#female characters get roped into this WAY too often

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Flower Crowns - Dwalin X Female (Baggins) Reader

Title: Flower Crowns

Dwalin X Female Reader

Additional Characters: The Company, Ori, Kili, Fili, Thorin, Bofur, Balin, Oin (Mentioned), Bomber (Mentioned), Gandalf (Mentioned), Bilbo, Bard (Mentioned), Bard's kids (Mentioned), Alfrid (Mentioned), and the Mirkwood Elves (including Legolas and Tauriel (Mentioned))

Requested By: Anon!

WC: 5,252

Warnings: The Hobbit canon violence/weapons/death/etc, Reader is Bilbo's sister, misunderstandings, broody Dwalin, blood, injuries, nicknames, crying (brief), orcs, death, Ones, giant spiders, movie reference to a different movie (bonus points for those who get it), yelling, angst, and fluff

Trudging up the path with a woven basket of homemade muffins, you made your way up to Bilbo's home. You were a bit late. You were supposed to be at Bilbo's over an hour ago, but you had misjudged when you'd finish your muffins. And you knew how much Bilbo loved your muffins, so you were sure he wouldn't be too annoyed by your tardiness after eating a muffin or two.

Stopping at the door, you let out a small huff before knocking on the round door... Only to receive no answer. You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows before just entering. Pushing the door closed behind you, you heard voices from somewhere else in the Hobbit hole, confusing you even more. Had Bilbo invited others to dinner?

"Bilbo?" You called out, beginning to wander over towards the voices that quickly stopped after you spoke.

But before you could say anything more, Bilbo popped out into the hallway, rushing over to you. "Y/N, I believe we'll have to reschedule dinner." He spoke, rushed as he tried turning you around.

Your frown deepened as you twisted around in his hold, your eyes staring at the circular entrance of the dining room, "What do you mean? Who have you invited over?" Your curiosity was peaked now, and you wanted answers. 

"Nothing! No one! Lovely seeing you!" Bilbo exclaimed, pushing you backward towards the door, ready to get you out. But before he could, you ducked out of his arms and sped towards the dining room. 

You skidded to a halt at the entrance, eyes widening as your jaw dropped slightly. Bilbo sighed, rubbing his face with both of his hands before walking over and standing beside you. Eyes glued to the surprise visitors, you leaned over to Bilbo slightly; eyes unmoving from the surprise guests, "Bilbo... Why do you have thirteen Dwarves and a wizard in your dining room?"

~~~

And that was how you got roped into traveling alongside Bilbo, Gandalf, and the rest of the Company. Gandalf somehow convinced Thorin that having a second Hobbit would benefit the Company. And, unlike your brother, you wanted to go with them. You had read so many books about adventure and heard so many stories... You wanted to get out into the world and go on adventures that you had read in those books. 

During the first few days of the journey to The Lonely Mountain, you became friends with most, if not all, of the Company. Kili and FIli, for example - the two youngest members of the Company - took you under their wing. When Thorin allowed the Company to rest, they would teach you how to defend yourself. Most lessons usually turned into fooling around most of the time, despite Thorin's grumblings. Fili and Kili were fun people to be around. They never failed to make you laugh, which was welcomed when having to face orcs and goblins almost daily. 

Balin was like a father figure to you, always giving worldly and wise advice. Bomber often let you help in the making of breakfast and dinner. Ori, the sweetest of the bunch, would tell you stories, which you eagerly accepted to listen to every time. It gave you something to look forward to. And Oin, when free to do so, would teach you the basics of healing; showing you what herbs and plants worked best for certain ailments, which ones should be avoided, and so on.

You enjoyed each member of the Company's presence, but Thorin and Dwalin were the only two who hardly spoke a word to you. You weren't sure whether it was because they believed you didn't belong in the company, or because they were just not talkers. You hoped it was the latter.

But between the two, you really liked Dwalin. You liked his gruff demeanor - the brooding look on his face - and in addition, you really found him attractive. His muscular build, strong arm muscles, and dark hair; not to mention the tattoos on his arms - you wondered what their stories were. It surprised you, in the beginning, when you finally let the realization sink in. Even Bilbo, the only one that you had told about this attraction - you didn't fully trust Kili and Fili with the information - Bilbo was shocked, to say the least. 

~~~

Walking with Kili and Fili, you snatched up bundles of flowers as you went, weaving and braiding them together into a crown. You had already made one for yourself, and Fili and Kili were quite invested in your creative, colorful craft.

"Where did you learn to create such things?" Fili asked as he watched you bend down, snatching up another flower from the grassy ground.

You shrugged, tying off another flower, "In Hobbiton, of course, Fili, dear," You began, fixing some of the flowers before continuing, "In originality, my mother taught me." You finished, weaving another flower into the crown.

"How does one make such intricate designs?" Kili then asked, twisting the stem of a flower between his fingers in thought. 

You smiled back at him, "Well, it is quite simple, Kili, dear," You began, "You just have to braid the stems of the flowers together. Simple really." You answered, spying on Dwalin near the front of the line - just behind Thorin, you glanced over at the two Princes' beside you, "I'll be just a moment." You spoke before jogging over.

Your smile widened as you matched Dwalin's pace once by his side. Looking over and up at him, he didn't acknowledge your presence. It never bothered you, him ignoring you... You understood that Dwalin was not the type of person to just chit-chat, especially when there were bigger things to do and worry about. Lonely Mountain speaking. 

Finishing the flower crown in your hands, you offered it up to the Dwarf, a bright smile on your face. "I made this for you." You explained softly, the flower crown - made of yellow, white, and red wildflowers - sitting in your hands. 

Dwaling stopped, and so did the rest of the Company. You suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over you - all eyes on the two of you - watching as Dwalin slowly turned his head to look down at you, to the crown, and back. And for a moment, you thought that you saw something flash in his eyes, something that wasn’t brooding, determined, or angry. You swallowed, finding yourself unable to take your eyes off his, your ears and cheeks burning as he grumbled and huffed through his nose. You were confused, your hope and happiness dwindling - your hands lowering slowly - as Dwalin turned and continued walking. 

Fully dropping your hands to your sides, you watched him go; feeling completely rejected. You knew that it was stupid. It was just a flower crown... And yet, you still held onto it with all of your heart, clutching it tightly in your hand; unintentionally crushing the flowers beneath your fingers. What did you do wrong? You just wanted him to like you... Tears stung in your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of everyone. 

The rest of the Company soon passed you, some giving you sympathetic smiles, some patting you on your shoulder or back. Fili and Kili stopped beside you, Kili frowning softly, as Fili gave you a pat on the top of your head; careful not to disturb the flower crown on your head. 

"Don't worry, Miss Y/N," Fili spoke, "He'll come around."

Kili nodded, "I assure you, he will." He let out a small chuckle, but you knew he wasn’t laughing at you. That was just him.

You nodded, doubting, but saying nothing more as they turned and followed the group; Bilbo finally coming over. "I'm alright." You muttered, looking up at him. You knew that he was going to ask you if you were alright.

"I'm sorry, Y/N..."

You shook your head, "No, it's okay." You whispered softly, trying to give him the best smile you could give him to ease his worries, "I don't know why I am so caught up in this... I must understand that I'm not really everyone's cup of tea. Not everyone wants to be my friend. If he doesn't want to be friends with me... Then, that's alright." You explained softly. Bilbo stared at you for a long moment before you began walking, dropping the flower crown to the ground. 

~~~

The night was cold, the stars shining brightly down from the sky as you huddled close to Bilbo; next to the fire. It was hard to sleep, still not fully used to sleeping on the woodland ground, but you were getting there. And, soon, you found yourself drifting off to sleep.

Dwalin, on the other hand, having the first night watch, stared into the fire before him. It was quiet, aside from the fire crackling and the crickets chirping. Dwalin seemed to be lost inside his own mind, his eyebrows furrowed, and dark eyes narrowed in thought. Hearing a small grunt and feeling the log under him move slightly, Dwalin glanced over to see Balin sitting beside him. Balin hummed lowly, staring at the fire, rubbing the palms of his hands together.

"She didn't know, Dwalin." He spoke softly, not wanting to wake the others from their sleep, and only getting a deep mumble from his younger brother; at the mention of you, Dwalin's eyes flickered from the fire to your sleeping figure; curled up beside Bilbo. "She does not know of our courtship rituals. I should’ve told her more about our culture." Again, getting nothing from Dwalin, Balin continued, "She only wishes you to speak to her. You have hardly spoken a word to her since leaving Bilbo's home." He stared at his brother's side profile, "You can confide in me, brother."

Dwalin continued his silence, his eyes falling upon you once more. He was conflicted. Ever since he saw you enter the dining room of Bilbo's Hobbit hole, Dwalin had been unable to stop thinking about you. The way you moved and talked... Your features were sharp, yet delicate, your lips pouting, and your hair flowing. You were kind, bright, and soft; everything Dwalin wasn't. Dwalin was rough and tough. He had scars, he had seen death, and he had seen suffering. But, you... He had never seen someone as beautiful as you. You were different. Dwalin sighed deeply, looking away from you. He didn't know how to approach you; he couldn't bring himself to act on his feelings. 

But he knew that you were his One.

He knew the moment he saw you. 

Dwalin hated being vulnerable, and he hated admitting anything to anyone. So he sat, his jaw clenched tight, trying his hardest to fight his growing feelings for you. 

"She's my One." Dwalin found himself muttering, far too quiet for most to hear, but Balin heard.

A knowing smile graced his oldened features. "I presumed so." Balin spoke with a hum, "I can only... Advise that you should speak to her. She cares for you. I am sure that she would understand." Balin stated, before letting out a small sigh, standing, "Think about it, will you?" And with that, Balin found his sleep sack, rolling into it and falling asleep.

Dwalin stayed awake much longer into the night, contemplating his decision as he waited for Gloin to take over the night watch. His older brother's words echoed throughout his head, and with a deep gruff, he let his eyes stray from the fire; the light making his eyes burn slightly. His eyes flickered from around the woods that surrounded him, to the Company before finding the stars and the moon in the sky, and finally... Back to you.

You, in your sleep, muttered something softly, unnoticeable. He watched as you rolled to your side, shivering, your hand pulling the fur blanket closer to you. Dwalin's eyes lingered on you, his mouth slightly agape before he snapped his gaze away. Feeling a wave of frustration towards himself, Dwalin's gaze landed on his sleep role. 

~~~

The next morning, you woke up to a bright blue sky, filled with white, fluffy clouds. You let out a sigh, eyelids fluttering as you shifted slightly and let out a breath. You groaned lightly before freezing. Your fingers brushed against the fur blanket over you, feeling the coarseness of the material. It was warm. Very warm.

Your eyebrows furrowed; confused. You opened one eye, squinting at the bright sun that was peaking above the tree canopies. Slowly turning over onto your back, you sat up, looking down at the blanket... Or should you say... Blankets?

You stared down at the fur blanket, that was not your own, before flipping the fur up, spying your fur blanket underneath. This second fur blanket - which wasn't yours - was a deep brown color, with little bits of white. Who gave you this last night? Were you really that cold last night that one of the Dwarves had given you their blanket out of kindness or pity? You felt a sense of gratitude fill your chest. Looking down at the furry blanket, you couldn't help but let out a smile. 

Looking up, you let your eyes survey the small camp, hopping from Dwarf to Dwarf until they settled on one. Dwalin. A wave of warmth passed over you, watching as he packed his sleep role away and into his pack. As Dwalin stood to leave, he glanced over at you, meeting your gaze for a brief moment; before quickly darting his eyes away, going over to Thorin. 

You felt the corners of your lips twitch slightly, a frown threatening to form on your face as you looked at Dwalin's retreating back. Did he hate you? Did he find you annoying? All these questions ran through your head, but you only huffed, getting up from your sleep role. You were not going to let Dwalin's behavior towards you sour your mood. Today was a beautiful day, and you wanted to savor it. 

~~~

You couldn't see, and all you could feel was the feeling of falling. You felt as if you were wrapped in something. It was tight around you, almost suffocating. Anxiety washed over you, gripping your heart painfully as your lungs begged for air. But you could hardly breathe. You needed to breathe, but you were trapped. You clawed at the sticky white substance that surrounded you, trying to rip it and free yourself, but you were not strong enough. You felt like giving up, though you knew you couldn't, but as you clawed at the sticky film, you could finally hear what was going on outside of the cocoon. You could hear the Dwarves yelling, yelling about spiders. 

Before you could do anything else, someone from the outside ripped open your cocoon. You blinked rapidly at the slight change of light, finding yourself back in the creepy woods. A large hand reached out to you and you quickly grabbed it, the person behind the strong hand pulling you up with force. Stumbling slightly, you felt slightly dazed, the hand still in yours as you found yourself in a giant spider fight. 

As you stood amidst the chaotic scene of giant spiders attacking the Company, your heart raced with fear and adrenaline. Eyes unable to leave the giant spiders - tunnel-vision - you gripped the hand in yours; giving you slight reassurance. The air was filled with the sounds of battle - the clang of weapons, the hiss of the spiders, and the shouts of the Dwarves. You could feel the sticky strands of webbing brush against your skin as you dodged and weaved through the throng of arachnids. You felt gross and dirty; and for the first time since the start of this long journey to The Lonely Mountain, you missed your Hobbit home.

With each passing moment, the fight intensified, the odds seemingly stacked against you and the Company. Your wide eyes danced around you, trying to spot Bilbo, but you couldn't find him. You wanted to yell out, to shout, but as your mouth opened, no words came out. There was an odd buzzing noise in your ears, your heart was beating loudly in your chest; harsh against your ribcage. Only then, did you look at the person who held you so close to them. You thought it couldn't have been Kili or Fili, but you spotted the two Princes when you lifted your gaze. Looking down at the hand that held yours, you felt your racing heart freeze for just a moment; an auditable hitch escaped your throat, but you didn't dare utter a sound. 

Standing in front of you and holding your hand tightly in his own was none other than Dwalin. You knew it was him. You knew those tattoos. Trailing up his muscular arm, you were finally met with the side of his face. His expression was hardened as he held his weapon tightly in his other hand. Aside from the anxiety and nervousness that had overcome you, you were incredibly impressed. Dwalin, with one hand, fought off giant spiders, whilst also keeping you perfectly safe. 

At the sound of something coming from up in the trees, you looked up, watching as no more than two dozen elves jumped to the ground, taking out the last of the large, monstrous spiders from around you. One of the Elves spoke to another, you noted her red hair as they spoke in Elvish. You wished that you could understand them. Your awe of them quickly diminished when they drew their weapons, arrows drawn and at the ready; circling around you and the Company. Soon, they demanded your weapons, and before you knew it, all the Dwarves were weaponless. 

"What about her?" One Elven guard asked in a demanding tone. Your eyes lifted up, finding the guard staring down at you. "Hand whatever you have over instantly." He demanded, holding out his hand, only for Dwalin's hand in yours to tighten slightly, gently pushing you behind him.

"She bears no weapons, Elf." He spoke in his deep, gruff, disgruntled voice. The Elf stared down at Dwalin for a moment before staring right back down at you, with a sniff and a small 'humph' he turned away. 

The blonde Elf, the one that you believed to be in charge of the whole group, yelled out something in Elvish, and before you knew it, you and your Dwarven friends were being pushed along, being led to hopefully, not your doom. Passing Thorin, you looked at him with pleading eyes, "Thorin, where's Bilbo?" Only for your answer to be unanswered. 

Your hand never left Dwalin's, your free, unoccupied hand found his arm; the skin upon skin contact grounded you, allowing you to calm yourself ever so slightly. You finally took a chance to look around, finding the forest opening, revealing a stone bridge. Pillars, beautifully carved, gave way to the entrance of Mirkwood, the Elven Kingdom. You wished you had the time to admire the architecture of the kingdom, but, sadly, you did not. Before you knew it you were being tossed into a cell.  

A hand fell upon your shoulder, pulling you to the side, your hands falling from Dwalin's. "Dwalin!" You called out, trying to reach for him, but you were soon shoved into a cell. Stumbling over your feet, you braced yourself on the rock interior of the cell. Hearing the heavy cell door close behind you, you snapped your head up; feeling exhausted, mentally and physically, but you pushed yourself forward. Your hands curled around the bars, trying to look at the cells beside yours. The sound of the now-captured Dwarves - yelling and complaining. 

"Miss Y/N!" Fili yelled out, only a few cells away from yours, "Are you alright!?"

"I'm fine!" You called back, "Is everyone else alright?"

Most, if not all, of the Dwarves, replied with various 'ayes’. You sighed in relief, closing your eyes; the chill of the cell door refreshing on your forehead. 

Sitting on the floor - you felt the hours pass you by slowly - you pressed the back of your head against the wall; tired. "I wager the sun is on the rise. Must be nearly dawn." Bofur called out, his voice echoing throughout. Your eyes fluttered open, a yawn leaving your parched mouth. 

"We're never going to reach the mountain, are we?" Ori asked, sounding resigned, making you sigh.

"Don't fret, Ori, dearest." You spoke up, sounding a bit resigned yourself, but you were determined to keep everyone's spirits high. "We'll make it." You continued, looking out of your cell door, "We will." With that said, you stood up from the ground, wincing as pain shot through your legs. Looking down, you noticed a rip in your trousers that you replaced your usual dress with. Pushing the ripped fabric to the side, you then noticed a red substance that trailed down your leg; coming from a small scratch on your calf. "Well," You spoke up, clearing your throat. "I may have been slightly injured."

Simultaneously, the Dwarves began to talk. Their voices became louder, some with more worry and concern. "Miss Y/N, you are injured!?" You heard Fili call from his cell.

"Yes, tis but a scratch." You explained, hoping the Dwarves would stop fussing over you. You weren't a damsel in distress. You were strong, even with a bloody scratch. "But worry not, dearest Dwarves, it's nothing I can't handle."

"You won't have to handle it for long." You heard, eyes widening - mimicking your bright smile - as Bilbo appeared at your cell door, holding the keys. 

~~~

When you joined the Company on their journey, you did not expect that you'd trick goblins, climb bit trees, fly on eagles, fight giant spiders, and barrel ride down a raging river. This was certainly an adventure that you'd go through again, minus the goblins and giant spiders; you'd love to fly with the eagles again.

Somehow, you survived, floating down the raging river, your clothes all sopping wet, and river water dripping from your hair. As all of your barrels fell down a waterfall, you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Behind you, you could hear the laughter of some of the dwarves. For a moment, you forgot about your injuries; and the exhaustion that was seeping into every fiber of your body. Your hands tightened your grip on the railing of the barrel, praying for it to not capsize or tip over, your fingers growing numb with cold. You tried desperately to ignore what was going on around you. Smelling the fresh air, and hearing the birds chirping above you, almost made you forget everything else.

But at the sound of a horn, you were quickly snapped out of your head, watching as the suited Elves began to shut the gate; the only way to escape. All joy, and a sense of freedom, flew right out of the window. You all collided with each other at the closed gate, you huffed, glaring up at the Elven guards before your eyes caught sight of an arrow flying through the air, and into one of the guards. 

"Orcs!" You yelled out, gesturing up at the guards, as the one that was shot fell into the water below; almost hitting you. "Why does it always have to be orcs?"

You dodged the best you could when dead elves and dead orcs fell into the water, along with dodging arrows, and over-confidant orcs that tried to swing at your head. 

You were about to call for Bilbo, but when you turned your head, you watched as your brother stabbed a sword into an orc, defending one of the dwarves. 

"Miss Y/N!" Ori cried out, making you look over to him, only for him to point above you. 

You looked up, your eyes widening at an orc - dead - began falling towards you. Unable to move, almost frozen in fear, you squeezed your eyes shut and shielded yourself with your arms, only for your barrel to be pushed back and out of the way. You opened your eyes, blinking them rapidly as the river water splashed in your face. Looking over, you just saw a glimpse of Dwalin turning back around. Despite the obvious danger that you were all in, you wondered what you could do for Dwalin since he had saved your life twice now. 

Turning your eyes to the side, you watched as Kili ran up the side of the stone top of the gate, you covered your mouth as an arrow flew through the air and hit him in the leg. Fili cried out of this younger brother, as Kili then opened the gate, and fell into an empty barrel. 

Falling down, yet another waterfall, smaller than the last, you pushed your wet hair from your face, only to grip the barrel with as much force as you could; the raging, white-foaming waters continued. Looking to your side slightly, you watched as Bilbo held onto a barrel, holding onto the sideway barrel, his own death-like grip. You felt a small bit of relief, seeing him safe. You, and the Company, continued down the river, and the longer you tried not to tip over and drown, the more you wished that you weren't in the freezing waters. 

Finally, the raging stopped, and the river was calm. Leaning over slightly in the barrel, you brushed your hands in the freezing water, moving your barrel forward slowly, but carefully. 

"Make for the shore!" Thorin yelled out, receiving some 'ayes' in return.

Pushing your barrel forward, you pressed your cheek against the rim of the barrel, your eyes drooping slightly as you continued to push yourself toward the shore. Your barrel soon hit the rocks, and you used the rest of your strength to get out of it, climbing up onto the rocks; completely soaked. You trudged up the rocks, wrapping your arms around yourself as you mentally counted those around you, counting fourteen. Mentally, you could rest.

Feeling a hand on your upper arm, you looked to the side, seeing your brother Bilbo. Just his presence made you give him a small smile, seeing the worry in his eyes. "I'm alright." You spoke to him, wanting to reassure him, "I'm just cold."

At the surprise of meeting Bard, the human, you sort of let your brain shut off. You felt your feet move as you followed the Dwarves to Bard's boat. You felt yourself sitting down in the corner next to Bilbo, and hiding from Alfrid, but you were far from the present. You were so tired, mentally and physically, that you let your mind quiet, letting yourself only fade back into the world you knew once you felt the warm fire at your feet.

"Wee lass hasn't spoken since the Elves." You heard a hushed voice, it was Bofur. 

You pressed your legs closer to yourself, staring into the flames. The clothing you were given, having been one of Bard's daughters, was warm; the fabric soft - your fingers toyed with the soft material. 

"Is she alright?" Ori asked worriedly, only for Bilbo to nod, crossing his arms. 

"She's alright. She had told me so." Thorin only gave you a short glance before turning back to Bard. 

Dwalin, with his arms crossed, turned to look at you, staring at your side profile. Glancing over at the table that Bilbo sat at, Dwalin said nothing, walking over to the table and grabbing a plate. Bilbo, in turn, watched as Dwalin filled the plate with a few potatoes, two small tomatoes, and a small slice of bread. 

Your eyes picked up the sound of heavy footfalls coming towards you, and at the sight of a plate coming into your field of vision, you moved your head to look up. As you looked at Dwalin, his face stoic as usual, you couldn't help but smile. Taking the plate, your fingers briefly brushed against his.

"Thank you, Dwalin." You spoke softly, but before he could slink away, you grabbed his hand, stopping him. For a moment, you thought back to when he held your hand so tightly - protectively - in the Mirkwood forests. "Thank you for saving me. Twice." You smiled at him softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. "And I apologize if I had anything to upset you, or make you uncomfortable." He glanced over at you, then down at your hand which was wrapped around his. He didn't remove his hand from yours, giving you the same squeeze that you had received from him earlier today. 

Dwalin stared at your hand in his, his jaw clenching before he looked back to you, his eyes softening. "You did not, dorzada." He spoke gruffly, “Eat.” He finished before leaving your side, your hand dropping from his. 

You looked down at your plate of food, your stomach grumbling and spinning, as your mind wandered. Picking up the slice of bread, you bit down on it, thinking about the word that Dwalin called you. You wondered what it meant. 

~~~

"Oin, stay with Kili." Thorin commanded as the rest of the Dwarves began to gather their things. Without being told, Fili stayed by his brother's side. 

"I want to come too." You spoke, grabbing a random weapon from the wooden table.

Dwalin quickly turned, staring down at you, "It will be too dangerous for you, lass."

You huffed, lightly glaring up at the Dwarf, "I have fought trolls, orcs, what have you." You pointed out, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I want to fight."

"This is against us Dwarves and the dragon." He grumbled, his hand taking a hold of the weapon in yours. "You'll die before the beast does."

"I'm already dying anyway," You shrugged, looking back down at your weapon, "From the moment we're born, we're dying. So, what is the point? I want to help."

Dwalin breathed out of his nose as he took hold of your other hand, "No, no, lass, you are staying here, with Kili, while the rest of us fight."

"Are you telling me, or are you commanding me, Dwalin?" You asked, voice becoming soft as his eyes bored into your own. "Do as you wish then," You sighed when receiving no answer, letting go of his hands, "But please, do not die." 

Dwalin humphed, the corners of his lips just twisting up into a small grin, and for a moment, you were stunned. Dwalin was smiling. "Don't worry," He spoke. "I won't." His gaze softened, as he stepped back from you, "Be safe, lass." With that, he started to walk away, only for you to grab his arm and stop him. You didn't say anything else, merely pulling him close to you.

You felt him tense in your abrupt embrace before his one hand, not holding his weapon, circled you. But, it all ended too soon, as he pulled back from you, nodding to you before turning his attention to the group, as they set off to The Lonely Mountain. 

Your shoulders sagged when the door closed, a small pout upon your lips, "Do not fret, Miss Y/N," Fili spoke from beside his brother as you turned to look over at the four Dwarves - Kili, Fili, Bofur, and Oin. "They will return."

You let out a sigh, looking out at the window. A fuzzy feeling rose within your chest, and you couldn't help but smile to yourself. After watching them disappear into the distance, the sun went to sleep, "I know."

---

Main Masterlist | The Hobbit/LOTR Masterlist

[tobiasdrake]

I love the way women depict women.

A lot of action and fantasy media is male-focused. Made by men, for men. Sometimes made by women for men or by men for women but in both of those cases, male-centric understanding of the world often dominates nonetheless.

Created by Stan Lee and John Buscema to be a sexy female Hulk, original comic book Jen falls well into that category. And the comics love putting her body and sexuality on display, right down to the infamous "BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT" naked jump-rope issue. You know the one. No, that wasn't a meme. That was a real thing that they did with this character.

But the MCU's Jen is produced and directed by women, for women. And the difference is palpable.

In male-centric media, female characters are frequently confrontational for no reason. Take something like Stranger Things, which introduces a second girl to one of its three cast herds in its second season, and they instantly despise each other from the second they meet. It isn't until the third season that the showrunners stop doing that. Women presented by men are often catty and mean to each other by default. Because that's how men view women.

But then you sit down to something like She-Hulk, something made by women for women, and you get things like the bathroom scene. A group of women come into the bathroom to find Jen bloody and disoriented. And they lightswitch into Mission Mode.

Because they know.

They aren't entirely correct in their assumptions, because Jen's dealing with supernatural fantasy bullshit. But they know. And they drop what they're doing to help out a strange woman they've never met who seems to be going through a familiar crisis. Whatever they were doing before, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters more than forming a wall, talking this woman through what she's going through, and getting her to safety.

Because that's how women view women.

And we don't get to see enough of it in media. In an ocean of bromances, there are too few scenes of women even just stepping forward to have another woman's back.

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hi Tumblr Peeps😁I have decided to work on another Hunter x Hunter character😃I have been trying to come up with another Hunter x Hunter fanfic and which character to write about... So, Chrollo Lucilfer is someone I began to have in mind😈

🕯️🕷️Chrollo's About To Make Your Night The Special Most Special Night Of Your Life🕷️🕯️(Chrollo Lucilfer x Female Reader)

Genres: Possible Angst In The Very Beginning, Smut, and Fluff At The End (Warning +18⚠️: Possible Domestic Violence (because of attempted hitting) In The Very Beginning, Language, hickies, bite marks, oral (both receiving), bondage, Nudity, Nipple Play and Sucking, Boob Groping, (Pussy) Fingering, Vaginal Penetration, And Ass Grabbing)

The first time Chrollo met you, he was inside the bar, as he noticed you were getting into an argument with another man, then he heard you mentioned to the other man of having a talk outside, so Chrollo decided to follow, because he knew things would not end well, if he didn't, which he was right, as he overheard you telling the other man the relationship was over and unfortunately the other man didn't want to accept you breaking up with him, as the other man was about to hit you before Chrollo stepped in to grab his right wrist as he exclaimed, "That's enough! She said she wanted to break it off with you! What's your problem?! Can't you just accept that! You seem to have too much, to drink! Leave the lady alone! If you have to go this far by trying to hit her, I think maybe you need to think about what you did!". After he let go of the man's right wrist, instead of making another attempt of hitting you again or trying to hit Chrollo (like the man is thinking about doing), the man decided to run away back to his home. Chrollo then looked at you to ask, "Are you alright, miss?", before you replied, "Thanks to you, I'm okay... Sorry you had to go through the trouble... (Man's name) and I go through this often and I didn't think that it would happen tonight... I hope you can forgive me for putting you into this, sir...".

"Forgive you? For this? There's nothing to forgive on your end... I just wanted to makesure that you're safe... To my knowledge, you didn't do anything wrong... A horrible argument happens... You see, if you tried breaking up with someone who seems to think he has power over you and he thinks he's untouchable to the point he gets away with something I prevented in time, just because he can't accept that it's over, then it's not your fault! It's on him!", Chrollo responded. "My name's, Chrollo Lucilfer...", he introduced himself, before asking, "By the way., what's your name?". You answered,"My name is (Female Reader Name), Chrollo, sir...".

Both you and Chrollo had a conversation together for a few minutes, before he decided to take you with him on his journey with the Phantom Troupe. Despite of the fact the both of you barely knew eachother, you both decided to be in a relationship together, since he's going makesure you travel with him (and the rest of the Phantom Troupe, ofcourse). A few years of your relationship went by, he decided he really wanted to do something really special with you and for you, so he decided to get some materials required and get the room he shares with you all set up for his plans to make a particular night with you very special.

One night, while you're relaxing in the bathtub, Chrollo decides to decorate the room he shares with you, as he wants to really make your night special. While both you and Chrollo had sex before, however he really was holding back some of the things he really wanted to do with you, as he picked a particular night out, to really make a mess out of you on your special night, because he knows that this is what you want him to do with you deep down. He even found something to use to tie your wrists together to substitute for the rope, which was a particular type of scarf, considering he enjoys bondage and you're not comfortable with the feeling of the rope around your wrists for personal reasons that happened before you met him, so he doesn't mind compromising a little bit. Luckily he finished decorating the bedroom, before you got done taking a bath, as you went inside the room with a towel wrapped around your body to noticed, he was decorating.

You accidentally dropped your towel, as you became thrilled that he would go through the effort to decorating the room he shares with you, as you thanked him, while expressing your surprise about decorating the room. You then asked, "So, what's the occasion, Chrollo?". He then replied, "Well, since it has been a few years since we started our relationship together and I really wanted to make your night special, (Female Reader Name)...", as you noticed he's holding the scarf, so you're catching on to he's up to finally going to pleasure you in ways that are beyond your imagination. As he started taking his clothes off, he asked, "Before I have you lay on the bed and tie something around your wrists together, is there anything you want to do with me at all, my dark princess?", before he became completely bare naked, for your eyes to see, as he then cooed, "You only have five minutes, dear...".

You instantly knew what you wanted just from seeing Chrollo's fully, naked body, so you went up to him, got on your knees, proceeding to start sucking on his aching cock. A couple minutes went by, you decided to deep throat his cock, as he became really impressed that you were capable of deep throating his cock, the way you are. He groaned, "Fuck, (Female Reader Name)! You're doing such a great job with the deep throating! I'm very impressed that you would try to have my dick deep in your throat like this!". Three more minutes later, he would then pet your head to get your attention, as he then growled, "Times up, (Female Reader Name)! You know what to do now!", hinting for you to get on the bed.

Once you laid down on the bed, you let him hold your wrists together until he wrap part of the scarf around them, before letting go to be able to tie the scarf, making sure to keep both of your wrists together. He was eyeing your naked body, as he then grope your tits, as he's letting you know he wants to give them attention first. He played with your nipples, occasionally roughly, pulling and pinching them, as he's trying not to be too predictable with nipple play.

Once Chrollo finished playing with your nipples, he would hold your breasts, as we would put atleast a few hickies on both of your boobs, then suck on your left nipple. The longer he would suck on your left nipple, the rougher he will get on your left nipple, knowing you're trying to keep quiet, trying to not moan. When he got done sucking on your left nipple, he slowly moved his right hand off your left tit, as he taunted, "C'mon, my dark princess! There's no need to keep quiet on me, now! I want to hear that pretty voice, especially when your pretty voice calls my name! I want to hear that I'm doing a good job, making your night very special! I meant, if you want to keep quiet then fine! The only thing is that, if you want to try to keep quiet, then I have ways to make you talk and make you whimper for me, my pretty crow!", before you felt two of his fingers inside of your pussy hole, as he proceeded to suck on your right nipple.

Chrollo has been sucking on your right nipple, more roughly than he was on your left nipple and has been fingering you in very unpredictable and different ways where you weren't sure, if you're more focused on the ways he was fingering you or that he's sucking your right nipple harder than he was with your left nipple or both. Either way you couldn't help that you were groaning from the feeling of his fingers deep inside of your freshly wet hole and how he got carried away with being rough with your right nipple. He gently bites your right nipple, before he stopped sucking what your right nipple is now the freshly sore nipple, as he slowly takes both his fingers out of your hole.

As Chrollo shows you two of his fingers on his right hand, covered in your pussy juices, he would move his left hand to touch your faces, then grined, as he hissed, "I'm glad you're making a sound for me, it's just that I would like for you to use your words and where I can hear you call my name and hear what you want! Time to go low, (Female Reader Name)!", as he kissed your forehead, suck on one if the sides of your neck, leaving a hickey your neck, moving himself to the lower part of your body, greedily looking at your thighs and your wet pussy. He then started to put suck on your inner thighs to put hickies on them, then bite on your thighs to leave bite marks on your inner thighs, proceeding to lick your pussy. He even madesure to use both of his hands, to keep your legs opened, while he looked like he's about to chow down on your clit.

Chrollo has been licking your pussy, like it's ice cream, then will occasionally lick the pearl of you pussy much faster than that. The longer he was eating your pussy, the faster he will lick on your pussy to begin sucking on your pussy, while licking your whole pussy fast as he can to the point where you would moan, "Chrollo! I can't take it anymore... Please fuck me... I'm begging you... I need you... I need you inside of me, Chrollo!", before he stopped eating your pussy, then respond, "That's my good, beautiful... That's all I wanted and needed to hear... Be ready, my angel of darkness, because my missions, as the leader of the Phantom Troupe isn't the only way I wreak havoc!". He would move himself back up to your upper body, as you felt him moving his cock inside of your hole, before you wrapped your legs around him, as he started fucking you.

For the first couple of minutes Chrollo was gentle with fucking your pussy, then after those couple minutes passed by he decided to go faster, rougher, and deeper inside you, as he is about to wreak havoc inside your pussy whole. The longer he was fucking you, the more cock drunk you got to the point your whimpers continue to get louder, as the only thing you could focus on was the feeling of his dick mercilessly pounding your pussy. Chrollo could sense how cock drunk you have gotten where he would take advantage by being able to move your legs anywhere into any position, as he pleases while you're still laying on your back, so he can be extra unpredictable for you, your cock drunken mind, and your freshly sore pussy.

Once Chrollo stops moving your legs around to, as he then decided to use his right hand to hold both of your legs straight up to his chest and using his left hand to grab the right side of your ass cheeks, while he continued to ram himself as deep as he can (with his dick) inside of your pussy hole, even after he became pussy drunk. He was fucking you for so long, so rough, and so unpredictably to the point your loudest whimpers and his moans filled the room. A few more minutes went by he reached his climax, as he stopped fucking you, still keeping his dick deep inside of your pussy until he finished emptying is cum inside of you.

After Chrollo finished emptying himself, he finally took his cock outside of your swollen hole, unties the scarf to set both of your wrists free, and laid down next to you to only have lay on top of him, as he started to pet your head (and low-key playing with your hair). The both of you then locked into eachother's eyes, as he asked, "So, did you enjoy what we were doing, my darling?", before you answered, "Ofcourse I did, my Lucil... You're full of surprises and what we did earlier was definitely a different kind of surprise... I always enjoy our sex time together and our time together in general... And tonight I can see what you meant by wanting to make my night special... Although your company has always made feel special, Chrollo.", as you then continued, "I love you, Chrollo... I'm so glad to have you in my life...". Chrollo touched your face and replied, "I love you too, my sweet spider... I'm also glad to have you in my life, (Female Reader Name)". The last thing both you and Chrollo did before falling asleep, was kiss eachother very passionately, while he's started to hold you in his arms.

🕷️🕯️The End🕯️🕷️

I honestly had fun writing this fanfic about Chrollo😁👍There's a reason why I have written the beginning of the fanfic like I did for those curious about that part... I really wanted to be a little creative about how the reader and Chrollo met eachother in this fanfic I have written, which I figured why not have a different way on how to write the first time of a character meeting the reader🤔Since this is my 2nd time writing a fanfic pertaining any Hunter x Hunter character and my first time writing about Chrollo, I'm really am considering writing more fanfics about Chrollo😈Okay Tumblr Peeps, if you have ideas on which character you would like me to write about, fanfic requests (in a kind way) are opened and are encouraged, just incase you're curious😇Anyways I still hope you enjoyed this Chrollo fanfic I have written, my Tumblr Peeps🕯️🕷️😁👍

[ironworked]

60 Sec Rec: Resident Alien

"An alien on a mission to kill all humans crashes on Earth and hides in a remote mountain town. After assuming the identity of the town doctor, Harry Vanderspeigle, he's roped into solving a murder and realizes he needs to assimilate into his new world" [adapted from Rotten Tomatoes]

This show is hilarious. A lot of it does hinge on Alan Tudyk's charm so ymmv of course, but he, along with the rest of the cast, just lend themselves to the story with zero self-consciousness and a lot of joy. They have fun with their characters and the show is a delight to watch as a result.

The high points for me are firstly, the relationships, because they show different versions of 'family' and friendships where the people involved actually like and respect each other! (which shouldn't be rare but it somehow is). Secondly, its female characters; the guys are great too, but most shows have a male to female ratio of about 5:1 and the women are way too often afterthoughts to the male character's storylines. Not here, though: Out of the 18 actors with eps in the double digits, only 7 are men (Harry is the main character, but the others don't get sidelined). They're all different, they look different. And they're all awesome.

Created by Chris Sheridan (Family Guy). Written by Sheridan, Emily Slami and Jeffrey Nieves (Wolf Pack), Sarah Beckett (61st Street), Tommy Pico (Reservation Dogs)... Directed by Robert Duncan McNeil (Chuck, a bit of everything), Shannon Kohli (The Magicians), Kabi Akhtar (Never Have I Ever)... Starring Alan Tudyk, Sara Tomko, Corey Reynolds, Alice Wetterlund, Levi Fiehler, Elizabeth Bowen, Meredith Garretson, Gary Farmer, Kaylayla Raine, Diana Bang, Jenna Lamia...

(Judy, I love you)

60 sec rec: Deadloch - Dead Boy Detectives - The Tick - This Close - Kung Fu - Nancy Drew - Kevin Can Fuck Himself - Silo - The Flight Attendant - Severance - Hacks - Hit The Floor - Black Sails - 12 Monkeys - T@gged - The Diplomat - The Mick - Timeless - UnReal - Kings - All Rise - Barry - Halt and Catch Fire

New shows: Brilliant Minds

[vemaro]

under these circumstances

[PART 1]

Link to PART 2!

Summary : Astarion got roped in by the tieflings to come and see their former leader. And by roped in, Karlach literally dragged him up from the Underdark. Against his will. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see Tav. Of course he wants to see her. He wishes she never left his sight. Astarion just has absolutely no desire to see the woman he’s madly in love with living a lavish life with someone else.

Pairing: Astarion x Tav (female Tav) // also minor Karlach x Dammon

Word Count: ~ 1120

Notes: I was going to write out a whole spiel to give context, but I’m suddenly feeling lazy. Fair warning, this is a super elaborate, highly specific AU I came up with a week ago. It’s been a brainworm (hah) in my head ever since. It’s canon-divergent, at least when it pertains to the romance with Astarion. But also Karlach’s heart. They pull a deus ex machina and she doesn’t have to stay in Avernus because reasons. Tav needs their Mama K.

My Tav’s name is Robyn, but I switched it to Tav when posting. I don’t go too much into detail about appearance so feel free to imagine your own character in her place. Though, I mention she a druid a few times, and she has heterochromia. Apologies if this is makes absolutely no sense. I haven’t written anything in a long time. And this is my first time posting here. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. I’m dying to talk to someone about this.

Also, I do have a second part I plan to post in the next couple of days.

Enjoy (:

…

Tav starts backing out of the room. “Wait right here. I’ll fetch Callum. He’ll be thrilled to see you.”

As soon as her back is turned, she sighs. Thank the gods that Terrick has gone on another of his business trips. While her husband and old travel companions are civil (mostly), there is a stifling tension in the air whenever a friend pops in and Terrick is home. On one hand, Tav’s the same person she’s always been; the optimistic, fun loving druid who became the defacto leader of their merry band of misfits. Now though, she’s part of the highly respected Solariz clan, a noble family who holds a large influence within Baldur’s Gate. And a Solariz must act as such. She must mind her manners, dress in a way that befits her status, and worst of all, not go gallivanting up and down the Sword Coast looking for adventure. At least whenever Terrick isn’t around, she can let loose a little. Thankfully, her husband isn’t around too often.

Instead of walking straight through her son’s open bedroom door, Tav stops just outside and leans on the wall. She’s fighting back laughter because her day’s been made, but her son's month is about to get better. Tav loudly clears her throat and holds her hand up to project. “Oh, Callum,” she says in a sing-song voice. “Guess who’s here to see you.”

There’s a gasp from inside the room, followed by a thump, then followed by the sound of socked feet racing towards the door. The little boy spots his mother hiding behind the wall immediately and starts hopping up and down. “Who, Mama? Who’s here?”

She uses her mismatched eyes to point down the hallway. “Go look in the kitchen. They’re waiting for you.”

“Okay!” And he’s off.

Tav lets out a soft laugh. She loves that boy more than she’s loved anyone before, blood relations be damned. Finding him was the single greatest adventure of her life and she’s never, not once regretted taking him in, especially with moments like this, when he’s so happy. When they’re both so happy. Tav had no idea a part of her found family was missing until coming across Callum.

Speaking of found family …

“Karlach!”

When Tav reenters the kitchen, her red tiefling companion is kneeling down with her arms thrown out, sporting the biggest grin from pointy ear to pointy ear. “There’s my favorite little soldier!” Callum races towards her, throwing open his own arms as he jumps. Karlach pretends to almost fall over when she catches him. “Oh my gods, kiddo. Have you gotten bigger since I last saw you?”

Callum buries his face in her neck, soaking up as much of the barbarian's warmth as he can. “I missed you!” he exclaims into her shirt collar.

Karlach swings side to side, squeezing him tighter (but not too tight). “I missed you too, Callum. Been taking care of your mum, yeah?”

He pulls away and nods vehemently, making his blue curls bounce with the movement. “Yeah! I protect Mama from the scary monsters!”

Karlach ruffles his hair. “Good job, Callum.”

The second visitor slides in behind his partner. “On the subject of protection, I’ve got a little something for you.”

“Hi, Dammon! I missed you!”

Dammon, too, ruffles Callum’s blue locks. “Missed you too, kid.” The blacksmith reaches into his satchel and pulls out something wrapped in a cloth. Callum automatically leans forward out of curiosity, letting go of Karlach altogether. “Maybe you could use this to fend off those scary monsters.”

“What is it?” he asks.

Dammon removes the the cloth and crouches down to the Callum’s level. “Why, a sword, of course.” Karlach and Tav give a chorus of oohs and ahs. “The perfect weapon for a warrior of your esteemed caliber.”

Callum flaps his hands, jumping up and down, excitement radiating off him in waves. “A real sword?” he shouts. “For me?”

“If your mum will allow it.”

Callum whirls around, clasping his hands close to his cheek and brown eyes wide, a lethal combination meant to weaken the heart of their target. “Mama! Can I? Can I have the sword? Please?”

It doesn’t take a trained eye to know the weapon is fake. It’s made of wood and the blade is painted silver. The hilt’s adorned with dyed twine and a few faux gems for embellishment. To a small child, this is as real as it gets. Tav walks over and cards her fingers through his already messy hair, a scrutinizing pout adorning her face. “I don’t know,” she sighs. “Swords are very dangerous.”

Four year olds are not above begging. “Please, Mama! Puh-lease! ”

It’s fake, of course she’s planning to let him keep the gift. Tav still acts as if she’s thinking it over. “I suppose,” she says, dragging out the words. “As long as you say thank you to Dammon for making it.”

Callum whoops. “Yay!” Then he faces the tieflings again. “Thank you, Dammon!”

Dammon looks up to Tav and winks. She winks back. The hyperactive child quickly recaptures their attention by bouncing yet again. “Alright then.” Dammon then gets down on one knee and bows his head while holding out the wooden sword. “It was my deepest honor and pleasure, Sir Callum.”

Oh, Callum is eating this up. The newly minted knight looks back at his mother one more time, making sure he still has permission. A quick, encouraging nod from Tav lets him know he’s good to go. Callum gingerly reaches for the sword and takes it into his hands. “Wow …” he whispers.

“What do you think of the sword, soldier?” Karlach asks.

Words cannot properly express what Callum is thinking. He’s barely four years old after all. So Callum takes the sword by the hilt and holds it high above his head, shouting, “I have a sword!”

“Yes, you do,” Dammon agrees.

Karlach jumps back into her feet. “Hey! Let’s say you and I have a spar in the courtyard later, yeah?”

“Yeah!” With that, Callum starts showing off his swordsman skills, slashing and jabbing in a way only a child could. He even provides the sound effects. Tab, Karlach, and Dammon laugh along at his antics.

A scoff from the third and final visitor has everyone looking in his direction. “Wyll had better watch out,” croons a familiar voice. Tav digs her finger nails into her palms. “Our little bird here may be coming for his title as the Blade of Frontiers.”

If they thought the boy was excited at the previous company, they are immediately proven wrong. Callum’s smile shines so big and so bright, the sun may turn green with envy. It’s almost too bright for the pale elf. “Asty!” he cries.

“Hello, dear.”

Thanks for reading!!!

[aheckinmess]

Cuddling 101: The Intricacies of Intimacy [Enji] (Angst)

[One-Shot 15/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Enji x OC, Endeavor x OC, Enji Todoroki, Endeavor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Original Female Character(s), Ichijiku Aoki, Ice Quirk, Teaching Fire Boy to Cuddle, Married for a Few Months, OC is an Emotional Bean, Enji is a Softie, And Nobody Can Convince Me Otherwise, And They've TRIED

Word Count: 1,963 words

Summary: Only a few months into their marriage, Ichijiku and Enji still have to learn to navigate each others’ unique love language. It results in a conversation about the worries each of them have.

Author's Note: In this prompt, Ichijiku has an ice quirk for the sake of this prompt.

Ichijiku (Tigress)

Morning light filters through a crack in the blackout curtains, nudging my eyelids open and reminding me of a beautiful sight: Enji Todoroki in bed beside me. When Enji's in bed, the worries of the day no longer crease his forehead or draw a scowl on his face. He is Enji...my Enji most fully in the morning.

For these scarce moments in time - in which I wake up before him - I allow myself a rare treat and carefully squirm against his chest, pulling his arm around my back. Cuddles do not come naturally to Enji as emotions disturb him about as much as a high-class villain. 

I'm sure if I asked him he'd say emotions are villains.

Still, on lazy mornings such as this, I tuck myself into his cozy presence and pretend he’s cuddling on purpose. It certainly helps that his fingers rub over my back, tracing soft patterns into my skin. An added bonus? The way his fingers gently tug through my hair.

Wait.

I carefully open my eyes to find the sea and sky looking back at me.

"Good morning," He greets, kissing my forehead before he clambers out of bed. 

And the tender moment flutters through my fingers like smoke. I even sit up and stretch my hand out, grasping for it, grasping for him. When the bathroom door closes, I figure I'll see if I can rope him into a morning cuddle when he gets out.

In the meantime, I fix the sheets up a bit so it'll look neat. I fix my pajamas and ruffle my hair a bit in the hopes that making it look messy will entice him to me. By the time the bathroom door opens again, I'm laying on my elbows with a pair of kitten eyes and reaching out to him.

"Come back?" I chirp softly.

"What do you need, Frosty Queen?" He chuckles, padding over to the bed and sitting at the edge.

I scoot up and hug his arm, leaning into his warmth and soaking it up like a plant photosynthesizing from the sun. It lasts for a few seconds before he nudges me with his arm.

"You needed something?" He repeats, confused.

"Yeah. Cuddles." I look up at him, resting my chin on his arm. "Just for a little bit?" 

Silence permeates the room and he looks at the doorway.

"Can we eat breakfast first?" He asks just as a rumble sounds from his stomach. "I've never been great at the whole cuddling thing...and I'm hungry."

"Oh, um, yeah, sorry. I can make you some food." I quickly retreat, hopping out of bed and looking at my feet as I make my way down the hall. 

"Hey," Enji catches my hand before I get too far and spins me against his front. He presses his lips to my forehead and then his eyes meet mine. "That wasn't meant as a denial. I really will try out the whole...cuddling thing." He doesn't sound happy about it, but I'm glad he clarifies that he's willing to try. "I just don't want to be hungry and end up ruining it. I know it's important to you."

"Physical touch is my love language." I explain.

"So you’ve said before," Enji yawns as he spontaneously carries me to the kitchen. I've always been self-conscious about my weight, but his strong muscles holding me up acts as a balm for this particular insecurity. "But we're intimate regularly. I often sit by you and give you kisses throughout the day. Doesn't that satisfy your need for physical touch?"

"It does." I admit, closing my eyes and leaning against him until he sets me down onto the cool tile. "But I have different types of physical touch I want to have met. And sometimes, different touches can mean different things."

"Like what?" 

I file through the cabinets for breakfast ingredients as I contemplate how to explain. The fact that he ranks my emotional needs high enough to try something out of his comfort zone makes my heart grow fonder of him.

"It's like...cuddles are a different level of intimacy. Sex makes me feel loved, vulnerable, and physically attractive. Kisses make me feel protected and valued. But cuddles make me feel like I'm worth the effort." I shrug, humming as I work my way around the stove.

Enji quiets for a few moments with a hum, before his hands skirt around my waist from behind. The weight of his head on my shoulder relaxes me.

"What about this?" He asks.

"This feels similar to cuddles." I smile. "It makes me feel like you think I'm your one and only."

"You are my one and only. Don't you know that?" 

Several quiet minutes go by. I flip the fish in the frying pan and stir the soup. I glance at the rice cooker to find only a few minutes left. 

"Breakfast shouldn’t take too much longer."

"Ichan," He turns me around and puts a hand under my chin. It’s not often those cold, blue eyes look so soft and warm. "You do know you're my one and only, don't you?"

Once again, I’m quiet. When his hold tightens, he squeezes out a flood of tears in his wake.

“I guess…” I shrug out of his hold and grab plates and bowls to set up breakfast.

“You guess?” Even though he lets me go, he follows my every move. I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders as he pulls my hair out of my shirt and combs his fingers gently through the tangles. “Surely you’re more certain than just a guess? Why would you believe otherwise?”

An answer has to wait as I plate fish, miso, and then finish off with a bit of rice. I pull out some cups and splash some orange juice in both.

“You arranged for a quirk marriage because you wanted to make the perfect child to surpass All Might,” I begin bluntly. “You’ve been very good to me, I won’t pretend you haven’t. You pay for everything to keep us fed and splurge on me for my hobbies…you’ve even surprised me with flowers before and I’m forever in your debt for paying off what was left of my student loans.” I don’t look at him. I can’t. “But…I don’t know how to explain it well. I’m appreciative of all that, please don’t think I’m not. It’s just, I thrive off of physical touch and emotional warmth. Whenever you come home and I ask about work, you just shrug it off and say it’s fine. When I try to cuddle you in the mornings or before bed, it’s reduced to a quickie or you leave for the bathroom and I’m left alone. I just want…” I pause.

What do I want? Enji does all the right things. Does that mean I’m selfish for asking for more?

“I don’t want to lose you.” I choke out, not realizing I’ve said it until Enji tilts my chin up. Those blue eyes capture me with their concern. I force my eyes away. “I’m scared that once we start having babies you’ll forget all about me. I don’t want to be a means to an end for your heroic ambitions, Enchan. I want to feel like you love me because I’m me. Not because of what I can give you. I want you to feel like you can be vulnerable and let me carry whatever troubles you. I know you think you’re supposed to protect me, keep me safe, but I want to be able to carry your burden every now and then so you can rest when you need it.”

 Large fingers pad away the liquid in the corners of my eyes. When I finally look back at him, he rests his forehead against mine. There’s no escape. Everything about him draws me in and acts as a salve to my woes even though he hasn’t spoken.

“Ichan,” He says. “I…” He inhales and stops, closing his mouth and sighing through his nose. His mouth opens and closes, then repeats the motion until his head slumps against my shoulder. “I wish I had something better to say, but all I can say is I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way. I have no excuses.”

My fingers indulge in the coarse depths of his fiery hair. This…this is the kind of intimacy I want. To know every precious little thing about you. For a few moments, the world around us keeps moving, but we’re caught in time with each other.

Both of us against a raging world.

“When I first asked you about the quirk marriage, it was originally just for your quirk.” His fingers paint sweet pictures across my shoulders. With every stroke, my muscles melt under his touch. “Of course, the more I met up with you after your agreement, I hadn’t expected to enjoy your company so much. You’re so vibrant and passionate about the things you love, it’s intoxicating.” The familiar feeling of his lips on my neck pulls a gasp from my throat. “Your enthusiasm for life reminds me of why I became a pro.”

After some doting kisses, he lifts his head and cups my face. 

“I’m sorry that I haven’t said it, but you’ve changed so much in my life for the better. When a villain attack delayed you at the grocery store last week? I was at my wit’s end. I wondered what I’d do if you didn’t come home. Surpassing All Might was forgotten because all I could think about was how much I’d miss seeing you, how much I’d miss waking up beside you, how much your presence brings this house to life.” Sorrow glistens in his eyes as he presses a soft, brief kiss on my lips. “Ichijiku Todoroki, even if my intentions were initially selfish…you changed my life for the better when you became a part of it. Never doubt that.”

Sincerity hangs from his every word, draping me in comfort and affection that soothes the worry buzzing in the background of my head these past couple months following our wedding.

I lead him back over to the table before breakfast gets cold while I process these deeper emotions. We eat in a more comfortable silence. When he takes my empty dishes over to the sink and sweeps me up in his arms, I squeal and hold on tight.

He steps over to the couch and lays down, getting comfy against the pillows before he holds me firm against his chest. As my head nestles into the crook of his neck, tension oozes out of my body and a smile sneaks onto my face. Just like earlier, his fingers trace patterns along my back. Unlike earlier, he smatters kisses all over the side of my face. I giggle as they tickle my cheek like little butterfly wings. He rumbles out a chuckle as I squirm and wrap my legs around his waist, before I feel his lips twitch and his fingers wriggle against my sides.

“Enji!” I shriek, cackling as I move away from him and he pulls me back to smother my other cheek in kisses. “You could have just asked me to turn!”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” 

With a huff, I try tickling his sides in retribution. Nothing. I try his neck. Still nothing. He smirks up at me until my fingers assault his stomach and then he twitches with a snort.

“Not there!” He laughs, pulling me under him while hovering over me. 

He rests his forehead against mine with a small smile, something so rare that it warms me down to the tips of my toes.

“Enji?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my queen.”

Want More Enji? Try: A Girl Worth Fighting For

[whinlatter]

author's note | chapter four: habitat 🍂🐾

here is the author's note for chapter four of Beasts! this chapter sees gin return to the skies and starts to explore flight and fear (and asks some tricky questions about the soul). come to watch an author who can neither throw nor catch a ball try and write about sports; stay for the henry viii cameo & the girls getting their arts and crafts on. ok all the usual writing notes, headcanons, fic/meta inspo recs are below…

….as is a ✨ sneak peek ✨ of chapter five (did someone say hinny seaside fluff?) 🐚🎣🌊

 🏹 spoilers for this chapter under the cut! 🏹

[ habitat, n.: the natural environment in which an animal or plant usually lives ]

writing notes and headcanons: 

on writing: this chapter was the toughest yet to write honestly - still feel i'm learning the ropes about pacing, foreshadowing and suggesting, and how to balance flashbacks with driving plot forward in the present. i've made my peace with how it turned out and was excited to put it out after a lot of revision, but damn did you know writing was hard who else knew this and didn't tell me hmmm! also i'm a fair weather writer and a chipper lil bean why am i writing all this sad shit. questions without answers

on quidditch: ah man i honestly love writing about quidditch (the metaphor potential!) re the muggleborns in quidditch issue - i know in PS/SS there’s talk of the first-years having multiple flying lessons, but it always seemed wild to me how obviously at a disadvantage muggleborn students would be at with confidence and practice on a broom (like, no shade to the weasley boys, who are clearly a talented bunch, but they do get to spend the first eleven years of their lives and every summer after that playing and practicing in their orchard - like, justice for dean thomas making it to be a reserve, honestly!) ginny is her father’s daughter, so reckon this is bit of a social justice issue for her, but in a sort of i-want-the-best-and-i’ll-find-it way (i also think she knows from playing on a team with ron that underconfidence doesn’t mean a lack of talent). much more to come on rina!

on souls: one of the things i had the most fun with in this chapter was the soul chat scene - a tricky topic for a teacher to broach, even under normal circumstances, but especially for this bunch of war-hardened teens, some of whom (ginny and hermione, but also all the azkaban survivors) have far too much first-hand experience with soul magic of the darkest kind. i’ve learnt so much from some truly fantastic metas and analyses of souls in hp (some shared below) and have always wanted to think and write about the soul-as-both-personality-and-conscience tension that runs throughout canon - in harry’s narration, other than in passing in conversation with dumbledore over horcruxes, we don’t get a ton of exploration of what a soul actually is. i intended to do it as a meta but honestly i’m having so much fun trying to weave these ideas and speculation into this fic, as well as use questions of souls and what makes you, you, as ginny herself goes through this unwanted process of self-examination and reflection as she’s knocked off course with her own sense of self 

on molly and ginny’s letters and their relationship: a lot of what i want to use Beasts to explore are the relationships between different female characters, including mothers and daughters. a criticism often made of molly from her critics is often that she doesn’t really write to harry or any of her children when they’re at school. to that i say: here are all my headcanons defending molly weasley til the death!  in canon, i think ron’s lingering jealousy of molly’s attachment to ginny and fears that she favours ginny (‘least loved always, by the mother who craved a daughter…’), and ginny’s constant conflict with molly over her coddling risks means we don’t always get to see a positive read on ginny and molly’s relationship. we also know, though, that ginny and molly both enter and end the series beside one another, and we saw molly become a killer to defend ginny from bellatrix. this is such an important relationship and i'm so excited to write about it in this piece. i just love the idea that ginny and molly are extremely close over the years, actually, despite their conflict, and that they were in regular contact throughout the school year in ways the boys just would never have been, making each other feel less lonely in their more solitary years. 

on ginny and hermione: relevant to the above and honestly a bit of a soapbox issue/manifesto for this whole fic - it's really important to me to try to find a way to write friendship and conflict between two characters (especially female characters, and particularly female characters who have historically been at the centre of fandom shipping wars), while doing justice to both characters’ perspectives and not bashing either of them. i love both hermione and ginny as characters. i’m very interested in their friendship and both characters’ flaws and failings, and so getting to write this post-war year with both of them back at hogwarts, spending the most time together they ever have but also such different wartime experiences and perspectives is just *chef’s kiss*. we know their friendship is strong - hermione and ginny do appear in canon as people who have fun together and serve as each other’s confidants on key issues. but they’re also two strong-willed characters who canonically do fall out and must, by virtue of their characterisations, have certain faultlines running through their friendship. obvs they famously have that fantastic clash over harry and the sectumsempra curse in HBP that i’ve always been kind of obsessed with (ginny coming out swinging for harry, very strongly, rightly calling hermione out for being manipulative, but also immediately going mean in her response - the “oh, don't start acting as though you understand quidditch you'll only embarrass yourself” is, like, as iconic as it is devastating, lol) that scene remains a big jumping off point for thinking more broadly about their dynamic and relationship in this period of their lives. hermione can be tone-deaf and patronising sometimes, ginny can be angry, spiteful and childish - i want to write about that, and let both women be flawed and interesting and still worthy of respect and affection. (also i re-watched fleabag for this fic, because we're thinking about sisterhood here babyyy)

on parallels between harry and ginny as characters: writing this fic has just been me repeatedly finding 9000 more parallels between ginny and harry throughout the series i'd missed lol. this chapter i was thinking about how ginny is harry’s understudy in two quidditch finals (both of which she wins obvs), and again in the DA during DH (i know neville ends up as the only DA leader by the time of the battle of hogwarts, but i think we can tell from their canon characterisations and the deliberate parallel building between the golden and silver trios that ginny = harry, hermione = luna, and neville = ron. it’s also strongly implied in chapter 15 in DH through phineas nigellus’ testimony about the sword-stealing incident that it was ginny who was the DA ringleader and architect of that mission). now, here they are again, two captains, mirror images again. it’s just a throwaway line from angelina in this chapter (“you’re no harry” to ginny when she's trying out as seeker) but i’m having so much fun finding these parallels but trying to understand what that must have been like for ginny, to repeatedly be stepping into the shoes of the boy she loves and admires (soulmate shit, but also soul-searching shit, no?). even the way ginny is reacting to stuff in some of these scenes - hermione going to london and ginny doing her best not to sound openly jealous but failing - i was thinking about ron and the prefect badge all over again. ginny is not harry, crucially, and she has her own distinct characterisation and different responses, but they are enormously similar characters in ways i’m still learning about. (these guyyssssss honestly)

on seamus writing to ginny: have literally decided the seamus and ginny friendship arc from pebblysand’s the fault in faulty manufacturing is canon soooo that's what that is!

on the twins and ginny at muriel’s: firstly, i'm so sorry!!! secondly... i’ve had a version of that scene in my head for so so long and never knew how to use it. i briefly flirted with the idea of writing a fic about fred, george and ginny in hiding together with their parents at muriel’s and what those weeks were like for them, in what ended up being the last weeks of fred’s life. but honestly uh i cried writing that tiny vignette (and tbh welled up writing that last sentence jfc), so clearly i would not be able to get through writing that fic. their DH coins lighting up and the three of them being like woo we’re free from muriel’s we’re going to go fight let’s go? but it’s actually them going to fred’s death? i’m not ok!!!

on ginny’s card-making materials: canon compliant ginny weasley is an arts and crafts girlie. love u cute little loser girl! i see you with your sticky tape and gel pens! girls who make dumb crafts and inflict them on their friends representation!

reading list for chapter four: 

on ginny and flying: 

Little Sugar Men by DopeyTheDwarf @bluethepineapple

on ginny and hermione’s friendship:

I'll Be There by StarlingFlight

you were broken-hearted and the world was, too by celaenos

on souls:

The soul in the Harry Potter universe; a joint meta by @artemisia-black and @ashesandhackles

The Infinite Divide: A Study on Horcruxes and Souls in the Harry Potter Universe by @celestemagnoliathewriter

songs from the playlist particularly for this chapter:

for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti - sufjan stevens | morrison's jig by orthodox celts | dot the dragon's eye by hanneke cassel | featherweight by fleet foxes | soon-to-be innocent fun by arthur russell | troubled waters by cat power | fallen fruit by lorde

and a sneak peek of chapter five because we need harry and gin to hang out again don't we? we've kept them apart enough 🌊🐚🎣

Of course, they get fish and chips by the sea, their new little ritual. Both of them hang off the counter, a little giddy, pointing at the notices stuck up on the wall ('Should we look for that man's cat, do you reckon? 'Gin, that cat's been missing since June, it's extremely dead'). Harry’s appalled by how much vinegar she makes the man at the shop put on her chips, grumbling as they leave the shop with the goods wrapped in warm newspaper paper. ‘I have to kiss you after you eat those, you know –’ ‘Have to?’ They perch up on the beach wall while she does battle with a ketchup sachet. He's cracking open a can of a suspicious-looking Muggle fizzy drink made by a man claiming to call himself Dr Pepper. ‘What do you mean, have to? Real hardship, is it? Great burden?' 'Yep.' He takes the ketchup sachet off her, tears it open, hands it back. 'It's tough work, but someone's got to do it.' 'How about I find myself someone else on this beach who's not such a baby and doesn't mind kissing a girl after she's had a bit of vinegar -' (She gets an unvinegared chip to the head for that one. He does let her share the fizzy drink, though it transpires he knows shamefully little about the identity of this Dr Pepper character.)

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 36 Review - Gender Confirmation: The Episode

The odd jobs saga continues as Liko and Roy are tasked to help out one of Nidothing’s viewers with her problem. The viewer, Yunorin, wants to join the Tag Battle Tournament held in Pigton Town, but her Oinkologne isn’t too thrilled about partnering up with another Pokemon. What could be the issue? That’s why Nidothing dispatches Liko and Roy to help her out. It’s nice that the kids are the main focus of the episode without adults interfering this time around.

If I were to describe this episode, it’d be ‘Gender Confirmation: The Episode’ as there were so many gender reveals alongside showing off gender differences between the two Oinkolognes. Liko’s Sprigatito and a few other swine Pokemon were revealed to be female as they were affected by Renta’s male Oinkologne, Prince’s aroma. Since Quaxly and Fuecoco were not enamored, they are confirmed male. I think this is nice as viewers don’t have to continue speculating their gender and the staff doesn’t have to keep dragging it out.

Although Dot wasn’t present in the town, her Quaxly was and he was the star of the episode. I love his little dance. Since he’s male, it made me think of mating dances that some male birds often do to attract females. This fits him because Quaxly is an avian Pokemon and a very flamboyant one at that. I think the downside is that Quaxly and Dot weren’t together in this episode. It’s a shame because I wanted to see them bond. I get that she has to fulfill her role as Nidothing for Yuno’s issue.

Yuno, who’s Yunorin, is the character of the day and she’s really cute. I really like her personality a lot; she’s bubbly and energetic. She loves her female Oinkologne, Twirls (Kuru-chan), a lot too. I’m glad that Liko, who wants to be a Trainer who understands Pokemon’s feelings, gave solid advice to her, which lead her to asking Twirls to talk about her worries to her. Yuno cares so much about Twirls, that she’s willing to ask her childhood friend Renta to partner up with her because Twirls likes Prince. There are also hints that Yuno has feelings for Renta. I’m glad that Twirls managed to stand up to Prince’s arrogant attitude and attacked him when he sprayed mud on Quaxly.

For me, the romance subplot in Pokemon can be a bit hit or miss. What about this episode? Honestly, I think this is fine. Kids are kids, so they can either be honest or dishonest about their feelings. I do like that the issues with Yuno and her hinted crush on Renta are resolved without much intervention from third parties. Kids resolve their issues in their own ways; I liked that aspect. They don’t have to gain ten levels in maturity to resolve romantic issues. Emotions are a fickle thing, after all. While Renta was a bit of a jerk, I’m glad that it didn’t escalate into something worse and that he did come around and accept her in the end.

Poor Dot; she got roped into being cupid now. Overall, I really liked this episode in that it gave the kids a lot of spotlight. I’d love to see another episode where it’s just the kids doing things without the need of adult intervention. How about you? Would you like to see another episode similar to this where it’s just Liko, Roy and Dot helping people and Pokemon?

[darkthingshappen]

Hi there!

I don‘t know if my question was eaten by tumblr, so I decided to send it again or if you didn’t come to it yet (if that‘s the case feel free to ignore and don‘t feel pressured into answering pls🥺❤️)

It is Oc question time🥳

How does one usually end up as Volkovs Slave? (a.k.a. Bens position)? And for which character traits/body appearances does Volkov look for/ which spark his interest the most?

Was there someone who held out longer than Ben or who came close to him in any way? If yes, who was it and how?

This is a complicated question and I don't know if I have the answer. I'm ashamed to report that Tumblr didn't eat your question, I just didn't know how to answer it.

Volkov is a human trafficker who masquerades as a philanthropist. So he hides his cruelties well. The only people who know how cruel he truly is are the handful of minions he lets in close. And it's not a big group. He hires like minded people. If they're not like minded, then he ropes them in so they're essentially stuck with him and can't leave (Like Andrei). People don't cross him and live to tell the tale. But he learned a long time ago, you don't have to kill someone to destroy them. And he specializes in that.

Volkov likes being surprised. I think he fully intented to take Ben and do what he did, get bored and ship him off to a buyer. BUt Ben looks pretty when he's abused and I think Ben's faith and how he holds on to it intrigues him. He puts no stock in religion himself, but he likes to hollow people out and Ben has this otherworldly spark inside of him that he never fully quashes.

Ben is indeed one of his longer lasting captives. The longest? I honestly don't know. Volkov is driven by power and cruelty so he doesn't necessarily have a type. He'll take anyone that will let him play out his sick games. Male or female. He goes for guys more often because their bigger stature and strength means they're more likely to survive the abuse longer. BUt he's take women when it serves him or is convenient. You can bet that when he goes off on his business trips and leaves Ben alone, he's not actually alone. He's garanteed companionship on his trips by a network of people he does business with. None of these people chose it or enjoy their time with him. But they're also not going to say anything because that's the nature of human trafficking. Who's going to listen to them, and who's going to believe them?

Until Jake supplied his phone and all the evidence from it that the FBI was able to gather, there was never any proof that Volkov was directly involved with anything. The FBI only thought he might have been a money man. The Russians certainly weren't going to look into it. Their's has been a system run on corruption and bribery for years. And the sad thing is, Volkov isn't the only person out there like this. There are countless people just like him.

Where ever money is, traffickers are not far away. It also seems to go hand in hand with drugs and prostitution. Jake would NEVER have been involved in human trafficking. He finds it abhorrent, but drugs didn't seem like that big of a deal to him. Infact, when he initially took the deal, he didn't realize how much he was getting into. And by the time he did the cops were raiding and it was too late and too big to get out of.

That's a really long post to sort of not answer your question...

[lollybunxiv]

♡ LFRP - LOLLY MELODYS ♡

(my WoL carrd ♡)

Lolly was left abandoned as a baby deep in the woods of North Shroud. Luckily, Lolly was found shortly afterwards, with a note by her that read "I'm sorry I failed you", by a woman who had hoped for children but circumstances never made it so, she was taken in by this older miqo'te and raised as her daughter. Though Lolly considered this woman to be her real mother, she yearned to find out more about her past, and so she decided to become an adventurer and study the art of Summoning, hoping that during her travels in the outside world, she may come across any clues that will point her in the direction of who she is and what her background truly is.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

THE BASICS

Name: Lolly Melodys

Age: 26-27

Race: Viera

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bi/Ace

Marital Status: Dragonsong Reprise TL - With Haurchefant Main TL - Aymeric

Server: Aether/Cactuar

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Hair: pink long hair with white highlights

Eyes: golden

Height: 5'10"

Build: average

Distinguishing Marks: two markings on both of her cheeks

Common Accessories: always wears cute earrings~

PERSONAL

Profession: Summoner

Hobbies: Archery, baking, decorating.

Languages: common

Birthplace: North Shroud

Residence: The Lavender Beds

Religion: n/a

Fears: her friends and loved ones hurting, abandonment

RELATIONSHIPS

Spouse: not married but Dragonsong Reprise TL - With Haurchefant Main TL - Aymeric

Children: no

Parents: n/a

Siblings: she doesn't know of any

Pets: fat cat probably

TRAITS

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

HABITS

Smoking Habit: no

Drugs: no

Alcohol: on certain occasions

CHARACTER HOOKS

The Traveller: Lolly is well-known to travel, and very rarely is kept to one place. She meets many different people upon her travels throughout the realm, and is partial to talking to many different people in the places she visits, to learn more about the culture and history of different places in which she's never visited.

Birds of a Feather: Lolly very rarely meets other Viera, and she typically seems to be one of few in the many places she goes. It can lend to feeling out-of-place. If you're a Viera, she'd love to hear all about where you're from and your background.

A Fighter: Lolly is often roped into fighting alongside other adventurers who she doesn't know too well during her times in different places. Maybe she's roped into teaming up with you during one of her many battles?

Getting the Job Done: Other Summoners are a dime-a-dozen it seems, due to the old tradition that they often get led astray from fighting for "good". If you're a summoner, she'll be very interested in getting to know more about you.

Baby It's Cold Outside: Lolly, no matter the timeline, has her ties to Ishgard one way or another. If you're traveling through Ishgard, or are someone from Ishgard yourself, you'll likely cross paths with her.

OUT OF CHARACTER

I'm located in the North-East US.

Prefer to RP through Discord and not really in-game, due to being able to flesh out more details through Discord. Though, I am open to sometimes taking it to in-game.

I'm good if you want to include NSFW, but Lolly is ace, and therefore sexual situations with Lolly is off the table. However, if you want to include it for yourself and another character, maybe an NPC or something, I am fine with that, so long as you don't expect to include my WoL. But reading anything you want to include like that does not bother me.

I would like to write in one main timeline, but I'm good if the timeline is an AU like Dragonsong Reprise or such. I'm okay with steering away from canon slightly, but to base it more in the game, would like to keep it generally to the storyline.

Open to multiple RPs going with multiple RP partners!~

IMPORTANT: I am currently on the beginning of Shadowbringers right now in FFXIV. Have not reached Endwalker YET

[mintharaestermont]

♛ → THE STORMLANDS present MINTHARA ESTERMONT, the LADY of GREENSTONE. when the dragons danced in the sky they thought the GREENS would still fly, but in the blink of an eye, they would all die. the TWENTY-SIX year old FEMALE who was DRIVEN & TRUSTWORTHY before they saw the first of the flames, is now COMPETITIVE & ENVIOUS after seeing the last. they’re often associated with sunset rays reflected off the ocean, breathless laughter after dancing for too long, ripped up papers thrown on the fire so they can’t be read. ( alisha boe )

pinterest ✻ playlist ✻ character building ✻ timeline ✻ tasks ✻ wanted connections

tws: mentions of death

history.

minthara rhae estermont had both the great honour and the great burden of being born with many siblings. from a very young age, too long ago for her to remember, she developed a fierce competitive streak. Whatever her siblings were doing, she wanted to do as well, no matter if she was too small or too weak to fully participate. the best way to get minthara to do something is to tell her that she can't.

she was never the easiest sister. she loves her siblings fiercely, but is prone to needling at them, instigating scuffles and getting on their last nerve. minthara was a difficult child to grow up alongside, whilst also being staunchly protective, quick to take matters into her own hands when her brothers and sisters were upset. 

minthara has struggled with an inferiority complex her entire life - but most of it is entirely in her own head. she has always been very loved, and was especially close with her father, who absolutely doted on her, but she was always too short sighted to see it clearly. she is her own worst enemy who invents scenarios in her own head that absolutely are not true.

of all her siblings, minthara had the most contentious relationship with her twin sister, myrcella. simply because they were twins, they were compared to one another since birth, and minthara hated it. there was rarely a day when the two were not at each other’s throats, usually with minthara instigating. on the opposite end of the spectrum, she always felt closest to lucerys, despite how different they are to one another. to this day, there is nobody minthara loves or looks up to more than lucerys estermont.

it wasn’t until myrcella died that minthara realised what she had missed out on. she did not realise how much her twin was a half of her whole until she was no longer there. she spent most of her life resenting being part of a pair, but now she very much misses it. 

it was important to minthara’s father that all of his children were able to sail a ship, but minthara was never an exceptional sailor - merely passable. however, she is both a strong swimmer and incredibly agile, able to scale masts, climb ropes, and maintain balance fairly easily, so she is always able to help out. she does love being on the water, though, despite her lack of sailing aptitude. 

one thing minthara is actually very good at is writing - particularly poetry. she uses this to express herself, but is very secretive about it. she shares this with nobody, and will not put her name to anything she’s written, using the alias jon mint. 

minthara has always struggled with her place in the world, and how she can distinguish herself within it, and that has only grown since the death of her father and eldest brother. it is not a welcome change and one she is still struggling to adjust to. she’s a very unsure person who’s not quite sure where she stands or what her path in life is yet. 

as a result of the war between new valyria and dorne, minthara has been sent away from greenstone to live in king's landing, something she is very much against and feels bitter about. she doesn't feel at all comfortable in the city. despite being half-valyrian, minthara doesn't feel as though they accept her as such, and is growing more discontent by the day by the way stormlanders are being treated.

personality

basics

a lot of minthara’s personality is a direct contradiction. she’s feisty and confrontational, but also very sentimental and sappy. she can be an absolute spoiled brat, but she’s also very determined and hardworking. a lot of the dichotomy that exists within her comes from her not truly knowing who she is or where she fits in the world. 

she’s an incredibly emotional person in the most dramatic and theatrical of ways. everything she feels, she wears on her face and isn’t shy about expressing it. if minthara feels a type of way, you’ll know about it. 

she’s incredibly, stubbornly, unwaveringly loyal to the people she cares for. she rides hard for the people in her circle and clings on to them tightly. 

her competitive nature is perhaps her most dominant trait. unfortunately, she doesn’t compete in the things she’s actually good at. she wants to be good at the things YOU’RE good at so she can prove her worth. 

kind, but not nice, is a good way to describe minthara. if people she cares about are hurting, she will always lend a shoulder to cry on. she’s generous to a fault, and incredibly protective. however, she’s blunt, sharp, and can come across rude to those who don’t know her well. she believes in tough love, and is definitely the kind of person to tell you what you don’t want to hear, but it’s almost always coming from a good place. 

if she dislikes someone, it’s likely she’ll never change her mind, and she won’t be shy about picking fights.

she likes people to think she’s independent, but minthara actually very much struggles with being alone. she does not enjoy her own company.

minthara is not an intellectual at all. she’s always struggled when it comes to academic matters, hates maths, and doesn’t much care for history. in terms of scholarly matters, she certainly isn’t going to distinguish herself. she is, however, very creative when it comes to music and writing and has genuine talent there, even if she won’t let anybody see it.

while her bold exterior is always very obvious, and she is undoubtedly always very minthara, the way she acts with people very much reflects how they treat her. she's more impressionable than one would assume at first glance. 

minthara is a brash, brazen person without much of a filter. she'll say and do things she shouldn't, and doesn't think before she speaks.

rumours 

the contradictory nature of minthara’s personality means she’s a difficult person to fully know, and this has led to lots of misunderstandings about who she is. people who have only seen her rougher, more feisty side will regard her in a very different way to those who have seen her softer, more sensitive components. she can be difficult and sharp, but also generous to a fault and an incredibly steadfast friend. any rumours that exist about minthara are likely a result of these misunderstandings. 

she can be flirty, i think there's probably rumours about her promiscuity floating around. however, most of her flirting and lewdness is limited to words.

fears

minthara hugely struggles with the idea of being inferior to anybody. it’s part of the reason she’s so competitive - she wants to prove herself so badly.

her inferiority complex ties into her fear of insignificance. the root of this is likely due to growing up in a large family. she’s always fighting to prove her worth, and she’s not happy with just knowing it herself - she wants everyone else to see it, too. 

other

minthara is a very tactile person who expresses her affection through touch. she’s a big hugger, even if she isn’t particularly gentle. 

her eyes are very, very dark purple - at first glance, they appear black. you would only notice that they aren’t when very close to her or in direct sunlight. 

minthara has spent her entire life on a mission to be the best at something, but she’s actually very private and oddly embarrassed by the things she does find enjoyment in and has a genuine talent and passion for. she wants to be good at things that other people find impressive, without much regard for what she actually wants out of life. she has a real skill with poetry writing, and has even published work, but under a different name that can’t be tied back to her, because the thought of that is just so mortifying to her. 

she wears very simple clothing - think plain, one-colour gowns, usually in very light neutral colours or blue or green pastels if she’s feeling particularly flashy. however, she absolutely adores jewellery and uses this to dress her outfits up. 

if you asked her, she would tell you that she has processed her grief for her brother and father, but this is very much not the case, particularly for her father. She genuinely believes that she has, but she’s just stuffed it down too deep to be touched.

she’s not overly fond of her name being shortened. but her absolutely least favourite is minty. unfortunately for her, minty is the nickname that's stuck and most people know her as.

she should wear glasses - but minthara point blank refuses to do so in public. she gets by okay without them, but cannot read well when they aren’t on her face.

she has a pet parrot, an african grey named peppercorn. he is an absolute menace to society, love swearing at people, and pecking people and then laughing about it.  

minthara has a very complicated relationship with her heritage, as both a stormlander and a valyrian through her mother. for the most part, she feels more connected to her identity as a stormlander, as there are very few valyrians she gets along with in general. she knows most of them see her as a "lesser" sort of valyrian, and that activates her fear of inferiority, so it's hostile all around.

[cantsomeoneelsedoit]

Ch 1: Undead and Unluck

The first page of Undead Unluck is the end page of a different manga, Fuuko's favorite.

From Me to You is a real manga you can really read (though I haven't yet). The important thing is that Fuuko wishes her life were more like this shoujo manga, with a dramatic ending where the boy runs after the girl and they tell each other their true feelings, then kiss.

And if this opening page wasn't dramatic enough, the color spread is... a lot. (dont look) There is a lot of dumb fanservice in the beginning of this manga. Some of it is explainable; most of it just feel cheap. I'm going to try to do this blog without getting into it too much. Just know it exists and it will get better, I promise. Weekly Shonen Jump always tries to start out with a bang. It's a shame they went there. They will go there again.

There is probably a way to read the fanservice as a critique of fanservice, but it's a pretty thin argument, imo. Don't wanna get into it and will be ignoring it when I can.

ANYWAY, the beginning scene is the ol' "woman is at the end of her rope when a mysterious stranger arrives" plot device.

And that's how our main characters meet by chance. Or did they? Didn't the author bring them together on purpose?

Andy learns that Fuuko is a Negator, and his main thoughts are how he can use her to meet his own (literal) end. He has no regard for how she's feeling, and what looked like a gag gets uncomfortable. Fuuko is no longer threatening people with a knife; she is the one being threatened.

Meanwhile, Andy is flying around bleeding everywhere, his body both broken into parts and VERY WHOLE AND NATURAL. Andy is all id, has little regard for others, and is eager to use Fuuko to die. I think there are ways Tozuka could've showed this without Andy being such a creep, but here we are.

So we have two characters who both want to die.

One saved the other in an attempt to secure their own death.

Fuuko is finally being pursued by a hot guy who wants to be with her, but it's all wrong. When he saves her from falling, he cradles her in that very shoujo way with the big strong arms and the dainty little lady, but the look on Fuuko's face is very different from the usual sigh of relief.

Later at the warehouse, Fuuko's long hair is revealed, which gives Andy pause. Another shoujo romance moment occurs, the agokui (thumb on the chin before a kiss), but again, it's nothing like the actual romance she wanted.

Fuuko hits most of the stock shoujo characteristics. It's almost like she's a character from another manga. How did this protagonist end up in a battle shonen?

So, we've had romance tropes, zombie tropes, and now we also meet the Big Bad Secret Organization. Choosing the lesser of two evils, she gives Andy a kiss that looks similar to the one in we saw on the first page. They also confess their feelings to each other, sweetening the romance pot.

We get some hints about Andy's memory card which will become relevant later on. He references his past as "another story."

Chapter 1 ends with unsettled vibes. We know that both characters are now being hunted, but how can they work together when they are each looking for an end?

Masterpost

(Upon re-reading this, it kind of sounds like I don't like Undead Unluck. I promise this is not a hate-read!)

[myloveforhergoeson]

That's All She Wrote - Chapter 17

Previous chapter

Find me on wattpad and ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 17: Video Killed The Radio Star (1.17) ~ 13k

“It’s time…” Carlos was very pleased to announce, holding five large cherry-flavored slushies out to his best friends while they enjoyed a nice morning out by the pool.  “For the first annual Big Time Rush Brain Freeze-off!”

The rest of the band echoed his last word, “Off, off, off, off…” in an attempt to make their little challenge feel far bigger than it actually was. 

While the five of them had been friends for quite some time now, the four boys had the advantage of knowing each other all their lives to make memories and share traditions year after year. Roxy on the other hand, did not have that luxury and was often roped into their old traditions with little explanation or, on rare occasions, got to hear about their fond memories second-hand. More often than not, however, her friends would merely have to mention a place or event, and they would all be on the same page, omitting any important details from the situation and just expecting Roxy to understand what they were referring to; It drove their assistant nuts.

After she had told Carlos this while they were hanging out in the park the other day, the helmet-wearer was determined to come up with a new tradition she would be there for from the start and had combined a few of her favorite things to make it happen. How could she ever say no to the formation of core memories, sweet boys, and syrupy cherry flavoring?

“What are the rules again?” Roxy asked casually, trying to ignore the way her mouth salivated once she laid eyes on the delicious treat in front of her. This was a competition after all, and she was playing to win.

“Excellent question, Roxy,” The singer beamed, wiping a bit of condensation off the edges of the cup in front of him. “First one to get a brain freeze wins.” 

Simple enough.

There were, however, more comments coming from her friends. Logan held a finger up, eyeing the slushies too. “What’s the prize?”

“Brain freeze is its own reward,” Scoffed James, as though the answer were obvious. 

Agreeing, Carlos, Kendall, and Roxy nodded their heads. 

Once everything was clear, Carlos placed one of the large cups in front of each of his friends, who were surrounding one of the high-top tables by the pool in close proximity to the lobby. 

Goodbye unbearable summer heat!

It was Kendall who counted the group down.

“Ready…” 

Each of the teens reached their hands out, wiggling their fingers in anticipation.

“Set…”

So excited she was practically bouncing, the assistant did her best to reel herself back in.

“Go!”

No one wasted any time in snatching the plastic cups off the table before slurping down the freezing cold concoction using the long, red slushie straws. 

In the spirit of the competition, the writer did all she could to quickly induce the most painful brain freeze she had ever had. Pushing the cold concoction to the roof of her mouth at least gave her some time to enjoy the delicious flavor, though she was still trying her best to chug as much of it as she could, taking in the horrible faces her friends were making as they sucked down their own drinks - with every passing second, it was harder and harder for her to keep her laughter in at their crossed eyes and gaunt cheeks.

While everyone continued to drink, the sound of a crying teenager and squeaking wheels let out through the open lobby doors, revealing one of the band’s classmates trudging his way to the front doors - suitcase dragging behind him. Noticing this fact distracted the band, Roxy pushed on, even as the four made their way into the room to watch the rest of the scene unfold. 

Walking and chugging was tough, but the girl persevered nonetheless, as they spied the scene from afar. Judging by the directionality, the young singer and his mother headed towards the front door with their bags in hand, it was clear that they were checking out of the Palm Woods for good.

Maybe we should say something- The writer thought, before the familiar onset of brain freeze began to sink in, completely cutting off her thoughts. 

To their right, Buddha Bob emerged from his job cleaning Bitters’ office to stand beside the teens in awe, watching the pair remove themselves from the hotel.

“Aww…” The man sighed, gripping his blue and red mop. “Every time you hear crying and the squeak of luggage, another Hollywood dream has been crushed.”

Just as Roxy felt ice completely encase the surface of her brain, she let out a joyous cry, “Yes!” as she brought her head into her open, warm palm. 

Unfortunately, instead of her expected victory celebration from the band, it was met with the sound of more crying and squeaky wheels - more importantly, the sound of Camille crying, as she walked in between her friends. 

It wasn’t a sound the writer had heard often, but when she did hear it after she, Camille, and Jo finished a sappy rom-com, or talked about how horrible casting directors in Los Angles can be, she knew the tonality was far different from her acting-crying. There was no mistaking her friend’s sobs; this was the real deal. 

And suddenly, Roxy wished she hadn’t agreed to this brain-freeze off, so she was able to do more than press her thumb to the roof of her mouth to get the pain to go away and try to help her friend as she buried herself in Logan’s shoulder. 

Though Roxy regrettably had already won the challenge, her friends continued to slurp, even as Logan stopped to help console his crush. 

“I know it’s sad,” He tried through a red, icy mouthful as he gestured to the pair moving out. “But at least your Hollywood dream is still alive!”

It took everything the assistant had to concentrate enough to hiss, “Logan!” 

How he was unable to understand she was going through the exact same thing right now was baffling to her, maybe the freeze had already eclipsed his brain. 

“No!” Camille screamed, sobs beginning to roll out of her faster and louder. “I’m leaving the Palm Woods!” 

At her friend's words, Roxy was quick to set her drink down on a nearby coffee table before crushing Camille in a large hug, just holding the girl as she shook. 

It was an inconvenient time for her friends to receive their brain freezes, but of course, this exact moment was when their throbbing pain set in, causing the four of them to scream almost as loudly as Camille had while they dealt with the consequences of their competition. Theirs must have been particularly bad, as they collapsed into a pile on the floor, heads in their hands to try and eliminate the pain. 

By the time they were done making a scene, Roxy had let Camille go, and the two of them watched the band writhe for a moment. It almost seemed to cheer the actress up. 

Almost. 

“Wow…” The ravenette said through sniffles, using the back of her hand to wipe some of the tears away from her cheeks. “They’re taking it really hard.”

“No, that’s just the brain freeze.” Buddha Bob shared before the writer was able to shush him, sending Camille into another fit of sobs that their reactions weren’t genuine. 

For now, all Roxy could do was clutch her friend’s shaking hand, and try to come up with any plan she could to keep her friend in Los Angeles. Hell, she’d even settle for keeping her on the west coast at this point. 

“It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure something out,” The writer tried, though she didn’t even believe the words herself. 

After a few more moments, the band had gathered themselves and were able to return to the matter at present, examining the scene unfolding between the two girls. 

“Please tell me you’re rehearsing for a part,” Logan begged, reaching out to place a comforting hand on the actress’ shoulder.  

This comment only made Camille cry harder, and her words came choked out between heavy sobs. “No, I haven’t booked a part in six months and my dad’s making us move back to Connecticut!”

Pointing a black painted nail at her father, locked in conversation with Bitters while surrounded by more suitcases, Camille didn’t even try to hide the tremors racing through her fingers. 

There were few situations in Roxy’s life where she felt completely powerless, but as she stood watching over her friend and clinging onto her hand for dear life, while he father was making arrangements to move out of the hotel they both shared, she was terrified of losing her best friend and had no idea how to help. 

“Don’t worry, you’re not going anywhere,” Carlos declared, stepping forward to reassure his friend. 

His words seemed to intrigue the actress, though she was very skeptical. “You’re going to get me a part?”

“Nope!” The boy said, a little too quickly for his assistant’s liking. “I’m gonna hypnotize your dad into letting you stay! I’ve been practicing!”

Pulling his red watch off of his wrist, Carlos held it up in front of Camille’s face, waving the round object back and forth in front of her. Out of habit, the actress followed the object with her eyes, eyes that were quickly blurring with tears when she realized he didn’t have an actual plan.

“You’re getting very sleepy… “

Nope, she’s getting very sob-y.

And right on cue, Camille allowed the water misting her eyes to overflow, crying harder now more than ever as she slowly came to realize nothing could be done. 

The only thing that caused a stagnant pause in the actress was the arrival of Kelly, walking into the lobby while clutching her brown leather ledger. While Roxy hoped that she would notice them trying to console a friend, the talent scout marched right up to them, promptly shutting the ravenette up when she noticed her big smile. 

“Hey, guys! Gustavo wants you to come to the studio immediately to discuss your first music video!”

A fact that should made their assistant jump for joy, and additionally made her heart soar with hope. 

Music videos need actors… 

Though, where she was able to keep a lid on her feelings, the band was not and visibly began celebrating at the prospect right in front of their troubled friend. 

Camille’s dream was dying, and all the band could do was stand there celebrating their own careers taking off. Fate was often cruel. 

To be fair, it wasn’t like Roxy was doing much better than the four of them. Her brain was split between consoling her friend and wondering if one of her songs would be forever immortalized in video format. As opposed to the band, she was just better at keeping her thoughts to herself.

“Okay…” Kelly said, doing her best to hide the facial expression that read “This chick is nuts!” “Say goodbye to the nice crying girl and let’s go.”

“Oh, but Kelly!” Roxy called as the woman turned around, trying to make a swift exit. “You know who this is, star of The Magic Middle School season six, actress Camille Roberts!” 

The talent scout just rolled her eyes, as if she knew something about the video situation the teens didn’t, and continued to make her way to the door. 

After having a moment to process the girl’s words, Logan immediately caught onto her line of thought. “Wait. We can get Camille a part in our music video!

Those words were enough to get his admirer to stop her tears. “Really?”

With a snap of his fingers, Kendall’s face lit up. Roxy could smell plan. 

“Stall your dad until we get back.”

“Got it!” The actress said with a sharp nod, putting her game face on. 

The five watched as she moved her suitcase in front of her body, wheeling it from the far side of the lobby all the way to the front desk. Where, in true Camille style, she pretended to trip over the large bag, sending herself tumbling headfirst into the other four pieces of luggage her father had gathered behind him. To the girl’s credit, it looked incredibly real, even causing her friend to cringe into James’ side once she began to howl in “pain.” It was hard to watch even knowing it was fake, and judging by her dad’s worried cry of her name, she had convinced him as well. 

“Aw, man,” James mused, finding it hard to take his eyes off the scene unfolding in front of him. “She’s good.”

As everyone nodded in agreement, Roxy brought out her phone and called the closest car service she could to get them over to Rocque Records and learn more about their music video. They were launching themselves into an urgent save-their-friend mission and needed to head into work fully prepared to get her a part - no matter the cost.

Once the band and their assistant had arrived in their boss’ office, he seemed quite excited to see them. Maybe he was just as excited about the music video as they were - though they admittedly had ulterior motives for wanting to be so involved in the production. 

There were no introductions needed as Gustavo started to talk. “Griffin just gave me a big old check to produce your first music video - ‘City Is Ours.’”

Roxy would be lying if she didn’t admit she was just a little bit disappointed in their song choice. Of the many songs she had written for the band, it's not that she thought hers were better, she just thought they’d be better suited as a boy band’s debut music video. “Big Time Rush” was literally written to be an introduction to the band and their connection to Los Angeles, but Griffin’s word was always final. Besides, she had bigger things to worry about right now than a silly music video. 

This better air on MTV at the very least.

In a surprising turn of events, however, the band had nothing to say about the actual video, instead, they began singing Camille’s praises. 

“We have a perfect girl!”

“She’s awesome!”

“You’ve gotta -”

“Quiet!” 

Gustavo’s call for silence was released with such sheer force a breeze emanated through the room, knocking some of the assistant’s hair back over her shoulders. 

“Camille.” The band chorused, all at once, hoping that would be enough to help their friend. 

“And we don’t know who’s in the video, because we don’t know what the video is.” Their boss continued, gently telling the five they shouldn’t get their hopes up. Surely there had to be other people in the video, though. It would be weird if it was just the band singing their party song alone. 

Quick to follow, Kelly examined some of the sheets in her ledger, “Which is why we are meeting with the hottest video directors to find the right concept for BTR.”

We already tried this. Roxy thought as the group moved down to one of the meeting rooms at the end of the hall. Outside was a trail of people completely wrapped around the corner of the long hallway, all waiting to pitch their ideas to the producer. Doesn’t anyone remember Red, White, and Boy?

Taking their seats at the end of the large table, the seven waited eagerly for the first director to make their way into the meeting. From a small supply closet in the back of the room, the girl grabbed a handful of notepads and pens before placing them in the middle of the table for her friends to record their favorites on, taking a seat next to Carlos. 

Of course, the first person had to be Marcos del Posey, the famous teen photographer. The girl shouldn’t hold a grudge against him for the last time they met, however, that had been the fateful day she met Dak Zevon. No memories of that day were important anymore, and Marcos’ excellent photo of the band was no exception.

“The city is ours…” The man began, cleverly trying to use the song’s title in his pitch. “We start on the four boys in a car… A pretty, pretty car. Driving…”

Flipping one side of his curly brown mane to the side, Marcos pretended as though he were turning a large steering wheel, breeze flowing through his hair to set the scene as he swayed to the side. Only, when he continued this back-and-forth motion for far too long, the group realized that was the only concept for a video he had come up with. 

“And?” Gustavo asked the one question on everyone’s mind. 

“That’s as far as I got!” Shared the photographer. 

Before their boss could explode on the man for not being more prepared, Kendall slapped the table to grab the group’s attention, “What if there was a pretty, pretty girl in the car?”

“Yeah! Like Camille from the Palm Woods-” Carlos added, turning to face his bosses at the back of the room. “Please?”

“Oh, wow,” Roxy said, doing her best to try and blend into their conversation without her part of the plan seeming too obvious. “I’ve actually got a copy of her resume in my bag here…”

Pulling out the white sheet of paper, she handed it off to the adults. 

As they scanned over it, Logan jumped in too. “Look, if Camille doesn’t get an acting job, she has to go back to Connecticut.”

Even Marcos seemed moved by the teen’s display of affection, eyes welling up as they struggled to save their friend from moving back home. 

“Um…” Gustavo dragged out before crumpling up and throwing the resume back at Roxy. “This is a music video, not a charity case!” 

She did her best to remain calm as it bounced off her shoulder, though she’d really love to pick it up and chuck it right back at him.

To further drive his point home, the producer stood up, making sure to address each of the teens. “As you start to get famous, people will start to ask you for favors.” Strutting over to Marcos, Gustavo clapped him on the shoulder before pulling him into a weird side embrace “Like a fashion photographer that wants to direct a rock video even though he has no experience.” 

“So Marcos got the job?” 

“No.” After letting the photographer down in a less-than-stellar manner, he turned back to the five. “Do you see what I did there? Even when Marcos starts crying…” And start to cry the man did. “I still say ‘uh, no.’”

The wails the wannabe director let out as Gustavo continued speaking were just unbearably annoying, and he let them out right until the moment he left the room.

“Now,” Gustavo directed, “Go tell your friend that she’s not in the video!”

Involuntarily, Roxy hid her reddening face in her palms, trying to keep her emotions in check as she let out a breathy, loud sigh. Nothing good ever came from yelling at Gustavo, but if yelling from the rooftops of Los Angeles would get her friend an acting job, Roxy would be taking the first elevator to the top of the building to scream her heart out. There had to be another solution, maybe Kendall had a better plan than she did. 

For now, at least, Carlos thought he had a better plan, as evidenced by his launching out of his chair and sliding across the top of the long table to get to his boss. As he had earlier in the day, he unstrapped his red watch and swung it back and forth in front of Gustavo’s face. 

“She will be in the video. She will be in the video. She-”

“Get oooooooout!”

As the band usually did when they needed to make a speedy getaway, one of them - today it was Kendall - grabbed Roxy’s wrist and pulled her out of her chair, sprinting as fast as he could out of the room while dragging her along. 

***

“So…” 

Out of options for now, the teens ended up back at the Palm Woods, sharing a large table out by the pool as they tried to brainstorm solutions to keep their friend in Hollywood. 

For now, Roxy had her arms laid out on the edge of the table, resting her head face down as she tried to come to terms with the situation. She was busy trying to run her mind over every contact she had in her phone, seeing if anyone she knew could get Camille a part. Beside her, someone was playing with her ponytail, whipping it back and forth as the band wallowed. 

“What do we tell Camille?” Kendall continued, sighing. 

There was no other option in the girl’s mind as she mumbled against her skin, “The truth. At least for now until we figure something else out.”

“Seconded,” Agreed Logan. “We’ve gotta tell her she can’t be in the video.”

This was, of course, the perfect time for Camille to emerge from the lobby and join in their little conversation. 

“Guys…” 

Roxy poked her head up at the sound of her friend’s voice, seeing her smiling though one of her arms was confined to a sling. Looking so effortlessly beautiful and wonderful and excited all because the five of them had formed a plan that didn’t work, she trotted up to them to figure out the status of their mission. It made the assistant groan and flop her head down back onto her arms. Knowing they were about to give her the letdown of the century made her feel sick to her stomach, especially knowing she had a hand in how this was all playing out. 

Once the actress reached them, her voice thinned, a slight tremble present as she whispered, “I can’t keep this up much longer. Can I tell my dad I got the part in your video?”

Oh, my God, I’m gonna hurl-

“Yep!” 

Each member of her band said the exact same thing at the exact same time, lying directly to her best friend’s face. They were in way over their heads, and even after their conversation about honesty seconds ago, this had been their solution. 

Immediately, Camille burst into celebration, thinking the one thing that was about to bring her life crashing down had been solved. Based on the way the table forcefully jerked under Roxy’s arms, she had a feeling the actress had just thrown herself into Logan’s arms as she yelled, “I love you guys!”

As quickly as she had come, the girl was off in a flash to share the great news with her father - giving them at least a few more hours to get her a part in Gustavo’s video. When the band figured she was out of earshot, they let out exasperated groans, as if they hadn’t just dug themselves a bigger hole.  

When he was sure the actress was out of earshot, James blew a huff of air. “Not our best move.”

“Don’t lump me into this,” was his assistant’s immediate response, still buried in her arms. “I feel so sick… I think this video is going to kill me.”

As if the day couldn’t get any worse, the sound of six squeaky wheels and three crying girls began to emanate from the opposite side of the pool. Instead of their normal, perfect slow-motion saunter down the pool deck, when the writer poked her head up once more she noticed all three of the Jennifers, trying to keep their tears, sniffles, and emotions in as they wheeled their suitcases toward the lobby. 

Before anyone could react, Carlos jumped up and ran over to them, holding his hands out to stop them before they reached the inside of the hotel. “Oh! Woah-whoa-whoa-woah! Not you guys too?” 

“We haven't booked a part…” Brown-haired Jennifer shared, hand flying to her face to perfect her eye makeup as her tears began to fall. 

“In a really long time!” Curly-haired and Blonde Jennifer finished for her. 

The three girls buried themselves in Carlos’ chest and shoulders, letting out some more sobs as they realized their Hollywood dream was also coming to an end. Of course, the singer was more than happy to provide the actress comfort, pulling them as close as he could to himself. Once a few sad moments had gone by, the four sitting at the table heard him gasp in excitement.

“Carlos! Don’t you-” The assistant tried, but he ignored her words. 

“You can be in our music video!”

Immediately, the three girls jumped back, satisfied smiles on their faces. 

When is he going to learn all they ever do is use him…

Blond Jennifer adjusted the sunglasses sitting atop her head, before holding her left hand out to examine her manicure, not even bothering to continue her act away from the boy’s watchful eyes. “Told you that would work.”

As the three walked off, Carlos stood in the middle of the deck, stunned. Not only had they played him like a guitar, he had managed to make their music video problem three times worse. When he turned back around to face his friends, the assistant did her best to keep her cool, allowing his other three friends to hold their hands up in confused anger. 

Before anyone could get a word in, Carlos unstrapped the red watch on his wrist and swung it back and forth in front of them, “You are not mad at me. You are not mad at-”

“Yes, we are!” Logan practically shouted, but before he was able to get another word in, Jo emerged from the lobby, suitcase with squeaky wheels toting along behind her. 

Kendall bolted over to his girlfriend before anyone was able to stop him. “No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

To their assistant, however, her situation seemed a bit different than the previous ones the band had encountered. Jo had just moved here and it was normal not to get the first couple of parts she had tried out for, at least according to Camille. Her friend also wasn’t crying, she looked more concerned than anything as she lugged her case along the deck, stopping in front of the table the five had been sitting at. 

“Kendall, I need your help.”

“You can be in our video!” He said, not even giving the situation a once over. It felt more like a self-preservation tactic than anything, and Roxy knew better than anyone he hated being around crying girls. 

Jo smiled, surprised at his statement. “Really?”

“Yup!”

“I was just gonna see if you could fix this squeaky wheel,” She said, motioning to her pink and purple suitcase. “But… thanks!”

Dropping the bag off at his feet, she gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back up to her apartment. 

When he attempted to sit back down with his friends, their displeasure had intensified tenfold from how they felt about Carlos telling the Jennifers they could be in their video. Before he sat back down, the assistant kicked the leg of his chair next to her and nearly caused him to topple to the ground. 

“Okay, so I panicked!” Kendall attempted to defend himself, as he dragged the suitcase over to where he was sitting. “We’ll just put everybody in the background as extras or something.” 

“Yeah, that is acting, right?” Logan asked, seemingly unsure of his statement. 

Taking in their words, the assistant nodded, “As long as it hits their IMVDb page, I guess so.” 

“Totally!” James affirmed, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Besides, whoever heard of a music video without girls in it?”

By the way he was looking at her, she might’ve thought he meant she should be in the video if she didn’t know any better. 

***

After gathering more directors, Gustavo and Kelly called the teens back to Rocque Records for a continuation of their meetings, hoping to find a new vision for their video. 

Everyone had taken their seats from before, notepads in front of them, barely listening as the first director made his pitch.

Despite the fact they were indoors, the scraggly-looking man wore dark sunglasses and a nice business casual outfit. The only aid he had brought to the presentation was a small foam board with a picture of the Los Angeles skyline with CITY IS OURS written across the bottom. 

“Four boys… Nobody else…”

Immediately, the five did their best to subtly signal to each other that this production wasn’t going to fit their needs. 

“‘Cause the city is them… They are… The city.”

Trying his best to be inconspicuous from the other side of the table, Logan coughed into his hand, “No girls!”

Next to his assistant, Kendall slammed his hands into the dark table and stood up, addressing the producer. “You know what? We love this idea! You, Sir, are a genius.”

His tone was dripping with sarcasm, but neither James nor Carlos picked up on it, eyes widening in panic as their friend continued. 

“We’re the city! I’m a skyscraper. Logan’s a taxi-”

“Yeah!” The boy called, adding to his charade. Standing now as well, he pretended to honk an invisible horn, “Beep-beep!”

From the front of the room, the director adjusted his glasses, quickly holding his hands up in defense as he looked towards Gustavo, “That’s not the vision I have.”

“Yes, it is!” Roxy found herself calling out, standing now with Carlos and James as they backed up her statement. “That’s just so Big Time Rush! An experimental first music video is certainly a great idea.”  

“Gustavo, imagine it.” Leaning into their boss, Kendall painted a picture for him. “Big Time Rush is a giant singing city.”

The image of the band shutting down the 101 in order to film this ridiculous video flooded the assistant’s mind. Just as Kendall had suggested, the band wore stupid, blocky costumes, of a few skyscrapers, a taxi, and even a bank… A great idea killer. Hopefully, Gustavo also envisioned something equally similar and would realize how fast it would tank a boy band’s career. 

“That is the worst video I’ve ever imagined in my life!” The producer said after a minute, irritation growing in his voice about this massive waste of his time. 

The director still continued to combat the teens, “But that’s not my video!” “And it never will be. Next!”

Smiles of success, the teens gingerly waved as the man left the room. One director down, who knew how many to go?

“Who’s the next director?” Kelly wondered out loud, holding her ledger up to her boss to figure out the schedule’s logistics. 

Once the adults were distracted, Roxy felt Carlos tug her wrist and pull her down into the red carpet. The rest of the band had congregated under the table, on hands and knees, desperately trying to formulate the fastest plan to get rid of these directors and make their own pitch. 

“Okay, we know our mission,” Whispered Kendall, drawing out his plan on the floor with a lazy finger. “If the music video doesn’t have girls in it, we kill it!”

“Got it!” The other four chimed in, more than ready to put their dramatic acting skills to the test. 

When they reemerged, a new director was at the front of the room, dressed smartly. His poster board displayed a picture of the U.S. Bank Tower with a big red arrow pointing to the top. 

“Big Time Rush all alone, nobody else, on the tallest building in Los Angeles.”

“I’m afraid of heights!” Carlos shared, though the assistant didn’t know if he was serious or just trying to get the idea to come to pass. 

Logan snapped his fingers, pointing to his face, “I hate tall buildings. Nosebleeds!” 

“Kendall is afraid of getting carried off the top of tall buildings by large birds!” The assistant chimed in, pointing at the frontman, trying not to laugh at her ridiculous statement. 

“I get nauseous when I stand up.” Added James, who stood up out of his seat and immediately fell to the floor. 

Though she knew this was fake, the sound of his impact caused her to wince. 

No good in shooting a music video covered in bruises. 

“Next!” Their boss screamed, somehow in agreement with the five. 

Soon after, a woman in eclectic patchwork clothing and split-dyed black and white hair entered the room. Her poster board displayed a picture of what looked like Atlantis, proclaiming CITY IS OURS at the top much like the first pitch. Though, she had thrown in the Big Time Rush logo in the bottom right-hand corner. 

“You’re in a magical underwater city… without girls.”

“Can’t swim!” Logan called, despite knowing everyone in the room besides the director had seen him in the Palm Woods pool at one point or another.

Kendall threw his hands up in the air, “Me neither!”

“I’m afraid of sharks!” The helmet-wearer cringed, panic-stricken in his voice as he dove to hide under the table. 

“The band can’t breathe underwater, duh!” Roxy rolled her eyes, laying on a loose Valley Girl impression. 

Picking up a glass of water in front of him, James stood up and took a sip. “I get nauseous just drinking water!”

Before he hit the ground and his glass shattered across the carpet, James was sure to spit a good chunk out onto the top of Logan’s head. 

At least they’re having fun with this.

“Next!”

Another man, slicked back hair and more indoor sunglasses entered the room, pushing out the back of his blazer as he walked. The poster he carried showed an image of a disaster-ridden city, with decrepit, crumbling buildings and a disorienting yellow skyline. 

“Big Time Rush are the last surviving members of the human race! And they must reclaim a forgotten city.”

When the director finished speaking, Gustavo showed a small bit of excitement, “Interesting…”

This time, it was Logan’s turn to slam his hands down on the table and run wild with the idea. Stepping behind Gustavo as Kendall had done before, the boy set the scene. “Yes! Oh, I can see it now, a postapocalyptic, dirty, ugly, nightmare.”

The image of this in Roxy’s mind had her wishing for the skyscraper, taxi, and bank costumes back. 

“Next!” Gustavo screamed, and the man was sure to make off with his poster board as quickly as possible. “Why can’t I find a director I can work with?” 

At his statement, Marcos del Posey zoomed into the room, knocking over the tripod in which posters were being presented to the crew. 

“Okay!” He called, holding his hands out in anticipation. “What if the pretty, pretty car is going into a tunnel?” 

“And?” Everyone found themselves asking.

“That’s all I got.”

Getting up from his seat, their boss angrily called for lunch, and the teens found themselves back at square one. 

***

Though Roxy was against it, the band decided to take the time on their break to head back to the Palm Woods and brainstorm ideas as to how they can fix the situation they had trapped themselves in. She had agreed, only on the condition they stay in 2-J and not speak to any of their friends in case someone slipped up and told them they could also be in the non-existent video. 

As they all slumped onto the couch, Carlos sighed, laying his head upside down off the cushion. “We’re so dead.”

“Yup,” James and Roxy agreed, jinxing each other. 

“Which is why we need to find a crazy, creative Hollywood director that’ll put Camille, the Jennifers, and Jo in our video.” Kendall rattled off, equally as annoyed at the situation as his friends were. 

“Too bad Stephanie is off doing P.A. stuff on the set of that new cannibal cheerleader movie.” The girl thought out loud. 

Logan scoffed, clearly at a loss for what to do, “Like they’re just gonna walk right through the front door.”

Right after Logan’s statement, Buddha Bob opened the band’s front door, plunger in hand, startling the teens. 

“Hey, friends,” He greeted, “I heard you got a nasty clog.”

Ew. Did he have to announce it?

Her friends, on the other hand, had a different outlook as they examined the man standing in the doorway. 

Holding his arm out in a “Why not?” sort of manner, James muttered, “That could work too.”

***

“It says here that you’ve directed music videos for Lady Gaga, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and… the Fresh Beat Band?”

After a little makeover and an impressive fake resume, Big Time Rush and their assistant had managed to transform Buddha Bob into a strange and elusive Hollywood director. 

Standing behind their bosses, the five did their best to guide Buddha Bob through his interview and hit all the points they had discussed together before entering the room. Really, all he needed to remember was that girls, plenty of them, were necessary for the vision of his video, but he was a hard man to trust. 

“Yeah, uh… I don’t remember.”

Safe to say he was bombing before the hard-hitting questions. 

Gustavo smacked the portfolio the assistant had handed him, consisting of all the fake videos he had managed to direct. “What do you got?”

‘“Oh! The city is ours!” The man said, putting one of his dusty work boots up on the table as he spoke. As he gave his pitch, the boys were mouthing long, just as they had practiced, and giving their hired actor many, many thumbs up. “For one night, make your city yours.”

“Interesting.” Gustavo deadpanned. “Go on.”

Shit.

Not thinking their plan would get them this far, no one had thought of a pitch beyond that. Of course, of all people, this was who their producer wanted to hear more from. 

“What?” Buddha Bob asked, just as confused as the teens, who were scrambling to find a way to communicate with him from behind the table. Their only bet now was a series of convoluted hand gestures and prayers that the maintenance man would be able to understand. “Uh… There’s a bunch of kids in it… Tall kids…”

Around Roxy, the band was attempting to act out their idea video, but she agreed with the man, they were being very confusing about it. At one point, they had all begun pointing to her, Carlos gave her a little side hug and Kendall and James puffed her hair, while Logan did his darndest to keep gesturing to her. 

“Weird? Short kids?”

Biting her tongue, Roxy frowned as the boys continued to fawn over her. 

“Uh… Girls! Uh. Uh, teenage girls.”

Silent celebrations rang through the boys as they now pretended to play the guitar. Each of them had a little bit of a different style, but Roxy noticed they were all trying to imitate ways they had seen her play in the past. 

“Itchy. Itchy teenage girls. No! Rockin’ out! Teenage boys and girls rockin’ out to BTR!” 

Though the pitch itself came off in a very off-putting way, Gustavo stroked his chin in thought for a moment. “I… love it! You are the director that we’ve been looking for.”

Though they had been quick to celebrate, one of the Rocque Records production interns entered the room, “Yo, Gustavo, there’s a clog in the toilet.”

“Ooh! I’ll get that!” Buddha Bob answered, throwing off the sunglasses that were part of his costume and pulling up a toilet plunger from the bag of supplies he had brought with him from the hotel. “I’m a janitor!” 

“No, you’re not!” The five found themselves shouting, trying to pull him back to the conversation at present. They had finally gotten exactly what they wanted and it was beginning to slip through their fingertips. 

Their response startled him, catching the man off guard, “No, I’m - won’t! Uh… I am a… director! That’s why… Get your rockin’ teens!”

Out of fear, or some strange defense mechanism, Buddha Bob turned the plunger around and pretended to play it like a guitar, singing a completely made-up song about the video he had just formed off the top of his head. 

Understandably, unfortunate as it was for the band and their assistant, Gustavo immediately saw through this, proclaiming, “You are fired!” before anyone could salvage the situation. 

“And, dawgs, Roxanne,” The man continued, anger still laced within his voice, “Go back to the Palm Woods and tell your friends that they’re fired too!” 

As expected, the ride back to the hotel was silent. 

No one ever wanted to do something they knew would hurt a friend, but at this point, their lies and schemes had gotten way out of control and there was nothing any of them could do to get the result they wanted. The video was a bust, they had told too many people they could be a part of it, and apparently, their boss just didn’t understand how cutthroat this town could be considering he was part of the problem. It was frustrating and upsetting, but there was nothing more the five could do to get their friends to stay. 

Even as they trekked into the lobby, the five were still at a loss as to what to do. 

Just their luck, there happened to be five more of their classmates wandering around the place, crying their eyes out, as they lugged their squeaky wheeled luggage about. 

As soon as Roxy heard her friends sigh, she knew they were in for big-time trouble. Quickly, she placed her head down and tried to ignore the loud crying sounds radiating off their friends and looped her arm through Logan’s. Unsuccessfully, she tried to pull him through the large group without any mention of the video. 

Almost immediately, the four of them began consoling everyone in sight, promising they too could be in the non-existent Big Time Rush music video. 

The assistant thought she might collapse right then and there due to the pure guilty twist in her gut as her friends continued to make promises they couldn’t keep. It got to the point where even if someone wasn’t sobbing, just simply walking through the building, they were now surprisingly part of the band’s most recent project.

What’s wrong with them? The false hope is even worse than the prospect of leaving this town…

Once they reached 2-J and had gathered around the breakfast bar to enjoy a long overdue meal, Logan was busy handing out water bottles to his friends who munched away on their sandwiches, thinking about what they had done. 

“So I did the math,” He said, passing a bottle off to the girl, who eagerly gulped down half the contents trying to stave off her incoming headache. “And we’ve lied to 14 people.”

“17…” James corrected, offering a sheepish smile to the writer as she turned to face him, a murderous glint in her eye. “I told three kids at the ice machine they could be in our video.” 

By now, Roxy was busy propping her head up in her hands, elbows on the table, rubbing her temples as she tried to think of anything that might help her band out of this situation. Behind her, she heard Kendall smack a hand to his forehead, while Carlos tried to hypnotize himself into thinking they weren’t liars. 

They were liars, big, fat ones at that, and they were only making it worse by trying to deny it. 

“It’s not lying if we put all of them in a video. That’s all the parents need to see, their kids ‘acting’ in Hollywood.” Kendall chimed in, placing air quotes around “acting” in a way that made the writer’s skin crawl. 

It was scary how comfortable her friends were becoming with deceiving their entire friend group and their parents. 

Ding dong

From the kitchen, Logan held up a finger to press pause on their conversation before he ran to the door to see what was up. 

The conversation did not come to an end, however, as the rest of the group tried to catch up with Kendall’s thinking. 

“So, we shoot our own video?” James asked, tone of voice insinuating it wasn’t a terrible idea, while Kendall snapped his fingers to let him know he was on the right track. 

Once Logan pulled the door open, the horde of people the band had promised could be in the video flooded into 2-J, eagerly awaiting information about the upcoming shoot. Camille, ever the optimist, was the first to bombard the singer.

“Hey, so my dad wants to know when we shoot the video-”

“Who’s the director?” The Jennifers cut her off, trying to gauge how much exposure the project might give them. 

When Logan couldn’t answer their questions, he ran back over to his friends, coughing into his hands, as the small mob followed him. “Start lying, now!”

“Uh, the record company wants Big Time Rush’s video to be directed by… Big Time Rush and their assistant. It’s high-concept.” Kendall shared, soothing the crowd. 

It had the opposite effect on Roxy, who accidentally stumbled back into James at the blond’s comment. As if she needed another reason for her headache to grow, the questions began to roll in.

“So… What’s the concept?” Jo asked. 

This is where the band’s plan faltered every time, each of them stumbling over their words and trying to form similar thoughts as their friends to placate the crowd in front of them. 

“There’s a car!” Carlos yelled, imitating the photographer, Marcos. “A pretty, pretty car!”

“And we are driving because the city is ours.” Added James, hoping that sneaking the song title into his statement would make it sound more official. 

The horde somehow fell for this, really enjoying the idea even if there was no need for a large crowd of people to be in their version of the video. 

“Cool!” Guitar Dude shared, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head before asking, “What else?”

“Uh, it’s a video about a…” Logan’s idea fell short, looking to his friends for help. 

At this point, Roxy was still leaning on James for support before she nervously yelled, “A flash party! On a rooftop overlooking the city!”

It was the only thing that came to mind that involved a large group of teenagers and would make for a pretty fun video if everything went according to plan. Though, she nearly fell backward onto the couch as her stomach knotted in pain again… She hated this guilty feeling. 

“Because no matter what city you’re in, if you have friends and music, you can make the city yours!” Kendall finished, a very satisfied look on his face.

Now that their plan was in place, involving everyone in the room, the small crowd gave a bit of applause, forgetting about the logistical questions they had from before. Everyone seemed to be buzzing about the video, now the five just needed to find a way to pull it off. 

“That’s actually really cool…” James mused, directing his comment at his assistant among all the commotion, rubbing circles into her back a bit as though he sensed she wasn’t feeling well. 

He wasn’t quiet enough, however, as Kendall jumped in, “I know it is!” 

“And once my dad sees the video - Boom! - I can stay at the Palm Woods!” Camille announced to the group, giving even more cause for celebration. 

While the cheers roared on through the group, Carlos ran down the hall, presumably to his bedroom, and emerged once more with a video camera in hand. 

“Let’s shoot a video!” 

***

Shoot a video they most certainly did, as though the quality of the ancient video camera Carlos had dug up wasn’t incredibly poor. For most of the day, Roxy had the device in hand as she ran around the hotel, capturing different scenes of the band and their friends partying it up. They had borrowed Mrs. Knight’s car, though the assistant learned that none of the members of the band had anything beyond a learner's permit, so they couldn’t even make it look as though they were actually driving. At one point they had blocked off the lobby and had their friends run amok inside, making sure to fully capture everyone’s faces so there was undeniable proof they were in the music video. 

Though they were quite far from the famous Hollywood Hills, the girl did her best to capture them through the zoom feature the camera seemed to be capable of. The band had even thought of making their way to the top of the Rocque Records parking garage to get a little bit of the city skyline in the background of their video for the flash party sequence. 

Everything seemed to be working out, until the band decided they wanted a bit of extra footage in Mrs. Knight’s rental, and the batteries on the camera began to cut out. 

Once the footage was captured, the band pushed their assistant into her bedroom in 2-H and sat her down in front of her laptop to edit everything together. 

“And you guys think I have video editing experience… why?” 

The four of them flopped down on her unmade bed, looking between each other as though the answer was obvious. 

“Um…” Logan tried, scratching the top of his head. “You edit audio with Gustavo all the time… Can it be all that different?” 

Rolling her eyes, she took the chip out of the video camera and inserted it into the side of her device before opening the pre-loaded editing software. Plugging her headphones in as well, she kept one out just in case she had any questions or the band needed anything in the meantime. She was still on the assistant job after all. While she went to work, the band just lazed around, messing with her stuffed animals, poking at the trinkets on her dresser, or commenting on the numerous posters covering her walls. 

“Hey…” James trailed off, pointing to a smattering of Big Time Rush posters she had torn out from her most recent editions of Pop Tiger. “Want us to sign these?”

“Practice your signatures first and then get back to me,” She said, though slightly distracted as she attempted to separate the usable footage from the blurry, unclear footage. “Though the more of my stuff you sign the less your signature is worth.” 

Is it embarrassing to have photos of my friends covering my walls? Or is it just a sign I’m proud of my work?

Time ticked on by, and eventually, Roxy had put together a pretty decent product, or at least she thought, and was finally ready to present it to her friends and their families. It felt really good to be able to put something together that encompassed all of her friends, not just the band, and help them out in any manner she could. Even if the product wasn’t studio quality, she hoped it would be enough. 

Popping the cartridge out of her computer, she spun herself around in her chair to find her friends reenacting some of the scenes they had shot with some of her stuffed animals. 

Throwing the cartridge to Logan, he caught it just in time as he jumped up from his seat, “Ready?” 

“As it’ll ever be. Turns out you were right, the process wasn’t all that different.” 

“God, Rox, you’re a lifesaver,” Kendall sighed, putting the stuffed puppy he was holding back down on her pillow. 

“Only until it stops paying the bills. You four owe me. Big time.” Though she did her best to line her voice with a bit of humor, she was still pretty on edge about the video situation as they made their way down into the lobby. “You know… Lady Gaga is coming to town next month and I’d love to see her.”

Just before they reached the lobby, Carlos let out a little yelp.

“Roxy! You’re not in the video!”

The other three boys stopped in their tracks, looking between themselves, wondering how they had managed to leave her out. Truly, she hadn’t even noticed it herself as she had spliced the music and footage together. If it didn’t bother her then, it didn’t bother her now. 

“It’s okay,” She placed a comforting hand on his arm, truly meaning it. “I’m more suited for off-camera work than on. Besides, this video is about our friends, not us.”

Finally reaching the crowd of people waiting for them in the lobby, the band muttered out near-silent apologies to the girl as she swiped Bitter’s computer and placed the SD card in. Once they got the video up and running, the residents of the Palm Woods hotel watched eagerly, excited to see themselves in the first-ever Big Time Rush music video. 

Within the first 15 seconds, however, their excitement faded. No one even tried to hide their disdain for the choppy, poorly-formed video. 

I knew it wasn’t a masterpiece but… damn.

When finally ended after three long minutes, the room was silent, trying to process the horrible piece of media they had just consumed, and the queasy feeling Roxy had from before returned. The service she had been so happy to provide had failed, and now it would be her fault her friends were going home. 

For a moment, she thought about ducking out of the lobby, completely avoiding the aftermath of the situation altogether, but James placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a small smile. 

At the very least, her band had her back. 

“That is the worst music video ever!” The Jennifers cried in unison, thankfully directing their words toward the band more than their assistant. Roxy wasn’t sure she’d be able to take the blow head-on.

Looking among themselves, the band nodded. James’ hand removed itself from his assistant’s shoulder as the four of them nodded. “We know.”

They… know?

This caused a bit of an uproar among the group, everyone talking over everyone, though the writer didn’t hear much of anything. She had focused her vision on one of the windows at the back of the room, trying to focus on her breathing. This week had been the cause of so many hardships, she wasn’t interested in a public meltdown making the list. How could they have known it was so awful and still show it in front of everyone else?

Roxy supposed it was time for her rose-colored glasses to come off. It seemed as though she was only good at one thing: writing songs. And the band had just become increasingly aware of that. 

“What’s really going on here?” Jo managed to ask over all the chatter, bringing everyone’s attention back to the band. 

Letting out a sigh, Kendall threw his hands up in exasperation. Big Time Rush was finally beat. “The truth is… Gustavo said we couldn’t have you guys in our video.”

The other three followed up with heartfelt apologies, trying to reach every person they had promised could be in the video. 

Was that really so hard?

“So you put on this entire charade to trick all of us and our parents into thinking we had acting jobs?” Camille asked, a slight tremor in her voice as she walked up to face Logan. 

The boy was at a loss for words, only able to nod his head as he looked the actress in the eyes, pleading for her forgiveness.

Smack

Camille struck him right across the face, something the assistant had been strongly considering as well. 

“That is so sweet!” The actress gushed, offering her biggest, brightest smile. 

“Well, then why did you just slap me right there?” Cried Logan, rubbing his left cheek to try and numb the pain. 

She shrugged, “Seemed like the thing to do.”

Once those two had made up, the crowd behind them dissipated, everyone walking off to their respective rooms to presumably continue getting ready to move out. 

Fewer people around than before, Jo stepped up, slinging her arm around Camille’s shoulder as the ravenette sighed, “Guess I better go finish packing.” 

Roxy was only able to offer a silent wave to her two friends as they headed off as well. If she wasn’t still on the clock she would have offered to help, though she wasn’t quite sure if she’d be able to face Camille again. 

While she gingerly crossed her arms, leaning against the front desk, she stared down at her shoes. How was it that someone as talentless as her got to stay in town while one of the best actresses she knew was being sent home? All she did was write songs, she wasn’t even a performer, but she had the luxury of living in the Palm Woods all expenses paid. 

Maybe I can harbor her and her father in my apartment.

Destitute, Kendall stepped into the lobby, standing where all their friends had been moments ago. “Gustavo was right. I guess you can’t make everyone’s Hollywood dreams come true.”

The sound of a man sobbing startled the teens, looking up to find Marcos choking back his tears and pulling his squeaky-wheeled suitcase toward the front doors of the lobby. 

“Marcos, you’re leaving Hollywood too?” Carlos called, rushing over to speak to the photographer. 

Instinctively, the other four huddled up around the helmet-wearer. 

What’s the harm? There isn’t anything these four can promise him now. 

“No, I am moving in. I was dancing while making a ham, and I started a fire.” He explained, crying presumably due to the property damage the fire had caused his previous home. “By the way, your video was horrible.”

Roxy’s “It seriously wasn’t that bad!” overlapped James’ defensive, “Oh, and you could do better?”

“My dead chihuahua could do better!”

“Oh, I’ll show you dead chihuahua…” Roxy started before Logan caught her arm and held her back. 

Though Marcos took a step back at the girl’s threat, he continued speaking, “However, flash party was inspired! What you need is a pretty, pretty roof.”

For whatever reason, the girl felt a small chill break through the room. The boys had an idea. 

“And it’s your dream to direct a music video, right?” Kendall asked, glancing from the man and back to his friends. 

“Everybody’s always, ‘no, no, no!’... Marcos just needs one ‘yes!’”

Together, the five nodded, pointing in the man’s direction, giving him the most enthusiastic “yes!” they could muster. 

Hardly able to contain his excitement, the wannabe director launched himself at the band, crushing them in a group hug the assistant was quick to sidestep. 

Once he broke away, he was able to finally get a list of everything he would need, “Okay, now all Marcos needs is a camera, lights, you in pretty clothes, all the crew, the equipment, and a pretty, pretty car!”

He had lost all of them somewhere in the middle of his list, entrancing them as he continued to rattle off about this and that, before Kelly, emerging from the lobby doors caught their attention. 

Dressed in her typical business casual, in her arms she carried four bags of clothing, a handful of schedules, and her brown leather ledger. 

“Hey, guys, we’re shooting the video tomorrow at 6 pm at Colossal Studios. Bring your smiles. Wear these…” She instructed, handing the clothing off to their assistant. Marcos tried to butt in once there was a lull in the conversation, but Kelly interjected, “And no, you can’t direct! Gustavo is.” 

Before she left, she passed off the schedules to Logan, detailing every part of the shooting process. Examining the sheets over his shoulder, Kendall plucked out from his friend’s hand.

“Okay! I know where we can get our lights, camera, and crew.” “And!” James added excitedly, gently taking the bags off his assistant’s hands. “We have the clothes.”

“But we still need a pretty, pretty car,” Carlos mentioned, imitating the wannabe again. 

“You need a cool car?” Katie emerged from in front of the vending machine, kickball under one arm and a bag of chips under another. “I can get you a cool car.” 

That little girl always worked in mysterious ways. 

***

After a stern talking to the band about not lying to spare people’s feelings anymore, and a good night's rest, Roxy was pretty eager to be on the set of their music video in Colossal Studios. Though their director was a bit grouchy so late in the evening, she didn’t let that damper her mood as she explored the set around her. Once the band’s plan was put into place, they’d finally be able to fix their giant mistake from yesterday. 

The video was to be shot on a green screen, where professional editors would be able to add in the desired effects later. All of the equipment looked so futuristic and high-tech, it had to make for a great video - regardless of if it only featured the boys or not. 

Once everything was settled and Gustavo and Kelly had all their logistics squared away, Roxy stole one of the director's chairs that were designated for the band, and made herself comfortable to “watch the shoot.” Colossal Studios had provided everything they had ever wanted for the set of a music video, so for now she focused on blending in with the crew and keeping their boss from suspecting anything. 

“Alright!” Gustavo called, turning to the band. “Are you ready to make the best music video of all time, ever?”

Time to set their plan in motion. 

Kendall nodded before cocking his head to the side, “Oh, Gustavo, Kelly said she wanted to see you outside?” 

Grabbing a megaphone from a nearby table, Gustavo yelled into it, “Fine, but do not move!” 

Roxy took this as her cue to sneak over to the stage door behind him. Not even suspecting a thing, Gustavo strutted outside to the patio where Kelly was making a phone call, not even bothering to check the door behind him. Reaching out for the handle, the girl swiftly pulled it closed, flipping the lock on her side to shut the adults out. 

From there, she ran back into the studio, now quite nearly empty, except for James standing in the middle of the large green display waiting for her to catch up. All of the equipment had been moved in accordance with the fake schedules she and the boys had printed up last night and handed out to the crew this morning. The only thing that had been left behind was the girl’s bag, which she eagerly scooped off the floor and ran over to her friend. 

Together, the two of them burst out of the studio, meeting up with the last of the company’s trucks making their way over to the Palm Woods. 

***

“I don’t know how I let them talk me into this…” Roxy sighed, picking up the fake shopping bags she, Camille, and Jo, had made last night for their props in their portion of the music video. 

After the band had inadvertently left her out of their last video, they had taken a similar script for a flash party on the tallest building in Los Angeles and asked Camille and Jo if they wouldn’t mind a familiar face in their shots. 

The other two girls grabbed their bags as well, waiting for the cue from the cameraman to start their scene. 

“No need to be nervous!” Camille giggled, pulling some of her curls to the front of her shoulder. “You’ll remember your first acting job forever and ever, so let’s make it count!”

First and hopefully last. Roxy did her best not to dwell on how many people would end up seeing this music video. 

Beside her, Jo nodded, “It’s going to be a blast! We’re literally getting paid to party with our friends tonight. Who cares if there’s a couple of cameras in the way?”

“We all remember what happened to me at the last Big Time Rush party? Right?” The assistant brought up against her better judgment. 

“Hey!” The blonde said, smacking her on the shoulder. “Will you let yourself have fun? What’s with all the apprehension anyway?” 

Blinking at her friend’s statement, Roxy thought about it for a moment, unable to think of one good reason she shouldn’t enjoy herself. She was standing in the middle of a Hollywood video shoot with her best friends and finding something to complain about. Instead, she should be focusing on looking her very best in hopes their video made it to MTV.

“Ah, you’re right. I guess I’m still feeling a bit guilty about the fake music video thing… But, I want to have good memories of today. I’m ready to party with my girls tonight!” 

The three of them shared a laugh, genuinely excited to be embarking on this project together. 

“I hope the boys ask the two of you to dance. What better way to officially announce you and Kendall and together… and whatever you and Logan are… to the world! That sounds so romantic!” Roxy continued, hoping to bring back the lightened mood. 

Looking at each other, the two girl’s eyes went wide. 

“You know, I hadn’t even considered that, but I think you’re right!” Gushed Jo, running a nervous hand through her hair as the bags in her hand rustled a bit. “Kendall can be clueless sometimes, but maybe if he had a nudge in the right direction?

Gently she nudged the writer with her shoulder, causing her to burst out in more giggles. 

“I promise I’ll tell the two of them the first moment I can.”

“What about you then? Are you hoping a certain someone will ask you to dance?” Inquired Camille, raising an eyebrow toward her friend. 

Roxy would be lying if she said an image of James didn’t flash through her mind before she shook her head. “I’m still trying to get over the last guy I was with.”

“Hmm…” The ravenette hummed out, acting as though she didn’t fully believe her. “You and James seemed pretty close earlier. Like, you were practically leaning into him, and I’m pretty sure I saw him rub your back.”

“You… What? No. That’s just crazy!” 

The assistant was betrayed by the beet red color her cheeks were turning, even through the thick layer of screen makeup she and the girls had applied. 

“Oh my gosh, I totally saw the same thing!” Jo gasped, pointing at the lying girl. “Are you guys… like-”

“Places everyone!” The director, Marcos, ended up yelling out at just the perfect time. 

Professional as ever, Jo and Camille immediately dropped what they had been saying and switched on their acting faces. Bags poised, cheeks bubbling over with large smiles; Roxy did her best to copy them as she looped her arms through theirs. 

“Action!” 

Fake laughter rang out from all three girls as they made their way down a stretch of Hollywood Boulevard. The two girls were talking nonsense, just trying to make it look like their lips were moving in conversation, and Roxy followed their lead, nodding at random intervals and filling in laughter when she felt it was appropriate. 

A few seconds into their scene, Jo pulled out her phone, showing the other two a text message from a mysterious number. 

Big time party 2Nite!! Up on the Roof!!

The girls dropped their jaws in shock, shock eventually turning into giggles as Jo grabbed Roxy by the wrist and began to take off down the sidewalk. Each of them were bathed in the warm glow of the golden sun as it began to set, giving off the perfect ambiance for their flash party. 

Entering the lobby of the bank that housed the tallest rooftop in Los Angeles, which the band had somehow managed to shut down for the evening,  the three of them ran to one of the teller windows. Pretending to inquire about the party, they eventually met up with the Jennifers and Guitar Dude before booking it to the elevator. 

Roxy was having a blast, getting to run around the city, and goof off with her friends finally allowed her some time to take her mind off the hectic events of the last few days. Doing her best to avoid looking at the cameras surrounding them, she kept her focus on Jo and Camille, then eventually on the band once they reached the party on the roof. 

The set was gorgeous, warm light still washing over the mob of teens as the Los Angeles skyline stood proudly behind them. String lights were strung across the roof, allowing for extra ambient lighting, and the gentle breeze gave off the perfect effect as everyone's hair was softly tousled about. 

Without meaning to, Roxy found herself separated from both Jo and Camille but used her time away from them to make her way over to her band and give them the nudge they needed to dance with their girls. 

At one point, the music had been blasting for so long, Roxy could feel the drum beat reverberating in her chest as her favorite part - the guitar solo - began to blast out of the speakers. As long as she could see a camera, she didn’t stop dancing but allowed herself to take in the crowd around her. 

Everyone from the band, to their friends, to every Palm Woods resident they promised a spot in the video seemed to be having an incredible time. As the music played, the crowd kept moving, relishing in the wonderful song Gustavo had written, and happy to be there for the band. 

The video ended with a touching shot of Logan and Kendall practically smothering Camille and Jo in the biggest bear hugs; it seemed they had gotten their assistant’s memo and were now on the track of making their relationships media-official. It made Roxy’s heart soar to see the way her friends looked at each other, so full of tenderness and care, still managing to find happiness even at work. 

By the time Marcos called his final “Cut!”, it had felt like no time had passed at all. 

***

The music video premiered at the Palm Woods pool mere days later, where the band and their assistant had finally been able to show off a project worthy of their friends to all of the hotel residents. 

When it ended, Roxy couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride. It was different from how finishing a song felt in a way that was hard to put into words, but seeing their song with an additional component made it more real. Hopefully, someday, one of their videos would be for a song that boasted her name in the credits instead of Gustavo’s. 

Cheers and applause rang out from all corners of the pool, satisfying both friends and parents alike. 

Off towards the cabanas at the back of the pool, Team Big Time Rush and their closest friends watched in wonder, soaking up the praise for all their hard work. 

Camille was even embraced by her father who proudly proclaimed, “Looks like we’re staying at the Palm Woods for a while!” 

“Oh, yes!” The girl screamed, not even stopping to thank her father before sprinting over to Logan, tackling him to the pool deck with one major kiss. 

Aww, his assistant thought, making sure to turn away before things got a little too heated between the pair. She loved them both dearly but had no desire to see any of that involving her friends. 

After most of the applause had died out, the teens turned their heads at the sound of slow clapping, slowly getting closer and closer to where they stood. Now, to their right stood Gustavo and Kelly, two completely different emotions clouding their faces. Kelly, as always, looked incredibly pleased with the product the band and their assistant had created, while Gustavo had his face scrunched in displeasure. 

“We came here to chew you guys out!” Their boss called, making the teens shift uncomfortably. 

Couldn’t they have at least waited for work tomorrow?

“But…” Kelly drove her elbow into Gustavo’s side.

The man sincerely addressed his employees, “But, great video.” 

“And?” Another elbow from the talent scout hit her boss.

“Great director…” 

Marcos went on a bit of a rampage through the pool as he folded under Gustavo’s praise, but it was Jo who managed to reign in the chaos. 

Holding up both of her hands in victory, she called, “Let’s hear it for Team Big Time Rush!” and more thunderous applause roared through the crowd. 

Though least expected of all, another roar ran through the crowd, this time in the form of screaming by the hotel’s manager, Bitters.

“How do you plan on paying for scratch removal, leather treatment, and trunk pain and suffering?” He cried, directly into Kelly’s ear no less, about the “inconvenience” the band had caused him while borrowing his car to film the video. 

Thinking for a moment, Kelly raised her ledger and began to scribble something down. “Well, with the money we saved with those five shooting the video, how’s this?” 

Whatever number she showed him left Bitters obviously blown away, claiming, “That would work.”

Beside them, Gustavo called, “Add another zero, sell me the car! And we’ll make it the Big Time Rush mobile.” 

“Oh…” Roxy could hardly contain her excitement. None of the guys had driver's licenses, and she did, meaning she was the only one of them legally allowed to take the beautiful red car for a spin. 

The check was handed off and when Bitters tossed the band the keys they landed directly in her hands. 

***

“So, where to first?” 

The following morning, Roxy had managed to drag all of her friends out of bed at the promise of a nice picnic in Lake Hollywood Park - any excuse to take their new car out for a spin. 

After digging through her closet, she had found a cute, red sundress that matched the car’s paint job almost perfectly, and a matching red bandana given to her by James some time ago. Paired together with a pair of black wedges and her bright, red star-shaped sunglasses, Roxy was more than ready to rock and roll as she tossed her bag and fully packed picnic basket in the backseat. 

As she climbed in through the driver’s side door, she was fascinated with the bench seating the Pontiac GTO had to offer. It was an incredibly old, yet well-preserved car, meaning there was just one other feature that made it feel like this car was practically made for her: Instead of a CD radio the beautiful convertible only played cassette tapes. 

Logan and Kendall piled onto the bench next to her, while Carlos and James reluctantly took the back. 

“Wherever, as long as lots of people see us in this car!” Carlos called, dropping his sunglasses over his eyes. 

Nodding, she popped in one of her favorite tapes, put the car in drive, and pulled out of the hotel’s parking lot. “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers began to blast out of the speakers, and she made no attempt to turn the stereo down as they sped down the 101.

Loudly singing along, the girl was relishing every second the car vibrated under her, the beautiful engine practically purring, taking her and her friends to new places they’d never been before. There hadn’t been many times where she had truly felt like a teenager in this city, always too preoccupied with work and songwriting to truly have time with her friends to explore.

After a few miles, just enjoying the music and the company, Kendall reached for the radio and turned the song down, “How did this happen?!” 

Even calm and collected Kendall was shocked by their twist of good fortune.

“Gustavo buying us a car?” James yelled over the wind, leaning his arms on the back of the front bench. 

“I told you this watch would work!” 

Through the rearview mirror, Roxy noticed Carlos holding up his red watch with a brilliant smile. 

From beside Roxy, Logan let out a laugh, “Hey, in two more months, I’ll have my full license. Then I’m gonna take Camille out on the best date she’s ever been on.” 

“She’ll love that!” Roxy called, hoping her voice would carry as she hit the gas and the engine roared a bit louder. “But for the next two months, this baby is all mine!” 

Not even waiting for a response, the girl turned up the music once more. This time, “Song 2” by Blur blared into her ears. 

“Oh, my God, I love this song! Just listen to the guitar, it’s like, unmatched!” 

Nodding along to the grunge, alt-rock melody, the chorus rattled around in her brain… For the first time in a long time, a set of lyrics popped into her head. 

Hand shooting out to turn down the music and focus on her own tune, the girl kept her eyes on the road, making sure they were still headed in the right direction. 

“Roxy?” She heard James call, but she had to mutter her lyric set one more time before feeling confident enough to speak. 

“One of you grab my book! Hurry!” 

There was the faint sound of rustling in the backseat before Carlos tried to hand the book up to her. 

“Dude, no time!” She called out, passing the world’s slowest car in the right lane. “Write this down for me, okay? Just find the first empty page and do not! Do not! Read anything else!” 

Pages rustled, and she heard her pen uncap itself, before James said, “Go!” 

“I can feel it in the air that it’s on tonight… Doesn’t really matter if it’s wrong or right… Pedal to the metal, baby, hold me tight... Anything you want, I can get that, girl, if you’re with that, girl’... Then write ‘whoo-hoo’ and ‘Blur melody, ask for sample rights.’”

Waiting a few moments, in case he needed her to repeat anything, Roxy heard the book snap shut, and the rustling of it being put back in her bag. 

“Got it!” James proclaimed, “Sounds like a fun one!” 

“Aren’t all my songs?” 

Daring to be a little dangerous, she pulled her sunglasses a bit farther down on her nose and glanced in the rearview, where she found James looking right back at her. He gave her a wink, she gave him a smile, and the five continued off on their day trip, ready to see what more Los Angeles had to offer.

--

Thanks for reading! Season one finale part one out next week <3

[leftsidebonfire]

This isn't a hate ask, I have real questions I think it would benefit you to think about. These questions aren't meant to be accusatory, just exploratory. Whatever conclusions you come to can only be yours. You certainly don't need to answer each question, unless you want to-- these are just meant to be subjects to think on and digest.

Regarding "mean characters," do you feel the same way about mean male characters? When men in trouble cut others off or reject niceness, do you hate them in the same way? When you see a mean male character, do you assume things about them that you wouldn't assume about a female character, and vice versa? Do you unconsciously justify the mean behavior of men, but not women? Why or why not?

What expectations do you have of men vs. women? Does it affect your ability to relate to characters even when they display the same behaviors? Do any beliefs you may have bleed over into how you feel about and relate to other people? Do any beliefs you may have affect how you feel about and relate to yourself?

I encourage you to ask these questions and really think about it, because no matter what conclusion you come to, thinking carefully about these things can only benefit you.

Im only answering this in the hope that this will get everyone off my fucking back about this (not you specifically)

I have addressed the first question. Many times. But here is my answer: YES!!!!!!!! YES! this part seems to be constantly ignored by everyone wanting to jump down my throat!!! I hate ANY needlessly asshole-ish character.

My main point to this DOES regard the writing around women, though, so that's why I keep bringing it up. Usually the asshole-ish man character gets a scene where they end up being able to be vulnerable, maning the audience sympathize. Most of the time, in the same scenario, the woman character doesn't.

I can't even begin to explain the amount of times I'm watching a movie or show, and all of a sudden, a mean female character appears. Often times, they are the "leader" to the male character, usually the "tough girl" who's gonna "show him the ropes" or whatever. (I'm kinda just making up a generic scene but I can definitely think of several things that follow this format, so just go with me on this ride okay?)

So Strong Female Character (TM) has no time for nonsense. They are curt and rude and mean for no reason. They are cold and uncaring (and never get a scene to show that they ARE actually caring, etc)

Another trope to this is often: Female Character is in a fight and is clearly outnumbered, so Another character (often male but not always) jumps in and helps them, saving them. But then the woman will snap at them and say something nasty like "I HAD IT COVERED" and be rude.

So basically, a character who is very rude to a character who has been kind to them, no, is not a character I'm instantly rooting for. I just find it to be nasty.

Ive got a whole damn list of mean male characters who are rude, nasty, perverts, etc, you name it! And I hate them too!! They can be just as equally flat and one-dimensional as these women. Think of any 80s movie bully. I wanted to beat them senseless!

My favorite characters always tend to be the nice ones. I relate to them, I would be their friend, I empathize with them much easier than someone who, the entire time they've been onscreen, has been nothing but rude and mean for no discernable reason.

This is not the same as a good villain. I love a good villain. I also love to hate villains. BUT the same writing trope often befalls the villains too!!! Male villains are painted as sympathetic by the writers, or often made to be cool and charismatic (look at the Loki phenomenon) but even a lot of female villains are just cruel and mean. They don't get that ~egde~ of charisma that the male villains get. So instead of seeming sympathetic or hot ot whatever it is, they come off as very one-dimensional-flat. Just "Oh, She's a bitch because she's mean."

The whole critique is the idea that women deserve the good writing. I said it once, I'll say it again. a well-written character being mean is not bad writing. A poorly-written one who is mean, however, is. That's all I'm getting at here. I'm saying that they often get reduced to nothing. And I don't have to enjoy a mean character, male or female, if they're well-written or not. And more often than not, they are NOT my favorite character and I form no special attachment to them. It's nothing personal, I just. Don't. Like. Them.

Its not a debate about men vs women. It's a debate about the fact that women characters are USUALLY fucking terribly written more often than not, and it does nothing to make me care about them. That's what makes the well-written women so special to me, especially when they can be strong AND kind. Being strong does not equate to being a bitch. I am far more invested in a strong character who can admit when they need help, or offers kindness, than a "strong" character who shuts everyone out and is nasty all the time.

I LOVE sympathetic and kind characters. I see myself in them. Nasty characters just seem like bullies to me. I had enough of shitty bullies in high school (and anonymous in my inbox) (not you)

[beautifulmorningstar]

i never read the manga either. but, i did read a few other shoujo manga as a teen. i wasn't all that interested in the romance (with men) content for obvious reasons, but the girls around me liked that sort of thing, and i wanted very badly to understand them.

what i learned was a lot of straight women are all too eager to romanticize their own abuse. romance with way older men, romance with men in positions of power (they're her teacher, or her boss, or an extremely wealthy man that plucked her from an average, or even impoverished, life), men who verbally abuse women (including mc), men who assault them, men who don't take "no" for an answer, men who expect femininity from her, men who admonish her for being a human or individual rather than a servile decoration.

i think it's socialized, but the way that there's so much content out there made by women for women that depicts abusive, misogynistic men as charming, cool, or romantic does make me wonder just who is doing the socializing in this case. it benefits men, either way, so it's still men's fault no matter what, but i notice the most popular romantic material written for women is often written by women...and contains abusive and misogynistic material.

at the very least, the core premise of ohshc contains a couple glaring examples: haruhi is poor, and she got roped into essentially roleplaying "soft prostitution" by boys who were far wealthier than her by leveraging debt (from an accident) against her. sure, the boys are also roleplaying "soft prostitution," but that's also strange in of itself.

this is really long, sorry...😅

Anon you are so spot-on.. Like... I never say it because there's always someone who doesn't want to see it said. But you're totally correct: media by (straight) women is rife with toxic or even sick power dynamics in their relationships. I agree that this is probably a result of socialization (I would go further and say this could be an expression of their understanding of society), because I do know straight women who wholly reject this dynamic - but the ones who do often get the lesbian label wrongfully pushed onto them from dick-centric idiots, who struggle to find relationships that work for them, or have their perspectives ignored by larger society. Meanwhile the women with puddle-level depictions of heterosexuality and other relations between the sexes or within a sex class get platformed for regurgitating the same acceptable idea of male-favored dynamics. Not to mention the recurring phenomenon of actually interesting male characters vs background wallpaper / overly-unrealistic /eternally-suffering female characters that aren't the main self-insert. Why are women writers uninterested in giving their female characters the same level and detail of depth as the male ones?

Not all women-made media is like this, but soooo much of it is. There's an argument to be made about not censoring fictional works, of course - people can imagine whatever they want and enjoy whatever they want. But it would be silly not to acknowledge that a massive part of any popular media is one that supports the domineering ideology of relations between the sexes, and that this continues to socialize and influence each new set of young minds.

I wouldn't include in this, for example, female writers who have their male characters encounter actual growth and development if they started out annoying or misogynistic. But this is not usually the case (at least in my experience). Especially in romance, as you mentioned.

Many things about ohshc actually squicks me out in a way I was willing to overlook for my friends. I believe Kyouya knew from the start that Haruhi was female, and he's essentially the one who saddled her with the task of paying off her debt via the club...... The way they're always forcing her into feminine-coded dress...the whole thing reeks. :I

As lesbians though... Well, we should still throw out the forced feminization and other stupid parts, but at least the dynamics wouldn't be as painfully cringe.

[what-if-rpg]

Welcome to the family, LO! Your application to AVERY FABRAY was accepted. We’re really happy to have you around! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! We can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Avery Olivia Fabray CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 33; 31st August OCCUPATION: Fashion Designer FACE CLAIM: Lily James HOMETOWN & CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Lima, OH; now living in New York City, NY. SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Bisexual and cis-gender female RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Divorced POSITIVE TRAITS: Creative, determined, generous NEGATIVE TRAITS: Argumentative, closed-off, forgetful CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: "I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting"

HEADCANONS

She was the furthest thing from quiet. She loved to be the centre of attention and endeavoured to always find her way into the spotlight. She wasn’t one for traditional academics; she didn’t like to sit still long enough to really give them the attention they needed. She was much more interested in memorising her lines for drama class, or thinking about the best way to style her hair for the photoshoot she planned to rope her friends into once the final bell rang.

Avery discovered sewing as a young teenager. Her Mother encouraged her, hoping it would be a hobby that would finally focus her unsettled daughter. Flora's instincts were correct and Avery developed a passion for making altering her own clothes, and then eventually making clothes for those around her. Daniel and Juliette were often roped into being models for her many endeavours.

Avery was never the hopeless romantic type. She dated throughout high school but was never under the impression that anything would last. She had goals and those goals didn't involve marrying young and settling down. It didn't surprise anyone when she put her education on hold for Gabriel; she'd always been described as a little bit flighty and while her Father wrote her off as being uncommitted and frivolous, he didn't do anything to stop her. Daniel didn't like Gabriel and at first spend a lot of time trying to make Avery see what he thought was sense. It was the biggest fight the twins had ever had. He had come around by the time Avery was graduating and got engaged, serving as her man of honour at her wedding. What did surprise those around the couple was that they never had children and the question came up many times in various social situations but neither Avery or Gabriel ever gave anything regarding the future of their family away.

Avery is in a strange state of flux. Her divorce has just been finalised and she's become very wealthy because of it. She's realised during the process of her divorce that her marriage changed her, and she's not sure who she is without having Gabriel at her side. She's dealing with the humiliation and has become quite adept at putting on a face for the world while inwardly floundering for what she's supposed to do.

CONNECTIONS

Russell Fabray and Flora Devereux: Her relationship with her parents is a complicated one and not one she has any desire to unpack to any great depths. She was close to her Mother growing up but found her Father was often more interested in spending time with Daniel over her so their bond wasn't as strong. Her relationship with both parents has become more estranged following her recent divorce which happened because she discovered her husband had spent the last five years of their marriage following in her Father's footsteps of keeping a secret, second family. At her lowest moments, she considers it some twisted sort of karma for not having had much interest or sympathy for her half-sisters when the secret first came out. Daniel Fabray: Daniel is both Avery's twin and best friend. Like any other sibling relationship, there's no-one who can get under her skin quite like him but he's also the person she's closest too. Juliette Fabray: Her first thought when she learned she was going to have a little sister was that it would be just like having her own baby. She was adamant that she'd help dress her, feed her and change her. The reality wasn't quite like what she imagined but Avery has always doted on her little sister. She's fiercely protective of her and anyone who messed with Juliette didn't need to worry that her big brother would be the one to deal with it. That would fall to Avery who liked to believe she was much more intimidating than Daniel. Their relationship is evolving to one in which they're equals; both successful adults in their own right and Avery relishes watching Juliette come into her own. Quinn and Frannie Fabray: When their Father's secrets unravelled, Avery had very little interest in knowing her other sisters. She was dealing with her own hurt and included them with the mess she didn't want to acknowledge. As she's come to terms with everything and faced her own similar situation, she wants to reach out but she's not sure where to start. Gabriel Dupont (NPC, ex-husband): Avery met Gabriel during a year studying abroad in Paris. She fell head over heels very quickly and deferred her final year of college by a year in order to stay in France with him until he graduated. They were long-distance for a year after that and were engaged immediately after her graduation. They settled in New York and despite Gabriel often having to travel for work, they were very happy. Work was keeping him in Paris for their ninth wedding anniversary and because they'd never spent one apart, Avery decided to surprise him. She was the one surprised because when she showed up at their French apartment, his girlfriend answered the door. She didn't get much of an explanation before their toddler appeared at his Mother's legs. Their divorce was messy; rife with cruelty, tension and ultimately leaving destruction in its wake.