#fic: things we don't say | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

devilevlls · 8 months ago

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"In the depths of my soul, you reside."

3,259 words - Minors do not interact

TW 📌: "Satanic" rituals, abuse, explicit language, pornographic content, mentions of sexual abuse, hateful language directed at religious groups, blasphemy, corruption kink, demons being demons, unprotected sex, creampie, gay sex, MC is the bottom, MC trusts him to consume a piece of their soul.

MC is AMAB, I use they/them pronouns to refer to them because that's the way I feel comfortable in describing the character. They are called "boy, young man, son" and so. If you are uncomfortable with any of the warnings, please, do not read. Sumary:

After the former priest was removed due to accusations of sexual abuse, the authority place had to be filled by someone else and Lucifer, who owed a favor to his friend Simeon, took the spot, ministering that Saturday to fulfill his obligation.

He ends up finding a new motivation when he encounters MC, who is in conflict with themselves about their dark thoughts. Their desires and duty are fighting to see who would take the young human and the demon would like to help, with a price.

The sound of the chapel's heavy doors echoed, interrupting the stillness of the afternoon, as the man dressed entirely in black entered, moving with determination and agility, casting furtive glances around to ensure he was not being followed. His long, purposeful steps led him until he stopped in front of a cowering, sobbing, fearful figure.

The young human was kneeling before the bench, hands clasped in prayer, tears flowing freely.

"Why are you crying, son?" The newcomer's hoarse voice cuts through the silence, his imposing red eyes penetrating deep into the boy's soul.

They were startled, interrupting their prayer to look at the one who was getting in the way of their sacred moment.

"Forgive me, sir." They bowed gently, voice trembling.

The elder gentleman stood majestically, dressed in the attire befitting his vocation, exuding an aura of divine elegance.

With a subtle clearing of the throat, they signaled their intention to speak further. “I believe you are the new priest responsible for our humble chapel this saturday. I am your assistant, aspiring priest, a... Deacon.” The human struggle with their words.

"It's nice to meet you, MC." The older man's husky voice delivered a playful tone.

"How do you know my name? I haven't introduced myself yet," MC replied, somewhat intrigued.

"Do not worry. I know everything," the man replied, his enigmatic smile seeming to widen even further. "My name is Lucifer." He took a few steps towards MC, his confident posture and penetrating gaze causing slight discomfort.

A frightening shiver ran down MC's spine, but they forced themselves to maintain composure, standing up and trying to appear receptive, although the nervousness was still evident.

"That's a pretty unusual name for a priest," MC commented, their voice a little shaky as the younger one tried to hide the fear that was beginning to settle inside.

"Do not be scared. I will only stay here while the other priest is being investigated for the rape of the young people in this chapel.”

The mention of the accusation made the boy take a step back, feeling their stomach twist with tension.

"Oh... yes."

"Did he touch you?", Lucifer asked, taking a step forward and reaching for MC's chin, forcing them to maintain eye contact, his imposing presence dominating the surrounding space.

"No, sir. Father Kahleus has always been very kind to me," MC responded quickly, feeling uncomfortable with the unexpected physical contact.

"Humans are so hypocritical, don't you think?", Lucifer continued, his voice filled with cynicism, as he watched MC's reaction with interest.

MC gave a nervous laugh, confused by the direction the conversation was going. "Humans...?", he began, before being interrupted by the tall demon.

"Please, refrain yourself from acting like you don't understand," Lucifer said, his gaze making them uneasy.

Swallowing hard, they turned away from Lucifer, looking down at the ground for a moment before taking a deep breath and gathering the courage to respond.

"Sir, we shouldn't make that kind of analogy in a sacred place like this. Would you like to accompany me, so I can show you your private room next to the tabernacle?"

"Show me the way," Lucifer replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes, watching as MC chose to ignore the reality unfolding before them.

— *

Once inside the room, MC presented all the important documents, financial notes and accessories for the masses that would begin the next day.

"Do you have any questions, sir?" The human asked, briefly meeting Lucifer's gaze before looking away again, feeling uncomfortable under the intensity of those piercing eyes.

"Why were you crying earlier?", Lucifer asked suddenly, breaking the brief silence that hung in the room.

A shiver ran down MC's spine before he could respond. "Father Kahleus was never like that. I feel like the devil tempted him," MC confessed, voice thick with worry and confusion.

Lucifer held back an ironic laugh and sighed, shaking his head. "Are you that naive? People are bad and blaming the devil doesn't make them better," he replied with disarming directness.

"Don't you understand? We have oaths. We all do, and I'm sure you did too," MC insisted, struggling to comprehend the complexity of the situation.

"Many centuries ago, when my wings were still white as snow and my mind corrupted by the ideals of a cowardly creator," Lucifer murmured, a trace of melancholy passing through his eyes.

MC sighed, feeling scared and confused, taking a step back and inadvertently bumping into the coffee table.

"Don't be scared, but I must admit that the more time we spend together, the hungrier I get," Lucifer said, voice filled with a strange sadistic energy, he enjoyed watching his prey connecting the dots and becoming alarmed.

"You... You did this to him?", MC asked, voice cracking at the terrifying possibility.

“Ah… Now you have become aware of who I really am.” He smiled slightly and concentrated for a moment, making his demonic form apparent. “No, I didn’t do anything.”

MC tried to scream, but before they could make any sound, their mouth was immediately silenced by Lucifer's firm, gloved touch, which covered their lips with firm pressure. The demon's gaze conveyed a silent warning, a contained threat that echoed beyond the simple physical gesture. The air around them felt heavy, thick with palpable tension between the two, as MC fought the panic that threatened to wash over. The young human’s eyes widened in despair, but the words were suffocated before they could even come out.

“Let's not make a fuss, okay? You're safer with me than you were with that creep. Unlike him, I know how to keep my dick in my pants instead of molesting innocent young boys and girls.”

MC's eyes widened at Lucifer's explicit language, feeling uncomfortable with the description and lack of shame.

Stopping for a moment, Lucifer was truly stunning, almost mesmerizing, and he was so close already... It made the human's heart race.

The demon sighed and removed his hand from the boy's mouth, looking around before moving away, breaking the physical contact that had left MC so tense. “You don’t look very old, how old are you? Why are you so naive?” “I’m 23 and not a child to be naive.” MC hisses a little offended “I’m aware of what happened, but I can’t believe he would do such a thing.” “Then you are just stupid, young man," He says agressively before changing the subject. "Well, I believe your work is finished for today. I'll see you at mass tomorrow", Lucifer declared, his voice filled with indifference, as if the previous meeting had never happened.

"Why...", MC started to ask, before being interrupted by Lucifer.

"Why, you say? I'm just following orders, nothing more," Lucifer explained as he settled into the office chair, crossing his long legs with an air of nonchalance. "Please leave. You're making me agitated with all this excitement between your legs." Lucifer's final remark made MC feel heat flush their cheeks. “I’m not excited!” They complained.

“I can see your erection from here.” The demon states dismissively, opening one of the reports to analyze.

MC quickly walked away and left the room without saying another word, feeling embarrassed. The encounter with Lucifer left them shaken and confused, questioning how all this could happen in such a sacred environment.

Why didn't the demon attack him or do terrible things to them? These questions echoed in their mind as the panicked figure hurriedly walked to the quarters.

Once there, MC threw themselves on the floor and closed their eyes, trying to banish the disturbing thoughts. The human wondered if it was all just a nightmare or a bad joke, but the firm feeling of Lucifer's hand still hovered over their skin, making them feel indecently warm.

"I wonder if he's really going to minister tomorrow…", MC muttered to themselves, voice filled with uncertainty and apprehension.

They feared what the next day might bring.

—*

The other day, in the morning as promised, MC entered the private room before mass to organize all the accessories, but was surprised to find Lucifer dressed for the celebration, his attire highlighting his magnetic beauty even more. So handsome... So tempting.

"What...?", MC began, their shaky voice reflecting the confusion at seeing the demon there.

Lucifer turned and sighed, recognizing the human's presence. "You again…", he murmured.

"I'm your assistant. I-I mean... I'm the substitute priest's assistant!", MC hurried to explain, reeling in their own troubled thoughts as they watched the demon button his shirt and put on his chasuble with a disconcerting naturalness.

"So nervous early on. This way you won't make it through the rest of the day," Lucifer teased, approaching the young man with an intimidating presence. "Can we go or are you going to keep devouring me with your eyes? I thought you had a vow of chastity to keep."

MC stepped back looking away to avoid the temptations Lucifer offered. "We may proceed. The faithful are arriving," they replied quickly, trying to maintain the composure.

—*

It was truly surprising to watch Lucifer lead the mass. He delivered speeches and read bible verses as if had memorized them in his mind centuries ago. Well, in a way, he actually had them. After all, he was once an angel before becoming that.... Thing.

MC found themselves staring at him as he continued with the ministration, unable to look away. Lucifer's beauty was mesmerizing, every movement elegant, every word spoken with authority. Even though they knew who he really was, MC couldn't help but admire, getting lost in the details of his sculpted body and magnetic aura.

They tried to push away the conflicting thoughts, focusing on the church service that was taking place in front of them. But despite the efforts, the demon's presence continued to exert an undeniable fascination over them.

After concluding the morning mass, they both retreated to the private room once more, where Lucifer intended to change.

"And with that, I'm free from this stupidity," Lucifer remarked with disdain.

"But there's still Sunday mass," the other replied.

"I couldn't care less. Saturday was my agreement, and I've fulfilled my part," Lucifer retorted coldly.

"Please, I don't know how I'll find another priest!" they pleaded, their voice tinged with desperation before clearing their throat. "Not that you're truly a priest, but..."

"Perhaps I could assist... for a price," Lucifer interjected.

The human sighed disapprovingly. "And what do you want, demon?"

"Fear not, nothing of a carnal nature unless that's what you desire. Just a small sampling of your soul. It won't be painful..." Lucifer's voice dripped with mockery, knowing full well it would inflict torment.

"Okay... but..." They fidgeted nervously. "What if I desire... to explore something more?" The young man struggled to articulate their thoughts, aware that the words might inadvertently reveal the weight of something deeply personal. Despite the embarrassment that lingered, they saw this moment as an opportunity to confront a long-standing question that had lingered since their teenage years: exploring intimacy with someone of the same sex.

"More...? Pray, enlighten me," Lucifer responded, already aware of the human's desires but relishing in their embarrassment nonetheless.

"What if I desire... to be intimate with you?" they whispered, their cheeks flushing crimson.

"Ah, you are a naughty one," Lucifer chuckled, crossing his arms. "Very well, then. You've piqued my interest enough to indulge your curiosity."

Lucifer drew nearer, enveloping them in his embrace, arms around their waist, and swiftly initiated a fervent kiss, his tongue forcing the other to yield while they squirm, their kisses growing sloppy.

"Ngh..." the human moaned softly.

"Hush," Lucifer whispered, pulling them closer until their backs met the desk, eliciting a startled squeak. "We wouldn't want anyone overhearing, would we?"

The boy felt his heart thundering as they attempted to match Lucifer's fervor, but this was, indeed, their first kiss. Delicate hands roamed frantically over the demon's back, grasping at his clothes, while their legs trembled, on the verge of collapsing.

Observing the human's struggle, the avatar of pride seized their waist and gently positioned them on the table, slipping his hands beneath the fabric of the shirt to caress the delicate skin underneath.

The young assistant was already swept up in excitement, their cheeks ablaze as they breathed heavily. Their eyes darkened with lust, body craving more with every heartbeat. There was a slight twitching inside their pants and Lucifer noticed right away, brushing his long finger on top of it.

Lucifer leaned in closer, their lips grazing the human's ear as they whispered in a low, sultry tone, "You're quite eager, aren't you?"

They shivered at the sensation, their whole body tingling with anticipation. "I... I want..." stuttered the assistant, their voice barely a whisper as desire flooded their senses.

With a smirk, the demon gently lifted their chin, his gaze locking with the assistant's as he whispered, "Tell me exactly what you want." Swallowing hard, their heart race in their chest. "I want... I want to feel you," they confessed, voice trembling with a mix of nerves and longing.

A predatory gleam sparked in Lucifer's eyes as he leaned in, capturing the assistant's lips in a searing kiss. They melted into each other again, the heat of their desire igniting a flame that consumed them both.

The demon quickly starts undressing, taking off his clothes and tossing around before doing the same with them, until they are only with their underwear. Feeling both exposed and exhilarated, the human experienced a rush of courage as they reached out, their finger tracing along Lucifer's firm chest and abdomen. His physique wasn't overly sculpted, but it was undeniably defined in a way that stirred desire within them. It was fucking sexy.

Biting their lip, they chastised themselves for entertaining such thoughts about him. Yet, with every movement, their mind spun with vivid imaginings of what lay beneath his clothing, igniting a wild frenzy of desire that threatened to consume them completely.

“Now let's begin…” Lucifer cast a spell, conjuring a bright red light that momentarily dazzled the priest assistant. As their vision cleared, they blinked in surprise to find Lucifer holding a bottle of lube in his hand.

MC's cheeks flushed crimson with a mixture of arousal and astonishment. "What... what did you just do?" they stammered, their voice betraying a blend of curiosity and anticipation.

“I just got something to assist you.” He spreads some of the liquid on his hand and comes closer, sliding their underwear down. “Now, be a good boy and spread your legs for me.” As they opened their legs, Lucifer adjusts himself in between, sliding the underwear off his body, making the hardened shaft plop against his abs. The human widened their eyes, admiring how thick and perfect it looked. It was way better than they could ever imagine. Taking a deep breath to steady themselves for what would come next, they fix their gaze on Lucifer as he spread the lube over himself with deliberate care.

Anticipation coiled in the air between them as he stepped closer, now caressing their thighs. “Hold into me and enjoy your ride.” His low voice echos into their mind.

As Lucifer aligned himself and pushed into their entrance, MC gave a sharp intake of breath, instinctively clinging to the demon as a wave of intense pain surged through them. Tears welled in their eyes, and a soft sob escaped their lips, the sensation overwhelming and unexpected.

"Oh, do not cry," Lucifer murmured with a smirk, his voice a blend of amusement and a hint of something more complex. Despite his earlier taunt, there was a surprising gentleness in his actions as he continued to push himself deeper,the movements careful and deliberate, attuned to the human's sensations.“I almost feel pity of you.”

As the older man's hips pressed against theirs, the human's moans and pants grew louder, caught in a mix of pain and pleasure unlike anything they had ever experienced before.

With each thrust, MC's member pulsed with desire, coating their belly with slick pre-cum, a testament to the overwhelming arousal that coursed through them both.

"L-Lucifer... I..."

“Already?” Lucifer teases, moving faster and pushing forcefully inside them. They didn’t answer, only digging their nails into Lucifer’s back, nodding while moaning desperately.

Seeing the opportunity, the demon smiles sadistically and turns into his demon form, dark wings spread, growling like a wild animal. His tone was demonic, it had something almost disturbing in it. Without a word, he sinks his fangs into the boy's shoulder, the sudden surge of pain and pleasure caused the boy to gasp and squirm uncontrollably, their body convulsing with ecstasy as they release their load, splattering a mess across both of them in a wild climax of desire and darkness. As Lucifer indulged in consuming the ecstatic piece of soul, relishing its delectable taste, he exercised restraint, ensuring not to take too much.

It was a corruption that came so natural, so enticing, it only fueled his insatiable hunger further. With each taste, he felt himself sinking deeper into them, reveling in the delicious sensation of it all.

He couldn’t hold himself anymore.

He grips into their hips, his nails digging into their skin as he thrust himself deeper with a primal ferocity, ignoring the human's pleas for respite as they get overstimulated, he moved with an unrestrained urgency, becoming increasingly feral as he relentlessly massaged their prostate with his tip. With a primal roar of release, the avatar of pride surrendered to the overwhelming intensity, emptying his pent-up load deep inside them. Groaning and trembling from the sheer magnitude of the moment, he gasped desperately, seeking solace in the warmth of the human's neck as he nuzzled against it. That was the most vulnerable moment of Lucifer, the afterglow. Holding their body tightly, Lucifer ensured they couldn't escape from his corruption, his embrace a mixture of possessiveness and longing, binding them together in the aftermath of their shared descent into darkness. "Hells..." he murmured, his voice heavy with satisfaction. He threatens backing away but gets pulled back into the embrace.

"Please... Don't go yet," the human pleaded, their breath still coming in ragged pants as they hugged him back.

"Listen... I'm just here because I was in debt with a friend of mine, so I had to hold a stupid mass, now that I'm done with it, I will go back to Devildom. I'm just catching my breath," Lucifer explained matter-of-factly.

"Oh... So I'm not going to see you again?" There was a slight hint of sadness in their tone.

"What? Are you switching sides now? Want me to take you to hell with me?" Lucifer smirked, nuzzling against the MC's neck once more, inhaling their sweet scent mingled with salty sweat.

"No! Of course not. How could I...?" they replied, their tone falsely offended.

"Don't deny me like we didn't just... you know, fucked" Lucifer teased, his smirk widening as the human blushed and caressed the back of his neck.

“D-Don’t say such a thing.”

"Since you are so inspired… Maybe I could indulge you in a second round, but I don't think your human body will handle me again," Lucifer suggested, his voice laced with amusement.

"Please... Again," they whispered eagerly, desire evident in their eyes.

"Guess I will visit you more, human," Lucifer agreed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

With smiles exchanged between them, they resumed their passionate embrace, forgetting the world outside the private room as they risked getting caught in the most sinful act they could ever do.

Ok, this took me too long... I really really really hope you guys liked it. ＞﹏＜ AO3 version OH! And thanks for the 300 followers! You guys are amazing, thanks for the support, for rebloging my stuff and interacting in the posts, I'm loving every part of it.

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akemiiya · 2 months ago

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i think a lot of the soulless clover revival fics that make them start to kill in the very first reset does not give clover (or flowey) nearly enough credit

#there's one fic I read that had a good justification for it but the rest..... hm #clover is not going to start killing people just because they can't feel emotions as strongly as they used to now #especially if this is post true pacifist clover we are talking about #it took flowey exhausting literally every other option just for him to even start to consider the thought of killing #and even then he didn't like the idea of it. the entire buildup to it he was saying I don't like this and trying to justify it to himself #for someone like clover who so strongly believes in the good of monsterkind I think it would take them at least as long as flowey to break #if not longer #and who's to say that they would even start killing in the first place #flowey started killing because everyone around him was predictable and did the exact same things every time to the point of boredom #but clover has flowey. friendly or not friendly flowey still remembers resets and wouldn't do the exact same thing every reset #flowey's very existence would prevent clover from reaching the same level of boredom that flowey did because there's always something new #at the end of the day clover and flowey are different people that will react to the same situation differently #to make it work you can't just retread flowey's experience. you have to consider how clover would react and change the situation accordingl #that's what I think anyways. cool concept but execution falls short more often than not imo.#my ramblings

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago

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s5 episode 7 thoughts

(voice cracking) hey guys. how are you doing? because i’m fine. actually super incredibly fine. have never been better, in fact. (heavy on the /s)

this episode feels so final, in a way. there is before this episode and after it, and there is no going back. and we have had plenty of those episodes that involve a shedding of innocence, but we’ll reach a point where you think, surely it cannot get worse than this. and you’ll never guess what happens next: somehow, it does.

sniffs. scully always chooses love, bro. and mulder chooses her and therefore chooses love. and they choose each other. and they deserve to be happy, to be a happy little family.

take me back to around 14 hours ago, when i pressed play on this episode immediately after watching the previous one, not even bothering to make this writeup until now, because i was too invested:

okay. so yes. i broke my rule and i’m watching this episode right away. and yes i feel sick. (author’s note to past self: girl if you felt sick then imagine how you feel now LMAOOOO)

“it begins where it ends…. in nothingness. a nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded” <- girl what are we opening with? she's in these black robes, striding across sand...

is she looking at death itself??? again?? how many times must this happen??? is SHE death itself???

she picks up her necklace… and declares herself alone, as ever. but you're not alone, scully!

bum bum bum bum… intro time…

mulder, please come and provide emotional support if nothing else. you are desperately needed

YES, HE IS HERE!!!!!! he is watching scully watch emily color.

OHHHH MY GOD. hold on. she introduces him to emily as her friend, and he immediately is making funny faces to get emily to laugh. stop. i need to be sedated.

he notices her cross necklace on emily. and he doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to, because that says enough. the cross that hung from his neck when she was gone, returned to her as she returned to life, and now placed around the neck of this little girl.

he had frohike hack into the system to find her surrogate mother omg… frohike is an ally… her birth mother is named anna fugazzi…. fugazzi is a slang term for fake??? he thinks they made a whole fake profile to hide her origins??

oh my god….

mulder is telling her that being around emily is incredibly dangerous; whoever it was that killed her adoptive parents would clearly go after her next. “i can protect her, too” “yeah, but who’s gonna protect you?” <- PLEASE KILL ME IT WOULD HURT LESS

“i’ve considered that, but i‘ve also considered that there’s only one right thing to do” <- ohhh, scully and her Need to do the Morally Correct Thing……… it’ll haunt me forever. she's willing to drop everything she has in her life to give this child a better life. and she didn't even knew she existed until a few days ago.

man, i miss s1 sometimes. bitch take me back…

HE CAME TO TESTIFY AT HER HEARING TO ADOPT HER??? and he says he shouldn’t have come because he doesn’t want to see her hurt like emily's adoptive parents were 😭😭😭 but he did. because he supports her through anything. and he knows that this poor little girl was never supposed to happen.

this man is nervously cracking sunflower seeds outside the hearing room. and bill is glaring at mulder like he didn’t just fly down here to save the day. fuck him for real.

oh, this judge guy is immediately tearing into his facts about the abduction. this never stops happening to mulder when he presents his theories. it must be getting old.

she was gone for four weeks when she was abducted. did we ever know the length of time?? huh. not sure if i picked up on that if we did.

he cannot explain to this guy why anyone would do this to scully and put the child up for adoption, but that is her child!!

“not in any legal definition” “well, if you can show me a precedent for this case, i’d like to see it” <- ohhhh tell him!!!

ohhh my god... “dana has known for quite some time that she can’t bear children. she hasn’t known why. now, however that happened, the fact that she can adopt this child- her own flesh and blood- is something i don’t feel i have the right to question, and i don’t believe anybody has the right to stand in the way of” <- that is best friendship. they love each other so terribly. terrible in the sense of a storm, or a natural disaster, in the sense of love being a force

oh my god man hold on. hold on. so had they talked about it before?? how she couldn't have kids?? and did he tell her why?? i don't think he did, because she is looking on at him with such horror as he shares these facts

there is such a terrible feeling of never being able to go back to before associated with all of this…

mulder is at bill’s house now, fidgeting with their nativity, while scully descends from the stairs. she was helping tara get into bed. oh my god. she loves her family so much.

OHHH the big reveal: “why didn’t you tell me? mulder?” “i never expected this. i thought i was protecting you” <- so she never knew that he knew… which is why she looked so horrified when she heard him say that to the judge…

he thought he was keeping her safe??? because he must have known that these people were willing to kill to keep their experiments in order. it reminds me of when he was at the evil honey farm and the alien said the clone children don't need parents....... the utter lack of humanity...

he says he knew children were being created, but not for who or for what purpose. :(

she gets a call, seemingly with no one on the other end, and with one look he has his phone on him, calling to get it traced. their ability to communicate without language is fascinating. within seconds, he has the location

it’s the children’s center where emily’s being held!!!

so is it still the ghost of melissa calling them somehow?? or is there an informer in there???

they’re at the door of the children's center right away!!!! is someone going to hurt emily????? they barge right in despite it being the middle of the night

emily’s in bed, with a horrific fever. mulder picks her up (oh my god, this made me feel terriblly emotional things) and he notices there is something on her neck.

IT IS A TERRIBLE GREEN POISON LUMPY THING?????

the doctor says there is some kind of infection, and they’re having the thing on her neck biopsied.

there’s an awful pause as they're standing outside the hospital room, and he asks if they are the parents…. mulder steps to the side and lets her say that she is the mother, which is so insane to hear, while mulder watches, terribly worried.

he watches as they’re about to cut the thing on her neck…. but he realizes it is the green alien blood (which he can see, so NOT red/green colorblind) and starts banging on the door, telling the doctor to get away!!! but she doesn’t listen!!! the doctor collapses right then and there from the exposure to the alien blood gas, while they look on in horror.

so emily is one of the alien hybrid children... i had thought that those were all clones, but i guess there are some unique ones as well. or maybe the ones we have seen in the past all shape-shift to look the same? CSM, this is your fault. evil has a face and a name and he writes bad fiction.

emily is on a mild sedative, and the ER doctor somehow made it. scully asks mulder how he knew what was going on, and he says he had the doctor put in an ice bath like she did when he was exposed :( he remembered.... :(

the dr. calderon that emily was seeing before refuses to transfer her information over!!! and says that scully has no authority over this child!!!! he is straight up willing to let her die.

she refuses to leave her.

mulder is sent instead to interrogate him; he asks what he can say to convince dr. calderon to convince him to transfer the files over. but dr. calderon says it’s about business reasons. mulder asks how much money is worth letting this child die.

OHHHHHH HE IS THROWING HANDS…..

holy fuck, i need a moment. he calls calderon and his team "medical rapists", a term i was previously unfamiliar with, and says now they’re just going to let her DIE??? AND HE PULLS OUT A GUN???

“why don’t you tell me whose life is worth saving, yours or hers!!” <- DAMN!!!

mulder is willing to kill for scully and that baby she just learned existed... i need a moment

he only puts his gun away because the police are at the door… but he’s gonna follow him.

meanwhile, emily is watching cartoons while scully is in scrubs. she wants to talk to emily… she’s explaining that she has to do some tests. "mommy said no more tests" <- now what does that mean?

they insert the child into the machine. poor scully watches.

god, scully must feel so strange at the moment. and she gets flashbacks to her abduction from hearing the MRI machine beeping….

dr. calderon is running into a fancy gated home. and the other men who were watching scully before are here!!!!!

OH MY GOD???? THEY STABBED THE DOCTOR'S NECK WITH THE NEEDLE, AND THE GREEN GAS CAME OUT???

and the other one morphed into calderon??? SO THEY’RE THE ALIENS????

but mulder is here……..

(i’m torn between genuine devastation and the sheer absurdity of this plot)

back at the hospital, we learn emily has some sort of infection into her brain that is expanding along her nervous system

and the guy who is pretending to be calderon is here!!!

scully and the real doctor are talking medicine, what can and cannot be done for her.

NO WHAT? THE ALIEN THAT TOOK CALDERON'S FACE IS HERE WITH THE NEEDLE GAS STUFF??? he just left emily's room……

scully's going after this guy, but he switches faces the minute they catch him!!!!!

mulder is still tailing the people from the pharmaceutical company. he tells scully he doesn’t think they want emily dead either, but for different reasons… they want their experiment to work, i assume is what he implies, but he hangs up then to go do some more tailing.

detective kresge is here!!!! scully tells him she thinks these men killed emily's adoptive parents because they stopped doing the tests!!! and that must be why that mysterious man came in to see her!!!!

i’m ready to see some heads roll over this whole matter.

mulder lets himself into the weird huge gated house he saw dr. calderon go into, which seems to be an nursing home, with a label on a shelf for a. fuggazi. she’s a real person???? and she’s 71 years old???

but now emily is getting worse, with the growth spreading; it is killing her. the doctor says they should be grateful she isn’t in pain.

chambliss shows up to tell scully that the court is freaked out that she’s making choices for emily, but she points out that she is “a medical doctor, and the decisions that i make are reasonable and right” and we know this to be true!!!

OHHHH MY GOD chambliss says that she has no authority, and scully says that if they take her out of the hospital, she will have it known that all of them are responsible for emily's worsening health…… holy fuck

“what do you want me to tell them you’re doing for her?” “i don’t know yet. but i will” <- she thinks there has to be hope…. :(

frohike is on the phone!!!! mulder is reading the names of the women in the nursing home, while frohike looks them up. and somehow they all gave birth to children in the last few years??? despite being 70+ years old????

and frohike wants to know if they are attractive. mulder says he might have a shot with these ones LMAO <- rare moment of levity in what may be the darkest fucking episode of all time

these elderly women are being prescribed estrogen and progesterone, which are in abundance in pregnant women……….

anna comes to mulder and says she wants to start her beauty sleep??? and it’s taken years off of her appearance??? do the aliens turn them young somehow??? and then use them to have children???

holy fuck. horrific commentary on the intersections of reproductive rights and elder abuse....

emily is now being inserted into a new tube for testing, with scully saying she will be right there the whole time. the air in the tube hurts emily's ears??? and makes her veins pop out??????? she is yelling at the doctor to stop running the test, but i don't even really understand what is going on, beyond that emily cannot handle it

mulder is still at the nursing home, where he finds a bunch of the old women in bed, attached to IVs with the hormones he mentioned earlier!!! so they get the IVs in their sleep and then they... no, it's too disturbing to even say

so he looks in the fridge and inside he finds some papers…. HUH???? it has scully’s name on them???? and inside is ANOTHER BABY IN A TUBE????

what the fuck??? this is messed up!!!!

he also finds vials of the green stuff that you use to kill the aliens!!!! but now the shapeshifting alien guy from before is here!!!! so he's running out with the vials!!!

but detective kresge is here and stops mulder!!!!! IS THE DETECTIVE WORKING FOR THE ALIENS???

NO!! kresge is trying to keep him safe!!! the alien picks him up and tosses him like a rag doll!!!

but kresge gets up and shoots him despite mulder’s many warnings, so he hisses as his alien body releases that toxic green gas!! NO, KRESGE!! you were mean at first, but i grew to like you!!!

the alien takes kresge’s face and dips while mulder is trying to get backup!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor scully is watching emily through the window; she has gone into a coma. mulder suddenly arrives. but before mulder can say anything, she claims she’s okay.

“but if you could treat her?” “i wouldn’t. i wouldn’t do it to her” “are you sure?” <- oh my god? is she going to take her off of life support? does she think it is wrong to keep her alive with no quality of life? we know she believes that in her own will... is she realizing there is nothing she can do? and why does she always lead with "i'm okay" when she isn't?

“mulder, whoever brought this child into this world didn’t intend to love her”

“i think she was born to serve an agenda” (a horrific thing for a human to be)

“i have a chance to stop that. you were right. this child was not meant to be”

but she is. she is here. and she doesn't have much longer.

he rubs her back and says he’ll stay with her. STOOOOOP

but she says she’d like to be alone. so he quietly walks away.

oh my god. he was going to stay with her while she watched her baby die... but she said she wanted to do it alone.......

he still has that one vial of green stuff in his pocket, and pulls it out in the hallway. while she’s going in to presumable say goodbye. she lays her head next to emily, crawling into her bed. oh my god.

then we see a stained glass window of mary holding baby jesus while scully sits in a pew. maggie is here, asking if she’s ready. she tells her she’ll get a ride back with mulder. and she hugs her family, smiling at tara’s new baby, kissing him on the head.

there is a little casket, and scully stares at it as mulder comes in, laying flowers upon it.

“who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?” “i don’t know. but that you found her… and you had a chance to love her… maybe she was meant for that, too” <- oh my god??? oh my god.

“she found me” “so you could save her” <- and she did save her... she saved her from an unhappy home and unethical experiments and loved her in the week that she knew her, and let her go peacefully instead of suffering....

then she asks about kresge, who somehow made it, but the nursing home has been cleaned out, and no one else knew of calderon’s work. but there is evidence of what they did, she says, staring at the casket.

she takes the flowers, lifts up the lid, and mulder turns around to give her space. but the casket is empty, except for the cross necklace. which she holds, closing her eyes. so they took her body, too???

the sand… the necklace… the opening scene… the parallels… i’m, like, blubbering as i type this

what the fuck!! who came up with this?? it is so fucked up and horrific and why. why. why. why did they make her undergo that and where do we go from here? no seriously, how is she going to just. clock into work the next day. not knowing she had a daughter except for a single week they had together and then she watched her die.

i honestly think scully is a saint because. if someone told me my autonomy had been taken and they made a baby out of me without my consent, i think i would be horrified and want nothing to do with the poor child. i would think, i have no relation to that little person. it was done without my knowledge, and how can i claim any connection to something i never knew?

(i mean, that is all i can imagine i would do; i know nothing of what it feels like to want or have or learn you have a baby. so keep that fact in mind if i don't fully grasp the weight of everything here. but believe me, what i am grasping is weighty enough)

but she said, i have a baby and i need to love her, because the option to make my own decision was denied, but i need to do the right thing. she just barrels in and loves her. no hesitation. and then she watches her die.

and what the fuck?? from a writer’s perspective are they just trying to overtly comment on the lack of women’s healthcare?? because this hits different in the current political climate in a way they couldn’t have seen at the time. and i do feel somewhat inspired to write an essay on the subject. and using the elderly women as incubators... holy hell. it really speaks to the lack of agency women have over their own bodies and the terrifying nature of government intervention into women's healthcare...

mulder showing up right away to testify for her… scully being willing to throw her whole career away for a child she never knew she had… i need a few days and maybe a drink.

where do they go from this? how do you move on from learning you have a child, choosing to love it for the week you knew her, and then watching her die? how do you just go hunt bigfoot after that?

i feel like this show throws too many emotional punches and doesn't give us time to let the aftershocks sink in and the grief be processed. i hope that this time we get that chance.

and oh, how tender both of them were with emily... i just know that if they have kids, that child is going to be so loved... i am gonna cry at the thought. because we have always been able to see that mulder wants a family so desperately, but with scully it was more simmering under the surface until it boiled over, and now she knows what that feeling is like, but it was taken away from her and it can never come back, but maybe someday she can find happiness, and they can find happiness together, and raise a little kid who they can hold and carry and read books to and fuck i'm emotional!!!

i'm thinking about how even way back in season 1 we see them dealing with kids and the foreshadowing to this, this glimpse of what could have been in another life, but what isn't in this timeline. and how he was there for her while she waded through entirely incomprehensible emotions. and again i come back to the fact she chose to love this little girl despite having no knowledge of her.

and how they choose to find meaning in that week they knew her, with mulder telling her that she saved emily, that she let her experience love and happiness. to try and find any purpose to their inexplicably cosmic suffering.

fuck!!!

as always, please tell me what you think!!! what was your reaction when you saw this for the first time?? what was the reaction of the wider public? did you also cry a million tears? did you also cry at the mental image of them having a little baby? has your perception of the episode changed over time? if you have kids now do you cry even more? will chris carter ever work on whatever it is he has going on with making women suffer? i need to know every last detail.

#damn. just staring at my keyboard honestly. what to even say after all of that?#i hope we explore the implications with the appropriate emotional weight they ought to be afforded which usually does not happen #i thought we got that pretty well after the abduction arc but in other areas of tragedy (her dad's death or melissa's death #or the cancer arc or mulder losing his father or his mother having a stroke)#we just kinda. jump into the next thing. and don't let that weight sink in. because i can only imagine you don't recover from that ever #let alone in a week! which is why i think fanfic is great. because they can explore that.#anyway. they need to find a kitten.#please give me 80 fics of mulder trying to be there for her without suffocating her and the inevitable clashing of her being like #“i don't need you to PROTECT me” and then him being like “i'm just trying to be there for you” and then the fighting #and then the crying and then the healing. please and thank you. signed with a heart.#yeah. mulder finds a kitten in the dumpster outside his apartment and they must clean it up.#this is law. it has been written and it is such.#anyway. as always please share thoughts and link to fluff fic.#juni's x files liveblog #5x07 #the x files #txf

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wintaerbaer · 1 year ago

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officially making it my goal to have twds 5 out on the 29th

#realized tonight that i'm in a better spot than i thought i was #but i am going through some personal stuff so i may need to adjust as needed #if not it'll be early january at the latest #fic: things we don't say

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quicktimeeventfull · 1 month ago

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also writing au version of characters is so fun but also so difficult because you are constantly balancing "he would not fucking say that" with "but he WOULD say that if he worked in a coffee shop and drank three free lattes per shift." u know. like if you write them in a way that exactly matches canon they quickly become nonsensical but if you go too far it becomes a different guy altogether. the good news is i have found most readers are way more flexible about interpretations than it often feels like as an author but it is still a nice & occasionally stressful project to try to get it right

#like i genuinely think readers can tell if you put the work in to create a consistent and sensible interpretation #but they don't care as much as people think if that interpretations differs from their own #anyway relatedly im trying to write light in therapy as we speak #i think people care a lot re: meta esp frankly ime regarding light and near specifically #& this sort of freaks authors out bc you see people heavily critiquing certain versions #but i don't think people actually mind that much when it comes to fic #i mean like. maybe im wrong and there are people somewhere seething at my admittedly bizarre au characterizations #but i have only actually had someone say this to me on two occasions #if they're seething in private thats fine that's their right ghjlgh #the ONE thing people constantly get mad at me about is that genshin post for some reason lmao #but thats not a fic

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clumsyclifford · 3 months ago

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the reckless hearts

pairings: michael clifford/calum hood, michael clifford/harry styles (temporary), alex gaskarth/jack barakat, assorted minor pairings

rating: T

total word count: 53.7k

important tags: summer camp support staff AU, strangers to friends to lovers, ensemble fic, friendship, fluff, angst, hookup culture, bittersweet ending, galaxy hair michael

warnings: N/A

summary:

“And you’re what?” Michael asks, before giving Calum a once-over. “Logistics, I bet.” Obviously Michael hadn’t been tuned into his surroundings when Calum had given his brief introduction. “Yeah.” “Mike, I literally told you about Calum,” says Alex. “Did you?” Michael asks. Understanding dawns on his face. “Oh, you’re Calum, Alex’s roommate.”

(Or: summer camp AU, but make it support staff.)

Well. Here it is. The big ensemble summer camp fic I've been writing for over three years. This is the longest fic I have ever written. It is my passion project and my beloved child. Enjoy.

CHAPTER I // CHAPTER II // CHAPTER III // CHAPTER IV // CHAPTER V // CHAPTER VI // CHAPTER VII // CHAPTER VIII // CHAPTER IX // CHAPTER X // CHAPTER XI // CHAPTER XII // CHAPTER XIII // CHAPTER XIV // CHAPTER XV // CHAPTER XVI // CHAPTER XVII

#michael clifford #calum hood #malum #malum fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #oh my fucking god finally #i started this fic over three years ago #almost three and a half #i can't believe it's actually done and i'm actually going to post it and it's actually fucking 53k #it is the longest thing i've ever written and absolutely a labor of love #i have so many fucking things to say and thoughts and feelings i JUST #i don't even know where to start #maybe ill start by saying that all the non-boy pictures in this moodboard are real photos of my own summer camp taken by me #(YES! IT REALLY IS THAT BEAUTIFUL!!!)#summer camp is a magical place you guys don't even know you CAN'T know unless you go #but i hope this fic shares that feeling with you all a little bit #auuughghhhhh im so nervous and stressed! but im doing it anyway!! fuck it we ball!!!#fic posting at 11:20pm is so me #stuff #trh #fic mb #my mb

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yellowocaballero · 1 year ago

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dude psyched ur reading orv, insanely curious about ur takes

My friend @charterandbarter put it best.

ORV is pretty fascinating to me. It's really just a self-insert isekai OP webnovel, and it is nothing else. Its medium is trashy and lowbrow, and its genre is almost devoid of high art. OP isekais are 'id' stories, meant to be satisfying and fun and contain very little of substance. ORV is a very well executed OP isekai - it contains the elements of the genre that make it satisfying, it understands why people read the genre and enjoy it, it reproduces those elements very well, and it is very concerned with telling an enjoyable story. ORV really, really loves webnovels and isekais and shitty wishfuillment stories. There's a lot more to ORV than the 'fist pump' moments of kdj doing something cool or pulling a fast one on a shmuck, but those moments are the undoubtedly the point of ORV, as they are the point of all SIOC isekai OP webnovels. And that's the point of ORV.

Metanarrative stories are cheap. Neil Gaiman's written 30 and millenials love waxing philosophical about the power of narratives. These metanarratives tend to describe stories as a theoretical framework through which we understand the world and our lives. Therefore, stories are tremendously important and valuable because they contain the totality of religion, history, culture, relationships, and lives. ORV says this too. But this theory tends to land at mystifying and exalting stories on virtue of them being stories, which I think misses the point. Stories aren't special because they're stories. They're not more sacred for containing our lives. What ORV says is that stories are important, because our lives are important. I like that a lot more.

ORV says that stories are our way of ordering a disordered world. A history, culture, nation, and religion are stories. None of those stories are true or real, because histories/cultures/nations/religions are constructs - they're how we interface with reality. They're created with a purpose, told for a point, pulled together into a narrative, and are satisfying or dissatisfying based on certain factors. ORV's perspective on fiction is deeply seeped in its own nature as 'low art'. There's something very cynical and commercialized about narratives in ORV, and every narrative in ORV is being told for a quick buck or to try and spread an idea for an individual's gains. It's a very unromantic, unimpressed view of narratives and fiction. It's pretty much the only way a SIOC OP isekai webnovel like ORV can talk about it without being disingenuous. And it's remarkably raw and visceral as a result, because ORV loves SIOC OP isekai webnovels like kdj loves yjh. Fiercely, insanely, like breathing, exactly for what it is. No pretensions.

It's bizarre, because ORV is about love. It's not about love for anything that deserves it. Not for a story with a lot of literary merit, a main character who is a remotely kind or lovable person, or art itself outside of its commercial or philosophical value. kdj really, really, really fucked loved TWS - because it was there, and because it lasted 15 years, and because it was fake, and because it was what he had. He loves yjh because yjh was his only companion in a dark world. That's fiction. Fiction helped him survive, because love is a way of ordering a disordered world.

I'm still reading myself, but ORV seems to be about how we manage to live in a hard world, and how to find it within ourselves to love each other and find meaning in that hard world. I see why kdj's the protagonist: he can find merit in something for existing, and loving it for being there, and he holds onto something because he has it. He sees the value in that. He read it in a book.

TL;DR: ORV is well-executed trashy commercialized art that is so obsessed with trashy commercialized art that it's looped straight back around into being somehow the most raw and visceral depiction of love I've seen in a long time.

#wish i could lie to myself and say that yall aint getting orv fic but :/#my asks #I don't know what it'd be about but it'd be written under a heavy burden #of having to write the most insane thing physically possible #writing boring orv fic is a sin and baby the fucking ao3 tag is tartarus #hey why do i have to type kdj and yjh #why can't i just say dokja or joonghyuk #why are we full naming everybody at all times #this is the only webnovel i've ever read and its a big learning curve for me

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lupins-hehim-pussy · 7 months ago

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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears

I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!

The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.

Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.

Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)

Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.

Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.

Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.

The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.

They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.

And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.

I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.

#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear #they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that #sure. but MHY write all their victims like this #I mean look at fucking Lanoire #and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when #this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy #because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free #you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative #and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself #don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system #and I Hate #this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth #i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do #like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices #canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys #IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH

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