#fighting blackmail with blackmail

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[peeta-mellark]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 6x18 "Entropy"

[red-rover-au]

Friends, fans, freaks, help me out. Share EVERYTHING about how you think the Battle Nexus and Big Mama’s businesses work

Any headcanons about the structure/technology (like about her door that looks Very Krang-Like and what that might mean), your fanfic or your favorite fanfic that has the nexus as a significant plot point and/or goes into detail about how the place is managed, stuff you picked up from canon that gives hints on how Big Mama operates (like that chest covered in bones that her turtle assistant handed her), literally anything and everything you can think of!

If you know anything about economy that would be super helpful too, you should infodump about that as far as its relevant to Big Mama (pleeease)

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

This is based on my ‘Party Girl Izumi with IiDeku’ tags by @dark-elf-writes

Yes. This is legit what happens. Tenya just saved someone his age while she was trashed from a night out, she flirted heavily and left. He went home after his insomnia walk to try and get rest for his first day at UA Univesity.

And there, looking like she wasn't three sheets to the wind, is the girl he saved. She's wearing a tight tank top, a skirt and a pair of knee high boots as she taps away at her phone.

Not only is she there and fully functional but she demolishes half the class when it comes time for their Quirk Assessment. She has red lipstick, dark eye shadow and brings the pain.

Tenya is impressed, confused and a little intrigued.

(He will get eaten alive but man what a ride)

[stealthetrees]

Commander Fox does not consider himself a “kid person”. Unfortunately, kids consider him to be the greatest person in the universe.

Coruscant has plenty of orphaned and homeless children without someone to take care of them. You’d think it would be hard to gain their trust, but apparently all it took was punching a kidnapper and offering a ration bar. After the incident that Fox will never not downplay he finds himself followed by small figures lingering in the shadows.

It takes less than a day for Fox to cave and bring them home.

Normally, a single man with no parenting experience (not counting his brothers) would have trouble taking care of nine young children of various species. He would have, but Thorn caught him trying to sneak the kids inside.

The Coruscant Guard quickly grew in size, as they now had several more “logistics officers” that never seemed to be present during inspections or surprise visits. The kids were loved and adored by everyone they met. Once Fox brought the first few home he rarely went longer than a week without adopting a stray.

Parenting children was harder than it looked, and mistakes were made but they learned from those mistakes. Many parenting books were scrounged from second hand bookstores. The kids offered a glimpse into a world completely foreign to clones, and they quickly learned how different their upbringing was to the rest of the galaxy. This sparked the idea to adopt their younger siblings, because of corse they deserved to be happy too. It didn’t take much convincing for Fox to agree.

The hard part was figuring out how to steal children from Kamino.

[monstorous-lullaby-au]

A part of me wanted to strangle her…but that’s not gonna help with anything…

What’s up with these brats? Was I like her when I was her age??? Was I that bitchy too???…

Is that why we…damn it.

Welp, here it goes…

“Listen here, little lady…I don’t actually give flying fuck about your status or whatever. I come from a wealthy family myself. Our families are business partners long before you were born. So you or your family don’t frightened me.”

I looked at her DEAD in the eyes.

“After all…it was my father’s investment that got your daddy to the top…wasn’t it???”

I walked over to her, giving her a death glare.

“May I remind you…if you went missing, daddy wouldn’t care…would he? After all, your other father knows magic, so they make a replacement. It doesn’t matter if you have money or the most popular…you’ll die because of people wasting their time theories, whispering the same shit you’ve just told me and because it’s just a daily occurrence…The people you claim to care for you, mostly. The ones who probably use you for money and image.”

….

“So tell…what were you doing the night he disappeared? Did you see him leave after he scolded those twins? And If you don’t feel like answering…we’ll just sue your father, shut down the school, and your father’s reputation will be tarnished…After all the dance was his idea, so technically, he’s responsible for his disappearance.”

Interrogation 2: Velvette Gatz

@mortuarysciences

I tied my hair back while looking outside the window.

The scenario out there look grim…like a psychological thriller or some shit. As I stared into oblivion, my mind was on replay from the last interrogation. So Sora was alone during his last moments after he scolded those meddling twins…but then what happened???

Was it after I…no, no I don’t think…maybe?

My train of thought was interrupted as Hanami brought in the next student, Velvette Gatz…daughter of principal Gatz and head cheerleader.

I gave her an easy smile, hoping to put her at ease before the interrogation begins.

“Welcome miss Gatz,” I greeted, “thank you for taking your time out of your day to come and talk to us. I’ll be asking you a series of questions and I need you to answer them to the best of your abilities. Feel free to add any bit of information you feel that is crucial to investigation.”

She nodded quietly.

“OK. The first question is…Have you noticed any behavioral differences with Mr. Aguilar’s routine? If so, was it before or after his disappearance?”

[the-grimm-writer]

Yandere! Hanma who beats up your boyfriend and looks at you with a grin on his face, telling you how you deserve so much better and should leave him for him.

Yandere! Hanma who is somehow always where you are and plays it off as a coincidence if you call him out on it, and crashes every date you go on with your boyfriend, always trying to pick a fight with him just because he likes how you get in the middle and beg him not to beat him up again (of course he still does, he just likes how adorable you look when you're desperate <3).

Yandere! Hanma who gifts you with luxurious jewelry and inappropriate things like lingerie, and warns you how he's gonna punish you once you're finally his whenever you throw them out.

Yandere! Hanma who gets tired of waiting for you and finally corners you, telling you that you're going to break up with that shitty "boyfriend" of yours because he wants to show the world who you really belong to or else he'll kill him and anyone who stands in the way between you.

Yandere! Hanma who overstimulates you until you cry, laughing as tears stream down your face, mocking that your ex must have never made you feel any pleasure if you can't handle going a couple of rounds with him <3

[awesomecooperlove]

THE WASHINGTON EMPIRE 😈E⚠️X⚠️P⚠️O⚠️S⚠️E⚠️D😈

💥💥💥

[veerbles]

every single thing said about kaz is just like, patently false to the point of irony. dirtyhands about a man whose hands are literally spotless because they're never uncovered. without morals or conscience, would do anything for money when it is repeatedly implied he's passed over business opportunities if they involved slavery or indentures. doesn't say goodbye, just lets go about a man who has made it a point to never let anything go. doesn't need a reason when he is proven to never act without a reason, and in all actuality usually has at least two. and this is without mentioning bastard of the barrel about probably one of the only barrel kids to have at least started out with a "normal", happy nuclear family...

and it just makes me think: kaz is deliberately written not to be better than people say he is, but just bad in different ways. he is not good or virtuous or compassionate; the point of having people say things that are not true about him isn't to make a point of his completely different nature.

so the point of it can only be to emphasize how nobody really knows him. to draw attention to his absolute isolation. and maybe to give more credit to how much his 'armour', which is supposed to protect him by keeping everyone away, really only serves to keep him away from everyone else.

[bigskydreaming]

Will never forgive the MCU for making Peter and Tony joined at the hip because of what amounts to less than a year's worth of Bendis storylines that shoved them into a weird dynamic that never made a ton of sense and also has practically never been referenced in the comics since.

[winter-1023]

Soooooo…

Office romance anyone?????

[ash-short-for-trash]

honestly i hate tony stark so fucking much, i saw a post talking about how clearly steve is in the right during captain america: civil war and resparked by outrage at tony in that movie and just in general

like the sokovia accords clearly violate the human rights of enhanced individuals and steve has a very strong sense of justice, when he sees people being mistreated he steps in, that’s why he’s such a good hero and tony want to sign them because he feels bad about a person they couldn’t save. that one of tony’s big problems, he can’t accept that he cannot save every single person but steve is a soldier he understands that he can’t save everyone, it sucks and he wishes he could but he can’t so he just tries the best he can to save as many people as he can

and honestly tony has no right to be like “we have to sign away people’s basic rights because the robot i built turned evil and we couldn’t save every single person” like bitch you were a weapon’s dealer for years i absolutely hate the way pietro and wand maximoff are treated in the mcu cause taking two jewish and romani characters and stripping them of their identities and having them work for the fucking nazis is disgusting but they have every right to hate tony

tony’s weapons have probably killed thousands and after he decides to stop making weapons instead of using all his money to help those whose his weapons have hurt he decides to build a super suit to fight crime in LA

also tony isn’t an enhanced individual, he has no fucking right to tell a bunch of enhanced individuals that they should give up their rights

[cease-your-release]

Another Not-so-Willing Associate

Out on the hunt for your next victim, your plans are cut short by a mysterious swine-faced figure. After a stress-filled chase and classic forest floor scuffle, you may just find yourself with a new business partner. (1,582)

Content warning(s): Minor violence, knife and blood mention, light neck cutting, chasing, wrestling

Part 2 of "Conundrum of Carnage" Part 1

Also on AO3!

You’re tracking someone down, walking far behind him on the street. After weeks of preparation, everything is in place, and all you need is the lucky soul. Eventually, when you get an opening and you’re close enough, you grab him and pull them into the alleyway-

When, suddenly, you’re forcefully shoved to the ground.

You stumble, but quickly recover and look up through your mask to see a large figure in a black windbreaker jacket and realistic pig mask, and that is definitely not who you were chasing after. The stranger that has interrupted your plans stares down at you, their grip still on the person you’d been stalking, as you look up at them from where you were laid out on the ground.

Your breath gets heavier as the adrenaline picks up, your heart pumping fast in your chest as hot blood rushes through your veins. You glance from the assailant to your meant-to-be victim, seeing him unconscious as the person holds them up by the coat with one hand like it’s nothing. You’ve had difficult prey before, some who put up a decent fight, but never anything like this. You don’t know who this person is, but they sure as Hell don’t look like a friend of either you or the sleeping body in their grasp.

With no hesitation you get to your feet, then dash past the stranger to run out of the alleyway and to the park across the street.

The figure, mostly likely a man, lets out a low, angered groan, releasing the unconscious person in his hand, causing them to just drop to the ground like a bag of potatoes. He turns and sprints after you, giving chase as you run into the park.

You hear the exclamation, and the ensuing footsteps, loud and heavy on the pavement. You practically dive into the wooded area behind the swing sets, not stopping or slowing despite the branches whipping your arms and legs through your clothes, not that the epinephrine coursing through your body allows you to feel the burn of them, anyway. As you weave between trees and hop over rocks, branches and foliage as you rush through the woods. The hooded figure continues to give chase, barreling into the forested area and crashing through the brush with absolutely no regard for himself, all with the sole focus of reaching you.

Though you’re quick, the figure catches up soon enough. You feel and hear the presence behind you, getting closer while you have nowhere to go but forward, but it’s not enough. You hope that if you just keep going, maybe he’ll get tired, or trip, just one wrong step is all it would-

Your frantic thoughts are cut short by strong arms that wrap around your frame, then the weight that brings you to the ground.

The man quickly mounts you and holds you down beneath his weight, pinning you to the dirt and leaf-littered ground, his hands wrapped tightly around your arms and holding them down. You fight the whole way, obviously, kicking your legs and thrashing your arms. It’s actually pretty difficult for him at the rate you’re going. Even once you’re truly pinned, there isn’t much room to move, though you still try.

He has to adjust his weight over you in multiple directions to keep you from moving too wildly, but the extra effort just seems to frustrate him even more. Suddenly, he wraps a large hand around your wrists and pins them above your head. “Damn it, stop struggling or I’ll snap your arms off!” His voice is deep and muffled by the pig mask covering his face, but the threatening tone comes right through.

You don’t recognize the voice right away, but you hear the command well enough, and that does make you stop, because he definitely seems strong enough to actually do it. That doesn’t at all stop the sheer panic, though. That’s when you see his free hand reach for the mask on your face, and start struggling again, turning your head away frantically.

The fact that you stop struggling doesn’t ease his tone whatsoever, he’s only growing more irritated with every passing second. He tries to grab at the bottom of your mask, to lift it up and off, but seeing your struggle in response causes him to let out an angry snarl, his hand releasing your wrists only to grab your jaw with enough force to make you wince. “Stop it, stop!” he growls, pushing down on your face to try and keep your face steady, “Don’t. Move.”

After a momentary grunt of pain and a short dizzy feeling, you blink your eyes open and think as quick as you can. You take advantage of your new lack of restraint, and in response to your hands being freed, reach up to pull his own mask off. It’s rather easy, given that it’s completely latex and the snout of the pig hangs down rather close. And once you get a good look, you gasp.

All at once, the rage immediately leaves his face as the shock of having his identity exposed washes over him. He freezes completely, with the exception of his eyes widening as he hears you breath of surprise. “…You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Mark Hoffman utters, his voice no longer muffled and now clearly recognizable, just like his face.

Your own mask is pulled off next, revealing yourself to him as well. But, instead of staying in the shock for too long, you quickly reach a hand up, revealing a knife now pressed to his throat.

Mark’s eyes widen further as the cool, sharp edge hit’s his skin, his gaze immediately going panic-stricken. He stares at you with complete bewilderment as he sees that the person he’s been chasing, and now has pinned down beneath him, is you.

“Get the fuck off of me.” You say coldly, but the fear behind it is undeniable.

He raises his hands in surrender, letting go of your face and keeping them visible to you as he starts to slowly lift himself up.

You quickly get yourself to your feet until you’re standing, keeping the blade on him the entire time and backing him up against a tree as he sits, scooting back on his hands. You rip your mask from his grasp and put it back on, staring at him. “I fucking knew you were working with Jigsaw. You’re stupidly obvious, you know that?”

Mark watches you as you put your mask back on, the shock starting to leave his expression as you finish speaking. “You knew?” he asks bluntly, with genuine bafflement to his tone.

“Of course I did. You walk around like you’re untouchable, I can practically smell the self righteousness on you.” You seethe, the anger clear in your voice. “Just like him, aren’t you? All of that ‘technically never killed anyone’ bullshit. Coming from an actual murderer, if you’re gonna do it, own up to it. Coward.”

He narrows his eyes at you as you speak. A myriad of emotions wash over him as he listens to your harsh words. “Self righteous?” He says incredulously, a sharp laugh escaping through his clenched teeth, “You know nothing about me. You have no idea.”

“I know enough.” You retort, pressing the knife further into his neck, breaking the skin just slightly. The small, almost undetectable cut that forms on his neck as a result draws a very thin, small trickle of blood to the surface. “And now, you’ve ruined my kill. I had everything set for that prick, and you messed it up! He’s probably already awake and running to tell the police about it. Not that it matters much to you though, huh, detective?”

That comment causes a scowl appears on his face. He ignores your question, because you’re completely right, and instead continues with a steely tone, “It wasn’t your kill to take.”

“Oh, but it was yours?” You ask incredulously. “Since when are you the one who makes that decision? You fuckin’ cops.. you think everything you say goes, and your moral code is the only one. You’re so full of yourself.”

His glare remains on you silently, a mixture of outrage and frustration evident in his heated stare and tense expression as his hands ball into fists.

You tilt your head at him then, forcing yourself to calm down with a deep breath. “It seems like we’re in a situation here, detective…” You muse, looking him up and down, though he can’t see that through the mask. “You know who I am, but I know what you are. You can’t snitch on me, because you know I’ll talk. So… I’d say you’re under my thumb now.”

The frustration and anger on his face falters slightly, his eyebrows pinching upward a little before he can collect himself. His jaw grinds, and he looks entirely unhappy with that predicament. “You wouldn’t.” he spits, but his voice lacks certainty.

A small laugh escapes you at that. “You’ve read my cases, you know damn well how much I would.” You snap back, leaning in a bit closer as your voice drops. “It’s been a pleasure seeing you on this fine evening, partner.”

The word comes off like a taunt, making his glower at you darken even further. But that’s about all he can do. You’re right, and he knows it.

Once again, the detective finds himself being another not-so-willing associate to yet another serial killer.

[ihatethiswebsite77]

So in defense of Ginger Cow.

I know people's big grip with this episode is Cartman's behavior, and I get it... To an extent.

We know Cartman likes fighting with Kyle because Kyle is usually the only person who is going to give Cartman the kind of reaction he seeks to be given.

But I think it's also important to remember that Cartman is a little sadistic bastard. Cartman doesn't enjoy ripping on Butters instead of Kyle because Butters just happily agrees with him. Cartman doesn't enjoy ripping on Kyle about basketball once the coach rejects him because Kyle genuinely agrees with what the coach has told him.

But in Passion of the Jew Cartman does enjoy hearing Kyle agree with him after watching the movie. Because in that moment Cartman feels as tho he won a round of their little game. He beat Kyle and he gets to enjoy the fact that he is the cause of his beat down attitude.

Because what Cartman really enjoys the most about his interactions with Kyle, is that Kyle puts up a fight. So the only time Cartman can enjoy a lack of "resistance" from Kyle is when he feels like he has personally beaten Kyle in a round of the game that is their rivalry.

He doesn't want Kyle to happily agree with him (Like Butters does) . But he also doesn't want Kyle to give up (like he does when the coach tells him he can't play basketball). Because that would mean that he hasn't won, because what is winning if Kyle isn't acting like he lost?

He wants to fight with Kyle, and he wants to beat Kyle in those fights of theirs. The same way Kyle wants to beat him. So it's not crazy to think that he would act this way after finally having "beaten Kyle". As long as he beat a Kyle who put up a fight and not one that didn't, and as long as that Kyle is actually acting like he lost. I think it's safe to say that he would get pretty bored of this farts thing relatively quickly and they would go back to "playing another round" of their game/rivalry.

Viewing their entire dynamic like a game where Player 1 and Player 2 compete in an endless amount of rounds feels pretty accurate to me. Because as much as either of them like that moment of triumph that comes with having won a round, they still want to go back to playing the next one.

I think the only place where this episode does mess up a bit is in the way it's plot requires Kyle to not say anything in protest to Cartman. So it's not unreasonable for people to see this as mischaracterization of Cartman, and his dynamic with Kyle at first. Because you can't tell immediately that the thing Cartman is relishing in is the fact that his "victory" is immensely pissing Kyle off. But If you look deeper into, and reframe your view it really does make sense for Cartman to act his way.

TL;DR: Kyle doesn't verbally push back on the things Cartman does and says in this episode. But it's not really out of Cartman's character to enjoy the type of dynamic him and Kyle have in this episode, because Kyle is very clearly not ok or happy with what is happening. And that in itself is another part of their dynamic that Cartman, as evident in many episodes (see tags for another reference too), finds amusement in. Cartman does want Kyle to talk back to him, fight him on his statements, but Cartman also wants to beat Kyle, and have Kyle be humiliated by that loss. Cartman is one sadistic person. And I have seen a lot of people say that him enjoying Kyle's "submissive attitude" in this episode is out of character for him. And I say that's wrong, because what he is finding amusement in isn't that attitude. Because the kind of "submissive attitude" Kyle presents in this episode is not the one Cartman hates and has shown to hate. He hates Butters' submissive attitude in Smug Alert. The one with a cadence of facing ridicule and insults with acceptance and positive attitude and little to no negative reaction or emotion. What Cartman finds amusement in here is that he knows Kyle hates what is happening. Even tho Kyle has to behave as tho he is happy with eating his farts. Cartman knows that's not really the case. They're fundamentally different.

[bethrnoora]

clasps my hands together. apprentice gabriela.

[rubiatinctorum]

the whole cultural idiot thing is part of why i find a lot of too-online musicals discourse absurd. the wise and brilliant critic is aware that dear evan hansen's evan hansen isn't very niceys, and the founding fathers weren't very niceys, and mr hyde and the opera ghost and sweeney todd aren't very niceys. but the critic also believes that the rest of the audience is a) fucking stupid. and b) so liable to be so mesmerized by the little songs and dances that they will leave the production believing that evan hansen was a hero and alexander hamilton in real life was a hero and erik poto was a hero. at some point we must recognise the other members of the audience were both not born yesterday and are here for an interesting experience, and yes, a crafted story, same as the critic thinks themselves to be, and they will not all pour out onto the streets to do great interpersonal violence because they saw a man on the stage do so.

and it's just like. funny to me. on some level. because as much as it boils my carrots to see bad takes about musicals i enjoy posturing as genuine analytical essay material rather than a scandalized reading of a summary (say essay and i WILL be checking for your thesis statement, your point evidence explanation, etc), it also doesn't escape me that the cognitohazard production that people are saying should not be allowed to exist because of the harm it is perpetuating is also the progenitor of such dangerous lines as "i'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees." PLEASE be real for a minute.