#fighting fucking and banter

[bringthekaos]

I feel like post divorce they're the epitome of:

Viktor: "I feel the need to do something stupid"

Jayce: "I'm stupid, do me"

Viktor: “that is a terrible and tactless joke.” *proceeds to do him anyway*

Jayce after, smoking a cigarette and grinning from ear to ear: “is it tactless if it works?”

Viktor: “fuck you.”

Jayce: “you did. Thoroughly.”

*hexclaw blast*

[unicornpopcorn14]

Ada r... *wheeze* r-reunion... when...

[b0amagination]

Tastes of Whumptober: Day 20

Did you know? Hero and villain prompts were some of the first whump content I intentionally consumed! I will forever be salty that mainstream superhero content could never live up to those prompts.

Content warnings for: Gun violence, threats of death, and mildly suggestive comments

Giving Permission to Die

“So? What’s the plan today?” The villain shouted across the room at the hero whose captivity he’d been in for… a week, now. Maybe more.

“Finally giving you what you want,” he responded with a shrug, playing with the knife in his hands. Flip it over, switch hands. Flip it over, switch hands.

“You don’t look prepared to present me with your corpse.”

“Oh, my death wouldn’t end your sentence, my love.” The flipping game was getting boring, and he picked at dirt under his nails using the blade instead. “You’d be chained up here with the rotting thing until you passed away yourself. Not punishment enough for your crimes, but it’s better than letting you roam the streets.”

“Sounds like you’re not giving me what I want then.”

“Be glad my greatest sin is telling lies.” A pointed glare accused him of crimes he’d plead innocent to, yet again. The knife moved to scratch an itch with the flat of it. 

“You sure that torturing a man isn’t higher on that list?”

“The pen is mightier than the sword, love.” A gesture with the damned thing now. He pushed down the urge to point out the obvious differences between that little thing and a sword. But the dick joke was funny in his head and didn’t involve initiation of a measuring contest.

“And your forked tongue doesn’t salivate ink. Swords can make quick work of those.” 

“Oh, shall I try it out on yours?” The hero stuck out his tongue at him.

“Put me out of my misery first.”

The knife plunged into the floor and he stood, never taking his eyes off of the villain.

“That. That’s what I’m talking about. Always egging me on. Trying to make me go too far.” He stalked forward and pulled a pistol from the inside pocket of his jacket. Entirely concealed from the outside. “I’ll go too far today. Just for you.” 

“Cute prop.” He hid the way his body shivered at the sight, praying the hero wouldn’t call his bluff. He was chained to this wall by his ankles, wrists, and neck. It wouldn’t be useful to put himself in a more vulnerable position.

“Here, let me fire. Maybe you’ll believe it then.” The gun aimed at the concrete beside his head but he paused. “Oh, who am I kidding. I should save your hearing for the last few minutes of your life.”

Foam earplugs were thrust into his ears and held still while they extended to block the canal, and the other did the same for himself. 

“Now, where was I?” Of course, shouting loud enough to bypass the earplugs. He aimed only a foot to the left of the villain’s head, pulling away as far as he possibly could, and fired. 

The sound ricocheted around the room, admittedly too small to facilitate gunfire, and he grinned at the way his victim flinched, eyes going wide. He walked forward and plucked the bullet out from its newfound pocket in the concrete, scattering dust and chunks that had stood solid just moments before. 

It was still warm from being shot and he dropped his knees, pressing it into the villain’s hand and folding up fingers to protect it. It trembled in his grip. 

“Do you believe me now, dear?” he spoke low into their ear, making sure he could still hear the threatening tone.

“Leave. Put that damn thing away and leave. You won’t shoot me and I know it.”

He cradled his cheek with the gun. And slid it up to sit against his temple. 

“How confident are you?” 

“Deadly so.”

BANG.

The world was fuzzy from the shot. The noise too close to his head, bleeding into his vision despite the protection. He looked down at his hands to see the blood dripping down them, spraying from his forehead. But only the bullet rolling in his palm greeted him. 

“Oops, guess the magazine was out.” 

Comprehension was a struggle. His forehead burned, but without blood… the hero’s thumb reached up and he flinched back uselessly as it rubbed over the not-hole. It came back covered in soot, wiped against his jaw like it was nothing. 

“What…?”

He released the magazine from the gun and presented it. Empty. 

“You were right. I didn’t shoot you.”

“You…”

“Pulled the trigger? Absolutely. Let’s rectify that little mistake, love.” Another magazine from his pocket, showing the bullets loaded inside, and shoving it into place. 

Then the front sight pressed against the villain’s lips, wiggling between them and scratching his teeth. He shook his head, turning it to the side. 

“No, no. You asked me for this, baby. I’ll follow through for you.” His hand steadied his chin, squeezing his jaw, and the muzzle jammed into the teeth with the threat to break. He had no choice but to let it in.

Gunpowder was a repulsive taste. Ash and acid. Then metal, still warm from recent discharge, but cooling rapidly. He guided it in, not stopping when teeth clamped down in an attempt to ward it off. The muzzle pressed toward his gag reflex when the trigger guard finally brushed his lips and he sighed, a whiny pathetic thing. 

“C’mon. Nod, babe, and I’ll pull the trigger. Hero’s honor. To save those in need.”

Nothing. He held him by the back of the head, devious smile aware of each action’s connotation, and twisted the pistol to force it further, making him gag on it. 

“Tell me to do it. I’ll let you die. I’ll blow your fucking brains out, sweetheart.”

The hammer clicked back. His finger inched toward the trigger. The villain held his breath, unmoving.

And then the gun ripped out of his mouth, sight tearing across his cheek and lip, splattering his blood across the floor where it flew and spun to a stop at the other end of the room.

“Right. Don’t ask me again.”

[robotsandramblings]

i had a really funny revelation that Crosshair and Echo were [during S3] and still are sharing the Havoc-4 call sign, probably even playfully fighting over it, now that Crosshair is back on the team,,

then i realized that Crosshair probably took up the Havoc-2 call sign because Tech is gone

IT STARTED OFF CUTE AND NOW I'M JUST REALLY SAD ALL OVER AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[trevisos]

nothing but teeth

pairing: nb!Tav/Astarion rating: G word count: 4,030 description: Astarion is lying about being a magistrate - that much is obvious. Xarrai intends to find out what it is he's trying to hide. more context: Xarrai is a tiefling bard and courtesan with the charlatan background, and an escaped Banite cultist. Any pronouns are fine (though I stick with they/them here for clarity.) ao3 link: here

It's high summer on the banks of the Chionthar and the woods are alive with it, birdsong and sunlight on every breeze. The air is warm and bright and smells of fresh grass and clean water; the sun sends rays of light like long fingers between the branches of the trees and spills them across the worn dust of the road. It’s the kind of thing Xarrai could write a shallow ballad about, a song to be debuted in a room of drunkards at the Helm & Cloak to raucous applause. Or perhaps a poem, one they could whisper into the ear of a patriar in the facsimile of affection he paid for, wrapped in his silken sheets. It’s beautiful. 

They hate it.

keep reading on ao3

[yumemiruuuu]

Feng Xin: Reasons why Mu Qing is a disappointing fictional character

Mu Qing: … Did you just refer to me as a fictional character??

Feng Xin: Yes. I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I have to share oxygen with the likes of you.

Feng Xin: Now hold your breath and shut the fuck up.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

the nsbu table is five DM pets and rekha shankar

[sunflowersandcherryblossoms]

Seriously... The Fullbringer Arc Bankai form, Ichigo's newfound, nonchalant, self assurance... The way this was — for me at least — the perfect time for Ichigo to embrace all of his facets and find balance...

... GRABBING A FUCKING CERO WITH HIS HANDS!?

The shihakusho

The Zanpakuto

The new Tensa Zangetsu

The white details

The tattoos/markings on his skin

The overall fierceness in his eyes

It could have ended here.

It should have ended here.

We could have had a flash forward to Ichigo graduating university, with the captains and lieutenants in Gigai attending.

We could have had a close up of Ichigo smiling fondly at them.

We could have had a fade to black scene with whichever voice you'd prefer, (I'd prefer Byakuya for many reasons, not all of them pertaining to shipping.) saying:

"Ready to go home?"

And Ichigo, with a low rumbling chuckle:

"Ready."

The last image is a Senkaimon opening with a bunch of Jigokucho flying out.

End Theme with scenes of everyone, years afterwards.

The former Karakura Team, flourishing, with a World Of The Living squad, that had taken on the mantle and responsibilities Ichigo used to have. Karin is with them, donning a shihakusho herself.

Yuzu, with a doctor's coat lab, opening the door of the Kurosaki clinic.

Isshin going through the Karakura hospital's corridor, a patient chart in his hand, talking with Ryuken.

Keigo, Mizuiro and Tatsuki, walking by the river, looking at photos and laughing. We get a close up of Mizuiro's hand to see one of the tickets Kyoraku gave them.

Finishing with our own peek at the photos they were looking at...

It's images of the Seireitei:

Ichigo with the Academy uniform, smiling widely

Kenpachi moping because he didn't want to take a picture.

Ikkaku, Yumichika and Hisagi waving at the camera.

Hitsugaya, being photographed from above, glaring at the camera.

Matsumoto hugging Hinamori and Nanao tightly. The other woman are wide eyed.

A photo of all of the captains in front of the First Squad's offices

All of the lieutenants having a picnic and cheering with their sake cups.

The first official photo of Ichigo with his new Squad mates (preferably the 11th)

Ichigo sitting on the engawa of the Kuchiki Manor, between Rukia and Byakuya, Renji by Rukia's side. Byakuya is smiling widely.

End credits.

[hella1975]

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

[anakinh]

finished rebirth. chapter 13 was wonderful. chapter 14... all i have to say is bad concept, cool boss fights. although i would've liked it more if they gave me some warning that i had to use all of the characters, cait sith included. fuck in cait sith. every time...

also, the conclusion for aerith's Whole Deal seems like it was the writers being too cowardly to conclude definitively and is waiting for the fandom's reaction before finalizing it in part 3. which wouldn't be a problem if they just stuck to the og. anyway, fuck this ending and see you all in 2028.

[bulbabutt]

just finished tf armada shits homoerotic as hell “the only way to stop hate in the universe is for Optimus and Megatron to pummel the absolute shit out of each other” just fucking kiss oh my god

[nightmarist]

Raphael gets big mad if you tell him hes bad at sex

[gwendolynnderolo]

started watching bridgerton for kate and anthony and enemies to lovers content, stayed for the iconic sibling dynamics and friendships

[cerealmonster15]

jesus christ like i only finished the sumeru story like a few months ago but i already forgot your literal first intro to kaveh is a scene of several minutes of him and alhaitham fully bitching at each other

[kamwashere]

okay so. so. so okay. just finished season 5 finale (still reeling, mind you) and went headfirst to watching fight the future and uh why did no one tell me.

[bumblingbabooshka]

'Parturition' is so brave for being the yaoi ship trope episode of Voyager. "Neelix and Tom Paris had a physical.....fight." Also continuing Tom's beautiful habit of loving both infidelity and child abandonment with all his heart. Also, wonderful out of context quote: "I had no right to push that pasta in your lap."