#figured now on the uni study break why not?

[wodenscild]

I think I have had enough Indo-European languages for now. A language nerd can only take so much suppletive morphology before they go mad ToT Nawatl won’t hurt me like that <33

[algae-tm]

PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS

Max Verstappen x anthropologist! Reader

Author’s note : this smau has a special place in my heart, if you haven’t noticed I’m not Caucasian, but was born and raised in Nigeria and a lot of my university life has been centred around studies of the black diaspora. My masters research is on homosexuality and Afro-syncretic religions, so have been trying to figure out how to incorporate it so thought I’d go full send and thus this was borne.

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peopleplacesthings just posted

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peopleplacesthings: I spent three years (give or take) with the people of the Bahia state in Brasil, researching the afro-syncretic religion of Candomblé. My research paper on the gender roles within Candomblé (how men express masculinity, and the role of women as spiritual leaders) will be published online where everyone will be able to access it. Can’t wait to see where the world takes me next!! 🌎🇧🇷

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yourbsfuser: y/n baby I love you and your big brain, but please take a sabbatical 😭. stay in the UK for a while.

— peopleplacesthings: what’s in it for me? 🤨

— yourbsfuser: seeing your family and friends???

— peopleplacesthings: sorry gotta blast, the world is waiting 🏃🏿‍♀️

user10: your masters research on the linguistic appropriation of AAVE was vital for me completing my dissertation! Thank you so much

— peopleplacesthings: passing down knowledge is the key to preserving culture! I love when I get comments like this, well done my love.

lewishamilton: so you’re free now?

— peopleplacesthings: until my next adventure

— lewishamilton: good to know

— user10: not SIR LEWIS HAMILTON in my old TA’s comment section

— user7: IK 😭 she was a guest lecturer at my uni like one month ago! Really my two worlds colliding 😭😭

— user8: how do they know eachother???

— user9: I’m guessing they must have met one of the times Lewis was in Brazil??

— peopleplacesthings: he is my cousin! he’s much older and way less attractive than me so that’s probs why you couldn’t see the family resemblance🙂🙂

yoursisteruser: 2 back to back research papers… you could use a break from work

— peopleplacesthings: it’s not work if you love what you do 🤗🤗

— user17: 2 research papers??? How old is she?

— user19: she’s actually done 3! One for her masters which was only 15,000 words and then 2 more, her 2nd was for her PhD and she’s published her last two as books. She’s 28 if I’m not mistaken. I’m not a stalker just obsessed with her work!

— user17: oh so she’s SMART smart

— user19: bro she’s DOCTORATE OF ANTHROPOLOGY smart

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peopleplacesthings just posted

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peopleplacesthings: I can check getting papped reading in the park off my bucket list… maybe I should start a book club! Anyways everything is a learning opportunity so I am currently reading Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga. Don’t be so surprised that I read fiction! Nervous Conditions is a valuable case study in cultural anthropology due to its rich exploration of themes related to post-colonial identity, gender, and cultural conflict. If you take my post-colonial anthropology module in September, this will definitely be on the further reading list. Come read with me! 📚 📚

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user1: are we sure this is the woman max is dating…

— user3: I was just wondering that, so out of left field 😭 😭

— user4: I mean what do they even have to talk about? She just lectures him all day?

lewishamilton: how can I take your class if I’m not enrolled in the university?? 🤨🤨

— peopleplacesthings: you can’t! Hope this helps

— user5: jeez she’s so rude…

— user9: who does she think she is????

— peopleplacesthings: Dr. Y/n Y/ln that’s who I know I am

user11: so is anthropology all she talks about, or does she have hobbies…

— peopleplacesthings: I happen to think my field of anthropology; the study of societies, people and culture, is quite interesting. But no I am a person I contain multitudes anthropology is not all I talk about.

user6: not y’all invalidating a woman with a literal doctorate just because she MIGHT be dating your fav… pls touch grass

— user13: that’s what I’m saying! If anything she’s WAY out of Max’s league, hasn’t he only ever read like 2 books?? (liked by danielricciardo)

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peopleplacesthings just posted

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peopleplacesthings: We DTR’ed!!

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lewishamilton: DTR?

— peopleplacesthings: Define the Relationship apparently

— lewishamilton: my how the tables have turned, miss I don’t date drivers.

— peopleplacesthings: DR* I don’t date drivers. And what can I say my commitment issues are no match for Max Verstappen

danielricciardo: you’re welcome!

— user4: what could you possible have done

— danielricciardo: I told max to grow some balls that’s what! I’m the architect of this relationship

— peopleplacesthings: you and Lewis can fight over that title

maxverstappen1: WE DTR’ED!!!!

— peopleplacesthings: hell yeah we did!

maxverstappen1: I love you schat ❤️💙

— peopleplacesthings: 🥹 I love you too

you doofus

maxverstappen1 just posted

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maxverstappen1: Did it hurt when you fell from your culture’s dogmatic view of an afterlife?

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peopleplacesthings: I think that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me

— maxverstappen1: there’s more where that came from

— peopleplacesthings: oh shucks not in public maxie

— danielricciardo: this is the weirdest foreplay I’ve ever witnessed

user14: how did a man that drives in circles manage to bag my anthro professor??

— user16: shouldn’t that be the other way round???

— user14: if you ever attended one of her lectures and saw her in action you would know the answer to that question is absolutely not (liked by maxverstappen1)

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[hellodropbear]

it's time.

mapi leon x child

new story is here!

as always, hope you enjoy this (new) story and please let me know what you think!

for some reason i only ever get inspiration during uni semester! which is great because i study a really demanding degree and i just had 6 weeks off in which i wrote nothing and now i am procrastinating my physiology modules and prehab exercises :) :)

enjoy :)

~~~~~~

There was a knock on the door.

"Mapi!" Alexia's voice was distinct, and the girl recognised it immediately. She knocked again. "Open the door!"

She looked over at the figure on the sofa, eyes closed, hand resting on the head of the little black cat.

She looked over at the door, where she knew her Ale was standing, waiting for the door to open.

She toddled over to the door, almost losing her balance as she stepped up onto the step by the door and unlocking the door, her hands immediately clinging onto the step's handle to stabilise her small body.

The door opened slowly, and the brunette looked confused for a moment before looking down at the unstable toddler.

"Isabel, mi chica!" Alexia's arms were strong and easily scooped the toddler up and onto her hip. "What are you doing at the door?"

"Hola, Ale!" She planted a sloppy kiss on the woman's cheek, wrapping her arms around her neck.

"Where is Mami?"

"Sleeping! Bagheera." She pointed over to where her mother was splayed across the sofa cushions, the black cat also snoozing away under Mapi's hand. 

"Are you supposed to be napping, Isa?" Alexia's hand moved to the toddler's curly hair, stroking it back and out of her face.

"Not sleepy." She yawned into Alexia's neck, and the brunette woman chuckled.

"Not sleepy?" She moved to sit beside where Mapi was napping, beginning to repeatedly poke her leg.

"Is, stop, Mami is sleeping." The blonde murmured groggily, shifting as she stirred from her sleep. 

Alexia chuckled, her hand retreating back into her lap. 

"Time to wake up, Mapi."

The blonde's eyes opened slowly, her hand coming up to her face as she slowly figured out that it was Alexia sitting beside her. 

"Ale? What are you doing here?"

The older Spaniard shook her head, looking back at the toddler in her arms. 

"Your Mami is so silly sometimes, Isabel! So silly!" She tickled her sides, and the baby squealed in laughter, falling back onto Alexia. "You have to come in today, Jonatan asked me to check in on you because he didn't believe your excuse. We have media, and even if you don't want to be in it, you have to come and meet the new signings. It's time, Mapi."

Mapi groaned, pulling the pillow over the face. 

"Why didn't he believe me? I am clearly sick!" She put her elbow in front of her mouth and coughed into it weakly, looking up at Alexia persuasively. Safe to say she was disappointed by her friend's exasperated eye roll and lack of sympathy.

"You're coming, Mapi. Go get ready and I'll fix up Is to take her too because I presume you haven't organised her Nanny to come?" Mapi shook her head, sighing lightly. "I'll get her ready."

"Ale, please. I really, really don't want to go. Surely it's not time yet?" 

Alexia thought Mapi was going to break down on the spot right then and there, but as quickly as her facial expressions fell, they lifted back up again when the brunette placed her arm around her shoulder. 

"It is, Mapi. You've spent too much time here, you need to get back into it. This one's 14 months now and you've done such a good job." She squeezed Isabel's sides, smiling down at her tiny frame. "But now you have to go back to your other job."

"I've done my training, I've gone to the gym. I just don't think I can start again, Alexia."

"So you want to quit?"

Mapi looked at her in shock, gasping quietly. 

"What? No! I don't want to quit! I love football."

Alexia smiled softly. 

"When better to go back for the first time on a media day, no pressure to perform, nothing. I know you've been training, that you are healthy and have a good level of fitness. What's stopping you from returning to the team environment?"

She sighed, staring straight ahead as her eyes filled with tears, willing them to go away. Adamant that she wouldn't let a single tear fall from her eyes. 

"I'll come. But Ale, this won't be easy for me, you know that. If I want to leave, I want to be able to."

Alexia nodded, standing up from her spot on the couch. 

"Of course, Mapi. I've told you before and I will tell you again, everything you do is at your own pace. Just give it a try, for me. Don't give up before we even get there. Maybe seeing everyone will give you that bit of motivation, you can't tell me it didn't help last time."

Mapi nodded, Alexia was right. 

It's been two months since Mapi saw the rest of the team, right after Isabel's first birthday. It had been a long year of taking care of a tiny baby while also mourning the loss of her best friend. 

The girls loved the baby, finally seeing the girl that they had sent countless gifts to, doting over the adorable one year old who had no idea what heartbreak her mother was going through. 

But what had surprised Mapi was that most of her teammates were more worried about the defender than her child, hugging her tightly and telling her how much they missed her, loved her and were there for her. 

Mapi had cried that night, the realisation that maybe people did care settling on her shoulders, guilt overwhelming her as she registered that she hadn't reached out to a single on of them in a year. 

When she discussed this with Alexia a week later, the brunette had told her to stop being silly. They were a family, apparently. They would always be there for one another. 

~~~~~~

Nerves settled deep in Mapi's stomach as she sat in the back of Alexia's car, staring out at the familiar roads as they drove to the training grounds. Isabel was content in her seat beside her as she babbling away at the streets, Alexia chuckling at her goddaughter. 

When they arrived, Mapi was quick to unclip the baby, walking around to the opposite door to scoop her up into her arms and holding her close as they walked towards the entrance. 

"They said we only have to be there for a couple hours, max. There's a bit of media, they thought it could be a good time to reintroduce you, assuming you want to come back this season. Then we have three new incomings, although one is Irene, who most of us obviously know. The other two are from Scandinavia. Fridolina Rolfo from Sweden and Ingrid Engen from Norway. Fridolina is an attacking midfielder and Ingrid is a central defensive midfielder, both from Wolfsburg..."

Alexia dove deep into an analysis of the two Wolfsburg players that Mapi easily zoned out of, instead focusing on what she was about to do. 

It was weird, walking back into this place after such a long time. A place that used to be like home, she never thought twice about stepping through those doors.

But she could count on her hands the amount of times she had walked into the training campus in the past 18 months, simply preferring to get trained at a private gym or a private field, closer to home and further from the overwhelmingly familiar Barcelona grounds. 

She was expecting to be heckled as soon as they entered, but only Jonatan was in the foyer and he quickly embraced her and pulled her into his office as Alexia turned left to the media room. 

"She is adorable, Mapi."

Jonatan sat down on the sofa in his office, motioning for Mapi to follow him. Mapi smiled down at her baby who was happily fiddling with her toy lion. 

"Thank you."

"Is this it? Are you ready to come back?"

Mapi shrugged lightly. 

"I want to be, but I'm not sure, really. It has been a hard year and I don't know what to do with this one if I train every day, playing games every weekend. She is still only little."

Jonatan nods, hesitating before responding. 

"Everything we do will be at your pace and you have all the support you need. We can find someone to watch her, she can come here or go to your place. We can do anything, you name it. We have all missed you a lot, and I think I speak for the whole team when I say we would be thrilled if you decided to start coming back, becoming fit again."

"I am fit. I have trained a lot, every day. I have rehabbed with the specialists, done their exercises every day, I've been in the gym every day, getting stronger, I go down to the local pitch at least four times a week with the trainer. My fitness is not the problem, it's just me. My brain, I think."

He nods again, understanding written all over his face. 

"We have a psychologist if you want to see her. Apparently she is brilliant."

Mapi shrugs.

"I don't think she would be able to help me. I am just sad. Overwhelmed, maybe. A bit scared, sure. I have no trouble naming my emotions, I just am bad at dealing with them healthily."

It was the truth. Mapi knew what she was feeling but she had no idea how to make it better. Seeing a psychologist wouldn't take away her grief, her fear or her stress, so what was the point?

"I would recommend the psychologist, even if it's just for one session. Everyone who sees her loves her."

She shrugs again. 

"I'll consider it."

They dive into the logistics of returning, as well as how they should tackle the inevitable media storm when she appears on the clubs social media again. Apparently, Alexia suggested just to put them in an interview together to preview the upcoming season. She told the club to not make any sort of deal about the return, in an attempt to make it as seamless as possible. 

Their meeting finished with an agreement, and Jonatan wished the defender luck as she left, heading towards the media room where the rest of the team should be busy. 

"Isabel!" Leila was the first person to notice the duo entering, dropping the paper she held and rushing over to hug Mapi. 

"Y mi Maria. Ale said not to make a big deal out of it, but Mapi, I am so so so happy to see you here again."

She released Mapi from the hug, keeping her hands firmly on the defender's shoulders. 

"I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too."

Mapi just smiled, setting Isabel down on the floor and watching carefully as she waddled over towards Alexia. She avoided eye contact to prevent herself from becoming emotional, instead flashing a quick smile at Leila, nodding softly. 

"Thanks Leila. It's good to see you, sorry I haven't been the greatest friend recently." Her eyes remained glued to the back of her daughter's head, so she didn't see Leila's entire face and body soften.

"No, no. I should have tried harder. I can't imagine what you were going through."

Truthfully, the fullback and a lot of other teammates carried a substantial guilt over their shoulders, but there was nothing they could do about it anymore.

Not after Alexia had arrived to training raging 9 months ago, telling them they were awful friends, that Mapi was struggling and had received almost no support from any of them.

Just because Mapi asked to be left alone, doesn't mean she actually wanted to be left alone, Alexia had said.

They put in more effort after that, but the damage was done and Mapi still struggled to let anyone but Alexia in.

Isabel, on the other hand, was having a ball as her godmother carried her around the room, introducing her to different people. 

"This is Patri and Pina, Isa, say hello!" 

Isabel giggled, pointing at Patri.

"Patri!" Her hand moved to Pina. "Pina! Hola!" She waved, her hand floppy and a silly smile smacked on her face.

The three footballers smiled at her sincerity, Patri speaking up first. 

"I know who you are! You are adorable, baby Leon, and you look just like your Mami."

Isabel beamed, turning to look up at Alexia. 

"Mi Mami!" 

"Yes, you look just like her, lion cub."

They remained stationed at Patri and Pina for a while, the young striker and her older friend entertaining the baby as she sat mesmerised by their rowdy and outgoing nature, their light banter was something she had rarely been exposed to. 

Mapi on the other hand was shaking as she watched her daughter in Alexia's arms, entirely unable to concentrate on her. Her mind was consumed by the looming thought of her return. The overwhelmingly terrifying return.

She was returned to her mother's arms right before Alexia and Mapi had to go and do media, a soft kiss placed on her head before she was handed off to an excited Leila. 

 The interview, while a good way to ease into it, would undoubtedly create an entire storm in the media and Mapi wasn't sure she wanted to see her life and decisions picked apart, analysed and judged by thousands of people who knew nothing about her and nothing about anything she had been through over the past 15 months. 

Alexia's arm on her back was grounding, guiding her to the correct room and easing the overwhelming worry that surged through her, if only just a little bit. 

"It will be over before you know it. And then you wait a few days, turn off your phone when it is released. You can slowly start coming back to training, and by the time we have to interact with fans, it will have calmed down. I will be right there through it all and so will everyone else in that room."

Mapi was surprised, however, when she sat down in front of the cameras and was briefed about the interview. She was expecting a serious video, previewing the season ahead. Instead, they were doing superlatives, something that Mapi didn't know if she was comfortable with. 

Sure, she's played with this team for years and she knows them all well, but it has been a long time since she's actually played with them. What if things have changed? What if she embarrasses herself. 

"And Mapi, we will release this video in a few days, and hopefully people will take the hint that we aren't making a big deal about your return."

A naive statement that made Mapi want to scoff, but she stopped herself and nodded politely instead. 

But, she did the interview with Alexia, acting as if nothing was wrong and the midfielder couldn't believe that the person beside her was the same person that had practically looked green not 10 minutes ago. 

"Hola! I am Mapi Leon and this is Alexia Putellas! Welcome to superlatives!"

~~~~~~

Completely oblivious to the stress her mother was going through, Isabel was placed in Mapi's cubby as the team got ready for training, completely occupied by the toy lion she was playing with. 

"And who's that, Isabel?"

Leila sat down beside the toddler as soon as she was changed, her socks and boots in her hand as she looked at Isabel. 

"Leon! My lion." 

The defender chuckled, placing her hand on Isabel's head. 

"And you like to play with your lion?"

She nodded, holding the toy out towards Leila, who grabbed it, imitating a lion sound to the child. Isabel squealed with laughter, copying the fullback by imitating a lion herself before pulling the toy back into her arms when Leila passed it over. 

"Leon. Mi Leon." She cuddled the lion tightly before walking it across her leg and down to the floor."

Leila turns her attention away from the toddler to put her shoes and socks on and Isabel took the opportunity to slip down from the cubby, waddling through the changing room with Leila's watchful eye on her. 

She spun around to look at the defender, quickly noticing her raised eyebrows and her playful stern expression. She brought her hand up to her mouth, looking directly at Leila as she giggled mischievously, too distracted to look at where she was going until she bumped right into a pair of legs. 

She spun around immediately, looking up and down at the unfamiliar woman and gave her a smile after assessing that she looked nice enough, brandishing out the lion toy that she was holding. 

The brunette knelt down to her level, smiling softly. 

"Hola!"

Isabel smiled, bringing the toy back towards her. 

"Hola!" She giggled, smiling giddily at the tall woman. 

"What's your name?"

"Isabel!" She shook her lion "Leon, mi leon." She reached out her arms and the Norwegian understood it as a prompt to pick her up, so she scooped the child up into her arms, standing up and walking back towards Leila. 

"My name is Ingrid. It's very nice to meet you!"

Isabel nodded sweetly, pointing over at Leila. 

"Is Leila!" She then pointed over to Patri, then Pina. "Y Patri, y pina. Jenni!"

Ingrid laughed quietly as the child in her arms pointed around the room naming people, but moved over to where Leila was sat, handing over the child. 

"Hola. You are Ingrid?" The fullback smiled politely as Ingrid nodded. "It's good to have you here, welcome to Barca."

The Norwegian smiled. "I am very happy to be here."

The door opened as Leila was about to respond, but Isabel's head whipped around at the sound of her mother's voice, jumping up in the fullback's lap. 

"Mami!" 

Mapi strode across the changing room, picking Isabel up with one arm and bouncing her on her hip. 

"Hola, mi Is." She planted a kiss on her daughter's temple as she laughed, pointing over to Ingrid. 

"Ingrid!" 

"Who?" Mapi followed her daughter's hand, spotting the retreating Norwegian figure. Her hair was thick, Mapi noticed, rich and abundant in the way it fell easily down past her shoulders but the centre back was sure that hair so gorgeous was anything but easy to maintain. 

"Did you meet her?"

Isabel nodded, a smile still on her face. "Held me!"

"She held you?" 

Isabel nodded enthusiastically right as Ingrid turned around, immediately making eye contact with the spanish mother. Mapi was sure that if she didn't have a baby in her arms she would have gone weak at the knees and maybe fallen to the floor. 

Because the first thing she noticed were the piercing green eyes staring right back into her own, and the way they sparkled as soon as her mouth shot up into a large smile. 

Ingrid, the new signing, was possibly the most gorgeous person Mapi had ever laid her eyes on.

Mapi could only smile back as she tried her best to memorise every detail of the Norwegian's face as if she would never see it again, so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't realise that the brunette had been moving closer and closer until she was right in front of her. 

"Is she yours?"

Mapi could only nod, her voice had somehow run away. Ingrid smiled once more at the confirmation and Mapi inhaled slowly, trying to subtly inhale as much of the midfielder's scent as she could. 

"She's adorable, I mean, she looks just like you, really."

Mapi nodded again, hitting herself internally for not being able to form a coherent sentence. 

"I'm Ingrid, I've just signed. From Norway. I play for Wolfsburg." She grimaced. "I mean, I play for Norway. I have signed from Wolfsburg."

Suddenly, Mapi wishes she had paid more attention to Alexia's analysis of their new signings as hey were walking in earlier. Maybe she would have been to prepare herself. 

"I'm Mapi, it's nice to meet you." 

It was a small win, but the sentence was coherent and Mapi was happy. She adjusted Isabel on her hip in order to reach out and shake Ingrid's hand, and the Norwegian smiled and took it. 

Later, when Alexia would tease Mapi about her obvious crush, the centre back would argue that she was being professional, and use the awkward hand shake as proof. 

Ingrid and Mapi stood silently for a moment, the baby becoming increasingly more confused as silence settled upon them, just looking at each other mid hand shake. 

"Mami!" 

They were successfully broken out of the small trance, their eyes both immediately whipping towards the small child. 

"I think I better go." Mapi smiled somewhat apologetically, although she wasn't sure why she felt that small bit of guilt. "I think she missed her nap this morning which means there will be tears in just under an hour so I want to get her to sleep as soon as possible."

"You're not staying for training?" 

The Norwegian seemed confused, although she was aware that the talented centre back had missed a season and a half of football. The reason was unclear to fans and the general public, but had become abundantly clear to Ingrid almost immediately. 

Mapi sighed thoughtfully. 

"Soon. I will be back, I mean. Just not today. Hence the no training kit."

Ingrid nodded, the smile back on her face. 

"I look forward to it. It was nice to meet you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you too. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Mapi."

It was silent as Alexia and Mapi walked back out to the car. It was like a switch had flicked in Isabel as soon as they left as well, suddenly exhausted in her mother's arms. She was practically asleep when Mapi clipped her into her seat and the two adults were sure she was fast asleep by the time they were on the road. 

"So." Alexia started, a small smirk on her face. Mapi knew exactly where this was going. "Ingrid Engen, huh?"

Mapi rolled her eyes, staring out the window. 

"Ale, please. No."

The brunette shrugged, an amused look on her face as she briefly turned to look at Mapi. 

"I'm just saying. I haven't seen you like that around someone in almost two years."

"Having a child changes you."

It was true. Mapi hadn't seen anyone since she was about two months pregnant. She found it too difficult to explain, sometimes questioning her decisions herself. 

It was a tough decision, choosing to be a surrogate for her best friend, especially as it put her career to the side for an extended period of time. But Luis was a born father, as was his wife, Isabel, had too many health issues to count. The news that she would never be able to carry a baby came with devastation. The news that she couldn't even produce an egg came with heartbreak. 

It was Mapi who offered to be a surrogate for them, her heart slowly ripping apart every time she picked up the phone to a crying Luis as he wished and prayed that he could become a father, wanting it more than anything else.

Initially, they had refused, telling her that she should focus on herself, that she should focus on her career. It had taken a few months to convince them, and by the time they agreed, Mapi knew it was the right decision.

The first two trimesters were easy. She was carrying a small baby, the bump barely visible which made keeping it a secret incredibly easy. She stopped playing games in the middle of the second trimester, and stopped training at the end of it. There was little to no news about her from the club, and fans were left confused when she stopped appearing on the matchday squad list and later as she stopped appearing on their social media altogether. 

To this day, the fans were still confused, because it has almost been two years since their fierce defender was seen in any Barcelona coverage, and she was seldom mentioned in their press.

In the third trimester, Luis and Isabel went on a road trip to Madrid, visiting family.

Two hours after saying goodbye to them, Mapi got the call that there had been an accident. They had both died on the scene and Mapi was left distraught, the baby in her belly only a reminder of the couple that she loved so much, that she would have done anything for. That she did do anything for.

She gave birth a month later, alone in the delivery room as her parents and Alexia stood outside anxiously, concerned for the once boisterous footballer who had barely said three sentences since her best friend died.

"Isabel Luisa." She was decisive as they entered, her eyes red as she cradled the newborn in her arms as her own mother rushed to her side, Alexia standing at the end of the bed.

"I don't know yet whether I will give her my last name or theirs, but she is having their first names. Technically."

Pilar had burst into tears, her hand latching onto her daughters arm and it was clear to Alexia that Mapi was fighting back tears also.

"I have to be strong for her, Ale. She needs a strong Mami."

Alexia softened at her friend's whispered words, nodding quickly before replying.

"She has the strongest Mami. You will be good for her, Maria. And she will be good for you."

The whole thing was too difficult to explain to potential hookups or girlfriends when she was pregnant, and once she was born, Isabel made a great excuse to never go out when Alexia asked. 

Besides, Mapi didn't want to date. She had her hands full with the baby and her other focus was completely on becoming fit again and at some point returning to the game she loves so much. There was no time for a girlfriend on top of that. 

"I'm just saying, she felt the same way. It was obvious." Alexia shrugged, not realising that her words would send Mapi into an unhealthy spiral of guilt and concern.

When the centre back didn't respond, Alexia took it as a cue to change the topic of conversation, so she moved back to the topic of football, something that she could ramble about for hours and Mapi could block out easily. 

"Are you going back to training after this?" 

Mapi interrupted Alexia mid-sentence, clearly not listening to what she was saying at all. 

Alexia nodded. "I have to. I'll make it for the last three hours hopefully. Why?"

Mapi shrugged. 

"I think I want to start back tomorrow."

Alexia's head whipped over to Mapi, slamming on her breaks after almost whipping the car 90 degrees to the right with the sheer force that her entire body moved to face her friend.

"Tomorrow?" 

"Ale! Be careful!"

They both yelled at the same time and Isabel woke up with a start, calling out for Mapi, who sighed deeply, running her hands over her face. 

"Tomorrow, yes." She spoke quietly, her voice a whisper. "I don't know. I have to try at some point and it seems like a good time, in pre season. Do you not think so?"

"No, no. I think that is a great idea. Everyone will be thrilled. Hell, I'm over the moon!" Alexia smiled, pulling over outside the entrance to Mapi's apartment. "I'm proud of you, Mapi. I really am. You should be proud of yourself too."

She leant over the centre console, pulling Mapi into a hug and wiping away her friend's tears when she released her and saw her eyes shining. 

"Luis would be proud too. And so very grateful."

Mapi sniffed, shaking her head. 

"Thanks, Ale. I love you. Thanks for dropping me home and... thanks for everything you've done for me. For us."

"You're my best friend, Maria. No need to thank me."

Mapi smiled, stepping out of the car and closing the door behind her before stepping to the back door and unclipping Isabel from the seat. 

"Mami," Isabel whined, clinging tightly to Mapi's neck as she waved goodbye to Alexia's retreating car and moved towards the front door. 

"I think it's nap time for you, my Is."

~~~~~~

i've written a maybe 13k words of this next story already but most of what's written is rough and needs proof reading. can't promise particularly quick updates because i study full time, have two jobs and also prehab for a knee reconstruction in a couple months so i am pretty busy!

if you have any requests or want to see anything in particular let me know! what I have can be changed and modified easily to suit you guys :)

pls let me know what you think

have a great day :)

[bigcheesevik]

I think people generally overstate the difference humanities and STEM students – at least in the English speaking world. In other places, it's far less stark. For example, in Russian a sociologist and a physicist are both учонные, in German a philosopher and a chemist are both wissenschaftlern in their respective fields. (forgive my spellings)

Generally people say that STEM people have the sort of 'problem solving' mindset – you know the whole schtick of basically every quantitative/technical programme being like "hey do you like PROBLEM SOLVING? PUZZLES? WELL BOY DO WE HAVE THE JOB FOR YOU–"? And Humanities people have...people skills. Soft skills. You know, "you do english lit? you. you must really enjoy people. talking, and stuff. you have all these nice soft skills – like schmoozing, and charm, I bet, because you like people so much. how. would you like a career in HR"

And i think that's a completely misguided dichotomy, because...have you met a humanities student? Like someone who is really into their degree the same way a mathematician, a chemist, a biologist, etc. is? There is NO guarantee an interest in people gives you people skills.

I think the main dichotomy between your literature and your history students versus your hard sciences / mathematics students is that the latter 'solve problems' whereas the former 'investigate problems'.

Think about it. A historian is not necessarily interested in solving the theological disputes between the Reformed, Lutheran, and Catholic churches in the 16th and 17th centuries. The historian is actually interested in:

(1) finding out what those disputes were

(2) finding out where they came from

(3) figuring out why they were important to people

(4) seeing what people tried, and why it did / didn't work

Sociologists and anthropologists do similar things, but with questions relevant to their fields.

So okay, humanities students have an investigative mindset, whereas STEM students are generally 'problem solvers'. Now I'm going to turn around and say that those two mindsets are actually quite close to each other. You still need to solve some problems in the humanities – there's some level of 'computational thinking' (ie break things up into step by step chunks, see what tools you can use to solve your problem, or how you can come up with an alternative solution), it's just not really the emphasis. You still need to be investigative in STEM (just ask anybody in a biology-adjacent discipline what it's like to write and read academic papers), it's just not all you're doing.

My rant here is basically coming from the still-pervasive discourse I see at uni about humanities versus STEM, which I'm increasingly getting fed up with. This was mostly prompted by a talk i went to by someone who studies Religion&Science – a PhD physicist that got really into theology. I didn't really agree with him much, but he very compellingly demonstrated that basically any academic discipline past the graduate level will require rigour, evidence, and careful thinking, and will generally provide niche-but-useful-when-put-together-with-other-things discoveries.

[roodles03]

Hunter's Room (Fan Design)

It is about time I finally did this, now I can make so many drawing ideas come true with a room for Hunter designed. Also, for those who read my "Timeskip Watching and Dreaming AU" series of fanfics on A03, this is what Hunter's room looks like. This room is a room in Darius' house, so yippie Dadrius.

Alright, I know the doors can be confusing to let me break this down.

The door on the south wall with the small cuckoo clock like doors is the door to exit the room. I put cuckoo doors on the door because it's for Waffles.

The door that's on the wall that's jetting out is the door to the walk-in closet

And the the door on the west wall is the door to Hunter's private bathroom.

I originally wanted to do the entire Deamonne household at once, but, no way that would take forever. Maybe I'll do parts of it in the future but for right now, NO. If I did, I'd probably do Darius' room next and the living room after that.

This took such a long time to design, and it was my first time ever designing a background completely on my own. I needed to take off the training wheels and design my own background for once, and for my first attempt, I think I did a decent job.

The only thing that I couldn't add is a ceiling fan, but that was only because of the angles I had. I'm sure I could've if I had a different angle. Im going to have to design that separately.

This took since October 20th to finish, I probably could've got it done faster, but uni kept me busy and such. Either way, now that I've finished this, I can't wait to make drawings with this room. Yay!

Alright so: Tumblr exclusive content from here on out since insta has a stupid character limit, and their cropping system sucks

I'm gonna go on an infodump to why I decided to put almost everything here in Hunter's room.

North Wall:

Bed: I decided to make the headboard and footboard a cherry colored wood because Hunter would definitely like cherry wood because it's reddish. Referencing Willow's headboard that has a flower, I changed that into a bird for Hunter. I gave him a blue blanket in reference to Waffles. I headcannon that Hunter LOVES plushies, so I gave him some plushies I'd think he'd like. He'd definitely like squishmallows, so I gave him a blue-jay, cardinal, and wolf squishmellow. I also gave him a small wolf plush, as well as a small parrot plush and a peacock plush. The Sprig plushie is special, as it's not the same one as he had in the castle. It's a life-sized one Willow won him at a carnvial. (Reference to one of my fics).

Nightable: Nothing much to say here outside of the fact that I felt like Hunter would need one. I gave him a crystal ball because I felt like he'd like one.

Desk: This is where Hunter does work, from designing clothes to sew to studying for school. He has a log of regluar wood to practice carving on. (This room is set when Hunter is still a kid early during the WAD timeskip) He also has a punch a pencils, a desk lamp, and some books on there.

Corkboard: Hunter keeps notes for his school studies, and personal projects here. Sometimes he doodles things and puts them up there, such as the wolf and birds doodles.

Wall: Hunter would 100% be that person to have a trillion posters. I gave him a Flyer Derby poster, and a hummingbird poster. The Ruler's Reach poster is actually signed by King himself. Here's also a wolf calender, since I'd figured he'd like that, and a cuckoo clock that I headcannon Hunter and Dell carved together.

Bookshelf: On the bottom shelf, Hunter keeps a bunch of random books he likes.

On the second shelf, he has a photo of Flapjack, textbooks for his abominations and potions classes, and a photo of Willow

On the third shelf, he has textbooks for his illusions, construction, wild magic, plants, beastkeeping, and runes classes.

On the forth shelf, he has a photo of Darius, textbooks for his bard, oracle, and healing classes, and a photo of Waffles.

On the top shelf, he has his two favorite books of all time, Cosmic Frontier and Ruler's Reach, specially displayed with them propped up.

Jesus, that was by far the longest description we'll have.

East Wall:

Window: Hunter has a basic window with blue curtains. I originally wanted to make the curtains space themed for Cosmic Frontier, but then realized that would be a pain to draw over and over again, so I kept it blue. Maybe I can make Hunter's shower curtain space themed instead.

Other then that, there is nothing new on this wall that I'd like to cover. (I'd rather cover things that appear on other walls in their sections)

South Wall:

Wall: Hunter has two more posters on this wall. A Cosmic Frontier Poster. This is a reference in itself, where in Star Trek, the equivalent of O'Bailey has an asian wife that is a Bontonist, and that is sorta a parrel to Huntlow. So I decided to make a headcannon design for both O'Bailey, and the Bontonist I decided to rename to Aiko. So boom. Huntlow reference. The other poster is simply a wolf poster.

Box: This is pretty self explanatory. Its a box with sewing supplies.

Mannequin: Since Hunter sews, I'd imagine he'd like to have a mannequin to help make the clothing design process easier.

Table: This is the same sewing Machine from Thanks to Them, as Camila gave it to Hunter as a gift.

West Wall:

Outside of the door of the bathroom, there is nothing new on the west wall that I haven't already covered.

Bonus:

Here is the original blueprint for the entire Deamonne household. I could go from here and design every last aspect of the house, but that would take ages. I'd definitely like to, but its just so much work. Like I said, the next two rooms I'd design are Darius' room and the living room. Plus, Hunter's room was by definition going to he the hardest, since he has the most stuff and therefore detail in his room.

For when I wanted to focus solely on Hunter's room, I referenced the upstairs blueprint snd made a more detailed blueprint just for his room. As you can see, A LOT ended up changing from this to the final version.

[symphonic-scream]

New au

Makoto and Haru are uni roommates (and friends w/ benefits but that's not something they address) and to avoid her relatives finding her a husband, Haru lies and tells them she's gay (not a lie) and has a girlfriend she's serious with (mega lie)

So, when there's a cousin wedding during their summer break between second and third year uni, Haru has no choice but to ask Makoto, someone she claims is just a friend but she often sleeps with, to pretend to be her long term girlfriend

Both are secretly in love. Neither realize it about themself or the other at first

It's through the trip that they slowly start to piece together that maybe they were just missing the verbal confirmation. That maybe they'd been essentially together all along

Just. Double Major Sociology and Kinesiology Makoto, with the punk meets dark academia look, who could be a lady killer if she wasn't extremely bad at socializing, and, Haru's good friend and roommate

She keeps common spaces clean but her room is cluttered and looks like a mild whirlwind swept through. She wears boxers instead of women's underwear. She's part of the uni kickboxing club, and competes in Aikido on a pro level, but she says she does it as a side thing. To keep active and to keep her competitive streak down

Makoto, who has a worn leather jacket in her closet she won't wear, cause it's her dad's. She has her own, a sleek black leather, and she sat like an eager puppy as Haru taught her how to hand stitch patches to it. The first one she added was a lesbian flag, before calling her sister all proud

Makoto, who's had three girlfriends in two years, but doesn't know why she never connected to them. She doesn't let herself think about why she falls into Haru's bed and arms so easily instead

She doesn't drink, but has an energy drink addiction for studying. Doesn't consider that there might be something more going on. Doesn't sing along to her rock music, but drums along, tapping pencils as she reads, making little "tcsh" noises for cymbals

And, god, Haru thinks of all this as she lies beside a less than dressed Makoto in their shared room on the summer trip. She looks over at Makoto, who's holding her close despite both being sweaty and their skin will stick weird when they wake up-

But. She's noticed. Makoto never looks that content when she's not wrapped up with Haru

They kiss easily to fool the family. Makoto kisses at her forehead and cheeks like it's an instinct to show affection to Haru, and Haru? She loves how warm and squirmy Makoto gets at a little peck to her shoulder, or jaw. How it makes both of them feel like teens in their first relationshio

The friends with benefits to fake dating to dating au that's much sweeter than those tend to be. Cause it doesn't fall apart first

And, gosh, Haru in this

Her dad's been dead since she was 17. She's been free for years now. She's reconnected with her mom's family, and has made so many friends in uni

She's had one boyfriend, two girlfriends, and, one one night stand. She's still trying to figure out how it all works, and is convinced it has nothing to do with the increasing dreams of her roommate she occasionally sleeps with

She's cottage core if cottage core loved slasher films and black metal and axe throwing. She likes some of the pastel goth aesthetic, but doesn't consider herself in that scene. She's gone to clubs but prefers going to local shows in dive bars with her roommate, where they mosh a bit and then end up dancing on each other, more sober than they're letting on, leading to wandering hands, and mouths-

Culinary and economics major, who hates business students with a passion. She still tells people she's bi, though she's starting to believe that's untrue, as she examines her feelings for the official partners she's had

She has stolen clothes from her best friend, Ryuji, and from Makoto. She likes picking out nice underwear for herself, and giggles at how "cute" blushy Makoto is when she drags her into the store with her while she buys more sets

Anyways. Yeah.

[mymoodwriting]

11.7k, yandere, vampires, memory manipulation, drugs, disassociation, needles, kidnapping, self-inflicted wounds, restraints, knives, blood (@starillusion13)

Welcome to Happy Vampire Village

    The name was silly, but you understood why they had chosen it. When the vampires revealed themselves to the world, everything changed. They were no longer a fairy tale, but a very real being that had quietly lived alongside humans for centuries. It wouldn’t be so easy to hide in the modern world, but they also saw that humans had changed. Now all they wanted was to peacefully coexist without either side living in fear of the other. Of course that was easier said than done, so this lovely little place had been set up. A small village where vampires and humans could live together, to show that they weren’t bad.

    You couldn’t really remember why you had agreed to it, but here you were. The idea was to live with them in this village for a few months and then share your experiences with the world. Although it was just you, one human living with eleven other vampires. The first few weeks were certainly awkward on your end. The boys were all very friendly with you, too friendly, in their attempts to ease your worries. Honestly you didn’t really believe they were vampires at first until you stayed up late one night with them and saw more than you were ready to handle. It seemed they came alive once the sunset.

    Their eyes had a crimson glow, and they proudly showed you their fangs. You understood they could still eat human food, and enjoy it, but their main food source was blood. They had their own specialized food and drinks that were laced with blood, as they didn’t want to straight up drink blood in front of you. Once you got to really see them as what they really were, it really helped break the tension. They were like you, they just had a different diet, and could do things that you couldn’t. Looking at it that way, you found yourself coming to terms with the fact vampires were real, and for the next few months they’d be your next door neighbors.

“Morning, y/n!”

“Morning, Sangyeon!”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yup. My arm feels a bit sore, but otherwise I’m fine.”

“That’s good to hear. Breakfast is all set out so you can come join us.”

“Great.”

    Since the idea was for everyone to get along, you shared all your meals together. There was a big open area behind one of the houses with multiple tables put together. Everyone took turns cooking throughout the day, getting help from others as well. Although they were all way better cooks than you, which was funny considering they didn’t need human food. Still, it was a great talking point and something to make you feel more at ease around them. If you didn’t know they were vampires, you’d probably never figure it out.

“How are you guys so good at cooking? You don’t even need human food.”

“But we still enjoy it.” Juyeon explained. “Not to mention we lace it with blood, so it’s important to know how to make it right.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“You’re a pretty good cook yourself.”

“Thanks. I had to teach myself to cook if I was gonna be able to live on my own.”

“How long have you had your own place?”

“Uh, a while now. I’ve lived alone since my second year of Uni.”

“And what were you studying?” Eric asked. “Perhaps the arts so you could be a TV star?”

“I don’t think I’m made for TV.”

“You never know.”

“Eric.” Sangyeon hissed. “Behave.”

“I know, I know, I was just saying.”

“What about you guys? I know it’d be silly to ask how old you are, but what exactly did you get up to while in hiding? What did you do to pass the time?”

“Everything and anything.” Kevin began. “Study, learn to play instruments, or sports. With practically endless time you can fully invest yourself in anything of your choosing.”

“Lucky. I wish I could do as I please, but I was wondering if you had a job or something.”

“It’s difficult for us to have a job.” Jacob added. “We have to constantly hide our true selves, and it wouldn’t be easy to socialize with other humans.”

“You have a point. It sounds lonely though.”

“We had each other.”

    After breakfast you helped wash the dishes. There were plenty of group activities to participate in to pass the time. Although, since quite some time had passed, Sangyeon suggested fixing up the houses. A new coat of paint, adding some lights, a big group project for everyone to participate and show their personalities through their preferences. You were excited as you had never done something like this before. The first day of the project you all figured out how you wanted to proceed, picking out the colors and planning what to put where.

    When you actually started you decided to work on the painting. At first you painted the outside walls with Younghoon, both of you making conversation. He seemed to have experience in all this so he guided you on how to do it properly and have fun with it. Of course the harder to reach parts required a smaller tool. Once the walls had dried you got on a ladder to paint the undersides of the roof. You were humming and in your own little world, not aware that the ladder was unstable, not until you lost your footing. You yelled, expecting to hit the ground, but instead found yourself in someone’s arms.

“Hyunjae?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, thanks.”

“You should be more careful, we wouldn’t want you getting hurt.”

“But I’m okay thanks to you.”

“True.”

    No one allowed you back up on a ladder, so you stuck to the groundwork for the rest of the day. Good progress had been made so you had a campfire at night to celebrate. After roasting marshmallows you all sat around. Haknyeon handed you a glass of lemonade to cool down. The afternoons were hot, and even if the nights were cool, you could always use something more to wind down. The lemonade was always delicious, and you wished Jacob would share his secret with you. He wouldn’t but he assured you it was safe for you to drink.

“You guys live in big houses don’t you?”

“Yup.” Juyeon said. “Why do you ask?”

“You must have done a lot of redecorating over the years as new trends came to be and all that.”

“Oh yeah, it was always a hassle but fun too, just like this.”

“It’s getting late.” Sangyeon mentioned. “You should get to sleep y/n.”

“Yeah, you’re right, busy day tomorrow.”

    You smiled and wished everyone a good night, heading back to your own little house. It was easy to fall asleep as you were tired and looking forward to tomorrow. The night was peaceful and you were ready for the morning. Once again no one let you on a ladder, but there was still plenty to do. Some things were being torn down and rebuilt, so without realizing you ended up nicking the palm of your hand on something. You yelled, and then immediately started worrying. This was the first time you had hurt yourself here, and it was probably the first time they had smelled fresh blood in a while.

    You were scared, and quickly wanted to get back to your place so you could clean yourself up. As you rounded a corner though you came face to face with Chanhee, his eyes glowing red which you knew wasn’t normal during the day. His gaze was only on you for a moment before he looked over at your hand. You pulled it close to your chest, taking a few hurried steps back. You thought of running only to bump into someone else, Sunwoo. His eyes were red as well, making you all the more fearful. You wanted to say something but it was all getting caught in your throat.

“Y/n.”

    Sangyeon suddenly appeared and pulled you closer to him. He glared at the other two, baring his fangs and hissing at them. Before you knew it you were inside one of the houses, not yours, and were in the bathroom, Sangyeon having you run your hand under warm water.

“Are you okay?”

“I… yeah… I’m sorry…”

“For what?”

“My hand…”

“Are you saying you cut yourself on purpose?”

“No! But… fresh blood… Chanhee and Sunwoo…”

“I will scold them over that later.”

“Sorry…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It would have been a miracle to make it through all of this and not have you get hurt.”

“Still…”

“They’re still young, and fresh blood is always tempting. So don’t apologize for their lack of control. I smelled the blood immediately and would have stopped them.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s disinfect the wound and then wrap it up.”

    Since Sangyeon seemed to know where everything was, you figured this was his place. He sat you down while he gently treated your wound and bandaged it up.

“Stay here for a bit while the blood flow slows down. I’ll have a word with the others.”

“Okay.”

    You didn’t hear anything about your injury since then, but on occasion you’d catch some of them staring at your bandages. You didn’t say anything about it either, not wanting to get any one in trouble. Things were as they were with no real changes, but celebrating a vampire’s birthday was something very unexpected. They didn’t share their age with you, but it was a good night for celebrations anyway.

“Happy Birthday to you!”

    Everyone cheered as the candles were blown out. It was gonna be a little bit of a celebratory night. You probably would have been up for hours if Haknyeon didn’t wind up bumping into you, causing you to spill your lemonade all over yourself.

“Oh shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“Probably need to call it a night.” Changmin commented as he came over with a rag. “You shouldn’t be in these kinds of clothes for long.”

“Yeah, I guess I should go to sleep. Don’t stay up and make so much noise.”

“We won’t.”

    You said your good nights and went home to shower and get to bed. You were tired from the day so you fell asleep easily, although you wound up waking up in the middle of the night. This was a first for you, and you were so groggy. You lazily got up and went to one of the windows that showed you the front. You could see the boys moving about, and you went over to the front door. You barely took a few steps outside before someone noticed you.

“Y/n, what are you doing awake?” Kevin asked. “You should be sleeping.”

“I… um… I don’t…”

“We’ll be quiet, okay, let’s get you back to bed.”

    Kevin gently led you back inside and into bed. He tucked you in and pressed a kiss to your head. You swore you saw a bit of red, but exhaustion pulled you under and you went back to sleep with ease.

❤

    The next morning felt like any other, and you didn’t really recall your late night stroll. No one else brought it up either, so it felt more like a dream. Everything else continued on as normal, and you forgot about the incident. That is until your next strange night. You were up late with the boys, having a bit of a festival. Jacob had given you a glass of lemonade to cool down with after some dancing, but before you could take a sip Chanhee pulled you away for more dancing. Another hour or so later you finally decide to call it a night, heading to bed. You were exhausted enough to fall asleep quickly, but woke up randomly a few hours later.

    You didn’t think too much of it, simply getting up and going to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. As you drank you stared out the window, doing a double take when you saw two people floating in the air. You nearly panicked before remembering that vampires could fly, they just didn’t do that when you were around. You watched them for a while, wondering what they were doing when a knock on the glass pulled you back down. Eric was standing outside with a smile on his face. He waved at you and motioned for you to open the window for him.

“What are you doing up?”

“No idea, I was thirsty though.”

“Well you should get back to sleep, don’t want you tired in the morning.”

“I could just sleep in.”

“The others would miss you.”

“As if you aren’t nocturnal creatures.”

“But we’re all together here and it’s important to socialize. This is all about you, remember?”

“Yeah… I’ll go back to bed, don’t worry.”

“Alright. Sweet dreams.”

    The glowing red eyes were something you had gotten used to, but not the flash of red. It always made you a bit dizzy, but it was nothing harmful. You went back to sleep with ease, but come morning there was something on your mind. In all the weeks you had been there so far you hadn’t had trouble sleeping until now. Even at the beginning when you were nervous to be around them you could still fall asleep with ease and get plenty of rest. Nothing had happened as of late that should affect your sleep. If anything things had gotten better, so it made this all the more troubling. It had been on your mind all day, and of course that wasn’t gonna go unnoticed.

“What’s on your mind?” Haknyeon asked. “You seem very quiet today.”

“Oh it’s nothing, just trying to figure something out.”

“Which is? Perhaps I could help?”

“Doubtful. Just had some weird nights and was trying to figure out why.”

“Maybe you slept on your arm or something, nothing to worry about really.”

“Don’t you all sleep in coffins though?”

“Occasionally… but you won’t find those here, I promise.”

You chuckled. “Would have been cool to see.”

“Speaking of cool.” Haknyeon disappeared for a moment. “Here. A little something to cool off.”

“Lemonade is the staple of this little village, huh?”

“Our special recipe.”

“Thanks.”

    Usually you get sick of things when you have them every day, but the lemonade was always refreshing and tasty. You tried not to focus on your sleep habits and enjoy the rest of the day. You turned in early, and thankfully had a peaceful night of sleep. Everyone had their sleepless nights, if anything it would be weird if you always slept well, so you stopped worrying about those nights. Even if you had troubles, you didn’t have any responsibilities that needed you to be well rested. You could always sleep during the day like a vampire if anything.

“How about a movie night?”

“Huh?”

“We haven’t had one in a while.” Younghoon explained. “Is there a movie you want to see, we can get it all set up for tomorrow night.”

“Not a bad idea, nothing scary though.”

“Fair.”

“But… how about an old vampire movie?”

“Seriously? You want to embarrass us?”

“I want your commentary.”

“Okay. I’ll ask Sangyeon and hopefully he won’t say no.”

“I’d be very upset if he did.”

“Noted.”

    You two got some lemonade and made a toast for good luck with tomorrow’s movie night. You drank first, Younghoon watching you before taking a sip of his drink. You were excited for the next night, managing to sleep well and wake up with a lot of energy. Sangyeon had agreed to your movie suggestion although the others weren’t aware of the film until it started and they all quickly looked over at you. A shy smile was on your face, but they could see that you were going to enjoy the night. Even though you had seen the movie before, you were so immersed because it was a new experience. You didn’t touch the popcorn or lemonade, just asking questions and listening intently as you got a glimpse into the vampire world.

    It was definitely a stay up late kind of night so at some point you ended up falling asleep. When you woke up you saw that you were still outside, and were all bundled up in a blanket. You looked around but didn’t see anyone else around. You managed to get up, keeping the blanket around you. Once you got up you knocked over the lemonade and popcorn around you. It had remained completely untouched so the smallest of movements made it fall over. Now that you were up you felt a bit thirsty, seeing other lemonades around and grabbing one. You only took a few sips before realizing it had a different taste. You were getting worried when a voice suddenly caught your attention.

“Y/n? What are you doing awake?”

    You dropped the drink from the fright and Juyeon quickly picked you up in his arms. His fast movements startled you, but you were alright for the most part. You were feeling a bit dizzy though, grabbing onto Juyeon.

“Easy there, are you alright?”

“Yeah… just… dizzy…”

“You should go back to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Hm…”

    You looked up at Juyeon to see his red glowing eyes, leaning against him. You weren’t feeling so good and shut your eyes. Some sleep would do you good, and hopefully you’d feel better tomorrow. That was the idea but you certainly felt sore in the morning. When you woke up you just stayed in bed for a while. You didn’t want to get up just yet, but you were also thinking about something else. The lemonade you had last night was different than what you were used to. Maybe it was because it had been left out for a couple hours, but something said there was more to it. There was only one way to find out really.

“Jacob.”

    After getting out of bed you went out to find Jacob. He was setting up his cute little stand so you were just in time.

“Hey, good morning, did you sleep well?”

“For the most part. I’m a bit sore but I’m okay.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“So, I was wondering if I could help you with your lemonade stand. You make lemonade for us every day and I haven’t had a chance to help you yet.”

“If you want to, I don’t mind the help.”

“Awesome.”

    You helped squeeze the lemons, although Jacob was still secretive with his recipe.  Before you even knew it he had made the lemonade, and came over to hand you a glass.

“Here you go. For all your help.”

“Thanks.”

    You gave Jacob a big smile, and took a sip. It tasted just like usual, and that’s what you expected. There were more glasses on the table, and when Jacob stepped away you went over and took one. As you feared it tasted different, but before you could really think about it Jacob came over and took the glass from your hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Why does it taste different?”

“Huh?”

“The lemonade. The one you gave me and the ones on the table have a different taste.”

“I… uh… there’s blood in it…” Jacob mumbled.

“What?”

“There’s blood… in the lemonade… except yours… the one specially made for you… that’s why it tastes different…”

“Oh…”

    You started feeling a bit sick over what you had tasted, running off before Jacob could say anything. Not to mention scolding yourself over jumping to conclusions. You weren’t alone for long before Chanhee found you. He had overheard everything, not surprising actually, the others probably knew too.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine… just feeling silly…”

“We probably should have mentioned it earlier. We just wanted the lemonade to be something we all shared naturally, but of course with our diets it would still be different.”

“I know… I just had other things in my head… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

“You’d never do such a thing.”

    Even if you slept well you still felt silly over the whole lemonade incident. Although you didn’t really want to drink it anymore. The next day you played games all day, and focused on that. You were offered some lemonade multiple times but you never really drank it. You had lots of fun though, so by nightfall you were very exhausted. You would have thought you’d sleep through the night but instead you woke up. It was probably stress and the whole incident, but you tried to move past it. You got up and got a glass of water. As you looked out the window you didn’t see anyone around, so you decided to sneak out.

    You went over to the hillside, wanting to stargaze, but when you looked up there was a starless sky. It was all black, the only light coming from the lights by the houses. It was weird though, cause you could have sworn you’ve seen stars in the sky before. The last movie night you had came to mind, but maybe you were imagining things. You still stayed where you were, laying back on the grass and looking up at the sky. It was a peaceful night, and you were lost in your own head that you didn’t notice someone approaching. Not until they laid down next to you, looking over at you.

“Hello.”

“Sangyeon…”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to stargaze, but there are no stars… I could have sworn there was.”

“Maybe you’re confusing it with a movie.”

“I think so too.”

“Anyway, you shouldn’t sleep out here. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

    Sangyeon didn’t hesitate to pick you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style back to your place. You could never really get used to the red eyes, but you had to admit they looked nice. Something soothing to see before you fall asleep.

❤

    The next morning your arm felt sore, but you didn’t mind it. This time around you’d be helping out with breakfast, which was always quite a lot since it was for twelve. You were so busy that when you got thirsty you just grabbed the nearest drink and chugged it down. Then you grabbed another until you finally realized the taste. This wasn’t your lemonade, and the realization made you faint. By the time you came to you were in bed, and it seemed to be dark out. You looked over and saw Hyunjae and Changmin at your bedside. When they saw you were awake they jumped up.

“Y/n! Are you okay?”

“We were so worried about you.”

“Hm… what happened?”

“We don’t know, you just suddenly collapsed.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you guys. I was just lost in thought and ended up drinking your lemonade… when I realized I kind of freaked out…”

“Gosh, you really scared us.”

“Sorry…”

“As long as you’re okay.”

“Yeah… I should probably go back to sleep though.”

“We’ll let the others know you’re okay.” 

“Hold on a second.” Changmin went to get you a glass of water. “Here. You should have some water since you didn’t have much all day.”

“Thanks.”

    As you drank the water you noticed a strange taste similar to that of the lemonades. You didn’t say anything though and just thanked the two and went to sleep. Come morning your mind went back to the same issue about the lemonade. Something was wrong. You got out of bed and got yourself a glass of water. It tasted nothing like what you had last night, but presumably you got it from the same place. You couldn’t really go to any of them with your concerns, so just kept it to yourself. As you thought it over you looked back on the nights you had woken up, and if there was anything in common.

    You basically had lemonade every day, it was a staple in the little village, but now that you think about it, you didn’t actually drink it on the days you woke up in the middle of the night. It could just be a coincidence, but every other time you slept fine you could recall drinking the lemonade. This all sounded crazy to you, but there was a way for you to test it. That day you got your special glass of lemonade but you didn’t drink it, spilling it out onto the yard when no one was looking. As you feared you wound up waking up that night. It could be a one off, you needed to run more tests, so you decided to go back to sleep on your own.

    You were drifting off when you suddenly felt hands grab you. A loud scream ripped from your throat as you got up, seeing Sunwoo in your room. He screamed as well when you did, quickly apologizing though. That didn’t change the fact you were freaking out. There was no reason for him to be in your room, and all the yelling attracted attention. Soon enough the others had gathered as well, but you were still freaking out and yelling incoherently. Sangyeon came to your side and grabbed your shoulders, getting you to focus on him. As always those glowing eyes were mesmerizing, and he was getting you to do some breathing exercises with him so you could calm down.

“Are you okay?”

“I… I think so…”

“Good. Do you think you can explain to me what’s going on?”

“I… I don’t really know… I was trying to go back to sleep when I felt Sunwoo grab me…”

“Did he now? The boy must have been sleepy and thought this was his bed.”

“I… I guess…”

“He didn’t mean to scare you. Sunwoo apologize.”

“I’m so sorry…” Sunwoo apologized. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Okay… apology accepted…”

“There, see, nothing to worry about. Get back to bed okay.”

    Sangyeon tucked you in while the others headed out, some scolding Sunwoo under their breath. You were feeling sleepy so it was easy to just close your eyes and drift off. Although come morning, when you hadn’t woken up in a panic, and could properly put the pieces together. Something was wrong here. Last night, the incident with Sunwoo, was very strange and was making you feel uneasy. You couldn’t let anyone else know, so you did you best to act normal. You avoided the lemonade again, and just went about the day as usual. No one seems to suspect anything, and you decided to turn in early that day. You only pretend to go to sleep, waiting for the night to become quiet.

    Once you felt it was safe you snuck out. You didn’t see anyone around at all so you went out to the hillside. Truth was you didn’t trust this place anymore, you didn’t trust them. You kept low, carefully looking back to make sure you weren’t noticed. You had dressed in some sweatpants and a hoodie, hoping that would be alright. As you made your way down the hill you suddenly came to a stop. The sight before you terrified you. At the bottom of the hill, the grass just ended, the road ahead just smooth concrete leading into darkness. This didn’t make any sense, causing you to question everything you had known, but you couldn’t go back.

    You swallowed your fear and stepped onto the concrete. You gave it a moment to see if something happened, but nothing, so then it was just one foot after the other. After a bit of waking you get your phone out. There wasn’t much signal in the village, and you didn’t seem to have any here either, but at least you could use your flashlight. Before doing so you looked back, but it was mostly darkness. You turned the flashlight on and aimed it at the ground, moving slowly. You weren’t sure for how long you were walking for but eventually you came to some sort of wall. You slowly lifted up the light, seeing what appeared to be metal. You carefully reached out to touch it confirming it was real. It was a wall, which didn’t make sense, but surely there was a door somewhere.

    You picked a direction and followed it. You were scared with every step, wondering if you would find what you were looking for or not. When the structure suddenly changed you took a step back and could make out a door. You reached for the handle, feeling that this was a sliding door. You looked around in the darkness for a moment before carefully sliding it open. You didn’t know what awaited you on the other side, but it brought you to tears. Beyond the door was an empty lot, and as you stepped out you could see other buildings, but most of all you could see the sky. Stars and clouds hung above you as the tears slid down your cheeks. You looked back at the huge building you had just exited, feeling such panic rise in you. All you could do was run.

    You turned around and ran, wanting to get as far away from that place as possible. All this, being out here, those monsters had kept you locked up like some animal, playing house and acting like you were friends. For who knows how long you had been living a lie, and you had no idea how you wound up in their grasp. You just kept running, beyond the lot and finding a small town nearby. You could see cars driving on the streets, buildings, and people walking around. There was life there, although you were still too much in shock to just ask for help. You pulled up your hood and made your way over to the town, keeping your head low and looking around. Everyone seemed normal, going about their lives as if you hadn’t been held hostage nearby. Since nothing appeared out of the ordinary you thought it would be safe to find the nearest police station, but then you froze in your tracks.

“I don’t think I’m made for TV.”

    Hearing your own voice sent shivers down your spine. You looked around for the source, finding a bunch of kids gathered outside a store window. They were looking at the TVs on display in the store and you cautiously walked over to see what was playing. As you got closer you could make out the images, coming to see yourself on the screen, along with the other boys. As this scene played out you began to remember that day, mumbling the next words spoken to yourself before hearing them from the TV. This whole time your life had been filmed, and now it was on TV for everyone else’s entertainment. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. You took a step back, feeling as if reality was fading in and out. Nothing made sense.

“Are you the girl from TV?”

    One of the kids who had been watching the TV had noticed you. He approached you, and soon the others were aware of you too. They all got closer, and one of them even leaned in to smell you.

“You are! You must be the human from TV!”

    The kids eagerly crowd around you and that’s when you finally realize their eyes were red. That shock gave you the energy to run and you bolted down the street, not looking back. You weren’t paying attention though and wound up running into a couple. You stumbled to the ground and your hood fell back, revealing your face.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you- wait, are you… oh my gosh! Could I have a bite?”

    This time you were well aware of the red eyes the two individuals had. You ignored their words and quickly scrambled to your feet and ran off again. You had to get away from such a public area so you bolted into the nearest alleyway, but ended up tripping over something. When you looked back you saw a human leaning against the wall next to a trash bin. You both stared at each other and you noticed they didn’t have glowing eyes.

“Are you… are you human?”

“What? Never seen a homeless human before?”

    You didn’t think twice about rushing over to them, which greatly startled them. You didn’t mean to and quickly put your hands up.

“I… I’m sorry… I just… what is going on here… there are vampires… everywhere and… I don’t understand…”

“Where have you been living?”

    Even with the strange question, you got an answer. Vampires had revealed themselves to the world, but not in the way you had believed. They took over, seeing themselves as superior and basically turning humans into cattle. Some were even pets, and that seemed to answer the question of what you were.

“If humans got… taken away then how are you still on the streets?”

“We’ve avoided the hunters.” Another person popped out of the trash bin. “That’s the only way to stay out of those care homes and keep our freedom.”

“You two are together?”

“Yup. I’m Shane, and that’s Pete.”

“How long have you been on the streets?”

“A couple months now… maybe longer, honestly lost track of time.”

“So how… how do you survive out here? Can you help me?”

“Where are you from?” Pete asked. 

“It’s… it’s complicated…”

“It won’t be easy to feed another mouth.” Shane commented. “We barely manage on our own.”

“Please, I don’t have anywhere else to go…”

“Alright, fine.” Shane hops out of the trash bin and pulls up your hood. “Stay warm. We gotta lay low, that’s the most important.”

“Okay…”

“Come on then, we can stay out in the open like this for too long.”

    You didn’t really hesitate to follow them deeper into the alley. They led you into an abandoned building. They found a place to start a fire, safely as they explained to you, and settled around it. You helped find some cardboard and newspaper, needing something to sit on besides the cold floor.

“Here.” Pete offered you bread. “You need to eat.”

    This wasn’t what you were used to, but you were grateful. It was better than nothing. You took the bread and thanked him. As you ate and stared at the fire you couldn’t help but think back to the campfires you used to sit around. The fire itself was the same, burning bright and hot, but your circumstances had changed. You really tried not to cry but you couldn’t help the tears. Once you finished eating you laid down on the cardboard, watching the fire and slowly dozing off. Then you suddenly jumped up as you felt a pinch around your neck. You looked around in a panic thinking something had bit you, but then you realized you were completely alone.

    The other two were gone, as were the belongings they had with them. You pulled your legs up to your chest, feeling that fear of being alone, and worst of all abandoned. There was nowhere else for you to go and now you were really on your own. You noticed a small bag next to the fire and reached over to it, finding some food inside and a note. It explained that they couldn’t risk having someone else with them, but that they wished you luck. They don’t know what your situation was but they told you there wasn’t any shame in surrendering to the hunters and going to a care house.

    The problem was you didn’t want to go back with any vampires, so you were going to have to figure out how to survive on the streets all on your own. You really did need to sleep though, so you laid back down, trying to get comfortable when you heard a noise. Now you were on alert and looking around. You got up and found something to swing like a bat, carefully taking in your surroundings. When you suddenly felt a presence behind you, there was no hesitation in your swing. You were worried about hurting someone, but you weren’t expecting the person to catch your weapon, let alone be a familiar face.

“Haknyeon…”

    He ripped the weapon away from you, and then he had his hand around your throat. His grip was firm, and you soon found it difficult to breathe.

“You my dear, are in a world of trouble for the stunt you’ve pulled.”

“Let her go.” Sangyeon ordered. “It’s not your turn.”

    Just as he was told, Haknyeon let you go and you collapsed to the ground catching your breath. You were gasping in air when you were suddenly grabbed. For a moment you stared into Sangyeon’s red eyes, and then he was on your neck. You felt a pinch and yelled from the initial sting before you were suddenly overwhelmed by this euphoric feeling. The scream died down, replaced by a ragged moan and a dizzy feeling.

“There, that should keep her docile. Let’s go.”

“But what about-”

“Later, Chanhee. We should get home first.”

    Your vision was a blur, but you could vaguely make out Jacob picking you up in his arms. You had no idea where this home was, although all that came to mind was the village. You were taken out of the building and into another alleyway. Jacob was careful to put you into the back seat of a car, having you rest against Kevin’s shoulder. You could feel the car move beneath you, vaguely making out the world outside the window. At first you could see buildings but then that all turned to trees and soon enough you had arrived. This time Changmin got you out of the car and you found yourself before a very big house.

“… where…”

“Sh, we’re home now.” Changmin assured.

“You know where to take her.” Sangyeon said.

“Of course.”

    Everything felt like a dream as you were carried up the steps and through the front door. The house was just as big on the inside, like a mansion. You didn’t know much about luxury, but from what you could see, this place was fancy. You were taken into a room and laid down on some kind of medical table. Before you could really process you felt your arms and legs being strapped down.

“… wait… wait…”

“Just calm down, we’re not gonna hurt you.”

    Those words didn’t really provide comfort. Especially once you saw the needle and watched it go into your arm. You started pulling on your restraints then, only for them to take advantage of your distracted state and push a gel pill into your mouth. It dissolved on your tongue, and you froze upon recognizing the taste. You had this before in every glass of lemonade they had made for you. This was what they had been giving you for weeks.

“Sorry, but you need to take that.”

    You wanted to say something to them, even yell, but you were starting to feel drowsy. Without wanting to, your body relaxed against the table, and you began to have trouble keeping your eyes open. Soon enough you drifted off to sleep in a very unfamiliar place. You didn’t know how long you were out for, but when you regained consciousness your vision wasn’t as blurry. That’s when you noticed the blood bags, and looked down at your arm. They had been drawing blood from you this whole time, every night as far as you knew. It didn’t even make sense, it shouldn’t be possible.

“Oh, I see someone’s awake.” Eric smiled. “Hi beautiful.”

“… what… what is this…”

“Don’t worry, it’s just routine, but you don’t remember that right now.”

    Younghoon came over to your side and removed the needle, placing a soft kiss on your arm where a drop of blood bloomed. He liked his lips and smiled at you, sending shivers down your spine. Juyeon then came over and undid your restraints, pulling you into his arms. He carried you out of the room and to another one. It seemed like a bedroom, and you were placed down on the bed. He was going to leave you to rest but you grabbed onto his arm.

“… what’s going on… why did you lie to me… what… what’s real…”

“Sangyeon can answer all your questions after you eat.”

    A while after Juyeon left, Eric came in with a food cart. He had you sit back on the bed, placing a tray in front of you. As you moved to lift your arm you got a familiar sore feeling, further confirmation as to what they had been doing with you. Eric noticed you were struggling and decided to feed you himself, which you accepted. It was weird, but you were hungry, and feeling so weak from the blood loss. When you had your fill Eric tried to get you to sleep but you refused. You wanted to talk to Sangyeon before anything else.

“You should really get some sleep.”

“I feel like I’m always sleeping…”

“Touché. I’m rather busy, but I always have time for you.” Sangyeon sat down at your bedside. “So what is it you want to ask?”

“I want you to explain.”

“Explain what?”

“Everything.”

“Well, where do I even start?”

“You could start by telling me if anything of what I believe is real.”

“Good choice.”

    Sangyeon was honest with you, or at least you believed he was, there was no way for you to know otherwise. He told you that vampires had been living in hiding for hundreds of years, but decided to make their presence known as it was becoming clear to them humans couldn’t take care of themselves, or the planet. They’re not monsters so their methods were kind, and humans were now well taken care of and the planet itself was also thriving.

“So we’re your pets.”

“Not quiet. You’re more like-”

“Cattle?”

“You are really trying to make us out as monsters.”

“Isn’t blood your food source? Doesn’t that just make us cattle to you.”

“But you’re not animals. It’s true we do need your blood, but why would we be so cruel to our food source? Humans are well cared for. If you’d like I could perhaps arrange a visit to a care house and you could see for yourself.”

“This isn’t a care house, is it? So what am I?”

“You, well, you are our pet.” Sangyeon gently caressed your cheek. “Not every vampire can have one, but we can. You’re our special little girl.”

“Is that why I’m on TV?”

“Hm? Who told you that?”

“I saw it! My face on a screen with the rest of you! My life on display for entertainment!”

“Easy now, there’s no harm-”

“Why does that exist!?”

“Why else? We like to show you off, and it’s good money. Everyone has fun, and your blood.” Sangyeon took your hand and kissed your wrist. “It’s worth quite a lot. You’re famous.”

“So my whole life… it’s been a lie…”

“Not quiet. We’ve simply made it so you believed what we wanted you too. It’s very important as it makes the show, and your performance, all the more authentic.”

“You’re a monster.”

“You don’t mean that. You don’t even remember what your life is actually like.”

“Make me.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why!?”

“We still have a lot of work to do since our filming schedule has been interrupted. It’s better for you to remain this way until we wrap everything up.” Sangyeon took a breath. “You have caused quite a lot of trouble, but perhaps something good can come out of it. But first, I need to know how you realized you were on a set.”

“…”

“Answer me.”

    A moment ago you were just having a conversation, but now Sangyeon was glaring at you with glowing red eyes. It sent a chill down your spine, making you very nervous.

“It was the lemonade.”

“What?”

“It had a weird taste… and my sleep schedule was questionable… then there was the incident with Sunwoo… and the lack of stars in the sky… I knew there was something wrong…”

“Hm. Impressive. You picked up on a bunch of little things out of the ordinary and put the pieces together. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“How did you find me though… I was only gone for a few hours…”

“It was at night. We clean up at the end of the day and take you home. It wasn’t long before we realized no one had gotten you. We searched all over, and then found one of the back doors opened. We could have just tracked you by scent but with your memories things would be more troublesome, so we used the tracking chip.”

    Instinctively you reached up to your neck, remembering that jolt of pain you had back in the abandoned building.

“I’m not some animal!”

“But you’re our pet, and plenty of owners tag their pets. We wouldn’t want to lose you now would we. You’re too precious and valuable.” Sangyeon chuckled and pet your head. “Thankfully you’re not on the news or social media, so this wasn’t as big of a mess as it could have been. You should get some sleep though, you still need to recover from the blood loss.”

    You didn’t have much of a choice as Sangyeon tucked you into bed, giving you a kiss on your head before leaving you to rest. You laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what had happened to the world, and what had happened to you. Even if you didn’t want to sleep you couldn’t deny the fact you were still tired. You weren’t going to go anywhere, so you might as well use this chance to sleep and gather your strength.

❤

    When you woke up later you were feeling better, so you got out of bed. You looked around the room, opening the closet to find it filled with all kinds of luxury clothes and accessories. It was all your size too which made it more creepy. You quickly shut the door, not wanting to see any of that. You also didn’t want to stay in this room, so you carefully peeked out into the hall, seeing that it was empty. You made your way out, wandering around. The place was pretty huge, although you stopped to stare at a picture on the wall. The picture was of you and the boys, and you had a big smile on your face.

“What are you doing out of bed?”

    You jumped as Hyunjae startled you, having found some way to sneak up on you. Then again as a vampire it was probably easy for him to move around undetected, not to mention you were distracted.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve slept enough.”

“Then how about some snacks. There’s-”

“Who is she?”

“What?”

“Her.” You pointed at yourself in the picture. “Who is she? Where is she!?”

“Hm… well I guess you can say she’s sleeping…”

“Wake her up!”

“I can’t.”

“What is wrong with you? All of you? Did she agree to this, to be-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“You, or I guess her, she did agree to this.” 

“…”

“What? You think we just rearranged your memories cause we can? No, this was a group decision. Even though this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Obviously. I still can’t believe I agreed to something like this.”

“Then how about a snack to take your mind off it.”

    Before you could object Hyunjae took your hand and dragged you over to the kitchen. It was just as big as you would expect in this place. You felt like you had snuck into a restaurant kitchen. As you looked around Hyunjae rummaged through the cabinets until he found some snacks, handing them over to you, which was surprising.

“What? The snacks were for you, not me.”

“Oh… I… I thought… you were gonna… you know…”

“We can’t all feed off you, but we can draw blood.”

“That doesn’t make sense… you drew blood from me practically every night… that’s not possible.”

“It’s cause of that pill you took.”

“What?”

“It makes you sleepy but also helps replenish your blood faster. Perfectly harmless and very effective. We can draw blood more than once every two months, and no we didn’t do it every night either.”

    Hyunjae went over to the fridge and grabbed a blood, opening it up and then hopping onto the counter top. He took a big sip and let out a content sigh.

“Your blood is so sweet.”

“Is that why you chose me?”

“No. It’s just a bonus.”

“Then… why…”

“You were very cute. We went to a care house because we wanted someone here with us since it didn’t have to be just us anymore.” Hyunjae took another sip from the blood bag. “It wasn’t easy though. The amount of paperwork we had to do just to get into the building and see you all.”

“What papers?”

“The basics, like proof that we could care for a human. That we’d be able to provide a good and healthy diet, as well as clothed them, and that we had a good environment for them to live in. Along with other things depending on the human. We had specialists all over the house inspecting it to make sure we were responsible and not lying on the papers.”

“I didn’t know you had to go through all that just to have a pet human…”

“Not everyone can just have one. It’s a big responsibility, and not all vampires have good self control. It is just our nature, and all the more reason to keep your kind safe.” Hyunjae smiled at you. “With all that done we finally got a chance to look around. That’s when we found you, all quiet and alone, sitting in the corner reading a book. When we approached you seemed so uninterested in us. You weren’t scared or anything like that. You seemed to be quite happy since you had all this time for yourself to do as you pleased. We offered you a comfy home so you could have all that and more. So you asked your cute little questions. If you could read all the books you wanted, or paint out in a garden, or watch TV all day or spend a whole day sleeping. Of course the answer to all that was yes, and you know what you said?”

“What?”

“I’ll think about it. We were all so surprised, but it made us all the more interested in you. So one of us went by to see you every day until you finally decided to come home with us. Gosh, the look on your face when you say this place, you were so in love. You had so much space, and such luxurious things. If you weren’t busy with something we would always find you wandering around the halls. Tell me, does any of that sound like you?”

“… maybe… but what about the show?”

“Ah, that. Sunwoo wanted to do something in film, and you suggested a comedy.”

“Wait, it was my idea?”

“More or less. You figured it would be fun if the theme was like a human living with a bunch of vampires and the shenanigans that would come from it.”

“No way…”

“Yeah, and it’s a big hit. Happy Vampire Village. We all did it more for fun but it was a big hit. Everyone adores you.”

“So… I’m famous?”

“Yup. And since you’re around right now, Sangyeon was thinking of taking you to this gala thing that’s coming up.”

“No thanks…”

“Well it’s not entirely up to you.”

“Yo.” Kevin poked his head into the kitchen. “What are you two doing?”

“Just snacking.” Hyunjae answered. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just wondering if you wanted to hang out. I was gonna get some snacks and watch TV, you in?”

“Absolutely.”

    Kevin and Hyunjae grabbed some more snacks and then took you into this home theater room. They were channel surfing and you were vaguely paying attention until you saw yourself on screen. You asked to go back, watching yourself for a moment, remembering everything you saw since this was your life. You couldn’t do it for long though, excusing yourself cause you wanted to be alone. You wandered the halls, figuring you’d find your way back to your room eventually. Although you noticed a door open and heard some clicking noises.

    You slowly approached and poked your head into the room. There was low light and you saw Chanhee sitting in front of a monitor. As you looked closer you realized you were on the screen again, and apparently he was editing footage. You caught glimpses of this behind the scenes stuff. To a degree it was interesting, but horrifying as well. Every moment you had spent in the village was recorded. You had no privacy at all. That realization brought tears to your eyes and you ran off to hide, just wanting to be away from any lights or prying eyes.

“I’m sorry we can’t play hide and seek.”

    You had been curled up on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest and hiding your face when you heard a voice.  You didn’t even look at them, but could feel their presence as they sat down next to you.

“Cause of the chip?”

“Your heartbeat.”

“I hate this place.” You looked up to see Jacob. “It’s like a bad dream.”

“Sorry. We should have done better to make sure this never happened in the first place.” Jacob softly pet your head. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Well, I don’t want to do it.”

“Y/n-”

“How long is that show supposed to go for anyway?”

“Well, going along with your memory, I think there’s only like a month or two left. This was always a side project anyway.”

“And when it’s over? Then what?”

“We have to finish up the show first. We’ll end up erasing your memories to do that.” 

“So all this explaining is kind of pointless.” 

“Yeah, but it’s important that you feel at ease.”

“I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“I’m sorry… we didn’t mean to make things scary.”

    Jacob sat with you for a while before convincing you to go back to your room. It was probably better to be there anyway. Soon enough you were alone again just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. You thought back on what you had been told, trying to make sense of it. Truth was that the world was so scary to you because it was foreign. Nothing really seemed to be bad. Nobody tried to hurt you, or was mean to you while you were on the streets. Then again you weren’t out there for long. Even now you were living quite comfortably, so you couldn’t know for sure what the world was like.

    You wanted to know, to see for yourself, but it was kinda pointless. Apparently you were happy here, but you just don’t remember. You were nervous and scared now, but deep down you had this sense of ease, making you wonder if you should trust the boys. While lost in thought Haknyeon suddenly came into your room. He let you know that you would be attending a gala tomorrow so they needed to figure out your outfit. You didn’t have a say in the matter as he pulled you out of bed and had you stand in front of the mirror. He went through your closet picking out some dresses and seeing what looks best.

“Do I have to go?”

“Yes. Everyone wants to see you, and you don’t have to worry about anything. Just smile and be positive. You can’t talk about the show anyway since we’re not done filming.”

“So I’m just arm candy?”

“Not exactly, but I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

“Doubtful, but I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

    The next day you were up early as you had a lot to prepare for. You were given a bath first thing. It was a deep clean and very relaxing, you honestly didn’t want to get out of the tub. Breakfast was a delight, and very filling, kind of reminding you of the good times back at the village. Although there wasn’t much time for reminiscing as you had to get your hair done, and get dressed, along with makeup and accessories. You never really had a moment to catch your breath until later in the evening. 

    The boys were all dressed in suits, looking very handsome. You thought you’d ride in one of their cars, but should have realized you’d be taking a limo. Even though you didn’t want to go, you were nervous about this whole event. You weren’t a random guest, but someone many were looking forward to seeing. As you arrived at the venue it became more apparent. All the boys reassured you that you looked amazing, and to not be nervous. Just smile and be polite, and no spoilers. The boys stepped out of the limo first, and you were the last, taking Sangyeon’s hand and being met by the flashing lights of the cameras.

    It caught you off guard at first but once you adjusted you could see more of your surroundings. As far as you could tell the venue was this museum, and the red carpet led you up the stairs towards the entrance. Many were calling your name and asking you to look towards them with a smile. You weren’t sure if you were smiling, but Sangyeon wasn’t really letting you stop to pose for a photo. You did manage to wave though, and that seemed to be good enough. Although once you entered the museum the atmosphere changed.

    The other attendees were happy to see you and said hello, but they mostly seemed interested in the boys. It made sense, they were of the same species and in here you really were more of a pet than some celebrity. You shook some hands and kept a smile, also being reminded not to give spoilers. Still, after the initial greetings the boys just kept you close while they mingled with others. Some calm music filled the air, along with business chatter. You didn’t care for any of it, but you were kind of hungry. As you reached for something on the table Changmin was quick to stop you.

“That’s not for you, sweetie.”

“Huh?”

“Vampire food isn’t good for you. I should probably take you over with the others.” Changmin took your hand in his. “Come now.”

    You were confused, but you followed behind Changmin. He took you to another part of the museum. You came across some security guards, which was strange to you, and then you found yourself in this smaller area. It seemed just like the main area, but with fewer people. Before you could ask what this was you got your answer.

“These are the other humans in attendance tonight. So mingle and have fun.”

    So this was basically the pet daycare. It annoyed you, but you wanted food more than anything so you went to get some. You feared maybe you’d get some attention here, but besides the occasional glance in your direction, no one paid you much attention. You were thankful for that, these types of things weren’t your scene. So you just sat quietly at an empty table and kept to yourself. You wished you had something to distract yourself with besides food, but soon enough you had company. Another woman came over to your side and sat next to you.

“You’re pretty quiet for a celebrity.”

“I don’t really feel like one…”

“Your fame is rather complicated.”

“Tell me about it.”

“It is weird though, isn’t it, for us all to be here. All the humans gathered in one place while the vampires have their party too.”

“Well, we are their pets after all.”

“And that’s not right. Just because those creatures think they’re better than us, doesn’t mean they are.”

“I mean… they’re pretty powerful.”

“But not immortal. They can still die.”

“Huh… you’re pretty hostile for a pet…”

“Wanna know a secret.” She leaned in close. “I’m not a pet.”

“If… if you’re not a pet… then how… what-”

“You think humans have just given up? There is still a resistance out there. We shouldn’t be living like this. We were once top of the food chain, and now this? We could have been equals with vampires but they chose to take over. They’re cruel creatures who claim to care for humans but I don’t buy it.” She leaned close and tapped your neck. “You know that’s not just some tracking chip in you.”

“What?”

    As you processed her words she took your hand and led you out of the room into the hall. It was just the two of you. Before you could ask she told you not to worry about security. They don’t see you as a problem or a threat so they won’t care about you two being out here. She stopped over by some statue, getting something from a hidden compartment. You didn’t recognize the device in her hand but you took a step back.

“What… what is that…”

“It won’t hurt much.”

    You don’t know what she did but you suddenly felt a pinch on your neck, reaching over to the area of pain.

“What did you do!?”

“I disabled your chip. Besides tracking you like some dog, it also functioned as an inhibitor. Makes it very hard to have any negative emotions or complex thinking with that thing. It keeps you docile and happy, like some kind of lobotomy.”

“No… no the wouldn’t…”

“You should come with me.”

“What… why?”

“I’m not some pet, I snuck into this event to find you, to help you.”

“… wa… what does that mean?”

“The vamps always parade you around, and with all your popularity you’re basically the face of human subjugation. You’re not some show dog.” Hearing all that started to make you feel guilty. “You can get away from this all and be free.”

“I… I don’t know… they’ve messed with my memories and I’m not sure about all this…”

“Really? That’s all the more reason to get away.”

“But I agreed to it…”

“Sure you did. Not like they have the power to compel you.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come with me. You can’t really make decisions for yourself with those creatures around you.”

    You were honestly considering her proposition. When you first discovered you were living in a false reality you wanted to run away. They caught you and took you back to a world you were unfamiliar with and this was your chance to get back out there and see the truth for yourself. You weren’t sure what the right thing to do was, and as you thought it over you heard your name being called.

“Y/n!”

    You jumped at the sound of your own name, and before you knew it the girl you were with was tackled to the ground. The security guard was pinning her down when you were suddenly flipped around.

“Are you okay?”

“I… how did you find me…”

“What?” Sunwoo questioned. “After your little stunt did you think we wouldn’t be keeping a close eye on your chip?”

“I-”

    Before you could say anything you heard a yell and looked back to find a surprising scene. The women had broken away from the guard, a silver blade in each hand. Once she was on her feet she didn’t hesitate to throw a blade in your direction. You screamed but Sunwoo pulled you into his embrace and turned you around to protect you. He held you tightly and after a moment pulled back.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… yeah…”

“Go after her!” Sunwoo yelled. “Now.”

“Sir-”

“I’ll be fine!”

    The security guard chased after the woman, but you were wondering what the other meant. That’s when you noticed a blade sticking out of Sunwoo’s back. You screamed and started to worry, but he told you to calm down.

“You’re hurt…”

“It’s okay, it’s nothing serious.”

“I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t your fault.”

“Still…”

“Come on, let’s get back to the others.”

    Even though he said he was alright you could tell he wasn’t. He was hunching over and leaning against you.

“Sunwoo…”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it… you need blood… don’t you?”

“Y/n…”

    You didn’t really listen to him, helping him down onto his knees. You apologized before grabbing the blade and pulling it out. Sunwoo yelled and threw a glare at you, eyes glowing red. He grabbed your arm holding the blame.

“Don’t… I’ll be fine…”

“I don’t trust that…”

    You pulled away from Sunwoo’s grasp. You wiped the blood of the blade and took a moment to prepare yourself before slicing open your palm. You winced from the pain, but held out your hand for him. He didn’t want it, but you knew he would need it, so you pressed your bloody palm against his wrist. Once he tasted blood he couldn’t help himself. He drank, grabbing a hold of your arm and holding you close. When he pulled back to catch his breath you could already see he was better. Although before you could say anything he lunged at you and pinned you to the ground.

“Sunwoo-”

    He sunk his fangs into your neck, making you yell before this feeling of ecstasy began to take over. You wrapped your arms around Sunwoo, your vision beginning to fade as your head swam. You tried to speak but you didn’t have the strength to form words and slowly, your world became black.

❤

“What the hell were you thinking!”

    You began to regain consciousness as sounds of yelling filled your ears. You looked around, vaguely able to make out the limo you were in, and felt the rumbling of movement.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be she-”

“That’s not an excuse!”

“… sorry…” You mumbled. “… my fault…”

“Y/n, you’re awake.”

    You had been sitting on the floor, in between Sangyeon’s legs and resting your head on his thigh. Once he realized you were awake he gently caressed your cheek.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm… I was… just trying… to help…”

“Your actions were crazy. You should never do something like that.”

“Sorry…”

“Just take it easy, you’re okay.”

“… what… the other…”

“She got away, but she’s not your concern.”

“Okay…”

“You just rest and focus on getting better.”

    The next couple of days you did spend in bed. Since you hadn’t taken the pill, and Sunwoo went a bit overboard, your body had to go about recovery the natural way. You ate in your room, getting help until you could feed yourself. Once you could get out of bed you were able to walk around the house, with some help of course. You were told that the events at the gala were kept under wraps, so there was nothing to worry about in regards to that.

“I want to go to a care house.”

“What?”

“I want to see what it looks like.”

“You’re not in a condition to be going out.”

“But I need to know.”

“Hm…” Sangyeon pondered it over. “Fine.”

    You still had to wait until you were capable of walking on your own before Sangyeon would keep his word. You weren’t sure what to expect, so it was all quite a surprise. The facility was huge, and you basically went on a tour. You saw how everyone had their own room, and a few items as well. They were given so many activities to fill their time with, both indoor and outdoor. This whole place seemed like a community home.

“Vampires mostly leave the humans to themselves. We only draw blood from them once a week.”

    Everything seemed to be well, and everyone seemed happy. You didn’t see an issue here but then you remembered the chip in your neck. You reached up to touch the area, feeling a bit uneasy. They were stronger than you but from what you had seen so far they didn’t mean any harm. Humans seemed to be okay, and you saw no reason to mess with it. On the ride home you stared out the window, thinking about the world you had been discovering.

“Are you okay?” Chanhee asked.

“Yeah… it just feels like I’m so new to the world…”

“It’s cute. You’re just like when we first brought you home.”

“But I don’t get to continue like this…”

“It is upsetting, but you’re practically at the point where you originally wanted to do the show.”

“Yeah.”

    You recovered for a few more days, and once you were better you were taken back to the village. It was weird going back to that lot, no longer afraid but having a new perspective. You followed the boys into the building you had run out of once upon a time. Except this time you were going in through the front entrance. You were only in the dark for a bit before you came upon a familiar scene. The village was the same as you remembered it, but you could see it in a new light now. Suddenly all the cameras and stage lights were visible, and you could see this place for what it really was. Makebelieve. 

“How did I not see all this…”

“Cause we made it so you wouldn’t.” Juyeon explained. “Since that’s the point of all this.”

“Right.”

“Are you ready to go back?” Younghoon asked. 

“Yeah. I should see this to end. Besides, you have all put so much work into this.”

“You have as well.”

“All the more reason.”

    You walked through the village, seeing all the things that you weren’t aware of before. It was kind of funny, making you wonder how you would feel in the future looking back on all of this. When you were satisfied you went off to find Sangyeon.

“You good?”

“Yup.” You smiled. “I’m good.”

“Come on then.”

    Sangyeon held out his hand and you gladly took it. You waved goodbye to the other boys, seeing all the smiles on their faces too.

“See you tomorrow.”

[gabessquishytum]

Uni au ish. Definitely not me projecting......

Contrary to what people would think, Dream is the procrastinator.

Sure, Hob starts working on his essays a couple of days before the deadline but he gets it done relatively quickly.

Dream however will start months in advance and get stuck in perfectionism hell, which leads to him having to write his essay on the last possible day because there is no more time for perfection.

- 🍃

Oh god yes.

And of course he's all snooty about how he's started his essay 3 weeks early, and Hob hasn't even started reading the relevant material yet. Hob gets used to Dream’s slightly barbed comments about how it sets a bad academic standard to be starting a project a few dates before the deadline. He takes it all in his stride for the first term or two... and then he finds out about Dream’s little secret! He may start his essays well in advance, but he doesn't turn them in until the very last minute!

Dream kind of explains why he's Like That and Hob just gives him a hug and tells him that he needs some therapy, maybe. And maybe also from now on they can work on their stuff together? A study buddy won't fix Dream’s problems but at least he'll be in good company when he breaks down about stupid ole Shakespeare at 2 am.

Library dates turn into actual dates, which turns into Hob kissing Dream softly after they both hand in their assignments. And Dream figures that the promise of another kiss will be enough to get him to finish his next essay much, much quicker.

[writingshushf1]

Lover - chapter 3

Summary: the next 4 minutes have decided your whole life.  

Rating: +16

Warnings: unplanned pregnancy, intimacy (but not sex)

Word count: 3.5k

Note:  hey! sorry for not updating, I moved, uni started so I was basically studying, eating and sleeping, now that I adjusted into my routine- IT’S BACKKK! i hope yall enjoy it! don’t be a ghost reader! (also available on AO3.)

masterlist

(BEGINNING OF) JULY, 2024.

It’s been 6 weeks that you and Mick haven’t seen each other, it was the start of the break of the season, so he would be around a month with you. It meant you could actually talk to him about what happened between you two. That week, you scheduled a doctor’s appointment to know the sex of the baby, so then you would transform your office into a nursery.

The german would be back in a tuesday, so you made sure your appointment was going to be after that, to at least give the chance of him deciding whether he wanted or not to be in. It was a week after the ideal time to see the gender? Yes, but you didn’t actually care, probably on the last ultrasound, the doctor saw it’s sex, but you told him you didn’t want to know yet, because you were waiting for your friend to be back from his work trip and he was one of the most important people in your life. Seb also came to Monaco with Hanna, both of them wanted to be there for you, like your parental figure and you loved the idea, Mick even offered his spare room so they wouldn’t need to go to a hotel.

After a few hours on Tuesday, he messaged you after arriving at his apartment, although you wanted him to invite you, maybe it wasn’t the moment yet, to see him and act like nothing happened. You were working, thank God they still wanted you - at least until the baby was born, so all the paperwork you were avoiding last week now needed to be sent and approved by your boss. Everything was making you stressed, so you stopped for a while and layed on your bed, putting your hands on your bump and feeling little movements, still very subtle, if you weren’t alone, you wouldn’t be able to feel it; in two weeks others would be able to feel them kicking, because it would be stronger. Out of the blue, you heard your phone ringing, so you picked up to see Mick’s number.

“Hi…” You said softly.

“Hey… I… Can you come over? I’m feeling a bit lonely and Seb will arrive in the middle of the night, so I would love to have someone keeping me up.”

“Why will he arrive in the middle of the night and not during the morning?”

“Oh, the flight had problems, so they cancelled it and got an earlier flight, because the other available he wouldn’t be able to arrive on time for the appointment.”

“I’m going, give me 5 minutes.”

When you arrived, the door was already open and an anxious Mick was waiting for you, he looked at your belly, impressed by how big it was and then at your boobs, blatantly staring at them until you were too close for him to disguise. He hugged you gently, kissing your forehead.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

You looked at each other for a few seconds before getting in and sitting on the sofa together. He let you lay your head on his lap, while you stayed in silence for a couple of minutes and the sound of the tv filled the space.

“Your bump is so big.”

“I know, right? 22 weeks.”

“Already? God, we’ve known each other for that long?”

“15 weeks, which would be almost four months, yeah.”

“I don’t know, it looks like we’ve always known each other.”

“Yeah… I don’t know, Micki, maybe we just clicked.”

You turned on your side, watching the random tv show, you felt his hands run through your scalp, caressing it; the affection was making you sleepy, even starting to softly snore. You heard him laughing at you.

“Sorry, I’m always tired and every chance I get to nap, I’ll do it.”

“It’s okay… I know you get tired because of the baby, but it was a bit funny that you just fell asleep within minutes.”

You laughed and looked at him again, sitting up dangerously close to him. One of Mick’s arms was around your waist, while the other was on top of his leg, almost on yours; slowly your hands were up his chest, with your face almost touching each other. You shouldn’t be doing this, it wasn’t the time, on the other hand, he was there for you, always. When you were about to kiss, his alarm rang, so you backed off from one another and he saw the time.

“We should get going to the airport, Seb and Hanna will arrive soon.” He said, getting up.

Frustration ran through your body, but you ignored, also getting up and walking behind him towards the garage from the building. You were feeling cold because you forgot your coat at your house, because when Mick messaged you, the last thought was going to get something to make you warm, he normally did that. The blonde noticed you shivering - even if it was summer, Monaco at night could be chilly, seconds later he was giving his coat to you and you felt drunk with his perfume exhaling from the jacket.

The ride till the airport was nice, mostly quiet, a consequence from your actions earlier - and you were napping for a part of it. He woke you up by lightly tapping on your shoulder, which initially you turned your body to the other side, then he tapped again, starting to talk about how you two would be late to see Sebastian, that made you wake up instantly. You waited for an hour till they arrived, the couple looking very tired, but that didn’t stop them from hugging both of you.

“Your bump is so big, honey!” Hanna said, touching it. “You said it was 22 weeks, right? Wow.” She smiled. “I know you weren’t into it in the beginning, but you do look beautiful, the pregnancy glow is working very well for you.”

“Right? The only thing I have to do regularly is to put lotion on my bump because it’s growing too fast and it’s stretching the skin.”

“That’s normal, I’ve been there three times.”

“Let’s go, girls?” Seb intervened. “I’m very tired and you two must be too.”

The ride to Schumacher’s apartment was silent, you let Sebastian sit on the passenger seat, so you and Hanna were in the back. Most of the trip you were sleeping, so was the blonde woman. Mick felt bad to wake you up, because he knew you waited on your feet for the German couple, so he took you into his arms and left you in his bed, taking off your shoes and the jacket, covering your body with a blanket before he showed the others where they would be staying. After they were settled, he put his pyjama - which consisted in only wearing boxer shorts, and laid next to you, however, he didn’t touched your body, seeing that your bump was big and he was afraid of hurting it; although, a few minutes later you were somewhat hugging his body as a result of not having your pregnancy pillow with you; the blonde liked that and tried to stay in the same position to not bother you.

It was 9am and you were up, in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone. Schumacher smelled the pancakes and walked in, still with his sleepy face.

“Good morning…” He smiled, putting his hands on your waist, laying his head on your shoulder. “Do you need any help?”

“Uhm… Yeah, wash the fruits, get the syrup and the honey, make the table…” You said, flipping a pancake.

“Ok. Coffee, tea and juice?”

“Yeah.”

You two were doing the breakfast when the German couple walked in, looking Mick and you together, talking and cooking together.

“They look like us when we were younger.” Hanna whispered.

“Yeah, they do.” Seb kissed his wife's forehead. “They look good together.”

Then you noticed their presence, blushing a little and pretending they didn’t see how you two were acting to each other. The four of you sat down to eat. Mick and Sebastian were talking while you concentrated on eating, considering you were doing that for two instead of one.

….................................................

It was the time for the ultrasound and you were there waiting with the other three for the doctor to start.

“Do you have any guesses on the baby’s sex?” The doctor asked.

“No. Not at all, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about that, being completely honest.” You said, looking at Mick, hoping he would say something.

“No one else?”

“I think it’s going to be a girl.” Seb said to support you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Maybe a boy.” Hanna added.

“Let’s see if the… The patient's parents are right.”

Vettel didn’t correct the doctor, even though you weren’t father-daughter, he knew you would need some figure to be there and you internally thanked him for that. You couldn’t pay attention on the images, because all that was passing through your head was the image of a happy family, where Sebastian and Hanna were the future grandparents - or almost that, waiting for the result, while the dad of this kid was also there to be by your side, which it would be Mick. You noticed that the younger blonde was squeezing his hands together like he was holding himself from being closer to you.

Schumacher’s head was restless, all of his thoughts were running around at once, making him distracted from what was happening during the appointment. Fidgeting his hands to not get closer, looking around to not get nervous and if someone entered the room, they would’ve bet he was the father just from his actions.

“So…” The deep voice from the doctor awakened Mick from his trance. “It’s a girl! Congrats.”

“I knew it!” Vettel smiled, kissing your head. “You need to think about names! I had an idea for her room.”

"You always knows! It's not fair." You said to him. Vettel had guessed all of his kids when Hanna was pregnant.

“Congrats, schatz!” Hanna also walked to be by your side.

The younger German smiled, secretly holding your hand. “I would love to see a mini you running around.” He whispered.

Later that night, you and Hanna were making dinner while the boys were adjusting the nursery for the baby. You often walked there, to see them dirty with paint, talking in German and laughing. This was a night that you never thought would happen. On the other hand, you were so happy that it was, having them being there for you when you need the most, being this “non” conventional family that it’s better than you’ve ever asked for. When dinner was ready they changed their outfits to not stain the house with the paint. The four of you sat on the table, mostly filling the silence with small talks while you appreciated the delicious lasagna that Hanna made.

“I thought about a name…” You said, having the three pairs of eyes on you after that.

“Do tell!” Mick looked at you, curious.

“Okay… I liked the name Sophia. Is it a common name? Yes, but it’s pretty…” You took a sip of your juice.

“It’s a beautiful name.” Sebastian smiled.

“I think this should be the one.” Hanna completed.

“You sure?”

“Of course! It’s beautiful and… It's just… Clicks, you know?” Schumacher looked at you, his piercing blue eyes could see you through.

After the dinner, the boys offered to clean the kitchen, so you two went to the balcony to relax, no conversation needed. You loved that, the fact that Hanna became your second mom and was supporting you in this journey, the way she knows you to the core and tries to be a sort of grandma/auntie to the baby - now with a name to call, Sophia, that would probably get called Sophie as a nickname. She looked at you sometimes, smiling and taking a sip from her drink, maybe she was proud of you.

An hour later, you were back to Mick’s apartment since the German couple was staying there and you were asleep in no time again, but this time in his room. Sebastian and Hanna were in the spare bedroom, getting ready to sleep and the younger blonde? On his balcony, making a phone call.

“Mama. Hey.” He smiled. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too, lieb.”

“Seb and Hanna are here! I think you knew, right?”

“Yes, of course! How are things going? Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine! Really good time.” He looked at the streets, emptier than usual.

“And your friend? Does she know the sex of the baby?”

“It’s a girl… Seb somehow got it right.”

“Oh! Say that I’m happy for her.” She laughed. “He always does, Mickey.”

“Yeah… It’s going to be Sophia.” His tone was vague, like he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation.

“You want to talk about something, don’t you?” She knew him all too well. “When you’re not focused that means you want to talk about something.”

“Well… I’m in love with her.” He confessed, sighing out loud, which called Vettel’s attention while he was going to grab a bottle of water, then he stayed to see what Mick was saying. “But she’s…”

“Pregnant with someone else’s child. Yeah, schatz, it’s somewhat complicated, but not the worst.” She said “You should follow your heart, okay? Your dad would say that to you too.”

“I know, mama, I know.” He sniffled. “It’s hard, people judging that I’m taking a big responsibility into the growth of my career.”

“It is hard, it’s a child that we’re talking about and you're young, however… You should do whatever feels best to both of you, or better… The three of you.”

“I’ll, I promise.”

“And remember what your papa always said, private is private.”

“Yes, you know I follow this as much as I can.”

“By the way, come to visit us! I’m missing my baby boy.” She laughed and so did he. “And bring the girl, I wanna meet her. To see if she’s worth it.”

“Mama!”

“Just to make sure, sohn.”

“Okay. Danke, Mama.'' He smiled. “See you soon.”

Then Sebastian appeared on the balcony, scaring Mick.

“Sorry, I heard a part of your phone call with your mom, I know I shouldn’t have done it.”

“It’s okay, really… I would love an uncle Seb moment right now.”

The older German hugged him, running his fingers through the youngest’s hair while he breathed calmly, enjoying the comfort.

“It still hurts a little when she mentions dad.”

“Oh, liebling, it must suck sometimes… But she knows about things, that’s why she says it.”

“I know, I know.” He looked at his mentor. “Changing the subject before I start to cry… Mom said I should go and see them and bring… You know who, with me.”

“Really? Did Corinna listen to me? I’m flattered.” He chuckled.

“You gave the idea to her?”

“Maybe I did.” Vettel's unforgettable cocky smile was appearing.

“Why?”

“You admitted to her and yourself. You’re in love. You want her to be part of your family, then why not introduce her to them?”

“What if they don’t like her?”

“They will, I know they’ll.”

“But if she doesn’t want to go?”

“I’m sure she does want to meet your family because it is an important thing for you and she would do everything for your happiness.”

“And I would do the same for her.”

“See? You’re on the same page, but refuse to admit that to each other!”

“It’s because of the baby.”

“I know, on the other hand, does it really matter? She won’t go to the father of Sophie for anything, that means she’s single and obviously wants you. Maybe if you do think it’s better and can handle it, you can wait till the baby is born to start something and if you won’t go to try something, both of you will regret that.”

“I know… I hate that I know all of this but the courage doesn’t seem to get into my head.”

“It’s okay, you can go slowly, but always make sure to have conversation, that’s the most important thing you could ever have.”

“Thank you, Seb.” He breathed out, like a heavy weight was lifted off from his shoulders. “I needed a sign to come back to reality.”

“I will always help you and try to guide you to the best decisions.”

“That’s what a mentor does!”

They chuckled and walked to their respective bedrooms. Meanwhile, you woke up from the noise that Mick made when he entered the room, sitting on the bed and waiting for him to get into his pyjamas and lay on the bed.

“Sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay…” You felt the baby move. “Actually, do you want to try to feel the baby moving?”

“Oh.” He was taken by surprise with your idea. “Yes, totally. Can I feel it, already?”

“You? Barely, I can feel it more, however, we can put our hands on my bump and wait. Also we can talk to her in hopes that she will move to the sound of our voices.”

He sat behind you, letting your back against his chest and laying his hands on the top of your belly after you rolled your shirt enough to show the bump.

“From which week can I feel it? Like, actually feel it?”

“Week 24. In two weeks.”

“Wow, it’s close.”

“Yeah.”

Both of you set your hands on your bump, slowly caressing and talking in a lower and softer spoken tone, so that the baby could listen - from this week, the baby can hear the parent’s voice. It was an intimate moment that would never do with him unless both of you were deeply in love. That was showing to Mick more obvious signs that both were on the same page, which let him be more sure of what he was going to ask next.

“Go to Switzerland with me. Let’s spend a week or so there, meet my family, spend time together where there won't be any cameras or people surrounding us with questions.”

You stayed quiet for a while, it was a big information to deal with.

“So…?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure… I was just concentrating on Sophie.” Then she moved abruptly. “Wow, that was a big move, little girl, too early for that.”

“Maybe she agrees with my offer.”

“Shut up, Mick.” You laughed, moving his hands around for him to feel it still moving.

….........................................................

During the morning, Sebastian woke you up to go shopping for the baby nursery related things, he was more excited than you were, which was the cutest thing to watch. You two were walking down the store hall, looking through cribs.

“You’re going to be her godfather, right? And Hanna, her godmother.”

“Is this a request or an order?”

“Both?”

He laughed, getting closer and stopping at a colourful crib and looking at it.

“I will.” He smiled. “Everything for you.”

“Good! Maybe she’ll call you Opa.”

“I’ll love that.”

You kept looking at things for the whole morning, buying a crib, outfits, decoration, more paint and some cloth diapers. The choice for the style of the room was rainbows, sunshine and rain, like summer. Mick and Hanna got scared on how many things you have bought for the room, they didn’t let you do any effort, just sit and see the room gaining life. When the room was finished it made you cry, it was beautiful, the love put on that little room was overbearing.

“We should put paint in our hands and put it on the front of the door.” You said. “I want this memory to be part of Sophie’s life.”

You had five different paint colours, so everyone could have one. You chose purple, Mick chose red, Sebastian chose green and Hanna chose yellow, probably in the future you would do her hand in blue.

“When it dries, I will write our names below.”

Later that day, you and Mick took the German couple back to the airport, they needed to be back at home for the kids. You cried again, because you weren’t going to see them anytime soon, so the moment was emotional.

The ride back was silent, none of you wanted to say a word, however, it was okay, the silence was comfortable. You went to his apartment, the paint was still wet and the smell made you feel a bit sick, so of course he would let you crash at his place for the night. Both of you sat on the sofa, now alone, no conversations going around, just you.

“We need to talk.” Schumacher said, fidgeting with his hands.

“We do.”

“Can I start?”

“Sure.”

“So…” He sighed. “My feelings lately have been bothering me, because they’re too much. When I met you, I thought I had a new friend that found out that was pregnant and I would be the annoying uncle… However, things haven’t worked well. I developed feelings, big ones and I tried to suppress them, because Sophia is someone else’s and I couldn’t take this place and you were… And is currently overwhelmed by everything changing so fast. But we kissed, made out and it felt amazing. I was caught up in this, Max even mocked me for it. And again, we set it out as a friendship, when we clearly are more than this. We sleep on the same bed, cuddle, you put my hands into your bump to feel her. I am confused about everything, because… I want to be yours, but I know that maybe you won’t be ready for it.”

You stood there, his words were like a sharp knife cutting into your chest, you didn’t know how hurt he was. He breathed out, chuckling and sobbing at the same time, looking down.

“You don’t feel the same, right?”

That took you out of your trance.

“Hey! Hey! Calm down… I disassociated, this was a big confession…” You held his face. “I have one to make it too.”

“Please, say it.”

“I also feel the same. It’s more than a friendship. I didn’t want to drag you with me because I knew that you would go all down for being a father figure and I don’t want that. You have a bright future and it’s too early for that, especially when you’re not the biological dad.” You felt tears falling off your face. “And what will people say about you? I’m worried about that too.”

“I don’t care about them, schatz.”

“But I do.” He wiped your tears off. “I like you and want what’s best for you only.”

“The best for me is to be with you, if you want to.”

It took you a few seconds to answer him.

“I do.” Both of you breathed out at the same time, like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “We can go slowly, only making it official after Sophie’s birth, okay? Avoid telling anyone other than our family and closest friends. Right now, we don’t have an official label, we’re getting to know each other, is that good for you?”

“If this means that I can kiss you, I’m fine with it.”

He got closer to you, closing the gap between your lips; the kiss was salty due to the tears that fell from your face, it was slow and tender, like he was afraid to step in too much.

“We could take a shower together.” You suggested.

“For someone that wants to take it slowly, this is…”

“It’s not sexual! Oh God, you’re so horny.”

“Always, babe, always.”

You laughed, slapping his shoulder.

“It’s to create a bond, intimacy between us. When I’m in labour, you will see my body, so you should get used to it. Probably you will help me to shower and I’ll always be messy in the postpartum period, those times will be the hardest and it will probably be after the season is over, so you will be home to experience everything.”

“Okay… Let’s go then.”

You got your pyjamas and towels, going to the big bathroom. The undressing was awkward, none of you wanted to stare at the other, like it was a crime to do it. He turned on the shower, walking in with you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He hugged you from behind, bringing your body into the hot water. “Let me take care of you.”

Then he took the shampoo, putting on your hair and massaging the scalp slowly, leaving a trail of kisses in your shoulder. After he washed out, Mick put conditioner on your hair, carefully passing through your strands, while you relaxed with the attention. Soon, he grabbed the washcloth, putting the soap on it and passed through your bump, then shoulders, back, and legs, not getting close into parts of your body he didn’t know if he was allowed to touch.After the relaxing shower, when you were just wearing panties, he walked with you to the front of the mirror, grabbing a moisturiser and staying behind you.

“I remember you talking with Hanna, about having to put lotion because the skin is stretching.” He put the mixture into his palms, soon with them in your belly, moving around carefully. “I researched about it. Looked some tips and bought this one for you, it said it could help with it.”

“Oh...” Your heart melted with his softness. “Thank you, Schumi.”

“No need to thank me, it’s a treat for you that I’ve been saving it.”

Later, both of you were laying on his bed, cuddling while watching a movie, when he broke the silence.

“So… Are we going to Switzerland then?”

“Of course. I know how important it is to you.”

“Then I’ll get everything ready for us.”

[kzlove]

support

syn -> a handsome stranger hears you crying over a breakup in the middle of the night, and wants to help.

(modern college students) connie springer x reader

beware of.. violence, heartbreak

you sat on the balcony of your apartment, curled up and holding yourself while sobbing silently.

as of recent, your boyfriend of three years broke up with you with the assumption of you cheating.

of course it wasn't true. you had eyes for him and him only.

the only time you'd really go out was to study with some classmates or see your friends that went to a different college.

that didn't stop him from believing you were cheating on him.

he proceeded to curse you out something serious over the phone, calling you a slut and worse with his friends.

it had gone on for the entire of yesterday and even shifting into the next day.

the name calling was overwhelming.

you sniffled, before letting out another nerve-racking sob.

you knew you shouldn't be crying. everyone around warned you about how he could get.

how toxic the man was.

but you loved him. you didn't let rumors bother you.

maybe you should have let that flip a switch.

a few knocks on your floor shook you from your thoughts. was it the apartment below?

"hey. you alright up there?" the man asked loud enough for you to hear.

it must've been the new guy that moved in recently.

"y-yeah. sorry for the noise." you responded, wiping your face and sniffling a little more.

"it's cool.. can i ask why you're crying?" the man continued, shifting around on his own balcony.

you paused for a second, before squinting at the bars that protected you from falling.

"just a stupid break up." you muttered, leaning back onto the bars.

"oof. maybe i can come up to help you feel better? i just got some mcdonalds and i've got extra." the male suggested, shaking the bag.

who were you to reject this offer?

~

after a few minutes, your doorbell rang and you scrambled up to go open the door.

your midnight visitor stood before your door with a smile, holding up the bag of food to you.

"hey. i'm connie." he introduced, holding out his hand.

you shook it with a soft smile, stating your name with a wavering voice.

you moved to the side and let connie in, gesturing over to your comfortable couch.

he walked over and took a seat, watching you close the door and take a seat next to him.

"did you recently move in?" you asked, watching as he began to lay out the food onto the coffee table.

connie nodded, smiling at you. "i'm from ragako. came to shiganshina to study computer science." he stated.

you nodded, gratefully taking the burger handed to you.

"so you go to the uni that's close by?" you asked, taking a bite and looking at him.

he nodded, eating some fries. "what about you? you in school?" connie asked.

"yep. same college." you responded, leaning back into the comfort of your seat.

you didn't want to mention the fact that your now ex-boyfriend also goes there to this handsome stranger.

but it seems he got the memo, and picked up a burger for him to eat.

"wanna talk about that shit head you were crying over earlier?" connie asked, taking a bite.

thus, you poured your heart out to him. and connie actually listened to you intently.

he made no comment as you spoke about your relationship, just nodding in acknowledgement.

when you finished, connie leaned back and hummed quietly.

"damn. he really sucks." connie muttered, looking at you.

you muttered a short 'tell me about it' while taking a sip of the smoothie in your hand.

"that's okay though, 'cuz you've got a real man to help you out." connie joked, flexing his muscles.

and for the first time that night, you laughed with connie.

maybe you wouldn't regret accepting this young man's offer to come into your house.

~

it had been about two months since you met connie, and the two of you had begun going to school together on days the two of you had class.

you had also gotten closer, figuring out that connie was studying computer science and occasionally did modeling.

it was how he sparked up a few hundred thousand fans.

today was thursday, so you didn't have any classes. connie had a nine am class so he wasn't in the building.

the two of you had plans to crash out in his apartment to have a movie date after he finished his assignment.

so you were in the kitchen preparing some things to take downstairs to his place.

a few knocks on your door made you raise your eyebrow, looking over at the time.

it was only 10:05, too early for connie to be home from class without notice.

you know you hadn't ordered anything, so you pondered on who it could possibly be.

you waited for a bit to see if there would be another knock, and there was.

you groaned internally and made your way over to the door, looking into the peephole.

it was your ex-boyfriend standing at your door.

your heart sank in your chest. you frowned before placing the latch onto the door and opening it.

what was he even doing here after calling you all those names.

"what are you doing here?" you muttered, looking at him through the crack of the door.

"hey- uhm.. can you let me in?" he asked, looking at you with a nervous smile.

you rolled your eyes and fixed your posture, taking a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"you can say whatever you need right here." you replied confidently, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

his jaw visibly clenched as he stared at you. he was getting upset.

that never mattered though. you finally had enough balls to face him, and you were not backing down.

"don't be like that. just open the door. i wanna take you back." your ex began, trying to force the door open.

the latch jingled a bit, so you pushed your whole body weight onto it in order to close the door and lock it.

flimsy fucking lock, it was beginning to come off again.

your ex broke it during one of your fights, and you could never seem to get it back to how it was originally.

because of how you slammed and locked the door, your ex began yelling angrily through the door.

he threw insults and death threats shamelessly, before threatening to kick down the door.

with how week the latch for the door was now, you weren't exactly sure he wouldn't get physical with you if he gets in.

so you picked up your phone and dialed connie's number quickly.

after two rings, connie answered. "hey. i'm still in class." connie responded quietly.

the confusion was clear in his voice.

"i'm really sorry but- my ex is at my front door and i don't know what to do." you whispered quietly, pacing up and down in your hall.

it got silent, before loud shuffling could be heard.

"i'm on my way." connie said quickly, before hanging up.

you paced back and forth for another few minutes, as your ex had finally began his kicking at the door.

you grabbed a kitchen knife and stood there, anticipating it.

until it never actually came.

loud grunts could be heard from outside of the house, tumbles and more.

you looked through the peephole and seen ash brown hair in the view. what was happening on the floor was unseeable.

you opened the door slightly, and an unfamiliar man was on top of the man.

the ash brown haired man was standing by the door panting, watching it all go down.

"hey. you alright?" he asked, looking at you with worry.

you nodded, watching as the man on top of your ex boyfriend effectively broke his nose with a loud crunch.

"hey, eren you can stop." jean said, pulling the other man up by his hood.

'eren' wiped his nose slightly, before standing up and fixing his clothes.

"get the fuck outta here and don't come back." eren huffed out, fixing his clothes and watching as the male scattered off.

eren leaned against the wall and sighed, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

"so you're the girl he's been talking about." eren stated with interest, raising his eyebrow.

"eren shut up." connie said, catching everyone's attention.

he looked like he ran a marathon.

jean laughed quietly, shaking his head and taking a look at you.

"yeah she's a keeper. we're out." jean said, punching connie's shoulder and heading the way he came with eren in tow.

"don't you wanna maybe wrap your hand?!" you called out before they could fully make it out of sight.

eren held his hand up as a goodbye and got into the elevator.

you frowned and looked at connie, who was rubbing his forehead.

"sorry i didn't get here earlier." connie muttered, pulling you into a hug.

"it's okay. who were they?" you asked softly, wrapping your arms around him.

"my friends. jean and eren." connie responded.

you nodded. you had to admit, connie had some good friends.

there were a few guys that wouldn't even think about going to help out, like your neighbors.

"so.. are we still on for later?" connie asked sheepishly, pulling away.

you laughed and nodded, smiling softly at him.

"why wouldn't we be?" you asked teasingly, nudging him.

~

the hours later, the two of you were lounging in connie's room watching maybe the fifth movie.

he sat on the floor by the edge of his bed while you sprawled out on the comforter.

your eyes were focused on the tv screen, not noticing connie's lingering eyes on you.

"hey." connie called out, saying your name with confindence.

you looked down at him and raised your eyebrow, smiling.

"i just wanted to let you know i'm always here for you." connie said, looking at you with the softest eyes possible.

in response, you nodded and took his hand into your own. you didn't know where this was coming from, but you were sure he was just thinking over everything.

it'd become a common practice whenever he was around you.

"even if you don't like me anymore. i'm always here. to help, to talk to, anything." connie muttered, pressing his lips against your hand.

"thank you connie. i appreciate it." you cooed quietly, pressing a kiss onto his temple.

he nodded, before giving his focus back over to the movie.

connie was glad to always be your support, but maybe he wanted something more.

something intimate with you.

he wanted you to be just as infatuated with him as he was with you.

[an-expected-journey-to-jeju]

Journal entry #14

It's been a full week since I started school again.

Monday and Tuesday were alright but I didn't end up going to school because my stomach hurt. Before I continue, I have to complain about how much I hate my stomach.

So on Monday, I might have eaten too many cocktail sausages because at midnight, was fighting for my life in the bathroom. I had the WORST intestinal gas pain in my whole entire life. I was so nauseous and I felt like i was getting stabbed. I swear, I couldn't find my waist after I was done. It was literally gone, SNATCHED. I though that was the end but on Wednesday I woke up with stomach pain (gas pain). It wasn't super bad, but it was definitely uncomfortable. I ended up staying home that day. I could have gone to school, but who wants to be uncomfortable with gas pains at school? Also I didn't know how I would get to school and I didn't have enough time to figure it out (that's anxious person time, not normal person time).

Oh, you wanna know the reason why I didn't know how to get to school? Well, as you know I only had one week off and I was wondering if it was the same with the regular uni students. Well I found out that their break is different AND longer. So the shuttle bus that I usually take is not running anymore UNTIL March. My semester ends February 20th! So for this whole semester, I have to take the regular public bus to get to school which is totally fine except I'll be moving far away from the school soon.

Anyway, school has been pretty good. I only missed one day cause of my stomach, but I'm liking it! It's still inconvenient to learn in a classroom. I'd rather just learn by myself, but at least I am able to concentrate. We also had class in the different building for the whole week. It was warm, but I hate that the heater doesn't seem to stay on/stay a consistent temperature. I get toasty warm, and then cold again, and then toasty warm, and then cold again. I hate my body temperature, it fluctuates so much.

2024.12.22

If I didn't suddenly remember, Christmas would have gone past and I wouldn't have even known. It's just so different here than back home. I'm so used to seeing houses with Christmas trees and lights, but there is none of that here. It's also weird not being home for Christmas. I miss everyone and the vibes and the food. I really wish I could have gone home for Christmas. I wouldn't care about the cost or flight time. I just wish that I had an actual vacation, then I would have the time to go.

I also went to a grocery store today with one of the sisters that works in the kitchen at LRIS. It was pretty fun! I just like being in grocery stores I think. The organization, the different sections, is just *muah*. Of course I had to do my makeup as well. I have to look better than everyone else in the grocery store LOL. I wish I had my own car, then I would be able to drive to the grocery stores whenever I want and stock up on food. I've really been wanting to cooking these days. I've actually been studying up on how to cook. If only I could actually put into practice the things I've been learning. I really want to cook! I think I am able to cook in the kitchen downstairs, but I don't know where anything is as well as I don't have the ingredients to cook with. I wouldn't mind taking the bus to a mart but even getting to a bus is a bit tedious. It's also very cold outside because of the wind. Apparently near the new school there is a super market? But when I looked at it on kakao maps it does not look like a super market. I'm not sure if it was just labeled wrong, or "super market" is just a very generic term and can be used for anything. (I went to go check again, but now I'm on TikTok LOL)

I also figured out how to get to school! So on Thursday I got dropped off at school because I still didn't know the bus schedule. But Friday, I took the bus! I still didn't have a good idea of when the bus would come because there wasn't exactly a set schedule I could find like I can at home. I woke up later because I thought I would have more time but then I got a message from the brother that drove me saying to leave now. I was still getting ready so I had to pick up the pace. Overall it was pretty straightforward. The bus comes at 8:23~ish and the terminus station is my university so I don't have to worry about when to get off.

It also has been officially three months since I've came here!

[araminthe]

Sunday 25 of August

Just me sharing some kinda random thoughts, good luck reading all that;

Writing takes time so I kinda took a break to have more time to work on myself.

So, those past few days have been great.

The key is really to get back up everytime you fail. There's nothing else that will help but being persistent in your efforts.

Anyway, 2 days ago I watched a video on YouTube that inspired me a lot. It was a girl that filmed herself throughout her teenage years and she put all those short videos into a long chronological one.

I felt nostalgic, it brought back this feeling of sweet childhood and the simplacity of life.

I deeply believe that by evolving, we humans have lost something essential; I couldn't describe it with simple words, but it's the fact that not being connected to the rest of the world makes you feel more alive in the moment.

Being able to enjoy the mundane everyday life. Getting to enjoy all the small things around; like time spent with family, friends, sharing a meal, getting interested in what's around, creating, enjoying hobbies, being proud of every small thing we did. Just being happy. I believe that this simplicity is partially the key to happiness, and we forgot it with the rise of social media, and this infinite content.

We're way too connected to a digital life to be able to enjoy our real one.

Anyway, that's just an opinion I formed with my personal observations and experiences.

What I wanted to say is that after watching this video (btw it's called "documented my teenage years" by Lili Saori), it brought out many feeling things from deep within my soul. It made me envy this simple happiness and joy I was able to have in the past.

So, I just decided to keep going in my process of self-growth. I also decided to disconnect a bit more from the digital world to enjoy more the present moment and my family.

I feel like it worked.

Those last few days, I did go out with my family, and I felt more joy those days than I used to, like a peace of mind. The more adequate way to describe it is that, It feels like since I'm curing myself from my addictions (like from phones and excessive dopamine) I gained back the ability to taste and feel the peacefulness and sweetness of life.

Which is why I've been feeling kinda euphorical those past few days.

I've also worked on my faith and I feel like God is helping me accomplish all of that. I always forget it, but everytime I go back to my faith and try to strengthen, I start to feel peaceful and fulfilled again, and everything else I try to do starts becoming easier to.

-

Well enough for my thoughts.

Now what I actually did is that is that I studied and practiced my faith more.

I did no work concerning my driving license, I didn't feel like it so it was kinda a resting period to first heal the essential; which is my soul.

It wasn't at all perfect because I fell back into very bad sleeping and eating habits.

But you know, failing is a part of the process.

There are things I've been trying to improve on for such a long time, since we're so impatient we tend to change the change immediately, but it's a process so it comes slowly, with failures and successes.

After this reflecting time, I kinda had this clarity of mind where I figured out lots of things.

So suddenly I woke up after 4h30 of sleep, feeling super energized, after trying for an hour I couldn't go back to sleep so I just decided to work. I worked for 2h, and I feel very proud because I had lost my capacity to focus and work like that for a very long time.

Short form content had very badly messed me up. It's even the reason I failed almost all of my exams of this year, even though it's my first year of uni. Which is why I have to redo to year.

I was completely unable to study even though I used to be such a good student through all my school years, it made me feel so miserable. I don't want to go trough that again.

And school starts in 2 weeks again and I am scared of the same thing happening to me again, wanting to work but being unable to.

But I will do my best and swear to not let myself down again.

Anyway, I worked a lot, then slept again for 3 hours, and I woke up feeling very good.

I spent lot of time with family and felt kinda high on life.

Everything made me happy.

Talking to my parents, with my siblings, etc..

Because I'm usually so distant with them.

I love them but never show it. Like I have no emotional connection to them. But I do.

I'm just not a big feeler. But anyway, it's nice to feel truly happy again after such a long time of despair.

Being happy and having small moments of joy in between your struglles is not the same.

And after that, I also worked a whole lot again on my driving license.

I almost spent half my day on that.

I thing in 2 or 3 days, I will be able to take the exam and finally go to the practical step.

For the moment I'm taking the theoretical test and I have to learn all the rules and advices for learning, there were more than I hundred lessons I swear.

It makes me so excited to think that I will finally get to drive a car, (even though it's for learning for the moment.)

Well, that kinda was a long monoligue.

But writing has this healing effect on me.

The inside of my head is so unorganised, writing slows down this thought process and makes it more clear and organized.

It's a form of self-help.

Anyway.

If you read this, well done, that surely was not an easy or entertaining task, but I appreciate the time you've given to it.

Wish everyone the best.

Keep going. Efforts are accumulated and failing is part of the process. Just get back up and do not lose sight of your goals.

Nothing's impossible, just give it time and you will see your results.

Sending love, bye ! 👋 🩷

[chemblrish]

Hey, First of all, I love your blog. It's literally aesthetic ~ I wanted to ask if you considered job prospects before deciding on your degree because I see people around me saying chem is not worth it because of future possibilities. I also have a background in Biotechnology, but had a similar issue with it being too vague. I am working in a totally different field which I am greatful for but I dont plan on staying here long term. Seeing your blog rekindled my interest in chem so would love to know your point of view on this or any advice you could offer. You can totally ignore this if you want as well <3

[This got SO LONG omg 🙈 But I hope it can be helpful]

Hi there fellow chem enthusiast!

To be honest, it's no secret that finding a job in the scientific field is difficult here in Poland. I was fully aware of it when I chose biotech first and then chemistry second. My reasoning back then was, "I love science more than anything and, since I have the opportunity to study it literally for free, why not take it? Why not spend five years - that are going to come and go anyway - learning something I'm passionate about, broadening my knowledge, and giving myself a chance to create a beautiful future for myself? Even if I fail to get a job in science, at least I will know that I tried my best. I'll have spent five precious years of my life doing something incredible."

Which may sound a little depressing, I agree 😅 But several years later, I still think this way. Even if I can't get a job in chemistry once I graduate, at least I'm so, so happy now. I can't really picture myself doing anything that's not science-related, so I know I have to try.

But at the same time, after a couple of years studying for two different science degrees, I have some insight that I didn't have straight after high school. I have had people tell me getting a science degree isn't worth it too, that I won't get a job afterwards, but I've noticed most of those people belonged to one of the following three categories:

1. People who have absolutely nothing to do with science: distant relatives working in business or trade, my parents' acquaintances with no higher education, everybody who ~has heard things~ but has never really been in the position to see firsthand how these things work.

2. My fellow science majors who have older friends with a science degree: their concerns usually sounded valid to me. After all, they were in touch with people who actually got the degree in question and then tried to navigate the job market post-graduation. Later though I realized a lot of those people belonged to the third category.

3. Science students who honestly don't know what tf they're doing - a category that I like to divide into two subcategories:

a. well-meaning but lost students who really need guidance

b. people who went to uni because eh why not but who don't really care and who refuse to put in the work.

I definitely belonged to category 3a at the very beginning of my uni journey, so there's no shame in that. I'm a first gen uni student, so I had to figure everything out all by myself as I went.

The thing is, I got to talk to a lot of people who complained that a science degree is useless while doing pretty much nothing to sharpen their skills. They floated through uni as if it was nothing but another chore they had to cross out of their to-do list, barely passing, having zero interest in their field of study, not taking any opportunities that were literally out there. No extracurriculars, no internships, no side projects, nothing. Is it surprising at all these people struggle to find a job in science afterwards?

Don't get me wrong, nobody has full control over their life - sometimes you just get lucky. My friend's friend (lol) needed to take a break from uni after his BSc and got a job in an analytical lab straight away. But most often you just really have to work your butt off to get what you want. The people from my old uni who truly cared about biotech worked extremely hard to get to where they are now: with published papers and working with their profs. Harsh as it may sound, I now know that if I don't want to be one of those people with a """useless""" science degree, I have to do more than is expected of me. I have to put my introverted, anxious self out there, because being passive probably won't get me anywhere.

The people who love you and care about you mean well when they say chemistry isn't worth it, but that doesn't mean they're right. Similarly, people who graduate with a science degree and then struggle to get a job aren't all slackers who just didn't try hard enough - that's absolutely not true. Life isn't always what we want it to be. I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable giving you advice since I'm still in uni, but I can tell you my experience, and my experience is people who know what they want and who are willing to work very hard for it, usually get it.

I'd say this is also no secret but it tends to float over people's heads (no shame in this either, it's hard to imagine your whole future when you're like 20) that when your profs tell you to do more, they're being serious. When they say doing extra is important, they're right.

So, I believe in all this stuff and I work hard and I got myself an internship, and will this get me a job in chemistry? I don't know! I've no idea! Maybe I'll fail miserably! Maybe I'll be one of those people who genuinely try hard and then just happen to be really unlucky! But right now I'm doing everything that's in my power not to let that happen. I can't guarantee you success in the scientific field - nobody can - but I can tell you hard work, determination, and faith in yourself increase your chances of succeeding dramatically. It's a cliche, I'm aware, but if you never try, you never know. You only get one precious chance to experience living on this floating rock and everything that comes with it. Why not try to make it good?

[daisyachain]

Haruhi Suzumiya post-canon vision. Kyon wakes up to find a dog in his yard one day. Nagato unexpectedly is nominated to give a graduation speech. The Science classrooms develop a mold problem and Koizumi ends up attending class at Kouyouen for a month.

The gang graduates 3rd year and the supernatural trio attend different schools (Haruhi has been designated ‘stable’ enough to leave). Kyon loses his virginity to Taniguchi on a technicality. It turns out Kyon passed his uni entrance exam due to Haruhi’s divine intervention, and once he starts classes he discovers he didn’t actually have much of a grasp on the prerequisites. The supernatural trio are revealed to have disappeared from the timeline entirely and are communicating with Haruhi and Kyon’s mobile phones only via time-independent Thought Entity data streams. The SOS brigade conspires to launch a false flag operation and provoke the Powers That Be into sending the supernatural trio back to bodyguard duty. Kyon and Haruhi start dating.

It’s revealed that Haruhi invented time travel (or constructed the necessary theoretical basis) before the kid did. Asahina recognizes the code in Haruhi’s notes and asks Kyon to obfuscate it enough to be useless. Meanwhile, Koizumi manages to make a partial copy and tries to reverse engineer the original while playing Spy vs Spy with Asahina. Nagato eventually wipes his memory, revealing that it’s not the first time he’s been tampered with.

Kunikida starts creating closed space. Kyon has several encounters with a suspicious stranger who eventually turns out to be Sasaki, who has taken her/his/their schtick one step further and is now presenting as a man when among boys, as a woman when among girls, and as androgynous in mixed company. The gang hunts for an esper to address the closed space. Nagato fails a history course and is forced to retake it with Haruhi as a tutor. Kyon has a personally significant Closed Space adventure with Koizumi, but on returning, Nagato confirms that Koizumi was not present in the closed space and that it was an automatically generated personality based off of Kyon’s expectations.

Kyon follows Haruhi to grad school, having actually studied this time. Asahina reveals that this is a breach in the known timeline. Tensions over lab hours and funding strain their relationship. Kyon is forced to navigate multiple alternate universes to make the current one stable, where he meets an alternate Fujiwara and learns that he originally had a child with a time-displaced Asahina. Nagato is severed permanently from the Thought Entity to isolate a Canopy Domain worm virus and has to function with only a human’s storage and data processing capabilities. Tsuruya is temporarily designated as a TE interface.

Haruhi finds out about the brigade by accident, leading to a near-cataclysm. Adult Mikuru pills the SOS members to the future to protect them temporarily, but Kyon fights her and ends up trapped in an intermediate time zone. With Nagato out of commission, Tsuruya and young Mikuru go to find him and end up trapped in that time plane. Adult Mikuru and Koizumi work as a pair to fix Haruhi’s damage to the time system while the others figure out a way to time travel to one point or the other. In the current timeline, the now-human Nagato has to rationalize to Haruhi why her boyfriend is lying to her. Koizumi’s memory is up for wiping again once the plot is done, but young Mikuru secretly extracts his memories and splits them among the group members, leaving Koizumi an empty shell in the prices. Each SOS member has to enter a Tsuruya-guided trance state to extract the Koizumi fragments and piece them together. Haruhi and Kyon break up as a consequence of the information transmitted. Nagato refuses to rejoin the TE when she neutralizes the worm, leaving Tsuruya as their only contact point. Taniguchi earnestly tries to win Suoh over in a fit of misplaced nostalgia.

[theyourstruly]

Alex has been sent out he wasn't able to share much, but he's been calling whenever he can.

They have managed to see each other a couple more times before he left, and after a month Eleanor has already been missing him like crazy. He'll probably think she's silly, at the end of the day it's only been a month.

Letting her worries go she's been focusing on her studies and the Tennis charity Tournament, but she can't wait to see Alexander again.

Sitting in the library with the girls

They take their notes and work on their individual assignments.

"Do any of yous understand task 5b." Stella asks

"Let me check." Rhea replies back.

Calculate the following ratios and comment on the performance of the business over the two years.

"Oh no, this is a question for you El" she jokes

Laughing El asks Stella

"What have you filled out"

Handing me her book and checking her answers.

"You just filled it in the wrong spot. There is a 12% increase at the turnover and there's a 23% increase at the expenses. Just flip these two and your good to go" she discovered

"How did you figure that out?"

"It says it right here you weren't reading it correctly"

"Jeez why did I decide to study finance again?"

"You'll be fine" Rhea responds

Emma adds

"You always rush to finish your work of course you're going to miss information"

Working more in silence on their assignment the girls finish up.

"Okay i'm done." Eleanor starts beginning to pack her things.

"Me too" Emma replies

"Anything planned El?" Rhea Asks

"Yeah lunch with Viola and practicing for the tournament"

"Ooh yes. I heard it's going to be on tv"

"It is plus more money for charity"

Just then El's phone rings. Hoping that it's Alex she says her goodbyes to the girls, and rushes off to answer.

"Hello"

Hey, love how have you been doing

Having a hard time hearing him she answers

"I've been good you?"

I'm about to-

The signal breaks.

Looking down at her blackberry she doesn't know how to feel. What was he trying to say?

She hopes that it wasn't anything bad, all she wanted was for him to come back home.

———————————————————————

"You have been enjoying your self right?"

Having met up with her sister Viola who wanted to catch up with her she stays silent still thinking about Alex.

"Listen i understand things are hard right now, but you have to understand where mom and dad are coming from. Your working for your future. You'll be much more financially secure without having to worry about bills and stuff."

"No i understand. Didn't stop you though from doing whatever you wanted"

"I was stupid to drop out, waisted 2 years of my life and now here i am returning back to college with a debt following me around."

Finishing up on their lunch after 20 min. it's time for El to leave again, and go to practice.

Being part of the Tennis Club, it's members and Eleanor have been wanting to plan a tennis tournament, and after bringing it forward to committee members who approved, and have been getting other Uni's

Involved like Cambridge University, University of Bristol, Imperial College and University of Edinburgh.

They've been planning and getting the word out to other students.

The money raised will be split between the 5 Uni's with theirs going to the Magdalen College trust. The trust supports charitable causes like Bicester food bank, little angels and save the children etc.

Wanting to put their best players in Eleanor was one of the few asked to represent Oxford. She's been awfully excited about it all, and has been practicing her technique. The tournament has actually been getting quite the press, and because of it they have managed to get a tv spot out of it with those funds also going to charity.

After practice El walks to her dorm when she receives a call, normally she doesn't answer unknown numbers, but with Alex gone he doesn't get to call from his own phone. Answering she doesn't recognize the man voice

Quietly saying "Who is this?"

Hi is this Eleanor. Uhm it's William, Alexander's brother?

Did something happen to him?

"Why isn't Alex calling, did something happen?"

Mind racing she goes through all the possibilities of what could've happened to him

No he's fine. He asked me to check up on you

Letting out a sigh of relief.

She's not sure how to respond as she's never met his brother before.

"Oh well everything is fine here"

Okay good

"Well this is just awkward now"

Laughing william replies

It is. Uhm it was good speaking to you? And uhm maybe he'll finally introduce us to you

"Yeah sure. I guess i'll hang up now. I wouldn't want to keep you.... from what you were doing"

Yes. Nice talking to you Eleanor. Bye

Hanging up the phone she returns to her dorm wanting to forget that awkward conversation. Getting into the shower and redressing for dinner at the dining hall later on.

She wonders how much longer she has to wait for Alexander's return. She can't believe that the man she met nearly 3 months ago would consume her thoughts so heavily.

[fairiechannie]

studyblr?? do u still exist??

i was a kid on this account with undiagnosed adhd (fun fact! it's still undiagnosed!!) who had the world's hardest time with doing literally anything consistently. now i'm 21 and at least figured out why i had such a hard time!! doing my best but with really cool opportunities like studying abroad for a year??? idk either tbh i feel like a child wandering through the woods 90% of the time. anyway, welcome to a brand new intro to my studyblr!!

my name is sky (they/them), i'm 21 and i just finished my first year at uni majoring in marketing and photography! i'm also a singer-songwriter (formally a music tech major, i would've graduated this year but i had a crisis), you can find some music (mostly covers) on my IG and TikTok: @/apricotskies

i'm a huge kpop stan, and i collect ZB1 matthew's photocards! my favourite groups are ZB1, tripleS, onlyoneof, p1harmony, lesserafim, NCT, and more! other artists i love are renee rapp, one direction + their solo music (i'm personally a louis girl!), sabrina carpenter, etc! like i said, i'm a singer-songwriter, so i also play both acoustic and electric guitar!

i've recently gotten back into writing, so i've been doing that in my spare time just for fun! comes along with writing some more songs recently that perhaps will never see the light of day lmao but i also bought some books recently that i'm hoping to read!! ('what you are looking for is in the library' & 'before the coffee gets cold') other than that, i spend a lot of my time watching kdramas and bls! atm i'm watching lovely runner with some friends, but i started watching mr. plankton last week! i spend some of my time journaling, which is a habit (?? adhd and habits don't go well together ;-;) i've picked up in the last few months. i also bought a hobonichi planner to use bc i heard it's good - i used to bullet journal but i simply do not have the time or energy to do that these days tbh

anyway, i don't think i'll post much on here, but i wanted to post something for the first time in a while! i'll be busy studying my business units in korea next year which is crazy - for the first time i'm doing something i dreamed of doing in high school!! it hasn't set in yet, i still have so much! to do! to get it all happening (i never get a break apparently!!)

hope everyone is doing okay! i might update later on, but pls remember you don't have to know what you're doing - i have big dreams that are unrelated to my degree, and i literally had no clue what i was doing for the entirety of 2023. i promise everything is worth the time and effort, even the struggles!

thanks for reading dear studyblr, a lot has changed since i was a kid (and i still feel like a kid)