#figured im not going to try to publish it so may as well put it out there

[fluttershiesworld]

[ID: text reading:

Frequently Asked Questions:

How did you become like this? How was your childhood? Do your loved ones find you constantly grating? "Your clinician may ask to talk to family or loved ones to get complete information on the ways that your symptoms are [affecting] you. "Did you know you can lead a normal and fulfilling life? Did you know no one will ever truly love you? Do you know what compassion feels like? Do you care? How does anyone deal with you? How should I talk to you? Wow, you seem so different from everyone else who fits this arbitrary group of symptoms that I vaguely know. Why are you different? Are you special? Are you stupid? Are you human? Are you cursed? Are you monstrous? Are you possessed? Are you made of metal? Is rust eating you from the inside out? Are you a real boy? Are you a real girl? Are you raw meat? Are you beautiful? Are you an angel corrupted by pride upon seeing the shape of god? Are you an abstract painting? How can I make you what I want you to be in my singular narrative? end ID]

frequently asked questions, sunny valentine

[yc3iko]

Snowy Fonts Ranpo Edogawa x writer fem! reader

(BTW you still work in the ADA, it's just you decide to write stories based off the real crime, depending on what's going through a detectives head during a crime investigation)

As the winter fall was just beginning, many people were rushing to get the latest candies or books. One was getting lost and the other lost in words on a page.

-(Y/N)'s POV-

I decided to grab the latest book of mine to add to the collection of my very own books. I enjoyed writing the murder books of detectives thought process but reading my own work when published is very different than working on the story itself. I found my works unreadable once I had them in my hands, flipping through the pages finding every error of less detail. I got wonderful comments on my books but the very few hate comments made me shatter. I never had really good self-esteem and my writing was my escape. When someone comments hateful words to me or behind my back, I remember the nights I cried trying to figure out why my writing was not the best. My ability didn't make it any better. I may have a strong ability that lets me write about the future for only five weeks but the mental side effect wasn't the best. 'That's not going to help anyone!' 'Write a better future.' Even with the smallest mistake my brain will pinpoint it. Being in the agency helped me realise why I thought this way. My parents were the key factor. 'You're not doing your best!' 'Your gift is trash just like yourself!' The words they used are the words I use on myself.

"(Y/N) Are you lost in thought again?"

"Oh sorry Ranpo, I guess I was," I said. "Well you choose to come help me find the new winter candies but here we are having somebody's book" Ranpo said. "Oh, well I guess we can go get those candies!" I said, putting on a front to hide my hateful thoughts getting to me. "Yay! To the candy store!" Ranpo said, skipping along.

- Timeskip -

"How was the trip to the candy store Ranpo?" Kenji asked. "I enjoyed it but (Y/N) stopped at some book sale to buy their newest book," Ranpo said. "Oh that's right her newest book came out," Yosano said. This conversation was going on right in front of me. My desk was right beside Kenji's. "Good work on your writing, it was better than last time," Kunikida stated. "It truly was," Atsushi said. Atsushi was my greatest stan here. We both enjoyed books and he ended up finding out first I was a book author. "I didn't know you wrote books," Dazai said, coming over to me. "Yeah I do, but its mostly about detectives' voices inside their head and how they solve the crime," I said. "So that's why most of the time you and Ranpo have cases together," Kenji stated. "Y-yeah I guess that's right," I said. "Ms. (L/N) come here," the president called. "Coming on over," I said. "I guess I gotta go." I waved them all goodbye.

"Yes Mr. President?" I questioned. "I just wanted to say I was proud of your writing skills and how far you have come," He said. "T-thank you," I stuttered. He always would say nice things about my work, but I still never get used to it. 'He's only trying to please you.' 'They only want your ability.' My face changed from a smile to a frown. The thoughts were starting again. I guess it was noticed because the president asked "Are you alright (L/N)?" "Oh I'm fine!" I said. "I really should get back to work, anything else you needed me for?" "Yes, can you make sure Ranpo writes his report? I noticed you have only been doing the reports since you and Ranpo started working together," Fukuzawa said. "Ok," I said and left. As I was on my way, I bumped into Kyoka. "Where are you off to Kyoka," I asked. "Im off the buy your books so I can talk more with you," She said. "Aw you don't have to," I said. "No it's fine," She retorted back. "Ok have fun!" I said. Fronts were so much easier. They never really break character. They were like criminals. Also lying when really you should be telling the truth. True characters hurt people, so my front will always be there.

Once I got back to the office, I noticed that Ranpo was reading and not eating. "What is he doing?" I whispered to Atsushi. "I lended him the first book of your series, him claiming he wanted to know more about your writing," Atsushi whispered back. "Hey (Y/N) come here," Ranpo yelled at me. "Ok," I said, as I walked over. "What would you like?" I asked. "I wanted to know why this book is written about me," He said. "Excuse me?" I questioned. He knew. He was never supposed to know. "Well this first book is about the first case I solved, and the date this was published was months after I told you," Ranpo said. His eyes were opened. The prettiest emerald eyes ever. "I'm sorry, I never got your permission to create a book off it," I said. My head looking down. 'Now he hates you, how do you feel?' 'Aw, are you going to cry, crybaby?' "it's fine, I never had a book based off me before, as the greatest detective of all times I feel honoured," He said, going back to eating his food. "R-really?" I questioned. "Yes but your next book needs to be about me and yours relationship after I ask you out," Ranpo said, bluntly. "What?" Me and everyone else questioned. "You heard me, check the letter on your desk," Ranpo said, pointing to the desk. I walked up to my desk and picked up the letter. It stated:

'I hope this goes right. Will you write me like you write your books after this date I take you on?' Yes no

-Ranpo Edogawa

I checked one off and handed it back to Ranpo. He opened it and said.

'I hope this goes right. Will you write me like you write your books after this date I take you on? Yes no

'P.S Never ask someone out over a letter'

"And that is how I met your greatest father of all times," I whispered to the kids in their beds. "They truly love the story about me being the greatest detective of all times!" Ranpo laughed. "They sure do," I said back.

[gurokatt]

hey, me again. I only just noticed you got around to my ask and felt the need to follow up.

it feels like... you didn't really read it? sorry to be blunt, but given that you seemed to reply to things I outright said I wasn't accusing you of, it just feels that way.

examples above ^^^ with highlighted screenshots being things I said and non-highlighted being your replies. there are other things I could have pulled as well, but I didn't for brevity's sake.

in any case, on recent updates I've received, as well as your own addendum to your initial reply, I feel I either haven't accurately made my points clear or they were misconstrued in some way.

I don't think that you word-for-word copy and paste things into your final, published fics. I said as much the first time. but you have said on multiple occasions that you take ideas from others and paste them into your outline. I also said that this wasn't a problem in and of itself, because it's not. but when the ideas you're basing fics off of are as hyper-specific as they were, it can't really be written off as a "same common trope." those people deserved credit at the very least, and preferably to have been asked permission in thr first place before their ideas were put into your outlines. personally, I've written multiple fics for another fandom that were based on ideas from friends, or tropes I'd seen in other fics. you seem to think that this is what i and others are taking issue with, when it's not. the difference is that, according to at least one instance, you've neglected to obtain proper permission to be using these people's ideas.

I think that there's more nuance to the question of whether you are a "plagiarist" or not. I wouldn't say no, but I would say a hard yes, either, because this is a gray area.

what I think you need to do is look through your existing outlines and find the sources of the ideas you pasted in (whether by discord term searching or however else, I don't really know where else you talked about them), and then at the very least, credit those people in your fics. the people whose ideas were used should not be under an obligation to figure out which works were lifted from their ideas and reach out to you, because they aren't the ones responsible for their ideas being lifted.

any and all harassment you're receiving is unhelpful to either side of the argument and I hope it settles soon.

- anon

Hi thanks for your response.

Dyslexia and currently bad mental state have made it harder to remember what i have and haven't read. So i am sorry for the response i made before.

You're right. in conversations about people i talk to about my fic ideas i have copied/pasted their thoughts they gave to me about their ideas usually i have asked "hey can i put this onto a document" but there may have been one or two times where i did it without asking

[these have probably been when im asking people for ideas for my own fics, whether its changing scenes/backstories for SAW 3D or character stuff]

It has been so long since i worked on the outline but I should have written down whose idea is whose. I plan on going back through my outlines and fixing all of that.

I have gotten carried away. this is the first time in any fandom ive written more than 2 fics for. I have taken ideas without meaning to and then forgot where i had taken them from.

for that I am deeply sorry and apologetic. this is what i want to change and fix from now on.

I really do try to credit as well as i can for my ideas. but I obviously need to get better at it.

Out of the current wips that i have started writing. one fic is based on an rp. another fic is based on a comment i got on my puppy fic and another off of that with expansion and more angst. [notes on who these people are have now been credited for when i ever get around to writing them]

i have 15 main fic ideas.. and even more that are just concepts.

The timeloop fic i will give to my ex friend. because the original idea is his and I have been hesitant on working on it for a while.

You're right and I worded what i said horribly in the last post.

I have been talking for hours with a person about this. and I have realised what I have done. the harassment i got did no help except make me defensive and lash out.

It's only after i have gotten constructive criticism and told what i have done that I realised my mistake.

I am autistic, i dont like using mental disabilities as an excuse for what I have done. I am saying that it has been a REASON for this happening in the first place.

but i wont lie and say that i have done any of this maliciously. I have forgotten things and remembered them as if they were my own thoughts.

This is of course not an excuse, things have slipped through the cracks and I never noticed them until people pointed it out and were rightfully angry at me.

I don't know if any of my current published fics need another credit. I try to credit when i can. this includes editing and beta reading.

The ideas I have posted have largely been my own [fool me twice being a tumblr prompt my friend suggested months ago]

It turns out the majority of the fandom [and then some] do not like me, I doubt i'd ever be able to fix everything. But i want to try. I want to apologise to everyone ive hurt or made it feel like i've used them

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 50

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. "probably should have transformed before this, bit late now but- huh?" jade says, looking over at lewis who has his arm held out to catch her attention while looking down at somthing. "what is it?". more of the kitchen is shown, it's mostly bare still, aside from a now visible high shelf on the empty wall behind them, containing a few items, the most notable being a carboard box stained with blood. "ovens on. cheese sticks?" lewis replies, crouched down next to the oven, jade leaning over to see what he's looking at. "don't know word or spelling. pizza cheese" "you don't know how to spell mozzarella?" jade asks, eyebrow raised. "i may be a bit stupid" lewis replies, from off panel. the panel only shows jade's head, and the rest of the kitchen behind her, including the now open door and the shadowed figure in front of it. their body is mostly in shadow, all that can be seen is their lower half in boots, jeans, pinkish-purple shirt. the shillouette of their upper half implies pointed ears, and wavy hair, and mst notably, pink glowing eyes with slitted pupils peering out of the shadow. end id]

owo who's this?

anyway place your bets for what's up next

ooh "going to try and finish next weeks page early so there's no repeat because of this week's con!" yeah that didnt fucking happen. but here we are and heres a cliffhanger for your patience!

also as a change of pace from my recent "really want to make sac into a printed comic" rambles, i did actually make something else into a published work so i'm a published illustrator now! not just me- there were 6 of us and i specifically was one of 2 illustrators! a fun guide aimed at and created by young trans people

"A guide for trans, non-binary and gender queer people to help navigate through life and the systems around them as well as educating others on the experiences and truths of trans people. Whether you are questioning your gender identity or wondering what being trans even means, this book is for you! From accessing trans health care, being an ally exploring your identity and getting answers about who you are, this incredible guidebook will hold your hand through it all and show you the safest most accessible ways to being your true self (and supporting people in your life to do the same). In a world full of systems that can be a maze to navigate, especially as a marginalised person, we have got your back and are clearing the way for simple support."

so yeah you can get that here!!

anyway con ramble: con went better than expected at least! i mean i'm not going to that one again unless i get a dealers table, but i covered all of my costs so better than it was in birmingham febuary! i took a bunch of stuff from the hotel when i left to since i got a nicer room than i meant to which came with fancy coffee pods which i nicked and spent too long on sunday trying to give them away to people but nobody at the con had the right coffee machine if they had one

also i dont know what it is but no matter how much detail i try and put in the background it always feels too empty. i blame this mostly on my own bedroom where i am most of the time im at home. picture howls bedroom from howls moving castle but all the trinkets are all art prints, stickers, plushies, and assorted bullshit. thats where i live. also my art program keeps throwing a hissy fit if i add too many things

[tera-91]

Half-cooked thoughts part 2

So I wrote up that last rant over several days. Most of which is still right.

Pupper 1 is healing from surgery and is not being a very good patient. Taking the medication has become better once we figured out how to hide them in food. But also said pup is definitely feeling better and is trying to do things which should be done at a later stage in healing. We still need to just walk and take things slow, but this little tazmanian wants to just run and play.

The other needs a recheck. Im hoping that we having gained much weight back. Because of pup 1 I havnt been able to take pup 2 on as many walks that we probably should be going on. We had been doing so well with losing or at least maintaining weight and not gaining. But now that I have typed this, when I take the pupper in for a weight check it will be higher …

The part from the last rant that is kind of wrong has more so to do with my job. I listened to other people both family and co-workers, I tried to speak to the manager to see if we could come to a better understanding as it one put it there is mis-communication on both sides. I am in a position I absolutely hate. This manager seems to just focus on insignificant parts and talks in circles. So I might still have a job and I might not. It was clear as mud in the conversation. I wont know until the next schedule comes out and even then it sounded like it wouldn’t be back to “normal” amount of hours, just something to keep me on payroll as the manager said they have to speak to another manager.

I guess if I keep my job and we come to a little bit of a better understanding cool but if not I feel like that conversation sort of justified my leaving in the first place.

I guess on the bright side. While I hurry up and wait anyway. It will give me a little bit of distance and I can try to accomplish other things. Which would be great as I just found out it is unlikely for me to qualify for aid as I go to school to try for a better job. Im going to start the process to appeal it to get someone to give it a second look but the first year wont really be a problem for me as I don’t need many classes so the cost wont be crazy. At least I hope. I have some saved up. But when I get into the actual program, if I understand it correctly is like 10k. I’m not sure if that is total or per semester. Which if its total I may be able to do a semester or two but otherwise without somekind of financial help I wont be able to do.  So I either need this job or figure something out in the next handful of months if the appeal doesn’t pan out.

I wont be twiddling my thumbs the whole time as I wait to find out. Or at least I say that. I have lists upon lists of things that I need to do or ideas I can pursue. I need to just not procrastinate and do them.

The problem sometimes though is I don’t know if I’m actually procrastinating or if I’m just burnt out. Like sure I have a list of all the videos I can make of the current recordings I have. I also have a list of chores that need to be done around the house to keep it clean and upkeep. I have a third list of items I need to buy at the store. I could probably make a list of video ideas that I would have to write scripts for. I could also probably write a list of stories with basic info of how it should go. Plus I need to finish my book. I made a promise to someone that I would have that thing finished and published in just over a year from now.

But honestly.

Right now my brain wants to do all those things to a point of I don’t know where I want to start. To edit I need time. Which I need to wait for the pupper to be taking a nap. To write I need other projects to not be bugging my mind. To clean/upkeep I need to figure out a place to start. I am bad at time management I never know how much time something will take me. Usually how it goes is if I feel like something will take me a long time, it doesn’t. If I feel like something will take me a short time, it doesn’t. But If I think something will take a short time so I decide it will take a long time, it doesn’t, I was right the first time it doesn’t take that long.

So then I just get to a point where all I want to do is to binge watch TV shows or Youtube videos.

Well anyway. Today is a new day. I have already written almost a thousand words.

I only have one more shift before I am in limbo. At least it’s a short one so I have the rest of the day to work on things.

Maybe I can look over my lists and make a small list. Get at least one item from each list done. The weather is nice. Might get a thing or two done out there. The weather lately has made it really difficult to keep the outside from being chaotic. Right now part of the yard has been taken over by wild flowers. Normally I would really like this, to feed the various insects and animals. But these flowers are really tall ones and I know I have a snake taking up residence in that area. A good snake, but still I would like to see it for when my pups are out there so we can keep a friendly distance from each other.

[nice-kill-tanaka]

If it's not to much trouble may i have a (male) host club matchup please. Im a Capricorn, my mbti type is infj-a/infj-a. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud around people who Im close to. My pronouns are she/her. I have long-ish length brown hair, green eyes, wear round glasses and have pale skin. I have a lot of freckles. My height is 5'0 I like to read books and also cook and bake food. Im not very athletic and im not a big fan if sports but I love to go roller/ice skating. I also have been playing the violin for 6 years. And I like to garden. I also like to watch nature/animal documentaries. I love animals and in planning on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. Some things I dislike are people who bend/ruin my books and people who talk over me when I try to speak. I hope this is ok, sorry if I spelt anything wrong. I hope im not bothering you :) also I hope the information I sent in is ok :)

[🌄 @armin-ocean-eyes​ requested one (1) regular Ouran High School Host Club matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

Taurus INTJ-t here 😗✌️So,,,,hi I guess! Also, since you are two (2) inches shorter than me, I am legally obligated to adopt and protect you. I apologize if I use gender neutral pronouns for you. That’s just my default!

Anyways, I have just the guy for you:

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

🌓Kaoru Hitachiin🌓

(Please tell me this is Kaoru, gifs are stupid 😭😭😭)

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

You are the daughter of the C.E.O. of a successful publishing agency

You were no stranger to the wealthy lifestyle. But, your parents made it a point to not let you become vain, lazy, or unsympathetic to the human condition

I’m not too sure if there’s an actual term for this, but a thing I like to call “right-brained intellectualism" was emphasized in your household. Basically, the ability to classify complex human emotions and not only understand them. But, view them through the lenses of objectivity and abstract concepts (Hence, the “right-brained” part)

The goal was to instill curiosity in you to explore how different personalities act in different situations and why. This could ultimately help you guide your social interactions in the future

(Forgive me if I'm speaking over your head! This information serves a purpose I promise!)

So, essentially super-charged EQ

But, here's where it comes in handy:

Due to your reserved tendencies, you weren't that high on Ouran's social ladder. Especially in middle school. You tried your best not to pay that fact any mind, reminding yourself to always pack an extra novel in case you finished your current one during the day

But, the (sort of) benefit to having so much time on your own, was that you had plenty of time to observe the students around you. Their actions, quirks, and relationships

Two particular oddballs caught your eye

Brothers. Identical twins that seemed to want no company than that of each other

You knew they had names. You knew what they were. But, not being able to pin a name to an identical face made that fact lose meaning

They didn't have any friends (Which wasn't a hyperbole). But, neither of them seemed shy, like you were

Rather, they were the asocial types. And you saw secondhand that they went out of their way to keep their little world for only them

You had accidentally seen one day what they did to girls that dared to confess their feelings for one twin. And that only reaffirmed that trying to figure out why the Hitachiins acted the way they did was too much pressure for your meek little heart

But...still.

There weren't any surface level answers to reach for that could calm your curiosities (Other than just passing the Hitachiins off as jerks and moving on). You could tell their reasoning was much more complex

And that. Frustrated you

To ease your mind, you wanted to start off small: Learn which is Hikaru, and which is Kaoru

One day, just before the lunch period started, you had finished your current novel. But, when you reached for the extra book in your bag, it had ✨vanished✨

You panicked a bit. You knew you packed the book. You re-checked earlier in the day!

The teacher unfortunately noticed you looking around like a lost puppy, asking what was wrong

"Mm?? Oh- uh...I just lost my book. It's, y'know, it's fine! I'll just...look for it later..."

The teacher didn't pick up on how embarrassed you were, asking the class if someone wanted to help you look

You were surprised when someone actually raised their hand

And just your luck, it was one of the twins, who turned to his brother and reassured him that they'd see each other at lunch

You (lowkey paralyzed by fear) followed the Hitachiin's lead, waiting until the rest of the class had left the room to begin your search

But, as you started to sift through the shelves in the back, you felt the boy tap your shoulder

And there it was in his hand, the first edition book on botany you had gotten for your birthday not too long ago

"You...you found it already??"

He rubbed the back of his neck, more bashful than you would've pegged him for

"Kind of…? I took it during class. I thought your reaction would be funny, but it was sort of just hard to look at. It would've just been cruel to embarrass you more in front of everyone."

"Oh...well, thanks for telling me at least."

The boy raised an eyebrow, your reactions catching him off guard once more

"You're not mad?"

"Not really. You realized your mistake and that's more than some can say. So, I can forgive that."

"Hm...well, I should get going. I can't keep him waiting!"

Before he left, you called out to him, asking for his name

"Hm? Kaoru."

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The start of you and Kaoru's romantic relationship actually began in high school

The (in)famously idealistic Tamaki Suoh had approached you, Hikaru, and Kaoru to be a part of his new "host club". The twins as a part of the service, you as the manager (To garner male financial support, of course :D)

Since you weren't involved in a club anyway, you agreed to join next semester for your first year of high school

Once Haruhi came into the picture, you became fast friends. Seeing as you were both practical souls, if not intellectual

Through your friendship with Haruhi, you got closer to the twins you were so afraid of all that time ago

Especially Kaoru, the twin you had spoken to first

Both of your crushes formed rather fast as you got to know each other personally (And since Hikaru was already starting to take interest in Haruhi)

Kaoru had fallen for the way you never made face-value judgements of people. Like how you were so understanding about his dumb prank on you just last year

He learned to love the bright rays of passion that shone through your timid exterior. The way you talked about the things you loved like they were the greatest things in the world. You always made your case with such conviction, and Kaoru couldn't help but believe you all the way

You, Haruhi, Hikaru, and Kaoru were hanging out in the courtyard one day, and Kaoru had managed to get you to talk about the flora and fauna in the area (Which quickly segwayed into how you loved gardening and caring for animals)

All the while, Kaoru intently listened, staring at you like you were the only person in the world

During a pause in your avid canine classification spree, Kaoru picked up a few cornflowers that had fallen from a bush, putting them in your hair and behind your ear

While you were blushing up a storm, Kaoru bluntly, but sweetly, confessed

Hikaru and Haruhi looked on, endeared that the two sweetest souls in their little group had finally gotten together

In your relationship, you manage to draw out the more relaxed and mature side of Kaoru's personality

(Though, you always get a good laugh out of his more cunning and mischievous side)

You always affirm to him that he can enjoy both sides of being a twin, and being his own unique person. He doesn't necessarily have to choose

Kaoru definitely takes advantage of your height difference, using you as an armrest at the most inopportune times

He loves to kiss each and every one of your freckles (At least, on your face and neck). No matter what you think of them, he sees them as little targets to go for when he wants to shower you with love

But, like a respectful boy, he always lets you take off your glasses first if you need to

You guys went ice skating for your first date! Since it was your hobby, you paid for skating, and Kaoru paid for food afterwards. Kaoru knew how to skate, but pretended not to so he could have an excuse to hold your hands

Kaoru found out about your violin training later in the relationship, immediately teasing you about playing for one of the host club's sessions at some point

He has undoubtedly picked up a disturbing amount of animal facts from you and the documentaries you watch. He shares them with the host club to get disgusted reactions from them, and flattered smiles from you 😊

Y'all are just so freaking cute together, I need to chug salt to get the sweetness out of my mouth ❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[tomatograter]

do you have advice for someone who’s writing a heavily illustrated fic / pseudo-fanventure ig and has written and drawn before but not necessarily combined the two? just like in terms of a few big things it’s worth knowing or keeping in mind

Im going to start answering this as though it is a question about comics in general, then more into the specifics of the format.

Step 1: Accept that, like everything with sequential art, you'll most likely be operating at a good 60% of your drawing ability for most of the panels. This is okay. I am of the belief that this should be encouraged, and great comic artists will tell anyone who wants to hear it that not every panel is going to be the greatest panel you've ever drawn - it just has to advance the story you're telling. In a traditional format, what we usually say is "pick one panel thats meant to look good at a time where that enriches the story(or the world), and focus on making the art be useful in all the rest." Simplify!

An excess of prettitudes can sometimes work against you. It may not match the mood, the setting, the atmosphere, your work speed, your wrist health, your feasible output etc. Play with what DOES!

In the style usually associated with homestuck, this means... sprites, single shots, style changes, panels with no background at all, reusing assets, and more. I like how "Inconsistency" is the only true rule on homestuck's visual side. Put the little perfectionist critic in the back of your head to sleep and get through the not-so-gorgeous parts. You'll eventually improve and find a comfortable pace.

All the other steps: You don't actually need to mimic HS style if you don't wanna. Not even the designs. Put your spin on it. Same goes for the narrative. HS is famously verbose and text-heavy, and where it succeeds is mixing the visuals in a way they accompany the text without drowning it out. Some things you only have to see to understand, other things you only have to read about to get, and there's rarely a repetition, because in the final context's perspective both count as equal pieces of the main text.

Figure out what can be conveyed in visuals and what can be conveyed through words, and what subtleties arise when you mix the two. Dont underestimate your audience for the sake of explaining EVERYTHING that is going on at all times inside and outside a characters head as well as around the world. If someone makes a sad face we know they're sad. If we've seen why they're sad, we don't have to say it again, but if it can perhaps be enhanced by providing a further context and depth through words- then perhaps you should do that. ("Vriska steps on 8 balls. She does this often since there's lots of cracked ones around the house. We can see this. We know she associates this with addiction and a strike of bad luck because she says so, however")

If you don't want to write a novel, but want to write pesterlogs, you don't need to write a novel! Make the narration short and sweet to the point it is simply useful and let the panels and conversations do the rest. Similarly, you dont want to write big meandering and long-winded convos? You can switch up the style and make it a little bit more prose-based with visuals to enhance it. Don't want to draw a lot? Invest in the prose+dialog and let your illustrations come in at key moments instead of driving the whole car. As long as you balance out the three things to make up for where you believe you're lacking the most prowess, it'll be fine. Experiment.

Most of homestuck is a result of improvisation, so while i cant say "you NEED to know where your story is going/how it will end before starting it" having a vague idea of how big you want it to be, where it might finish, and a realistic estimation of how much work it will take to get there is great for when your creativity and drive is running low. Having main story beats written down and a general concept for what the chapter, the arc, or the whole is meant to convey is very helpful in the case you get... stuck. You dont need to make it a 100 chapter epic if an oneshot or 3-parter suffices. Have fun. Put some things that are meant to be jokes and gifts to yourself. You also dont NEED to include the entire extended cast and a gaggle of extras if you don't want to. Ive seen a number of fanventures pop up and then be promptly abandoned because they got too expansive too quickly, and the author lost interest in the broad scope of it. Focus on what you want to write and draw about. If you can do that well, someone's guaranteed to like it, and that's better than trying to please everybody.

Also, while it might look effortless, doing this kind of narrative takes time. Even if you cut corners! It doesn't look finished until you put it all together, and sometimes you'll still be editing right before you publish so the text goes better with the pictures or the pictures go better with the words. "Being frustrated with the process" is unfortunately a reality for comics. This is why I'm always annoying about the 'put in things you think are fun' bit. Learning patience goes a long way.

Also, self-advertise. Shamelessly.

[atlascas]

DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier. 

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good. 

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written 

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more. 

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end. 

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute 

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me. 

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

[junker-town]

Western Illinois, Year 40, 2046-2047

The final season of our sim dynasty with Western Illinois in College Hoops 2K8 is here.

Welcome back to our simulated dynasty with the Western Illinois Leathernecks in College Hoops 2K8. You can find a full explanation of this project + spoiler-free links to previous seasons here. Check out the introduction to this series from early April 2020 for full context. As a reminder, we simulate every game in this series and only control the recruiting and coaching strategies. Dynasty mode runs for 40 years.

Before we pick up with the Leathernecks at the start of Year 40, here’s a recap of everything that happened last season:

Western Illinois entered Year 39 trying to three-peat as national champions for the first time in program history. We lost two starters early to the NBA coming into the season, but still had enough talent to be ranked No. 10 overall in the preseason polls.

We ran through the regular season schedule, losing only one game to UCLA during the non-conference season and sweeping Summit League opponents once again. We entered the NCAA tournament at 29-1 on the year and earned a No. 4 seed to the big dance.

We beat Brown in round one, knocked off Georgia Tech in the round of 32, beat Indiana in the Sweet 16, and lost to Florida in the Elite Eight. We know enter the final season of my career tied with John Wooden with 10 national championships.

We added three players in our last ever recruiting class: five-star JUCO SF Jerald Obasohan, four-star SG Erwin Walls, and four-star PF Kenny Butler.

Here’s a first look at our roster for Year 40:

It feels like only yesterday that a fresh-faced, 25-year-old came to the small town of Macomb, Illinois with big dreams. Coach Rick was hired by Western Illinois to do the impossible: win a national championship with arguably the worst team in college basketball. After 39 seasons at the helm, our tiny program has accomplished that and so much more. Now it’s time to hang it up.

Our journey at Western Illinois is finally coming to an end. In literal terms, College Hoops 2K8 forces mandatory retirement upon coaches in dynasty mode after 40 seasons. All good stories need closure either way. As we start our final season, we have some big stakes attached to our swan song.

Western Illinois has won 10 national championships in the Ricky Charisma era. That ties us with UCLA legend John Wooden for the most in history. What started as a mission to win a single national championship has now left us with a different goal: to become the undisputed greatest program in the history of the sport.

While we failed in our bid to three-peat last season — falling to Florida in the Elite Eight — we did bring back all four breakout juniors for this season. We only lost starting center DJ Foster to graduation. Yeah, it’s been a while since we last published Year 39 (thanks for your patience), so let’s go over the roster:

PG Christano Ngounou, junior, 89 overall: Ngounou made major strides after being forced into the starting lineup last season, and now looks like a rock solid contributor going into our final year. An international recruit out of Cameroon, Ngounou is a fast 6’3 guard with lockdown defensive ability and a slightly above average three-point shot. We have bigger names on this squad who will be expected to carry the scoring load, but Ngounou is going to play a huge role because he’s way better than every other point guard on the roster. We need quality minutes from him in the tournament. Former five-star international recruit with B potential.

SG Bernie Doyle, redshirt senior, 92 overall: Doyle is an incredible talent who enters his senior year looking to fully blossom into a superstar. The 6’9 shooting guard uses his immense size on both ends of the floor. He’s elite at getting into the passing lanes and forcing steals (a team-high 1.8 per game as a junior) on the defensive end, and has a sweet three-point stroke offensively. Doyle is such a smooth scorer and dominant defender that it feels like he has the natural talent to develop into an all-great in his senior year. Let’s hope he’s up to the challenge. Former No. 36 overall recruit from Detroit with C potential. Projected lottery pick.

SF Floyd Keller, redshirt senior, 92 overall: Keller checks every box for a small forward. He has good size at 6’7. He has a three-point rating in the mid-80s. He’s the best dunker on the team. He’s an elite offensive rebounder for a wing with a rating in the low 90s, which helps equip him to play minutes at the four. After a tough shooting night in our Elite Eight loss last season — he went 1-for-7 from three — we’ll need Keller to be consistently great if we want one more run through the bracket. Former No. 101 overall recruit out of Dallas with C+ potential. Projected second round pick.

PF Oscar Fray, redshirt senior, 88 overall: Fray enters his third year as a starter with a fascinating combination of size and skill that could set him up for a breakout senior year. The 7-foot power forward is a great three-point shooter for his position with a rating just below 80. Defensively, he’s the top-rated shot blocker on the team, and also does a pretty good job on the glass. Former No. 118 overall recruit out of Lynn, MA with C potential. Projected second round pick.

C Brody Munoz, redshirt senior, 92 overall: Munoz finally gets the spotlight as a senior after backing up DJ Foster — a one-time NCAA tournament Most Outstanding Player — for his entire career up to this point. We’re expected big things, and not just because he’s tied for the highest rated player on the roster going into the regular season. What Munoz lacks in elite size at 6’11 he can make up for with strength, agility, and rebounding. We expect him to be really good at forcing turnovers, grabbing putbacks, and helping fortify the paint. Former No. 169 overall recruit (No. 6 center) out of Nashville with B potential. Projected lottery pick.

We have an incredibly deep bench for our final season. Center Logan Polk (85 overall) will be our sixth man, and should be able to form a three-man front court rotation with the two starters in the tournament. After that, we have a lot of options but not a lot of good options.

Here’s the rest of the bench: wing Jaycee Queen (80 overall), wing Jerald Obasohan (79 overall), guard Archie Howell (78 overall), wing/guard James Haranga (74 overall), guard Edwin Walls (74 overall), and power forward Kenny Butler (74 overall).

This is really it. Year 40. The last dance. What a ride it has been. We start the season at No. 4 in the polls.

How did the regular season go?

For our final regular season, we tried to schedule a good mix of local schools and historic big conference rivals with a couple in-season tournaments thrown in for good measure.

Here’s how the regular season went:

Win over Bradley

Win over Nebraska

Win over UTEP

Loss to Southern Illinois

Win over Florida

Loss to Northwestern

Win over New Mexico

Win over DePaul

That sets up a rivalry game against Illinois. We’ve played the Illini in almost every season, and we don’t want to end this dynasty without one more dub. The losses to Southern Illinois and Northwestern were a real bummer, and we need a palate cleanser. Let’s go!

Big win, 102-68. Look at Cristano Ngounou hanging 17 points and six assists on the Illini. Love seeing both starters in the front court — seniors Oscar Fray (13 points, 10 rebounds) and Brody Munoz (18 points, 11 rebounds) — each dropping a double-double, too. And how about our new five-star JUCO addition Obasohan chipping in 12 points off the bench? Really promising performance from the boys.

We get a big win over Kansas in our next game. That sets up another marquee game with a program we don’t like very much out of the state of North Carolina: Duke. We’ve battling with Duke on the court and on the recruiting trail for 40 freaking years. Can we end this rivalry with a dub?

Ugh, loss, 88-83. Nice games from Bernie Doyle (19 points, four assists) and Oscar Fray (14 points, 12 rebounds), but it isn’t enough. That’s our third loss of the season. Get bent, Duke.

We end the year with three more non-conference games.

Win over Illinois-Chicago

Win over American

Win over Arizona State

While we may have lost the final battle to Duke, I won the war over Coach K with a significantly better career by any measure (more on that in a minute). Now it’s time to jump into conference play in the Summit League.

Did we go undefeated in conference season?

Yes we did, another perfect 18-0 stretch.

Now we enter the conference tournament. Can we punch one more automatic bid to the NCAA tournament?

Win over UMKC

Win over Southern Utah

Win over UL-Calcutta

We’re going to the NCAA tournament for the last time, but that isn’t even the headliner after winning the Summit League. Im taking home the conference tournament championship, I won game No. 1,171 of my career. That currently puts me ahead of Coach K for the most wins all-time.

We have built a great legacy at Western Illinois. Before we enter the NCAA tournament, let’s take a look at our statistical leaders:

What a year for Munoz. Dude sat on the bench for four seasons before finally getting a starting spot, and all he did was lead our team in scoring at 17.2 points per game. Fray was awesome, too, averaging a hair under 15 points per game while chipping in nearly two blocks and six rebounds per game. It’s good to see Keller and Doyle both hit double-figures in scoring. I’m a bit surprised Cristano couldn’t even put up seven points a night after his big game against Illinois, but the assist and steals numbers are solid. We’re going to need him in March.

The Leathernecks are heading into the NCAA tournament at 32-3 on the year. I can’t wait to see what seed we get.

2047 NCAA tournament

Well, we couldn’t end this dynasty without getting swindled by the Selection Committee one more time. We’re a No. 6 seed in the NCAA tournament. I thought we should have been a top-four seed without question.

We’ll open the tournament with a game against No. 11 seed Syracuse. Sheesh. Before we get to the game, let’s check in on our roster one more time:

I’m loving the way this group progressed through the year. We have two awesome wing scorers with an elite combination of size and shooting in Keller and Doyle. We have plenty of beef up front with Munoz, Fray, and Polk. Ngounou entered the program as a 77 overall and shot up to a 92 in three years without a redshirt. The bench also really improved during the season and should give us plenty of different lineup options in March.

This is going to be a tough run, starting with Syracuse. The Orange have knocked us out of the big dance before, and consistently put together really strong teams.

Our last dance starts now. As always, we’re simulating every game, I’m not controlling the ‘Necks.

Let’s go!

Win, 105-73! What an absolute beatdown. We’ve moving on to the round of 32.

Long-time followers of the series will know that our Leathernecks have always been known as a second half team. It happened in a big way in this game. Syracuse ended the first half strong to cut our lead to nine points, but we quickly turned it into a blowout out of the break.

I thought this was a tremendous all-around team effort. Six players hit double-figures in scoring with no one putting up more than Floyd Keller’s 15 points. Everyone who played recorded an assist. I loved this play from the first half when we set two screens for our five-star JUCO Obasohan that helped get him an easy layup.

Our bench is a big question mark coming into this tournament, mostly because it’s filled with a lot of fresh faces who haven’t played big minutes in clutch spots before. I have to say, the performance of our reserves in our tournament opener was super encouraging. Obasohan in particular looks like a keeper after scoring 10 points on 4-of-5 shooting and knocking down a three. We always need wing depth, and he should be able to provide that on this run.

The clear highlight of Obasohan’s night: this sick two-handed dunk in transition for an and-one.

We love to turn defense into offense, and Ngounou and Doyle’s ability to get into the passing lanes really helps us out there.

Speaking of Ngounou in transition: he had a beautiful finish on the break to put the game fully out of reach. That’s what you want out of your point guard.

The win sets up a second round game against Colorado State

The Rams have been a solid program throughout this sim dynasty, regularly making NCAA tournament appearances. We have a decisive edge in talent heading into this game.

We are one win away from going to the Sweet 16 and extended our run in the big dance. One time, ‘Necks. Let’s go!

Win, 109-79! We’re going to the Sweet 16!

We didn’t need to be a second half team in this one. Our ‘Necks blew the doors off Colorado State from the opening tip-off. I thought we played a great game offensively thanks to our inside-out ball movement.

We had five scorers in double-figures in this one, but it was senior starters Bernie Doyle and Oscar Fray leading the charge. We know Doyle is capable of taking over a game at his best, and he was awesome in this one: 20 points on 7-of-13 shooting from the field and 4-of-6 shooting from three. The real story was Fray, though.

Fray was probably the least appealing long-term prospect of our recruiting class when he entered the program alongside Doyle, Keller, and Munoz. That was mostly because of his 74 rating and C potential grade. While he’s always been rated a few points lower than his classmates, Fray’s skill set on the court is so important to us. He’s a massive 7-foot power forward who can protect the rim and shoot threes. What more do you want?

Fray went off in this game: 22 points, eight rebounds, two assists, two steals on 9-of-11 shooting. I love watching the big man shoot from deep. This was from NBA range.

Here’s one more catch-and-shoot three for good measure.

Fray might get slept on a little on this team, but he’s absolutely critical to our success if we want to win it all.

I also want to shout-out the bench for another solid performance. I liked what I saw out of Obasohan (11 points) and Howell (10 points). Since we already have two Obasohan clips in this post, why not make it three? Love him hitting this triple in the first half to help us open up the lead.

We’re rollin’.

The win sets up a Sweet 16 game vs. Alabama

We’re now four wins away from ending this dynasty with a national championship. A Sweet 16 game against Bama is going to be an absolute battle.

In our simulated future, the Tide have become a basketball school. This program seems to make the tournament every year, and they’ve given us plenty of trouble in the past.

A trip to the Elite Eight is on the line. Let’s go!

Win, 112-69! We’re onto the Elite Eight!

Say it with me: SECOND. HALF. TEAM. After a tight first half left us with a six-point lead coming into the break, our ‘Necks absolutely torched the nets in the second half to come away with the blowout win. Seriously: we scored 66 points in the final 20 minutes. That was an offensive clinic at its best.

I had a good feeling about the second half when Cristano got this three hit the rim like 50 times before falling. Sometimes you need some good luck on your side.

A couple possessions later, Floyd Keller came down a ripped another three. We finally had a double-digit lead, and we’d never look back.

It was great to see Keller (15 points) get going from deep. He hit all three of his attempts from beyond the arc.

While we don’t have any clips of the front court from this game, they absolutely deserve credit for the win.

Fray turned in another incredible performance, this one somehow even better than his last. He ended the game with 25 points, 14 rebounds, four assists, three steals, and three blocks on 10-of015 shooting. He didn’t attempt a three (booooo) but he dominated the game on both ends. His front court mate Munoz was almost as good. The senior center finished with 20 points and 16 rebounds. We kept going inside — Munoz and Fray combined for 35 (!) field goal attempts — and they were making the Bama defense pay.

Not the best Bernie Buckets game (9 points on 3-of-10 shooting), but I clipped this shot from the first half, so I might as well embed it here.

Elite Eight, here we come.

The win sets up an Elite Eight matchup against No. 1 seed Indiana

Our run in the NCAA tournament has been a breeze up to this point, but I fear things about to get a lot more difficult. Our plucky No. 6 seed is about to run into one of college basketball’s blue bloods: the top-seeded Indiana Hoosiers.

The Elite Eight has been something of a bugaboo for us. We lost in this round last year. We’ve lost in this round many times before. I don’t want it to happen again.

A Final Four trip is on the line. As always, we’re watching a simulated version of this game; I am not controlling the Leathernecks. Let’s go!

***

***

***

***

***

***

Loss, 96-86. Oh my gosh. And just like that, our dream of ending this dynasty with a national title is over.

I am devastated. I really thought this team was good enough to send me out on top, but it wasn’t meant to be. The Hoosiers’ outside shooters did us in. Indiana’s guard-heavy lineup caught fire from deep (10-of-21 for 47.6 percent), and our perimeter attack couldn’t keep up. We only hit 6-of-22 (27.3 percent) attempts from three.

What happened to our second half team this time? We were only down two going into halftime, but we were outscored by eight over the final 20 minutes. Tough scene.

There were some solid individual performances. Munoz went out strong with 23 points and 10 rebounds. Bernie Doyle dropped 21 points and hit this three-pointer to keep us in it early.

Floyd Keller just didn’t give us enough on the wing. He shot 1-of-8 from three in the loss. He did give us a little juice in transition, at least.

Cristano played all 40 minutes, and had eight points and nine assists. I really wish I got another year with him as a senior next season.

Unfortunately there is no next season. After 40 years at Western Illinois, our sim dynasty is over. Here are some final numbers on the series:

Final record: 1,177-213

10 national championships (tied with John Wooden for the most in men’s college basketball history)

15 Final Four appearances

25 Sweet 16 appearances

Final NCAA tournament record: 113-27

38 Summit League regular season championships

35 Summit League tournament championships

38 seasons with 20+ wins

61 players drafted

The thing I’m most proud of? After we made the NCAA tournament for the first time in Year 3, we didn’t miss it again the rest of this dynasty.

Is Ricky Charisma the greatest men’s college basketball coach ever?

I think so. Here’s how we stack up to other top coaches in NCAA history in important categories.

Total wins

Ricky Charisma: 1,179

Mike Krzyzewski: 1,170

Jim Boeheim: 1,083

Roy Williams: 903

Bob Knight: 899

Dean Smith: 879

Jim Calhoun: 877

Adolph Rupp: 876

Bob Huggins: 828

Eddie Sutton: 806

Tournament wins

Ricky Charisma: 110

Mike Krzyzewski: 94

Roy Williams: 77

Dean Smith: 65

Jim Boeheim: 57

Tom Izzo: 52

Jim Calhoun: 49

John Wooden: 47

Final Four appearances

Ricky Charisma: 15

Mike Krzyzewski: 12

John Wooden: 12

Dean Smith: 11

Roy Williams: 9

Tom Izzo: 8

Rick Pitino: 7

Denny Crum, Adolph Rupp, John Calipari: 6

Consecutive tournament appearances

Western Illinois: 36

Kansas: 31

North Carolina: 27

Arizona: 25

Duke: 24

Michigan State: 23

Gonzaga: 22

Winning percentage

Ricky Charisma: 84.7

Mark Few: 83.44

Sam Burton: 83.33

Clair Bee: 82.444

Adolph Rupp: 82.1

John Wooden: 80.3

National championships

Ricky Charisma: 10

John Wooden: 10

Mike Krzyzewski: 5

Adolph Rupp: 4

Roy Williams: 3

Jim Calhoun: 3

Bobby Knight: 3

Who is the best player in Western Illinois history?

That’s the big question within the fanbase right now. Before we get to it, let’s look back at our greatest recruiting wins.

We landed five five-star recruits out of the domestic high school ranks during my time at Western Illinois. We also signed nine five-star JUCO recruits, and six five-star international recruits from places like New Zealand (shout-out Dave French), Montenegro (anti shout-out Vitor Andrisevic), France (what up, Kim Kone!), and Cameroon.

The highest-rated recruit in program history was Sammy Yan at No. 10 overall in 2032. He was pretty much a disappointment. The program’s all-time leading scorer was center Vinnie Harmon with 2,452 career points during his career. He was the No. 122 overall recruit and the No. 8 center (those that followed the series or played the game know that centers are always weirded underrated on the recruiting trail).

Here are some more numbers during tournament games only (aka, the games we streamed), from the amazing Leathernecks Database maintained by our fans:

The highest rated player in program history is a tie between small forward Nic Cummings and point guard Duncan Martinez, who are the only players to reach 97 overall. Cummings in particular is a great choice for the GOAT. He ended his career with three national titles, though only one as a starter. He’s top-10 for me, but not No. 1.

The people’s choice for the GOAT is Deke Van, the legendary center who helped carry us to our first national title in Year 8. Deke’s turn from from Year 7 goat to Year 8 GOAT is the most memorable we’ve ever had. We couldn’t have done any of this without you, Deke.

When Coach tell you youre guarding @deke_van https://t.co/RDhmDAPRA8 pic.twitter.com/fm2udgvMZT

— Ryan Thomas (@RTtheSID) May 10, 2020

As the series went on, other great players emerged who finished with gaudier stats and better resumes.

My personal favorite might be Bert Draughan, Mr. Basketball out of Chicago (No. 29 overall recruit), who went on to win a title with us in Year 13 and also starred for our Year 11 team that began the season 35-0 before losing to Michigan State in the Final Four. Harmon is another fine choice. Skip Clemmons helped us win three national titles in Year 23, Year 24, and Year 26. Albert Jagla, Clemmons’ former teammate, played a big role in our first back-to-back championship squad, and is arguably the greatest perimeter bucket-getter in program history.

All-time favorite moment? Impossible to say. The first one that comes to mind is Kim Kone’s go-ahead corner three in the 2024 tournament. Najeeb Goode’s steal vs. UCLA in the Final Four to help us win our second title in Year 13 also stands out. There was also the time superstar power forward Allen Cunningham took off his pants mid-game.

Thank you to everyone who read, watched, and interacted

I started this series on April 11, 2020, a few weeks after the pandemic had shut down all ‘real’ sports. At the time, I was gearing up to cover the 2020 NCAA tournament. That never happened. I had college basketball on my mind, and I always wanted to write something on ‘College Hoops 2K8’, probably my favorite video game ever. This project is what came of it.

I had no idea if anyone was going to read this. I definitely did not think I’d finish out all 40 years like a complete lunatic. I didn’t think I’d write the equivalent of multiple books in terms of total word count.

Just before I dropped the first post in the series, I tweeted this:

Got a real dumb blog post coming

— Ricky O'Donnell (@SBN_Ricky) April 11, 2020

I wrote around 70 posts in the series, counting the inaugural Hall of Fame induction (read a big Deke Van retrospective at that link) and two posts of my Deke Van x Seattle Supersonics spin-off. I’m estimating I wrote 200,000 words in this series. That’s about the length of “The Fellowship of the Ring.”

I still can’t believe everything that came from this series. The Washington Post wrote a profile on it. I went on WGN TV and did a few radio spots promoting it. We sold a Deke Van t-shirt with Homefield Apparel. Our series inspired a new friend in Japan named Thanh Nguyen to write a pair of e-books adding greater depth to our story. Friend of the program Mike Rutherford did an amazing hype video for our first championship run. When I moved the series to Substack for a few months, more than 7,000 people signed up for email updates and still remain. Our first Twitch stream for the Year 8 Final Four drew more than 7,000 total viewers, and had 2,500 concurrent viewers on it at as we were closing out the win. On SB Nation, the series has been viewed more than 500K times.

What really made the project special was always the community around it. Some quick shout-outs:

The Leathernecks Database is an amazing companion to this series. You can lost in there. Thank you to the diehards to helped maintain it, and reader Evan for starting it.

Thanks to my guy who started the Leathernecks Nation instagram fan page and whoever is behind the wondrous fake Deke Van twitter account.

Thanks to everyone in the Discord who maintained ‘Necks discussion always and forever.

Thank the diehards that came out for every Twitch stream. I don’t want to name names because I’ll forget someone, but you know who you are. I love you all. I also want to thank the readers for keeping up with the recaps, and everyone who emailed me feedback throughout the series. I also want to thank my buddy Scott for introducing me to the game and running through multiple 40-year dynasties with me way before I ever considered blogging through it like this. This series would not exist without him.

What a ride it’s been. As I sim through to the end of the calendar, I’m greeted with this message.

Thank you, everyone. Go ‘Necks.

[p1nkwitch]

Even though it's still ongoing some director cut funfacts about lost prince fantasy au? 👀

(I have finally some free time tonight so hopefully I will catch up with it and some other fic of yours)

Ohh hopefully i get to see your comments on some of the new stories then.

Mm, ok, funfacts without spoilers.

Again, i planned the end first so i have a fairly good idea of where im headed, there is a possible bad ending however unlike the Heart Machinations one.

Originally i pictured the story with Jonah instead of Elias due to a plot point at the end. But i ended up scrapping it, because i figured another way to go at it instead, that would also work.

I have a chapter in the freezer waiting to be put out, unfortunately its like the biggest spoiler and i have to put it almost at the end, which is ironic because its literally my favourite one from someone elses perspective that is not Peter or Elias. Its the actual backbone of the story in a way, without it there is no plot. Unfortunately i need to wait or else i would ruin a surprise.

I wrote i think the first 8 chapters in like 3 days. Because i originally wanted to write the entire thing in one go and publish it all in one day. Just dump the entire thing one night like nothing and wait in the morning for the chaos.

Its not the first time i have wanted to do that. It wont be the last, i just find the idea o writing a long story and just randomly drop the entire thing without explanation hilarious for some reason. I dont do it because i will get so very little comments that the effort would be for nothing. But honestly? One day i might just do it for the hell of it. My brand of chaos is weird i know.

I started this before the ending of Tma and i had a plan for something that was happening in the background. But due to my now anger at a certain character actions that happened there i decided to change it, i mentioned in one of the end notes in a chapter i think that i was going to change a few ships in the background due to it. It doesnt involve Peter/Elias, but i was going to play the story in a different manner.

Im considering doing something evil, but again its fueled by my own frustration with the ending. I will see if i end up doing it or not, maybe i calm down by then.

I briefly considered to keep the story more or less a paralell to Heart Machinations, since as i said Elias was doing his own prince Au thing. But it wouldnt be sustainable in the long run if i wanted to explore some different characters and relationships. So this is an Au based on the idea, but not connected. Sorry if that dissapoints, but i would have caged myself if it kept it like that. I did however use characters from there, like Titania and Missy, plus a few relationships. I will make more nods to that in the story of course in future chapters.

Mm, what else. Oh, well i have decided to let them be soft and fall into all the typical romance tropes, because in my head, they are living a fantasy romance with the ocasional horror. Thats why im leaning more into them being idiots and soft. Also i really love the sharing the bed trope so much while they are both dumb and dont realize they are catching feelings.

Speaking of wich!! Something you point out that i find funny is that Peter realized it first this time. Here is the thing, i find there is a difference between having a crush and realizing you are in love with someone.

Peter can have a crush but not be in love. Yet.

Same with Elias who admits to find him atractive, neither think its love, but rather regular atraction. When they do figure out that its love, oh boy.

Peter will be the slow one in that scenario i assure you. Again i already have planned the scene for Elias a while now, thats why i want to move the plot forwards now, but i got stuck in the chapter im writing cause i need several things to happen in quick sucession, however i cant think of how to put it.

mmm favourite scene to write was Peter alone in the ship. Him just slowly losing time and becoming isolated due the magic and curse? Plus the Sirens trying to catch him with promises of Elias? Cheff kiss.

Also i really, really wanted to make the sex dungeon joke. It was the best shot i had for that.

Ah! Elias staying with Annabelle was going to be a little bit more fucked up, with the whole spiders and mind control, but since i decided this world was not going to be that dark, i simplified it. If heart Machinations was inspired by portal, Prince Au was inspired by tangled. Both with their own doses of horror included per Tma normal rules.

The chapter with Simon explains actually a lot of things that i have left vague across the fic, no one pointed out the actual conection, but its ok, i think it will be funny when i actually go and say what the deal it.

The curse and the prophecy. With the first i had to struggle to think of what exactly were the used words for it, since as established the Fairies words are law. Once i figured the why’s and the how, it bacame obvious the way things would progress. Its.. not hard to break, but also not as simple as you may think. There is a reason why the Lukas never managed in 200 years.

The prophecy on the other hand, oh boy, thats fun. The non spoiler way to describe this is that i wanted to do a joke, but somehow everyone managed to miss the punchline. Now i realize it might have been my own fault for playing the long game, but honestly? Im just looking at my screen waiting to actually explain it and see everyone be like OH MY GOD IT WAS THAT SIMPLE???

I think thats like everything ii can think of now? Like if you have an actual thing you would like me to clarifie send another ask. I have fun explaining stuff. Unfortunately i cant go deeper than with the other stories since i would spoil the plot but yeah!! I hope this was good enough?

Again sorry if i go in tangents, i have thoughts about what im writing and im very clumsy with how to say it.

[herrashmoo]

secondly, im not a tumblr teen. ive been on this website for god knows how long and ive been well versed in queer history. me calling them a pedophile, after a conversation with them resulted in them refusing to admit sexual imagery is not for children, them calling me a bootlicker and several other names, before getting wildly upset and blocking me, had nothing to do with their sexuality and everything to do with the fact that they couldnt tell me sexual imagery is not a thing for minors to consume period end of story. this is AFTER the fact i had been a bit more educated about pride and had ALREADY agreed where i went wrong. now about the sanitization of pride- thats wrong as well. dont get me wrong. but you cant seriously look me in the face and tell me that sexual imagery is not for minors. like- just that statement alone, right? so how is this such a controversy?

ugh okay I guess I’m gonna write A Thing. I’ll get into a proper response to your final questions but first, let’s do some context work.

first thing to make clear is that I know Jux irl, and I also want to make it pretty clear that they and I have pretty similar opinions here, I’m just slightly more likely to put my anger aside to reply to stuff. Do not get it twisted, rhetoric like the kind you were/are using is like, a big red flag for me, it’s the kind of shit reactionaries have been using for eons and like, were I in a less chill mood, I would’ve also likely written you off as a bootlicker troll. Their response was pretty aggressive but not completely misplaced, so I just want to make it clear that like, as another queer dude who is tired of seeing this shit every fucking May for the better part of a decade, I’m also exhausted and pissed off.

As for my claim of teenagerdom, I apologize if that offended, but you have to understand that, generally speaking, the loudest groups having this conversation on the regular are (1) right-wing reactionaries, TERFs, and their ilk trying to stir shit up (see: Operation Pridefall) and (2) young people who don’t have any context for Pride, often haven’t been, and only really have queer politic and history from tumblr and twitter threads featuring reactionary revisionism from the first group. When I see people engage in this conversation, I generally assume they’re in the latter group, as it helps me try to frame my responses in the best faith I can given how tired I am of this shit.

But that aside, sure. Kink isn’t for children. But provided there’s a parent accompanying this hypothetical child at Pride, their job is to explain and provide context for the things they can, and give a solid “you’ll learn more when you’re older” for the things they can’t. The Village People are all each in different kink gear, and as a kid I was told “they like to dress up, and there’s some costumes specifically for adults,” and I was good. I saw bare titties at festivals, smelled weed at concerts, saw bulge at the beach — these are normal human things that happen in the world, and having a responsible adult nearby to explain or provide context for them made them non-issues for me. I don’t think a kid seeing a pup hood is thinking anything more than “oh cool, that dude is dressed up as a dog.” Kids understand fantasy and make-believe. And especially as they age into their teenage years, withholding or sheltering them from knowledge about sex and sexuality can do real damage — hell, we’ve been having that conversation for over a century at least.

(Spring’s Awakening was first published in 1891 and was deeply censored in productions for the better part of a century, due to the content of the work, which is about how sheltering young teens (both straight and queer) from sexual content (and also mental health resources) leads them to try to figure shit out on their own and make catastrophic decisions that they don’t understand the consequences of until it’s too late. Great play, pretty great musical adaptation, wild that we keep rehashing its points like clockwork over a century after publication.)

But I am also of the opinion that Pride isn’t for children, as, while two decades of assimilationist politic would desperately try to argue otherwise, I am queer because I am sexually attracted to, and have sex with, other men. Pride is a response to the criminalization of queer sex acts, and so it is, in turn, a celebration of queer sex acts. So if someone wants to walk around in chaps and a jock, great! If someone wants to wear their pup gear or a harness or a rope tie or a vest, fuck yeah! It’s a space specially carved out for celebrating the queer experience — the original Pride flag (before it was simplified to make it easier to mass produce for profit, which, again, love seeing our culture made into product) had a pink stripe at the very top, specifically representing sexuality. It is, ostensibly, the thing that defines our community (at least the L G and B parts of it) as an outgroup against the mainstream society.

I think that, if you are uncomfortable with kink displays, or you’re uncomfortable with children seeing kink displays, then Pride is not for you or your children! Don’t go! There’s kid-friendly and sanitized versions of Pride in most major cities, do some research into your local/state Stonewall organizations and you can find more about them. But I’m already sick of having actual cops at Pride, I don’t need people who are uncomfortable with displays of sexuality also policing myself or any other queer person in a space they have spent decades carving out for themselves.

A final note — if you don’t understand why a queer person would blow up and completely write off your bullshit after calling them a pedophile, I urge you to do more reading, more listening. I know that in this brave new world of same-sex marriage equality and PrEP access that it’s hard to remember the collective trauma that the community has experienced, but this shit is inflammatory, you’re straight up spewing fightin’ words. The dude wearing a leather harness at Pride isn’t trying to corrupt any youth or fuck any kids, they’re just trying to live their shit, and I’m sorry that you and so many others have somehow decided that that’s an attack on a demographic of people who aren’t the audience for a celebration of sexuality. We’re not fucking pedophiles, and this “think about the kids” nonsense is some Reagan-era bullshit.

[chaoticpuff17]

okay so I've been absent trying to figure this out... i want to try and do most to least kids for ADG universe based on who's stories we have and that there are 7 couples and 21 kids also meow its cat anon as not anonymous 😻

confirmed that Tae will have twins and yoongi and joon have one kid each thus far....in my heart i feel like yoongi may only have another baby but they will also kinda be an oopsie baby but more of if you don't get pregnant whatever if you do hell yeah approach... Namjoon i feel like unless they have surprises like multiples i feel like he's the type of man to have 3 kids... if you average out the kids it's 3 per couple but tae has the most and so far 2 via twins that will be unveiled later so the 3 per family will not be accurate......

1. Tae (7) going off your replies i think he'd have the twins and three more singles and another set of twins...

2. Joon (3/4) i really think 3 but i could also imagine MC 'having an attitude' (grow up nj) where he retaliated by getting her pregnant i certainly wouldn't put it past him👀 also maybe he would want to have the most as like a macho mob leader move but MC would castrate him at that point and honestly good for her

3. Hobi (3) I feel like hobi would want to have a lot but I think MC would also try and castrate him on behalf of her sister

4. TBD (3/2) leaving room to accommodate how namjoon is feeling im guessing jk will fall here jungkook seems like he'd have more than jimin who I feel would have 2 at most but I could be wrong

5. Yoongi (2) take or leave it vibes with him

6. (1/2) JM

7. Jin (1) just because of her previous health concerns idk if he'd want to push it

tho 7(TH) 3(NJ) 3(HS) 2(YG) 2(JK) 2(JM) 1(Jin) that puts me at 20 babies with wiggle room for joon who i would anticipate needing it orrrrr hmm maybe jk i could see him going for 3 as well...or joon 4 hobi 2 which would let jk have 3...🤔 or tae could have 5 which I think is more likely but he's sadistic so I made it 7 if he is closer to 5 that gives more wiggle room to the others ahhh idk idk

lmao I've been playing this through in my head so much it would be fun if we could make like a fantasy league but like guessing how many kids they'll have in this AU

i hope this is fun and engaging for you and also if im being a spoiler mcspoil pants feel free to not publish the ask i raised hell over the cat and MCs first baby lololol i read along and I'll pause, point at my phone and say to my cats "now see this here kitty boys, this is what the fbi calls.. a clue"🔍😻🔍😻🕵️‍♂️(that's us observing lmao) and then i get excited and read the rest really fast to sprint to your inbox😹

🧡😻🧡💖🧡💖🧡💖🧡💖

Cat anon (who has come to me not on anon)

I will say your sleuthing made my day. I will say that some things are correct and some things are not. I’m even debating giving you a list of the boys with how has the most to least kids. but that might just be because I’m evil. You know what. I’m gonna do it. 

Most to least we have. 

Tae

Hoseok

Namjoon

Jimin

Jin

Jungkook

Yoongi

do with this information what you will. 

[angel-deux-writes]

Hi Angel! I've been a big fan of yours since HCM, and so I wanted to express my concern for your wellbeing. There was that big break when you took a month or so to finish HCM before posting it in quick succession, in order to not have to deal with the comments. Now, from what you've been writing in the notes to Dorne Rights, it looks like you are experiencing something similar. The selfish fan in me wants you to keep writing and keep posting, but the basic human in me is more worried that (1/2)

you are unhappy. Nothing is worth making yourself unhappy over, particularly not something that’s meant to give you pleasure. A favourite author of mine back in the days of my Spike/Angel obsession had a disclaimer on her stories telling readers to please not leave feedback of any kind, not even constructive criticism, on her fics because she finds them unhelpful. Her comment section was full of chats about various topics in that fandom, rather than her own fiction. Might help. (2/2)

Hello! I really appreciate this message, because you’re right: fanfic writing isn’t good for me.

(lol putting this beneath the cut because it’s way too long)

It’s actually my experience in this fandom that has made me realize that writing in general probably isn’t good for me, but unfortunately I feel a drive to it and can’t seem to stop myself from thinking I’ll one day get published, so that’s a bit of a downer. The truth is that I’m naturally disposed toward thinking that I’m shit, my words are shit, and every thought I’ve ever had is unoriginal and poorly written. It’s always been like that, from the time I wrote my first attempt at fiction at 7 years old to now at 31. It takes a lot for me to share my writing with people. I started writing fic at 14, basically as soon as I discovered that I wasn’t the only person composing stories about Han and Leia in their free time. I’m sure that my fics were horrendous. I give myself a hard time now, but 14 year old me probably deserved it even more. But there were sweet people on the internet who encouraged me (and lied to me) and told me that my stories were good, and that made a huge difference. 

(that and my freshman year english teacher, who was very very cute and earnest and young and made me feel like I could actually be a writer.)

I’ve never been a part of a fandom before. Discourse and meta and long discussions about canon events have never interested me. I’ve said that before, and it remains true! I consume what canon there is, and sometimes I like it, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I’m so dissatisfied with it that I need to write something, and so I do. I don’t think I’ve ever written fic for something that I found entirely satisfactory. The extension of my being part of an actual fandom in the past was probably reblogging a few gifsets and recommending it to friends. I’ve just never had that sort of communal experience. This, the J/B fandom, was my first time really getting into it. It’s the first time I’ve ever made friends online that weren’t just frequent commenters on long multichapter fics! It has been exciting and I’m grateful for it! It’s just also probably not good for me. 

It’s just, like, every time I post something, I’m fighting a very loud and very desperate voice in my head that’s saying “you’re shit and you shouldn’t bother”. It’s why I’m so good at writing first drafts of novels but so, so bad at getting past the second. It’s why I usually post fics only until I’ve worked out my frustrations: one or two fics per fandom and then ghosting away forever. It’s very hard to defy that voice and post something anyway, and this fandom experience has taught me that no matter HOW many stories I post, I’m ALWAYS going to have to fight that voice. And it’s gotten actively stronger. “You’re not what this fandom wants” “You’re not good at this” “Everyone’s just being nice” “You’ve overstayed your welcome”. Paying attention, often by accident, to the discourse and the metas only makes it worse, because my brain automatically turns to “well YOU don’t write them like that. That means you’re wrong”. I can tell myself as many times as I want that I myself like many different interpretations of J/B! My brain goes “yeah, but you’re just an idiot who doesn’t know any better. There’s a right way, and you’re not doing it”. 

THIS IS ALL SO DRAMATIC! But it’s just the truth! Every time I post something, it’s against my nature. NO ONE outside of fandom reads my writing! I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve allowed my close friends and family to read things. So while it may seem like, idk, like I should just be able to get over it, negative comments, or even SLIGHTLY critical comments, really hit me hard. For all the positive feedback I get (and I really AM super grateful for it, and it means the world to me), those few critical voices seem louder because they’re agreeing with what I have already known about myself. And so it feels almost like a victory, but a shitty one. “Ha! I was right this whole time! I AM a shit writer, and I’ve for some reason tricked those other people into thinking I’m good!” 

For a long time (much longer than I’ve ever written for any other fandom, obviously), I was able to shove it to the side. The J/B fandom HAS been super good to me, and they HAVE been wonderful about giving me feedback and making me feel welcome and included. But those negative voices are just SO LOUD to me, even though I know logically that they shouldn’t be. 

It would be easy to point to a specific problem and say that my issues will be fixed if only I can address that. I do it CONSTANTLY. Maybe if I stopped tagging other relationships. Maybe if I stopped tagging other characters. Maybe if I tagged my works super specifically. Maybe if I made author’s notes about how I’m a shit writer and people shouldn’t expect things from me. Maybe if I just wrote “THIS STORY IS WRITTEN ALREADY AND IM JUST EDITING AS I GO! PLEASE DONT SUGGEST THINGS!” I just feel like, increasingly, I want fewer and fewer eyes on my fics. It’s the opposite of the problem I thought I would have. But my confidence took a huge hit with HCM, and then I was finally feeling good enough to post Dorne Rights. It was probably a mistake! 

idk, maybe it’s just all the shit that’s going on in the world + in my personal life. Maybe it’s just time. Maybe I’m just running out of inspiration. But the positive voices aren’t loud enough to drown out my own negative self-voice this time, and so I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle it. Part of me wants to delete Dorne Rights with the intention of reworking it and maybe posting it again down the line with fewer tags and a lot more reminders that people can write their own stories if they don’t like mine. Part of me wants to just do a HCM and post it all at once so that I can leave the finished product up (even if I now think the entire thing is garbage). Part of me wants to stop writing fic entirely, at least until the next time I watch something with an ending so bad it fucks me up. I think my solution will probably be a massive step back from fandom for a little while. I’ve been feeling a drive to work on my original stuff, and I should probably lean into that. I would like to still write and post J/B, once I find the inspiration, but I’m tired of feeling like this is a job. I think I got so deeply sunk into this attitude of “I NEED to write and post constantly because these people want me to, and they actually like what I write!!” that I stopped writing things because I wanted to write them and started writing them because I wanted to write things for other people, to make other people happy, and so that they could tell me that I’m not a shit writer at all.

I should make it clear that I do intend to write my JB fic swap thing FOR SURE. I will drag that story out of myself no matter what. But in general it’s probably just healthier for me to not spend so much time On Here especially, and on fic in general.

[cal-tries-to-write]

Dead men walking

Synopsis: Sam and Dean pick up a case in LA that seems simple enough but once they get there they only hit dead ends. That is until their one decent lead only leads them to almost getting arrested after a run in with some old family friends. A 911/supernatural crack fic.

Warnings: mention of blood and monsters (I’m honestly not to sure what to put here)

A/n Welcome to my first fic I’m publishing! And I decided to make it a rushed crack fic because I’m sad about the ending of superntural and I miss 911. This was also supposed to be a short little joke fic but here we are. Also a huge thank you to @buckleysjareau for helping me work out how the team would react go check her post which gives an amazing scene to what each of the characters are thinking, how they react and their like over all thoughts of the supernatural being real.

“Dean I don’t see why we took this case there are plenty of hunters in LA.”

“Because you were complaining about just sitting around the bunker so I found us a case.”

“Ok but you hate LA, the traffic, the weather, the wait,” Sam stops halfway toward the house smirking at his brother, “this wouldn’t have anything to do with Maddie would it?”

“What Dads old hunting friend’s kid? No. It has to do with the fact that people are dying in weird way.” He scoffed not even bothering to look back at Sam.

“Whatever you say man. But if I remember correctly you had a huge crush on her when we were little didn’t you?” Sam laughed continuing towards the house.

“Shut up.” He glared tearing down the police tape and opening the door.

The outside looked normal, tan siding, windows with the shades drawn, a perfect porch, even a white picket fence but the perfect scenery changed the second they stepped inside. Gibberish covers the walls written in what the boys could only assume was blood. Symbols covered the ceilings and pools of blood the floor.

Sam shuttered looking around the room, he had seen a lot of messed up things, many worse than this, yet for some reason being in the room he was more on edge then ever before. Looking at the blood stained walls he tried to identify any of the words or symbols but failed, “So, I don’t know about you but I don’t recognize any of these words or any of the symbols.

“I’ve got to agree with you there.”

“Well then I say we head to the M.E to look at the bodies to see if there’s any clues there.”

“Yeah sounds like a plan.” After drivin back into the heart of LA he was pulled from his thoughts as Sammy informed him that they would need to stop by the police station before heading to the M.E to get the photos that were taken at the scene.

“Why don’t I drop you off at the M.E and I’ll go to the police station.”

“Alright just don’t forget to pick me when your done.”

“I would never.”

“Sergeant Grant?” Dean asks as he walk the officer the receptionist had told him was first on the scene.

“That would be me. What can I do for you?”

“I’m agent Ackles with the FBI I’m here to ask you a few questions about a 911 call that you responded to and look at the photos and evidence.”

“Let me guess the Briggs house? That place looked straight out of a horror movie when I got there.” She said as she started walking towards the evidence locker.

“Yeah that would be the call.” He replied following behind her.

“The only thing left at the scene was this,” she held up a plastic bag with a golden dagger in it, “well other than the body and writing.”

“Here,” Sergeant Grant handed him the two manila folder she hand been holding, “the crime scene photos. I was just looking over them and I still can’t piece together what happened.”

He thanked her as he left the station and flipped through the folder in the car. About 10 minutes later the only thing he knew is that Mr.Briggs was still alive and holding the knife when first responders got there. He heard his phone buzzing below some of the paper work. He quickly moved the folders to picked it up, “Sammy please tell me you have some clues after seeing the body.”

“I’m afraid not. The body’s fairly clean just cuts all over they seemed to be made by a small knife.”

“So we have no clue to what’s causing this other than a dagger and some bloody symbols and writing. Great,” Dean sighed as hit hit his head on the steering wheel, “okay I’ll be at the M.E in 20 minutes.”

Sam couldn’t make heads or tails or the case, nothing matched up, he could find any of the symbols in any books or online, he could figure out what language the writing was, if they were even actual words, he reminded himself. After sitting at his computer for a good two hours he decided he may have better luck getting information from the case files Dean had picked up earlier. They didn’t give him much but they did give him a lead to start with the next day, after the call was placed medical was dispatched first, arrived first and even got there before the guy died, the police were called after they walked in and saw the blood on the walls and ceiling. The statements came from a Captain Robert Nash and after a quick google search Sam found he worked at station 118.

“Get dressed,” Sam called into their room, “I found us a lead on the case. Or at least I think I did.”

“What’s the lead?” He yawned sitting up and stretched his arms.

“The cop you visited yesterday, Sergeant Grant, she wasn’t the first person on the scene. Medical was called first specifically the 118. And when they got there Mr.Briggs was still alive so we’re going to the station in hopes they have some information that the police reports missed.”

“And you can’t go by yourself because?”

“Because I don’t feel like interveiwing 6 people entirely on my own.”

“Fine.”

“Eddie!” Buck called after his friend as they walked towards the station.

“Buck.” He stopped and waited for him to catch up.

“Did you know that there’s a suprising amount of sibling serial killer?”

“I didn’t.”

“Well there are a ton. Like there were these two brothers who traveled across the US posing as FBI agents and killing people in mass amounts. They actually managed to make it to the top of the actual FBI’s most wanted list in record time. That was until they got caught and supposedly died in custody.”

“Supposedly?” Eddie gave him a questioning look as they entered the locker room.

“Well there have been tons of reports on people seeing them after their supposed deaths. And there’s a bunch of theories they escaped but the FBI didn’t want people worrying so they said they died.”

“Did you get any sleep last night of did you spend the whole night researching serial killers?”

“I got some sleep.” Buck yawned looking offended. He finished buttoning his shirt and then running to catch up with Eddie who was heading upstairs. Eddie just laughed at him.

After getting in a brief nap at the start of the shift then nothing but non stop calls the team finally got a break as they got started getting ready for dinner.

“Is Maddie going to stop by for dinner?” Chimney asked as he handed plates to Buck to set the table.

“I figured you would know considering your her boyfriend.”

“And you her brother.”

“Touché, and yeah she said she would try to stop by.”

“Buck can you go see what the two guys in suits want.” Bobby asked as less of a question and more of an order.

“On it,” He setting down the last plate running down the stairs only to freeze once he got fairly close to the two guys.

“I’m Agent Ackles and this is my partner agent Padelecki we were hoping to talk to Captain Nash?”

Buck completely terrified with fear said the first thing that came to his mind which was, “No your not.”

The two ‘agents’ looked back and forth between themselves than at him. “I’m sorry?” The taller one, Sam, Buck remembered from the article said.

“Buck you ok?” Eddie spoke from behind him causing all three of them to jump slightly.

Eddie took a step closer to his friend seeing that he was clearly uncomfortable.

“We are agents Ackles and,”

He was cut off by Buck saying louder than probably necessary, “They’re serial killers from the article I was telling you about.” 

As everyone in the stations head suddenly turned towards the four men on the main floor after hearing Buck say that the people he’s talking to are serial killer. Eddie took a step forward putting himself between Buck and the two ‘agents’.

“Wait, what, no we’re not serial killers.” Sam said putting his hands up, “Look your Evan Buckley right?”

Dean gave looked at his brother like he was insane. There was no way this was little Evan Buckley. Maddies baby brother, who last time they saw him was barely tall enough to reach counter tops. This guy looked like he could bench Dean.

“How do you know that?” Buck looked even more terrified now.

“Yeah how do you know that?” Dean looked at him confused himself now.

Sam turned to explain to Dean ignoring the looks Buck and Eddie were giving him, “Maddie and I kept in touch and after I left to go to school we started talking more. So,” he turned back to Buck and Eddie, “if we can talk to her I’m sure,”

“What do you want with Maddie?” Chimney, who along with Hen and Bobby had joined them on the main floor, questioned with a pissed look on his face.

“Im going to call Athena.” Hen said pulling out her phone and dialing Athenas number.

“I did the second Buck said serial killers.” Bobby told her. Hen stopped dialing and put her phone away.

Both of Sam and Dean were now even more worried with the threat of cops coming to the station. “Wait please just give us a minute to explain.” Sam attempted to defuse the situation.

“Sam? Dean?” Maddie called as she walked into the station, “What’s going on?”

“Maddie,” Sam sighed in relief, “Thank god can you please tell your brother we are not serial killers?”

She shifted her gaze between Sam and Dean and Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Buck, and Eddie. “Yeah they’re not serial, what are you two doing here?” Her eyebrows were knitted together as she walked towards the group and faced them.

“Ummm Maddie why are you talking to the serial killers like you know them? And like they’re good friends of yours and not serial killers?” Chimney asked.

“Because I do? Wait why do you all think they’re serial killers?” She looked at them realizing they all looked panicked, “Loom let’s all sit down and we can talk this out, alright?”

“So all of it, everything like ghosts, demons, shifters, vampires, werewolves, it’s all real?” Eddie questioned with a suprisingly calm look on his face, “And you,” he motioned to Sam and Dean who were sitting across the table, “you guys kill them?”

“Yeah.” Maddie answered from next to them, “I did too when we were younger that’s how I know the Winchesters. John and our dad used to go on hunts together and when we got older the boys and I did too.”

“I’m sorry can we back track here? So MONSTERS like honest to god MONSTERS are real and YOU hunted them? Is that what you and dad did on your hunting trips? Killing not deer but DEMONS! You could have gotten hurt! And how come I never learned any of this?” Buck stared at his sister across the table. He looked more distressed about learning his sister used to hunt these monster than learning about the monsters themselves.

Maddie let out a sigh, “Mom and Dad were very divided on the whole hunting thing. Dad wanted us to learn to be hunters because that’s how he grew up, Mom didn’t. So they compromised the first born kid, would learn all about monsters and how to hunt them, the second kid, would be kept completely in the dark about the supernatural.”

“The supernatural is real,” Eddie mumbled under his breath before raising his voice, “I knew it.”

Everyone immediately turned their heads towards him. A blush crept up his face once he realized he had said that louder than intended, “My sisters used to tease me all the time because I loved everything supernatural as a kid. I also believed in a lot of it to so they used it to play pranks on me.”

“Bobby everything alright?” Athena suddenly called from the main floor, “I got your text saying that you had two serial killers just walk into the station?”

Bobby stood up and hesitated as Athena climbed the stairs into the loft, before he looked at Sam and Dean then at Maddie and his team, “Yeah everything’s just fine. It was just a false alarm.”

Eddie jumped in to explain a little further when Athena gives him the ‘are you saying that because you’re in danger’ look, “Buck here thought agents Ackles and Padelecki looked like two serial killers from an article he read last night. I think the lack of sleep is finally getting to him.” He laughed off the second part.

She bummed before turning towards Sam and Dean, “Agent Ackles and you must be agent Padelecki. What are you two doing here?”

Sam spoke up quickly, “The police reports said the 118 was the first on the scene so we figured we stop by and see if they had and extra information that might help the case.”

She nodded understanding the help first hand accounts can have, “Well Ive got to get back to work. I’ll see you all later, and I will see you at home.” She walked over to Bobby giving him a quick kiss before turning around heading back down the stairs.

“I can’t believe you almost got your sisters friends arrested because you thought they were serial killers.” Hen laughed at Buck

“I mean technically I wasn’t being dumb the serial killers were them just not THEM.”

“I hope you know that sentence make absolutely no sense even with context.”

“So,” Maddie turned back around in her chair to face Sam and Dean, “you two never did explain what you are doing here.”

“Right,” Sam sat up straighter, “we heard about the Briggs house and it looked like something in our domain so we figured we check it out.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Except we have found anything that helps us solve the case or figure out if it’s even remotely supernatural.”

Maddie stood up and pushed her chair in,“Well then, what can I do to help?” She said looking Sam and Dean in the eye.

A/n so that got long and I decided to stop that there because I like that as the last line. I might make a part two but I’m also working on another less cracky 911 fic. And I know super creative alias for Sam and Dean. Sorry about the weird spacing tumblr didn’t like me copying and pasting from docs apparently.

[adamsvanrhijn]

Saw your posts about mask making and can I ask of there's like a pattern or tutorial you use to make yours? I've been trying out a bunch but haven't found one that fits me really well yet, hope you're doing good 💕

hi!! i’ve just been making rectangle ones because they work for me and are easy, but i might try to do 2 piece or those gored ones once i have all my sewing stuff set up.

so I started with the united states centers for disease control’s making cloth face coverings guidelines and then tweaked it from there because.... they’re kind of weird? the measurements are just off. once i’m moved in i may make an actual tutorial post (although tons of people have been making better ones than i’m capable of i’m sure). so, i am extremely lazy and the method i’ve been using is

- 1 piece of muslin lining

- 1 piece of interfacing

- 1 piece of fashion fabric (using printed quilter’s cotton mostly) with a larger seam allowance

i thiiiink 6 inches by 8 inches is what i figured out works best? i am pretty sure i do not have measuring tape readily available rn or i’d get up and measure my works in progress but this time next week i’ll be unpacking and will be able to give more detail. if you use the CDC measurements you can get 6 out of a fat quarter by cutting things on the fold but like, there is too much fabric left over with that method so i need to figure out if there’s a way that is more economical fabric wise!

so, i layer them with the right side of the fashion fabric out, interfacing, and then muslin on the other side, and then i just hem both the narrow sides and the bottom with just a basic 2 fold hem so that the fashion fabric is folded neatly over the muslin. the top one gets a twist tie in the middle to form around the nose and a wider hem than the other 3 sides and then that is the mask piece taken care of 

then i either pleat or gather or elastic the shorter side + i’ve been trying variations on tacking pleats/darts/etc in the longer side to get it to conform better to the face too

because again i am very lazy i’ve just been sewing elastic straps after i hem it, although as i’m not using mitered corners or bias tape or anything if i hem the sides first i can insert straps when i hem up the long sides. this is very trial and error trying to get things that fit.

if you are having trouble with fit, using a rectangle pattern like i do and then using ties that go all the way around the head instead of elastic will help better conform to your face. you can also use around-the-head elastic on the top part and a tie on the bottom or vice versa if you think the problem is only happening on your nose / under your chin etc.

this is not a tutorial it is just a shitty explanation i am sorry. but i’ll try to do something with photos next week!!! 

i will add a couple of photos after i publish this bc im on desktop hang on.

ok so these are the first two i did and they are single fold hems and the product of their mistakes but the fact that they are messy af does not show at all when i am wearing them.

this one i followed the CDC directions exactly / put no effort into craftsmanship At All. it doesn't have a wire in it. when i wore it it was all around my face and the elastic ended up breaking, so, i kept the elastic gathering but cut off the actual strap and sewed some new ones on.

then, because it was too long, i pleated the center bottom and put two pleats at a little bit inside the 1/3 point from each side.

i have no idea why the orientation of these is so bad.

the next one i had cut out to do the cdc pattern but i knew it was too long because i'd already made the red one, so i cut it and very lazily hemmed the side + pleated it to be mask shaped:

we are in desperate need of fray check over here. and also pressing i think it got weird the last time i washed it? like the pleats are uneven but they're puckered here. oh well.

but when i am wearing them they pretty much look fine and they cover my nose and mouth

[bazwillendinflames]

Yes Im publishing class fic in the year of our lord 2020... yes I started this in 2018... mind your business 

Ao3

'Magic separates us from the world; let nothing separate us from each other.'

Matteusz always looked forward to coming back to Watford. It wasn't the magic that he missed (it was impossible to miss the magic when he carried it with him constantly). But his parents were strict and he had somehow gone the whole summer without talking to his friends. He even found himself missing Ram, even if his roommate was a slob. But six weeks with no Ram or April or Tanya was unbearable. It was Charlie he missed the most, who was his own category. Matteusz couldn't tell exactly what Charlie was. He wasn't just a friend (Charlie wasn't just anything). But he wasn't his boyfriend either. "You do not have to wait for me." "I don't mind Matti. Besides I won't see you in the summer. That's a whole forty-five days without my favourite person." "I am your favourite person?" 

The same gates he stood outside of now was when he last saw Charlie. They had been leaning against the gate (they probably weren't supposed to be doing it, it was a magickal artefact) waiting for his parents to pick him up. (Charlie didn't have anywhere to go. He stayed at Watford over the summer because his parents were part of the Coven and too busy to be parents.) Charlie had been saying something clueless, as usual, and then Matteusz had leaned over and kissed him. "Promise you will read Narnia over the summer? I think you will like Susan." "Is that in Canada?" It was probably a stupid thing to do. But he'd spend the whole year pining after Charlie. A whole year hoping that Charlie would notice how good he'd gotten at love spells and figure it out. "You are a dork." "You make it sound like a good thing." He'd looked at Charlie then, as the sun shone on his hair. And then he rested a hand on his cheek and leant in. Matteusz had a hundred excuses ready for when Charlie pulled away. Except Charlie hadn't. He'd stayed in place, letting Matteusz kiss him and reaching out to touch his face, to keep him there.  "Matti?" "Yes?" "Look at me." It would have been the perfect moment if his parents hadn't shown up then. They had dragged him away and cut off all communication with anyone. They probably would have locked him in a tower if they had access to one. Matteusz had spent his summer hoping Charlie wouldn't pretend to forget about their kiss. It would break his heart. He'd stared off into the space where they'd sat for too long. Matteusz picked up his bag and walked into Watford.

   "You're okay!" April almost launched herself onto him. She was the shortest person in their group but she still managed to be intimidating, even with hugs. Her chinky rose-shaped ring dug into his back. "Matteusz we hadn't heard from you all summer. Charlie's been so worried! You're all he's been talking about!" "Charlie?" He felt himself start to smile. "You seem surprised. He's your best friend." Friend. The word stung. It meant Charlie hadn't told them. He made himself smile again but it didn't feel right anymore. "Yeah." "Come on," April said, almost dragging him to their table. She was a force of nature at times. The silver flower on her finger glinted. It was her vessel of magic and despite it looking simple, April was powerful. They all had vessels to cast spells and control the magic inside them. It was the only requirement to get into Watford: magic and a way to control it. Matteusz used a woven leather bracelet to cast his own spells. It was old and passed down though his family for generations. His grandmother had given it to him before he had even started school. (In Poland he'd gone to a Normal school, which made Watford seem even more magical.)  "What happened to you?" Tanya demanded. For an outsider, the youngest of the group taking charge like that would be surprising. But Matteusz had two years of Tanya experience already. She and April were both forces to be reckoned with, some of the most powerful mages of their class. The most powerful in their group too. The most powerful Mage of the century used to be Simon Snow - the Chosen One (even Matteusz had heard of him from a different country) - before he lost his power completely. It was the worst thing that could happen to a Mage and the Chapel was still off-limits. Rumours that some kind of dark magic had gone down and now it was cursed. Matteusz wasn't sure if that part was true but it certainly seemed like something evil had happened. The results of that December night had changed the magickal community forever. It had been nearly impossible to convince his parents to even let him into Watford at all. 

“I spent the whole summer with my parents telling me I was their greatest disappointment.” Matteusz winced at his words. 

"You're not a disappointment. Not to me," Charlie said quietly. It had been their first communication since the Kiss; Matteusz had missed his voice. He had sat in silence, which wasn't unusual. Charlie was shy most of the time, it was why his spell casting wasn't so great. They had ended up sitting next to each other but Matteusz didn’t have the courage to look directly at him until now. 

Charlie was the same as usual, same bright eyes, nervous grin, although his hair was a little overgrown and messy. He resisted the urge to fix it for him. "Thank you." 

"Yo girl, keep it together," Tanya cast, using her ornate staff, fixing a tea stain on her shirt no one else had noticed. It was a waste of magick but she was powerful enough to use her magick on little things. 

"Too good for Shakespeare now?" Matteusz asked. 'Out, out damn spot' was the most commonly used cleaning spell. Tanya mostly cast it on Ram, who always ended up covered in mud (football) or blood (he liked the Wavering Woods). "Just trying new things," Tanya answered. "And Matteusz? I agree with Charlie. Completely. Next Summer you can stay with us. I mean not me, you know what my mum is like. But we’d be happy to help out somehow.” 

"Me too," April seconded. She wore the anxious friend smile. (She had the perfect face for it; big, blue eyes that were always full of worry.) "Do you-" Tanya started. Matteusz shook his head. "I'd rather not." "Got it." Tanya changed the topic. That was something he couldn't help liking about Tanya. She may be blunt and witty but she knew when to change the atmosphere. "Any ideas for seventh year spells?" He'd forgotten about that. For their last year projects they were supposed to invent their own spell. Matteusz wasn't looking forward to it. His English meant his magic wasn't easy. He could invent a spell that worked in Polish perhaps but nothing jumped out to him as a good starting point. "I was thinking about something related to music. I listened to a great folk song last week. It goes like-" April started singin g "-'Cos I'm here and I'm outside your window, rain is soaking to the skin-" 

April was more than just a fantastic Mage, she was also a great musician. (She played five instruments varying from the cello to the ukulele. Ram swore she could cast spells with her violin bow but they weren't sure if it was actually true. Ram could get a little over enthusiastic when discussing his girlfriend.) Matteusz caught Charlie's eye. The song reminded him too much of the painful months of summer where he was torn about thinking about Charlie and trying to convince himself to not think about Charlie. He couldn't decide which part had been worst. "Hey," Charlie whispered. Just one word. It was more than enough. He shuffled closer to Matteusz and took his hand under the table. It felt a little strange at first, for a second, until it felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

    Charlie had held Matteusz' hand throughout lunch. April and Tanya had been too distracted by Ram's arrival to notice (he was a force of chaos). Or maybe they had noticed and Matteusz had been the distracted one; Charlie had been tracing patterns on the back of his hand and it was putting him into some kind of bliss related trance. They were due a big talk (and more kissing if that talk went well). It was almost ironic how Matteusz could cast spells in two languages but struggled to know where to start. ('I love you' was too big and they'd already used up their 'heys'.) "I should unpack," Tanya said. "Clove isn't here yet so we won't fight over bookshelf space." "Nerds," Ram said, although fondly. He said it so much, it was surprising that it wasn't a spell already. That's how phrases became spells, with the right emphasise and continued usage. (It was hard to pick up if you didn’t get the language or culture of a place; Matteusz had started off at a disadvantage.) "You should unpack too April," Tanya suggested. There was a glint in her eye that gave her intent away. "Ram, you can help me carry my stuff." "How much stuff do you have?" "You'll see." Tanya winked at him, which was mostly awkward. "We'll regroup later." She spoke like they were still at war (they weren't but they had all grown up with the Humdrum sucking up magic from the atmosphere, they had grown being ready to protect each other because the Chosen One wasn’t always reliable). "Sure," Matteusz replied. They waited for their friends to leave in silence. "They're rooting for us," Charlie said, breaking the silence. The dining hall was mostly empty; the term didn't start for another week. "What about you?" "I've always been rooting for us." Charlie smiled like it was painful. "Your parents - that was my fault." "No. That was their fault. Their prejudice is their problem. And they won't scare me off." "Nothing could scare me off now," Charlie said softly. "Do you want to walk outside? The flowers are starting to bloom." "Lead the way." Charlie held out a hand. Matteusz took it gladly and held on tightly. He wasn't lying that no one could scare him off from Charlie. That was something he didn't need any magick for. (But if there was a spell to tie their hearts together, he’d use it.)

   The welcome-back picnic was Matteusz' favourite Watford tradition. He liked the fireworks although they weren't till the end of the night, when it got dark. Tanya dragged her roommate over, despite her protesting. Clove was shy and carrying a book bigger than her head. She used a lilac wand, although Matteusz had never seen her use it, which was tucked into her vibrant red bun. Clove only sat with them when Tanya dragged her over and usually spent most of the time blushing. She had a crush on Ram last year but now Tanya seemed to be the source of her flustered cheeks. It seemed mutual; Tanya kept looking over at her and smiling giddily.   "They grow up so fast," Ram muttered to them, as the girls slipped away in search of a picnic blanket. "And they were roommates," April added, laughing. She had a flower tucked behind her hair, as part of her own tradition. She had picked it on her first day and kept it fresh using 'April showers' since. Ram kept retucking and kissing her. April swatted him away but she had a traitorous smile. All his friends were loved up already. And with the Humdrum gone now (but how?) they actually seemed to be able to enjoy their relationships. Matteusz glanced over to Charlie out of habit, who was satisfying his sweet tooth by skipping sandwiches and going straight for the cakes. (April sometimes cast a 'sweet enough' on him so there would be enough sugar left for the rest of them.) April and Ram weren't the only ones who were loved up. (They’d be a disgustingly cute couple, he had decided, they deserved to be.) "I hope there's a spell for tooth decay." Charlie smiled, wiping a smudge of chocolate from his mouth. "I'll think of one. Maybe I'll ask my parents to put it to the Coven. They're always complaining that the meetings are too boring now all the wars are over." "I think they're the only ones." Charlie was still smiling which was a good sign; usually just mentioning his parents ruined his mood. "I'm just happy to be here. War’s over, the Humdrum is gone and picnics." "Are you drunk?" April asked. Matteusz had forgotten she was there; it happened sometimes when he got too wrapped up with Charlie. "That was only one time. And I haven’t touched any magickal liquor since. I’m just glad to be here after such a long summer." "Me too," Matteusz agreed. Charlie reached for his hand, which he had been doing a lot. Because they could now. "We're together now." There was something about the way he said it that made Matteusz feel soft on the inside. April and Ram were probably looking at them suspiciously but he didn't care. "Are you though?" Ram asked. "Together?" "Subtle Ram." April rolled her eyes. "It's their business." "Whatever." Charlie was blushing. "Give us time." (Matteusz would stop time if that would take.) "Meaning?" "Ram." April elbowed him and laughed. "Ignore him guys. Take your time." "Yeah. Take you time," Ram repeated. “But not like too much time because Tan and I-“ "Shut up." "Sure sweetie." April turned an interesting shade of pink and went back to her tea. "Idiot." Charlie laughed and leant into Matteusz. "I feel really happy." Matteusz squeezes his hand in the dark. "Me too."