#fernald asoue

[sometimes-they-come-back-237]

I stan protective big brother Fernald.

[drowninginredink]

Any aro/aro-spec hcs for asoue? :)

Yes! Absolutely! Let's go in order from most to least canon!

Lemony Snicket is the most demiromantic and demisexual character to have ever existed and I don't need to say anything else about that.

Montgomery Montgomery literally said "I always meant to find a wife and start a family, but it just keep slipping my mind." That is the single most aro thing I have ever heard.

Similarly, I do not remember what the exact quote is for this one, but Justice Strauss has never married because her one true love is the law. I hate Justice Strauss but that is pretty solid proof that she's aro.

Bertrand Baudelaire. I love aro Bertrand so much. I've got a post about a particular way aroace Bertrand could play out, but like, even if we aren't going with that version of events, I still love aro Bertrand. Aroallo, aroace, just aro, whatever. I love the idea that he was Beatrice's aro best friend that she ended up marrying when romance proved to be too risky in their field.

I really love the idea of Kit as aro (allo) and Dewey was the one relationship she was really able to feel comfortable in. I mean she's probably more aro-spec than aro, but I don't feel like she's a microlabel person. Her and Dewey's relationship is officially romantic, but there's something of a QPR-esque understanding between them. Also they are the most bi4bi couple I have ever seen. Kit is polyamorous and Dewey is monogamous but is totally fine with her having relationships outside of theirs. Look, I know no one ever likes the canon ships in anything, but I really love Kit and Dewey and have spent a lot of time thinking about them and have written almost 4k words of a Kit/Dewey fic I'll probably never finish but do really like.

I have no actual reason that Fernald is aroallo except that I say so and one day I want to write a fic about him and Kit in a situationship. But. He is. He is alloaro and that's the truth.

As for the Baudelaires, I don't have any solid orientation headcanons for them. The answer is usually "I don't care" unless I'm writing a fic where being queer makes them more interesting (shout-out to that lesbian Violet fic I wrote that's on FFN and one day I'll completely overhaul and put on AO3). That said, I do absolutely see Violet and Klaus as not getting into romantic relationships at the very least until after Beatrice and Sunny are adults, because they'd rather stay together as their own family unit, if they ever get into them at all. I see Violet and Klaus staying together even after Sunny and Bea move out and have their own lives. I think they would just rather have each other around than anyone else. Does that make them aro? Not necessarily. Plenty of alloromantic people never get married/have long-term partners, and plenty of aromantics do. But I still think it bears mentioning here. (Sorry to everyone who thinks they'll join back up and get together with the Quagmire they prefer to ship them with, but uh... yeah no, I don't think they see the Quagmires ever again)

[lachrymoselesbian]

Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head. also why is the image so blurry

[all-de-fandoms]

Hook Handed Man my beloved

[your-fave-is-just-a-lil-guy]

As per your totally-not-a-request, hook-handed man is just a lil guy

Fernald from A Series Of Unfortunate Events is just a little guy!

[drowninginredink]

DUDE I DIDN'T EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO HEADCANON FERNALD AS ARO.

There's a fic that's existed in my head for a good while that I'll probably never actually write that's FWB/QPR Kit/Fernald. And it's this kind of, casual, no one else quite understands it relationship between the two of them. But that's where I started thinking of Fernald as aro. Kit is allo and ends up with Dewey eventually (although does not give up her relationship with Fernald to do so), but this is all Fernald needs. Someone who will be there every once in a while and understand him effortlessly. And then she's gone again. Just a touch of connection.

But anyway, idk he just... Makes sense to me as someone aro. It just fits well with his character to me. It makes sense. And I'm glad someone else sees the vision

Also, if it's not too much can you do asoue for questions 1 and 3?

Absolutely—thank you!

a character you headcanon as aro

To name someone I haven’t already said a lot about on this blog—Fernald Widdershins! Specifically, the Netflix series version of his character. Their portrayal of Fernald is one of the few things I liked better about that adaptation than the original series. So much more thought is put into his characterization, and he’s shown to be far closer to the level of moral ambiguity displayed by the “noble” members of VFD than he is throughout most of the books. I usually hesitate to talk about aro headcanons for characters who are shown as “villains” (because the connection between Evil Characters and Characters Who Don’t Experience [Romantic] Love is already way too prevalent in both fiction and fandoms, which…really sucks when you’re aromantic). However, I feel like Fernald (this version of Fernald, at least), while he’s certainly been complicit in and committed a number of awful deeds, isn’t really a worse person than most of VFD members, and at the very least, effort has gone into characterizing and humanizing him beyond simply “oh yeah he’s some dude in Olaf’s troupe.” 

Plus, he’s just…a generally cheery sort of guy? And cheerful characters don’t typically get to be headcanoned as aromantic (at least by non-aro people), so I like seeing him as aro as a reminder both to myself and to others that it’s okay to headcanon happy people as aro, even in the dismal world of ASoUE where few people are ever “cheery.”

Ergo, aro Fernald! Who loves his sister dearly, and his (questionable) friends, and who has long discussions with the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender about things like amatonormativity and relationship anarchy. 

a character you headcanon as ace

Again, I want to go with a character I haven’t posted much on, so consider: ace Hector. He doesn’t talk much about his orientation, but he’s known for ages—figuring out you’re ace is a lot easier when you’ve grown up with people like Jacques and Monty, who are always willing to talk about their experiences of being a-spec. He tends to get nervous about having relationships with people who aren’t on the ace spectrum, because defining boundaries is difficult when you have a hard time speaking your mind, but the few times he has dated a non-ace person one of his friends always pulled them aside early on to make sure they understood how to talk to Hector without talking over or for him. It’s not a huge issue, though; although he doesn’t think he’s aro, Hector generally prefers platonic relationships to romantic ones, and hasn’t dated much since he was in his teens/early twenties. He has a great circle of close friends, even if the schism and his isolation in the Village of Fowl Devotees make it harder for him to see them. (Hector sends a lot letters. Sometimes, they even reach their intended destination without being snatched up by someone on the wrong side of the schism.)

(For this ask meme—send me a work of fiction + a number!)

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[ven10]

Do you ever wonder what Fiona thought was going on..?

[free-my-boy-grumbot]

made a series of unfortunate events quiz to feed the brain worms. enjoy :]

ALSO i wanna know if these quizzes are actually accurate at all so tell me if im right in thr tags

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)

[snicketstrange]

Behind the Periscope: The True Story of Captain Widdershins

Many people don't like Captain Widdershins, but he is actually humanity's greatest hero. Moreover, he possesses the best skill in hiding truths: he can tell half-truths and mix them with lies. I would say he is on the same level as Quigley, or even higher, in deceiving people.

He created an entire character to distract those around him. We see this in a comparison between his young version in ATWQ and his adult version in TGG. Let's analyze his adult version in TGG and see how he is an impressive agent of VFD.I find this book very interesting. I'm not following the reread, but I remember some important points in my theory. Firstly, Captain W. is certainly a big liar.

He is looking for the SB in the ocean because he received information that the SB had been thrown out of the HQ window. Certainly this information must have been received through the telegram equipment that is hypothetically broken. But it was working all the time. Surely after Klaus calculated where the SB was, Captain W sent the information to the mysterious woman or her supporters. He must have sent this information while the children were sleeping.

Thanks to that, the woman got to GG and grabbed SB. She must have arrived at the submarine with the SB in hand. And Captain W decided to abandon the submarine so urgently because the woman said something like: "I can't breathe." He must have taken the SB with him. That's why he needed to send the SB to Hotel D via the crows. The reason SB needed to go to Hotel D was because SB contained a lot of confidential information, much of that information was being cataloged in the real Hotel D.Another key thing is the backstory of the W family that mixes with the Anwistle family and Olaf's actions. It has been explained several times that the word "schism" refers to different events in the recent history of VFD.

We had the Great Schism, which the Man with a Beard and the Woman without a Beard participated in, about 40 years before the main events. As they said, it was at this event that the serpents took the willing side of the schism. Olaf, evidently still quite young, took the willing side of the schism as well, and was trained along with Lemony by VFD. Another important schism was the Anwistle Schism. It is this schism that the W family was unsure whether to participate or not.

Captain W's wife evidently sided with the schism that wanted to use the deadly MM fungus against the enemies that already existed (the incendiary side) while Captain W himself was unsure whether he would support his wife or not. That's certainly what led to the end of their marriage, and the lame excuse about Fiona's mother's death. Fiona herself was still a baby. Around this time, Olaf and Fernald teamed up to put an end to the threat of the deadly MM fungus. This development of events made Fernald very confused about VFD's morals and Olaf's morals.

According to Fernald and Lemony's words about him disagreeing with some of Captain W's attitudes, and Olaf's words about the W family never deciding which side to support in the schism, and the fact that Olaf and Fiona were close when she was still a baby, leads me to believe that Captain W was actually the great hero of humanity. An unrecognized hero, but a hero nonetheless.

The deadly MM fungus needed to be destroyed. That is a fact that, at least I, recognize. But only people who supported Anwistle's schism could approach where the fungus was being cultivated. This is evident by the fact that Kit Snicket tried to convince Anwistle through a letter, instead of solving the problem herself.Captain W had to pretend to be a supporter of Anwistle's schism and infiltrate the sect. In order to help him complete this mission, Captain W managed to marry Fiona and Fernald's mother, one of Anwistle's main persons of interest due to her research work. Additionally, Kit Snicket achieved an engineering feat: building a submarine that required a very small crew to operate, as it did not use human propulsion.Thus, Captain W became a person of interest for Anwistle's plan since his submarine could be used in all the necessary logistics. But at some point, Captain W was responsible for bringing a person from VFD with a bad reputation and experience in causing fires to Anwistle's facilities: Olaf.

Unable to explain his true intentions to Fernald, Captain W posed as a supporter of Anwistle's ideas in Fernald's eyes. And for that reason, Fernald allied with Olaf and helped in the destruction of AA and the deadly MM fungus, without knowing that this was exactly what Captain W had in mind.It was a complicated situation. Anyway, Fernald could not conceive the idea that Captain W would remain a member of VFD even knowing that VFD was responsible for cultivating the deadly MM fungus, without making the proper separation between the wheat and the chaff of VFD. That's why he joins Olaf, who from his point of view was a dissident member of VFD and one of the responsible for saving humanity.

Another important detail is how Captain W manages to pretend that he is completely unaware of JS. At no point did he show any lack of knowledge about the fact that he was actually working with JS, and instead he simply changed the subject and stated that Jacques Snicket was dead. But evidently, Captain W was working with JS. After all, JS knew that the children were arriving in a submarine. This information must have come from the submarine itself and reached JS, and this could only be possible through W's communication with JS or a supporter of JS. This leads us to believe that JS, the recipient of the message in the refrigerator in TSS, was expected at the VFD HQ. He would receive the SB. And he must indeed have received it. After all, the person who really took on the role of Jacques Snicket must have been his brother Lemony Snicket, who is also disguised as a taxi driver, and received the SB just as he had wanted to from the beginning. (In TPP). In other words, Captain W saved humanity again: he prevented the SB from falling into the wrong hands.

[library-child]

Olaf’s Mansion

Written for @asouefanworkevent

"Hey, boss!" Fernald pushed the door open and waved the latest edition of The Daily Punctilio he was holding. Learning to hold a newspaper with his hook had taken him a while. "Have you seen the review? We were marvelous! You -"

The newspaper slid from his hook and landed on the floor of Count Olaf's tower room amid scraps of paper and empty wine bottles. Olaf was lying on the floor, eyes closed and ghostly pale. His arms were stretched out before him, his fingers bent to claws.

"Boss, why do you keep doing this? We were going to celebrate!"

Olaf didn't move. Only now, Fernald spotted the blood and splinters under his fingernails. All around him, fresh marks had been scratched into the wooden floor. They were sloppy, but he recognized the eye insignias at once.

[afterthegreatunknown]

fernald discovering he takes after his biological father (an eventual no-good dead beat) when it comes to his coffee obsession and hating it greatly, but fernald doesn't stop drinking coffee because it's at least not turkish coffee he's obsessing with.

[lachrymoselesbian]

these two are t4t by the way.

[gellavonhamster]

near dark (1987) but make it asoue

@carnivorous-horses-lover first of all, thank you for enabling me

Secondly, imagine, if you will, a small-town young man who works at his stepfather's farm. The young man's name is Fernald, and his life is pretty miserable - his attempt at an acting career in the City failed, forcing him to return to his hometown, and now he's stuck in a routine he doesn't enjoy. His relationship with his stepfather Widdershins isn't great - in part, probably, because his stepfather is a pretty miserable man too, a former sea captain now bound to live on land after sustaining injuries that made him unfit for life at sea. Nearly the only bright spot for Fernald is his teenage sister, Fiona - she's talented and smart, and surely won't become a failure like him.

One evening, as Fernald is getting drunk at the bar after a particularly angry row with his stepfather, he meets a cute and charming person called Orlando (I think this name would fit in fine in this AU - iirc, Sunny refers to the Henchperson like that at some point either in the books or in the series, and Virginia Woolf's Orlando is able to live for centuries without growing old). They hit it off right away, and damn, this might be the drink talking, but Fernald feels like he's falling in love. At the end of the night, just before sunrise, as Orlando is about to leave, he kisses them.

And then Orlando bites him. Bites him and sucks his blood.

After that, Orlando runs away without explanation, so at first, Fernald doesn't understand what has happened to him. But then the rising sun starts burning his flesh. As he's trying to hide in the shade, an RV drives up, and Orlando pulls him in. Inside, he finds a group of people all screaming at Orlando that they should kill Fernald, but then Orlando tells them that they've already turned him, and, after some discussion, the strangers inform him that they'll let him live - for now. Fernald learns that his new acquaintances are a band of vampires who roam the Land of Districts under the guise of a travelling acting troupe. The band is led by Count Olaf, a man claiming to have been an 18th century nobleman. Apart from him and Orlando, there's Olaf's girlfriend Esme, a Bald Man, two White-Faced Women, and Carmelita, a tween girl recently turned by Esme when the latter decided she wanted a daughter. They travel from town to town, kill people to feed, and occasionally steal a new vehicle and burn the old one to cover up their tracks.

The Count and the others tell Fernald that they're going to give him a probational period of sorts - he gets a week to learn to hunt, and if he doesn't, they're going to get rid of him. The problem is, Fernald can't make himself kill people. His thirst is strong and he can feel his organism starting to reject human food, but he cannot overcome his fear and disgust. Orlando helps him by hunting for him and feeding him their blood after they have fed themselves, but they tell him this cannot go on, and Fernald knows that eventually he has either to become a murderer or be murdered. In the Village of Fowl Devotees, where the vampires attack a bar, he fails to kill a local handyman and lets him escape. Everyone but Orlando is furious and wants to kill him, but then the police arrive, and Fernald risks his life to help the rest of the group escape. This pacifies the vampires, and they decide to give him more time to adjust.

Meanwhile, Widdershins and Fiona follow the trail of the vampires' rampage from town to town, hoping to catch up with Fernald and see if he can still be saved. They meet the handyman, Hector, who has seen which direction the vampires drove off to. After driving all day, they decide to stay at a motel, not knowing that Olaf's troupe is also staying there. At some point, while Widdershins isn't present, Fiona goes out of their room and runs into Carmelita. They strike a conversation, and Carmelita, happy to finally have someone her age to talk to, invites Fiona to their room. When Fiona sees her brother, she is overjoyed, but he immediately gets worried and tells her to leave. It is, however, too late: Carmelita wants a friend, and even though Olaf hates the idea, Esme is still fond enough of her toy - pardon, her child - to indulge her whims.

Luckily, Widdershins arrives and threatens the vampires with a gun. A scuffle ensures, and the whole family, including Fernald, manages to escape. For some reason, Widdershins is sure that a blood transfusion might help Fernald revert to human state. They try it, and it works.

The family returns home and wards the house against vampires ("but Stepfather, how do you even know all these things?" - "don't worry about it"), yet it turns out they've been followed. At night, Orlando comes and persuades Fernald to go out and talk to them. They try to convince Fernald to let them bite him again and go back with them, but eventually, unable to lie anymore, they break down and reveal that the other vampires made them distract him. Turns out that while they were talking, Olaf's troupe somehow broke through the protection of the house. Fernald discovers that his stepfather is grievously wounded and his sister is gone. Widdershins tells him that the vampires took Fiona away and urges Fernald to follow them. Fernald calls the ambulance for his stepfather and leaves to chase the troupe, who have by then picked up Orlando and driven away. He is attacked by the Bald Man and the White-Faced Women, but manages to defeat them.

Orlando, who is genuinely in love with Fernald, decides to risk incurring Olaf and Esme's wrath and help Fiona escape. Together they break out of the car and run towards Fernald. The sun is rising, and Orlando has to cover themselves with a jacket, because the sun keeps burning them. Furious Olaf and Esme, with Carmelita in the backseat, pursue them and attempt to run them over with their car. Fernald manages to push Fiona and Orlando away, but the car crashes into him, and he passes out.

He regains consciousness in the same small - and, honestly, shady-looking - hospital where his blood transfusion was performed. He is aching all over, and one of his hands has been amputated, but he's alive. Fiona is there, and so is his father, bruised but still standing - and Orlando, who has also been cured by a blood transfusion. Another person present, strangely, is the handyman from the Village of Fowl Devotees. He tells them that the car with the vampires exploded in the crash, but no human remains were found when the fire was extinguished. Perhaps they burned to ashes completely. Perhaps not.

Okay, says Fernald, what the hell. Why are you here? How did Stepfather know that the blood transfusions would help? What kind of hospital is this?

Widdershins and Hector share an awkward glance.

There used to be an... organization some years ago, they tell him. An organization created to battle supernatural threats. It was founded long ago by people privy to the secrets of the world. But it has been dying out for decades, and their generation was the last. Too many died, too many quit out of fear (Hector looks away, embarrassed), too many were seduced by the occult and joined the other side. But the few still remain - the ones who don't seek out the enemy actively, but still remember how to fight against it.

They call themselves volunteers.

And it seems no one can hide from what one is forever.

[beatricebidelaire]

lemony snicket: the man, the myth, the legend

~1.9k. Fernald vs the Snicket Siblings

__

Like all other apprentices of the same era, Fernald has heard of Lemony Snicket.

Lemony Snicket is something of a urban legend. A myth. Okay, maybe that's exaggerating it a bit. But they've all heard of him and his reputation, and for them, Lemony Snicket represents some kind of - hope. For the generation who grew up as the schism was quickly worsening, yet the line that divided the sides seemed to get blurrier instead of clearer as time went on; for the generation of volunteers who'd lost even more hope, gotten even more confused then the previous volunteers (or, had every generation thought that way? Fernald doesn't not know, it is possible) - for them, as they questioned themselves, as they questioned what VFD stood for and what the enemies of VFD stood for, Lemony Snicket represented some kind of hope. The rebel, yet with intention to do good. The one who walked away from his apprenticeship, who almost disregarded the volunteer label, yet never stopped volunteering, action-wise.

Lemony Snicket, who killed a man to save a town, at the age of 13. Or almost 13. The urban legend was a bit unclear on that part.

Lemony Snicket, who saw what's wrong with VFD and didn't keep silent about it. Lemony Snicket, who blatantly chose the last-ranking chaperone. Lemony Snicket, who didn't follow the rules of VFD. But unlike others who did it because of their own benefits, he did it because what was right.

Of course, there are probably other volunteers who did the same kinds of things, other volunteers who tried to revolutionize VFD from within. A group of people, not necessarily all together as a group - perhaps just each with their individual efforts. It's too big a thing to pin on Snicket himself, whether those who want to label him as a hero for doing so, or a villain for doing so. But that's the thing about people who become legends - sometimes, other stories tended to fade to background in comparison. It's sometimes easier to rally behind a specific hero image, or just to shove all the blame onto one specific person, to pin as the villain.

Lemony Snicket is on the run. He's on the lam, accused of multiple accounts of arson. VFD, as an organization, didn't seem to rush to defend him, as Snicket was labelled an arsonist, therefore supposedly, an enemy of VFD. But those who have heard of Snicket's story knew that there had to be something more - perhaps Snicket was innocent, and framed; or perhaps he did set those fires, but knowing Lemony Snicket's story, surely he must've had a good reason. Because Lemony Snicket has always been a rulebreaker, but he was never evil. Never the villain of the story, although perhaps an anti-hero of some kind. Perhaps he was trying to save people with those fires. Nobody knew the details of the story - no one in Fernald's immediate social circle, anyway.

That's the thing about urban legends - you just know the story, but never the exact details.

[continue reading on squidgeworld] [ao3]