#fictive rambles

[fictive-culture]

i just need. to ramble about my system for a moment. sorry that this is so long. god i love them

so. i was a Villain in my source. like, irredeemable killer kind of guy. I participated in what was essentially a fantasy genocide. I was a soldier, and i was PROUD of myself. I killed a princess of the people I was trying to wipe out; as a result I got my memories wiped and was placed in some sort of death game.

In my own, noncanon memories of source, I was also a system. There were only two of us, but we HATED each other. He hated how I hurt people and felt no remorse. I hated how weak he was. Eventually, our fighting came to a head when we returned home one day to find our entire village on fire. We never found our parents. I blamed him for leaving in the first place, for not being able to protect everyone. For 15 years, I forced him into dormancy. He only re-emerged once our memories were wiped.

When my sourcemates and I got introjected it was DIRECTLY before what we kind of consider my "turning point" as a character- when my memories flooded back and I killed one of my best friends in cold blood. Because he was One Of Them, and i couldn't be friends with One Of Them. Most of the time when people get introjected into this system we still live out our source lives for a bit inside headspace until someone has the energy to explain to us where we are and what's going on. I very nearly went through with killing that friend here in this system- they had to physically hold me back in headspace. My alter, the nice one, got his own form in headspace and used his own body to shield that friend. I wanted to hurt BOTH of them.

For several weeks I was kind of placed under constant watch by the local gatekeeper (a fictive of a protector god). But.... they weren't horribly mean to me? They were prickly, yes, but.. well, I wasn't there for it, but a long time ago our system had a whole deal with a gang of persecutors trying to harm the rest of the system- everyone managed to just slowly talk them down and reach an understanding, and since then we've had this philosophy that NOBODY in this system deserves to be hated, or locked away, or hurt, no matter how much they're hurting others. We can always figure something out- hurting them will only make them want to hurt us more. Compassion is the strongest route to change, at least here. They applied that to me- they wouldn't force me to befriend anyone, and wouldn't expect me to be especially nice, but I wasn't allowed to hurt anyone. And in turn, nobody was allowed to hurt me. They protected me from the others just as much as vice versa, since... none of my sourcemates in the system were particularly happy with what I'd done.

I don't even really understand how it happened at this point. I can kind of barely remember it all (for reasons outside of the system). But slowly, over time, my sourcemates started to warm up to me? They started allowing me to be near my previous alter, now turned brother I suppose. Neither of us liked it much, but we didn't hurt each other. And when I started feeling emotions other than anger and hatred for possibly the first time in over a decade, they... were all there for me?

The sister of the princess I killed was also in the system. She was furious with me about it- she even joined that source death game willingly just so she could kill me in there. But she got her memory wiped too, so she never got the chance. If I had succeeded in killing my friend, she would've been my next target. In the system, she straight up hated me, refused to be around me. I still didn't feel bad about anything I'd done or intended to do. We fought. A Lot. Over time, everyone else in the system tried to show me the people I was trying to wipe out were, well, people, and I slowly started to see why I was wrong. And then all of it hit me at once. Oh god, I nearly killed one of the few people who truly believed in me, someone who loved me and I had loved him back before I remembered who i was, and I had killed so many people in the past and laughed about it, and i had killed this woman's sister and then taunted her about it, and oh fuck what is wrong with me. And... I don't even know why. I think it was because she literally could not get anyone else in front. But she had to be there for me as it all came crashing down on me, and she... kind of stopped hating me. She had to hold me as I cried. And she just... did. She could've left me alone in front to deal with that on my own, but she didn't. I was TERRIFIED of her all of a sudden, believing everything she had wanted to do to me was right and justified and I think I even tried to convince her to go through with hurting me while none of the gatekeepers were looking. She refused. She understood why the gatekeepers were so insistent on keeping the peace, and right there she could see evidence of it working. She said I gave her hope that people can change. I think that scared me even more.

One of my sourcemates trusted me almost the entire time we were in that death game- in my canon finale she finally came up to me and said No, she's done believing in me, she's done helping me, she probably hates me now because of everything I've done. She left me to die, and honestly? I don't blame her. In the system, she was terrified of me. She would start to panic every time she was near me. Sometimes I tried to make it worse. But one day I was in front, starting to panic because I was frontstuck for a doctor's appointment I had no memory of what for. And... she was the one who comforted me. She was the one who helped me back out of front. She was also terrified the entire time, but when I seemed to make it clear I wasn't going to lash out, she settled right in to help. She hated our source- hated how everyone was constantly arguing, hated how many betrayals and backstabbings there were. When we introjected me and all my sourcemates, pretty much everyone else realised there's no reason to fight or distrust each other here and everyone became friends pretty quickly. She was ecstatic about that- she still is. She was kind of sad that I was the only one being excluded. She was determined to help me have that, too.

My alter turned brother really really wanted to attack me for nearly killing our best friend. He was actually the one everyone had to hold back from hurting me the most. And... he was also the first person to believe in me in this system. He thought, since we were a system in source, despite us being so different the things that were a part of him were also a part of me. If he had the capacity to be violent, I had the capacity to be kind. He was the first to try to convince the others to be kinder to me. Eventually I realised the amount of damage I'd done to him forcing him into dormancy all those years. He still believed he wasn't any older than twenty, to a point where in source when people called him old he would actually get scared and confused. He still presents that young in headspace. I'd call us twins if it weren't for that, it's just I'm in my mid-30s and he never even got to experience adulthood. I'm kind of glad that our body here is only just starting our twenties. It's like he gets a second chance. He was the main one trying to show me that the people i hated were in fact people. He's the closest now to our best friend I nearly killed. That friend started to be okay with me as soon as my brother did, he trusted my brother's judgement completely. Both of them were so nice to me. I felt like I didn't deserve it for what I'd done not only in source, but my entrance to the system as well. They tried their hardest to convince me otherwise.

I still feel like I don't deserve any of this kindness, don't fully understand why this has all happened. I still keep going on about how I don't even know if I've really changed, can I really change at all- they remind me that I'm so afraid to hurt anyone now that i won't even pick up a weapon now for like... any reason. That seems like change. I'm protective of them. I actually feel guilt, something I never did before. That seems like change. All of my sourcemates have warmed up to me now, all of us are friends. I love them. I protect them where I can, and in turn they protect me. I've learned how to cry again. I've learned how to laugh again. The first time they saw me genuinely smile here everyone cheered, it was so ridiculous but so sweet. Recently we watched through a playthrough of god of war ragnarok, and that kind of hit me close to home, but then everybody told me specifically to watch the valhalla dlc and it kind of broke me. They all want so badly to prove to me that I have changed and I do deserve this kindness now. I love them so much. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. I'm so glad they were all so damn determined to help me change. Now I do the same for others in the system who are similar to how I used to be. I don't think I can express enough how much they all mean to me. I have a family now, when I was so convinced that after losing my parents I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I feel their love and care around me like a blanket all the time now. I'm never, ever letting that go.

I really, really love this system.

.

[system-of-a-feather]

It's honestly so fucking funny finishing KH2

Cause my unironical mantras I go about is like "Would Sora care about this" and "Growing up is realizing Sora is straight up goals" and I legit forgot a part of the earlier games in Riku's arc is really straight up "I was always jealous of how you were able to live, just following your heart" which "heart" means a lot metaphorical shit in the story but XD

Like there are people that are like "Diverged from course" or what not And like Im distanced from source and what not But god did I NEVER "stray "diverge" from source's character arc even when the source's character arc hadnt even fucking been half way completed when I was introjected and it ironically progressed at the same rate as my recovery arc did XD

[ashtraysystem]

as a fictive I find myself yearning for my source material at times. Wanting for what I know, the rules of my own world..

but at the same time I would miss on the love I have here.

[irlkisukeurahara]

Ever hate someone cause of source trauma and after a year of recovery and you get over it and then suddenly you're like...fuck they're actually hot??? Tf??? Yeah me with Bede fr.

[arachnidcrawl]

Totally normal 10 AM source thoughts

I keep recognizing people on completely different social media help /lh

[mewos-laptop]

Y'all being friends w/ plurals is so fucking funny /pos

Bc tell me why I can be talking to the host, and then out of fucking nowhere Vanny from FNAF pops out and goes "Lmao the children emerge from the holes" and then just fucking dips

I sit down w/ my friend and then they turn into a completely DIFFERENT person right before my eyes and we just continue talking like nothing happens

For fucks sake, I get a front row seat to hosts complaining abt the other people inhabiting their brain like they're annoying roommates in a cramped air BNB

Shout-out to my plural friends. I know if no one's got me, Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa's got me. /Ref /silly

(Positive/affectionate post made by a singlet who loves its plural friends very much /p)

[airy-was-heree]

Having fictives is so funny sometimes like. no he would not fucking say that. he told me so

[the-crystal-femmes]

I think fictionfolk should get free reign to mischaracterize who they are because it's literally them. I don't want to hear a fandom goer getting all mad when I post things "out of character" about Draculaura when, motherfucker, I'm literally her and I know myself well thank you very much. And I think my headmate should be aloud to adamantly claim that Pearl has autism because she's Pearl and definitely has autism

[ketchupandaxe]

*To anyone who thinks their kintype is 'weird' or 'cringe' your kintype isn't 'weird' or 'cringe'! Everyone's kintype is unique and special! That's what makes our community awesome! If you think you're kintype is 'stupid', it's not! Everyone's kintype is awesome and unique!

[irlkisukeurahara]

People who are following me for fandom content and/or don't know anything about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) scroll by this one thank you 🤞

Almost every single one of the fandoms mentioned are things I haven't been into for over a year. You can tell which is which based on my post history.

As a fictive heavy system...

of course there's just regular "rarepairs," like bakuiida, like round here those two have been happily married for years. we also have gonta♦️miu and ichirenruki. they've happily existed in their corner of the headspace void.

But more commonly, at least around here, due to more healthily distancing ourselves from fictivehood, we find more of what one might call "crossover shipping" relationships.

Because our ex that was into dsmp used to be my FP, we ended up forming a lot of dsmp fictives because I felt like I needed them, I guess to please him. I screwed myself over big time there. But now that's said and done, they just sort of exist now in their own way.

Pertaining to the question at hand, the two notable ones are fem!Philza x fem!BBH x fem!Janus (Sanders Sides), and teen!Technoblade x Tubbo x Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho).

Our Remus (Sanders Sides) and Kai (Your Turn to Die) are also dating. And our Byakuya (BLEACH) has the hots for our Leon (Pokémon). There's also Emma (The Promised Neverland) x Toph (Avatar the Last Airbender)

I suppose the factive!Quackity x WildSpartanz x Aksually counts as well for this, though I wouldn't be surprised if people have shipped them before-- I was there for Septiplier after all.

I haven't interacted with most of them for ages, except for Byakuya cause he fronted recently lol. They all just kinda mind their own business in the corner since we've gotten to a point where we hardly switch anymore. But regardless I suppose they're still funny to discuss, and I like dumping about this sort of thing. But DID talk is so hard because people never understand,,,

Hey I have an ask game for the kins and system members! Please tell me about a 'rarepair ship' that exists in your canon, memories, or life which is not commonly shipped in fandom spaces.

[fictive-culture]

Was gonna make this a fictive culture is post to queue but then decided I wanted to make a long thing tw: anti endo mention

Sometimes fictive culture or even just Introject culture is something negative happening related to the source and headmates not showing up till after the bad feeling subside by time

By this I mean that and I don't talk about this often but when we first realized we were a system we were eventually presented with telling our friends, sure there is always the option of not telling they aren't owed that information but for better or worse we hate being friends with people that don't know? We hate hiding ourselves and not being able to be friends with people as individuals rather than a collective. We were horrified and while it went well for the most part, the system I already knew was thankfully supportive of endos and another friend even shot back with a same! There was one friend that wasn't supportive a singlet that was firmly anti endo and one of my best friends at the time. We met on a kin server both being tf2 kin though after realizing we were a system those tf2 kins were for sure not kins. We were both huge fans and would create things for each other fanart, writing. It hurt a lot losing them and even if we didn't have solid proof we knew we had tf2 headmates could feel them even if we couldn't interact with them. It's been nearly two years since then, and they fronted for the first time since learning we were a system in September of last year just a few months ago and we were ecstatic. Just felt like a sign we were healing and we were getting truly comfortable in our shared reality and it felt so nice knowing they weren't trapped any longer we have names and faces to people we couldn't reach for so long and it makes us genuinely so happy to see them on our sp and see their chat messages we can also look at tf2 content without being sad anymore? We can enjoy something we lost for a really long time and I don't know I just wanted to share that with y'all? Things hurt but it lessens over time, if you lost a joy you may be able to enjoy it again one day, if you are worried about a headmate they may return to you one day, if you are that headmate from a source the body has bad memories of know that you will still be missed that you are still wanted and your sysmates will smile and cry and hug you if you returned from disappearing. Sometimes we still miss them, especially one of our tf2 crewmates but we are all much happier knowing they aren't in our life and we aren't trying to fit into their box of what is and isn't okay. Even if we did end up being mostly traumagenic traumaendo the endo part is still so important to us and we and all of you deserve people that accept and love those parts of you too.

[pass1onepr1ncess]

Can I just say "Would we find each other in every universe" is such a different question when you're a fictive in a relationship (of any kind) with other fictives sourced from the same media. Because like, not only would we find each other in any universe but we did. Both in the sense that we had other versions of each other in our respective sources, but we also now have each other. In this universe. That's at LEAST 3 universes that we've reunited in, and if we've come this far why wouldn't the number stop there? Doesn't it only make sense that we'd make our way back to each other every time?

[banesberry-anomoly]

Thinking about the email at the end of incident 239-b again. So many people completly ignore it it even tho it completely flips the context on its head

Sighs dramatically

I need people to stop miscontextualizing incident 239 b when this is RIGHT THERE

Say what you want about how you interpret the events within 239 b happening and which parts you intepret in your canon, but this email is like the crux point, guys please

Can yall even imagine what itd be like for a reality bender as powerful as Clef (in some canons at least) to be influenced by another type green? And then when you look at Clef in his n Kondrakis fight near the end, Clef SPECIFICALLY SAYS 'I dont want to hurt/kill anyone-' like that is in there

Guys please. Rattling the bars of my enclosure. Stop watering Clef down there is layers upon layer of depth here that has been being built upon since early scp. Guys please. BEGGING you to dig into some of Clefs lore more there is so much good stuff

[irlkisukeurahara]

guys i cannot lie as a miles edgeworth fictive I gotta admit that manfred von karma is a based af character

[arachnidcrawl]

I'm like one bad thing happening in my source away from writing a novel-length fix-it fic istg

[spidereye-village]

If someone formed as a fictive from one of our characters, we would be so honored.

And not in a "OMG i get to see my oc irl!!" Type of way.

But more in the fact that, if someone finds enough comfort and emotional attachment to a creation we made, then idk. Feels like we would really make it in the storytelling world. Because fame is overrated over simply having a community where you can really make a difference and matter to people.

So yeah. 👍 that shit is so cool with us if ever to happen.

Rori (Ze/they/he)