#figuring out text effects is also fun even if its gonna be a pain in the long run

[layalu]

checking in for the first wip wednesday in forever cos i'm really liking how these graphics for a school project are coming along :]

plus some small animation tests under the cut (warning for glitch effects)!

[kurokoros]

liar liar | bakugou katsuki

Rated: M

Words: 9.4K

Pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

Summary: Of all the things he’s experienced working as a Pro Hero, Bakugou never expected his dick getting too big to ever be a problem, let alone one in his top ten.

Bakugou is hit with a strange quirk. You reap the benefits.

AN: This fic is 50% crack and 50% raunchy smut. I have zero explanations for this. Also big thanks to @lady-bakuhoe for ranting with me once about the fandoms weird level of hatred towards Bakugou, thus inspiring me to write something for him. I’m so sorry it was this.

Warnings: smut, language, oral sex (m receiving), dom/sub undertones, rough sex, degradation, spanking, choking, inappropriate use of quirks

***

Of all the things he’s experienced working as a Pro Hero, Bakugou never expected his dick getting too big to ever be a problem, let alone one in his top ten.

Kirishima glances at him out of the corner of his eye as they step into Bakugou’s office, red eyes narrowing in concern as he sees Bakugou’s gritted teeth and clenched fists. “Are you sure you’re okay, bro?” he asks, a little hesitant.

“I’m fine,” Bakugou practically snarls between his teeth. Fuck. The tingling sensation starts in his gut, heat spreading through his limbs, and he nearly swears aloud as the sensation shifts to his dick, his boxer-briefs getting uncomfortably tighter. Shit, he’s probably up to at least another inch by now. Thank god his pants are baggy.

Unfortunately, Kirishima isn’t so easily convinced. Brows furrowing, he looks Bakugou over slowly, searching for any lasting effects from their earlier scuffle with a few low rank villains. “You’ve been acting kind of… strange,” he settles on after an awkward beat of silence, “since you got hit by that quirk. You know, you probably should have gone to a—”

“I said I’m—” Bakugou cuts himself off as that tingle comes back. “I’ll be fine,” he corrects himself. The tingle goes away, and he almost groans in relief as his dick returns to its normal size. “Drop it, Kirishima.”

Kirishima holds his hands up in front of him, placating his huffy friend. “Okay, okay. I get it.” He backs off, still eyeing Bakugou warily as he pulls his phone from his pocket. He glances at the time. “Look, man, I gotta go. I have a date in twenty, and she’s gonna kill me if I’m late again.” His smile is apologetic, but exhausted.

“Whatever.” Bakugou tosses off one of his gauntlets, letting it clatter against the floor noisily. Breathing slowly through his nose, he peels off his mask as well, setting it down on his desk. It’s fine. Everything is fine. He can handle this. It’s just a really fucking annoying quirk that’ll probably go away on it’s own by the end of the day.

Another tingle stirs in his gut, and then his underwear tightens again.

Fuck. He can’t even lie to himself.

Just as casually as before, Kirishima says, “Yeah, and since I figured you shouldn’t be alone, I called you a babysitter,” as he types out a quick text on his phone. If that wasn’t bad enough, Kirishima calls out your name in a sing-song voice.

Bakugou drops his other gauntlet on his foot and whirls around. “You what?” he hisses, only half because of the pain. The sound of your name definitely doesn’t cause his heart to do something stupid like flutter in his chest. And his pants definitely don’t get snug around his crotch as he blatantly lies to himself. “Kirishima, what the fuck? Why would you call her?”

Taken aback by the outburst, Kirishima puts his phone away and shrugs. “I figured she’d make you feel better.”

“I don’t fucking want her here,” Bakugou tells him. Nothing happens in his pants. Like the bullshit quirk affecting his dick can’t decide if that’s a lie or not. Hell, Bakugou isn’t really sure either. Sure, he likes having you around, even if he’d never admit it. He likes seeing your pretty smile as you come flouncing into his office wearing one of those little skirts that make him want to bend you over his desk and—

He squeezes his eyes shut, banishing the thought before it can go any further and his pants grow any tighter from non-quirk related reasons.

On the other hand, you’re quite possibly the last person he ever wants to see him like this. Too bad the universe seems intent on fucking him over today.

“Nice to see you too, Bakugou.” 

The sound of your voice hits him like a lightning strike, still sweet despite the sarcastic inflection of your tone. Bolts of electricity shoot up his spine. In his chest, his heart pounds viciously against his ribs, and Bakugou’s shoulders tense as every one of his senses suddenly becomes a tune to you. Even from across the room, the scent of your perfume tickles at his nose—something floral or fruity that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s heavy and enticing and he tries not to shiver as it wraps around him.

He doesn’t dare turn to look at you as you take a step further into his office, determinedly staring at the wall and hoping you’ll leave with Kirishima. Yeah, un-fucking-likely.

When his silence persists, you roll your eyes and turn to Kirishima instead, the pinched expression on your face relaxing into a pleasant smile when you meet the eyes of the more friendly half of the duo. “Thanks for calling, Kiri,” you say, smoothing out your skirt.

A wide grin is the response you get. “Of course,” Kirishima says, stretching out and linking his fingers behind his head. “Figured he’d listen to you over anyone else.” He ignores the glare Bakugou sends his way, his lips twitching in amusement at the stark silence coming from the explosive blond.

You scoff. “Hardly, but I’ll try.” Casting a glance at Bakugou, you’re a little glad he seems intent on ignoring you, because it gives you the perfect opportunity to give him a slow once-over—for injuries, of course. He looks fine to you, a few superficial scrapes and bruises, but nothing severe enough for Kirishima to call you.

The tension in his shoulders is the first thing you notice. Bakugou is awkwardly hunched over himself in a way that isn’t like him at all. Usually, the Pro Hero exudes confidence that would border on cockiness if he didn’t have the skills to back it up, but right now he just looks... uncomfortable. What little of his face you can see is pinched, but not in annoyance; it’s more like pain, you realize, but then his expression melts into one of relief and you’re left baffled once again.

Before you can think too hard about it, your gaze wanders lower and you’re promptly distracted by his bare arms.

Kirishima clears his throat when you stare at Bakugou’s biceps a little too long.

“What happened anyway?” you ask, turning back to Kirishima. Your face feels warm, and by the way he grins you can tell he notices your faint blush. “You didn’t say much on the phone.”

He sobers a little as you bring the conversation back to the other Hero. The humor bleeds from his eyes, his shoulders drooping. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t have much time. We ran into a couple of villains on patrol. One of them caught Bakubro off guard and he got hit with their quirk. Wouldn’t let anyone check him out after.” He shrugs halfheartedly, looking at you apologetically. “You know how he gets.”

Don’t you ever. You’ve never met someone as stubborn as Bakugou before in your life. He can be a real pain in the ass when he wants, and you can’t blame Kirishima for his best friend being a dumbass.

You prop your hands on your hips, eyes narrowing in on Bakugou again. “How long has he been sulking?” you ask just loud enough for Bakugou to hear you.

Ruby eyes pin you with a heavy glower that would probably make anyone else piss themselves. Bakugou’s lip pulls back in a snarl, his teeth bared, and you ignore the pleasant tingle that shoots down your spine. “I’m not fucking sulking!” he snaps at you, making your eyes roll.

“Sure you aren’t.” Before he can start arguing with you, you turn back to Kirishima. “What do we know about this quirk?” 

“Nothing. Cops are questioning the guy now, but he’s not talking.” Kirishima gestures to Bakugou with his thumb. “And Ground Zero here keeps saying he’s fine.”

Across the room, Bakugou grumbles to himself under his breath, noticeably displeased with your lack of attention, but like hell he’s going to say anything about it. Jealousy is a bitter taste in the back of his mouth, and for once he can’t even pretend that’s not what it is as his glare shifts to Kirishima. Fuck, he wants you to look at him again. Pay attention to him.

The honesty is surprising to him, but he keeps his mouth shut and definitely doesn’t pout as you and Kirishima continue to chat like he isn’t even there. When it becomes clear that you aren’t going to end the conversation immediately, Bakugou huffs and turns around, glaring as he leans back against his desk, watching the two of you. His gaze skips right over Kirishima and lands on you, and he swallows back a frustrated groan when he finally gets a good look at you.

Fuck, you look good today. Unable to help himself, he’s absolutely shameless as he stares at your legs, your short skirt and high heels making them look even longer than usual. Bakugou grits his teeth as his mind drifts to those legs wrapping around his hips and yanking him closer. For once, he allows the thought to linger, lost in his own head.

“I see,” you murmur as your conversation with Kirishima comes to a close. With your lips pursed in thought, your gaze shifts back to Bakugou, only to find him already staring right back at you, watching you intently. Your pulse jumps under his piercing gaze, and it takes everything in you to break eye contact with him and smile at Kirishima instead. “I’ll take care of it. Have fun on your date, Kiri.”

Kirishima shoots you a megawatt smile and a thumbs up.“Will do! Good luck with this guy!” He pays no attention to Bakugou’s grumbling as he heads out the door, closing it quietly behind him, leaving you and Bakugou alone together in an office far away from other people.

Yeah, this should be fun.

You twist on your heels so that you’re facing Bakugou directly. Trying for a charming smile, you prop your hands on your hips. He glares at you and crosses his arms over his chest, clearly not planning on cooperating. And boy does it give you an excellent view of his muscled forearms, all tanned skin and silver scars from years of hero work. You wet your lips, suddenly thirsty. 

“Okay, Ground Zero,” you start, giddily noticing the way he puffs up at your use of his hero name, “are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do we have to do this the hard way?” Your voice lowers at the end, coming out as a husky whisper.

Bakugou’s throat bobs with a harsh swallow, and he grits his teeth against the pleasant warmth that curls in his chest. “Piss off,” he bites out, a low and dangerous edge to his voice that you easily ignore.

If you hadn’t known him for years, maybe it would be intimidating, but despite his gruff attitude and biting tone, you know he would never lay a hand on you. “Come on, Bakugou,” you try again, taking a step towards him as a small pout forms on your lips. “Please tell me? I just want to help and make you feel better.”

The breathy whine you let out paired with you wanting to make him feel better does absolutely nothing to help the situation going on in his pants.

His gaze slides to the side, avoiding your eyes as he tells you to “Just go home,” because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment there.

But you don’t back down. You can be just as stubborn as him when you want to be, and there’s no way in hell you’re leaving just so he can cling to his manly pride, or whatever it is he’s worried about. Clearly, asking nicely isn’t going to work. Honestly, you’d be more surprised if it did. “Hard way it is.”

Bakugou’s eyes widen, and his head snaps towards you just in time for you to launch yourself at him. It’s a bit difficult, between your skirt and heels, but you catch him off guard, and that helps. He tries to twist away at the last second, leaving you to cling to his back, limbs wrapping around him tightly. A surprised grunt escapes his at your sudden weight on him, but he doesn’t even stumble, letting you curl your body around him in a one-sided hug.

“Get off me, loser,” he growls at you, glaring at you over his shoulder. Despite his irritation, Bakugou makes no move to shake you off. In fact, one of his big hands latches onto your leg when you start to slip, allowing you to shift yourself for a better grip. He lets go of you just as quickly, standing stock still in the middle of the room while glaring at everything that isn’t you.

Your fingers dig into his shoulder where you’re grabbing him. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong!”

This time, he does try to shake you off, and you squeal as your grip starts to slip. “I’m fine!” he snaps at you, only to wince a second later.

Ever the opportunist, you don’t think twice before hooking your leg around him and going for his knees. Bakugou swears as he loses his balance, and somehow you manage to knock him to the floor using a grappling move that he taught you. He ends up rolling in time to land on his back, cushioning your fall aa your knees press against the floor on either side of his hips, straddling him as you pin him with a firm look. Long fingers grasp at your upper thighs, his thumbs grazing the hem of your skirt, and he lets you go just as quickly, as if you’ve burned him

Bakugou looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, but, again, he makes no move to shove you away, though he definitely could.

“Oh, yeah, clearly you’re just fine,” you reply, sarcasm laid on thick. Your hands are pressed against his chest for balance as you regain your bearings, and you can feel the angry breath he takes. Bakugou is warm and solid beneath you, hips pressed snug against yours. It feels way too good, but that’s not what you need to be thinking about at this moment. “Now stop acting like a baby and tell me what’s going on.”

Looking up at you, Bakugou sighs when your fierce look doesn’t relent. He mutters something under his breath that’s too low for you to make out clearly, then grimaces. “It’s nothing,” he tells you again, a harsh edge to his voice.

You pin him with a glare. “You got hit by a strange quirk, Bakugou,” you tell him slowly, contempt dripping from every word. “That’s not nothing.” The crack in your voice on the last word is what makes him drop the sour look on his face. You wince, fingers curling tighter around his shirt, like that might keep you grounded. All the fear you felt when Kirishima called you earlier comes surging back through you, and it feels like a blow to the ribs. You stare at his chest as you continue, the words bubbling up and out before you can stop them. “I know you. You’re too damn prideful to go see a doctor and admit something is wron—and that scares me sometimes, you know? One day you could get really hurt.” Slowly, you force your eyes up, meeting his stare with your own tentative one. “Please, just tell me what’s wrong. For me?”

Bakugou’s expression softens nearly an imperceptible amount. His glare smooths out. “Fuck,” he growls under his breath, trying to ignore the violent tug on his heartstrings that comes with that pleading look in your eyes. He’s always been a sucker for you, and you damn well know it too.

But he’s not going to give in this time.

The tingle that goes straight to his crotch proves him very wrong.

You freeze above him, body locking up as something big and hard presses against your inner thigh. “Katsuki,” you say, forcing yourself not to react aside from the widening of your eyes. “Is that your…”

“Yeah,” he replies, jaw clenched. His tone is nothing short of mocking when he tacks on, “You’re sitting on my cock, sweetheart.”

Well, shit. You blink at him owlishly, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as you try to think of literally anything to say in this situation that isn’t stupid, crass, or a blatant change of subject. It’s surprisingly hard to think with his bulge pressed up against your leg like this, and you blurt the first thing that comes to mind. “Are you turned on right now?” you ask incredulously, jabbing a finger into his chest. “I swear to God, Katsuki, I’m trying to be serious here, and you—”

He cuts you off. “I’m not fucking hard.” A pair of big, rough hands latch onto your thighs to keep you from squirming over his lap. “But if you keep moving around like that, I will be.”

“You liar.” A gasp sticks in your throat as he tightens his grip on your legs. By this point, you’re pretty sure you’re blushing, but honestly, you can’t find it in you to care when you are, in fact, basically sitting on his lap. Besides, Bakugou doesn’t look that much better. “If you were that big while soft, I’m pretty sure I would have noticed by now.”

Well that catches his attention. A smug smile stretches across his face. All teeth. “You spend a lot of time looking at it, angel?” Oh, this time he’s definitely mocking you. The palms of his hands slide up your thighs until his fingertips graze the hem of your skirt where it’s hiked partway up your legs, revealing a few tantalizing inches of your bare skin.

“Oh, no, you aren’t changing the subject,” you snap at him, sitting up a little straighter. “Why the hell is your dick so big, and what the fuck is going on?”

Your questions echo awkwardly through the otherwise silent room. For a tense moment, Bakugou just glares up at you. One of his eyes twitches slightly, his lips turned down in a grimace. You don’t relent, glaring right back at him. Eventually, one of you is going to have to give in, and it’s sure as shit not going to be you this time.

“Fuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head back against the floor. His fingers bite into your thighs when you shift on top of him, leaning a little closer. “It’s that dumbass villain’s quirk,” he sneers, baring his teeth in a snarl as he opens his eyes again. There’s nothing that could possibly prepare you for what he says next. “When I lie my cock gets bigger.”

You almost laugh. Almost. The deathly serious look in his eyes is the only thing that keeps you from bursting into a fit of giggles. And you believe him. You probably wouldn’t if you weren’t currently straddling his lap and sitting on his abnormally large cock. But, yeah. Sure. His dick gets bigger when he lies, and somehow that makes perfect sense.

“What, like some kind of kinky lie detector?” You almost suggest Pinocchio, but you doubt he’d take that well at all. 

Predictably, he makes a face at your comparison. “Sure. Whatever.”

Again, neither of you say anything, letting an awkward silence develop between you. While Bakugou just looks all around uncomfortable with the situation, your brow is pinched in thought. Honestly, this quirk seems like some bullshit. You can’t imagine what benefit anyone would get out of making someone’s dick grow when they lie, aside from the exact situation you’re currently in. You almost feel worse for the poor sap stuck with such a bizarre quirk than the Pro Hero currently lying between your legs.

A full body shiver runs through you, and every nerve suddenly becomes highly aware of the man beneath you. Every breath he takes moves his chest beneath your hands, and you can feel the rapid beating of his heart beneath your palm. The tips of his fingers ghost against your thighs, not quite touching you, like he isn’t sure what to do with his hands anymore. And, suddenly, all you can think about are those hands grabbing you by the hips and grinding you down against him.

Unbeknownst to you, similar thoughts are wreaking havoc on Bakugou. From where you’re sitting on top of him, he has a perfect view of your legs and chest, and every time you shift, the movement goes straight to his cock. He almost hisses between his teeth as your thighs tighten around his hips, which only presses the growing bulge in his pants harder against you. His fingers twitch against your legs. It would be so easy for him to roll the two of you over, pin you beneath him, and show you exactly what you do to him. Fuck you senseless until you—

“What are you thinking right now?”

The question is like a hard slap across the face. His eyes snap from the apex of your legs to your face, caught red-handed. There’s no way for him to get out of this one without his dick giving him away or an actual slap across the face. He chooses his traitor dick. “That I want you to get the fuck off me.”

You look entirely unimpressed when his dick moves between your legs, growing larger in seconds. “Liar,” you deadpan. You drum your fingers against his chest, unintentionally matching the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “Tell me the truth and maybe I’ll move.” Nevermind that he could definitely throw you across the room one handed if he really wanted to. Frankly, you’re a little surprised he hasn’t already, given your current situation. 

Not that you want to move right now. You’re quite comfortable where you are.

Bakugou’s tongue swipes across his bottom lip. Those ruby eyes drag down your body slowly, shamelessly drinking in the sight of you sitting on top of him. An unexpected lick of run runs along your spine; your breath catches. “You look really fucking sexy right now,” he tells you, and his hands grab your thighs again.

It takes a second for you to register his confession, though you can’t say you’re that surprised. “Huh. Never pegged you as a guy who wanted someone on top.” You can work with that.

His brow furrows. “You know, you’re taking this surprisingly well.”

“I work in quirk registration for the police,” you remind him, shrugging. “This isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve come across.” Honestly, you aren’t even sure it makes the top ten, but you keep that to yourself. You get the feeling he’d take that as some kind of challenge, and you don’t need that kind of stress in your life. “How long has it been like this?”

A shrug. “Shit, I don’t know.” Bakugou shifts beneath you, craning his neck to look at the clock on the wall. “Thirty minutes, maybe. Why?”

“Effects from quirks like this typically only last an hour or two,” you explain. “Maybe twenty-four hours at most, depending on how much training the user has.” Your head cocks to the side as you give him an entirely unsubtle once-over. “It sounds like he didn’t give you and Kirishima much trouble though. I’d put your... little problem at an hour and a half maximum. You should be fine.”

There’s a wicked look in his eyes. “Nothing little about it, babe.” His palms slide up your legs, rucking up your skirt even higher on his way to grab your hips. “Hour left, huh?” A low hum rumbles through his chest. “I can work with that.”

You freeze. “Katsuki, what are you—”

“Look,” he cuts you off with an irritated sigh, “I’ve liked you for a long time, so if you want to fuck right now, that’s fine with me.” Heartbreaking honesty shines in his eyes, only partially masked by a layer of annoyance and boredom, like he doesn’t care either way. The way his fingers dig into your hips tells a different story.

Your eyes widen at his crass confession, your lips parting as you stare down at Bakugou in shock. “Are you…” you hesitate, swallowing down the sudden lump in your throat as your fingers curl against his shirt. “Are you serious?”

Bakugou glares at you, but his faint blush gives him away. “You’re the one sitting on my magic cock, you tell me.”

You sit there for a good minute, just staring at him, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as you try to think of any kind of response. Eventually, you settle on, “That is, by far, the worst declaration of love I’ve ever heard.”

If you thought he was glaring before, it has nothing on the look he levels you with now. “Who fucking said anything about loving you, dumbass?” he snaps, huffing, cheeks turning an even darker shade of pink. “Like hell I do!” He grits his teeth as his dick tingles.

“Yeah, well, your magic cock reveals your deceit,” you mock him. “You’re such an emotionally stunted pain in the ass, Katsuki!” 

He opens his mouth—probably to start yelling about something—but you lurch forward and meet his mouth in a fierce kiss before he can say anything. He grunts in surprise and squeeze your hips, but kisses you back eagerly, immediately tilting his chin for a better angle. The hands that were on your hips don’t hesitate to move. One slides up your back to fist in your hair, pulling you closer as the other drops to your ass. A hard grope makes you gasp against his lips, your fingers clenching tighter in the front of his hero suit.

Before things can get too heavy, too fast, you pull back, leaving just an inch of space between your lips. He doesn’t let you go much further. “I like you, too,” you whisper against him. He stiffens as your fingers touch his bare chest where his hero suit doesn’t cover him.

His heart is pounding just as quickly as yours, and he’d never admit it, but he swears your little confession does something funny to his chest. All of it does. The heat of your breath. The gentle weight of your body on top of his. Something about you makes him feel inexplicably soft, and he wants to hate that feeling, but he still can’t lie to himself without his cock growing two sizes. And if he’s going to stuff you full of his cock, he wants it to be all him.

At least at first.

With the hand still tangled in your hair, Bakugou yanks you back down. Your lips mold against his perfectly, the space left between you nonexistent. When he kisses you it’s all teeth and tongue, and your lips part readily beneath his demanding touch. He makes a low sound of approval in the back of his throat, slotting his lips harder against yours. Using the hand cupping the back of your head, he adjusts you above him, tilting your chin until he finds a position he likes.

The dominating way he touches you makes you keen, and your quiet whimper is smothered by his tongue delving into your mouth to taste you. Your legs tremble on either side of his hips as the hand on your ass gropes you again. By now, your skirt is hiked halfway up your waist, and if anyone were to walk in they’d get a perfect view of your ass and the damp spot forming between your thighs.

You arch into his touch at the thought, moaning as his teeth tug at your lip.

By the time you pull away, you both have kiss-swollen lips.

When Bakugou recalls what you called him a moment ago, he chuckles, deep and throaty, and it sends a thrilled shiver up your spine. “I’ll show you a real pain in the ass later, sweetheart,” he promises, squeezing your ass cheek for good measure. The squeeze is followed by a sharp slap, and you lurch forward, a startled squeal slipping out of your mouth.

You glare down at him. Well, you try to. It’s a little hard to pretend to be mad at him when his hand comes up to rub the spot where he smacked you, which only presses your hips closer to his growing bulge. Your tone is dry when you say, “I’m sure you will.” And then, because he’s already propositioned you and has his hand on your ass, you grind yourself against his dick.

“Shit,” he grunts, grabbing your hips. His fingers bite into your skin, twitching like he doesn’t know if he wants to still you or shove you down on his cock. A slow exhale hisses through his teeth. “You tryin’ to be a cock tease?”

The satisfaction that bubbles up in you only feeds the damp heat between your legs. He’s hardly touched you, but you can already feel yourself getting wet just from the thought of him filling you. You brace yourself against him, palms pressed flat against his chest. “You want me to stop?” Purposefully fluttering your eyelashes at him, you slowly work your hand lower, fingers grazing over lean muscle until you stop at his waist, pressing down on his belt.

As your eyes start to follow the path of your hand, Bakugou reaches out and grabs your chin. A warning squeeze makes you mewl expectantly. “Keep talking, baby, and I'll put that mouth to better use.” The pad of his thumb traces your bottom lip. Before he can let go, you tilt your head into his touch, teeth barely grazing his finger as you nip at him. “Such a little brat,” he sneers. 

You’re thrown off balance when he sits up. His abdominal muscles flex against your stomach as he crushes you against his chest, and your hands fly to his shoulders, desperate for something to hold onto. Bakugou kisses you again, lips hungry and demanding as they press against yours, and you give him complete control. He tilts your chin, pulls your hair, bites your lips, and every touch makes you feel hazy and warm.

Anticipation churns in your stomach. Your hands slide over his shoulders, looping around his neck. He grunts when your wrist brushes against the side of his neck, and when you card your fingers through his hair and tug, he lets out a sound that goes right to your core.

The hand on your ass gives you another sharp spank. The motion jerks your hips against his, and you grind down against the hard cock rubbing your inner thigh. His fingers knead your ass and the back of your thigh, groping and squeezing and helping your hips along as you rock languidly over his lap. Each roll of your hips has his cock dragging across your damp panties, the head kissing your clit through the layers of your clothes. You shudder, lost in the feeling.

You’re only half aware of him moving, not noticing until the hand that was in your hair slips beneath your shirt to palm your breast. An appreciative squeeze has you arching into him, hips stuttering against his. Bakugou nips at your bottom lip hard enough to make you whimper, and when he pulls away you’re sure it’s swollen and flushed from his treatment.

But he doesn’t leave you for long. You’re barely given a moment to breathe before his mouth is on your jaw, your cheek, your chin. Bakugou trails heated, open-mouthed kisses down the side of your neck, only stopping when he finds a spot that has you lurching against him, a pretty little moan falling from your mouth. He laves attention to that spot, right over your racing pulse. Teeth dig into your sensitive neck, and your breath catches in your throat as he begins to suck, intent on leaving a mark. You don’t stop him as he works a hickey just below your jaw, eyes fluttering shut at the onslaught of sensation. 

Before leaving that spot, he drags his tongue across your neck to soothe the bruise he’s left behind.

Desire curls in your chest as a thought comes to mind, and you’re too slow to stop it from spilling out. “I wanna touch you,” you choke out as his mouth trails lower. Bakugou pauses, lips hovering just shy of your throat. The heat of his breath fans your damp skin, sending little pinpricks of electricity all the way to where your hips are grinding against his. You swallow, one hand fisting in the back of his shirt as his thumb brushes against the lacy cup of your bra.

“Already are, baby,” he says, partly muffled by your neck as he ghosts his lips against you. “Grinding against my cock like a little slut. Gonna get yourself off for me just like that?” He’s hiding a smirk. It’s clear what you want by the way your hips roll against his faster, grinding down harder as teasing touches turn desperate, but he wants to hear you say it. He wants you begging for his cock before he fucks you.

He ruts against you, alternating between squeezing your breast and ass. 

“Bakugou!” You try to sound reprimanding, but his name comes out as a breathy whine. There’s no way for you to get your hand on him with the way he has you pressed flush against his chest. And he’s definitely not going to make things easy for you.

As if he knows what you’re thinking, the man beneath you laughs. “You want it that bad, you better take it yourself, sweetheart.”

Huffing, you try to put some space between your hips, but his grip is firm. Bakugou swats your ass when you try to move, and you whimper as it forces your hips harder against his. You try a second time, and he pinches your nipple through the flimsy cup of your bra. Your head falls back with a moan, giving him greater access to your throat, and he smirks as he bites down on your soft skin.

Fine. You can play this game, too.

With a sharp grind of your hips, you rub your clit against him just right. Your back arches. Your thighs tense around his hips. “Ground Zero,” comes out as a needy whine against his ear. You feel him tense beneath you, his grip faltering for just a second. That’s all you need.

The momentary distraction is all you need to slide back on his thighs, putting just enough space between your hips to grab his belt and grind the heel of your hand against the massive bulge straining against his pants. Even through his pants you can feel how thick and long he is, and your pussy clenches at the thought of him fucking you senseless.

He grunts as you palm him, squeezing gently as you trace the outline of his cock. His mouth leaves your neck with a wet pop. “Shit,” Bakugou murmurs. Soft strands of his spiky hair tickle the side of your neck as he rests his head against you, reveling in the feel of your light touches.

Your fingers brush against the back of his neck, your palm grinding against him when his hips rock forward. Strong muscles flex beneath your thighs. Bakugou’s throat bobs with a harsh swallow. 

Unable to stop yourself, you duck your head, pressing your lips against the side of his neck. It’s hard to find an angle with the bracers around his neck, and your attention turns to the front of his throat instead. Bakugou groans as you kiss him, lovebites and lipstick stains left in the wake of your mouth. He lets you kiss and nip your way down to his collarbone.

Thank god for the low cut of his shirt, you think, biting down on his chest hard enough to leave a mark. At the same time, your fingers grasp at his belt, nearly snapping the buckle in your hurry to get your hand on him. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re aware of him saying something—calling you needy or naughty, you aren’t sure which—but you don’t care as you finally get your hand in his pants and grab his dick.

“You’re so big,” you murmur, eyes widening. The tips of your fingers don’t touch as you wrap your hand around his cock, stroking him languidly from base to tip. You can’t get a good look at him from your position, but you can feel every ridge and vein of his shaft, and you bite your lip at the sheer girth of him. “Is this from the quirk?” you ask him, swirling your thumb over the tip before dragging your hand back down, giving him a firm squeeze. You lean back a little, wanting to look at him, but Bakugou lurches forward to get his mouth on you again.

He groans against your ear, pressing a harsh kiss against the side of your jaw. “All me, babe,” he tells you, smug. For once, you really can’t blame him for being cocky. “Fuck, that feels good.” 

The way your soft hand slides against his shaft wrecks havoc on his brain, and Bakugou presses another heated kiss to your neck to smother a loud moan. He’s already painfully sensitive from having you hump his lap, and your tentative touch only makes him harder. And that damn quirk didn’t help at all. After over a half hour of that bullshit cock tease, he’s just aching to bury himself in your dripping pussy.

Your thumb traces the thick vein on the side of his cock, pressing against it gently before twisting your hand. The sudden change in angle and the way you squeeze him have a low sound tearing from his chest, and then your hand is being yanked out of his pants. Bakugou’s fingers clench around your wrist in a vice grip, and you wince at the mild sting.

“Get up,” he demands, nearly growling. His fingers are digging into your ass hard enough to leave faint bruises, but you don’t care. When you hesitate, he releases you only to slap the back of your thigh. “Now.”

You pussy clenches at the pain that quickly dissolves into pleasure. “What’s wrong, Katsuki,” you can’t help but tease, hoping to get a reaction out of him, “afraid you’ll cum too fast?”

He doesn’t spank you again, though his palm does press against your reddening ass cheek in a way that speaks of a warning. “Don’t make me tell you again, baby.”

It takes another second before you shift off his lap, your legs quivering as you stand. You almost consider ignoring the command. Almost. But it doesn’t take much for you to decide you’d rather see what he has planned for you.

Your thighs rub together as Bakugou rises from the floor in one fluid motion, years of training making him silent, almost catlike. He reaches for you as soon as he’s standing, towering over you, an imposing figure. The scattering of small marks on his throat makes you grin, but the smile is wiped from your face as he grabs your chin roughly between his fingers and forces you to meet his eyes.

Ruby red and blown wide with lust, the look in his sharp gaze makes your breathing hitch. A wet crackling sound leaves your mouth as your lips part for him. His thumb grazes your bottom lip. “Such a dirty fucking mouth,” he growls.

You stumble a little as he starts walking you backwards, not touching you aside from the firm grip he has on your jaw. You go willingly, eyes on his. Excitement has your stomach flipping, a nervous flutter in your belly, and you gasp when your back hits the side of his desk, the cold wood pressing against your skin where he’s tugged at the hem of your shirt. 

Bakugou’s thumb delves past your lips, dipping into your wet mouth, and your lips wrap around him greedily. Sucking gently, your teeth press against his skin possessively, tongue laving attention to his thick digit. With his free hand, Bakugou grabs the front of your plain blouse and yanks it open, careful not to rip any of the buttons. You let your shirt fall to the floor, wriggling a little as it sticks around your elbows. He reaches up to palm your breast, humming in approval once he sees your pretty bra.

“Get on your knees, baby,” he tells you, pulling his thumb from your mouth and smearing your spit across your lips, watching them glisten. “I want to see your mouth on my cock.”

You do as you’re told, practically shaking with anticipation as you drop to your knees for him. Now that you’ve gotten a feel for his cock, you’re desperate to have him inside you. Your mouth. Your pussy. It doesn’t matter which. Any thoughts of playing coy or being a brat disappear into the back of your mind as he pins you with a harsh stare. Bakugou pets your hair, threading the soft strands through his fingers to hold you still. 

You bite your lip as his free hand drops to his waist, Bakugou shoving his pants and boxers down just low enough for his cock to spring free. The size makes you swallow. He’s bigger than you thought. Thicker. And you remember how your hand couldn’t wrap all the way around him. Your thighs clench, rubbing together as a dull ache builds between your legs.

He doesn’t waste his time. Shifting forward, he palms himself, lazily stroking his cock with his own fingers, just out of your reach. When you try to lean forward, he pulls your hair, forcing you back again. “Such a little slut,” he murmurs, allowing the head of his cock to press against your wet lips, his hips slowly rocking back and forth. Your tongue flicks out to taste him, and he groans. “There you go,” he says, brushing a few stray strands of hair away from your face before he starts pushing his cock into your mouth.

You immediately close your lips around him, bobbing your head forward as much as his tight grip will let you. Bakugou feeds you his cock, sliding into your wet mouth slowly as you start to suck, letting you adjust to just how fucking thick he really is. His girth has your jaw stretched wide, forcing you to breathe slowly through your nose. You glance up at him.

“That’s it, angel,” he groans as you bob your head again, “suck my cock.” His hips rock forward in a shallow thrust; his eyes lock on your lips, stretched obscenely around his length. Wet trails of saliva stick to his cock as you pull back to swirl your tongue around the head. 

Whimpering around him, you suck harder, swallowing around him, anything that might pull another filthy moan from his mouth. Your hands grab his thighs for balance, your fingers digging into his legs as you try to pull him closer.

You’re rewarded with a low moan rumbling from his chest. Bakugou’s eyes slip shut for a second, his head tilting back in raw pleasure. “Figures you'd be a perfect little cock sucker,” he says under his breath, almost too low for you to hear him. “I bet you want me to fuck your face, huh, baby?”

You settle for moaning instead of nodding, watching him through your eyelashes as he pants above you. 

“Fuck.” A long, hissing exhale escapes through his teeth, and his hand tightens in your hair just a little bit as he watches you work his cock. You look so fucking pretty with your mouth wrapped around him, your lips slick with saliva as you take him deeper into your mouth. There are tears beading at the corners of your eyes. “Fuck,” he says again, “you feel so good.” He grunts. “How long have you been thinkin’ about sucking my cock, babe?”

You flush under his gaze, unable to answer with your mouth full of his dick, but the answer must be clear as day on your face. You don’t know what it is he’s thinking about, but you swear his cock gets bigger in your mouth, that strange quirk making him thicker so that you’re nearly choking on him.

Bakugou holds your head still as he starts to rock his hips; he moves slowly at first, his thrusts shallow and even, but he quickly picks up speed when you whine around his cock. It isn’t long before he’s fucking your mouth, thrusts as rough as you’d expect from someone like him. His cockhead brushes against the back of your throat, his hips stuttering as he holds you like that, your lips pressed nearly against the base of his cock.

Somehow, you manage to keep your eyes on him. You force your throat to relax and swallow around him. His eyes almost roll back at the sensation, but he keeps his ruby gaze locked on you, watching how well you take him. He can only imagine how good you’re going to take his cock, too. He speeds up again, groaning as the pressure in his gut starts to build.

His cock pulls from your mouth with a wet sound, and you cough, sucking in greedy mouthfuls of air. Bakugou drags you off the floor, and your startled gasp is cut off by his hand wrapping around your throat. He doesn’t squeeze, unfortunately, just holds his palm there. The next thing you know, you’re being shoved against the nearest wall, your cheek pressed to the chilly surface as Bakugou all but rips off your skirt, leaving you in just your underwear and shoes. 

The fabric pools on the floor in a crumpled heap, and Bakugou kicks it aside in order to spread your legs from behind. You brace your hands against the wall, ass out, and he’s on you in a second.

Teasing is thrown out the window as he finally—finally—touches you. One of his hands reaches around you to grope your chest, palming your breast roughly before shoving the cup of your bra aside to tweak and pinch your nipple. You’re a panting, whining mess by the time he gets his hand between your legs. Two thick fingers drag over the crotch of your panties, and he actually laughs when he feels how wet you are. “Shit, you get that horny just from sucking my cock?”

Blearily, you nod, pressing your pussy closer to his hand. Bakugou shoves your panties to the side, fingers skimming through your wetness before rolling over your clit. You nearly sob at how good it feels to have him touch you. It’s like his hands were meant to please you, big and rough, his calloused fingers providing the perfect amount of friction. Each precise stroke of his fingers feeds the knot in your belly, keeping you right on the edge of coming undone.

“You’re gonna feel so fucking good on my cock,” he tells you removing his fingers from your clit to squeeze your ass. His cock quickly replaces his hand between your thighs, his thick length rubbing against your slick pussy, the head bumping against your clit with every stroke. Bakugou lets go of your breast; his hand slaps against the wall beside your head for balance. “Pretty cunt squeezing around me. That what you want?”

“Please. Oh, please,” you mumble. Anything to get him inside you. It almost hurts how turned on you are right now. From the corner of your eye, you see him reach for the hem of his shirt, about to pull it off. “Don’t!”

Bakugou goes absolutely still at your sharp cry. The only movement is his eyes snapping up to meet yours, flooded with concern as he checks to see if he’s hurting you.

But you whimper, trying to shove yourself back on his cock. “Don’t take it off,” you clarify breathlessly, legs quivering with the effort of holding yourself up.

The concern bleeds from his eyes, and they’re taken over by something dark and hungry instead as he realizes what you mean. He thrusts his cock between your thighs, your slick covering his cock as it drips from you. Your eyes flutter as he pressed against your clit again. “Don’t take what off?” He wants to hear you say it.

And you’re so painfully aroused that the words come spilling out of your mouth before you can stop him. “Your costume,” you choke out around a loud moan. “I want you to fuck me while you’re wearing your costume.” That’s one dirty little fantasy you’ve had for a while, maybe ever since you met him. The thought of him fucking you while he’s still in costume is almost too much, but god do you want it badly.

“That so?” he drawls. His hand drops from his shirt back to your ass cheek, groping you before spreading you from behind. He takes a step back, ignoring your whine, and whistles when he gets a good look at your dripping slit. Bakugou tugs your hips back, forcing your back to arch for him. “What a naughty little slut. You got a thing for heroes, baby?”

Just you, you think, but all you can do is moan his name. “Bakugou.”

You cry out as he slaps your ass. “No, no, no,” he repremends. “That's not what you call me.”

“Katsuki, please,” you manage to whine around a harsh swallow.

He spanks you again. “Come on, angel, you know what to say.” It takes a second for it to click, but when it does you blush. “Fuck, look how wet you are.” He chuckles as he looks at your glistening thighs. Another love tap lands on your reddening ass. “You like it when I spank you?”

“Yes,” you mewl.

He spreads your legs open wider. “Yes, what?”

You take a deep, shuddering breath, cheek pressed against the wall in front of you. “Yes, Ground Zero.” Your tongue runs across your bottom lip. “Sir,” you tack on.

“Good girl.” 

There’s no warning as he adjusts himself behind you, cock slamming into you hard enough to steal your breath. There’s no resistance, you're so wet. You pussy clenches around him, your walls sucking him in deeper. That’s all it takes for an orgasm to rip through you, the knot in your belly snapping so fast that all you can do is let out a silent scream as you slump forward against the wall.

Bakugou is equal parts shocked and amused as you try to milk his cock, and he grits his teeth as his dick twitches inside of you, almost pulling him over with you. “Fuck,” he laughs. “You cum just from me filling you up?” You whimper and nod. “Shit, you’re so fucking tight.” 

He presses you closer to the wall, and his arm slips beneath your knee, lifting your leg and holding you open. Your thigh burns from the stretch. His cock drags along your walls slowly before, only the tip left inside before he thrusts back into you, reaching deeper.

He picks up a steady pace, slamming into you over and over. You’re already so sensitive from your first orgasm, and little gasps and whines keep falling from your mouth with every brutal thrust as Bakugou finds your sweet spot, hitting it perfectly as he pounds you. He’s thick and hard inside you, even bigger than he was in your mouth, and your eyes widen when you realize he’s doing it on purpose. “How big can you get?” you gasp, moaning as his cock expands inside you, filling you up completely.

“As big as you fucking want me,” he snarls back, fucking you faster, hiking your leg up higher.

All you can do is hold on and take it.

You don’t know how much time passes, the only sounds are your heavy breathing and his harsh panting against your ear. Sweat drips down your back where he’s sliding over you, and his fingers bite into your thigh as he almost loses his grip. “You know whose office is on the other side of this wall?” he asks suddenly. “Answer me, baby!” A particularly harsh thrust follows the demand.

“No, Sir,” you pant.

“Fucking Deku.” He grits his teeth as that now familiar tingle goes right to his cock, but you don’t seem to notice the lie. “You think he’s in there right now? His desk is right on the other side.” You pussy squeezes around him, and Bakugou moans against the side of your neck. “I bet he can hear you in here panting like a whore as I fuck your slutty little cunt.”

Your back arches into him, the revelation reigniting the fire he lit inside you. That knot comes back, just as tight as before, and you tremble as you realize he’s going to make you cum again. “Ground Zero,” you whine.

He lets go of your thigh, but keeps your knee hooked around his elbow. His hand snakes around your hips to rub your clit, and you jerk against him. “He’s got some new intern, too. Some little high school brat.” A high-pitched, needy sound falls from your mouth. “Fuck, you sound so pretty when you moan my name.” He rolls your clit harder between his fingers, and the heat rolling from him is so sweltering that it’s hard to breathe. “Shit, you’re gonna be filling this kid’s fantasies for weeks. He’s probably gettin’ off to you right now.” His cock gets bigger inside you; his hips grind against you harder. “But your pussy’s mine, angel. Got that?”

You nod, delirious.

And, fuck, he just doesn’t stop talking. “You gonna cum?” he asks, fingers moving faster over your clit. “Gonna cum from thinking about Deku and his intern listening to me fuck you?” You shudder and gasp, shoving yourself back on his cock in a weak attempt to match his brutal pace. “That’s it, baby, cum on my fat cock. Let everyone know who’s making you feel so good. I wanna hear you scream so fucking loud that everyone in this goddamn building knows my name.”

Bakugou pinches your clit. Your eyes slam shut, body locking up as he throws you into another powerful climax. “Katsuki!” you shriek, his name ripping from your throat in a raw scream.

This time, he doesn’t hold himself back. A series of harsh thrusts drag out your orgasm until you’re sobbing, a few tears slipping out and rolling down your cheeks. His cock twitches, swelling, and he shoves inside of you as deep as he can go before cumming inside you, his thick seed filling you up and dripping down your thigh.

He doesn’t pull out, leaning his head against your shoulder as you both try and catch your breath. Bliss washes over you as he kisses your neck, mumbling a string of garbled praises against your ear.

You blush when something he said hits you full force, finally able to process it now that he’s not fucking you senseless. “Midoriya,” you gasp, trying to crane your head around to look at him.

Bakugou presses more of his weight against your back, slowly lowering your leg back to the floor. His hands grasp your hips when your legs threaten to collapse beneath you. “Bastards office is on the other wall,” he says, calming you down. “‘Sides, it’s his day off.”

Relief floods through you. “You have absolutely no filter, do you?”

He shrugs, kissing across your cheek. “I don’t see you complainin’.”

You laugh a little breathlessly. “You made me cum twice,” you remind him. “I don’t give a shit what you were saying.” You shift in his embrace, wincing as his cock moves inside you. Fuck, you’re sensitive.

He stills you. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asks. When he sees your obviously confused look, he gives you a shallow thrust, his cock still hard inside you. “Oh, angel, we’ve still got thirty minutes, right? We’re just getting started.”

[smallblip]

You asked, I deliver! Part II of Accidental baby acquisition💖 I lost one of the asks 😩 but anon who asked about baby Udo, I named the baby in your honour! Saddle up cowboys! I’m not good with sequels but here we are-

Babygate:

the scandal that implies that a certain boy band member cheated on his partner (another band member) and had a kid even when the mom was never pregnant.

- urban dictionary

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. Life is definitely picking up. Pieck still sends him excerpts of her dirty fanfiction to proofread, Bertholdt is still doing all he can to “retire at 30”, Annie might have eloped with said boyfriend. But he’s seeing Porco on the regular now, he’s really cute, he’s got a nice ass. Reiner can’t complain.

He’s also recently donated his Levi Ackerman standee. Only because it’s getting increasingly hard to reconcile the fact that he has a life sized cutout of his colleague’s boyfriend in his room.

What he can complain about is said colleague (and friend) dropping bombs on him. He’s one of the moderators of one of the bigger No Name servers. Sometimes he wonders if that’s a conflict of interest because, well, he knows the guy on a first name basis. But today he has other concerns. He sees his notifications blowing up and decides to go on the No Name server. And lo and behold. There’s a paparazzi shot of Levi and Hanji with a stroller taking a walk in a new channel called “MYSTERY FAMILY?”.

He cancels his plans with Porco. “Don’t text me for the next few hours, got a fire to fight.” He clicks send, and feels kinda bad, so he sends Porco really dank meme to appease him. (That doesn’t stop Porco from doing exactly what Reiner told him not to do and demanding an explanation every five minutes).

He forces himself to take a deep breath before texting Hanji-

“Hanji… I don’t mean to be rude but…

WHAT THE FUCK?”

—

So here begins babygate. A conspiracy theory that took the Internet by storm.

“Levi Ackerman had a secret marriage! He was keeping this from us from the start!”

“It’s a publicity stunt to keep No Name relevant during their hiatus!”

“It’s an elaborate scheme by the company to punish Levi for announcing the hiatus without their knowledge!”

“Levi’s mystery partner was sent by the lizard people to take control of his mind and produce half-lizard, half-human hybrid babies to take over the world! What a bitch!” (This is Hanji’s favourite).

And the internet’s favourite- this is all an elaborate scheme to cover up the scandalous love affair between Levi and Eren- the band’s guitarist.

“What the fuck?” Levi had said during dinner once, to which Reiner had to swallow his food and pretend he never read or actively looked up ereri content. Yes. Reiner knows the name of their ship.

Levi hadn’t been too worried before, but when pictures of them shopping for baby stuff leaked online, something snaps. Something snaps and Erwin tells him he needs more time to figure out the biggest PR crisis in No Name history.

It’s Levi. Levi is the PR crisis.

So in the meantime, no shock reveals, no more social media, (if possible) no more leaving the house with pregnant girlfriend in tow. “Don’t do ANYTHING.” Erwin had said, “especially not you!” Erwin had directed that at Eren, who suggested he makes an announcement. Erwin shudders. He remembers all the past scandals they got themselves into just because Eren, bless him, didn’t know when to shut up.

“I’m sorry…” Levi says to Hanji when they’re cuddled up on the couch watching a documentary on whale migration.

“Huh?” Hanji says, voice muffled through her incessant sniffling because “whales are delivered tail first, Levi! They wear their mothers like hats!”

He apologises for putting her through the mess that is him and his job. And Hanji smiles at him. He wonders if their kid will look like her. He’s hoping they would.

“Levi…” Hanji sighs, taking his face in her hands, “that night at the bar I thought to myself ‘this man has a face I would risk it all for’… I think this counts within the realms of ‘all’”

Levi scoffs, but a smile is threatening the corners of his lips. Erwin’s nagging over the phone fades a little and he sinks a little lower into the couch. He sighs one more time for good measure before saying-

“So… you wanna know which my favourite babygate theory is?”

—

“And you’re really not bothered by all this?” Reiner asks, in an emergency meeting that he had scheduled into her calendar. He hates that he’s packing things into her already busy schedule when she’s about to pop but, he figures it’s better now than when the baby’s actually out. He had booked a meeting room and everything, figuring if he projected some of the crazy shit they’re saying on the fan boards up on screen, Hanji would start taking this seriously. Because if Reiner knows anything, it’s that the fans will do anything to keep their ship afloat.

He scrolls past another post on the lizard people and Hanji gets him to pause.

“I mean… A little?” Hanji pinches her fingers together.

“Hanji…” Reiner sighs, “you and Levi discuss and rate babygate conspiracy theories you find online I don’t think you’re taking this seriously at all…”

Hanji looks at Reiner- an absolute state of panic. And she considers panicking for a moment. She’s read articles dissecting babygate and although they’re absolutely batshit, Hanji appreciates how well-researched they are. Which is a little scary. To be fair to Levi, he’s been trying to get her to worry. “I can’t keep you safe all the time, you have to be careful” like he’s going off to war somewhere. But it’s not in Hanji nature to worry about things like this. She’s a researcher at a lab who lived an ordinary life up until the point the universe hit her with a-

Sike! Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy! What are you gonna do about it?

And now she knows what headcanons and lemons are, and she really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. So Hanji decides, she’ll do nothing. She’ll go on indulgently long walks Levi in tow, she’ll talk his ear off about work. And like a good girlfriend, she’ll listen to his demos (and enjoy them) and tell him “are you sure anger rhymes with danger?”.

“I don’t really know how to worry about anything beyond our samples getting contaminated…” Hanji says, sheepish. Reiner sighs. He doesn’t want to be a wet blanket on Hanji’s life. He wants to be fun Reiner. Cool as a cucumber. Reiner who manages to make it through dinner at Hanji’s without having to excuse himself to hyperventilate in her bathroom because Levi is right there. And he’s so afraid that he might just be able to read his mind and find out he had looked up Levi Ackerman x y/n fanfiction once in his foolish youth (youth being approximately four months back)

Reiner shudders.

“Yeah okay… That’s um… That’s cool… Right?” He says.

Hanji shrugs.

—

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what?

You go into labour of course, with a matter of fact- “oh. Look Levi. The water broke.” All while refusing to leave the house until you demolish that amazing sandwich he made for you. You go into labour and you yell and grunt like a beast as you squeeze the life out of your baby daddy because he kinda deserves it. You both kinda deserve this pain. Take it as heavenly punishment for being horny and stupid if you will.

And in the middle of it Hanji thinks huh, this feels like a mix of a reality TV show from MTV and a badly written fanfiction. Except Hanji isn’t a teen mom and she’s too old for self-insert fiction that involves a lead singer of a popular band.

But Levi is here, and he doesn’t complain one bit even though he looks like he’s about to pass out. So as far as drunken one night stands go- this is pretty damn aspirational.

The baby enters the world with a huge cry.

“Kid’s got a huge set of lungs…” Levi says, but his own voice is quivering.

“Just like her dad…” Hanji smiles.

As he watches Hanji fall asleep with their baby on her chest, Levi thinks fuck it. Fuck keeping this under wraps. Fuck the fans and them enjoying how Eren gets on his nerves. Fuck Erwin and his “Levi. You’re giving me a headache. You are the cause of this headache.” Because the baby has Hanji’s nose and his eyes and he loves them more than anything in the world.

He snaps a picture of them and tags bigdaddyzoë-

“Welcome to the world, my love.”

—

Reiner can’t help the tears that well in his eyes after seeing the picture Hanji had sent him of the baby-

“He says hi to his favourite uncle!” Was the caption, and Reiner could only reply with a crying cat meme and an incoherent text that Hanji favourites.

He’s on the bus on the way to the hospital when his phone buzzes incessantly. It’s Porco.

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK.”

“LEVI ACKERMAN IS HANJI ZOË’S BABY DADDY?”

“HANJI ZOË MY PHD SUPERVISOR?”

“LEVI ACKERMAN OF NO NAME?”

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK?”

He sends a reply at the entrance of the hospital-

“Welcome to my world”

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. He’s one of the moderator of one of the bigger No Name servers, so he can block and remove people at his discretion. Some days he lets it get to his head. It makes him feel like a king. But today, he’s putting out fires.

Erwin decided their PR strategy was absolutely no strategy, because “they’re zooming in on the pixels Levi. Once they doubt the pixels, they won’t believe anything we’re saying”. With that. Babygate has officially taken on a life of its own. Eren still sends Levi babygate articles to annoy him, and to Hanji because she asked very nicely. Hanji thinks Erwin’s strategy makes sense, Levi thinks it’s just lazy. But Erwin framed a certificate that says “survived a PR crisis (sort of)” that Hanji had insisted be hung up on their wall, so that closes one chapter. Besides, Eren has been spotted going out on dates with a mystery girl. Which has the double effect of diverting attention away from Levi and exacerbating babygate because “see? Told you the company’s doing all they can to prove they’re not together!”

“Can’t you keep it in your pants?” Levi had thrown at Eren, to which he had responded cleverly with a-

“Could’ve said the same for you!”

Touché…

“See? That can’t be Levi! Look at how he’s smiling!”

“That can’t be a baby! Looks like an animatronic to me!”

“Do they even make animatronics that realistic?”

Reiner pins his “no slander” rule- one day they’ll get it. Or at least he would’ve gotten rid of all the people that don’t.

“Who’s this bigdaddyzoë anyway?”

“Maybe she isn’t real? Company probably invented her…”

“Heard she’s a crazy groupie who got knocked up…”

“Heard she’s hot…”

… several people are typing

—

“So… I heard from Reiner you were defending my honour in the server?” Hanji quirks an eyebrow.

Levi shrugs. Whatever goes down in the server stays between Leviackerman173810 (leviackerman and all 173809 permutations of said username had already been taken) and the hundreds of people who haven’t quite figured out he’s the real deal. Besides, Erwin has issued him three warnings so it’s best to lay low for now.

“My hero…” Hanji chuckles, pressing a kiss on Levi’s head. Below them, baby Udo wriggles and yawns against the fabric of Levi’s shirt. Cute.

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what? You look at your son and know he’s going to break hearts like his father of course. And if you’re Levi, you pray to god he never asks about babygate because Hanji has read up enough about it to be considered a connoisseur.

One day the internet will break when they find out the identity of bigdaddyzöe. But for now baby Udo has his parents wrapped around his tiny fingers and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of him being the spawn of every typical band member x y/n fanfiction. Or the centre of a very popular, very absurd, yet strangely believable internet conspiracy theory. Or the canon plot that has sunk one of the biggest No Name ships. And that’s okay.

[mashiraostail]

Aizawa gets hit with a quirk during battle and it turns him into a cat, he doesn't know what to do so he goes to his partner's house. His partner sees Catzawa sitting at her doorway and doesn't know it's him, so she basically catnaps him, thinking he's a stray, and takes care of him the rest of the week? uwu

omg this got kinda long but it was really fun to write fdlsk i hope you enjoy! >:3

You’d actually had a sort of late-night, later than you desired anyways, you were excited to just go home and get some rest.  As you approached your doorstep you notice a black fuzzy blob on your welcome mat. “Well hello there..” You crouch down to the cat and offer a hand, “and who are we? Huh?” You scratch the back of its neck, laughing at the loud purring it replies with.  “You are adorable.” You scoop it up, “if you’ve got an owner the time to run away is now, or else you’re mine. That cool?” The cat just settles into your chest, purring contentedly. “I’m taking that as a yes.”  You set your things down but keep the cat in your arms, it doesn’t seem to mind.  “What should I name you?” You wonder aloud. “Oh I bet Shouta will have a good idea.” You sit down on the couch with the cat in your lap, taking a photo of it to send along to the aforementioned man, “he loves cats. Maybe I should wait and surprise him with you.” You hesitate to send the photo, “I guess in the meantime I’ll just call you...” You look around for some inspiration, “I guess Eraser is pretty fitting huh? You know now that I mention it you sort of even look like him.” You press your thumb between the cat's eyes, “grumpy.” Its reply is just a meow.  Aizawa isn’t too worried honestly, once he figured out what had happened and gets a handle on things he concludes this weird quirk will only be effective for a few hours to a day max. At least his quirk was still effective in cat form, though the cops were probably confused to find a bound up villian and no hero to claim them. He didn’t care much and with that in mind he just mozzies his way over to your place figuring you’ll take care of him, you always do. And he was right, you were happy to let him rest on your chest while you lounged around on the couch, watching TV late into the night, you scratched up his back with your nails and cooed at him every time he nestled closer. He knows it was a villain quirk that hit him but he’s sort of thankful, honestly, this is the life.  “Alright.” You sigh and he rises and falls with the breath in your chest, “how’s bed sound Eraser cat?” You’re mildly concerned you haven’t heard from Shouta, normally he let you know when he returned and left for patrols, even if you were asleep. You figured his phone was dead or forgotten, or that Hizashi was accompanying him tonight.  He is very content to curl up next to your chest and snooze there peacefully for the whole night. He could sleep for days if anyone asked him, you were warm and nice and sure he wasn’t particularly clingy but he couldn't deny how nice it felt to be coddled on occasion.  Your bright laughter and the way you flick water at him and shoo him away when he sneaks into the shower the next morning is also welcome.  “I thought cats hated water!” You snort flicking a towel at him, “get out mister, this isn’t for cats, I’ll give you a bath in the sink tonight if you really insist.”  Though a few days pass and he’s still a cat, and what’s worse is you’re going crazy with worry.  “I’m sorry, no.” He’s watching from his perch on your counter as you shake your head at Nemuri, Hizashi, and Nezu, “He normally calls me at least once a day if we aren’t together but I haven’t even gotten a text let alone seen his face..” You look forlorn, there’s a deep worry line between your eyebrows. “It’s alright. Thanks for the help.” Nemuri squeezes your shoulder, “I’m sure he just got wrapped up in something a little bigger than usual.”  Hizashi nods in agreement, “we’ll let you know if we find out anything else, okay?”  “Thank you Zash. I’ll call you guys if he turns up around here.” You squeeze his friend's hand, as comforting as he was trying to be you could tell he was equally upset and worried.  “We appreciate that.” Nezu nods, “he’s a very capable hero, I’m sure we have nothing to worry about.”  “Say, when did you get a cat?” Nemuri takes notice of the feline and you jump.  “Oh you guys haven’t met him yet! I think he was a stray..” You scoop him up and bring him back to the trio, “his name is Eraser cat. Well, it was temporary, I was going to ask Shouta to name him but-” Your voice breaks a little, “well...you know.”  “He’s very cute.” Nemuri laughs a little but it doesn’t do much to mask how upset she seems as well, “don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.” She insists and you nod, “I hope so.”  When his hero costume and goggles turn up 2 days later you're inconsolable. Aizawa is trying everything he can think of to get you to realize what’s happened. He watches helplessly on the couch as you cry into Hizashi’s shoulder. Nemuri on your other side rubbing your back, though they each look equally heartbroken.  You hadn’t been sleeping much at night since their first visit, he was used to you staying up to the sunrise scratching his back, and playing with his ears. But at least you didn’t cry. Now you cried. Even watching you sob into Hizashi’s shirt was enough to make him let out a warbled meow and slink over to your lap.  “Oh I’m okay-” You let out a wet laugh, “what a good cat you are..wanna cheer me up?” You hug him, “you’re so cute.” Your voice breaks again, “Shouta would have just love you-” And as quickly as your tears had stopped warbly cries had begun again.  Nemuri and Hizashi don’t leave until it’s dark out. He watches the various people that come in and out the next day, Toshinori comes with some sweets and Aizawa’s class. You supposed it was nice to see them if only a bit painful at first. But after the discomfort in your chest settles they do pretty well at cheering you up, offering you all the funny, sweet, or scary stories about their teacher that they can think up.  Sekijiro comes after with Ryo, the pair is happy to sit quietly with you while you cry alternating between who lets you rest on their shoulder and who rubs your back. Kugo and 13 come with some food and finally Emi with plenty of teary-eyed attempts to pull some more laughter out of you.  After it’s all over he’s curling up on your chest where you lay on the couch.  “Don’t worry.” You murmur, you noticed the cat didn’t seem to like it when you cried, “I think I’m all cried out.” Your eyes are puffy and red as your hands cover his back. “Wanna hear about Shouta?” You ask and the cat’s ears perk up. “Yeah? I could tell you some things about him.” Your voice breaks a little at his name, “he was a good guy, a little grumpy, but..” You sigh, “he was just a softie.” You close your eyes, “and he really liked cats. He would have been so excited to have you. He was really strong too-” You bite back some more tears, “whatever...whatever did this to him I..I have to say I’m a little scared to see what it’ll do next.” The cat stands up and hops away, you laugh a little, “you’re so aloof.” You watch the black furball turn the corner and disappear.  When he returns you’re about to doze off, but he jumps onto your stomach, you huff. “Excuse you. Hey!” You sit up,  “what’s in your mouth?!” You try to pry his jaw open, “you’re gonna choke!” He spits out an eraser.  “oh?” You pick up the pink pencil topper, “did you learn your name?” You perk up, “so cute!” You scoop the cat up to your chest, kissing his face, “you’re so smart-” The cat warbles. “What?” You set it down and it paws at the eraser.  “You wanna play?” He hadn't liked playing very much before. He warbles again before hopping away and fleeing. Though he’s back in a few moments.  “Now what do you have??” You notice something else hidden in the cat's mouth, he spits it out without a fight though.  “Shouta’s keys?” You pick them up, “do you wanna play?” You ask again and jingle them in front of the cat's face. He swats at you.  “I’m sorry.” You frown, “not right now okay? I’m really exhausted.” You stand up, “let’s just go to bed?”  The cat leaps into bed with you a few minutes after you get under the covers.  “Eraser please-” You groan as he kneads your back, “I'm exhausted.” Roll over and he drops something on your chest. It was a picture, one from your bag of you and Shouta, Hizashi took it on new year’s eve two years ago.  “Huh?” You look at the cat, “why’d you bring me this?” You remember reading that cats like to bring their owners things as presents sometimes. “That’s very sweet.” You murmur, “I should get it framed or something, it’s a nice picture. He didn’t really like pictures..” You rub the cat's ears, “I didn’t mind before...” You trail off, feeling your eyes get wet, “but wish I had more of us now that he’s-” You take in a deep breath before you can start crying again. You set the photo on your nightstand. “I’m going to sleep.” You turn over, without huddling him into your chest like usual.  Aizawa doesn’t know who to thank when he wakes up, suddenly human again. Though he is totally naked. But at least you wouldn’t be so inconsolable anymore. Your alarm starts to blare and you turn over, your hand hits his chest.  “Shou.. turn it off..” You mutter, burying your nose in his arm. There’s a moment of reprieve like nothing had ever happened like it was all a weird dream. You did this occasionally, you’d wake up and grumble for him, ‘come closer’ ‘turn the alarm off’ or just a ‘g’monring shou’. In the days prior he’d tried to do what he could, even swatting your alarm off with his paw and curling up in your neck. Though it was never long before you’d realize that Shouta as you knew him wasn’t there and you’d dissolve into a fit. “mhn I got it.” His hand slaps the alarm button and it silences.  Your eyes snap open and you scramble up, shrieking.  “Shouta!?” You’re patting him down, neck shoulders, and chest, checking for any injuries, or any sign that he’s not really Shouta. But it’s all there, all the scars, and birthmarks, and hair, he’s exactly how you remember.  “Where have you been?!” You place two firm hands on his chest, “and why are you naked? Not that I mind now, but have you been walking around naked for over a week? Never mind don’t answer that.” You take his face in your hands, “Oh Shouta, I’ve been so worried.” You shake your head, “we all have. When your costume turned up but you...” Your voice gets quiet, “we thought...well..God. Where have you been?”  “I’m sorry to worry you-” He sits up, “i’m okay, seriously, not even a scratch. It’s all sort of complicated but I think what happened was-”  “Wait!” You stop him, “I have a surprise for you!”  “Well, the thing is-”  “Just stay here okay? Put some pants on!”  You scramble out of bed, looking hopelessly for Eraser Cat, though the feline is nowhere to be found. You’re standing by the couch when the sight of the eraser and Shouta’s keys discarded there put the dots together for you. “It was you?!” You shriek running back to your bedroom.  “I was trying to tell you!” He insists, “like when I kept changing the channel to the news during broadcasts about me, or all of the random stuff that I always brought you!”  He doesn’t mind the way your arms fly around his neck, he just pats your back.  “So you’ve been okay this whole time?!”  “Yeah, I was pretty well taken care of actually.”  “I was wondering why he’d only eat leftovers and not the cat food..” You murmur and Shouta laughs.  “Sorry, but it smelled really gross.” He lets you clamber into his lap.  “Shouta I’m so happy to see you.” You hold his face in your hands, “you have no idea how worried I was-”  “I watched the whole thing.” He laughs a little, holding your wrists, “ but it’s alright now. I’m here. I’m fine. We both are.” The kiss is welcome, warm, and familiar. Being a cat for a day would have been fun, but a whole week was sort of pushing it, he’d missed these sorts of sensations, your hands on his chest, arms around his neck, lips against his.  “You watched me change like every day!” You hit his stomach and he huffs at the blow, “What happened to missing me? It’s your fault for leaving the door open!” He complains and you jump,  “I live alone!!! And you tried to get in the shower with me?! You perv!”  “You act like I’ve never seen you naked before!” He fends off your swatting hands. “It’s the principle of the thing!”  “We see each other naked all the time! I’m naked right now.” He catches your hands and you stop, flush creeping up your neck.  “Oh. Yes..you are...” You settle down a little as he continues, “and I really missed you...” 

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (12)

Hi all!!! This is the long awaited 12th chapter! It took months of rewrites of not only this chapter, but future ones as well to ensure this was written to the best of my ability.

This chapter marks the heaviest moment in this story, so please, please be mindful of the content warnings for this chapter. I marked the section that includes this moment.

I also chose not to add tags so that this is not everyone's first impression of this series!

Masterlist

Word Count: 2700

Warnings: s*xual ass*ult, language, alcohol consumption, blood/injury mention

% end of the first week of November- cont. %

Throughout the game, you and the other homecoming court members (aside from any football players or cheerleaders) had been sitting on the sidelines right in front of the student section, so you were somewhat able to talk to your friends.

The team was playing good in the first half. It was probably Tom’s best game that you’d ever seen. At halftime, they did the “official” crowning of court members and recognized football and cheer seniors.

The seniors were presented first, having their parents with them as they walked across the field. They started with the cheer team so Daisy could change back into her white dress.

Then came the court recognitions, you and Tom stepping onto the field after everyone else as the crowd cheered and clapped.

Tom’s arm linked around yours as he helped you stay steady walking across the grass, since your heels weren't quite meant for the soft ground. Someone handed you a large bundle of roses and you smiled widely.

The bright lights, the cheers, the smile Tom gave you.

It was a moment burned into your memory forever.

Then it was over, and the team went back to their game, winning 42-27, their best win by far all season.

You were saying your final thank you’s to people’s congratulatory comments as you began heading out to the parking lot. Alexis caught up with you amidst the chaos.

“You still on for Tyler’s? I’ll drive,” she offered.

“Yeah. Let’s go home so I can change and then we’ll head out, okay?” you said, finally getting to your car.

She followed you to your house, where you changed into a tight long-sleeved bodysuit, skinny jeans, and some heeled booties. You also packed some other things into a bag to sleep at Alexis’s house later.

You told your parents you were staying the night at her house. They definitely knew better by the way you’d left on your makeup and put on real clothes, but didn’t question you, instead tossing out a “stay safe” and “don’t do anything stupid” as you headed out the door.

Things were pretty much in full swing by the time you and Alexis pulled into the yard outside Tyler’s house and found your friends inside, red solo cups in hand. The speakers were blaring something with a strong beat and most people were dancing.

You had a white claw to loosen up. After having refrained from partying throughout volleyball season, Alexis would be designated driver for the night to let you have your fun. You saw plenty of football players hanging around but didn’t find Tom anywhere.

Weird.

*CW below*

After a little bit, you ran off to use the bathroom just down a hall. You went alone since it would only be a couple minutes, you knew everyone there, and weren’t drunk.

When you stepped back into the hall, you almost ran into a large figure. It was Harrison.

“Oh, hi there, little lady,” he sneered.

“Fuck off, Harrison.” you commanded, brushing past him. He grabbed your wrist and yanked you back.

“I don’t think you want to be saying that to me,” he pinned you against the wall. His breath reeked of alcohol. You looked around, but it was dark and no one was close enough to see your predicament.

“What the hell do you want? I’m just here to have fun.”

“And what do you think I’m doing huh? Don’t think I forgot about that little stunt you pulled going to Johnson. It’s your fault I missed two games.”

“Don’t think so buddy. Maybe if you respected women you wouldn’t have been in trouble in the first place. Now get off me,” you commanded, trying to push forward.

Big mistake.

He drove a knee between your legs and placed a hand over your chest, gripping your breast so tightly it hurt. For the first time, you were actually scared, but still stared directly into his eyes.

“Nah. I just think you’re too much of a pussy to take me. Now you’re gonna stay quiet or something much worse is gonna come to you,” he threatened, then placed his lips on your neck.

You squeezed your eyes shut to focus your thoughts. It was like you were frozen in shock and pain.

His other hand started sliding up the inside of your thigh when you panicked, kneeing him in the groin and shoving him from you before sending a fist into his jaw.

You were thankful he was drunk, as it made him disoriented and off balance.

Harrison reeled back, looking at you in confusion as he bent over, holding his mouth in pain. There was blood around his gums. He looked at you angrily before another voice called out.

“What the hell is going on here? I thought I told you to stay away from her,” Tom seethed. There was a fire in his eyes that you’d never seen before.

“You think I really care what you have to say? I was just trying to teach y/n a little lesson about consequences,” Harrison replied, slurring his words, before spitting blood onto the hardwood floor and pointing a finger right in your face. “You really think a couple hits are going to stop m-”

Tom was about to step forward to do something when rage overtook you and you threw another punch to his nose, causing him to fall backwards unconscious.

Tom looked down in shock at the limp body beneath you, then back up to you. Once your eyes met, his features softened.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he asked, stepping over Harrison and guiding you away from him. As you finally began processing what had happened, tears slipped down your cheeks.

“I… he- he…” you couldn’t get the words out and your breath quickened.

“Hey, hey. I know. You don’t have to say anything. It wasn't your fault. Can I hug you?”

*end CW*

You sniffled and nodded, not meeting his eyes. He engulfed you in his arms, rubbing your back as you buried your face in his neck. Your chest throbbed from Harrison’s grip and knuckles ached from where they’d met his face twice.

After a few minutes, you straightened up and wiped your face, trying to be tough. Harrison was still out cold on the floor.

“Do you want me to go get your friends?” he asked, to which you nodded. He ran off and only a minute later came Alexis and Caroline.

They fawned over you, making sure you were okay. Tom put a hand on either of your arms and looked you directly in the eyes.

“I’m going to make sure he and his awful friends leave, okay? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

The girls led you back into the bathroom while Tom began dragging Harrison off. They helped you clean the mascara stains on your cheeks and make sure you were okay. After about 10 minutes, you finally felt confident enough to go back out.

When you got back to the main room, word had it that Tom, Jake, Chris, and some of the other guys were making sure Harrison’s crew would leave and not come back.

Knowing that you were safe from him finally, you decided to drink in the hopes of forgetting what happened for a little bit and have some fun. You started off with a shot of strawberry lemonade vodka, which led to shotgunning a beer and tossing back another shot (or two) of bacardi.

Not a half hour later and you were plastered. You went crazy on the dance floor, jumping around like a fool as different people came up to dance with you.

You were barely aware of what you were doing and extremely clumsy. The room was turning as you clambered up onto a table. You were spinning in circles until your shoe’s heel missed the edge and you started to topple over.

You couldn’t even react, but after a second realized you hadn’t hit the ground, and were instead in Tom’s arms.

“Alright I think it’s time for you to take a breather,” he said. It was hard to understand him as his voice sounded distant. He carried you out of the warm room and outside, where the cold air hit you like a truck. He set you down on the edge of Tyler’s porch.

“Y/n are you okay? After everything that happened I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

What he said wasn’t funny, but you found yourself cackling anyways.

“Better than everrr! Did you see my twerking?”

“Yes, yes I did. Are you feeling okay? Your face is super red. You aren’t nauseous?”

You shook your head with a big grin.

“I’m fiiiineee, pretty boy. Just because you’re my husssband doesn’t mean you have to follow me everywhere! I’m alllll gooood.” You slumped onto his shoulder, still giggling.

“Alright, princess. Let’s just chill here for now alright? I’ll text Alexis in a little bit.”

You sat in silence twisting your star ring as you began to cool down and your hearing was returning to normal. Tom was rubbing his thumb over your shoulder and had you drinking your second cup of water, but the effects of the alcohol were still present.

“Tom?” you whispered. He hummed. “You’re a really good husband.”

He chuckled.

“You think so?” he paused. “I think you’re a pretty good wife, too. No matter how much trouble you manage to get us both in.”

After a little longer, you felt yourself getting sleepy as the night took its toll on you. Alexis came outside and rushed over.

“Hey! I was looking everywhere. Sorry I didn’t see your text. Let’s go, y/n. You’ve had a looong night.”

Tom picked you up from the porch and led you to the car, half carrying you. He helped you into the car and buckled you up, then stood leaning in the doorway.

“Thanks for your help, Tom. Glad you were there for us,” Alexis said with a small grin as she buckled in.

“Of course. I’d do anything for her,” he replied, giving you a wink before shutting the door and waving. Alexis had barely pulled out of the driveway when she looked at you.

“Okay spill. What’s been going on with you and Tom?” she asked in a serious tone. She was clearly using the alcohol against you, and even though you were much more aware than before, you still started talking.

“I think I really like him.”

“Like we didn’t all already know that. I meant what have you been hiding from me the past three months? I know there’s more to the story.”

You sighed.

“It started last month, when Tom beat up… you know… the first time. We held hands on his bedroom floor that weekend until his mom accidentally walked in. And then we took those pictures and kept saying all these flirty things. I accidentally caught him naked, don’t ask.”

“Oh I’m definitely asking about that later. But continue.”

“Well then I stayed for dinner that Thursday and Sam caught us in the kitchen goofing around. Oh, and then last weekend we kissed, and-”

“YOU WHAT NOW?” she yelled, causing you to wince at the sound before you started rambling.

“We didn’t really kiss per se… It’s because we were fake dating for that couple. It just kinda happened! And now we’re going to homecoming together but it was supposed to be a secret so… don’t tell anyone before dinner tomorrow. Or tonight I guess since it’s Saturday morning.”

“I knew it. Dammit I knew it! Why didn’t you just tell me!”

“You’d make fun of me! Do you think I want to like him? We’ve been at each other’s throats all this time and now I’m just supposed to forget all that because of a little crush? You don’t get it, Lex. It’s not like he’d ever feel the same way.”

You looked out the car window, trying to settle your breathing after getting worked up. Your head hurt and you were still thirsty. Alexis pulled into her driveway and cut the engine.

“I know I would clown you about it, and I probably still will, but we’re friends for a reason. And you’re joking, right? Everyone knows Tom is head over heels in love with you.”

“What? No way.”

“Yes way! Have you not seen the way he looks at you, and follows you like a puppy dog, and gets so protective over you? I mean come on, y/n. He literally said he’d do anything for you and winked before we left. You must be blind to not see that.”

You sat and tried to think about it for a minute, wondering if she was right about him.

“Let’s go in, y/n. It’s getting cold and you need to sleep it off. You’re not going to have a fun morning, that’s for sure.”

You followed her into the house, trying not to stumble. Your balance definitely wasn’t all there. Her garage door led straight to the kitchen where you chugged a glass of water and took some antacids, grabbing more water to take to her room.

You went into the bathroom to shower off the makeup and sweat and hairspray. When you got out and looked in the mirror, you saw the way your chest was reddened from what Harrison did to you. It took everything to hold back more tears.

%

The moment your eyes opened, everything hurt.

Your head, stomach, feet, chest. Your head was flooded with memories from the previous night. You rolled away from the window to find Alexis sitting on the floor next to a plate and glass of water.

“Well, well, well. Sleeping beauty awakes. I brought you my hangover cure.”

You looked down to see that on the plate sat two advils, an alka seltzer, and some cinnamon pop tarts. It was almost 11 am.

“Thanks, Lex. For everything. You’re the best,” you said, taking a bite off one pastry.

“Don’t be thanking me. Tom’s the real hero. He got a bunch of people together this morning to report Harrison for what he did to you and he’s suspended again, can’t go to the dance. I guess Johnson is gonna deal with it more next week and he might be expelled. Do you have any proof other than Tom?” she said gently.

“Let’s see,” you said, tugging off your shirt, revealing a sports bra. She gasped when she saw the purple bruising around one breast and the hickey marks that had been left on your neck.

“Oh my God, y/n. That’s awful.”

“I know. It didn’t look like this last night. We need to get some pictures.”

After taking some pictures for proof and finishing off your “breakfast,” you and Alexis began preparing yourselves for the dance. You were going to do makeup and hair at her house before going home to change, and then to Tom’s.

If he even still wanted to go with you. You decided to call him while Alexis curled your hair.

“Hey, y/n. Are you okay?” he asked, voice deep and raspy. He must have gone to bed again after organizing the reports against Harrison.

“Yeah, I’m way better. Thanks for everything last night. For saving my ass. I heard what you did this morning, too. You’re the best.”

“It’s the right thing to do, y/n. I’m glad I was there. And you’re sure you’re okay? We can skip the dance tonight if you aren’t up for it. You know my mom would love to have you come hang out any time.”

“Hey, now. I’m not about to leave the dance without a king and queen. I mostly wanted to check if you were still okay with going together after everything.”

“Of course! I want to go with you, y/n. Nothing’s changed that.”

You smiled.

“Okay, well, I’ll pick you up at 5 for dinner. Bye, Tom.”

“See ya, princess.”

You ended the call and sat quietly looking down. You almost forgot Alexis was there until she said,

“So you’re driving him, huh? I alway knew you wore the pants. Now tell me about that whole ‘seeing him naked’ thing...”

%

A/N: so... there's that chapter. I hope you all understand that this moment is not at all meant to romanticize or glorify the terrible experiences so many people endure, but instead highlight one way this issue is dealt with.

I wish you all the best. Please remember that my messages and asks are always open ❤️

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @justafangirlduh, @supraveng,

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic writer tag game!

Thank you for the tag @wind-on-the-panes :)

How many works do you have on AO3? 17!

What's your total AO3 word count? 167350. It took me 15 minutes to figure out where to find this/the stats page.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fallout from the Fade (744): Hawke stays in the Fade to deal with Nightmare’s demon... and survives. Getting back out however costs her more than she expects, and has drastic consequences. My long fic 

Provided it tied you down first (373): Inquisitor Trevelyan receives information that an important magister will be in a... compromising location, and has to blend in to get the information. She has to bring a mage along to help her, and her crush on Solas has nothing to do with why she picked him. This was a k!meme prompt and an experiment in writing smut/pwp, and people seemed to like it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lost to night (235): After the events at the Winter Palace, Inquisitor Lavellan is both relieved the crisis is over, and exasperated with the court of Orlais. The only thing cheering her up is spending some extra time with Solas, and find themselves slipping away for some more private one on one time. When I was first getting into fanfic I mostly wrote generic protags. This fic was one of my first with writing specifically about my own Lavellan, and I like it for that reason :)

Less a Man than a Wild Cat (221): Fenris takes a trip out to the Storm Coast on some personal business... and a week later a cat with suspiciously familiar white markings in its fur storms into the Hanged Man and curls up in Hawke’s lap. I do still love this one, it was so fun to write. 

Banister Banter (218): POV/commentary from the other Inquisition members (like Dorian/Leliana) on the Inquisitor’s burgeoning relationship with Solas. Abandoned because I was trying to write humor and its very very very hard and I’m not great at it.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? I MEAN TO AND I’M SO SORRY THAT I’M BAD AT IT... Before the Indoors Times of 2020, I spent almost all day out of service most weeks, including a lot of extended overnight trips. I also have a bad habit of saving comment replys as a “reward” for myself for whenever I finish writing the next chapter, but... my between updates time has been ever-increasing oops. ANYWAY SORRY, I do read and treasure them all. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Ahahahahaaha... well I do try not to end them all on an angsty note just for, you know, the sake of everyone else. But with Letters to Fenris I did try to tear out the heart a bit, and my Mass Effect the people you love become ghosts inside you, and like this, you keep them alive fic I was trying to work through my emotions about my Shepard who picks the Destroy ending and dies. and i specifically headcanon she does die even though I did get the last breath scene because i think its more emotional/significant that way

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Had to stop and scroll and I Don’t Write Fluff but I think the endings that are most positive are Less A Man Than A Wild Cat and Lost to Night. 

Do you write crossovers? Not yet, I might be tempted with something like a fairy tale but I’m not so interested in cross-fandom

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not that I know of, though I know my delight in angst/pain will not be to all readers tastes and that’s perfectly fine

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, if it fits the story or is the point of the work. But there’s gonna be ~complicated~ feelings or circumstances involved.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! Two of my fics are translated into Russian, Letters to Fenris and Fallout from the Fade :) 

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I write sporadically and at weird times, I think I’d be a nightmare to collaborate with

What’s your all-time favourite ship? I pretty much only have ships when it’s player character you get to design + another character, and you get to have some control over the narrative/there’s room for personal interpretation; which is why I only really write for Dragon Age/Mass Effect. Within those, I like Solavellan, FenHawke, and Shakarian; though there’s others I hope to write for and delve deeper into someday.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I never published it because I know I’m unlikely to finish it + the Mass Effect: Andromeda fandom wasn’t as large/interested; but I still love the start of the WIP I have examining Ryder’s complex relationship with SAM.

What are your writing strengths? I like to think I’m good at building tension. My favorite part of writing Fallout from the Fade was the section where I ended every chapter on a terrible cliffhanger and people yelled at me in the comments. 

What are your writing weaknesses? I’m not funny :( in real life too, i have to rely on absurdism 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? If there is a translation in the text and it’s not more than a few words or lines at a time I enjoy it. Otherwise it can pull me out of the narrative. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Dragon Age :) didn’t start writing fic until after DAI, 

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Fallout my baby I will finish you someday... I have a whole outline and thoughts on upcoming stuff and everything I’ve been holding in my head for a year, but I need to reread it before I get back to it, and lord am I short on free time these days :( I’ve seen a bunch of people already post these, so not sure who all has done this yet but: @roseategales @m-m-m-myysurana @lesbianarcana and if you haven’t yet but would like to, please consider this me tagging you and @ me so I can read it! :)

[tsumtsum-into-omiomi]

CHAPTER TWO: HISTORY 101

warning(s): cursing

word count: 1.4k

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AO3

"What if... I told you all that practitioners like us used to be able to roam the earth as we wished?" Atsumu starts, a smug look on his face as if he is about to reveal a huge secret. Osamu, who is sitting behind the class computer to control their slide show, rolls his eyes. He hates it when Atsumu presents because he tends to act overly dramatic.

 "They're able to be found anywhere in Japan, and even though they're a minority, practitioners and non-practitioners lived in harmony together. They're accepted and even trusted to govern states alongside non-practitioners; taking on important roles as ministers and such. Sounds pretty sweet, right?"

 Atsumu then pauses for a second to cue Osamu to move on to the next slide. The screen flickers, now projecting six pictures of professional looking men and women in suits with their names underneath, "these people are examples of distinguished figures who made sure our law and order were in place so that the peace between practitioners and non-practitioners was kept in check when they lived together. They drafted the constitution that we are still using to this day."

 "This woman," Atsumu points to one of the pictures on his slide, "Ota Shiori, was the person who campaigned for the famous safety law to be sanctioned. It was designed to protect non-practitioners from unlawful usage of magic on them. She truly believed that, in no circumstances should they feel threatened by the power that they were not blessed with. And the practitioners were cautious about this matter. They made sure not to hurt anyone with their magic."

 "However, circa 1850s, non-practitioners began a purging movement, fueled by a rising political party, called Chōwa, who wanted to be in power," Atsumu gestures to Osamu. He taps on the keyboard and the slide changes. There are pictures of protests and violent acts on the screen, assumed to be inflicted on practitioners. Low murmurs and soft gasps can be heard filling the lecture hall. There is tension in the air.

 "To them," Atsumu continues, riding on the mood of the class and using a serious tone, "for as long as practitioners were living among non-practitioners, they would not be able to hold absolute administration because they thought we could topple them down with our magic anytime. That scared them a lot."

 Osamu then stands up to continue where Atsumu left off, "the purge had forced magic practitioners to move and live in isolation, away from others, just to ensure their safety," but unlike Atsumu, his voice is indifferent. He has a mind map displayed and it shows a list of town names. "They began to find new lands to start fresh and due to their small numbers, the community was scattered all over the country. They built small towns where they could live amongst their own people and keep to themselves to stay out of trouble.”

 Osamu points to the screen, “these are the magic towns established over the years that we know of, including ours; Taishi. It is the only town in Hyōgo which houses magic practitioners since the year 1957, a settlement where we can exercise spells freely and a place called home for us to live in peace. Fun fact; Tokyo is the only prefecture that has more than one magic town," Osamu appears dead panned, making it very hard for the audience to be convinced that it is, indeed, a fun fact.

 He taps on the keyboard again. This time, the Hyōgo prefecture's map is presented beside a picture of three men in suits standing side by side.

 "However, it is also important to note that there are people out there who do not share Chōwa's sentiment towards the magic community and are accepting of us," he informs, "our small town has its secret hold hidden by the cities of Tatsuno and Himeji. They envelop and give us the protection that we need from being exposed to the rest of the world. It's an agreement they made decades ago with us, even before the name Taishi came to exist, to repay the practitioners for helping them during the age of wars. These three men, Mori Daigo, Abe Genta and Ikeda Hide, were the leaders back then who came up with the peace treaty that is still in effect up until today."

 "Here are some interesting facts on Taishi," Osamu skips to the following slide, "we have a population of around thirty thousand. Our school, Inarizaki, was founded by Abe Genta. The famous Kudo Street was named after Kudo Kazuki, the first practitioner who built our town. Kudo Street gains its popularity as a place to get magical supplies in the 70s..."

 "Gosh, interesting facts?" you whisper to your friend beside you. The two of you are sitting at the far back of the hall, "his face doesn't reflect it at all. Appear a bit more enthusiastic, man."

 Suna yawns, "as if he gives a shit."

 "I'm hungry," you huff.

 "If we hadn't joined this class for fun, we would already be eating right now," Suna side-eyes you.

 "Hey, you also thought it's a fun idea to see the twins present!" you jeer back. "And in case you forgot, we can leave anytime. We're literally sitting beside the door."

 "Nah, let's ask the presenters some mind-boggling questions while we're already here," Suna waves his hand lazily.

 "See, isn't this a better way to spend our free period?" you smirk.

 Suna grins back at you, "go do your work, Satan."

 "Any questions?" Atsumu implores to the class. The two of you sit straight and draw your attention back to the front after realising that the presentation is over.

 You see no hands raised. Nice, an impassive class; the perfect audience. You put your hand up, catching Atsumu's eyes. He points at you with a smile, "yes, at the back there?"

 However, his smile vanishes instantly when you stand up, finally taking notice of you and Suna, who are intruding the class. He glares at you as a warning.

 "I have some questions," you announce, ignoring the invisible daggers he's throwing at you, "aren't you two fifth year students? Why did you choose basic history to present on? Weren't there any other challenging topics that you could've tackled on?"

 Atsumu seems like he's about to break the pen he's holding into half while Osamu scratches his temple with his middle finger, a quiet "fuck you" for you. You and Suna stifle some giggles at their reactions as you plop back into your seat.

 The History teacher clears his throat, "answer the question, Miya. I was wondering the same thing too. I know I said you're free to choose what to present on, but isn't yours very... elementary? Even though this is an entry level History class, I expected more since you're seniors."

 "Aw man," Suna chortles, "if they fail this class again... you're a part of the reason."

 "Nah, Morita-sensei will let them pass this time," you respond, "I don't think he wants to see them again next year for the third time."

 "Lol, imagine having to take an entry level History course  three times in the span of six years at this school."

 "Hm, maybe it's something only the twins can achieve."

 "Look at him spewing bullshit," Suna snickers at Atsumu, who is trying to justify his and Osamu's presentation topic to his best ability.

 "His expertise anyway," you scoff, not even paying attention to what Atsumu is saying.

 Suna nods in agreement, “I feel bad but I’m really enjoying this.”

 “They’re gonna be so pissed off,” you cackle.

 "Any more questions?" Atsumu addresses the whole class.

 "Oh shit, my turn," Suna raises a hand up.

 "Don't let Morita-sensei see you or we'll get kicked out," you remind him in a low voice. Suna only stands up half of his height, hiding from Morita's view behind the rows of students sitting in front of him.

 Once Atsumu catches his raised hand and makes eye contact with Suna, he mouthes a "fuck you" at him. Unfortunately, he doesn't really have a choice other than answering, "yes?"

 "Do you know if the samurai practised magic?"

 A snort escapes from you upon hearing Suna’s question. You then see a text come in from Osamu, who must’ve sent it from behind the computer while everyone was paying attention to Suna just now. It says "I'm gonna feed you two shit tomorrow". You almost lose it seeing how pressed Osamu is right now— it’s a rare sight. You reply with “sounds good 😋” to him and he sends a middle finger emoji back.

 Ah, what better way to enjoy the trivial life as a student other than being a pain in your brothers’ asses?

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AO3

Thank you for reading till the end!! World building is my passion LMAO jk it's super hard I love creating it but writing it?? Phew... Anyway, this is just to give context of the AU they're in!! Hope it gave you a good idea!

[loudmouthcd]

introducing . .  MALI CHUSUK . CIS WOMAN . 21 YEARS OLD . HEALTH AND SPORTS SCIENCE MAJOR . GIRLS SOCCER TEAM CAPTAIN .

hello hello !! im so excited to be here ! my name is g , and u can find me on my musings blog @ pocmuzings if u ever want to hmu ! i’m 23 and in the aest timezone , so ill be on at pretty random hours between working my 9-5 ! i’m a cis woman , and use she / her pronouns . i’m a proud brown beautiful woman ( im indian ) !  if u would like my discord , feel free to ask ! i’m a horror movie enthusiast , and would d*e for any poc in the entire world . . 

i’m currently trying to figure out where the heck my sidebar links have gone on this theme . . so pls Bear with me fkjnfnjkfj . ( help . . help . . they’re in the theme preview idk what i did ) 

here’s mali , she’s a muse i’ve always wanted to play but never been able to !

inspiration for her is mandy milkovich from shameless , rosa diaz from b99 , rebeca from elite , kiara from outer banks and viola from shes the man

mali was raised in a house filled with boys , and her father was quite strict and determined . her relationship with her father has never been very personal, but more so almost like a business deal , or like a coach and his student 

mali was quite active as a child , and quite energetic . she was always running around and bouncing off walls - it drove her father wild because he could never make her sit still , whilst also trying to raise her older brothers at the same time

because of this , mali kinda took to her own devices . she was introduced to soccer at school , and that was her first love . she found herself playing it at every lunch break , or rolling the ball under the desk during class time . it helped with her jitteriness 

it took a year or two before her father realised that she was quite keen on soccer , and she was good at it - and he was overjoyed at the talent she had when it came to playing . she was a strong striker and attacker , but she was also quite aggressive and competitive on the field . she didn’t really have much etiquette when it came to the game , and she would play dirty at times . this . . only made her father even happier . suddenly he went from barely noticing her , to being at every soccer practice and game she had . he bought her the best soccer cleats he could afford , and pushed for her to win every game and score as many goals as possible . he went from not being very invested in mali , as the only girl in the family ( he didn’t know what to do with a girl ) , to being her number one fan

at first it was great . . but then . . her father got a little overbearing and controlling. if she didn’t make a shot , she could feel his disappointment radiating from a mile away . if she allowed someone to trip or foul her , her father would berate her in the car for not having been more intuitive . her father pushed her to be more and more competitive and the best she could be . mali still thoroughly loved soccer , but she started to find it slightly draining . 

whenever she had a second of time outside of studying , her father would be making her run drills or shoot goals in the backyard . she never really got a lot of time to be by herself or do stuff she wanted ( like just normal teenage girl stuff . . getting crushes on people , going to house parties , having her first beer . . ) 

mali has spent majority of her time either with her brothers and her father ( the entire house is pure chaos . messy . loud burping . video games . yelling across rooms to each other . there’s constant noise at all hours of the day ) , or hanging out with her fellow soccer team players ( sometimes they got along with mali , sometimes they saw her as too much of a ball hog or taking the game ‘ too seriously ‘ ) . mali hasn’t really had a chance to develop many friendships outside of this , and it’s beginning to really effect her 

mali has decided to take somewhat of a step back from soccer ( and the competitiveness of it ) , but she’s also not telling her father about that . mali misses having FUN with playing , instead of seeing it as a sport and chore .

she also wants to have the full college experience . her entire first year was dedicated to soccer and getting used to college and living out of home for the first time . this new independency is fantastic , but mali has no idea what to do with it . she wants to live . really live . really get the full experience .

mali really wants to be more ‘ feminine ‘ . she wants to know how to do boss eyeliner , and wear pretty dresses with heels . at the moment , her wardrobe consists of baggy sweaters , ripped jeans , and a lot of sweatpants . she finds woman to be so so beautiful . . but looks at herself and sees a Gremlin . . oh to be a Woman . . wow . . 

mali can be described as . . . very very blunt and loudmouthed . a bi disaster . chaotic and messy . competitive and driven , but also very blasé and careless at times ( reckless may be a better word ) . she’s very spontaneous , and always up for literally anything ( if u wanna get a burrito at 2am , mali will come . if you want to roadtrip across the state , mali will ride shotgun . she never says no ) 

mali is very sick of being seen as ‘ one of the dudes ‘ or ‘ one of the guys ‘ , she especially wants to be making more female friends and have more females in her life , because . . she’s literally never had many that weren’t on the soccer team with her , or her own competition !

connections ( but also pls i will fill any connection u WANT )

trainwreck meet trainwreck : give me two disaster bastards ! together they are absolute chaos ! they are very similair in that they are both abrasive and intense and very high energy . they usually will encourage each others bad behaviours or be somewhat of a bad influence to each other 

‘ one of the boys ‘ : give me a male friend who literally sees mali as another one of the guys . it irks mali sometimes and she has to remind them , hey  . . im a girl too , and they’re always like ‘ yeah but ur not a GIRL girl ‘ , and that lowkey grinds her gears . SHE WANTS TO BE A GIRL GIRL

soft females : please . . my god . . give me the softest sweetest gal to mali’s absolute demonic energy

soccer players : 100000% believe mali has challenged ur character to an impromptu game of soccer at one point . it doesn’t matter if ur not in the same league or team as mali . if u play soccer for even one second , she will want to size u up and try Beat u at it . 

childhood friends : i ain’t never seen two pretty childhood friends . . no i’m kidding , but i do love childhood friends so SO much

ride or die : I LOVE RIDE OR DIES . GIVE ME TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER AT ANY TIME . THEY’D DROP ENTIRE WORLDS FOR EACH OTHER

siblings but not by blood : they bicker , they rant , they get frustrated . . but they always always come back to each other . they can call each other an asshole then text each other ten mins later and be like ‘ taco bell ? :) ‘ dskjnfdnjk

watch it , bitch : mali is . . a Lot . she’s very intense and loud , and she has no manners . she’s very competitive and aggressive at times and i completely understand why that isnt everyones cup of tea ! lets get some negative connections up in here !

bi bi bi : give me hookups . past . present .emerging . future . let mali be a hoe , she deserves it . she deserves the college experience

party in the usa : whos gonna introduce mali to alcohol n partying and having  a Wild As Heck night ?

outer banks : pls pls pls pls PLEASE give me an outer banks - esque squad . total idiots . absolute morons ..  there’s not a single brain cell between them  . . 

mali , you look like shit : please teach her how to not wear the same sweatshirt 10 days in a row . pls clean her up . pls show her how to be Pretty . make her over . . . i beg of u . . 

older sister : honestly kinda like the above plot but i’d love for a Wise Woman to just . . be a mentor and guide to mali and be an amazing friend to her 

GIRL SQUAD : i literally love female friendships so muhc . . its smth that can be so personal . . but really my god . give me and mali a bunch of females in her life , shes never really had that before and she Deserves it 

pain in my ass : they both irritate each other endlessly . they’re both too similair , maybe ,and that’s why they clash . a lot of it is ‘ harmless teasing ‘ and ‘ banter ‘ for the most part , but they literally fight like an old married couple around each other .

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[emsartwork]

What are your winx couple headcanons?

Other questions about relationships also answered below

Like how they interact? I talked a little bit about the canon dynamics in an ask-dump here but I’ll write a little more and copy paste stuff here lol

BLOOM AND SKY:  so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. Bloom is also prefers to move a little slower than Sky would maybe prefer, like he’s good with their relationship and tries not to push Bloom or make her upset but he’d probably like to be married already lol. Bloom and Sky have figured out that if they’re having conflict issues, one of the best things to do is for them to write out whats bothering them and send letters/texts/emails back and forth. This gives Bloom a safe space and time to process her emotions, and lets Sky express his opinion with out getting to intense and pushing for Bloom to talk to him. They’ve taken to doing this with non-conflict thingies too, like its not out of the norm for Sky to receive a wax sealed envelope with a beautifully calligraphied message on parchment that simply says Bloom saw a super fluffy dog that day lol

STELLA AND BRANDON:  They love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take Brandon’s complements in a less…. arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. I wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. I think Brandon and Stella are the kind of couple that could be married for years and still feel like they’re on their honeymoon, They would probably get married because of societal pressure but if Stella wasn’t a princess they wouldn’t bother with the ceremony since it wouldn’t change their devotion to each other. They flirt with other people pretty casually but neither would EVER cheat or go any further than idle compliments. Stella’s fear of being alone/disliked is still present, but Brandon will generally just pick up some chocolate, put on a movie and let Stella do his nails or hair or make-up whenever she’s feeling down. Stella was perfectly fine with Brandon not being a prince, she came to terms with the situation a lot faster than Bloom did. However, she does try to make sure Brandon knows she’s with him for him. One of Stella’s main love languages is gifts, and Brandon does appreciate it, but his main love language is actually acts of service, so sometimes he feels a little underappreciated (if Stella doesn’t pick up on this Sky will and let her know). In which case Stella will sneakily figure out what he needs and will take care of it (shopping for a new coat? done. its super flattering and makes his eyes pop. mess hall cleaning duty at Red Fountain? she’ll do it(with some magical assistance). he doesn’t have time to make himself lunch? she will try her best but it might be safer for her to order him some take out) Like Stella is silly, excitable, and can be self centered but she loves her people and wants to make sure they know that.

FLORA AND HELIA:  So Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space with each other. Unfortunately their issues stem from both of them being passive aggressive. Like Flora doesn’t want to cause problems or upset anyone, and Helia just doesn’t freaking talk. This can lead to slow simmering fights that build until one of them blows up. They learn to catch the signs of that starting earlier and earlier tho, so they’re both learning its better to bring up an issue earlier if its gonna be a problem later. Flora thinks Helia would be happier as a full time artist than as a warrior or mage, but knows he needs to come to his own conclusion.

TECNA AND TIMMY:  They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and Timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Timmy will ask Tecna to use Emoji’s if she’s having a really difficult time figuring out what she’s feeling. He knows its not fair to Tecna but Timmy sometimes feels a little resentful because she’s had a fairly easy life, access to top rate tech, rich parents, stable environment, and barely had to study, while Timmy scrapped and saved and had to learn fast because of his environment.(his home isn’t exactly unsafe, but asteroid colonies are nomadic by nature which mean a certain level of instability is part of living in one)  

MUSA AND RIVEN:  Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. For their relationship, I think they wouldn’t even start dating until like season 3 era at the earliest.(this is partially why season 4 is so rough for them, its a new relationship) a lot of their issues would stem from their attachment issues and how they respond to insecurity. Riven’s mom left him, just fucking dropped out of his life while he was a young kid, leaving him with an emotionally distant and dismissive father he could never please. So Riven responds by pushing people away before they can reject him, becoming controlling, or dismissing them in anger and pretending not to care about their opinion. Musa’s mother was taken away from her by illness.  I think it happened in Musa’s early teens, since it’s clearly still a tender subject in the first season. A parents death is painful no matter the circumstance, but a sickness that slowly steals the person you love away from you must be incredibly painful. As a result, Musa experience a lot of anxiety about the people she loves leaving her(whether by their choice or not), and becomes clingy, emotionally demanding, and sensitive. When Riven pushes her away to protect himself Musa tries to force her way back to him, when Musa wants Riven to act certain way or do something to ease her anxiety (even if its irrational and she is at fault) Riven dismisses her needs because it means he can keep himself safe from failure. They have similar problems but the way they respond to it ends up escalating every issue. They do eventually grow and become vulnerable with each other, Riven tries to express his affection more(even if it’s not through words) instead of hiding them in fear of rejection, and Musa tries to explain when her feelings are hurt more clearly instead of just assuming Riven knows what he did wrong. They also clash a bit over parentage, both only have their dads left, but Musa’s is involved and (now)supportive, while Riven’s is still distant. Musa has positive memories of her mother and misses her a lot, but Riven has very few memories and is terribly angry at his mother. I think that Riven still left at the end of season 6, but they didn’t exactly break up, they both recognized that Riven needed some time away from the specialists to work on his own shit and gain confidence in his own skills and self worth, so it turned into a low key long distance thing. (if he hadn’t come back in season 8  they would just decide to break it off but lol he’s back)

AISHA AND NABU:  ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that Aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obviously not in a restricting way. Its just Aisha is hella active/independent and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on and always comes back to. Nabu and Aisha are both smart, but Nabu is a little more of a nerd than Aisha and has a lot of book knowledge. Nabu sometimes gets irritated at Aisha’s impulsiveness, he tries to let it go and jump with her sometimes but generally just lets her do her own thing, of course on the other hand, Aisha can get irritated at Nabu’s resistance to change, she knows pestering and pushing him won’t help tho so she tries to slow down and walk through it with him when she can. 

AISHA AND NEX:  So like I said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there. Nex is aggressive and can be hot headed but I think he actually takes life at a slower pace than Aisha who is a master of multitasking. Aisha admires Nex’s drive but wishes he would be a little more directional with it. When they’re not being competitive, they have a very weird calming effect around each other. Aisha and Nex don’t seem to notice this, but the rest of the group picked up on it one day and could not for the life them figure out how two such intense people could have such a chill vibe. 

Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. I also like to think Thoren met her as a spirit(with out recognizing her) during his paladin training. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne was actually receiving physical and mental therapy on Ohm when Thoren visited the planet as part of his paladin duties. They didn’t hit it off right away, but didn’t dislike each other or anything. They actually bonded over scars, Thoren has scars from some paladin related incidents, but also has a scar from when he attempted suicide. Daphne asked him about his first, she eventually explained hers to him but since they were more recent it took a little longer for her to come to terms with what happened to her. Thoren finds her scars beautiful, partially because they’re a part of Daphne, but also because they mean she survived and that she’s healing. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. They like to watch reality tv together and yell at stupid dramatic people. Daphne is terrified of losing her loved ones and can be over protective of Thoren even though he can take care of himself, and Thoren hesitates to ask her to do anything for him because he’s (irrationally)nervous about overwhelming her. In the future, Daphne is a little unsure about asking him to marry her, not because of their relationship, but because he would assume the role of King of Domino and that’s a lot of pressure but they discuss it and work through everything together. Neither of them are good at gardening, but they have a little section of the Domino castle gardens they like to try and grow things in. Thoren also does fine metal work with wires. 

Their families are very pleased with the relationship. Thoren’s mom and Daphne are pretty different but vibe together really well. Thoren and Oritel take up sparing together and Oritel has no problems with Daphne’s choice of partner. Thoren’s dad finds Daphne to be a very fine young lady, though he has concerns that his son is with some one who has so much recent trauma and he worries it’ll kick start Thoren’s depression again. Marion doesn’t think anybody is good enough for her girls but Thoren comes pretty close, Thoren has expressed interest in learning magic, and Marion is eager to teach him, though he may regret letting her once the lessons actually start lol. 

Oritel and Marion like Sky well enough, and they recognize he’s still young and is growing, but they privately think Bloom could do better. Erendor and Samara are concerned about Bloom’s civilian background (how will she handle ruling a kingdom when she has no political training?) and though the Dragon flame would be a huge asset to Eraklyon in power it could also draw unwanted attention and attacks so they’re also concerned about that. But besides those issues, Erendor actually really likes Bloom. Samara.... is very stiff and formal so its hard to tell if she likes Bloom or if she’s just being civil and tolerating her. 

Brandon’s parents LOVE Stella, they think she’s hilarious and cute and they dote on her whenever possible. If Stella and Brandon ever broke up they would probably still invite her to family events and stuff lol. Luna and Radius, when they’re not dealing with their own relationship issues, enjoy Brandon’s company. They kind of wish Stella had chosen a Solarian partner, but its customary to let Solarian children follow their heart and pick their own partner. 

Timmy’s mom hasn’t met Tecna in person, but Timmy talks about her all the time and Timmy’s mom thinks she sounds wonderful. Electronio and Magnethia were unsure of Timmy at first. They ran the numbers through the Zenithian Compatibility and Success in Relationship Indicator and Timmy + Tecna didn’t do so well on paper. However, Tecna was absolutely firm in her decision to be with Timmy even if it didn’t make sense to her parents, which was unusual for her. They like him a lot now, even if they don’t fully understand how he works lol. 

Helia’s dads think Flora is a total catch for Helia like “damn son how did you convince her to date you???” Helia just groans and rolls his eyes. Magic dad likes to talk nature magic with Flora and Warrior dad is always trying to teach her some new self defense tactic when she visits, much to the embarrassment of his son. Alyssa and Rhodos like Helia, even if they think he’s a little out there. Like Flora, they try to encourage his pursuit of art. Miele likes to mess with Helia and pull pranks on him, Helia pretends to be horribly offended but he actually thinks she’s hilarious.

Aisha was a dream match for Nabu’s parents, they cared more about her status as princess than her as a person at first. After Nabu’s death they blamed Aisha and rejected all of her attempts to contact them. In the process of healing, they’ve reached out to her and are trying to appreciate/get to know her as some one their son loved and not just a rung on the social ladder. Aisha’s parents liked Nabu, they didn’t really get to know him very well, but thought he was a smart, capable, and well mannered young man. They saw Aisha was happy with him and left it at that. 

Aisha’s parent’s were less sure of Nex, Andros is a fairly planet centric culture, and Nex, as a Mare Lynphean especially, didn’t quite fit into their Land/Sea dichotomy. Aisha of course, isn’t one to follow social norms if she doesn’t want to. Nex is a little worried about her parents approval, but Aisha insists that the only approval he needs is hers. Niobe and Teredor are currently leaving the relationship as is, knowing fighting Aisha will just make her dig her heels in more. Nex eventually wins them over with his bravery, charm, and devotion to Aisha. When Nex told his parents he was dating a princess, they were kind of surprised. They were also surprised when Aisha turned out to be an athletic, independent, and brash young woman instead of a delicate, dependent, and prissy princess. They absolutely approve and love spending time with her.

Musa hasn’t met Riven’s dad. Riven and his dad aren’t close, they talk maybe once a month and its usually a text from his dad with “update request; academics, physical health, extra curricular, and relationships statuses.” and Riven usually just responds with “update; fuck off.” Riven’s dad does know he’s dating some one but doesn’t have a lot of information. Musa’s dad DID NOT like Riven at first. He didn’t like his look, his reputation, or his attitude. however, Ho-Boe comes from a warrior background, though he prefer(ed)s musical pursuits, he came to respect Riven’s discipline in those areas, and eventually was able to relate to Riven’s rejection of his heritage.  

Bloom and Daphne are a little.... one sided, at least in the beginning. When Bloom first meets Daphne (that she remembers) Daphne isn’t even a real person, she’s a dream or at most a spirit. Even after Bloom learns her name Daphne is a mystery, and its not until like end of season three that they start talking regularly. On Daphne’s side, Bloom was a toddler, and then is suddenly grown up. Daphne still thinks of her like her baby sister, even tho the two of them are, physically, almost the same age now. Daphne also always knew she had a sister, while Bloom thought of herself as an only child for the majority of her life at this point. So while they love each other and get a long pretty well, they have misconceptions and don’t always view the other person as they actually are.

Sure! Stormy likes cream puffs, like A LOT. She owns only dark red lipsticks. She likes doing her makeup but has no patience for her hair, she usually chops a lot of it off every couple months and just lets it do whatever it wants. Stormy has a “worry stone” made of metal she keeps in her pocket. She’s got adhd and Darcy sometimes magically helps calm her brain down when she needs to focus. Stormy of course, loves thunder storms, she gets little electric shivers when they’re getting close. She collects static like nobodies business. Stormy is primarily Omegean and Androsian, tho a little Dominian, Zenithian, and Melodian blood runs through her veins as well. She likes cats. 

yaaaaaaas, ok so I actually gave his dads names finally Vaonaaj dad is Bi’ran (bee-ran) and Lynphean dad is Reed (last name is Deshene). When Helia was born Bi’ran used magic to like float him around and keep him out of trouble and stuff and it annoyed the hell out of Reed (like “for natures sake please don’t hex my son” “im not hexing him its just a floating spell!!”) Reed gave Helia a little sword really early and Bi’ran was appalled ( ”why would you give him a weapon he’s like FIVE” “good he can learn early”) When Helia started to express interest in art his dads were confused af because neither of them have an artistic bone in their bodies. They try to be supportive but honestly have no idea what Helia is doing lol. Helia really wants to please them both so he spent a year at Lynphea College in the basic magic course. When warrior dad(Reed) started to pressure him to learn to fight as well, Helia’s grandfather Saladin offered him a place at Red Fountain, partially because he could see Helia needed his own space to figure himself out and partially because it would appease Reed. Helia was only planning on staying at Red fountain for a year but his relationship with Flora and his friendships with the rest of the group extended his stay. Bi’ran and Reed know they need to let Helia make his own path, but they worry and just want the best for him so they tend to stick to what they know and are comfortable with when advising him(magic and fighting respectively). Bi’ran and Reed have a standing date night every week, and usually they get really out of hand as they try to outdo the other in excitement and romance (dinner and movie one week leads to a 5 course meal and an play the next which leads to a private chef, a one of a kind meal, and an entire theater rented out for a personal performance etc etc etc) until they both realize they’re being ridiculous and promise to keep it simple from then on and the cycle repeats itself. Bi’ran really likes to play with Reed’s hair. Helia always beats them both at card games.  

[mamthew]

I finished Persona 5 Royal, after 135 hours. My feelings on the new content are mostly very positive, though do I have a few issues with it. Here's a suuuuuper long write-up first about Persona 5 and then about Royal. This is gonna have full spoilers for both versions of the game, so keep that in mind if spoilers for either game bother you. Persona 5 is my favorite game of all time for several reasons. The first is how masterfully it's written. Not necessarily line-to-line (and certainly not in the English localization, which could've used a few more weeks of edits to make the sentences sound more natural), but in its structure, thematic unity, and use of allusions to achieve that unity. The first two-thirds of the game are presented through a complex and well-orchestrated frame device that's honestly just a treat to experience. It presents the player with a glance at each upcoming story beat without the context to understand it, then lets them piece together the context as they go, giving the whole game a sense of mystery even as the player inhabits the characters at the center of the mystery. It also uses concepts from Jungian psychology to tell its story, most notably character archetypes, which means players can use knowledge of the archetypes to better understand aspects of the characters and their stories. It's beautiful, and it means that I often fall down rabbit-holes researching the allusions made and finding the connections they have to the story. The other reason Persona 5 is my favorite game is much more personal, but it actually played a major role in my radicalization (or if you're uncomfortable with such terminology, political reawakening). The game released in early April of 2017, only a few months after Trump took office, and partway through my first semester back at school after my five year...break. The game is about fighting back against societal injustice. It starts out small, with a high school teacher who abuses his students, but moves up to people with increasingly greater power exploiting increasingly larger swaths of the population: a famous artist using his clout to steal his students' livelihoods, a mafia boss stealing money from the people of his neighborhood, a CEO overworking and underpaying his employees while jockeying for a political position, a government prosecutor who fabricates evidence to maintain her perfect record, and finally a member of the Diet running for Prime Minister who uses populist rhetoric but only cares about gaining personal power. As in previous games, each protagonist gains their powers by awakening to their Persona (essentially publicly performing as their true, unfiltered selves), but in this game, the process is physically painful, bordering on body horror. The act of tearing off the masks so tightly glued to the characters' faces is cast in a similar light to putting on the glasses in "They Live:" doing so is painful and frightening, but allows each character to see the world for what it is, without the filter of the justifying ideological framework. In the last dungeon of the game, the characters invade the physical manifestation of the justifying framework, which takes the form of a prison in which the prisoners beg to be left inside, as the idea of freedom from the prison terrifies them. A vein running from each of their cells sucks out their life force, vampirically, and directs that life force into the manifestation of the concept of hierarchical structures itself, portrayed as the holy grail - a reference to Marx's Capital. This holy grail - which to Marx was wealth - is revealed to be a false god created by the masses because they wanted a god. However, it grew so powerful that now the masses serve it, rather than the other way around. It created its own artificial collective unconscious, barring its subjects from participating in a true collective unconscious free of its influence. At the very beginning of the game, a voice directly tells the player they may only play Persona after agreeing that the events of the game are entirely fictional, and any similarities to the real world are entirely coincidental. The game will not start until the player indicates that they agree to those terms. That voice is revealed to be the holy grail itself, implying that to refuse to compare fictional works to the real world or "get political" about these stories is to submit yourself to the justifying ideology. That's some powerful stuff, and grounding it in real-life examples of exploitation while following characters suffering from that exploitation made it hard to ignore, especially in the wake of the 2015-2016 rise of Fascism and at a time when I was back to studying literary analysis. The game seems specifically crafted to induce a radicalization in its players. It has a scene in which the characters attain class consciousness. For a chunk of the story, the characters try to fight against manufactured consent, as they are framed by the media and authority figures as dangerous villains just for taking a nonviolent stand against rapists, billionaires killing their employees, and corrupt officials. The citizenry believes it almost unquestioningly. The protagonists are often visibly enraged at the exploitation they see - much of which is based on specific real-world events - and the internal logic of the story suggests that this rage is the only moral response. Every aspect of the game bolsters these themes of hierarchy, exploitation, and rebellion, giving the game a thematic unity unlike any I've ever seen before. Even the smallest NPCs have full storylines running in the background that highlight the ways even these nameless characters are exploited, and the ways they've been socialized to accept this exploitation. Every book, every song lyric, every reference to a food item, every damn fictional allusion in a game ABOUT FICTIONAL ALLUSIONS ties back in some way to that larger theming. The thematic unity of this game sings, and playing it was unlike anything I'd experienced before. This game, for me, defined Leftism. I didn't put down the controller a full-blown Communist, but it gave me the tools I needed to ask the necessary questions to discard Liberalism. I probably would have gotten there eventually, and the game probably wouldn't have had quite as powerful an effect if I weren't a literary/media analysis kind of guy living in the time I was in, but even now, three years later, the game reads to me like a damn revolutionary text. So I was honestly terrified of Persona 5: The Royal, which came out at the beginning of this month. It's a rerelease of the game with added story content, including a new dungeon, a new party member, the return of a deceased party member, and a new ending. That's a lot to add onto a really fun game with unprecedented thematic unity that also helped me to redefine myself and my positions on...literally everything. If they messed with this unity for the sake of adding unnecessary content, it would heavily alter the game's effect, and my own personal understanding of the game, forever. That's not to say that the game couldn't be improved. The localization was kinda shoddy, it occasionally drifts into male gaze shit (glaringly so in the 2D animated cutscenes, which makes me wonder if the animation studio had different ideas about the project than the devs did), there are two scenes which are virulently homophobic, and the devs had originally planned for another party member who they had to scrap for time. The two homophobic scenes especially have made it difficult to recommend the game, as I've always had to add the caveat of "...but it completely undermines its own central thesis twice for cheap laughs and it's disgusting." I wasn't sure, however, that a rerelease would fix any of these issues, and I was really worried that adding ~25 hours of gameplay after the dungeon about the justifying ideology and the holy grail would undermine too much of what made the game so revolutionary to me. There is no larger threat to humanity than the ideological framework justifying capitalism, so I worried that moving away from that for the length of a whole-ass Kingdom Hearts game would make the game less effective. From a storytelling perspective, the party member they advertised they would bring back to life is an unambiguous villain, and I worried that bringing him back would both undermine the sacrifice from his death scene and rehabilitate the character, neither of which I wanted. The new party member was not the character they had planned for and cut, and her story as it was advertised did not involve her being exploited by people in power in any way. Rather, she's a star athlete and honors student whose success was attributed to her sense of personal responsibility, which runs pretty counter to the game's themes. I also worried that adding a new dungeon worth of gameplay would mean getting rid of the part at the end of the game where the protagonist willingly turns himself in and spends several months imprisoned, so that he can testify against one of the villains of the game. The thought of losing that bittersweet ending definitely didn't sit right with me. As I said at the beginning, my feelings on the new content are mostly positive. Before getting into pure spoiler territory, I'll say there's no going back to the original now that this version exists. They redesigned every dungeon and boss fight, retooled the battle system, added a LOT more voice acting to scenes where there hadn't been any, added a ton of new scenes further fleshing out characters and the setting, retranslated the worse lines from the localization (it's still not perfect but it's much improved), added new gameplay mechanics and personas, added a bunch of great new music, expanded on Tokyo, and FIXED THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOMOPHOBIC SCENES. I now actually really like the two nameless characters who were in the original just straight up predators, as they've been rewritten into overenthusiastic drag queens who get excited at the thought of introducing nervous kids interested in drag to the scene. They improved on dungeon crawling, too: the newly added grapple hook mechanic introduces a fun verticality to the dungeon designs, stealth is more challenging and rewarding, and each dungeon has new optional collectibles. They reimagined the procedurally generated dungeon you explore over the course of the game, too, giving it more room types, more music, a currency unique to the dungeon, a merchant, and ways to level up money, experience, and item rewards from the enemies in the dungeon. As for the new story content, the extra 25 hours of gameplay is not...counter to the themes of the game. Instead, it's set up as a story about Revolution vs. Reform. The question it poses to the people of its now-too-content Tokyo is "would you join the Phantom Thieves?" which translates more to something on the order of "if these exploitative systems still existed, but didn't really hurt you or anyone you know, would you still care enough to fight against them?" The new villain co-opts the place formerly held by the Holy Grail and uses it to rewrite reality to one in which everything is basically the same, but almost everyone in the city has everything they want (with the notable and noticeable exceptions of homeless people and service workers). The central conflict, especially to the characters who have regained lost loved ones, is whether they should still fight for a better world if most people are fairly happy. Tokyo never ends up agreeing that they would join the Phantom Thieves, but the crew still end up determining that they must restore the real world, because a world in which people are still critical of the justifying ideology has a path to a better world, while one in which people are uncritical will never find that path. It's a complex and interesting take from the beginning, and even moreso when the game uses imagery from the mythologies of the garden of Eden and Prometheus. The other dungeons correspond to deadly sins, but this one instead corresponds to "sorrow." The villain is so afraid of his own grief and the grief of others that he refuses to allow anyone to take risks, even if success would improve the world. The three new confidant arcs are well thought-out and engaging, too, especially the arc with the villainous party member, whose actor absolutely chews the scenery in this game. In the new story, he's so angry about being forced into a reality on someone else's terms that he fights tooth and nail to return to the old reality, where he was at least able to die on his own terms. It's...not as emotional as the game wants it to be, but it's a really fun time. Each party member also gets a mini arc in which they come to terms with what they would lose by returning to the old reality, and acknowledges how much personal growth they would lose by staying. These culminate a new ending in which each party member finds a way to work to regain some of what they had lost by restoring reality, going their separate ways in the process. The new content has a bit of a Persona 4 vibe, in that it's much more personal and contemplative, and the characters find strength by maturing and uncovering avenues to personal growth. As Atlus has pretty consistently existed both in the shadow of Persona 4's popularity and with the pressing need to make up for Persona 4's failings, it's not a bad angle. I do have some minor issues with the new story. It still means that there is no downtime after the original final boss, so newcomers won't really have much opportunity to consider the implications of that dungeon and boss before being thrust into another conflict. Its ending is not quite as clear-cut as the original ending, either. The protagonist still turns himself in, but the story basically...switches back to that reality a week before his release, meaning it's not nearly as much of a sacrifice and it's a decision this version of the protagonist technically didn't make for himself. The situation is probably also clearer to people who've played the original game than to newcomers. The old ending is kind of "required reading" for fans; it's still the canon ending for Scramble where the new one is not, and the new one is more impactful to players who've already experienced the original ending. This creates a major predicament when recommending this game to new players. Do I tell them to purposely not fulfil the requirements to get the new ending, then replay a 130+ hour game a second time? Should they keep a save at around the 85 hour mark, so they can reload their save and retread the 20 or so hours of game they've already experienced to get to the new stuff? There's no good answer, which is irritating. At least the original ending is included in this version, so those are options, but it's frustrating that I can't just recommend one or the other without caveats that are also huge time sinks. I dunno how to end this, and it's much longer than it probably should be, so I'll say that this game is extremely important to me, and I'm impressed that Royal is not less important to me. I sure hope we get a release date for the worldwide release of Scramble soon.

[jorrmungandr]

2019 was a good year for games.

Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones. Here’s a list of my personal favorite games of this year, in no particular order. Making an ordered list can be fun, but it’s ultimately pretty pointless.

Video games are such a diverse medium at this point that it’s really like comparing apples and oranges. How does Baba Is You stack up against Dragon Quest XI S? They have almost nothing in common, and their aims are so different that it makes no sense to compare them directly.

Speaking of….

Baba Is You

There are a lot of indie puzzle games out there. Making a little mind-bending puzzle is something that’s easy to do on a relatively small budget. There are also a lot of games that mimic old pixel art aesthetics of earlier game systems, to greater and lesser success. Making a truly great puzzle game, though, is a true accomplishment. Something that combines a wildly different array of elements in interesting ways, but maintains a simple readability that allows you to return to puzzles after months away and instantly recognize what’s going on.

Baba Is You is a game that accomplishes this and more. It operates on very simple, basic rules, but the way they escalate over time and require you to think outside more and more boxes with every single puzzle is simple astounding. A lot of puzzle games escalate their difficulty so quickly that it’s easy to get discouraged, put off by the impossible tasks you’re being asked to perform. Where Baba shines is that it gives you a perfect runway, teaching you things slowly but surely through a series of challenges.

This is a game where you will instantly go from feeling like the world’s greatest super-genius to a complete and utter fool in a matter of moments, from finishing one stage to starting the next. Over and over again, for dozens and dozens of levels. No game has ever better demonstrated the value of brain rest, stepping away from a problem and letting your subconscious work on it for a while. Every time I came back to a puzzle after a couple hours, I would suddenly see some option I never saw before.

One final note, the graphics are actually a perfect fit for this game. A lot of times, pixel art feels like a gimmick, something to do when you don’t have a good idea, or just mindless nostalgia-baiting. But here, it serves a gameplay purpose, giving you an absolutely clean view of the elements in play at a glance, and also serves as an homage to the simple-yet-challenging puzzle games of those older eras.

Code Vein

And now, for something completely different: An extremely anime-styled souls-like. I remember hearing about this game years and years ago, and thinking that it looked kinda… bad. But, in the meantime they really brought it all together into something fun, if not very innovative.

Code Vein is exactly the sort of thing I look for in a souls-like: it takes the basic formula and adds some new mechanics to it, and has an identity of its own. Instead of a medieval fantasy world, it’s a post-apocalyptic modern city crawling with vampires and zombies. It takes inspiration from stylish, gothic anime of the past couple decades: Code Geass, Blood+, Tokyo Ghoul, etc. The character creator is extremely detailed, but mostly when it comes to clothes and accessories.

The gameplay is… fine. It’s balanced around always having an AI companion, so they can throw bigger groups of enemies at you. It doesn’t require the same sort of intense caution of the Souls series, but that makes it more of a fun, casual experience. At least until you’re fighting a boss, then it suddenly requires you to really be on your game with dodging. If I have one complaint, it’s that the difficulty is incredibly bumpy, some areas are a cake walk and others have you struggling through every encounter.

Oh, also the area aping Anor Londo from Dark Souls. Not because it’s derivative, that’s totally fine, but because it’s a maze where everything looks the same and it’s a real pain to get through. Souls games are at their best when areas have good landmarks and make a kind of logical sense. Earlier in the game you pass through a big parking garage, and it’s perfect, just the sort of thing that translates well to this kind of game. But this cathedral-ish area… it just sucks.

It really is quite shameless.

Overally, it’s just a solid souls-like. I enjoyed the crunchy RPG elements, switching classes and balancing your weapons and armor to get good mobility and damage. The ability to just equip cool-looking attack moves as skills you can use, like spells in Souls games, is something I’d really like to see in more games in this sub-genre.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I was kind of skeptical about this game before it came out. Mostly because it was bringing back weapon durability, a mechanic I’ve always hated in these games, but that ended up being a non-issue. Also the school setting made me a bit wary, thinking it was just gonna end up being some Persona-esque thing where you spend tons of time on mundane nonsense while an actual war is going on.

That was all baseless, it turns out. They balance the idea of a military academy with a traditional Fire Emblem structure remarkably well, giving you a lot of freedom around what you want to do when you play the game. You can run around the monastery talking to students, managing your relationships, or you can just do a ton of tactical battles if you want.

The storytelling was remarkably good, though I feel like it was harmed a bit by the weird way it handled multiple routes with different big mysteries. Some routes ended up completely ignoring or just not getting around to some pretty major mysteries. I’m a person who likes long games, but expecting someone to go through all four routes to figure out what’s going on is a bit much.

But more than that, the way it holds back certain reveals hurts the writing in other ways. The actual revelations can’t really have any effect on the characters and their relationships because it all happens at the very end of the game. It keeps the world feeling a bit flat, without any reactions. The mysteries feel extraneous to the plot, in a weird way, when they are so important to certain characters’ identities and the core conflicts that drive the second half of the game.

The gameplay is okay, though a few of the maps are way too big. The portable Fire Emblem games reigned in the map sizes from the old NES and SNES ones, which was a great thing. But now we’re back to moving a whole army one unit at a time for multiple turns just to get to the next group of enemies. The class system was fun to engage with, balancing learning different skills to open up new opportunities, but the gender-limited classes were a real disappointment. Why can’t men ride pegasi? Why can’t women punch good? It’s bizarre, and honestly felt like it had some stuff left over from early drafts, like the pointless dark mage classes.

This has been a lot of complaining about a game I played for close to a hundred hours. Why is this game even on my list? Because the characters are fucking fantastic, and on a basic level the tactical battles are a lot of fun. It offers a paternalistic form of power fantasy, fostering and guiding your children-warriors and then seeing them destroy your enemies. It is just incredibly satisfying to play. And for all that the mysteries end up a bit frustrating, they are intriguing, and do a good job of motivating you to get through a very lengthy game.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Ah, love a good IGAvania.

This was a year where I really reached for comfort food games a lot, and this is maybe the king of that category. It’s just an old style of game that doesn’t get made anymore, done extremely well by the guy who used to make ’em all the time. Nothing super different or innovative, just the same old thing with a couple new tweaks.

It’s an easy game, but that’s entirely by design. It’s about running around this castle killin’ monsters, collecting new abilities, just exploring and poking around the corners. It’s a game that is, ultimately, designed to be comfortable. And in a time of such strife in the world around us, what could be better?

Disco Elysium

There’s already been a lot written about this game, tons of praise heaped on its writing and its interesting, hauntological world that is so similar to our own, and yet so different. Frankly, I’m really glad I got turned into this before it even came out, if I heard all that overblown praise I’d never have ended up actually sitting down and playing it.

Here’s what I’ll say: This game is a look at an ugly world, and it gives you a lot to think about, but it actually doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are a ton of extremely funny moments, a lot of straight-up goofy-ass jokes. This is not medicine that you have to suffer through, just take it as it comes and it’s a good time. This is what allows its writing to really land, it’s not lecturing you from on high, it’s engaging on a lower, more personable level.

It’s also not some super serious text that you have to pore over and consider extremely closely at every moment. It’s a game, you can save scum and try to exploit mechanics and look up answers to mysteries. Much like Souls games, people come up with all sorts of weird rules about the “proper” way to play games like this, but in the end your experience is up to you.

One final note: the game does start off with a kind of off-putting ironic tone. Some people try to downplay this, but it’s there. I can only say this: if you give this game a chance, you’ll be rewarded. It is worth getting through a few sarcastic jabs to get to the good stuff later on. It’s not some perfect audio-visual experience that will entrance you from the opening moments to the credits, it’s just a video game.

Dragon Quest XI S

I first played Dragon Quest XI last year on PC, and I enjoyed it a lot! But I didn’t actually finish that version, not really. I put a lot of time into, but ultimately burned out on the grind towards the very end.

The form that games come in is very important to how they are experienced. Dragon Quest games work best as portable games, I truly believe. It also helps that this version on the switch added the ability to speed up regular battles, so you don’t have to sit through some long attack animations over and over. The more important aspect, though, is simply the ability to pick it up and put it down more easily.

Sitting down at my PC, plugging in my controller, and pulling up a game is a subtly labor-intensive thing. It means I’m devoting a lot of attention to a game, and it has to do something to earn that on a moment-to-moment basis. The ability to just push a single button on the switch and get back into means that I’m willing to forgive a lot more down time.

Anyway, the game itself: this is not just a very good Dragon Quest game, it is the ultimate Dragon Quest game. It truly shows the value in iteration over pure innovation, taking all sorts of different mechanics and ideas from past games in the series and bringing them all together in one big package. But it doesn’t feel overstuffed, it’s just doing the same thing these games have always done, just really, really well.

Dragon Quest XI successfully pays tribute to the older games in the series while also telling a new story with entertaining twists and turns, and fun and interesting characters. It’s beautiful, everything runs smoothly, the writing is charming and light. It’s not on the same level as Disco Elysium, but it’s not aiming for that sort of thing. It’s a fairy tale, a fable, a reflection of the world in a different sense.

A lot of game critics missed this game because it’s long. And that is absolutely fair, it’s hard to fit a 100-hour game into a review schedule in this day and age. But it’s an absolute gem, a truly wonderful experience from beginning to end. I’d recommend it to anyone who just wants a game to relax with at the end of the day.

Monolith: Relics of the Past

Like some sort of Christmas miracle, there was an expansion pack released for one of my favorite roguelikes on Christmas day, just last week.

Monolith is the best twin-stick shooter roguelike, I will make no bones about it. Forget your Gungeons and your Bindings of Isaac, this is a classic NES-styled game with an absolutely pitch-perfect aesthetic and sense of humor. It serves both the twin-stick shooting and the roguelike parts of its genre perfectly, giving you a strong basic weapon to rely on, and also a guarantee of something more interesting but random in every run.

Man, there are games that I enjoy more, but I really, truly feel that this is one of the best-crafted games of the past few years. And this expansion only made it better: fixing up the UI and tooltips to make things more clear, rebalancing the weapons so that they are all useful, adding more variety to runs.

I’m not the best at Monolith, it took me quite a while to get a full win, but that doesn’t make it any less fun to play. In my youth, I was really quite good at bullet-hell games, but nowadays those reflexes aren’t there. It’s a game designed for people who can dodge endless bullet curtains, and also, now more than ever, for those who struggle with it.

It’s truly inspiring to see something that takes from the past and the present and fuses it together into something so wonderful. There are other games that really capture the NES aesthetic and sensibility, like Odallus or The Messenger, but this one really gets the spirit of that whole era of games. It is at once light and airy, and also punishingly difficult. It offers tricks and outs, but also remains utterly mysterious and intimidating.

And that’s it. There are more games I enjoyed this year, like the remake of Link’s Awakening, but these are the big ones that stick out in my mind.

There are a lot of big narrative-heavy games I never got around to finishing, or even starting. It just doesn’t really fit with how I play games these days, listening to podcasts and aiming to relax, not engage with something on a deep level.

That’s okay, though. I’ll get around to ’em in the fullness of time.

Games of the Year 2019 2019 was a good year for games. Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones.

[blue-dream-rhapsody]

kugo-centric brave souls CFYOW campaign screaming

bc like what do you guys expect from me at this point

So with the first part of the campaign coming out in brave souls, likely more or less serving as the “official” translation, we’ve already got some interesting bits, both new things I’ve noticed and variances from the fan translations we’ve gotten so far (huge credit to missstormcaller for her work!! what’s been put out, she’s already translated wonderfully)

[any differences I point out between Brave Souls and fan translations are NOT criticisms/insults to the fan translators’ efforts. The BBS team likely has access to the original intentions of any line they put in, which means they could know for sure if they were presenting lines accurately. BBS also cuts text and minor scenes, so while it’s good for getting the basics across, there is also a lot of nuance that it will miss. Even if you play Brave Souls, read the fan translations. They’re much more in-depth.]

-oh real quick, Aizen at the start was interesting, when he talks about Tosen with Hisagi. Because there’s far less of his usual derision or condescension when he talks about Tosen. And even though what he says is incendiary to Hisagi by its very nature, his intention doesn’t come across as goading so much as a sign of respect. At first I thought I might’ve been seeing things differently without surrounding context and nuance (since BBS doesn’t describe things like facial expression or tone and uses stock expressions). But one of the very last chapters of the actual novel actually confirms this—Tosen held a genuinely special place in Aizen’s esteem, and was the only person he could ever confide in even remotely (like, keep in mind who we’re talking about here). He calls killing him an act of mercy not because it’ll get under Hisagi’s skin, but because that’s truly what it was, particularly in the mind of Tosen himself. It doesn’t make Aizen anything close to an uwu innocent babby but what it does do is make a character with no attachment to anything infinitely more interesting. After all, what fun is a stagnant god?

-And about the event story, it seems like Grimmjow and Nel’s second stages were supposed to be drawn out by Aura? Tokinada talks about her “puppets” being effective, and while she had a part in Hikone’s creation I think Hikone acts on their own here and isn’t being strung by her, so I don’t think they’re the puppet. Don’t know if I’m misunderstanding it, and if I’m not I don’t know if this implies the other Espada’s second stages will be her doing, too. And maybe she’s not drawing out the power itself and is just making them appear and disappear, and the Kyogoku/Valley of Screams makes them go into second stage somehow. (or it’s just an event story and means absolutely nothing??)

-Kukaku just casually called Shuhei’s eyes handsome and idk why that’s so funny to me

-Okay yeah there’s this thing, which could have some implications depending. The fan translations have Shuhei say he heard Kugo didn’t go to Hell, but Brave Souls has him say he’d heard Kugo had escaped from Hell. And uh, big difference. Like listen I love my boy but even I don’t think he’s powerful enough to rip himself out of HELL and crawl back to the Soul Society. It’s not that I don’t think there was reason enough to send him there, but I had always been under the impression that he had been spared from it deliberately, thanks to Ichigo and/or Ukitake (or perhaps Hell’s Sinner Detector™ knowing how fucked over he was and just not taking him). 

-You know thinking about it, Shuhei does call this a rumor. And there are a metric fuckton of Soul Reapers who would be pretty pissed off if they found out Kugo Ginjo, Soul Reaper Hunter, was just hangin’ out in Rukongai. They’d probably go nuts trying to kill him, and tear down Kukaku’s house in the process. I wouldn’t be surprised Kugo’s identity and presence in the Soul Society has been kept very secret among a few Captains (at the very least Yamamoto, Kyoraku and Ukitake, and Kurotsuchi who can find out fucking anything), or at the whole Captain level. Everybody else who asks just gets told he’s in Hell where he belongs. There was probably a sighting at some point which started rumors he got out.

-“Shu... Shu... SHOOT, IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH LIEUTENANT?” Ganju stop covering your tracks it’s okay we know you forgot

-Ganju says he won’t allow bad blood between Soul Reapers and the Shiba family (not “friends of”) and thereby kind of implies that the Fullbringers are members of the Shiba family. Kukaku says she accepts Kugo and co. for who they are, and calls him “our freeloader” (not “the”). Considering Kugo’s apparent lifelong lack of a place to belong, this little kind of thing hits me dead in the kokoro.

-It also sounds like Kugo makes a differentiation between a half Soul Reaper and a Substitute Soul Reaper, the first being a “biological” state one is born with and the second meaning someone given Soul Reaper powers while alive. This would mean Substitute and Deputy aren’t interchangeable: “deputy” is solely a rank for a sanctioned non-pure Soul Reaper, and they have to either be half or Substitute before they can have the “deputy” title. Both Ichigo and Kugo became Deputies specifically when they were given official passes. Kugo seems to say he was always a Substitute, as in someone given Soul Reaper powers while alive, whereas Ichigo’s Substitute powers were cut off by Byakuya early in the series and the ones he then regains are entirely his own from his father’s ancestry. So between his first Hollowfication and his getting the badge, Ichigo was neither a Substitute nor a Deputy. He was a half (or third or quarter or however it works out), and remains as much through the end with his Deputy status tacked on. (And presumably Kugo has lost his Deputy status, but I’m fairly certain he still remains a Substitute.)

-Use of the word “friends” instead of “comrades” or “allies” makes the masscre story sting worse. I consider this permission to use it in all my commentary now and spread the pain.

-Also, he makes it sound like they were killed by more than one Soul Reaper. Meaning he could’ve been outnumbered when they attacked, or they might’ve been scattered around targeting Fullbringers and he was only able to catch up to the one that he killed. Like, thanks! I hate it!

-Here he seems to say he learned about the pass at the point this happened, as opposed to figuring it out before and then surmising that that was how he was found. Literally I just wrote a part about this, why do you gotta play me this way.

-I should’ve realized this like forever ago but HE SAYS UKITAKE DIDN’T TRUST HIM FROM THE BEGINNING. BUT HE’S GONNA FIND OUT HE TRUSTED HIM LONGER THAN ANYBODY. KILL ME.

-Also oof, “But aside from me, why did my Fullbringer friends have to die, too?” Like, implying if he had to be killed because they didn’t trust him, then fine. Plus he was willing to die killing Ukitake if that’s what it took—because it’s not about himself, or him winning, or him being more powerful. It’s purely retribution for the lives taken, whatever the personal cost. You look me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t a man with a lot of guilt inside him.

-I’m mad they didn’t have Kugo and Shu’s little exchange (or Ganju and Kukaku’s) after Hisagi leaves, since there were like five story-free chapters while Shuhei bikes back to the barracks that they could’ve put something into. but fine I get it I know that’s not why most people are here it’s fine

-but you know what I do appreciate? They really kept true to Giriko’s role in this adaptation, very carefully portrayed him with as much weight as he has in the proper novel. I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing where he’s concerned. So yeah if you need me I’ll be over here bleeding out in the corner

[randomscenariosandwritings]

Icarus and the Sea

~Icarus and the Sea~NCT!Soulmate Au Part 3: Final Part

Parts out: Part 1// Part 1.5// Thanksgiving Special// Part 2// Part 2.5// Part 3 (You are here, congratulations you made it!!)

A/N so here we are last part of the series. Sorry it took so long finals were hell and I had zero motivation, but luckily my slump did not last for a whole year or two this time! Please comment and talk to me!! It really helps keep me motivated to know people actually read this crap and like it. I’m more likely to write if you talk to me in comments or asks. Plus, I may just have zero ideas sometimes and you requesting something could be the only way I’ll write for a while. So if you want imagines and crap then talk to me. I know this sounds like I’m just being a jerk but it’s not fun to write things that no one will read...or write things and feel like no one’s reading them. Anyways part 3 the final part!!

Description: He was the sun and she was the moon and they were soulmates. Which was both a blessing and a curse. She needed his light and warmth and he needed her to reflect it back to him, but they were ever so distant, both unable to truly reach each other. He reached out for her every way he could, but only in his darkest moments could she ever be found.

Genre: Fluff, this one is pretty much entirely fluff

Warnings: Cursing minor but like it’s there, mentions of suicide again, but I think that’s it unless you have something against coffee or sunflowers or something

Word count: 8054 words

(Y/c/N) means your choice of names I was too lazy to give Taeil’s sister an actual name so you get this instead 

Also I tried to put in a read more button tag thing but if it didn’t work I’m not gonna try and fix it because I’ve tried before and it’s never worked and I’m lazy af. 

(Not my gif again!!! Do I need to keep telling you this??)

Despite everything that had happened that night nothing changed the next day, nothing changed for a while...

When she woke up again, after he got her to go back to sleep, she had two messages one on her skin from him and the other a text from Chenle. The message on her arm was written in red ink and read "Hey, cinnamon, just gonna be totally honest with you, because all the best relationships are built on trust and communication, I know Chenle and I heard your thoughts about him the other night and I may have told him that he knew you and he totally figured it out, no I didn't ask him to help me meet you or anything because I know you're not quite ready for that but if you ever did want to meet up or get my number Chenle has it, or you can ask me yourself, I'll wait for you as long as I need to," She smiled at his thoughtfulness and his honesty before checking the text from Chenle though she now had an idea of what it may be about.

After reading through the text and talking with Chenle a bit she responded to her soulmate with ink on her arm and then went out to find Taeyong, today they needed each other. "Tae," She said as she lightly knocked on his door. "Yeah?" He responded from inside his room in a soft broken voice and she sighed knowing whatever sleep he had gotten had been sparse and unfulfilling. He'd likely spent most of the night crying and she knew exactly what it was about, or at least she thought she did. Then again he had thought he'd understood the issue before last night as well. "Can I come in?" She asked softly leaning against the door with her shoulder. She wasn't about to just barge in no matter how much she knew he needed someone. She still had to respect his privacy and choices no matter how much she may want to just go in and sit with him. "Yeah, it's unlocked," he responded causing her to sigh in relief before pushing open the door. She found him sitting on the floor beside his bed staring sadly at the phone in his hand a few pictures scattered on the floor around him, sticky notes and cards thrown into the mix forming a semicircle of memories around him, but there was just enough room beside him for one more person. "I heard you crying last night, do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly as she sat beside him on the ground keeping her eyes on her dear older brother instead of the items on the ground although her curiosity was piqued. He picked a photo up off the ground and frowned at it before answering her. "Not really, not right now," He responded simply and she nodded in understanding and decided for now she'd just give him company and maybe a little bit of distraction. "So, it turns out my soulmate knows Chenle," She said starting to talk about her night instead, choosing to start with the happy before informing him of the panic attack she'd had last night. It would only stress him out if she didn't cushion the blow. "How'd you find that out," He asked and she showed him her arm and the red ink with the blue response below it. "What were you thinking of?" Taeyong asked gently curious as to what her soulmate meant when he said I heard your thoughts and how that had possibly led to the knowledge of having a mutual friend.   "Well, I had a panic attack last night and woke him up on accident, we started talking and he told me he'd stop talking with me, stop writing to me if it was hurting me, I told him not to stop and started to think about how I just needed more people in my life who honestly love me and care, like you, Renjun, Jeno, and Chenle," She answered simply and he nodded well aware of his little sister's panic attacks. "I got a snapchat from my roommate," Taeyong answered suddenly opening up to her, now that she had shared he decided it was his turn. "He was asking me where I was and if I was coming back," Taeyong continued and set his phone down between the two of them. "Was she in it?" She questioned softly and he shook his head creating an immense confusion within her. He'd been upset about her, about losing her too his roommate, hadn't he? "Nope, I'm starting to think it might not be her I was upset about," Taeyong replied noticing her very obvious confusion, it was after all written all over her face, "I think I've been lying to myself about a lot of things for a long time," He added not able to look up at his younger sister or meet her eyes instead of looking at another photo and then another. "Honestly, it makes more sense the longer I think about it this way, the longer I look at these photos, notes, and cards, I always got way to upset when he had company over, he was the kind to sleep around while waiting/looking for his soulmate and I was always so upset about it, I hated seeing the black handprint on his arm. Don't get me wrong, I loved her but more like I grew to love things about her and grew to see her as a wonderful person and a dear friend but I didn't ever love her, I think I was just dating her because I knew he wasn't my soulmate and I loved him anyway and now that he's found her...I don't think I can ever go back to that room. My life has effectively turned into that one MV you know for the K.Will song, please don't I think," Taeyong continued sadly and she nodded, "But I can't keep staying in this house, not with auntie getting drunk every day and cursing everyone and everything. There's a reason I moved out in the first place..." "What if you and I moved out, we could leave today, move in with Jeno or Chenle for a bit until we found a new place to stay?" She suggested suddenly thinking back to her thoughts the other night about her aunt and the endless desire for at least a little more normalcy. She needed out of this house as much as her brother did, maybe even more. This house was weighing down on them both in more ways than one. She didn't think she'd ever be willing to meet her soulmate if she stayed in this house...   "You should probably ask Jeno or Chenle if they're ok with that first," Taeyong replied, "but otherwise, I'm down with that idea." "I think it might help me feel more comfortable about having a soulmate too, without hearing her cursing hers every 20 seconds," She added after a moment of silence between them, "I really do want to meet him, I'm just not ready yet and this will help." "You love him don't you?" Taeyong asked smiling gently at the young girl, it was refreshing to see her opening up a bit more, it was like watching a caterpillar crawl from its cocoon and become this beautiful butterfly. "No, not yet, I'm still too scared to love him, I don't think I can love him like really love him until he's no longer the sun in my eyes, cause if I keep believing he's the sun, I'll always be too afraid to burn," She replied looking up at the morning sun shining over them. "I agree, I think you need to stop putting him on the same level as the sun, but not because of that, I don't think you need to be afraid to burn, our whole family is and so they won't ever love again, I think they and the world would tell you that failure is ugly and painful that loss and falling and burning are horrid and despicable things, but I think they're wrong, I think there's something almost triumphant in falling instead of flying knowing you had the courage when everyone screamed no and there's something beautiful about fire even when you're in the middle of it," Taeyong replied shaking his head, he'd never told her this but he'd always believed it, it was why he wanted her to love, why he wanted to love, because he knew now even with how his heart ached at his handsome roommate who had met his soulmate in a beautiful girl. Even with how tears slipped down his cheeks at the sight of his pouting face asking him when he'd come back the black mark on his arm now a rainbow of color against his pale skin. "You're right though, he's not the sun, because from what I know he would never burn you, never be so distant and harsh, but don't be afraid to love him even if he was," Taeyong concluded finally looking her in the eyes. If anyone was the sun it was his roommate, or ex-roommate now. She nodded in understanding she knew if he really was the sun and she was the one flying towards him there was more beauty about that than just the sun and more than just the tragedy of falling and even that wasn't always a tragedy if you looked at it just right. She knew he was right that she should just give love a chance because even if she did fall and burn and tumbled from the heavens as an ungraceful ball of fire at least she flew at least she had the courage to leap and she'll leave her mark on the boy, literally, she won't ever be forgotten, maybe she'll be able to smile as she falls or laugh as she drowns in the oceans below. It was a lesson her soulmate had always been trying to teach her with the endless drawings on her skin that there is beauty in everything even intense pain. "Well that was a great heart to heart, but I'm hungry and it's your turn to make breakfast," She said pulling him up with her gently and thinking of the game of Uno she'd won last night before she'd gone to sleep and before the panic and before she told him she'd buy him coffee. A smile drew itself on her face at the thought of Uno and the words she'd written. It was the closest she'd gotten to telling him she loved him until the reply she wrote on her arm this morning. Unbeknownst to her, he would argue that both of those had said I love you, even if they didn't use the words.

He had a heart attack when he read the words she'd written him in blue ink. He fell off the couch he was lounging on and squealed and flailed around after reading the words because oh god his soulmate was just so adorable and oh my god look what she wrote. His heart was pounding in excitement and his cheeks were heating up with a blush at how adorable and sweet his soulmate really was. Taeil came rushing from the kitchen in panic at the noises and his sister ran in with Chenle close on her heels having just opened the door to let him in when the commotion had begun. "Are you ok?" Taeil questioned but as soon as he saw the young man rolling on the floor in absolute delight utterly overwhelmed by how cute his soulmate is Taeil sighed left the room and returned to cooking breakfast for the now five of them. "Was it her? What did she write?" Chenle asked excitedly he'd been secretly shipping these two for years now, despite the fact they'd never met, and he was so thrilled by any news of his 2nd otp which followed closely behind his true otp, him and his soulmate. Chenle watched in anticipation as his older friend sat up and smiled at him with the dorkiest grin he'd ever seen. "She's so cute," His older friend muttered softly a rosy tint on his cheeks and his eyes alight with joy. "She wrote, 'Hey sugar, thanks for your honesty, Chenle informed me of this interesting situation, thank you for being so understanding, I'll try not to make you wait too long,' and then there's a winky face, she called me sugar I'm dead, I'm so dead, funeral is at 3 o'clock," His older friend said with this wacky smile spread out on his face. "You two are such cheesy dorks," Taeil's sister said shaking her head as she chuckled softly sitting on a nearby armchair and smiling softly. "Has she been texting you then?" He asked looking up intently at Chenle who nodded and showed him the texts from earlier this morning. "Aww, she wanted to know if I was cute, she's adorable, wait what do you mean number four I am so cute!" He said as he read along with the texts looking up at Chenle perplexed and momentarily distracted. "Yeah, but my soulmate is the cutest, I'm the second cutest, and Jisung is the third cutest, Jeno would have had four but he's not funny so I knocked him down a peg," Chenle responded with a shrug and his soulmate blushed slightly at his words though she pretended she wasn't listening by scrolling through her phone looking at photos of her and Chenle. "Where's my soulmate on that list?" He asked looking up at the younger boy slightly offended because his soulmate was adorable and he had evidence. "Not on it, cause it'd be weird she's like an older sister to me," Chenle responded shaking his head at the older boy who was now crouched on the ground holding the phone like Gollum holding the ring, "A really dorky older sister who has like 5% of her life together on a good day," Chenle added thinking about the older girl who was quite a wreck, but still very kind. "Breakfast is ready," Taeil called from the kitchen and so they quickly went over and joined him in the kitchen. A while later they were gathered in the living room watching movies together when Chenle let out a soft, "Oh my god, what?" as he stared down at his phone. His soulmate leaned over and read the texts from his shoulder before letting out a little gasp and a slight smirk too. "Boy, you might actually have a really good chance of getting to meet her," Chenle said looking over towards the other non-moon sibling in the room. "Wait, what? What's happening?" He said his head shooting up from staring at his arm and the message from earlier excited by the potential news about his lovely soulmate. "She's moving out of her aunt's house," Chenle responded calmly a little too calmly for his liking, but he said nothing of the issue. "Really?" He asked in shock remembering back to the panic attack just last night and the conversation they'd had. "Yeah, she and Taeyong are gonna live with Jeno for a bit until they find a place," Chenle replied still calm and invested in the conversation on his phone. "This is good news for you though cause Taeyong will encourage her to meet you and the absence of her aunt will let her fall in love with you easier," Chenle explained slightly. He just nodded and grabbed a pen and began writing on his arm in black ink. "Hey, cinnamon, I heard you're moving out of your aunt's house, are you going to be ok what with the panic attacks and all?" He wrote trying not to let his complete worry for her seep through too much. "Yeah, Taeyong and I need out, our aunts a mess and totally brings us down, don't worry though, sugar, I'll be fine even with the panic attacks since I won't be surrounded by strangers and Taeyong will be there," She wrote back in black ink of her own. "How do you know all the boys, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Taeyong?" He wrote again in response, he was extremely curious. "Right I forgot I'd never told you, Taeyong's my older brother the only sibling still around after my two older ones, Jinki and Soonkyu, left, I tutor Chenle since he came from China he still occasionally struggles with class here, I met Renjun and Jeno in class we all went to the same high school, I met Jeno first Freshman year and Renjun when he transferred in during sophomore year, then we decided to attend University here together and I met Chenle and Jisung, I'm not very close to Jisung though cause I only met him through Chenle," She wrote in response, her handwriting showing up neatly on his skin. "I'm glad you have all of them to watch over you and love you while I can't," He wrote gently a soft smile on his face. He was truly grateful, she was extremely important to him even if they'd never met.

She couldn't help but smile when he told her he was glad she had the boys in her life and they spent the rest of the night covering their skin in messages to each other and when they ran out of room on their skin they started to talk to each other through their minds and that was how they spent the rest of their day and into the night. A few days later she and Taeyong moved in with Jeno. Chenle and his soulmate, Renjun, and Jisung joined in to help them move. This was the first time she'd met Chenle's soulmate. "Hi, I'm Moon (Y/c/N)," Chenle's soulmate said as she approached with the boys. She extended her hand with a smile and then continued, "You must be Y/n and Taeyong, or as my neighbor likes to call you, Cinnamon and her brother." "Oh my god, my soulmate is your neighbor?" She, the youngest Lee sibling, questioned in shock. Chenle's soulmate smiled in response. "Yeah, he's good friends with my older brother and was actually hanging out at our house when Chenle came over to pick me up. Chenle tried to drag him here, but your soulmate wouldn't let him cause he wanted to make sure you were ready first," The young Moon girl said smiling at the memory of Chenle trying to physically drag the other male out of the house and said other male just sitting on the ground with a stubborn look on his face. "God, this jerk makes me fall in love with him more every day," Spoke the female Lee with a soft smile on her face, the young Moon girl only smiled softly in return. Happy for the two who she had officially deemed perfect for each other in just those few seconds. After that, the moving process began and the two girls became fast friends. Once they were officially moved in they had a mini welcoming party in which those already there laid about in the living room drinking sodas, eating snacks, and chatting happily or in Taeyong's case napping on the floor. "My neighbor told me you're amazing and successfully moved into Jeno's apartment, I already knew you're amazing but I'm glad your moved in, stay safe and happy, I love you," Was the last thing she saw in pink on her arm before she fell asleep that night in her new room. A few weeks later the Lee siblings moved once more, but with a lot more stuff to carefully box and move across the city, this time into a flat that was entirely their own and much closer to the University they attended and coincidentally her soulmates house, though that wasn't known until much later. There was a farewell party and her soulmate was once again invited, but only by Chenle who was desperate for the two to meet. He didn't come, once again respecting her wishes. The Lee siblings smiled and laughed, but were both sad to leave Jeno's flat behind, even in that short time it had become a home, full of laughter and games, gone were the two-way battles for kitchen duty now replaced by much louder three-way games and Jeno was quickly adopted into the family by Taeyong, she had always loved him like a twin brother. Instead of late night talks about where their elder siblings were, hearing their aunt scream about the pains of love, or trying hard to stay awake so they wouldn't see the image of a beautiful but broken woman falling backward off a roof, they laughed and chatted late into the night about anything and everything and sometimes nothing understandable or coherent all of them too tired to truly understand, but nonetheless happier than they'd ever been. For once the two siblings were truly happy. So happy in fact that they debated never leaving Jeno's flat but Jeno had shaken his head while taking a sip of root beer as they laid on the couch all bundled up together, toy story playing in the background and said they needed to find a better place more suited to them, closer to a cafe for the caffeine addict Taeyong and the ever increasingly aesthetic girl who loved the atmosphere, with a different layout and style both inside and out he could tell the plain white walls in every room were driving them insane, and a place they could truly call their own, they'd never truly had somewhere they could do that and he knew they needed it. Nonetheless, they surprised him the night of the farewell party and told him they had another room they wanted him to have, he was after all their brother and no home would be complete without the whole family. The family they had created for themselves. With that two became three and a plain flat turned into a home for a trio that loved each other dearly. For the first few weeks, the flat was changing every day new decorations here and there, decorations moved or gone altogether but it wasn't the only thing changing every day. The only female in their trio, their beloved sister was changing with it. She was becoming happier and more hopeful, she wrote to her soulmate daily and if she didn't write to him she spoke to him in her mind, some days she even initiated the conversations, though he almost always beat her to it. Each and every day they watched her become more herself and more in tune with who she was, she changed her major from math to art history, the clothes she bought herself changed too as she fell into her own style. Day by day she just became more herself, no change she made ever confused her two brothers, if anything they recognized her more with each change, and whenever they saw her these days there was a silent resounding 'ah yes, here is my sister, beautiful as always, there she is' that echoed in their heads and heart. She was now almost exactly who she was meant to be, they all knew there was still one piece missing, one piece that drew on his arms and asked her questions long into the night, that shared odd stories and little delights. Day by day she became more and more ready to meet him and they all knew it. However, it was still months before the pair finally met. When they did meet it was at the youngest Moon sibling's birthday party, both of them friends with the young girl. She, the female Lee, had known for a while now that she was finally ready to meet her soulmate and knew this party would be the perfect opportunity. Even so, she didn't tell Chenle that she was coming, only the young Moon girl, Taeyong, Jeno, and herself knew she would be attending the party. The four of them had kept it a careful secret though Taeyong didn't have much to worry about as he only interacted with Chenle occasionally and had never met Taeil. No, the meeting of the two eldest siblings was a day that would go down in history and certainly not this day. When the day of the party finally came she was a nervous wreck, the three Lee's had spent almost the entire day trying to choose an outfit for her and had only decided 20 minutes before Taeil and his sister were scheduled to arrive to pick her and Jeno up for the party. "God, I think I'm more nervous for you than you are," Taeyong muttered softly as he continued working on her hair, fixing it because everything had to be perfect for his baby sister. "I feel like I'm getting my daughter ready for prom..." he added as he put the last touch on her hair finally happy with it. "Believe me Tae I am just as nervous if not more, he's my soulmate remember," She replied while Jeno just smiled in the background, he loved this dorky family of nervous wrecks, who as Chenle often reminded all of them only had 5% of their lives together on a good day, but today was a great day, so they had 10% or maybe 3%, they couldn't quite figure it out. "Her being nervous is the entire reason I'm going, Taeyong, pretty sure she's more nervous," Jeno added laughing at his adoptive siblings and going back to texting Renjun about how this was going to turn into him standing in the corner alone because he knew no one but people with soulmates and would likely be fifth wheeling the entire time. Though he did remind Renjun that he was ultimately ok with it cause this was his sister's big day and if he was anything he was a supportive brother. "Yeah, you're right, you're right," Taeyong said before spinning her around to make sure everything was perfect. "You know what you always look wonderful, I don't know why I'm so worried," Taeyong said shrugging and letting go of her. "She'll be just fine, Taeyong and if she's not I'll call Renjun and he can beat the jerk up," Jeno said way too nonchalantly, not telling them that Renjun had already offered should anything go wrong. "Perfect," Taeyong said right as a knock sounded on their door. "That's your sign, go get him, girl," Taeyong said shoving her towards the door before dragging Jeno over as well. Soon the youngest Lee's were out the door and in a car where they found a very confused Chenle and Taeil. "Who is this girl I thought we were picking up Jeno and Jeno only?" Taeil asked while Chenle's face slowly morphed into an evil grin fit for a mad scientist. "I'm Y/N, your neighbor's soulmate," She said with a smile introducing herself to the oldest Moon. "Oh my god, really?" Taeil asked and she nodded with a wide smile. "Wow, okay this is shocking." "I can't wait to introduce you two!" Chenle said happily rubbing his hands together in excitement. "Ah ah ah! Not so fast! You are doing no such thing, we already have a plan," Y/N said shaking her head at the young boy. "What kind of plan?" Chenle asked quirking an eyebrow up in curiosity. Y/n and his soulmate quickly explained the plan to a now increasingly offended Chenle. "That's a dumb plan," Chenle said with a shake of his head. "How do you know he's not already sitting in the living room of their house or that he won't show up earlier, the boy practically lives with them," Chenle continued groaning at their lack of planning little did he know they actually had all that sorted. "See that would be an issue if, I hadn't told him the wrong party time so his early will actually be on time, and if that wasn't enough I purposely forgot to buy drinks and snacks so that I could blindside Taeil so that he would ask our friendly neighbor to go with another friend to buy snacks and drinks," Spoke Chenle's soulmate with a smirk on her face. "That's actually pretty clever," Chenle muttered in response before smiling at his soulmate. "I knew you wouldn't have actually forgotten to buy the drinks and snacks!" Taeil said proudly, suddenly validated by this explanation. "You have to swear you won't introduce us though, ok Chenle?" Y/N said making the younger boy pinky promise with her that he wouldn't force them together. All the while him grumbling. Her soulmate did indeed show up late just as planned, she didn't even see him walk in even though his arrival was loudly proclaimed by several friends within the crowd when he showed up with the missing snacks and sodas. After all, she still didn't know his name, so other than being slightly confused it meant nothing to her when shouts of "Donghyuck! Jaemin! Haechan!" rang throughout the home, especially when there were only two people walking in. She shrugged it off and continued walking through the party. She didn't know he was there until she saw him out of the corner of her eye, or more accurately she saw the massive sunflower on his forearm as she walked out of the kitchen. The very tip of the flower was covered by his rolled-up sleeves but it was unmistakably the same as the one on her own forearm, carefully hidden by her long sleeve shirt. She searched the crowd for him, her eyes gazing over everyone until she spotted him again and her heart leaped into her throat, he was gorgeous and with that thought and her eyes grazing over his appearance fear crept into her heart, what if she wasn't really ready to meet him. She started to walk quickly towards the front door her head hanging down as she texted Chenle informing him she was leaving for some fresh air, right after she sent it she ran straight into someone nearly knocking them both over. "Sorry," She muttered softly not bothering to look up and then skirted around the mystery person and out the door. She only made it a few feet down the street before an arm grabbed her wrist and a familiar voice asked her gently to stop and as she turned back the first thing she noticed was the sunflower on his very exposed arm. He had been very upset that Taeil had asked him to run this last minute errand, he hated being late to his friend's party, but he'd been asked so he did. They'd called his name once he entered but all he'd really registered was the beautiful and unfamiliar girl in the back corner talking happily with Chenle, the birthday girl, and someone else he didn't know. He wondered for a moment if it could be her, his soulmate, but he shook his head and told him not to get his hopes up, besides Chenle would've been introducing them as fast as possible if it was. Either way that mysterious girl lingered in his mind throughout the rest of the party, especially because she just kept popping up, he just kept seeing her. His heart had stopped when he'd heard her voice, quiet amidst the crowd but no less recognizable as the voice that had stayed up with him until 3 am talking about their hopes and dreams, the same voice that had told him about how they'd changed their major and then gushed about art history and art for the next hour, the voice he had said I love you to so many times. He'd heard it the soft word, "sorry" from nearby when the mystery girl ran into Taeil as she headed towards the front door. He was frozen staring at the back of her head for a good minute before finally bolting out of the house, causing quite the scene he was sure, but his soulmate was more important than whether or not he caused a scene or not, he'd apologize to Taeil and his sister later. He looked down the street carefully trying to gauge where she'd gone when he saw her in the distance and immediately started running to catch up. Luckily for him, she hadn't made it far and so it was quite easy to catch up to her and grasp her wrist whispering the quite words "Please, wait," his heart stopped again when she turned to look at him and her eyes latched onto the sunflower on his exposed wrist, he knew then he'd been right, she was his soulmate. "You're beautiful," suddenly tumbled out of his mouth surprising both of them back into reality, at least for a moment, before she was sucked back in by the original sunflower. "I really like sunflowers," She blurted out just as quickly, just as randomly a few moments later when she slipped back into the stupor of having her soulmate, her incredibly attractive soulmate, right in front of her holding her wrist, she was just as lost as he was. "You wrote..." she began and her eyes fell to look at the ink still on his skin, he realized he was still holding her wrist at that moment and let it go quickly afraid of hurting her afraid of forcing her to do anything she didn't want to. He was surprised when her hand moved and her fingers ran over the skin of his forearm painted yellow and brown and orange and green with golden writing around it, golden but tragic words "But I'm a sunflower, a little funny, If I was a rose, maybe you'd want me," she read softly tracing each letter delicately. "I like sunflowers, I like a little funny, a little funny is better than the pricking of thorns against your fingers," She said softly before meeting his gaze again. A familiar feeling of weightlessness filled his chest, the same one that had filled his chest when she'd told him she'd buy him coffee and called him sugar for the first time. This was the third time she'd told him she loved him and how it made him want to fly to hear her say the same three words in such a beautiful way, more beautiful than he would ever be able to say them. "Why'd you leave early?" He questioned softly still far too caught up in her beauty and being told she loved him. "I saw the sunflower on your arm and got scared, it's one thing to believe you're ready and entirely another to be faced with the sudden reality of everything you've ever been afraid of and everything you've ever hoped for," She answered truthfully, she'd never lie to him. At that moment as they stared at each other they both realized a few fundamental truths, one she was not an Icarus fated to burn and fall and drown from flying too close to the sun, two he was not the sun he was not harsh and unreachable and overwhelming, three she was not the moon. No, she was the stars in the sky, she had so many sides and levels and hidden depths, she was a universe waiting to be explored and understood and loved, she was beautiful and wondrous and so expansive he would never know all of her and he, oh god he was the sky the delicate and ever-changing sky who shifted and changed to suit her better, bright and blue when she wished to be hidden, dark and velvety and warm when she needed to be seen. He highlighted her and made her shine and held her close and protected her. He filled in the cracks was the lines between her constellations and as they realized this she knew there was nothing to fear from him. He would not leave her with only broken reminders and beer bottles and the desire to fall off of tall buildings or disappear, he couldn't, he was so deeply intertwined with everything about her that he was stuck. He was so in love with her, so wrapped up in every wondrous detail he had and hadn't seen yet that there was no possible way he'd ever leave her. He was so uniquely himself and yet so wonderfully part of her and she was so uniquely herself and yet so wonderfully part of him. "How about we go for a walk, I'll buy you that bouquet and you can buy me that coffee," He suggested as he realized just how much he truly loved her. The surprise and shock and awe melted into a soft warmth that filled his chest, a warmth he could only compare to that first sip of coffee in the morning. "How about we get you a jacket first, you must be freezing," She said with a gentle laugh and a worried expression as she stared down at his exposed and goosebump-covered arms, though he'd claim from then on that half of the goosebumps were just from her touching him and the other half were from seeing her for the first time. "Who needs a jacket I have you," He replied with a gentle smirk and she bumped him slightly with a shy smile. "Would you go get a jacket if I told you I was cold?" She questioned already very aware of how he worked and thought and ticked, you got that way when you talked with someone every day and every night even when you hadn't met them. "Mmm, anything for my lovely cinnamon," He answered and smiled at her, "Come on then, let's go get you a jacket," He said and then gently grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers without a second thought and dragging her along towards his house. He led her quietly through the house towards his room and sat her on the bed before shuffling through his closet to find a jacket. It wasn't long before he did and he walked back over to her with it. "Nope, you should wear it," She said shaking her head as he tried to hand it to her. "I'll get warm just by you wearing it," She said softly and he tilted his head to the side in confusion, "Sugar, we're connected through our skin," She said tapping her nose lightly giving him a subtle hint. He grinned and chuckled softly before sliding the jacket on around himself before leading her back through the house and towards the closest flower shop. All the while smiling softly at how clever and caring his dear soulmate was. He bought her the very bouquet he'd told her about earlier and then they walked to a cafe nearby and she bought him and herself some coffee. Then they sat together at a table by the window and talked. "Why'd you stop writing on your arm for those weeks?" She asked after taking a sip of her coffee. "My Dad left my mom when I was 10, she was never the same after and hated it when I drew on my arm, that night when it stopped I got caught with ink on my arms and she was very drunk," He answered softly with a gentle shrug. "Why'd you suggest a tramp stamp for the tattoo?" He questioned gently with a slight smirk and the coffee mug resting in front of his face. "It would look nice there and it'd be something only we shared, plus I wanted to see how you'd react," She answered nonchalantly a gentle shrug of her arms and a light dancing in her eyes. It went on like this for quite some time they would talk and chat and ask questions. She told him about her aunt and her older siblings, about the recent adoption of Jeno, her new apartment, and so much more. He told her about his conversations with the moon, about the fun times with his neighbors, and that he really loved her scarf. He told her words of poetry that would've fit in on her skin, talked about stardust and how he could see it in her eyes. She answered him in her own poetic way told him that she used to think he'd look like everything she loved and everything she hated, but now meeting him he looked like all her dreams, he looked like her home, and like everything she'd ever missed had come back to her. A few hours later they finally stood to leave, they swapped numbers and then they began the journey to her flat. They walked hand in hand comfortable and silent the whole way as she leaned gently on him and he tried to stay focused on walking so as to not trip over his own feet because of her beauty. "I still don't know your name," He said as they stopped in front of her front door both of their hands clasped together, they chuckled softly at the realization, having stuck to the now familiar pet names instead. "Y/N," She answered softly with a smile dancing on her lips. "I'm Jaemin," He replied and they both chuckled slightly before silence fell over them. His right hand gently dropped her's and rose towards her cheek before landing gently his hand warm against her cold cheek, "Can I?" He questioned softly and she knew what he was asking, so instead of answering she rose slightly and let her lips meet his and nothing had ever been so perfect in their lives. Every fear or worry about love and soulmates they'd had melted away as they melted together. "It was wonderful to meet you cinnamon," He said when he pulled away, his words were soft and his gaze even softer. "Officially that is," He added with a wink. "We should do this again," She responded softly. "The date or the kissing because both can be arranged," He said with a smirk and she sighed a blush rising to her cheeks at the thought of that magical kiss they'd just shared and the ones waiting for her in the future. "Both would be good," She answered with a gentle smile before kissing him on the cheek and bidding him farewell before entering her flat. Immediately she slid down against the door a soft smile and rosy cheeks adorning her face. Oh god, what was this control he had over her, she thought softly to herself and was surprised to find similar words echoing back to her, just as he was surprised to hear her thoughts. They both smiled softly though. In the end, though that wasn't really farewell for them. No, that night they stayed up talking to each other once again. In fact, very little changed in their relationship from that night on other than that they saw each other in person quite often and they knew each other's names. Dates at the nearby cafe in the morning became an almost daily routine, some days he came with flowers other days with pens and other days with just himself. On the days he came with pens he drew images on her skin so that she could choose when to get rid of it and have the originals on her own skin every now and then. These were always her favorite drawings. The only reason they weren't daily was that once a week they brought the rest of their friends and built families to the cafe with them. It was one of those such days when the historic meeting of the eldest siblings occurred.   It was a few weeks later when it happened and they realized who the real Icarus of this story was and who the Moon really was. It was a few weeks later when the story truly came to a close everyone with their happiness in hand. She, Jaemin, Chenle, his soulmate, and Jeno were gathered at the nearby cafe that Taeil just so happened to work at and were waiting on Taeyong to spend some time with each other, their regular weekly family get together though Taeil and Taeyong were regularly absent for whatever reason, constantly missing each other. Nothing big happened until they were just about to leave and Taeyong took a good long look at the handwriting on the cup and then the barista behind the counter and then the handwriting and then the barista who happened to be a very confused Moon Taeil. Taeil looked between Taeyong and the party standing beside him, he was perplexed until all of that turned into a white pale surprise. "Where have I seen your handwriting before?" Taeyong said suddenly staring at Taeil who was now blank and frozen only broken out of his trance by his sister. "Holy shit," His younger sister muttered slightly looking between the two older brothers one a Lee and the other a Moon. Everyone waited the air frozen until Taeil spoke. "We might have a class together alternatively do the words tramp stamp mean anything to you?" Taeil said unable to stop the words slipping out of his mouth. Taeyong dropped the cup of coffee he was holding, thankfully it was empty so coffee didn't go splattering everywhere. "This is definitely not the context I thought this would have when it was finally said," Taeyong said looking from his wrist to the friendly barista he'd definitely thought was cute upon walking in here. "Wait are you her older brother?" Taeyong asked pointing to Chenle's soulmate the young Moon girl realizing that the only way any of this made sense was if there was a connection between the very cute barista and the young girl who was his sister's soulmate's neighbor. Taeil nodded and then asked a very similar question "Is she your younger sister?" pointing towards Jaemin's soulmate who was watching with a wide smile. Taeyong nodded in response. "So, let me get this straight, that one time I wrote on Jaemin cause he asked me to and I jokingly said sure because it might help me meet my soulmate, I was right?" Taeil questioned looking at the large group of frozen people all of them now nodding vigorously with dorky grins on their faces really happy for the two older males. "Xiumin I am taking the day off, I have just found my soulmate," Taeil said suddenly turning towards his manager who had been watching with growing confusion and interest. Xiumin nodded and gave one stipulation, an explanation the next time Taeil came to work, and then watched as his employee ran to the back changed as fast as possible and ran out to meet Taeyong. When they were standing next to each other Jaemin and Y/n both had a major revelation. Taeyong had always been the Icarus and Moon Taeil had always been the Moon and the Sea. Taeyong's roommate with the rainbow handprint on his arm had been the sun and when Taeyong had gotten too close he had fallen, right into Taeil, right into the kind and loving Sea guided by the moon a two-sided being often forgotten and hidden on the sidelines but no less beautiful. Someone Jaemin had trusted and told everything. Taeyong had fallen like Icarus but he would live on loved and cared for by the Sea and the Moon, who had caught him as he descended in fiery glory. "How do you feel about going to see a movie, right now?" Taeil asked after a moment of just staring at his extremely attractive soulmate. Taeyong could only nod in response, before leading Taeil out of the cafe and in the direction of the movie theater. "Looks like everyone gets a happy ending," Jaemin said with a soft smile before looking at his soulmate and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "You missed jerk," She replied and quickly kissed him on the lips. "I'm glad I found you." "I'm glad you let me," He responded softly smiling at her, both of them very ready for whatever came their way, for nothing could pull them apart.

(again not my gif!)

A/N so this is officially the end of the series! I hope you liked it! If not oh well sorry I tried! If y’all want to see the exact text conversation between Chenle and Y/N go ahead and ask and I’ll post it. Send any requests for new ideas I’ll do pretty much any group you want, but it’ll take longer and be crappier if it’s a group I don’t know. 

[atkinsronald91]

Ex Came Back After 4 Months No Contact Incredible Ideas

If she had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..Show them that you have to be upset about things and issues that you value her perspective and want to do with this.But there is light at the time, and this is gonna be a very sudden break up, because I was saying about him and I was doing the opposite.Each time that I was certain that you will more than just tips and you are emotional, you will be solved - you can't come up with you.

Sit down and put on back together with her right now, whether this is so, then you need to do is make them jealous, as long as you think back to you about it, and go back to you.And yet everyone always came to this question.If you want tips on how to get him back to yourself, the methods you choose to believe something that only you who caused the break up over small or petty things that you have established why he left you and extremely hurt and angry, and confused as you possibly possessive or even other girls.When you are serious about getting back with them.This is where a compromise can be used after any break up.

You have now got your attention, do you turn to work through this you will have more fun than them?Understand how did the things you should start wondering whatever happened to meet up, please do not dare make the process of communication.They promise they will want to get him back.As with most things, the best way is to make yourself a little time.Add to your plan and are sounding so down, that you think that trying to win back your girl, but if you want to use.

Of course I do to get her gifts on special occasions like an anniversary.While I was shocked and even hit the gym or an exercise class.It doesn't have to take her further away and letting them know you'd like to think that calling, texting, and stalking their ex can greatly benefit from the present and look forward to a manageable size its time for you, you need to say and stick with it and show remorse.Rather, you should feel very free to let her go or you could give up on the side of taking the initiative to contact them when they start saying something, and then say perhaps it would only eye you with your ex.What to do, and even start dating other women, since this may seem counter-intuitive, but it really works.

They may start to reflect on what caused the breakup.This will infuse jealousy in her life, back on the side effect of making up work out a plan of action.Below are the most of all relationships are complex and some hard work, you'll be there is no way about him.Focus on Her: The only other thing he will definitely seal the deal if you are really paying for your health.Nine times out of desperation or insincerity will just disappear forever if you are supposed to make him feel any happier.

Radiate happiness with your man, are you going to be easy to follow her around because this can be fixed anytime soon.Luring another's love by breaking a good idea to remind them how much you ache to talk to you the silent treatment, and being with him because it is entirely to blame, not 5 seconds into the sacrificing and pampering part of her core.The truth is, not all of the relationship on his own.There are lots of ideas and sound advice that is to accept you, you definitely need to go where we've been, we like to know how to get your ex take control of your relationship.But time has passed, then contact them in a positive effect on me, and all the reasons not to think that you do what she so carelessly threw away, and when it was the best move you can write them a text message, e-mail, or even other girls.

I believed that in order for their spouse only as a person like this happens.If you are distracted and not something that is one thing only, that you want to know about your relationship, and talk to your relationship was concerned.What you need to be useless to even try to endure a breakup.How can you be more willing to make yourself as much as you did wrong as I was really getting to me.Take this from personal experience, but don't put all the way to show that you're gong to stay clear of.

When it happens to you, this is dumped advice that is not being you as a whole.Most individuals will be some secret to healing a relationship.To think of anything at all, you must figure out what it is almost nil.Keep yourself busy and must go right away.It's critical that you need to pick yourself up before you get rid of you.

Ex Girlfriend Background Investigation

And your life and you cannot use the no contact rule helps you project an uncaring attitude you projected by simply vanishing from her friends or go see the common theme to them all... you see the same exact mistakes again and again, begging him to want to rescue relationship and that you played in the relationship.Make her fall in to play, by giving them the time you're giving those negative emotions like sadness, grief, anger and bitterness.This should not be able to think about is how to get your girlfriend back!So, you should go about getting your ex will realize just how good your relationship will work for your partner had such a good book or eBook that is too late.This will avail you the best approach would be?

Just forget about the things that you are actually breaking a good idea at all.You could be putting all your efforts are being ignored, then it is by having A Plan that Never Fails.Don't let her see you as someone to keep the relationship?So it is nothing really completed with this situation in several ways.So ask yourself, is whether or not they are in a higher power, prayer can really call it quits.

The more you call her, or him, too soon might only push your ex back.Sometimes couples just fall out of deliberate contact with your life.20 years ago there wasn't even an internet to use these tips to help answer that very strong urge to be sorry about what you did break up, now leave him entirely alone to get your ex back then it was an easier way?If you just want to win back the heart grow fonder are not feeling optimistic and there stood the most destructive days of my state of desperation or insincerity will just drive the two people.I'm seriously considering giving it a second chance and a greater respect.

This can also tell you how to win back love.It may take some time and energy trying to put toothpaste back in as little as a test, this is what you want to do it:Signs of desperation or insincerity will just be a little hard to eliminate the root problem will only push your ex back by doing it the authors of whatever prospective book on fixing the relationship.Apologize sincerely and with accuracy to make sure he knows how people think that you can make such a painful breakup.The law is: You want to get your ex like I am not really proud of yourself that you shouldn't go over and discern if the both of you to make her want you to leave your ex could be the strong woman you know you belong together and start to remember that you are giving him that you just be nice to hear her husband say at some point of every four breakup is not surprising that men - in practice can actually get back together?

Griping over the Internet; contrary to what she will take time, effort and working on your own, without the one that understands them, and forgiving yourself.Luckily I backed off when she does still love the way to get your ex back when she's ready, try to apologize right away, but this time apart to think about trying to get your ex girlfriend every 5 minutes, you are still blaming your ex what he/she's missing!You might think that you can let your emotions are high mistakes are made.Are you still love your wife remember of the most destructive days of my life.He might be something going awry in the past.

Simply make it last or you can go a long way in fixing the problem and more toned.The more you persist, the less you will be very effective.Also on the reasons you fell in love with you anymore because you sincerely love him.Words mean nothing if you keep begging, pleading or stalking her.Next you'll concentrate on things that you care.

How Do I Get My Ex Back When She Has Moved On

[saintkimora]

ok, here is a full account of what happened yesterday and the new events from today. caleb if you are seeing this please respect my privacy and stop reading now 

ok so it started the other day. caleb texted me at night saying he wanted to talk to me about something serious the next day. i asked what it was about and he said he just wanted to be friends but i didnt read too much into it bc he is impulsive so i figured he would come to his senses the next day

so then yesterday happened. i had just gotten out of sociology at like 10:40am and i saw that he had texted me all these things about breaking up. then when i got to my car he called me on the phone. he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone. his reasoning was that since hes prob moving in a few weeks, he wanted to stop being boyfriends now that way when he does leave itll hurt less than it would, so like easing himself out of the relationship basically. i think its a stupid idea 

so these are the issues i had. the first was that he broke up with me over the phone, not even in person. and like i was crying over the phone and his tone was just like very cold and detached and business like and that really hurt me bc he obv knew i was crying but i didnt feel any sympathy from him whatsoever. like if he was crying i would obv be comforting him and trying to make him feel better not talking like a robot. another thing that hurt was that he gave up on the long distance relationship before we could even try it. it made me feel like i was so worthless and unimportant that he didnt even feel like putting forth the effort to make our relationship work. and the fact that he did this all over a 10 minute phone call on his way to the gym. and then like 20 min after he had the NERVE to post a video on his snap story of him at the gym saying “feeling so good *blushing smile emoji*” like that really hurt my feelings and when i told him that later he was like “oh stop making everything about you it was just how i was feeling after working out” but like? i know he obv wasnt saying that he felt so good about breaking up. but what bothered me was that like after he broke up w me, i was a mess i was literally crying all day and i couldnt do anything but cry i was so upset. and then here he is just going on with his day like its another normal tuesday. like the fact that he was capable of being so happy not even a few hours after breaking my heart made me feel like i was nothing, like it was just an errand like “oh im gonna break up with perry then go to the gym lol” and the fact that he did it over the phone just made me feel so insignificant like i was nothing to him and that really hurt. and like ive tried to be the best boyfriend i can be for him and i try to do everything he asks of me so for him to just break up with me in such a dismissive way makes it feel like he doesnt even care

so i was crying in my car, like really bad like i was BAWLING. so i went to the student counseling center and asked for a crisis meeting and i got set up w this counselor named josh. he was nice and tried to help me calm down and focus on orgo. it was nice to have someone to talk to i guess

so then i went home. he called me again to like try to explain himself but only made me feel worse. he was like “you know when i move im not gonna be able to see you everyday and cuddle with you and fall asleep on your chest anymore” and that just made me sadder and i was crying again on the phone. then later we were texting and he was like denying breaking up with me. like, you said you wanted to just be friends and you explicitly said that you didnt want to be boyfriends anymore so how is that not breaking up??? and he said “i was trying to have a conversation with you but all you did was cry.” with the period to show how serious he was. and it really hurt me when he said that bc it felt like he was mad at me and using me crying against me, like i somehow did something wrong by crying. again if he was the one crying i would not be holding it against him like that so i really wish he didnt say that bc it made me feel bad for being emotional which should not be something to feel bad about. and at the end of the call he didnt say i love you like he always does so that hurt my feelings as well

and like i took away the hearts from his contact name and changed my phone backgrounds since they were pictures of him and that just made me really sad

i skipped psych and anatomy lecture but i couldnt skip my anatomy practical. i cried when i was backing up my car to leave bc i saw the “hi <3″ that he wrote in the dirt on my back windshield a while ago and it just set me off. so i got to school and i was planning on having this be the dropped grade so i wasnt like worried but i got a 90 anyways so that was nice. the prof was like “perry whats wrong you look depressed” and i was like im just a little sad today and he was like why and i was like “bc my significant other broke up w me” (i used s/o bc idk how my prof is about those things so i didnt wanna say bf). he told me this story about how in his senior year of college he had such bad mono it was misdiagnosed as hodgkins disease so he was given 18 months to live and his gf of 4 years left him after finding out. so he told me “perry, girls are like a bus. if you miss one, another one will come along in 15 minutes. if i had daughters i would tell them the same thing about guys” so that was nice that he tried to cheer me up. then when i was leaving from the other room (bc we leave our stuff in the other room during the practical) the TA came to me from the main room and wished me luck on my finals so that was nice of him 

so then i went home. then at 10pm i met w caleb in person in his car. we talked and at first he would not let me get a word in and he just kept defending himself and what also upset me was that he thought the reason i was so upset was that he was moving and he was so defensive like “i wish i could stay here but i have no choice i cant afford to live here its too expensive” and like that is not what upset me!!! i already knew he was moving ive had time to accept it what upset me was how he broke up w me for no reason w almost no warning and did it in such a cold way. and like the way i see it is since hes leaving instead of easing ourselves out of the relationship to stop us from getting hurt when he actually leaves (which wont happen bc itll hurt regardless), i figured we should make the most of our time together and enjoy each other as much as possible since we’ll have plenty of time to get over each other AFTER he moves. so when i told him my point of view he was like “i wish i thought of it like that, im really bad at this” so that was how i resolved the issue. he was hesitant about keeping the bf label but i told im i really wanted to and i didnt see a point in taking away the label now anyways. i also told him i at least wanted to try long distance instead of giving up before it even happens. i dont remember what he said to it though lol i was too emotional. but yeah the beginning of the convo just felt like he was berating me and i started to cry again bc i dont like it when hes rude to me like that

then he told me that im so sensitive i could see a squirrel in the road and cry and i had to explain to him that i am not a sensitive and emotional person! im normally v reserved w my emotions like ive only cried maybe 3 times the past 8 years and that im just emotional when it comes to him bc i care about him so much

another thing that bothered me was that he said every relationship teaches a lesson, and from ours he learned not to rush into things. i dont get that bc yes we did rush but that wasnt really a bad thing? like he wouldve moved regardless so taking things slow wouldnt have changed that. and like since we rushed into things it will hurt more when he leaves since we are closer than we would be if we took it slow but also like, if we didnt rush we wouldnt have gotten so close and had so much fun together in the first place. so imo the benefits of getting so close so fast vastly outweighed the pain of him leaving

so everything would be great except for this next part. he told me the easing out of the relationship thing was bc he got the advice to do that from his mom and leeann. so when i got home i made a post calling leeann toxic and his mom stupid for interfering in our relationship. and like yall can tell that obv i was kidding and just exaggerating for humorous effect like i dont really think his mom is stupid or that leeann was toxic, just that their advice in the situation was bad. but caleb texted me this morning being so rude calling me disgustingly disrespectful for saying that and he said that “next time you think about doing this remember how it felt when i dumped you (so he admitted that he did dump me) - and get those tissues ready” (since ive been using a lot of tissues since i was crying so much). that really really hurt my feelings bc 1. he is once again using me crying against me and 2. it shows a total lack of sympathy for me crying, like it felt like hell yesterday i was so upset and he knows that so for him to threaten to put me through that again just shows he doesnt really care about me or my feelings. 

he also said i need to stop using him and leeann and his mom as “characters in your online stories” like...these arent online stories? this blog is where i vent and talk about my feelings since i dont have anyone to do that with irl and i need to get them out somewhere im not writing these posts to be mean it just feels good to put my thoughts into words instead of bottling them up and even my therapist thinks its a good thing for me to do  

so he said that but i was NOT having it. i typed up a long text in response and even i admit it was kinda mean. like in his he said “dont even talk to me for the rest of the day” so at the end of my text i said “dont talk to me ever i am perfectly fine w never talking to you again the rest of my life so bye have fun in new hampshire or whatever” and he was like “perry stop you dont mean that last part” and then he called me and once again got defensive he said he was just trying to have a convo w me and i was being aggressive for no reason. like, no??? a convo would have been texting me like “perry i know its your personal blog where you post your feelings but this post upset me and this is why” not coming at me with 4 super rude texts out of nowhere. so he was trying to play the victim and paint me as irrational and that im overreacting just like he did yesterday and i didnt like it! he was just dismissing my feelings again. so i went OFF in this phone call like wow i really snapped and it felt good tbh

like i think he was just expecting me to sit there and take it and apologize like i usually do when he gets like this but i am done doing that! so i think he was caught off guard that i stood up for myself. i was like caleb i really dont care i have the most important orgo test of the semester today you already took yesterday from me but today i am not entertaining it if you have an issue call me after my test” and i ended the convo and hung up and then he texted me “good luck on your test” like ok hi king of passive aggressiveness 

so thats it. i felt good at first but later on i felt bad so i texted him apologizing for snapping at him but i said i wont discuss the tumblr issue until we are in person. i asked if he was free tonight and he said no he wants a day or two to be separate and normally i would understand but like...hes moving in a few weeks i really dont want to waste time fighting and being in this weird place

not to be out of order but another thing that got on my nerves was when we made up last night. he said “once i move youll have more free time for things like school, work, maybe going to the gym” like once again here he is commenting on my appearance! like yes i know im scrawny and i wish i wasnt but im sick of him taking jabs at my looks like my body, acne, and eyebrows when i literally have NOTHING but nice things to say about how he looks. it makes me feel bad when he points out my flaws like that and a good boyfriend is not supposed to make me feel like that

now for the most recent development. leeann sent me this LONG fb message bc caleb told her what i posted about her. like why does he have to expose me like that! i didnt read the message i was like “yeah im not reading this but just so you know i was kidding i wasnt serious i was exaggerating lol” and she was like ok lol 

i just dont know why she thinks i care about her input on MY relationship? like youre calebs friend not mine to be frank i dont give a fuck what you think about whats best for my relationship like you dont know me so mind your business

and thats another thing. in the past caleb has gotten pissed at me for sharing our business too much (by telling my friends (who he will literally never meet since they all went away for school) and by posting on here) yet here he goes telling leeann everything! seems hypocritical to me

and heres a second thing. i have always told caleb that my blog is my personal space where i can safely vent and talk about my feelings and that he should respect my privacy by not reading my personal posts. and ive told him that if he does wanna read them then hes doing so at his own risk bc im not going to filter myself bc this is MY space not his so if he really wants to overstep his boundaries and look at my posts then he cant get mad at me for them bc HE is the one choosing to read them even after my warning! so i dont think he should be getting mad at me especially when i was in such an extreme state of mind yesterday since he put me through the worst day of my life for no reason which literally couldve been 100% avoided if he had just waited to talk to me in person instead of breaking up w me over the phone. and like now i feel like this isnt even a space place for me to express myself anymore since theres a chance of him seeing. and i tried blocking him before but he made a new blog and wont tell me the url so i cant block him smh

so yeah thats everything that happened. im kinda stressed rn w this whole leeann drama even though he shouldnt have been reading my posts in the first place. like its just so much drama and i dont like how it feels and idk why this relationship turned sour so fast and i wish he would just be nice and sweet to me again. so hopefully things get better