna. Nina opened the message and just stared at it for a moment.

“Be happy, with love. Your future is bright. Don’t let it go. From: Felicity” the message read. Nina was confused. What was she supposed to not let go? Who was this Felicity?

Attached to the message was a video. The file had an odd name. It said: “J&R 2017”.

Nina clicked on it and almost fainted on the spot. In the video, she saw herself walking to the locker rooms of Roller, but she looked different. She was older, her hair was longer and she clearly had done something to it. She was wearing much different clothing too. Nina could admit she looked beautiful, but something was off about her. She looked older, more mature, and happier.

Her breath got hitched in her throat. Her legs went weak, and she had to lean on the wall so she wouldn’t fall. There was someone else in the video, who entered the locker room after her. He was holding her hand…

Nina almost forgot how to breathe for a second. Holding her hand in the video was… was… it was Gastón. He looked older too, and if it was possible, even better looking. He already was tall, but he looked even taller and his gorgeous face looked more defined. And she didn’t even dare to look at his arms. It was a good thing that he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. His hair was also lacking the blonde highlights he had. Nina loved those personally, or she loved looking at those from afar.

She had done that for years, ever since she had met him. On the first day of Blake, she had been frantically looking for her classroom and bumped into him and dropped all her books. She had expected to him just walk away as everyone did, but he didn’t. She didn’t know how it had happened, but just one look at those brown eyes made her get lost in them. She always got lost in them. I might have been foolish to fall for someone so fast, but she did not control her heart. Otherwise, she should have never fallen for him. Being madly in love with a person who never could notice her… it was not easy. All she could do was just wait for her feeling to just go away.

He was the most popular guy at the school, he and his friend Matteo. One day, Nina had found out that they were into Roller skating and actually followed them into Roller. She was a bit ashamed to admit that she had been a bit of a stalker, but what else could she have done. Looking at him at school was not enough anymore. To her surprise, she actually got quite fond of the place and started to go there for her own benefits, not just to watch Gastón.

She snapped out of her thoughts and focused on the video again. What she saw made her head spin. She was sure she would pass out. What was this cruel trick that the universe was playing on her? What she saw, had only happened in her dreams. Something that could never be reality.

In the video, she had been saying something, but he interrupted her by pulling her closer and leaning down to kiss her. Nina heard herself saying something about some cameras, but she couldn’t focus on herself. Gastón had a mischievous smile on his face. Nina loved his smile, she loved everything about him, but she wished she didn’t. The feeling she wished could go away, only got stronger every time she saw him. She lost focus on the video for a moment and got lost thinking of Gastón, but she finally focused back on it.

Her legs went weak. He was leaning down to kiss her and pinning her down on a wall behind her. She could never admit it to anyone, not Luna, definitely not to her mother, but she had imagined herself being in that position with him, - multiple times - when she wanted to be extra cruel to herself. But before Nina was able to see his lips touch hers, she fainted. Maybe it was by choice, she could probably never get that image out of her head if she saw it, and it would drive her mad.

Nina woke up leaning against a wall at school. What had happened? Everything started to come back. Images flashed through her mind. She frantically looked at her phone, but all the signs of the message were gone. Of course, it had been just a dream, even if it had felt do real. Typical of her, daydreaming of a future that could never happen.

Nina leaned her back at the wall again. She was smarter than that and she should not need to waste her time for hopeless thoughts. She knew that it was something that was not going to happen, but her mind was devious and the false hope and the imagined scenarios always crept into her mind.

“Nina!” Luna’s voice rang and snapped Nina out of her trance finally.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked. “I am fine,” Nina said while standing up from the wall. She wanted to tell Luna that she had been daydreaming about Gastón, again, but she couldn’t. What would Luna think if she found out, that Nina was pining after a guy who was way out of her league?

“Did you find the book?” Nina asked, trying to distract herself from her thoughts. “No, I ran out of time. That place is a maze. But we need to go to the class now. You can go and find me the book later. I would just get lost again”.

They headed to the class and in an hour Nina had almost forgotten her strange daydream, but one thing had still lingered in her mind. Felicity, there was something about that name that inspired Nina. Even after, when she could not even remember where she had learned the name from, it still was on her mind. Little did she know, Felicity changed everything about her future and things that she thought never would happen… actually happened.

***

Nina shook awake. Her hair was spilled over Gastón’s chest and his arms were still tight around her even when he was dead asleep. That had been a weird dream, it was almost like a memory of something that she had long forgotten about. She usually didn’t remember her dreams, not anymore, since she had all she could ever dream of. She lowered her head back on Gastón’s chest and closed her eyes. Sometimes she wished that she could send a message to her younger self, and tell her that everything would be okay.

[yoificfinder]

Hi! Hope you’re doing well! Do you have any recs for Magic AU fics? Thanks in advance and stay safe! 💖

Hi nonnie, here are some fics where they have magic--categorized into HP/Hogwarts AU and Other Magic AUs (I excluded superhero AUs tho as there's already a masterlist for that):

HP/Hogwarts AU

Canis Major by @yuripaws [G, 8K]

Viktor Nikiforov: Head Boy. Quidditch Captain. Outstanding in all his O.W.L.s. Excelling in all his N.E.W.T. classes.

Something about his eyes reminds Prefect Yuuri Katsuki of the strange dog that likes to patrol the corridors with him at night.

darling, we both know by @astoryaboutwar [E, 31K]

You can grow up with someone and be simultaneously better and worse for it.

(Or: the HP Wizarding World (not set in Hogwarts!) AU where they meet as preteens, fuck as teenagers, fall in love as adults, and occasionally find time to magically figure skate.)

Defying Gravity series by rinsled05 / @dreaming-fireflies [T and E, 58K]

Summary of first fic:

Imagine if Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the demise of you-know-who, started accepting foreign students in an effort for greater unity among wizarding communities around the world. Imagine that, in this changing climate of diversity and social acceptance, Hogwarts also decided to host an exchange programme with select students from Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Academy of Magic for a semester.

Imagine, then, if a young Japanese wizard by the name of Yuuri Katsuki had transferred to Hogwarts to escape his past, just in time to meet a Russian Quidditch player who would blow open the very doors he was trying so desperately to close.

A story of love, magic, and teenagers trying to find themselves.

Falling For Your Charms by Reiya / @kazliin [T, 32K]

Professor Katsuki’s crush on Professor Nikiforov is supposed to be a great secret.

So naturally, the whole school knows

Open At The Touch by @kiaronna [T, 6K]

Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor's hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it's all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in.

"Nishigori," he says in Japanese, "this prank isn't funny. Your English is better than when I left, though."

"Ah," says the fake Viktor Nikiforov in English, voice dipping, and is he blushing? "What was that?"

"Maybe I got hit in the head by a Bludger," Yuuri muses. Viktor's smile grows ever wider, tightening at the edges. "Maybe I never came home from my international Quidditch competition. Maybe I'm lying in the hospital right now, hallucinating."

There has to be an explanation, mystical and magical or medical, for the best Seeker in the Quidditch world showing up at his door; something besides his portrait, which won't stop talking to Yuuri anyway.

Technical Support by @possibleplatypus [T, 18K]

Research had needed a new field-tester (they always needed new testers, as most Aurors would “test” an artefact only once before screaming to be reassigned), and thus the most decorated Auror in recent history was currently shouting into a modified “smart phone.”

Viktor was quite certain that phones were not alive, so he did not understand how they could be intelligent. He found that when it came to Muggles, it was best not to think too deeply into things.

“THIS IS NIKE,” Viktor bellowed into the thin, rectangular case. “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

The Dance of the Veela by @satbiym [M, 17K] *WIP

Listen, Victor has a lot on his plate, not only is he dealing with the dreaded Veela Maturity in a den of iniquity (ahem Hogwarts ahem), but he also has to find an appropriate Consort for his upcoming Veela Maturity Ball, held during the Winter Solstice, amongst the hundreds of people he is surrounded by everyday.

But How Does He Know?

A Fairy Tale in 3 Arcs.

Viktor is Luna Lovegood: The AU series by seventhstar / @pencilwalla [T, M, and E, 33K]

Magical theory nerd Viktor is determined to win quidditch prodigy Yuuri Katsuki's heart. Luckily, Yuuri is too busy crushing on him to notice his throngs of admirers.

warm-up hogwash series by antikytheras [G, 16K]

Summary of first fic:

Viktor Nikiforov is a genius. He tops the level without having to study and he can perform most spells without his wand. He was the second-ever first-year Seeker in the school, and the first Slytherin one at that. He’s a Parselmouth and he’s tamed the other basilisk hidden in the school’s plumbing. He has washboard abs and really defined hipbones. He’s the only son in a long line of pureblood Slytherins and he’s half-Veela and he can speak Mermish and he was born as Voldemort’s secret daughter which is why he’s prettier than half of the girls in school and—

‘Where do you even get all these?’ Viktor asks, eyebrows drawn together in bemusement. 'I'm not even a pureblood, I'm Muggleborn.'

Other Magic AUs

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep by @orchids-and-fictional-cities, @iruutciv [M, 41K]

Katsuki Yuuri has been cursed to spread misery and grief to those who dare to come close to him. Viktor Nikiforov has been sentenced to wander the earth, unable to die, granting wishes to mortals in the hopes that one of them might give his life meaning in exchange.

They meet in a tempest of April snow.

in distant castles mirrors broke by lily_winterwood / @omgkatsudonplease [E, 7K]

Yuuri had discovered his powers at a very young age.

For as long as he remembers, people have talked in hushed whispers around him, about him. About how the Northern Lights had shone at the hour of his birth, about the stars that had burst into existence alongside him. Yuuri has known, from a young age, that he’s destined for some sort of greatness.

The problem is, he’s not sure what sort of greatness it is, or if it’s even really greatness at all. After all, everyone says that sort of stuff about princes.

in which there is a moving castle by @fireblazie [T, 3K]

When Viktor opens his eyes, Yuri is staring at him with a horrified expression.

Granted, Yuri greets him with that face every time Viktor opens his mouth, so Viktor doesn’t quite grasp the gravity of the situation at first. But then it comes to him in stages: a gradual ache settling in his lower back, a peculiar stiffness in his joints, and, most horribly of all—

He runs towards the nearest mirror and freezes at the reflection that gapes back at him.

His hair.

Viktor screams.

(A sort of Howl's Moving Castle AU.)

My Name On Your Lips by @feels-like-fire [E, 108K]

Yuuri Katsuki has been betrothed to the High King's son, Victor, since he was just a child; furthermore, as an omega, he's forbidden from practicing magic in combat. For years, he's been able to put off the former because the Prince was traveling abroad, and gotten around the latter by practicing with his mentor in secret.

Now Victor Nikiforov has finally returned home, and Yuuri is being summoned to the capital for their wedding. He needs a plan to put off marriage long enough to find a way to break the betrothal, while keeping his practicing from being discovered.

If only the Prince didn't have other ideas.

Roses of May by @cuttlemefishwrites [E, 46K] *WIP

At age five, all children are assessed for talent and beauty in the City of Hasetsu and the other eight cities of the Empire. Every year, five are branded with the mark of a rose before being carded off to the Emperor’s palace where they are trained to become Roses, or sacrifices to be sent every May to the Ice Spirit that lives in the castle at the top of the mountain. Roses never return, except for Katsuki Yuuri, who shocks the Empire when he appears again two years after his departure with a silver crown on his head and a blond baby in his arms, demanding the Emperor step down or face the wrath of his husband, the Ice King. But, not everything is what it seems.

to the water's edge by @ebenroot [T, 84K]

Once upon a time, in a secluded tower that rests upon a cliff and is surrounded by tall trees, there lives a young man that faces a certain conundrum:

Katsuki Yuuri has fallen in deeply in love with a man he has never met.

Your Breath, My Skin by @lavenderprose [T, 5K]

"What did you do?" Yuuri mutters as Viktor takes off his coat and scarf.

Viktor's mouth moves soundlessly for a moment, then gestures for a pencil and pad. Yuuri yanks his way through several drawers and finally finds a grocery list pad and an old charcoal. He throws them in Viktor's direction and shuffles into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. Viktor tugs on his sleeve eventually, like a timid child, and Yuuri turns to see what he's written.

"A succubus?" Yuuri demands, teeth going on edge. "Viktor, oh my God. What did you do?"

Or: Viktor needs to stop finding new and creative ways to get himself hexed. Yuuri is Suffering.

---

ETA - Other people's rec:

A Story of Withcraft and Wizardy by @sophialala1 (She also recs other magic/fantasy AU fics in the replies and here's her ao3)

Magic & Ice by @ajwolf84

when the ice melts in the snow (that's when you'll love me) by lilithiumwords / @amberstarfight

Thanks for the rec, @alistairvt! ❤

[do-i-say-something-witty]

Okay but picture this:

Caleb possessing Nick but Nick still having some control.

So, Nick resurfaces at awkward times. Sometimes asking Julie what time it is and what's happened but Julie shakes it off because maybe Nick is having a hard time at home or something.

Throughout the season, we see Willie and Alex getting closer.. Alex and Willie have a moment where it's late at night, Willie is skating and he suddenly gets flashbacks to the night he died. It causes Willie to fall and for a split second, he's back there.. laying on the ground, paramedics all around him. The driver of the car is hyperventilating on the side of the road. Willie is officially dead. He feels cold and scared and he just wants to go back home and laugh as his mom worries for the 10,000th time that his "adrenaline hits" are going to really hurt him one day.

And before he realizes it, he's breathing hard and crying. Alex doesn't know what to do when somebody else is having a panic attack so he just tells Willie to look at him.

He starts turning his spare drumstick in his hand; slowly. He counts softly as he does it. When Willie is calm enough, Alex holds him because there's really nothing else he can do. And even though there's no heartbeat, Willie still closes his eyes and hums to its beat all the same.

Luke and Julie are getting closer too. Now that they can actually touch each other, he's taken to sneaking up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist and even though he does it once a day, Julie still jumps and screams. Their song writing has gotten better and better and Flynn notes on it by saying often which one of her beats matches them

Julie has started to think about how long this'll last. How long until the guys -Luke included- really do have to move on. Or how long until Julie does? Because she is growing, she's maturing and she can't necessarily introduce Luke to her family over awkward-first meeting-dinner.

But Luke still holds her tight when she gets overwhelmed and she thinks that enough for now.

Bobby/Trevor has been obsessed with figuring out just how his former bandmates could be alive...well, alive enough. Carrie still harbors a grudge but she doesn't roll her eyes when she passes Julie and Flynn in the hall so that's something.

Richie has been visiting his folks a lot.. moreso his little sister. She's grown up to be a beautiful young woman who loves to write. She writes letters to Richie whenever a monumental occasion happens. She stuffs them in a little box underneath her bed and says a silent prayer that he's okay.

Then the final ep is of Caleb taking full control of Nick; taking Julie and Willie hostage. Bobby provides the abandoned garage. Now that he's possessing Nick, Caleb can touch humans which means he can hurt humans. And so he hurts Willie. "Because I'm not a barbarian" he says. He tortures Julie another way, by using his magic to make her see Luke dying, her mom dying, EVERYONE DYING because Julie can't cope with being alone; not fully.

The guys found out and Luke wants to go all in, barging through the doors and saving Julie. Alex does his best to be calm and just remember Willie's humming. Richie does a quick check-in to see if his sister is in her room- she's not.

END OF S2

[amydancepants-peralta]

37 or 64 for the prompt thing, please? :3

37: “What did you break this time?” and 64: “You know, it’s a really long story.”

@b99peraltiago Adele, I’m very sorry to be so late with this ... but I’ve combined the two into an AU that I hope you enjoy!  

crash into you 

Series 3 of her favourite podcast, Lingthusiasm, is playing at just the right decibel through Amy Santiago’s earphones as she diverts her Thursday afternoon walk to a soft patch of grass in order stretch out her aching muscles.  According to the majority of her research, a steady pace of 3 to 4.5 mph was the optimum standard pace to maintain fitness.  In order to excel, she had increased to a regulated 5.5mph over the past few days, and her body was not being subtle in its protest.  

She’s not to know it yet, but in the coming days she will be grow to be beyond grateful for the existence of said earphones  - as they act as a complete distraction to her surroundings - and as a result Amy does not sense any impending danger until a shrieking “EEEEEEE! WatchoutIcan’tstopIcan’tstopOHGODICAN’TSTOP!” manages to cut through the otherwise dulcet tones of the host Gretchen’s voice.  

A mere second later, she finds herself falling to the ground as a confusing mixture of weight, cologne and wheels crashes into her, an unfamiliar pair of arms wrapping themselves around her middle as they attempt to absorb the brunt of their descent.  

The blades of grass are cold against her bare arms as she struggles against the sudden oppressive weight, the scent of dirt mixing with this mysterious cologne as she throws her head side to side.  “What the …?”

The weight is lifted as suddenly as it arrived, a steady hand planting itself into the ground next to her neck as the rest of Amy’s senses finally begin to regain control.  With her sunglasses knocked off during the fray (and therefore temporarily out of reach), she squints against the bright rays of the sun, struggling to make sense of what on earth just happened.

Obviously, somebody had crashed into her.  But she still wasn’t sure of the who or the how - or the why, really.  

But what Amy could be sure of, as her mind slowly began to focus on what was directly in front of her, was that she was currently looking into the most expressive pair of eyes she’d ever seen in her life.  Coupled with a prominent nose, strong jawline and tousled brown hair - it’s messy curls almost begging to be toyed with - the sight was distracting, to say the least.  

There’s a dull sound in the back of her mind, a soft baritone that she doesn’t recognise, and as her brows knit with focus Amy realises that the beautiful stranger above her is talking.  Tearing her attention away from the warm gaze in front of her, Amy shakes her head in obvious confusion.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“Are you okay?”

It’s a simple question - one that should come with its own simple response.  She thinks she’s okay - her breath is a little shaky from the shock, and her ankle is throbbing a little from the thwack of what she suspects might be roller skate wheels against her skin, but nothing feels broken.  Her voice seems to be coming and going as it pleases, though, and Amy doesn’t quite trust herself to speak more than a few words, and so she gives a feeble nod.

With a relieved sigh the man shifts, moving to sit slightly upright on the grass next to her.  “I’m so sorry about that.  I called out as loudly as I could, but I don’t think you could hear me until it was too late.”  Shaking his head, he gestures down towards his feet, and Amy lifts her head just a little, taking in what she had correctly suspected - a pair of roller skates, strapped to his feet with bright pink and yellow laces.  

Clearing her throat, Amy slowly props herself up onto one elbow, angling herself towards her assailant.  Her heart still felt like it was beating a little erratically, but no longer seemed to be lodged in her throat, and so she tries speaking something more than just a few words.  “I heard …something, but you’re right.  It was definitely too late.  Maybe a little of ‘I can’t stop’?”

The man nods, changing the motion to a shake immediately after as he reaches down and begins yanking the laces undone.  “There are literally no brakes on them.  Man, I am truly terrible at this.  I haven’t done it in years, and I guess some skills just don’t stay with you over time.”

“Unca Jaaake!”  A tiny voice appears, seemingly from nowhere, and Amy props herself up onto both elbows to gain a better view.  Skating effortlessly towards them was a young girl, no more than six years old, with soft red hair and a bright smile.  Bending her toe towards the sidewalk as she nears Amy and the stranger (Unca Jake seems like a pretty good guess), she comes to a smooth stop in front of them.  “You went off so fast! I couldn’t keep up.  Isn’t this FUN?!”

“TOTALLY fun, Iggy!  So much so that I swept this woman off her feet with all my awesomeness.”  Wincing, he looks back over at Amy.  “I really am sorry, Miss …?”

Smiling, Amy shifts herself into a half-sitting position before offering a hand to shake.  “Santiago.  Amy Santiago.”

His hand feels warm against hers, covering her palm with his gentle grip as he responds politely.  “Jake Peralta.  Or ‘Unca Jake’, as this one likes to call me.”  Returning his attention towards the skates, he yanks each one off of his feet with a triumphant shout.  “She and I thought it would be a great idea to go skating in the park.  Obviously, a better decision for one more than the other.”

Looking up, Amy watches with a grin as the girl in front of them launches into a series of twirls, holding both arms out in the kind of carefree manner that only a happy child can do.  “Yeah.  I hate to break this to you, but I think she might be a slightly better skater than you.”

“Oh my god, what did you break this time?!”  A new, definitely more mature voice cuts into their conversation, and from beside her Jake sighs.

“She didn’t break anything, Gina.  This was all me.”

A tall redhead screeches to a stop in front of the two of them, one hand reaching out to adjust the strap on her elbow guard as she throws Jake a withering stare.  Her eyes flit over towards Amy, her calculated glare making Amy feel oddly self-conscious, and with a roll of her eyes she returns her attention back to the man beside her.  “I’m not talking about Iggy, you doofus.  I know it wasn’t her - my girl can glide like an angel.  Clearly, if anybody was going to break anything today, it was you.”

“Wish somebody had thought to tell me that,” Jake mutters, balling his hand into a fist and pushing it into the grass as he lifts himself up.  Once standing he turns towards Amy, offering her his hand, and she accepts with a smile.  His hand really did feel nice and welcoming. 

“So you’re just going around knocking down strangers now, huh?”

“You know it was an accident, Gina.  I’m just thankful that nobody ended up hurt.  This is Amy, by the way.”  He gestures towards Amy, and she waves at the redhead in response.  “The lovely woman who was innocently walking through the park before I appeared out of nowhere and bowled her over.”

Reaching out her hand, Amy takes a step towards the other woman before stopping in her tracks with a sharp intake of breath.  “Ouch!”  

Jake is front of her in an instant, reaching out a comforting hand and resting it on her upper arm for support.  “Whoa, did I hurt you after all?”

Using her free hand to shield her eyes from the sun, Amy looks at the man in front of her, once again picking up on the obvious concern in his eyes.  She gives her ankle a little test wriggle, grimacing slightly as it throbs again in protest.  It’s definitely angry; but she can still move her foot without impediment, and so she shakes her head, offering Jake a comforting smile.  “No, I think my ankle’s just a little irritated, post-skate attack.  Nothing a little ice and elevation can’t fix.” 

His hand remains on her upper arm - a fact that Amy is becoming increasingly aware of - and Jake’s eyes watch her carefully as she gives him a friendly shrug.  “Are you sure?”

“Moooooom … I’m bored!”

“Me too, Iggs.  Me too.”

Holding back a laugh, Amy nods.  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Reluctantly Jake pulls away, throwing a quick glare in his friend’s direction before returning his attention to Amy, patting the pockets of his jeans.  “Okay, uh … look.  I’m a doctor.”  Fishing a card out of his back pocket, he smooths the worn edges before handing it to Amy.  “If you start to feel worse at any point in the next 24 hours, I want you to call me, okay?  Any time, day or night.”

Plucking the card from his outstretched hand, Amy reads the inscription with surprise.  Jake Peralta: Oncologist.  Who knew her routine walk would ever be interrupted by a roller skating oncologist?  She grins, holding back a giggle as she looks back up at the man in front of her.  “Okay.  I’m pretty sure I’m fine, but … thank you.”

“Day or night.  You could have a concussion, or bruised ribs … I’d hate to have you hurting.  So, you know.  Call me if you are.”

Amy nods, bidding her goodbyes as she slowly begins to step back, snatching up her sunglasses and trying her very best not to limp in any obvious way as she goes.  “Will do.  Thanks for the card, and … hope you get better at roller skating.”

Jake’s blindingly bright grin is the last thing Amy sees before she turns around, missing his raised hand’s departing wave as she begins to make her way home.  It was ridiculous, but part of her couldn’t help but notice the tiny butterflies that began fluttering through her stomach the moment that man had smiled at her.  Not to mention the way his hand had felt so perfectly warm against her own.  

Or his kind eyes that seemed to absorb everything she said, when really she hadn’t had much to say at all.  

Shaking her head, Amy digs her house key out from its hidden pocket in her leggings, unlocking her front door and heading straight to the kitchen for an ice pack and a glass of wine (in that order).  It made absolutely zero sense, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had just developed a massive crush on an absolute stranger.  

And she had no idea what she was going to do about it.

*

As it turns out, a few glasses of wine with your ankle propped up on the couch gives a normally shy woman a certain amount of courage; and so later that very night Amy sent a polite thank you text to the number on Jake’s business card.  (She is, after all, a massive advocate for thank you notes - or any kind of well-mannered correspondence, for that matter.)

Responding within minutes, Jake is obvious in his relief: thankful that he hadn’t left her completely damaged after his horrible attempt to keep up with a six year old.  

I honestly would have felt like the worst person ever, his text read, and Amy smiled at his candour.  Her thumb is still hovering over the keyboard, trying to figure out a casual way to keep the conversation going (even though it has only just begun, she really doesn’t want it to end just yet) when her phone vibrates again in her hand - this time with a photo of Jake on the ground, obviously having fallen again on his way home.  She’s replying with the laughing emoji before she can stop herself, and when he responds with a facepalm and a longwinded description of just how he managed to stack it on the concrete path near his house, Amy gets that warm feeling all over again - like they’ve known each other for way longer than just half a day.

Before she knows it, over half an hour has passed, and her phone has had a steady run of Dr Peralta messages the entire time.  Her eyes are still sparkling from all the laughter when the texts seem to pause for a minute or two, and with her heart leaping out of her chest Amy reads his latest message - a shy fragment of sentences, asking her to dinner the following evening.  

It’s all she can do not to respond with a oh gosh yes! - choosing instead to type out a less manic version of I’d love to, adding in the blushing emoji and ignoring the throb in her ankle as she begins a happy celebratory dance in her living room.  

It’s hard to explain, this feeling she gets whenever they speak, but Amy has the strongest instinct that this could be the start of something amazing.  

*

Jake sits across from her the following evening, the nerves obvious on his face as he fidgets with the napkin on the table, and Amy would like to say she’s faring a little better, but she definitely isn’t.  

Smoothing her hands against the red dress she’s had hanging in her cupboard for months now - waiting for just the right occasion for it’s debut - Amy wills her legs to stop bouncing with restless energy as she waits for the waiter to finish taking their order.  There’s a glass of white wine to both of their lefts, and while part of her is dying to empty the glass right away, there’s another part that wishes they had just ordered a bunch of shots instead.  According to her oldest friend Kylie, her reactions seem to vary dependent on the amount she consumes, but there’s something to be said for the influx of Liquid Courage.  

He’d told her she was beautiful when they’d met outside the restaurant earlier, his eyes so wide and sincere that all of the first date jitters that had been simmering in Amy’s stomach on the walk over had immediately turned into an inferno.  Had held the door open for her, giving her a gentle smile as she passed him by, and when she caught a whiff of the same cologne she’d noticed the day before, her heart had skipped a tiny beat.  

It was ridiculous, this pull she felt towards somebody that had literally been a stranger two days ago, but Amy wasn’t even slightly interested in stopping it.

Handing over his menu to the waiter as he departs, Jake flickers his gaze in Amy’s direction, raising his eyebrows slightly when he notices Amy is already looking his way.  His hesitation is obvious as his nerves get the better of him, opening his mouth before closing it just as quickly, and Amy - the woman who has attended more Toastmaster courses than most - decides to pull him out of the deep end.

“So … you’re an oncologist?”

He nods, a tiny smile of relief growing on his face.  “Yeah.  I’m based at Brooklyn Methodist most of the week, and every other Friday I do a little pro-bono work for community health.”

She nods, already invested in hearing more.  There was a handsome man sitting across from her in a pale grey shirt, a dark grey blazer and a smile that rivalled the lamp on every table for brightness.  He could start reading from the paper, and she’d be invested.  “That’s an interesting field to go into.  What led you down that path?”

Amy watches as the slightest tinge of pink begins to creep over his cheeks, and damn it if it isn’t incredibly endearing.  He hesitates for a moment, eventually raising his hand in a half-dismissive wave.  “You know, it’s a really long story.”

She waits, cocking her head slightly to the side, and after a minute Jake breaks out into a grin.  

“Okay, fine.  It was just me and my Mom growing up, and she was working two or three jobs to pay bills and whatever, so a lot of the time I would stay at my Nan’s until I was old enough to stay on my own.  We got really close, because my Nan was awesome, and when I was in my sophomore year of high school she got really sick.”  His face falls slightly, and he reaches for the glass of wine to his right.  Letting the wine trickle down his throat, Jake studies the glass a little more than necessary, and when he finally turns his attention back to Amy the look on his face makes everything else in the restaurant turn dim.  “We couldn’t afford a lot, but we went to so many doctors, trying to find answers, ya know?  And nobody seemed to be able to help.”

Amy’s hand seems to move of its own accord, reaching across the table to rest against Jake’s wrist before she even realises what’s happening.  His eyes flickers down to her touch before returning to her eyes, and the softness of his gaze only makes her squeeze gently in silent encouragement.  

“And … you know, this was a time before Google made everyone doctors, or even a reference point like WebMD, so it wasn’t too long before I found myself down at the local library - literally any chance I could get - just reading and studying and …. I dunno, trying to figure out what I could do to save her.  I was just completely in the zone.  Honestly, the library lady thought that I had been possessed by some other kid.”  Rolling his eyes, he gives a little shrug.  “They weren’t entirely wrong, if I’m being honest.  I simply couldn’t bear the thought of sitting back and just … waiting for this thing to destroy somebody I loved.”

Nodding slowly, Amy leans forward and uses the leverage to start a soothing stroke up and down her date’s forearm.  This is far more contact than she would normally offer on a first date - heck, maybe even more than a second date - but she cannot ignore this instinctual need she has to comfort the man across from her.  

Out of the corner of her eye she notices their waiter walking towards them, bottle of wine in hand ready for the pour, and she gives him a subtle shake of her head.  There was a story to tell here - she could see it in Jake’s eyes - and even though she’s fairly certain she knows where it’s going, she has no interest in rushing him through it.

Bringing his right hand up to the table, Jake fiddles with his dessert spoon, tracing the smooth outside edge with his thumb as a distraction.  “Anyway.  Despite all my hopes of becoming some kind of overnight Doogie Howser, things just kept getting worse for Nan, and … yeah.  Too little, too late.”  Scooping the arm of the utensil up with his fingers, he flips it over a few times, keeping his eyes locked on the flashes of metal against the beige tablecloth.  

Taking a deep breath Amy stills her hand on Jake’s arm, waiting until he’s looking back at her before continuing.  “I’m really sorry to hear that, Jake.”

He smiles, an action that barely meets his eyes, his face so soft it makes her heart ache.  “Thanks, Amy.”  His hand stills, foregoing the spoon to scratch an itch along his jawline.  “Anyway, by the time all that happened I was like … two months away from graduating school, and medicine had pretty much become the only thing I knew.  Add that to a surprisingly good SAT score, and next thing I knew I was on my way to medical school.  Broke as hell, studying during the day and working through the night, but … what little inheritance we’d gotten from Nan, my mom insisted it go towards my education, and I was not going to waste that opportunity.”

Chewing slightly on her lower lip, Amy studies the man in front of her.  “I think it’s amazing that you’re able to help so many people now, Jake.”  He shrugs, and she continues.  “No, really.  It takes a special kind of soul to be able to take the pain and make it into something stronger.”  

“I mean, it’s not all perfect.  I’m still paying off the tuition fees, to this day.  My da- someone was going to help me with it, but that’s a whole other story.”  He sighs, pursing his lips slightly before continuing.  “In saying that, I’ve think I’ve been able to help a decent amount of people.  And Gina - the woman I was skating with yesterday? - she’s been my friend since childhood; and now she’s my administrative assistant.  She has a surprisingly great way of sensing what my patients want to hear while they’re waiting for their appointment, and just provides the perfect distraction every time.  So yeah, I think it’s turned out kinda okay.”  The table falls silent for a moment, and just as Amy is about to break the hush, Jake blinks rapidly, shaking his head.  “God, I’m sorry.  I just blurted out like … half of my life story to you.  I don’t even know where that came from, I’m so sorry.”

Tightening her grip on Jake’s arm, Amy shakes her head quickly.  “No, please don’t apologise.  I really loved hearing about it.”  Slowly, she began to pull her hand away.  “And for what it’s worth, I bet your Nan would have been really proud of you.”

Watching as the blush returns to his cheeks, Amy takes a deep breath in as Jake’s smile begins to return.  He nods, his voice suddenly a lot softer.  “Yeah, she definitely would be.”

Glancing around the room, his hand runs down the middle of his dress shirt, fingertips skimming over the pale coloured buttons as he gives Amy a sly grin.  “I should probably confess something, though.  I was really, really glad when you texted me to say you were feeling okay - and not just in the ‘thank god I didn’t break a stranger’s ankle’ kind of way.”

“Oh?”

Jake’s still-fidgety right hand runs through the back of his hair, his expression turning sheepish.  “Yeah.  I mean, obviously I would have had you come in right away, strapped up your foot or whatever, but … it also would have meant that you’d have become my patient.”  He pauses to swallow, rubbing the underside of his ear.  “And if you were my patient, I technically wouldn’t have been allowed to ask you out, and that’s just … I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m really happy that we were able to do this.”

The tip of Amy’s ears begin to heat up and she ducks her head slightly, quickly tucking her hair back before looking back up at Jake with a smile.  “Me too, Jake.”

Grinning, Jake’s teeth dig slightly into his bottom lip, and he nods.  “Anyway.  Enough about me.  I’m dying to know more about you.  What do you, when you’re not getting barrelled down by lunatic doctors in open fields?”

Chuckling at her date’s description of yesterday afternoon, Amy sits up slightly as she answers proudly - “I’m in the NYPD.  A detective, actually.”

“No way!  That’s so badass.  I bet you kick butt.”  Jake’s eyes light up, and he leans in closer, arms brushing against the edge of the table as they are relegated to his lap.  “Die Hard was not-so-secretly my favourite movie growing up, and for the longest time I was certain I was going to be a cop just like John McClane.”

Amy nods in understanding.  At least two of her brothers counted Die Hard as one of their all-time favourites, and she has spent many an evening stuck on the couch, watching the action thriller.  “Ah, I see.  Well … I’m sorry to tell you this, but I haven’t once jumped off the roof of a burning building.  Or climbed through ventilation ducts to save a bunch of hostages from certain death.”

“Yet.  You haven’t jumped off the roof of a burning building, yet.”

She laughs.  “You’re right.  My mistake.  I’ll be sure to call you when I do.”

He beams.  “I hope you do.”

To the approaching waiter they must have looked particularly odd - the two of them sitting in total silence as they smiled at each other from across the table - but Amy genuinely cannot remember ever feeling as comfortable on her first date as she does right now.  

Their easy conversation rolls on throughout their meals, ranging from stories about Amy’s most memorable collars to the patients that Jake has never been able to forget, and Amy is halfway through a story about which brother gave her the scar on her right elbow when the waiter reappears, quietly letting them know that several hours have passed and the restaurant was now ready to close.

She’s still blushing slightly as Jake pays the bill, smiling apologetically at the staff as her date holds out her coat.  In the blink of an eye, they had managed to spend the entire night talking, and yet somehow she still wanted to know more.  

Jake’s touch feels light against the small of her back as he leads them towards the exit, and as they step out into the night Amy leans her head back to take in the peppered light of the stars above.  She’s never been one to believe in fate, but maybe when it came to this, she needed to make an exception.

His hand reaches for hers after the third or fourth block, and as they walk together Amy begins to realise that of all the years she’s spent as a detective solving puzzles, she’d never actually found her own missing piece - and maybe, just maybe, the sweet and charming man beside her was going to be the perfect fit.  

They walk for longer than either of them intended, the stories from earlier in the evening picking up as though they were never interrupted, and when they finally end up outside Amy’s apartment she cannot hide the sadness that begins to wash over her. 

He kisses her goodnight, and it’s the kind of kiss that begins so soft and delicate, before turning into so much more … even though she knows it’s impossible, Amy swears she can hear the fireworks sparking above them.  His arms keep her close to his chest as they both lean in for another, the pounding beat of both of their hearts fighting through the fabric of their coats, and when he finally bids her goodbye, Amy knows that already she is falling, falling, falling.  

By the end of the following week, there have been two more dates (and perhaps one sleepover), and in a few years time Gina will tell an entirely different version of how they met to their family and friends at their wedding reception.

It will be a couple more years before their family begins to expand; but as they grow, Amy is always happy to remind their children that her knight in shining armour turned out to be a doctor with ill-fitting skates - and that sometimes, you just have to let your future crash into you.  

(And when the time comes to actually teach their kids how to roller skate, maybe Amy chooses to do it on a day when her husband is already tied up with work.)

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Six

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand.

Warnings: mature content, cursing

Let me know if you want to be tagged:)

Enjoy! 

SIX

We pulled up outside the family house--an enormous, Colonial-style building, complete with six bedrooms, too many bathrooms to count, an enormous kitchen, and several living areas. My father had purchased it as soon as his business had started flourishing again in the middle of last year. I’d never understood why he’d bought such a large home for himself alone. I figured it was something about overtly displaying just how much wealth he’d regained to everyone in our home town. I didn’t concern myself with it too much; I’d never actually lived in the house anyway.

Nesta had for a few months before she’d moved down to Prythian to live near me and Elain. I’m pretty sure she’d lived on the opposite side of the house from my father to avoid running into him as much as possible until she’d saved enough money from her flight attendant job to get a place of her own. . . Out of the three of us, Nesta got along with my dad the least. 

Rhys charmed Elain instantly, asking her questions about her baking, her gardening, her nursing classes. He skillfully avoided all talk of significant others, for which I was grateful, and by the end of the car ride Elain was half in love with him.

Elain hopped out of the car as soon as she pulled onto the enormous bricked driveway. I remained inside with Rhys for a moment. I twisted around in the backseat to look at him. 

“Here is my final warning and disclaimer to you. I love Nesta, don’t get me wrong. But she will be a bitch to you. I don’t know how my father will act around. . .” I trailed off.

“Never brought a boy home, Feyre darling? I’ll try to pretend I’m not immensely flattered at the idea.”

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. “Of course I’ve brought boys home. You’re not that special.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Archeron. Let’s go meet your family.” 

If I was being honest, his eagerness scared me a little.  I took a deep breath and followed him up the front walk, bags in tow. Elain burst into the house and I timidly followed her through the enormous entry way, painted a pleasant cream above the dark wood flooring. Past the staircase and to the right, we found my father and Nesta in the kitchen talking. 

More like arguing, They weren’t yelling, though, which was progress for those two.

“I don’t like you working as a flight attendant, Nesta. You got an engineering degree for a reason, you know.” 

“I don’t care. Working on planes is much more fun. I get to see new places during long layovers or overnight stays. So butt. Out. Dad.”

Elain cleared her throat. Realizing they now had company, they both shut up rather quickly. I was grateful. I wanted to spare Rhys from the family theatrics for as long as possible. Even if things had been better between all four of us for the past year or so. 

“Feyre!” My dad exclaimed, unusually perky. It was probably for Rhys’s benefit.  He moved to hug me and I acquiesced, glancing at Nesta out of the corner of my eye. She shrugged.

“And you must be Rhysand. I have to say, I was quite surprised when Feyre told me she was bringing a boy home for Thanksgiving dinner who wasn’t Tamlin.” My cheeks were absolutely flaming at this point. I decided to stare at my shoes. 

Also, how could he mention Tamlin? He didn’t know a thing about our relationship except that we were broken up and I never wanted to speak of it again. Oblivious to all the embarrassment he was currently causing me, my father extended his hand to Rhys.

Rhys gripped it tightly, his crutch wedged underneath his arm.  I was pleased to see that his grip was firm. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Yes.” My father had suddenly become quite solemn.  “And what are you majoring in, Rhysand?” 

Oh dear.

“International Relations, sir.” 

“And what do you plan to do with that?”

And God bless him, Rhys didn’t miss a beat. “My father is an Operations Manager for a large global company. I plan to follow in his footsteps to manage a large company, particularly--”

I decided that that was enough. “Okay, Dad! I’m going to give Rhys a house tour. What time’s dinner?”

My father gave Rhys a look as though their conversation wasn’t over as I grabbed his arm and hustled him out of the kitchen.  

I forced Rhys up the stairs. “Oh my god. What right does he have to give my friends the first-degree as soon as he meets them? He didn’t try to parent me in high school, so why start now? It’s not like you’re my--”

“Boyfriend?” He smirked. “It was fine, Feyre. I know what I plan to do with my degree.”

“You shouldn’t have to answer to him.”

“Relax,” he said as he followed me up the second flight of stairs. “By the end of this week, your father will love me.”

He met me at the top of the stairs, seeing as I’d stormed up them and he’d had to carefully ease his way up with his boot and crutches. Barely a hand’s breadth between us, he stood with his back to the stairs as I stared up at him. 

“Why waste your time trying to make such a good impression?” I couldn’t take my eyes away from his face. I realized suddenly just how much taller than me he was.

“Consider it a long term investment.”

“Why invest in that?”

He edged around me and set off down one of the hallways. “Show me the house, Feyre darling. Isn’t that what we came up here to do?”

I could think of other things. The thought coalesced inside my mind, unbidden. I was the only one who lived on the third floor of this house. Those things I was thinking of doing . . . wouldn’t be difficult to accomplish here.

Nope. No, no, no. Not an option. 

But as I followed Rhys down the corridor, I couldn’t help. . . wondering what it would be like. Kissing him, touching him, calling him mine. . . 

“Archeron! You coming? I don’t actually know where I’m going.”

I puffed out my cheeks. Shit.

We worked our way through all the bedrooms and living rooms on the second floor and finally made it to the staircase that led to my room, alone on the third floor. It was quite a spacious room, actually, with an amazing attached bathroom. What I didn’t realize was how Rhys would get up the extremely narrow staircase. Technically, the third floor had been something like the servants’ quarters a hundred years ago, now remodeled and modernized. But the fact remained that the staircase was much too narrow for Rhys to get up with his crutches. 

“You don’t have to see my room. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about it,” I said, glancing down at his foot.

He set his crutches against the wall. “I’m seeing your room, Feyre,” he said confidently.

I raised my eyebrows. “Well, okay then. Do you want to go first?”

“I can walk perfectly fine, Feyre. Chill.” 

“Boys,” I muttered under my breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just get your ass up the stairs.”

“Bossy. I like a woman in charge.”

“Get your ass up the stairs, Rhysand!” 

He chuckled. And began his slow ascent. It wasn’t that he was weak, it was that his boot was big and clunky and he wasn’t technically supposed to put his weight on it very often, according to Madja. On the narrow staircase, maneuvering the boot would be difficult. But he made his way up, giving me an extremely convenient view of his ass through his jeans as he climbed. I followed him until we reached the top and then squeezed past him on the tiny landing.

“Prepare to be amazed. My father ensured I had the room of my dreams even though I’ve never truly lived here. Parental guilt for not really providing for me all through high school.” 

Rhys stood, arms crossed, waiting. 

I sighed. This felt strangely intimate. I’d never had a boy in my room before. I mean sure, Tamlin had visited my dorm a few times but because he was older we had almost always ended up at his place at night. And my room wasn’t really “lived in” seeing as I’d never lived in the house. But it was mine, and I’d gotten to choose all the decorations, all the pictures… everything. 

“Okay.” I turned the door handle and stepped briskly into my room, eager to get this over with. 

Rhys hobbled inside, his gaze floating over the white-covered, four poster bed pushed against the far wall, two large windows on either side. His gaze floated over the dark wood floors, covered by a gray rug under my bed and a pale blue one under the sitting area, complete with a fireplace, couch, and two arm plush grey armchairs. It floated over my bookshelf, filled with all the books I didn’t have room for in my townhouse back at school. And landed on the grey walls, covered with paintings.

Every one of them painted by me. 

There were landscapes, and abstracts, and a few canvases covered only with my favorite book or movie quotes.  

He stepped into the center of the room and halted, turning in place, staring at the paintings. “Did you paint all of these?”

I leaned against my door. “Yeah…” 

He kept looking. 

“That bad, huh?” 

He tore his gaze from the walls of my bedroom. “What? No. The exact opposite. This is--these are-- These are amazing, Feyre. I had no idea you were a painter.”

“I’ve sort of run out of time for it in college. Haven’t painted since. . .” I hadn’t really painted since Tamlin and I had gotten together. “Since the beginning of my freshman year. I miss it,” I said, and suddenly felt the urge to march downstairs and into the garage to retrieve all my old paint buckets, brushes, and the canvases that I knew were waiting for me. 

“Wow. I’d pay money for one of these. You have an incredible talent, Feyre.”  His eyes alighted on the painting hung above my fireplace. “Is that your mother?”

I nodded, smiling a little. “I painted it based off of a picture of her my dad has. She died before I really picked up the hobby. But that’s her.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I nodded and decided it was safe to enter the room. My paintings were a part of my soul. And I realized that if Rhys had looked at them and insulted them, or worse, just skated over their existence, I would have been crushed. Thank goodness he hadn’t. I collapsed onto my bed. I was suddenly exhausted from the morning practice that felt like it had been days ago and the following four hour drive spent with Rhys. He limped over and sat next to me as I stared up at the ceiling. 

“This is why you were so nervous to bring me up here?” He asked softly.

I nodded. 

“Anyone would be crazy not to be impressed by your art.”

“It was kind of a weird hobby to have in high school. I mostly kept it to myself. Not sure why the kids at my school thought painting in your spare time was weird.”

He was silent for a moment, as though debating what to say. Then-- “Well I, personally, find painting in your spare time to be hot.” 

I sat up, my face coming within inches of his. If I moved forward just a bit, my lips would meet his. 

“Incredibly hot,” he went on. 

It was almost as if my body was leaning forward of its own accord.

“In fact, it might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “Now you’re just making things up.”

He smiled and I might have melted a little bit.

“Maybe.” I could feel his breath on my cheek. Minty. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect? 

I leaned closer. Consequences be damned. We were inches apart, so close my eyelids had fluttered closed, when--

“Feyre! Dinner!”

“Shit,” he whispered.

I swallowed. “We should go.”

He nodded. “Mmhm.”

I led him back across the landing and down the stairs. I’d reached the bottom step when he swore (again) and---

“Shit!” 

I almost felt him trip before he stumbled forward, and I whirled around, gripping his shoulders in an effort to steady him at the bottom of the stairs. His hands reached out and grabbed my waist as he regained his balance. 

“You good?” I asked, breathing more heavily than I should have been. Heat flared up and down my body from where his hands had set themselves around my middle. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

He still hadn’t let go. I didn’t want him to. 

“Dinner. We have to go eat dinner. Your father probably thinks I’m doing unspeakable things to you right now, Feyre darling.”

Heat flooded my cheeks again. “Right.” And shaking my head, I released his shoulders and as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, I chided myself for my weakness, for the desire to kiss him that had been growing steadily all day, all week. 

------

Later that night, after a tense dinner with my father, I came downstairs after my shower to find Rhysand and my dad shouting at the television together. Prythian University’s men’s basketball team was on the screen, playing some school I’d never really heard of. Rhys and my father were berating the referees as I took a seat on the couch next to Rhys--a healthy two feet away from him.

Just to be sure.

“I didn’t realize either of you were so invested in college basketball…”

Rhys tore his eyes away from the screen to gape at me, openmouthed. “You go to Prythian and you don’t care about our basketball team? They were in the top four in the country last year.”

I shrugged. “I’m just not that into it.”

“I can’t believe I’m friends with you.” He placed a special emphasis on the word “friends.” I prayed my father didn’t notice his change of tone.

“Hey!”

My dad chimed in. “Can’t say I blame him, Feyre. Neglecting to educate you in team sports has been the biggest regret of my life.”

“Oh, please. You’re both making me feel like public enemy number one in my own house.” 

Rhys poked me in the side and I hissed, then settled back on the couch for the next hour as the pair of new-best-friends shouted and raged and cheered at the screen until, in double-overtime, Prythian won out. 

“Thank God that’s over,” I mumbled, although I was secretly happy Prythian had come out on top in the end.

“I’m dragging you to a basketball game when we get back to campus. Athletes get free tickets. You know that right?”

“Of course I know that.” Nevermind that I’d never used that particular advantage.

My dad stood up. “Well, kids, I’m headed to bed. Feyre, Rhys knows where his room is, right?” He gave me a look. Then bestowed another, different look, on Rhys.

“Yes, Dad. Good night.” I narrowed my eyes and he (thankfully) departed quickly. 

That left Rhys and me, alone in the dark living room. Nesta and Elain had gone off to bed hours ago.  An awkward silence ensued. 

“Well,” I stood. “I guess I should get to bed.”

Rhys followed suit. “Yep,” he said lamely. 

As he crutched after me toward the staircase, I spoke up, just to break the silence between us that hadn’t been there moments before. “I can’t believe how fast you charmed my father.”

He chuckled. “I hate to be so predictable, but I am a man and I do love televised sports.”

I sighed. “I’m not judging.”

We made it to the top of the stairs and I walked him to his room. He paused in the doorway. “I really am grateful though, despite your rather unfortunate lack of interest in sports. Grateful you invited me here.”

“What are teammates for?” I said, remembering what he’d asked me on that night a month ago. 

He smiled a little, as though remembering that night too. “Good night, Feyre.”

“Good night, Rhys.”

It was difficult to refrain from inviting him up to my room to… just to have him near me. But I made myself turn away from him and climb the narrow staircase to my solitary bedroom at the top of the house. 

I’d just crawled into bed when a text came through on my phone. I lunged for the nightstand, knocking my phone to the floor in the process. Relieved that no one had been around to witness such a display of grace and decorum, recognizing how obviously desperate I was for Rhys to text me, I reached down, scooped up my phone, and pulled up my messages.

Tamlin Spring: I heard you took Rhys home with you for Thanksgiving

All the air left my body. 

Tamlin Spring: You never took me home to meet your family. I didn’t realize you were such a slut. Did a year with me mean nothing to you?

Tamlin Spring: I would take you back--if you got on your knees in front of me and begged 

Tamlin Spring: You were only ever good on your knees, anyway

Now it felt as though all the blood had left my body too. 

I threw my phone against the room. I sat up in my bed, face in my hands. I should just ignore his messages and leave it alone. He had no right to comment on what I was doing. Who had even told him I’d invited Rhys home with me for Thanksgiving, anyway? Besides, it was just friends helping friends. Rhys being here didn’t mean anything. It certainly didn’t make me a slut.

But as my phone buzzed again, and then again, as I tried to shut my eyes and shut out what he’d said. . . I couldn’t stop rereading his texts inside my head. Was I just a slut? A traitor for having these feelings for Rhys so soon after ending things with Tamlin?

He would still take me back? Like that was going to happen. But. . . I remembered what he’d said when he’d kidnapped me and forced me to drink…. Something about just giving me space, as though he didn’t think we were actually broken up...

But if he was telling me I was a slut over a text… He’d probably spread that rumor to the rest of the team by now. Along with a story about how I was a cheater too. After I’d worked so hard to stay out of the drama and sexual intrigue so abundant on my swim team. Against my will, tears leaked from between my fingers.

My phone buzzed for a third time and I dragged myself out of bed to retrieve it. I was determined to silence it and cry myself to sleep, but instead of another text from Tamlin, three from Rhys popped up.

Rhys: What was that bang? 

Rhys: I’m in the room underneath yours, I think

Rhys: FEYRE ARE YOU ALIVE

As I read them, another popped up.

Rhys: Don’t make me come up there

I started typing my response, telling him I was fine and to go to bed when a soft knock sounded at my door. I padded over to it and pulled it open.

“How did you get up here so fast?” I whispered.

“Texted as I walked. Obviously.”

“Well you didn’t need to waste the trip. I threw my phone at the ground.”

“Your phone is enormous. The bang caused the elaborate chandelier over my bed to swing ominously. I feared for my life.” He was teasing me. But then the smile melted from his face as he noticed what I was wearing. 

A large grey t-shirt that came to rest mid-thigh. And nothing else. I didn’t even have it in me to blush, I was so intent on not letting him see the tears left on my face. He looked down only for a moment, though, before his gaze settled firmly above my neckline. 

“Thanks for checking on me, Rhys.” I turned to go.

Slut. The word echoed through my mind. I was sure to return to the team to find myself at the center of all the gossip. What would Cassian and Mor think? Would they believe the rumors? We hadn’t been friends for long. I’d barely interacted with Amren and Azriel at this point. They’d surely believe the rumors. 

Rhys caught my arm, taking a few steps farther into my room. “Feyre. What’s wrong? Why did you throw your phone at the floor?”

I had no idea why I gave up so easily, but I brandished my phone at him. He took it from me and I stared at the wall beside his head as he found the texts from Tamlin and read them. 

“What. An. Asshole,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It’s fine.”

He gave my phone back to me. “No, no it’s not. He needs to leave you the fuck alone. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Now I really did turn away. “I don’t need the encouragement, Rhys. He’s right, yeah? I’m just a slut. Moving on way too quickly.”

He raced around to stand in front of me. “No. You are not a slut. Your relationship is over. You ended it the right way. And for good reason, too.  Nothing he just texted you has an ounce of truth to it. You should block him and forget about it.”

I didn’t say anything, just kept my eyes glued to the ground. I didn’t trust myself to look at him. I’d probably try to act on my “slutty tendencies” if I looked into his violet eyes. 

Two fingers hooked under my chin and pulled my face up to his. “Feyre. I promise you. You’re doing nothing wrong.” 

I couldn’t stop the fresh tears that escaped me. How had a few text messages from an asshole managed to upset me so much? Or maybe I was crying in relief that Rhys was so vehemently disagreeing with what Tamlin had sent. Either way, the tears kept coming as he looked at me. And then, slowly--so very slowly--he removed his fingers from my chin and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me toward him. 

I stood there for a moment as he held me, arms hanging uselessly at my sides. And then I hugged him back, my arms coming up and over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. I slid one hand into his soft black hair. “Thanks for coming for me,” I whispered. “And I don’t just mean tonight.” 

He huffed out a breath. “Anytime.” 

I didn’t let go for a long, long time. Until I realized…

“Where the hell is your boot?”

He pulled back, his hands still resting lightly on my waist. “Uh…”

“Rhysand Night!” I whacked his arm. “You walked up here without your boot! Don’t you want to heal?!” 

He put his hands on his hips. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t putting a whole lot of weight on his injured foot. “I heard a large thump and came up here prepared to defend you from a murderer or something, and this is how you thank me?”

I pushed him backward, forcing him to take a seat on my bed. “I can kill my own murderers, thank you very much. Now sit. I’m going to get your boot right now.”

But he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me roughly toward him so I stood between his legs. My hands came to rest on his shoulders to steady myself. “I’m trying to make sure you can train sooner rather than later, you know,” I managed to say, but the thrill at being so close to him like this was overriding nearly every other thought in my mind.

“I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” 

And then he kissed me. 

I was stunned for only a moment before my hands moved from his shoulders to thread through his silky black hair. His lips pressed against mine, so soft. His kiss was firm, neither too gentle nor too rough, and mere seconds passed before his tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him in. 

His tongue swept in and he inched back on the bed, keeping his mouth firmly planted against mine, pulling me onto the bed after him. His size hit me again, then. I was so small compared to him. He removed his lips from mine and he eased me onto my back. Turning, he leaned over me and his mouth claimed mine again, this time slightly more eager, as his right hand moved from my hair, down my side, coming to rest at my waist. I kept one hand firmly entangled in his hair while the other ran down his chest. He was so damn muscular. 

I’d always been a sucker for swimmer’s bodies. 

He pulled away for a moment. “So…”

I let out an irritated squeak of protest, but he slipped a hand beneath my shirt and flattened it against my stomach. I shut up. 

“Earlier you said something about moving on too quickly.” His hand slid up a little bit.

“Hmm, I don’t recall…” I breathed, in a very futile attempt to hide how desperate I was for him to keep touching me, kissing me. More, more, more, I wanted.

His hand inched up, his thumb now caressing the skin just beneath my breasts. I was definitely not wearing a bra.

“What did you mean by that, Feyre darling?”

I tried desperately to suck down a breath as his hand slid up. . . 

“Aren’t you smart enough to figure that out yourself, Rhysand?”

“Rhysand? You cruel, beautiful thing.” 

His hand flattened against my breast and I lost all control as I pulled him down to kiss him again. 

He smiled against my lips, and the joy that flooded through my body as a result of his happiness was almost better than how good it felt to feel his hands on my body, his lips on mine, his weight against me. Almost… 

We stayed like that for quite a while, kissing, not going much farther, before he crawled under the covers, tucked me against him, and we fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAGS:))

@sleeping-and-books​  @musicalfae​

[lukatastrophe]

When she’s worth the efforts.

Merry Christmas @sasami-mashiro !! I was your @mlsecretsanta​ this year ! I hope you will like it !

Thanks to my dear friend @chattheblackcat​ who was my beta reader and helped me fixing the flaws ! 

Marinette was rushing all around her room, she was already late. So very late. An akuma attack had delayed her preparation time. All she could do now was quickly put on a dress and grab her coat before leaving. Having her hair down helped to keep the cold off her neck a little. As she started running the bitter cold night air, began to turn her cheeks and nose red. The freezing air burning her lungs, but right now none of that mattered. After all Luka was waiting for her. He had invited her to go out on Christmas eve, and she didn’t hesitate for a second when asked. She wanted to give things a chance with him. She genuinely liked him after all. Luka soon came into sight. Wearing a beanie, a big scarf that couldn’t even hide his red cheeks and a fairly long dark blue coat. He was blowing in his hands, trying to warm them up. He also had a backpack on his shoulder.

Marinette called out to him and smiled. He lifted his head and she couldn't believe his face had now turned even redder than it was seconds before. The night was already dark and so many lights hung up everywhere around them. He smiled and had the softest look you could give to another person. But a frown quickly crossed his face. A smile followed by a little sigh when he looked at her. “What is it?” She asked, worried there was maybe something in her teeth, or something else.

He took off his scarf and put it around her neck. “You truly are a funny girl Marinette. It’s freezing cold outside and you didn't even cover yourself up properly.”

“I was running late.” He simply smiled at her. Oh that wonderful smile, that damn smile that she never understood. ‘How can someone hold so much tenderness in their face.’ Marinette thought. His expressions towards her never lacked any warmth. She always felt that she really mattered to him. But overcoming Adrien was one of the hardest challenges she ever had to face. And Luka knew it all so very well.

“Shall we go?” He asked softly, holding out his arm to her. Marinette nodded and wrapped her arm around his. She had no idea where they were going. But she would know soon enough. Luka had so many things on his mind. ‘Maybe get a bite to eat and go ice skating? Or maybe she would prefer eating after skating?’ Perhaps she would like to walk around the Christmas market?’ He needed to stop thinking, it was almost 7:30 and they had a reservation to get too. It’s almost incredible he could have a table on Christmas eve. But he worked his ass off to earn the money to invite her. So there would be no turning back now.

As they walked he watched her from the corner of his eye. Her pale long pink coat was giving her the sweetest look, and it really complimented her skin tone too. As well as showing her thin waist so well. Her legs covered by black wool tights along with heeled boots. ‘How did she even manage to run in those boots?’ He thought. He smiled at the cute way his scarf was around her neck, well somewhat around her neck that is. It was a bit too thick to stay only around her neck, and was hiding half her face actually. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how she looked so perfect either way.

Marinette looked at him confused by his chuckle. “What is it?” She asked, the sound of her voice muffled by the scarf.

Shaking his head slightly Luka brushed the question off. It was nothing, please don't mind me.”

And so after a few minutes of walking, and small talk. Marinette decided to ask Luka the reason he laughed earlier, but he stayed quiet and as if saved by the bell arrived at the restaurant he booked. She didn’t look up at the sign though, too annoyed with Luka’s silence on the reason why he laughed.

Once they enter the restaurant a waiter welcomed them and asked if he could take their coats. Luka helped Marinette with coat first, then turned around to give it to the waiter along with his beanie, backpack and coat. It was at this time Marinette was taking off the scarf. When he turned around and he could swear his heart stopped beating at the beautiful sight before him. She was holding out his scarf to him, her cheeks and nose were still red from the crisp night air. And the way her eyes were reflecting the restaurant’s lights. Had him feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. It was at this he finally got to see what she was wearing. His eyes carefully took in the sight before him as he looked down at her outfit.

She was wearing a strapless green dress, and a dark belt around her waist. ‘How on earth could she go out in this freezing weather dressed so lightly? ‘But oh my god was she ever stunning.’ He thought, smiling proudly at her beauty. The little silver snowflake pendant hung perfectly right above her cleavage. Luka gulped slightly and grabbed the scarf to give it to the waiter. He needed to get his eyes away from her cleavage. He was a perfect gentleman after all, but he was still a man after all. 

Luka never really noticed until tonight, how maturity really had its way with Marinette’s body. Her subtle, yet noticeable curves could make any man ecstatic. And Luka was feeling lucky, not only by being able to see Marinette in such a dress. And the way her hair was falling down her clavicles, only to make another trail for his eyes to follow downward. No! He couldn’t let that happen. As desirable as she was, he couldn’t bring himself to be like that. He was already feeling like he was being pushy enough too, just by inviting her that night.

She hadn’t talked about Adrien for a long time, but that didn’t mean she forgot about him right? She was giving him a chance, but he needed to figure out her true feelings. And that was the most complicated part. He could feel the emotions in her, and stroke some strings to make a melody out of it. But feelings and emotions are two separate things after all.

So after he took a deep breath, they began to follow the waiter. He helped Marinette sit down before walking around the table and taking his place. It was at this time he felt he needed to tell her how gorgeous she looked. “I must say you look stunning Marinette.” He said softly, smiling as he pulled back the chair to sit.

A small blush came to her already rosy cheeks. “Oh well, thank you. You’re quite a catch yourself, Luka.” Marinette said, with a smirk, as her eyes admired him. His blue waistcoat and white shirt were kinda simple. Along with his pants that were a bit skinny, which made his legs look slim and his butt a perfect peach.

Marinette had a glance at it when he went to his chair. She was pleased with what she saw. She could never deny how handsome he was. However, the comment she just gave him flustered him. She never said anything like that to him before. He chuckled nervously before finally  sitting down.

The waiter brought a bottle of sparkling wine in an ice bucket. She couldn’t hide her surprise to the kind of date he was offering her. It was so different from what she expected. But in the end, she knew how sweet of a guy he was. The dinner was so good, and the atmosphere was so light, although she felt something.. Something she couldn’t identify, like something wasn’t natural. Luka, was doing his part, and was doing his best, while feeling more nervous than ever. This night had to go just right. She was finally on a date with him, he had to do everything he could to make her feel comfortable.

“How about a dessert'?” Asked the garçon. Luka looked cautiously at Marinette. Who was smiling at him, while leaning forward resting her chin on her hands and looking at him.

“It’s up to you Luka. I’m not hungry, but not full either. I could easily eat something else.” Luka gulped and smiled.

His mind was racing as he thought. ‘Did she not notice how her body was moving with those simple gestures.” He turned to the waiter. “Just  two teas please.”

The garçon slightly bowed. “I’ll be back with the box so you can make your choice.”

When Luka looked back at her, Marinette was tilting her head a bit, smiling, offering a view of her neck. ‘Dammit Marinette, why are you so cute?’ He cursed to himself. Everything was appealing with her, even the texture of her skin was calling out to him. “I have something for you Marinette.”

Hearing him say this made her face light up, Marinette smiled as she lifted her head. “Really?”

Luka smiled and got up to ask the waiter to bring him his backpack. When the waiter returned, Luka stood and thanked him. Now with his backpack in hand he opened it and took out a present. It looked like it was something light and soft, like some fabric. Probably fabric she told herself. He sat back down and handed it over to Marinette. “Merry Christmas Marinette.” He whispered hoarsely. She pursed her lips as she took it. She shredded the wrapping paper around it, excited to see what was inside. Which made Luka’s heart skip a beat. He laughed a bit and looked at her. Realizing her behaviour, she turned a bit red. “Sorry...that wasn’t very ladylike of me.” Luka simply gave her a sweet smile as his answer. Marinette smiled, a bit embarrassed and cleared her throat to unwrap the last pieces around the present.

Laying before her, was a dark pink fabric. Her fingers ran across the hem to softly take it to detail it. The fabric was an excellent quality. Very soft. And yet warm. She unfolded the shawl to take a look at it. A smile grew on her face. “It's beautiful…” Her words echoed in Luka’s ears.

He soon got up and went to her, then carefully held out his hand to her. “If I may…?” She placed her hand in his and smiled as she got up. He took the piece of clothing and wrapped it around her shoulders, his arms now around her. She moved her hair up out of the way. When she looked up their eyes locked for a few seconds… that felt like minutes. She was smiling so gently at him.

But why was he feeling so out of place. He took a step back with a smile as he saw the waiter bringing the box with the tea and their cups of hot water.

Marinette was flustered. She never thought Luka would be the one to pull away from this kind of situation. Maybe he was uncomfortable with her in the end? Or was he regretting something? They both sat down and drank their tea, awkwardly chit-chatting. She could tell Luka was trying hard to make her have a good time though.

After paying the bill, they both went out to go to the ice rink. When they arrived, all the lights were out. “Luka.. it looks like it's closed..” Marinette said, looking up at the sign, disappointed. A little sharp noise however caught her attention. She looked at the door and she could see a faint shadow opening the door. The skating trainer was the one opening to them. He opened the door quickly and greeted both of them. Marinette looked at both the men, surprised.

Philippe than handed the keys to Luka. “Do not forget to close everything before you leave, okay?”

“Don’t worry, Phil I won’t!” Luka said, taking the keys from Philippe.

Marinette, was speechless, while still staring at them. “H-how? What is..?”

Philippe smiled at Marinette’s reaction. “Well, I’ll let you two have fun! Luka, you know where to leave the keys when you leave.” He said, as his left waving at the two friends.

The young girl turned around to look at Luka, who was taking some skating shoes. “38, right?”

“Um.. Yeah.., but I didn’t know you were friends with Philippe?”

“Oh, yeah. The last time we came, when you left. I went back inside to talk to him a bit, we just kind of got along. And when I came by to check on him a few times. I asked him if it was okay if I used the place tonight.”

“So, it’ll be only us?”  Luka nodded, smiling as he walked with Marinette to the door of the rink.

“And it’s not all…” He opened the doors and walked inside. The room was in the dark and she narrowed her eyes to try to see something. Luka went behind a door, she heard something like a switch being turned on. It was than her eyes grew wide instantly. The site of lights and not just any lights, they were beautiful Christmas lights hanging all around the room. Thousands of little colorful shiny bulbs, making the room look like a dream. And with special music floating in the air… Melodies of an acoustic guitars. And once again.. she was speechless. Her voice seemed to have left her body, like when Luka had been akumatized, but this time.. it was a really good kind of out of voice.

She turned around to look at Luka, who just walked up to her again. “So, do you like it?”

“Do I like it? Luka, it’s gorgeous.. it must have taken you hours to put up all of these lights.”

Luka chuckled as they were both looking around. “Four hours and I almost broke my wrist from falling off a ladder.” Luka gave her the sweetest look. “But it was worth it just to see that look on your face…”

Marinette smiled back at him. They both put on their skates and slowly went in the rink, making a few rounds to warm up. Luka was charming. Trying so hard to make this a good time for her.  Marinette marked a stop in the middle of the rink and looked at Luka. “Luka…?”

He stopped not too far from her and faced her. “Yes..? Is everything alright?”

Marinette took a deep breath, looking at Luka. She slid closer and leaned her hand on his cheek. Luka’s eyes grew a bit wider and even blushed a bit. She smiled at him. She finally pinpointed what felt awkward. He was trying too hard. Maybe he was doubting about her desire to be with him on Christmas. Maybe he was afraid she was still longing for Adrien. Maybe he didn’t want to pressure her. But he pressured himself instead. “I wanted to be here tonight. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and only you.”

Something in Luka relaxed, his shoulders dropped down. He pursed his lips slightly but before he could say anything, her arms were already wrapped around his body. She was holding onto him so tightly, he hugged her back, leaning his chin on her head. His half closed eyes were wandering off to a distant part of the room, enjoying the warmth of her body against his. Her curves, the feeling of her hands on his back, her head on his chest. Luka was well aware of all those details. Of her breathing, the littlest moves she was doing, her fingers slowly tracing circles on his back. After a few minutes she leaned back, smiling. “And I truly feel like an enchanted princess with all these night you gave me Luka.”

He was lacking the words to answer, so he just placed a few strands of her hair behind her ear. This simple move, that could feel like something normal, was forming some kind of intimacy between the two of them. Her eyes drifted along his face, her cheeks warming up a bit. His hand slowly wandered from behind her ear, across her jawline, his thumb stopping on her chin. He cleared his throat, yet a hoarse voice came out softly from his lips. “May I?”

Marinette smiled and stretched her neck to answer. They met halfway from one another. His lips pressed against hers. Her right hand was now cupping his cheek while his left one was leaning against her hip. Her own hands were still wrapped around him, pulling him as close as she could. This kiss was softer than anything else in the world. And lasted a few minutes. Both taking their time to enjoy the moment. When they pulled away, they looked at each other. Her eyes were shimmering as she looked up at him. Something in her eyes changed, and it took Luka everything he had to pull away. He was still feeling her body moving slightly against his and the new proximity they had was awakening something in him. Or on him. In a cough, he pulled away slightly, his hands running down her arms to intertwine their fingers, pulling her in for a dance on the rink. She was giggling, and clearly having a good time. And it meant everything to him.

Suddenly, a voice rang through the speakers. Jagged Stone’s voice. “I hope you enjoyed the surprise Marinette. It’s midnight and I wish you a Merry Christmas.”

Marinette looked around. It was a recording. She laughed a bit and looked at Luka. “You got to record Jagged Stone for me?” She said, smiling.

“As soon as I mentioned your name, he was in.” They both smiled and Luka kissed her cheek. “Merry Christmas Marinette.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around his neck. She whispered softly before kissing him again.

 “Merry Christmas Luka.”