#final year undergrad
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hey, everything good ?
nah
#i know this is in last night's context#i live in hostel#final year undergrad#ive been feeling left out#excluded#invisible#uncared for by the ppl around me for months#partly cos our interests dont match which can't blame anyone#but one of them i was close with and genuinely liked#this had been happening for months#id confided in that one person and also subtly told the rest how i was feeling#the treatment continued#a week ago something happened and i isolated myself from them#ignore them etc etc#that one person reached out yesterday#the rest didn't bother (keep in mind these are ppl im constantly around)#i was honest that i felt extra betrayed by her cos she didn't stand up for me for months after id communicated clearly how i was feeling and#is only now reaching out when im throwing a tantrum#she just took all accountability and said sorry#but there's no change since then#they've been even more rude to me since then#im tired#this is a pattern in my life#i struggled with finding my ppl in school#11/12th grade were the worst years of my lifw#uni was supposed to be different and now this#im internalising it#cos ive reached out and initiated so many frenships and selfishly i know im a great fren#but i haven't had the best luck#and it feels like there's something inherently wrong with me that ppl don't care about me enough
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To the next adventure...
Image description and details under cut
I.D.
[A drawing of Nicky, Joe, Quynh, and Andy from The Old Guard. They are all in profile, walking in a straight line facing the sun. They are dressed in medieval clothing and armour, and each carry their own weapons and bags. Nicky has his sword, a crossbow, a quiver of bolts, a dagger at his belt and another strapped to his ankle. Joe is holding his sword, a bag, and a coin purse. Quynh's bow is over her back, and her quiver is at her hip. Two daggers are strapped to her belt, one of them matching Nicky's. Andy is holding her axe, two bags, and a dagger. They each have serene expressions and closed eyes, as if they're not in a hurry. In the background, the seasons change from winter to spring, summer, fall. There is an old tree behind them, and its branches change with the seasons.]
#tog#the old guard#nicolo di genova#yusuf al kaysani#quynh#andromache of scythia#the old gays#siggy draws#FINALLY. this took... 3 months altogether? FUCK i miss these four.#apologies if my image description is super long. i really enjoy drawing all these tiny details...#director's commentary as usual:#when i draw stuff like this it's usually because i'm working on a big fic. and i am. but also it is taking me over a year so far#because i'm finishing my undergrad. but i do plan to finish the fic!#regardless they could be walking anywhere.#tried to keep it sometime around the 14th century. i always try to put them in clothes that reflect their personalities -#- and places of origin more or less.#andromache's mail is old af and not in good shape. only she and nicolo have spurs so i guess they would be the riders if they had horses#but i am not about to attempt to draw a horse lol#details i like: nicky's little hat to protect his hair from his chainmail. his and quynh's matching daggers. yusuf's fancy-boy armour.#quynh's leg wraps and her jerkin. and andy's super old chainmail and her whip braids <3#where are they going? where did they come from? it's up to ye.
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Starting to fully sink in that I have approximately three months to put together my grad school applications (closer to four at a couple schools, but still, not a ton of time). That's... closer than I thought.
Anyway, guess who's been combing back over faculty profiles at various schools to try to find folks whose interests align with mine and getting a little stressed out. I don't know how close a match someone's research interests need to be, nor do I feel entirely ready to be reaching out to grad students to ask them about their experiences so I don't end up regretting my choice.
(And of course I'm back to having doubts I can get in anywhere, but I'm still committed to trying. Just. Getting kind of stressed about it.)
Sorry in advance for how much you all will be hearing about this over the next few months. I'm kind of scared and there's a lot riding on this hopefully working out. Which I am realizing I am maybe not as collected about as I thought now that it's starting to feel real.
#and on top of all of this i'll have my research project. which i kind of need to have turn out well for said applications#finally getting to my last school year of undergrad after so many stops and starts definitely has some 'oops! you succeeded! vibes#what do you mean i have to think about what i'm doing 'next'#sounds fake
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Y’all I’m getting so emotional over my graduation pictures 🥹😭
#non sims#Five years of undergrad ending in December 🤞#i finally have graduation pictures that I’m happy with haha
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the minster archives session was so interesting!! there were so many cool eighteenth century things about people in the city from poets, doctors, politicians and criminals :)
#a lecturer asked me what masters i was doing but i told her i'm in my final year of undergrad n i'm at the other uni n we talked a bit !#diary#tiyas thoughts
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If graduate students don't learn how to read emails and follow basic instructions real quick, Imma go spare.
#hilary for ts#school stuff#me: /sends out a long and detailed email with clear instructions about a missing assignment and what to do next#no fewer than three students (and counting): ?? what do do?? unsure???#these are final year grad students applying for graduation#i have. questions. many questions.#most of them are CAN YOU READ#you would expect this from undergrads but CMON GUYS#etc etc moment of ventage into the blue hellsite complete
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I’ve reached the point in the summer where I start romanticizing and looking forward to fall + the fall semester knowing damn well it still gets to 80 degrees in october now and I statistically perform poorly in the fall semester ♥️
#but what can you do#anyway I have to do back to school shopping soon very excited about that#I’m finally in my last year of undergrad at least!#diary
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one of my essays from back when i studied philosophy is being put into a good answers guide at my university<3 not one of my good ones but
#its abt the philosophy of conspiracism in the modern day. suuuuuch a blast to write#my prof told me that he was like gasping at the twists and turns of the anti vaccine movement#i was like king have you been living in this world with us. this is just the news peace and love#so fun to like talk abt the moon landing and 911 and just stream of consciousness and someone think its good#bc if i had handed that in as a poltiics paper it would be like snooze you missed these things and its not valuable bc x y z#but this dude had never heard any of it before! loved that#he was like 'to get the full 100 i would have wanted some actual philosophy content in there' and yeah true#gonna talk to the prof tho bc theres a new philosophy of AI unit#and its been running a few years i took it in my last sem of undergrad#and it was so fallacious and like dick sucking of AI engineers#i kept being like true ai or not lets talk abt how this is impacting society NOW since its being CALLED ai#and i kept getting almost failing grades#then my final exam was graded by a different prof and lo and behold it pulled my grade waaaaaaay up#so clearly my writing is. good. and my grasp of AI and the concepts is. good.#that dude was just musk pilled or smth#anyway gonna tell the head of phils to keep an eye lmao#its a core unit for data science students and it has no intellectual credit to it AT ALL imo#its like what happens when ai starts producing more ai and we get deleted from existence and i was like what abt wages girl#im the problem tho
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oh where do we begin? the rubble or our sins?
#pompeii#bastille#happy ten years to Pompeii!#i was in my final year of undergrad at uni when it came out and now i feel old haha#fanart
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I think what I'm feeling right now is me getting back in touch with myself for the first time in a while, feels strange, feels like being my child self, teenage self and adult self all at once
#really was in survival mode final year of undergrad and the whole time doing my master's#then a lot happened and I realise now I was kind of dissociated#been alone for two weeks whilst my partner has been in Canada and it's been rough but this is very good#growth dare I say
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sweetie are you alright you just reblogged “do it for Trent crimm” thirteen times.
do you need a hug
goin through it lads
#thank you tho <3#also i actually did get a hug yesterday so i will be thinking about that for the next 3-5 business years#im very normal and not touch starved. anyway#i have so amny asks i want to answer and posts i want to relblog with THoughts and fics i want to leave comments on but i have so many thin#so many thing to do. so many.#it's like the last few weeks of my last undergrad semester and im finishing up my thesis and my capstone and my finals and#kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me#holds trent crimm in my palms. save me trent crimm. save me. save me trent crimm. trent crimm save me#askbox#anonymous
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* using "accepted for publication" as the metric because I realise things sometimes take years to actually come out. in this case i mean peer-reviewed academic publications (but postgrad journals etc count, it doesn't have to be a fancy prestigious thing, i just mean as opposed to a 500-word column in your uni's newspaper or something)
i guess if you're in the kind of field where papers have many authors and you get to be in the list because you're a member of that lab, even if you didn't write the paper, that also counts? i don't really know how stem publications work tho. i am in a field where most articles are single author, sometimes two authors but rarely more
honestly this is just curiosity on my part. it's pretty limited data since i won't know what fields people are in (or if you sought publication sooner but it didn't work out) but i just wanna get a sense of what's typical
#academia#gradblr#studyblr#i haven't put an option for first publishing as a postdoc just bc i didn't think you could get postdocs without having published something#but maybe that was an error#anyway this is purely curiosity on my part#i have friends who had stuff accepted as MA students and others who didn't publish until final year PhD#i guess I'm just curious#also i wanted to leave gaps for those who didn't go straight through#i know a number of people who took a few years after undergrad or between MA and PhD#but kept doing independent research#and some who haven't returned yet but i guess might#not sure where that falls
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*rocks up to my rp blog two months late with a latte*
#ooc; onion girl enthusiast#((HEY...HI..HOW Y'ALL DOING.))#((i've been very busy with uni..academic weapon.))#((i really love my modules this term but boy they keep me busy. it's the third and final year of my undergrad too so i guess thats expected#((i'm trying my hardest to stay organised tho! which truly does not come natural to me but we move))#((ty you all for being patient with me though i know i'm very forgetful when it comes to dms but i love all of you!!))#((and i will see if i can start writing again bc i feel my creative writing skills deteriorating..i miss rei))#((anyway i hope you are all well!! mentally i'm giving you all a kiss <3))
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hand overrrrr the fucking overpriced cardboardddd!!!
#(my undergrad)#i still have this whole ass year left and i dont want no more#grrrr#welp. today i finally hauled my bum up to exercise right after wakin up#hopefully it will stick and do wonders for my metabolism
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Im going to have to learn new depths of emotional maturity to handle the field school this season tbh
#several people I would rather NOT spend my summer doing manual work with are going AND the director said she’s moving me from my trench of#2 years to a different trench bc of some valid reasons of what I know a lot about BUT that trench is MY baby and we were FINALLY through th#roof tile layer and I spent 2 years waiting for that#and my dig wife isn’t going this year 😭😭😭😫😫😫😫#she’s moving me to the trench that they found a forge in and didn’t get to bedrock yet in and I wrote my thesis on tools so like fair#but I fucking worked my ass off for that other trench and I don’t get to be there for the fruit of my labors#last season was HARD it rained so much and we were so busy and couldn’t excavate very many hours and the professional archaeologist assigned#to my trench had a different commitment so I was In Charge of that trench and fighting for my life to keep the mood up of the undergrads I#was supervising and I was in charge of making HARD decisions about how to excavate that trench#and now I’m being put at a different trench and like they already found the evidence of the forge like what more am I going to find there#but despite my gentle and polite protestations I am being reassigned to be in charge of that unit#which fine I’ll do my absolute best but I’m still upset
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i’m sorry this is SO random but i saw you mention that quackity randomly uses east coast vowel changes. and well idk where HE gets those, but i’ve lived in california for my entire life and i have a tendency to fall into an east coast accent/way of speaking. i’ve never known anyone from the east coast, nor have i ever visited it.
no this is so funny bc i'm also from california and during college i picked up various vowel changes, including some east coast ones. i think sometimes you just start saying weird shit, whether bc you watched too much tv or were exposed to new people and took on part of their way of speaking, or sometimes who tf knows why. so it's not like completely bizarre that q has some of those vowel changes it's just really funny bc on the surface it seems strange and makes no sense how his accent got there.
#asks#anons#side note i went to watch a recording of myself from sophomore year of college and man.#first of all. the socal accent is off the charts which is funny bc i intentionally tried to tone it down in undergrad#second thing. i wore pajamas to the final presentation of the semester. king shit#like fully pajamas with a lazer pointer in my hand discussing queer terminology and identity building#and the thickest san diego accent you can imagine#anyway yeah who's to say people pick things up all kinds of places#i say pecan like pee-can despite no one in my family saying it that way nor it being a regional thing here#shit just happens
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