#fic: chrysalism

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖 · · · · 𝚇𝙸. 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 ║ ⓒⓗⓐⓟⓣⓔⓡⓔⓓ

𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 || 𝚗 𝚊 𝚟 𝚒 𝚐 𝚊 𝚝 𝚒 𝚘 𝚗 || 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x fem!OC/reader

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | CHAPTER CONTENT: POV switching, toxic family dynamics, parental abuse, alcoholism/disordered alcohol use, protective!Joel, domestic fluff, hurt/comfort, beauty in the mundane, learning to be peaceful in the stillness WORD COUNT: 6.8k

| CHAPTER SUMMARY: How odd it is to be haunted by someone who is still alive.

“But what if I miss a payment?”

“You’re not gonna miss a payment,” he assures you for the millionth time.

“And the interest is, like, 27%, so if I miss a payment it’s gonna be so much extra on top of the bill,” you stress.

“Your interest is only that high because you don’t have any credit in your name, baby. It’ll get knocked down eventually – once you build up a good history – but that’s just how it starts out most of the time.”

You can tell he’s about to launch into his comforting finance dialogue yet again, but you don’t stop him. You still need to hear him say it, even if it feels like he’s beating a dead horse at this point. You need the comfort in his assurances, and for once you don’t get down on yourself for needing it and seeking it out.

“And you’re not gonna make huge purchases to start, right? You’re gonna put small, consistent charges on there every month and pay it in full every month. After 6 months to a year, you’ll get a low credit utilization ratio, and you might be able to increase your credit limit. It sounds scary, but it’s really simple. I promise. And I can go over it as many times as you need to feel comfortable with it.”

You gnaw your bottom lip and review the little pamphlets and flyers Joel collected for you. He was insistent about having you use your money not for helping with the mortgage or grocery bill or utilities but rather to open your own bank account and then a line of credit so that you could start building credit in your name and your name solely.

Now you were on a Joel Miller crash course about interest rates, utilization ratios, FICO scoring, and all sorts of other financial planning topics that were meant to help you build a firm foundation for lifelong financial independence and security. You constantly doubted yourself and felt overwhelmed with the volume of information, but Joel was adamant about it. After a while, some of it was finally sticking, and you could only pray that you’d pick up more and more of it each time.

Your payments were scheduled automatically now through your online banking, which he also helped you set up, and he helped you get into the habit of keeping track of things on the phone app. “If it’s easy enough for me to do it, I know you won’t have any issue with it” he’d laughed when he first installed it. He was honest to god excited about how much you’d be able to put into savings over the course of the next five years. 

The concept of five years into the future felt hard to conceptualize. You were still getting used to staying on your feet most days and taking more onto your plate when possible. But to Joel, it was something just around the corner. He talked about it as though it was clear as day in his mind’s eye. He saw that future for you – for the both of you – so easily.

The thrum of your pulse felt sticky every time at the casual insinuation that he’d be there to see it, that you and him would still be together and happy and in love, but your stomach lurched at the thought of it. 

He cared an awful lot about you. That much was clear. It was the whole acknowledging the whole being in love thing that made it harder to fathom. It felt dangerously hopeful. It was hard enough to admit to yourself that you loved him, even though there was really no denying it at this point. But that awful, nagging worry still nipped at your heels: would he grow tired of it all one of these days? The mollycoddling and constant instruction for shit you should’ve had all figured out by now?

There was no real concept of losing him in your head because that was even harder to envision than anything else. Your thoughts flipped over to a blank slide when you even tried to imagine what it would feel like to not have him in your life. When the nerves of it all started to prick and sting and make you nauseous, those were the moments you held him a little closer to you until the fear subsided.

Joel doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s watching you, all bent over the edge of the deck with your little stack of porcelain plates that you carefully arrange in a neat line along the step.

“Madeline and Helen, you’re over here,” you call over your shoulder to the two grungy “frenemy” cats, as you’d dubbed them.

He snorts and shakes his head, but you just ignore him and continue with your task. All the plates are dispersed, and your usual hoard of neighborhood cats have come meowing and pawing for the “good brand wet food” you insisted on buying for them. When you first started this habit of spoiling the “cat collective,” Joel had been surprised to learn that so many stray cats roamed the neighborhood. That was, until he noticed that many of them had collars and tags. Despite belonging to a nearby family and having perfectly good homes, they regularly showed up like the greedy, indulgent creatures they were.

You didn’t mind, though. You were delighted to greet them all every night like the informal mayor of some feline city. You gave them names despite some tags displaying an entirely different moniker. They responded to whatever you called them, though, so he really had no room to say anything about that. The corner of his mouth twitched up as he watched you slip into your little routine. You’d taken to giving them all nicknames or new names, mostly from movies you’ve watched together.

When the two “frenemy cats” had gotten into a little brawl on the stairs a few weeks back, you broke up their fight and giggled to yourself when you came up with the grand idea of naming them after characters from Death Becomes Her. He shared in a laugh at the fitting names you chose, and you flashed him a million kilowatt smile that made his knees weak.

He watches in open amusement as you chide Walter –  the rotund, irritable tabby that struggles to play nice with others once he’s gobbled up his own dish and is unable to bully others for theirs. You’d quoted “you’re outta your element, Donny!” to Walter about a half dozen times by now, but he never seemed to find your references to The Big Lebowski as hilarious as you did. The grumpy furball looks up at you, annoyed but put in his place, and allows you to scratch his head.

While you made your nightly circuit, Joel scanned the back deck, surveying a potential spot for a small safehouse unit. Might as well start looking into building a heated, insulated area for all these cats since you’ll probably worry yourself sick over how cold they could get in the winter without proper shelter. They could always carry their asses back to their own houses in the neighborhood, but, knowing you, the thought of “what if?” would make you fret enough that he wants to have a plan and build ready to go when it’s time. He tucks it into his mind for later, just like so many other ideas and dreams and possible futures with you.

For now he enjoys giving you the space to indulge in the things that make you happy, a freedom to do something not because there’s an end goal in mind but because it makes you feel radiant in the moment. He loves to see what you latch onto without the angry voice of a controlling dirtbag berating you and making you feel insignificant and frivolous just for finding joy in things.

Watching you shift from constantly on edge to relaxed was a reward all in itself. It was most noticeable at night. You’d stir so frequently in bed those first few weeks after moving in. It might’ve been the new house noises, sure, but there’s no doubt the learned vigilance was a big part of your tendency to be a light sleeper. When you’d startle awake, he’d wake, too. You’d be apologetic and sometimes even a little embarrassed at being so jumpy “over nothing.” He’d just pull you closer and tell you it was okay and to try to go back to sleep. It took a while before it really sunk in, but eventually falling asleep and staying asleep came easier to you.

He was constantly discovering new ways your upbringing and home life had carved these jagged neural pathways in your mind. He didn’t know what the answer was for some of them, other than time, but for the simpler things, like letting you freely explore hobbies and whims, he’d jump at the opportunity to give you that sort of life.

“Do you think I could just… wear some shorts and a shirt? I mean….”

Your words taper off as you stare down at the dress Sarah had ordered online along with the pretty blue one you wore to Kenzie’s graduation ceremony. You didn’t want to repeat the blue dress when you’d just worn it so recently, but you really didn’t want to be up moving around and socializing in a dress all day anyway. Plus, the temperature had crept up steadily now that Memorial Day had just come and gone. Ideally it was denim cutoffs and tank top weather, but you could deal with some linen type shorts and a t-shirt for the sake of a party.

“I’ll match with whatever you put on, so just go with somethin’ comfortable,” he suggests. “There’s worse things than being underdressed for a college graduation party. I doubt anybody’ll even care, honey.”

He was probably right, but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself and drag Joel down with you. Attending parties and looking the part of a well put-together couple was new for you, and there was only so much “fake it ‘til you make it” bravado that could pull you through these sorts of settings. Joel dons a pair of darkwash, neat jeans with a short-sleeved button up, and you huff loudly at how easy he makes things look. 

He catches your toothless irritation and shoots you a wink before grabbing the dress and hanging it up in your shared closet.

“C’mon, let’s look at the shirt options ya got,” he encourages.

The lack of options ended up being a bit of a blessing because it meant you weren’t overwhelmed with choices.  You wind up settling on a spaghetti strap top that’s nice and flowy with a small bow detail in the back. It wasn’t the fanciest thing, but it was dressier than a plain t-shirt. A once over in the mirror reflected a pretty well put together outfit, and your shoulders relaxed with the crisis having been avoided thanks to Joel. He, of course, looked effortlessly handsome and casual.

The drive to Kenzie’s house for the party is uneventful, as are most of your driving excursions these days. Pretty soon you’ll accrue enough hours of road time to take the test to be an actual, bonafide licensed driver. Joel is in his usual spot in the passenger seat with a hand resting on your thigh, calming and a reminder that you’ve got help if you need it. 

The half-circle drive is full of cars with brands you’re sure you could never pronounce correctly. The front of the house and down the street is lined with more of the same, and Joel takes mercy on you when it’s time to parallel park, swapping seats with you and taking over. You watch the confident stretch of his arm along the back of your seat as he reverses neatly into a spot. He hops out to get the door for you, and you both comment on the lavish decorations as you walk into the party.

There’s way more people in attendance than you anticipated, and you just hope you won’t have to socialize too much with people you’re probably never going to see again. Kenzie’s dad spots you and makes his way over to extend a firm handshake to Joel and a warm side hug to you. He doesn’t stick around for long as he returns to his hosting duties, but he flags down a member of the waitstaff for beverages before politely excusing himself to continue on his rounds.

Joel whistles low and cocks a brow as he takes in all of the setup. “Nice lookin’ party.”

You laugh under your breath at the understatement of the century. “It’s insane. This could be somebody’s wedding! It’s freaking gorgeous,” you gush.

He agrees silently, sipping on his cocktail and wrapping his free hand around your lower back and waist. He points out that most people seem to be either wearing business casual adjacent looks or something more formal, which places you both a little underdressed but not so much that you stick out. You also observe that he was right about people not really seeming to notice or care what you had on. It made you feel a bit more relaxed as you sought out Kenzie.

So far you hadn’t come across anyone you knew, but it wasn’t awkward with Joel by your side. He had that poised, assured air about him like always, and it made everything feel manageable. Under control. Free of chaos.

“Ooohhh, hey!” a high pitched squeal sounds across an open path of people. You turn to see someone you recognize but can’t remember her name. You refresh Joel’s memory that this is Kenzie’s friend who had asked him at the graduation about any single brothers, cousins, or nephews that he might have. She shimmies up to you and waves excitedly.

“There’s my little matchmakers!”

Joel laughs awkwardly and shakes his head. “Sorry to tell you, er….” he trails off, her name clearly not springing to his mind either.

Thankfully she doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest, and you're not entirely convinced she’s aware of much at all. “Sel,” she supplies with a bright smile.

“Sel, right,” he amends. “Sorry to tell you, Sel, but we are unfortunately here sans eligible bachelors.”

She makes an exaggerated pouty face before busting into a fit of giggles and shrugging. “Aw, dammit. Can’t win ‘em all, I guess. Well, it was good seeing you!”

She struts away without another word, and you and Joel exchange an amused look.

“Wonder how many of these she’s had,” Joel chuckles, shaking his half empty cocktail glass.

You giggle and playfully slap his side. “Oh, shush. She’s entitled to celebrate a little bit. It’s gotta feel good getting that degree after being in school for four years,” you contend.

He bobs his head in passive agreement. “Now remind me again why your friend was workin’ with you in a grocery store when she’s got all this waiting for her back home? Coulda just focused on her studies, couldn’t she’ve?”

It was a fair question. Why on earth would someone work a minimum wage, public facing job if their family could afford this sort of lifestyle? 

“She told me before that her dad wanted her to know what the ‘real world’ was like. I’m pretty sure he didn’t grow up with a whole lot, and I guess he didn’t want his kids to end up spoiled or whatever.”

Joel nods his head like that makes perfect sense to him. “Explains why her dad seems like a decent guy. Doesn’t have that ‘daddy’s money’ attitude. Your friend doesn’t either for that matter, so I guess he’s done a pretty good job keepin’ her level headed.”

When you finally do come across Kenzie, she seems a bit frazzled. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her so uptight and serious. She hastily explains that she’s spent the entire party schmoozing with all her dad’s “dumb important friends” and hasn’t had a chance to relax at all. You feel a bit sorry for her, but you know she’ll probably end up with extravagant gifts from said family friends in exchange for a few social niceties. 

Your eye lands on a familiar looking man whose identity isn’t readily placed. Was he at the graduation ceremony, too? Was he the dad to one of Kenzie’s friends? He looks at you for a split second like he recognizes you as well, before he looks away, disinterested. You shrug it off. Maybe he’s just got one of those faces.

Kenzie’s dad comes back around and asks if he can “borrow Joel for a minute,” to which you assure Joel you’re fine without his company for a little while. He shoots you one last worried glance over his shoulder as Kenzie’s dad claps a hand against his back and starts up the construction conversation they’d been having at the ceremony. You watch Joel’s reluctant figure weave through the crowd until he’s following Kenzie’s dad inside the house through a large side door. 

The sea of attendees around you make for good people watching. You wouldn’t admit it to Joel, but not having him by your side feels strange and a bit vulnerable, especially now that you spend practically every waking moment together. It was something you’d become rather accustomed to, and with your nerves starting to pick up again you remind yourself that it’s healthy to do things on your own every once in a while. You’d done it plenty in your life, and being subjected to it now wouldn’t kill you. 

A solid twenty minutes have passed, and you distract yourself with the abundance of ornate decorations.

Deeper into the backyard is a small bunching of rose bushes. The delicate folds of pink petals have you considering asking Joel if he could plant this sort of thing in your backyard. You smile gently to yourself, running a fingertip along the velvet furl of the rosette. Your backyard. Together. A little garden of eden right smack dab in the middle of Texas.

Sentimental musings are cut short with the announcement of a “few words shared on the eastern lawn” in about five minutes. Throngs of guests begin making their way toward the tabled section that you assume is the “eastern lawn,” and Joel is still nowhere in sight.

You hang back and check your phone. No texts or missed calls. You call him, but it rings until it goes through to voicemail. He’d probably muted it for the party. You decide to just go look for him in the house, letting yourself into the same side door they’d used when they went inside almost 30 minutes ago. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gotten carried away talking business.

A welcomed cool breeze butts against your bare skin when you slip inside, the indoor AC a stark difference to the looming summer heat outside. A pristine and stately kitchen filled with stock for the party greets you: ice filled coolers, wrapped trays of hor d’oeuvres lining the countertops, napkins and utensils and glassware all stacked to the side and ready to go when toasts are made. The smooth marble counters give an air of quiet opulence, made all the more silent with no noise coming from anywhere in the house.

A sliver of a stairwell is visible just around the corner. A separate hallway stretches door after door, no light glowing from any of the rooms behind them. A dull babble of laughter and conversation outside at the opposite end of the house is practically a white noise in this massive, empty space. Joel’s deep timbre is absent. No creaking footsteps from upstairs. No friendly hum of conversation.

It felt a bit intrusive to just waltz upstairs to look for him, but it’s not like you didn’t have a good reason to be looking around. Surely at the very least Kenzie’s dad wouldn’t want to miss whatever was about to happen on the eastern lawn.

“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you hiding out in here.”

The familiar voice cuts through your chest, your heart clenching sharply as you turn to find your dad wearing a nasty, callous expression. He looks more exhausted than you remember, somehow more dead in the eyes. It’s only been a few weeks since you’ve last seen him, but he stands before you more gnarled and sickly than memory serves. His skin shines with a thin layer of perspiration, and his lips are so dry and chapped it’s as if all the moisture in his body is steadily exiting through the gathering beads of sweat along his brow. His eyes are sluggish but malevolent, darting all along your face and body as though he’s taking inventory of your present state.

The words you wish to scream, for him to get away from you, get twisted and caught in your throat. You stand there, infuriatingly mute, and await whatever venom he’s here to deliver. He makes no rush as he walks fully into the room and slides the door shut. He looks so out of place here, in your world. In your life. A living ghost here to haunt you once more.

“Takes guts to be at somebody’s party celebrating everything you’ll never be.” He pauses to let the barb cleave and carve, laughing to himself as he continues, “ I mean, imagine you a college graduate. Barely fucking graduated high school.”

His line of sight wanders around the room as he picks you apart. Although his air is indifferent and unrushed, you have an odd, sneaking feeling that he doesn’t want to look you in the eye again until he’s established a rhythm of cutting you down, as though your absence has left him feeling out of sorts and unpracticed in destruction.

“Some hell of a fluke that the driven, successful young ladies here at this party see anything in common with a loser like you.”

His eyes slip over to yours again, narrowing with palpable hatred. “Can’t imagine any of them are a complete embarrassment to their families.”

“What are you doing here?” you finally manage to spit out.

He bobs on the balls of his feet, stepping around airily with his hands in his pockets like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like he found all of this an amusing way to pass the time. Like he hadn’t just cannonballed himself into your life again.

“Got a funny text from an, uh, acquaintance of mine. A picture of you, sticking out like a sore thumb. Surrounded by better dressed people. Way outta your social class.”

Embarrassment warms the back of your neck and the tips of your ears at his astute, cutting words.

“Had my friend wondering if he was imagining it was you - misremembering your face, maybe – especially since he didn’t see me anywhere nearby. Told him he was right and that I’d be sure to come say hello when I dropped in.  He was nice enough to remind me of the address. What a guy,” he finishes in a dry tone.

He laughs, a hollow and mirthless sound, and takes a step forward, hands shoved in his pockets that you now realize are balled into fists. His voice was steady enough, but the fury bubbling beneath the surface was quickly rising to the tipping point. There was no doubt he’d been drinking heavily – that dangerous teetering between being dampened by the alcohol and being livid that it still didn’t make all his problems fade away into a muted, ignorable thing.

“How much have you had today?” you lob at him. “Or has it just carried over from last night?”

He laughs again, just as empty and forced as the first. “It’s funny because, the thing is, I can promise you there’s no amount of whiskey that could make me as delusional as you are. I mean, parading around this party in what? Backyard barbecue clothes? Can’t even put together a decent outfit for one day, but you expect to keep up with these people? College graduates getting real jobs, not just some entry level bullshit you sucked off some old jackass for.”

Heat rises on your chest and neck at the insinuation that Joel only offered you the job in return for sexual favors. You jut your chin out defiantly but can’t find the words to say. Can’t find the words that will defend yourself. Defend Joel. Make your dad leave with his tail between his legs. He takes your silence as another opportunity to tear you down.

“You think you got real friends here? How many times do you think they’re gonna cover your tab? Spot you $100? Invite you to weekend trips? Hm? How many times are they gonna get out their wallets before they see you for the leech that you are?” he hisses.

“I think you need to leave,” you warn with a tremble tacked to the last word.

“And don’t get me started on that middle aged perv you got brainwashed into giving a shit about you,” he continues, completely ignoring your reproval. “He might be giving you a little allowance for now, but I give it a few years max before he dumps you for the next young bimbo he can use to wet his dick. Of course you’re too fucking stupid to realize that. It would be funny if it weren’t so fucking pathetic.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” you snap, adrenaline rushing through you now and helping to supply the harsh words. 

His eyes crinkle with a malicious smirk, like he revels in finally having got to you. 

“Or what?” he sneers. “All you can ever manage to do when things get tough is run. So, what are you gonna do now? Run?”

You don’t miss the challenge in his tone, daring you to try to leave before he gives you permission to do so. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW.”

The curve of his mouth is sickly sweet, a slip of red the only thing standing between you and his corrosive words. His gate is unhurried walking towards the door, leaning against it in a lazy show of provocation as he blocks it. The shrill tempo of your pulse in your ears grows louder while you stare each other down. It’s a dangerous game of calling the other’s bluff, and you know he’s banking on you fleeing. You know he wants to track you down and catch you this time before you can get away, just to prove that your actions wouldn’t go unpunished. Just to remind you of who’s in control. 

But something contrarian and fortified slinks between your ribcage and finds purchase there next to the hum of your heart. 

He doesn’t make the rules anymore. 

This is no longer his game that you’re forced to play just to survive. You don’t live in this nightmare anymore. This isn’t your life now. 

He doesn’t control you anymore.

“You’re a really sad person, dad.” 

The somatic buzz kindling and catching inside you yields a wave of goosebumps all over your body, the shake in your hands and voice just a timid thing that stays barely in check. You still your head and really look at the fractured shell of a man in front of you, and it’s more obvious than ever: he’s more lost than you’ve ever been and ever will be.

“You’re never gonna be happy,” you assert.

It all floods you now, a blurred picture coming into focus. That clarity you’d sought so long but never had with the mind muddling environment of abuse. But suddenly you aren’t searching for the words anymore. They’re all right on the tip of your tongue and ready to depart.

“You’re gonna die sad and miserable and probably alone, and I know that has to eat you up inside to finally realize it. That no matter how much you try to put your anger and your– and your pain onto others, it still doesn’t make it go away inside of you.”

His balled fists rest at his sides, heaving breaths moving his chest like the snap of a rubber band.

“You can’t hurt me anymore. You can’t hurt anybody I care about anymore. You don’t have the power like you used to. You’re just… you’re just nothing, dad. An empty person who’s trapped inside his own mind like a prison. And-And honestly? I feel bad for you.”

The flicker of surprise at your words graces his worn features before quickly being replaced with a deep scowl. For once it’s him cornered into a stunned silence, but you have no intention of letting up.

“I left, dad. Don’t you get it? I’m done. You don’t have power over me like that. Not anymore. The sooner you realize that, the less of your life you’ll waste trying to hurt me again because it’s not going to happen. You tried to break me down and take away everything, and it still didn’t work. I’m not broken like you. I’m gonna be okay, no matter how much you hate that. And you can call me a loser as many times as you want, but it won’t change the fact that it’s really you who’s lost out on everything in life.”

A heavy air lingers, but you feel lighter than you ever have. Your deep, centering inhale punctuates the finality of the meeting.

“I’m gonna go now, and I think you should leave the party before something bad happens.”

The urge to scurry away from the danger rises, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction. You refuse to let him see you run from him anymore. 

Of course, it was never likely that he’d just let it go so easily. 

Menacing stomps follow your measured stride towards the stairwell, your exit cut short by his piercing grip around your bicep and the sharp whip of your body as he yanks you sideways to face him. The smell of alcohol comes off him like a foggy wet cloud.

“You think you just get to leave in the middle of the night like a disgusting, slimy rat and not have to answer for it?” he fumes, his nose pressing against yours when he hauls you face to face.

He doesn’t control you anymore. 

He doesn’t control you anymore. 

He doesn’t control you anymore.

There’s no hesitation in your movements, wrenching your arm from his grasp and slamming the butt of your palm into his nose. As clumsy as the unfamiliar motion is, it affords a moment of frozen shock from your father, which you take as an opening to rear back and slap him with as much force as you can muster. Your hand immediately prickles and tingles from the impact.

The few feet of space apart that you gain is quickly closed when he charges at you with a raised, clenched hand ready to strike. The fact that you’ve never fought back before seems to be your saving grace in this moment, the disorientation of you actually resisting and challenging him making his approach unsteady and delayed.

Your hand still stings from the slap as you wad it up and swing it into his gut before he can make contact with you. He sputters and doubles over in shock at the unexpected blow, but the late retribution still comes sooner than you anticipated. He readies to ambush you, lip curled over his bared teeth, when something smashes and shatters into the wall beside his head.

“I was hoping you’d show up one of these days and make trouble just so I’d have the fucking excuse to beat you within an inch of your fucking life,” Joel growls.

It’s a blur of violence as he barrels into your dad, tackling him to the floor in one headlong motion, and lands two punches before it can even register. The clamor draws more people, one of them being Kenzie’s dad who you spot darting back out of the room with his phone to his head — you assume to call the police. A handful of waitstaff hang at the perimeter of the commotion, gawking at the all out brawl taking place in the middle of the kitchen. You aren’t much better, just standing there rooted to the spot in an adrenaline freeze, as your dad manages to topple Joel onto his back and land a punch to his jaw.

By the time they flip again, two men have been alerted to the fight and brought inside to intervene. They aren’t dressed like the other waitstaff, but it’s clear they’re here working the event in some other capacity. A frenzied

yelp pierces the air as Joel digs his knees into your dad’s elbows, pinning him to the ground. Joel yanks a chilled bottle of wine from a nearby bucket and smashes the neck of it against the edge of the counter. The light catches on all the jagged edges of broken glass when he raises it in the air and flips it over in a drive directly into your dad’s mouth, who instantly gurgles and gags at the influx of liquid and serrated opening.

“You look real thirsty,” Joel taunts. “Have a drink. This one’s on me.”

Pockets of liquid jet out from the side of your dad’s mouth as he chokes on it, Joel holding the bottle snug in place as the contents pour out. The two men in matching black uniform shout “break it up, fellas,” which falls on deaf ears. The liquid eventually empties, and the bottle cracks into several more pieces when Joel slams it against your dad’s temple. Blood spills and mixes with the choked out liquid, pooling and smearing across the floor.

The two men quickly lodge themselves between the two when a flurry of fists and kicks and jabs from Joel start right back up. He manages to get one last closed hand strike to your dad’s face and one crushing stomp to his thigh as the bigger of the two uniformed men finally drags him away. Your dad lies motionless on the floor as the man scolds Joel for taking “cheap shots” instead of heeding the calls to break the fight up like they’d asked.

Joel wears a flinty, unrepentant sneer that only deepens when his eyes cast down to your unmoving but groaning dad. He spits a bloody pool of saliva onto him as he’s ushered to the other side of the kitchen.

“Put your hands on her again, asshole. See if you walk away the next time.”

You can feel all the eyes in the room slip over to you, making the connection of what had started this entire mess. Some of the faces lose their look of pity for your dad, all crumpled and thrashed in a feeble sprawl on the floor. 

“You okay, baby? He hurt you?” Joel demands.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond, instead running impatient hands all along your body to assess for injury.

“I’m okay,” you answer, and it’s a relief to be able to offer that in truth. “I was holding him off long enough for you to get to me.”

His shoulders sag with the reassurance that you’ve not been harmed, hands roaming up to gently cup your jaw and search your face for any lingering distress. You don’t turn away, content to let him find the undercurrent of peace that swells within you, held in his arms. 

It’s the first Father’s Day since you severed contact. Calum had already gleefully sent you a picture of your dad’s mugshot, framed and hung on a wall in his apartment. Having the advantage of knowing you were safe and sound while he listened to the recap of Kenzie’s party meant he got to enjoy every last bit of comeuppance relayed. He’d cheered you on when you recalled how you’d defended yourself, verbally and physically, and he demanded to complement Joel directly on his part in all of it before he let you hang up.

Kenzie’s dad was the first to press charges, having absolutely no qualms about sending a message to the guy who almost ruined his daughter’s graduation party. It didn’t hurt that he had connections with some law enforcement higher ups, more than enough “fuck you money” to throw around, and a top notch lawyer on retainer ready to let the long arm of the law screw your dad over. With a neutral but supportive nudge from Joel, you also pressed charges.

When all was said and done, your dad was looking at: trespassing, assault, battery, menacing, criminal mischief, disorderly intoxication, disorderly conduct, false imprisonment, stalking, driving while intoxicated, open container in a motor vehicle, property damage, and a smattering of any other offense that the lawyer could manage to unearth, ready to assist his client in rubbing salt into your dad’s wound.

You weren’t sure how much of it was going to stick or what the outcome would be, but it sure as hell didn’t look good to have a pending imputation like that with a job like his. Hell, any employer would look sideways at a string of legal infractions that extensive and that damning. It wasn’t exactly something tenure and bullshitting could smooth over. And if Kenzie’s dad had any say in the proceedings, your dad wasn’t going to get off the hook easily.

“You’re just buttering your old man up now,” Joel chortles to the screen.

You smile to yourself as you listen to his and Sarah’s video chat. She couldn’t make it back home to celebrate in person, but she’d made sure to call and lay the sweet talk on thick.

“Yeah, but it’s obviously working, sssoooooooo….”

“Little shit,” he chuckles under his breath, walking aimlessly through the house and out onto the back deck.

You hear him laugh loudly a couple minutes later, and you can’t help but join in with your own giggle. Eventually the cadence of his voice changes into words of endearment and goodbyes. He tucks his phone into his pocket as he rounds the corner.

“You’re a really good dad,” you observe warmly.

The corner of his mouth ticks up softly at the compliment, but he takes his time walking over to where you’re sat comfortably on the couch before responding. “Ya think so, huh?”

“Yeah. I do.” 

Your voice is steady and pointed. You want him to know you mean it. You might not have a personal reference to defend your position, but you know without a doubt that Joel Miller is the best father and deserves to hear it every day of his life.

He pauses for a moment before asking, “You doin’ okay? Is the day botherin’ you at all?”

You assume he means the fact that it’s Father’s Day and you have a strong contender for worst dad on the planet.

“I actually– it might sound weird, but I actually feel really light. I feel good.”

“Not weird at all,” he assures you, plopping down next to you and scooping your legs to lay across his lap so he can rub your ankles and calves. “Dead weight is dead weight. Not bein’ weighed down by him’s gotta feel like you’re finally able to live the life you deserve. Deserve the damn moon on a string for all the shit he’s put you through.”

You exhale, an amused little sound. “You’re doing it again.”

“What? What am I doin’?”

“Gunning for Best Boyfriend in the World award.”

“Remind me again what put me in the running,” he teases and leans in for a kiss.

“A million things, but today it’s mostly just– seeing you be who you are. Getting to experience that and be a part of it.”

The air of levity dampens a bit when you reach for his hands and draw him closer, and he recognizes the shift from playful to earnest.

“I think sometimes people are just meant to… they’re made for showing love. They’re made to pour their love into special people, people they love. And they are the most happy when they get to do that. I think- I think that’s you. I think you pour your love into people, and that’s when you’re happiest. To see the people you love being filled with your love.”

“Goddamn, honey, Sarah already made me all mushy,” he grouses, suddenly blinking rapidly with glossy eyes. “Y’all are gonna have me a blubbering baby if y’all don’t quit.”

But you can’t stop. You can’t hold it in. You can’t keep yourself from gushing about this beautiful person you’ve been lucky enough to know and create this life with.

“I love you, Joel. I’m in love with you.” 

It comes out without thinking, but it’s meant for this moment. There’s no hesitation or regret in it. You want to say it again.

“I love you,” you repeat, drawing on the intoxication and freedom of it finally being spoken.

“I love you, too, honey,” he returns softly. “So damn much. Love you so damn much.”

tagging:

@copperhalfcent @guelyury @keylimebeag @magpiepills @bizarrelove-triangle

@missladym1981 @wand-erer5 @koshkaj-blog @bubble-pop-eclectic @lovelyladiess

@ellenmunn @lavema @confusedpuffin @getitoutofmymindwrites @getitoutofmymind

@fishingforpike @drunk-and-capable @sheepdogchick3 @pastelpinkflowerlife @bonezone44

@guiltyasdave @toomanystoriessolittletime

[tinytennisskirt]

𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐭'𝐬 m𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

MINORS DNI w/ RED HEART FICS ALMOST ALL FICS CONTAIN SUGGESTIVE CONTENT thank youuuu

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬:

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐧:

The Card and The Heart (x ZweigTwin!Reader) ♡

A Chaotic Reunion Pt1 (childhood bestfriend art! x reader- reuniting and rekindling)

A Chaotic Reunion Pt2 (childhood bestfriend art! x reader- rekindling and new romance)

Rumours (x fem!reader- miscommunication trope)

More Than Anything (childhood bestfriend art! x reader- slowburn? angsty? fluffy romantic ending)

Cottage Culture (childhood bestfriend art! x reader - ft. patrick, slowburn, close friends, cottage getaway, fluff)

Good Luck Charm (x gf!reader- sad to fluff, proposal)

Kisses (x gf!reader- hurt/comfort)

The Motions (x girlfriend/wife!reader- wedding, honeymoon, pregnancy) ♡

A Slippery Slope (x exgirlfriend!reader- apologies, rekindling, hurt/comfort if you squint)

Fresh Laundry and Other Things (x reader- flirting, fluff, laundry and coffee and music)

The Couch (x pregnantwife!reader- fluff, a little smut, pregnancy) ♡

Small Victories (x tennisplayer!reader- fluff, angst, recovery and slowburn friends to lovers)

Never (art x girlfriend!reader- breakup, angst, bittersweet)

Kiss Me (art x bestfriend!reader- fake dating trope with a twist, slowburn, super sweet)

Let It Linger (dual timeline- MRTA! art x bestfriend! reader / post divorce! art x estranged best friend reader- pining, yearning, slowburn)

From Pain To Promise (x bestfriend!reader- pining, yearning, angst, MAJOR TW, happy ending)

Wounds and Words (x bestfriend!reader- pining, taking care of wounds, drunk confession)

Chrysalism (x fiancée!reader- rainy day, shower sex, domestic love) ♡

No Consequences (x bestfriend!reader- stoned sex) ♡

𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐙𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠:

Hall Pass (x Art'sGirlfriend!Reader) ♡

Angel Pt1 (x singlemom!reader - slowburn/age gap)

Angel Pt2 (x singlemom!reader - slowburn/age gap/tension and wanting)

Angel Pt3 (x singlemom!reader - slow burn, age gap) ♡

Rematch (ex-situationship!reader- enemies to lovers, smut)♡

Tease (x fem!reader- tease, hidden fluff, friends to lovers) ♡

Patrick and His Pattern (x girlfriend!reader- angst, mean!patrick, breakup) ♡

Sweetheart (x babysitter!reader- age gap, girl dad! patrick, smut) ♡

Those Three Words (friend turned lover! reader x player turned loverboy! patrick- fun, sweet, am ‘i love you’ confession, and hurt/comfort)

Sweet Tooth (x bakery owner! reader- post-canon player turned bf! patrick, flirting, the motions, falling in love, fluff)

Toast To Nothing (x girlfriend! reader- meeting his parents, smut!) ♡

Behind Closed Doors (x good girl socialite! reader) ♡ part one

𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐡:

The Gymnast (x gymnast!reader- tension, threesome, smut!) ♡

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬:

- patrick taking your virginity (blurb) ♡

- best friend!patrick who is totally not in love with you (headcanons with a plot)

- boyfriend!art who knows you like the back of his hand (headcanons)

- art giving you a tummy bulgeee (requested blurb) ♡

- you, art and pat singing some trashy song in the car (headcanon)

- Q: who is more likely to develop a crush for stupid reasons?

- Mark Rebellato Era headcanons

- vampire boyfriend! art (headcanons with a plot) ♡

- meet the donaldsons (almost-fic blurb)

- telling fwb! patrick zweig that you’re pregnant.

- coming home after a long day of work to sleeping art, who tried to stay up for you (blurb)

[guiltyasdave]

jana's 2024 faves

hi! as 2024 draws to a close, i thought i’d go through all the fics i read and loved this year and create a list of my favorites. as it turns out, i read a ton, so this list is a two-parter and i’m not doing my usual emoji-guide, because otherwise i’d be here forever 🫠 so many stories moved me this year, made me cry, made me laugh, and i’m really grateful to be part of this community.

i hope you’re having a beautiful end of the year, and if you need something to read: you might find it here :) if you do, please remember to show the writers some love 🫶🏻

dividers of course by the amazing @saradika-graphics! <3

javier peña

go your own way by @schnarfer

on call by @hellishjoel

girl next door by @goodwithcheese

i'll carry you by @almostfoxglove

a litany of lethe by @kiwisbell

scathed by @dancingtotuyo

the everything shower by @iknowisoundcrazy

joel miller

you know you never stood a chance & of rage and ruin by @corazondebeskar-reads

from eden by @5oh5

a stranger's heart without a home by @morning-star-joy

short days, long nights by @frannyzooey

sex on fire, san angelo & cowboy like me by @macfrog

smother by @beardedjoel

a lover's pinch by @hier--soir

the checklist by @thetriumphantpanda

woman by @dancingtotuyo

your summer dream by @tonysopranosrobe

feelings on fire by @pedropeach

i know it when i see it by @bageldaddy

helen by @kiwisbell

teacher's pet by @javiscigarette

dress up joel by @covetyou

daddy next door by @cavillscurls

clot & listen/watch/touch by @luxurychristmaspudding

chrysalism by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

does anyone know where the love of good goes? by @shellshocklove

hands on your knees by @northernbluess

how do you sleep? by @thriftedtchotchkes

interlude by @wethairjoel

cover me up, see you at three & lock the gate by @almostfoxglove

living high until that fatal day by @familyvideostevie

good neighbors, gimme what i want & meet me in the back by @joelstummy

hungry, lonely, violent by @dontloooknow

marcus acacius

the nymphiad by @pascalispretty

max phillips

i cannot get you close enough by @leslie-lyman

the prettiest by @almostfoxglove

unnamed materialists character

quicksand by @javier-pena

<- part 1

[my-my-my]

Okay so, mayhaps, considering aaalll the stages of change Aizen went through and some Aus; Default Captain/Traitor, 3-Holes Hollowfied, Muken, Transcended (20th Anniversary) and Human if you count Bleach Brave Souls; there must of been some serious “stat block” (among other) changes depending on what version your interacting with.

On sfw levels, I’d love to put them in a terrarium and see how they interact w/ each other and + a y/n. Though in a nsfw note, I think some thorough tests would need to be done just to see how different yet alike they all are to each other. 😉😉

I LOVE this idea haha! This was so fun to write. I’ll try to put the SFW bits before the read more, but the NSFW will be after.

CW: exhibitionism, group sex, monster fucking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This isn’t in a fic format, so hopefully this will suffice!

Regardless of y/n being present in this terrarium or not, I can see all the Aizens interacting with each other and comparing notes. In a way, they’re all Aizens of different times (LOL Aizens of Christmas Past, Present and Future). So yes, I think they would discuss amongst themselves what has been happening.

That being said, I think Cocoon/Chrysallis Aizen and Butterfly!Aizen would be a bit arrogant compared to the others, so the other Aizen’s would be studying them like peculiar specimens.

Monster!Aizen would raise questions. I can see some of the Aizens wondering how they can avoid this transformation.

I think Muken!Aizen would be the most exhausted by this. Pointing out all the flaws of where it went wrong.

Transcended!Aizen is another story. I can see this Aizen explaining to the others how he became successful, but I think it’s in (all) Aizen’s nature to be wary and cautious. I can also see Transcended!Aizen trying to break out of the terrarium lol. Maybe they all work together and try to break it??

The “human” Aizens (from Bleach Brave Souls [which I don’t think are human?? I think in BBS, Aizen is still a soul reaper, but I digress]) would be immediately curious and ask questions, maybe do their own observations and experimentations that they could in a human body. I think it would make the other Aizens curious about how the human ones live – what can they do in such a limited capacity?

In my heart of hearts, they would make a union but disagree on who would be their union leader and union rep (oh to witness the collective bargaining unit of Aizens…)

Now when y/n is in this terrarium… (I’m a HUGE sucker for the soul mate trope, which is the underlying basis for these next set of points):

I think the fact that there is only one y/n, who remains consistently the same for all the Aizens would throw some alarm bells for them! Because philosophically it would make them question the nature of fate and such.

They would immediately ask y/n questions and be incredibly cautious of y/n as well.

I think it will begin poorly for everyone involved. All the Aizens would be in disbelief that this one person remained consistent in all these iterations/timelines/universes. It unnerves them.

I think the whole terrarium would be in disbelief with what was happening overall, but y/n might feel overwhelmed with all the Aizens asking them questions.

It would make all the Aizens question how similar, and dissimilar they are, so y/n would be a so-called “neutral” party.

While they may all be physically different, more or less, I think certain traits would be similar amongst all of them and it is something y/n is able to pull out. I can see the inherent “teaching” trait being the most evident one.

Y/n will have questions, and this is where they will see the Aizens trying to answer them. It’s kind of cute!

Even the monstrous form of Aizen would be swayed too – I think also, they (as a collective) are a bit possessive of y/n.

Of all the Aizens though, I think Muken!Aizen would be standoffish. Mostly because he would be hesitant to reunite with y/n, but also because he’s the most wary/cautious of all the Aizens. I can see this almost as if he wants y/n the most, but there’s a fear of losing them again and he can’t bring himself to interact with y/n as much as the others.

I think Transcendent!Aizen would scoff at the presence of y/n but he’s more of a tsundere. While he is a transcendent being, I can imagine him thinking he doesn’t want or miss y/n, but that is far from the truth.

Watching y/n interact with the other Aizens would make Transcendent!Aizen feel a bit jealous. This will then make him question his own feelings. I can see this version trying to attack y/n as a way to test himself, but the other Aizens would protect y/n, with Muken!Aizen stopping Transcendent!Aizen.

NSFW

y/n is the test subject to all of the Aizens whims!

Each Aizen would “demonstrate” for the others, what turns on y/n. One might spank y/n infront of the others, another might be playing with y/n’s nipples.

Each Aizen would demonstrate how well y/n would suck on his cock, and this might be where y/n would see differences! Maybe one Aizen prefers y/n playing with his balls, another might prefer watching y/n finger themselves while sucking him off. Either way, the Aizens are getting a show.

Monster!Aizen would be the first to fuck y/n, more so because the other Aizens are curious as to how this would work, and y/n wants to know if his cock has changed.

Monster!Aizen would instill both fear and excitement in y/n because it is an Aizen that is unfamiliar to y/n physically, but he still reacts to y/n’s body the same way as the others do.

I think Lieutenant Aizen is a bit impatient and while y/n is sucking off another Aizen’s cock, he might “jump in” and prep y/n’s pussy for fucking, and also unlike the “older” Aizen’s, I think he would be the first to cum.

Captain Aizen would be the one to eat y/n out, making sure y/n is tended too.

Human!Aizen would be a bit rough with y/n, I think they will pull y/n’s hair, but Transcendent!Aizen would be a bit mean, calling y/n various names like, “cock slut,” “whore,” etc.

Transcendent!Aizen I can see being the cruellest with y/n. It is degrading in a sense, but the other Aizens know that y/n loves to please and this is no exception. Lots of throat fucking, hair pulling, but Transcendent!Aizen doesn’t want others involved – they are only watching.

Lieutenant and Captain Aizens I can see tag teaming y/n. Maybe with a human!Aizen as a third participant. It’ll devolve into an orgy at some point, as y/n loses track of which Aizen’s cock their sucking and who’s fucking their pussy or ass. I can see Lieutenant Aizen wanting to creampie y/n, but Captain Aizen prefers to cum on y/n’s face.

Muken!Aizen, surprisingly, I can see having tender sex with y/n? Because Muken is so isolating, he takes his time with y/n and is more attentive to y/n’s needs and wants. He might use some of his own binding to bind y/n in some shape or form, but at the core of it, he wants y/n’s touch more than the others. The feel of y/n’s hands on his body, the way y/n says his name, their kisses, etc., is something he would cherish unlike the other Aizens.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE!!

This was so much fun to write. I hope you enjoy it!!

[cynicalone94]

Hi again ;)

Fic writer asks:

4 13 (apart from FBI: International, that's too easy) 20 29

Four. I have plenty of fics with a few chapters written that I'm doing my best not to get sucked into right now. Between Old Wounds, Interference, and All I Want - I really don't need another active project right now. (It doesn't work, some days I spend more time working on other stories than I do even thinking about the active ones) One story that's been taunting me lately that I haven't even allowed myself to scribble any notes down for is a brand new emotional whump project for Mr. Whumpable himself. The basic premise is that the Marshall's office finds themselve with a leak and enlists Intelligence's help to protect their witness, catch the hitman who's been hired to take him out and plug the leak. Only the witness turns out to be someone that Jay went to high school with. Someone who ended up in Juvie because of something that he and the rest of the football team did to Jay.

Thirteen. I think I have a few too many projects in the 'to-be-written' pile between Chicago PD and FBI: International pulling at my leg right now Not that that stops my brain from plotting. I've been binging FBI: Most Wanted lately and Kenny Crosby is starting to look very whumpable so never say never.

Twenty. So I published a crappy, fairly unread, Harry Potter fanfic back in 2012(?) but my first fic on AO3 was posted in 2021. It's the only fic I've posted in the Brooklynn Nine Nine fandom. I took the plunge into the Chicago PD fandom that December and never looked back.

Twenty-Nine. Some titles are so easy, Chrysallis was super easy because it came from one of the first scenes that I wrote. Others, like Old Wounds, took what felt like forever. Most recently The Chicago Strangler and Like You Love Her were on similarly opposite sides of the spectrum. The Chicago Strangler right there in my head before I was even halfway done. Like You Love Her took almost an hour brainstorming with @artiekareestories to figure out.

[happilychee]

WHAT DO I NAME MY FIC

for context, the premise is that the reader wasn't part of the tenrou team, so she's left behind during the 7 year timeskip. takes place when the tenrou team returns bc the grand magic games arc has my heart. angst and hurt/comfort ensues

options include...

an edgy one word title like "chrysallis"

a phrase of some sort?? something to do with water...

ltrly anything I didn't think I'd be publishing this ever but now I want to and idk what to name it :(((

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

can you share a snippet or idea for the Ari Anna fic ? I'm curious to see what you are thinking on doing

So the Ari/Anna story, Serendipity, only exists currently as a loose outline. The only Beginning of Everything story that's more than that is Chrysalism, the Thomastair story, which is complete (but I'm uploading them once I finish them all since I have to tweak them as I go along).

But I'll tell you that the first chapter is the story of Ari moving into Anna's flat, and the second is them adjusting to a domestic lifestyle and talking about having children. <3

[lowpawly]

How do you feel about the episode that debuted the changelings? I heard it was a controversial episode with how Twilight was treated and it made people write down some fics where Twilight had a big problem about that and suffering PTSD from that.

I liked dat episode i thought it was epic and chrysallis did something for the weird lesbian bug furries. I don't know anything about pony fanfiction or twiligjt sparkles ptsd

[loruleanheart]

✨ and 🥳 for the ask game ?

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

Ooo, this is so hard to choose... Here's a few....

>>“Could we PLEASE move those bananas off the altar! They’re an eyesore! What a baleful affront to Lord Ganon.”

This made me laugh so hard! I could hear Astor's voice so clearly!

I like how you write the villainous trio! They're so well done. Astor, ambitious and sort of grumpy, really thinking the Yiga are beneath him. Kohga is perfectly irreverent. Sooga is quietly scandalized by how rash Astor seems to him.

I'm enjoying this so far. Special mention to the cinematic mirroring of Zelda and Astor's actions.

(Also I liked the grandness of the prologue ♡) - Sturms_Sun_Shattered, Chapter 2 of Desired Fate.

Everything match to make a believable history and legend for Lorule, down to tiniest details. Despite of the similarities with Hyrule, it's amazing to see how different the triforce bearers of Lorule and their dinamics are. It kind of...fit that Hope would trust Beauty and ignore Reason, then only dim when listening to Reason when Beauty proves deceptive. Their fated cycle of reincarnation seems a much sadder one than that of Hyrule. The trifoces of Lorule seem more beautiful, and those of Hyrule more austerious... Yet, there is hope in Hyrule for all bright hearts after their duty is fillufiled, and they can know true peace however brief. While Lorule is likely fated to slowly descend into despair once danger is dealt with, and the remaining bearers, to live in gloom until a new bearer for Beauty is born for the dance of distrust and betrayal to begin over again. No wonder they would want to destroy their heavy bearing Trifoce. I'm impressed. You seem to be a brillant person.

On another hand, I wonder how you plan to explain that the bearer of Beauty has a huge crooked nose and can't seem to know good taste in clothing himself. Jokes are good, but really, how? - Chrysale (Silvara) on Chapter 18 of The Legend of Hilda.

Alright, I jumped the gun on that one, I thought chapter 24 was the end and I was clearly mistaken. I'm glad I was, though, because I love chapters like this, showing the aftermath of the big finale and how life slowly goes back to normal. Let me tell you, you really have a talent for making these unlikely pairings work, I never thought I'd be rooting for Yuga and Hilda, but you got me there. Astor and Zelda, though, that's even more of a challenge, Astor was such a dimensionless, one-note antagonist and the both of them really had no relationship whatsoever in the game, but you brought to life a colorful and compelling relationship between them that we actually get to see being built. The end result in this chapter, the two being happy and celebrating their soon to be family was so heartwarming and satisfying. I just have to say, that physician, daaamm, the man's lucky he still has a head, Zelda has patience and mercy like no one else, I mean, who the hell does he think he is? Anyway, another scene that impacted me was Zelda and Astor going to the tech lab to pick up the guardian only for their trauma to make taking it to their home and having it near their family unthinkable, ptsd is real. This was a fantastic chapter and an amazing ending! Well done! - Prometheus17 on epilogue of Desired Fate (fanfiction.net)

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

No one else was writing the sort of thing I wanted to read... Or they did, but then abandoned the fic. T_T

Thanks @lize-the-prophetprophet for the ask!

[maraudersftw]

Fanfic writer self-appreciation! Answer this, then pass the ask along to your favorite writer, your mutuals, or just someone who needs to answer it. If I were to read one fic of yours that best reveals who you are as a writer, or the one you’re MOST proud of, which fic should I read?

Thank you for the ask, anon!

But oof, this is a difficult one. I'm quite proud of the world building in Retribution but I love the banter in Drink Me!

Of Chrysalism is also quite good if you're into angst and hurt/comfort.

In short - I guess I didn't answer your ask very well at all 😋

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖 ∘ ∘ ∘ 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 ∘ ∘ ∘ ║ ⓒⓗⓐⓟⓣⓔⓡⓔⓓ

𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖 ∘ (𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣) 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚖𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖, 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚜, 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝-𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢.

⦅ 𝚗 𝚊 𝚟 𝚒 𝚐 𝚊 𝚝 𝚒 𝚘 𝚗 ⦆ || ⦅ 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝⦆

| PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x fem!OC/reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | CONTENT: AU//no outbreak, age gap (50/24), pining, slow burn, angst, protector!Joel, soft!Joel, POV switching, patriarchal abuse, maternal abandonment, physical/mental/financial abuse, internalized values of low self-worth, unlearning negative behaviors and mindsets, societal structures concerning abuse and recovery, dysfunctional family dynamics

| SYNOPSIS: Well into the prime of your life with little to show for it, you begin to wonder if you will ever get out of the terrible home life your mom and brother already fled. Any attempt to gain independence is thwarted by your controlling, cruel father, and you fear you will be stuck forever. It's when your neighborhood acquaintance Joel Miller enters the picture that your remaining ray of hope shines a little brighter.

𝙸. 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙸𝙸. 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙸𝙸𝙸. 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙸𝚅. 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚅. 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚅𝙸. 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚅𝙸𝙸. 𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚅𝙸𝙸𝙸. 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝙸𝚇. 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚇. 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝚇𝙸. 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝚇𝙸𝙸. 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚇𝙸𝙸𝙸. 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

[tinytennisskirt]

so… autumn is approaching and you want an AMBIENT little fic… PLUS you’re an Art girlie?

chrysalism by tinytennisskirt

and you love rainy days. and you love a good smut. and you love art donaldson?

chrysalism by tinytennisskirt

shower sex? slow, and loving shower sex? sleepy morning shower sex? WITH ART?

chrysalism by tinytennisskirt

domestic love, he washes your hair for you? crazy! sleepy, lovely, sweet, smutty morning <3

[guiltyasdave]

guess who’s back 😌 i took a bit of a break from weekly fic recs last month, because i wasn’t reading that much anyway and a lot of stuff was happening in my personal life (i kicked depression’s ass and went back to work, yay me!), so i’m gonna do a monthly rec list instead.

find the masterlist with all my recs ever right here and please remember to give the writers some love <3

dividers by @/enchanthings!

i'm organizing the fics by character and adding emojis to indicate the contents a little. still, please look at the tags/warnings and decide for yourself if something might not be for you.

💘= fluff • ❤️‍🔥= smut • 🤍= angst • 🖤= dark

📖= oneshot • 📚= series

— pedro pascal characters —

dave york

when the blood creeps and the nerves prick by @gasolinerainbowpuddles ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

reversal by @punkseyes 💘❤️‍🔥📖

sunshine & rainbows by @jeewrites 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📖

after by @sp00kymulderr ❤️‍🔥🤍📖

good luck, babe by @schnarfer 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📚

dieter bravo

close encounters of the corn kind by @whocaresstillthelouvre 💘📖

din djarin

something worse by @corazondebeskar-reads 🤍🖤📖

frankie morales

in the woods by @tonysopranosrobe 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖

the harvest festival by @iknowisoundcrazy 💘📖

jack daniels

a bit of a fright by @leslie-lyman 💘🤍📖

javier peña

seasons change by @punkshort 💘🤍📖

i’ll carry you by @almostfoxglove 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📚

joel miller

goodnight kiss 💘📖, older!boyfriend joel 💘❤️‍🔥📚 & wherever you stray, i’ll follow 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖 by @cavillscurls

of rage and ruin by @corazondebeskar-reads 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

smother by @beardedjoel 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

sunset by @5oh5 💘❤️‍🔥📖

chrysalism by @gasolinerainbowpuddles 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

daddy dom!joel collection by @joelsdagger 💘❤️‍🔥📚

a great honor ❤️‍🔥🖤📖 & good neighbors ❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚 by @joelstummy

brother by @macfrog 🤍📖

see you at three by @almostfoxglove 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📚

stay awhile by @mrsmando 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖

marcus pike

only for you by @burntheedges 💘❤️‍🔥📖

max phillips

i cannot get you close enough by @leslie-lyman 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖

oberyn martell

he will slay you with his tongue by @iamasaddie ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

— hugh jackman characters —

gabriel van helsing

…fucks you in his jacket by @moonlight-prose ❤️‍🔥📖

logan howlett

of flesh and bone by @cavillscurls ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

several kinktober fics by @eupheme (individual warnings!)

future boyfriend by @wlwloverwrites ❤️‍🔥📖

several kinktober fics by @avocado-writing (individual warnings!)

wondering why 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖 & dust to dust 💘❤️‍🔥📖 by @moonlight-prose

slippin’ and slidin’ all over you! by @sceletaflores ❤️‍🔥📖

dream incarnate by @dollfacefantasy 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖

steal away by @nymphoniah ❤️‍🔥📖

no end to this road by @logaenhowlett ❤️‍🔥🤍📖

strangers by @silverskyeline ❤️‍🔥📖

sugar on the rim by @ovaryacted 💘❤️‍🔥📖

my own writing

every breath you take — dave york x f!reader 🤍🖤📖

[diracsea]

Vì đang không viết được fic nên mình sẽ ngồi tổng hợp lại những bài thơ, bài hát, đoạn văn... đã từng được mình trích dẫn trong Viết linh tinh.

1. Nothing Gold Can Stay của Robert Frost (Vàng nào ở lại)

Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

2. We Have All the Time in the World của Hal David & John Barry (Ngày ta bên nhau)

We have all the time in the world Just for love Nothing more, nothing less Only love.

3. Look on Down From the Bridge của Mazzy Star (Trên cầu mưa rơi)

Look on down from the bridge I'm still waiting for you.

4. Chrysalism của John Koenig (Ngồi nhà nghe mưa)

Chrysalism (n.) The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

5. Dream Fever cũng của John Koenig (Dù sao đi nữa)

Dream fever (n.) The intense heat on the skin of a sleeping person, a radioactive byproduct of an idle mind humming with secret delusions which then vaporize when plunged into the cooling bath of reality, thus preventing a meltdown that could endanger those close by, who tolerate the risk because it gives them energy.

6. Under the Harvest Moon của Carl Sandburg (Dưới trăng trung thu)

Under the harvest moon, When the soft silver Drips shimmering Over the garden nights, [...] Love, with little hands, Comes and touches you With a thousand memories, And asks you Beautiful, unanswerable questions.

7. Tiếng gọi của Bức Tường (Khung trời bỏ ngỏ)

Em kề vai tôi ngồi bên thềm Bỏ lại đằng sau những khúc quanh co Và cám dỗ để quay về Ở đó có tôi với em Này đây tiếng gọi rất êm Thổi ngọn lửa bừng trong mắt thêm sâu Hẹn ước ngày tháng êm đềm.

8. Get It Right của Adam Anders, Nikki Hassman, & Peer Åström (To get it right)

What have I done? I wish I could run Away from this ship going under Just trying to help Hurt everyone else Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders What can you do when your good isn't good enough And all that you touch tumbles down? Cause my best intentions Keep making a mess of things I just wanna fix it somehow But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

9. Quê nhà của Trần Tiến (À ơi hoa cải)

À ơi, hoa bay lên trời, cây chi ở lại? À ơi, hoa cải lên trời Rau răm ở lại chịu lời đắng cay.

10. Bàn tay em của Xuân Quỳnh (Tay em tay anh)

Vui, buồn trong tiếng nói, nụ cười em Qua gương mặt anh hiểu điều lo lắng Qua ánh mắt anh hiểu điều mong ngóng Anh nghĩ gì khi nhìn xuống bàn tay?

11. The Four Loves của C. S. Lewis (Một nghìn thói quen)

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

[relyingonoldships]

Of Chrysalism by @maraudersftw 

“She’s afloat in some storm worse than the tempest outside. The tears stream down her face now, and for the billionth time that week, her mind transports her back to that empty hallway, to that moment when she’d lost control to her baser instincts, when she’d kissed him mid-patrol, mid-laugh, mid-sanity, simply because it had felt unbearably painful not to do so.”

[vina-writes]

Chrysalism

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy

Rating: Teen and Up (so far oops)

Featuring: fluff, demons, kissing, lots of kissing, cuddles, sharing a bed, demon!Draco, demon summoning, dares, kittens, absolute idiocy, and Draco’s love for Prada and Gucci

Summary: n. the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

Harry’s been watching the world like this for far too long. At this point the demon eating his tuna salad at the kitchen table might be welcome.