#finally i get to do one before june ended! LOL
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happy pride! 🌈✨
i never talk about it but here are my personal self-indulgent wangxian headcanons ❤
#been trying to get a wx pride piece since 2021#finally i get to do one before june ended! LOL#mine#my art#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#wangxian#lan wangji#lan zhan#wei wuxian#wei ying#pride#pride 2023
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WHY CHAPTER 431 OF MY HERO ACADEMIA SCREAMS CENSORSHIP
First let's start by the "afterword", the note Horikoshi left after 430 and before the extras, chapter 431.
Original japanese for those who understand.
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The best traslation I found and most people are agreeing with.
Key sentences are:
1.The real final chapter is 429, 430 is more like a curtain call.
2. PS: For chapter 431, I turn off the cameras and free the characters from their dramas.
This note being left after 430 and before the extras is so important. . The clarification of "the real final chapter is 429" and 430 is the curtain call is screaming: the show has ended here. This is further stated by "i turn the cameras off" by the man who use to refer himself as the camera man, I leave you with an example.
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(They're talking about Vol 37 cover)
And back to point number 2: "and free the characters from their dramas", which could perfectly be understood as "the characters are no longer tied to their previous plots and drama" no longer connected to the main story.
It may seem like a reach until here, we're just trying to convince ourselves that's not canon, right? They´re delusions, right?
The problem is how far away everything about 431 antagonizes the whole story, the characters doesn't feel like themselves, they even regress back all their development, the drawing style looks totally different and there are many irregularities that call for our attention.
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Dabi, 431 and by Horikoshi
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Toga and Ochaco in 431:
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Toga and Ochaco by Horikoshi:
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All Might's signature for Katsuki (Horikoshi would never mess this up):
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Kirishima with 6 fingers lol, Horikoshi loves drawing hands, he would never.
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Katsuki's odd teeth what the fuck. (His hand looks good to me)
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Ochaco and Shoto just look, weird. It's clearly not Horikoshi's art style.
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And this awful background (center) was the main giveaway.
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Horikoshi's backgrounds are so professional:
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At this point I'm getting tired since the difference is astounding, don't believe me, just check the manga.
I don't think Horikoshi would've allowed those mistakes had he have a role in the making, maybe he did, there's no saying about that, but clearly if he did his involvement was very low.
Character's development wise now.
Seriously? "Deku"? And Katsuki complaining for picking him up. He cried his eyes out when Izuku lost his quirk and now he's back at season 1?
Izuku would never in a million years turn down that offer. And if he did, it would never be like this, so devoid of emotion and empathy.
430 showed us an Izuku aiming for his dreams again and at 431 this Izuku ¿? It's okay with being a teacher? Ok. And if that's not the problem, why he outright rejects Katsuki out of nowhere? When their rivalry was one of the main points of the plots for 430 chapters and now just um over? Without justification? Ok.
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Ok.
Now specifically about that ship canonization and bkdk.
Horikoshi has been doing this for 10 years. The choices he took the whole manga were incredibly intentional, all those romantic tropes given to bkdk, his interviews, all stand in direct opposition to what happened in this last chapter.
I, myself, don't know much about Jump but what I've heard is they end lot of shonens with the same heterosexual formula. I don't think all of this is a coincidence.
Something really important that needs to be adressed to is what happened back in June (I think), when suddenly MHA announced it was ending in 5 chapters could've something to do with this. The manga was suddenly rushed to its ends with unsatisfying resolutions and as if that was not enough, one month later (at most) the same happened to JJK and all of this came accompanied by a switch of one of the heads of Jump.
About 431 again though.
I was just thinking what would I do if I was pressured to write something that ruins the biggest project of my life and goes against everything I was hoping for? Refuse. Tell them to write it themselves. If I can't do anything to stop it and it'll be there, alright, but I WON'T DO IT.
And I think this could be Horikoshi's case.
I've never seen a shonen manga come so close to implying his male protagonist and his male deuteragonist are in love before. Yes, it was not EXPLICIT but it was so fucking clear if you knew how to read, all the way up to 430. All those cliches tropes he gave them, he knew, we know.
I thought I'll die trying to explaineverything that seems wrong with this with nothing to back me up but the fact that he added that note is clear for me. I'm surprised they allowed him to publish it, I thought we wouldn't even have that.
PS:
It's interesting this being posted the same day 431 comes out. Also "heroaca is pretty dark, huh?"
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I'll not go into this anyways because it's kind of a reach but the conclusion is: I think it's a "soft" censorship and Horikoshi did his best to relay his message given what he had.
Thanks for reading!
#bnha#deku#izuku midoriya#mha#mha 430#bakudeku#katsudeku#bkdk#mha 431#mha extras#bakugou kastuki#bakugou#kacchan#katsuki#dkbk
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ENDLESSLY (teaser)
18+ / mdi
summary: despite not having a large audience, jungkook's camboy career prevailed with the hopes that someday he'd make enough money to finally leave his dead-end job. what happens when one of his admirers offers to make that dream come true?
content: camboy!jungkook x trustfundbaby!reader, jungkook is shy, jungkook is a faceless camboy with a very small audience, reader is younger than jk, kind of pathetic!jungkook, reader is rich and very confident, slowburn (kind of), afab reader, smut, camming, masturbation (m receiving), oral (f receiving), dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.
(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)
wc: 2126 (teaser); 12.7k (full fic)
RELEASE DATE: june 28th
or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!
a/n: this took me forever to finish lol i hope its any good at all</3
masterlist | kofi/patreon
"Well, that's it for today guys, thanks for watching."
With an awkward chuckle, Jungkook reached out to his computer screen and shut the laptop closed, groaning just as he stopped being out of earshot.
233 viewers.
It wasn't much, but it was enough to give Jungkook the hope that maybe someday he'd be able to find pride in the number. Maybe his streams would blow up in views overnight one of these days – the hope prevailed. It had been a month since he hit the 200's, now garnering an average of 250 viewers per stream.
It was quite embarrassing to him sometimes. There were instances in which he'd finish a stream and regain full consciousness of his actions, becoming embarrassed at the knowledge of strangers watching him cum — of them hearing his voice and his whimpers as he played it up for their entertainment — and of him not even being able to make a living out of it.
He had to stay creative, sometimes finding scripts online that he'd read out to his viewers while he jerked off, playing the role of a subby coworker or a dominant childhood friend in order to keep his audience engaged (and maybe incite one or two to send money his way). Other times, he'd simply ramble about his life (but never get too specific) whilst he let himself lose control on camera.
Jungkook never once showed his face, only ever giving people glimpses at the tattoos decorating his arm and of his cock as it stood against his abs. The most he'd ever shown had been a small view of his lips before the camera's frame cut off.
He liked it this way.
In reality, he was too shy to ever be outspoken about doing such a thing, which was why no one in his life knew about it. He didn't judge anyone who enjoyed camming, but he was simply too self-conscious to do such a thing. Despite being aware of how handsome people thought him to be, he had never been too forward when it came to sex, much less this.
This had all started a little over a year ago, when he'd come across a few cammers on Twitter late into the night. Going on their accounts out of sheer curiosity, he realized that they each had a large following, not only on Twitter, but also on camming websites. Some of them even had their Patreons and PayPal accounts linked to their accounts, amassing even more revenue from these third party websites on top of their income from the camming sites. This was what mainly caught his attention.
Part of him felt bad about being on it solely for the money, but he was beyond desperate. And so he held the false hope that he'd somehow have the same luck as them and create an income out of this.
As someone who had only recently graduated university, having found no luck in his field, Jungkook had to resort to applying to jobs he felt were below his level of expertise. Having no connections in his field and no call-backs from employers, he found himself working a part time at a gas station accompanied by a part time at a grocery store. Both jobs were miserable to him.
The jobs themselves were not horrible, but attempting to manage both schedules and both sets of responsibilities was slowly weighing down on him. His coworkers were also not the best to be around. And did he mention the commute to each establishment? That part ate up at his days drastically, leaving him with almost no time for rest.
Jungkook knew that he should've given up on camming a long time ago. Hell, he'd made a grand total of $876 dollars in the past year he'd been at it. That would be a laughable amount to all the cammers that had inspired him into taking such a profession. But he didn't have any other prospects. Even as he worked his two jobs and cammed, he continued to search for more fulfilling (and better paying) employment, but was unable to ever even get any callbacks.
And so now he found himself doing about three streams per week, getting more and more discouraged each time he'd end a stream with the same low number of viewers.
With yet another sigh, Jungkook got up to go clean himself up, lethargic in his movements due to both the physical and mental exhaustion of having worked all day, only to come back home for a lowly appreciated stream.
Coming back from a much needed hot shower, he did his usual skin care before heading back to bed, where he had been recording just now. For a moment he pondered whether he should go to sleep now in order to get ready for work early next morning or to indulge in watching some anime as a reward for the tiring day.
Going for the latter, he opened his computer back up, sighing again when he remembered he hadn't closed the tab in which he'd been camming.
But before he could actually tap out of it, something caught his attention, making his eyes widen more than he thought possible.
burner98 donated $1,000
This must've been some sort of mistake. Right? Maybe they mistyped? No one in their right mind would donate such an amount to a faceless cammer ranking up to less than a thousand weekly views.
All his prior donations had been in the lower numbers, usually only ever amounting up to $20. Never had he ever gotten someone to donate anything in the triple digits, much less going into the quadruples.
The name of the donor also caught his attention. Babystarcandy. It was a frequent watcher who had been in attendance to every single stream of his starting a few months back — which was when they'd first made an appearance in his audience.
He had never noticed this viewer in particular, though they were one of the only people to ever grant him donations. They'd usually donate whilst he was off stream, which he found slightly strange but never questioned. Checking through his donation history, he saw this name listed three times prior, with donations of $5, $15 and $20 respectively. They'd happened throughout the months, with no pattern in particular. It made no sense for them to donate such a high amount to Jungkook out of nowhere, especially not while he wasn't actively on stream.
With a heavy heart and half a mind to simply keep the money, he decided to message the donor to inform them of their mistake and follow through with a refund.
So much for his anime binge before bed.
babystarcandy - Hey, burner98. Thank you so much for the kind donation, but I think you made a mistake. I'll refund you.
He decided to go with something kind of formal. After all, he'd never spoken to this person before.
Surprisingly, the response came within minutes. Being three in the morning, he assumed you'd wait til the following day to reply, but maybe you were in a different time zone.
burner98 - omg hiii !! did i make a mistake ?? im sorry !! i meant to send 1k. did it not go through correctly ?
Had that not been an accident? One thousand dollars?
This made no sense. Why would you send him such a large amount out of nowhere? That was more than he'd made in the entire past year. Hell, that was half his rent.
Jungkook had no idea how to respond to you.
As much as he wanted to accept it, it felt like robbing you of a fortune.
babystarcandy - Gosh, hi! No, the thousand came through, it's just ... Are you sure this is correct? This is a lot of money ... I'd feel terrible taking so much from you
Once again, you responded almost immediately.
burner98 - haha ur so cute
burner98 donated $2,000
burner98 - is that better ? ;)
Holy fucking shit.
Jungkook's hands were shaking at this point. His eyes couldn't believe what was right in front of him.
Quickly, he took out his phone to check his baking app, checking to see if the deposits were legitimate. Upon opening it, he found that his balance had in fact gone up $3,000. This was far more money than he'd ever had in his bank account.
He stared blankly at it for a few moments without so much as breathing. A reminder to snap out of his trance arrived in the form of another chime coming from his computer — a new message from you.
burner98 - did i scare u off :((
burner98 - just wanna help u out :(((
Immediately, he rushed to respond, not even thinking before typing anymore.
babystarcandy - no! not at all! this is just so much money. i dont want you getting yourself into financial trouble for me
Within seconds, you responded.
burner98 - haha it's okay i can afford it dont worry <3
He furrowed his brows worriedly, typing up yet another message.
babystarcandy - i really dont mean to sound ungrateful, but why ? it's so much money ... this is life-altering type of money for me (as made up as that may sound) my content isn't even that good. why are you giving me this?
He knew he was shooting himself in the foot by questioning it so much and not simply accepting it, but he'd learned through his life that good things don't just come out of nowhere. He needed more details. At least for his peace of mind.
burner98 - i adoooore ur content. u've helped me so much u have noooo idea !!! u deserve it !! u mentioned in ur live a week ago u were struggling with money, so ofc id wanna help u out pretty <3
Fuck. You actually liked his content? His content was worth $3,000 to you?
Jungkook was almost sure he had accidentally fallen asleep before he even opened his computer. Pinching himself a few times proved for this to be actually real.
babystarcandy - thank you so much. you have no idea how much this means to me.
babystarcandy - there has to be some way i can repay you.
Was he propositioning himself to you?
Not even Jungkook was sure. He had no idea what he was offering to you, but it was the middle of the night and he was extremely grateful. He couldn't help himself as he typed up that message and sent it.
burner98 - oh ? what would u suggest ?
Oh, fuck. You were agreeing. Okay ... Now what? Jungkook had nothing to offer. He was an amateur cammer with nothing to his name. What could some random person on the internet with tons of disposable income possibly want from him?
babystarcandy - maybe i could give you a call to thank you ? you know, one on one ?
He mentally kicked himself as soon as he sent that message.
What the hell was he thinking, offering up a personal call to some random person online? This could be a friendless creep for all he knew. He had no identifying information about you, other than knowing you apparently had a vast disposable income. I mean, hell, your account name was burner98, you clearly did not want to leave any traceable information about you.
Before he could backtrack (not that he would actually have the balls to), the three dots on your side of the conversation popped up, followed by another message from you.
burner98 - really ??? :00 that'd be amazing omg ... are you free tomorrow ? i'll make it worth your while <3
Staring at the $3,000 sitting cozy on his bank account, he didn't even let himself think before agreeing, sending a quick message in confirmation. He had work tomorrow, but maybe calling off would be worth it considering you were hinting at even more money.
Jungkook felt dirty for some reason, despite knowing what camming truly entailed. However, he also knew that there was nothing morally wrong with what he was doing, so he pushed that shyness to the back of his mind and began drafting up some sort of goodbye message that encapsulated your plans to call tomorrow and a few more thank you's for your donations.
burner98 donated $5,000
burner98 - just a little thank u for ur kindness ;) see u tomorrow baby ~
Jungkook had to swallow the gasp that was about to leave his body. Five thousand dollars??
You'd managed to drop eight thousand dollars on him within an hour's time. This was four months of his rent. Jungkook had never had this much money lying in his bank account. Its mere presence was making him nervous.
Not only that, but the thought of talking to someone who had this much money to give without a second thought scared him shitless.
There was no way he'd sleep tonight.
...
you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!
#bts imagine#bts scenario#bts scenarios#bts fanfic#bts oneshot#bts smut#bts x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenario#junhui fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#bookmarks
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Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖
~from her biggest fans :)
ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋
This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT
I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.
This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.
~~~
Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!
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Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.
Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭
Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).
Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!
Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭
That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!
I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...
not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.
#mayor doidles#fanart#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#rin and len#meiko#kaito#megurine luka#gumi#kamui gakupo#ia#vflower#mayu#kaai yuki#oliver#otomachi una#fukase#sf-a2 miki#utatane piko#yohioloid#big al#sweet an#kasane teto#i literally dont think i can tag everyone. um. so you get the idea right#digital art#cell shaded
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redraw of one of my very first tmnt drawings!!
had meant to do it exactly the one year later mark, but i blinked and suddenly april was may was june -- so ended up being more like a year and 1.5 months lol
May 11th, 2024 vs. April 6th, 2023
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its so funny seeing them nest to each other now, but i remember when i finished the first version last year, i was so proud to have finally made a proper 'finished' piece.
like, yall, i struggled for years to every be able to create a piece i would ever call close to 'done'. part of that is me being a very knit-picky kinda person, and wanted to continue to tweak everything all of the time forever, but on top of that i also do work slow af, and before last year i didnt really have access to any digital media. and i love traditional mediums, but im defintiely not practiced enough to be able to get the results i was looking for with any sort of speed. like im genuinely not sure i created a single 'finished' work in my life -- not in school, not in work, not even in the free space of silly fandom doodles.
and then this piece happened!
and i knew even then that it was messy and rough af, but it had a background!! and color!! sure, the linework wasnt polished at all but still, for a silly little fanart? it was defined enough to distinguish the separate characters, and read expressions! there was even a little tiny bit of lighting!! i hate lighting!!
seeing the two versions side by side honestly i kinda have to laugh at how Rough the first version looks now. but you know what. im still so so proud of it. the colors are muddy, theres no shift in value; their clothing designs arent at all defined, leos teeth look weird af and theres lines on caseys face that are definitely from me accidentally dragging my fingers across the tablet when i didnt mean to but like. its there! its finished! i did it!
idk. ive never had a piece ive ever wanted to hang on my own fridge before. :)
#disappears off tumblr for like two months#im alive i swear#my art#human tmnt#rottmnt#redraw#did the old one in early April of 2023 and this new version May 11th 2024#(and then promptly forgot to post it for like a month)#i genuinely didnt think my art had changed that much this past year#besides just getting more comfortable with the digital media#but im actually really really pleased and kinda proud with the improvements!#understanding values and composition esp#always struggled with having characters feel like they actually existed in the same space#and werent just stiff seperate drawings that happened to be next to each other#and color and lighting have always been enemy number one#still definitely cannot begin to say i 'understand' them#but im starting to be able to fake it better#:)
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Notice Me
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AN: We're going to pretend that Latto was the headliner on day one because SZA is the face claim lol
Synopsis: While at Gazebo Fest with your best friend, you happen to meet Jack, and the two of you quickly take to each other. Once you part ways, you are heavy on Jack’s mind, and he's determined to see you again
Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
“Why is it so got damn hot out here?!” Your best friend Kayla asked as she was digging through her clear backpack to find something to fan herself with.
“You do realize that it's the end of May and almost June, right?” You replied as you laughed at her and took a sip of water.
The two of you were in the VIP section of Gazebo Fest and couldn't wait to see all the different performances throughout the entire weekend, but you were most excited to see your celebrity crush for as long as you could remember, Jack Harlow.
You had gotten there two days before so that it could give you some time to explore Louisville before having to go to the festival. You and Kayla had gone to Churchill Downs, Morris Deli, and to see his Hometown Hero banner. Before the two of you went home, the goal was to hit up Barrels and Billets to make your own bourbon to take back home with you.
Glancing at the time, you quickly opened the Gazebo Fest app on your phone to see who would be performing next and got excited when you saw that it was Paris Texas. As you were sliding your phone in your back pocket, Kayla started hitting your arm repeatedly.
“Ow! What is your problem?!” You exclaimed while turning to look at her.
“I spy a mullet and that can only mean that it belongs to your man. Look to your left. Okay slowly turn and look. I see Clay too!”
Doing as you were told, you quickly saw him and you felt your heart skip a beat. Kayla liked Jack and his music, but she was more so here for Vince Staples as well as the younger Harlow.
“Maybe you'll get a marriage proposal before we leave on Monday.”
“Kayla, as much as I would like that… shut up.”
“Hey, stranger things have happened.” She replied while holding her hands up in defense.
Once Paris Texas set was over, the crowd dispersed and only a few of you were left at the barricade talking and mingling amongst each other when Kayla leaned over and whispered in your ear.
“I need to pee.”
“What the? Why are you whispering? Is that supposed to be a secret?”
“I don't want to go by myself and the girl next to me told me that she would save our spots.”
“Come on then.” You said as you went and grabbed her hand.
The two of you started walking to the VIP bathrooms when your breath hitched in your throat as you saw Jack was sitting in the driver's seat of a golf cart surrounded by people on his team.
“Sike! I don't have to pee, but go over to your man! He's looking at you and smiling!”
“Kayla…” You said through gritted teeth since you knew that she knew how shy you were.
All she did was slightly push you forward as Jack waved you over to come to him.
“Hey pretty girl, enjoying yourself so far?” Jack asked you as you had finally worked up the nerve to approach him. Your heart was racing a mile a minute.
“So far, I have no complaints so my answer is yes.” You responded while smiling.
Your only goal was not to look absolutely crazy in front of him. But you were going to kill Kayla later.
“Is it your first time here in Louisville?”
“No, I've been here before, but this is the first time that I actually got to explore the city. I was here for every NPLH you had.”
“Where are you from?”
“The DMV. Maryland specifically.”
“The D stands for Delaware right?” Jack curiously asked, but you immediately shook your head no.
“Do me a favor. When you go there again, do not let anyone hear you say that. It stands for D.C. Now Delmarva is Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia.” You answered while trying not to laugh.
“Then it's a good thing that I asked you, huh?”
“Yes, because somebody would have taken offense to that, believe it or not.”
“What song do you want to hear me do tomorrow?”
“I… How am I supposed to do just one?!”
“Fine. Give me your top five.”
“I need you to do every song you've ever recorded, but five does give me a little more wiggle room. Hmm, Heavy Hitter, Ghost, Sundown, Eastern Parkway, Dark Knight, and I NEED Smells Like Incense because you've never done that one live.”
“Oh, I got a day one in my presence. And that was six songs by the way.” He replied while giving you a boyish grin.
Jack was captivated the first time he laid his eyes on you earlier that afternoon from behind the Gazebo stage as he saw you and Kayla at barricade.
“I told you that it was hard for me to choose. You're lucky I didn't say Power Tools.”
“Damn, not you going back to The Handsome Harlow.”
“Have to admit it's one of my favorites.” You replied as you shrugged.
“I don't want to keep you from your friend all day, but I'll look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”
Hearing him say that made you feel as though you were going to burst from having so many butterflies.
“You won't have to look far either. I'll be barricade.”
The rest of the day you and Kayla made the most of it watching all of the performances, getting drinks, and taking pics with Urban as well as other members of Private Garden.
The next morning, both of you woke up when your alarm went off at 8 ready for the day ahead. Both of you started off with mimosas and quickly moved to taking a few shots before it was ultimately time to get ready.
What stopped you in your tracks was a notification on your Gazebo app saying that because of the weather, the doors wouldn't be opening at 1 and to stay close to your phone to keep up with the alerts.
“You can't be fucking serious. We need to get barricade!” You said as you ran to the window to look outside at the weather. For right now, the sky was simply cloudy and gloomy. Not a raindrop in sight.
“What's wrong?” Kayla asked as she opened a bag of doritos and began stuffing them in her mouth.
“The opening of the gates are delayed.” You replied as you rolled your eyes.
“Until when!?”
“I'm not sure, it didn't say. I guess they'll send out another update so we can know.”
Kayla then grabbed her phone to pull up the weather app and simply shook her head.
“Babe, I don't know. I think we just might be under a tornado warning.”
“A WHAT!? NO! WHY TODAY? CAN IT WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?” You exclaimed while running back towards the window.
“Apparently not.”
“Let's just pray that they don't cancel it. I know you have a date with your baby daddy later. I saw mine yesterday.”
“He is literally the entire reason I came this weekend and now that might be ruined.”
“Let's just try and stay positive. We don't even have a concrete answer yet. Things could always change. But let's get our outfits together so we can be ready.”
It was now around 4 PM on Sunday and Jack was stressed. He had put so much time and effort as well as money into this and all he wanted to do was bring a music festival back to his city while having some of his favorite artists perform. He was trying not to sulk, but it was looking more and more like day 2 of Gazebo Fest wasn't about to happen.
“At least we had a good first day. You can't be mad at yourself for that.” Urban said as he sat down next to him.
“I know. I just don't want to compromise anyone's safety. People are going to be pissed.”
“They'll be pissed but they'll be alive.” He heard Clay say as he walked into the room.
“Then I need to call it.”
After he posted to his Instagram story the sad news of it being canceled, his thoughts immediately went to you.
“SHIT!”
“What? What's wrong?” Both Clay and Urban asked as they looked at him.
“The girl I was talking to yesterday.”
“You talked to a lot of girls yesterday?” Clay responded, confused as to what he was getting at.
“Not as long as I did her! The one with the curly hair!”
“Oh in VIP?”
“Yeah, and I totally forgot to ask her what her name was. Fuck.”
“Yall got a date or something we don't know about?”
“I was going to ask her when I saw her today, but now that's damn near impossible.”
Now not only was day two not happening, but he wasn’t about to see you either, until an idea came to him.
“Do you two remember what she looks like?” He asked both Urban and Clay as they nodded their heads.
“Okay, this might be a long shot, but maybe we can find her on instagram?”
“What the? How the HELL are we supposed to do that?” Clay asked, looking at his older brother in disbelief.
“The gazebo tag.” Urban answered for him and Jack simply nodded.
“Let’s get to it then.”
The three of them had been searching for a total of two hours when Urban had finally found you. He took a quick screenshot of the picture that was posted on Kayla’s page and cropped it before handing his phone to Jack.
“Found her!”
“Let me see!”
As Urban was handing Jack his phone, it slipped out of his grasp onto the carpet below and Jack quickly dove for it, but it was too late. The screen had hit the home button on the app and everything had refreshed.
“You cannot be fucking serious! It refreshed your feed!”
“Wait, I got a screenshot!”
Urban quickly took his phone back and pulled it up in his gallery to show him as Clay was now looking over both of their shoulders to see what was happening.
“But you cropped it! It doesn’t have the username anymore!” Jack said before sighing and defeat was quickly washing over him.
“Hold on, now I have an idea.” Clay said while smirking.
Jack eyed him and motioned for him to continue.
“Post the screenshot and ask your followers on instagram to find her for you.”
You and Kayla had been in your hotel room sulking for hours at the fact that Gazebo day 2 had been canceled. So the two of you quickly decided to watch Jack’s interview along with WMCJ to pass the time, until Kayla screamed at the top of her lungs while looking down at her phone.
“BITCHHHHH!”
“Leave me to sulk in peace.” You replied while putting the comforter over your head.
“I don’t think you’ll be sulking too much longer. Jack is looking for you.”
“Excuse me?” Now this caught your attention and the comforter was now lying beside you as Kayla shoved her phone in your face as you saw his post on instagram.
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Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, gazebo, quiiso, taylorrooks, and 1,284,096 others
jackharlow: I need a favor. Someone find the girl on the left for me.
When you were done looking at it, you handed Kayla back her phone and laid back down.
“Bitch, what the fuck are you doing? Your HUSBAND is looking for you! Respond to this man!”
“But… I don’t know…” You said while playing with the ends of your curly hair.
“You don’t know what? He obviously wants to talk to you again so what’s the problem?”
“What if this isn’t even what we think it is?”
“Y/N, he made an instagram post asking millions of his followers to find you. I think he’s making it pretty clear that more than likely he wants to date you.”
“I… now I know your ass is delusional.” You said while looking at her and shaking your head.
“Well, what do YOU think the reason is? Because I KNOW my ass is right. Just respond and see what he says. It can’t hurt. You didn’t get to see him perform today so this is the next best thing. You have to learn to take chances and not be so scared all the time.”
You sat there contemplating what you were going to do when you noticed that Kayla was staring at you.
“What?”
“If you get to fuck Jack Harlow, I want a five page research paper with sources and a title page in APA format when we get back home.”
It had been around six in the evening when you had seen Jack’s post and still hadn’t thought of a way to creatively respond to it. It was now ten at night and you and Kayla were getting ready to go to an after party that Ace Pro was hosting not too far from where your hotel was when you had gotten the perfect idea once you were settled in Kayla’s car. You had quickly explained to her what the plan was and it seemed as if she was more excited than you were about you finally responding to him.
“I knew what I was doing when I picked out that outfit for you! He is bound to see you in this and rip it off the second that you two are in person.”
“KAYLA!”
“What?! Just telling the truth. Now pose so we can get a good one and post it.”
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Liked by mahkaylaaa, jackharlowsource, urbandjack26, gazebo, and 348 others
barricadebaddie: word on the street is that jackharlow is looking for me. Is that true?
Your location was set to Streets of Louisville and you were hoping that he would see it and respond.
You just hope that you didn’t take too long to answer him.
It took less than fifteen minutes for a notification to pop up on your phone saying that you had a new message on instagram.
1 New Message from jackharlow
“KAYLA HE SENT ME A MESSAGE!” The two of you had just pulled up to the club that the after party was going to take place in when your heart started beating a mile a minute once more.
“WELL OPEN IT!”
jackharlow
I meant what I said when I told you that I looked forward to seeing you today. I wanted to meet up with you tonight if you were up for it.
You
Of course I’m up for it
jackharlow
If you’re at Ace’s party I’m on my way there
You
See you when you get here
jackharlow
Then I was hoping we can go somewhere by ourselves
Your eyes went wide as you shoved your phone into Kayla’s hand who quickly took it and read the message.
“Oh yeah, yall fucking later. If you need condoms, I got you.”
“I swear I can’t take your ass anywhere.”
“Look, don’t get mad at me for being prepared.”
You
I’d like that and I’m definitely up for it
Jack had liked your message before you saw that he quickly followed you.
You and Kayla went inside and had gone all the way in the back in the far left corner as the two of you ordered drinks and simply waited for Jack to arrive. A lump felt as if it was growing in your throat that you quickly swallowed back down knowing that it was your nerves getting the best of you.
As shy of a personas you are, many times you thought about leaving and heading back to the hotel, but Kayla was right. You needed to stop being scared of your own shadow and live out of your comfort zone.
It was around 11:30 when a lot of commotion was happening near the entrance of the club, and that could only mean one thing.
Jack was finally here.
You quickly opened instagram to shoot him a message letting him know where you were and simply waited until he made his rounds as he was speaking to different people and also got into the DJ booth with Ace. When he finally glanced down at his phone, your guess was that he was reading your message and he quickly looked to his left and spotted you. A small grin came across his face as he slid his phone back into his pocket and made his way over to you.
“Have fun, I’m going to get another drink.” Kayla said as she saw Jack headed over towards you and quickly got up to make her way towards the bar before you could protest.
Once Jack had finally reached you, he leaned down to embrace you into a hug and he lightly pulled you into him, making you stand all the way up before leaning down and whispering in your ear.
“For a minute there, I thought you weren’t going to respond to me.”
“Hmm, I admit I was hesitant, but I figured why not? You obviously wanted to find me for a reason, so here I am.”
“When I see something I want, I’m persistent until I get it.” Jack replied as he played with the ends of your hair and you just knew for a fact that you were about to faint right then and there.
“And after all of that yesterday, I forgot to ask what your name was.”
“It’s Y/N.” You responded while laughing, having not even noticed that you never told him your name.
“Well, Y/N, you ready to get out of here?”
“On one condition.”
“And what’s that pretty girl?”
“A private show.”
“Hmm, of my songs or were you thinking about something else?” He asked as he leaned down to whisper in your ear once more, but this time kissed the shell of it.
“I’ll take both if you’re up for it.”
“It took me all damn day to find you, so I’m definitely up for it.”
#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow fanfiction#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow fluff#jackman thomas harlow
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Matt Smith x Reader
Matt and Reader have been together for a long time and it's time for Matt to take the plunge and ask Reader to marry him
Thank you for the request, anon! I’m rolling this into my ongoing Smith family series of ask’s. This can be read alone or as a prequel to my pregnancy surprise and announcement stories. I also hope you don’t mind this will contain some serious smut.
Tropes & topics: SMUT (oral sex [f&m receiving], dirty talk, impact play, rough, protected sex), lots of fluff before it descends into porn lol, mentions of marriage obvi
Word Count: 3.1K
Matt’s heart feels like it’s going to burst from his chest if he doesn’t throw it up first. You’re seemingly oblivious, happily digging into your dessert, taking in the stunning seaside view.
Your fifth anniversary had been mid-June, but his shooting schedule kept the celebration limited to you visiting him abroad and sharing room service. He knew you hadn’t minded, you’d said countless times that you just were happy to be celebrating together, but he wanted to acknowledge this milestone the right way.
This trip was the best way to celebrate that while also finally pushing him to gather the courage to ask you to marry him. As you enjoyed this final meal of the trip, a ring box has been buried in his pocket and his nerves have frayed. It’s not that he’s worried you’ll say no, he knows what you two have is forever, but it’s still such a monumental moment and he doesn't want to bungle it.
“Honey, dolphins!” Your excited gasp pulls him from his thoughts and while he glances to see the pod swimming just offshore, his gaze quickly returns to your face. Golden hour is almost here and the slowly setting sun makes your skin glow and reflects the joy in your eyes.
“There you have it, your favorite animal bidding you farewell” he replies and you nod, frowning slightly at the end of your getaway rapidly approaching.
“I’ve really had the best time” you say, finally pulling your eyes from the water.
“Me too, darling” he assures you, squeezing your hand as your server cleared the table. Matt pays the tab before standing, pulling you into his side as you two make your way out of the restaurant.
“Can we lay on the beach for a bit when we’re back at the house?” you request and he smiles, envisioning the scene he already has set up for you there.
“Of course, what a brilliant idea.”
A comfortable silence settles as you both take in the beauty around you on the brief walk back to the small beach house you’d rented for the last week. He follows you through the house, pausing as you both remove your shoes at the backdoor.
“Matty!” you gasp as he slides the glass doors open. “It’s beautiful, when did you do this?”
He grins, pleased at your excitement. He places a hand on your back to guide you through the sand before helping you sit on the large blanket he’s laid out for you both that’s surrounded by petals from your favorite flower. “I snuck out while you were getting ready before dinner. Now, champagne?” he asks, lifting the chilled bottle from the ice bucket holding down a corner.
“Yes, please!” you reply eagerly, holding out a glass. He fills it and his own before holding his flute up for the toast he’s prepared.
“My love” he begins, surprised by the emotion clogging his throat. He takes a moment to collect himself and you squeeze his hand encouragingly. “First and foremost, I want to thank you for the last five years. They’ve been the most joyous, love-filled ones of my life. I can hardly believe it’s been half a decade yet at the same time, it’s difficult to remember life without you being by my side. You’re my rock, my biggest cheerleader, and most importantly, my best friend. You’re the love of my life, darling.”
He places his glass carefully in the sand before shifting onto one knee, his shaking hands removing the ring box from his pocket, opening it to reveal the ring he’d spent countless months searching for, “Would you do me the honor of sharing the rest of our lives together as husband and wife?”
“Yes, yes, of course! Oh my god” you burst out, holding out your hand for him to slide the ring on. He grins at the sight, dropping his lips to place a long kiss to the spot where the diamonds meet your soft skin. “Oh honey, it’s perfect, I love it. I love you so fucking much. That’s far less elegant than your speech but it’s true nonetheless. I’m so lucky you’re mine.”
“I had more time to prepare” he laughs and you roll your eyes before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you flush to him. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in the familiar, comforting scent of your skin mixed with the salty sea breeze. You stay like that a moment before he pulls away to look into your eyes.
“My beautiful boy,” you whisper, tracing his jawline with your fingers. He leans down, connecting your lips just as the sun slides beneath the ocean. Your hands quickly tangle in his hair and he gently pushes you onto your back, settling on top of you. His hands find the hem of your dress, fingers lightly brushing where your skin meets the fabric.
He loses himself in the feel of your soft, pliant body beneath him as you greedily suck his tongue into your mouth. He feels himself beginning to harden as you moan, your hands shifting from his hair down to his backside, pulling his hips against yours. He gasps at the friction, desperate for more, pleased to feel you bucking beneath him already. “So impatient” he teases, placing kisses down your neck, leaving small bruises as he goes.
“You're one to talk” you reply, grinding your leg into his erection, drawing a groan from him. “As hot as this would be in theory, can we move this inside? I’d rather not be finding sand in different crevices for the next week.”
He laughs deeply, carefully standing before offering you his hand to draw you up, as well. You lose your footing in the sand and he quickly scoops you into his arms, carrying you bridal style up the beach. “I thought this would wait until the wedding night?” you tease and he nips playfully at your shoulder.
“I’ll put you down if you’d like” he retorts and you tighten your grip on his shoulders, shaking your head. He goes to place you on the bed but you insist on being set on your feet. “Lay down” you command and he tilts his head, curious as to what you have planned for him, but eagerly doing as directed.
Once he’s settled, leaning back on his elbows, you slowly reach around to unzip your dress. “I have a confession to make.”
“Oh?”
“Billy brought me the ring box a month ago.”
“He didn’t” Matt replies, jaw dropping at the thought of your dog eagerly delivering this gift to you. “What a rascal, he ruined the surprise!”
“He did,” you agree, laughing. “But that let me plan a little surprise of my own.”
“Well go on then” he smirks, watching as your dress pools around your feet. “Good god, love” he bites out, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of you.
“Do you like it?” you ask cheekily, making your way tantalizingly slowly to him.
“I fucking love it” he breathes out. Your legs are covered in lacy black stockings attached to a garter secured above your sheer black panties. Your torso’s wrapped in a black leather corset and he’s struggling to keep his hands to himself as you crawl up the bed to him. “You remembered.”
“Your obsession with garters even though they’re an absolute pain in the ass to get on? Yes, I remembered” you joke and he chuckles at the mischief in your eyes.
“My sexy fiancée” he breathes out as you hover above him and grin at the compliment before slowly unbuttoning his shirt, kissing each inch of newly exposed skin. He watches impatiently as you slowly unbuckle his belt, tauntingly taking your time removing it from around his hips. “Be careful, I may have to use that if you tease me much longer.”
“If only I’d be so lucky” you reply, pointedly leaving it on the pillow beside his bed before making quick work of the rest of his clothes. “You’re so hard for me and I haven’t even done anything yet” you goad, wrapping your hand around his already throbbing cock, causing him to throw his head back in pleasure.
“Look at me, Matthew” you demand and his head whips back up at the command in your tone. “Much better” you praise, dipping your head down to lick a stripe from the base of his cock to his tip, eyes boring into his the entire time.
“Fuck” he breaths out, wrapping a fistful of your hair around his hand before resting it on the back of your head. “More, please.”
“Since you asked so politely” you agree, immediately taking all of him into your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat as your lips wrap around the base of his dick.
“Holy shit, Y/N” he gasps, hips desperate to buck but not wanting to hurt you. You painstakingly pull back after a few minutes of working him with your mouth, pumping him with your hand as you smirk up at him.
“Do you want to fuck my face, Matty?” you offer and he feels his eyes widen.
“Are you sure…?”
Your only response is to move off the bed and drop to your knees, hands behind your back. He eagerly stands beside you, hands tangling in your hair as you wrap your mouth around him again. He slowly sinks into your mouth, making sure you’re ready before he begins thrusting deep into your throat. “Holy shit, love” he groans, throwing his head back briefly, before gazing down to meet your glossy eyes. Slight movement catches his eyes and he watches as your fingers dip into your underwear, fingers circling your clit in time with each of his thrusts.
Several moments later he feels you pull back slightly and he releases his grip, removing himself from your mouth so you can catch your breath. “Are you okay?” he asks and you nod eagerly, excess spit dripping down your chin. “Jesus Christ, get on the bed” he commands and you smirk, slowly rising to your feet.
“How do you want me, love?”
“On your back, so I can devour you” he replies and you quickly scramble onto the bed, sliding off your panties as you go. “That’s a good girl” he praises once you’re settled, thighs spread wide, pussy already glistening for him.
He places a sloppy kiss to your mouth as he removes your corset, leaving you entirely bare before him except for your garter belt which he has every intention of leaving on. “Beautiful” he breathes out, pulling a nipple into his mouth while he teases the other in his hand. He’s rewarded with your back arching up to meet him.
“Lower, please, Matt” you beg and he smirks, nibbling gently on your breast before settling between your thighs. He traces your hips with his fingers, placing brief kisses to your inner thighs, inching up closer to your core. You’d complain about his teasing but he wanted you desperate for him before he even really began. He shifted his hands to your thighs, tracing circles along them while kissing your hip bones, eyes rising to look up at you.
“Please” you gasp, hips bucking up, before he forcefully pins you back down to the bed.
“Do you want me to make you feel good, love?” he asks and you nod eagerly, your chest rising and falling rapidly. “Then be patient.”
You nod again, dropping your head onto the pillow, seemingly trying to get your breathing under control. Just as he feels your body untense below him, he licks a teasing stripe up your center drawing a loud moan from your mouth. He places a hand flat against your belly ensuring you can’t squirm or buck beneath him as he begins working you with his tongue.
As desperately as he wants to be buried inside you, he can’t stop himself from devouring you until you’re panting above him, hands wrapped painfully tight in his hair. His mouth is suctioned around your clit when you breath out, “Matt, fuck, I’m going to cum” and he immediately plunges two fingers inside you, drawing a frantic gasp from your throat as your back arches off the bed. Two pumps later he feels your walls tighten around his fingers as you call out his name, wrapping your thighs around his head as pleasure wracks your body. He gently works you through your orgasm until your twitches settle down and your legs loosen from around his neck. He smirks up at you, licking his lips, and you bite your own at the sight.
“You look so sexy with my cum all over your mouth” you admit, drawing him up so you can taste yourself on his tongue. He opens the nightstand drawer to grab a condom, rolling it onto himself before pulling away from you.
“Get on your knees” he orders and you eagerly flip over, ass in the air. “What a good girl you are for me, so eager to please.”
“Always” you agree, spreading yourself open for him and he groans at the sight.
He lines himself up with your entrance, “Ready, love?” he asks and in response, you sink yourself back onto him. “Jesus” he grounds out, the sensation of being fully buried in you so quickly overwhelming him for a moment.
“Is it too much darling?” you ask, teasingly wiggling your hips back and forth. He shakes his head at you before reaching beside your head to grab his discarded belt.
“Is this what you want?” he asks and you lick your lips, nodding enthusiastically. He wraps the leather around his hand before bringing it down sharply on your ass, drawing a gasp from your mouth. “Is it too much darling?”
“No, more please” you beg and he obliges, bringing the belt down on your other cheek. “Yes, Matt, fuck me now.”
“Such a slut for me” he taunts, driving into you roughly.
“Yes, yes, I’m your little whore” you gasp out and he rewards you with another slap of the belt against your backside.
“Fuck” he mutters, overwhelmed at the sight of you bent before him, ass cheeks red, makeup smeared, mouth open wide in pleasure. “You look so sexy right now.”
You simply whine, driving your hips back, silently demanding more. He tosses the belt aside so he can focus, gripping your hips and pressing your back down more so he can fuck you deeper, setting a ruthless pace.
“Yes, yes just like that” you gasp, hands wrapped tightly around the sheets beneath you.
“Tell me what you want, love” he breathes out shakily. But all you can do is pant for air, your breathing mixed with moans and curses. He feels you tightening around him again and he wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you up so your back is flush to his chest. “Use your words, darling.”
“You’re fucking me so good Matt” you whine, your hand dipping between your thighs to rub your clit as you look back at him. “Please make me cum again” you whimper, the tempo of your fingers increasing as you squeeze around him even more intensely.
“Come on baby, let me have it. I can feel how close you are” he encourages and you whimper, your eyes turning glossy but never leaving his. Your lower lip quivers as your orgasm tears through you, your pussy clamping and twitching around his cock as you whine and moan beneath him. “There you go, I’ve got you, love” he assures, gently releasing you so you can rest your forehead against the pillow. He gently rocks into you until you stop pulsing around him, placing kisses to your shoulder blades.
“Let me flip over, I want to watch you cum for me” you request and he pulls out just long enough for you to resettle on your back before reconnecting your bodies. As his pace picks up again you pull him down to you, placing a deep kiss to his mouth as you wrap your legs around his back. His mind goes pleasantly blank as he loses himself in the pleasure your body gives him.
“Can you feel how soaked you made me?” you whisper and he groans, dropping his forehead to your shoulders and nodding, words beyond him now. “I want you to cum inside me, baby, please. I want to watch you come undone for me.”
“I’m so fucking close” he gets out and you tug at his hair lightly, making him gasp in pleasure.
“I know, baby, I know. My cunt’s squeezing you so tight, isn’t it? Show me how good I’m making you feel” you taunt, hands dropping down to squeeze his balls softly. His vision goes white as his orgasm shoots through him, frantically burying himself inside you as wave after wave of pleasure coarse through him. “There you go, I’ve got you, my love” you whisper, running your hands over his back as he catches his breath.
You two stay wrapped together for several moments longer, neither of you wanting to separate, both of you soaking in the afterglow. Eventually he lifts his head from your chest placing a gentle kiss to your mouth before slowly pulling out. You hiss at the loss of him and he agrees softly, already missing the intimacy of your joined bodies. He rises to clean himself up before returning with a warm, damp cloth.
“Holy shit babe” he chuckles, gently wiping between your legs, shocked at how much of your pleasure is still leaking from you.
“I’m not exaggerating when I say that was the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had” you laugh, removing your makeup with the wipe he’d brought out for you so you didn’t have to get up.
“I can tell” he grins and you roll your eyes.
“No need to look so fucking smug, Matthew.”
“What?” he laughs, tossing the cloth in the tub before sliding the quilt down, tucking you underneath before settling behind you. “Can’t I be happy I made my fiancée feel incredible?”
“Sure, I bet that’s all it is. No ego swelling involved” you grumble and he pulls you flat against him. He opens his mouth to make a dirty joke but you cut him off with a quick, “Don’t you dare.”
He laughs again, joy filling his chest to the brim as he places a kiss to the back of your neck before settling onto his pillow.
“I love you so much, darling” he whispers a few moments later, your breathing already evening out as sleep approaches.
“And I love you” you reply, squeezing his hand. “I can’t wait to be your wife.” He feels a small smile pull on his lips at the thought before sleep drags him under.
taglist @littlehorrorlover @slayraxes-blogs @decaffeinatedparadisepost
#matt smith#matt smith imagine#matt smith x reader#matt smith smut#matt smith fanfiction#matt smith fic#asked and answered!
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hello my beloved writer <3 can I ask for a Gun oneshot in which we wear his perfume but he owns so many bottles that he don't actually remember that's his so he thinks that the scent belongs to someone else lol. the story goes after will be decided by you hehe <3 thank you <3
A Certain Scent
“just whose perfume am I smelling?”
summary: You had just finished getting ready for your date with your boyfriend, when he suddenly questions the perfume you had on you. He thinks it’s some other guy’s until you clear it up and you two go on your date, with him still thinking that you’re upset with him for suspecting you of cheating. But you really aren’t and you two eventually cuddle together in bed to end the day.
character(s) included: Park Jonggun x fem!reader
cw: established relationship, teasing, hints of jealous gun, kissing, soft, fluff, petnames / couple names (idk what they’re even called), cuddling, like all of my works— not proofread
unwrapped on: Sunday Midnight, June 9 2024
wrapped up on: Saturday Night, June 15 2024
published on: Saturday Night, June 15 2024 (at around 10 pm)
“Alright, I’ve finished getting ready! How do I look?” You announced as you walked into the living of room of your shared apartment.
Your boyfriend, Gun, was stood at the wall leading to the doorway, dressed in semi formal attire for your guys’ date that evening.
“I’ve told you before that no words can describe you, didn’t I?” He replied, tilting his head to the side while his eyes were wandering across your body.
“That’s corny but then again, I asked.” You scoffed at him while walking closer and closer to where he was stood at.
He only laughed at your response and pulled you in closer for a kiss. The kiss went on for a few good seconds until you broke it since you noticed that Gun didn’t seem intent on stopping there.
“Save that for later, we haven’t even left the building yet,” you scoffed at him yet again, earning another laugh from him.
He held your hand and just as you two were about to exit the room, he froze. His grasp on your hand became tighter.
He looked over to you, “baby?” to which you replied with a hum and he added, “just whose perfume am I smelling?”
You rose an eyebrow at the sudden interrogation, “huh—? What do you mean?” You said as you tilted your head to the side, visibly confused.
“What do I mean?” He scoffed, “that perfume you’ve got on is obviously a man’s. Who were you with before I arrived?” He said, with a more demanding tone.
“Gun..” You said, “are you serious or..?” You were skeptical with his sudden change in demeanor and tone, did he seriously not realize that the perfume you’ve got on was his own?
Gun obviously heard you but didn’t respond, he only looked at you and he hasn’t looked away since.
“It’s yours, you idiot.” You audibly sighed at him.
“Wha-? No it’s not,” he replied, seemingly growing confused as well.
“Yeah, it is! Let go of my hand and I’ll prove it to you.”
“Fine,” he finally let go of your hand and you walked back to your guys’ shared bedroom, where all of your stuff including makeup, perfumes, and accessories were at.
You opened one of the drawers to your vanity, revealing an extensive collection of luxury perfumes, many of which were your boyfriend’s. You took out the one you had just used and walked back to where Gun was stood at, only for him to look even more confused.
“Does this seem familiar to you?” You opened it up and sprayed it in his face from a safe distance where he can still smell the scent.
He took a few seconds to analyze what you just sprayed, only to realize that the scent was in fact from his perfume.
—…
“Well— Is that really mine though? I have so many bottles that I don’t know whether or not I own that. And plus.. What if some guy just left that here?”
“Gun. You bought this when we were on vacation in Japan, you even specifically told me that you like smelling your scent on me so you sprayed on me as well.”
Gun paused. He started thinking about that vacation you guys had and suddenly, that exact moment that you were telling him about started flashing in his mind. You could see his eyebrows rise slightly, signifying that he’s finally come to realize what you’re talking about.
“Fine fine. I’m sorry that I thought you were wearing some other guy’s perfume..”
You only pouted at him so he gave you a kiss on the forehead.
“If you forgive me now, I’ll kiss you on the lips instead.” He offered.
“Deal! I forgive you for basically accusing me of cheating!” You said, adding sarcasm towards the end.
He scoffed at your quick change in mood and gave you another kiss on the lips.
You returned the perfume from where you first got it and once you got back to Gun, he held your hand again but in a more gentle way. Then you two finally went on your awaited date.
“Don’t tell me…” Gun said after he took a sip of the drink he ordered at the restaurant you two were at. “You’re still upset at me?” He added.
“Hmph.” You only mumbled as you were chewing on the food that came from Gun, right after he spoon fed you the last of his food as you had just finished up with your plate.
Gun sighed, somehow seemingly amused too. He then spotted a waiter and asked for the bill, turning to you while the waiter left to fetch the bill.
“How can I make it up to you?” He asked with a smirk on his face, confident in his abilities to be fully forgiven.
“You wanna go shopping before we head back? Name any shopping mall you’d like to go and I’ll get you whatever you want there. How’s that sound, you little baby?” He added as he slipped in some teasing at the end.
“No, Gun.. You can’t just buy your way into forgiveness y’know,” you scoffed at him and you finished up what was left of your drink. He subtly pouted, his smirk faded as his confidence in getting you to forgive him went down.
The waiter arrived with the bill and without even taking the time to read through the receipt, Gun put his card in and the waiter took it away.
The waiter eventually came back with his card and you two stood up to leave, making your way back to the car.
“You sure you don’t wanna go shopping?” Gun asked as he opened the car door for you and you settled into the passenger seat.
You nodded in response and Gun shut your door, making his way to the other side and settling into the drivers seat.
You put the topic aside and chatted with him all throughout the way back to your guys’ shared apartment. And you two finally arrived back at the doorstep with Gun seemingly distracted.
“What’s on your mind, honey?” You asked Gun while he was removing his shoes and setting his coat aside.
“You, just as always.” He teased.
“Corny as hell, again, but then againnnn, I asked…” You replied and added, “no but what is it really?”
You were looking at Gun, whose coat was now removed and all of the buttons of his top were now undone— revealing his body.
But you weren’t looking at any of that , you were just maintaining eye contact and looking at him oh, so sweetly. He smiled at you genuinely, a sight that not many see right in front of them.
“M’pretty sure you’re still upset with me, and I don’t know how to fix it.” He blurted out as he successfully finished removing his top.
“You’re such a baby, I was barely upset to begin with.” You reassured him with a kiss on the cheek and left to take a shower so you could get into bed.
After your shower, you walked into your guys’ shared bedroom, only to see Gun on the bed. He’s already taken a shower as well and as per usual, he’s shirtless with some pajamas you bought him. You giggled, thinking how he’s actually wearing them and made your way onto the bed.
He put aside whatever he was just doing to cuddle you, completely sinking into you with all his weight. Which is why you had to shoo him off you to get some air. He pouted at the sudden kick out but was all happy again when you got on top of him to cuddle. You already were so exhausted, so in no time you felt like you were drifting away as your head laid in the crook of his neck.
Gun whispered, “I love you so much,” and he badly hopes that you heard him despite being seemingly asleep. Which you did, but instead of saying it back, you lifted your head and kissed him.
Then you sunk your head back into the crook of his neck, while he stroked your hair gently until you fell asleep.
notes: ik none of my works are proofread but this one really isnt as i worked on it during unholy hours and i might’ve been half asleep while writing some parts.. 🫠
so im very sorry for any grammatical and spelling errors but I hope that it’s still understandable 😭
I swear this would’ve been done much sooner but I really wasn’t sure what to do after the like main request about the perfume 😭
Anyways, tysm to the anon who requested this!! 💗💗 I hope it’s not too bad
- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as vour own
I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs
Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for a request, and l'II be doing more characters in lookism so feel free to request but please read my pinned post !!
#lookism#webtoon#lookism fandom#lookism fic#lookism imagines#unreleasedwrites#park jonggun#jonggun park x femreader#jonggun park lookism#lookism park jonggun#park jonggun x reader#jonggun park#fluff#lookism x reader
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wherever you are right now, good morning/evening/night… that was a mouthful, but i’m not sure how else to start this.
it sounds serious, i know, it’s not, don’t worry, but i like being dramatic, haha, you know me ;) i have a small announcement to make — i say ‘small’ ‘cause it really can be done in one or two short sentences, but i’d like to give you some context and reasoning because i care about every single one of you reading this, all 470 of you, and i’d hate to leave you without an explanation.
i’m mainly addressing my LL (liar, liar) readers, ‘cause i seem to have a big following and a large number of people who interact with me because of that piece of work, but this also goes out to the very few people (and i’m not being dramatic when i say very few people, lol) who are loyal readers of SOANO (start of a new obsession).
i am going on hiatus.
yeah, i know, boo, tomatoes, the story was just getting started 😠 , etc, etc.
and i apologise.
genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, i’m truly, deeply sorry.
you’ve been forced to tolerate my extremely sporadic updates that were only just starting to get better (some updates would come weekly, whereas others would take two more weeks, but never an entire month like before). i really am sorry. i know what it feels like to enjoy a story and then be left on a cliffhanger (of sorts?) when the author goes on a hiatus — mini or not.
i think this long message will answer most of the questions you have in mind, the first being ‘how long will you be on hiatus for?’. and i do have a straight answer for that:
five months.
i know, it’s a lot. again, i apologise. i can’t apologise enough, but let’s keep the questions going.
the one i know you’re all wondering — why am i going on hiatus in the first place?
just to be clear (for those of you who have genuinely become close friends with me through interactions) i’m alive, healthy, and well! i’m not falling out of love with writing, i’ve not fallen out of love with LL or SOANO (no matter how slow the updates for the latter seems to be) and i’m not feeling pressured by writing either of these stories for you all!
the reason is quite simple… school :/ exams. MAJOR ones.
when i started writing SOANO, i was around 15 years old (give or take a few?) and i had no major exams at all to focus on. halfway through writing SOANO, i was met with my first set of important exams at 16. for those of you who are not british and/or not aware of the uk education system, GCSE’s are the exams that dictate which sixth-form college you go to. college, as in, not university-college, but the last two years of high school (junior + senior year) that are the only two years of sixthform/college.
when i started writing LL, i was in my first year of college at 17 (this time last year), and so the only ‘major’ exams i had were mock exams that would prep me for my university predicted-grades. i am now in my second (and final) year of college, and the exams during may and june will dictate the rest of my life. that includes which uni i go to, whether i’ll even go to uni at all, what course i’ll take at uni if i do end up going, etc.
you get the idea. these are important exams. the most important ones that i’ll ever have to sit this year, and starting tomorrow, i have 130 days to turn my very-average-grades around to three A’s (or perhaps two A’s and a B) to get into my desired uni.
unfortunately, i can’t do that if i spend most of my time writing up very lengthy chapters for you.
why can’t i split my time accordingly, even if it means going back to the once-a-month updates? because i am so incredibly, stupidly behind on content for the courses i’m taking right now that i can’t even afford to waste 30 minutes on doing anything other than praying and studying. that’s just the sad truth of it.
again, i’d like to apologise for the inconvenience. i’ve received so many lovely dm’s from so many of you (and i answer every single one, you know that) and in the conversations that many of us have had together, a lot of you use the story (LL) as a safe haven, an escape from your own messy school lives, almost in the same way that i use it to escape my messy school life. some of you have mentioned that you pull all-nighters simply to reread it all as if you’re reading it for the first time. a few of you have mentioned how this story was an escape from the tragic events of canon, which was exactly what i intended for it to be like during the planning process, and i’m still so overwhelmed and flattered by the growing love i’ve received from both old and new LL readers.
will the story be temporarily taken down?
absolutely not.
i considered it for a time, but after acknowledging those comments i mentioned above, i decided that what’s left of LL right now (170k+ words divided in 10 chapters) can still be a safe haven for you whenever you need it. i also knew that i wanted everything to look the same for when i’d return in late-june of this year. leaving it up would also mean that newer readers (future readers) would join the family too, and we love a full house ;)
will i still be active on tumblr during the hiatus?
yes! maybe not as frequently as before (like answering messages in my inbox every day) but i’ll definitely be active enough to get through any messages, comments, asks, etc, within the span of a week for sure. you can still tell me about your shitty day in my inbox, you can still vent to me about an encounter with a guy you hate in my dm’s, and you can definitely still send in silly things about LL or SOANO. i’ll still be active, it’ll be like i never left, only, without the fortnite-ly (not a word, i’m well aware) updates.
LL’s one year anniversary is coming up in a couple of days, and i wanted to release a new chapter in time for it, but looking at my exams and how much cramming i’m already going to have to do for it without writing on top of that… i reluctantly acknowledged that it just won’t be possible.
i think i’ve addressed everything… this is a little awkward now, lol.
once again, i apologise for any hurt or inconveniences i might’ve caused, but i myself don’t enjoy the idea of not writing for 5 months any better than you probably do. 0-0 i enjoy writing, it never felt like a chore to me, and i’m going to miss it during the next 5 months that i’ll be spending alone, grinding overtime like hermione granger…
please wait for me, my little liars <3
love, mother hen sumaya
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Hello, Gallavich fandom!
I'm organizing the calendar of events for next year and I'd like to get some input from you all before finalizing it. Please check my questions at the end.
Here's a rough draft:
January - Guessing for the Masquerade taking place up to the 31st
Mid-February - Appreciation week / Lovefest (The idea is having an event to talk about everyone's favorite Gallavich related things, including fandom stuff. From favorite episode to favorite fanart, for example. So kind of a mix between the appreciation week and the Lovefest, two events we've had in the past.)
Late February - Sign-ups for the gift exchange start
Early March - Sign-ups close and prompts are chosen
Late April - gift exchange postings
Mid-May - Gallavich Week themes revealed
Mid-June - Gallavich week
July - Summer Camp event is coming back! (Not hosted by this blog though, just adding it to the calendar to avoid overlapping the events)
August - A.U.gust
September - Reverse Big Bang posting (again, not hosted here)
October - Kinktober
November (mid to last week) - Masquerade opens
End of December - Masquerade posting
Now, here are my questions:
1) I've seen some people posting secret Santa gifts recently. I moved the gift exchange in favor of the Masquerade and also so it wouldn't be yet another gift exchange for those of us who participate on several fandoms. So the gift exchange is (was?) scheduled for next year. But now I'm wondering if you even want another one? I don't know if the one that just happened was open to anyone in the fandom or if it was a closed community, I literally just found out about it when people started posting, but if it was for everyone, are there enough people who didn't participate or that would like to do another one so soon? Would you prefer to maybe cancel it or postpone it? Or have another event instead?
2) On a similar note, I know everyone's always excited about A.U.gust and Kinktober, but those events can also be moved around a bit if it would help. Would you prefer to have the Kinktober in March instead, for instance? (with another name, or course lol). Basically, the AUs event and the smut event can be moved to different dates, it's what I'm saying. I think it would be nice not only to have some variety, but also so that they're not alongside similar events for other fandoms (the Kinktober especially, not to mention there's also Inktober for fanartists and other stuff). Plus, it gives us more varied content throughout the year. We only have to be careful not to overlap with the events being done by other blogs.
3) Are there any other events you'd like to see that I haven't mentioned? Or any events you're tired of that you think could be swapped or maybe shortened? Feel free to send me suggestions. I promise to take everything into consideration.
That's all for now. Thank you to everyone who read it this far and especially to those who are going to give me an answer. 💞
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I've Been Getting Lost in Translation (Part Two)
(these kits are god awful but you didn't hear that from me)
stina blackstenius x reader; part one can be found here
Summary: You finally get to meet your girlfriend’s parents, but you aren’t sure they’re aware the two of you are more than just friends.
A/N: Here's part two finally! I hope it's worth the wait for you all lol, make sure you read the first part as well as that author's note for clarity! As usual, nothing I write is intended to speculate or infringe upon player's personal lives, it's all 100% fiction and done in good fun.
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings⚠️: very very slight mentions of anxiety and self-harm behaviors, but it really isn't featured here more than a passing mention
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You could feel Stina's eyes on you as you came down the stairs and joined the group in getting ready to go, you felt them on you in the car, and once you got to the skating rink. She never seemed to not be looking at you, sending worried little glances your way that you just couldn't interact with right now if you wanted to keep it together.
"Here are Linnéa's extra skates." Stina's mom held out a pair of ice skates for you to grab. "I'm not sure they'll fit, but Stina said you were around the same size as her sister… otherwise you can rent a pair here."
She gave you a warm smile and left you to try them on, already lacing up her own and taking off on the ice.
It was a beautiful day, sunny and cold with a thick layer of snow on the ground from a couple of days ago. And the rink was amazing. It was well maintained, but still had the feeling of a pond you'd have skated on as a child.
Stina's sister came to sit down next to you, explaining some of the quirks with the skates. You had to pull the laces hard to get them to fit in the clasps at the top before you could tie them, she showed you, yanking on your ankle a little roughly for your liking.
"Linnéa, be careful with her foot!" You heard Stina call from the ice.
Linnéa waved her off, turning to you.
"Does it hurt?"
You shook your head.
"That ankle is just a bit sensitive. I broke it in June."
"Well the laces being tight will make sure that doesn't happen again," she laughed, then glanced to make sure Stina wasn't looking at you two and said something lowly to you. "How is she doing in London? I mean she says everything is going well, but it's hard to know when we're not there to see her."
You smiled, genuinely for the first time in hours.
"She's doing great. Everyone loves her, she's been playing fantastic this season, she gets along well with the coach and the players. I really don't think there's anything for you to worry about."
"It's good that she has you and Amanda there. She seems reserved but without a few good people around her I know she gets lonely."
"What are you two slow pokes waiting for?" Stina's father skated by, gesturing for you to come on.
Linnéa followed him, starting a conversation with him in Swedish you could hardly grasp onto. How this family managed to speak so quickly, you were lost on.
You joined the rest of them on the ice, trying to ignore your poor mood from earlier. Moping around was no way to make a first impression. So you tried to suck it up and let the joy of the moment overtake you. You hadn't skated in years, having played in Italy for a bit before moving to London. There never seemed to be enough time, or good rinks close by. And when you were back in Germany you mostly wanted to see your family and Laura.
You ended up skating with Stina’s nephew, a boy around seven. He was already impressively steady on his skates, something you would not have been able to say at his age. But still, he held your hand and talked your ear off in Swedish you only partially understood.
"Did you come with aunt Stina?" He asked, to which you nodded.
"We play for the same football team in England." You explained in your slow Swedish.
"Did you come here on a plane?" You nodded again, smiling.
"We flew here yesterday, from London."
The boy considered you for a moment.
"You speak funny," he proclaimed, letting go of your hand, "watch what I can do!"
And with that he skated in front of you, circling around you playfully as you stood still. You grinned at him, giving a round of applause when he was done.
“Hey,” you heard Stina come up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder as to not startle you.
You gave her a smile which she softly returned.
“What are you two up to?”
“He’s showing me his incredible skating skills,” You replied.
Stina’s nephew nodded and twirled around again, clearly looking for more praise.
Stina cheered him on, catching one of his hands and spinning him once more.
“Very impressive,” she praised, “Unfortunately we’ve got to go eat some lunch. It’s getting dark out.”
You looked up at the sky, having not realized that she was right, the sun was setting already. You checked your phone and saw it was barely one pm.
Stina’s nephew nodded and shot forward ahead of you two, rushing back to where his parents were.
“How are you doing?” Stina asked.
You could tell she was still unsettled by what had happened earlier in the bathroom by how careful she was with you, how she treated each interaction tentatively. You felt badly for making her worry, for turning this visit with her family into yet another stressful situation rather than the relaxing break you both needed.
“I’m doing all right.” You gave the hand on your shoulder a squeeze and started to skate in the direction of the exit, a little further away from her than you would normally.
You felt the distance seemingly in every stride you took, agonizing over your choice to move further from her. You were upset by the lack of any physical affection, and yet here you were removing even the chance that she might initiate it. It was self sabotage, you knew. Yet it was still difficult not to indulge in it. Whether she felt the distance as much as you did, you couldn’t know.
“Why does Aunt Stina’s friend speak so funny?” You heard Stina’s nephew ask his mother, to which you couldn’t help but chuckle as she scolded him lightly.
“She’s still learning Swedish, baby, she’s from Germany.”
“You’re from Germany?” The boy asked you once you were in front of him, skates in hand. He said it as if it were some far away land, not in the same continent.
You nodded and ruffled his hair a bit, giving him a smile. You sat down on the bench, unlacing your skates and indulging the boy as he asked you several questions about Germany and what it was like there. You noticed Stina had a firm watch on you as you started to take your left skate off—the one that Linnéa had tugged on. It was aching a bit, that was true. But you simply massaged it for a moment and stood up like you couldn't feel a thing.
“Thanks again for lending me the skates,” You said to Stina’s mother, giving them back carefully.
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The eight of you decided to eat at a small restaurant not far from the rink. Sunset was already in full force, vibrant orange and pink staining the sky around you.
Stina had borrowed her sister's car that morning, preferring not to be squished in the back seat all day. The drive over gave you a bit of privacy, which you spent in relative quiet, Stina's playlist playing softly through the car speakers. Her hand was on your thigh innocently, and every once in a while she glanced over. Maybe she expected you to say something. But you knew if you started now, you wouldn't be able to stop.
You were thankful for your sturdy sneakers as you stepped out of the car, a twinge in your ankle rippling up your leg. It was more sore than you would've expected, but nothing you were overly worried about. The doctor had warned you that some days might give you more trouble than others, and that was normal. You would just have to take care to ice it this evening before you went to bed.
And by the looks of it, Stina would be making sure you did anyway.
She was robbed of her chance to ask if it was bothering you by her nephew, who seemed to have taken a real liking to you. He came barreling at you, arms open for you to lift him up. You weren't all that tall, and he certainly had inherited his family's height, so lifting him was a bit complicated. Eventually the two of you decided on a piggy back after some awkward maneuvering.
"He likes you," Stina's brother commented, tickling his son lightly. "He's normally quite reserved around new adults."
You smiled at him, feeling your heart soar. This, this was what you wanted from the trip. You wanted Stina's family to love you, for her not to have to worry about you fitting in or being accepted.
"She's going to sit next to me!" The boy announced once the waiter had shown you to your booth.
"Do I need to be worried?" Stina joked, to which her nephew stuck out his tongue.
She returned the favor playfully.
"No need to fight, there's plenty of me to go around."
The booth wasn't all that big, which was how you explained Stina's closeness. Most of your right side was pressed right up against hers, something you initially tried to rectify, only to receive a strange look from her. You cursed yourself for how unsure you were being. You'd spent months like this before the two of you had started dating and it nearly drove you (and your teammates) crazy.
You let Stina order for you since she had been here before and she knew what you liked. The tiredness was beginning to hit you. It was dark outside now, and between skating for a few hours, entertaining a seven year old, and worrying over your relationship, you'd had quite the day. Thankfully you had ibuprofen in your bag in case of one of your headaches.
Whatever Stina had ordered you looked delicious when it came out. You dug in, realizing then how hungry you were. Usually you had a snack in between breakfast and lunch particularly on training days.
You were surprised to feel a hand on your knee a little while later. You were listening to a story her nephew was intently explaining to you as he colored in one of the books his mother brought for him, and suddenly it was there. It was something so completely normal you couldn't believe how much it shocked you. If anything, that was proof of how much you had gotten in your own head. Back home it would be impossible to imagine sitting next to Stina without her hand resting lightly on you somewhere. It helped ground her, she said.
But now, your thoughts were racing with every move she made. Stina's fingers drummed absentmindedly on your thigh, the rhythm of them distracting you slightly from her nephew. She didn't usually tap unless she was feeling fidgety, which meant she was anxious. Was Stina feeling something similar to what you were? Was it out of anxiety that she was keeping things secret? The idea of your relationship inspiring such emotions in your girlfriend made the lump in your throat that much bigger. Maybe she was picking up on your mood. Stina had always been very perceptive (because she spent so much time quietly watching, you often teased) and seemed to pick up on your moods without issue. But you’d been trying to hide this.
You caught her eye and sent her a quick smile. A piece of hair had fallen into her eyes and you wanted desperately to push it behind her ear as you normally would. But the gesture seemed too intimate now. It was as if you were in a glass cage, every move observed with the chance of exposing your feelings. But what was the problem in that, you asked yourself. You loved Stina, openly. Why were you letting this affect you so much?
Stina's sister declared that she wanted to do a bit of shopping after lunch, which the rest of the group was perfectly amicable to. It wasn’t all that late, and you’d get a chance to see the Christmas market all lit up. Stina's nephew certainly hadn't taken much convincing once Linnéa mentioned stopping at the toy store to look at something.
"Am I your favorite now?" Linnéa asked him, looking at you with a sly grin on her face.
"Yes!" The boy cried, smiling wide.
"You can't buy true connection, Linnéa," you teased, still helping to color.
"Can't buy connection." The boy repeated wisely. "I still like Stina's friend too."
You smiled and ruffled the boy's hair, suggesting quietly in his ear that you move to another page and make a drawing for Stina.
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Linnéa joined you and Stina in the car on the way back to their parent’s house, adding to the tension that had been building since the eight of you had gone shopping. Stina had stuck close to your side, and you’d done your best to act normally while keeping some distance. You needed to sort your head out, and being close to her wasn’t helping. Thankfully her nephew provided a good excuse to be tugged in all sorts of directions—he had decided you were his favorite once more, leaving Linnéa to hang behind with her siblings.
Once you had reached the Christmas market, after a short detour in the toy store where you had agreed to get matching dragon plushies for you and the young boy, each of you wandered off on your own. You, Stina’s brother, and her nephew headed first for the big tree that had been decorated in the square while the rest went to get something hot to drink. You had managed to sneak off under the guise of having to find the toilet, Stina’s brother covering for you if you needed. You wanted to get a small gift for Stina, something in addition to what you’d already purchased. Most of it was back in London since bringing it all on the plane was a hassle.
You’d found a perfect gift at a small stall tucked away near the edge of the market where an older woman was selling vintage jewelry. You picked through it slowly at first, not sure you would find anything. Most of it was too gaudy for Stina, and too impractical. But then you found a simple pendant with two stones in the middle—an amethyst and an opal, each of your birth stones, set in a complex circular pattern that reminded you a bit of some of the celtic designs Katie had shown you. You had purchased it immediately, no matter that it was overpriced.
Now you were sat listening to Linnéa’s music quietly as the three of you drove, trying not to nod off. You were unsuccessful, because the next thing you remembered was being jolted awake by Linnéa’s door falling shut. You heard Stina chuckle next to you and put a hand on your shoulder, likely amused by how suddenly you had shot up. You chuckled along with her and patted her hand, putting your coat back on to brave the cold once more.
“Is your ankle bothering you?” Stina asked you quietly as you all began to walk back to the house for dinner preparations.
You thought that you had been hiding the slight limp in your walk well, certainly nobody else had noticed, but nothing escaped your girlfriend apparently.
“Only a bit. I’ll ice it later and it’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“You should’ve said something if it was hurting, I told Linnea to be careful—” she was beginning to ramble, but you cut her off.
“Stina, it’s fine. I said I’m fine. I know what I can and cannot handle.”
It was a lie, and the both of you knew it. You were a stubborn bastard. Stina had been with you through your recovery, through every incident where you pushed yourself too hard only to have to face the consequences. She’d found you on the kitchen floor, comforted you after a physio session, seen you train with the team for the first time again. It was insulting to allege she didn’t know when too much was too much.
“Sorry,” You mumbled, already feeling bad for snapping at her. It wasn’t fair, she didn’t even know what was wrong and you were what? Punishing her?
“I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Do you know how horrible that was? To see you in that much pain?” Stina’s eyes were glossy with just the memory.
You weren’t sure what to say to that. You and Stina didn’t talk much about your injury and recovery. It was still too fresh, barely more than a couple months old. The crack of your ankle, the blood, her tears, her gentle shaking hands, it was all still at the front of your mind.
You were saved from having to formulate a response by Stina’s mother calling her to the kitchen. She left you, only looking back once to give you a slight smile, showing that the two of you were okay. But you knew the time to confront what was going on needed to come quickly.
You sat with Stina’s brother on the sofa and watched some Swedish Christmas program mindlessly. Mostly you were thinking about how to go about talking to Stina later. “Directness is key”, Laura's voice reminded you. You just had to say it, without blaming anyone. Just focus on yourself, your feelings.
It wasn't clear how long you sat there quietly before dozing off again, but Stina’s nephew was the one to wake you for dinner, doing so by climbing into your lap.
"It's dinner time." He said, poking at your shoulder.
You forced your eyes open, giving him a drowsy smile.
“Okay, Prinzi” you replied, picking him up off your lap so you could stand. He managed to hang on to your side though, and you ended up lifting him onto your hip anyway.
Fuck, you cursed silently as you noticed your ankle was even more tender than when you had fallen asleep. You’d have to check for bruising later and keep off it for the rest of the night. But still, you carried Stina’s nephew to the table with ease, setting him in his seat next to his mother who shot you a sheepish smile.
“Tired, aren’t you?” You heard a voice behind you, and then a gentle hand at your back.
It was Stina, who smelled of something sweet in the kitchen. You wanted to lean back into her and not move for the rest of the night. Instead you just nodded.
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“You’ve been playing babysitter all day, that might be part of it.” She smiled.
You nodded in agreement, a smile on your face as well.
"You're so good with him," she whispered into your ear, "it's adorable."
You had caught her taking pictures of you with her nephew a couple times throughout the day, and now, as you briefly as her phone light up with notification, it seemed she had set one of them as her lockscreen.
"I try my best. He's a good kid."
"Well, he's in good hands."
Dinner was delicious, but relatively uneventful. After an entire day together everyone was happy to sit quietly and enjoy the food. Stina’s nephew joked with you a couple times, still wanting all of your attention, but even he seemed to be winding down for the night.
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After the table was cleared and the dishes had been washed (a task delegated to Stina’s brother this time), the group splintered off. Linnéa was going out to meet with a few friends, Stina’s brother and his family had to go home before it got too late, and Stina’s parents had settled in the living room. The two of you were welcome to join, they offered, for a nightcap. But it was clear that maybe you and Stina needed some alone time.
So you bid everyone good night, thanking them for a wonderful day, and giving Stina’s nephew a big hug goodbye (even though you would be seeing him the next day). You tried to prepare for what you knew was a difficult discussion coming your way. In and out, you tried to remind yourself.
“Go ahead, I’ll be in in a minute,” Stina told you when you reached the bedroom door.
You nodded, thankful for the extra minute to think. The room was quiet around you. You felt the quilt beneath your hands, taking another deep breath. You didn’t need to overthink this. It was simple. And Stina loved you, you reminded yourself.
There was a knock at the door, after which Stina slowly opened it and slipped inside. She had a bag of ice in her hands, presumably for your ankle. Already you felt tears spring to your eyes.
“Here, for your foot.”
She lifted your leg, grabbing a chair for you to prop it up on, and pressed the ice to it.
“So,” Stina paused, still standing before you, “What’s wrong?” You opened your mouth, but were cut off before you could say anything. “And don’t say it’s nothing, I can tell it isn’t. And I want to know, I want you to tell me, whatever it is.”
You chuckled internally at the similarity to Laura’s demand earlier. Stina knew you too well for you to hide from her either. That made your heart ache a little bit.
Your lack of response seemed to signal to Stina that you needed more convincing because she knelt down in front of you, taking your hands in hers.
“What were you doing in the bathroom earlier? Why did you look so upset? All day, I can see you trying to hide it, but I know you’re hiding something. It hurts me too, to see you like that. It’s like a thorn in my ribs.”
Your lip trembled, and you bit down hard on your cheek until you could feel blood in your mouth. It rushed onto your tongue, the metallic taste distracting you from the urge to cry. Stina had caught your gaze, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.
“Do your parents know we’re together?” Your voice held steady as you asked.
Whatever she had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. Stina let out an airy chuckle, looking relieved. You brought your gaze to the floor, eyes wetting rapidly, which Stina quickly noticed.
“Hey, hey, hey,” She brought a hand up to your face, brushing the hair away from it. She sat next to you, moving up from where she was kneeling, and pulled you into her. “Look at me.” She put a finger under your chin, drawing your gaze to hers. The sight of your eyes nearly broke her heart. She hadn’t seen your face crumple in on itself like this since you were injured. The idea that something she had done could have caused you pain like that made her feel indescribably awful.
“Of course they know, of course they do.”
You let out a sigh of relief, putting your head in your hands. You felt a hand on the back of your neck, rubbing the skin there tenderly.
“Then why have you been so…distant all day? And yesterday? This morning at breakfast, I couldn’t even hold your hand. It seemed like you didn’t want your family to see us together. I thought maybe you… I don’t know, that you were unsure of us, or afraid, or—”
“That’s not it, I promise,” she said, wiping a tear away that had fallen from your eye. Fuck, you hated crying this much. “It’s just odd for me to be affectionate in front of my parents. They never were very touchy with each other in front of us, so it just feels like some unspoken rule. And then when my brother married his wife, they were the same way. But I promise, tomorrow I’ll try—”
You shook your head. You could tell Stina was upset too now, and you didn't want that. That wasn't the point of this. Tears continued to stream from your eyes, and you continued to swipe harshly at them.
“No, no. It’s all right. I don’t need you to be affectionate in front of them, I understand. It just seemed strange when I didn’t know the reason. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
Stina seemed at a loss for a moment, truly shocked. She pulled you into a kiss, pressing her lips firmly against yours once, twice, three times before pulling back.
“You’re in this house too. And we’re a team: you don’t just have to do things the way we do. I’m supposed to meet you in the middle, okay? We’re in a relationship—if something hurts you, or is important to you, I want to know.”
You nodded, squeezing her hand as a small thanks. The taste of blood trickled through your mouth, reminding you of the wound. You did your best to swallow it down.
“Come on, let’s get you into something more comfortable,” Stina said, helping you up.
She opened the dresser, looking for some of the pants you had brought. When she turned around, in her hands were a pair of grey sweats and one of her long sleeve Swedish national team shirts.
“Sit,” she requested, pointing at the bed.
You followed, sitting and allowing her to help you undress. It was totally non-sexual, Stina was wholly concerned in caring for you. Once you were dressed in the casual clothes she had picked out, Stina returned to your side, your ankle in her lap as she massaged the skin gently.
“Was that what made you think I hadn’t told them?”
“It seems silly… but I also overheard them talking to your aunt in the kitchen last night.” You took a breath, trying to banish the tears for good. “I know my Swedish isn’t that good, but I was doing my best to keep up, and they kept referring to me as your friend, your friend, Stina’s friend.”
Stina looked at you, confused.
“They did? What did they say?”
You did your best to repeat the word, cringing at your own pronunciation.
“Väninna?” She repeated, and you nodded. “Who told you that means friend?”
“Amanda.” you replied, “She said it was like a female friend.”
Stina shook her head, laughing.
“What?” You asked, a bit indignant.
“It does mean that. But it also means girlfriend. I don’t think Amanda thought you’d ever run into the word. It’s a bit old fashioned.” Stina explained.
“Oh…” you said, feeling very stupid, and very relieved.
“Come here,” Stina said, leaning back against the headrest and gesturing for you to settle against her. She grabbed the bag of ice on your foot and shifted it to lie comfortably again. “I’m sorry you had to go through the day thinking I’d invited you here under friendly pretenses.”
You could tell she was making fun of you, just a little, but that there was sincerity in her voice too. One of her hands crept under your shirt, resting comfortingly on your stomach.
“I hope you don’t treat all your friends like you did yesterday morning.” You replied, snuggling closer to her. For the first time in days your head wasn’t full of doubts, and you could relax wholly. You just wanted to enjoy her warmth around you. You had faith that tomorrow would be great, that you could finally enjoy your time here the way you were meant to.
She chuckled, hugging you closer to her and pressing a kiss to your upward-turned lips.
“No, definitely not. I usually have better decision making skills around most people.”
“I guess I’m just special then, huh?”
#hope you all enjoy !#and happy new years eve-ish#arsenal x reader#stina blackstenius#stina blackstenius x reader#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso x reader#laura freigang#stina blackstenius imagine#my writing
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Hii!! 🧚♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾
Really liked your last work, so here i am again
Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?
Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess
I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬
Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃♂️
HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊
anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨
no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁
for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:
i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.
i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better
#dontbottleupyouremotions
ANYWAY:
this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊
grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3
Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3
It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)
Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.
So then how do the brothers react?
LUCIFER
Great. Two Mammons.
At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.
Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)
This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.
He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,
He is a demon, after all. ;)
MAMMON
Finally. Someone who cries more than him!
It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.
Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.
You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'
Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.
LEVIATHAN
He blanks.
One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.
You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.
Leviathan PANICKS.
Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.
Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.
You might make him start crying as well :(
SATAN
Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.
He's just glad you cry over positive things :)
His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)
Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.
He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.
He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)
ASMODEUS
He thinks you're adorable.
Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3
If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3
If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.
BEELZEBUB
He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.
Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.
Only in serious serious situations will he cry.
So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)
Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?
He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.
He feels you with that.
Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.
Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.
BELPHEGOR
He laughs at you.
Point blank.
Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.
But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.
This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.
Which you do.
I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh
#obey me shall we date#obey me imagines#obey me x reader#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me mc#obey me fluff
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Hello, I am mostly back and recovered at the time of writing this lol. June wasn't very productive writing wise (...for BA), which is fine because I needed that break! Look at everything I did do in June:
RELEASED CHAPTER 2 FINALLY
Spent like 2 weeks fixing bugs (dw chapter 3 I'll get beta readers so it doesn't happen again LOL)
Participated in the Raffle for Palestine + wrote and sent out the story to the winner!
Wrote about 5k words of Chapter 3
Wrote and edited Zoe's back story
Wrote most of Lars back story because I was inspired (sorry you won't get this until after Chapter 3 drops)
I'm pretty happy to have released Chapter 2! I'm gonna be honest, this felt like such a daunting release lol When I started BA, I was expecting no one to read it save for a handful of people and I'd just be chilling and writing mostly for myself like usual, so releasing it with over 1.5k followers was very daunting. With that said, I am glad people overall enjoyed the new chapter! The plan is for Chapter 3 not to take as long, but life is still hectic so we'll see. At the very least, it hopefully won't be any later then October (BA's one year anniversary month!).
I also just want to give another shout out to everyone who participated in the raffle for Palestine! Raising over two thousand euros in two weeks is still amazing to me, and I'm happy the IF community could come together like this to help out a cause! This was lowkey another thing I was nervous about since I've never really done anything that's felt like a personal commission before (asks definitely feel different lol), but other then my initial nerves the whole thing was a really nice experience!
Now, going into July, I want to focus on the UI updates I want to make. I have some things I want to shift around and change, and since coding is my biggest weakness I know it's one of those things I'm going to have to focus on. If things go well, I'm hoping to do a pure UI update by August. It'll mostly be the menu pages (achievements/stats/relationships/etc), but there are a few other things I want to add in and adjust outside of it. As for Zoe's backstory, that should be out soon, so keep an eye out of that! Finally, I also might not be too active in July. For personal reasons, July is always a hard month for me. Hopefully it isn't obvious, but just in case I'm not around as much as usual, that's why!
OH and before I forget, here's this month's chapter preview ft Angry Rook:
Lastly, I made the questionable decision to make a side IF. Updates will be very sporadic since BA is and will always be my main project until its completion. But if you want to follow it, it's To Taste Sweet Silver. An 18+ gaslamp fantasy about trying to steal the Fruit of the Old Gods in order to bring the world to an end. It's a little more niche I think, but feel free to check it out! The demo shouldn't take too long to get out since I did accidentally write most of opening already.
#BA: updates#for the first time you get the word doc version not the in twine version for the preview#also I promise Side Project is very much a side project#it's also a lot more linear and going to be decently shorter#because oops BA got way out of hand by accident asfkdljafl#which is fine why not have your first IF be long and complicated /j
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My GPose Wrapped! Organized by when I finished the piece (when I saved it out to my EDITED folder in Google Drive)
I want to thank you for joining me on this journey! Getting a better sense of Aisling as a character is very fun, and getting to take cute pictures of her rocks.
Month by month commentary under the read more!
January
I actually finished and posted a lot of stuff in January but this was one of my favorites. I had to do a few tries with this pose shape and placement- originally I had her in a gazebo in the Grand Cosmos, doing a a spin. This final version really is stronger!
February
I was saving up energy for Lalapril! I knew the prompt list would come out early March so I waited… and bided my time…
March
I worked on Lalapril prompts through March and April, so these two months feature Lalapril posts. I finished Soul in March… I always knew I wanted Aisling’s sin eater future to look over her, and originally it was more of a canted angle and framing. But then I landed on this flatter framing, more tarot card like, and I knew I had a winner!
I originally wanted longer hair on Aisling, but I couldn’t find anything that worked right that I liked… so I went shorter, and I think that helped emphasize the right shapes in the piece more.
April
I’m really fond of the Zephyr photos. I just think the colors turned out sooooo nice, and it was the first time I fucked with color set editing. So this was a learning moment, too!
I tried a few different locations for these but found this one suited Aisling best.
May
I remember getting the ask I posted this with aaaaaaages ago. I think I may have actually also technically finished this piece ages ago, too? It was the part with Lamitt in the other sequence that was holding me up because the expression didn’t read right. Or it didn’t match the cutscene. Or both.
I overlayed two shots of this one with different shaders to get the impact I wanted. I like doing that. A big part of my process is getting the angle and pose I want and THEN going through shaders to get the right Look. So I wind up taking a lot of screenshots that no one will see because I don’t like the color balance. So it’s nice when I can use more than one.
June
Another relatively busy month according to my Google drive??? But I really liked this pose in particular. It’s a great outfit - (I forget the mod name rn but if you want to know I WILL look it up just ask)
I think I got a great side of Aisling. It gives me a lot of fun vibes- a lot of childhood shapes and inspirations in a piece.
I really like La Noscea- solidifying Aisling as a Limsa Girl and exploring her physical relationship with the area has been fun. It’s nice digging into the place as part of her story. Maybe I try to do that in the Black Shroud or Thanalan this year!
July
Bwaaah! Gampy! Midgardsormr has been a Big part of Aisling’s story since Heavensward. She’s formed a close relationship with him, despite him trying to ensure that Doesn’t Happen. But grandpa can’t help himself, not really.
So when I saw the Midgardsummer mod I knew I had to…. I HAD to….. SUMMER VACAY GAMPYYYYYY
yeah this was also a fun way to test the new face bones! My first time really working with them. I’m still learning a lot about them now!
August
As I was going through Dawntrail, I wanted to try and capture moments that captured me. And though Dawntrail as a whole failed to capture me (JUST got to the last area and stalled out loooool) I really liked the build up to Ja’Tiika. The colors we saw through the rocks really captured me, and this scenario came to my head immediately!
September
Summer came to an end and I managed to snap this picture before all the Moonfire Faire decorations went away! These little cauldrons are actually filled with water, but I couldn’t resist posing Aisling on them. All of the little bombs around her kept floating even when the world was frozen, so I had to time the shots lol. But she fit right in! And I like the angle I got on it.
October
Glamtober! It was fun to piece through Vanilla items. I managed to find a few new ones I liked, and I am really fond of all the pictures I took. But the Unsounded ones are my favorites because Unsounded is my favorite comic. Go read it! The climax is climax-ing.
November
I joined the Popoto Patch discord a while back. I’m not very active in it as big discords are hard for me ): the biggest one I’m active in, I’ve been in for years and was there when it was much smaller. I’ve tried joining a few big discords for 14 and not all of them have been great- there’s just so many people so I find it…. Haaaaard ):
I’m going to try to challenge myself tho! I wanna try to do as many Popoto Patch zines as I can this year, and try to go to an event! Or two! It’s possible! Ganbatte!
Anyway, cyberpunk was the theme for this shot, and it’s a lot less punk than most of the other entrants, I think. But look, if Aisling were in a future city, THIS is what she’d wear!
I really like the outfit of this mod, as well as the glasses I found. Suuuuper sharp. And I couldn’t resist adding some bokeh bubbles to pump up those colors…. If I could just live in the rainbow of this picture I’d be happy.
December
I’m soooo glad I got around to doing this. I’ve wanted to do more with this outfit since I took only first shot with it a year or so ago, and when I saw that Sailor Moon art again I knew…. I knew I had to do it with Aisling….
Sailor Moon is near and dear to my heart and the aesthetics inform sooooo much of my tastes and what I love. It was hellish posing this (the camera and big mounts are NOT friends) but I managed to make it work, and I’d do a lot different now….
Fun fact this is in Halone’s cave in Coerthas. The blurred out crystals really make a perfect backdrop.
And that’s it! Thanks so much for joining meeeeee! I’m bad at ending things sooo
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Fic Writing Review 2024
Thanks for the tag, @kiwiana-writes
Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.
Words and Fics (fics written in 2024 only)
24,701 words published to ao3, which is a little less than half of last year’s total, but there was a lot of life happening this year that made writing difficult.
My writing tracker only lasted until April so I don’t honestly know how many words I’ve written, but I did work on several things that are still WIPs.
I’ve published in two fandoms: Schitt’s Creek and RWRB.
Most recent drop: you can call me, call me, any time, aka kinktober day 10, published in November lol.
Longest published fic: stronger than iron, stronger than steel at a whopping…3714 words lol.
Longest WIP remains indie band Patrick which is just over 29k
Top Fics by Kudos (fics written in 2024 only)
you can call me, call me, anytime [firstprince, E, 500 words]
head in the clouds but my gravity’s centered [firstprince, E, 1.1k]
bells will ring, the sun will shine [firstprince, E, 861 words]
love just leaves you bruised [david/patrick, T, 1.4k]
I don’t wanna play if I’m gonna lose (but I don’t wanna lose ‘cause I didn’t play) [firstprince, M, 1.4k]
Miscellaneous Data From My Unhinged Spreadsheet about 2024 fics
The fic with the highest percentage of private bookmarks is you can call me, call me, anytime which is a little surprising.
Out of 14 published fics, 11 were E, 1 was M and 2 were T, which is a very different distribution than usual, but that’s because 10 of the 14 fics were kinktober lol.
I wrote David/Patrick, Alex/Henry, and June/Nora. Also started a Stevie/Alexis kinktober fic that I have yet to finish.
1 title came from canon, 1 didn’t have a source, and the other twelve were from the following artists (1 each): The Bens, Mariah Carey, Billy Joel, Regina Spektor, the Neighbourhood, MUNA, Chapterhouse, The Dixie Cups, West Side Story, Noah Reid, Matt Nathanson, and Blondie.
Highest kudos to hits ratio is a long winter of indifference
I published 8 fics in October, 2 in November, and one each in January, February and March. Not publishing anything in April broke a 2.5 year streak of publishing at least one fic per month (October 2021-April 2024) and I had a lot of feelings about it.
My average fic length this year was 1,645 words.
Stats specifically about Kinktober
Ten total fics and 13,792 words published so far - hoping this updates before the end of the year.
Five were David/Patrick, 4 were Alex/Henry and 1 was June/Nora
3 were David POV, 2 were Patrick POV, 3 were Alex POV, and 1 each were Henry and June POV.
Longest was I feel dizzy, I feel sunny, I feel fizzy and funny and fine, because apparently I have a lot to say about Patrick in lingerie, which is very valid of me tbh.
Shortest was you can call me, call me, anytime, which was epistolary.
Most popular by hits was head in the clouds but my gravity’s centered. Least popular by both hits and kudos was I know it gets hard just to breathe sometimes (I’m never gonna forget your name) which was breathplay so that’s fair.
The Rest of 2024
I have an exchange fic to finish and also am really hoping to finally get the exes to lovers fic finished. Potentially other kinktober fics, and maybe if I’m really on a roll, either the black swan au or the pretty princess fic. We’ll see!
Tagging people who either may want to participate or maybe are just interested? Idk.
@hippolotamus @blackandwhiteandrose @rosedavid @ninzied @indestructibleheart
@mostlyinthemorning @filet-o-feelings @carolrain @tyfinn @jamilas-pen
@rmd-writes @welcometololaland @lizzie-bennetdarcy @jettestar @thesleepyskipper
@ships-to-sail @beaiola @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 @chelle-68 @missgeevious
@dinnfameron
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a/n; sorry !!!!!!!!!!!!! (either for the delay or the fact that I’m posting again depending on how you feel about me)(I’m from mountains, canada and I drove to prairies, canada & at one point completely out of nowhere my friend was like “you could hide a military base out here so easy” I was like 👀)(silas could literally be in flatlands, manitoba we don’t even know)
anyway LOL this is for the anon that asked for more outside pov !! I was actually looking for smth hal ‘cause I have a lot more lighthearted stuff & sort of caretaking healing things from hal’s pov BUT !!! I felt partway through june needed more screen time & I went back and wrote a lot of early stuff from her pov & this is some of that & it is TOO GOOD not to post !! more wren backstory 😏 but nothing good has happened to wren in his life so y’know
tw/cw: sexual violence, rape, noncon, transphobia, misgendering, graphic depictions of violence, serious bodily harm, forced imprisonment, captivity, mentions of kidnapping, sexual slavery, medical torture
outside pov, military whump, mentions of super soldiers
June has been in the unit for about two years — she thinks — when Point comes to escort her from the common room, and it isn’t unusual. Not at first.
She safely assumes it’s for combat or field training, which are two of the only three things she ever gets escorted from the unit for. The third is medical. She’s never seen anything else, she’s never been taken to any other part of the district, and the hair on the back of her neck starts to rise as Point leads her deeper and deeper into the labyrinth, farther and farther from familiarity.
“Sir?” She tries, and he doesn’t even look at her.
He leads her to a door at the end of a long, empty hallway. He stands with his back to it, finally looking at June. Something in his jaw twitches. “Against my better judgment,” he says, and has to stop, to calm himself, closing his eyes, breathing in slowly through his nose. When he opens his eyes again, he looks at her and says, “if I had another choice, you would not be here. You are about to become privy to information only my most trusted men have been entitled to. It is contraband. If, for any reason, my superiors find out, and she is taken from me, I will not be happy. And if I’m not happy, your employment with me will be terminated by means of your life. Do I make myself clear?”
June had never seen any farther into the district than the arenas, even further underground. This is a single, armoured door, at the end of a long, empty hallway, at the junction of more long, empty hallways. “She?” June asks.
“Do I make myself clear?” Point repeats, and June’s body nods with no help from her brain.
“Sir,” she says.
Point clicks his tongue, irritated, before he unlocks and unarms the door.
It opens to the worst thing June has ever seen in her life.
“Fuck!” She says, and she doesn’t mean to, taking a quick step back. She can see Point watching her, blank, from the corner of her eye, but she can’t look at him. She doesn’t want to look anymore but she can’t pull her eyes off the body laid flat on its back on the concrete.
The costume dress is ripped and stained, tulle and gingham soaked through with blood. The body is so emaciated that June can clearly make out every bone in its leg beneath its waxy, bruised skin.
She fixates on the long, white hair. Robin has the same hair.
“Oh my fucking god,” she says.
Robin speaks of him, still, but he hasn’t been the same since this place got to him. None of them are. He isn’t frantic in the same way, but he still talks about him. When Robin talks, it’s most of what he talks about.
When he’d been taken, escorted here, his brother had been with him. The artist. They’d taken him, too. The soldiers all staunchly denied him ever even having a brother with him, so June had always assumed he’d been killed at the scene. Robin had insisted as long as he’d been there — they’d taken his brother, too. He was here somewhere.
He was right.
June feels cold all over.
“I think her pelvis is broken,” Point explains, and she has never experienced the rush of emotion she feels now, wet and hot, like a tide that breaks in her chest.
“You think her —“ she starts, and it almost makes her gag. She has to take a long breath in through her nose. She still can’t look away. “You think his pelvis is broken?”
“No,” Point admits. “Her pelvis is definitely broken.”
“Oh my fucking god,” June says again, and her voice sounds really far away. Robin’s brother has been real this whole time and Point’s been keeping him as a pet. “Oh my fucking god. You raped him to death.”
“She’s still alive,” Point says, and he says it like she’s dumb. He steps closer to nudge him in the side with the toe of his boot and Robin’s brother makes a quiet, wet sound June has only ever heard from dying men.
She reacts without thinking, shoving Point away from him. He moves, but he sneers as he looks down at her. “Stand down, January.”
“Get the fuck away from him!”
One of his eyebrows lifts, menacing. She doesn’t like Point, and she’s never liked Point, but one of the things she’s growing to loathe is his almost cartoonish villany. His mood swings are goofy and violent and it sets her teeth on edge. “I own her,” he says, low and dangerous. He leans in close. June is a big girl — Point is a massive fucking man. She doesn’t want to be intimidated by him but he speaks like a threat and his breath is hot against her face. “I can do whatever I want to her. That’s not why I brought you here.”
June would be shivering if she let herself, which is interesting because she’s actually as hot as if she’s running a fever. The sweat is cold as it trickles down her spine. “Why did you bring me here?”
Point looks down at the blood dried on the concrete, at Robin’s bleeding, broken brother, and says, “I don’t know what to do.” He looks at June slowly and his face is completely void of any emotion that June knows or recognizes.
“What?” She says.
He looks down again, back up, and she still can’t read his face at all. “I don’t want her to die,” he finally admits.
“Oh my fucking god,” June says, and she doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t know what else to say. She knew Point was a mean bastard but she never would’ve thought he would’ve been capable of this. “You should’ve thought about that before you raped him to death.”
“She doesn’t have to die,” he says.
“What do you want me to do?” June cries.
He looks at her like she’s a little stupid, which is just mind blowing, and motions to Robin’s brother with one arm. The other is held at his back, at ease.
Wren.
The name comes to her out of nowhere.
Robin’s brother is Wren.
“You’re also female,” Point explains, and kind of tilts his head, “I think.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” June says. “So?”
He motions at Wren again.
June looks at him, too, and it’s so much more horrible now that he has a name. He’d had family before, loved ones, somebody who was worried about him, and that was bad enough, but now this small, bleeding thing, broken down the middle, has a name.
Wren.
What was their last name? Some other kind of bird, wasn’t it? Was it Heron?
“I don’t know why you think I can help him,” June says.
Point’s eyebrows lift. “I figured you would’ve dealt with your share of female hysteria.”
“Female hysteria?” June repeats. “He was raped to death!”
“She isn’t fuckin’ dead!” Point snaps.
“He’s dying right now!” June cries. “You know that or you wouldn’t have come for help. What the fuck do you expect me to do? Really?”
Rage simmers in Point’s face for only a second. It’s gone just as quickly, replaced by something shier, almost more bashful. “Word is,” he says tightly, “you were a big…female advocate during your time. I thought you might’ve —“ and he cuts himself, exhaling sharply. “I thought you might’ve known somebody who’d been…hurt like her before. I thought you might know what to do.”
“They died,” June says.
“No,” Point says.
“Yes,” June corrects. “I worked around a lot of men like you. They were always civilians, always young, and they always died. Always.”
“You just let them die?” Point says, like he’s horrified by that.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” June says. “He needs a doctor. Have Medic —“
“No.” When he’s not speaking with too much emotion, Point doesn’t speak with a lot. Still, this is the flattest June’s ever heard his voice.
“Oh my god,” she says. “I know what to do and that’s what I know. If those girls in the field had been allowed access to a doctor they might not have died. They would’ve had a fucking chance, at least. What do you think is —“
“No,” he says.
“You’re really just gonna let him die here?” She protests.
“She’s contraband,” Point says, flat. “I thought I made myself clear.”
“So?”
Point looks her up and down once, lip curling disdainfully. “On paper,” he says, “she was terminated on site.”
Something shivers in June’s chest and makes her breath rattle. “Oh my god.”
“She is an unsanctioned pet,” Point says, “and —“
“Oh my fucking god,” she says. She takes a step away from him and she isn’t sure when she had gotten so deep into this room. She doesn’t like it, but she’s standing between Point and Wren and she can’t bring herself to stand anywhere else.
He kind of rolls his eyes at her. “And —“
“So he was always going to die here!” June cries, and the spike of hysteria in her voice surprises even her but this is fucking unbelievable. This is unreal. This place was a hellscape when these men were just working guard detail at a fucked up mad science program making super soldiers.
She should’ve known better. She was in the military, and she knew what those men were like. Point was right, kind of; she didn’t really work as an advocate, she just got a nickname. She used to fight, physically fight stationed doctors to try and get them to help the girls the soldiers always left behind. But they were always locals, civilians; the military’s doctors weren’t authorized to help them.
She should’ve known they’d never just be working guard detail.
She just never would’ve thought they’d be keeping a fucking sex slave in the basement.
What the fuck?
“What the fuck!”
Point exhales through his nose. “Yes,” he agrees.
June puts a hand to her chest and her heartbeat is like gunfire. Robin had been so hysterical about his brother when he’d gotten here, but he’d been going through withdrawals. June had never doubted that he was real, like Hal had, but she really thought they’d killed him, and that Robin had probably just blocked it out. That he’d completely forgotten it after the lobotomy, or whatever the hell they did to him.
He’d been real this whole time and Point had been keeping him as a pet.
“Oh my fucking god.”
“I don’t want her to die,” Point admits again, and June can feel it under her hand, the way that makes her chest constrict.
“At this point it’s probably the least you can do,” she spits, and her head is spinning.
“No,” Point says, and she hates that she agrees with him, but he’s right.
She can’t let him die down here. Not like this. “He needs a doctor,” she says.
“No.”
“That’s all you can do!” she protests. “There’s no other way to help him! You broke his fucking pelvis. He probably needed a doctor six months ago but if he doesn’t get one now he’s going to die. If you don’t want him to, tell Medic.”
“They’ll take her from me,” Point says.
June throws her arms up. “Then he’ll just be dead!”
Point looks down at her for a long time and she looks right back. She thinks he’s probably trying to intimidate some hidden medical prowess out of her, but she’s serious, and at some point he sees it in her face. His lip curls back from his teeth and he leaves. Without a word, he leaves, and he locks the armoured door behind him.
“Fuck,” June says out loud, and she doesn’t mean to. Her voice breaks.
But they’re alone. At least they’re alone.
Slowly, she turns to Wren, and slowly, she sits beside him. “Hi, Wren,” she whispers. He doesn’t respond and she doesn’t really expect him to. Slowly, she reaches out to him, brushing bits of crusted hair out of his face. He looks like he’s probably really beautiful, and he looks young. He looks so young that it makes June nauseous and she has to do everything in her power to keep her voice soft and calm and sweet. She wants to scream for him. She wants to cry.
She starts to push his hair out of his face and his eyes don’t open but he flinches with his whole body. “It’s okay,” June whispers. “It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s June. I’m a friend of your brother.”
It stirs something in him. His head turns slowly against the concrete and his hair is so white the parts dried with blood look like they’re rusting. Blinking open his eyes, he looks up at her, and he has eyes so much darker than June was expecting. He has really, really dark, really wide eyes, bloodshot and bruised underneath, and he looks up at June from beneath wet eyelashes and it makes him look even younger and she cries with him, then. She can’t help herself.
“Robin?” He asks, but just barely. His voice is really small, but when June strains to hear it, she can hear Robin’s accent, softer and sweeter. “He’s alive?”
“Yeah,” June agrees, smiling wetly, “and he’s clean. He’s all big now, looks like a real cowboy. They fixed his teeth, too. He’s got a great smile.”
He chokes out a wet sound that June only realizes is a sob when a tear clears a track in the grime on his face.
“I know,” she agrees softly. “Really seems like you got the shitty end of the deal here.”
He makes another choked sound and June likes to imagine that in another life, he got to laugh towards the end. “I’m gonna die,” he says, and June can hear it in how thin, how wet his voice is, that yeah, he probably is, “aren’t I?”
“I think so,” June whispers. “I hope not.”
He chokes out another sound, another sob. “I think I want to,” he whispers, and his brittle voice breaks. “I don’t wanna do this anymore.”
“I know,” she agrees. “I think I would, too.” He moves his head, tips his face up towards the ceiling, and strips of flesh have been peeled from the side of his throat. She takes his hand so carefully, and she doesn’t look at the bruising around his wrist or every one of his broken fingernails. “I don’t think I’d want to be alone,” she explains.
He makes a choked sort of sound. “I’m never alone.”
“I’m sorry,” she says softly. “Do you want to be alone now?” His fingers tighten around June’s, almost frantic, and she says, “it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” She squeezes his fingers as much as she’s comfortable, which is just barely. “Couldn’t get very far if I wanted to.”
She’s crying, but that feels rude. What does she have to cry about? She tries to wipe her eyes with the back of her other hand and says, “I’m really sorry this happened to you.”
He doesn’t say anything but his fingers are still shaking so June knows he’s still alive. He’s so cold she thinks it would be hard to tell, otherwise. She doesn’t think she’d let go of his hand either way.
They sit there for such a long time that June thinks that Point’s left them both to die. She holds Wren’s hand and cries for him when he isn’t conscious to hear it. When the door is finally opened again, she jumps so hard it feels like it throws something out in her back.
Jumping to her feet, she keeps Wren safely behind her as Point filters back in, face blank. Close at his back is Medic and June sobs out loud.
She would go as far as to say she likes Medic. A trauma surgeon, Medic is a good doctor and he’s kind to them. He’s a prisoner, too. He doesn’t want to be there, either. Him and the entire rest of his team are fitted with collars, flickering at all times with dangerous red light. Insubordination will lead to electrocution which will lead to death.
Medic is a prisoner and he’s one of if not the only person down here with any sort of humanity left. He reacts to Wren like any normal person would — with horror.
He recoils so hard it makes him take a step back, and he bumps into June. Neither of them acknowledge it. “What the fuck?”
Point opens his arms, dismissive. “Fix her.”
“Who is this?”
“Who cares?” Point says. “Can you fix her?”
“What the fuck?” Medic repeats, ragged. “What did you do to her? Who is this?”
“Robin’s brother,” June says, and Medic looks at her with eyes blown wide with horror.
They blow even wider with realization. He looks at Point slowly. “What the fuck?”
“You’re wasting time,” Point says. “She’s dying.”
“His pelvis is broken,” June tells him quietly, and Medic sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth.
“Fuck me,” he says. He rubs his face slowly, but if there’s one thing June likes best about Medic, it’s that she respects him. When he lowers his hands, he looks at Point. He says, “get the fuck out. Take June back to the unit, and stay the fuck away. If you try to see him at any point while he’s in my care, I will fucking kill you. You understand?”
Point’s lip curls back from his teeth. “You’re in no position to tell me what to do, doc.”
“Then maybe we’ll have Weaver come down here and take a look at him instead,” Medic says.
Point snarls, actually snarls, like some kind of fucked up beast, and the way the sound reverberates through the room is deeply unsettling. But he takes June by the arm, and he turns.
June turns to look over her shoulder, but Medic closes the door between them. As she turns back around, she sees it’s because Point tried to look back, too.
She doesn’t say anything to Robin. Maybe that’s the wrong choice, she isn’t sure. What would the right choice be? Would she wanna know, if it was her? What if she’d been lobotomized?
She doesn’t say anything and she doesn’t see Medic for months. When she does she’s sitting in a bed in the medical bay, trying to peer around for any sign of him. The medical bay, unfortunately, was designed for privacy; the size of a large airplane hanger, there are enough beds for a small army but spaced out far enough that June can’t peer end to end.
When the door is pushed open and Medic lifts the corner of his mouth at her, she has a bullet in her arm but she forgets that it hurts and blurts, “is he okay?”
Medic smiles a little more properly and the relief that crests in June’s chest almost makes her start crying out of nowhere. “No,” he says, “but he’s getting there. He’s alive.”
“Oh my fucking god,” she says, and he laughs. “Can I see him?”
“Let’s get this bullet out of you,” he says, “and we’ll see.”
A few months after that, somebody new is introduced to their unit. Like every other time, they don’t know until the guards show up with them. The new guy, this time, has long white hair, the same colour as Robin’s.
June cries pretty uncontrollably.
Robin doesn’t cry — can’t, maybe? — but June cries enough for him, too.
#this was written in two parts that i tried to splice together i hope it’s not obvious & awkward LMFAO#wren & silas#whump#whump community#whump scenario#whump scenes#whump story#whump stuff#whump writing#whumpblr#whumpee#whump blog#whump tag#whump series#emotional whump#whump things#whump fic#whump aftermath#whump angst#whump snippet
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