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positivexcellence · 6 months

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Interview: Jared Padalecki on Walker Season 4, The Show’s Future & More

KSITETV’S CRAIG BYRNE: What can you tease about The Jackal, particularly in relation to his history with certain characters?

JARED PADALECKI: The Jackal is a serial killer who haunted then-Ranger James and Ranger Walker five years prior when they were partners, and before Ranger James became Captain James. The Jackal, and his choice of kills and the victims he left behind, really tortured and tormented James and he took it personally. We were never able to solve it, and the Jackal;s case went cold, and we have kind of assumed he had died or stopped or something. And then, as we found out during James’s wedding of all times, someone with a similar M.O. to the Jackal surfaced, and because of how dark it sent James five years prior, Trey and Walker decide to look into it low-key with Detective Luna from Corpus Christi, who Walker and James had worked with back in the day.

We find out in Season 4 that sure enough, the Jackal is back, And so, Walker finds himself stuck in a position. We’ve learned in the first three seasons that keeping secrets among Rangers is not a great idea, but Walker thinks he’s doing what’s best for James. He doesn’t want to him spiraling. James just went on his honeymoon, and he’s married, and he’s going well. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe this is a coincidence. But we soon seem to settle that it is the original Jackal, and the Jackal is back. Walker takes it on himself to save James from that same torment that he went through five years ago., but the question is how much can Walker take on on James’ behalf, without falling prey to the same feelings himself?

Twitter made me ask you this: Is there any chance that The Jacckal might be played by an actor that you’ve referred to as “Jackles” before?

[LAUGHS] No. All But that’s a great question!

The readers of KSiteTV loved Walker Independence, and it’s great that hopefully we’ll be seeing more of Justin Johnson Cortez as Detective Luna. Is there any chance we might see more people from the show in new roles in the present day, or maybe another Hoyt flashback?

JARED: Let’s say yes. We will be seeing some of our our Windy family. We loved the show as well.

And is there any chance we’ll see those classic characters again?

The answer, again, is yes.

Jensen [Ackles] and I used to have something funny during Supernatural. We did several seasons with 23 episodes, and we likened it to sports analogies. We’d be like “you know, if you’re going to shoot 23 three pointers during a game, you’re not going to make ’em all. If you’re gonna drive the lane 23 times, or go to bat 23 times, then you’re gonna put some air balls. You’re gonna strike out sometimes. But with 13 episodes, they’re all knockouts. They’re all home runs.

We didn’t waste any time this year [on Walker]. We have 13 episodes to make an amazing season of television. I’m on set right now shooting the finale, and I can say with confidence that this is our strongest season.

Are you feeling good about the possibility of a fifth season?

I am. I don’t know… I mean, even during Supernatural’s last season, something can always happen. There can be a strike. There can be COVID. There can be a merger. There can be something.

My career for the last 25 years has been based around not really knowing what’s going to happen. You know, “is Gilmore Girls gonna go? Am I going to get an option to do it again? Oh, now it’s CW instead of Warner Brothers. Oh, now we have a new showrunner. Oh, now we have another showrunner! Now we’re changing nights. Now there’s COVID. Now there’s a strike.” [Last year’s strike] was the second strike I had been through in my career. So, all I can speak to is the quality of work we’re putting out, and there’s nothing I could change.

I will say that I have no reason to think that we we will not carry on. I intend to do the show for another 10 years, so hopefully the powers that be feel the same way. I know our cast and crew all hope for the same. We’re willing and able. Our writers are incredible, with the stories they come up with and the speed with which they can come up with great storylines and great arcs for each and every character… and our crew that makes it… if I was a network, then I would want this show to go as long as everybody who’s making the show would go.

I couldn’t be more proud of the work that we’re putting out there. I think we kind of stand alone, as far as new scripted hour-longs out there. We’re a great combination of heart and action, and trying to mimic reality as best as possible, which I think is needed and necessary. I’ve certainly heard from fans on the street and via social media and whatnot, how much they appreciate it and enjoy it. I’m very optimistic.

How are things with Cordell and Geri as we get into Season 4?

They’ve had five months together since Larry and Kelly’s wedding, snd things have been going well. Things have kind of cooled off; the Jackal’s trail went cold, and so maybe it was not a big deal. They’ve kind of been enjoying the summer with August and Stella and Bonham and Abeline, and they’ve had some time together.

There’s been work for Cordell and for Geri, obviously, but they’re on the same page. They’re living together, and they’re enjoying each other’s company, and they found a place.

Obviously, they both went through some hardships in their prior relationships. Luckily, I think with a lot of great relationships, when they become romantic, they start as friendships. Because Geri and Cordell started as a platonic relationship for many years, they’ve seen each other as friends, and they kind of know who each other’s hearts are. I think they’re enjoying that time and chance to breathe together, and just be with each other.

Is it hard for Cordell that Stella and August are both growing up, with Stella already off to school and August approaching senior year?

It’s very, very hard, and I think you’re more prescient than maybe you even realize; we kind get into that in Episode 2, and as the season goes on, of what it’s like to be to be preparing to be an empty nester, especially without your spouse. So we certainly do see that, and again, going back to what I said earlier about Walker’s storylines imitating life as best as we can, we certainly do see Walker going through that very real [situation].

At work, he is this big Texas Ranger who gets to go in and save the day and all as well, and then at home, he wants to be a Dad, but the clock is ticking. One of his kids is already gone, and the second is a senior in high school, and presumably soon to be spreading his wings. So what does that look like and feel like for this big tough dude?

Will we get to see Walker’s reaction to the situation that Stella got into at the end of last season?

Oh, yeah. And that storyline doesn’t stop, because it’s not all over. Obviously, months have passed and there have been investigations and there is conclusion of sorts, but as with most things in life, it brings about a whole new set of problems that we will deal with through the entire season.

Why should people check out the season premiere on Wednesday night?

I think a lot of us, myself included, have been dying to see what the whole Walker clan is up to. Not with the Walker clan with with the last name Walker. And we get a great catch up with a friend we haven’t talked to in a while. We have action. We have comedy, we have drama… but also, it feels like a dear friend that I haven’t caught up with in way too long, and I get all the ins and outs of what’s been going on their lives over the last period of time

ksite

#jared padalecki #walker

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wild-dagon · 1 year

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Sometime I think about totk taking place after the Linked Universe adventure finishes.

Wild is 17 in LU. I don’t know if it’s official cannon but most works I’ve read have Wild join the chain around two weeks after his official quest ends.

So with that in mind Wild is with the chain at 17.

Totk takes place about 6 years after Botw. Making Wild and Flora around 23.

So let’s say Wild went on his adventure with the chain. Who knows how long it takes 1 year? Three years? Who knows but they all have to part ways when it’s over. Maybe the mailman can run in between timelines still but they can’t.

Wild’s back in his era helping Flora rebuild. It’s going well and he’s as happy as he can be with out his family.

But then TOTK happens. The story goes as it does and it ends with Flora returned to her Hylian form.

Flora who has traveled to the distance past once. Flora who had 10,000 years + as a dragon to have her powers grow. Flora with a sacred stone of time.

Maybe Flora has she watched over all the prior eras and saw some of the Chain and their adventures. Maybe she saw Lullaby and Time’s adventures with the Ocarina. Or maybe once she’s back she works really hard to master her time powers.

Either way she decides to surprise her knight with a trip. A trip through time.

Flora was always a little jealous that Wild got to meet and learn from other hero’s it’s her turn to meet other Zelda’s. She rationalizes the trip to Impa as an opportunity to learn how best to help her kingdom from the Zelda’s who came before. And if Wild gets to reunite with his family well that’s a bonus. (In reality this is the only reason they are going)

What have the others been up to during their time apart?

Have Sky and Sun gotten married?

Do Time and Malon have kids yet?

Has Twilight found the pieces of the mirror or has he moved on with his life?

What is a grown up Wind like? Has he established New Hyrule yet with Tetra?

Does Four still travel or has he settled down and running his own blacksmith shop? What of Shadow?

Has Hyrule found peace or is he still being hunted?

Has Legend finally moved on from Marin (maybe with a certain merchant?) is he still adventuring or has he been able to let go and relax?

What is Warriors life like with no war? How will Cia handle multiple Links and Zeldas traveling through time?

It’s so fun to think about. You can make it super slice of life where Flora is hang out with the other Zelda’s while the Links reunite. Or you can add a driving problem and plot.

You can make it so only Wild and Flora can move through time. But where’s the fun in that. Obviously not all the Zelda’s can travel but you can bet Sun and Tetra are all over this adventure.

I personally think Flora and Wild’s first stop is the period of Twilight to pick up their wolf.

What do you guys think.

#linked universe #lu twilight #lu four #lu hyrule #lu legend #lu sky #lu time #lu warriors #lu wild #lu wind #lu flora #lu lullaby #lu tetra #lu sun #post totk #Flora and Wild’s time adventure

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jayholdenworld · 15 days

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The poll ended. And we have “Accidental Marriage (Las Vegas ‘23 version)” as the winner!

While I write it. Here you have the second part of the short writing ideas that didn’t make it into the top 10 ideas.

Second Poll’s Last 4 Ideas

1. Sad One Night Stand

His eyes finally move away from the screen when he heard screams from his best friend and former teammate at McLaren. Lando was walking back from the medical area with a look that could kill as he approached Zak, Andrea and the rest of the team with anger. His clear eyes indicated the rage in his being.

-You knew it! You knew that the car had a malfunction and yet they let him drive like nothing happened! Oscar could die because you cared more about a fucking trophy than people's lives!

That statement was enough to break the heart of the Spaniard man. Although the Australian was not a saint of his devotion, he had been one of the few people who had written to him wishing he would find a team that would appreciate his ability when Ferrari announced the switch with Hamilton. Because he knew what it was to give your blood, sweat and tears to a team while said team was not interested in you at all.

Oscar had been one of the few people who had sent him a detail when he was still recovering from his operation. And he had gone to his hotel room with unhealthy food, but allowed on his diet, to celebrate his victory in Australia.

Both had learned to have a different relationship to any other in the Paddock, because the youngest was able to leave the problems of the track on it. Like the one in Miami, where he had forced Carlos to do the same after their talk at Monaco’s podium. From there, they had learned to get along, or at least better than before, their words in Hungary last year reflected that.

But here he was now. Listening to Sargeant's drowning cries and Lando's claims. Everything was the same as with Jules. They were about to lose a driver again because of the decision of someone else who was playing their lives with their hands on the wheel.

That was his third signal for disaster.

How terrible that he realized so late what that meant. How awful it was to hear that the team who was supposed to protect the pilot had left him to his fate with a car they knew would fail, all for a worthless trophy.

But above all, how tragic for the new Mercedes driver to realize his feelings for the young McLaren pilot just after receiving the news of his death.

Life never really favored Carlos Sainz Jr.

2. Fluff Wedding

-You want to Marry Carlos?

-Yes. I know our relationship is still young. But I want to be with him for the rest of our lives.

Oscar kept his eyes moving from Reyes to Senior. He was nervous, terrified even, but he knew what he wanted and that was to marry Carlos, his Carlos. So, he was going to give everything for his parents’ approval.

Reyes smiled happily after hearing him confess his love for her son, but Senior was still looking at him. Like he wanted to find something to deny the request he was hearing.

But the Australian knew he won’t find anything outside love. Because that was all he has for Carlos. Pure love.

-What are your plans to marry our son?

Oscar smiled. That might be the easiest part of all the reunion, because he knew perfectly well what he wants.

He wants a forever with Carlos Sainz Jr.

3. Driver Carlos x Fem! Singer Oscar

Carlos kept his eyes on the girl in the Williams’ garage. He had listened to Charles and Lando fanboying over meeting her again. They were into her concert recently and they couldn’t stop talking about it.

He knew, he was there. Specially when someone insulted her music and she just acted like she didn’t hear a thing while they were in the meet and greet. Logan was ready to jump against anyone, but she looked like she didn’t care at all.

-They will hate me no matter what.

Carlos wishes he had said something different in that moment, but he was an idiot and had to open his mouth to make the pretty girl mad.

-They kind of have a point.

The Spaniard managed to get the girl to look at him. With hidden fury, of course, but at least her eyes were on him.

4. Multiple Past Lives

He will survive. He has done it until now. Oscar has been working hard to keep him alive. The Australian even promise his father that this time was going to be different. That he was going to save his life.

They are no longer Leonardo and Alessandro, with one of them having a car accident. They are no longer Nikolay and Konstantin, with one of them as a Russian soldier about to die. They are no longer Bastian and Étienne, with one of them as kids about to die at the hands of a Serial Killer. They are no longer meeting for a second and watching one of them die in the next one.

Oscar has met Carlos through all of his past lives, even if they don’t cross paths, Oscar always knows Carlos is there somewhere, even if he doesn’t see him, he can feel it.

Oscar and Carlos were not lovers, were not even friends. They only met each other once per lifetime, and then, Oscar had to wait a couple of seconds before Carlos died in a specific way while Oscar is there, not able to do anything.

Some people would call them soulmates but Oscar doesn’t think that term sticks right with them, he thinks that they’re just two guys who happen to bump into each other’s lives forever, but that doesn’t mean they’re soulmates.

Because what kind of God would make Oscar know and met his soulmate before they die in front of him with him unable to do anything?

#carcar #carloscar #oscarlos #5581 #oscar piastri #carlos sainz #formula 1 rpf #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #ignore my terrible english

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strangedreamings · 4 months

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S3E4 (spoilers abound)

Portia, Prudence, and Philippa listening at the open door while Debling calls on Pen. The three of them are anything but subtle.

Aww, he gave her a potted plant so she can have nature indoors with her. I hope somebody in this house has a green thumb. He is sweet but he'd better be honest with whoever he ends up marrying about his actual reason for finding a wife.

Has Pen truly given up on Colin? It's sad if that's true.

"I will surely eat all of the biscuits" You mean we FINALLY have an appearance by Colin's bottomless pit of a stomach? It only took what, TWO AND A HALF SEASONS?!

Violet knows when something is up but she also knows a dismissal when she hears one.

Benedict and Lady Tilley. Yeah, she's this season's Siena, though I will say I like her a lot more than I liked Siena (which isn't hard). She won't last but at least they'll be fun to watch while she's around.

Agatha and Marcus. Their dynamic is interesting -- "Do whatever, I'm too busy to get involved." I doubt he'll last beyond S3, but you never know.

"to become the new Marquess Samadani" OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHONDA, YOU DID NOT!!! The wife of a marquess (or a female marquess in her own right) is not called a marquess, but a MARCHIONESS! I know marquess isn't a common title in the British peerage but Shonda, you have access to Wikipedia, FUCKING USE IT!!!

"You read me too well." God, I love Charlotte and Brimsley.

Violet, El, Fran, and the kids are expecting Lord Samadani but Maybe-John has dropped in instead. We'd better learn his name soon, this is driving me nuts.

"John Stirling, Earl of Kilmartin." FUCKING FINALLY!!!! I don't care that his accent is wrong, I love this guy already! Is your cousin Michael in town too, John? Or is he earning his title of the Merry Rake elsewhere?

John and Fran are simply enjoying the silence and the rest of the family is completely baffled, I love it. And here comes Samadani, lovely. John, your timing is awful.

Samadani seems like a nice enough guy, he's just wrong for Francesca.

Love the library, hate Portia's internalized misogyny. I really feel for Cressida now. Can Debling marry her once Colin finally gets his head out of his ass and marries Pen?

I take "revelry" to mean Colin's friends are going whoring and want him to come with, lovely.

Debling is finally being honest? Well, not directly, but still, I'll take it for now. Oh, he's being subtle but he is being direct, got it. Poor Pen, she's torn between the life she wants and a good life that's being offered to her.

Colin with his two ladies again but this time, he's not into it. If you've already paid, Colin, you could've just bid them goodnight and left, you didn't have to stay.

Francesca running into John on the street. These two are a little too quiet for their own good, but I'm sure they'll be fine, maybe with a little help from Violet.

The Cowpers' sitting room has to be the most depressing room on the planet. Lord Cowper's forbidding Cressida from being friends with Eloise? Is it because of Colin? Or Pen? Or maybe he thinks she's putting too much effort into the friendship and not enough into finding a husband. Cressida, I'm guessing you're the same age as Daphne, so I believe that makes you 23 now. You're a legal adult and have been for two years. It would be highly irregular but you could move out of your parents' house. I'm sure the Bridgertons would take you in if Eloise explained everything.

Uh oh, the Mondriches' pub needs saving (again). We'll have another last-minute save by a Bridgerton by the time S3 is over, I'm sure. Frankly, most of the ton can fuck themselves, and that includes Colin's "friends," especially Fife. Pig.

Colin wanting more out of sex is a great sign of both his maturity and him falling in love.

So Debling's serious about proposing to Pen. Poor Pen and poor Cressida.

BTW, I love how the subtitles keep calling the music this season "pensive," it feels like an unintended pun.

For a woman who can't come up with a decent metaphor to save her life, Violet is very wise when it comes to her kids. Oh, she is playing Colin like a fiddle! Go, Violet!

I really like her and Marcus together, he seems like a great guy, though apparently somewhat estranged from Agatha.

Cressida came to Eloise. El really brings out the best in her, something her parents really try to keep hidden. I swear to God, Shonda, if you don't give Cressida a happy ending, I will.

Be careful, Fran, especially with the Queen watching.

Colin has finally outgrown his "friends," halleluiah!

Well, at least Debling bowed out gracefully. And Cressida still has a chance, as slim as it is.

Oh, is this THE carriage scene? Not quite how the book one went but hey, if we get the same outcome, I'm all for it.

Aww, Colin looks like he's about to cry.

"Are you going to marry me or not?" Colin, I could kiss you but I'll leave that to Pen. WE GOT OUR BOOK PROPOSAL!!!

And we don't even get an answer before the episode ends.

Nice cliffhanger, Shonda.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton s3 spoilers #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #francesca bridgerton #cressida cowper

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f10werfae · 2 years

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1- Questioned and Loved

pairing: Construction!Chris Evans x GF!Reader

Summary: After Y/n and Chris' first “date” There seems to be a lot of sneaking around which doesn’t go unnoticed by some…

Warning: Smut, flavoured condoms, multiple positions, kissing, dirty talk, slight humiliation, oral (male receiving), Thigh riding

- Requests are open for oneshots!

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Build up Masterlist

Chris Evans Masterlist

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︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Come on baby, let me come over” Chris whined down the phone, despite it already being 1AM, this man’s energy was not one to be messed with. Y/n couldn’t help but smile down the phone at the idea of her new older boyfriend dying to spend time with her.

It had only been a few weeks since he first fixed her ma's windows and took her for a drive down to the coast where he stole a kiss. Yet the two were smitten already, nightly phone calls, stealing kisses whenever he was over to fix any new “broken” things. Tonight was no different, Chris would spend hours teasing his new lover talking about the things he’d love to do with her, their future and how much he just wanted to hold her.

“I dunno Chris, my parents are asleep” Y/n whispered down the phone, luckily her parents' bedroom was further down the hallway but she didn’t want to take any chances with that. She could practically feel the buffer man pout down the phone, something he did when he didn’t get his way.

“Pleasee, I promise i’ll be quiet, jus wanna hug n' kiss ya” The sound of his voice was something she was going to have to learn to say no to, but today was not that day nor would it be tomorrow or the next. Sighing down into the phone, Chris knew he had finally gotten his way, they were each other’s weak point.

“Ugh fine alright, but stand outside my window alright? I’ll help you up somehow” Y/n said turning onto her side to try and look around for anything long enough to throw down, pursing her lips in the process.

“Don' worry sugar, I can take care of myself. I’ll see ya in your room in 25. Love ya” He smiled, putting down the phone and rushing to get on his sweatpants and old college hoodie. Within minutes he was in his pickup truck and on the way to his girl’s house, another midnight adventure for them both.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Y/n's P.O.V)

“Chris what the hell?!” I whisper shouted seeing my hunk of a man using nothing but bare strength to climb up to my window, sure there were a few slips and tumbles at first, but God is he strong.

Helping him in by his arm, his strong cologne filled my nostrils instantly calming me down. “Aww baby I missed ya too” He cooed finally standing up straight, his hood falling off his head to show off his growing brown locks. Even though I was now close to 23, it still felt exhilarating to sneak a boyfriend in, almost like it was high-school all over again.

“So this is your room then eh?” He breathed out looking about my room, my cheeks starting to heat up when I caught him staring at the array of puppy posters decorating my pink walls.

“Well it’s not updated from high school but yea”

“Whose this then?” He asked leaning in to see my old photos with my friends back then, specifically a photo of me and my friend Andrew back at graduation.

“That’s Andrew, why? You jealous?” I teased watching him turn around slowly, his lips pursed tightly making me laugh at his reaction.

“What? Course not. You’re mine now aren’t ya?” He quirked toeing off his socks and shoes, flopping himself down onto my bed, a massive creak sounding out.

“You idiot my parents could wake up” I whispered hitting his shoulder, his face contorting in fake pain, I couldn’t even stop a smile from finding its way onto my face. Quietly he army crawled his way up my bed so now we were both against the headboard, our hands intertwined tightly between us. The soft atmosphere leading my head to his chest as we slowly slid down to lay more on our backs.

“I can’t believe at the ripe age of 30 i’m still sneaking into my girlfriend’s house” He chuckled stroking my hair with his hand, his fingers running through any knots and tats gently.

“Yeah well I can’t believe i’m dating a senior citiz-“

“Oi, stop it”

“Fine fine” I sighed listening to his rapid heartbeat hammering in his chest, it kind of felt like mine at that moment, uncontrollable. “Give me a kiss baby” He whispered pulling my head up, his pink lips pressing themselves to the corner of my lips before I turned his head to kiss him fully. My heart was practically pounding at the feeling of his hands in my hair, his lips on mine and just the pure feeling of love and passion.

“Ya realise you’ll have to leave before my parents wake up right?” I said pulling away to look at his face, pulled into an expression of bliss.

“Mhm I know sweetheart, wouldn’t wanna get ya in trouble” He whispered going back in to press another kiss to my already swollen lips, his tongue tying in with mine desperately

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Chris' P.O.V)

Slowly slipping out from underneath Y/n, my face pulled into a grin when I saw her immediately cuddle onto one of the pillows on her bed, the one I specifically was laying on. Quietly putting on my shoes, I opened up her bedroom window and climbed down onto their driveway.

Mentally fist bumping when I realised I had done so successfully without waking up her parents, looking up at her window I blew a kiss and off I went back to my pickup truck.

My body still feeling her touch on mine, my lips still tingling from the abundance of kisses we shared one after the other until we ran out of breath.

My wrist still had her hair tie that I had taken off to play with her silky hair, the smell of her shampoo still lingering on my senses.

Pulling up into my driveway I suddenly felt a sense of emptiness, something I never felt after meeting with a woman, never mind one i’ve known for barely 3 months. Yet here we were, moving as fast as the seasons change here in Texas, perfect just for us.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Chris found himself waiting outside of Y/n's current job, a cute well known restaurant in their home town, she had just gotten the call that she was being appointed as assistant chef. For her? That was amazing especially at such short notice. It had become routine for him to pick her up from work after her day shifts, refusing to let her walk home in the dark, hell he wouldn’t even let her walk to her door alone either.

Y/n smiled cheerfully walking out of the restaurant, her cute white button up and black work trousers only made her that more beautiful, Chris thought it made her that bit more irresistible. Whistling, he winked as she approached his pickup truck, standing by her door getting ready to open it for her.

“Hey baby, thank you for pickin’ me up again” She beamed up at him, swaying her body side to side bashfully. Chris tapped his cheek twice, not wasting any time Y/n instantly pecked his cheek not once, not twice but three times.

Sliding into her seat Chris jogged over to his side of the cab, his smile not faltering once, he even had to bite his lip just to not widen it anymore.

“How was work today sugar?” He asked holding her hand as he worked the gear shift, his head turning while he backed out of the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Hmm it was busy but it was okay, my coworkers were really nice to me today so that was good”

“That’s good to hear baby” Chris nodded driving on down the road,

“How about your day bubby?” Y/n asked tilting her head to the side,

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Y/n felt her breath hitch when Chris stopped in front of her house, there he was standing in front of the door, her dad.

“It’ll be alright pumpkin” Chris whispered as they sat wide eyed, Y/n's father approached them both and boy did he not look happy.

“Y/n. Inside. now.” He said opening the door roughly making her flinch,

“But pa i’m-“

“Now Y/n L/n, please I won’t ask again”

Chris knew better than to argue with him, if he ever wanted things to work out with Y/n he knew he had to work on this. Hell ever since he found out about their meet-ups a week ago after one slip up during one of their multiple sneak ins, Chris was not in this man’s good books. I don’t even think he was in the books period.

Chris sighed watching his girl rush into the door, not forgetting to give him a cute little wave before she was pulled in by her mother who was smiling mischievously. Chris smiled but that was immediately interrupted by the scare of a dad in front of him, Mr. L/n’s arms were crossed over his chest, sunglasses covering his eyes with a trucker’s hat on his head. A true southern man who treated his daughter like she was golden.

“Nice to see you Mr. L/n” Chris said confidently, holding out his hand for a shake which soon turned awkward when he realised the man wouldn’t even touch him.

“What’s your intentions with my daughter Evans?”

“Sir you’ve asked me this everyday this week” Chris sighed pleading with him, the older man not wavering once

“I know, cause I don’t believe ya one bit. What sorta established businessman goes after a woman finding her ways in the world?”

“One that loves and cares for her, sir”

“Just get outta here boy”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“I’m so sorry Chris, I don’t know why he’s so rude” Y/n whined down the phone, her lip jutted out into a pout as she listened to hear her boyfriend’s voice.

“ ‘is alright sugar, I know he jus wants to protect his daughter” Chris replied, despite everything that happened that day he couldn’t help but smile at the sound of her voice. It always sounded so pleasant and welcoming, something he didn’t always sound like unfortunately.

Scratching between Dodger's ears Chris sat down onto his large L-Shaped couch, his business had definitely started to boom more recently with more people wanting to move to Texas. Wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants he lay down with his arm over his eyes, just listening to Y/n talk about what happened when she got home.

Which consisted of trying out new recipes, telling off her dad some more, catching up with the girls and touching herself.

“Wait back the fuck up, what’d ya jus say?” With a sly smirk gaining on his face he sat up a bit, biting his lip at his girlfriend’s perverted confession. With radio silence on her end he peered further,

“Come on sweetheart, you��ve already said it. Tell your man what you were thinkin' about”

“No! that’s private. And it’s embarrassing” Y/n whined down the phone, her voice wavering as her face flushed. Her legs kicking in the air as she rolled about, Chris' deep chuckling causing her heart to flutter majorly.

“Come on I thought you said no secrets?”

“Mhm well you already know what I was thinkin’ bout, you jus wanna embarrass me”

“How about you come over and show me what you was thinkin' about then?”

“O-oh Okay babe”

“Actually, i’ll pick you up, it’s not safe for a sweet little thing like you to be out there”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Are you sure you’re okay babe?” I whispered tightening my grip around her waist as she leant up against me on the sofa, despite the both of us knowing we wouldn’t fit, we decided to squish together with her on top of me. After catching her she jumped out her window, we drove giddily back to my house, hands touching everywhere and anywhere. Nodding her head I felt her nuzzle into my chest,

“I wish I could cuddle you even closer” I heard her say while turning to look up at me with those sparkling eyes of hers,

“Bub i’m basically your blanket right now, ya wanna wear me as a hoodie or sumthin?”

“I mean if you’re offering..”

“Behave Y/n L/n ” I growled feeling her hands crawl up under my shirt, her newly acquired gel nails scratching up my stomach satisfyingly.

Moving down I felt her insert her whole body into my t-shirt, her head now on my bare chest underneath the soft fabric, her hands nestled onto the sides of my waist.

“You comfy baby?” I asked lifting up my shirt to see her peek up at me, her smile pulled into the cutest thing ever as she nodded and pecked my lips quickly and softly. Enough to make me melt right then and there. Her lips peppered soft kisses over my chest, sucking on hickies, occasionally getting groans out of me.

“Chris”

“Yes?”

“About those strawberry condoms I saw in the kitchen when we came in-“

“Go on then love, they’re sittin in the bottom kitchen drawer”

“OKAY LOVE YOU” She said excitedly shimmying out of my shirt and running towards the kitchen, a smile coming onto my face as I watched her semi naked body hunt down the box of latex with such eagerness. When we first got in I forgot to put away the condoms I had bought earlier that day, completely forgetting that she was going to see them. You see, Y/n had been sending me these tictacs? tiktoks? Of couples trying them out and she’s been buggering me for ages, but hey I was bit complaining.

I watched her pretty self skip back towards me, successful with her hunting mission as she handed the box over to me to open up. Y/n pulled out the first condom, ripping it open, showing the new pink coloured latex.

“C-can we try it?” She asked shyly,

(Y/n's P.O.V)

Chris nodded leaning back comfortably onto the couch, shrugging his sweatpants halfway to his knees, showing off his red hardened cock. The tip of it already glistening with pre-cum as he pumped it a few times to get it even harder.

“Go on then sweetheart, put it on for your man”

I rolled the large condom down onto his cock, with him hissing due to how sensitive he was already. Kneeling down onto the floor I licked it slightly, a sudden burst of flavour exploding on my tongue.

“Ya like that baby?” He asked biting onto his lips, I licked mine nodding eager to taste more of the strawberry goodness now coating his cock. Taking him down my throat, I felt him choke a bit as I just kept sucking on his condom covered dick without mercy.

“You treating my cock like a popsicle baby, all wet and desperate for it, since ya like it so much maybe we can leave a review after it”

Nodding my head I just focused on getting as much flavour as possible, not even noticing how the condom expanded as Chris' cum filled it to the brim, some of it even spilling down to land onto his balls.

“Fahk babe you didn’t even notice, too busy suckin weren’t ya?”

“Mhm sorry Chris” I mumbled delicately pulling off the slippery latex,

“Well let me give you something to notice”

Within seconds Chris had brought me up to straddle him, his cock already threatening to push my thong to the side.

“Actually first, let me see my pretty girl get off on my thigh” He smiled transferring me to straddle his right thigh, his leg hairs already stimulating my already tingling clit.

“Come on baby, move on me” He whispered, his hands settled on my hips as he moved them back and forth slowly.

(Chris' P.O.V)

I felt her nails dig into my shoulders as she grinded onto my leg, her mouth gaping open with moans just spilling out. I watched as she slowly started to drool out the side of her mouth, laughing as it dripped down onto her hardened nipples causing her to moan. My girl is always so sensitive.

“Fuck baby you’re so pretty for me” Pushing her hair back, I cupped her face and made her look at me, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth with her breath turning ragged. Her hips started to go crazy on my thighs, her moans turning to soft whimpers.

Right before she was about to cum I pulled her up and sat her right onto my cock, feeling her sigh in somewhat relief and excitement.

(Y/n's P.O.V)

“Wait wait” I whispered getting off and getting back on, this time with my back facing him. His hands slithered up and cupped my breasts, my feet planted on his knees as I prepared myself to ride the fuck out of him.

Slamming my hips down, his hand squeezed my left breast,

“gosh sugar you’re so fucking dirty, fucking yourself on my cock like this, jus takin what’s yours” He whispered into my ear out of breath, his fingers tugging on my nipples roughly causing them to pebble out.

Turning my head to the side Chris' tongue met mine, our saliva going everywhere as we just swapped spit for a good while as I grinded my hips in slow circles. His paws giving my breasts a soft knead, his tongue leaving mine, his hips starting to smack up into mine unexpectedly

“oOH FucK, FUCK CHRIS BABY” I shouted while he pounded into me, his teeth biting into my neck as he basically used my breasts as handles to help push me up and down.

“Y/n i’m gonna spill my cum right inside this pretty pussy of yours, keep it warm all night for ya”

“You wanna g-give me a load Chris?”

“Give you one? Baby i’m gonna give you as many as you fucking want”

“T-that sounds good” I whispered

“Doesn’t it? Sounds absolutely perfect baby”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(No one's P.O.V)

“Your pa is gonna kill me someday” Chris whispered snuggling further into Y/n's arms, with him laying his head on her bare chest. Her nails raking through his head lovingly, with her constantly giving him kisses onto his forehead.

“mm he’ll get used to you bub, don’t worry” Y/n said cupping his face and kissing his lips lightly.

“But it’s important he likes me Y/n, I truly do want us to go far”

“And we will Chris, just enjoy the now hun. You know my ma loves you and will practically have your back for life” She commented causing them both to laugh a little despite the heavy topic at hand.

“You know if you think we’re movin too fast we can slow down right babe? I don’t wan' ya to feel forced” He said kissing her chest softly, his head nuzzling into it like a puppy would.

“I don’t think anythin of it baby, we’re two consenting adults who are very much falling in love with each other okay?”

Raking her hands up and down his back, his breathing slowed down into a gentle rhythm, both of them acting oblivious to the sound of Y/n's phone blowing up on the bedside table. She’d just have to deal with that tomorrow.

———

Taglist Tags (form is up there^^): @mdpplgtz03 @mysticfalls01 @royalwriteroftheuniverse @chrisevansangel @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @sairsei @patzammit @madebylilly @bxdbxtxh15 @tojisbabymommy @dumb-fawkin-bitch @vrittivsanghavi @chrisevansdaughter @kimhtoo17 @itsaylayay1213 @evanstanwhore @mrspeacem1nusone @thereisa8ella @seren-a-ity @pandaxnienke @taramaria @mirikusashes @marvelgurl @xoxokiaraaxoxo

#romance #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans oneshot

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airenyah · 5 months

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Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

#this was fun!!#tag game

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goncharov-propaganda-factory · 1 year

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Mishapocalypse: what the-

Hey, former redditors! Welcome to the hellsite, we're all glad that you're here (especially you 196 folk you warm my dead, frozen heart). While on the whole you seem to be adapting AMAZINGLY fast to site culture, if any of you are confused over one of our founding myths this may help.

(or if you're a veteran tumblrina and just want to read an essay that's fine too)

(others key parts of our national identity to learn about if you're curious include Goncharov, I Love You, Color of the Sky, My Three Girlfriends, and many more)

also if you don't want to read my entire fucking essay take this and run

but if you want to know the deal with this man, read on!

Mishorigins

Supernatural is a 2000s-ass TV series that ran on the CW from 2005 to 2020. It's about two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who are "hunters" that protect people from various supernatural entities. The show was originally planned to last five seasons, with an angel character named Castiel (this is important) slated to be revealed as God in the finale. Castiel (nicknamed Cass by the CW and Cas by objectively correct people) was introduced in S4.

left: Castiel, the gay angel of our collective dreams. right: Misha Collins.

The Man Behind the Mish

Misha Collins is a straight man who was forced by a cruel and uncaring god to play a heavily queer coded angel on a TV series intended for any demographic BUT gay teens (which is what it became). His performance as Castiel, and the large queer teen fanbase he drew, were a driving force behind a show would ultimately continue for three times longer its original plan.

I don't have anywhere else to put these facts so they go here

he was an intern in the Clinton administration during the Lewinsky scandal

he knows Tibetan throat singing

he was arrested for climbing onto a bank roof (he was trying to... read a book? 👀👀👀)

he probably made Jensen Ackles (the guy who played Dean less homophobic? Maybe?

he held a scavenger hunt called GISHWHES several times for his charity, Random Acts

cool guy

he later played Harvey Dent on Gotham Knights this very year (2023)

there's icebergs of this shit

he farted on an airplane once

Mishion: Impossible

April 1st, 2013 is a date that will live in mishinfamy. Tumblr a main hub of the SuperWhoLock fandom (a mega-fandom amalgamating Supernatural, Sherlock BBC, and Doctor Who), was the only place the Mishapocalypse could happen.

For boring deets I'll redirect you to the KnowYourMeme page but these images should sum it up.

left: a list of Tumblr users, circa 2013. right: a fine example of Misha culture

There are two takeaways here:

You cannot outrun Misha.

You will become him.

On April 1, 2013, a significant portion of Tumblr changed their avatar to the now-iconic Mishapocalypse photo and their handle to "Misha Collins", followed by similar waves of Mish across other social media sites.

above: the modern Prometheus

This beautiful event was emblematic of pre-Dashcon Tumblr, an era as far away from us now as 1200 AD was from 1208 AD. You'll be pleased to know that the Mishapocalypse returns every April 1st to grace these ancient halls, a small group of pilgrims tracing new paths on the well-worn floor of the Church of Misha.

(this isn't to say the Supernatural fandom is dead, it's just somewhat diminished from it's glory days.

Thanks for reading! Reblog if you liked. I'll leave you with a bunch of Mishimages of my own that I posted for Mishapocalypse 23 (the 10th anniversary). Shameless self-promotion!!!

in clockwise order:

The Mona Misha

Mishius

Misha's extra hour in the ball pit

The Mishian (with Mish Damon)

Future ideas include Salvator Misha. Feel free to ask any questions you have, and I hope you enjoy Tumblr.

Happy Mishing!

ps I have not actually watched supernatural you just learn all of this via osmosis

#196 #mishapocalypse #reddit #reddit refugees #Tumblr #explainer post #r196 #long post

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boygiwrites · 1 year

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Harley D. Dixon 23

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

Warning for strong themes of suicide in this chapter because of Beth, and well, everything else.

Herschel left the farm all by himself while we was out.

As the sun sets behind the porch railing, Lori explains to Rick and Glenn that Beth's in shock — the thing I was in this morning. She tries to mutter it under her beath, but I hear just fine that she tried to kill herself by slicing her wrists up. Different to how Momma did it, but I know just about every way there is, and that's one of 'em. If I were Beth, I would'a just jumped out the window. Prolly would'a worked, but maybe she didn't want it to. Lori and Patricia found her just in time to save her. She's laid up in bed now, apparently still staring at the wall.

Rick keeps glancing at me throughout the whole conversation. I don't know why he's doin' it, but I wish he'd cut it out.

Herschel told us today he'd learnt what grit was, but I guess he ain't learned enough to deal with his daughter wantin' to die, 'cause he hopped in his truck and took a trip to town to get away from it all. Maggie begs the two of 'em to go bring him back, and they agree.

"You got any guesses where he might'a gone?" Rick asks, putting his hat back on. Always savin' people. "Parks, stores, houses?"

"Hatlin's." She answers unhappily. "Bar on main street. He practically lived there in his drinking days. If he's gone anywhere, it's there."

I can't imagine Herschel in a bar. My Daddy and Uncle Merle used to rot away in bars when they was angry or sad, but that was them.

Rick must be thinking the same thing. "I didn't take Herschel for a drinker."

"He gave it up the day I was born." She half-smiles. "Didn't even allow liquor in the house... But not anymore, I guess."

"I've seen the place." Glenn assures her, holding her shoulder and turning to Rick. "I can drive us there."

"Okay." Before they turn to leave, he murmurs to Lori, "Does Daryl know 'bout Beth yet?"

She shakes her head and glances at me, too.

He warns her, "Well, you're gonna want to. Harley's been havin' a tough go of it and I ain't sure how this is... gonna affect her."

She gives a look of understanding. "I'll go talk to him now."

When he comes down the steps, he crouches in front of me. He's got his Dad-face on, the one that's all nice and reassuring.

"Hey, you did good today." He tells me. "How 'boutchu go find Carl and read some comic books together or something for a while?"

"Alright." I lilt, watching him gently clap me on my shoulder before following Glenn down the path toward the cars.

But as soon as they're gone, I don't go find Carl. I take myself around the side of the house and slouch between two old barrels in the grass, hiding from everyone. I've gotten real good at swallowing down the need to cry, so that's what I do. At some point, the darn ringing returns.

I wish some little animal would cross paths with me, so I could take my knife out and stab it dead. That'd make me feel better.

Merle would smack me if he saw me like this. Don't cry, Harley. Don't cry. Been a long, long day, but you don't gotta cry.

The sun soon disappears under the earth.

"Sh, sh, sh. Baby, it's okay." The night is quiet, but our little tent is filled with my pent-up sobs. "It's okay."

I wish I could go to sleep like everyone else, but I can't. The day's finally caught up with me. Rick and Glenn still haven't returned, but the farm's been a mess without 'em all the same. Dad's been watching me like a hawk since Lori spoke with him, and dinner was spent in silence, and I been trying not to cry for hours. He keeps crooning the same thing to me over and over. It's okay. I hear that stupid lie every time things aren't okay. It don't get any more okay-er no matter how hard I bawl or scream into his shoulder, or wish with all my heart and all my body, right down to my toes, that I weren't such a little wuss. I wish Sophia was alive. I wish Shane made it to Fort Benning.

Seems I'm always hurting. If anyone asked me what I did best, I'd say this. Sometimes feels like all I was made for.

I did good faking my way through the day, but as soon as I laid my head down to go to sleep and realized that I couldn't no more 'cause of my ear, I finally broke. Can't shoot, can't hear, can't sleep. Everything, even the way I curl up at night, been stripped from me.

"It's not okay," I moan, hating that when I close my eyes, I can still see the things I don't wanna. "S'all wrong. It hurts."

"I know it does, chicken. But I'm 'ere. I'm always here." He murmurs into my hair, holding me even tighter to his chest. "Just get it all out."

I wanna tell him I can't, it don't work that way. If you could cry yer sadness out, I would'a lost all mine by now. But he already knows. Just like me, he's made up of sadness. Most people say we're alike 'cause our matching scowls, our little moles. But more than anythin', it's that.

I don't think I've ever been this type of angry before. There's just nowhere to put it. There's no-one to blame. It's just inside me. And I think it'll be there forever, like my bones are. There's no use being sour at Rick or Dad for killin' Shane. You can't get mad at people when there's no right or wrong to it, when they was just doin' what needed to be done. Shane was crazy, we've always said it. He done so many things he shouldn't have. No, I ain't mad at them for that. Or at Glenn, or T, or Andrea for helping 'em. Not at the bullet that shot my ear off, not at the Greenes' God for takin' all my friends away. I'm just angry at being alive.

"He said it was gonna be d-different this time." He said a whole bunch'a things, but that one I remember. "Daddy, I want it t'be different."

"It will be, baby. It will. I'mma keep you safe with everythin' I got, okay?" At least that one's not a lie. "You know that."

"But I'on care about me." I pull back, my fingers twisted in his tank top. "It's everyone else that's dead. It's Shane and Sophia a-and Momma and Merle and Morales and prolly Meemaw and Kyle and my cousins. I'm sick of it! Ain't no point in movin' on if people gonna keep dyin'!"

"Don't talk like that, Harley Dixon." He gently scolds, brows twitching into a frown. "Don'tchu ever. There is a point."

Well, I don't get it no more. "I ca-an't even sleep properly, Dad."

"Well, let's just try again. You can lay on yer other side." He offers. "Dad'll read you another story, huh? Or you want me to sing again?"

"No." I croak miserably. I don't want a story. I don't even want a song. "Even if I go to sleep, t-that's ruined, too. I get nightmares. And when I wake up, it's the same thing all over again. Eatin' scraps and cryin' and takin' ringing meds just for somethin' else bad to happen."

"That's the way life is, Harley." He tells me, a little stricter this time. "I can't change it any more than you can. People die—"

"People mourn," I quote him with a roll of my wet eyes, "Life moves on. I heard."

"Stop it." He don't like that I mocked him, not one bit. Not when it comes to this. "It's true. We move on. We keep livin'."

"Well, maybe I don't wanna. Maybe I'm done."

Herschel says I got a thing called grit. Dad says I'm his brave girl. Carl thinks I'm some sorta badass, but really I'm just a nasty, broken little thing called Harley Dixon. I don't wanna keep living if living's full of death. Maybe it's better the other way. Beth thinks so. Momma sure did, too. I never got to ask her if it worked out like she wanted and got all her sadness taken away, but I like to think it did. I like to think there's no bad things where she is, only good and happy things. She ain't watched Shane die. She ain't stood at Sophia's grave. She ain't hurtin'.

"Little girl," Dad's voice is thin and shaky like a whisper, but also very, very, very angry. "I know you ain't just said that."

I stare right back at him through my tears without a word, 'cause I did say that. Not to hurt him, but because it's the truth.

He slowly starts shaking his head. "Nah, I ain't raised you this way. I ain't raised a girl that gives up."

My wobbly frown deepens. "So that's what Momma was, then? She was weak?"

"Yes. Weak an' stupid." He says unapologetically. "And I won't have you talkin' like her. Over my dead body, girl, I won't have it."

"And how's that?" I challenge him. "You gonna make Sophia come back? You gonna fix my ear? You gonna make Shane—?"

"Weren't me that did that, Harley. Weren't Rick, weren't nobody but himse—"

"—Come back? You gonna kiss it all better and sing a song?" I taunt, shouting in his face, "They're all dead!"

"I know they are." He argues, taking a moment to suck in a breath. "I'm sorry I ain't find Sophia. I'm sorry 'boutcher ear. I'm sorry you're hurtin' and I can't do nothin' about it, but this type'a talk ain't what's gonna help you, Harley. It's bein' strong. You gotta be stronger."

"But I ain't," I tell him, and the tears are back now, streaming down my face, 'cause I'm right. I ain't strong. "I'm just nothin'."

"You're my little girl, is whatchu are." He says sternly, voice cracking. "I love you more'un anythin'. How you think hearin' that makes me feel?"

Probably makes him see the little traces of Momma on my face. Makes him feel like he's failing the same woman twice.

But I'm just so tired, and I just don't care. "I'on care how it makes you feel, Daddy. I'on care 'bout nothin' anymore."

Being empty must be worse than being full of somethin' like anger, 'cause this is the thing that really gets to him. Under his pair of twisted brows, his sharp eyes start to well up, his mouth curls into a sneer. The crickets outside chirp happily either way, dutifully filling the silence that comes. For the first time, I think my Dad is wrong about something. There is no point in moving on. Bein' strong, that's a waste. Shane said we deserve for things to go differently, go better in some way that ain't so cruel, but it didn't. It won't.

"You're fuckin' scarin' me, Harley." He utters thinly. "You ain't never talked like this."

I know. I ain't never stayed down after a hit, but I been strong for so long, I think it's just ran out.

I don't answer him. Instead I confess quietly, "I think I wanna go sleep in somebody else's tent tonight, Dad."

I need out this stuffy tent. If I could sleep alone in a hole somewhere, I would. I'm done arguing. And he's done, too. He wordlessly slides me off his lap and helps me gather my bedding, trying his best not to tear up more than he already is, muttering to himself, swiping at his eyes. He leads me back to main camp, where all the lamps are shut off and the fire pits are smoking. The night air cools my hot, red cheeks.

He taps his knuckles onto a crate just outside the Grimes' tent, and before he even steps back, there's shuffling inside.

The zipper peels back, revealing Lori's sleepy, moon-lit face. She takes us in with a confused look. "Daryl? What are you doing over here?"

"Listen, I'm sorry for wakin' ya." He murmurs, putting on a level voice. "Came to ask you if... Harley can bunk with you guys tonight."

"Uh, sure." She agrees kindly, encouraging me to step inside by my shoulder, taking my sleeping bag from Dad. "Everything alright?"

"No." He answers gruffly. No point in lying. He don't give up anything else, and she don't pry. He places a kiss to my hair. "Night, chicken."

"Night, Dad." I force myself to say back, 'cause I'm grateful he ain't just kept me stuck in our tent, and that he really listened.

As he gives me one last glance and then leaves, Lori zips the tent up and lays my bedding down next to hers and Rick's. Carl snoozes away in the corner, an open comic book splayed out over his chest. I bet Lori knows what's the matter with me. Rick saw that thousand-yard stare I had after they killed Shane, knows how I been hating myself. He no doubt told her everything. But she's too nice to say anything.

"Here, sweetie." She takes my lumpy pillow and sets it down. I wiggle into the sleeping bag. "Comfy?"

I give a nod, even though laying on my back feels real strange and I don't got Matilda anymore.

She smiles blearily and crawls back under the covers. "Wake me up if you need anything."

And that's that. I stare up at the sky through the Grimes' tent, counting the stars through the black mesh until I fall asleep.

Sometime during the night, I bolt awake, sweating, crying, confused. Shane, I couldn't save him. I watched him die. Again. A gunshot, blood, shouting, dying, searing pain and a dog tag dangling from a broken mirror. Darkness, and then two little hands on my shoulders, shaking me. A boyish, worried voice telling me, hey, it's just a nightmare. I cling to them. Carl. He's here. I don't think before I let him hug me. I sniffle into his neck as he pets the soft spot between my shoulder blades like his Momma and Daddy do when he's upset.

"It was him again," I shudder. "Shane. I miss him. I miss all of 'em."

Life moves on, Daddy said. But how's it that mine ain't? When's that moving part happen?

"Me, too." His arms tighten around me as much as a boy's can. "You're allowed."

After that, I remember the sound of blankets shuffling, a flashlight clicking on, a comic book being quietly read to me. I remember my eyes closing, heart slowing, and I remember thinking he's gonna be the best big brother one day. In a way, he already is.

The next morning, my eyes flutter open to the sight of a quiet, empty tent. By some miracle, I must've slept in a little. I hear the fire crackling away outside, the clinking of spoons on bowls, muffled conversation. After taking a minute to yawn and stretch, I crawl out the tent.

"Ah, there she is." As I round the camping chairs, Dale sends me a warm smile. I take the seat next to him. "Just in time for breakfast."

I glance up at the second storey of the farmhouse, imagining Beth behind one of those pretty windows. I wonder how she feels about waking up this morning. I know I'm exhausted, and all I've done is open my eyes. Another day of eating scraps, crying, and taking pills. Ironically enough, Lori interrupts my spacing out by holding out two little white capsules and a water bottle to me. She's speaking, but I'm not hearing her. I throw both pills back and wash 'em down so I don't gotta look at 'em any longer. I hate that my body can't work on its own anymore.

"Harley." Lori's voice comes quick and sharp this time, startling me. "Are you listening?"

I glare up at her. She's standing so close to me that I don't know how I couldn't hear what she said the first time. "Huh?"

She looks at me like I've done something strange. "I said, 'You can't take those on an empty stomach'. Are you hungry?"

"Oh. Yeah." Now everyone's lookin' at me like that. I reach under my hair and nervously tug on my ear as she turns and fills a bowl with the creamy soup cooking over the fire. I've never not been able to catch what someone's saying like that. She hands the food to me. "Thanks."

As conversation picks up again, I struggle to pin certain words being said, especially when they're from Andrea, who's sitting the furthest from me, and Lori, on my left. S'like half the world's gone silent, and the other half's just a high-pitch squeal. God, it's makin' me mad. I claw at my ear again, as if there's somethin' stuck in there, like a wad of earwax or a cork, but there ain't nothin' in there but the ringing.

A scary thought crosses my mind. If you can't hear for no good reason, that means you're deaf. I can't be deaf.

When Andrea looks directly at me and says something that I think's meant to be a joke, I snap back, "I can't fuckin' hear you, Andrea."

Her smile drops pretty fast, but I don't feel bad. I feel frightened. To my surprise, I don't get told by anyone to mind my language.

Lori just looks at me all pitiful-like and hesitates to guess, "Is it the ringing?"

I'm tired of hearing about the ringing almost as much as I'm tired of hearing the ringing itself. "It ain't the damn— I just can't hear proper."

She glances side-long at Dale. "Herschel did say..."

He sighs, looking a little stressed, before scooting his chair closer to mine and clicking his fingers on my right ear. "What about that?"

It sounds like a far-away thud, thud, thud, where it should actually sound like a snap, snap, snap.

"S'dull." I mutter unconfidently.

He moves to my left ear. This time, there isn't even any thud, thud, thud at all. It's just silence.

When I say nothing, he leans back. "I'm no doctor, but... It seems very obvious to me."

I'm not a doctor neither, and neither is Lori or T or Andrea or Carl, but it's all rather obvious to us, too. I can tell, 'cause they're all lookin' pretty uncomfortable, like this discovery has already ruined the rest of my life as I'm just sitting here. I'm losing hearing in my left ear. That's what it is. As soon as Dad mentioned my hearing to Herschel, and when it got worse at shooting practice, I was scared this would happen.

Ain't nobody shocked. I was never gonna walk away from a gunshot to the side of the head with all my hearing intact.

I guess whenever somebody talks, I'll just have to try reading their lips.

"I had a teacher who was deaf." Carl offers this up like it means anything. "She was really nice and smart. Everyone liked her."

I almost feel like scoffing at him, Wow, thanks so much, Carl. You've cured me.

"It's really nothing." Lori's quick to reassure me, covering for his shitty attempt. "Hundreds of people live like this and they still thrive."

"Hell, I think I'm going deaf sometimes, too." Dale jokes. "And I'd say I'm doing alright, wouldn't you?"

"Sure, Dale." I try to chuckle, staring down at my cold soup.

Nobody mentions the fact that having sharp senses is what keeps you alive nowadays. If a walker sneaks up on me, I won't hear it.

It's then that Dad walks into camp, looking nearly as tired as I feel. He mutters a good morning to everyone, and Lori reluctantly stands to go collect my bedding for him. I waste no time hopping out my seat and going over to hug him, locking my arms around his neck as he kneels to hold me close. I said a whole lotta things last night, and so did he, but I don't think either of us is angry at the other over it. We can read each other well enough to know. He kisses my cheek before pulling back and taking my things from Lori.

Clearing his throat like he does when he might cry, he asks me, "You sleep well, chicken?"

Instead of answering, I just hug his waist and Lori changes the subject. "Daryl, just a heads up. That thing Herschel spoke about..."

"Damn it." He sighs when what she's implying clicks. He reaches down to soothingly pet my hair. "And they still ain't back, are they?"

"No. But we both know Harley and Beth are... in some type of way. We need him."

"And y'all want me to go and fetch him, huh?" He guesses, taking a long moment to consider. Then, "Y'all be grateful you been good to me."

"Thank you, Daryl." She exclaims. "Thank you. We've always been able rely on you."

He scoffs. "Maybe not always."

"Well, enough." She smiles. "They said they were headed to a bar in town called Hatlin's. I think you'll wanna head there first."

"There even gonna be anythin' he can do?" He mumbles so I can barely make it out. "I mean, the guy ain't David Copperfield."

"Well, in the old world, I might've suggested trying out a hearing aid, but now... I'm not so sure."

He grunts. "Them things need batteries, don't they?"

"I think so, but not any standard ones we'd have. You're thinking of finding one, aren't you?"

"I'd turn the whole fuckin' country upside down to get her one, if it's what she needs." He says. "Maybe some old dead guy's wonderin' around with his. Maybe I find one in a doctor's office. Either way, ain't no bill attached to 'em these days and if there's one out there, I'll find it."

She admires the determination in his eyes, lips twitching into a smile. "Rick will help you. I know he will."

"Best I go find officer goody-two-shoes and company, then." He agrees. "Look after my girl for me."

She nods. "That goes without saying."

"I love you, baby." He tells me, which is how I know I done messed up. Takes a lot for him to randomly tell me he loves me, and I guess all that talk last night about giving up was enough. He even places another kiss to my cheek, pinching it after. "I'll see you later."

"I'm sorry, Dad." I mutter.

"I know." He understands I can't help what's happening to me, or how I feel. "I'm gonna get whatchu you need. It's gonna be alright."

I'm not quite sure what I need, but at least the adults seem to know. At least some part of me can be saved.

After he leaves to put my bedding back in our camp, I climb back into my seat and watch the blue truck bumble down the drive and eventually, through the trees. Dale encourages me to finish off my soup in that annoying way my Dad always does, but I only eat a spoonful or two before my stomach shrivels distastefully and he tells me I've tried enough for this morning, so I take to curling up and staring at the fire.

I know if Shane was alive to see what he did to me, he'd be that word Lori likes to say, appalled. He never wanted to hurt me.

A hearing aid. It's one of them things I've never had to think about until now. If I had to go back a couple months and tell seven-year-old Harley, with her long, straight hair and chubby cheeks and bright, green eyes, that I look like a boy, got half an ear, and need a hearing aid, I think she'd hit me upside the head for being a liar. But I know now that you gotta be ready for anythin', like dead people in barns and a last-minute gunshot, and now, I guess, the need for a hearing aid. I have to try squash that feeling of shame. It ain't good for me, but it's always there.

I almost make myself chuckle imagining Carl tryna make being half-deaf badass. He's so relentlessly supportive. They all are.

It's too bad, then, that I still feel this way. This numb and hollowed out, alive but-also-dead way.

The way Carol must feel, and maybe the way Dad felt after Momma died.

"Thank you." Maggie tells Lori and Jacqui in the kitchen, as I stand in front of the fireplace in the next room over. "This is nice of y'all."

I see what Glenn was talkin' about now, about Maggie's great grandfather lookin' like a bald Georgie Washington. He's sitting all proper and important-like inside a photo frame on the mantle, like all people from forever ago do. But there's also newer photos, ones with color, like Maggie and Beth as little girls, posing with horse riding trophies and smiling together at old Thanksgivings and Christmases. I feel happy just looking at them. Baby photos, kind-looking people, school photos. We never knew the Greenes before, but I feel like now I might.

"We just thought you could use some help." Lori replies. "It's been a difficult time for all of us, especially Harley and Beth."

"I appreciate it. Sharin' your supplies, that means a lot these days. You wouldn't mind helpin' me toss it all together will you?"

"Not at all." Jacqui pokes her head around the arch and calls out, "Harley, you wanna come help Maggie finish cooking?"

With a little flinch, I turn to face the three women, remembering why we came here in the first place. We had some tinned vegetables and whatever else left over from breakfast, and Lori thought we'd offer them to Maggie, who's in the middle of cooking a meal for Beth.

"I guess." I hum as I head into the kitchen. It ain't like I got anything better to do. "What're you makin'?"

"Potato soup." Maggie pulls a few bowls from the worn cabinets with a smile. "Well, veggie soup, now."

"Hopefully Beth will feel a little better after a warm breakfast." Lori muses. "It always helped me."

All their words are muffled, as if I'm underwater and they aren't, but I can still just about make out what they're saying.

When Maggie places the bowls on the counter and sees me peering over the ledge, she chuckles. "Let me grab you a stool, huh?"

She grabs a mini wooden step-ladder leaning against the pantry, pulls it open, and sets it down for me. I step onto the lowest rung. She fills a bowl with water from the faucet and slides it in front of me, instructing me to how to rinse off the fat, muddy potatoes and lay them on the dry rag afterwards. It's an easy, mindless task. I get to work while they start slicing up the vegetables and opening the tins.

As Maggie scrapes carrot into the pot, she jokes, "I been makin' so much soup recently I think I forgot how to make anything else."

"Good thing we've taken a liking, then." Jacqui smiles. "I've never tasted a tater soup good as y'all Greenes'. You know your stuff."

Feels like I'm back at the quarry again, helping prepare our next meal from whatever scraps we had, listening to the women gossip.

"Pssh. I'm tellin' you, as kids, Beth and I loathed the day Wednesday came around and Momma'd make her famous potato soup." She scoffs, grinning at old memories. "She always put too much salt in, said it was good for us. But all it was good for was makin' us barf."

Lori makes a sassy face. "I'm taking it the recipe's been tweaked a little since then."

Maggie smirks. "Wouldn't be eatin' it if it hadn't."

"Must've been nice, growing up with food on the table that's straight from your garden."

"Yeah, it was. Fresh peaches and apples to take to school, home-made bread and the like. We've always lived this way."

"Pretty perfect, if you ask me." Jacqui agrees. "Me and my fiancé were always eatin' take away all the time. God, I miss it sometimes."

"A nice greasy burger sounds so good right now." Lori moans, like she can almost taste it. "Oh, and some curly fries on the side."

They all laugh. It's a little funny. I remember her back in the beginning, braggin' about how her family never ate fast food. Now look at her.

As the conversation drifts to more boring things, I find myself thinking about Beth again. We sure grew up different, but we got broken the same way, at the same time. We clearly been thinking about the same things. She was just brave enough to actually pick up a knife and do something about it. I wonder if she knows now her Momma and step-brother been dead a long time, that they weren't sick at all, and were just bodies needed mourning. The Greenes were a little late to that, but it's like Meemaw used to say, better late than never.

I wonder if Beth regrets what she did. She could be dead right now, in a mound of dirt right next to her Momma.

When I was littler, I used to think Dad could read my mind when I was thinkin' unsavoury things like this, and that he'd give me in trouble right away. I thought that's how it worked with adults and kids, but it ain't. I can think whatever I want and it's safe inside my head.

The potatoes get peeled and diced and thrown into the soup like everything else, and then my new job is to help wash dishes.

When we're down to the last few, Maggie says I should take the bowl of soup up to Beth, 'cause they've got this handled.

"Sure." I agree before hopping down, wondering why my heart's beating so fast all of a sudden.

The door to Beth's bedroom creaks open.

I don't bother waiting for her to give me permission to come in. I just creep in all on my own, because from what I've heard, she hasn't talked all day. Her room is exactly like I would'a guessed. Like something out a trendy teenager's magazine, with a nice white desk covered in perfume bottles and hair clips and crumpled paper and books, blonde pop star posters stuck to the walls, a fluffy, cutesy rug, a teddy bear thrown on the lounge chair sitting by the window. Even the Mp3 player Maggie was telling me about, laying forgotten on the floor.

I carefully set the hot bowl on her nightstand, but something keeps me curious, and I don't turn to leave just yet.

Beth's staring at the wall like they said. Not out the window or anything. Just at the wall. I can't imagine her humming sweetly and letting me borrow one of her shirts, giggling at something I said from the other side of the bathroom door. She looks like a totally different girl.

"I went into shock too, yesterday." I randomly muse. "Or at least that's what Rick said. He's the one with the cowboy hat."

I think I might still be in shock. I'm talking and walking around, but inside, I feel like whatever statue Beth's turned into.

"I ain't sure if anyone's told you about it, but you prolly heard the screamin'. The man my Daddy stabbed, Shane, he took me away. We got pretty far. Sometimes I think about what would'a happened if we got even further, but... he was meant to die. Some people just are."

At that, she breaks her gaze away from that spot on the wall and looks me right in the eye. "Do you think I'm one of those people?"

"I... I ain't smart enough to know." I say honestly, before an awkward pause takes over. "'Cause I was only in grade two, y'know."

Carl seemed to find that funny when I first told him, but Beth just looks uninterested.

"And you?" She hides her bandaged wrists under the covers when she catches me looking. "What're you meant for? Dyin', or somethin' else?"

"I think, um... All I'm meant for is suckin' up hurt." I confess. "Like, there's all this bad in the world, and when there's nobody left for it to go to, it goes to me. Maybe I'm just unlucky. Maybe I done somethin' wrong. That's how life is, my Daddy says. So if that's the 'something else', I think I'd rather just be the type meant for dyin'. That's what my Momma did. She was in pain, and then one day... She wasn't."

"She killed herself," Beth says as fact.

"Yeah." I mutter, feeling the weight of the locket crush down on my chest as I take a seat on the edge of the bed. "She did."

"Was she the sort meant for dyin'?"

"No. She weren't." That much, I'm sure of. "She was just meant to be my Momma."

Beth's pretty eyes gloss over as she says very dully, "Our Mom's dead, too. Right before I thought I was about to die, I imagined what she'd think of me when we'd meet in heaven. She'd be ashamed, I know. Somehow, that was so much worse than the thought of going to Hell."

"Well, maybe your God made sure you didn't die." I guess, hoping it's comforting. "Maybe he wants you to live for everybody else."

A tear beads up on her waterline before sliding down her pale cheek. "I just don't know what to do. I think I'm ashamed, too."

"My Dad says you just gotta be stronger, but I don't know how." I wish I did. "I'm sorry. I'd tell you if I did."

"It's okay." With a sniff, she sends me a tiny smile. "You know, you're kind. I can just tell."

That makes me smile back. Something about my rugged hair, my mean face, my missing ear must still be soft like it was before.

Author's Note.

Sorry for the longer than usual wait between chapters! I've been dealing with intense writer's block recently so it just took me a while to get this out, but I'm pushing through!

I hope you're ready for a familiar face to return next chapter! ;)

PS. I wanted to thank you all for the touching dms and messages I've received recently, both on here and on ao3. It's still so mind blowing to me that there are so many people out there who hold a special place in their heart for this story just like I do. I'm so grateful for you all :) 💙

#the walking dead #fanfic #daryl dixon #twd #twd fanfiction #rick grimes #angst #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #daddy issues #daryl dixon x reader #ao3 fanfic

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thistransient · 1 month

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Something possessed me to go to the Keelung Ghost Festival parade last night- perhaps literally, as I woke up that morning at an ungodly hour (for me at least) unable to fall back to sleep, and decided to simply get up and go about my day. Somehow by the time afternoon rolled around I had still not taken a nap, and decided to start looking at the best way to get to Keelung (today I learned 基隆 was actually 雞籠 until the govt changed it around 1875, which explains why the signage all said 雞籠中元祭). I hate the Taipei Main Station crowds with a passion so I took the bus from Yuanshan instead. Only the back row was still completely empty. The guy who sat down on the other end from me buckled his seatbelt and on a whim I followed suit; he turned out to know what was up because the bus driver was also driving like he was possessed, and executed some maneuvers that led other passengers to clearly wish they had secured themselves as well.

The bus went directly to the square near Keelung Station, it was already quite crowded with people having claimed their seats on the curb, but there was still over an hour before the parade was set to begin and I couldn't see whatever was going on with some sort of dance performance amidst the crowd so I walked around the harbour and got dinner to pass the time. When I came back to the main road at the designated time it was even more noisy and crowded but nothing seemed to be happening beyond some fireworks and much blowing of those raucous dissonant horns (嗩吶, ikyky). I do not particularly enjoy a disembodied ruckus, so I decided to just walk to 主普壇 (third photo) to see the lights before I got overstimulated. Thus I discovered I could simply amble along the road and peruse the trucks and floats as they were waiting. Eventually I came to the turn off to go up the hill to the park, which was fairly serene (there were some tents with statues set up, but the main event there is tonight) and allowed for some recharging. They've even built a new (at least not there when I visited in 2020) observation bridge sort of thing which gives a nice view, although I walked back down again instead of taking the elevator.

I had planned to just go home then, but the parade had gotten underway by now and I was transfixed by all the illuminated vehicles, lights, lanterns, and blaring music, to which one old lady was dancing maniacally in the street. The photo doesn't do it justice but there was even someone in an oversized gorilla suit on a truck with a stripper pole:

(I wish I had gotten a clear photo of the person in a frog suit beating an absolutely ginormous drum being wheeled along in a procession.)

The amount of old guys managing to pull around these carts without losing the prodigious amount of ash accumulating on the cigarettes hanging out all their mouths was also impressive:

It was all certainly a sight worth seeing, although eventually I was feeling a bit sore of foot and deaf of ear, and decided to return to the station and take the train home before everyone had the same idea. (The final event of the night was the burning of water lanterns at Badouzi Harbour around 23:00, but I wasn't going to be able to take public transport home and didn't feel like staying in Keelung overnight either.) By now the party had reached the square where I was initially milling about and the crowds were enthusiastic. I contemplated staying a bit longer to watch but thought better of it, which was good because it was standing room only the whole way back on the train and metro and I was exhausted by the time I finally got home (mainly from being out n about for so long on so little sleep).

All in all, a worthwhile adventure. Next time I might consider staying the weekend in Keelung to see the late night stuff, but for now an evening was certainly enough.

#基隆 #keelung #ghost festival #taiwan

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luchitohamilton · 1 year

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lewis with moritz steidl back at the austrian gp '23, part 2 [part 1]

I don’t know whether I’d be a writer. I’ve always wondered, when I hear about writers I’m always like I’d love to know what that entails, like, I couldn’t even, I’ve seen a script, but I would have no idea where I would start with a script. I’ve written songs and that process’s been, you know, learning about the pre, the verse, the bridge and all these different things and how you narrate through that and that’s been a process of learning that so. I don’t currently have any desire to write a story. I feel more compassionate and more driven to like give people opportunities that would never normally have, an opportunity to uplift their stories, whether it’s in documentaries, whether it’s real life stories, whether it’s people from diverse backgrounds who, you know, or something that would normally not get seen and so, you know, as you go across the industries there’s little access for people with disabilities, for people from diverse backgrounds and we gotta disrupt that, not only in this sport but across the most[industries].

They posted another version of this interview and in English so, transcript below 👇

So, Lewis, first of all, thank you to be invited here in Mercedes [My pleasure.] And how is it? Finally you come to a race weekend and now this could be a really really good one.

Yeah, well, we’ve had a couple of really good race weekends, in Montreal, in Barcelona, which to be on the podium on those two, to be so close in Monaco, was a real positive for us. So, we wanna try and continue with the consistency. The team had done an amazing job to point us in a better direction.

When you enter the car, or when you also leave the car, do you or does your body gives you any other specific signs? In a good ones or some, I don’t know. [My Body?] Yeah, yeah, your body. Do you feel like… I’m 30 years old, 29 soon 30, and I remember when I was 20 everything was quite smooth and so, I’m not asking but can you imagine you as a top sportsman you can maybe, you have other signs your body sends out to you?

I think uhm, I’m 38, I think I feel stronger than I’ve ever been so, I think the thing you notice when you get older is recovery takes a little bit longer but it’s not massive. There’re so many different solutions today like cold water therapy, there’s cryotherapy, there’s all this other things to help speed up recovery and better understanding of diet so, it’s not as bad as people say it is. If you look at Tom Brady, he was 44/45 and still performing so that gives people like myself a lot more confidence.

When I get out of the car I feel generally fresh, as I’ve said, I’ve been training in a slightly different way this past year and I feel a lot stronger and more stable that I’ve ever felt in the car physically now, then the car it’s not been great to drive for the past year and a bit, but now it’s slowly starting to give us more confidence as a driver.

You know, actually, to be honest, I just wanted to ask you this question because I think it’s kind of pushed also by the media, all over the world, for example “oh, you are a 7-time world champion against now a younger man” and so on. I think it’s the narrative all the media wants to hear but it’s so untrue. I have a quote for you, Mohammed Ali once said, and I also can relate this to myself, “Just remember you don’t have to be what they want you to be”. Do you know this quote? Do you like it?

Yeah, I like that. Definitely, I mean, if you see how I’ve navigated over the time that I’ve been here in this sport. It’s been a challenge, you know, and you have of course, I’m sure, your own challenges. I think always just knowing yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing and not trying to change yourself to suit what other people think.

I think on the racing side of things, yeah, the narrative’s been interesting in the past year, you know, it’s a new scenario to have a new driver, George he has nothing to lose, zero, you know, so if he finished behind, they say “well, you’re driving against a 7-time world champion”, if he finishes ahead, is a win-win all the time, but for me if I finish ahead it’s kind of like “oh, well you’re 7-time world champion [so it’s expected]”, you know, and finishing behind is all doom and gloom, you know, so uhm, I just don’t read any of that stuff so I’m not like, I don’t get sucked in by the BS as you mentioned, you know, I just focus on everyday trying to be the best version, trying to work towards building the best version of myself, physically, mentally, you know, I’m trying to work on my entrepreneurial stuff, I’m trying to make sure my foundation is having true impact on people, I’m trying to make sure that when I travel around the world I’m utilizing this platform that I have, like social media, in a positive light that’s educational and it’s uplifting, and what else? I don’t know what else I can do.

You know when I have the most motivation is like when people say like “you can’t” and then, my motivation is lifted up extremely high to prove them so wrong and I think, their faces when you look at them and they are like "he's really has done it", you know what I mean?

Yeah, I love that. I have that, I can empathize with what you're saying there, my whole life also people said, "you can’t", when I was a kid people said, "you can’t", when I was at school my teachers said, "you can’t", when I said I wanted to be a Formula 1 World Champion they said, "you can’t". I’ve had team drivers and drivers, so many people, so, so many people trying to create that narrative and let that sink into your head and if you let that into your head then it can become a reality, right?, so just blocking it out, continue to believe, that's been the key and then proving people wrong, it’s the best thing ever, so I love that you’ve done that, and you’re doing that, and I think that’s part of our role, on this Earth, right, is to prove them wrong and, yeah.

I remember when I was joining this team, Niki was one of those, he said, “You can’t be doing this, you can’t be doing that” and then, you know, in one of the races he was saying to Toto “He can’t be doing this things [going to a fashion show in New York right before the Singapore GP in 2018]. There’s no way, he can't be traveling here and arriving here fully focused” and I arrived, and I did the best time in Singapore in qualifying and he was like “Ok, maybe he can” so, you know, even the young to old, you're having to prove that too.

You know like for me, you know, what comes through today like talking to you, doing an interview and a Formula 1 panel, was always my dream and I remember back in University and also back in my high school days people doing like “ah, it’s so difficult in this world” and so on, and I always think if you give up and show them that’s what they want to see and I always had the most motivation out of them.

Yeah, no, well congratulations to you.

Congratulations to you. And I have another example for you. I saw a video of you where you said that also when you got your puppy Roscoe back then you also liked the fact that people always told you…

Yeah, everyone said to me in my family “ you can’t have a dog, you’ll never be able to take care of a dog” and yeah, I just, anything anyone say I can’t do I just feel for me I have to go out and do it, I’m like “dammit, I have to go and do it now” and so, you know, look, I skydive, I surf, I try everything even if I’m not good. I’m not good at everything but I’m very very focused when I try everything that I do to try to be the best I can be.

At least try, I think, that’s the most important thing, right?

Exactly. You gotta try everything, anything and everything so, whether I’m trying instruments, I’m trying, and I’m not great at the piano but I’m trying…oh God I still dream of one day playing a lot better and one day I will be able to play really really well.

You’re a 7-time World Champion, someone who knows maybe most of the world. Do you also sometimes, at home, it's silence, you have self-doubt?

Uhm, there’s definitely…I wouldn’t be human if that, there weren´t ever. Sometimes it pops up, sometimes it's creeps op, and that´s part of my experience of growing up when, you know, with these people telling you "you can't" and then sometimes it creeps out inside that voice that comes in and says, you know, "you´re no good", " you don't look good" or "you're not this", "you're not beautiful", all these different things and I've just learned to really continue to build a positive, a strong mental approach to my days so that can penetrate me ever.

Like you block it, you’re so focused, also in a personal manner it doesn’t influence you.

Yeah, and I also don’t do things that take away my energy, I don’t put people around me that take away my energy. I surround myself with people who are like-minded, I surround myself with people who are positive and who are like also driven to, not to be, they are not negative, they are not on social media saying negative things about people, yeah.

Are there people, like when I have self-doubt when I think about things, I know certain people I want to ask, I mean, the friend and family, they tell you always the best because they want you to feel good, but there are some people around, I know, when I have self-doubt I don’t know if I can make the next step, whatever, personally or business-wise, I go to them. Do you also have those kind of people around you?

I would say if there was ever somebody it was always my dad. I mean, I went into the boxing ring and this kid beat me up in the boxing ring and I was like "I don't want to go back in. I can't do it" and my dad said "Yes, you can" and that was the first time he told me "Yes, you can", and those words are so powerful. You tell yourself that every day, then, it can liberate you, you know, so I tell myself in the morning [You can meditate] Yeah, tell myself this morning "Oh, maybe I can't do this" "Yes, you can". So, anytime those doubts come around I just I would rather just keep telling myself "Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can". If I go to the gym and I don't feel I could do the weights [I would say] "You can do it. You got this", and that's just all in the mind and my mind is so infinitely powerful, that we don’t even realize and so it's making sure we’re feeding it with the right positive information.

I also heard you’re really inspired by, or was inspired by, Kobe Bryant, you also have your own production company. Is this something you can see yourself in the future also writing narratives, writing stories?

I don’t currently have any desire to write a story. I feel more compassionate and more driven to like give people opportunities that would never normally have, an opportunity to uplift their stories, whether it’s in documentaries, whether it’s real life stories, whether it’s people from diverse backgrounds who, you know, or something that would normally not get seen and so, you know cause as you go across the industries there’s little access for people with disabilities, for people from diverse backgrounds and we gotta disrupt that, not only in this sport but across the most [industries] [Across the world of business as well] so I applaud you, because you know, you’re the first here, you know, you’re first and that’s huge and there’s people that are gonna see that and we need to make sure that we highlight that more because, you know, my brother has cerebral palsy and he’s the first in touring car that’s showing we can also do this thing.

#lewis hamilton #austrian gp 2023 #f1 #formula 1 #belgium gp 2023 #pal archivo

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