#filling out forms autism

[puppynametaken]

Affini practically orgasming over me filling out paperwork for the fun of it. I get too high and puppy brained and amongst all the forms I accidentally sign my domestication contract much to the affini’s joy. The sound of an affini climax is one to behold. Let’s just say I get to fill out documents whenever I want now…

[jay-will-dictate]

I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist in a moment, I feel so sickkkk

[la-principessa-nuova]

i still don’t get how on earth i’m supposed to know what to put on my walls

or like really anything related to interior design

i feel like the only answer is to hire an interior designer to figure it out for me

but like that’s never happening

[galionne-vibin]

Wait what do you mean being unable to take naps (as in actually sleeping and not just lying down for an hour waiting for medications to kick in) is an autism thing

Wait what do you mean insomnia and poor sleep quality is an autism thing

[transmandrake]

Feel like face blindness is underestimated as a thing that Completely Fucks Up your ability to socialise and make friends, especially when its combined with time blindness.

Want friends but cant recognise people and have no idea when you last talked to someone?

The only way you can do that is to be in a situation where the same people show up in the same place at the same time, or/AND where said people approach you first and frequently enough to where you can figure out a way to find them that doesnt involve needing to know what they look like.

Oh, you already did that? Well now you have to actually remember they exist and contact them. Regularly. And pretend you care. You wish you did.

Even worse if you're depressed or otherwise emotionally suppressed naturally or otherwise. As a lot of autistic people are. Its not at all surprising no one makes an effort to hang out with someone who never recognises them, never contacts them, and if they do has nothing they want to say and has no response to anything you do or say, and shows no sign they even like you at all.

But people are still really cool. Wish my brain actually wanted anything to do with them sometimes. Would be nice.

[venstm]

oh bro i forgot i had an hour long doctors appointment today nfngnmgmgmfdmdmdm

[arisveah]

my hips are like glowsticks. that cracking and popping you just heard? yeah, its the fiberglass in my joints cracking and releasing a serum that will unlock my true power, bioluminescence. you're actually fucked.

[mbat]

no okay but why are all diagnosis forms worded in the worst ways possible so that no one can even tell what they mean. like, at least include examples or something. im remembering reading autism diagnosis things online and they always have one thats like 'repeats words and phrases' and i thought that meant just in general but it means fucking echolalia. like i know most people dont know that word but damn dude

[laneynoir]

wait applications don't need the exact dates???

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

[crystaltoa]

And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive Eight Year Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, (a symptom of ADHD, trauma, autism, schizophrenia etc.) you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.

[judas-is-scary]

Shout out to my fellow autistic divas who work in socially focused jobs. I work full time as a receptionist and it's truly crazy how much it is the exact opposite of what my brain is built to do.

Also shout out to the autistic divas who are good at their jobs. My work doesn't know I'm autistic and there like how are you so efficient?? What do mean you like filling out forms?? And I'm haha I'm just quirky 👀👀

Literally have to beat management back with a stick to stop them taking advantage of me though, no you will not increase my workload I already do the work of three people.

[realcowboysdrinkjuice]

i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited

[ladyjmontilyet]

college: hey, email us if you have any questions about repeating this module

me: well, i don't have any questions. all of the information they sent me is extremely straightforward. based on what i'm reading here i just need to show up to the class in september.

---

several months pass

---

me: hey, why am i not allowed to complete registration?

college: well, did you fill out the form? you know... the form we very clearly did NOT send you, nor did we ever inform you of its existence? you were supposed to email us for it!

me: i'm just going to cry, i think

[duskittycat]

re: last reblog, i feel like it's no coincidence that the place i'm currently working at didn't pad the job listing with a ton of extra fluff or any bullshit. sometimes small businesses are very good

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

me taking an aut!sm assessment form my psychiatrist sent me and I’m really feeling like

I wouldn’t be upset if I was aut!stic, mind, it would actually explain a lot, I’m just feeling severely called out by all these questions

[doctor-hopper]

@windcarvedlyre saving these tags because yeah they’re pertinent too! komaeda is just really methodical and tends to give everything his 110%. and i love that this is, like, one of his defining personality traits even in the OVA where he doesn’t have his normal beliefs. once he’s set his mind to hating talent, he WILL kabedon you and tell you how much he hates talent.

tangentially, and kinda personally again—god, at one of my first jobs i remember i had to do a little writeup for each day, and i overthought how to do them so hard and i didn’t have any direct examples to base mine off of, and so i assumed they must be terrible, but then one day my supervisor said “by the way you have been making the nicest most detailed most clear notes out of anyone”. and then i felt very silly. a lot of learning how to survive for me has been learning how to not give my 110%. no one is meant to give their 110% all the time! if you do that you end up burnt out. bad plan. in academia i burnt myself out after a while doing that, thinking “yay, this is for learning, i am doing it the best and that’s good because i want to learn”. but working jobs was what eventually confronted me with the fact that, you know, i don’t actually owe my boss everything lmao. and then maybe i don’t owe my teachers every single thing either, because yes i owe it to myself to learn, but also if i overthink everything i Will Die. again, bad plan.

lmao servant komaeda is when he’s old enough to have entered his “actually i can just give things 60% sometimes” arc. he is still very serious about his city maze death traps, mind you. but he can slack on his lard smoothies for middle schoolers

that post i just reblogged is relatable to me personally, but i think it is also kinda relevant to how i understand komaeda.

(taken very very messily from DMs a few months back when i was trying to explain something similar:)

i look at nagito and…sometimes i think of my autistic ass in a highly specific situation, that being: i have to fill out a form, and the instructions act like the answers are important, but a lot of the questions are so vague, and so i’m stressed because i am taking the form’s importance very seriously, and so finding myself unable to answer the questions sufficiently—but if i tell anyone else i’m stressed cause i don’t know how to answer a question, they say, “it doesn’t matter, just do it however”. (but i thought it was supposed to be important how i did it!)

…uh, i didn’t explain how this ties into nagito lmao…it ties into nagito because he is very consciously overthinking all the rules that the rest of society takes for granted and on intuition—AND, he is therefore prone to ending up even more obsessed with them than anyone else.

i’m not saying that’s the whole story of nagito or that he’s autistic even! just a thought. cause nagito has the whole extreme trauma business to go along with his reason for adhering to those things so closely anyways.

but he’s more conscious of the same ideals about talent that are still controlling everyone else unconsciously. and yet he is still bound by them.

where other people would just…act how they think about people with/without talent, manifest their biases, and not necessarily need to make justifications, nagito has consciously built himself around it and engages in constant conscious rationalization. and it’s because the world forces it on him literally and he takes it for its word.